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unfinishedslurs · 2 years ago

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gay bar (steddie)

“Well, well, well,” says a voice from behind. “Steeeeeeve Harrington. I must be dreaming.”

Steve turns around to see a guy, dressed in black and chains. Rings decorating his fingers, studs in his ears, curly hair pulled back in a ponytail. He’s hot, yeah, but something about him has Steve squinting, trying to figure out why he looks so familiar.

“I know you from somewhere,” he says, pointing out the obvious. The guy knows his name.

The not-a-stranger snorts. “Of course you don’t remember me. Why would the likes of King Steve stoop to—“

As soon as the nickname leaves his mouth, Steve’s brain lights up. “Munson!” He exclaims, snapping his fingers. “You used to climb on the lunch tables to give speeches.”

It was so obnoxious, too. The kind of thing that had him and Robin reminiscing late at night, celebrating some of the weirder shit about Hawkins that didn’t come from monsters, or Russians, or government conspiracy. Remember that one asshole? Yeah, he stepped on my lunch one time!

Condolences to Robin’s pb&j. She never sat at that table again.

Munson’s whole face turns pink. “Seriously? That’s what you remember?”

“It was pretty fucking memorable, dude. Like, gross, doesn’t this guy know not to put his feet where people eat? Dustin thought you were so cool for it too. I had to nip that in the bud before he started imitating you or some shit.”

“Oh,” he says, voice gone flat. “Because God forbid some poor kid try to immolate the freak.”

Steve gives him his bitchiest, most deadpan stare. “Feet,” he says slowly. “Nasty, fifteen year old boy feet. On my kitchen table. He almost slipped and cracked his skull, and I would have sent you the hospital bill.”

He had to get creative to make him stop, too. Stood there, hands on his hips, and made Dustin tell him exactly how many germs he thought were on his shoes. Then when he tried to do it barefoot, decided the only course of action was to stuff Dustin’s abandoned sock in his mouth and ask if he wanted that shit with every meal. Erica still has the photos.

Munson has the decency to look embarrassed, face flooding an even brighter red that wouldn’t be out of place in a tomato patch. “What are you even doing here, Harrington?”

What does he think Steve’s doing here? It’s a fucking gay bar, it’s pretty self explanatory. “My friend is here somewhere,” he says, waving out at the crowd of people. “She’s going through a dry spell, so…”

“Right,” Munson says. Steve squints at him. Does he look disappointed?

Eh. Doesn’t matter.

“You gave my kids the best freshman year of their nerdy little lives,” he tells him, because he knows Dustin would want him to. Plus, the guy was Mike’s gay awakening. He should probably get some credit. “So thanks for that.”

He lights up. “Yeah! How was Hellfire in my absence?”

“I had to hear them bitch and moan for months about how it ‘wasn’t the same,’ but it’s doing pretty all right. Erica Sinclair is running it now.”

“Erica Sinclair…” Munson mutters, snapping his fingers. “Lucas Sinclair’s little sister? Lady Applejack?” He beams when Steve nods. “She kicked ass. Best finish to a campaign my entire high school career. How’s Lucas, anyway? And the rest of the runts.”

“He’s doing great,” Steve says. “College basketball at Yale. Pretty sure he’s dying under the workload, but that’s what you get for majoring in physics. Dustin’s at MIT, and Mike’s taking a gap year.”

He whistles lowly. “Yeesh, I don’t blame him. How about Byers?”

“Which one?”

“Zombie boy.” Steve’s hackles raise, but Munson just grins. “God, that nickname was badass.”

“How do you even know about that?”

Munson taps the side of his nose. “A magician never reveals his secrets. Besides, all it took for you to remember me was calling you by your high school nickname.”

“That wasn’t my nickname.” Steve rolls his eyes. “Literally three people ever actually called me that, and you were one of them.”

He has a feeling it was Tommy who started it, bitter and vicious. Told himself Steve was self possessed, high and mighty, above it all. That’s why he left his old friends behind. Not because he was in love, or because he wanted to be better. No, King Steve just sits alone in his castle, looking down on the peasants with contempt.

Billy must have taken his angry ramblings and run with them. After all, what better way to get a start in a new town than declaring yourself royalty? Never mind that Steve hadn’t cared about anything like that for almost a year by then.

Munson had just been a drama-loving asshole.

“That can’t be right.”

“I stopped being popular in junior year. Why the hell would anyone call a sophomore King?” Steve points out.

“You were Prom King.”

“Again, in junior year. Pickings were slim. Who else would it have been? Tommy?” He has to laugh.

Luckily, Munson takes the hint and swerves the conversation into new territory. “You know, I always figured you’d be homophobic.”

Steve snorts. “What, and get kicked out for nothing?”

Munson stares at him, and Steve furrows his brow, looking into his glass like it will have the answer to why the hell he said that to this guy he barely knows. He just decided he wasn’t going to spill all his daddy issues to a near-stranger in a dingy bar, dammit. Is he already on his fifth drink?

Actually, this might be his sixth. That tracks.

“What?”

“My dad caught me kissing a boy,” he says. If he’s going to give Munson his life story, he might as well commit. “Can you believe that boy ruined my life in three different ways? Two of them didn’t even have anything to do with the gay thing.”

Maybe four ways, if you accounted for the way he broke his goddamn heart, but everyone and their mother saw that coming a mile away. Even Steve. Especially Steve.

No offense to Jonathan. None of those things were really his fault. Or actually life ruining, but it sure fucking felt like it at the time.

He should give him a call soon, actually, see how he and Argyle are doing. He misses the guy. Maybe he and Robin should save up for a visit to Cali. Get Nancy on it. They could see San Francisco while they were there, that’d be cool. Apparently it was the queer capital of the country.

He’s thinking about asking the bartender for a napkin and a pen to write down the plans he’s forming when Munson speaks up again. Steve honestly forgot he was here.

“I thought you said you were here for a friend.”

What?” Steve blinks, confused, and then catches on. “Yeah, to get her laid. I’m not in the mood right now.”

Munson cocks an eyebrow. “Wearing that? Could’ve fooled me.”

Steve looks down at his Springsteen T-Shirt that Robin cropped, and picks at the frayed hem of his shorts. Okay, yeah, they’re on the skimpy side, but in his defense it’s summer and even if he’s not cruising Steve likes being looked at. “Yeah, yeah. What about you? Here for anything in particular?”

“Just to talk to some pretty boys,” Munson says, leaning on the bar to flag down the bartender. Steve smirks, reaching out a hand to tug at the hanky in his back pocket. Pinned, damn.

Munson whirls around, a flush starting to crawl onto his ears.

“Wearing that?” Steve echos snarkily. “Could’ve fooled me.”

He swears that for a minute Munson’s eyes darken.

He’s almost tempted to follow through, high school reputation be damned, when someone crashes into his side and nearly sends him careening.

“Steeeeeve,” Robin yells happily into his ear. “This is Bernie, she’s gonna take me home, see you la—oh, hi!” She says, noticing Munson. “I know you from somewhere.”

“Eddie Munson,” Munson greets. “Steve and I went to high school together.”

“Munson! That’s it, you climbed on tables and had shit music. I’m Robin. Okay, I’ll call the apartment and leave a message when we get there. Bernie’s waiting on me, it’s-nice-to-meet-you-bye!” Just like that, she’s gone.

Munson’s mouth has dropped open. “You told her I had shit music?” He demands. “Wait, you talked about me?”

“She went to school with us, dumbass,” he says, as if he can talk. He still barely remembers her as more than a vague, glowering figure in his peripheral. “It’s not my fault you blasted your screamy music for everyone in the parking lot. Such a fucking headache, God.”

Munson turns his nose up. “Sorry for having offended your jock sensibilities.”

“Oh, I don’t play anymore,” he says, and knocks on his head. “Concussions, yanno. Apparently brain damage will fuck you up. Who knew?”

“What, like the fight you had with Byers? He did you that bad?”

“He did me just fine,” Steve blurts out, before he can stop himself. Munson chokes. “Shit, sorry, I’m kind of a horny drunk.” Weird thing to say, Steve. “Also, I cannot stress enough how much I needed to be punched in the face. It was a monumental moment for me, you know. Started me on the path for changing my entire worldview. Plus, he was my first guy crush.” He swirls his empty glass, lost in thought, before brightening up. “I should call him!”

Munson is staring at him, mouth opening and closing like a fish.

“What?”

“You’re drunk.”

“Well, yeah. Duh.”

“I should probably stop you from booty-calling the guy who punched you in the face.”

Steve wrinkles his nose. “It wouldn’t be a booty-call,” he says. “He and Argyle are happy together, man. I’m not gonna ruin that.”

“Oh, so you’d call him because…”

“I call him all the time,” Steve says, confused as to why this is such a big deal. “We’re friends.”

“Jonathan!” He yells happily into the pay phone. Munson is standing to the side, looking on in annoyance. Whatever, it’s not like Steve asked him to do this. “Jonathan, man, how are you?”

“…Steve?”

“Yeah!”

“It’s like…” he hears something clatter in the background, like Jonathan is looking for something, “two in the morning there. You okay?”

“I’m doing great!” He exclaims. “How about you? It’s been ages, man, I miss you.”

“This is so fucking weird,” Munson whispers behind him. Steve ignores him.

“Are you drunk?”

“No,” he says. “Well, maybe a little. Do you not miss me too?” He pouts, and Jonathan sighs loud enough he hears it over the phone.

“I just talked to you yesterday.”

Steve frowns. “Yesterday? That can’t be right, it’s been, like, forever. Oh, hey, have you heard from Nance lately? How’s your mom? I love your mom, she’s so fucking cool. Does she know I think she’s cool? How’s Will? It’s been so long, is he taller than me yet? How’s Argyle doing with his degree? I miss you guys.”

“We miss you too, Steve.”

“Awww, Byers, getting soppy on me? Gross, man.”

“You literally just—yeah, okay. Are you alone?”

“Nah, I’ve got this guy with me, he’s walking me home. Oh! Dude, do you remember Munson?”

“Munson?”

“Yeah, Eddie Munson! From high school! The one who used to climb on tables and shit, remember him?”

“Jesus Christ,” Munson groans. “Please let that die.”

“No one is dying,” Steve informs him seriously, and turns back to the phone. Munson sighs.

“Wasn’t he a drug dealer?”

“Yes! Yeah, drug dealer Munson! Did you ever buy from him?” He turns to where Munson is looking around furtively. “Did Jonathan ever buy from you?”

“How about we not talk about this here,” Munson says through gritted teeth. Steve sighs and turns back to the phone.

“Never mind, he says he doesn’t want to talk about that. Not like we can judge him, but whatever. Maybe the guy’s turned into a prude—“

“Okay, give me that.” Munson wrestles the phone out of his hand, and Steve whines at him. “Hey, Byers,” Munson says. “Yeah, it’s Eddie. Or Munson. Whatever. Listen, I’m getting kind of sick of standing here watching Harrington slobber all over the receiver, can he call you tomorrow? What? No, I don’t sell anymore—yeah, total bummer, whatever. Listen, I’ll get him home safe—no, I’m not going to serial murder him. He’s gonna be fine, he’ll call you tomorrow—Nancy Wheeler? Like that girl he dated? Didn’t you—shoot me? Jesus, okay! I’m not gonna kill the guy, Christ. He’s gonna be fine, oh my God. He’ll call you tomorrow. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah, okay. Bye.” He slams the phone into its holder with more than a little contempt.

“Hey!” Steve protests. “You didn’t let me say bye.”

“You can call him tomorrow and apologize,” Munson says. “Now c’mon, Harrington. I’ve been tasked with getting you home safe, and if I fail, apparently Nancy fucking Wheeler is going to shoot me in the balls.”

“Oh, yeah, she’s really hot when she does that,” Steve says fondly, and Munson splutters.

“What, does Wheeler just go around shooting people? Does she even have a gun?”

“Of course Nancy has a gun.” Steve frowns. It was one of the sure things in the universe at this point. The sky is blue, Hawkins is fucked up, and Nancy Wheeler has a gun. “And she doesn’t shoot people, stupid. Well, she shot at Billy, but he deserved it.”

“Billy?” Munson mutters, starting to usher Steve in the direction of home. “Who the fuck is Billy?”

“He was trying to kill her first!” Steve defends. “I hit him with a car before he could, so she was okay.”

“Okay, yeah, sure. Why wouldn’t you hit some guy with a car?

“It wasn’t some guy,” Steve says. “It was Billy. He was, like, possessed or some shit. Oh, and he beat me up. Total psycho. And that was before the melted flesh monster.”

Munson stops and stares at him. “You know what, sure. Demonic possession. Yeah, okay. Some guy named Billy kicked your ass—wait, are you talking about Billy Hargrove?”

Steve lights up. “Yeah! You remember that? That’s one of the concussions I was talking about. I gotta wear glasses 'cuza that shit. Man, fuck that guy.”

“Didn’t he die?”

“Oh, yeah,” Steve frowns down at the ground. “Shit, I’m, like, speaking ill of the dead, aren’t I? Max wouldn't like that. Unfuck him, or whatever.”

“You wanna come up?” He asks. “For old times sake?”

Munson stares at him like it’s the craziest thing he’s said all evening. “‘Old times’ was your asshole friends calling me a satan worshiper and pushing me around in hallways, Harrington.”

“I know.” He grins. If he was sober he’d definitely feel worse about that, but as it is he’s pretty single minded. “Don't you kind of want to make me cry about it?”

Deer in headlights isn’t usually a good look, but Munson’s got the eyes to make it work. Or Steve is drunk. Either way, it’s kinda cute.

“You’re drunk,” he finally says, stumbling over the words a little. If Steve pays close attention and ignores most of reality, it almost sounds like he’s trying to convince both of them. “You’re so incredibly drunk.”

“I’m not that drunk.” He totally is.

“I just had to supervise you calling Jonathan Byers so you didn’t say something you’d regret in the morning.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Steve asks, offended. “I love Jonathan! I tell him all the time. Just because I said he ruined my life—“

“That was him?”

“Did I not say that? Huh. Whatever. Point is, I’m not that drunk.”

“You’re definitely drunk,” Munson says. “I’m not—yeah, no. I’m not coming up.”

“Damn.” Steve shrugs, not too put out about it. It’s a bummer, sure, but he handles rejection like a champ. Just ask Robin. “Worth a shot. See you ‘round, Munson.”

“Don’t kill me,” Steve says.

“Oh, god, did you punch him?”

“No, I, uh.” Steve rubs the bridge of his nose. “I think I tried to fuck him.”

He has to hold the phone away from his face so Dustin’s screeching doesn’t break his eardrums.

“Your exes are weirdly protective of you,” Munson says blandly. “Also, didn’t they date?”

“Yeah,” Steve shrugs, not exactly eager to start spilling his life story again now that he’s sober. Munson doesn’t need to know more about his dating history than he already does. “We’re all a little weird about each other, sorry.”

“Weird about your exes,” he hums. “No wonder you’re single.”

“Oh, fuck you. It’s not like that.”

He raises an eyebrow. “No?”

“Are you always this nosy?” Steve asks, a little waspish.

“Absolutely,” Munson replies without hesitation. “I’d say sorry, but I’m not. When did you even date him?”

“Dude.”

Munson just cocks an expectant eyebrow, hip resting against the bar. He can’t imagine why someone would be so interested in the romantic lives of their old high school classmates. It’s not like Steve is about to ask what was going on between him and Chrissy Cunningham.

“Well, Harrington?”

“First grade,” Steve answers, deadpan. He grins when Munson chokes. “Nah, it was actually after he and Nancy broke up. Fall of ‘86.”

Arms squeeze him from behind, and Robin slides into view, leaving one hand wrapped pointedly around Steve’s waist. She gets clingy when she thinks someone is bothering him, or when she’s just on the side of drunk that she gets possessive. She told him, embarrassed and hungover, that it’s because she registers someone he’s getting along with as infringing on “her Steve time.” Steve thinks it’s hilarious and kind of sweet, an obvious lesbian trying to pretend he’s her date. Especially because he gets the same way when he’s tipsy and feels like he doesn’t have enough of her attention, so she can't yell at him for being a cockblock. Cuntblock. Whatever the lesbians call it.

He wonders what category she thinks Eddie is. Of guy, that is. Not block-anything.

He'd actually be pretty damn happy if the guy miraculously changed his mind and decided to sit on his cock instead.

“What’s going on here?” She asks, almost cattily. He loves when Robin gets bitchy. It brings him back to their Scoops days, except he gets to see it turned on someone else.

“I’m telling Eddie my life story,” Steve says blithely.

“Ugh. Who would want that?”

Eddie grins. “I’m curious about the adventures of a former king.” He dips his head in a bow, waving his hand in a flourish. “I don’t know if you remember me from last time, I’m Eddie—“

“Munson, I know. You stepped on my lunch in junior year.”

Eddie turns beet red in record time.

“Aww, Robbie,” Steve almost coos. “Leave him alone. I wanted to be the one who made him blush like that.”

“It’s not my fault your boy’s easy.”

“Not my boy, clearly,” he mutters under his breath. “And if he were easy, I’d have gotten fucked by now.”

Eddie’s mouth drops open with a choked little sound. Whoops. Steve forgot volume control again.

Robin takes one look at Eddie’s face and bursts into cackles.

“He was asking about,” he waved a hand in the air, “the whole Nancy-Jonathan thing.”

Her eyebrows jut up. “You told him about the threesome?”

“The what?”

Steve sighs. “No, Robin. I did not tell him about the threesome.”

“…oops.”

“When?” Eddie demands.

Robin gives him the evil eye. “Why are you being weird about this? It’s not gonna make him fuck you.”

Steve wisely keeps his mouth shut.

Eddie does not. “Your boy here already asked,” he smirks, leaning closer. “I said no.”

Then, as an added punch to his ego, he twirls a strand of Steve’s hair around his finger and tugs slightly. Steve’s too stunned to protest.

Robin watches the exchange. “Oh, no thank you,” she says. “Nope. I’m out. I don’t want to see whatever this is. Ugh, stop making me hear about your sex life.”

Hypocrite. “We have thin walls, Buckley,” Steve reminds her. He turns to Eddie and stage whispers, “She likes her girls loud.”

“Steve!”

“You do!”

“Oh, because you’re so quiet,” she snaps, smacking him. “How many times have I had to bang on the wall because you couldn’t keep it down? You wanna talk about loud? I know more about you than I ever wanted to.”

His mouth drops open in mortification. “You know it’s rude to be mean to the man who told you how to eat out,” he hisses.

“I’m not dying without fucking Eddie Munson,” he declares. “I mean, his high school nickname was literally ‘The Freak.’ He’s got to be good in bed, right?”

“I think that was mostly because everyone thought he was communing with the Devil or something.”

“Maybe the Devil gave him sex magic.”

“Of course he thinks I’m cute.”

“I do?”

“Do you not?” Steve turns to him, widening his eyes in the same pout that always has Robin throwing something at his face, or the kids reluctantly agreeing to do what he wants. He’s found it’s useful for guys too, especially if he ducks his head to seem smaller and looks through his eyelashes. Makes them imagine him looking like that on his knees.

Munson is no exception. He melts faster than Steve can say gotcha. “You’re very cute, Harrington,” he purrs, and Robin snorts into her drink.

“You’re a weak, weak man, Eddie Munson,” she tells a blushing Eddie. Then she kicks Steve. “Stop bringing out the ‘fuck me’ eyes when I’m around, I’ll gag.”

“You could leave.”

She gasps, affronted, and kicks him harder.

“So you would fuck me if I wasn’t drunk?”

“Uh…” he looks everywhere but Steve’s face, which is just rude. He has a very nice face. He’s been called dreamy before.

Which made Robin laugh so hard she fell off the couch when he told her, but he’ll take the lesbian’s opinion with a grain of salt.

He makes his way onto the dance floor. He’s not a particularly good dancer, but he shakes his ass like he means it. Gets up close with a guy, stares at Eddie the whole time. Keeping eye contact as the guy puts his hands on his hips.

Look, he means to say. This could be you. You could lose your chance if you’re not careful.

From the burning in Eddie’s eyes, he gets the message.

The message is a bunch of bullshit. It’s been over four months, he’s in too deep to go fuck off with someone else now. Still, he enjoys the way Eddie’s hands flex on his thighs, like he had to stop himself from reaching out.

The thing is, Steve’s not an asshole. He can take a hint. No means no, and all that jazz. If Eddie really didn’t want him, he’d fuck right off and find someone who did. He even started to.

Except Eddie pouted up a storm when he flirted with someone else. Got even clingier when Steve tried to back off. At this point, he’s accepted that Eddie does want to fuck him, and maybe even be more (no one flirts with someone as long as they’ve been doing without wanting something like a relationship out of it. At least, he hopes there’s something more on the horizon), but has some weird hang up about Steve being even a little bit buzzed when it happens. Even though they only ever see each other at this fucking bar.

The problem is Steve has no idea when Eddie will be at the bar. He’ll stay sober one night, hoping to see him, and then go home alone only for next time to be when he sees telltale curls and a wide smile. It’s driving him up the wall.

Robin has been similarly affected.

“It’s been six months,” she growls as Steve looks eagerly around. “Six fucking months of you two dancing around in the worlds most annoying mating ritual. I’m going to kill both of you.”

“We’re not that bad,” he says absently.

“You don’t even have his phone number. It’s pathetic. I swear to God, if you see him again and don’t get laid I’m reviving the scoops board. I will go out and buy a whiteboard to keep track of all the times you strike out with a man who used to walk on tables. He stepped on my lunch, Steve. Do I need to keep bringing up the fact he stepped on my delicious, nutritious PB&J? I can’t believe that’s the guy you decide to be obsessed with, that’s so fucking embarrassing for you.”

“Embarrassing? You mean like your crush on my ex girlfriend?”

She screeches wordlessly, pulling her keychain off her belt loop and attacking him with it.

Naturally, that’s how Eddie finds them.

“I swear you guys get weirder every time I see you.”

Steve grins guilelessly at him, holding a flailing Robin in a headlock.

“Eddie! Hey! It’s been a minute.” He hasn’t been able to come in a month, and it’s been longer since he’s seen him. It’s honestly one of the deciding factors on whether it’s a passing fancy or a full blown crush. He still went to sleep every night thinking about Eddie. It didn’t even have to be about sex.

Although maybe not sleeping with anyone else for half a year should have tipped him off sooner.

“Sure has, big boy. I was starting to think you were getting sick of me.” It’s a joke, but Steve catches an undercurrent of insecurity.

“That’d make my life easier,” Robin snorts. She finally wiggles her way out of his hold. “I saw Arty somewhere around here, I’m gonna see if I can crash at her place tonight.” She levels Eddie with a look. “He hasn’t had anything to drink. If you don’t put him out of his misery, I will. And it won’t be the good kind. It will be the bad kind. With bad screams. Lots of screaming, and someone will call the pigs, and I’ll be arrested and jailed for life. Do you want me to go to jail, Munson?”

Eddie shakes his head dumbly.

“Good! Then do something about it.” She slaps Steve’s back, a mocking echo of his jock days. “Go get ‘em, slugger!”

With that, she’s gone, disappearing into the crowd.

“She is,” Steve remarks with amusement, “the worst wingman on planet Earth. Mars too, probably.”

“I dunno, I think it might be working.”

“I’m not doing anything without a condom,” he says, eyes narrowed like he’s waiting for an argument.

“Me neither,” Steve agrees. “Robin has, like, this big fear of diseases. Totally got me with it. She pulled out the library books, those pictures were fucking disgusting. Shit showed up in my dreams, man. Neither of us do anything without protection.”

“I’m going to be totally honest with you, because I haven’t been and it’s starting to eat at me,” Eddie says, hovering above Steve.

Steve wrinkles his nose. “What is it? Are you a spy or something? Are you Russian? Do you have superpowers? Is your name not actually Eddie?” He pauses. “Oh, God, you’re not even Eddie Munson, are you? I’m just some asshole who’s been calling you by my old classmates name and you were too embarrassed to correct me. Shit, we made so much fun of you for walking on tables too—“

“What?” Eddie covers his mouth, expression hovering between amused and baffled. “What the fuck, why would I go along with that? No, Jesus, I’m Eddie Munson. Moved to Hawkins when I was eleven, took senior year three times, walked on the fucking tables, could you let that go?” He moves the hand covering Steve’s mouth to play with his hair, looking annoyed for a minute before it smoothes to trepidation. “No, I, uh, I just felt like I needed to tell you that I used to have a hate-boner for you in high school. Like, I used to jack it to the thought of kicking your ass and making a mess outta you. In more ways than one.”

Steve stares.

“Also, that’s kind of why I approached you in the bar in the first place,” Eddie blabbers on. “And then you said you were just there for a friend, and I was disappointed but it’s whatever, yanno? And then then you told me about your dad, and threw my expectations to the fucking wolves, and then you asked me to come up to your apartment except you were drunk and you probably didn’t mean it. But then the next time I saw you, you kept flirting with me, which you were not supposed to do, and I kept pretending that wasn’t the reason I even talked to you in the first place, and, uh, yeah.” He smiles nervously. “Surprise?”

“I mean, not really.”

“You’re such an asshole, fuck off. At least pretend to be shocked.”

“It’s not my fault you stare at my legs all the time,” Steve says, affronted. “I know I didn’t do too good in school, but I’m not dumb enough to miss that. Like, hello, my eyes are up here.”

Eddie lets his arms give out, flopping on top of Steve heavily. Steve wheezes. “Am I really that obvious?” He whines into his shoulder.

“You got sad and pouty when I even looked at another guy.”

“You could’ve fucked him,” he mumbles. “The guy you were dancing with. It wasn’t any of my business. I’m a big boy, I can deal.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t want to fuck him,” Steve says. “I wanted to fuck you. Can we go back to that please?”

“Thought I was fucking you.”

“Someone’s getting fucked or Robin will kill both of us. I’d like to live tomorrow morning. And not have to deal with any more of her teasing for having no game.”

“You have unfortunate amounts of game,” Eddie sighs, tracing the side of Steve’s neck. It tickles. “It’s kind of embarrassing for me.”

“Yeah, yeah, are we using those condoms or not, Moodkiller?”

“Oh, I’m the mood killer?”

“Yes,” Steve says matter of factly, and pulls him in for a kiss before he can protest.

#gay bar au #steddie #stranger things fanfic #eddie munson #steve harrington #robin buckley #featuring robin as the worlds worst wingman #i'm never not going to bully eddie for walking on those tables #'why does everyone here hate me🥺' mf it's bc you keep putting ur nasty ass shoes where people eat #i've said it before and i'll say it again. someone should have yanked on his leg and made him faceplant. he would have deserved it #we stay billy bashing 💪#in this au the byers didn't move to california #jonathan still goes to school there tho #why? bc he and argyle are soulmates and time and space moved for them to make sense next question #i need u to know eddie does not have sex magic and steve isn't actually as smooth as eddie thinks. they r just obsessed with each other #that one person who was in my notes truthing ab a stoncy threesome. i was excited when i saw that bc i had this written hope u see it <3

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autumnleaf1111 · 3 months ago

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18yo arc

Elise forced Dazai and Chuuya to play with her. Little did they know, they were in for a treat. She made them play “family” with her and Q. Chuuya was the mom, Dazai was the dad, Q and Elise were the kids. They forced them to “get married” for the game. So they held a fake wedding. But— Uh—

Elise made them sign a real marriage certificate without them knowing. Also using real wedding rings she stole. So, for the next 4 years of them not seeing each other, they had still been married. Without knowing it. Later, when they started working together again, they both noticed that they both had kept the ring.

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“I hate you” Chuuya mumbled to Dazai. “I didn’t even do anything???” Chuuya just rolled his eyes. “If it weren’t for you then we wouldn’t be baby sitting these two little shits” Chuuya grumbled. “We didn’t even have a choice in the matter.” Dazai said, rolling his eyes. “What ever.” Chuuya crossed his arms.

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The two had been forced to babysit Elise and Q for the day. Of course Elise had to be a little shit and come up with the most dumbest thing to play.

Family.

Therefore, Elise and Q let (forced) Dazai and Chuuya to act as parents while they themselves took on the roles of children.

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“So? What do you want us to do exactly…?” Chuuya hesitantly ask the two children. “Well! Me and Q with be the children, while you and Dazai act as our dads!” Elise explained with a shit eating grin. “Why?” Dazai grimaced. “Because I said so” Elise replied with annoyance. “Dazai, Let’s just get this over with…” Chuuya mumbled. “Whatever” Dazai rolled his eyes.

About an hour later they were still playing ‘family’ when Elise stood up. “Where are you going?” Chuuya asked, voice filled with curiosity. Elise turned and grinned at him. “Oh, I’m just getting something! I’ll be right back.” She then trotted away out of her room. “The hell is she about to do—” Dazai mumbled.

“Q, Do you know what she’s planning?” Chuuya asked, turning to face the younger boy. Q just grinned. “Yep!” Dazai and Chuuya both glanced at each other, knowing that whatever Elise is planning, is gonna be bad. Dazai sighed. “Well, shit…”

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Well, Shit is right!

Chuuya and Dazai looked at Elise with wide eyes, confused and shocked by her idea. Elise walked back in with papers in her hands, but they couldn’t tell what they were. She grinned with an evil smile her child mind and conjure up.

“No” Chuuya firmly stated, crossing his arms with a determined look. “Yes” Elise grinned at him. “Absolutely not, you two.” Dazai said, glaring at Q and Elise. The reason Dazai and Chuuya were denying this request was a simple reason. When Elise had walked back into the room, she had been holding papers. When she sat down in front Dazai and Chuuya, she showed them the papers and what they said.

Dazai and Chuuya took notice at Elise grinning menacingly at them, then looked at the papers carefully and quickly realized that these weren’t just any papers but they were un signed marriage certificates. “Elise, Why do you have fake marriage certificate?” Chuuya hesitantly asked. Then Dazai added. “why are you giving them to us?” Elise grinned at Dazai and Chuuya. “We’re playing family, so you two should get married!” Their eyes went wide.

“What?!” Chuuya yelled. “I’m absolutely not gonna marry Chuuya!” Dazai said. “But it’s not even real!” Elise whined. “No, absolutely not.” Chuuya said.

Ok, Elise will just have to do what she always does when she wants something. “PLEASE!!! Please, Please, Plea—” “Alright!” Chuuya yelled. “We’ll do it, just shut your mouth…” Dazai mumbled. Elise and Q clapped their hands in joy. “Ok! I’ll act as the priest!” Q said. “I’ll be the ring bearer!” Elise said as she took two rings out her pocket. “Why do you have 2 rings already—” Chuuya muttered. “Let’s just get this over with.” Dazai said, standing up.

They all do the whole ceremony thing, whatever you do at weddings.

“Do you, Dazai Osamu, Take Chuuya Nakahara as your lawfully wedded husband?” Q asked, pretending to be the priest. Dazai rolled his eyes. “I do, I guess.” Q looked at Chuuya. “And do you, Chuuya Nakahara, take Osamu Dazai as your lawfully wedded husband?” Chuuya rolled his eyes and clenched his jaw. “I do…” Elise and Q smiled. “You may now kiss the—” They both interrupted Q. “No” they both did not want to kiss. Even for the fake marriage. Elise frowned. “Yea. This is how weddings work, you’re supposed to kiss.” “Well this isn’t a real wedding.” Dazai spat out. “Do it or I’ll throw away your canned crab” Elise threatened. “Chuuya, I’ll also throw away your hat collection, so kiss each other.” Dazai and Chuuya glared at her. “Just do it!”

They both sighed. Quickly, Chuuya grabbed Dazai’s collar with his hands, softly pulling him forward. They paused for a second before Their lips finally met. It was short and sweet…although, not short enough for either of them to forget. Ever. They’d never admit it but they were both a bit disappointed when it ended.

Elise and Q clapped their hands. Elise stood up and held out a pen with the papers she brought. “Now, just sign these papers and your fake marriage will be complete. They both rolled their eyes and signed their names on the ‘fake’ marriage certificate. Well…what they didn’t know was that, those marriage certificates? They weren’t fake. So, Chuuya and Dazai were actually married but they didn’t know.

Until years later…

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“Hey, Dazai?” Yosano called out to Dazai.

They were at the agency, do paper work and all that. Kenji was showing Kyoka his plants, Kunikida was writing a report, Dazai was…kinda writing a report, Ranpo was just eating sweets, Atsushi was going over some files and Tanizaki was writing some stuff down in a journal. Yosano had just walked out the clinic and had a ring in her hand. “Yes Yosano?” He answered. “You left your ring on one of the bedside tables.” She holds up the ring. It’s a pretty ring, it had three light blue diamonds on it. One in the middle and two smaller ones next to it.

“Oh! Thank you!” He quickly got up and walked over to her. She handed it to him and he quick put in on his finger and walked back to his desk. “So, why do you have the ring?” Yosano asked. Dazai stiffened. He quickly went back to his child like composure. “Oh, it’s nothing! I just found it on the street a while back.” They all knew that was a lie. “That’s a big lie” Ranpo said with a smirk. “Whatever do you mean, Ranpo?” Dazai tries to hide behind a clueless look, but it was obvious he was hiding something.

“You didn’t just pick up that ring in the sidewalk, We know you have it for a different reason.” Ranpo said. Dazai crossed his arms and pouted. “C’mon Dazai, Tells us why you have the ring!” Kenji chimed in with a smile. “I have to admit, I am quite curious.” Kunikida said. “Dang, you have Kunikida interested in this so you’ve gotta tell us now.” Yosano said with a grin.

Dazai rolled his eyes. “Fine. I’ll tell you.” He sighed and fiddled with the ring. “Well, for one, I’ve had this ring since I was in the Mafia. Mori decided to have me and Chuuya baby sit Q and Elise while he had some big important mission.” Dazai started to explain. “Elise made us play family.” He said, rolling his eyes. “So, we eventually did. For some reason she gets up and left, coming back a few minutes later with papers on her hands.” He pulled the ring off his finger and onto another. “Turns out, she for some reason had fake marriage certificates. So, she made us pretend to get married. I still don’t know why she just had them lying around. Anyway, she made us have a wedding, made us kiss, then made us sign the fake marriage certificates.” Dazai then finished his explanation, looking around at all the confused and shocked faces.

“Wait, you and Chuuya kissed?!” Yosano asked with a smirk. “Elise forced us.” Dazai said. “Why’d you keep the ring?” Atsushi inquired. Dazai went quiet. That’s a good question. Why did he kept the ring? Why didn’t he throw the ring out when he left the Mafia? “I dont know, I never thought about.” Dazai said, then Ranpo smirked. “Dummy.” Yosano stifled a laugh. “And why do you say that, Ranpo?” Dazai asked, raising an eyebrow. “Because I know why you kept the ring, so don’t ask me why because you need to figure that out on your own.” Ranpo grinned.

“Wow, you’re truly evil” Dazai sarcastically said. Ranpo just smiled. “Alright, everyone go back to work.” Kunikida said.

After that, it was never brought up again….at least not for a while.

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Chuuya walked out his apartment and shut the door. He started walking away but then quickly turned back. “Shit—” He ran inside and went straight to his room. He opened his nightstand and immediately grabbed a ring, putting it on. “How the fuck did I almost for get this…” he mutter to himself. Eventually he made his way to the Port Mafia and went to his office.

About two hours later Elise walks into his office with a box of files. “Hello Chuuya!” She greeted him. “What’s going on?” He asked as she set down the box of files. “Mori doesn’t have a job for you yet so he said that you should at least do something and not be bored. He told me to get a box of files and have you look through them, throwing out the ones we don’t need.” She explained. “Hm…alright, thank you Elise.” She smiled at walk out of his office, shutting the door behind her.

Chuuya opened the box to find a bunch of files, all in Alphabetical order. Around 20 minutes of looking through the files and reading each one, he noticed a file that didn’t have anything written on it. “That’s weird…” he grabbed it and opened it. When he took the papers out of it, his eyes went wide. It was the fake marriage certificates!

He moved the other stuff out the way and set the papers down on his desk in front of him. He glanced at the ring on his finger, then back to the papers. He spaced out for a moment, fidgeting with the ring. He remembers that day as if it was just an hours ago. He could still feel the soft and warmth of Dazai’s lips on his. He remembered how his chest felt a pain on annoyance when the kiss stopped. He knew why he felt that pain…he knew from the moment it happened. He knew why it annoyed him when the kiss stopped. He just never wanted to admit…

He took off his ring and admired it for a bit, thinking about all the dumb stuff him and Dazai use to do. Back then, he wanted to throw it away. He tried to throw it away. After the day they babysat Q and Elise, he just threw the ring in a drawer. Never thought about it again.

A while later he had a mission. He had to go over seas for a bit. He went digging around his drawers to find an old pen. He never found it. What he did find, however…well, that threw his mind off. He found the ring in the back of the drawer, buried under some other random junk. He grabbed it and looked at it. “I forgot you…” he muttered. He looked at the time, realizing he has to leave. Without thinking, he put the ring on and left.

When he came back from his mission, he was not expecting to see what he saw. He saw how Mori was annoyed. How Elise and Q seemed off. How Kouyou avoided his gaze, hoping he wouldn’t see the sorry in her eyes. He didn’t understand why she looked sorry. But what confused him the most was that he hadn’t been bugged by an annoying asshole as soon as he came back.

Then he found out.

He found out that Dazai was gone. That they couldn’t find him. The worst part is that for a while…no one knew if he was dead or not. Some people thought he had just left and was a traitor. Some think he died. And Chuuya….

Chuuya didn’t know what to think. Different thoughts were going through his head. Half of Chuuya was angry. Angry that Dazai didn’t tell him he was leaving. But part of him was also scared….scared that Dazai actually decided to stop playing around. Stop playing around with his failed suicides. He thought that Dazai had gone somewhere no or could find him…just so he could finally commit suicide. Chuuya did t know ow if he was alive or dead.

And that scared. Holy shit, it scared him. He couldn’t deny it anymore. He couldn’t deny the feeling of dread every time Dazai tries to kill himself. He couldn’t deny the feeling of relief when it didn’t work. He hated himself for worrying about him. He hated the fact that he wanted to search for him, all day, everyday, just to find some sort of confirmation that Dazai was still alive. He hated how he actually did search for him.

That night when he came back, his car had been exploded. In the middle of him almost having a mental breakdown, his fucking car blows up. Great. More annoyance. Chuuya still kept searching. For anything that lets him know Dazai is at least alive. He wasn’t sure of it…until about a month later.

He was mad. He thought he’d be happy but he was furious. Happy, furious, sad…abandoned…

He saw Dazai walking along the street. He saw he had a new coat and he didn’t have that bandage on his face anymore. He hated the fact that he loved that Dazai looked healthier. He saw Dazai smile, but he knew that smile. That was a fake smile. One that could fool anyone. Well…anyone but Chuuya.

Later, Chuuya stormed into his apartment and quickly opened some wine, drinking straight from the bottle. He didn’t realize he was crying until after he felt the tears drip on his hands. He looked down and saw the ring. It made him angry and sad at the same time. He didn’t know what to feel.

He was happy for Dazai, he truly was! He just wished he was happy around Chuuya. Instead of leaving the port mafia to be happy, he also left Chuuya. That made Chuuya pissed.

He took another big gulp of the wine sat it down, walking over to think sink. He quickly turned on the garbage disposal and took off his ring.

He froze.

Cmon, drop it…drop it! Damn it! Just fucking drop it already!

He couldn’t…he knew he couldn’t…

It was basically the only thing he had left that would remind him of Dazai. As pitiful as that sounds, he honestly couldn’t give a shit. All he could think about was how much he wanted his partner back…

Fuck…why did you have to make me remember these thing…he thought to himself. He looked back at the papers, reading them.

The truth is—He and Dazai never actually read the papers. They just wrote their names down where Elise told them to.

Big mistake.

He read the papers and his eyes went wide. These weren’t fake certificates…these were real…Legally, he was married to Dazai?! “What the fuck—” Chuuya’s head spun in circles so fast. He couldn’t believe what he just read. “Holy shit— fuck fuck fuck—” Chuuya stood up and grabbed the papers, storming out of his office. He quickly walked out the Port and shouted the papers on his pocket. He got on his motorcycle and drove straight to the agency.

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“Ugh! Can we do something else? This is boring!” Dazai complained. He had paper work to do but didn’t want to do them. “It’s just 5 papers, You’ll be fine.” Atsushi said, rolling his eyes. “Paper work is boring.” Dazai grumbled. “Dazai, just do it and get it over with.” Yosano said. “Ugh. Why can something interesting happen?” He rhetorically asked.

Just then, the sound of the office door slammed opened. They all stand ik and look to see Chuuya standing in the door frame. “Dazai!” He yelled. “Chibi?” Dazai was truly surprised to see him here. “What exactly are you doing here? We have a truce with you guys so you can’t just—” Chuuya ignored what Kunikida was saying and walkover over to Dazai and dumped the 2 papers on his desk.

“What’s brought you here, Chibi?” Dazai asked smugly. “I found these papers.” He said, pointing to the papers he put on Dazai’s desk. “And what are these?” Dazai fiddled with his ring. “Do you remember when Mori had us babysit Q and Elise?” Dazai noded. “Of course I do, why?” He smirked. “Did you ever read what the papers actually said?” He asked. “Of course not. I mean, why would I need to read fake— oh—” Dazai quickly read through the papers, realizing that they both signed real marriage certificates.

“I’ve gotta admit, I didn’t not see this coming.” Dazai said, biting his lip. “Stop biting your lip, we talked about that— anyway, what the hell did we do?!” Chuuya crossed his arms and leaned against Dazai’s desk. “I still wanna know why she had these in the first place…” Dazai had said. “She’s a little shit, of course she’d have real ones.” Chuuya grumbled.

“I feel like an idiot.” Chuuya groaned. “Honestly, me too.” Dazai agreed. They were both so dumb for not reading the papers beforehand. “Seriously though, what do we do? Do we just leave it?” Chuuya muttered. “I mean, there’s not much we can do. We don’t know where she got these from and I doubt she’d even tell us where we have to go to get the other papers.” Dazai had said. “Ugh! I hate her.” Chuuya pouted. Dazai chuckled. “She’s Mori’s ability, of course she’d be a shit head.” “Are we seriously just going to leave it?” Chuuya asked, playing with the ring on his finger.

“I knew it!” The all heard Ranpo yell. “What?” Dazai asked. “Both of you, show me your hands.” Ranpo said. They both looked at each other then showed him their hands. “I knew Dazai wasn’t the only one who kept one of the rings!” Ranpo grinned. Dazai and Chuuya looked at each other, then looked at each others hands. They both saw how the other kept the ring. “Oh wow.” Yosano smirked. “Uh— I’m a bit lost. What are those papers for?” Atsushi asked.

“Apparently me and Chibi are married.” Dazai said, nonchalantly. Chuuya scowled. Everyone’s eyes went wide(other than Ranpo). “Wait what?!” Kunikida yelled in disbelief. “Chill out, glasses.” Chuuya muttered as he took the papers. “You guys remember when I told you the story about why I had the ring?” Dazai asked. They all nodded. “Apparently, the marriage certificates weren’t fake like we thought.” Chuuya said. Yosano and Ranpo exploded with euphoria. “Holy shit! This is one of the best day ever!” Yosano yelled.

“I guess we could just leave it alone.” Dazai quietly said to Chuuya. Chuuya just sighed and nodded.

In all honesty…he wasn’t as upset as he wish he was.

“Hey, you two!” They hear Ranpo call out to them. “You two should go and talk about this.” Ranpo said, smirking. Dazai knew what that meant. Chuuya may not have known Ranpo for long but it was obvious what he meant by that. They knew what he meant when he said to talk about this. Not to talk about the marriage certificates, but….

Their feelings.

They both looked at each other and looked away. Dazai stood up, taking Chuuya’s wrist and dragging him out the door. “What are you doing?!” Chuuya yelled, but he didn’t try to pull his wrist away. “You heard him. We need to talk about ‘this’” Dazai had said, not too quiet but not too loud either. Chuuya sighed. Dazai dragged them to a different office room. They walk in and sit on a desk, not saying a word.

It felt like forever until the silence was broken. “Why didn’t tell me…?” Chuuya mumbled. Dazai looked at him in confusion. "Why didn’t you tell me you were going to leave…?” Chuuya said, a little louder. His voice quivered with a mix of anger and hurt as he stared at the floor. Dazai shifted uncomfortably, avoiding Chuuya's gaze. "I didn't think you would care," he mumbled, barely audible.

Chuuya's eyes widened in disbelief. "Of course I care, you idiot!" he exclaimed, his voice breaking slightly. "You were my partner, Dazai! How could you think I wouldn't care if you just disappeared without a word?" Chuuya let out a deep breath. "You always said you wished I wasn't in your life, so I assumed you wouldn't care when I finally left." Chuuya felt tears welling up in his eyes.

“You’re such an asshole…” Chuuya muttered. “When I…when I came back from my mission…everyone was acting weird…Mori seemed annoyed, Elise and Q seemed sad and Ane-San tried not to look at me…” Chuuya paused, waiting for Dazai to say something. When he didn’t, he continued. “I knew something was wrong but I couldn’t figure out what it was…something else had started to bother me. When you hadn’t tried to bother me all day I…” Chuuya paused, trying his best to not let his voice shake. “I knew something was wrong…” Chuuya sighed. “I had asked Ane-San why everyone seemed off and where you were…” Chuuya breathed in. “When she looked at me…I could tell something happened and it had to do with you…” Chuuya stared at the ground, as if he’s burning holes through them.

“She told me…She told me no one knew where you were…” Chuuya whispered out, desperately trying to not look at Dazai. “Some thought you had just left, as a traitor, including Mori, and others thought you somehow accidentally got yourself killed, and I—” Chuuya stopped. “You what…?” Dazai pleaded him to continue. Chuuya swallowed the lump in his throat, holds back tears that are desperately trying to fall.

“I thought you had gone somewhere so no one would know where you are…I thought you….i thought you finally decided you would stop fooling around and actually decided to kill your self…” Chuuya said that last part quietly, his voice cracking. “Fuck…Dazai, back then I actually thought you killed yourself…” Chuuya paused then slowly turned his head and leaned his forehead against Dazai’s arm, Then Dazai hesitated before he softly placed his hand on Chuuya’s, intertwining them. “I’m sorry I left…” Dazai muttered and Chuuya just shook his head. “No…don’t be…I know why you left…” Chuuya took a deep breath, preparing himself for what he’s about to say.

“Dazai, if you had asked me to…” Chuuya paused, thinking if he should say this, lifting up his head and looked at him, letting the tears fall. “…I would’ve gone with you.” Chuuya whispered. “I know, Chuuya…I know…I just didn’t want to put the burden of you being a traitor on your shoulders…”Chuuya sat straight up and looked at Dazai.

“Dazai, Why didn’t you at least tell me you were going to leave?” Dazai thought for a moment. “I guess i just didn’t know how?” Chuuya frowned. “Dazai, You’re stupid” Dazai just laughed. “Yeah, I know.” Dazai wrapped his arms around Chuuya, running his fingers through his hair. Chuuya reciprocated and hugged him back. They sat there for about five minutes until Dazai spoke.

“How bad was the noise when I left…?” “What noise?” Chuuya looked confused. “Arahabaki.” Chuuya hummed in understanding. “I’ll be honest…it kept getting worse to the point where I…I did it again…” Chuuya said. Dazai’s breath hitched, knowing what ‘it’ was. “Can I see…?” Dazai hesitantly asked. Chuuya held out his arm. “Sure…” Dazai sighed before he started to roll up Chuuya’s sleeve. It’s worse than he thought. The cuts on his arm had been more than he thought there would be.

Back then, Chuuya had always had Dazai to silence the screaming Arahabaki kept doing in his head. Before he found out that Dazai could help him, the only way he thought would silence the god inside him, was pain. His arms used to be full of scars. Most of them were self inflicted…

Dazai found out and didn’t like it. So they made a deal. If Arahabaki were to ever get bad enough that Chuuya would need to hurt himself for it to shut up then he would go straight to Dazai. Even the simplest contact could silence it completely.

So when Dazai left…the Self Harm had been worse than ever. “They’re clean…I made sure of it.” Chuuya said, watching Dazai trace the scars on his arm. “Alright….” Dazai’s the only person he’d ever actually let know about the scars. “So…what now?” Chuuya muttered. Dazai didn’t say anything, he just traced his thumb along Chuuya’s scars. Carefully, Dazai lifted Chuuya’s arm up and left a soft but quick kiss on one of the scars. Chuuya froze as Dazai put his arm back down. “Please, don’t hurt yourself again…” Chuuya didn’t say anything, but Dazai knew he agreed. Chuuya instinctively embraced Dazai, nuzzling into his neck and holding him close without hesitation. Dazai reciprocated the embrace. They sat like that for a moment before Dazai spoke. “Fuck…I’ve missed so much more than you realize, Chuuya.”

Without thinking, Dazai cupped Chuuya’s face and kissed him softly. Chuuya froze for a moment, realizing the situation then reciprocated the kiss. They pulled away breathlessly. Chuuya looked into Dazai’s eyes, wanting to say something. “I’m gonna regret saying this but I’ve been in love with you for years…” Dazai just smiled. Chuuya’s face flushed. Dazai gave him another quick kiss and spoke.

“Me too, Chibi…me too…”

Dazai pulls him into one final kiss……

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #gay shit #soukoku #gay hoes #i hate them and their gay asses #gay mfers🙄#skk

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