#i hate how fucking bad and boring my current school is

[flimsyichigo]

it sucks wanting to be in a relationship when the guys in my school are fucking trash. like most of them are either too old (even worse to think abt since we’re all seniors) and/or fucking weird + racist.

and the girls… i don’t think i even wanna try honestly. none of them are really my type either.

there is like one dude left in my mental roster that i’m willing to take a chance with but like it’s mainly based on pure physical attraction. though he does share a lot of my interests based on what i overheard him talk abt with his friends (not overheard in a creepy ass way. they just sit behind me in one of my classes and they talk so damn much.) the thing is he seems pretty closed off and only seems to stick with his friend group and i’m awful at approaching ppl and making the first move so im not sure if anything’s gonna happen there💀

if it ends up going wrong with the last dude (aka find out he’s a piece of shit in someway or find out he’s a super senior) then i’ll just give on my entire school and pray i meet someone cool at a concert or barnes and noble or some shit

[satorugojjo]

The more I read the more I don’t understand the absolutely homophobic coded hate for The Sun and the Star. Nico literally shares a homophobic experience he experienced in the 40s that shaped the way he viewed himself, reflects on it, and then comes to the conclusion that’s what made him react to Cupid so badly, and THIS is something to hate??? Nico, growing, learning to share, learning to not impose isolation on himself, learning to feel his emotions and let them out, to be there for people, to miss Percy and Hazel and Jason, actually developing, and people are like “ugh so boring and unrealistic, they ruined my fav character”

Well, sorry he’s not the miserable little edgelord you all desperately want him to be. Sorry that Will actually has some very understandable flaws, sorry that Percabeth aren’t perfect, sorry that you’d read book about the experience of coming out for an Italian raised boy from the 1930s and think it’s boring, sorry that you’d read about the trauma of his Tartarus experience from HoH and go “OVERDONE”!!! This book does have flaws but it is not Nico and Will.

Every single interaction feels meaningful, the focus on emotion, growth, light, happiness, connection, love, friendship, and more is what is quintessential PJO to me. It’s not full of adventure after adventure and that’s perfectly fine to me. They’re navigating an emotional minefield. How the fuck can this fandom sit here and complain about the lack of emotional depth in Blood of Olympus and then when they do get it they’re like, “oh no no no this is the WRONG kind, I want him to stay miserable, I actually don’t want to read about his sorrow from his POV, I don’t want Nico to be MATURING” GROW UP?

Nothing about Solangelo so far feels OOC to me, and every time they do it’s actually even pointed out to us that it IS ooc, and we get to see how they feel about it. This is exactly what I expect from canonical middle school sunshine/darkness tropes.

Also, this is VERY IMPORTANT so pay fucking attention. THIS. IS. NOT. A. MAIN. PLOT. BOOK. IT DOESNT HAVE TO BE BREAKNECK PACING. If this was an anime, this would be a sweet little OVA arc. This is a side story, just the same way the Percy/Thalia/Nico story was. It’s a companion book about two side characters. Why are your expectations as high as a main series book? It’s a NICO AND WILL book, it’s not anything more or less. Another thing to remember? Canonically this is meant to be the year 2011. The RRverse is very anachronistic where current year elements feature in a timeline where it shouldn’t, but EVEN SO, it still feels at best 2015. More importantly? It’s only been a year since Cupid. A singular YEAR. For reference the pandemic started 3 whole years ago.

I can’t stand fans sometimes, you’ll jump on any bandwagon of hate without exercising a single shred of critical thinking or nuance, and then conveniently forget a whole bunch of things that are GOOD for the minor flaws this book has. This isn’t a 10/10 book, it’s probably a solid 7.5!!! Stop treating it as if it’s 3/10. And I stand by what I said before. We need more middle grade LGBT lit! Is this the BEST out there? No. Is this however bad? No. And before you guys come for me without having a molecule of reading comprehension, it’s OKAY to not like this book. It’s not okay however to make sweeping statements of hate as if everyone who enjoys this book is a blithering idiot.

[elliespassagerprincess]

Omg if you’d be willing to do another boy genius song I loved the first one so much could you do cool about it it’s my favorite from them 🫶

Cool about it - (ellie williams x reader)

hi anon! I would love to do another boygenius one, I literally love them and thank you for the compliment! I hope you enjoy:)

This story is based off the song Cool about it by Boygenius, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are always open, feel free to send one! you can send me a song and I'll take it from there!

HUGE Warning: mental illness, murder, descriptions of murder, gore, mentions of touching a body, a small description of a dead animal, and Ellie being unhinged (as per usual)

Summary: if Ellie couldn't have you, she'd make sure no one else ever will.

wc: 1.7k

Met you at the dive bar to go shoot some pool

And make fun of the cowboys with the neck tattoos

Ask you easy questions about work and school

I'm trying to be cool about it

Feelin' like an absolute fool about it

Wishin' you were kind enough to be cruel about it

Tellin' myself I can always do without it

Knowin' that it probably isn't true

When Ellie met you, she knew her life was going to change. Whether it was for better or for worse, she didn't care.

Dina recently came out as bisexual and according to her, she needed to "meet hot girls". She dragged Ellie to a local lesbian bar and Ellie hated every fucking second of it.

She wanted to go home so fucking bad. She wanted to sleep-

"hi"

Ellie's thoughts were interrupted when she heard a voice talking from behind her. The voice of an angel, she would describe it. That voice that changed her entire life, from that moment on.

Ellie turned her head to see you.

And yeah maybe coming to the bar that night wasn't such a bad idea.

The two of you talked for hours about how shitty your college is, you talked about how Ellie wanted a promotion at the Café she was currently working at. The two of you made fun of the bartenders neck tattoos.

It was a really a night to remember.

Ellie had gotten your number and she immediately asked you out on date. And you quickly said yes. I mean, who wouldn't? It's Ellie Williams.

You made Ellie feel like a fucking fool. You were making her do things she's never done before.

She showed up to the restaurant 2 hours early, so she could choose the best table, so she could make sure the area was safe.

Her palms were wet with sweat the closer as she watched the minutes go by as she was waiting for you.

Ellie's eyes lit up when you walked info the restaurant, the air in her lungs were knocked out as you walked towards her.

You were beautiful.

"Hi" you gave her a small smile before she got up to hug you. As Ellie wrapped her arms around you, the scent of your perfume overtook her senses.

The two of you fit together like a puzzle pieces.

The date was amazing. You talked like you had known each other for years, despite only knowing each other a week at that point in time.

As the evening came to an end you told Ellie something she didn't want to hear.

"Look I'm not looking for something serious, just casual hook ups that's all. No feelings attached"

"no feelings?" Ellie asked in shock

"Yeah" you replied. "Just be cool about it"

How could she be cool with only hooking up with the girl, she thought was her soulmate?

I came prepared for absolution, if you'd only ask

So I take some offense when you say, "No regrets"

I remember it's impossible to pass your test

But I'm trying to forget about it

Feelin' like I'm breaking a sweat about it

Wishin' you would kindly get out of my head about it

Tellin' myself one day I'll forget about it

Knowin' that it probably isn't true

Ellie hoped that one day you'd call her and say that you regret only hooking up with her. She hoped that you'd tell her that you wanted more than sex.

But at this rate Ellie doesn't think that will happen.

You'd only call her when you were alone or bored, and Ellie being stupid and in love, always went.

She'd drop everything for you.

She knows this is toxic, being in love with someone you know will never fucking love you is bad.

But Ellie hoped this was a test.

She hoped you were testing her, testing her loyalty. It was unlikely, but she always had hope.

You were in Ellies mind, like a fucking plague. Like a fly that wouldn't go away.

Everything she looked at, everything she smelt or touched reminded her of you. And she was sick of it.

She saw you in her dream, and in her nightmares. Ellie saw you everywhere.

She already couldn't have you, now you were haunting her.

Is this some kind of joke? Did you ask a spell on her?

She'd beg the stars above to have mercy on her. To make her even forget about your existence entirely. But she couldn't.

You were there to stay. To haunt her. To mock her. Maybe one day she'll move on, but for now she has to deal with being with your side chick.

If only you'd given her a chance, you'd still be alive right now.

Once, I took your medication to know what it's like

And now I have to act like I can't read your mind

I ask you how you're doing and I let you lie

"Ellie when last have you taken your medication?" Joel asked as he walked into Ellie's room.

Empty plates and cups littered the room as he saw a few bugs run around.

Ellie's head snapped towards the door when she heard him talk.

"Ellie you know you need it" Joel tried talking with her again

"I dont"

"you'll hurt someone if you don't drink it" he tried reasoning with her

"I'm fine, I won't hurt anyone"

"don't lie Ellie"

"Joel get the fuck out" and with a sigh Joel left the room.

"I need to get into her mind" Ellie spoke aloud even though there was no one there.

"She left me Barry... why would she leave me for her?"

She needed to know why you didn't want her. She needed to know why you chose some blonde bitch over her.

She was cool with the arrangement that the two of you had. Strictly sex and nothing else. She got to see you, she got to spend time with you, but now that you have someone else.

You stopped seeing her.

What made Abby so special, that you could commit to her and not to Ellie? What was wrong with her?

"What can we do?"

"Hurt her? No that's not nice Barry" she told him.

"Wait so you're saying if we kill her no one will touch her?" She asked him.

"If she says no i'll hurt her...yeah thanks Barry"

Ellie excitedly got up from her bed as she reached out to grab her phone. She quickly texted you asking you to come over because the two of you had to talk about something important.

You said you'd be there in an hour and grin spread across Ellie's face.

Joel had left the house to go to see Ellie's therapist. He was very fucking concerned and he was afraid for his own safety.

Joel knew there was something wrong with Ellie since she was 5 years old.

She was playing out in the garden, before Joel called her in a for dinner. But Ellie excitedly told him "come look, I made a friend!"

With smile Joel walked out, but his smile was soon overcome with pure horror and shock.

Blood littered the grass a squirrel lay there cut in half.

Joel turned to Ellie as she looked at him with a big smile.

"Barry made me do it!"

Therapy session after therapy session, but yet no one knew why a 5 year old was killing animals.

They told Joel he was being overdramatic, that she was just acting out. But the older Ellie grew, the more violent her acts became.

She killed animals, she hurt her friends. She wasn't a kid acting out, she was a girl with a serious problem.

They gave her medication, to keep whoever Barry was quite. Without barry Ellie lived a happy life. A peaceful life.

But now, because of you, for the first time in years, she heard Barry talk to her again.

Barry always knew best in Ellie's eyes.

Ellie quickly cleaned the living room, before she hopped into the shower. All you needed to do was say yes, and she wouldn't hurt you.

Just say yes.

But we don't have to talk about it

I can walk you home and practice method acting

I'll pretend being with you doesn't feel like drowning

Tellin' you it's nice to see how good you're doing

Even though we know it isn't true

"please give me one chance" Ellie begged.

She watched you lower your heard as you let out a sigh.

"Ellie I can't, you know I don't feel the same way"

"Please try" she begged.

She hoped you would say yes. She didn't want to hurt you. You would be ok, you would walk out of here alive if only you said yes to her.

The love Ellie had for you was killing her. It felt like she was drowning.

Either you let her love you or she'd make sure nobody would ever love you again.

Ellie felt the cold blade of the knife dig into her back. She had hid the knife behind the chair she was sitting at and all she wanted was for you to say yes.

She needed you to just give her a chance and everybody would be happy. Everybody would be safe and you would leave alive.

"Ellie I said no"

Ellie's eye slightly twitched as she took a deep breathe. She closed her eyes lowering her head into her hands.

why didn't you just say yes?

She got up grabbing the knife, hiding it behind her back as she made her way towards you.

With tears in her eyes, Ellie looked at you and said "you should've said yes"

You looked at Ellie as she towered over you, you opened your mouth to say something but you suddenly felt something cold in your shoulder.

You looked to your seeing there was a knife, with eyes wide you looked back at Ellie as you let out a whimper.

"Why?" You asked her, as you felt the unbearable pain in your shoulder.

"you should've said yes" Ellie repeated, as she removed the blade from your shoulder.

You let out a cry, when the blade was pulled from your shoulder.

You tried moving away from Ellie, but she was bigger than you and much stronger. You had nowhere to run and all you could do was accept your fate.

Ellie brought the knife down as she stabbed you in the stomach.

"You should've said yes" she repeated.

The knife was pulled from my stomach, and she slashed your left cheek.

"You should've said yes"

She brought the knife directly into your eye socket.

"You should've said yes" she repeated as she slit your throat.

"You should've said yes" Ellie yelled as she repeatedly brought the knife down, stabbing you all over your body.

Blood spattered everywhere, and there wasn't an inch of your skin that was left uncut or without blood.

The last words you ever heard that day was "you should've said yes"

maybe you should have.

Ellie threw the knife somewhere in the room as heavy breathes left her mouth. Ellie looked down at your body, with a small smile on your face.

"We did it", she muttered to herself.

Ellie gently placed your still warm, and still bleeding body onto the floor, before she got onto her knees to give you a kiss on your forehead.

"I'm sorry I hurt you" she brought her hand up to wipe the blood from your lips.

"but it had to be done"

She lowered herself onto your chest. Ellie lay there cuddling with your dead body, she closed her eyes and she let out a hum of approval.

She's definitely has to thank Dina for taking her to that bar.

Authors note: well I've been posting everyday for the last 4 days and I'm so sorry for spamming, but I have so many requests and I'm trying to get everything done for yall. So just know for the next few days, I'll be feeling you with ALOT of content lmfao.Remember you are loved and to always be kind. I love you all.

Yours truly,

Zia:)

[yokakaiju]

i got bored and made a tierlist based off who smokes the most weed

justifications under cut

so like i made this cause its funny first and foremost, but i did put like somewhat actual thought into this. not much, but synapses were firing in my brain putting this together

also im not tagging everyone, ill just like pick 2 or whatevs

okay so first up is chidaruma. dude prolly invented weed ngl. you know he's smoked everyway imaginable: blunt, pipe, bong, can, apple, vape, synthesized, edible, hotbox, blower; you name it, he's done it. he's kinda over it, but he's still up there just cause like... idk he is and won't take criticism

haru is a beautiful weed smoking gf thats literally it

13's entire schedule is probably wake up, smoke, jerk off, sleep, eat, smoke, jerk off, eat, smoke, repeat. he also would probably kin jesse pinkman

ton is a bitch and smokes all the cross-eye commanders weed. like they'll save up for MONTHS to get like 5oz (one for each of them :3) and he'll be like, "woah! a bag of weed!" and smoke it ALLLLLL in like an hour. he's like a truffle pig for weed, they can try to hide it but his ass always finds it and smokes it all. he would prolly also call it za or skunk or some shit like that

ebisu isn't quite in the high 24/7 catagory, but she could be. dawg loves weed, like she is also 100% a fucking master at rolling blunts she rivals chidaruma at it. rolling blunts is like a sport for her tbh

aikawa's gotta cope dawg. like if he aint at school or currently being possed by demons his ass is smokin that shit bruh he needs a minute to chill. also he's got crazy money (kai's money but shhh) so he might as well spend it on his pookie <3 (risu)

noi may be controversial being up so high, but hear me out. weed smoking gf? i think yes B) mogs at you

asuka also has to cope, but its cause shes a blackpilled femcel (her own words i stg)

chota would smoke, but he hates the smell and doesn't want it to ruin his clothes and shit. he prolly wears like silk gowns and dances around to madonna while trippin off like 10g. he's livin the life tbh

OKAY HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT johnston. fucking johnston is only i repeat ONLY UP HERE‼️ because kasukabe gives him those little non thc thc pills people give to dogs with anxiety and agression issues to keep him calm

poor dokuga cant share with his besties so he's been condemed to eating edibles alone... also smoking/inhaling smoke makes him drool a bit so like a bit deadly for everyone around him to even try. i like, debated on putting him in never, but tetsujo prolly cooks smth up for him so he doesn't feel left out <3

natsuki is only at the top of sometimes because she probably would more if she had money. also she sucks in a blunt rotation cause her ass ALWAYS WITHOUT FAIL tries to hold it in and always coughs like a mfer and taps out after like one hit

vaux just makes sense. he looks like an average 30-40smth nu metal oldhead, theres no way he DOESNT smoke at least a little. id put him in 100% but he's also a fairly responsible doctor so liek idk

kasukabe doesnt as much anymore, mostly only when he's with haru, but he still does sometimes for funsies cause he's just chiil like that :3

tetsujo doesn't thattt much cause it fucks with his already dog shit depth perception super bad, but sometimes if ton or the others dont find it he shares it with dokuga and they like yuri pose and eat edibles together or smth idk

ik kaiman is gonna be controversial being so low, but listen. 1) his ass is too focused on socerers and shit to care 2) he's dirt poor. he simply cannot afford it 3) how tf is he gonna smoke with no lips? that blunt would just get chewed to shit. like genuinely he would maybe get one singular edible if nikaido or vaux were feeling nice, but other than that its like, idk almost never for him

i would but shin in never, but ik noi is like "boss!!!! come take hits off this bong with me!! its gonna be so sick omg you HAVE to come smoke with me RN!!!!" and he'd be like "sighhhhhh... anything for my weed smoking gf ig..."

ushishimada is only so low cause i feel like he's too mothery to smoke a lot? like, he's too responsible, but not responsible enough to outright say no. also they're poor asf and ton always smokes it all

fukuyama would get his ass kicked by tanba if he found out, but ik dawgs gotta take a load off sometimes tbh

now again, controversial take but i have reasons. risu is so fucking poor. like, genuinely he is too worried about his tuition, bills, and groceries to give af about it (also cause aikawa is a bitch and makes him pay for everything cause "i forgot my wallet oopsie :3c"). now aikawa does supply him tho and he hooks him up with the primo shit ong. so at least when he does smoke he smokes that good shit (also they yuri pose as well while they smoke)

again, saji is too mommy to smoke that much weed (also another case of being too poor). bro doesn't want his clothes and needlework to smell like shit, which i respect

ai 100% would if his ass wasnt so busy with his damn self expiramentation bs. like, he wants to smoke so bad tbh, but he's like "sigh i gotta work on my plans to rebuild my body from the ground up.. maybe tomorrow" stares longingly out the window imagining how cool smoking weed is

again, kai's over here fuckin "i have to go to work" like he genuinely just doesn't care or have time. he's never even thought about it tbh, like you're tellin me this mfer has had a single thought outside of total domination in his entire existance??? HELL NAH HIS ASS DOES NOT THINK HE HAS ZERO THOUGHTS IN HIS HEAD I STG

now this may also be controversial. why isn't by beautiful coquette cottagecore angelcore babe out there rolling and smoking the fattest blunts known to man? turkey just like doesnt feel it. its not for her tbh. she tried smoking, she tried edibles. she just wasnt a fan tbh. like, she'll cook up some of the tastiest edibles you've ever had if you ask, but she just aint a fan

kirion also just doesn't feel it tbh. again, its not for her and thats alright

wow surprise surprise another controversial take. like, before you get mad just think abt it for a sec. like, she's so fucking business first and always has been that i think she would just see it as a major hinderance on her job performance, as well as the performance of her employees later down the line. now im not saying she's a narc or hardass about it, im saying she just doesn't feel it. the high she gets from people enjoying her food and making money is enough for her tbh. also she does do edibles sometimes, but mostly like when it rains in hole to make it a little less miserable and painful

en is about the same. like, he def has. he's just like, idk. he doesnt wanna. its not for him anymore. he doesn't care if anyone in the family does it, but they better not sacrifice the quality of their work for it. like if he catches you high on the job its prolly like some sort of repremanding, but off the clock he dont gaf

genuinely copy paste nikaidos shit for tanba. he's too worried about his business to even consider smoking weed

now... kawajiri is a fucking narc and a half. his ass would be like "erm ☝️🤓 well actually" and then give a big long speech about how weed is bad blah blah blah whatever no one cares dawg stop fuckin yappin. but like, he's just pissed cause no one will smoke with him or share their weed with him cause he's such a hardass

fujita is kinda weed smoking gf coded, but like ik his ass would be like "EN! EN! I SAW EBISU SMOKING A BLUNT THE SIZE OF HER OWN FOREARM AND TRYING TO SHARE IT WITH KIKURAGE!!! YOU NEED TO STOP HER RN!!!!" but hes only like this cause when he was in a blunt roation with shin, noi, and ebisu they all told him holding it in made you higher, but he ended up puking and they all laughed at him and made fun of him for it because hes a fucking idiot. so now he's an evil little narc who squeals to en when he even catches a whiff of a skunk like scent

curse is a bitch and ik his ass is like "RAAAHHHH‼️ I GOTTA GO KILL THE CROSS-EYES BOSS RAHHH‼️ I NEED TO SEEK REVENEGE FOR MY MURDER RAHHHHHH‼️" like dawg chill tf out be so real rn. he's too focused on revenge and shit to smoke and like, i think if he did smoke and kai also smoked they'd have beautiful hot sexy yaoi, thats just me tho

oh my god shou is such a bitch about it. like sure kawajiri gives lectures about the "scary true reality of weed" and fujita is a narc, but this guy. oh my god this mfer. THIS IS THE REAL REASON EVERYONE FORGOT ABOUT HIM ITS CAUSE THEY KNOW HIS ASS IS GONNA WHINE AND BITCH AND MAKE YOU GO TO LIKE AA OR NA OR WHATEVER FOR IT!!!! HE'LL START CALLIN YOI AND ADDICT AND SAYIN ITS A GATEWAY AND SHIT AND HOW THE DEVILS WILL IMMEDIATLY DRAG YOI TO HELL AND TORTURE YOU FOREVER IF YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT IT OH MY BALLS

kikurage is literally just a dog dawg. her ass dont even know what weed is

store crow mauler is like... idk man. idk how it would smoke weed or if it even knows or cares what weed is. whatever, its kinds like a pet so whatevs

[nburkhardt]

Somebody Loves You, You Got A Friend. (Part 8)

Other parts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

Seeing as all my current WIPs are making me mad, I nearly forgot about this. Since it’s already written out and in my notes app, I thought I should post it lol.

Quick note: a few POV changes happen, there’s a bit of plot and I kinda bash Nancy a bit. (picks up right after part 7)

Gareth watches as Eddie falls asleep and he only knows because of how relaxed his friend looks and he pulls his eyes away to find the freshmen looking so confused.

They don’t ask anything, thankfully, but they’re not at all sneaky with their glances towards Eddie. Or the completely silent conversation they have with each other.

He just hopes whatever it’s about doesn’t involve Eddie.

Eddie’s dragging the rest of the day and Gareth is about ready to explode at how dumb his friend is being, “dude, you should’ve stayed home”

“I had to take tests, that effects my final grades” he says, “I- Ms. Click fucking hates me dude”

And unfortunately, his friend is right and he has to watch as he suffers finding his work and everything else. The rest of the day is pretty boring, the only weird thing was catching Nancy Wheeler eye Eddie during their shared class. He only noticed because he’s trying and failing at not laughing at Eddie, who’s nodding off during Mr. Smith’s lecture.

Once the final bell rings, he’s trying to find Eddie since their last class isn’t shared.

He turns the corner and nearly falls on his ass, “fuck” he mumbles and looks to see the person he ran into, “dude my bad.”

Jonathan Byers nods and helps him up, “sorry, I wasn’t paying attention either”

He’s about to say something else, when he hears an all too familiar laugh. Looking around he finds Eddie with a nasty glare aimed at Nancy Wheeler, he looks at Jonathan and wordlessly they both move towards the other two.

“I don’t fucking sell shit anymore, Wheeler and it wouldn’t be any of your business if I did!”

She crossed her arms and glares up at Eddie, “but you did sell! And it is my business!”

He can just see Eddie’s anger, before anything else happens, he steps closer to his friend and quickly grabs his arm, “Eddie let’s go, cool off before you get home, yeah?”

Eddie doesn’t answer, just glares at Nancy, “it’s not your business, he told you to stay away! That means, stay away from me too.”

He doesn’t say more, simply because Gareth punches his arm and leads him back out, “dude what the fuck?”

Eddie shakes his head and makes a beeline to the van, “Nancy is a bitch, dude.”

“I noticed, who were you talking about?”

“Stevie. Nancy believes she can get him to help her with some shit. Been like this for a year now, when Stevie and I were only just starting out with our friendship” Eddie explains with a glare aimed at nothing and his hands clutching and unclutching from frustration, “When he was only a few months pregnant, there was one morning where his mom answered the door to find her standing there and wanted her to wake him up to fucking talk about whatever”

That’s, really fucking confusing to Gareth. He looks towards the school and sees Jonathan and Nancy walk out with their brothers, “didn’t Nancy break up with Steve?”

Eddie let out a near hysterical laugh, a cigarette dangling from his mouth now, “She nearly fucking broke him, actually.”

“What?”

Eddie jumps into the drivers seat, pointing a finger to his passenger seat and he doesn’t need to be told twice. Once inside the van and Eddie starts it up, “Stevie told me that she blamed him for Barb’s death and his mom told me about how she found him sobbing about it. He said Nancy called him bullshit, that their whole relationship was bullshit.”

“Fuck dude”

He’ll never be able to look at Nancy the same, “and now she’s pushing you to what?”

Eddie scruffs and turns down his street, “Fuck, I don’t even know. She came up to me demanding to know if I knew why Stevie left school or where he is, then when I wouldn’t answer, tried saying I’m a bad influence”

He laughed, “I mean you are but not like that”

“Fuck you dude” he smiles and shakes his head, “I haven’t sold anything since I found about Ellie. Wayne pulled me aside after we told him, to tell me that I needed to stop- I mean, I already was thinking it.” He shrugs, “I don’t know why Nancy would think like that”

Gareth doesn’t either and he tells this to Eddie, the van comes to a stop in front of his home, “I don’t know either, she sounds like she’s a little obsessed with Steve.”

“I know and it’s weird, right?”

The Next Day

Eddie is woken up by Eleanor’s cry and he groans, he feels Steve stir next to him and he shushes him, “stay, I’ll grab her” he gets a hum in return and he sits up before dragging himself over to her crib.

She’s kicking her legs and wiggling trying to get out of the blanket, “hey baby” he whispers to catch her attention, she blinks up at him and whines.

Smiling, he lifts her up and rocks her, “come on, cranky.” He looks over and sees Steve smiling at him, it makes his heart beat a little faster.

Steve moves up a bit and pulls his shirt off, before he can even sit down next to him. Eleanor is no longer crying, thankfully, but Steve still makes grabby hands at him.

Laughing, he hands her over and then pulls the covers back over them before wrapping his arm around Steve. They sit in silence as Eleanor drinks and Steve drops his head onto his shoulder, “I guess it’s another long day”

Laughing softly he pressed a kiss to his head, “want me to stay home?”

“Maybe? She was so fussy yesterday, Eds.” He whispers, a hand patting her back, “even mom couldn’t get her to settle”

Later on Janet finds all three of them in bed asleep, Eleanor in Steve’s arms and Steve against Eddie. She shakes her head before going over and shaking Eddie, “Honey, don’t you have school today?”

He blinks back sleep and looks up to find her standing there, “nah, I’m skipping today. Gotta help Stevie”

She smiles, nodding before placing a kiss on their foreheads, “I’ll call the school, have one of your friends pick up your schoolwork later, okay?”

He nods and she smiles before walking out of the room and he looks down to find Steve still asleep with Eleanor snuggled against him. Sighing, he relaxes back down and decides they don’t need to get up anytime soon.

Steve is humming along to the mixtape Eddie put on to fill the kitchen as they make breakfast/lunch.

It’s currently noon and Eleanor is having tummy time in the living room with Eddie, while he’s busy making breakfast sandwiches. They slept in until nearly eleven and when they made their way downstairs, Steve found a note from his mom telling them she had several appointments today.

He can hear Eddie encouraging Eleanor to move around as he makes his way towards them with their food, when the doorbell rings. Confused, he sets the plates down and goes to the front door and through the peephole finds Nancy and Jonathan.

Even more confused and a little frustrated, he opens the door with, “Isn’t today a school day? Why are you guys here?”

They both look shocked to see him, which is weird since they’re the one’s knocking on his door.

“I’ve been trying to find you!” Nancy starts with and there’s her angry determination, “you’ve been locked up in your house?!”

Jonathan just looks uncomfortable.

Raising an eyebrow at her, he shakes his head, “uh, yes? I live here. Just because we don’t run into each other doesn’t mean I left town. Just my asshole father, now you should go back to school. Isn’t this your senior year?”

“Shouldn’t you be there with us?”

Rolling his eyes, he leans against the wall. Giving the impression of indifference, “I graduated earlier this year, through a different school. Not that it concerns you, I’ve told you before, Nancy. I’m not your boyfriend, and I’m definitely not your friend.” He then looks At Jonathan then back at her, “he’s your boyfriend, now leave me alone. Leave Eddie alone while you’re at it”

Nancy narrows her eyes at him and he can just barely smell the annoyance in the air from her scent, “So you are still friends with him? Is he the reason you dropped out? Why you won’t help with the upside down?”

“I have much more important things in life,” he thinks of carrying Eleanor for nine months, holding her and feeding her, thinks of being with Eddie and the alpha holding him like he’s the whole world, “like I said before, I was there to apologize. I stepped in when you needed help, but afterwards? We were told it was over. Will was found and is fine and safe. Shouldn’t you guys be over this?”

Neither person in front of him can give him an answer because he hears Eddie shout, “Oh Stevie! The little missy and I miss you!”

He sees the confusion on their faces and before they can ask, he slams the door in their faces. Which if he’s being honest, he should’ve done sooner. He locks the door and turns around to the ones that actually deserve his attention.

He knows, Nancy won’t give up though.

~

Yikes I completely forgot how I wrote Nancy in this 🫣 oops. Please know I DO love her but she’s just a stubborn person and can’t understand that Steve’s not involved and refuses to be involved.

I can’t believe I added plot to this lol anyway, we’ll get to more slice of life again 🥰

If you see any typos or mistakes, let me know!! Also if you have any ideas that you’d like to see, send me an ask or message! Same goes for if you want to be added to the tag list!

@spectrum-spectre @itsfreakingbats @mysticcrownshipper @artiststarme @thereindeerlady @justforthedead89 @ronniescontinuum @freyaforestafay @littlewildflowerkitten @zerokrox-blog @callme-keys @maya-custodios-dionach @rajumat @yellowdevilkitten @munsonfamilyband @steddierthings @tartarusfairy @mx-jinxous @zombiethingy @lunaticmarunatic @carlyv @thelittleclare @estrellami-1 @epiclazershark @bookworm0690 @forest-fogg @flustratedcas @p0lybl4nkk @tiny-enthusiast @a-gae-af-racoon @blackpanzy @marvelmwah @malicia62 @solliesolesito

[tobbesdiscordkitten]

do you know anything about the song Locomotive? who was it about? has Axl talked about it at all? i think i heard one time about how he wrote the lyrics “i bought me an illusion and i put it on the wall” and the next day he found the paintings for the Use Your Illusion covers, but i heard that secondhand and i only vaguely remember the story. (i’m so obsessed with that song it’s not even funny because It Is So Me)

Hello!

Unfortunately, there isn’t a lot of information regarding Locomotive, however, I did manage to find some interesting facts to answer your questions.

I was always under the impression Locomotive was about Erin Everly but it turns out that wasn’t the case. The song isn’t about anybody in particular, rather, it’s an ode to toxic and abusive relationships.

In his infamous 1992 Rolling Stone interview, Kim Neely asked Axl, “What about the songs that are perceived as misogynous? A lot of people see songs like Back Off Bitch and Locomotive as a reflection of your current views on women.” To which, he replied:

Yeah, and that's wrong. I can understand that, 'cause the records just came out. But Back Off Bitch is a ten-year-old song. I've been doing a lot of work and found out I've had a lot of hatred for women. Basically, I've been rejected by my mother since I was a baby. She's picked my step-father over me ever since he was around and watched me get beaten by him. She stood back most of the time. Unless it got too bad, and then she'd come and hold you afterward. She wasn't there for me. My grandmother had a problem with men. I've gone back and done the work and found out I overheard my grandma going off on men when I was four. And I've had problems with my own masculinity because of that. I was pissed off at my grandmother for her problem with men and how it made me feel about being a man. So I wrote about my feelings in the songs.

Axl has talked about Locomotive in recent years, mostly about the misconception behind who the writing credits belong to. Slash stated Locomotive was written in a house, rented in the Hollywood Hills, by him and Izzy, following the Appetite for Destruction tours. In 2008, Axl counteracted the statement and explained he was the one who wrote the lyrics.

Doug Goldstein, GNR’s manager, claimed, “Granted, I was with Slash and Duff when they were writing the music for Use Your Illusion, and Locomotive, and Coma - they were doing that shit without Axl's participation. But I'd get these phone calls from the studio, and Axl would say, 'I fucking hate Slash. Have you heard this song Locomotive yet? How the fuck am I supposed to write lyrics to this shit?' I'd go, 'Hey, man, I don't know. That's your gig, right? I do the management. You do the songwriting.’” So, it seems Slash takes credit for the instrumentals and guitar riff while Axl takes credit for the lyrical writing.

You’re right about the painting part, anon, except it was a week later when Axl saw the fresco. He felt that, with the lyrics and the painting, it was an omen to name the album Use Your Illusion. Locomotive was originally intended to be called Use Your Illusion but Axl didn’t want to have a song that bore the same title as the album.

(left) Raphael’s The School of Athens (1509-1511), (right) a section of the artwork that’s used on the Use Your Illusion album covers.

Locomotive is one of my favorite tracks from the second album, alongside Pretty Tied Up, Estranged, You Could Be Mine, Don’t Cry, and Civil War. I especially love the outro - love’s so strange.

[sapphic-agent]

Ranking MHA Arcs

Vs. Hero Killer Stain: A 9/10 arc. It had great tension, character development, character interaction, and villain. The friendship between Iida, Izuku, and Todoroki felt 10x more genuine than it ever did with Bakugou. The only thing I would change is maybe make Tensei not so virtuous. Maybe he made mistakes in the past or contributed to toxic hero society in some way. Perfect way to develop both Iida and Izuku

Shie Hassaikai: Again, just a great arc. Great villain and tension and love how the LOV are involved but aren't the current enemy. I love Mirio and his sacrifice for Eri was done perfectly, and him rejecting OFA made me love him even more. One of the only arcs where anyone cared about how Izuku was doing (love Iida and Todo forever). The only reason I'm putting it at #2 is Nighteye being a pretentious prick who pissed me off the whole time.

Battle Trial: One of the only arcs where Bakugou's actions aren't depicted as okay. Also calls out his behavior by making him lose because of it. Izuku's actions are recognized wholly, both what he did wrong and what he did right. Back when Momo was analytical and sharp. Also, evil Iida kills me every time. Just a pretty solid arc overall, good balance of tension and humor. There's only one thing I hate and it's that Izuku felt so guilty that he told Bakugou that he inherited his quirk

Meta Liberation: The only saving grace of season 5. The LOV was so well-written and Shigaraki's progression into a leader was so well done. I would have made it top three if it wasn't for Shigaraki's autonomy immediately being taken away by him wanting AFO. Kind of ruined the whole point of the arc

Entrance Exam: I had to make it top 5. It perfectly captures what made early MHA so great. It's so inspirational to everyone whose dreams have ever been discouraged. Some things could have been handled better which is why it isn't higher, but in general I love it

Sports Festival: I've talked about what I do and don't like about the Sports Festival before. There were a lot of good and bad things about it. Uraraka and Todoroki had great development, Izuku's and Tokoyamk's were okay, and Momo's was terrible. But what really keeps it out of the top 5 is the Bakugou pandering. It's the first arc that really starts to do this and it really ruins what could have been a really good arc

Hideout Raid: Again, the only reason this isn't higher is because it's so centered around Bakugou. If it wasn't just an arc pandering to him and his "development," it'd be a lot better. But I'm putting it at 7 because of the awesome fight between All Might and AFO. Easily one of the best in the series. And how that saved Bakugou was pretty damn cool ngl

UA School Festival: Gentle Criminal is tied for my favorite MHA villain with Stain. Not only is he relatable as fuck, his quirk is so unique. He was just so enjoyable. The festival was cute, though I felt as though this arc could have focused more on Eri's trauma. It's great that the festival was something for her to look forward to, but there could have been more done here. Also, Aizawa blaming his students for the other students being resentful and making them take accountability. Also, Bakugou being good at the drums for no reason

Paranormal Liberation War: As far as major arcs this one is okay. I feel like some parts of it were too drawn out, but it wasn't terrible. I liked Dabi exposing Endeavor, and Mirko chasing down Garaki like a bat out of hell was funny. Hawks' fight with Twice was also very impactful. BUT it also felt like a lot of the pros were useless. Like, Mount Lady struggling so much with Gigantomachia felt odd. She should have been more effective imo. I also wasn't a fan of how Midnight died in the manga, that felt unnecessarily brutal

USJ: This arc does a great job of introducing Shigaraki... And not much else. Like, I don't think it's bad at all, but it was a little boring. It does get points though for Tsu casually drowning Mineta, little moments like this make it watchable

Quirk Apprehension Test: The only reason this arc isn't lower is because of Izuku proving that he belongs at UA as much as anyone else. That was a great moment for him. But the QAT is quirkist and honestly just mean-spirited. Why would you humiliate a student in front of their classmates like that? Not to mention that Aizawa was blatantly singling him out with it. Just the beginning of Aizawa being a bad teacher

Provisional Hero License Exam: I struggled where to put this arc. Because honestly? It was good for the most part. I liked seeing how the kids each handled their tasks and opponents. Bakugou failed (I know I've said that this is undercut by Todo failing too, but it's still satisfying) and it really got into the nuances of rescue work. I liked it... Until Deku vs Kacchan Part 2. This fight ruins the entire arc for me. Bakugou fails because he couldn't stop being a dick for 2 seconds and decides he's allowed to take it out on Izuku? Then he trauma dumps on him while playing victim. And then coerces him into a fight. And then is rewarded from throwing this temper tantrum by being given what he wants (knowing about OFA). This was the arc where my feelings towards the series really soured. I really debated putting it at the bottom, but I didn't want to dismiss the good things about it so easily

Forest Training Camp: Only good thing about this arc was Izuku's fight with Muscular and his relationship with Kota. But after that it's Bakugou making bad decisions and everyone else having to suffer for them. I do appreciate Kota slapping Mineta though

Dark Hero: Just... So much potential. But it feels like we never really go below the surface with Izuku. This is supposed to be his arc and it barely focused on who he is. He should have spoken with the vestiges more. Also, while I can understand where they were coming from, 1A ambushing and then antagonizing him was terrible and Bakugou's bum ass apology was even worse. The only reason it isn't lower is because of my unhinged love for Lady Nagant. She's one of the best written characters in the series and I adore her. Unfortunately, it feels like Hori doesn't allow her to influence the overall story

Pro Hero: So this one is just... Weird. I mean, I don't think I hate it? The fight was pretty cool. I love seeing Hawks' quirk in action because his use of it is so creative. I don't like him and Rei being used to prop Endeavor's development though. I just don't think this arc was that good

Joint Training: So I mentioned this in a reply somewhere, but Bakugou's flawless win felt so unearned. He hasn't put any work into getting along with others and working with a team (all the "progress" he made was others- Izuku- doing the work for him). The fact that he didn't so much as struggle like everyone else was just bad writing. Momo losing even though she did put in the work to learn to strategize better and cover her bases just felt like a slap in the face to her character. Every time it feels like Hori wants to do right by her character, he ends up making it worse but had no problem propping Bakugou up every five minutes. I liked Uraraka being the unsung star of this arc, Monoma's team underestimating her and then living to regret it was nice. It's one of the only times the progress she's made as a hero is ever acknowledged. This arc didn't do a good job of making me care about Shinsou though, no substance to his character. Monoma was pretty entertaining

Endeavor Agency: Boring ass arc. It wasn't funny or entertaining and had zero character development for our main characters. Natsuo is antagonized for calling out Endeavor and poor Fuyumi gets yelled at by Bakugou in her own home for sharing her feelings. And then Izuku's bs "i tHiNk YOurE geTtINg REaDy tO fOrGiVE hiM." Like I love him but wtf is that line? Hori trying to force Endeavor's redemption down our throats

Final Exams: This arc is all kinds of bullshit. Sero takes a hit for Mineta and is incapacitated and fails. Yet Bakugou is continuously uncooperative, attacks him teammate, and is also incapacitated and passes? Not to mention it's all on Izuku to be the one to teach him how to work with others when that's supposed to be Aizawa's job. Every other match was also useless. The only one that has real development and interaction was Tododoki and Momo. Todo gets humbled and learns to stop acting above his classmates (even if he didn't do this with the intent of being harmful, he still did it) and Momo gets more confidence and agency. But no one else really learned anything or improved. This arc just proves how bad a teacher Aizawa is tbh

Remedial Course: I feel like this arc is evidence that Bakugou would suck as the main character. I was bored to tears during the entire thing. It felt like forced Bakugou and Todoroki interaction first of all. And truth be told I didn't know that kid was supposed to be mini Bakugou, I thought he was representative of Monoma. He was nowhere as bad as Bakugou was as a kid and felt a lot more chill. Also looked more like Monoma. Idk if this is how Hori wants us to see kid Bakugou or what but we know this isn't how he was. And then Bakugou gives him this whole lecture only to turn around the next arc and still treat Izuku like shit. Fucking hypocrite. Camie telling him to shut up was the only good thing about this arc (stan Camie)

And that's the list! I'm only doing these arcs because they're the only ones I've read/watched completely. I don't want to make judgements about the next three arcs without fully knowing what I'm talking about. Though the leaks for the Final War don't bode well for its ranking.

So what do we think? Agree? Disagree? Let me know!

[lynaferns]

I wish my teachers from back then in school didn't take too much into account the age rating of books and choosed books for the class to read based on the kids interests in said class.

I'm not saying to read mature rated books to kindergarten kids. I mean in highschool or even primary school, taking more into account what could be a read good enough to make the kids want to start reading by themselves. Don't choose a book base only if it's age appropriate and if you liked the title, but about the story. I know the books the teachers course are actually from an approved list by the school, but those books are always shit.

I don't like reading, I've hated or gotten bored of every book a teacher has made me read. Fantasy, mystery, slice of life, hated them all.

The worst was when the book was in basque (hi, I'm from Basque country, it's in Spain, in case you didn't know I'm from there, now you know), those books- listen, there is a whole thing going on with the current basque that is talked here, with the thing of being an artificial amalgamation of what was the OG language. We don't have a nice catalogue of basque books to read... specially because they are all recently written, and I mean this century. The basque authors have to start somewhere, but that's all we have.

(something something people being haunted decades ago for talking basque, parents not teaching the language to their kids to protect them, losing the language, trying to bring it back by ripping out words from Spanish and the little they could save from the lost one, something something, and now there are only a few villages that can talk the original basque and can't understand shit from the new basque and that's fucking sad because the new one is so clumsy and awkward and the old one was so much pretty but anyways this could have been its own post)

This stupid book, I remember crying because I didn't want to read that book. It was so bad, so fucking boring but had to do a resume of the whole book and I only had a chapter left and I was pulling at my hair because I couldn't bring myself to read it. It wasn't even a long book, in fact, one of the shortest I've read in my life. Must have been less than 100 pages around 10 short chapters, BIG FONT FOR KIDS. I hated it with all my soul and I made sure to express that in my resume. You have no idea of how relieved I was that it was over and that my brother and mother didn't have to convince me anymore to read it.

A few years ago my brother tried to get me into Terry Pratchett's books but I got bored fast. I had people around me try to recommend books to read. Any time someone started talking to me about a book they've read my brain would shut down and I would be just like "yeah cool 🙂(<-trying really hard to fake having interest)".

Once I tried to find ways to get me into reading the books assigned from school, like 30 minutes read a day. I would put timers in my phone and try not to look at the clock. When my father found out he got really mad at me and scolded me for some reason I to this day still don't understand. My mother wasn't mad but she told me that if I had to read a number of chapters assigned, I had to read those chapters. And I dropped the book. Completely. I didn't submit the resume we had to do at the end of the year.

The concept of picking a book to read and actually reading it... I can't do that. The times I tried to read a book because someone really wanted me to read it, my brain has just stopped a few pages in, like "yeah no, this isn't happening buddy, we are not reading today."

One day suddenly, I started reading. A lecture that caught me enough to read the first 4 chapters in a row. Another time I read the equivalent of 4 books in a week. And suddenly it's not as hard as before to pick up something from the list to read and know that I'm going to read it later. It was a fanfic who made me think "Oh shit! Wait! Reading is fun!?!?!?!"

But I'm only reading because I'm familiar with the characters that are in the fic, and I want to see more stories about that specific character.

I can start watching a show, a gameplay, pick up a fanfic... I can't pick up a book and read it without losing interest.

[juanabaloo]

20 questions for fic writers!!

thanks to @coraniaid for the tag!

(1) How many works do you have on AO3?

21 works on AO3, all fics (+ 1 work about HTML code tips)

(2) What's your total AO3 word count?

195,661 word count (for those 21 works, not counting the HTML work)

(3) What fandoms do you write for?

I exclusively write for Buffy the Vampire Slayer!

(4) What are your top five fics by kudos?

All but the last one are part of my all human / no powers AU series where Faith and Buffy meet post grad school, but these fics are in their "established relationship" era.

My top 5 fics by kudos:

I don't care about the presents: E-rated long multi-chapter about Christmas in Sunnydale where Buffy brings her girlfriend Faith home to meet her Mom. There's a lot of feelings and processing and also lots of E-rated fun. (A little in ch. 5 and then a ton in ch. 8 and 10)

Game of Tag: E-rated well established Fuffy, with 4 short chapters.

Cool Granite Countertop: E-rated short one-shot.

I can see you with my T-shirt on: a WIP! E-rated Fuffy on a vacation trip. This is my current posted WIP. 2 of 4 chapters are posted, but does NOT end on a cliffhanger. I do plan to finish this.

Praise Her Blindingly Scrumptious Luminescence: (the only one of the 5 not part of the AU series) Canon divergent T-rated long slow burn one-shot. Faith awakens from her coma in Season 5 and ends up helping Buffy fight Glory. Nothing bad happens to Joyce. Featuring The Mayor (who survived S3) and several Bring It On characters.

(5) Do you respond to comments?

Yes I respond to comments although sometimes slower than I would like. I ADORE comments, they give me life.

(6) What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

The ending is hopeful but my angstiest fic (so far) is facing sorrow with Faith. Please do mind the tags. It is E-rated, but not really smut. (There's a little but it's VERY brief.) It's about Faith dealing with some of her past trauma, it means a lot to me.

(7) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Almost everything else I write has a very happy ending, whether they are blissed out post bedroom fun (E rated), or smiley happy sugary good (G and T rated). There's some angst in I don't care about the presents but I consider it mild, and it has a happy ending.

(8) Do you get hate on fics?

Nope! Probably means I need to be writing less boring stuff, haha. Or just more unconventional stuff. But also fuck the haters.

(9) Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes. I mostly write E-rated F/F smut but I've dabbled in F/F/M and F/M. (Only one fic with the dabbling is posted, but I'm working on more, including a sequel / fill-in.) Also typically what I write is older-than-canon Fuffy. (gif inspo one and inspo two) I try to write PWP but often feelings get involved. For example, if a scene includes a smutty milestone, then sometimes that MEANS something, and feelings intrude.

(10) Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I rarely write crossovers. Praise Her... (from 4 above) includes several Bring It On characters, but they are in Sunnydale in the Buffyverse. (So that's not tagged a crossover.) I did write a T-rated Seinfeld crossover (My summer vacation in NYC) where pre-teen Faith visits her aunt Elaine, so it's Faith in NYC in the Seinfeld universe. (Although she only interacts with Elaine, not the other characters.)

Neither of those are especially "crazy." I have a rough idea for a weird crossover fic... imagine Bring It On but with elements of Fight Club. Which means: Cliff and Missy are actually both just Missy. Torrance imagines Cliff sometimes, because she's very deeply repressing her attraction to Missy. (Except since I prefer Fuffy over Missy x Torrance I would probably soften Buffy into Torrance, or sharpen Torrance into Buffy.) So Fuffy but no powers AU and they're in the Bring It On world and Faith is both Cliff and Missy.

(I don't think we ever see anyone but Torrance acknowledge both Cliff and Missy as 2 separate people, which is what sparked this idea. Like usually when Cliff and Missy are in the same shot they are alone with each other or talking to Torrance.)

BUT I don't have any idea when this will get written. So if any readers want to take this idea and run with it, feel free! (Maintaining the manic hyper cheerleader campy vibe of Bring It On feels like the trickiest part of this, for version in my head.)

(11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

(12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope but I have a blanket permission statement in my AO3 profile that includes translations.

(13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I think it could be fun.

(14) What's your all time favorite ship?

Buffy x Faith aka Fuffy.

(15) What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I plan to finish all my WIPs. There is only one posted WIP too, so I technically only have one to finish, that y'all know of! (*evil laugh*) I might decide to cut some short, so instead of writing a multi years long version, better to just chop it into one season. Praise Her... was originally way longer in the outline, but I'm glad I shortened it.

(16) What are your writing strengths?

Writing fics in a series out of order, which I'm treating as a strength. Working in canon dialogue but in a remixed way. (I have a no powers/no vamps AU drafted fic that works in something very close to the famous "tell me staking a vamp doesn't get you a little bit juiced" line. Cracks me up every time.)

(17) What are your writing weaknesses?

Lots of things I want to get better at! Titles for sure. Getting better at discarding ideas I am in love with. Also, I dislike having to describe what people look like. I will gladly use a famous character from another fandom (any fandom) just to avoid having to describe them. In several fics I pair up Tara with Letty Ortiz from the Fast and Furious franchise. Although I think I just call her Letty and don't describe her, so it was all in my head oops.

(18) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I can probably swing it in Spanish, for short exchanges. I can definitely do it for a "Fuffy in a situation where they need to speak Spanish but it's sort of broken" scenario. (In my head - Faith speaks it OK, she's not fluent but she understands it and people can understand her. Buffy really struggles with it though.)

(19) First fandom you wrote for?

Same, Buffy the Vampire Slayer! I think I wrote maybe half a story in middle school with my friends, some mean RPF, and then I put fanfic writing in a box and forgot about it. Trying to make up for lost time now I guess.

(20) Favorite fic you've written?

It really depends on my mood. (ahem) I'm proud of my fics but don't want to get into smut talk here. For non smut I'll say a tie between Praise Her... and facing sorrow with Faith. (Again mind the tags on the latter.)

Thanks again for the ask!

No pressure tagging:

@beatriceeverytuesday-old @hersterical @thenewbuzwuzz @rahirah @fictiongods

@blazinwolve @andremichaux @charmedslayer @doggirlbuffysummers @chasingfictions

@veronyxk84 @fancyflautist @explosionshark @shittinggold @whatisyourchildhoodtrauma

(apologies if you don't write fic or someone else already tagged you)

anybody else, feel free to tag yourself in too!

[zalia]

Getting to Know Your Moots

Tagged by @makoredeyes

•What's the origin of your blogs title?

Zalia is a name I have been using since like... 2000? It was a misspelling of the name of a very minor character in an obscure Australian sci-fi/fantasy book series XD Hitsuzen is... well, I like CLAMP manga and was reading XXXHolic at the same and had no better ideas. "Nothing in this world is a coincidence. Everything is Hitsuzen." It means inevitability/destiny/fate - A state in which all other outcomes are impossible.

•Favorite fandoms

Currently I am deep in Destiny fandom! You... might have noticed. Previous fandoms include The Magnus Archives, Rusty Quill Gaming, Red vs Blue, Zombies, Run!, and all the way back to Gundam Wing when I was in high school XD I've dabbled with other things over the years but these are some of the main ones.

•OTPs+Ship name

I have always been a multi-shipper. I tend to pick one character I love and they become my little black dress - goes with everything XD In Destiny fandom, that character is Osiris (I know you are shocked). I love Saint/Osiris (obviously) which is known as O14. I also love Shaxx/Saint/Osiris, Felwinter/Osiris, and have a soft spot in my heart for Drifter/Osiris messy early days at the Iron Temple fling. I am also just very invested in the Greater Last City Polycule.

•Favourite colours Purple! My bedroom is various shades of purple and I love it!

•Favourite game

Presently Destiny 2 and/or ARK Evolution Evolved

•Weirdest habit/trait

Uh... I don't know, I'm boring. Currently breaking into places I should not be in Destiny? (This is not a 'in Minecraft' joke, this is genuinely me fucking around in the game).

•Hobbies

Writing, playing video games, sometimes making games, going Out of Bounds in Destiny, walking.

•Something you're good at

My job. I'm a damn good panel moderator when I do conventions. I'm a good public speaker (10+ years of drama clssses will do that for you - one of the most valuable things I have ever done because it means I don't get stage fright, can sight read, and can project my voice well). I'm pretty decent at baking and decorating cakes!

•Something you're bad at

Adulting generally. Meal boxes are a godsend otherwise I would just live on plain pasta out of lack of ideas and interest.

Sparrow flying in D2 (I need more practice – I struggle to go up). It's been years since I studied Geology but I was incapable of measuring strike and dip of rocks using a compass. It just did not click in my head.

•Something you excel at

Writing! I have a Creative Writing MA and got selected for Viable Paradise which is a fairly competitive and respected sci-fi/fantasy writing workshop. I feel a bit guilty that I haven't really done anything to work towards getting published, but also the publishing industry is kind of a tyre fire, and I spent so many years struggling with ADHD making writing like pulling teeth that since I got medicated I've genuinely just been riding the wave of writing an insane amount of Destiny fanfic and having fun with it! I've had writing be approved without changes by someone who is insanely high up in Disney/Marvel and their approvals are *tough*, which I am gonna be proud of!

•Something you love

ADHD medication. Sleep. Writing and reading. My dog. My friends.

•Something you could talk about for hours without off the cuff

Destiny, lol. Hell I could ramble for hours about Osiris alone (and have! Many thanks to friends who have allowed me XD). Fandom and fandom history. Worldcon drama (god, the next business meeting is gonna be interesting... again, as will site selection).

•Something you hate

Gonna echo Mako here with 'fucking Nazis' and just gesture wildly at politics in general. And on a lighter note, not exactly hate, but I have strong feelings about the Destiny 'community' and the concept of 'loremasters' and 'content creators' and how it favours the shallowest readings of the text with the barest scraps of analysis. Actually I really fucking hate the term 'content creators'.

•Something you collect

Destiny merch recently – I have a lot of the rewards pins. I have a pretty hefty doujinshi collection from my anime days (a lot of it is packed into boxes that I need to get around to selling/giving away because it is taking up space). Like the rest of my family, I collect books. It is a problem. Between everyone in the house we have several thousand books which is probably more than the locak village library.

•Something you forget

Whether I have taken my ADHD medication or not – this usually happens about 5 seconds after I have taken my medication.

•What's your love language

IDK, writing smutty fic for people? I do genuinely like writing snippets of fic when bouncing ideas around with people. It's fun!

•Favorite movie/show

It has been so long since I watched anything uh... Babylon 5 is always gonna be a favourite TV series. Also Leverage. For movies - Lord of the Rings, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Labyrinth, Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

•Favorite food

Really good quality chocolate.

•Favorite animal

Dogs and wolves.

•Favorite subject in school

My geology classes in high school were my favourites because we had an amazing teacher! In terms of subject though... IDK... :|a It's been a long time.

•Least favourite subject

P.E.

•What's your best character trait?

I'm pretty laid back and open-minded, I guess?

•If you could change any detail of your day right now, what would it be?

More of an attention span generally! I could always use more focus. Or maybe fix these goddam tooth problems :|

•If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet?

I dunno. There's a few people I want to go back in time to push off a cliff though.

•Recommend one of your favorite fanfics

Ooooooh... A Place in the Choir - This is a Yuletide fic which has somehow stuck with me for over 10 years despite me having read it like... twice. It is a dark fantasy story based on The Fox by Ylvis. It is *fantastic*. Isochronism by @makoredeyes - absolutely heartbreakingly painful. Perfect use of a timeloop to inflict agony on Felwinter and just... it's such a gutpunch and masterfully delivered! A Memory of Ice by @gileonnen - Gil manages to say so much in so few words and I will lap it up. The implications here, the depth of emotion and intention from Osiris and Saint and gah... Wonderful!

Four Seasons Total Landscaping by @icescrabblerjerky - Zolf Smith runs a funeral parlour, Oscar Wilde runs a sex shop next door. A new neighbour moves in opening a landscaping service. The new neighbour is a smoky little beefcake XD

[oscar-isaacx]

Get to know your moots

Thanks for the tag @virtie333 💕

What's the origin of your blog title? Well, I created this blog for my oscar isaac hyper fixation so it's pretty self explanatory really 🤭

OTP(s) + Shipname: I don't think I really have one tbh. I'll have to think about it. (Sorry for the boring answer)

Favourite colour: I love purple 💜

Favourite game: ok so my favourite game is probably something like animal crossing or Pokémon but my favourite board game is probably cluedo or trivial pursuit (I love anything that involves trivia)

Song stuck in your head: The song that is stuck in my head right now is Ya Hey by Vampire Weekend

Weirdest habit/trait? Dude, how long have you got? I have ocd & I'm autistic. "Weird habits" are my forte. One I do a lot is I rock back & forth.

Hobbies: I love reading (books not just fics lol I also read many at a time. I'm currently reading four at the minute) listening to music, cooking, playing board games.

If you work, what's your profession? Retail. I hate it. It's literally everything I hate combined into a job.

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be? I guess another way of phrasing this would be my "dream job" and I would definitely say that it would have to be something with animals.

Something you're good at: man, with my self esteem issues this is like the toughest question ever. Because I don't feel like I'm good at anything really. I'm good at existing I guess.

Something you're bad at: so many things.

Something you love: I love my family, my friends, animals, nature, the ocean (I wish I could live in there) forests (anywhere with lots of trees)

Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: Again, I'm autistic so this is like something I do often with loved ones (and wreck their head) I have so many hyper fixations that if I am comfortable with someone, will just yap and yap about. Anything oscar related is definitely one, another is animals, another one is trains (stereotypical I know) there's just so many.

Something you hate: I really hate it when people treat me like I'm an idiot or like I'm a child (or happens more than you'd think)

Something you collect: I collect perfumes & scents & funko pops.

Something you forget: a lot because my memory is dogshit.

What's your love language? See my neurodivergent brain needs specificity in this question because are you talking about how I show love? or how do I need love to be shown to me?

Favourite movie/show: fuck this is a difficult one because I love so many. I'll pick one just for this but know that I love so many more. For movie imma go Forrest Gump for show imma say breaking bad.

Favourite food: is probably pasta.

Favourite animal: literally can't choose I love them all. 💕

What were you like as a child? Really quiet, really anxious. Wouldn't even know I was there.

Favourite subject at school? English was always a favourite, so was biology, so was history.

Least favourite subject: maths.

What's your best character trait? That if I like & trust you, I'll literally do anything to help you if you need it.

What's your worst character trait? I often self isolate, especially if I need help.

If you could change any detail of your day right now what would it be? That it didn't storm so we didn't have to wait a day and a half for the electricity to come back on.

If you could travel in time who would you like to meet? Freddie Mercury.

Recommend one of your favourite fanfics (spread the love!): oh wow, there's just so many that I love, so many talented people but the first one that comes to mind is one called you're safe with me by @alwaysmicado I know no everyone is into the sub! Steven grant stuff but it is literally one of my all time favourites & I always go back to it every now &then. 💗

So I'm gonna tag @devilrebirth @mandytrekkie @for-a-longlongtime @louboupp

(only if you want to, there absolutely no pressure 😊)

And whoever else wants to 😊

[toxic-potions-productions]

Wake up! It's 'da first 'a the month year!

Hello, everyone! If this is your first time stopping by, then welcome! Please leave your shoes at the door If you're already following or have been a long-time follower, then Happy new year!

Anyways, to all the newbies, hi! My name is Toxic, or you can call me Z if you want. Welcome to my Tumblr! I will leave this pinned for the rest of January, so everyone can read this if they want

Please read the entire thing if you weren't able to read my blog description (Any & all headers seen in this post ALL go to their respective creators, I just wanna jazz up this post a little)

A few things about the person behind the blog!

I am 21 years of age, who's currently building a resistance to alcohol. The only thing I'm liking so far is Simply spiked peach, even though that's piss weak with alcohol. I just like it cuz it's peach ^^"

I'm Lesbian, who might also be Demisexual. It would make sense if I was, but Lesbian is the most concrete one for my sexuality

To those that don't wanna assume my gender & also don't know what I identify as, feel free to use They/Them! I don't mind But, my pronouns are, in fact, She/Her. I just don't mind They's as a grey area. As long as you don't use He/Him, then I honestly don't care what you wanna address me as

I mostly dress in darker colors since that's more my style, & I also wear pants alot, as well as long sleeve shirts or t-shirts, & baggy clothes like oversized hoodies & such. No, I'm not insecure of my body, or myself as a whole, I just love wearing clothes like that since they're super comfortable & are just very me (& I'm also just too lazy to shave my legs LMFAO)

Despite that, my taste in everything is all over the place. I listen to a cluster of different genres, dress in alot of different styles (Except for skirts, cuz gross), so I'm a bit inconsistent with it. But, you will see me in pants, sneakers, boots, & just overall darker colors the most

I got a pretty bad potty mouth, so sorry in advance for how much I swear in these posts =w='

My favorite colors are Purple, Black, & Red (In that order), & OGs will know my Teal phase. Ohh, boy........

I have a big appetite (My nickname in my house is "The bottomless pit", to anyone that cares), so I'll eat basically anything. Potatoes, Hot dogs, burgers, onion rings, you name it. But, my FAVORITE of all time is a good old plate of spaghetti & meatballs. I tear it up every single time, & it always slaps 😩👌 However, I have major beef with cauliflower. I fucking hate cauliflower so much My preference is all three things (Sweet, spicy, savory, things like that), but I love spicy food the most

I was born & raised in Monroe, Michigan (Yes, it's just as boring out here as you think-), but I'm of Irish, Scottish (& a little Dutch & Polish) ethnicity. I wanna go there so badlyyyyyyyy TwT I can only understand & speak English, so sorry to any foreigners that wanna follow me. I tried to learn a second language before, but I gave up after struggling with Norwegian for years. Not my best moment. I DO know a tiny bit of Irish, but that's only greetings, so IDK if that counts

I draw, I play games sometimes, & I do Gacha stuff when I'm way too lazy to draw. The mod I use the most is Gacha Nebula, but I do test out other ones occasionally just for the fun of it. If anyone has Gacha mods you think I would like, hit me up I'm old-school, so the drawing program I use for my art is MS paint. I also edit them with Pixlr E & FireAlpaca when the file is too big I miiiiiight post an occasional cover, but I wouldn't get excited over that. I'm not much of a singer, & I sound pretty shitty, so that will be very rarely you hear me sing. I'm pretty sure I'm a little tone deaf, anyway, so there's that. Sorry ^^"

I have alot of favorite movies, some animated some not. Like Aladdin (The animated one), Hunchback of Notre Dame, The Nightmare before Christmas, things like that. But, my absolute favorite one is Sleepy Hollow (1999). I've rewatched that movie, like, ten times by now

& last but not least, I was born on October 26, 2003 (so a Sunday to anyone that was keeping track). Which makes me a proud Scorpio ♏

What is this blog about, you ask?

Well, it's basically just a clusterfuck of anything I like. Demon slayer, Hazbin hotel, Homicipher, Helluva boss, Undertale, TADC, BATIM, Sally Face, literally anything I think is cool But, this blog mostly centers around Demon slayer, as well as my oc's from both the anime & just ones out in the open for the fun of it. Like, the incubi boys, for example! Go check out the #the incubi boys tag to see three of my favorite oc's I've created

I do have a few au's of different media, like my revamped Undertale au "ElementTale", & my KNY au "Sun breathing prodigy", but other than that, it's mostly my oc's in the mostly canon world Somethings in said stories deal with some pretty dark topics, so please be warned if you're sensitive to that

Fair warning, my blog is very 18+, as well as all of my other blogs, so have your actual age in your description or else you will be blocked. I check every single blog that follows me, so don't lie about your age just to follow me. That applies to the rest of my blogs I've made before. I also don't allow homophobia, racism, TERFs, pedophiles, pornbots, negativity, self promotion, scams, hate blogs, MAPs, politics, or anything else I might've missed. This blog is to get away from that, not to consume more of it You will also never know my views on things like presidency or anything involving the Government since it's not my place to share it online to strangers. However, my advice to give would be to simply do your own research on it instead of believing anything you see. I've said that before & I'll say it forever

My posts might include some of those for backstories & such, but that's the only time you'll see them. & I know minors are gonna follow me, anyway, but if they do, don't interact with any of my content with any of the mature labels on them

However, don't follow me if you're not going to interact with me. I want followers that like my posts & not just stick around just to follow me. That's been a bit of an issue, so please keep that in mind. Massive props to the ones that do, you guys rock

For some honorable mentions:

I'm doing alot of things with my mutuals/friends here on Tumblr, so please go check out their blogs, as well! These two are the goats 🙏🏻

@dorkycreature-89 I'm helping him with their little story on AO3 involving some old characters from our old FNW39 timelines (Who remembers that era?), so go check him out & tell him I sent you!

@happilylazycreator She's been around since the Amino days, & now that we've both left that platform, she's honestly been a personal rock to me. She doesn't post alot that isn't reblogs, so if you could go boost her posts & give her some encouragement for me, that would be great <3

Where else on Tumblr & my other Social medias can you find me?

I have a bunch of other blogs as well as other Social medias that you can find, but here's my blogs first:

You're already on my main!

@scribbles-i-call-art It started off as an art reblog thing, but now it's basically a place to organize my art & help people find them easier

@luxurious-anger This is an Obey me OC RP blog that I made out of impulse since I thought it was fun. I don't know much about Obey me, but I'm enjoying the blog so far, so that counts as something, I think

& any other social medias I have can all be found on my Linktree ↓

& that's it! Personal note here, I wanna thank you all for sticking around as long as you did despite how inconsistent this blog is. Anything you mention me in, like fanart or whatever, it always makes me happy to see what you guys can do. Thank you very much for your support, & thank you to anyone who stopped by & followed me. Happy 2025!

[thefemcelthatdeservesbetter]

I like adult men

I think adults are the only people that seem remotely interested in me. I think it's kind of pathetic but it's better than nothing. It doesn't bother me because men are usually really sweet to me. However I think I'm too stupid for them. When I first talked with one, I was hesitant and I refused dating him despite how kind he was. I should've said yes. I've only talked to a few so far, but it's too bad i get blocked only because I answered late. It wasn't my fault, it was exam week for me. Maybe I should've acted more interested. When I chat with them, I'm always a little nervous, I'm not really bold. So when we stop talking, I regret many things. I think about all the things I could've said, all the things we could've talked about.

Sometimes I feel almost like a whore for liking the attention. But now that I think about it I think it's justified, all the other girls have attention from boys and girls their age, which I don't. So it's only fair, no? I don't see why I'd be called a whore only because they happen to be luckier than me. Actually,no, it is unfair. I should be getting way more than that. Everyone's having fun but me. It's summer, I should be having fun. When I tell my sisters that, they tell me I should hang out with my friends. I don't have friends. I only have one and she's in the countryside right now. Someone sent me a text message saying "born to rot in bed, forced to go to the beach". Shouldn't they be grateful? What's the hype with rotting in bed? I hate it. Even if I don't go out, I like walking around the house so I don't get too stiff.

I want to go to the beach too. It's been years since I haven't bought a swimsuit. I'll ask my mom if we could buy one.

I'm jealous of them. Other girls, I mean. They look very good in swimsuits. I look like a stick. I need to gain weight. I'm currently underweight, I want to gain 5 or more kilos. Perhaps it can also increase my bust size. It's UNFAIR!!!!! This world is so unfair. I think girls with large assets are whores. I hate them!!!

I shouldn't be living like this, what is wrong with me !!!!!! I don't understand what other kids have that I don't, why do they get friends so easily and so quickly. I don't understand why they stick together while I get abandoned every time I try trusting someone.

I'm bored

I have nothing to do

When I think about it I barely talk to my best friend too. I like her very much! Really. But I can't help but feel jealous of her. She's really pretty, really cool. I don't even know why she's friend with me. Every time she comes to see me after school, people that don't even know her say hi to her or compliment her. That boy "friend" I have that I got mad at texts her a lot, at some point he even had a crush on her. She has so many friends, and I know I'm not the one she likes the most, but I have to be grateful she even considers me her friend. She's younger than me too! She had so many boyfriends, so many friends. I know she struggles a lot, has issues with her parents and mental disorders but it doesn't matter. Because boys don't care about it at all. As long as her face is pretty and her body curvy, the rest is futile, they can "endure" or ignore it.

I don't understand how people's mind work at all, they're weird as fuck. Or maybe I'm just retarded. It's sort of pathetic

I wish I could be different

I wish I wasn't real, I wish the world could be blind

Sometimes people online think I'm cool, rarely, but they still do.

My two "friends" at school tell me I'm "worldwide" because I've interacted with people from overseas online. I think they mean that I'm a player or something. It's so wrong. Are they stupid? They only say that because that's all I talk about. Because other than the internet, I have no life. And most of those interactions didn't last long. Even online, people get bored of me. While I've seen one of those two boys has thousands of girls in his DMS that he barely talks of. Unlike him I don't try to flirt with anyone I know.

I'm so bored.

I hate everyone that's having fun right now. I hate women. I hate popular boys. I hate older teens. I hate teens. I hate babies. I hate boys' standards. I hate social butterflies. I hate my school. I hate my classmates. I hate even myself. I hate my dad. I hate summer. I hate seeing people smile. I hate female manipulators. I hate whores. I hate uhh to be bored. I hate everything. I hate how unfair life is. I hope I wake up tomorrow to see that everyone has disappeared!!!!

[sad-leon]

Hello! I hope you're having a good day!

So many people in my life seem to be going through something right now, and I just wanted to give you an opportunity to share anything you might be going through. Good or bad, as specific or as vague as you're comfortable with. Or feel free to ignore if you'd rather not. No pressure at all!

I hope things are going well for you! But if not, I'll be sending prayers your way if you're comfortable with that!

I am... not.

and i haven't for a long time

I'll preface this entire post with a warning: THIS IS A VENT POST the only tags will be trigger warnings

I thinks i've said it once or twice, but I started school this year. This is my first year in college after taking a gap year and also telling everyon i wasnt gonna go. I know jack shit about what im doing and its fucking exhausting. Theres so many things that i feel like I should know but dont because all the college information given out in my highschool was geared toward the college in that town specifically, which is not the college im going to.

I've also moved. im entirely on my own, physically and financially. I just met with my job and am starting very soon which is not good because my sleep schedule is all wrong. I may be switching jobs soon, but i can't just quit becuase, like i said, im on my own.

and those are only the big two. lets speedrun this. my anxiety, my autism, i need new glasses, my feet hurt more than i think they should, im a system, my eating disorder, my aversions that make it hard to drink the water up here, the burnout, the exhaustion, executive dysfunction, i also likely have adhd which mean rsd. im touch starved and touch adverse

those are just what i can think of off the top of my head

but all of this had been leading to what might be a pretty nasty breakdown and soon.

im so fucking tired all the time and that makes it hard to draw, but thats one of my only ways to relax. i like playing mc, but i get bored easily and also i cant sit at my desk for long becuase it feels like my head is too heavy for my neck. it hurts. everything hurts and my job doesnt help me at fucking all.

i was able to draw tsob while dealing with most of my issues becuase all i had to worry about was work. looking at my current schedule, i can find the free time. the issue is using that freetime to draw and not just sleep or dissociate. finding home is very dear to me, but drawing it the way i am can be exhausting and i dont want to start hating it, so i just.. dont draw it most days

i stress constantly about how i appear on my blog becuase i want so badly to do this right. i want to be good at something, like, as a person, not just as an artist. but i hate myself too much to believe in any progress i make.

i know its the rsd mostly but i see groups and i feel gross. its not as bed now (any of you beans that have made it this far, ily /p) becuase i found a community i can actually interact with, but it still comes up, especially because i've moved away from all my irl friends and its so fucking hard for me to make them in the first place. like.. actual friends, not just people i can work with at school

if i keep going i'll probably talk myself in circles, so ill stop it here. theres a lot more but im not going to ramble about my suicidal, intrusive, or sh thoughts on this blog. this is a post to inform you guys of the state of mind im in. im lonely and sad and its all building up to a massive breakdown.

im not going to be leaving tumblr or giving up on my comic, but i probalby wont update as often as i did tsob. i just dont have the energy.

i also will probably post some of my traditional art cuz i gotta fill up a sketchbook for my animation class, so that also takes away from the time i use to draw digitally.

im so tired

[lgcseojin]

✱ SEOJIN'S JOURNAL ( 2006 - current )

This journal is property of Park Seojin. It contains sensitive topics and precious thoughts. If you find this, don't open it or else he'll come find you and take you to Suplex City! Go away.

Septembur September, 2006 The therapy lady said if I pretend I'm talking to God then I can write eeeasier. I dunno. Don't wanna talk to you right now buddy. Cuz somtymes sometimes I kinda wish you didn't make me so I'm upset at you. And I hate cake and I don't wanna blow out anymore stupid candelsles. It just makes me feel real mad. Speshully Especially when Miss Heejung tries to give me hugs. I don't want none of that I just wanna go back to my friends somtimes.

November 30th, 2006 Mr Dongwoo Dad said that the baby is gonna come any day now. I'm gonna be mad if the kid is born on my birthday no way am I gonna share. It's my day!! I want somethin that's mine.

December 25th, 2006 Didn't write in this thing cuz I forgot. Anyway. Christmas is real fun. I got an RC racer thing!!!!! It goes so fast hahahah!!

January 15th, 2007 The baby was really late. They called her Dahye. She looked at me kinda funny but she didn't cry when I hugged her.

September 3rd, 2007 I got moved to a different class and stuff. I wanna throw books cuz now I'm not with my friends. But the teach said we were dissruptin class or whatever. I get to sit next to a girl now and she stuck her tongue out at me so I stuck out my middle finger. Her name is Boram.

March 14th, 2008 Girls are weird. I gave Boram my chocolates cuz she gave me some and then she said she was gonna throw em in the toilet. Whatever. I didn't like her anyways.

May 21st, 2009 Hahahah!!! Jaehyuk hyung came to school today and brought a real lizard. Yep it was real I checked and everything. Haesung said we should dissect it but we were like no way. I wanna make it my pet. It looks so sick! Not sick sick but cool

June 17th, 2009 I bought a guitar!!!

November 27th, 2009 A weird lady said hi to me when I was walking home. She had really long hair and a funny smile. She looked real sick (the real kind) and said my name. Maybe she's one of them no homes people or a ghost or somethin

November 29th, 2009 The weird lady tried to give me a bag of chips and grab my hand. Did she think I was 5 years old or somethin. That shit don't work on 11 year olds. So I ran away real fast. Skinned my knee. It fuckin hurt.

December 1st, 2009 Stuff sucks real bad right now. I'm real sorry God. I don't wanna go back no more. I just wanna stay here now. I'm sorry.

December 1st, 2010 She called again. I can't have one day.

December 1st, 2011 Sorry I keep ignoring you. Lotsa shit is happening lately. That lady hasn't even read this since like 2 years ago. Why do I even bother? How did I do it again? Hi, God? Haha. I'm good, I guess. Bored right now. Eating some kinda bread dad bought in Japan. Way too sweet but whatever. Birthday went okay. They gave me a party and it wasn't anything special I guess.

January 20th, 2013 Got nothing else to do so I'm gonna write in this again. Fuck this city. Fuck everything. I don't wanna move and leave everyone behind. This sucks so fucking much. Seoul seems like it sucks anyway. But at least Jaehyuk is there... Ugh nevermind. It makes feel sick to write while the car's moving all over the place, and Dahye won't stop pinching me. I'm gonna give this kid a headlock.

April 30th, 2013 Some kid almost ran me over with his bike so I grabbed it and he fell on me. Buncha stolen shit fell outta his jacket and everything. Hahaha. He begged me not to tell anyone. I think he's a grade below me even though he said he's like 13 I think. Seems real smart. Name is Cheol... something. I guess he's ok when we started to talk but if he runs me over again I'm gonna pummel him for sure.

August 2nd, 2013 Mom had the baby today. The kid is real cute and she grabbed my finger super tight. I'm gonna be honest. I kinda felt like crying and stuff. She's real cute, Dasom. I wanna protect her.

October 12th, 2013 Jaehyuk wants to start a band or whatever. Know I never mentioned it before but I kinda like to sing and I know how to play guitar. I'll give it a shot. He introduced me to some guy named Taewoo from another school and I asked Cheol if he wanted to join, too. Here goes nothing I guess.

February 23rd, 2015 I asked Minkyung out. I know you don't know who that is yet, God. Sorry about that. I was being an idiot just being in my head instead. She's in the same class as me. She's got short hair like to her neck kinda length. It's really funny. The class was playing soccer and she kicked the ball at my head. She seemed real scared about it and she came over to check on me and grabbed my face. That's what it's like to fall in love right??

July 9th, 2016 Long time no see, huh? Lots of good news happened so far. Well, kinda. First, I'm still going out with Minkyung. :) Second, I entered a singing contest and I got 3rd place, so a guy with a card came up to us and all. He was from a company... entertainment company. Legacy or something. Well, I auditioned and made it. Cool, right? Weird, though... Didn't think this could be a thing for me. Well, I'm gonna mooch these vocal lessons and see what happens I guess. Taewoo won't stop calling me a fucking sell-out though. Bastard. Anyway... the next news is awkward kinda. Mom and dad decided to foster this kid. He's like 12 or 13 or something and he's already getting on my nerves... Feel bad for him though. I know what it's like.

June 14th, 2017 Shit sucks. What a joke. See if those fuckers mess with Hyunseung again. I'd kick their asses all over again until they leave him alone.

December 2nd, 2017 She called me again. I don't get why she just won't leave me the hell alone. I can't do this shit. I don't care if I'm her "real son". Why did she have to find me? You left me there for like almost 7 years and now you wanna keep trying.

March 1st, 2018 I decided to start over. It's for the best, probably. Dim is over. I left the company. Me and Minkyung decided it would be better if we broke up. I couldn't even look at her anymore after I went off the deep end and didn't wanna be around anybody for a while. It was like shit was falling apart and I didn't wanna be like that and hurt her. Then have to leave her. And the guys. I feel like shit. I don't even know if this is the right choice. I'm taking you with me. There's still a lot of space to fill.

March 28th, 2018 It's the fifth day of basics. A week in and I've got some smart idea to start a journal. Apparently it's supposed to be "good" for me as an outlet but like... For all I know, some guy will take it, read it, and make fun of me. Whatever. This is stupid. The food sucks.

March 30th, 2018 Guy named Jung Woobin joined today. Kind of a nerd, but he's in my temporary unit and the bed next to mine. Might as well make friends. He keeps talking about random shit. Maybe I can see if he likes Slam Dunk. Well, I'm not here to make friends anyways, am I? Nothing else interesting happened. Entries are gonna be short till something interesting happens.

April 5th, 2018 Week two. Not hype. Hate waking up fucking early. This sucks ass. Some guy lost his shit and ran off in some random direction. They labeled him as a deserter. Feel kinda bad for him. Just glad he wasn't in my unit.

April 8th, 2018 New recruits came. There was overflow in bunking so they stuck a guy with us. I get a chaebol smell off of him but he seems alright so far. Let's see how he does during the first week.

April 21st, 2018 I'm tired of this Kang dude. Nearly kicked his ass before we got stopped. What a prick. He snores when he sleeps, too. I'm gonna plug his nostrils.

May 1st, 2018 Transfer to marines unit today. Off to Pohang. Wish me luck.

July 30th, 2018 Finally got time to sit down and write. Shit's been intense. The C.O. is no fucking stickler. He makes our squad wake up up to an hour earlier than the others. Set our alarms as the wake up song that blasts outside. Today, I swear we got to bed at midnight and got up at 3:30am. Wanted us to get our rounds done early so we can get a head start into the MMA training so we're in top shape. Tomorrow, our platoon is supposed to meet with the American marines that are stationed here, too.

October 10th, 2018 My English isn't that great but I kinda talked to this guy and we became friends. Tall, wavy hair, super ripped. Said his name is Andreas like the fault line but I dunno what that means, really. I can just call him Andy, he calls me Jin. His Korean is pretty good, actually. Hahaha.

October 11th, 2018 We sat by the river when everything is done and he and his friend taught me how to skin a rabbit. Then, the guy said he was gonna go rock fishing ( I think, I couldn't get his accent but I think he was from Australia or something ) and pulled a catfish with his bare hands. I'm serious! Wish I coulda taken a picture...

October 14th, 2018 It's the last day of the collab camp thing. Andy gave me a book. D'Aulaires' Book of Greek Myths. I guess I should get better at English... But he said he's staying in Seoul after this. And his dad's got a boxing gym or something. Once I'm out, I'll check it out.

December 1st, 2018 They remembered my birthday. Never thought I'd get a Chocopie with a candle sticking out of it. Whatever works. I don't like sweets anyway and it's cold as balls.

February 13th, 2019 I'm on break for seollal! Came back home for a bit to see everyone. I know I saw them in between but still... This is nice. Chan must've gotten real tall over the summer. Dasom ran up to me and hugged me real tight. As for Dahye, she shook my hand. What a weird kid. I missed them so much. Gonna go spend time with them now. I won't forget you at home. Promise.

March 26th, 2019 A new guy joined us today. Real jumpy, that one. Said he got transferred to our unit for some reason he won't say. Rumor is that he tried to kill some guy and he's in a gang back in Daejeon. I don't believe it for a second. What a stupid story.

April 3rd, 2019 Caught Lcpl. Shin creeping around the place after dark not in his bunk. I got up to take a piss and he almost scared it right outta me. This is like the 2nd time this happened. Since our ranks are the same there's not much I can do. Should I tell the C.O.? Shit, why am I asking you? I don't think you would know what to do either.

April 17th, 2019 Fuck it, we finally ratted on the guy. The hell is he doing lurking around the latrines all the time... Must be some kinda weirdo. I guess that's why he was transferred. Shoulda kicked him out instead. Woobin said he saw him with a knife when he got out so I dunno what to think anymore. Lt said it isn't a big deal. That the guy's gotta be touched in the head, whatever that means.

April 22nd, 2019 Something or some dipshit keeps knocking on the barracks again. Can't fucking sleep. Shit sucks.

May 24th, 2019 Things were quiet for a while. There was a weird smell coming from the latrines and it wasn't cause of the crap they serves us. Found a dead bird strung up with shoelaces. Can't eat tonight.

May 28th, 2019 Can't sleep. Knocking again. The alarms went off. Glitch, I guess.

May 31st, 2019 Some shit went down. Two of the guys started wailing on each other outta nowhere. Screaming real loud about something. I didn't really bother trying to figure it out when we got them off each other. They were reprimanded. Only 9 of us, so this shit really stirred things up. Must have been some kinda disagreement. But everyone's fucking tired. Climbing drills are tomorrow.

June 1st, 2019 The ropes were cut. Or frayed. Or old, or something. It's my fault, isn't it? If I didn't pull so hard then Hwang wouldn't have fallen. Everything's okay. He said it wasn't cause of me. They took him out for a short medical leave. Hope he's okay. But I'm still shaking. I'd only tell you this kinda stuff, God.

June 5th, 2019 There's only 6 of us right now in the unit right now until the others get back. Feels real quiet right about now. No one really wanted to talk. Least, not to me. I still got Woobin but he seems like something's real wrong. Shin's got the world under his feet, though, the way he's strutting everywhere. Kept trying to show me his rabbit pelt. Freak.

July 7th, 2019 That fucking knocking again. A slam. Piss off so I can sleep already.

July 19th, 2019 It's raining. Real hard. Had to go fix something and found Shin out there doing... something. Whatever it is, he didn't like that I caught him and fuck I don't know what to do. It can't have been something bad, right? I didn't really see. It was dark.

July 23rd, 2019 I'm gonna kill that piece of shit. What kinda asshole takes a picture of my mom and just. He's dead. Next week. Mark my words, God. I'm confessing ahead of time if something happens. I'm kicking his ass when he comes around.

July 29th, 2019 The fucker still lives. Unfortunately. Opened my eyes and saw him hovering over my bunk. I swear. I saw it. How long was he standing there? How many days? Shouldn't think too much of it...

August 2nd, 2019 I looked over and he was just sitting up in bed like that. Awake. I don't think he ever sleeps, come to think of it. Woobin said the same thing. I started to keep my knife with my under my pillow.

September 6th, 2019 We woke up and Shin was gone from his bed. Nothing from the usual. C.O. came in and told us the military officers came and got him. Said what happened stays with us. They're making Woobin testify but he won't tell me what happened. Guess I'll never really find out. Gotta keep an eye on the news maybe later. Feel like I need to take 8 showers though. Maybe 10. Hopefully there won't be too much to write about now.

September 30th, 2019 Holy shit. Just a little bit longer and I'll be outta here. Sgt. Park speaking. Cool, right? I should have something positive here after all that. Everything seems like it's okay again. I think. I guess I thought about it a little more... All sorta guys come through here and you never know who's gonna end up being totally insane. I left out some details but, God, I'm sure you saw what happened anyways.

October 15th, 2019 One more month! I get to lead new recruits today. I asked Woobin to help and he still almost passed out running with us. Guess some guys really don't get that fit here, haha. Here's hoping we can still be friends when we leave. He's outta here next week... Gonna miss him something awful.

November 10th, 2019 I'm free!!! Gonna stay with the family again for a bit until we get my place figured out. Don't really plan on going to school or anything, but dad helped me find a job at some restaurant. I gotta go to Gangnam for it since it's all ritzy but it pays well. I'm kinda excited. Really feels like I started over again... Also, went to the bar still in my fatigues ( yeah, I know, I was lazy ). Craziest thing, the people you meet again. Some guy in uniform, another in a sparkly jacket. Funny where we end up.

December 2nd, 2019 Saw the guys yesterday. We got super smashed and they said I climbed a tree. Wait. Why am I still writing? Nothing interesting is going on. Let's not make this a habit.

January 8th, 2020 Nevermind. Something kinda crazy happened. Went to Vampire Den for the open mic night again. Just to sing. I got that card again. This shiny one. I guess I must have been outta my mind and had it in me to go for an audition. It was worth a shot. I'm almost at the limit they accept trainees. Fuck what am I doing? Shit.

January 9th, 2020 The call came. I made it. They said I gotta move into the dorms now. At least I got a couple months to myself.

January 20th, 2020 Shit man. So many kids around... This kid ( had a real unique name ) I'm roommates with said that he's graduating high school soon. Crazy... I think I'm in way over my head if this is how things are gonna be, but fuck it, right? At least I can still keep my job. Guess I'll just start making some friends around here. There's plenty of guys my age. Yushin's even here, too. Well, anyway. I don't gotta keep writing in this right now so see you later.

July 24th, 2020 Hey guess who's gonna be in a band again? Well kinda. It's still a bunch of practicing. We'll see what happens but I'm feeling optimistic, I think.

April 21st, 2021 This just in for another episode of Shit Sucks... They pulled the band stuff. I guess there weren't gonna be enough resources for it. Dunno what to do now. Feels like everything's crumbling apart around me. I can just hide away in my room for the rest of the year, right? Just not sure what they're gonna do with me now. Gotta get better at dancing. I'll do it later.

May 23rd, 2021 Shit just keeps happening. I saw her with someone else. I don't want an explanation. I'm tired of this push and pull shit. Going here and there without saying much. She lit my heart on fire and put it out with her fucking shoe. I loved her. At least, I think I did. I guess that doesn't matter now. Nothing should have come from that day and why did I even bother going through with it. Over and over again. Wasted my own heart. Nothing matters anymore, does it? Fuck it all. I should go somewhere. Don't look now, God.

August 17th, 2021 I guess some okay things can happen. But these blind dates the guys keep trying to set me up on are a waste of time. Better to not put in effort like that. Anyway, dad's heart thing has gotten better, too. He wanted me to start picking up his new medicine after practice every day.

September 19th, 2021 It's hard to want to sing again. Or want to do much of anything again. Maybe I'll get better by next year.

September 25th, 2021 Met this girl. Well, already did. Sometimes, she'd be at the pharmacy when I picked things up. There's dimples in her cheeks when she smiles at me. I mentioned I was interested in producing music and she asked me for some pointers. We're meeting next week so I can help her, I guess. Worth a shot. Come to think of it, I think we went to the same high school.

October 18th, 2021 She's cute. Fuck, I'm so screwed. I remember now. I sneezed on her in the hallway once. She said it was two times, but I don't remember the first one. We already talked a lot. It's weird. Something dangerous about her. I'll watch my step...

October 31st, 2021 I feel drunk even though I'm not. She said she liked me and I wanted to run. I think I already like her, too. I just can't be what she needs right now. I shouldn't be writing this stuff down. I'll save it for songs. My own head. See you.

December 5th, 2021 She said there's a beauty in being impulsive. She is coy and bold. She wants to kiss my cheek because something compels her to. She yearns to see me. I can't forget anything she says. She speaks in poetry and laughs in music. I don't flinch when she reaches out to touch me. So.. What now...? I kissed her on the shores of some snowy Sokcho beach. When she says now that there's nothing innocent about the way I kiss her with that smirk of hers. When she said she's looking for someone to break her heart because she's just being realistic. Not to feel burdened because I make her happy. She'll be patient for me. I think I might be going a little crazy. Emotionally, spiritually. She makes me want to sing again.

December 1st, 2022 Aside from one good thing, this year was kind of a bust. Hoping for a better one next year. Fuck, I'm getting old. Did they forget about me?

March 20th, 2023 Finally got a project! With actual songs. Not sure what it's gonna entail but ... here goes nothing, as usual. :)

March 30th, 2023 And when it comes to spring, I learned that it's made of heartbreak and not love.

August 12th, 2023 Fuck, what am I doing with my life? It's so close I can taste it but I can't help but feel like there's so much missing.

October 30th, 2023 What am I doing? Part two. Everything is all jumbled up. There's nowhere to put that anger brewing in my head. I almost messed up my hand because of it and ruined everything for myself. Might start writing some songs again...

December 1st, 2023 The first birthday I really felt like I deserved. I guess I made it this far, huh? And there are people who care about me, love me. It's still really overwhelming to think about, but looking back, this is what I always needed. And I should have been more grateful for what I have around me in the form of other people.

January 1st, 2024 I think it's gonna be a great year. Love is real.

January 14th, 2024 Oh. Fuck.

[bastardtrait]

huge get to know me post

hi friendsies. I feel like sharing today. some of these are from a really long time ago because I've been hoarding them like the sewer-dwelling critter I am. thank you to everyone who tagged! if you also feel like sharing today then please by all means, use this post as an excuse.

last and current things tag! for this one I was tagged by @moonfromearth @newvegastrait and @airbussy-a330.

last song: water colour by Wheein

last show: I watched an episode of From with my brother & SIL which was pretty intriguing

currently watching: I do not...watch shows...I can't stick to shows if it'd save my life tbh

currently reading: Love Hate & Clickbait by Liz Bowery. it's fine so far. a solid 3/5 read. could I recommend it? if you're bored maybe.

current obsession: God of War Ragnarök. in fact I'm so obsessed I'm hellbent on 100%ing this game and I might even go back for NG+. please send help.

15 questions for 15 mutuals! for this one I was tagged by @autonomousllama and @thelastairsimblr.

Are you named after anyone? Yes, I've got my parents' names in my full legal name.

When was the last time you cried? you're gonna make me say it huh. fine. I cried during the middle part of God of War Ragnarök omg bye

Do you have kids? No...but it'd be nice someday...

Do you use sarcasm a lot? I don't know if I'm sarcastic. not really my form of humour. but I could be wrong.

What sorts of sports do you/have you played? I like swimming and diving, and football/soccer.

What's the first thing you notice about other people? okay this is gonna sound completely fucking unhinged so bear with me but...smell. like yeah that's a really normal answer right. but it's true. don't sue me.

Eye colour: brown

Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings because I watched the ever-loving shit out of horror movies between 11-21 and now I don't care about them anymore.

Any special talents? I hate this question goodbye

Where were you born? the Philippines

What are your hobbies? cooking, video games, making and playing music, tabletop rpg's, painting. normal tweecore shit I guess.

Do you have any pets? yes, one overgrown rat the shelter tried to pass off as a dog but I know better. and I love him dearly.

How tall are you? driver's license says 173 cm which is around 5'8".

Favourite subject in school? god idk I haven't been in school in years. I guess history? maybe?

Dream job? I do not dream of having a job.

shuffle your playlist tag! I was tagged by @beebeesiims a while ago. in which I must shuffle my on repeat playlist and share the first 10 tracks GOD HERE WE GO...

Set Me Free - Twice

夜に駆ける Racing into the night - YOASOBI

きらり Flash - Fujii Kaze

真夜中のドア/Stay With Me - Matsubara Miki

Umaasa - Skusta Klee

Burning Friday Night - Lucky Kilimanjaro

Supernova - Ellegarden

Gunshot - KARD

Perfect World - Twice

Wonderland - iri

get to know the blogger tag! I was tagged by @lynxsimago aaages ago. some of these questions are the same as the ones above so those, I will skip.

show your wallpaper:

yes I use windoze 7. sorry my slay is so gigantic.

last movie: Mambo Italiano from 2003. one of those so bad it's good movies.

craving: some ice cold aiyu jelly on bright, blistering summer day!

what are you wearing right now? shorts...and a bandage on my torso bc I burned myself last night lol

piercings? earlobes and left nostril. I want an eyebrow one too though.

tattoos? a bow and arrow design on my right forearm and the word "انتظار" on my left wrist.

glasses/contacts? I wear glasses

last thing I ate: a panino I made. it slapped.

favourite colour? yellow!

favourite fictional character? Samwise Gamgee probably.

last place I travelled: if driving an hour+ away from home counts, then it was to Brockville. if it should be longer than that, then it'd be Vancouver.