#neurotic

[wanderingmind867]

Whenever my posts don't seem to get attention, my mood gets sour and depressive. I don't think that indicates emotional stability on my part, but I can't really help it. I think this is proof that social media isn't great for me, honestly. I seem to feel some sort of obsessive dejection when I realize that my posts aren't getting attention. I probably should talk to my dad and therapist about this, but that would require me to admit to having that account (and more specifically, to having made 13,000+ posts and never telling anyone). But until i work up the courage to tell someone about all this (and who knows if i ever even will), I'm just going to do what I usually do. I'm going to ask: did anyone seen my posts? Because it feels like some of them have had next to no attention, and i'm beginning to want to repost them.

[salembehindbars]

When I say “Spencer Hastings is so me” I don’t mean the good grades and extracurricular activities, I mean the anxiety, the obsessive nature, the insomnia, the caffeine addiction, being high strung, the neurosis, being competitive, the self doubt, hardheadedness, and the emotional exhaustion.

[neuroticboyfriend]

yes, i'm mad. neurotic. insane. erratic. but that doesn't make my experiences false or wrong. my reality is just as important and real and meaningful as the sane's. my feelings, thoughts, and actions matter. i deserve the same decency and respect as others. i am not a mistake, i do not need to be cured. nature made me. i am alive. i exist, and i am not going anywhere.

[infpisme]

[thefemcelthatdeservesbetter]

OF women

I hate attractive women "relating" to Tomoko Kuroki on the internet. I hate how they portray "loser girls" in general. I'm pretty sure if Tomoko was pretty she would be popular. Social anxiety wasn't the only thing ruining her life, obviously. As for example, Komi is a character with social anxiety too, yet everyone liked her unlike Tomoko. To me, the main issue she's been dealing with is her looks; comparing those two proves my point. Wrong character, whore.

I saw a woman like that on Instagram and it just pissed me off. Other than this post, she posted about how she was so tired of men and that she didn't want them in her life anymore. SHE LITERALLY HAS AN OF ACCOUNT. How controversial is that??? She sells her body online and the only people consuming this content would be men. She's voluntarily exposing herself to MEN. I say she's just a hypocrite and a dumb whore.

How can a woman like that dare say that she's just like Tomoko??? I hate how those dumb sluts gaslight people into thinking that loser girls like that character are attractive. And then some men are like "oh I'm so into loser girls" until she IS an unattractive loser. I hate this! It's like how people romanticize mental disorders, it's bullshit. It just leads to disappointment to the people that those cunts pretend to be like.

I hate society. I hate the world we live in.

One day, I don't know how, I will become powerful and make them eat their own shit!!!! I'd strip them naked in front of their parents just to humiliate them!!!!

[soulmaking]

Marcel Proust, In Search of Lost Time (trans. C. K. Scott Moncrieff)

[saranilssonbooks]

Have a Moby-Dick theory, but can't remember exactly how a crucial quote goes, can't remember which chapter it's from, can't find it with the help of my Kindle, and now I can't sleep and am starting to doubt it's actual existance as well as reality itself.

[oldinterneticons]

[addictivecontradiction]

Under the silver lake, 2018

[wanderingmind867]

I don't want to be neurotic or insecure or anything, but I'm worrying nobody (or next to nobody) has seen my posts. And that's upsetting, because I've probably made at least 5-6 new posts today. So for my own peace of mind, can you tell me that you've seen my posts today. At least people saw them will make me a tiny bit better. I'll probably still end up wishing my posts had more notes, leading to me futilely reposting the same thing over and over. That seems to be a trend with me.

[salembehindbars]

She’s been called neurotic once or twice.

[masquerade-flags]

Neurotic/neurosis flag?

Neurotic/Neurosis flag

I chose the colors I do because I wanted the flag to have a somewhat upset look to it. The yellow is fear and anxiety, the light brown is for agitation, the brown is feelings of guilt, the dark brown(?) is for self consciousness, the dark purple is for sadness and melancholy, the dark red is for feeling of instability

[deebrisbyfish]

With Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse coming out this week, I decided to take an old sketch I made, clean it up and finish it for fun. It is, of course, an homage to the now-classic "Spider-Man #1" cover by Todd McFarlane.  (And yeah, I KNOW that comic was adjective-less, but it felt funnier this way.)

[thefemcelthatdeservesbetter]

Um i haven't been on tumblr in so long

Summer has been going fine... I think. I felt a lot better because i had fun thrifting... After going on a small vacation trip I've been just staying at home doing nothing.

I was at the mall once, as i walked by a guy i noticed he smiled, looking at me. I wasn't quick to react so i only smiled back for a second.. i felt so insane my heart was beating so fast but yeah.. Later on i realized he didn't smile at me he just happened to look at me while laughing with his friend. Ugh. But it's fine.

I think that buying clothes makes me a bit happy, i feel like they could maybe make up for my lack of attractiveness. I don't want to consider myself a loser or an incel anymore even if it means becoming what i hate about girls my age. If i become a bitch will i fit in???

I thought maybe the only reason i feel bad sometimes is because I'm lonely, kinda?? If i had friends to hang out with i wouldn't care about the way I'd look, I'd just have fun. My bestfriend's never available and I'm starting to feel like she doesn't like me anymore. We never text, barely once a week or less. I know I'm super boring but i can have conversations sometimes. But it's she doesn't even want to. I know she has other friends and she texts them all the time probably. I don't know how to be funny, I don't know how to be interesting. Especially over text ... Because when you're with your friend irl, you're stuck with them, if you don't wanna get bored, you HAVE to talk. Since they'd be fine with anything to be kept entertained, i can just yap about some show i watched or food i ate.

However when you're texting they can just ghost you or leave you on seen... Every time i send her a reel she doesn't even text me back but just emoji reacts to it, with the same stupid meat emoji. I wonder if she even watches them. I mean.. the least she could do is give her opinion on it??? I don't know..

I feel like we're so different. She texts that dude she used to like (who is the same dude that was ashamed to be my "friend") and when i realized that, i was like oh ok. He initially was MY friend, not even a friend, a classmate. I'm not saying that in a "ohh im so jealous he's MY friend not HERS!!!!" way. I'm clarifying that because it sounds like it. I'm jealous, yeah but not about him specifically. It's just that, I've known him for longer than her, they don't even go to the same school, they're not even SUPPOSED to know each other. He didn't text me once this summer even though we're "friends", oh yeah right, except for when he wanted to know my results on final exams. While he texts HER , probably everyday. Just like how he snaps girls in my class. I'm not jealous, like jealous, I'm just confused on why am i the only one treated differently.

I don't know if it's because of how i look or if I genuinely act like a retard. Am i not fun???? Am i boring??? Am i not girly enough??? Am i not enough of a teenager?? Is it my body? The way i talk? I'd like to understand why. I'd like to know what they have that i don't.

My best friend has mental illnesses, she says she feels empty and depressing stuff like that. When I'm normal, I'm psychologically healthy. People usually mock people that are mentally ill but oh it's TOTALLY fine because she's "hot". She's "a baddie" so she can be fixed. I'm not jealous, just envious that they have a different treatment. I'm not thinking "they don't deserve it" but just why not me too.

I keep asking myself what about me i have to change to be like them. Am i not mature enough?? Do i not look mature enough? Am i too much if a kid??? I want to be the "omg i wanna be her friend so bad" girl and not the "ah that's the retarded weirdo of the class". Why are teenagers complicated like that?? I wish i was more confident. I think that it influences the way people treat me too, my lack of self esteem and affirmation makes them feel superior.

I'm so nervous about back to school. I'm finally entering highschool and uhh I don't know how to feel about it. I don't want to. I'm worried of standing out tok much, I'm worried of not standing out enough. I want to be noticed, just not in the wrong way. I don't wanna be a stuoid loser anymore. I want to weak make up too and dress pretty and do everything other girls do. I want my highschool years to be just like in movies. I wanna make girl friends who i can talk about girl stuff with. I want friends who will hang out with me all the time, and throw slumber parties with them. That's lowkey so unrealistic but i still hope for it a little. I'm afraid it'll actually be the worst years of my life.

I need to put on weight and buy some makeup. I don't think i even care about boys anymore. I just want to fit in and have friends. Boys at my school are so lame, that's why I don't have a boyfriend. I don't need one, I'm super young.

[dj-flesh-angel]

If you're trying to remind me that im "not the main character" then number 1 ur WRONG and number 2 u lack any whimsy and ur jealous cuz i have more whimsy than u

[rosetyler42]

Some stressed Drericka comfort fluff. I love their Marlin and Dory dynamic where Drac's the neurotic one while Ericka can be the sunny chill pill who can get him to stop worrying and take a break.

@lovelylivelyv @black-ak9 @serial-serializednovelreader @hotelt-resurrection @deathfangirl9 @wingingfromthezing @heartsong1994 @ebevkisk @kittyball23