#i had to get a new laptop the other day because my old one literally made a little gasp and died

[leafy-m]

So I hit my 700th edit for the WHA wiki today, because I am a totally normal person

[alackofghosts]

in one of the circles of hell (trying to redo all my keybinds and ui settings in ffxiv)

[pure-smut]

helping out a friend.

featuring: Kuroo Tetsuro x f!reader

contains: childhood friends to lovers, mutual m*sturbation, missionary, softdom!kuroo, watching p*rn

note: all characters are aged up to 18+!

word count: 2.4k

masterlist

MDNI | 18+ content

You’ve known Tetsuro Kuroo since you were practically babies. You found each other at nursery and you’ve been inseparable ever since. Even though you’re older now and went to different Universities, you video call nearly every day. You’ve managed to break out of your shell a bit and make some new friends at Uni but nothing beats seeing Tetsu’s face pop up on your phone. He just cheers you up.

“Hey, nerd,” Tesu greets you one day. You balance your phone against the stack of books on your desk so you can see each other while you study.

“Hey, loser,” you greet him back. He must be just out of the shower because he’s not wearing a shirt and his chest is slick and shiny. “You couldn’t make yourself decent?”

“What, you don’t like?” he says, grinning. You roll your eyes and ignore him.

If you’re being honest with yourself, there was maybe a time years and years and years ago where you had a bit of a thing for Tetsu. You’re super close, after all, and he’s good-looking so you figured it was normal. After it became apparent that he didn’t view you that way – he flirts with literally everyone – you buried it way down deep until it disappeared. So, yes, at one point a comment like that would have made you blush. Now it doesn’t even phase you.

“You still studying?” Tetsu continues, oblivious.

“Duh. My last exam is tomorrow.”

“And then you’ll be back home, right?”

“Yep! Flights are booked for Friday.” You smile, excited to see him in person again.

“We need to hang out asap. I’ve missed you, dude.”

“I’ve missed you too. But are you not seeing Clarissa on Friday?”

He winces.

“Uhhh… no. That’s… not really a thing anymore.”

“Oh.” You look up from your notebook. “I’m sorry, Tetsu. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, dude, don’t even worry about it. I’ve gotta go but good luck with your exam tomorrow.”

“Thanks, I’ll see you Friday!”

You hang up and shake your head. For some reason, Tetsu can never stick with a girlfriend. Clarissa had lasted the longest and you had actually really liked her. You start to wonder what went wrong before stopping yourself. No, you need to focus on the exam and then you can catch up with Tetsu this weekend. The corner of your mouth upticks in a smile at seeing him again.

*

The exam goes as well as it could and you have a couple of hours to yourself before you need to catch your flight. You text your FWB but he replies with a busy today, sorry x. You sigh and pick up your laptop.

You have a few bookmarked porn videos and, exhausted from the exam, you decide to click an old, familiar one rather than searching through a bunch of new ones. As it starts up, you lick your finger to get it slick and snake a hand down under your panties. By the time the guy in the video is getting started, you’re softly rubbing your clit, your gaze on the screen intense.

Just as you’re nearing your orgasm, your phone rings. You groan with frustration but, seeing Tetsu’s name, you pick up.

“What?” you snap.

“Whoa, hello to you, too,” Tetsu chuckles.

“I’m a bit busy.”

“Doing what?”

There’s an awkward pause and, to your horror, you realise you haven’t stopped the video. The sound of slapping flesh and moaning fills the air.

“Oh,” Tetsu says.

“I-I’ll call you later,” you stammer out and hang up immediately.

Mortified, all your earlier horniess evaporates and you lay back in your bed, your face in your hands. Your phone buzzes with a message from Tetsu but you can’t even bring yourself to look at it. Instead, you push it down before your humiliation overwhelms you and start getting ready for your flight.

*

You arrive in your hometown that evening, exhausted and irritable.

“Did your exam not go well, sweetie?” Mom asks, frowning and pushing back your hair from your face.

“No, it was okay,” you sigh. “I’ve just had a long day.”

And you’ve embarrassed yourself so much in front of Tetsu that you want the ground to swallow you whole, you think but keep that part to yourself.

“I’ve got some dinner in the fridge for you, d’you want me to warm it up?”

“Thanks, Mom, but it’s alright. I’m just going to hang out in my room tonight. Get an early night.”

She seems displeased but doesn’t argue, letting you wheel your suitcase up the stairs and into your room.

It always feels weird coming home to your old bedroom – most stuff you took with you to the University dorms so all that’s left are your childhood things that you don’t want to part with. Even the walls are bare now. They used to be covered with photos of Tetsu and you but you took those to Uni with you too.

You groan at the thought of him and how awkward he must have felt. He’d sent you a few more messages but you haven’t checked them in case they confirm your worst fears – that you’re gross and he doesn’t want to be friends anymore. The thought makes you well up so you pull out your laptop and put on some low-stakes sitcom and bury yourself under the duvet.

You’re deep into your wallowing when there’s a knock at the door.

“I don’t want dinner, Mom!” you call. “I already said!”

“Unfortunately, I’m not dinner but I am a snack,” Tetsu responds from the other side of the door. You snap up to sitting, nearly launching your laptop off the bed. “Can I come in?”

“Uh…” You desperately look around although you don’t know what you're even looking for. “Um, yes. Yeah, come in.”

Tetsu steps in with his hand covering his eyes and closes the door behind him.

“What are you doing?” You squint at him.

“Oh, just in case I’m interrupting you jerking off again.”

A burst of laughter explodes from your chest, despite your burning cheeks, and you throw your pillow at him.

“You’re a dick!” you say but you’re laughing. He takes his hand away from his eyes and grins.

“Didn’t you get any of my messages?”

You avert your eyes and don’t say anything. Tetsu crosses the space between you and sits down next to you on the bed. You hate how embarrassed you feel – Tetsu always puts you at ease and you automatically want to rest your head on his shoulder but it feels too awkward to do so now.

“Listen, don’t worry about it,” he says. “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. So you were getting yourself off, so what? Everyone does it.”

“I know but…” You bury your face in your hands. Tetsu reaches across to ease your hands away and looks you in the eye.

“Seriously, don’t be embarrassed. Honestly? It was kind of hot.”

A million butterflies explode in your stomach and your heart sets off at a gallop.

“W-what?”

“Not to be weird or anything,” Tetsu grins and rubs the back of his neck. “And you don’t need to talk about it if you don’t want to. But we talk about everything else, right?”

“Right,” you say, breathless. “What… I mean, what would we even talk about?”

He shrugs.

“I don’t know, like, what kind of stuff were you watching?”

Your face flushes but you fight the urge to dive under the covers.

“I… don’t really know how to describe it.”

Tetsu’s eyes glint.

“Why don’t you show me then?”

You give a nervous bout of laughter, your heart still thunderous in your ears.

“Only if you want to,” he adds and you nod your head.

“I do, I just… won’t you find it weird?”

“Why would I? You’re my best friend.”

Tetsu smiles at you and it’s so familiar and reassuring that you smile back. You know that as soon as you reach for the laptop, your friendship will shift and you won’t be able to move it back. But it feels okay. Natural.

You pick up the laptop as Tetsu moves up the bed to sit next to you, his back against the headboard.

Your finger hovers over the link in the bookmark bar, hesitating before you take the plunge and click it. The familiar video starts playing as a man in a suit makes out with a woman in a secretary outfit. Tetsu gives a low chuckle.

“Nice,” he says and you get a weird thrill at his approval. “D’you watch this a lot?”

“Um, I guess. Every couple of days.”

His breathing hitches and he gives you a sidelong look.

“What?” you ask, defensiveness creeping into your voice.

“Nothing. I just like the idea of you touching yourself.”

“Shut up,” you say, your face warm and he gives a wide grin.

You keep watching for a few minutes as the man in the video starts fingering his secretary. His fingers plunge deep inside her and she throws her head back in pleasure. You feel yourself getting wetter and squirm uncomfortably. Tetsu must notice because he gives you another look.

“Touch yourself if you want,” he says. “I don’t mind.”

“I… no. It’s too awkward,” you reply, keeping your eyes forward on the screen.

“I could do it for you.”

You chance a glance at him and his eyes are on you. He’s looking at you in a way he never had before, like he’s hungry.

“Do you… would you want me to do it for you, too?” you say clumsily. You both look down to see the bulge in his jeans.

“Yeah,” he says, his playful smile gone. “If you want to.”

Your eyes are glued to his bulge. Your entire crush, which you thought you’d long buried, suddenly resurrects itself and you find yourself desperate to touch him.

“I do. Want to, I mean.” You lick your lips and he glances down to look at your mouth.

Unsure who should go first, you hesitate. Luckily, Tetsu doesn’t, and you watch him lick two of his long fingers.

“Spread your legs for me,” he instructs and you do so immediately. He pushes his hand down under the band of your pyjama shorts and panties. He doesn’t break eye contact the entire time. When his fingers reach your pussy lips, he finds them already slick with your arousal.

“The video do this to you?” he asks.

“The video,” you say. “And you.”

Emboldened, you reach across and undo his jeans. You slip your hand in and close it around his cock, gently pulling it free. As soon as you touch him, he inhales sharply.

“Is this okay?” you ask.

“Yeah. Definitely.”

His cock is velvety soft despite being rock solid and it feels hot against your fingers. You begin to stroke him slowly.

“Fuck,” he gasps, his hand still down your shorts. “I want to make you cum but I can’t fucking think straight with your hand around my cock.”

You keep stroking him regardless, enjoying him melt beneath your fingertips. He repositions himself so he’s closer to you and his fingers begin circling your clit. You give a small gasp at the jolt it sends through your body and Tetsu groans, his eyes glazed over.

“I’ve wanted to do this for so long,” he murmurs so quietly you almost don’t hear him.

“Do what?” you whisper as his finger continues playing with your swollen clit.

“Touch you,” he breathes. “Fuck you.”

The muscles in his arm are taut and hard, his stomach solid as you start jerking him faster.

“I want you, too,” you tell him, your voice laden with need.

“Really?”

“Yes, Tetsu. Fuck me, now, please.”

“Oh, fuck,” he groans and, with effort, pulls himself free of your grasp.

Your pussy feels bare without his hand but it doesn’t last long as Tetsu positions himself over you. There’s something unspoken between you – that you can take this slow another time, that you can explore each other’s bodies afterwards. Right now, you need each other too much to wait.

Tetsu quickly strips you of your pyjama shorts and panties, the only thing in between his cock and your pussy. You wrap your legs around him, using your feet to push down his jeans just enough so that his cock is free. He lines up the head with your entrance before looking up at you, a question in his eyes. You nod without hesitation.

Tetsu pushes his hips forward. He starts slow, only sinking in a few inches but he’s hard and thick and it’s enough for your eyes to roll back in your head. You can feel him stretching you, rubbing against all your nerves.

“Fuck,” you gasp. When you open your eyes, his are watching you.

He draws back ever so slightly before pushing in even deeper, waiting for you to adjust to the size of him before going any further. Every stroke sends your nerves alight. He continues until he’s buried completely inside you, filling you.

“You feel so fucking good,” he groans.

The walls of your pussy clamp down on him and you can see the muscles in his arms bulging as he holds up his weight over you. He pulls back until he’s nearly fully out. In the light of the laptop, you can see his cock glistening with your juices before he slams back inside you. He picks up speed, finding a rhythm, and each time he pounds you, you hurtle closer to an orgasm. Your pussy starts to contract around his cock.

“T-Tetsu, I… I’m going to…” you gasp but you can’t finish the sentence.

Your orgasm rocks through your body, your pussy squeezing Tetsu’s cock. Your legs wrap tightly around him, encouraging him to go harder, deeper. Tetsu gives a long, low moan and you feel his cock throb. His hand grips your hip, pinning you beneath him as he unleashes thick ropes of his cum inside you. You both collapse onto the bed.

After a few moments, while you both catch your breath, he pushes himself up on one arm. While still inside you, he presses a gentle kiss on your lips – your first kiss. When he pulls back, there’s a grin on his face.

“That was way better than jerking off.”

masterlist

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[gguk-n]

Chapter 1- Anonymous Conversations

Unravelling Max's Mystery (Max Verstappen x Online Friend!Reader)

Series Masterlist

Summary- Y/N formed an unexpected bond with a boy behind the screen. He doesn't have many interest it seems, except for reading her stupid poems.

{Reader's POV}

12/07/2012

Dear Diary, Stella is leaving for Canada tomorrow forever. Today was the last day of school before the summer break so I went to Stella's house after school. It's so shitty, how can she leave me like this and before the start of high school. I don't have any friends other than her, what am I supposed to do??? This isn't fair, first Faye moved back to her home country a couple years back and now Stella. It's like they don't even care about me. I made a google plus account so we can stay in touch. Actually everyone's on google plus, I'm just late to the party. I'm sure we'll still be close.

02/01/2013

OMG!! I think I'm in love. There's this new boy band, One Direction. Ava told me about them last year but I brushed her off saying they weren't my cup of tea, but OMG!!! They are fucking perfect and I love Niall so much. He's so cute and has the dreamiest eyes and his accent, I'm gonna faint. I bought the Take Me Home album yesterday!! I even put up their poster above my bed, hehe!! Sooooo, I may or may not be writing now. I think I'm gonna be an author. The stuff isn't great like Shakespeare but I'm sure I'll improve. I've written a couple poems and Aria read them and she thinks they are great. I'm gonna start uploading them on google plus. I made a separate page for it, under a pseudonym. If I really improve, maybe I can publish my work.

I was sat at my laptop, typing the latest story I came up with during lunch so I could upload it. There were a lot of people who were reading my work and even encouraged me. There is improvement, but then again, we can do better, I'm sure. My parents aren't very happy with how I'm wasting my time writing instead of focusing on my education since I'm in high school now. I finished typing the story and clicked the upload button, I got a comment on the post. It was from this guy, named Max, just Max. He always read all of my work and writes the nicest comments under them. I haven't spoken to him personally ever since my mother kept warning me about stranger danger and that it could be some 50 year old dude. But his comments are encouraging and make me want to write more. I hope he knows the kind of effect he's having on me.

My birthday is in a couple of days, I don't know what I'll do since I don't really have a lot of friends. Even Aria is away during that time, so I don't really have anyone to go out with. My parents are busy as always.

So, out of desperation or sadness, I don't know which one, I posted on google plus saying that it was my birthday. The first person who replied was Max as always. I really wanna know when this guy sleeps or how he gets any work done if he is online so much. He messaged me personally too, to wish me again and even asked what I did. I couldn't lie because my heart was heavy, so I told him. I literally just unloaded about not having any friends and spending the day alone because work was more important for my parents. He was so nice about it. He spent the next hour talking to me and cheering me up. He's apparently 15, from Netherlands. He loves cats and lives with his dad and sister. He sounds like a fun guy.

After that, both of us ended up chatting on google plus regularly. I would message him immediately after school and spend the next couple of hours talking to him. Some times, he'd be gone a couple weekends but it was no biggy. I'm sure he had other commitments instead of entertaining a dumb teenager.

Max's birthday is on 30 September. I wanted to be the first one, so I stayed up late to match the dutch timings and wished him. He replied a little while later. He wasn't very excited about it. I get it, maybe his friends aren't there or couldn't make it to his birthday. I was gonna cheer him like he cheered me up. I wish I could send him a present. He really was a light in dark time. When I had no friends in school I could rely on, he came like the knight in shining armour. I just want to be a good and reliable friend to him like he is to me. He is such a sweetheart. We've never spoken on call yet. I guess I'm still a little scared and we've only known each other for a few months. I'm gonna hold on that but Max is a genuinely nice person in my eyes. But his dad doesn't sound like the nicest person from what he says, but I can't tell him that his dad is shitty so I just read his texts.

18/12/2013

Dear Diary, Maxie is the cutest. I haven't seen or heard him yet but I feel like he is. Otherwise, why would he encourage me to follow my dreams? He was so understanding and gave great advice. You might wonder why I needed the advice, diary. I told my parents I wanna pursue a degree in literature and we had a huge fight since apparently I'm throwing my life away and I should try to get a proper degree that might get me a job. Apparently, I'm not thinking straight. I've been thinking about becoming an author for some time now, it's my one passion, I've realised. And if it means struggling, I would rather struggle and be happy than be in a dead end job. Just because they are some big shot business people doesn't mean I wanna do that do. ugh!!! I hate them. Maxie calmed me down honestly, he heard me out and told me it was okay to follow my dreams. I think he is such a good friend. I won't tell him that, he has a big ego as is. LOL!!

I've been gaining a lot of traction on my posts on google plus. I have a couple thousand followers but Max is the most active of them all. Max is so effortlessly funny. He did ask one time if we could talk on call, I told him that my microphone was broken. I'm still a little skeptical. I know, even though I'm literally sharing everything with him, I've never spoken on call or video with him. Maybe some day.

04/03/2014

Dear Diary, I got a new phone and a new number. The previous one was one of my parents multiple numbers but this one is my own. I feel like an adult, hehe!! I made a whatsapp, maybe I'll share my number with Maxie and we might start chatting on there. Google plus had become a bit of hassle and I'm not uploading on it like I used to. I usually only open it to talk to Max. I think it would be better to shift it to another service. He's been a little busy this year compared to the last, didn't tell me much but I think it has to do with him being in his final year of high school. Can't relate, but I hope I'm done with high school soon. It fucking sucks. But on the bright side, I've gotten close to Nia and Aria and I could call Aria my best friend but she considers Nia her best friend. I don't mind being her friend. I have Max anyways.

Max has been quite busy lately, but I don't blame him. I would be busy in my final year of high school too. Even with all that, he has taken time out to talk to me. I did share my number with him, so now instead of google plus, which is a barren wasteland, we text on whatsapp. I've suggested talking on call some time when he's free, which hasn't happened yet.

We had set up a time to talk, it was really early here but I didn't mind, I was up anyways. I couldn't wait to hear his voice. I was anxious as well, what if he's some pedophile; all these thoughts raced through my head when my phone rang. Max- Hi, Y/N! Y/N- Hey, Max!! How are you? Max- I'm good, what about you? Y/N- Yeah, I'm good too. haha!! This is so weird talking to you. Max- yeah, you sound pretty. Fuck was he flirting, is this flirting? A million thoughts ran through my head, no one's ever flirted with me before. I felt my cheeks heat up. Y/N- You sound nice too. I mean....you have a nice voice. Max- haha, thanks, this is the first time some one has said that. Y/N- soooo, what have you been up too?? You've been so busy lately. There was a pause on the other end. I heard shuffling. Max- yeah, I've been busy with stuff. I'll be done soon for a while now. Y/N- That's great I need my best friend back! The conversation flowed smoothly. It didn't feel like we were talking on call for the first time. I had a lot of fun talking to Max. He sounds like a teenager, much to my relief. He's just as funny on call as he is on text.

After that, we ended up calling each other regularly. Max would answer my calls whenever but sometimes I felt bad about calling him at the crack ass of dawn in Netherland so I would avoid calling him whenever. He is so kind and listens well but damn does he talk. Every one who knows me calls me talkative, if they heard Max their ears would bleed. But I like hearing him talk, he has the most random and vast knowledge, he's helped me write too many of my papers because I didn't have to research, I could just ask him; he's like a walking encyclopedia.

17/05/2015

Dear Diary, I think I'm in love. It's not some celebrity this time but I think it's Max. I don't even know that dude's last name but I'm in love. He not like the guys in school, he's so mature and funny and sweet and understanding and he supports me so much. I didn't know when or how but I think I love him. Obviously I won't tell him. It's prolly a crush since I have't dated anyone ever. I'll get over it, can't ruin my friendship over this. As is, he has gotten so busy. I think he is going to college. He didn't say it explicitly but why else would he be so busy right now if not applying for colleges. I don't know the dutch education system but I'm sure he busy pursuing higher education. He said he liked cars, I think he'll do something with cars. I didn't really ask in more details. I'm sure he'll tell me when he wants to. We have a chill friendship, we share when and what we want to. Alas, I hope this crush doesn't ruin my friendship.

09/08/2015

This is bad, my crush on Max has only gone on to increase. He's so kind to me, what am I supposed to do? Also he's the only one who can calm me down after a fight with my parents regarding my future. Sadly, he gotten so busy. He's gone for a while every few weeks. But lately he's been free. We've been talking a lot. He sounds a lot more rested lately too. I'm sure college is tough. But he's strong and I know he'll do it.

[Little did Y/N know, Max was busy racing across the world in Redbull's junior team. He was in his first year as a formula one driver, hence he was so busy. Max had no intentions of telling her, he liked being just Max, a guy from Netherlands who could talk to her. He enjoyed the disconnect he got with her]

[sports-on-sundays]

It kills me to see all the requested: nope! In your fanfics

How about, reader struggles to sleep due to the stress of her work & travelling so he comforts her and helps her sleep? I’ll take any f1 driver or barca player.

help me sleep / Pedri González

Summary: Pedri x girlfriend!reader

Warnings: censored cussing, sobbing, work problems, stress, anxiety

Requested?: YEs! yEs!!!!! YES, MATE, IT IS REQUESTED!!!!

Author's Note: First request, baby!!! I love you so much bestie! <3 I'm so happy you saw my subtle-not-subtle begs for requests 😭!!! And I hope it's okay I chose Pedri; the other day I was having major I-Miss-Pedri syndrome that we've all been having for the past however many months (I don't even want to think about how long it has been) so I decided as a tribute to my boy, the first request on my blog should be him.

I say 'tribute' as if he's dead or something 😭

I feel like I'm acting way too excited about this request for it to be normal, but that's okay! I'm happy, and I owe it all to you! Now, let's get into this-

Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock went the clock on the wall. That stupid old clock that wasn't even set to the right time. You sat on the living room couch, at 2:34 A.M., dealing with work sh*t.

You walked in this evening, feeling ready to literally collapse, and was greeted by your boyfriend as the welcoming committee. It was sweet. He had bought you your favorite treat and flowers and everything and let you snack on it. Had a little snuggle with you. And the moment you stood up, telling him you had to unpack from your long work trip, he pulled you back down on the couch. "No way," he had said. "You're tired. Your bags can wait 'til tomorrow. For now, just relax."

And he really had convinced you. He really had. Soon after that, you had gone to your bedroom and gotten snuggled in together, and within minutes, you were fast asleep.

Only to wake up three hours later. You stared at the ceiling for a solid fifteen minutes, unable to fall back asleep as the stress of work and everything you hadn't gotten done and needed to get done crushed you.

Realizing there was no chance of you falling back to sleep now, you slipped out of bed as slowly as you could, as to not wake up your boyfriend, and quietly walked (or rather, stumbled, because of the extreme lack of sleep) to the living room.

And so now you sit on the couch, barely alive, feeling like a lump on a log but on steroids, dealing with work sh*t.

Suddenly, you get a message from one of your co-workers, though. Bad news... You click on it, and in the moment, with everything you've already gone through within the last seventy-two hours, this is enough.

You swallow, your phone slipping out of your hands. I'm trying so hard. How could my job be on the line? Your head falls into your hands, and you let out a angry groan, letting out quick, little breaths.

God, I can't do this. I can't do this anymore. I need help. Please, I need help. I just can't keep doing this any longer. I can't do this anymore.

Your eyes well up, and that turns into a tear. And that tear turns into another one. And those tears turn into crying. And crying into weeping. Tired, pathetic, pitiful weeping, until you're flat-out sobbing, unable to control it. The world spins as another glowing text comes in on your phone on the rug and your laptop shows more emails and the bags in the corner of the room are still full of your things from the work trip and and and and and...

Suddenly, strong, warm arms around your trembling body. You lean into your boyfriend's body, blubbering between gasps, "Pedri you weren't supposed to wake up... I know you're going through a lot too... I don't want to stress you out... I'm sorry..."

"Shhh," he soothes, rubbing your back. "Do you really think you're on your own? My love, we help and love each other. You can be vulnerable. I know it's hard. Don't you think for a second that I don't want to help you."

"This isn't your problem..."

"Your problem is my problem, because I love you," he mutters close to your ear. He gently closes your laptop and powers off your phone. "You don't need to worry about that right now."

"Pedri-" You grip his shirt, looking at him slightly manically. "Yes I do. I could lose my job."

His jaw tightens, but he says, "What you're doing is impossible. If you lose your job because it's too hard, then maybe you shouldn't be in this job. And it's not because you're a failure. It's because you're expected to do much more than anyone should be able to handle. If you lose your job, I'll be the first to support you until you can get a new one. Okay? But we don't even need to worry about that right now, okay?"

"But-"

Suddenly he takes your wet, tear-stained cheeks in his hands, and looks at you earnestly right in the eyes. "But right now, you need to calm down. Come on; why don't we go to the bedroom, okay?"

"Uh- y- yeah," you get up, feeling terrible at how much a mess you are. Pedri walks to the bedroom with you, his arm around your shoulders the whole time. He fetches a damp rag and gently wipes your face with the cool towel. You shut your eyes, letting out a shaky breath as Pedri pulls the blanket up to your torso. You lean back, sitting upright on the blanket.

"Can I get anything for you?" he asks after he finishes, taking your hand gently.

You shake your head 'no'. "Just sit down. All I need is you."

He nods and slips onto the bed and under the blanket next to you. Straight away, you lean your head on his shoulder and clutch his hand in yours. "Y/n, you know that it'll be okay," he murmurs. Not even a question. A fact. You know that you'll be okay.

"But Pedri, what if..."

"No 'what if's right now, okay?" He pulls you closer to you, rubbing your shoulders. You sit quietly together for a while, before Pedri slowly sinks into a laying down position, pulling you down with him. You snuggle close to him, resting your head on his chest. When you yawn, he says, "You're tired. Anything I can do to help you sleep?"

You breathe gently. "Just... talk to me."

He nods and starts whispering. At first, you listen to the sweet little things he's saying as he gently strokes your hair, but soon you're too tired to comprehend them. Soon your eyes are fluttering shut, and your mind is switching from daytime thoughts to nighttime dreaming.

Within your dream, you feel a soft kiss on your forehead and Pedri's perfect sweet-as-honey voice murmur, "Buenas noches, mi amor."

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for watching a movie as a family without including my dad? Writing it out, I think I know the answer, but this has still been bugging me.

Around Thanksgiving I (30s) visited home. It was also a trip to see for my mom (late 60s) for her birthday, so I was there for a few days longer than a Thanksgiving trip would normally account for. My brother (30s) and his wife (30s) visited for her birthday too. My dad (early 70s) was there as well. They've been married over 30 years. Originally I'd planned to take everybody out to see a movie as a birthday present for my mom...but it turned out there was literally nothing at the theater that my mom was interested in at all. The town is pretty small, and the options were limited. So instead, we started out with a nice dinner, and family board game run-through of a trivia game we all thought we'd have some fun with. My mom ended up winning, which is rare and was not deliberate, and it wrapped the game up way faster than we'd anticipated.

My dad immediately went back into the living room after the game ended, openly a little annoyed that mom had won a trivia game based on something he considers himself the family expert in. He watches old reruns of the show he's seen a million times on a loop every day, and it can be pulling teeth to get him to do anything else. It was just a fluke, but something the rest of us considered a pleasant surprise since none of us had expected she'd win. But he was annoyed. Given that it was still early, Mom suggested we find a movie to watch online, so we could all wind down before bed with something the whole family could enjoy.

Dad said no. Now this feels like important context: I...have a lot of problems with my dad. I love him, but he can be extremely emotionally immature. Downright verbally abusive at times. And very petty. I'm in therapy in no small part due to some of the insecurities he instilled in me over the years. I've worked hard to set basic boundaries with him. He also has multiple medical issues, and I'm pretty sure he has untreated depression and other mental health problems he refuses to acknowledge that contribute to him flying off the handle at a moment's notice. That, combined with the fact that my mom will 100% never, ever leave him, because she was raised in a very specific mindset that she's never been fully able to shake...means my brother and I usually have to grit our teeth when he starts ranting/yelling/complaining during a visit, or we'd just end up ruining the day for our mom. She's done so much for us, and we just wanted her to have a good visit. So, that's what I did for most of the trip. I breathed deep when my dad openly mocked my stutter, and refused to get in a fight about it. I stopped myself from getting visibly upset when he tried to feed my cat table scraps even when I told him the cat needs a special diet. On other days I tried to watch his old shows with him, and ignored the sexist comments he'd make about the female leads, all for the sake of keeping the peace.

But, it was Mom's birthday. And she wanted to watch a movie.

And Dad said no.

He refused to give up his marathon of old westerns from 60 years ago to watch a new movie with his family on the big tv in the living room.

My mom seemed disappointed, so I suggested we watch one on my laptop in the kitchen instead. Without my dad, if he really wanted to watch his show instead. She agreed, and my brother, his wife, my mom and I filed into the kitchen, sat in less-than-comfy chairs, and watched a fantasy heist film that I'd thought they would all enjoy. And they did. My brother was pleasantly surprised at the quality of the movie (I'd already vouched for it being good, none of the others had seen it previously) His wife kept making notes for her dnd campaign. My mom found it hilarious, and liked that some actors from another show she liked were in it.

My dad stayed in the living room, watching his marathon.

Partway through the movie, he came in and asked us what we were watching. We told him, and he passed through the kitchen for something he needed, then said that we were being too loud. More context: the kitchen is right next to the living room, but my dad turns the tv up so loud in there it can get physically painful to be in the room with him. He refuses to get hearing aides, and only recently relented on subtitles. He also has a habit of screaming at anyone who tries to talk for a long time when his shows are on and they're in earshot, even if they're in a different room. We thought he couldn't hear it over his tv, and so when he said something we said sorry and that we'd try to keep it down, but we could already barely hear it through the laptop speakers. We already had subtitles turned on to make sure we didn't miss anything. When we told him that, he got even more annoyed. He asked how we'd like it if he turned the tv up so loud we couldn't understand anything, then proceeded to go into the living room and do just that, just as I was trying to figure out how much more we could lower the volume without losing our whole experience. We called in that we were already turning it down, and he finally turned his volume back down as well. We finished our movie, turning the volume down during action scenes and up during speaking scenes so we could actually hear the dialog. We enjoyed the rest of the film, and then people started getting ready for bed, and my mom went to check on my dad. She told me a few minutes later that he was hurt that we'd watched the movie without him. That he felt left out. I told her that he'd had multiple opportunities to join us, and that is was his choice not to watch with us. And honestly, the fact that he wouldn't give up the real tv for a couple hours so she could have a birthday movie was really upsetting to me.

She still seemed to feel bad that he was left out, and I'm a little worried that he might've sulked for days afterwards, leaving my mom in an even more stressful environment after I left. Am I the asshole for insisting my mom get to watch a movie on her birthday? And would I be the asshole if I told my dad off for what I consider to be extremely selfish behavior?

Also before anyone asks, no, I'm not cutting him off. It's literally impossible to do that without pretty much cutting off my mom as well, and she absolutely doesn't deserve that. And yes, I've offered up my apartment as a place she can stay if she ever needs to. Repeatedly. She hasn't taken me up on it yet.

What are these acronyms?

[jaythelay]

Dump's outta ammo.

1. He tried to start a rumor of Biden coming back. He then, very exceptionally poorly, tried to insert this talking point in the middle of a completely different rally. This, made him look like he has dementia. But make no mistake, the issue was nobody believed him literally instantly, and everyone forgot he even said it the week/day prior because he never built it up. He then immedietely dropped the "Biden's coming back" bit afterwards. Making him look far more dementia riddled than previous.

2. He's trying to claim nobody know's Kamala Harris' last name. Only reason to try this angle is because you're outta ammo and wanted to somehow make her name less recognizable in the moment. But soon after, much like with point 1, he went in too early before it could spread and become common, and thus, had to drop that angle entirely aswell, causing more dementia awareness of himself.

It's like he wanted an instant "her emails" or "his laptop" angle without any time or work at fucking all.

The goal is make shit up til something sticks but it's so old and tired and he's incapable of patience. If it doesn't immedietely work, he jumps to another made up point. Much like with point 1 and 2, point 0 was "Kamala ain't black" which he then, also, abandoned when it didn't immedietly stick.

His cohorts are trying to make it stick but if you call them weird they get reeeeeal defensive and forget what the conversation was, so, the points aren't sticking at all.

3. Him almost getting shot by one of his own party absolutely scared the shit out of him. It's partly why he's sending Vance out. Let him get shot next time, not Dump. Regardless of accuracy on that bit, the fact remains, Republican voters Scared Donald Trump from going to rallies, and Vance is a bodyshield for his weak ass.

4. On top of all this is the stunning double fact: One, is that we all collectively moved on from the republican shooting dump situation, because republican violence is so normalized, and second, his rallies are shrinking Because Even The People Find Them Too Dangerous.

Turns out guns are a problem for republicans. But unlike kids in school, they have the choice not to go to a dangerous republican gathering.

All this to culminate in my theory: R's will drop Dump 2 months in and just accept the losses by replacing him with god knows who probably RFK tbh. They know his goose is completely cooked if he loses, and presently? He's losing. Publically and Loudly.

He's scared as fuck right now and R's eat each other for any social weakness they can create. Dump looks weaker than inch thin frozen piss like my god Cruz has more of a spine now and it may be entirely due to age.

You also have his core fanbae (white supremecists) starting to turn on him. There's leak after leak of stuff he's saying none of it new but desperately old and tried and thus nothing sticks for his fanbase. Every poll has him losing hard, worst of all? To a Bi-Racial Woman. His voters hate her but hate a weak man more. (see how they view trans issues)

He himself will never ever drop out. But his party Absolutely Will Kick Him Out Guaranteed. And we'll see a very bizarre flop in the narrative about Dump from R talking heads. Suddenly when he's gone, they can be honest about him. (Like dems with Biden, literally already, as I called it probably a year ago now)

All this to say, Ya'll if he doesn't have a stroke or some shit, it's either his voter base or cohorts that'll ensure one for him. I kinda feel like most of the political violence that'll come out when Dump loses, will turn inward near immedietely, likely, towards himself.

I mean, they didn't make gallows with a dems name on em, and they did kill some cops, just saying they appear to go after their own when they're in crowds. That and a single gunshot sent them all running, and a single black man completely diverted their attention from their actual goals simply by being black. Literal Toddlers are more successful in any of their goals.

NONE of this is to placate. Vote Kamala, vote Third Party. Just don't not vote. Don't let this opportunity slip away, Dems actually trying is a first in a lifetime, keep that momentum going, and stop allowing bullshit based on party affiliation. God damn RFK the starved brain word dude is considered dem, we deserve better than Biden or RFK, and Kamala/Walz is a hell of a start.

Vote. But ensure you crush R's voting spirit.

We don't need nazis voting for nazis. Ya don't have to sell Kamala/Walz to R's, you need to make R's and Dump appear as weak as they've always been, that's what is working best, because their image is actually everything, we saw it with Rittenhouse and Rogan. Immedietely flip flop because their image was made weak.

That's all a theory, a politic theory. Thank. go now.

[cxtherine]

spencer reid x fem! reader - all too well chapter II- i love you, i'm sorry

a/n: i literally had to rewrite all of this, so i'm weeks behind where i wanted to be because my laptop deleted this, and the next 2 chapters so i'm sorry it's so late

tw: bodily harm, gore, unrequited love etc.character death, train crashes.

when the train doors slam behind me, i know it's too late. i should've probably thought it through more than i did- but at least the slam was satisfying enough, bags in one hand with my favourite things. i've left everything i've ever known behind. 8-year-old me would've been upset, but now i'm sort of numb, like the way you just get used to cold ice cream on a hot day.

the sky, though, is gorgeous. perfect ambers and pinks, sinking down with the sun. if i could, i'd paint it.

the train is almost empty, and i sit down by myself, in one of the seats with a table so i can put my bags underneath, and my phone and water on the table. the scenery that's starting to flash by outside the huge window is stunning, and it's perfect for me to reminisce on everything that led up to my somewhat-running-away to start a new life, to get away from who i'd become.

when i was a little girl, people used to tell me i should be a lawyer. it was their own, politely masked way of saying i was rude, outspoken. i'd hated my loudness, and knew it wouldn't do me any favours. in the end, i suppose it did.

i met my ex-boyfreind, spencer reid, because i was shouting at a man on the train for my first day at work. he'd touched me inappropriately, and in my disgust, stress, and evident anger i'd yelled in his face. it was then that spencer stepped in, the doe-like brown eyes i'll never forget flickering with concern, and then disgust as they landed on the man i'd been confronting. his hand slid into mine, and it was clammy but somehow, for a stranger, oddly comforting. it was half-an-hour of awkward, polite conversation with spencer after he'd intervened, that made me realise he was going to be one of my new colleages.

it was half a week after that that he became my best freind. we'd done everything together- dr who conventions, nerdy as it seems- and we sat together on every flight to and from cases for work, and just enjoyed the freindship we had. he taught me chess, which i was awful at, and then every card game under the sun. it was a surprise, really, when it became my three year anniversary of working with him, and three years of him being my closest freind and supporter.

more unsurprisingly, we fell in love. it was just perfect, like the movies i would've watched as a teenager on my parent's old TV. coffee shop dates, pinkies interlinked, winter walks. kisses at work, kisses at home and under that big old oak in the town center. in short, everything was just as i'd hoped for all my life. i had a job which made a difference, and a boyfreind who was as kind as he was handsome. i met his mom, and he met mine- diana and i formed a bond, over laughing at his childhood pictures.

maybe i was naive to expect it to stay that way.

it'd been 4 months, of perfect, pure love. we sat on the bench, beneath the oak tree where we'd first kissed, where we'd talked about children and marriage and..other things. every 'thing' we could possibly think of. i hadn't really planned it, spencer'd always been more organised than me, but when i told him i loved him, i wished he'd said it back.

i knew, and still do, what spencer's been through. love has let him down, over and over, but i really thought that we were the greatest thing in each other's lives. 'i'm sorry' isn't exactly a typical response to your girlfreind saying she loves you.

the angry, disappointed little girl who just wanted love had taken over. we'd fought, of course, like any couple does,but it was worse. so much was said. too much, so much that i cried and yelled until my eyes and throat felt scarlet and he just.. blinked those big doe eyes,like i was being irrational, like i was the problem, and left.

left,like both of us had promised we never would. i ran, and i ran faster than i ever have. booked a train ticket, sold my flat. bought another one, upstate and hours away. resigned from the BAU, found another job as easily as that can happen.

i'm going to hate my new job. i know that already. tucked into my train seat, i sigh. the train is finally out of Quantico, and i feel the tenseness that has slipped through the cracks in my heart and into my bones slowly, slowly leaking away. i never really believed in heartbreak. maybe soul-break is the better term, because there's no part of me that doesn't feel utterly destroyed.

the train jolts, and the sip i'd been taking of my water splashes down my front. confused, i rise to my feet. a few minutes later, we're still stuck. i just want to leave. i follow the carriages to the engine-room, irritated. why can't anyone just help me escape? i hate it here.

there's a body, and it makes me jump. slumped on his side, blood pooling down his chest. the profiler in me knows it's been an efficient kill, by someone impatient and well-trained. a perfect slit through the carotid, and then, when i turn him over, fingers trembling, the human in me makes me gag.

his stomach is cut, wide and deep and enough to expose his stomach. suddenly, everything is too bright, too much. i can't even profile what the hell's going on, because there's a honking in my ears, loud and deep and irritating. i straighten up, and look out of the train window.

there's another train, coming right towards this one. i realise there's nothing i can do at the same time that i realise i'm going to die, and then there's the crash, and everything vanishes.

[0oolookitsme]

No More Kisses

Type- One-Shoty Blurb!

Verse- Footballer!Harry x Art Director!Y/n

Word Count- 1k

Warnings- Just a few curse words here and there, and a slight hint of smut :)

A/n- Some fratrry! Hope you enjoy <3

The game's season was to begin in one month, and Harry hasn't never felt more prepared. He's ready to tackle teams and get this over with.

All of this practise has been draining him down and the fact that the college literally wouldn't give them any breaks meant that it was practise, classes, practise and finally sleep. Whether he drank water or ate his meals between the gaps didn't matter as long as he was on the top.

Even Y/n hadn't been having the time to breath, in the midst of all this mid semester chaos – let alone call and check up on him and show up during his evening practices so that they can go back to the frat house together.

He missed her, terribly.

They would talk, but only in the mornings and the nights. And even then they didn't get to have a proper conversation because they were just so tired all the time, or busy. Early mornings and late nights had always been their thing, but to not spend that extra time with each other was something new.

Hell even not spending their usual time together was new; strange.

Sitting together on the floor of one of their rooms -- usually Harry's considering Y/n's room floor was always covered in miscellaneous things, and these days even her bed was occupied by half-finished or just-started projects -- they would just swing their arms or legs over the other one and work on their laptops.

As Harry finally packs up to go back to the house, late again, he feels his phone begin to buzz in his pocket. It was Y/n he saw and immediately he was swiping his thumb across the screen to answer the call.

"Hello," he says without much exaggeration, but he knows that she knows he has a huge smile on his face as he looks at the ground, one hand on his hip as he waits for her to reply.

"Whatever happened to love or darling?"

Stifling a laugh, he swung his bag over his shoulders before giving her the greeting she wanted. "Hello my sweet, sweet darling," he greeted, weighing down on the pet name.

"Yeah fuck you too," she retorted, laughing on the other hand. "I just called to ask if I could use a very small, hear me out! – a very small space on your room's floor to lay down a project?" She sheepishly trailed off.

Y/n knew she didn't need to ask him that, but it was a topic Harry always teased her about, saying 'does being an Art Director of your club mean you can't even step in your own room, hm?' and she thought it was about time that he worried about it too.

"Y/n... No. You cannot take over my room now!"

"Pretty please, H! You know what? I'll let you take a candle of mine. How about that?" She offered, feeling smug like a winner.

Both of them knew that it was an instant offer to get Harry to do anything, just give him any one of Y/n's candles. Still he made a show of grumbling and finally muttered a 'fine'.

"Thank you! May God bless you my dear," She cackled before hanging up on him, leaving him shaking his head as he slipped his phone back in his pocket.

The drive back to the frat house was filled with Niall chattering Harry's ear off as if he hadn't been getting smacked in the face while goal-keeping this whole day.

Turning off the engine, Harry muttered something about Niall influencing Y/n under his breath when Niall jumped out of the car, made the same old-creepy-man joke and called him a 'dear'.

When Harry finally entered his room, he wasn't surprised to see Y/n sprawled on his floor but he was definitely shocked to see a candle lit on his desk.

"Can't believe you stuck to your words!" He said while deeply breathing in the scent of the candle -- it gave vanilla with a hint of the smell of soil after it had just rained, and Harry knew he was never letting her take that candle back.

"Well, I can be good sometimes," Y/n shrugged without looking up from the sheet she was working on.

"That really is a shocker coming from you, grump," Harry said, his voice getting closer to Y/n with each step he took and then his hands slipped under her armpits, pulling her up. "And, I like you bad," he stated, glancing at her lips.

Y/n supported herself by her legs despite whining at him to put her down. "First of all, you smell horrendous, second of all, what the hell was that for? And third of all, that was not hot." She ranted, a little serious but her look of suspicion made him laugh.

"Missed your mouthy ass," he mumbled before crashing his lips right onto hers, pushing her back while she shrieked, warning him not to step on that sheet.

Her hands slipped past his shoulders to fist the baby curls at the nape of his neck, playing and pulling at them gently. His hands, though, travelled all over her body. Her chest, breasts, abdomen, stomach, hips, thighs – to slipping right past where she was beginning to ache and squeezing her bum, caressing her back that had been hunched over papers all day long and finally one hand went to fist her hair, the other one slipping down and down until his fingers reached the bottom of her bum.

Wrapping her legs around his hips, Harry started to move towards the bathroom, his hold on her tightening by each minute and the moment she realized what Harry had done, water was already pouring on them and starting to soak their clothes.

"I literally hate you so much," she said as they both hurried to take off their clothes.

Chuckling, Harry asked, "no kissing tomorrow?"

"No kissing tomorrow," Y/n assured him, nodding her head and then laughing with him knowing that there was no way that rule would be put into practise.

[anotheroceanid]

I wrote this sleepy, directly on my laptop and barely revised it, please have it in mind!!!

Your treat. @perseabeth @orchardsong

For context to everyone else, this is a unfinished one shot I was writing for the WTHB series, but I literally just made two scenes and called it a day and went back to the main story lol

Her eyes are only slightly closed as she enjoys the sun kisses on her skin. Percy tries not too look flushed while she help one of the new campers on how to hold a sword properly.

‘Are you alright, Miss Jackson?’ The little girl asks. ‘You’re red.’

Percy is obviously failing.

‘It’s never this hot in Atlantis. I think I got used to weather there.’

‘Oh, there must be nice. I don’t like when it’s hot.’

      It would be a surprise if she did. The was Boreas’ daughter. And Canadian.

‘It is. But I like warmth, too.’

For a second, Percy was silently judged by a seven-year-old girl, ‘Well, guess even the Hero of Olympus can have poor taste. If the barrier controls the weather, couldn’t someone turn on it’s AC?’

Percy wheezed as she heard an indignant "Hum!" near her ear. The sun tickled her cheeks, and Percy smiled softly.

‘Hey, do not wave the sword so… fast…’ She mumbled as one of Hermes’ boy threw his weapon a few metres away. Thank gods it was a wooden sword, because it hit right in the head of one of Demeter’s children, who immediately started screaming.

‘Keep going, Anne, you’re doing fine.’ Percy praised the daughter of Boreas as she ran the other way, where the six-year-old boy cried. ‘Chill, chill. It’s alright!’ She bent down to be at the child's height, so she could verify it’s head. ‘It’s alright, right?’ She whispered as low as possible, so the young campers that reunited around her wouldn’t listen.

‘Yup. Just good old drama.’ Apollo answered. Only her could hear him.

‘Great! I mean, hey it’s not bad, you know? You’re tough!’ Percy cheered, and the six-year-old seemed sceptical. ‘It’s just a little ouchie, isn’t it?’

‘No!’ He claimed loudly, hand dramatically placed on his head. ‘It’s a big ouchie! Kiss it!’

Percy blinked for a moment. Oh, this is cute. ‘Of course, of course.’ She said, as she kissed his forehead. ‘Is it better now or do you think you need to go to the infirmary get some syrup!’

‘I’m fine!’ He cheered. ‘No syrup, it’s disgusting.’

‘Okay, no syrup then.’ Percy laughed, and she heard Apollo giggling too. ‘Now get your sword and go back to practice, okay? Nico, would you assist me, please?’

On a distant corner, wearing a black hiking jacket that would make Percy melt in that heat, Nico Di Angelo frowned. ‘Am I not, already?’

‘The idea is to, for example, not let people accidentally throw swords on each other.’ Percy mouthed.

‘I don’t like kids.’

‘Then why did you offer help, Mr Retiree?’

‘Technically, I could be.’ Nico said.

‘Technically, he could be.’ Apollo muttered, at the exact same moment.

‘… and it was either that or helping with the strawberries. The dryads say I’m terrible with plants.’ The dryads are correct, Percy silently agreed, but said nothing. ‘But I’m terrible with kids too, so…’

‘You’re not terrible with kids. They are very welcoming if you try.’ Percy encouraged, though Nico didn’t seem convinced. ‘For cookies, then?’

Nico seemed to ponder for a moment. ‘Don’t draw skulls on them this time.’ He turned, moving toward the same son of Hermes, who looked at Nico like he was the coolest guy alive.

‘That’s a low blow, love.’ Apollo whispered, and she felt his fingertips stroking her neck. She felt a shiver down her spine. ‘Can I get cookies too?’

‘Stop that!’ She mumbled, trying to move her lips as little as possible. She had gotten pretty good at it recently; though it was particularly easier when she was surrounded by little kids she towered over. But poor Nico… Well, he was too overwhelmed by the speed the son of Hermes talked to pay attention to her. If his eyes grow any bigger, they’d fall out of his face.

Apollo chuckled. ‘Took me a lot of effort to get here. If anything, it’s your fault I turned touchy.’

Percy knew she was red like a tomato. ‘You’ve always been touchy.’

‘Unfortunately, I tend to get worse with time.’ He kissed one of Percy’s shoulders. ‘Will you come to Delos with me for the weekend?’

She bit her lip, knowing she should say no. However, it was not like Percy had anything to do at camp in the weekend. The friends that’d be at camp would be engaging in activities Percy had been avoiding and the other friends… Well, not her age. Percy didn’t see herself spending the entire weekend playing UNO with Cabin 7 and Nico, either.

Technically, she could go to Atlantis. There was no downside to that, even if sometimes Triton could be a bit overwhelming as an older brother. Then, father allowed Triton to be overwhelming, so she blamed it on him. Besides that, it was always fun in Atlantis…

‘Or…’ Percy started, ignoring completely her previous line of thoughts. ‘You could come to my mother’s apartment.’ Apollo got silent. Percy blushed. ‘Unless it’s something terribly offensive to invite a god to your mother’s apartment for a weekend. In this case, ignore what I just said.’

‘Do you want me to meet your mom?’ He whispered softly, and Percy felt his breath near her neck.

‘You know my mom.’ She answered, exasperated at the closeness. ‘Dude, I really need to focus on not letting a kid not pluck an eye from another.’

He ignored what she just said and kept going. ‘I saw your mom. Once. That didn’t count.’

‘You talked to her.’

‘Artemis talked to her. I just stood there and nodded trying to not look stupid.’

This was Percy’s time to chuckle. ‘Artemis would argue you failed.’

‘I would argue I failed that day! I’m pretty sure I was smiling a little too much. Didn’t she spoke to you about me?’

‘Nope. Not a word.’ Mostly because Percy blackout-ed a few hours after the Laurel Wreath Ceremony and didn’t remember most of it, because no one thought about telling her the free drinks weren’t alcohol free. Bless Rhode for helping her and keeping it a secret.

‘See? I caused a bad impression.’ He professed dramatically. ‘You cannot ask me to just show up in your door one random weekend and then meet your mom, I need planning time. I need to gather gifts, and maybe write a poem or a music to her.’

Percy pictured Apollo showing up at their door with a millionaire collection of jewellery and the next Billboard Hot 100 number one hit. That wasn’t the way Percy wanted her mom and Paul to meet her boyfriend. Boyfriend? Can she call him that? Secret boyfriend? Friend-with-Benefits who walk holding hands in Paris? Friends’ brother who she kissed indiscriminately when they were left alone? Friends’ dad she got cosy with? Percy never brought up the topic, and sincerely she was a bit nervous to do so, but she wondered what she should call it.

Not that she would be announcing it to anyone any time soon. Or ever. Well, ever was a long time to count with, but she’s not spilling the tea the next girls’ night.

‘My mom won’t be there.’ Percy revealed, licking her lips timidly. ‘She and Paul are visiting his family, so… We would be alone.’

Which wasn’t the case in Delos.

His mom was there. Leto was amazing, but that all knowing grin she would give them made her feel scandalous. Additionally, Percy would like to have a moment with her Call-It-What-You-Want without Thalia, Artemis and Hermes playing UNO on the living room. It was not as if she intended doing anything, Percy simply didn’t want that feeling of being watched.

‘Oh…’ Apollo sang devilishly. ‘This won’t help me cause a good first impression.’ He laughed, obviously finding fun in it all. ‘Which isn’t fair, considering my whole family adores you. And don’t dare arguing with me, you know it’s true. I’m talking about the side of the family that matters, by the way.’

They remained quiet for a second, then Percy spoke. ‘So, is it no?’

‘It’s an absolute "I’ll be there!", I’m just thinking how I’ll make it up for your mom… Any idea?’

‘My mom is chill; she won’t hate you for coming over when she’s out. Mom always says I can bring in, hm… ‘Boys, but he didn’t need to know that. ‘…friends.’

Silence, again. ‘Her favourite singer is definitely getting a Grammy next year.’

‘Her favourite singer is Freddie Mercury.’

‘Your family definitely hates me, my love…’

Mr D almost cries when she tells him and Chiron that she is leaving to spend the weekend "with her mom". Well, he didn’t cry. But he cried out a ‘You’re leaving me alone with them?!’ As he pointed his finger to a group of toddler demigods who played in the carpet. Apparently, they invaded Big House and refused to get out without a fight.

Chiron also gave her a pleading look as one of the toddlers pulled his tail. ‘Is it urgent?’ He asks, silently agreeing with Mr D.

‘I mean, she’s happy that I improved with the whole thing with the war, so we wanted to spend some time together, you know? Like the old times. Words like "gatekeeper" and "fight" were used against my father.’ Being around Hermes made lie much easier for her. Percy wondered it was some sort of blessing or if she was just learning it by familiarity.

‘Can’t you go next week?’ Mr D asked, as he moved his hands to flout a pointy pen out of one of the toddlers’ hands. The poor kid started to cry. ‘Or next month? Your mom won’t run away, Penny Johnson!’

She held a laughter as she watched Mr D pick up the child and try desperately to stop the monstrous tantrum over a pen. ‘They won’t grow in a week.’ She retorted, smiling devilishly.

‘Maybe we should get a permission on Olympus to age every kid to twelve as soon as they cross the barrier for the first time.’ Mr D suggested, looking rather serious.

‘You’re not doing that!’ She and Chiron rushed to suppress that absurd idea before the other gods heard it.

‘Oh, as if I didn’t suffer enough…’ Dionysus sighed. ‘How people do it without drinking?’

‘Preferably, everyone should do it without drinking.’ Percy frowned. ‘Give me the child, would you?’ She stepped in and stole away the toddler from his arms. He didn’t even fret from releasing them.

Percy rocked the toddler cheerfully, and they quickly forget why they were crying.

‘Just take them with you! Actually, why don’t you keep them?’ He suggested, as if it was the most brilliant thought someone could ever come out with.

‘I’m seventeen!’ She remembered to him.

‘Back on my days, you’d have a litter of your own already… Your mother will be there, won’t she?’ Oh, yeah, that… ‘A souvenir from Camp Half-Blood, isn’t it nice?’

Without even thinking twice, Percy come up with an answer. ‘It’s not her job to take care of other people’s kids.’

‘And is it mine?’ Dionysus pointed out to himself, and as Chiron and Percy opened their mouths to answer, with a finger raised, he added, ‘It’s a rhetoric question.’

‘So, here’s my rhetoric answer: tire them until they sleep and pray it last for a few hours. That was what mom did to me when I was this age.’

She put the toddler on the ground, and it ran to hug Mr D legs, who shrieked like he had just been electrocuted.

Percy grinned and left the Big House.

It’s almost night. She needs a bath. Camp got so crowded ever since the end of the war that the days felt longer with all the additional classes, they needed to encompass all different age ranges; not that the veterans would use it as an excuse to skip the underground parties. They were more frequent when Pollux was around. However, he had been pre-emptively sent to a spiritual retreat with the Maenads. A fancy way to say he’s temporary exiled from Camp, because apparently some gods (Athena) didn’t like the "bad influence" he had on their children (Annabeth). The Gods weren’t thinking straight if they thought teenagers would let his legacy go to waste.

The Stolls were getting a lot of money with the parties. With the brilliant mind of Leo Valdez, one of the campers that arrived last winter, they were literally keep the Underground alive. Percy suspected that Mr D knew but kept quiet about it because he didn’t want to spoil everyone’s fun—especially when this fun kept his domain so close to him.

Percy watched as some nymphs giggled as they whispered to each other. The nature spirits were having the time of their lives. Good for them. Still, she had other plans.

From the Aphrodite Cabin, Drew waved to her, moving her lips asking if she was coming. Percy mouthed a "No, visiting mom", to what the daughter of Aphrodite made a pout. "Next one, then?" Percy read on her lips, to what Percy laughed and shrugged.

[kimmiessimmies]

About aches and pains

I haven't been able to make as much progress with Rachel and her dating adventure as I had hoped and the main reason is this.

Lately, I've been getting major neck- and headaches, other than my usual migraines. And suddenly I figured it's probably due to all the time I spend at the table behind my laptop, hunched over. So, I took a brief break and got myself some gadgets to create a new set up to hopefully be able to get going again.

Never mind that I've managed to get myself in other physical pain* which may prevent me from doing much today, but we'll see. The plan is to shoot an already-written scene in which Rachel and Sadie read the messages and explore the profiles of all the guys. It will be a while before I'll share it, which will be after all the dates have been in one big story update, but at least I'll try and work on it. If this old body lets me, haha.

*My daughter's new bed arrived yesterday. Flat pack. I've spent all day, literally 12 hours on end, disassembling old furniture, assembling this bed, drilling holes, hanging shelves, cleaning up, and sorting out. And then I went to bed at 9.30 pm and cried all night because of the worst muscle aches I've ever had. My complete lack of fitness has once again been proven.

[spotaus]

Dang, that redraw hits hard in 2024 🙏

Below are the old versions! (The left is my very very literally first drawing of Ichor! The others followed a few months/years later-)

Some design breakdowns under the cut!

Okay, okay-

^this guy!! I drew him on my janky old laptop with a tiny lil drawing pad right after my Mlp phase in middleschool. He was one of my first designs and I'll confidently say the first utmv oc who made it onto a drawing format. At the time I refused to draw hands correctly and drew claws instead- Ichor here still had his name "Ichor" and was supposed to be a combo between Reaper and Red. He had his chains because he was a fickle God of death who needed to be held back by his fellow gods lest he wreak havoc on the surface. I love this design to death, mostly because I always think back on it to see how far I've come and how Ichor's been here forever! (Note that here he doesn't have his iconic gold tooth or purple arm. His clawed hands inspired me for the purple arm though, and the one spiked white tooth eventually became his gold tooth!)

^ This is post iPad acquisition thanks to my school getting some new funding. I don't think I drew this on procreate but I can't remember the name of the app smh. This version of Ichor was similar to the old one. Less bent on destruction, more just a trickster. (This one and the other one always fell into 'Teenage' vibes). Now he has shoes, the gold tooth, and the arm! Though he still has both eyelights and the 'crack' in his socket is still a gold scar instead. This *is* where I gave him his gray pants, but the slash on his jacket... uhh... swapped directions?? Idk about that one- But fun fact! The spot on his jacket is a mark of how he'd be killed one day if that came to pass! He doesn't know, no one does, but it's true! Old prophecy locked up somewhere in the Ruins. (Actually, Toriel might be aware.) His arm here is super desaturated because I wanted to keep it a minor detail. That changes very quickly 👀

^ He's lanky af!!! I always go through a phase of drawing things too short, then too tall. Welcome to Ichor's Way Too Tall phase! I wanted him to be big and chunky but uhh. That 'silhouette' talk got to me. Here the biggest differences? The hand is out of the pocket and includes his sword! (Which is Canon still) The scarf is here too! At first the scarf was a gift from Reward, then it was from Reward being killed, then it was just a bold fashion choice?(I settled on it being a gift from Reward again, to help him cover the collar) His socket is finally empty, the crack is there too. His teeth are all straight besides the one gold tooth, and the hand is very purple this time. The lore I wanna mention in this bit is the soul! It's constantly been a pale yellow, but here it has a hole in it! This isn't something that stocks, but the idea of it does. Ichir's chains prevent him from healing with his godly magic, so he's stuck on 1 hp. The god's souls are naturally gold, abd here, Ichor's soul was wounded when he was captured, so he's slowly been fighting off death. (In the final version his soul is white with fading gold, showing how his magic is restricted)

^Honorable mention jumpscare because this is actually a sticker I made about 2 years ago? Not exactly the same pose but it was definitely inspired and it shows how certain elements have stuck around since the last doodle. (This sticker is currently on a sketchbook at my house lmao-)

^And then current! I used to be allergic to using the same colors twice, so he used to have different shades of yellow abd gold everywhere. Now the yellow/gold is all the same! His eyebags (which started in the Lanky era) are more pronounced, he's more classic-shaped than he's ever been, and as per usual I don't think I drew his purple hand right. But! He's my boy, and that's what matters! Side note: His chains aren't visible here, but that's because I've decided that he prefers to hide them. His sleeves are puffy so he can tuck them away, his scarf covers the length of the chain on his collar, etc. It just doesn't make narrative sense that he'd leave them exposed like that. He's also in his old man era finally! Been trying to draw him like this fir years!!!

[chosen-hero-inari]

Whumptober Day 1: Search Party

A/N: Hello! This year I wanted to do something more lowkey for Whumptober so I tried to keep these to 500 words, and even succeeded with some of them! So if you're wondering why my fics are shorter this year that's why.

~

Anamorphosis

Yusuke is hard to miss. 

It’s not just that he literally sticks out a few inches above other people, it’s how he speaks, how he carries himself. It’s attention-grabbing, to say the least.

So of course, when they ask the shopkeepers and other people who hang around the subway, they’ve all seen Yusuke around, but they haven’t noticed he hasn’t been around the last couple of days.

Yusuke’s all but vanished. 

Maybe someone else would panic at that, but not Ren. Most things can be solved by taking stock and going back to the fundamentals. Figure out what you know, and work from there.

And Ren knows a lot. He knows that Yusuke is easily distracted and can wander a lot of places. He knows Yusuke sometimes forgets to pay for his phone. 

He knows that there are monsters and portals to other worlds that can open up in an instant and make someone disappear. 

Possibilities that no one else would consider.

That’s why he and the others all agreed they would get back to Tokyo the first chance they got, because they knew the authorities couldn’t deal with it.

A week after Yusuke last sent a message to the group chat, They’re gathered in Leblanc and taking stock of anyone Yusuke’s been hanging around. The Metaverse proper is gone, of course, but there’s always parallels.

Sojiro and Sae can handle the traditional methods, their search starts with rumors and forums. There’s no thread worth ignoring.

“Hey, check this out,” Futaba says, moving her laptop so they all can see. The reddit page for Yusuke’s college dorm has a scattering few posts, but one mentions a creepy painting in the hallway.

I swear I saw someone touch it and disappear.

“As good a place to start as any,” Ren says.

He and Makoto go to the dorm and talk their way in by giving the security guard a version of the truth. Of course she’s noticed the weird art kid hasn’t checked in in awhile.

When they reach the hallway, they don’t find the painting. The plaque describing it is there, saying it was painted by an unknown artist and gifted from the Subaru City museum. It’s several decades old, but not much else is known about it.

Makoto asks a passerby about it, and they just shrug and say someone probably got rid of it.

Then they head up to Yusuke’s room, Ren picking the lock easily. 

Yusuke’s new dorm is the same kind of chaos as his old one, but thankfully it’s much bigger and comes with an actual bed.

There are papers and notebooks scattered around, and it seems Yusuke had been very focused on drawing the shadows they encountered in their adventures before, and a couple Ren’s never seen before.

A notepad with the words BUY SIM CARD underlined several times is sitting on the table, along with several names to get in contact with and phone numbers.

One is Katsuya Suou, a private investigator, so Makoto gives him a call and puts it on speaker.

“Katsuya Suou’s office, how can I help you?” 

Makoto nearly drops the phone. That’s Yusuke’s voice.

“Yusuke?” Ren yells. “Are you ok, what happened?”

“Ren? Oh boy, I’m very happy to hear your voice.”

“We could say the same,” Makoto says. “What’s going on, where have you been?”

“Wait, how long has it been?”

“A week.”

There’s a muffled groan on the other side of the phone. “I’m so sorry, the person borrowing my body didn’t know what a sim card was.”

At this point Ren’s not even going to question it.

“Do you need help? What does this have to do with the painting?”

“Ok, so that painting was a message,” Yusuke says, “I just can’t find the people it’s meant for.”

“What does that mean?” 

“It’s… difficult to explain concisely, I don’t understand it myself,” Yusuke says. “Something about that painting… you know what never mind. I wanted to have more concrete information before I called you all on a wild goose chase, but I’m getting concerned. How fast can all of you get to Sumaru City?”

“We can be there by tomorrow, why?” Makoto asks.

“Because I think a cult from the 90s is trying to end the world again.”

[eyitzme]

ᵗᵒʳⁿ ᵖᵃᵍᵉˢ ;; ᵈʳᵈᵗ

Summary: You can tear a page out of a book for countless reasons. The book can have things you don't want to read about, things you don't want others to know, or you simply felt like ripping it out. Whatever the case is, it's impossible to act like the pages were never there. No matter what, there will always be something to prove to you that there are pages missing, and the chances are that you'll know exactly why they're missing. Or, Ace Markey thinks about moments in his life relating to his childhood best friend, Min Jeung. Word Count: 427 A/N: My laptop can only work when it's being plugged in because the battery is dead. I have to use my mom's old one for now, but the fan gets turned on the moment you open it and it bothers me. Anyway, on a note that actually relates to this, this is the first chapter of a short multi-chaptered fic I started working on after Chapter 2's final episode because I started liking imagining Min and Ace as best friends, and them being childhood best friends made it even better. They literally are that in my heart, and you can't convince me otherwise. You can just take this as an advertisement to read this on other sites because Tumblr isn't the best place to post multi-chaptered works. If you're interested in reading more, the links to where you can read it in places where it will eventually have the other chapters will be provided at the end. And don't forget your daily clicks!

the future marks a path unknown to us. pebbles poke at my feet, while thorns poke into yours. we will still walk side by side. do you remember?

The first time Ace Markey met Min Jeung was on the first day of first grade.

Ace didn't want to go to school. He had no friends there. In his first grade class, he already knew were going to be some people from kindergarten, but he didn't like any of them, and none of them liked him. Everyone else there were strangers. With so many people telling him not to trust strangers, it made it hard for him to understand why he was being put in a place with so many of them for so long.

Ace's first grade classroom had desks arranged in rows where there were two desks were pushed next to each other. They were placed randomly to help give the children an opportunity to talk to someone they might never have seen before. His desk was next to a stranger. The first thing he noticed about her was that she had really long hair, and some of it was falling over her eyes. He had immediately wondered if she had ever gone to a barbershop before and if he could introduce her to his. She always smiled when he told her his first opinions about her.

His first words to her were a simple, "Hi." He had decided that the new girl couldn't be that bad and was trying to get someone to play with at recess. He had no one else, so he might as well take advantage of what the teacher had tried to do.

The girl looked at him with really bright purple eyes. They looked so unnatural that, back then, he thought they looked weird, and it was good her hair was starting to cover them up. "Hi," she said.

"My name is Ace," he said. "What is your name?"

"Min," she said.

"Where do you come from?"

"My country?"

"No, school."

"Another town."

"You moved here? From where?" Ace had never moved before, but he saw it a lot on TV shows. His past self could never see himself leaving his home to move into another one down the street, let alone leaving the United States of America to live somewhere else entirely.

"I can show you on a map."

"What is a map?"

Min gave him a look he never saw anyone have before. She was suddenly interested in her school supplies. Now, Ace knew Min had thought he was stupid, but back then, he didn't know what he did. All he did know was that he wasn't going to be playing with anyone at recess today.

Short chapter, but that's really how they all are. Anyway, if you want to read more, you can read it on Wattpad or AO3! Please note that the rest of this work will have spoilers for Chapter 1 and Chapter 2. It's just this chapter that didn't have it. If you would rather read more on Tumblr, just ask me for the next part. I won't constantly be updating this on Tumblr though, especially with my laptop deciding it lived a long enough life, so it's up to you to keep asking for new parts. Still, if you got this far, thank you for reading!

[secretlywritingstories]

some of the most normal pictures | phan one shot

Summary: Phil took many photos of Dan. It was second nature. To capture this life that they shared and this man that he got to share it with. Each moment precious, captured when Dan was his most relaxed and at ease. And they're completely normal. Of course.

Behind the scenes look at each of the photos from this year's birthday tweet from Phil to Dan

Tags: Established relationship, domestic fluff, photographs, introspection, 4+1 times

Word count: 5.2k

No warnings

A/N: Written for @dandp who won a fic from @phandomgives' @phandomraffle for Dan's birthday! I hope you like it! (Also oops my 2-5k fic ended up at 5.2k, no one who knows me is surprised).

Read on AO3 or below

Dan was continuing his valiant effort to make a new sofa crease shaped to his butt, melting into the cushions. Phil loved when they packed their laptops away and enjoyed a quiet evening together. It was one of his favourite times of the day. A part of their lives that felt sacred in a way.

Dan was looking particularly soft today. Crinkled grey pyjamas, fluffy hair and a slight burn to his skin. They had gone outside yesterday and he’d forgotten about the sunscreen, and then he’d complained because Phil was usually the one reminding him that he needed to put it on in the first place.

Sometimes, it struck Phil fast and hard that he got to have this. A shared life with the man he loved so dearly. Even when they were just doing random stuff, every experience was enriched by the fact that they were in it together. They got to sit here on their sofa in the home that they literally built to fit them. Decorating had both been fun and stressful, but as most things with Dan, it had been perfect.

“Dan?”

Dan turned his head, eyes soft as soon as they found Phil’s. The golden light from the lamp shone upon him in a way that almost made him glow. It illuminated the slightly burnt appearance of his face, making him look like something almost ethereal. Phil kind of wanted to grab him, kiss him silly, run his hands through his hair, playing with the curls, tracing his thumb across the lines appearing on his forehead. The lines that had appeared slowly in the time that they had spent with each other. He’d got to see it all. See Dan grow up right beside him.

But to reach out and touch would ruin it.

So, he whipped out his phone.

“Wha-”

Phil just shushed him. “Do not move a muscle. Stay right there.”

Phil could see how Dan’s eyes sparkled, mouth pursing slightly as he was about to argue that he wasn’t some type of model for Phil’s viewing pleasure. Or maybe make a joke that Phil would need to paint him like one of his French girls instead of using a phone camera. Either of those options were plausible.

But Dan just relaxed back into the cushions, eyes turning soft again, just staring so intensely at Phil that it almost felt like a bit too much. He knew Dan looked at him like that often but it never got old to see it. To bask in it.

He took a couple of photos and then scrolled through them to see that he’d captured the image he wanted. But as he turned back to Dan, he had moved despite Phil’s strict instructions. At least his hands. Because there was now glass of water balanced on top of his head. Phil wasn’t even sure where he’d gotten that.

“What are you doing?” Phil asked Dan.

Dan made an expression half cringe and half fondness. But he still didn’t move or say anything. It looked like the glass was gently pushing the curls away to make room on his forehead. They really looked so soft.

Phil wasn’t really sure what had possessed Dan to suddenly balance a glass of water on top of his head, but he knew it should be getting documented as well. Phil quickly snapped a photo but even as he lowered his phone, Dan was still holding position. Waiting for Phil to be done. Always one to not only entertain Phil’s whims but also add to them. After all, it was what they had made a life out of.

Phil retrieved the glass carefully, worrying a little for the safety of their sofa. And Dan too. He would probably not get hurt but he would get excessively whiny if he got splashed with water, even if it would be because of himself.

“You can move again now.”

“Oh, I can?” Dan asked, voice pitched into a whine but he still didn’t really move.

So, Phil gave into his other impulse. Multiple impulses should be allowed when it was Dan. He reached out to touch him like he hadn’t wanted to do before. One hand carding through his curls, the other touching his face, soft and warm, just like the touch of his hand.

It was a lovely moment but it also only tenderness wasn’t exactly their method of operations.

“You have a square head,” Phil told him, eyes already smiling because he knew the reaction that would follow.

Dan’s grasp of indignance was instant. Phil was laughing and already raising his arms because he foresaw the pillow thrown his way. He blocked it easily, even though he was now laughing his ass off. Getting reactions out of Dan was always the most fun.

It was only the one pillow attack before Dan gave up, just sighing before settling back into the sofa. He rolled his eyes but the edges of a smile were clinging to his lips. Phil giggled and snugged up close.

It was arguably not the most insane idea that they had but it was rather out there all the same. It was one thing to commission art from one of their fans. They did that with great joy actually, it was so incredibly cool to see the kind of artists that liked to draw them for fun and for the community. Commissioning official art for merch and socials was not quite as unhinged as staging a photoshoot to promote said merch on Twitter.

Once upon a time, Dan would have cringed at the idea. His posts all had to be carefully curated to the point that it almost sent him into a tailspin. He was proud of some of the people that followed him and scaring them into an unfollow had weighed heavily on him before. Not in this new era they had embarked on. It was the era of not giving as many fucks.

So, when Phil jokingly suggested a photoshoot with him as a catboy wearing the merch, well… he hadn’t anticipated not having to fight Dan on it at all. In fact, he was more than game. He had gone to figure out accessories almost immediately.

Cat ears, cat ears bow with a little bell, cat tail and of course, the knee-high baby blue striped socks.

Phil had a feeling that the cat accessories might all end up in their random costume drawer or even donated to a charity shop, while the socks might find their way into Dan’s regular wardrobe to be reused.

They had decided that the bed would be a good place for it but Phil was slightly rethinking that when Dan stretched to adjust the fluffy blanket, so it would lie just right. The catboy jumper was oversized and big on Dan but it still rode up easily when he stretched forward. He was wearing underwear but Phil’s eyes still lingered on his legs.

Phil had seen Dan in all manners of undress one could imagine but seeing only the thighs exposed to his eyes felt almost sinful. But Dan had wanted the photoshoot to both be sexy and funny, so he was definitely hitting the mark well. Going all in because Phil’s boy did not do anything half-heartedly.

“All good?” Phil asked, smirking at Dan’s thoughtful expression as he surveyed the bed and then climbed on with his knees. He was shuffling around kind of awkwardly, reminding Phil a little bit of Bambi on ice.

“What?” Dan asked.

“Awkward being a catboy with those long limbs of yours?”

“Shut up,” Dan said with a smile in his voice. “Or I’ll show you what these long limbs can do.”

And Phil did end up shutting up shortly after because Dan looked good and he gave it his all. They circled through several different poses, Phil snapping endless photos because he knew Dan would want to have options. For most of them, Dan had to have a hand pulling down the front of the jumper or he’d be flashing their audience a bit too much.

He was also making sure to pull the sleeves down over his hands, creating sweater paws just like he’d always done with his hoodies and big shirts ever since they had known each other. Making himself drown in clothes to be cosy. The bare legs weren’t exactly new either. It was something Phil saw a lot around their house.

A couple of times, they stopped for Dan to be able to view the photos to make sure that he had a good selection. Phil could see that Dan was tiring and it was about time to wrap up the session.

“Give me a hiss,” he requested when Dan got back into position for the last couple of poses.

Dan did a doubletake and sent him a funny look.

“… a hiss?”

“Like a naughty catboy,” Phil said.

Dan stopped a snort in his throat. “Do you hear the words coming out of your mouth sometimes?”

“Do I need to? You’re hearing them,” Phil said, putting on his best innocent face.

He had mastered that quite well during the years, even if he only brought it out in private to wind Dan up. They both knew he was far from innocent when it came down to it.

“Fine, you’ll get a naughty, hissing catboy, Philip Michael Lester.”

Breaking out the full name always meant trouble but it was worth it when Dan launched at the camera, hissing with all of his might. It made Phil’s hand almost shake a little, probably further slurring the photos but he hoped at least one would be good.

He liked candid and raw a lot more than Dan who scrutinised over his poses. It was just so much more fun. Phil made sure to snap a photo of himself looking concerned, fitting into the idea that this was a bit unhinged, even if it had initially been Phil’s idea and he very much was on board with it.

Dan looked positively deranged in the hissing photos, as they sat together on the bed afterwards scrolling through the whole section that would eat into so much of Phil’s iPhone storage.

Dan was still in the outfit, fiddling with the edge of his sock where it rested just above his knee. Phil put his hand on top of his to still his movements. And then he might have slid his hand further up Dan’s thigh as soon, as they had put the phone away closing out the photoshoot for good. And maybe the socks were the only thing on Dan moments later, but that was neither here nor there.

Phil himself loved Christmas and the celebration of it all but he couldn’t have his mother beat. In fact, he was pretty sure he had inherited it from her. She did Christmas hard and it was always made to be a big deal ever since he was a kid. He would be looking forward to the month of December as soon as the weather started turning colder.

Lots of baked goods, lots of cosy nights, lots of presents and family times. It was so essential to his life that he remembered being surprised that Christmas for Dan’s family was a much quieter affair. Of course, they celebrated and exchanged presents but it was just the few days up to and after Christmas. It was not a whole ordeal like he’d grown up with.

It was one of the reasons that they always made sure to make a trip north during December to ensure that they saw Phil’s family no matter what. His mother expected the visit with glee every time, perhaps even more now that they usually stayed home for Christmas Eve just the two of them.

It was a relative new development in the decade and a half they had been together. They felt like they could finally tell their families that they weren’t always coming over for Christmas and just spending it with each other. Before coming out, it wasn’t something they could have even properly considered. It would have felt too strange to explain away.

At least for Dan.

Phil knew that his family had known about it for an age, perhaps ever since he’d brought 18-year-old Dan over that December fifteen years ago. It was an unspoken thing between them to not put labels on their relationship publicly just to be safe. Actually, they still didn’t do that publicly but they had started doing it privately to people that they trusted.

This December was a little different though with the gaming channel revived and gamingmas in full swing. It brought back memories of frantically filming and editing videos like they were trapped inside of a hamster wheel. It was fun too, a challenge and something they knew they that brought joy to their audience.

They also had editors to help take the load off now, but that required that they could get raw footage from a video to them in a sensible time. It wasn’t always possible and as such Dan was sat on the sofa with headphones trying desperately to finish up the edit for the trombone cham video that had to go up the same day.

He had volunteered to edit, so Phil wouldn’t lose any time with his family. Initially, he’d tried to retreat to the guest room to be out of the way but Kath had taken one look at him and practically pushed him down to the sofa. No one was allowed to scurry off to their room.

It left him in a perfect position to be filled up with snacks and cookies too, so it wasn’t like Dan was complaining, even if he looked a little bleareyed at the screen while trying to get through their attempts at the musical game. He grimaced sometimes, but only for a moment before a soft smile crept up on his lips or a little chuckle escaped him.

“I thought you had those editors now,” Phil’s mother had said him while she was taking yet another tray of shortbread out of the oven.

“We do,” Phil said. “But we can’t expect them to edit on too short notice. It wouldn’t be fair working conditions.”

Phil had been busy sneaking yet another glance at Dan to try and capture another one of those soft expressions, but when he turned back towards his mother, it was her face that looked kind of soft.

“You’re a good egg,” she said, and reached out to touch his face but with the oven mitt still on. It smelled a little like burnt batter but he just laughed and kept still anyway. “But you’re still making him edit when you’re the one with the editing degree, aren’t you?”

Phil rolled his eyes. “Dan can edit just as well as me, and he can focus better here than I can.”

Kath let out a hum. “Are you sure about that?” she asked and nudged Phil to turn back around.

Dan had somehow wrapped the cord of his headphones around his nose. It looked utterly ridiculous. Phil was whipping out his phone immediately and walking over. Dan turned to look at him but hardly moved, the cord still perfectly on his nose.

“Don’t move,” Phil said, though he realised belatedly that Dan wouldn’t be able to hear when he was wearing the noise cancelling headphones. But he kept still, frozen at Phil’s demand even though he couldn’t hear him.

It wasn’t a stretch to figure out that he wanted to take a photo. Phil loved snapping photos of Dan whenever he was doing something weird. He had a whole hoard of photos like that. Like a dragon with precious jewels.

He had so many photos of Dan that he was pretty sure he was taking up like a third of his camera roll at least. He had more photos of Dan than he had of himself for sure. But who could blame him really?

It was a beautiful photo, the cute Christmas tree framed nicely in the background. His mother had done well again this year, the gold colour scheme really working. Dan had been a little jealous when he’d seen it.

Phil said that they could try to decorate the one they would get similarly but Dan had just rolled his eyes and leaned over to kiss him. Only to mutter that he knew Phil couldn’t stick to a single style and colour scheme if his life depended on it.

Dan didn’t move until Phil lowered his phone.

“How’s it coming along?” Phil asked.

Dan blinked at him, lazily almost like he wasn’t getting enough moisture to his eyes. He pushed off one of the ears of the headphones and dislodged the cord around his nose.

“Oh, you know, just slowly losing my sanity. Why do we choose to play games like this?” Dan said and gestured at the screen.

He didn’t mean it. It had been a hilarious video to film, even if the editing was now giving him trouble.

“We’re close to the finish line, Danny,” Phil reminded him. “Just another week or so.”

“Sure, bub,” Dan said and moved to isolate a section to blow up to full screen.

Phil always had liked Dan’s editing style. It was so distinct to him and it felt even more obvious now that they had other people editing their videos as well. Dan’s humour just bled through so well.

“Thank you,” Phil said, one of those quite moments where he found the words to voice his sincerity. “For taking one for the team.”

“You’re cooking the first night we’re back home, you hear?”

Phil threw back his head and laughed. “I’ll choose what we’re going to eat and order, how about that?”

Despite having designed a kitchen just how they wanted it, they were admittedly not using it a whole lot. They mostly ordered out because it was just so convenient and good. Easy. They could afford it and skip the making dinner altogether, which was also nice because they could order so many more dishes than they were actually capable of making.

Dan narrowed his eyes towards Phil.

“Pick, order and answer the door,” Dan negotiated.

Phil wasn’t a big fan of answering the door, but then again neither was Dan. The two of them had gotten slightly better with age, and the last few years of constant builders in and out of their home had helped build up experience, but it was still an annoyance.

“You’re on.”

“I was not done; I want a shortbread too. Fresh out of the oven,” Dan added.

Phil pushed himself up and turned towards the kitchen to go swipe one for Dan.

“How did you even know they were done? You’ve had your headphones on,” Phil called to him.

“My nose still works,” Dan said with a wide grin.

Dan got his shortbread and he finished the video too. Without wrapping the cord around his nose again, which felt like a loss because it had been a rather cute look, if Phil was being honest.

So, they were baking on the “gaming” channel now too. It had been a long time coming. It was fun to finally allow themselves the freedom to just do whatever. They had bent the rules a little in the past, before the hiatus but they had still tried to keep stuff mainly gaming related.

This was a new era and a joint baking video that would usually go up on either of their personal channels now felt like it fit so much more on DanAndPhilGAMES. It was their joint venture and it felt fitting to push the boundaries of what was going up on that channel. It was the era of giving no fucks and just doing whatever they wanted and it was working out surprisingly well for them at the moment.

Dressing up for baking videos wouldn’t be entirely new but this time, Phil had a very distinct agenda. Dan had sputtered and playfully argued against it when he’d first suggested it but he’d caved soon after. Phil had wanted to see Dan in his Spirit Halloween’s slutty nun costume.

Dan had been in freaking US when he’d bought and worn that for the first and only time. It had been bought as a joke. Phil knew that now. He’d needed a costume and seen it and figured why the fuck not? He’d been coming into his own during his We’re all Doomed tour, even though he still called Phil almost every day to chat.

That American leg of the tour had been the longest they had ever been apart, surpassing three weeks of not seeing each other in person for the first time in almost a decade and a half. And then he’d done a whole photoshoot in that costume and sent the photos to Phil first.

He’d looked good. Too good. But most importantly, he’d been feeling himself. It had radiated out of him and Phil wanted to see it in person. Recreate the magic of those photos right in front of his very eyes.

Dan still put up the petulant act when he had to go off and change off camera. Like he hadn’t carefully done his make-up already to complete the look once he was dressed. But he came back and it was overwhelming to see. Phil’s devil costume paled in comparison but honestly, Phil wasn’t sure that there was anything that could rival Dan in that outfit.

He could perhaps have gone without the flirty comments that made him feel like bushing. Overt flirting wasn’t Dan’s usual game. It hadn’t been when they’d first gotten together and it certainly wasn’t now. These days, they mostly communicated their love in gestures, grunts or simply asking for what they wanted. Though Dan was still Dan and occasionally he’d say something profound and loving that felt like it carved right into Phil’s chest, making his heart push at the walls just so it could expand a little more.

To hold more love for Dan.

The baking itself went about as expected. Phil was distracted the whole time and having fun playing off Dan, even when he was shaking his ass and swinging out flirts like it was nobody’s business.

The waiting in between baking had always been Phil’s least favourite part because it left him with just nothing to do. Dan was a bit more sensible, going to check the footage and charge up the cameras to make sure they didn’t decide to spontaneously die on them.

 Dan kept fixing his headdress – veil? Phil wasn’t actually sure what it was called – with such careful hands that it was a little distracting. His legs and ass too, since the dress wasn’t made for a man of his height. There had been fishnet stockings once upon a time but those had torn pretty quickly so it was just Dan’s long legs on full display.

It was late in the night, but they always did their baking at way too late in the evening. It was a tradition at this point. Back when they were still doing Phil is not on fire videos, those tended to mostly be filmed late too. There was just something else in the air. A bit of silliness that was easier captured when the rest of the world felt like it was sleeping and it was just the two of them.

Dan sat in his costume at their desk and Phil just couldn’t stop smiling at the sight. He’d been right that it was something special to see Dan like this. And his energy had been off the charts, just like Phil had hoped.

Most of the time, Dan was pretty safe with his outfit choices but Phil wondered if maybe he should get a dress that wasn’t a Halloween costume just to see how it made him feel. He’d certainly not hear any protests from Phil no matter how he wanted to dress.

His favourite Dan was a Dan who was comfortable in his own skin and he’d gotten to see that more and more as the years passed. He hoped it would continue to be the case forever.

“All good?” he asked when Dan let out a hum, eyes focused on the screen. He’d tugged one leg under him in a way that was no way beating the allegations that gays couldn’t sit in chairs.

“Yeah, we’ve got everything so far,” he confirmed, and then turned to where Phil was standing, hand just now lowering with his phone.

“Were you taking photos of me again?” he asked with a smirk. A genuinely flirting look in his eyes for a moment. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re obsessed with me.”

It wasn’t really that far from the truth and Dan knew it too.

“No,” Phil still said, voice completely deadpan. “I’m just a big fan of Sister Daniel’s obviously.”

Dan slowly stood up from his chair and advanced towards Phil. He was backing up on instinct, even if he wanted nothing more than for Dan to get close. Maybe it was just a ploy to pull him in. They were closer now when Dan was almost backing him up against the wall.

“Is that so, Father Philip?” Dan said and he tried to keep that sultry tone in his voice that he did admittedly well, but he cracked under pressure.

Just giggling right in Phil’s face and Phil was soon to follow too. They always had trouble keeping a straight face when it was just the two of them goofing off. They could go to severe length for the bit, but when it was late and they were tired but wired, cracks came easily.

“I win,” Phil said.

“We weren’t competing,” Dan said.

“Still won,” Phil maintained and puffed out his chest a bit, almost brushing it Dan’s. Provoking him because it was always fun to see his reactions.

“Oh?” Dan said and he had control back over his voice again. He was acting again and while nothing really beat normal Dan, he was pretty stunning like this too. Or maybe Phil was just a simp for all expressions Dan could hit him with.

“Nope, you win,” Phil conceded and he had to actually duck out under Dan’s arm.

It was easy enough because Dan was laughing again, with his entire body swaying and eyes crinkling up so beautifully as he took in Phil’s reaction.

The rest of filming went smoothly, even as they became more and more unhinged.

“You’re a copycat, you know that, right?” Phil teased Dan.

They were doing another charity livestream for the PCRF, just like they had done for Phil’s birthday. They had been extremely overwhelmed with the sheer force of their audience and their ability to rally behind a cause. It was a bit awe-inspiring and they wanted to do another round of it for Dan’s birthday.

So, Phil didn’t really mind at all that they were going to do almost the same thing. He’d been very supportive when Dan had brought it up.

But he could still tease him about it.

“My whole career is following in your footsteps, senpai,” Dan said, voice flat and devoid of emotions as he typed something on his computer not even looking up.

Dan wasn’t very fun to tease when he wasn’t paying attention to it.

It was a lie too. Him and Dan had similar paths, but what they had carved together was something special, they couldn’t have done without each other. And their projects on the side were wildly different too. Dan had gotten to shine with a few of his lately. Phil was hopeful for some of his own projects to come into fruition soon, but he also didn’t really mind having Dan and Phil be at the core of his working life again.

He'd missed it and now it was becoming something more certain and tangible. The tour announcement was eminent and it would already start in September. They would be back on the road again. He’d get to see their audience again for the first time in like five years.

“Don’t you need to pick some embarrassing photos of me?” Dan asked, finally looking up from his screen.

Full attention on Phil now. Eyes bright and focused. Anticipation.

Traditions were a funny thing. Phil had just done it on a whim the first time, not really knowing what to tweet Dan for his birthday. He wasn’t great with expressing his love in words, so instead showing all the little quiet moments with Dan had felt like a profound idea.

It still was now that it had become a yearly tradition. Dan got Phil a cake with letters that was probably traumatising their nearest bakery, and Phil showcased the photos he’d taken throughout the year.

The weirder the better.

“You just don’t know art. It’s a lovingly curated selection,” Phil said.

He’d been preparing a little because they were going to unveil the photos first on the livestream as an incentive to donate. He actually had too many photos, almost a dozen and he was going to have to whittle it down further. He could only post four in his tweet.

Though maybe some bonus photos weren’t the worst idea he had. The ones that didn’t make the tweet could get to be shown on the livestream instead.

“I look like a gremlin in all of them, don’t I?” Dan said with a snort, and he hadn’t taken his eyes off of Phil.

“You’re fishing to see them early and I won’t show you. It’s supposed to be a surprise for you too. One of your many birthday gifts from little old me.”

“They’re not a gift. They’re bullying,” Dan countered, but he was just kidding around.

They knew each other’s tone well. As well as each other’s boundaries. Dan was secretly enjoying the attention of it, getting to see how Phil saw him, not matter how silly weird or strange. Perhaps in particular when he was like that.

When they were just hanging out the two of them in their own little world. When Dan was his most authentic self, and it was exactly that which caused Phil to reach for his phone to capture a snapshot of the moment.

Because that was his favourite moments with Dan. The ones where neither of them had to be pretend and they were just existing together.

On the livestream later, they reminisced about the moments where the photos had been taken, but there was also so much they kept for themselves.

Phil was pretty sure it leaked through their tones judging by how everyone in the chat went insane. Phil did like that part. But he liked seeing Dan’s reaction even more and to see his eyes get just a little softer around the edges as he was confronted with the last year they’d shared together in loving snapshots.

It was that exact look that had made Phil make the birthday photos a tradition in the first place.

[shuadotcom]

Crush on You | HJS

❄ Summary: Joshua hates the idea of you being all alone for winter break so he wants to surprise you.

❄ Pairing: Joshua x GN!Reader

❄ Genres & AUs: Fluff, friends to lovers au, college au

❄ Rating: PG

❄ Warnings: None just Joshua being the sweetest

❄ Words: 3.3k

❄ Note: First fic of 2023! Big thank you to @toikiii​ for reading this over for me! This is an old fic of mine that I’ve been meaning to get around to rewriting when I was feeling especially soft. My brain simply would not rest and I literally couldn’t work on any other wip until I got some of these Joshua feelings out. The swiftness at which he shot up my bias list since last year is unfair because I didn’t ask to be this down bad for him, yet here I am.

I told myself I’d start working on my Seventeen wips in the new year and here we are - soft hours for Joshua are open forever!

Being broke during winter break sucks. Being broke during winter break and alone sucks even more. Being broke during winter break and being alone and being in a whole different country sucks the most.

You plan on buying your plane ticket to go home for the break early on. You tell yourself over and over again that you’re going to get it months ahead of time. Of course what you plan and what actually happens are two different things.

September is when you’re going to get the round-trip ticket. If you get it out of the way three months in advance, you won’t have to worry about doing anything last minute or having to pay more as the day grows closer. You have the money in your account and as soon as you finish your homework for the week, you’ll sit down, get the ticket, and plan the trip.

Unfortunately, you make the fatal mistake of allowing all of your friends to squeeze into your dorm room to celebrate the coming weekend. Thanks to the half-full bottle of soju that spilled all over your laptop, you learn two things that day; one is to never let a group of college boys drink excessive amounts of alcohol in your dorm room. The second thing is to never let a drunk Kwon Soonyoung anywhere near your expensive things ever again. Ever.

October rolls around and after buying a new computer and making sure Soonyoung knows that he’s indebted to you for basically the rest of his life, you’re back to saving up again. That’s short-lived though when you leave your backpack, which just so happens to have most of your textbooks in it, on the train.

This time you mostly blame Seungkwan. There’s a new restaurant opening in Gangnam that he really wants to try and everyone else is either busy or doesn’t want to go. He has to bribe you with a free meal, but you ultimately agree.

The problem is, he gets so caught up in trying things and gushing over the food that you miss your train back to campus, meaning you’ll likely be late for curfew. He pays the bill and the two of you sprint to the train to catch the next one. Once you reach your stop, you have to push through the abnormally crowded train passengers to get out, and in the process, your backpack is forgotten on the seat you and Seungkwan shared and you don’t realize that your bag isn’t slung over either of your shoulders until the train is long gone. While, yes you blame the incident on your forgetfulness, Seungkwan had told you that he'd carry your backpack and then didn’t so it’s still partially his fault.

November is your fault, which you can admit. Dragging along as many of your thirteen closest friends as will go with you to a SHINee pop-up shop in Busan means more planning and money than you account for. At the time all you have on your mind is getting your hands on as many limited edition fan items as possible, but once you’re faced with the double-digit number in your bank account, irresponsibility and guilt settle heavily on your shoulders.

December brings on tests and projects almost nonstop which barely leaves enough time for you to sleep and eat, so your mind is on school and school alone. You’ve seen the holiday decorations and heard plenty of people talking about the upcoming break, but your homework takes precedence over anything else.

After months of excuse after excuse, and you simply forgetting, here you are now; alone while all of your friends have already gone home for break, most of them only having to hop on a train to get there. Barely anyone is on campus at all and the few students that did stay back are unfamiliar to you so you choose the solitude of your own room for the next week.

Your family doesn’t have the funds to get you a ticket, so your financial irresponsibility is your problem and yours alone. Of course, your friends offer to pay for your ticket home, which when you decline, their next suggestion is to let you go home with one of them, but you turn them all down on that offer too. You want them to enjoy their time with their families and not have to worry about their foreign friend tagging awkwardly along.

You regret your decision just a little bit as you trek through the freshly fallen snow to the bus stop. The fact that the school's cafeteria would be closed with most of the staff gone, hadn't occurred to you either, which is why you found yourself in the small tteokbokki place about fifteen minutes away from school on New Year’s eve.

You’re in the middle of grumpily stuffing your face full of rice cakes when your phone rings on the table. After glancing at the contact name and photo, you quickly swallow the food in your mouth before swiping your finger across the screen to answer the phone.

“Yeah?”

“Is that any way to greet your lovely friend?” A chuckle comes through the line making you scoff while simultaneously trying to ignore your rapid heartbeat.

“You're Joshua, you don't count.”

“Are you saying if I was Jihoon or Jeonghan you would've answered nicer?!” He gasps in faux offense.

“I don't know, maybe. Neither of them has hit me in the face with a door you know,” you taunt, trying not to laugh. You’ll never let him live down the fact that your first time meeting was due to him accidentally smacking you in the face with the door to your shared math class.

“How long are you gonna keep bringing that up?! I said I was sorry!” Joshua lets out a deep sigh and you can practically hear him sulking over the phone. “Anyway, where are you?”

“Tteokbokki,” you simply answer, not needing to explain where since he’ll know “Why?”

“Go back to your room.”

“What?”

“I sent you something and you have to hurry back, like, now.”

“Bu-”

“I'm serious you have to go now. I’ll time you and if you aren't there in less than twenty minutes, I'm sending it back.”

“You can’t just unsend a mailed gift!”

The sound of the dial tone is his reply.

You usually aren’t one to listen to people demanding you to do things. You can admit to being pretty stubborn and petty at times and you can proudly say no if you didn't want to do something.

Well, unless the one telling you what to do was Joshua Hong.

You did a flawless job (in your opinion) of hiding the fact that you’ve, more or less, fallen for one of your best friends. All of your male friends were handsome and fun to be around, but there is something about Joshua that you can’t put your finger on, but it makes you feel so many things for him. His sweet smiles always make your heart practically beat out of your chest. His laughter makes you weak in the knees; the sound is like your favorite song. Anytime you sit close to him, you find yourself daydreaming of being more than friends, the urge to hold his hand always at the forefront of your mind.

Obviously, you haven’t told a single soul about this and you plan to keep it that way. The last thing you need is to disrupt the dynamic of your newfound family with a silly little crush, but you still can’t help the giddy feeling you get around him or the way that you tend to do nearly anything he asks of you.

Today is no expectation as you promptly stand up, throw away your trash, and beeline out of the restaurant and to the bus stop to go back to campus.

With your boots caked in snow, palms sweaty, and breathing labored from fast-walking to get here, you’re back at your building and rushing into your room. Upon stepping inside, you instantly note that it looks different than the way you left it.

Your walls, which are usually covered in posters, now have sparkly, silver stars hanging haphazardly around the room. There’s a string of blinking fairy lights hung up on the ceiling, a few feet above your head and there’s a candle burning that smells strongly of sugar cookies. Sitting on your desk is a small artificial Christmas tree complete with rainbow-blinking lights and a little gold star on the top. Your eyes only scan these things briefly before they land on the man sitting cross-legged in the middle of your bed. His phone is next to him, playing a soft R&B song that you can’t name, but it sounds nice. He’s wearing a red and white sweater and a glittery ‘Happy New Year’ headband. Joshua’s wide, bright smile completes the ensemble.

“Surprise!” Joshua bounces off your bed and throws his arms in the air.

You’re still standing in the doorway, unsure of what to even say. A jumble of things runs through your mind, but the only thing you manage to get out is, “How'd you even get those lights on the ceiling? You’re not that tall.”

Joshua throws his head back and laughs in response. “I show up here when I'm supposed to be at home and turn your room into what looks like the holidays threw up in it, and that's what you say to me?”

As if a switch is flipped, you snap out of your daze and kick your soggy shoes off, tossing your coat on the back of your desk chair and plopping down on the edge of your bed.

“Okay then, why are you not in California and how did you do this?” You try your best not to sound as giddy as you feel and ignore the somersaults your stomach is doing under your sweater.

“Well, as you know I did go home.”

“Yes, we all facetimed for Christmas I’m aware.”

“Don’t interrupt!” He playfully scolds, and it makes your face heat up. “As I was saying, I went home, but I was still thinking about you here alone and I just couldn’t stop imagining you sitting here with no one to celebrate any of the holidays with and I hated it. So, I bought a plane ticket and got back here this morning to surprise you. I actually didn’t know if you’d be in your room or not, but when I came by you were already gone so I let myself in and decided this was a better surprise than showing up with the decorations in my arms and making you put them up with me. Worked pretty well I'd say.” Joshua pats himself on the back and admires his work with a pleased grin.

“Okay… but why?”

“Why what?” Joshua sits on the bed next to you, your body going rigid. You try to create some distance between the two of you, the usual butterflies in your stomach going insane.

“Why did you go through the trouble of setting all of this up and leaving your family? During the holidays of all time.”

Joshua's face is suddenly serious as he turns towards you. “Because I know you. I know when you're unhappy, even when you try and hide it. You've been unhappy all month and I could tell. When you’re sad about something you get weirdly quiet all the time, whether you notice or not. You also get more agitated than usual and you stare off into space a lot.” He scoots closer to you ever so carefully. “We've known each other for two years so I've had plenty of time to pick up little things about you. I probably know more about you than you think.” Joshua shrugs and glances away from you. His tone has been casual, but you don’t miss the blush that spreads over his face.

“So… you ditched your family early to come back to school during break and spent your time and money on decorations for my room because you wanted me to not be unhappy?”

“Well, I mean you're my friend, obviously.” His face is still turned away from you, but the strain in his voice is noticeable. Seeing Joshua act so flustered gives you a boost of unexpected confidence, so you decide to see how far you can push this conversation. Admitting that you have a crush on him terrifies you to no end, but maybe you can gauge his feelings.

“But I'm also friends with Mingyu and Chan and they didn't go out of their way to do this for me.”

“Yeah, but they're not clever enough to think of doing this. And they're also nowhere near as nice as I am.”

“What about Wonwoo? He's pretty smart. And Seungcheol is actually the sweetest man I've ever met. If anyone would've planned all of this, it would've been him,” you say matter-of-factly.

Joshua finally turns to look at you then, clearly offended.

“What do you mean?! I’m very sweet! How about that time I brought you all of your homework and let you copy my lecture notes that whole week you were sick! And the time last year that I surprised you with EXID tickets for your birthday! And let us not forget all the food I’ve made and bought you when you have cravings! I’m so nice I don't know how you stand it! Seungcheol sucks." He puffs out his cheeks and crosses his arms, a pout forming on his perfect lips.

You have to turn your head and change the giggle you nearly let out into a cough.

“Well yeah, but Seungcheol always compliments me. He also makes sure that when he gets coffee for himself before our Tuesday morning class, that he brings me a caramel latte since he knows it’s my favorite. You've never brought me anything before our class.”

Joshua’s brown eyes stare into yours as you talk, his jaw clenching in annoyance, but you keep talking. “Oh! And he always holds doors open for me. Let's not forget what happened the last time you and a door were anywhere near me.”

“Not this again -” He groans out through gritted teeth.

“And, Seungcheol also makes sure any restaurants we go have plenty of nut-free options for my allergy and -” Joshua grabs your waist, tugging you forward and sending you falling against his chest. When you look up at him and your eyes meet, he hesitates for only a second before bringing his lips to meet yours.

He moves his hands up to cup your face and turns his head, aligning your lips at a better angle. Your fingers grip the front of his sweater, hands bunching up the fabric.

Kissing Joshua Hong is only something that you dream about and keep to yourself, but this moment, right now with him, is better than any scenario your brain has conjured up on its own.

The two of you lose track of time, nothing mattering except how soft Joshua’s lips are and how good he smells, and how warm his hands on you are.

It isn’t until you need to breathe do both of you pull back slowly, neither of you really wanting to do so. Once your eyes flutter open, they widen, the realization of what just happened hitting you. Joshua on the other hand looks much more relaxed - relieved even.

“I can’t believe you kissed me,” you breathe out, almost in a whisper, afraid that if you’re too loud you’ll wake up from what you’re still convinced may be a dream.

“I can’t believe you kissed me back.” The two of you share a quiet laugh.

“Is that why you came back to do all of this for me?”

Joshua gives you a look that very much feels like a non-verbal ‘duh!’ “I thought it was obvious honestly. I’ve wanted to kiss you since I first met you.”

“With my bloody nose and all, huh?”

His pretty face twists in agony at your teasing. “You’re going to make me apologize for the rest of my life about the door huh?”

“Yeah, probably.”

“Our kids are going to ask how we met and you’re going to tell them that their father nearly knocked you out and had to rush you to the campus infirmary and how for the rest of the day I stalked you around school to make sure you didn’t randomly pass out because I gave you brain damage.”

You chuckle at his dramatics, telling your heart to stop trying to leap out of your chest at the idea of kids and a future with Joshua. You’ve been more than friends for less than an hour at least - you have got to calm down.

“Oh, before I forget, no more talking about Seungcheol like that anymore, okay? And I'm going to tell him not to bring you lattes in the morning because I'm going to do it.”

“But your classes on Tuesdays don’t start until eleven.”

“Guess I'll just have to get up early and meet you then. I’m going to be nicer than Seungcheol can ever hope to be. You’re mine now so no one can be nicer to you than me.”

“Whatever you say, Shua.” You roll your eyes at him, fighting back a giddy smile.

“Good. Now that that's settled, let’s pack a bag for you.” Joshua hops off of the bed and drags your suitcase out from under your bed.

“What? Why?”

“You wouldn’t let me buy you a plane ticket back home, so you're coming home with me,” he says as he bounds over to your closet. Just as you open your mouth to object, he puts a hand up. “You're not going to spend the rest of the break here alone. I got a round-trip ticket for myself and one for you too. The flight leaves tomorrow morning, so we should get your stuff ready now.”

Crossing your arms, you watch him casually look through your clothes. “And what if I didn’t like you back? You didn’t even know that I felt the same way about you.”

He only shrugs. “Honestly? I didn’t plan that far ahead. I just wanted to get to you so you weren’t lonely anymore and I’d figure it out from there.” He emerges with an armful of your sweaters, beginning to neatly fold them and set them in your open suitcase. “But now I don’t have to vanish off the face of the planet due to embarrassment and a broken heart which is good because I told my parents I was bringing you back. My mom is super excited to meet you.”

The thought of going home with your friends was awkward to you which is why you turned everyone down. The thought of going home with your used-to-be-friend-who-is-now-your-boyfriend makes you just as nervous, if not more, but even so, you don’t object as you join Joshua in packing your things and set your bag by your door for the morning.

The two of you spend the rest of the night cuddling, something you never want to stop doing with him as long as you live. When the countdown to midnight starts, you watch on your laptop as a new station counts down and as soon as midnight hits, Joshua’s pulling you into another kiss, this one just as magical as the first.

Your lips are still tingling when he pulls away and rests his forehead against yours.

“Happy New Year, Y/n.”

“Happy New Year, Shua.”

Sleep comes next for both of you, Joshua mentioning that the flight is pretty early and that you need your rest before dealing with the chaos of the airport. He rambles a little as you fall asleep, going on about wanting to take you to all his favorite places back home. Just hearing the excitement in his voice helps you decide that maybe visiting his family wouldn't be so bad. Especially if he keeps kissing you the way he does and looking at you with those soft, sparkling eyes. Hell, if he asked you to fly to the moon with him right now, you’ll likely say yes without a second thought and not regret a single thing. Not as long as you’re with him.