#i had nothing i wanted to write about
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So I started writing my FadelStyle meta for ep 5 and it's going to be a long one. Like really really long. Good luck to me and anyone else who decides to read it.
#i am having so much fun writing it though#not that long ago i had somewhat lost the motivation to write#i had nothing i wanted to write about#and that made me sad because i used to love writing#but discovering jd helped me find my joy for writing again#i enjoy their acting so so much that i want to write about it#the way they portray their characters resonates with me so deeply#which led me here where i found like minded people#i found my lost inspiration and joy for writing again#and i am so very grateful for that
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kissing harumasa means keeping your hands on his face and never letting them go down to his neck. he’d even hold them there with his own hands, a silent plea to not touch the mark left by the serum.
he didn’t lash out at you the first (and only) time you unintentionally touched it. instead, he pulled away immediately, the fear in his eyes mixed with his shaky breaths as he’s trying to control himself. he could see his own reflection in your worried eyes, seeing hallucinations of him turning into an ethereal. your hands went to hold his, you could feel him quivering as he shook his head at you. he didn’t mean to ruin the mood, he didn’t want to become a monster. he isn’t a monster but this irrational fear was eating him up whole that it even put your relationship on the line.
“i’m sorry, i didn’t realize what i had done,” your voice was clear as always, guiding him back to the current moment. the reflection of him in your eyes returned to normal but you had a regretful look in your gaze. your thumb rubbed over the back of his hand, reminding him that you were still there. “i love you,” you mumbled out to him, so soft, so quiet. that was all he needed to hear. he knew it was an honest mistake and not intentional on your end, maybe he overreacted. he brought your hands up to his mouth, placing soft kisses on your knuckles. the hands that unknowingly triggered his fight or flight mode, were the same hands that caressed him so gently every time. in between his kisses, he’d say his own ‘i love you’ and ‘i’m sorry’s to try and reassure you of his sudden reaction. he wasn’t deserving of your love, you shouldn’t be the victim of his past, but you stay with him regardless. overcoming it all while holding hands, one kiss at a time.
#luminotes ˚✧₊⁎☆#zzz harumasa#harumasa zzz#asaba harumasa#harumasa x reader#harumasa x gn reader#harumasa x you#sorry to all the Iighter enjoyers#I PROMISE I HAVE JUST BEEN BUSY WRITING#but don’t want to post nothing#so erm have this thought i had#honest to god i have not been feeling that well mentally#so angst with comfort has been a go to for me#and with harumasa release right around the corner#THERE IS NO BETTER TIME !!#sorry if its ooc#i dont know enough about him#but a man with a tragic backstory is a man with a tragic backstory#and im just a writer doing their job
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For my birthday... read my webcomic! It's literally free! (Unless you want books. Those are not free)
It's beautiful, it's gentle, it's funny, they're canonically t4t and gay... And it's about time traveling vampires solving supernatural mysteries!
I've spent thousands of hours writing and drawing it, and it's really good! I'm not biased!
It's on hiatus right now and coming back in 2 months, so it's the perfect time to get caught up
#i felt weird putting this in there so I didnt but I've also received recognition for excellence in writing#and was nominated as a fan favorite on webtoon canvas...#so like not only do i work super hard but its just really good!#im not ashamed of claiming that i think my work is well done. if i didn't think i was doing a good job why would i do it#buuuut. something about being like please read my comic im literally so good at comics feels weird to me#even though i think that. in my brain#i dont want to imply that there is some objective or tangible goodness to my work simply for receiving some accolades#its nothing other than some accolades. whether or not someone likes it is up to them#so i guess to me it just feels superfluous#but genuinely I love my comics...#i re read them all the time. and i enjoy them!#theres things i would change and probably will change when i go to print#but i did what I could with the time and energy I had#and when it comes back... oh boy.#my friends have agreed its the best stuff ive ever written. it's literally so good...#im so excited to share.#still not fully ready to officially commit to the return date#but i am gunning for it!#webcomics#webtoon#time and time again#its my birthday!#idk wtf to tag this as. im 27 now...#read my comic#LOL
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Sometimes I'm doing well, and then other times Lucifer's level 30 intimacy phone call in Nightbringer suddenly comes back to mind, and I am once again reminded how Lucifer is so utterly desperate to connect with Satan in any way. It doesn't even have to be meaningful; just having his brother despise him a tiny bit less than before would already be more than enough
And when they finally do make the tiniest, most insignficant amount of progress imaginable, Lucifer is so overjoyed about it that he ends up celebrating with a horn of Demonus......or two, maybe three... Might as well finish the bottle. Let's open another one! And another, and another, and another! We've got to celebrate tonight, after all! Hm? No, he isn't drunk MC, what a stupid question to even ask. Here, he'll drink some more just to prove it! Then after that--!
And all that because he and Satan managed to hold a conversation for a minute longer than usual
#hey so i originally got the levels mixed up. whoops#anyway#had to stop everything for an hour or two and just lie there thinking about satan & luci again#there's so much i want to talk about when it comes to the two of them bc their relationship is so fascinating#but most of the time when i try to write smth down it just comes out as “hnnngghhhh these two.....they're making me go insannnee” lol#also luci admitting in his lv25 call that satan is the only one he has problems with and that no matter what he tries nothing seems to work#broke my heart fr </3#obey me#obey me nightbringer#obey me lucifer#obey me satan#;mel's analyses
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Fear of being left behind, and wanting to be loved as much as you love others. Sometimes little reminders from a friend can help. Peep my tags
#thinking a lot about amy rose lately. I drew this maybe a week or so ago but couldnt parse how i wanted to talk about it#Was rambling to a few friends abt her journey to self love and dismantling comphet-isms and how#If I were to write her#they'd be interconnected#Her attachment over someone who's made it clear he doesnt feel the same way. ogh#Her begging to not be left behind and BEING left behind often is SO#I make a lot of angst of the sonic characters. sorry. I respond well to tragedy (btas enjoyer)#I find Shadow and Amy's friendship so comforting and interesting.#Amy is the reason Shadow remembered Maria's promise and went to help Knux and Sonic in sa2.#I'd even argue that Amy Rose is Shadow the Hedgehog's first friend that he'd say is his friend.#For Rouge and Omega he could pretend that they're just a team and work together. Nothing more.#The idea of them being good friends also gives me a lot of joy.#Amy takes him shopping! Takes him places he didnt know existed. He tries food he'd never had before#Amy gets to share her love of the world with someone she cares about. Someone who. deep down. is kindhearted and wants to do good. wl#wants to love the world as much as her#And I adore that so much!!#Shadow the Hedgehog#Amy Rose#sth#sketches
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*ahem* *cracks knuckles* *rolls shoulders* *taps mic*
Galastruck.
and i promise i’ll write 'i love you' with my fingers on your sleeping hand and when that fox howls i’ll howl with it in its cries i’ll find an end
🩸 happy valentine's day! 🩸
*✩˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ valentines shipaganza masterpost ✩˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ ⋆˙⟡
static images for the above animation!


#my art#cw flashing#cw blood#(thematic background blood splatter in the second image)#static images under the read more!#galastruck#galacta knight#starstruck dee#🎀💖#congratulations to galacta knight for absolutely sweeping poor meta knight into the dirt in that poll!!#i want to be absolutely up front and say that this image is NOT a backstory lore reveal or anything!! this is thematic only!!#this was actually a revisit of an old sketch i did last year which some folks might recognise#based on a deetective theory that starstruck was a “princess” and galacta knight was her “loyal knight”. which was SO good actually#i *could* write an au about that.... but i should focus on her mainline story i think!!! people have been so patient#anyway. so while she is not “a princess” or anything and this picture should be considered basically fancy dress-up#i wouldn't post something for them that had NOTHING in it to unpack. so there's still plenty here.#worship and devotion is not NOT their dynamic. at least somewhere along the line.#anyhow. happy valentine's everybody!! thanks to folks who voted in the poll!!!#and don't worry for those who voted meta knight!! he's still going to get a spotlight!!#would not forget my favourite blueberry this discount-candy month!#hope you enjoy your annual Galastruck Ooh It's So Romantic / Or Is It Violence Actually valentine's art animation 😂💖
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DPXDC Prompt #94
Danny falls through a portal to the DC world from a natural portal that opened up while he was in mid fight with Skulker a fight that began at Vlads where the creep put a collar on Danny that kept him in ghost form, Vlad thought he’d force Danny to reveal his secret to his parents by taking away his human form. Looking around he’s in a dark city with dark smog colored skies. Unfortunately he’s stuck here as the portal closed leaving him trapped. He tried to find help but no one can see him in his ghost form. He starts tailing the vigilantes of this world and eventually follows one onto this space station through this tube (possessing inanimate objects sure comes in handy). He wasn’t expecting for the random British guy in a trench coat to see him.
#dp x dc prompt#dp x dc#dc x dp#danny fenton#danny phantom#writing prompt#poor danny#What if no one could see Danny like deadman#Danny is stuck in ghost form#Constantine has a headache especially from the ghost king that has apparently been tailing Batman for a week#ghost king danny#Batman had a feeling he was being tailed but it’s hard to prove when nothing is amiss#my asks are open#More Minty lore? Sure!#Honestly no one in my family knows I love Danny Phantom so I only own a glitch in time#It’s still my favorite show from the 2000s but at this point that probably has more to do with the phandom#I’d also like to reveal my DP inspired world soon but I have no clue how to go about it#Should I start a new blog? Or should I just post it here? This blog is meant for everything but I don’t want to bog it down#So that’s my rant take it or leave it but you can’t unread it!! Thanks for reading have a great day!
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okay so i was going to post a poll on peoples' interpretations of taako & sazed's relationship but i went and looked back at the transcript of the chalice episode and i can't even post a poll because i just can't think of enough options that would actually be supported by the text?
its very very clearly a predatory apprenticeship where taako is getting free labor from sazed in exchange for teaching him, and then sazed begins to feel entitled to an equal share, at which point taako shuts him down and speaks to him in actually a pretty cruel way.
taako 'hired' sazed to be a driver and assistant and "general roadie" and i think it's perfectly fine for taako to not want him to be performing as an equal partner, but also, he was clearly taken advantage of. like sazed's proposition is an equal split of both the work and the "glory" and presumably the profit, which is a fair suggestion, but also fair for taako to turn down. but also taako was exploiting sazed's adoration in order to not pay him for his work.
i don't think that equal partnership was something taako ever even let on could be a possibility, he's pretty clear in the conversation he has with sazed that it's not something he's interested in and he "doesn't wanna keep having this conversation." its definitely something sazed really wants, but i don't think it was ever promised to him, it seems like something he's thought of that he's bringing to taako, who immediately shuts it down.
and as unfair as paying for a lot of work with cooking lessons is, it seems like that's what sazed agreed to, and it's also worth acknowledging that even though this is an arrangement i would consider unfair within my own cultural context, it could be considered completely normal and fair in faerun, like similar to a blacksmith's apprentice or something
so i guess the only questions are what sazed agreed to and why, and whether or not taako actually liked him or was just mean to him all the time. idk its all very interesting on its own let alone when compared to taako's later relationships with angus & ren, but not really open to as much interpretation as i’d thought
#mine#taako#sazed#taz#the adventure zone#taz balance#i’ve said it before but i truly have no idea where the exes thing came from. there’s nothing to suggest that. that’s clearly not the dynamic#taako is sazed’s mean boss#which is much more thematically rich anyway#someday. someday i will write the fic about sazed & angus & ren and taako's relationship to teaching#cause like. emotionally wrt to their relationship. keeping in mind the fact that there is not an equal power balance here#i think taako really did like teaching sazed and wanted him to be a beloved apprentice#and sazed really did want taako to be a mentor he was close with and a genuine friend#like they both wanted essentially what taako has w angus & ren later on#but taako hadnt grown past his self-centeredness yet cause he'd just never faced consequences for it#and sazed was too jealous and entitled#so they both had these flaws that soured the relationship and ruined the possibility of genuine friendship#and then of course the murders
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(Warning: Body horror, Dead bugs, Blorbo in bad shape, Sap that looks like blood)
Putting the art below since I think a good chunk of people may not wanna see their blorbo be stuck in a tree covered in bugs. :)

(Apologies for the 10 seconds of dead air, Tumblr won't upload music without it!)
I am the honeybee
Drink the blood of the tree
I can't breathe, I can't see
Evil wind comforts me
Buried deep inside of me
Acarine
Buried deep inside of me
Acarine
vvv Alts and Yapping below! vvv
(Wish we could do more than one break rip)
No Bees, No Post Processing


Goofy ahh starting sketch

HEHEHE BE SUBJECTED TO THE MIND OF A CYCLE PATH
But actually you are being subjected to my music tastes, literally this whole idea comes from my interpretation of lyrics from the hit band King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard. ✨✨✨
Like imagine this: You wake up one day after years of being offline, only to find that you've been abandoned for so long that a full on tree grew through you. (Like how some do with stop signs or other posts.) The sap is all mucked up in your gears and all over your body, and then you notice all the little bees eating the sap. But oh- they aren't moving. With a quick scroll through the ceaseless database in your mind, the answer finds itself. You, the tree, and these bees are infested with Acarine.
Hope y'all enjoyed the art and the little snippet of the song I added in! :3
It just didn't feel right to not add the song I mean C'MON THE MOOD OF THIS MAN- THE SONG IS SO MOODY
AND ITS ONLY A TRANSITION SONG UAGHHH- I love this band <3
Anyways, combining both of my hyperfixations has proven to have done magic for me, so follow your heart lovelies. lololol
(Definitely not the last time Imma do that either oop-)
I have multiple art projects I already started but I cranked this one out in 5 hours because I needed it out of my head. I also thought it would be an amazing lighting practice and a good excuse to try new brushes and techniques. :333
It seems like with how busy I was in both October and November, I didn't get all the spookiness out of me yet. I've been thinking of horror stuff so much lately. o3o Hopefully this lets me embrace the holly jolly now lol
Man I'm so glad fall semester is over, I needed this-
I also need to go to bed 2:30 already uagh-
#Doing a test where I just hide the content below a read more instead of labeling it as mature o3o#I think tumblr buries mature posts more#nothing too mature is here I just don't want to flashbang people with body horror of the blorbo (I wish I could put a spoiler on the image)#I'm super proud of this one#About time I did another Sun render#I mean he's probably not happy about it but I had fun#My body is all achy after this lol#I just blazed through this in a sitting I am so proud#Muwah forehead kiss for the sappy boy#And yes he has no mouth because he cannot scream#:)#It really feels like each time I have a cool idea like this my art abilities just level up#Hell yeah#you could write a one shot about this-#shush brain not now#dca fandom#fnaf dca#dca community#daycare attendant#dca fnaf#dca fanart#dca art#fnaf sun#sundrop#my art#tw bugs#cw bugs#tw horror#cw horror#cw body horror
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A little promo with my little obsession on the side...........
Reminder all items are shipped from Poland - for details on shipping times check out FAQ or send me a private message!
mmezzy.bigcartel.com
#klance#halloween au#im projecting on the internet my own impostor syndrome#i feel that im awful and should be learning how to draw instead of writing shitty fics#and when i want to write a post and share a little doodle or smth - 'sorry' is right between the lines and its so frustrating#like???? nobody probably cares#im either here or im not#and if i need to finish that little abomination of a fic then so be it you'd think people wouldnt mind too much#and would still want to listen to my captions and see whatever silly doodle however silly it is as long as its true#..............but what if its all redundant#what if i cant draw after i had to flip my entire routine upside down#and will forever chase a thrill of feeling like a prolific artist and it will be always out of reach now#what if people scroll past my art and feel nothing now#what if world is filled with people who kinda hate klance but stay out of reflex and not bc its their deeply routed source of comfort#what if i reached an artistic plateau and will never be good enough#what if this is the limit of my 'talent'#what if i will forever love the projects i want to share but will always hate the execution of it wanting to fix it fix it fix it learn mor#i keep reading the little notes i get on orders#some screenshots i saved#i find good words and opinions and love letters to art as a whole#and i feel insufficient#subpar#i drew a comic about it to an old poem and still havent finished it#there is a point of trying your best when it stops feeling like a challenge and feels like a failure#its the moment where you keep going of course#and yet#there are emotions im sure nobody shares on social media bc we just try to get through them#but who else will take it better than tumblr tags#either way if im less around its because im dealing with creational self-hatred and artistic ambitions#but on the other hand arent all artists like that? i ran out of tag space btw have an awesome weekend
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Mmm Tank (Traducción en texto alternativo)
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Eng: (I hope nobody has done this before, if that's the case, I'll give credit just tell me). The image I downloaded was crunchy that's why it looks like that 👻
Esp: (Espero que nadie haya hecho esto antes, si es el caso, daré crédito solo dime). La imagen que descargué estaba crunchy es por eso que luce así 👻
#tank grunt#johnny smith#shitpost#the sims 2#sims#sims 2#the sims#sims 2 strangetown#strangetown#sims posting#sims 2 premades#simblr#sims premades#sims meme#nothing to smile about in my life#meme redraw#i know i said would draw tankjohnny but my ass had to draw this for an hour straight instead of doing that#so prolly next time#does this counts as tankjohnny tho?#nah#also ignore johnny's low quality pfp i just didn't want to spent more time than necessary on this 😭#i swear my final design of him will be better hearmeout#also also idk how to write becuz why do i have so bad grammar HELPP#pls tumblr let us edit tags damn it#my stuff
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"Angry robin" "violent robin" "misbehaving robin" shut up and accept my alternative; spunky Robin. Determined and head strong, can out-stubborn the Batman, has a strong moral-backbone and does what he thinks is right regardless of what anybody else says, Robin. Jason who was sassy and quippy and made crude jokes with a smile on his face. Jason who hid in Bruce's cape and whispered gossip to him. Jason who, if Bruce refused him something, could keep bothering endlessly until Bruce caved. And also dramatic Jason. If Bruce tells him no, it becomes a whole theatrical show; a monologue, a narration, embellishments, and falling onto the floor in his grief upon the fact his cruel father has denied him once again.
(Jason who has suffered through abuse and homelessness and poverty and starvation, who is the Fight out of Fight or Flight, who's built up defenses and walls and when pushed and triggered responds with the thing that's always protected him; anger. He's sweet and kind and funny, and when he sees a pimp hitting a prostitute he gets furious and responds with violence.)
#my dc posting#dc#jason todd#jaybin#im having so many thoughts abt jaybin and he is so important to me#in one fic he went on a hunger strike bc alfred didnt eat w them and did it for so long they had to compromise#i love a jaybin 100% willing to menace and bother batman until the man folds. as is his right#the thing abt jason's backstory is that it shows him unwilling to suffer for a home#ma gunn's is bad; he gets beat up and she tries to get him to help rob a place. so he leaves! and rats the whole thing out to batman#and shows up himself cus he didnt think he had been believed#and lets not forget the fact he hit batman with a tire iron and called him a 'big boob'!#the boy's got moxie!! let jaybin be crass and angry and sassy and flawed and traumatized without reducing him to 2d caricature of a 'troubl#d kid'#i dont like a jason who did nothing but use excessive violence and disobey orders and be cocky and all that shit#i like a jason who was. oh yknow. a complex person!! a child/teen who has been fucking abused!!!#you shouldnt erase the fact that jason's reaction/response to stressful situations and triggers IS anger#it's not an indication that he was always gonna become a criminal/red hood or whatever. get outta here w that shit#but like. let us not go so far in the other direction we forget to have him react and be affected by the abuse he's suffered#anyway. if anyone should be a drama-queen it should be jaybin. once he becomes truly comfortable w bruce he should dial it up to 11#a lot of red hood's appeal (to me&many others) is that he is an 'imperfect' victim. meaning he is angry and flawed and doesnt suffer quietl#but is loud and obvious abt it#so when i see jaybin written as the opposite its like. man whats that about#anyway. jaybin is good and cares and wants to help and protect people. and by god if i ever see anybody writing#him having arguments with bruce about the no kill rule WHILE robin again im gonna throw hands istg-#my tags are like a hidden treasure box. most of what i say is in here lmao
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What are your headcanons about Marcille's mom if you have any? It's interesting that what drew Donato to her was cause she lived the history he studied, or that was said somewhere at least. She must've had an interesting life.
so this was going to be just a normal answer but then I realized I have a Lot of Things To Say. so here goes, a compilation of what we know for a fact from the canon, what I've extrapolated from the visual cues and details, and my theories based on all of that.
Things we know for a fact about Marcille's mother because they were explicitly stated in the manga and supplemental materials:
She was a court mage for a Tall-man kingdom at the southern part of the Northern Continent
Donato, a court historian, fell in love with her because she had lived through the history he was studying, and he courted her for 17 years (age 15 to 32) before getting married
She was a cheerful person who rarely showed extreme emotion and took things as they came
She always cooked a huge meal for Marcille on her birthdays
She remarried a gnome after Donato's death and a short distance away from Marcille's childhood home
Pipi, Marcille's pet bird, was actually older than Marcille and originally belonged to her mother (bird died at 62)
She was extremely heartbroken when Donato died and ultimately ended up instilling a deep fear of mortality in Marcille with her words
the only time she showed extreme emotion in front of her family was when Donato could no longer eat his favourite dish near the end of his life.
She scolded Marcille for being cruel to ants (implying she can have a stern side when needed)
Things that are explicitly shown but mostly through visual cues
She has a very distinctive style of dress always involving a ribbon choker (mirroring Marcille's habit of always wearing a matching choker with any of her outfits that don't cover her neck)
She was almost stereotypically good at housekeeping and traditionally "wifely" things (very frequently depicted wearing an apron or doing some domestic chore when not at work, seems to have been an avid cook).
She knits? (also, note the affectionate smile as she's looking at Donato and Marcille reading a book together in the full panel)

She was as excited for Marcille's milestones as Donato was.

She didn't tell Marcille much about elven food
(there are a couple things that this panel in particular implies:
She lived a good deal of her life (if not being born and raised) in a mainly elven country in the West, implied by her knowing enough of an elven region's cuisine to prefer Tall-man food over it
seems to have a pretty carefree and casual demeanour overall, if this is how she replied to Marcille asking her about it (sounds like she never gave her culinary preferences that much thought to begin with)
slightly related to number 2, it seems like she and Marcille had a fairly casual parent-child dynamic (especially in comparison to the Toudens' memory of their father)
(local elf tastes Italian food once and never goes back))



However, she seems a lot more... serious in most of the other times we see her? Almost like the very stereotypical archetype of a graceful elf.
Subsequent conclusions about her personality:
Usually pretty carefree and cheerful at home, has been a loving and attentive parent throughout Marcille's childhood (while not being so doting that she didn't discipline Marcille).
Slightly more conjectural theories on her personality:
Had a much more graceful and professional personality at work, which would explain the more serious portraits we see of her.
Given that both she and Donato had positions at the royal court, it seems a little odd that she'd go out of her way to do all the housework herself, so maybe she just enjoyed doing it?
Now taping all the evidence together and toeing the line between analysis and fanfiction:
It's clear that she loved Donato very much and was utterly devastated by losing him. But there's one thing that really stuck out to me in what little we see of her:


Doesn't she seem... angry? The way she's gritting her teeth, clutching the tablecloth, and how this is the first and only time we see her eyes opened that wide. In the following panel, you see her being quiet and dejected after her initial outburst. She's still crying very intensely, but her brows are furrowed, and she's not really responding to Donato's affection in her body language.
We're not told the details of how she felt about losing Donato other than that it upset her. But this, to me, implies that she was angry and resented that he was aging, that the end of his life was approaching. An "it's not fair" type of preemptive grief. And if this was the first and last time she cried like this in front of her family, she was either very good at coping in private... or very bad at letting herself feel unpleasant emotions until they become unavoidable and end up overwhelming her.
It's not too remarkable a detail on the surface. It's even reminiscent of what the audience has seen of Marcille. But... when it comes to the big picture, you'd think an elf who voluntarily chose to marry a tall-man and have a half-elf child would have been better prepared for this.
It kind of recontextualizes her cheerfulness to me.

"I'm sure everything's gonna be okay!" (or some variation thereof, depending on what translation you have).
And this is stated to contrast her extreme grief when finally confronting Donato's failing body and eventual death. But I'm wondering if... maybe this optimism was why she was so upset. What if she went into all of it thinking "everything's gonna be okay"? What if she was a little young by elven standards, and just followed her heart thinking that her own resilience would get her through anything?
Of course, only to get completely overwhelmed when she actually loses Donato. She turns into a completely different person. And that's heartbreaking on its own-- but what the audience sees is the effect it had on Marcille. Can you imagine being her, watching your invincible and upbeat mother suddenly lose all the light in her eyes in one go?
I've already made a huge post about how I think Marcille models her "work persona" off her mother, but another thing that stuck with me as I was looking for more details in the manga was this:
copy pasting from the other post i made about it lmao it's like... the second she resigns herself to lifelong pain and terror, there's another portrait of her mother facing her like this. with their heads bowed, in mirrored body language of resignation and despair and sorrow. Except it's posed like Marcille is still looking at her mother but her mother is looking away.
It took me a second to realize, but I think that it's a visual metaphor for the fact that Marcille's mother was the only long-lived role model she had-- and she failed to model healthy grief for her daughter. I don't say this as an accusation or to disparage her as a character, but just as a matter of fact. In her, Marcille was seeing herself older and losing a short-lived spouse or loved one of her own, and all she saw was hopelessness.
But her mother didn't mean to instill hopelessness and terror in her. She wasn't really thinking of how it would truly affect Marcille at all (at least, that's how I'm interpreting her looking down and away from Marcille in the metaphor), she was just sad. And she, in her own way, was trying to protect her daughter and help her prepare for future losses.
What she meant was "loss is inevitable, and you have to learn how to be in pain but live on anyway." What Marcille heard was "loss is inevitable, and you will be scared and hurt for the rest of your life."
Again. Marcille's mother doesn't feature explicitly in the story the way her father does -- but in so many ways, her shadow, her silhouette, her reflection is always hanging over Marcille.
All that to say... headcanon-wise (everything from here on is 100% without evidence lmao), I'd like to think that she matured and realized that she failed Marcille. I imagine her being regretful about it, wanting a chance to fix it but never finding a way to insert herself back into Marcille's life when Marcille is so so so busy becoming the most accomplished mage possible. I imagine her being herself again, now, so many years after her loss and after remarrying -- but with her cheerfulness tempered with a lot more wisdom and the pain of having gone through loss like that. I think the second Marcille actually tells her what happened in the dungeon, she'd want to go running to her daughter again -- if Marcille tells her the full truth instead of just being embarrassed she let things get that far. (oh, the tragedy of her wanting to be more like her mother and an accomplished adult who doesn't need to be babied... being embarrassed to actually tell her mother how much she fucked up...)
There's also the tension of her having remarried -- I know that there's at least a little bit of resentment that Marcille harbours about that, because she's childish like that at heart even if she makes an effort not to externalize it. I think that her mother would be aware of that, potentially adding to her sense of guilt and apprehension at trying to reappear/intrude on Marcille's life. I honestly don't think Marcille has met her stepfather -- or even considers him a stepfather rather than "mama's new husband" and kind of a total stranger. I think she and her mother actively don't talk about it in their correspondence, like an elephant in the room.
but, ultimately, I think her mother is on her side no matter what. Ancient magic? Dark necromancy? Sure, she'll feel guilty and like she was partially responsible for setting Marcille down such a painful path, but she wouldn't care. that's her daughter!! she would've moved back west and been petitioning for her at the court, buying a house right next to the Canaries barracks and visiting her every day that she wasn't on a mission. And if her husband had opinions on Marcille becoming a "dark arts user," he either gets over it or it's divorce with him. Yes, she might have had her optimism completely humbled by losing Donato like that -- but she's still headstrong and self-assured and she doesn't care what people think of her. It's her way or the highway and she's always going to be in Marcille's corner.
(She also needs a name lol. I went with Juno, just to be cute about "Marcille"s closest real life equivalent being Marcella, which is the female version of Marcellus, which in turn is a diminutive of Marcus, which was derived from Mars. Absolutely in love with Marcille potentially being named after Ares/Mars the fucking god of war btw)
#asks#she could easily be interpreted as distant or neglectful after Donato's death too#with how little involvement she has in Marcille's life/the fact that Marcille doesn't even mention her when talking about her life prospect#and that's fair! I will argue to hell and back that she was a loving parent when Donato was alive#but there's nothing that suggests she remained a loving parent afterwards#I just think that like... parental relationships are so complicated in dungeon meshi#you cannot deny that the toudens' mother loved them dearly but that she failed them both miserably as a parent#and i think it'd be more compelling if Marcille's mother was a little like that too#not a totally and easily dismissable deadbeat#but someone who truly loves her daughter but was only human herself and couldn't be what Marcille needed at a crucial moment#and regrets it deeply#and that the distance between them is mutually self-imposed by complicated feelings of guilt and fear#and a little resentment from Marcille's side that she hasn't really properly processed#I don't know if I'll ever get around to writing it but i had this idea where Marcille does finally spill the beans to her mom and she just#immediately arrives in Melini#and its awkward for a bit but they do finally have a heart to heart and air it all out#and marcille starts freaking out that her marriage is rocky rn bc her new husband wants her to distance herself from marcille#on account of the crimes and all#marcille's like no you can't blow up your marriage for me and her mother just shuts that shit down#'you didn't choose to be born. i was the one who made that choice for you'#'i brought you into this world and i'll be damned if i don't take responsibility for that the entire way'#'you are entitled to *nothing less* than my unconditional love.'#and obviously that's not a sentiment that's exactly healthy as a universal statement about parenthood#but i think its what her mother would believe and what marcille needs to hear#and dungeon meshi does such a fantastic job at just... letting imperfect things just *be* without having to justify it immediately#it expects the audience to do their own critical thinking#and know that its not trying to make sweeping universal statements in every instance#marcilleposting#marcille donato#junoposting
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Huh, I didn't even realize it'd been a year since BG3 came out until I opened tumblr this morning. Kinda wild. I didn't think much of the game's release: I like Larian's games, and I like the BG series. I wasn't ever going to skip the game, but I didn't think I'd play it at launch because I was busy working on a novel in 2023 and not doing well financially.
Thankfully, circumstances left me with a little bit of extra money last year just before launch and it meant I could spend on a video game. I needed a pick-me-up after said 2023 novel failed to go anywhere, and BG3 was right there. Like most CRPGs, I played it in basically every moment of free time that I had and did as much as I possibly could in one playthrough.
It's so odd how these small happenstances can snowball into coming back to fandom, finding some friends I might've never met otherwise, and writing a lot of fanfiction along the way. I'll probably have something more interesting to say/share when it's the 14th, AKA when I sat down and wrote my first fic for this fandom.
Anyways, it's been a lot of fun and I'm looking forward to more years to come 💜
#random fandom thoughts#there's a fair few tidbits about that first fic that will be more fun to share on the 14th#but there's some fun facts about the early parts of my first playthrough:#Asheera killed Us because the player thought it was going to be a hostile intellect devourer and didn't want to deal with that at lvl1 lol#It took me several hours to recruit Gale because I didn't want to interact with the glowing portal until I was “ready”#I (the player) sent Barcus flying at first because I have a very silly sense of humor#I did reload that one because Asheera wouldn't BUT I was satisfied#and finally the one that is always entertaining considering how things ended up#I originally thought nothing of Shadowheart and didn't go into the game with any idea about romance or the companions whatsoever#all I noticed about her was that she wore Sharran symbols everywhere but tried to hide her faith#then she tried the most miserable attempt at manipulation I've ever seen in my life (when she tests you about Raphael's deal)#and she exposed herself as the Worst Sharran Possible#then came her confession of her faith and I knew something special was happening#the confession sounds so robotic and prewritten almost like it's from a canned speech she's practiced and rehearsed#and sounds more like regurgitation and being Told what to believe rather than an impassioned plea borne of bone-deep faith#the sudden shift in her tone had me thinking: “this is either atrocious character writing or fantastic characterization”#and lo and behold#anyways if you've read this far then bg3 is a very special thing for me and I love getting to create for the fandom
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rehashing an old post but i think a lot about how in trying to absolve hunt instead of seriously addressing the power imbalance/impropriety of the relationship between him and the mc, pixelberry chose to make it so it’s the mc “pursuing” hunt and being really forceful about it. in this case, it’d be okay because it’s not him being weird and, well, the mc really, really wants this! this was not an well thought out decision because 1. it doesn’t remove the need to address a professor dating his student, and whatever that means for both parts + the story they’re in, and 2. in the process they make mc a person with no respect for boundaries who quite literally stalks this man and assaults him under false pretences. not to mention how the writing in these quests is confusing and contradictory (the mc is written in two different ways at different times, whatever the plot is in need). just… really bad on all fronts
#i still think they introduced bianca’s blackmail right after mc/hunt get together because they realised they now had#a professor (their most beloved character) dating one his students and that’s not a good look + they didn’t want to address it. and#i’ve always thought they had a hard time condemning hunt. lmao. plus the longer their relationship went on the more… dubious it made hunt’s#character. and this can’t happen. which is why in my opinion the entire plotline happens in the span of two weeks#which is of course bad writing but once again ill thought decision. they get exposed but they keep dating. that’s still a professor dating#his student (who is STILL in his classes for some reason) and the game keeps ignoring it.#you ruined your main character and wrote a really gross questline for nothing#edit. also. if this were in any other app (and not a kids game)#i don't even think they'd need to turn to the camera and say This Is Really Bad. they just had to address it and what it meant for the#story. you can write stories about a multitude of topics and you don't need to categorise things in good and bad. right or wrong.#that's not really compelling. but you need to think about the implications of said topics. which is something pixelberry actively avoided#doing here. sure hunt gets “punished” for dating mc but it's laughable and Nothing Really Happens. plus mc assaults him. can't forget that
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Holding out hope that the writing in veilguard will get more bearable but rook saying to lucanis that it's "not nice that Spite hurt him" and he "shouldn't accept that it’s fine bc it wouldn't be ok if a person did that" like. That is a demon. Built off a single emotion called SPITE. Rook I am finding it really hard to believe that u have lived in thedas for more than 30 seconds.
#wow the demons which are one of the consistently evil forces in these games did something bad#hey players do you know that that was not nice#ok thank you. do u think I am 4#dav spoilers#veilguard spoilers#dragon age the veilguard#also grinding my gears that everyone (including dalish elves???) just immediately accept the evanuris are evil/have come back#like the first person to not immediately believe it is the first warden and honestly he is the only character so far I respect#like maybe if this was like inquisition and a huge hole in the sky/rifts opened everywhere#but it seems like nothing like that happened but everyone somehow magically knows about the ritual and instantly believes everything rook sa#the more I think about these things the more annoyed I get#guys did you know being a leader means u sometimes need to make hard decisions... varric taught me that in my ma15+ game#i am enjoying the combat at least lol and I like Bellara and want to see Babylon so I'm in it for the long haul#why does everyone have a gun to their head making them nice though like it's so painfully out of place sometimes#and being able to only say the same thing but in a slightly boring slightly funny or slightly serious way is driving me insane#like I seem to be the only one who had no problem w the limits on dialogue in inquisition but this is driving me insane#Mourn watch rook what if you were somehow boring and nice. yay thank you bioware#ALSO rook stop talking and forming opinions without me getting to choose what u say like no I don't want u to day we have to save that perso#ok I swear I'm done now.. I need to go back to writing my thesis instead of grinding my teeth about this game#this is all coming from an inquisition enjoyer as well (sorry) but like so far I have found nothing I enjoyed about inquisition in this game#maybe if the inquisitor and Ghilan'nain are cool latee on I can focus on that (big maybe)#I am only early on still (just met first warden) so there is still time... i guess..
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