#taako is sazed’s mean boss

[jerreeeeeee]

okay so i was going to post a poll on peoples' interpretations of taako & sazed's relationship but i went and looked back at the transcript of the chalice episode and i can't even post a poll because i just can't think of enough options that would actually be supported by the text?

its very very clearly a predatory apprenticeship where taako is getting free labor from sazed in exchange for teaching him, and then sazed begins to feel entitled to an equal share, at which point taako shuts him down and speaks to him in actually a pretty cruel way.

taako 'hired' sazed to be a driver and assistant and "general roadie" and i think it's perfectly fine for taako to not want him to be performing as an equal partner, but also, he was clearly taken advantage of. like sazed's proposition is an equal split of both the work and the "glory" and presumably the profit, which is a fair suggestion, but also fair for taako to turn down. but also taako was exploiting sazed's adoration in order to not pay him for his work.

i don't think that equal partnership was something taako ever even let on could be a possibility, he's pretty clear in the conversation he has with sazed that it's not something he's interested in and he "doesn't wanna keep having this conversation." its definitely something sazed really wants, but i don't think it was ever promised to him, it seems like something he's thought of that he's bringing to taako, who immediately shuts it down.

and as unfair as paying for a lot of work with cooking lessons is, it seems like that's what sazed agreed to, and it's also worth acknowledging that even though this is an arrangement i would consider unfair within my own cultural context, it could be considered completely normal and fair in faerun, like similar to a blacksmith's apprentice or something

so i guess the only questions are what sazed agreed to and why, and whether or not taako actually liked him or was just mean to him all the time. idk its all very interesting on its own let alone when compared to taako's later relationships with angus & ren, but not really open to as much interpretation as i’d thought

[ceilingfan5]

Could you maybe do some 46 and/or 49 taakitz for the prompt meme 👉🏼🥺👈🏼

(saw you doing something dangerous and flipped out)

"I can't believe you've done this," Taako hears as he slowly regains consciousness. Maybe. It's a strange voice, a little spooky and a lot gorgeous, practically musical. He could just be dead, in which case, he kind of fucked up a bit.

Taako cautiously opens his eyes, squinting into the blinding light, and beholds a real life fucking angel, the most beautiful man he’s ever seen, shrouded in enormous white wings and looking quite disappointed.

"I fucking knew you were real," Taako mutters, tasting blood.

"That's just it!" The angel's wings flap irritably, stirring up dirt around them. "You're not supposed to know I exist! Taako, I've been your guardian angel for a long time now, and I've seen you pull some dumb bullshit, but I just barely prevented you from snapping your fucking neck!"

"Can angels say fuck?" Taako teases, grinning even though it hurts.

"Focus! I'm yelling at you right now! You're in trouble! I can't even begin to explain how bad this is-!" He paces now, the gravel around his delicately sandaled feet beginning to glow.

"You know my name, angel, but I don't know yours. Can't you cut me a little slack?" Taako pushes himself into a sitting position, and it hurts like hell. Maybe he should have been a little more careful jumping off the roof, but he's incredibly pleased that this is real, and he’s not actually crazy. Or again, he’s dead, in which case his problems are solved in a slightly different way.

"It's-" the angel sighs, and glares, like this is another stupid trick. "My name is Kravitz. But you shouldn't know that. You shouldn't know I exist! How did you even- why-" He flaps his wings aggressively and flutters off the ground for a moment, touching down again, taking off again. It’s kind of cute.

"I saw you. Two years ago. When I opened the door of Sazed's car and rolled out onto the highway. You saved me, I saw you- I thought-" Taako laughs, pushing his hair out of his face. He’s so relieved he could cry. "I thought I was seeing things. It was like, things are already so goddamn bad, why not this?"

Kravitz's face softens, and his feet drop back to earth. His wings fold, and he squats down next to Taako.

"So that's why- all the self-destructive behavior I've been trying to stop-"

"Well," Taako's cheeks burn, and he looks away. "S'part of it, I guess. Hey, I really wanted to flirt with you, but I'm kind of hurting, and also the fact that you're real opens up a whole lot of questions, like. Can I talk to your boss? Cause, I mean, I got some words for the big guy, like. You did a bad job with me, god. For one. And I-" Taako can't control the tears starting to prickle his eyes now. "How come you let so many fucking bad things happen? And- and is shit just going to be like this forever? And- and I- I'd like to fucking know if there's, you know, a complaints department, cause- cause it's been a rough one for cha boi, a-and-"

"Oh, Taako," Kravitz says in the softest voice, sounding much more human than celestial. "I...I don't care how many rules it breaks. Can I hug you?"

"If you fuckin, feel like it, I guess," Taako mumbles, and Kravitz wraps his arms and wings so tightly around him he feels the sun shining through his ribs, if only for the briefest moment.

"You've been through so much," Kravitz whispers. "I wish I could have done more to keep you safe. You didn't deserve all that, Taako, you never did."

Taako can't help it. He sobs, and Kravitz holds him, and they sit there on the ground for a long while before Taako can find his words again.

"I have more questions," he chokes out, struggling to sound normal. "Number one. Did you watch me, like. A-all the time, or-"

Kravitz turns into an enormous ball of light, and Taako doesn't know much about angel anatomy, but he knows for sure his guardian is blushing. He laughs, scrubbing at his wet face.

"Okay, number two-"

[blue-mood-blue]

“Rule number one, my dude,” Taako says as he picks up a tomato for a closer inspection, “Always know who your product comes from.”

The tomato looks fine to Sazed, as does all of the other produce scattered on the stagecoach counter, but he can tell from the expression on Taako’s face that there’s something he’s missed. That’s not difficult to do - Taako has a sharp kind of attention to detail that Sazed has never managed to match, and probably never will.

He doesn’t understand what he missed. It looks delicious to him, the best stuff they’ve seen in a few towns. “You know someone in town I should have talked to?”

Taako shakes his head. He’s got that smile that only feigns patience on his face. “How much did you pay for these?” Not much - an impressively low price, in fact, which Sazed had thought was a bargain but was probably a red flag instead. His answer must be clear on his face, because Taako doesn’t wait for him to say so before snapping his fingers.

Whatever enchantment the peddler used to make the produce look fresh falls away, and everything on the counter wilts slightly. It isn’t much of a con - everything is edible, it’s not as if Sazed paid for garbage - but it’s not even close to the quality Taako demands for the show. 

“What I mean is,” Taako clarifies, “If someone wants something from you, consider why. If you can guess the reason, you’ve got the advantage.”

Sazed isn’t sure he understands the advice, but he doesn’t want to prolong the moment and his own embarrassment. He gathers the produce back into the basket and puts the mostly-fine food in their own stores. It’s fine, he thinks. He’ll have more chances to prove himself.

News travels fast in a small town, and rumors travel faster. It’s no time at all before everyone in the small community has decided on what really happened to old Walter and why his wife was carted away by the local militia.

“She never liked him,” Sazed’s mother asserts, well within earshot of her son. He’s only a child, and she assumes a child has no interest in the concerns of adults. He couldn’t possibly understand, he’s still too young. Sazed does his best to encourage that assumption, mildly playing with his toys with no indication that he’s listening. “You could tell, couldn’t you, just by the way she talked to him in public. And a hearty man like Walter getting sick like that? I always thought something about that smelled.”

One of the other adults at the table leaned in closer. They glanced at Sazed, and spoke in a whisper that was almost at normal speaking volume. “It was arsenic, I heard. Slipped a little in his food to make him sick. She might’ve gotten away with it if she hadn’t used a little too much that last time.”

For the little boy sitting on the floor, playing a quiet game and listening, that was the part that stuck. Just a little is okay. Just a little arsenic only makes someone sick.

The show was stunning, the audience was full, they have money to keep them going for months and the promise of success in every surrounding town for miles. But Taako still sits at the table and stares into the middle distance as if none of it means anything. He’s smiling and it’s an empty expression. There’s a bottle of wine next to him, and he hasn’t even bothered opening it.

Sometimes Sazed wants to ask Taako about what he’s looking for. If it’s ambition driving him, Sazed doesn’t think that Taako will ever be satisfied. Maybe that’s just the nature of success, to always want more. He doesn’t know that he’s ever seen Taako actually happy.

Sazed thinks, maybe, he’s starting to understand the dissatisfaction. There’s a restlessness building up in him with the surety that the show could be more - would be more - if he was just given a chance to be a part of it. The feeling bleeds into everything else until even the parts he used to enjoy have soured, and it’s all he ever thinks about.

He wants more. The more he wants, it seems, the less likely he is to have anything.

He’s about to retreat to his own cot because someone should get some sleep and Taako isn’t going to when he looks like that, when he hears Taako say something. Not necessarily to him, not necessarily to anyone, but Sazed is curious enough to hear him out.

“It’s fucked up.” There’s a long pause. Sazed thinks that might be it, but Taako continues. “How you can think you want something, work so hard to get it, and it’s not even close. A fucking joke.”

Taako doesn’t say anything else. Sazed goes to bed, and a couple of hours later he hears Taako get up and go to his own cot. 

Sazed doesn’t think he’s asking too much. Of course he wants to be a part of things - a bigger part of things. He wants the admiring stares of the audience, the smiles and cheers. He wants to impress Taako, as impossible as that sounds. He wants a chance. 

But Taako is always preoccupied, and so Sazed thinks, maybe it’s time to make his chance.

He visits the apothecary, and the old man behind the counter raises an eyebrow when he tells the man what he’s looking for. “What d’ya need arsenic for?” The man’s expression doesn't give anything away, and Sazed shifts nervously.

“Do you ask all of your customers what they're going to do with what they buy? What does it matter? What do people ever buy arsenic for?” He’ll be two towns away before he’s going to use it. The man won’t be able to put anything together even if Sazed does answer his questions.

The man hums in consideration, examines his stock, and hands over a small bottle. “This should do the trick, then.” And before the man can get a better look at him than he already has, Sazed leaves.

Sazed keeps checking his pocket on his way back to their camp, just to make sure the bottle is still there. The feeling of the glass makes the whole thing more real. He’s going to go through with it, and the tiny weight in his pocket is proof.

He wishes the little flutters of nerves would settle down. It's a good plan. It's a solid plan. A little sneaky, but completely harmless. He’ll slip a little of the arsenic into Taako’s food, just enough to make him sick. It has to be onstage, Taako has to be embarrassed, otherwise he'd power through it to do the show anyway. And then, of course, Taako will have to pay attention. Sazed will finish the show, it'll be obvious that he can handle the stage, and what's more, Taako will know that he's dependable in an emergency.

Sazed takes a deep breath and taps the bottle in his pocket again. It's all about to change for him. He's going after everything he wants.

He hides the arsenic in the chicken.

He watches from the side of the stage for his opportunity.

He sees Taako take a bite. He sees the way Taako’s face changes.

Everything falls to pieces.

It must have been the apothecary, Sazed decides weeks later in a dark tavern, hidden away in the corner. Rule number fucking one - know who your product comes from. It wasn’t arsenic in that bottle. The man guessed what Sazed wanted to do with it, and he guessed wrong, and then Sazed had everything that he wanted. 

He doesn’t want any of it.

The show died with Taako. Sazed could’ve repainted the side of the stagecoach, would’ve had a head start of an existing audience, but. He can’t imagine standing on that stage. He’s sure all he’ll hear is Taako’s voice, all he’ll see is the way Taako did everything better. He doesn’t want a cooking show. He never wanted a fucking cooking show. Sazed isn’t sure he knows what he wanted.

He doesn’t have anything now. He burned everything that was left. Sazed put everything into the stagecoach, every last hint or reminder of what he did, and he set fire to it and he stared at it as if ridding himself of the evidence would somehow relieve the panic and guilt swirling in his chest. It didn’t work; nothing has. He feels as if the fire is still licking at his heels everywhere he walks, the burning tracks outlining exactly what he’s guilty of to everyone he passes.

Sazed takes another drink of the awful beer in front of him. He came to the tavern because of a job offer, but he’d rather just stay where he is. For the first time since the fire he feels concealed; for once he doesn't feel like someone is watching him from just out of sight.

Sazed is here to meet someone though, and before he can make any attempt to slip away because of second thoughts she's spotted him from across the room. She's a tall orc woman who looks like she could break most of the other people in the tavern in half if she was so inclined, and it's with relief that Sazed observes her relatively friendly expression. She sits down at the table across from him. “So, you're the chef?”

It's a horrible idea, but when the ad for the position fell into his lap, he may have… fudged his skills somewhat. He knows enough, and he hopes that a different kitchen will clear away the possibility of ghosts. “I'm the chef, yeah.” He is now, isn't he? Now that there's no one else to tell him differently. He tries not to think about it like that, like the accident might have been something he wanted. He can't let himself think about that.

“Great. Are you ready to go? Maybe now? This is a really weird hiring process for us - boss lady wants to talk to you personally. She'd rather interview you on-site.”

Sazed hesitates. He doesn't relish the thought of going anywhere with a stranger, but it's either make an attempt at moving forward or keep running. It's an opportunity, there for him to take.

Taako didn't have any family. He didn't have any friends. No one to wonder what happened to him. There is no one looking for Sazed.

The moon is fake, there are wars that the world has forgotten, and Sazed can't process any of it around the expression of the woman who calls herself Madam Director as she stares down at him.

Deep, endless, boundless grief.

“I won’t ask why. Frankly, you don’t have an explanation that I want to hear.” She takes a deep breath. “I’m sure you can guess why I’ve brought you here.”

He doesn’t have an answer. He thinks he knew from the moment it happened that there would price for what he did, eventually, from someone. She continues.

“It’s not my place to pass judgement, or to decide how to punish you. Much as I might like to. But you’re all that I can offer her, once we find her. In place of him.”

He doesn’t say it while he’s being carried away to wherever they’re going to keep him, Sazed doesn’t say anything at all because there’s nothing to say, but he wonders if this woman and Taako had been looking for the same thing.

[itsmyhugbear]

Yeah I get your stance on the Taako/sazed thing, I personally think it wasnt abusive, it just wasn't great or necessarily healthy (except for the whole poisoning an entire town and blaming it on taako to get to him thing, that was pretty messed up)

Ha ha ha yeah that whole mass murder and framing thing was kinda bad!

In seriousness tho I think people are entitled to their opinions and headcanons and it’s clear that the character of Sazed brings up a lot of unpleasant feelings for a lot of people, and that’s completely fair, but I do have kind of an issue with it being treated like it’s incontrovertible canon that Sazed was abusive towards Taako because as far as I can see there’s no textual evidence for that at all. Not every interpersonal relationship that causes discomfort is abuse. Asking your boss for a raise isn’t abuse! An abuser is someone with power over their victim and I really can’t see in canon that Taako was in any way subjugated by Sazed during Sizzle it Up - I mean if anything it seems to have been the other way around. Which is what makes Sazed’s eventual betrayal narratively compelling, right? Taako held that image in his mind for so long of Sazed as a victim of Taako’s own arrogance and carelessness because it fit with the person he thought he knew. That’s how I think of it anyway /__\

[lyravellas]

Some things from Story and Song Part 2

Travis's voice crack when he asks Griffin if the voidfish are okay! The ruffboi is also a kindboi. 

Full disclosure: I fucking love Travis's "Girl from Ipanema plays in all elevators all the time" goof because it always reminds me of when Griffin did the shittiest/best cover of it AS MOTHER FUCKING UPSY back in the Crystal Kingdom.

 "Hey... Lizard." Magnus' fucking wonderfully shitty comeback to Carey made me choke 

 Travis's roleplaying during the training scenes with the bear was absolutely incredible. Everyone was on fire this week, natch, but this was incredible and basically thank Travis for Travis. 

Speaking of incredible roleplaying, it would be remiss of me not to mention Taako's interactions with both Kravitz and Joaquin, which both had incredible weight and perfect characterization simultaneously. Even though they obviously share the same wit, Taako and Justin are probably the least similar player/character duo personality-wise out of the THB* and it blows my mind how good Justin is at making Taako so incredibly complex while also always making sure he stays true to the character. (Also, bless Justin and Griffin for giving us Taakitz kiss scenes despite the fact that it must be real weird to talk about smooching your bro) 

SUPERHERO JOAQUIN SPINOFF PLEASE, GRIFFIN 

Taako obviously stole the show in this ep (not complaining! I loved every second of it) but Clint actually had so many moments that squeezed my heart in the best way. Here they are: 

Obviously when Merle was talking about his kids, because it was clearly Clint McElroy talking about his sons and how much he loves them which is wonderful. 

Him clapping during Taako and Kravitz's kiss (if that WAS him, it might've been Travis) and Merle's "I like that guy" in response to Taako saying he saw his boyfriend. Basically, I would like Clint McElroy to adopt me. I am sure I am one of many. 

His line “It means there is a happy ending if we get to it” after Paloma’s last prophecy is underrated I think.

Lucas “Nerdlord” Miller getting a splinter.

Taako refusing to hug/forgive Lucretia is also an excellent (and justified) character decision on Justin's part. The two characters I could see never really being able to forgive her are Taako and Davenport (possibly Barry to an extent but he seems like he might be a water under bridges kind of dude), because what she did to them was very very bad. Lucretia is an excellent character who I love, but taking away someone's only family or someone's self-sufficiency is definitely a heavy offense. 

There are interesting parallels that exist between Lucretia and Taako, come to think of it?  Both can be arrogant, which can get them in trouble:  the incident at Glamour Springs for Taako (obviously the majority of the blame lies on Sazed here though) and Lucretia becoming disastrously focused on her plan to erect a barrier around the plane (a somewhat understandable result of her desperation to save the world from The Hunger and the relics).  Both start out on the journey being ‘good out here’, with Taako usually running away from danger and Lucretia usually staying away from it, but both eventually move past this (Lucretia in the judges’ loop, Taako throughout the Balance arc and notably in today’s episode).  There might be more examples, or maybe I’m just throwing a ton of spaghetti at an even more ton of walls.

All of this being said. I am very worried about a potential Lucretia sacrifice next episode. This would kill the man. And also kill Lucretia. 

Lup's speech to the army gave me mad Lord of the Rings vibes. Good shit Griffin 

Griffin organically bringing together every character we've met along the journey made me so emotional and was honestly so powerful for something so objectively cheesy?  Good SHIT Griffin

Also, all hail Griffin McElroy, blessed creator of the "Bury your gays to grow invincible dryad lesbians" trope. 

 I'm very excited to learn more about The Hunger next episode. Obviously it won't just be one long fight, and I really want to meet "The Boss", so to speak, now that John is no longer the main dude of The Hunger. 

Also!  As entertaining as everyone going ‘Huh’ to Taako’s plan to use Lucretia’s spell was, I’d be interested to see if Griffin has a more in-depth explanation to why no one’s thought of that before?  It won’t ruin anything for me if it doesn’t happen but it might be interesting to see.

Speaking of John, was Merle's time reversal sphere potentially intended to be used to save him? I'm interested about how it'll come into play later.

* Merle being a deadbeat dad in the past is a huge exception to this, because Clint is rad and obviously not a deadbeat dad.  With this notable exception though, I would say that Clint and current Merle share some similar personality traits.

[mllelaurel]

003 | If you're still doing the meme, Taako?

How I feel about this character: My precious trash child! He is such a little shit, and he is perfect and I love him.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: I ship Taako/Kravitz like burning! I ship Taako/Magnus right about on the level of this fic, though I can also see them being friends with benefits/sliding into lovers during the Stolen Century, then recovering their memories after they have both moved on to loving other people, and maybe still loving each other a little. I think he and Barry could easily have blurred the lines a little: they love and trust each other so much, but I don’t think it would ever be romantic per se, and whatever happened would 100% be with Lup’s blessing. 

My non-romantic OTP for this character: I’m gonna take this question to mean ‘platonic/familial relationship in this character’s life which gives me all the feels.’ In which case, it would have to be Taako and Lup, though Tres Horny Boys and Taako and the rest of the IPRE crew go here as well.

My unpopular opinion about this character: I’m not crazy about the abusive ex!Sazed fanon. Not because I think Sazed isn’t a horrible person, but because I find it kind of cheap as an angst source. I think the power imbalance between the two actually tilted in Taako’s favor. Plus this trope usually comes in hand with poor woobie!Taako, and come on. I think keeping their relationship fucked up exactly on the level canon gives us is much more interesting and nuanced. 

Which isn’t to say a good author couldn’t sell me on them fucking before Glamour Springs, and the sort of scars that’s likely to leave on Taako’s psyche when he learns what really happened. (This fic is a great example!) But then, a good author can sell me on nigh-anything. 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I absolutely know why we don’t see more of his and Kravitz’s relationship on screen (playing a romance with your sib is mad awkward!) But that’s what fic is for.

My het ship: Nope! He gay.

My slash ship: Taako/Kravitz. 

My OTP: ...Man, I’m noticing how redundant some of these questions are. Taako/Kravitz, again.

My OT3: I can see Taako and Kravitz being poly, but a fic author would have to sell me on an actual threesome with anyone. Now, if we had gotten Kravitz and Magnus fighting back-to-back in the astral plane like Griffin had planned, I might be singing a different tune now...

My cross-over ship: I haven’t really thought of anything good to put here. Though we do know his type - flirting with antagonists mid-battle, and if he’s lucky, said antagonist turns out to be a genuinely good-hearted nerd. 

My kink: Taako does what Taako wants. Which varies wildly. Likes bossing people around, likes dirty talk, the tentacles are probably canon. 

A head-canon fact: Taako and Lucretia were quite close as friends during the Stolen Century. And, as a corollary, I fully subscribe to Justin’s assertion that he’s never going to forgive her. I’m a terrible person who likes sad things.

My gender bend: As with Lup, not a lot changes. Girl-Taako is just as gay, just as fond of flirty-length skirts, and just as likely to tell strange antagonists she’s gonna tentacle their tits. She adores Angus just as much, though she may be a bit more prickly about it, no way she’s gonna let people think she’s the kind of girl who goes goo-goo over a kid. Swapping Taako also involves swapping Kravitz, but that ain’t hard. 

As a note: because TAZ world doesn’t bank on a lot of gender/sexuality social tropes, gender bends really don’t change a character all that much. 

[valen-but-not-tine]

Yo the adventure zone for the fandom questionnaire

God i love the adventure zone thanks palWant as my mentor: Taako honestly. The boy acts aloof but he takes every opportunity to teach someone something he knows and he was so so patient with Angus in his lessons. His happy ending included opening a school. The interactions with Ren. I'm ready to learn magic or how to cook. Bake cupcakes for: I baked them for the sweet flips weddingLend my books to: lucretia, don't know how much our interests overlap but I bet she's the type that would be content hanging out with someone where you're both Judy sitting I the same room reading your own book with some teaPut thumbtacks of the chair thereof: Sazed Have a crush on: I mean I'm not much of a crush person but LupPack up and leave if they move next door: kalenFollow as captain of a ship: good ol' CaptainportPick as my partner in a buddy movie: Angus mcdonaldMarry: Ren Want as my boss: lucretia. Sees got her stuff together. Very she had the moon base up and the bob founded in under a month. Sue: Lucas Miller. Fuck that guy. Want as my best friend: Magnus