#AND THEN IT GOT LONG AND TOOK FOREVER HERE HAVE IT
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I was born blind in my left eye. It never got fixed. Many of these points are true in my experience, except I still have an eyeball. Here are some additional fun facts from my realm of experience:
-my elementary school knew I was blind in one eye but did not tell my parents. I started to get a little farsighted in the 4th grade so I went to get readers and the eye doctor told me, a nine year old girl, that my life was forever fucked and I’d never be fully independent, never drive, never go to college, because I was disabled and it was too late to fix it. We got a second opinion. And then a third.
- (you can try to fix my kind of blindness up until about the age of five because the brain is still really elastic and capable of fixing the broken shit. They fix it by putting a patch over your good eye to force your bad eye to see. They tried it when I was nine but it was too late, so I essentially spent a year having my life ruined by being suddenly completely blind all the time and it sucked ass.)
- you make a great marksman and baseball batter once you figure out how your lack of depth perception works. Not a great outfielder though.
- things sometimes just kind of vanish on you. I got a massive concussion as a kid from running into a pole head on. The pole had been there as long as I could remember. I interacted with the pole every day. But one day I was running and the last thing I remember is thinking, hey, where did the pole go? Like the equipment holding it up was still there but the pole just seemed gone. This also happened several times to me when trying to catch pop flies or headbutt soccer balls. They’d just go away.
- people will indeed forget all the time and throw shit at you from the blind side and hit you in the head, or hug you and scare the shit out of you. A boy asked me out once after he hit me with a frisbee on my blind side.
- and then some people will always think of you when they encounter one eyed things. When I was an RA in college, some of my residents were so very pleased to bring me a one-eyed goldfish they’d found in the feeder tank at the pet store 😩 we named him one eyed Willy and he lived for like five years and survived two cross country trips in a car (in a Nalgene bottle both ways)
- I don’t have a traditional lazy eye (my eyeball can see but there is no connection between it and my brain so the message goes unrecieved) so I don’t really have much of a wandering eye, unlike other folks with amblyopia. I can also only cross my good eye, I cannot wink with my good eye without moving my entire face (and I had to learn how to do this by pushing my cheek and forehead muscles together with my hands until I could do it on my own so I look very stupid) and my good eye also tends to have trouble when looking at blue light for too long since it gets all the strain.
-additionally, the only times my eye seems to look lazy is in the occasional picture. I call it my googly eye.
- re writing advice: I took a writing class in college where we spent a lot of time journaling about our own bodies and then writing stories with what we had learned… my wonderful teacher guessed that I was blind in my left eye because of how I described things. I never used left or right when talking about objects being around characters’ bodies, only front and back. She fucked me up with that one.
- I get a lot of bruises on my left arm because I struggle with depth perception when walking around corners/doors on that side
- they gave me glasses as a kid to try to fix it after patching didn’t work (leading to the discovery that I don’t have a traditional lazy eye) and the left side was the biggest and thickest fucking lens you’ve ever seen and the right side was just normal glass no rx. It made the glasses sit crooked on my face so I stopped wearing them.
- they test you for amblyopia during your drivers license test and I cheated both times I’ve had to go take it 🙃 they put a ball on one lens and a box on the other and they ask if the ball is inside or outside the box and I didn’t see no goddamn ball but the man next to me said it was inside so I did too.
- if I hadn’t cheated, I could still get a license, just with a special note on it, which i didn’t know both times I cheated.
- and yes, cannot agree more with being a safe ass driver. People get frustrated because I follow so far behind other cars and give people so much room all the time but I have a clean ass driving record.
- following that, I have a hard time sitting in the front seat when someone else is driving, especially if they are tailgaters because I feel like I am always about to crash. My husband, a notorious tailgater, says I have an invisible break I hit whenever he’s too close to someone.
- my parents made me go to a chiropractor as a kid to see if the reasoning for my blindness was a pinched nerve. It did not work.
- a redditor once told me he would end himself if he were ‘as cursed as’ me because the idea of being blind in one eye was so insanely distasteful to him. I tried explaining to him that it’s literally the only life I’ve ever known and he kept trying to tell me it was disgusting and unnatural and I lived a hideous life. I was like, dude. Go to therapy.
- if you are blind in one eye but still have an eyeball, you have one fun fact for Two Truths and a Lie always directly on hand and no one will ever guess that’s a truth.
- I am especially clumsy, and sometimes when I get up to do something and start knocking shit down, my husband plays the Godzilla theme song in his phone and it always makes me die laughing.
- when my parents found out, they demanded to know why I didn’t tell them, and I had to explain to them that it was literally all I’ve ever known, how did I know it was wrong? I thought everyone could only see one side of their nose.
Sorry this got long. I can’t sleep lol.
writing advice for characters with a missing eye: dear God does losing an eyes function fuck up your neck. Ever since mine crapped out I've been slowly and unconsciously shifting towards holding my head at an angle to put the good eye closer to the center. and human necks. are not meant to accommodate that sorta thing.
#this was fun and long#it really doesn’t affect me like people seem to think#apart from being a big fucking klutz#people are always like#HOW DO YOU LIVE#idk dude I really didn’t get offered anything else so
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𝑳𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝒃𝒖𝒃𝒃𝒍𝒆
⋆。𖦹°⭒˚。⋆。𖦹°⭒˚。⋆。𖦹°⭒˚。⋆。𖦹°⭒˚。⋆。𖦹°⭒˚。⋆。𖦹°⭒˚。⋆。𖦹°⭒˚。⋆。𖦹°⭒˚。⋆
「 Synopsis」 : It's been a while since you've seen your boyfriend and the last thing you want to do is leave his side.
★Paring: Bf idol! Bang Chan x fem!reader
★Genre: fluff + smut MDNI
★Word Count: 1.3k
★WARNINGS: Foolishness, unprotected sex (Don't do this) nicknames:my love, baby.
A/N: I've been really busy and a bit sad lately so I wrote this to forget my problems for a while lol, so I hope you enjoy it. English is not my first language so sorry if I made a mistake. If you like it please comment and share.
⋆。˚୨𝖬𝖺𝗌𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍୧˚。⋆
The sun had been up for a long time, the noise of the lively city could be heard through the window and you could swear that you ignored some calls just to stay in bed a little longer, but it was inevitable, with the warmth of the sheets and surrounded by the arms of your boyfriend who had returned, everything else could wait.
“Are you awake?” You couldn't help the smile that appeared on your lips when you heard his voice, you had missed him so much.
“It's weird that you see me sleep, you know?” You opened one of your eyes only to see him leaning on one of his arms while he gently caressed your hair.
“I can't help it,” he came closer to leave a kiss on your forehead, “I need to know that you're here, with me.”
You felt your heart beat strongly when you heard his words and you came closer to hug him. Bang Chan was a busy person and it was hard to have to be apart when he had to go to work, but when he came back they didn't waste a second and did everything they hadn't been able to.
Sometimes they would go for walks at night holding hands, they would go to places, eat their favorite food and sometimes they would just lay in bed while enjoying each other's quality. It was like being wrapped in an invisible bubble where only the two of you existed and no one could get in.
“I'm here” you looked into his eyes, you wanted him to know that you were telling the truth, that you were speaking from the bottom of your chest “forever”
Despite the warmth that Bang Chan showed people, you knew that not anyone could get inside, but at that moment from the way he looked at you and smiled at you, you knew that you were already in his heart.
“I love you” you said without being able to avoid it and before he could say anything you kissed him. You melted into the heat of that kiss giving everything of yourself, you were completely in love with him and you knew that your heart belonged completely to him.
Between kisses and small caresses you moved all over the bed until you ended up on top of his body and a shiver ran down your spine when the sheets left your naked body. Bang Chan took your legs and caressed your skin while he looked at you with a combination of desire and admiration.
“You look beautiful just like that”
“I know” you answered mockingly while you moved your hips a little on the bulge you felt under you “I know you love seeing me on top of you” Bang Chan let out a small moan and you felt his hands tighten a little on your thighs.
“Uh huh” his hands moved down your body leaving a warm trail wherever he moved, but you stopped when his hands cupped your breasts. Bang Chan leaned forward a little until he was sitting with you on his lap and he got closer to your face “I love everything about you my love” Your mouths came together again in a warm and slow kiss, full of all the feelings that could not be expressed with words.
You stifled a moan when his hands gently squeezed your breasts and he seemed to notice, but he continued to taste your lips while his fingers hooked onto your nipples. Your hands landed on his strong shoulders and you scratched his skin when he pulled away biting your lip. The desire in your bodies was becoming more and more evident and with the kisses on your neck it was difficult to try to keep your hips still on his lap, but Bang Chan ignored your little movements while he concentrated on passing his mouth over your breasts.
You arched your back, letting his hands support your weight as he ran his tongue over one of your nipples and his teeth grazed your skin, sending shivers down your spine. Your fingers tangled in the curly locks of his hair and you closed your eyes, letting yourself be carried away by the spiral of sensations.
You moved your hips once more, looking for something to calm the tickling in your pussy, but Bang Chan grabbed your hips tightly, making you stop. You looked at him with a silent plea, and even though he wanted to stop, he couldn't at this point, he was just as needy as you.
“Chanie…” you wrapped your arms around his neck and moved your hips on his cock once more, urging him on. You heard the ragged sigh he let out and moaned when you felt the tip of his cock touch your wet walls until it reached your entrance. You sank in, feeling him slowly fill you up until he hit rock bottom.
“I love you” he said to you when you looked into his eyes.
Time stopped in your little bubble, as he thrust his hips and you felt him leave his load inside you again. Your body was marked by his bites and the traces of your nails were left on his back, his lips were swollen from the long kissing sessions and your legs trembled violently as your mind became clouded only by the pleasure you felt.
“One more” Bang Chan begged in your ear, you could only nod and open your mouth letting out his name. Bang Chan pushed his hips and you wrapped your legs around his waist while his hands moved down your body until they landed on your clit, he moved his fingers in circles making your body shudder and your pussy tighten from the sensation
“I can't take it anymore” you said holding back the tears in your eyes as you felt a wave of pleasure run through your entire body
“Come” you immediately released yourself without being able to stop it and instantly you felt Bang Chan's release spill over your thighs. His body collapsed on top of yours and you stayed still while you both caught your breath. Your hands caressed his hair while his arms surrounded you, it was as if neither of you wanted to move, until you started to feel a little suffocated by his weight.
“Baby… I think I need to breathe a little” Bang Chan moved immediately asking for your forgiveness and separated from you leaving you a void, but he helped you up before going to clean up.
After taking a shower and with clean sheets they lay down again simply enjoying each other’s company. You didn’t know when you fell asleep on his chest, but you woke up with a smile knowing that he was still by your side.
“Did you sleep well?” You nodded moving to look at him and gave him a smile.
Bang Chan took your hand and kissed your fingers, but you noticed that there was something strange in one of them, you moved your hand away and on your ring finger you noticed a ring with a shiny stone, you looked at it very carefully without understanding what was happening until Bang Chan let out a laugh.
“What is this?” you asked nervously and excitedly
“My love… you know that I have loved you from the first moment you entered that place and since then my love for you has only grown, you have supported me and helped me when I needed it and that alone has made me understand how much I want to have you in my life” his words made your heart beat with emotion and you could not control the tears that were accumulating in your eyes “that is why I want to ask you to marry me”
“Yes, of course” you said releasing the tears and hugging him tightly while he laughed and hugged you tightly knowing that he would never let you go.
𝐴𝐿𝐿 𝑊𝑂𝑅𝐾𝑆 𝐶𝑅𝐸𝐴𝑇𝐸𝐷 𝐵𝑌 ©𝐾𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑦𝟼𝑐𝘩𝑜𝑖 𝑀𝑈𝑆𝑇 𝑁𝑂𝑇 𝐵𝐸 𝑃𝐿𝐴𝐺𝐼𝐴𝑅𝐼𝑍𝐸𝐷 𝑂𝑅 𝐶𝑂𝑃𝐼𝐸𝐷
#stray kids#bang chan#kitty6choi writing#skz x reader#christopher bang#bang chan x reader#bang chan smut#bang chan stray kids#bang chan skz#bang chan imagines#kitty6choi#mr.choi
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Heyyy
What about something very cutesy where Kenan and reader are on vacation(where he went this summer with his friends) and reader is waiting for Kenan to get ready on their bed to go out for dinner and when he finishes he goes to her and they kiss etc and Kenan doesn’t want to leave anymore but the reader obliges him. Little messy I know😔
STAY IN? - KENAN YILDIZ
Kenan wants to stay in
Kenan Yildiz x fem! reader
︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿
The hotel room was softly lit, the sounds of waves crashing on the beach outside filling the air with a peaceful rhythm.
I was sprawled across the bed, my legs dangling off the edge as I absentmindedly scrolled through my phone.
Kenan had been in the bathroom for what felt like forever, getting ready for our dinner reservations.
I sighed dramatically, calling out to him, “And you say I’m the one who takes forever to get ready? What’re you doing in there, applying a full face of makeup?”
From behind the closed door, I heard him laugh. “Patience, woman. I’m almost done,” he teased back.
I rolled my eyes, but couldn’t stop the grin spreading across my face. I was honestly just excited to spend a night out with him after our long day exploring the island.
It felt like we were in our own little world here, with no schedules, no responsibilities—just each other.
Finally, the bathroom door creaked open, and Kenan stepped out, adjusting the collar of his shirt.
My eyes traveled over him, taking in the sight of his sun-kissed skin and how ridiculously good he looked in that fitted shirt. He smirked when he caught me staring.
“What? You like what you see?” he asked, his voice a low tease as he crossed the room to me.
I shrugged, trying to play it cool. “You clean up alright, I guess,” I said, though the way my eyes lingered on him gave me away.
Kenan’s smirk widened as he leaned down over me, one hand resting on the mattress beside my head. “Just alright?” he murmured, his breath hot against my ear, sending a shiver down my spine.
“Yeah,” I teased, my heart skipping a beat as he brought his lips closer to mine. “But you really took your time in there.”
“Maybe I was trying to look good for you,” he said softly, brushing his lips over mine in a quick peck.
I let out a small, satisfied hum, intending to sit up and head to the door, but Kenan had other ideas. He caught my chin between his fingers, tilting my face back toward him.
Another kiss—slower this time, his lips lingering on mine like he was savoring the taste.
I sighed into the kiss, melting under his touch as he deepened it, turning what was supposed to be a quick peck into something that had my toes curling.
The kisses came one after another, each one slower, more drawn out than the last. Kenan’s hands slid around my waist, pulling me flush against him as he tilted his head, capturing my lips in a passionate kiss that left me breathless.
It was the kind of kiss that made the world outside fade away, the kind that made me forget about dinner reservations and everything else.
“Mmm,” Kenan hummed against my mouth, his hands sliding down to rest on my hips. “Maybe we should just stay in tonight…” He mumbled the words between kisses, his voice husky and warm.
I let out a breathless laugh, pushing lightly at his chest even as I felt myself giving in to the way his fingers traced circles against my skin. “Kenan,” I protested weakly, but he only kissed me again, his lips finding that spot just below my ear that made my knees go weak.
“Seriously,” he whispered, his lips brushing my ear, “I don’t think I can leave this room now.”
As much as I wanted to just melt into his embrace and forget all about dinner, I knew we’d regret missing it. I placed a hand on his cheek, pulling back just enough to look into his darkened eyes.
“We have a reservation,” I reminded him, though it came out in a breathless whisper.
Kenan groaned dramatically, leaning his forehead against mine. “Who cares about food when I’ve got you right here?”
I laughed, gently detangling myself from his hold and stepping back. “We can come back here after dinner,” I promised, giving him a cheeky grin. “But first, we eat.”
He gave me that adorable pout, but there was a glint in his eyes that told me he wasn’t giving up that easily. “Fine,” he sighed, grabbing my hand as I started toward the door. “But you owe me dessert when we get back.”
“That can be arranged,” I said, my heart fluttering at the way he looked at me like I was the only thing in the world that mattered.
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yes PLEASE write about quinn knocking you up and also please never stop writing smut i feel FERAL
I got a couple asks about this so let me roll them all into one here yall are horny unhinged individuals together now
Quinn is unfortunately insanely susceptible to baby fever. He can't help himself, the thought of having a little extended family to provide for is sweet enough on its own but getting there is what he's really been focused on recently. He cannot clear his mind of the idea at all and it's starting to effect every aspect of his life. His thoughts are always frenzied and his brain fuzzy, he can barely focus on the ice and you constantly catch him zoned out and have to draw his attention back to you. What's he even thinking about?
This all started after he saw you interacting with some kids at a charity event. He didn't think it'd be a personal attack on his psyche to see you leaning down to their level so they felt more included while you chatted about your days or whatever random thoughts of theirs that sprung to mind. They all seemed so happy in your presence and you've always just naturally been great with kids so it's no surprise to you, but Quinn instantaneously fell victim to the infectious thought process of parenthood.
all he's thought about for days is how pretty you'd look pregnant and how good of a parent you'd be. Would your kids have your smile? Your eyes? Hopefully they had your sweet personality at the very least. You two could be the overly supportive cheesy hockey parents when your kid got a little older too, if they took after him and wanted to play. Quinn would fall down these hour long rabbit holes in his own mind of what your future would look like with an addition to the family and it was becoming more and more of a necessity every day.
Eventually it gets to a point where he can't fucking contain it anymore and he lets the idea slip while he's got you pinned to the mattress below him.
Quinn's fingers are holding your hips tight enough to bruise while he's buried inside you, panting praises and explicit compliments against your neck in rhythm with his thrusts. He can't get the image of you all pretty and pregnant out of his brain at all, the only thing keeping him from it is a thin latex and a question really. He didn't wanna ruin the moment but it was out of his control at this point, the need overtaking critical thinking skills.
"Fuck- please let me put a baby in you- shit- p-please- c-can't stop thinkin' about it- fuck i need it so bad...'m sorry-"
His voice sounded so broken, moans and whines cutting through his words against his will. You had no idea he felt this way and fuck you wish he'd said something sooner because you've been going through the same misery he has. For the same reason. The same exact event that permeated his peace with the idea of kids with you was the one that had you dizzy thinking about him being a dad. Safe to say your communication skills were lacking during this cause both of you were afraid to ask but now that you're on the same page? You're in for it.
You respond enthusiastically, nodding quickly and immediately pleading for him to do just that. Quinn's chest fluttered at your whined pleas and as much as it pained him to pull out in the moment it was definitely worth it to sink back into you raw. He wanted this to last forever but the way you felt so fucking warm and wet around him was ultimately his undoing, much to his own protest. He didn't wanna finish without dragging you along either, his thrusts fell out of rhythm as he snaked a hand between your bodies to circle your clit, trying his best to take you with him.
"Shit- you're gonna be so pretty- fuck- god I'm so fuckin' lucky-"
Your nails sunk into his shoulders as you pulled him closer, legs shaking as you tipped off the edge of your orgasm with a whine of his name. He almost immediately followed you, hands gripping behind your knees to fold you in half under him, allowing him to sink deeper than before. Quinn's vision blurred with black spots and his voice pitched up into whiney pleas as he filled you up, finally getting what's plagued him for fucking weeks now. Doesn't matter if this was the time that did it or not, he was dead set on fucking you full of his cum over and over and over until you got the results you both wanted (and then some extra for good measure ofc)
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Dragon Dreamer pt. XV
previous chapter- fourteen
masterlist
tags: @beebeechaos @r-3dlips @emery-aka-emmy @watermel0nsugarhigh @delaynew @moonymoo1 @purple-1995 @littleblackcatinwonderland @fall-winter-heart97 @mandeepandee1997 @pedro-pascal-love @thelastemzy @reyndaisy @saintkittykat @theadharablack @thatkindofgurl @alexandra-001 @itsaslaminak @iv7867
gosh this one took forever. I was scared I got into a rut for inspiration but I think I'm just burnt out from life, not from writing. On a positive note, since this took so long and I had so much time to think about the story, I have gained A LOT of ideas for future chaps.
In the early hours of the morning, while Franny dressed Daenys in her protective riding gear, the Princess was given time to think over the choice at hand. Bring Cregan along to Rook's Rest for him to lead the royal siblings through the keep as protection, or leave him here to sit and await her return.
They had decided to delay the flight to Duskendale and Rook's rest another day due to Morningstar sleeping heavily in her nest. Rhaenyra had allowed it, secretly relieved to have her children safe within the castle walls another night. Daenys slept a few hours in a dreamless sleep, discomforted by the thought of Cregan being in his guest chambers halls away.
Part of her was rational, weighing pros and cons of the situations.
Another part of her, nagging at the back of her mind, thought herself to be swayed by her wants. Had she grown too dependent on the Northern Lord over the past weeks? Perhaps she was. Whether it was a good or a bad thing was still to be decided.
Daenys glanced longingly at the notebooks left neatly on her desk. She had not used them since before she departed for Winterfell. Perhaps the need to write and draw out every dream she had dwindled down like a neglected hearth. Or, perhaps it was the positive outside influence that kept her from such maddening behaviors. Those notebooks consumed her day and night. There hadn't been a day where she missed an entry, whether it lasted one word or one thousand. Black tendrils of flame or a simple budding rose.
She felt an almost urging call to continue them, to build off from where she had left. It might be good for her to document such things, like the accuracies of Lucerys' and Jaehaerys' deaths.
There was no time now, anyway.
Daenys thanked Franny as the young girl left the chambers, allowing Cregan to enter now that she was decent.
At her belt, which had been black steel molded into two intertwining dragons, Daenys fiddled with the gifted knife fretfully. Cregan's entrance had not shifted her thoughts away from the dilemma at hand, though his warmth filled the room like a breath of dragonflame. He curiously scanned the room, taking in all the personality it had collected through the years. His eyes caught the brown pelts lying on her bed, turning a curious and playful look to the Princess.
Blushing, Daenys didn't meet his eye, still turning the dagger in her nimble hands. "It got cold."
He huffed a laugh, "I'm sure it did. Weeks spent in tents in the snow, and you are felled by your own familar quarters."
She quickly changed topics, feeling embarrassed, though Cregan was more prideful than judging. "This is for you." She shealthed her own dagger again, admiring the cold black handle against the white of her armor. Shuffling through a drawer, Daenys found exactly what she was searching for. Revealing her grand find like a dragon showing off its glinting hoard of treasure, she presented a dragonglass dagger to Cregan. "To replace the one you gave away." The dragonglass had originally been a nameday present from Daemon years ago, something that she appreciated greatly but never found a use for in her peaceful days on dragonstone. It would carry a greater purpose in Cregan's hands, anyway. The tip of the handle was formed like a dragon's head, as was Daenys' dagger, a silver direwolf. Switching sigils, the two were marked by each other in all ways but physical.
Cregan took it from her hands tentatively, turning and admiring it in his hold. With the faintest prick to his fingertip, an angry red dot shot up. "Damn," he whispered, unexpecting the precise sharpness of the blade. Daenys stifled a giggle, turning to grab a cloth to clot up the small wound.
"Silly Stark." She murmured between them, smiling when he lifted his other hand to tilt her chin up.
"I suppose I need my smart Velayron to make sure I don't do silly things like that, hm?" He pondered, looking between her light eyes in wonder.
She met his grey eyes with a similarly affectionate gaze. Lifting the cloth from his finger, she placed a lingering kiss on where the wound was now no more than a darkened prick. "I should be inclined to agree. I have no clue how you have lived so long without my wise council." She said seriously, then broke into laughter as he took her by the waist and slightly lifted her off the floor to move her in front of the vanity.
Thoughtlessly, Cregan began to tie her hair up into tight braids that would stay out of her face for the duration of the flight and fight that would be expected at Rook's Rest. "I can not say, either, Princess." He said lightly, a small smile brightening his stern features.
Daenys took a moment to clear her mind, a few deep breaths while she was able to sit idly in her cushioned seat. "I want you to come with me." She spoke.
Cregan met her eyes through the reflection. "You're sure?" He asked hopefully.
Daenys nodded firmly, confirming her final decision. Glancing at her own reflection a final time, she felt tension stiffen her body. Her armor was a pristine white, not yet touched by blood or scratched by weapons. Fire would not burn her armor, for it was made from Morningstar's own shedded dragonscales. She would not burn, either, though the thought of keeping her clothes untouched if she did encounter flames was comforting. Sword wouldn't easily breach the scales, nor would arrows, though she still had to be careful to protect her face and hands.
Daenys began fitting the white gloves on to her hands, grimacing at the reminder of Lucerys. Though the gloves were a quality white leather, the backs of them were protected by small groups of more dragonscales. Though, these ones belonged to Arrax. His first big shed had come when the boy and dragon were both nine namedays of age, and Luke's first thought had been to create fine gifts for his family.
Jacaerys received a white leather dagger sheathe with scales lining it. The same sheathe he always keeps at his belt opposite of his sword.
Rhaenyra received a charming satin choker with scales studding along it, though she only wears it on Luke's nameday celebrations in fear of ruining it.
Daenys received the gloves, which she wears mostly when out riding with her family. The palms were well-worn but still upkept regularly by her. Luke always seemed to gleam with pride whenever she dorned her hands with them, so she made a point to do that often even though she hated to see the gift get so worn. She supposed that was the price of love. It wouldn't be fair to not use them out of fear.
Cregan took her hand to guide her out of the chair and to her feet, which were covered by firm and quite uncomfortable boots.
"This suits you well, Princess." He murmured softly, admiring his bethrothed in the warm light shining through her windows. "Like Queen Visenya reborn."
"Visenya was a battle-worn diplomat, I'm afraid there's a lot to live up to in terms of my ancestors." She sighed, though not ill-naturedly. She saw more of herself in Queen Rhaenys, the gentle ruler who was seen as generous and kind by the people and had a love for the arts and spent more time with her dragon than even her siblings did.
He smiled knowingly, eyes slightly crinkling at the sides. "I haven't seen these before, either." He mentioned, running a finger over the protruding scales of her gloves.
"A gift, from Lucerys, a long time ago." She told him, squeezing her hand and hearing that satisfying 'crrk' of leather crushing together. A habit she often did to stimulate her mind and keep it on the texture and sound of the gloves rather than her quickly-moving thoughts.
"A fine gift."
They exited the room once deeming themselves ready, both armed and prepared to leave the castle though their stay had been so short.
She sighed, looking to the doors that now covered only empty rooms. Four, in a perfect line with plentiful space between. It was not long ago that all six children's rooms had been lived in and filled with ruckus. Daenys held her chamber rooms at the end, enjoying her space as the eldest who got to choose the rooms first. Luke had opted to stay in the chambers right next to hers, with Jace conceding to his brother's whims and taking the next in line. Little Joff, Viserys, and Aegon were now gone, leaving even more silence and stillness in the castle. She could hardly bear to look at the rooms, for they reminded her so much of what had been lost.
"I wish you could have met my youngest brothers before their departure. You would like them." Daenys smiled sadly, thinking of how Joffrey would immediately ask to see Ice up close and how Aegon and Viserys would hide behind her skirts until Cregan knelt to their level, showing them he was a friend, not foe.
"They will return soon," he comforted, placing a heavy hand on her shoulder. "This is but a temporary change. I'll meet them after we reclaim the Iron Throne for your mother." He promised.
Stiffly, she nodded. It was hard to believe that it was only herself and Jacaerys left. Even if it was only temporary, who knows how long this war would last? In the history books, some wars went years without any signs of peace. Would her brothers be grown before they came back? Would they even remember her? Remember Luke?
Turning away from the scene, Daenys and Cregan made their way to the dragonpit. There, Jacaerys and Baela were whispering together in hushed voices. They both donned similar armor to Daenys', though in the colors of their dragons and Houses alike. They looked a fine pair, already matching as if they'd been wed for years. Upon spotting the Princess and Lord approaching, Baela cleared her throat.
"Lord Stark, it is a pleasure to formally meet you. I'm glad to hear of your bethrothal to my cousin. I'm sure a fruitful partnership will be upon us soon." She smiled diplomatically, as if she had practiced the words in her head before saying them. Daenys stifled a laugh as her eyes met Baela's warm, dark purple eyes, the knowing look shared between them always making her cave into girlish whims.
The Lady was a stark contrast to her own bethrothed beside her, who scowled and pouted like a boy left out of a game to attend his studies. "Lord Cregan." He stiffly bowed his head in greeted and said no more.
"Lady Baela, it pleases me to meet any kin of Princess Daenys. I wish you a safe journey to you and a swift victory at Duskendale." Cregan said smoothly, dipping his head in respect to the woman.
Daenys reached Baela, pulling her in for a hug and whispering, "see you soon, sister. We will both bring back good news." Baela nodded her confident agreement, saying her 'goodbyes' to Jace before mounting her striped dragon and beginning her short flight.
Jacaerys seemed to flounder in the absence of his bethrothed, now able to speak more freely without any scolding looks from Baela (she and Daemon shared a fierce stern face that always shut Jace up swiftly, much to Daenys' amusement). "I was not expecting him to come along." He said, looking directly at Cregan but speaking past him.
"Of course he's coming, brother. I need a skilled swordsman at my side." She said lightly, approaching the perch just past him to scritch at Vermax's chin, who had climbed slightly up to meet the one who had not visited for quite some time. The yellow eyes of the dragon seemed to follow Cregan closely, a dangerous mirror of his rider.
"Am I not a skilled swordsman?" He asked, turning to face her with a hand resting on his sword's pommel.
You're a swordsman.
She refrained herself from quipping so meanly in front of Cregan, knowing Jacaerys would be embarrassing and offended rather than play along with her teasings as he usually did. "Of course you are." She soothed. "But who knows how many men will be stationed in the keep? I want to ensure there are no slip-ups or chances for a sneak attack."
Reluctantly, he backed down. With a brief touch to her arm, Jacaerys bid Daenys a safe flight. "Do not land until it is clear." He advised, earning an annoyed glare from his sister.
"I fear that I am now the more experienced fighter here, Jace." She said, raising a light brow. He rolled his dark eyes, stepping off the platform and situating himself on Vermax's dark red saddle. With a shout, the green dragon was out of sight past the mouth of the cave.
Cregan took a gloved hand in his, squeezing twice in a supporting reminder. "Best we don't let him get too far ahead. Or else the whole keep might just be burned down."
"Vermax and Jace have quite the fiery temperments." Daenys stated. "Morningstar, are you awake?" She called into the darkness.
Hearing a clicking response from the dragoness, Daenys felt her shoulders relax from the tension they had carried all night. The white dragon appeared from the depths, showing her bright violet gaze set straight on the two as she swaggered towards them. Glancing to her shoulders, Daenys gingerly reached out to glide a hand near the wound. It looked significantly better now that a balm had been applied and the wound properly cleaned. Instead of the angry red that it had been, the claw marks were now a dark pink color that mostly showed irritation rather than blood. The wounds were not as deep as she originally feared. "My brave girl. Are you ready to fly again?"
Morningstar trilled as if to wholeheartedly agree. Her wings fluttered as she met Daenys' hand with her large muzzle, a purr escaping her throat. "Let us go, then." She told Cregan, whose storm-grey eyes had never quite left her.
Together, they mounted the dragoness and left the cave with a joyful roar from Morningstar.
It was not long before they caught up with Vermax, who trilled when he saw his kin flying next to him. It had been many weeks since their last joint flight. Jace smiled warmly at his older sister, and they both almost forgot that their destination was to fight a battle in the war for their family's throne.
They crossed the sea within minutes, Daenys forcing herself to have a clear mind as they approached the stone walls. The once-green fields were now brown and charred, still filled with the hundreds of dead men who lost their lives, either fighting or to Meleys' and Morningstar's dragonfire. It was all too easy to be in the air and kill men by the multitudes, too easy to take lives. It didn't even quite feel like murder due to the disconnection provided by the catalyst that Morningstar was. That didn't make the swelling guilt disappear, however.
Morningstar swopped down from the cloudline quickly, taking the command Daenys shouted to her and not allowing the men in the fields to escape indoors. Her grip on the saddle's handlebars was tight and blistering, but she could not waver now. The men who were dragging their dead fellow soldiers had now joined them, black and unrecognizable. The unmistakable smell of burning human flesh had filled her senses, making her dizzy and unfocused once again. Cregan's deep voice filled her ears, placing a hand over hers on the handle to gather her attention. "You must stay focused, Daenys." He said as gently as he could over the raging roars and flames of the two dragons. She nodded quickly, forcing the bile down her throat. There was no room for weakness now.
It was over as quickly as it started, with Vermax and Morningstar circling the keep before landing in front of it.
Directly under the shade of the keep's entrance was Sunfyre. Worn and tired, the dragon still managed a ferocious and warning roar to scare his kin away.
It was not effective, though Daenys felt a pang of sympathy for the abandoned dragon. He was left behind while Aegon and Aemond went back to King's Landing, as if he were a mere guard dog posted to a station. Daenys dismounted, earning a concerned shout from Jacaerys atop of Vermax.
She slowly approached The Golden, allowing her hands to rest low and away from her body, the white scales glimmering in the sunlight the same way his did. He rose his neck high, though his wings were lifting up and down from the floor as if it hurt to put too much weight on them. She grimaced, knowing that was her own fault. The dragons suffered, too, in the battles they had fought, and they didn't even know why. Dragons didn't care for a throne or crown, but solely for their riders and kin.
"Daenys!" Jace shouted again, jumping from Vermax's saddle and following Cregan who had immediately trailed after Daenys. Cregan had stopped yards away, standing tensely and with calculating eyes but not trying to stop her. He had seen what she had done previously, and trusted her judgement. She would not approach a hostile dragon mindlessly.
"My Prince," he stopped Jacaerys with a firm hand to his chest, earning a furious glare from the Velayron.
She took a few steps closer, holding a hand out for Sunfyre for sniff. If she lost it, so be it. If he tried to burn her, no harm would be done. Daenys held back a flinch as he did just what she hoped, pressed his sharp snout into her palm.
A sudden vision filled her mind, painful like a sharp and drilling migraine. Aegon, unburnt or harmed, dressed in his finest drapes and wearing Aegon the Conquerer's grey crown. He held a goblet high in the air, surrounded by many peasent and knighted men and servant girls. "To my brother, who has slain the whore of Dragonstone's bastard son!"
Cheers erupted from all corners of the large and echoing hall. Goblets raised and wine and ale alike spilled all over men and tables. Aegon chugged down his bittersweet wine, presenting an empty goblet for the hall to see and a young maid to refill. "To Aemond! The true Blood of the Dragon!"
Next to 'The King' sat the very brother in question. Aemond Targaryen did not hold any glasses of wine or even a grin atop his sharp features. He simply leaned back into his chair, stiff as a flagpole and face blank and unreadable.
Daenys was drawn out as quickly as she was drawn in. What was that? A vision in broad daylight had never happened before. Could she see the past as well as the future? She could not dwell on it now, but upon her return home, such matters could be explored in the privacy and safety of her room.
Glancing up briefly, Daenys' sharp gaze caught sight of a man ducking behind the castle's wall on the tower's roof. Though they had not made their entrance discreet, Daenys had still hoped to catch a few more by surprise than she did. There was no way of knowing just how many soldiers lay in the safety of the keep.
Sunfyre almost whined at the touch, yearning for attention in the past few days. Daenys knew that Aegon rarely visited the dragonpit even when Sunfyre was readily available, too deep in his whores and cups. The poor thing was so deeply loyal, but so lonely despite his devotion. "There's a good boy, Sunfyre." She spoke softly in the same voice she used for her youngest brothers. He hung his head, allowing his exhaustion to finally show in the face of trust. Glancing back at the two men behind her, she sucked in a harsh breath to prepare herself for what was inside. "Go along, to Morningstar." She whispered to the dragon, watching him painfully carry himself towards the others. He submissively lowered his neck to Morningstar as the larger dragon sniffed cautiously at him, and after some time of reunion she allowed Sunfyre to lie at her side, curling up and finally letting himself rest. He'd been guarding Rook's Rest for days. Daenys would not consider herself too far off in assuming that he'd been given no food or water. What fool would approach a fire-breathing dragon, anyway?
Cregan smiled proudly, nodding to Daenys and striding towards her to meet her while Jace gaped at the sight and glanced between the dragons and his sister. "You made Sunfyre listen to you?" He asked, approaching them too.
"He's not an enemy." She vaguely said. "But, we could use him."
"Use Sunfyre? He would take no other rider? And...I doubt he'd fly again." Cregan said awkwardly, gesturing towards the torn wings.
"If we keep him on Dragonstone, Aegon cannot say he has three grown dragons any longer." Daenys said, lifting her chin. "The realm would not know how incompacitated he is—but they will know that Sunfyre turned sides against his own bonded rider. If that's not a sign from the 'Gods', what is?"
Jacaerys hummed thoughtfully, though he seemed to agree. "And what of Tessarion, the Blue Queen? And Jaehaera and Jaehaerys must have dragons—had dragons." He whispered after.
"The children's dragons are no older than seven, brother." Daenys said. Though, she was unclear on where Jaehaerys' dragon would be now that the boy was dead. Perhaps in the dragonpits still, forced to wait for a new Targaryen to bond with. Morghul and Glaeson, two black dragons with strong Valyrion names.
"And as for Daeron—" Daenys started, rolling her eyes at Jacaerys' sour look. "The boy is only ten years of age. What does that say about the Greens if they force him to war? Though, I would not be surprised given their desperation for dragons. I do hope the young ones do not have to grow up living in a time of war." She sighed, thinking of her youngest brothers, Jaehaera, and even Daeron, whom she had only known as the smallest of babes before he left to ward in Old Town.
Jace was stunned to silence for a few moments before laughing brightly. "When did you get so cunning?" He asked, looking to Cregan as if the man could answer his rhetorical question for her.
"It is a good plan, Princess." Cregan nodded, ignoring Jacaerys' look. "How do you plan on getting him across the sea?"
"Boat." She shrugged, "I will arrange for one to be sent from Dragonstone as soon as we reclaim the castle."
The Stark nodded his agreement with her idea, unsheathing Ice from his shoulder as Jace followed his actions, wielding Sea Tamer in his hands. "At your command, Princess." Cregan said. Jacaerys opened his mouth to make a remark at his sister's previous words about her experience, but shut it as he decided against any smart words.
"Sister," he nodded.
Daenys, only wielding her direwolf dagger in hand, slowly crept open the massive wooden doors. No one had stayed to guard the very front of the halls, knowing that a dragon could still reach its ire in the shallow depths. Instead of creeping through the halls like invaders attempting their luck at a sneak attack, the trio of three barged into the castle, rearing to fight. This was their claim, and they would not let it go again.
Jacaerys and Cregan led the way in front of Daenys with their swords in front of them, brows set and eyes sharp. A split in the hall came quickly, to the annoyance of them all. "It will take forever to flush them all out." Jacaerys commented.
"I need to find Kalla and Kallus. They will be held at knifepoint first to make us surrender." Daenys said seriously, glancing down each hall and mapping doors in her mind. One must lead to the kitchens and dining hall, and the other must lead to important chamber rooms and studies. Which would the Green men hold their hostages in?
Cregan looked down at her, seeing the wheels turning in her mind. "Which hall, Daenys?"
She stilled her heart and breath, closing her eyes to focus. Even as she focused, she could not summon the same visions as before. Trying not to let frustration well up in her, Daenys instead chose the most instinctive choice. "I should think the dining hall. Hard to be cornered with so many exits."
They toed down the hallway towards the open archway to the dining hall. It was a spacious room, good for balls or feasts or celebrations of the Lord's choosing. Instead of a grand feast being presented to them, the Velayrons and Stark were instead faced with the young Lord and Lady Saunton held by the necks. Three Green soliders held them still, long swords awkwardly at their throats and ready to move.
The young Kalla was nothing like her Lord Father, who was executed the day Daenys fought over his castle. In her early 20's, with bright red hair and deep blue eyes, the Lady clearly trembled in the hold of the older soldier's arms but held a steely and defiant look in her eyes.
Her younger brother, no older than six or seven, could not hold back his whimpers of fear. With black hair like his father, Kallus was next in line to be Lord, though that would not happen for many years. Or, if he died today. The siblings looked scruffed up and dirtied by the events that held them trapped in their own home. Hair messy and face smeared with blood from the soldier's hands and dirt from the floor, eyes red and puffy from their loss, and worried lines of stress on their foreheads. Daenys did not know if they would recover emotionally from this—even after years of peace.
"Surrender now and put down your weapons!" A scrawny young soldier yelled at them. "Or we'll kill them."
"If a single hair on their heads is out of place, we have two dragons standing outside on the ready to sear you to ash." Jacaerys bit sharply, unyielding.
"Three." Daenys added, glancing around the room between Cregan and Jacaerys. There was a single door behind the soldiers, possibly leading to the kitchens. Another much larger door stood parallel to all of them, the barricaded exit to the courtyard of Rook's Rest's castle. The sunlight poured in warmly from the windows in the room, leaving the room in a golden glow. If she moved the wooden panels holding the door, perhaps Vermax could fit through the opening and finish the job for them. Though, it would put the bystanders at too much of a risk.
"Yes, I saw that." The older soldier who held Kalla sniffed harshly. "The Witch of Dragonstone has enchanted the King's own dragon. Dragons can't help you in here." He sneered.
"And what will you do when we are all surrendered?" Cregan spoke up. "Take us out of the castle to the capitol? The dragons can wait for years. This Keep's food supply can not."
The two soldiers shared knowing glances. They were not stupid. They knew they had little options in Rook's Rest now that they were surrounded by dragons indoors and outside.
The younger man shouted something that Daenys did not quite catch in her surprise. Following his command, a few more soldiers flooded into the room from the archway that they entered from. Daenys shared a glance with Cregan, cursing herself for not deciding to clear the halls before going for Kalla and Kallus. She had figured to grab the hostages and rush outside to draw them out with promise of mercy, but now that idea was drifting further from the forefront of her mind. She shuffled closer to her bethrothed, clutching the dagger tight by her side.
Four behind, two in front. The numbers were not too far against them, she supposed, considering Cregan and Jacaerys' experience and skill most likely outdid that of these greener hedge knights. Jace may not have real battle experience like Cregan did against wildlings, but he did gain his knowledge of fighting during his time as a squire for Ser Steffon Darklyn. Daenys was quite unsure of her own capabilities in a fight against swords, seeing as she had none of her own and never cared to learn the art.
This had to be all of them. Daenys hoped that thought ran through her companion's minds, too. The rest were dead and burned out in the black fields.
"Would the dragons be so willing to burn us if we had their riders in hand?" The elder scowled again. The younger straightened up, nodding proudly like he had won.
"Want to find out?" Daenys asked, looking him straight in the eye unflinching.
This seemed to give them pause, hesitant glances between the men. One spoke up from behind, clearly itching to fight. "Just kill the little bastards and get it over with. There's no use in keeping them alive, Oskar."
This seemed to have been a recurring argument amongst the stationed soldiers. "What did Cole say, remind me of it, Bennard?" The eldest asked, exasperated at the eager soldier's impaitience.
"What does it matter what that Dornishman said? The king is dead, and we have this castle all to ourselves!"
"The King is not dead, you treasonous fool!" The younger yelled back to him, shifting and loosening his hold on Kallus.
Noting the loose grip, Daenys glanced briefly towards the boy before taking a chance to look over her shoulder. None of the soldiers had prepared for this raid, apparently. All still in regular tunics and breeches, no armor was dorned at all.
"The Usurper is not dead." Daenys said, though she was still unsure of that herself. "But he did abandon your little troupe here, did he not? To gain no glory in battle or seize any land. Old and sick dogs protecting a worn and empty home." She shared an amused glance with Jacaerys for show.
"I'd imagine no one would bother to reclaim Rook's Rest a second time, given all the trouble it took to get it in the first place." Jace added. "Criston Cole wouldn't bother giving this place a second glance."
Oskar and the younger shared a look of grievance. They shared those thoughts before, too.
"They would not know if you died for this place or simply abandoned it." She concluded, gentler this time. "We will allow you to live the rest of your traitorous lives in peace, for the return of Lord Staunton's children. Or, you can share the fate of those men outside. I'm sure you heard what their end sounded like." A grim sentiment, but necessary.
Cregan eyed her from her side, though he did not speak. Wielding Ice at waist level, towering above all the men in the room, the Northerner almost made the Southern-blooded men seem dwarved. He was not here to negotiate, but carry out his Princess and Prince's command. Daenys proudly noted the glances they had all been warily giving Cregan since he walked into the hall.
Oskar, standing straight and boring dark eyes down at Daenys, spoke up first. "It would be treason." He said darkly.
"Treason to your pretender?" She snarked. "They are much too busy holing up in their Holdfast to chase after and execute every man who deserted their cause."
"I think we should take the chance while we've got it, Oskar." The younger whispered, not very quietly. His gaze grew worried as he shifted on his feet. "I want to go home. It's been moons. Me mum must be thinking I'm dead by now."
Daenys felt pity for the group. Especially the youngest, who had his whole life left to live. The elder, who might be around Daemon's age, must have a wife and children back at his home, wherever that might be.
With a sigh, Oskar nodded. Preparing to speak a truce, but was interrupted by a frustrated yell from behind. "I'm sick of this talk! The Witch will not cast any more spells on you soft lot!" A man from behind shouted, charging immediately for Daenys. She could only turn on her heel in time to catch his arm, bringing them both down to the floor in a tumble. Though she saw Cregan and Jace swiftly move to defend her, the other men that once flanked him moved in to attack them, too.
Wearing a distasteful yellow that could only be the house colors of the Baratheons, the older man grunted as he struggled to pin Daenys to the stone floor and grab the sword that fell from his grip at the same time. With her steel dagger in hand, she writhed to get the arm out from under his heavy form.
Gasping at the wind being taken from her chest at the sudden fall and weight, it was not an easy task. "Bastard witch..." he grunted out, finally grasping his sword by the sharp sides. Uncaring that it cut through the thin skin of his fingers, he pulled it closer and sat up, finally allowing her to breathe and clutch her dagger to her bossum. Both of them heaved with effort, but the wild look in his eyes frightened her to no end. The look reminded her of Seamus, who sought revenge through the wrong person. "You and your whore mother will never lead the realm, lest it be brought to ruin." He snarled out, spit wetting his thin lips. The sounds of steel clashing rung like bells around the room, impossible to keep track of as movement and shouts sounded from all sides.
As he raised the sword over his head, the yellow-dressed soldier was bumped to the ground, groaning at the impact. On his side, the companion soldier who brought him down in the first place lie died and unmoving, like he had been thrown. Daenys did not waste time to allow him to think, twisting to her front to sit on her knees as if in prayer. With a swift movement, Daenys jabbed the dagger downwards into the side of Bennard's neck. As she tore it out just as fast, hot blood shot out immediately in response to the wound, even while the man was gasping and grabbing at his neck, covering the empty slit. Blood pooled around him as he eventually gave in to the Stranger, life leaving his fury-filled eyes.
Daenys wildly sprung to her feet, taking ragged steps back from the two corpses. She tripped backward over a third, though was caught by the waist and forearm by Cregan. Panting, she clutched at his arms with bloody hands. "Cregan?" She asked, disbelieving the situation. Yes, she had entered Rook's Rest knowing she'd most likely have to kill a man, but physically doing it was a whole different feeling. Seamus burned on top of her for what felt like days, and hundreds were felled to her Dragon's blue fire weeks later. But she had never dug her steel into a breathing man's skin, never watched the light leave his eyes of the last breath leave his lungs.
"I'm here." He said steadily, showing no signs of panic or change like she did. Behind Cregan's broad shoulders, she could see Jacaerys push the final man from his sword's shaft by kicking him off of it. Turning to face the remaining two men, who had stayed with the fallen Lord's children, Daenys saw the hopelessness in both of their eyes. She righted herself quickly, nodding her thanks to Cregan before stepping over the other bodies. In front of the four remaining people, Daenys saw a comforted knowledge in both Kallus and Kalla, knowing that they were safe now as they were released from the holds.
Oskar and the younger held their hands up in surrender. "I did not wish for that to happen, Princess." He swore solemnly. "Please, spare us still. We swear to leave Rook's Rest and return home, we will never speak of this to anyone."
Daenys glanced at Jace, who had a hardened look in his eyes. He, too, had killed his first man by his own hands. Her younger brother, who she had wished to keep his innocence for as long as possible, was a boy no longer. She swallowed harshly. "Let this be a lesson of mercy from Queen Rhaenyra." Were her final words to the two, who gratefully bowed and scurried out from the room.
Free now, the two siblings released heavy sobs from deep in their chests and hugged each other tightly. Daenys smiled faintly at the sight, relieved to see both unharmed. Kalla looked up from her kneeling position, tearfully grinning. "Thank you, Princess." She said through her sobs. Kallus shook in her hold, the built-up tension from the past days finally showing itself. He could be a boy again, not a hostage doomed for death.
Daenys approached carefully, kneeling to each of their levels. "Are you two unharmed?" She asked, glancing over them.
Kalla took a moment to hold Kallus back at an arms' length while she inspected him. With a courageous sniffle, the boy nodded and mumbled something Daenys could not hear.
"We are fine." Kalla said, weakly smiling as she stood straight and brushed off her dirty skirts. "May we...freshen ourselves up? We have not been able to since our father was taken."
"Taken?" Daenys sniffed.
Kalla nodded discreetly towards Kallus, who busied himself in looking entranced by Daenys' dragonscale armor. Daenys made an 'o' shape with her mouth, forgetting the implication that the two had not personally seen the execution of their father. "Yes. Go on, we will wait for you." Daenys said. She was glad that at least they were not forced to witness the murder, but instead, Cole allowed the young boy to keep his innocence and believe his father was simply taken away.
Perhaps the one favor he did the realm.
Turning to Jace and Cregan, after the brother and sister left to their chamber rooms, she sighed. "Are you two okay?" She asked, quieter now. The room was filled with empty silence now that everyone else had either died or left. The bodies at their feet were still and growing cold, though would soon start to stink if they did not get removed. Daenys wanted no part in that process.
"Are you?" Cregan asked instead, stepping forward to hold her hand in his. His grey eyes held a slight apprehension from the way he had been unable to fully protect her—again. Daenys could not and would not fault him, for two men had attacked him. Behind, Jace shuffled uncomfortably. He had been deathly still, too, a pale look on his face.
"I'm fine, just got winded." She said shortly, nodding affirmingly. Looking to Jace, she asked again. "Do you want to step out?"
Nodding quickly and covering his mouth, Jacaerys quietly excused himself from the room to rush out the way that they had come. Daenys knew the feeling. Even now, it was hard not to spill her guts after the heavy guilt pressed on her conscience.
"I should go check on him." She offered, looking up through her lashes to Cregan, who had been staring at her the entire time. "If you can—"
"I will take care of them." He hummed, gesturing towards the door. "Go see if your brother is well."
"Thank you." She said gratefully, squeezing his hand before making her way after her brother.
Outside, barely having made it to the grass instead of the cobble, Jacaerys was hunched over and heaving. Daenys sympathized greatly, slowly rubbing her hand up and down his back in the same way their mother had often done for them. "Let it all out, Jace." She said.
"I'm not a child." He said, defensively as he stood to full height.
"I know that." She whispered, squinting against the sunlight. "But you just killed a man—no one is prepared for that."
"Lord Stark was." He scoffed, wiping at his mouth and groaning in disgust but not shoving away her comforting hand.
"Cregan has experienced battle more than we have. He fights against the Wildlings in the North—he's no stranger to death."
He groaned again, this time not so much in disgust as it was simply petulance. Daenys bit her cheek, keeping herself from smiling at the childish behavior. "He's just perfect at everything, isn't he?"
"He's three years your elder, Jace." She reminded him. "And had to be Warden of the entire North at only eight and ten. Of course he's more experienced."
"I am a Prince." Jacaerys said, defeated.
"You are." She responded, questioning his sudden statement.
"I should be like that—not throwing up my breakfast at the first sight of blood. What kind of Prince can't defend his people?" He asked, slumping down against the wall.
She sat with him. "You are young, Jace. No one expects you to be perfect right away. We've only just now been thrust into a war when there's been none since before our grandsire's time."
"They do expect it." He mumbled, looking to the three dragons in the field. "Mother has set our expectations quite high."
"She's not so perfect." Daenys said. Once, only a few weeks ago, she would have agreed. That Rhaenyra was a being of perfect grace and poise, not to be touched by the bad of the world. Now, she wasn't so inclined. Rhaenyra was her mother, and she loved her dearly, but she was still a liar. Daenys had once dreaded to leave Dragonstone, but these days, she felt more eager to move on to her martial home with Cregan and be free of the people who allowed her to feel insane. Being able to come and go as she pleased to visit seemed like a distant dream.
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Jacaerys whipped his head to her, dark brows knitted together as he huffed a short laugh. "You always say that, Dae. That mother is near perfect." His words were confused, almost disbelieving.
Daenys pursed her lips, nodding. Should she tell him the truth? If she allowed him to believe Laenor was still dead, she was no better than the three of them. But the cluelessness brought him peace. He was able to mourn their father in a healthy way over time, in every way she could not. He did not blame himself like she did. "I don't think anyone is." She said finally. Now was not the correct time, anyway, when he was so lost in his conflicted mind too.
Laenor, Rhaenyra, Ser Harwin. Those who she idolized for years. She felt a deep betrayal when the two men who raised her left—a hole not able to be filled. Rhaenyra was not perfect, though her children all thought her to be. Their eyes were bright and hoping, and of course, their mother was the guiding beacon that brought the light. Adults don't share the same sentiments as their child selves did. It was inevitable to change. Daenys was at least grateful to be able to trust her mind again. Though, she was unsure if it was due to her own independent growth in the North or because of her mother sharing the truth.
She hoped it was because of herself. Just one thing, attributed to her.
Jacaerys eyed her a moment longer before giving in and nodding. Clearly, he could tell there was more to it but would not pry. Perhaps he suspected Daenys was resentful for Rhaenyra discreetly suggesting to offer herself for the Northmen. "Well..." He started, standing and offering her a hand.
"Let's check on the children." Daenys finished, standing too with his aid.
He snorted, leading the way inside. "The girl is older than you."
She narrowed her eyes playfully, shaking her head. "I am taller."
"Does that make me your elder?"
"Never."
They shared a warm and amused smile.
In the dining hall, the bodies were gone. The board covering the courtyard exit was removed, too, and the doors were wide open. The fresh air was pleasant to feel in the stuffy room. At the table, Cregan sat in front of an unmannered sibling duo. The two were working on their simple plates of food, scarfing it all down like rabid animals. She couldn't blame them, the poor things were likely starved.
They met eyes quickly, Cregan standing to guide her to a seat at the bench next to him. Jace rolled his eyes again at the effort, grossed out by the affection. He slumped down next to Daenys, folding his hands in front of them and sipping at a wine poured in front of him. The staff were floundering about, looking in good spirits. She guessed they were used as personal servents to the soldiers—none of the hedge knights having been used to such grand luxury. Daenys briefly thanked the young man pouring her wine, but gently refused an offer for bread or stew.
"Lady Kalla. Is the Maester still around?" She asked tentatively, politely sipping at her wine instead of staring at the young lady.
She nodded, swallowing a chunk of rabbit. "Yes, your highness. He is still here, only confined to his rooms."
"Still? Has he not been let out?" Jacaerys asked.
Kalla smiled girlishly, bashful at the handsome princes' attention on her. "No, he simply always stays in there. Bad knees." She giggled softly, to ease the slight tension.
They nodded in turn. "So there are still ravens in the tower then, yes?" She asked.
Kalla hesitated before slowly nodding. "There should be. I think the soldiers used them to communicate with the King."
Daenys raised a brow, nonverbally waiting for her to correct herself.
She blushed again, apologizing quickly. "My mistake, Princess. They said 'My King' so many times that the words have ingrained themselves. To the Pretender." She fixed. "If you wish, I could send a raven to wherever you wish."
"Thank you, Lady Kalla." She smiled. "I can do that myself. Though, you should get to Lord Staunton's solar and begin familiarizing yourself."
She straightened, looking confused. "Familiarize?"
"You are the head of House Staunton, now. You will be expected to host any Black forces on your land as well as our naval forces. I hope this is not too overwhelming, but there really is not other choice."
"But—Kallus is the heir." She said in a hushed tone.
Glancing at Kallus, the young boy now done with his food and swishing the sauce in the bowl back and forth with his fork, and tensely sighed. "He may be the heir when Lord Staunton was here, but it will be over a decade before he is ready for the role. You must lead, as Lady." She said firmly. "The Queen will make the change in leadership official."
Lady Kalla froze, uneasily fiddling with her sleeve. "I have not been prepared for this."
Neither was the Queen herself. The men of the realm never seem to prepare their daughters for the world, even when they are grown and alone.
"I know." Daenys said, reaching for her hand. "But you must. For your father. And him." She nodded towards Kallus, who curiously met her eyes. Kalla looked down at her brother before turning back to Daenys, firmly nodded.
"I will try, Princess." She spoke.
"That is all I ask." Daenys said, standing from her seat. "I will begin my letter to The Queen. Jace?" She asked, gesturing for him to follow.
He did, hot on her heels as they went down a winding hall to an old hallway that led to the raven tower. In it, the birds squaked endlessly at the intrusion. "What is it?" Jacaerys asked, leaning on the table that Daenys sat herself at.
"Will you join me on the boat back to Dragonstone?" She asked.
He tensed, folding his arms over each other. "I was hoping to fly out to the Twins, while mother allows me to be out. I will not have another chance under her guard."
"I know." Daenys said, scribbling away. "I think you should—the Twins are vital for Cregan's men to travel to the Riverlands."
Jacaerys nodded severely. "What if they ask for a dragon?" He pondered. "Lady Jeyne already has, no doubt other houses bending their knees to us will get greedy."
"We cannot spare the adults." Daenys said flatly. "The babes were a means to placate Jeyne's worries. The Freys are too far North to need such protection, I think."
"Not too far for Vhagar." Jace reminded her.
"She will not be willing to fly so far. She's old, and injured. Her balance will be horrible, only good for short and predictable flights. Tell them that." She nodded to herself, mumbling the words she wrote out slightly to focus.
"Right." He trailed, taking the words in. Leaning over her shoulder, he read the words aloud to affirm.
"Dear Queen Rhaenyra, Rook's Rest has been reclaimed. Lady Kalla and young Kallus are alive and well, and I have named Kalla Lady of House Staunton. Please send a spacious barge to to docks here, with a small crew of trusted men. Perhaps Lord Corlys could make the journey personally, and I believe that Eveningstar would be well-suited for the trip. She has not seen open waters since father last sailed out.
Sunfyre will be making the journey on this ship. Do not send any men who are easily panicked. The dragon is injured, but I believe keeping him on Dragonstone's fields is a good defense and show of our strength. Well wishes, Daenys Velayron."
He sat back, humming in thought. "You really think Sunfyre will take a boat back to Dragonstone?"
"It is a short trip." She shrugged. "If I can make him obey out there, I can convince him to get on a boat."
Jacaerys smiled nostalgically. "I don't understand how you did that. Even Vermax wouldn't heed your command, and he adores you."
Daenys looked out the window, past the sleek black head of a raven. "I couldn't say, brother. But I do know that it is my fault that he will never fly again, so it's my responsibility to take care of him now."
Jacaerys nodded. Looking out at the three dragons cuddled up together (though Vermax was on Morningstar's flank opposite of Sunfyre, eyeing the golden one mistrustfully), he held his hand heavily on his pommel. "I will leave now. With luck, I think I'll make it back home before you do."
"Not luck, Jace." She chuckled. "Mother will tear open a new one for you—and I won't be there to mediate."
He paled, groaning in realization. "I'll take the boat back with you, then."
"Too late." She stood, rolling up the scroll and sending it off with no wax stamped onto it. "You should go before those old Freys take their afternoon nap."
Jacaerys scoffed, kissing his sister's temple 'goodbye' before leaving the room with a swish of his half-cape.
Daenys looked out of the empty windowsil, watching Jace mount the emerald dragon before leaving as fast as he came. They had been lucky today, perhaps too lucky for her ease of mind. Something was surelt brewing on the horizon. Shaking the thought from her mind, she found Cregan at the bottom of the steps.
"Daenys." He greeted with a soft smile. "Lady Kalla and her brother have retreated to their rooms."
"Good." She rolled her shoulder slightly, wishing to get out of this dusty place and stretch her legs. "Would you join me?"
"Anywhere, Princess."
"I wish to hunt for Sunfyre. He's probably starved after all these days out here."
Cregan nodded, taking her hand into the crook of his arms. "Like old times, then."
She laughed, "that was hardly in the past. I expect it will become tradition for us in Winterfell."
His eyes lit up at the thought. "You wish to continue camping around the wilderness, even after your residence in Winterfell?"
"A dragon gets restless easily."
It was his turn to laugh lightly. "Indeed, she does."
The Jacegon onesided beef continues (like Aegon and Daenys)
Thinking of dragon parentage again-how Morningstar is Silverwing's egg for sure but unsure about the father and if there even is one for dragons. But continuing off that—Sunfyre. He is theoried to be either Dreamfyre's or Silverwing's egg, with Vermithor as a possible sire. I for one think his show face shape is kind of similar to Silverwing's show face shape.
Morningstar and Sunfyre from the same clutch? Though hatching in different years as some eggs do. They both have tremendous and unique bonds with their riders, and are around the same age.
aging Daeron down because i dont know his full lore and have no interest in adding him to the Dance at all. Technically he does have Tessarion still but she's about the size of Tyraxes.
wanted to name a sword and Sea Tamer just sounded badass so
Aemond sending children and their dragons off to war core. Those memes always send me, he'd do it too if he could
#dragondreamer#cregan stark x reader#cregan x reader#hotd fanfic#cregan stark#cregan stark x oc#hotd#hotd season two#house of the dragon#stark#hotd fanfiction#cregan fanfiction#fanfiction
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Love That Burns ~ 30
LOVE THAT BURNS MASTERLIST
< previous chapter
Word Count: 1,855ish
Summary: You and Logan still struggle with your relationship. The two of you make a decision to help ease the struggles.
Warnings: Emotional, Angst, Injuries
Notes: crossing my fingers that you guys will be okay with this chapter...
Reminder: I DO NOT do taglists. Please don’t ask. Please follow and interact! I appreciate any reblogs, likes, comments, and asks!
“So, how are you and Logan doing?” Ororo asked one morning at breakfast.
“Fine,” you responded with a shrug. “We have a lot of work to do, but we’re working through it.”
“He does seem a little more on edge around the kids, as do you.”
You sighed. “I’ve actually been thinking… I think Logan and I should go away for a while.”
“Wait, you two want to leave?”
“I haven’t brought it up to Logan yet, and it wouldn’t be forever… we just need a space where we can focus on just the two of us. We’re constantly thrown every which way with classes, missions, and world-ending scenarios. Logan and I need to simply be us for a while and figure out what that means.”
“I… do whatever you have to do.” Ororo stood up. “I’ve got a class to teach.”
“Ororo, please stay and talk.”
But she slipped out of the room. You sighed, hiding your head in your hands. That was the position Logan found you in. He quietly came up behind you and rested your hands on your shoulders. He leaned down and kissed the back of your neck.
“What’s wrong?” He whispered against your neck.
You leaned back into him, looking up at him. “I made Ororo upset.”
“What did you do?” You sighed, looking back down. “Hey.” He sat down beside you. “I thought we were doing better with the talking shit.” He hooked a finger under your chin and guided your face to look at him. “Tell me.”
“I told Ororo about something I was going to talk to you about.”
“And that was…?”
“About leaving.”
“Leaving?”
“I was thinking that we need some time to ourselves. To figure things out and just be us.”
“But this is your home. Would you really be okay leaving it?”
“Logan, you’re my home. And you were long before this was.”
Logan studied your gaze and could see that you were telling the truth, but he worried that after a while, he wouldn’t be enough. You at least had people here, other mutants, to lean on when the two of you were struggling. If it’s just you and him? Then you’d have no one. Logan was okay with that for himself but not for you.
“I thought that we’ve been doing well here,” Logan said, trying to see if he could get you to change your mind.
His words took you back. “You want to stay? You’re constantly trying to run.”
“I just want you to really think about it, sweetheart. I don’t want you to leave and then regret it.”
“You think that I’d regret being with you?”
“That’s not what I said—“
You pulled away, standing up. “But it’s what you meant, right?”
“Don’t put words in my mouth.” He stood up as well, growing angry.
“Do you not want this long-term, Logan? Am I just your person until a new, better one comes along?”
“Hey! That’s not fair!”
“Morning! Oh—“ Bobby stopped in the doorway. “I can see that this is not a good time, so I—“
“No, Bobby, we’re done here,” you told him, rushing off.
“Y/N!” Logan yelled after you, hurrying to follow you. He followed you into the gardens. “Now, who’s running?!”
“Oh, please,” you spun around. “You’ve wanted to run since the moment you got here!”
“Yes, but I stayed for you!”
“Oh, I feel so honored.”
“You know what, maybe I should go. Since it’s clear that I’m unable to hit the high expectations you have set for me.”
“You are the reason for those high expectations.”
“Ugh! I’m not that person anymore! And I’m sick and tired of feeling like shit all the time about that!”
Logan’s hand flew out as he was talking, his claws accidentally unsheathing. Before either of you knew it, the claws were cutting against your cheek. You gasped, stumbling back as your hand came up to hold your cheek.
“Oh my God,” he sputtered. He hid his claws before reaching for you. “Sweetheart—“ You stepped back, breaking both of your hearts. Logan’s fingers were tingling. If you didn’t let him try to fix this—if you didn’t let him touch you, Logan would never trust himself to touch someone again. “Please let me—“
“No,” you shook your head, tears falling down your cheeks. “Just… leave me alone.”
You rushed off back into the mansion. You knew that Logan didn’t mean to hurt you, but you needed time and space.
Logan was frozen in his spot. The high emotions had gotten the best of both of you, but especially his claws. He had hurt you, and he was fully conscious for it. This was different than him having a nightmare. This was much worse.
~~~
You had sat in front of the mirror, watching the three cuts along your cheek heal into scars. Tears streamed down your face the entire time while you thought of Logan. Both of you were in the wrong here, and this was a complete accident. You were thinking about what to say to Logan when you started to hear drawers slamming in Logan’s room. Rushing out of your room, you looked into his room to see him stuffing his clothes into a bag.
“What are you doing?” You whispered.
Logan spun to face you. Slowly, his hand reached out to brush against the scars on your cheek, but he didn’t let his hand actually make contact.
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” his voice was completely broken, tears lining his eyes. “I never wanted to be the one to hurt you… yet I keep doing it.” He shook his head and got back to packing. “I have to go.”
“What?”
“I can’t keep hurting you. I can’t be the person you need… The person I was before…”
“And this will make it better? I’ve messed up in this relationship, too. This is not just on you. I’m sorry for making it seem like I’m forcing you to be that person again. I know that you’ve changed, so I have, and that’s okay. I still love you.”
“You shouldn’t.”
“Stop that.” You slipped in between him and the dresser. He kept his head down, not willing to make eye contact. “Fine. Tell me you don't love me, and I’ll let you walk away. But you have to look me in the eye and be honest with me.”
You nibbled your bottom lip as you waited for Logan to make the next move. You could tell that there was a war waging in his mind. His eyes suddenly snapped to yours.
“I… I can’t do that,” he murmured. “I love you.”
You quickly pulled him by his shirt to kiss him. He dropped his bag and slid his hands to the small of your back.
“If you really want to leave,” you whispered against his lips, “then you have to take me with you.”
“Okay,” he replied.
~~~
“It’s not forever,” you said as you hugged Ororo. “We’ll stay in contact and visit. Logan and I just need to figure things out.”
“I’ll miss you,” Ororo responded, pulling back. “I’ll miss the both of you.”
“You ready?” Logan asked, coming up from the truck he had just packed.
He had already said goodbye to Marie and Bobby before packing the truck, knowing that you would need some time with Ororo.
“I think so,” you responded. “See you later, Ororo.”
“See you,” she replied.
You took Logan’s hand, and he led you to the truck. He opened the door and helped you in before going around to the driver’s seat. You turned back and watched as the mansion grew smaller and smaller in the distance. Logan placed a hand on your knee, giving it a slight squeeze.
“Are you okay?” He asked, clearly concerned. “We can turn back around.”
You laced your fingers through his and scooted closer to Logan, very thankful for the bench seat. “I’m okay,” you told him. You kissed his shoulder. “Where are we headed?”
“I have a place in mind.”
“Care to tell?”
“Not yet. Why don’t you get some rest?”
“You sure?”
He leaned over and kissed your head. “I’m sure.”
You hummed in content as you rested your head on his shoulder and let yourself relax. Logan’s lifted up in a barely-there smile as you tried your best to cuddle into him.
~~~
You didn’t bother to ask Logan where the two of you were headed again. You kept yourself occupied with books and naps when you weren’t talking to Logan. It was already proving to be worth it, as the farther the two of you drove from the mansion, the less tension there was. Logan insisted on driving the whole way, and so far you’ve had to beg him to stop to sleep in motels for the three nights you’ve been on the road so far.
It didn’t shock you when the two of you crossed over into Canada. You figured that Logan would always feel a call back there. The shock factor was later as the two of you drove up an old, familiar road in the Canadian Rockies.
“Logan, where—“
“Just patience, okay?” He cut you off. “I’ll explain soon.”
You simply nodded, focusing on the trees you were passing out the window. Your heart started pounding the closer you got to the top. Before you knew it, the small house appeared and Logan was pulling up to it. It looked just how you remembered it. You were too busy staring that you didn’t realize Logan had gotten out of the truck and walked around to your side. He opened the door and took your hand.
“Come on,” he urged, tugging you out of the truck. “Let’s go inside.”
“Inside?” You repeated. “It’s probably a disaster. We—“ Your eyes widened as Logan pulled you inside. The place was clean, updated, and furnished. “What? How?”
“Charles. We had a conversation about when Jean died, and I got part of my memories back. He knew that we would need a place to start over and found where we used to live. Before I could stop it, he had people here fixing it up.”
You let go of his hand and began slowly walking around the house. Your hands gently trailed against the walls and updated pieces of furniture.
“You and Charles…” you breathed out. “You did all this?”
“Is it okay?” Logan was clearly nervous. “We can go somewhere else. I just know that this was the—“ You shut him up with a kiss.
“This is perfect. Thank you. But know that I don't expect you to be the same person as before. Time has changed both of us… are you okay with being here?”
“Yes. I even already got a job as a lumberjack.”
“Oh, got the old job back?”
Logan chuckled. “Somethin’ like that. I start in a week.”
“So I have a week of you all to myself?”
“A whole week.” He pulled you closer, pressing a kiss to your lips.
“Can we try out the new bed?”
A devious smirk formed over Logan’s lips. “I thought you’d never ask.”
#james logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett imagine#logan x reader#logan howlett#james logan howlett#logan howlet x reader#logan howlett x y/n#logan howlett x female!reader#logan howlett x you#logan howlett x mutant reader#logan howlett x f!reader#logan howlett x fem!reader#wolverine fanfiction#the wolverine#wolverine#wolverine x reader#x men x reader#marvel fanfic#marvel fanfiction#marvel x reader
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IDK MAN IM A SUCKER FOR SPLIT IMAGES....
anyway so for Light Fingers we needed to either appease a giant snake who lives in the dream realm's sky (long story), or ally with the cats to overcome said snake amalgam. Peter and Sam chose differently here, meaning Peter was granted the honour of being legally a cat, and Samuel got to, uH.... sHED HIS SKIN AS PENITENCE?????
(Peter is @little-red-notebook's guy, Sam is mine!)
bonus drawing/thoughts under the cut:
HE HAD TO USE A KNIFE AND TOOK SEVERAL WOUNDS, WHICH TRADITIONALLY IS NOT HOW SHEDDING WORKS, but by some snakey machinations there was new skin underneath, with the slightest sheen..........
supposedly it's so subtle that nobody would notice it, so obviously that means I immediately have to add faintly visible scales to every drawing I make of Samuel forever. I like to imagine it doesn't really show in the general gloom of the neath, but under more direct light or in the Parabolan sun, Sam's allegiances are a little more obvious....
The timing on this choice was fun, because just a few days before, Peter had shared with Samuel that he and his ACTUAL boyfriend had become engaged, they were just keeping it a secret so as not to make Peter's real fiancé a target for Poor Edward. So, while Sam did not know exactly what he was getting into when he chose to apologise to the giant sky snake, he still knows the reputation of the fingerkings, he knows bargains with them are risky, and he knows Poor Edward just announced his own skin-shedding bargain and following in his footsteps seems tremendously unwise........ but he was very much operating on the idea that PETER had a future that he needed to be okay for, so Sam needed to be the one to take the choices that would likely have Consequences.
#fallen london#fl: the bloodstained deacon#light fingers#light fingers spoilers#ambition: light fingers#fallen london oc#fanart#flondon#shazz art#THIS AMBITION REALLY IS THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING#also your own shed skin is an item#you can wear it#just normal things in the light fingers ambition
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Well, if the beginning of the story and journey are angst, I must sorry in advance to you all whoever reading this.
.
.
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In the beginning, about 20s years+++ ago, my two best friends forever and my younger brother took me to the Middle-Earth.
We all had excellent time together when talking about LotR, both books and films. I had to borrow translated version of LotR books from local library, because they were sold out quickly - though the publishers published them out every month. Eventually, I've got mine with The Hobbit, that time The Hobbit was about to become major motion pictures.
Even there was no Tumblr back then; only communities on webboards and fansites, but I was contentment and enjoy fan-theories on Tolkien Legendariam so much, plus fan fictions and fanarts.
Then, I had been on an anime webboard from 2010-2014, I met many good friends there and they also share their love on Tolkien Legendariam too.
That was good, because I met them regularly in people, hanging out together. But one day, one of them - somebody I used to call good friend - got qaurrelling with me and without reasons, also she is the big fan of Tolkien amongst this small group. I won't describe in details here: just conclusion that she made me despited her and even Tolkien; everytime I saw LotR and any Tolkien Legendariam, I thought of that b*tch and what she had done to me, and I would be in blue for days.
When LotR films got their own 20 years anniversary celebration, altogether with Rings of Power on Amazon Prime appear on my dash, my feed, and my best friend - who weds to English man, accidentally met Robert Aramayo at Cafe and went back home watching Rings of Power abruptly with her husband - she recalls I love Middle-Earth and Tolkien Legendariam so dearly. She talked to me and encouraged me to go back to the things that I love so much.
At first, as I watched TROP first episode, I was forgetting about almost everything about Valinor, Finrod, Primal race before Hobbits, Sindarin and every The Silmarillion's easter egg. I cried. Both with regret and joy.
I finally told my mum and my best friend forever (who is the first that took me to Middle-Earth), that I had abandoned all Tolkien stuffs because of what I've stated at the previous paragraphs before. So, I pick up all my long lost forgotten (but now they're on top of my bookshelf again) books again, and re-reading it with heart full of joy and happiness like the first time. And then, when I could recall everything, I watched TROP again with my wholehearted and without biases, the result is I LOVE THIS ADAPTATION ARDENTLY.
TROP leads me to numerous new horizons of many fan-theories' aspects, and what I had never thought I'm able to feel and have it again in the real mad world; hope.
Every characters, especially with young Elrond, every relationship - even Saurondriel - and every breathtaking scenry are like remedies curing and healing me.
I can reach out to my old self that I had denied for once, and this self of mine is much more happier than ever, even if I don't make much friends in TROP Fandom, but I make one: @letthefairyinyoufly -- and feel that the whole Fandom is my friends who sharing similar but various original thories, positive opinions, marvelous creations - gifs, edits and fanarts - and kind folks with open-hearted, open-minded, and most important one; supporting each others.
I can go back writing fan fictions, drawing fanarts, learning Elvish again, and now in considering making TROP gifs after I gave up year ago. In conclusion is, this Fandom reignites my creative fire in my soul (Yes, to soul level) like I were real apprentice to Cirdan, burns all sorrow and misery away just like Elrond's speech in S01E01 and his steadfast on hope, and be one of the jovial reasons to live again on this insane Earth.
Thousand times of thank yous to 'The Lord of the Rings : The Rings of Power' and beautiful people in this Fandom. Particularly with @letthefairyinyoufly (again) I love you all so much. And I wish we are going to accomplish abundantly forward until we can do all of tributes no more.
And please stay strong and don't give much f*cks and sh*ts to haters and meanies. The Fandom is our delightfulness, happiness and amusement, never ever let them take our source of inspiration away, never. Just let them be oh-so-rightheous-me in their own narrow world. We, members of Fandom, are happy - that's all mattered.
Love you all with my sincerity.
Additional (edit) : This fandom also awakes my love of languages and linguistics again. 🥰
Love Letter to the Fandom
I would like to gush a bit about the Rings of Power fandom, because it's been one of the best things that happened to me in the past two years. :-) ROP is the biggest hyperfixation of my life, and thanks to being in the fandom I met so many nice, smart, funny and incredibly creative people (some of them in person).
We truly are blessed when it comes to creativity: there are so many amazing artists, skillful gif makers, talented fanfiction writers. It's also been a pleasure to read all the great meta and exchange theories, ideas, or simple details from the show that I would never noticed if other wouldn't have pointed it out. Our community has also triggered my own creativity; and most of my stills / videos / fanfics would never exist if it wasn't for discussions with other fans. Let alone ending up where I co-organised two events with the lovely @queenmeriadoc. It has also re-awakened my interest in Tolkien. I have been a fan for 30 years, but had a long hiatus. It's great to be back. :-) THANK YOU so much for making my life brighter!
And cheers for the good times to come!
And if you feel like sharing your positive experiences in the fandom, please do so!
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I got you forever
Paring: KK Arnold x mom!reader
Summary: Your mom had died due to bad heart problems and your father was never in the picture so you had to step up to take care of your younger brother how was a freshman in high school while your a freshman in college soon you started dating kk but haven’t told her about your brother scared that she will leave you, kk starts to get suspicious why you been sneaking around her so she decides to confront you
Warnings: a little Arguing. my bad spelling
From yanna: I didn’t mean to make this so long😭 I hope y’all like it but am back to writing finally😌
“Brandon hurry up before you be late!” you yelled from the kitchen. it was your brother first day of high school you wanted it to be perfect.
“I’m ready, can you with my hair?” putting your keys in your pocket as you nod your head pushing him to the bathroom “get the gel and brush out, I be there in a minute”.
Walking to your room grabbing the box on your dresser. walking into the bathroom to see Brandon on his phone “Here you can open it now or later” handing him the box as you took his hair out of his ponytail.
he opened the box to see a necklace with a picture with you and him, he started at it for a sec you looked at him nervous “do you like it?” he nodded his head a smile coming on his face “yeah I like it thank you but you didn’t have to get me this” shrugging your shoulders slightly “I know but I wanted to”
A hour Later!
Walking up to kk dorm, you had drop off Brandon at school happy knowing he was going to enjoy high school.
The door open to a angry kk, walking in with confused look on your face “kk what wrong?” you ask only to be ignored calling out her name a couple of times. getting frustrated as she sat on the couch on her phone “kk answer me and stop being petty”.
kk turned her head towards you with no emotion on her face “Where were you?, you was supposed to pick me up so when can go on our date” her tone was demanded making you nervous.
“I over slept am sorry, I been stress over school you know that” you said half the of the truth, kk rolled her eyes not blelive any of it “Yeah yeah sure”.
“What that supposed to mean?” crossing your arms as you look at kk disbelief on your face “nothing i believe you” “you know I don’t care be mad all you want am leaving” kk looks at you not saying anything once again “Fine act like that then” you say walking out the door slamming the door as your did.
1 Week Later!
It’s been a week since you talk to kk you could admit it. It was petty but you couldn’t tell her about Brandon not yet at least or maybe never, you been down all week but trying to hide it from Brandon but knowing you can’t.
“Sis what’s wrong you been sad all week don’t think I didn’t notice” turning your head to look at your brother knowing you can’t hide anything from him “Me and kk got into fight” he sits next you putting his arms around you “What was it about?”.
laughing a bit about how stupid it is “Um just me not making enough time for her” “is it because of me?” Quickly shaking your head at his question looking down at your lap “No never it’s just that I haven’t told her about you” you say quietly “What?, you said you tell her” letting out a huff “I know but am Scared she leave me” Brandon moves his arm from around you making you face him all the way “Look if she loves you she wouldn’t mind if you have a kid”.
Laughing at his seriousness but nodding your head “Your right, do you want to meet her tomorrow?” “Mhm I guess but if I don’t like her she gotta go” he joked but half serious “Ok ok little boy, now let’s go make dinner” getting up wrapping your arm around your brother shoulder walking to the kitchen.
The Next Day!
You and Brandon waited at kk dorm door nervous sat in your body waiting for someone to open the door.
The door was open by Paige who stared at you then Brandon she point at Him then putting two together you open your mouth to say something before you hear kk shout “Paige who’s at the door?!” Feeling nervous as Paige let’s y’all in, you see kk on the couch watching a game one of her favorite shows “Paige omg who’s at the door!” kk yelled once again going silent once she saw you her face scrunching up in confusion.
“who’s this” she ask looking at your brother who was staring right back at her, you stood there for a bit trying to find the words, feeling a nudge from your brother “come on tell her”.
“Um can we speak just me and you?” you ask not wanting to do this in front of her roommates who were all in the living room.
She gets open from the couch grabbing your hand leading you to her bedroom closing the door behind her, nothing was said for a bit as y’all look at each other “um so that my brother look am sorry fo-” before you could finish kk engulfed you in a hug “it’s ok I understand why” the tears started to fall from your eyes hiding your face in her shoulder as you began to sob as you tried to form words out but nothing came out.
All the worry and nervousness you felt went away as you cried in your girlfriends arms. you soon fell asleep in kk arms, she moved you into a comfortable position walking to her closet grabbing a blanket covering you with it place a soft kiss on your cheek walking out the room closing door quietly behind her.
Walking into the living room seeing Brandon talking to Paige at the table.
Brandon turned his head to looking at kk confused to see her by herself “Where my sister at?” he says in a rude tone.
kk was a little shock at his rudeness but realizing he was just concerned for his sister “She fine. she fell asleep” she says sitting down at the table next to him only to receive a dirty look for him.
“Um so like how old are you??” kk ask not sure what to say “14 I turn 15 in next month” the air awkward as he answered, kk look at Paige for help not knowing what to say.
Paige only shock her head not knowing either,they say in more silence as kk said the first question that came to mind “so do you do any sport?” she watch Brandon face light up at the question as he shook head “Yeah i do track basketball and football I just got into volleyball too” he said he couldn’t hold back his excitement as he continued to talk more about his hobbies. Kk began to feel a smile come on to her face as the watch Brandon talk she could get use to this.
Couple Hours Later!
Opening your eyes looking around the room not seeing kk with you. Getting up walking over to kk closet grabbing a shirt and shorts changing into them.
Walking out the room being meet with kk and Brandon doing just dance as kk roommates recording kk as she lost to Brandon for the 3rd time.
“Bro i hate this game!” kk yelled as your brother laugh at the angry girl, finally turning there head’s hearing you clear your throat. “Hi baby!, how did you sleep?” Kk says walking over to you engulfing you into a hug place kiss all over your face.
“I slept fine kk” wrapping your arms around her, waving at Brandon who give y’all a disgusting look “Can y’all not do this in front of my please” letting out a laugh as moved away from kk walking over to your brother “you be fine now shut up so I can beat you in just dance” you shove him lightly as you start the game.
Kk watch you have fun with your brother, you look so happy even if she didn’t have this in mind for her College experience she just happy to see you happy.
#kk arnold x fem!reader#kk arnold x reader#kk arnold#uconn#uconn wbb#uconn huskies#uconn women’s basketball#wbb x reader#wcbb x reader#wcbb#wbb#women's basketball
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Grateful Days
Armando
Sitting in my bed, I moped and grimaced at how shitty everything has turned over the past few days. I’m still truly upset about the failed proposal, but more than anything I’m upset with myself for how I handled it. After sobering up, it finally sank in how royally I messed up things. Staring at my phone as I waited for the possibility of her call, I sighed realizing that it was me who should be doing the apologizing. I don’t even know how I could allow myself to say such hurtful things to my heart like that. Shaking my head as I remembered the words, I decided it was high time I be the bigger person and go win my woman back.
Taking a nice hot shower, I collected my thoughts and feelings and came up with a genuine approach of apology. Stepping out, I quickly dried off and began dressing as the panicked nerves set in at the possibility of losing her forever. Pulling on my pants, I stressed looking for a decent shirt before settling on a grey long sleeve and placing on my chain. Making sure I looked presentable and smelled good for her, I started searching for my keys as more hope rose within me. Still looking for my keys, I heard a knock at the front door. “Mike, will you drop it? I already told you I’m fi-“ “Hi.” She spoke not making eye contact as she twiddled her fingers. “Hey, um come in, come in!” I rushed allowing her entry as I straightened up some loose clothes. Taking a seat on the couch, I sat next to her and as she waited awkwardly to speak. “I need to tell you something.” “No, me first.” I insisted taking her hands into mine.
“Diamonté, I am so deeply sorry for what I said to you that night. It replays over and over again and it makes me sick to my stomach that I even uttered something so hurtful to you. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, I barely deserve to be in your presence right now, but trust me when I say I’m sorry from the bottom of my heart. I truly regret the decision I made and if you don’t ever want to see me again, I’ll have to find a way to live with it. I just wanted to express that.” I recited as she sat looking down at our hands. Watching her knee bounce nervously, she burst into tears as I hugged her in concern. “Shit, I’m sorry, Dee, I didn’t mean to make you cry, bebita.” I hushed rocking her back and forth in my arms. Sniffling, she wiped her eyes before pulling back to look at me. “Armando, I’m pregnant.” She panted breathlessly as her tears continued to fall.
“You are?” I murmured happily as I took hold of her chin. Nodding, she wiped more of her tears. “I was supposed to tell you that night but when you proposed I got so nervous that I threw up. That’s why I ran off. I meant what I said about my answer being yes.” Holding her cheek in my hand, I smiled kissing her forehead as I started to cry. “You forgive me for being an idiot?” “Yes, you forgive me for not speaking up?” “Of course, baby, come here.” Meeting my lips, we shared a longing and meaningful kiss as I embraced her and rubbed her back. “How far along is the baby?” “I’m not sure yet. The first appointment is in a week.” “Are you excited?” I asked earning her sweet laugh. “Yes, I want a little girl.” She smiled as I coasted my hand across her stomach. “I do too.” I simpered before leaning down to kiss her lips again. “One more question.” I asked nervously. “Yes, I’ll marry you, Armando.” She smirked as I chuckled and went to grab the ring. “Good because you had me waiting long enough to put this on your finger.” I joked as I slid it in place on her left hand. Standing up, she hugged me tightly and kissed me once more making my heart skip a beat. “Now my turn to ask.” “Sí, mi vida?” “Can you please come back home so your son can stop asking where you are?” She huffed as I laughed nodding. “Of course, my baby.”
Terry
“Baby, get up! You’re too heavy for all this!” Anaya whined as I ignored her requests and got more comfortable on top of her. Today is one of my first full days off and I’m taking all the advantage I can get. Baby girl is fed and sound asleep in her crib, the bills are all paid, I’m not on call, and it’s not my night to cook. Yeaaaa, I’m gonna enjoy this. Or at least I had hoped I would. “Terry, get up or so help me God, imma smack you.” “You wouldn’t dare, Anaya.” I groaned deeply as I started to doze off in the soft pillows of her breasts. Feeling a hard sting to the back of my head, I shot her a deadly glare as she cackled. “Don’t give me that look, I told your heavy ass to move. Now get up so I can pee.” She fussed like a proud mama before getting up and twisting hard to the bathroom causing me to laugh. “Stop doing that stank ass walk.” “You love it though.” She countered from the commode as I shook my head.
Shutting my eyes once more, I felt the sweet and supple warmth of sleep taking over my body before being rudely interrupted by Anaya’s antics. “Baeeeee.” She whined grinding on me as I groaned. “Anayaaaa, I’m tryna sleep. Damnnnn.” “Fine, if you don’t love me just say that.” She spat moving to the other side of the bed. Clenching my jaw, I yanked her over to me by her nightgown and hovered over her face. Leaning down to her ear, I caressed her cheek with my hand before gently wrapping it around her throat. “Anaya, this the last time imma say it. I’m trying to get my rest and all this moving around and shit finna piss me the fuck off. I’m asking as nicely as possible, baby, just take a nap with me. Please?” Nodding slowly, I sighed before releasing her neck and cuddling back up to her chest while closing my eyes. “Put me to sleep, Daddy.” She purred softly rubbing my scalp as my eyes shot open.
** HOURS LATER**
“Ouuu, baby, let’s get these! I think they’d go nice with the room.” Nodding groggily, I followed aimlessly as she pointed out different items decorate the house. After putting Anaya to “sleep”, we napped for a good 45 minutes before she got hit with the home decor bug and she insisted that we needed to get supplies to finish the house. We are now three stores deep with no sign of retreat, and Daddy and baby Maya are completely over the experience. “Bae, you’re not even looking!” “Anaya, we have more than enough time to finish the house. Why can’t we just chill today?” Giving me the death glare, I smacked my teeth following her with the cart as she continued to shop. Turning into an aisle, I realized I forgot to grab water for the house and tried excusing myself to go and grab it. “Bae, I gotta grab water, you and Maya gone be okay for a few minutes?” “Yea, baby we’re fine.” “Aight, keep your phone close in case.” Nodding, she kissed me goodbye and I made my way to my destination.
Grabbing what I needed, I headed back to our original aisle before halting as I heard a guy. Peeking around to where they were, I noticed an older man standing too close as Anaya frowned up in anger holding Maya to her chest. “Look I’m not gonna tell you again to back the fuck up.” “We got a problem?” “Nah, young buck, I was just-“ “I believe I was asking her.” “No, it’s fine. He was just leaving.” She said putting Maya in the cart as he huffed in disapproval. “Will you just hear me out?” He asked grabbing her arm when I lost it. Setting the water down, I yanked him off his feet before holding him up to the shelving of the aisles. “Nah, motherfucka, you hear me out!” I seethed as Anaya cried for me to stop. “If you ever set foot near my wife and child again, I fucking promise you it’ll be the last thing you do!” I spat as my blood boiling more and more just thinking about this clown touching my lady.
“Terry, stop! Please! Just put him down.” She pleaded as I glared him down icily. “Gimme one good reason I shouldn’t fuck yo shit up right here.” “She’s my daughter.” He heaved out as I looked at her for confirmation. “He’s my dad, Terry. Just put him down.” Setting him down slowly, I faced her as she rubbed my arms and calmed my anger. “Explain, Anaya.” “He skipped out when I was two years old and it’s been just my mom and I ever since. Apparently he’s been living here in Miami so this run-in was not at all anticipated.” Nodding as I absorbed her words, I further calmed down as we exited the aisle, checked out, and went home. Relaxing day my ass.
Thank y’all for being so patient with me! The scene with Anaya and Terry was inspired by this video so I hope y’all enjoy.
Tags (Based on interactions, if you’d like to be added or removed let me know): @violetmuses @believeinthefireflies95 @brisunique @kaylaahisthebestest- @madxlov3 @armandosbabymama @casualsludgeshoetoad @mauvecherie-writes @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @theereina @kumkaniudaku @geneziesm @megamindsecretlair @simpledopeme @goldenjasssy @vivaalenaa @playgurlxoxo @ghettogirly @luuvprincess @perfectlyimperfectme @tbmotw @comfortzonequeen @melanin-honeyy @strawberrymoon45 @luckygirlszn @kindofaintrovert
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Twilight: Some Soulmate - Chapter Fifteen
Click here for masterlist
Parings: Paul Lahote x Reader
Description: Y/N a member of the Cullen family is imprinted on by one of the wolves, she is shocked, he is shocked. She is struggling with drinking animal blood over human, and he is disgusted by a vampire for a soulmate… But maybe it could work..?
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: None
Words: 1,135
Winter came quickly this year, though it probably felt quick due to Nessie's growth, she was born in September, and as we entered December she was almost the size of a six year old. It baffled us all. We had never seen a vampire/Human hybrid, so we were all stunned, Carlisle and Edward threw themselves into research whilst the rest of us spent our time with Nessie, enjoying her as much as we could.
I adored being around her, it broke my hear at the same time, and I still hadn't spoke to Paul about why it hurt so much.
"Auntie Y/n its time to read!" Nessie giggled running to me, she launched herself into my lap with a book in hand. We had taken to reading everyday, snuggled together on the couch in front of the fireplace. It had become one of my favourite things to do.
I took the book from her hand and opened it, I held the book as she read aloud, we usually got through the entire book in a day. Which meant I was soon becoming a regular in the book shop in town.
Once she had finished reading the chapter we were on, she stopped and looked up at me, grinning.
"When's Paul coming here again?" She asks, smiling so sweetly. She loved Paul, she loved most of the wolves it seemed, it was nice, seeing everyone get along all because of this little girl.
"He should be here soon, he's taking me out" I answer.
"On a date?" Nessie asked, giggling at the word.
"I think so" I answered, I pointed to where we were on the book, and she carried on her reading.
After a little while, Bella and Rosalie joined us, listening to Nessie read. We all loved watching her exist, which would probably seem weird to an outsider. I think we were all terrified on how long we would have with her.
"Did I miss reading time?" Paul suddenly said walking into the room, with Jacob behind him, Nessie's face lit up and she jumped up to hug both men. My heart hurt for a second watching Paul pick Nessie up for a tight hug, he spun her around the room and then let Nessie jump into Jacob's arms.
Paul must of seen the pained look on my face because he cocked his head to the side, as if he was asking me what was wrong. I shook my head and stood up, I hugged Paul tightly and pressed a short kiss to his lips.
"Hello my love, are you ready?" He asks, I nod. We weren't going out on a fancy date, just a coffee cafe date. We had found a cafe a short drive away we both loved. Paul took my hand and pulled me towards the door, I waved goodbye to everyone and followed.
"Who's driving today?" I ask, it was snowing heavily outside. But neither of us felt the cold, so it was his motorbike or mine. He shook his keys in the air and walked towards his bike.
He handed me the spare helmet, despite me telling him hundreds of times I don't need one, he still made me wear one. I didn't argue much, I knew he only pushed because he loved me.
We both hopped into the bike, I snuggled in close behind him, holding on tight, I rested my head on his back, ready for the ride. I loved being on the bike with him, I loved holding on tight, he was so warm, I loved being able to feel it. I couldn't believe how in love I was with this man, and we could spend forever together.
It was almost perfect. Almost. I could live with being with Paul forever, and loving him forever, unfortunately there was always a part of me, and I still hadn't worked out how big of a part of me, but I wanted a family. A family created by Paul and I.. And maybe I was getting ahead of myself, we hadn't been together for that long, but with forever, there was no set timeline of events. There was just us, and what we decided to do with forever.
I would have to talk to Paul soon, though there was nothing to do about the thing upsetting me, I suppose it would help to talk about it.
Forty minutes later, we arrived at our cosy little cafe, it didn't look too busy thankfully. We smiled at the staff as we walked in and sat in our usual booth, and we had had come here so often, the staff knew our drinks. I usually ordered a basic Cappuccino, it was warm and creamy and it hit the spot. I was glad beverages were something I could still enjoy.
Paul however, surprised me with his usual order, I was never allowed to tell anyone ever, though Edward knew, but that was inevitable, but his order was a vanilla frappe, which I didn't think so bad, but according to him, his pack would take the piss out of him for it. Men were something I'd never understand.
I chuckled and sipped my coffee happily. Our hands both on the table our fingers intertwined. We didn't even need to talk, his presents alone comforted me, I felt relaxed with him.
"I love you" I sighed happily. His grip on my fingers became tightly and he pulled my hand over to kiss my fingers.
"I love you my darling" He whispers with my fingers still touching his lips. I felt his love through my body, reaching every part of me. It was my favourite feeling. I wished we could stay like this forever, just me and him, in our little bubble.
But of course, its like my phone heard my thought, but it started ringing. I sighed and grabbed my phone from my pocket.
"Hello" I said as I answered it. It was Edward.
"Y/n I need you to come home now"
"What drama has our family created now" I joked, he didn't laugh.
"The Volturi want us dead" He spoke
"Again?" I ask, slight humor in my tone.
"Irina saw Nessie, she thinks we created an immortal child, she has gone to the Volturi, Alice has seen, they want us dead, I need you to come home" And then he hung up.
"We have to go back, don't we?" Paul asked, sadly I nodded, we left our coffees and left.
"One day, we'll actually finish a date" I laugh
"If we left this town for an extended date, I think that maybe wouldn't be interrupted" Paul grinned pulling me close to him, his arm around my shoulder.
"Have you met our families?" I smirk.
We hopped onto the bike and left our cosy cafe.
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A little gift (part 3, the final part, I promise lol)
Shadow Milk Cookie x reader fic (Chapter 2 - Theater of Lies)
Author's note: Had planned to leave this part for part 2, but decided to make a separate part for it, so here we go, final act, let's do this!
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3 (you are here)
"As saddening as it can be, we've reached the last round! And since it's the last question, you get twice the amount of points!" announced Shadow Milk with a sad tone in his voice, but at the same time he sounded excited for what was coming next. He pointed out this last question was for White Lily, you looked over your shoulder to see her pale face and eyes widened, she tried to steel herself, but what came next shocked her to her core.
"You sure seem proud of your new title of 'the Guardian of the Seal...' ...let's see how great you really are...!" and with that, Shadow Milk summoned lots of strings that held you and your friends up in the hair by the wrists and ankles, it scared you all, it was a painful feeling how tight the strings were.
But suddenly, you felt the strings let go of your limbs and you fell on a solid platform, it was a cardboard star! You were then carefully taken to the one place you never expected to be: Shadow Milk's hand. You were frozen in fear, trying your best to hide your trembling self. Your eyes were wide open, taking in every single detail in the giant entertainer's form, his attire, his strange hair (or hat, what even was all of that??), his face... his wonderful face and its... majestic features... oh my Witches, you were falling in love with him HARD, like a shooting star crashing on Earthbread (that doesn't make sense but you get the idea). You got up on your feet, but your shaking knees were not helping you keep your balance. You tried walking up to him, but you tripped over your own foot (like a clumsy main character, you hated it), but to your surprise, he caught you just in time! Your gaze softened at the surprisingly generous act, you were staring at him, at his gorgeous sky blue eyes, for so long, you got lost in them, you didn't notice you were so deep in there until Shadow Milk started talking to you with a voice so soft it could be softer than silk.
"Hello there, Y/N Cookie!" he began with a light chuckle, something that snapped you out of your trance and made you blush like mad.
"Hehe, don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you, my little star. You'll stay right here, close to me, so I can keep my eyes on you~." he said as he moved you to the top of the Silver Tree, where the night sky was covered with thousands of blue eyes peering into your soul. It took you a couple of minutes to register what just happened, you needed to lie down after that, you felt like you were about to pass out and you didn't wanna fall off the platform you were standing on, so you rested on it while everything else was happening.
While you were asleep, a lot of important events were happening: Shadow Milk Cookie was holding your friends hostage (Wizard’s string restraints were tighter than everyone else’s), White Lily Cookie was about to make the ultimate decision between saving everyone or defeating Shadow Milk, all while he was making sure you didn’t get caught in the crossfire because the last thing he wanted was for you to get hurt by his hands, especially hers. So everything was going great for him so far, he was going to kill your friends, rule Earthbread and have you be his favorite doll forever… until… something unexpected happened. White Lily used her Guardian powers not to attack Shadow Milk, but to seal the crack in the Tree, thus ruining his plans (also making shrink in size) and saving everyone in the process. You were slowly waking up after the blast healed the Tree, all those loud noises and bright lights were too much, you had to see what was going on.
“You... YOU...!!!! I gave you only two choices...!!!” his loud complaints woke you up more and more, you quickly got up from the platform and stretched. But suddenly, it started shaking and slowly falling, you tried your best to stay calm and steady, but you were at the top of the Tree so it wasn't as easy as you thought it would be. It wasn’t long before the cardboard star you were standing on disappeared completely and you were plummeting to the ground, screaming for help.
“…!!!” Shadow Milk gasped at the sight of you falling, so he extended his hand towards you and a bunch of gooey black tentacles rose from the ground to grab you, bringing you close to him.
“There you go, my darling! Wouldn’t want you hurting yourself now, would we~?” he said as he caressed your face, you blushed a darker tone at the gesture, you weren’t expecting to be this close to him like this, this was simply too much!
“Y/N Cookie! Hold on!” exclaimed White Lily, sending large green vines to your location, grabbing you and pulling you away from Shadow Milk.
“NO!!! You're NOT taking my star away from ME!!!!” he shouted as he sent more tentacles to grab you and pull you away from her, both cookies were now pulling you in opposite directions. It hurt you a lot, you were cracking from the tight grips the vines and tentacles had on you. You were visibly uncomfortable and groaning loudly, both cookies were now fighting for your safety and survival.
“How dare you ruin... This moment I've been waiting for for so long...” his tentacles’ grip on you was weakening, White Lily vines’ kept pulling away from him, their grips were so tight you were losing air, you couldn’t breathe properly anymore.
“Eugh... Agh...” you didn’t like hearing him groan in pain, his tentacles were getting weaker and weaker. White Lily took his moment of weakness to her advantage and used her vines to pull harder, successfully bringing you closer to her.
“WHOA!!” you exclaimed as you were pulled away from Shadow Milk’s grasp.
“ARGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!”
…
……everything went silent, everything turned white…
………….
You were unconscious for a long time.
“…….Y-……” someone was calling out to you.
“…Y/N…………..” you were slowly opening your eyes.
“……Y/N Cookie…!” your eyes shot wide open, you were breathing heavy, you tried to get up but the pain in your waist hit you like a bullet. Pure Vanilla and White Lily were holding you steady, making sure you didn’t hurt yourself more.
“It’s alright, Y/N Cookie! You’re safe.” said Pure Vanilla as he was healing your wounds.
“Aughh, hmm? Pure Vanilla Cookie…? White Lily Cookie…?”
“Oh Y/N Cookie, I’m so sorry for the damage I caused, if there’s anything I could do to make it up to you…” said White Lily, gently placing her hand on your forehead while looking away from your damaged self.
“No no, it’s ok. You did it to save me, thank you…”
White Lily smiled softly at you, Pure Vanilla smiled at her, he was so grateful that she was able to save you. A few moments later, Gingerbrave and friends, Mercurial Knight and Silverbell came to see you.
“Y/N Cookie, you’re ok!” exclaimed Gingerbrave.
“Oh thank the Witches you’re alright!” said Strawberry.
“Finally, it’s all over for that Beast. Thank you so much, White Lily Cookie.” added Wizard.
“Hehe, hey guys.” you whispered as you tried to get up, your voice was weak from the screaming, and you couldn’t maintain your balance from your broken waist. Luckily, Mercurial Knight and Silverbell were there to catch you.
“Careful Y/N Cookie, do not overexert yourself.” said Mercurial Knight.
“Don’t worry Y/N Cookie, we’ll help you get better, we’ll take you back to the kingdom so you can rest!” said Silverbell while smiling at you.
“Thanks, you two, I appreciate it.”
As you all returned to the Faerie kingdom, you all noticed how everything was going back to normal, all the magic from Shadow Milk’s realm was receding. Oh man… he was gone… oh… why were you feeling sad? This was supposed to be a good thing, right? …right? You weren’t sure how to feel about this, until you heard his voice again.
“You think you won, don't you?!”
“HUH?! How are you still talking?!” exclaimed Wizard, you wanted to know how he was talking too!
“You may be celebrating your little victory for now... ... But heed my words! We have finally risen. Do not think that you can hold us back. Foolish Cookies...! You simply have no idea what's waiting for you...! HA HA HA HA HA!”
…
…….
……….
It had been a while since Shadow Milk warned you all about the upcoming danger that was headed your way. You were feeling better about your injuries, Pure Vanilla managed to heal you and the Faerie Cookies patched you up. Everyone was celebrating White Lily's triumph over Shadow Milk's evil ways by having a feast to honor her and the late Elder Faerie. None of this made you feel better emotionally though, you felt conflicted whether you should be happy for everyone winning against Shadow Milk... or sad over his forced departure. You needed some time alone to think, so you excused yourself to go check on the Silver Tree, Mercurial Knight suggested against this because you were still healing from your wounds. You told him you'd be ok on your own, you trusted White Lily's magic would protect you from harm, so he let you go. You made your way towards the Tree, where you rested your head against it and imagined yourself with Shadow Milk again.
"Hey, Shadow Milk Cookie? ...I thought your show was great. I thought... I think... you're great! You're amazing, and funny, and extremely handsome, heh." you started quietly, hoping he could hear you from inside the Tree.
"I wish... I wish I could... see you again..." you whispered as you placed your hands on the Tree, giving it a little kiss, maybe he could feel you from the other side...
...
......
..........
"You're an interesting little cookie, aren't you~?" he spoke to you in your head, so no one else could hear you. You were startled by his response, you didn't think he'd actually say something! You took a few steps back from the Tree, you were hoping nobody saw you doing all of this.
"What the?? How are you talking to me?"
"I'm in your head, silly! Heheheheh!"
"Oh, right. That's not concerning at all."
"Hehe! Y'know, out of all the Cookies I've tormented today, I didn't expect you to resist. In fact, it almost looked like you were truly... interested in me! Why is that?"
You didn't think he'd ask you about your behavior towards him, so with no other way of answering (cause you knew he could see through your lies), you told him the truth.
"O-Oh, w-well, I just... I just thought... that... you were the most intriguing Cookie I've ever met, and I've met a lot of Cookies on my many adventures, but none of them had the same effect on me like you have."
"And what might that be?"
"...Your charms, your witty banter, the fact that you made me laugh several times during your show... and... the way you treated me was so... gentle and caring... not to mention bold... I honestly didn't expect that coming from the Beast of Deceit himself."
Your answer filled Shadow Milk's ego... and his heart. He felt himself blushing and genuinely smiling from the honest opinion you had about him, he wanted to jump out of the Tree to give you a big hug and never let go, he wanted to smooch you until you were breathless, leaving marks on you to let everyone know that you were his and only his.
"...Well aren't you such a cute little cookie~? As a token of my appreciation, here's a little something that you may have lost during my show." you tilted your head in confusion, what was he talking about? Suddenly, out of nowhere, you heard something fall behind you. You quickly turned around and gasped at what you saw. It was your hat! The one that puppet gifted you! Oh, you were so happy to see that hat again, you took a quick sniff and... yep, the same blueberry milk scent from before.
"...Thank you!" you held the hat close to you before you put it on, still fits.
"You're welcome, doll! Just make sure you don't lose it again... or let your small wizard friend see you with it... hats like that one don't just grow on trees, y'know. And... if you ever come back here... I'd love for you to give me more of those sweet and tender kisses of yours, maybe I could return the favor~."
What the?! How does he know about...?? Wait, he knows, but you never actually kissed him... did you? In a split second, your mind travelled back to the memory of you... giving the puppet a kiss... oh my Witches...
"I- uh-... uhhh...b-but... w-wait what?!" is all that came out of your mouth. You couldn't believe it: The puppet, that was him in disguise! You kissed Shadow Milk Cookie (on the forehead, but still)! Shadow Milk laughed heartily at your stuttering self, blushing while doing so.
"Hahahaha! Oh, you look so adorable when you're confused~!" he teased with a devious grin that you couldn't see. You were feeling very dizzy from all your rushing thoughts and rapidly beating heart, you had to sit down for a little while, luckily the wind was there to cool off your head.
"Hehe, you're full of surprises, Shadow Milk Cookie. And sure, if I ever come back here... then maybe... I could give you a surprise of my own~." you said while taking your hat from your head and giving it a long kiss while looking at the Tree, knowing that he could somehow still see you. Your words and your actions made him gasp loudly and jump with excitement, his face turning dark blue while he floated giddily, giggling, squealing, flapping his hands and kicking his feet in the air like a high school girl who got asked out on a date by the hottest guy in school. You heard him making all those noises, which made a light blush grow on your cheeks, then you chuckled while covering your mouth with one hand. But alas, it was time to go, you knew this because you heard your friends calling you in the distance.
"Y/N Cookie, come on! We gotta go!" shouted Gingerbrave.
"Pure Vanilla and White Lily are calling us!" said Strawberry as loudly as she could.
"Let's go Y/N Cookie, we don't wanna keep them waiting, do we?" added Wizard.
"Yeah yeah, I'm coming!" you answered back, hiding the tone of annoyance in your cheerful response. You really weren't looking forward to leaving, especially since you had a good thing going on with him.
"Well, I have to go now. It was nice talking to you again." you told him sadly with a small frown on your face.
"..."
"...Shadow Milk Cookie?"
"Oh, yeah, my apologies heh, I was just... thinking" he said sternly, staring at your friends, and Pure Vanilla's his Soul Jam.
"Hm, about what exactly?" you said teasingly with a smirk. This made him snap out of his thoughts and smile.
"About how much I'm going to miss you, my shining star~! Hehehehe!" he chuckled lightly. You were blushing a lot, he called you his shining star! Witches, you wanted to jump and squeal, but you couldn't show it because your friends were watching you.
"Uh-... w-well uhm, hehe, I'm gonna miss you too...!" you said while breathing heavily, he's been flirting with you so many times, it was time you did something about it before you left, so you did the next best thing.
"Goodbye, my dazzling jester~!" you finished your statement with a wink and a bow, then quickly turned around and ran to your friends with the biggest grin on your face. You had to hide it from your friends so they don't ask you about what you were doing by the Tree, you also hid your hat somewhere in your clothing only you knew about. As you approached your friends, you all waved goodbye to the Faerie Cookies.
If only you could see the look on his face, he was flabbergasted from your bold move, his face was a whole blueberry, melting in place, drunken smile and everything, sighing dreamily over your eventual return.
"Hey Y/N Cookie, what are you smiling about? Did something good happen?" asked Strawberry curiously.
"Oh it's nothing, just remembered something funny." you said as you cleared your throat, trying to wipe away the smile of your face as best as you could. As you all left the Faerie Kingdom, you took a glance at Pure Vanilla's Soul Jam and you heard him speak to you one last time.
"Farewell, Y/N Cookie of the Cookie Kingdom, I'll see you soon." he said softly, his last message to you, if you could, you'd invite him into your kingdom. You remembered how he mentioned that Dark Enchantress would give him and his comrades new cookie bodies so they could unlock their full potential again. Maybe when he finally gets his new body, you could give him some proper affection. Back home, you stare at your hat as you wait patiently for the day when you eventually reunite with him, when you give him those kisses you promised him... when he returns the favor in the most dramatic and romantic way possible, it would be expected from a Cookie like him, you'd still welcome him and his show of affection with open arms.
When you two meet again.
The end.
#cookie run#cr kingdom#crk#crk x reader#crk x you#cookie run x reader#cookie run x you#cookie run x y/n#cookie run kingdom#cookie run kingdom x reader#shadow milk cookie#shadow milk crk#shadow milk x reader#canon x reader#canon x you#crk beast yeast#beast yeast#sorry if this seems rushed#I had a lot written here but the app refreshed itself and I lost everything#so I was quickly typing what I remembered
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Where we go from here...
It took me awhile last evening to get my mind in the right place to do the baking I had to do. I thought I would put on some music on my little radio station to kick my head into work mode. Tried some Glenn Gould playing Bach (always a go-to for morning coffee music), and it didn't hit right.
So I dialed up the huge mix I have titled "1969-72" and almost immediately started the long road back to feeling like myself. After about a half-hour, I was in the groove. Listened to the mix far into the night, after I'd finished working.
I managed to keep my focus and got the cookies all baked, and kiddo's mom happily packed them up and just left for her party, and I'm over here for the next couple of nights, sadly for my back. Two nights of "No Mattress For Old Men" and I'll need a week to recover, but hey...
Wanna thank all y'all for your comments and messages when I posted that I was prolly just gonna go black. Y'all loved me back off the ledge. Posted in a moment of true despair...something I haven't felt in awhile. I am hurting for all of us...and all of you. I have never in my long life been scared for the nation until now. Or at least that's what I thought. This feeling of complete despair, the emotional pain of millions of people, the hopelessness, the fear for the future...after I sat with it awhile I realized yes, that I have felt this same combination of toxic shit before.
In the 65 years I've been on this stinkin' rock, I've been through a number of particularly devastating previous elections, most notably the two Bush2(Dumbya) regimes. I remember the night of the 2004 election...Americans were posting tearful photos taken by their webcams, with them holding up signs saying "We're sorry."
I saw first-hand all the fights for rights that we have gained from the early '60s onward. To find ourselves set back to square one, 50-60 years later, when we had finally gained some footing toward fairness, is cruel. And cruelty is what they will wield as their main weapons in the coming days, as we suddenly find ourselves in the same predicament as 1963-65 when a virginal Joan Baez and little Bobby Dylan changed protest music forever.
So yes, I have felt this same way, and no, the nation didn't die or descend into complete chaos. Our lives went on, essentially as they had, with a growing pile of "things we can't do anymore" heaped atop via the collective wounding of 9/11.
This is another collective wounding--an intentional collective wounding. The next few months are going to be chaotic, they will try to push through their agenda as quickly as possible come january.
I may not post much overtly political stuff from this point on, but if I do it will be refocused on positive news. I don't know for certain how long that might last, but I can't take a 24/7 barrage of bad news and outrage bait. I'm probably gonna unfollow a few blogs, but don't think it's personal...it is Mental/Emotional Health Care.
And yes, I've been in the trenches with y'all a long time...we are all Family at this point...Brothers and Sisters in arms. I'm not leaving, but my presence/role will be different, out of the renewed sense of self-preservation this has thrust me into.
I woke up disoriented, but quickly remembered I'd gotten what I needed to get done done, and had a slow re-entry, sipping my coffee for a couple hours. I kept remembering how well the music had helped me last night, and then the beginnings of what this might turn into began to coalesce. Concepts of a plan. lulz.
As the day went on, I've been on a roller-coaster, emotionally, with seemingly hopeful leads on a roommate not materializing, on top of my craigslist ad for a roomie getting flagged and deleted. Pretty goddamn hopeless as far as this situation is going.
Looked at the huge box of cookies I'd managed to bake last night and it hit me. I've been reblogging the "Gooood Morning, TUMBLR!" graphics every morning up until the election. The image of Robin Williams being in character calling up the role of the military DJ.
Back when I did my cafe in the mountains of NM, a friend lent me a book called "Radio Venceramos", about South American rebels who had a radio transmitter and clamped the leads to the barbed-wire fences to broadcast their signal/programming to their fellow rebels.
Still not sure how the format will work out, but I've decided: my new role is going to primarily be the voice of inspiration over the air-waves to my fellow rebels. Not sure if it will be a second blog or if it will be a continuation of PTSD, but with no further ado, I will become the Voice of my fellow rebels with:
I may make a second blog out of it, but until then I guess I'll make it a series of posts. Tumblr will let you blog up to ten videos/post, and that may be how I start things out. Consider them like stacks of 45s and LP tracks from my paul-shaffer-brain...meant to help keep spirits up and keep the focus.
Made a couple of graphics, will probably try others in the course of it.
So the message today was "You did what you had to do. Heal up for what's ahead."
I will probably start this new focus in the morning...I'm still chewin'.
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Many a moons we have spoken,
Stories told with our emotions,
Passing glances and sunshine eyes,
Tell me the thoughts you picturize?
"Every song, every sunset, it all just reminds me of you."
“You and me. Together.”
He was young and it was summer when they were down by the water, hand-in-hand. Dazai looked distant, casting his gaze out to the lonely sea with such longing that it smelled strongly of salt and felt like the seaweed slime washing ashore. Chuuya got down on one knee and cupped his hands around sand. Warm. The grains slipped from between his fingers the same way opportunities and the concept of them slipped from their future. The past. The present. And the future. Infinite possibilities condensed into a single moment beneath the sun with a flock of seagulls circling above, searching for a place to roost. The waters lapped at their feet and soaked their toes.
He held Dazai's hand a little tighter. Because if he didn't, Dazai might drift out to sea and be lost like all the other sunken ruins and forgotten treasures down, down at the bottom of the ocean. The way Dazai looked at him and the way Dazai felt—felt so right and looked positively brimming with adoration by evening but by day poisoned with envy—Chuuya ached. Envy for what he couldn't be, but it mattered not to Chuuya. He cared not for what Dazai could never be. He loved what was.
Then, he caught a whiff of cinnamon: reminding him of some bygone spring when they took a dive. Chuuya surfaced first with a gasp, sucking breath into his lungs and coughing out water. To his left, nothing. To his right, bubbles on the surface. A reflection of messy brown curls. Then a hand on his ankle.
It pulled him down under.
Chuuya fought to keep his eyes open underwater, but the salt stung. Almost too much. Dazai held a finger to his mouth. Be quiet. If he could speak. And then a playful smile with hidden intent played on his lips and Chuuya understood.
When they resurfaced, they heard the faraway calling of Chuuya's parents. The king and queen. Wanting their prince back at home. Safe and sound. Where he belonged and where Dazai did not and never would. Dazai was a worker at the end of the day, in suit and tie with tray in hand going around asking members of royal families the same, persistent question: "Refreshments?"
The sun tickled his cheeks with a pleasant warmth. This was their little secret, after all. The same secret they planted and protected from the snow and flooding rains. The secret that blossomed and became soft as rose petals and embraced them in longing. The longing smelled of apricot among the reeds. Of dozens of little fireflies half past dusk. And they were gazing up at a starless sky on a hill with the grass beneath them, bodies touching.
“Chuuya!”
This time, his father called. They always called for him, but never for Dazai.
At the end of the day, Chuuya and Dazai were one. Two entwined souls torn apart by day that always found their way back to one another after sunset.
Dazai was the world by day. Needed. With great expectations upon his shoulders that he sometimes tired of them all. But he lived for watering the garden beneath Chuuya's balcony if only to listen in on the prince humming the quietest melody whisked away on the wind.
By night, he became nothing. An exhaled afterthought once the king and queen put their heads on their pillows and the lights went out.
And by night, he became Chuuya’s everything.
“Forever?”
Home. There was a time when Chuuya wouldn't question that word. Home was here, where his mother and father were. But now? Everything was different. Draped in absence, void, memories of the past. He would never see his mother again fixing her hair at the dressing table. No one browsing old books in father's study. And in the hallways, there was only the spirit of the carefree child who now tried to find himself in a new reality.
“And ever. And ever.”
#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#bsd dazai#bsd chuuya#soukoku#soukoku fanfiction#my writing#anticide writes#i love u#this put the wrinkles back in my brain after smooth gaming raft LOL#no but i love this prompt so much it's Them#how dare i forget about them in the sea of all the other skk aus vying for my brainspace#thank you!!!!!!!#asks#royalty skk au
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Actual lengthy reply time finally (sorry this took me literally forever)
Yeah I did not want Leo to be alone right after this, and I didn’t want Piper to be alone with it either. Canon may refuse to let them go to Jason’s funeral, but I will let them grieve together, damn it!
The backstory/pre-plot part actually ended up being quite a bit more than just a prologue, it’s the first few chapters, but I hope it’ll still feel well-paced and fitting when we get around to the rest of them! I wanted to take the time to get into all the feelings and set up/resolve some stuff, plus sticking to the ToA timeline I had to get to the point where Apollo is back on Mount Olympus, which takes a minute. Most of it is relevant and will be back to haunt Leo later!
Responding to the bullet points by putting the relevant numbers in front (not sure why it apparently changed all of yours to 1. in this reblog, they’re correct if I look at your post?? Very strange)
2. Yep! Leo not feeling loved/worthy of love was a huge deal in HoO, and all canon did was put a girlfriend on it and pretend we’re good now, but we will not be doing that here! Leo will learn to recognize that he’s loved, and if it’s the last thing he does :)
4. This bugged me so much in HoO you have no idea. I actually kind of prefer HoO to pjo just because I adore all the characters, but plot wise it’s all over the place and we really miss out on a bunch of friendship stuff because it’s so focused on all the love triangles. I need more platonic Argo bonding!! Let them all be buddies!!
5. This is partially me being demiromantic but many if not all my favorite ships are characters that have strong platonic bonds first. Something something marrying your best friend. I also feel like Leo and Jason both took forever to realize they were into each other (Leo grumbling about Jason constantly being hot in his general vicinity being the reason why he doesn’t have a girlfriend will always crack me up, lol, and Jason spent so long doing what he thought he was supposed to/what was expected of him, including his relationship with Piper, that he didn’t really get to stop and properly have a sexuality crisis for ages) so I wanted to re-establish that for the fic, especially since valgrace fics are kind of split on whether they have jiper happen and break up like they did in canon or just never have them date at all
6. I couldn’t resist sneaking that one in. Insert lame Apollo dodgeball Leo Valdez joke LMAO
7. <3
That’s such a smart way to put it!! Leo is dealing with a lottt and we’re going to get into it a bit more in future chapters but yeah he’s definitely avoiding talking about some of it (in both the way that we the audience don’t see all of it and in him and Piper actively coping via distracting themselves and not talking about some of it)
Honest confession: I really struggle with Shel. I’m glad she exists, but she’s basically an OC when you try to work with her in fanon, because she really only exists to confirm Piper is sapphic and canon gives us absolutely no information on her. I know she’s Cherokee, I know she’s sapphic, I know she likes hiking and I think she has a piercing? That’s it. She’s just kind of a nothing character, which is fine in the books but makes it very hard to work with her in fanon content. Can we have at least a little additional input on her please? 🤲
Glad you think that works well!! Especially because I actually don’t find myself that funny? Though I think it probably helps that I’ve got a general tendency to get attached to traumatized joke coping characters, so I’m pretty familiar with it conceptually. The last book series I fixated on also did this a lot (intense explorations of grief briefly interrupted by memes LOL)
The audience knows stuff!! But Leo was not around for that! And he’s processing a lot at the moment but that just really makes it sink in how much he missed, both because he was gone for so long and also when he was there but so caught up in his own problems (and especially in seeing how “happy” Piper and Jason were apparently without him, because again Leo doesn’t feel worthy of love and has spent a lot of time in foster families who weren’t that great and made him feel like they’d eventually decide they didn’t want him anymore) that he didn’t see the cracks that Piper now tells him were there basically for the whole relationship. So yeah it’s a shock. On a lot of levels. But it’s a lot less earthshaking than the shock of Jason being gone, and therefore easier to focus on. The Piper related changes may or may not also hit him sometime in the near future ;)
Quotes section (please just in general know I’m delighted you did this it brings me suchhh joy to see what bits touched my readers the most):
-No spoilers, but I will say there’s a reason the fic starts out with memories of Esperanza. And yeah, the whole Jason situation is tearing open a lot of old wounds, specifically because of how similar it is: a situation Leo was unable to do anything to change that he feels responsible for (even though, realistically speaking, he isn’t). A loved one that got ripped away from him far too soon that he never got the chance to say goodbye to. A kind of desperate ache that nothing is ever going to fix.
I have a couple of grievances with ToA, and the way none of Jason’s loved ones are allowed to stay mad at Apollo is definitely one of them. Like, it’s established Jason died because of Apollo’s broken Styx prophecy! We’re told that’s the reason it happens!! Piper is the only one who gets to be mad at him at all, and even then she’s only upset for a single scene and has forgiven Apollo the next time they meet. Grief can be messy and nasty and people lash out sometimes! Not everyone needed to immediately be totally fine with the fact that Apollo got Jason killed!
-Glad you enjoyed that joke! I’m not super good with machinery so I worried I’d struggle with working that part into his narration but there’s some references to it I’m actually really happen with, and this is one of them :)
-Something something Leo is of the opinion that Piper should hate him how he hates himself! Also in this context, feeling a little evil about the fact that one of the reasons Leo doesn’t go to the Camp Jupiter funeral is that he thinks everyone would blame him for Jason’s death. The reality of it is that they wouldn’t! But when his mom died his aunt did blame him and so he automatically assumes that this time everyone will look at him and see that same blame written all over his face.
-English being my third language (technically second language going off of how well I actually speak it, I learnt French first but my French is shit lol), I’m really glad to hear it haha
-All of their lives are fucking weird, it’s a demigod thing, but Leo’s almost got everyone beat just based on the fact that the Queen of the Gods went out of her way to come babysit him. It’s even funnier because I’m pretty sure none of the others know this except for Piper and Jason. I wish we’d seen him tell Percy and Annabeth, I feel like that would have been a very funny interaction.
-There is something related to Leo in that box, which may or may not be something I’ve mentioned on this blog before ;)
-Unfortunately for Leo, there’s a bit more stuff he has to deal with before the Plot can start. For instance, the fact that he is (theoretically) in a relationship right now.
I’m so so glad you enjoyed this!! I’ve read and reread your comment a whole bunch of times now, and every time I do I get this huge grin on my face. This is the kind of comment i don’t get a lot but that when I do get it I’ll treasure literally forever. You made my whole month with this and it’s made me very excited to get back to the fic (which between exam phase and hospital stuff I haven’t gotten to work on nearly as much as I hoped lately)
The choiceless hope in grief
Summary: Leo Valdez has lived and died for the gods. Their war has shaped his life since he was a baby. With Gaia defeated, he sort of hopes he can finally rest. He has friends and some semblance of home to return to for the first time since he was eight years old. Just this once, he allows himself to hope the good things might stick.
But the gods aren’t done with them just yet, by the time Leo finds his way back, Jason is gone.
This time, Leo decides he’s done just taking the Fates’ bullshit lying down. If getting his best friend back means striking a deal with the gods and venturing into the Underworld… well, it’s probably not even the most reckless thing he’s ever done.
The caveat of said deal? He has to trust Jason will follow him, or his self-doubt will doom them both.
And after the life he’s lived, Leo is so intricately familiar with self-doubt that he could probably trademark the word.
Or: The only possible way for Orpheus to succeed is if he learns to think of himself as a person worth loving.
Word Count for chapter 1: ~5k
Rating: Teen and Up
So! *claps hands together* I’ve been threatening you guys with my Orpheus Eurydice valgrace fic for a while! Technically I wanted to wait to post this until I’m completely done writing the fic, and I mostly intend to stick to that! I’m only posting this now because I have a minor surgery tomorrow and I’d rather be anxious about fic related things than about the surgery in question. So, take this chapter as a preview of sorts, more to come soon-ish but probably not immediately!
A couple of important notes before we start:
-TW for suicidal ideation. It’s less Leo actually wanting to die and more his canon behavior of “I’m doing something extremely reckless that might succeed but if it doesn’t, my death is an acceptable consequence”, paired with general grief related self-loathing, but if you think you’re not in the right headspace to read about that, come back when you are or at least tread carefully. This fic pics up at the end of The Burning Maze, so especially the beginning is pretty heavy on the grief stuff.
-Since ToA is vaguely canon to this fic, Leo and Calypso are technically dating in the beginning, but they don’t really interact positively as a couple (honestly they don’t interact that much in general) and break up pretty early on. Just be aware in advance that they’re still together for a little bit.
-Fic title is from Talk by Hozier which is maybe a painfully obvious pick but it was too perfect for me not to use it.
Chapter 1: Leo and Piper have an extended sleepover
It wasn’t a discussion between Leo and Piper whether or not to go to Jason’s funeral. They came to the decision that they wouldn’t silently—or as silently as one could come to an agreement when all parties involved were sobbing.
Maybe it should have been a discussion. There was a part of Leo that worried he’d regret this later—his refusal to take this chance to say goodbye and let himself grieve.
But Leo remembered his mother’s funeral. Remembered the way his aunt Rosa had looked at him like she knew his mother’s death had been his fault. Leo couldn’t stand the thought of people looking at him like that again.
He also didn’t remember his mother’s funeral bringing him any sense of closure or comfort. He’d stood at her grave, afterwards, just as desperate and afraid and utterly inconsolable as he’d been before the funeral, except it had suddenly felt sickeningly final. The wound it had torn in his soul had kept bleeding for years, and the scars would stay forever. He didn’t need any of Apollo’s shitty oracles to know Jason’s death would be exactly the same.
At this point, Leo was pretty sure his sanity was being held together by a combination of jokes and a truly questionable amount of duct tape.
Beyond all that, though, Camp Jupiter was a battlefield right now. It would continue to be a battlefield for the foreseeable future.
Leo wasn’t a coward. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to go back and help. But one of his best friends was already in a box, and there was no way in hell he’d risk the other.
With how tightly Piper was clinging to him, maybe she was thinking the same thing.
For all his big talk about dragon escorts, Festus did most of the actual escorting on his own, occasionally torching what Leo hoped were monsters and not random public monuments. Leo, for his part, spent most of the journey crammed into the backseat of the car next to Piper, sandwiched between her and a bunch of moving boxes that seemed determined to flatten him into a Leo-shaped pancake whenever they took a sharp turn.
He’d spent so long thinking about seeing her and Jason again.
He’d talked Calypso’s ear off about them the whole journey, to the point where it had clearly started to annoy her. He’d thought about various ridiculous entrances he could make, and the fact that he’d probably get yelled at, but he’d also thought about sitting together by the campfire, sharing nachos. He’d thought about Jason hugging him so fiercely that he couldn’t breathe, and Piper cussing him out while she held him, making him promise never to do anything that reckless again.
Now Piper was actually holding him, and Leo couldn’t feel anything. There was a numbness in his chest. He wasn’t sure he had it in him to ever feel happiness again. Hell, even if he did, what was the fucking point? Every time anything even remotely good happened in his life, it got ripped away from him again.
They didn’t talk a whole lot for most of the drive. They cried until it felt like they couldn’t anymore, clinging to each other like desperate children.
Even if they’d wanted to talk about what had happened, Piper’s dad was right there, and despite the Mist usually working overtime for them, having him overhear seemed like a gamble. Or, well, maybe that was what Leo told himself. Maybe he just wasn't sure he was ready to hear it all. He still felt like he couldn’t think. He was overwhelmed to hell and couldn’t stop fidgeting.
Several hours into the trip, his stomach started grumbling. Piper dug through the bag at her feet and offered him one of her PB&J sandwiches, but Leo couldn’t eat. He hadn’t skipped a meal in forever—he’d been homeless and unsure when he’d even get access to the next meal enough times that it had been all but tattooed into his skull that he couldn’t afford to—but he couldn’t even think about eating without feeling sick. He thought about Jason. He thought about the state he’d left Camp Jupiter in and the fact that they hadn’t even been able to give the dead their proper funeral rites.
Had Leo’s help made any difference at all? Had anything he’d done in his life changed things even slightly?
Leo knew the Fates had intended for it to be fire that fell—for him to burn in a bright, hot blaze and turn himself to charcoal. But he’d refused to stay dead like a good little pawn, and now Jason was gone, and it was all his fault.
He wasn’t sure how Piper could even look at him right now, but he was beyond grateful that she was holding onto him as tightly as she did. It was the only reason he didn’t fall to pieces completely. The cog at the heart of Leo’s machine had broken in a way that made it utterly beyond repair, and now it felt like a matter of time before the whole thing came apart. Piper holding him was the only reason his remaining pieces were still functioning.
It should have been impossible for Leo to fall asleep under these circumstances, but he’d been traveling for hours and fighting before then and he’d cried out his remaining energy, so eventually, the world started to fade around him, reduced to just the sound of Piper’s breaths, until finally, those went, too.
~~~~
It would have been kinder, maybe, if Leo had dreamed up some shitty visions promising violent death and/or the end of the world. That would have been business as usual.
Instead, he dreamed of his time on the Argo II—of one of those early nights when the different groups were still getting to know each other, having a brief moment to breathe between their ridiculous tasks and saving the world.
It had seemed reasonable to catch each other up on what had happened on their end. Percy, Hazel and Frank had talked about rescuing Thanatos, and Piper, Jason and Leo had told them what had happened with Hera in turn.
This would have been a boring intel conversation at best, seeing as Leo had been there for all of their part, but they’d grabbed snacks and sat on cushions on the floor and made it a whole bonding activity. Jason had been wedged between Piper and Leo, and they’d taken turns storytelling.
And Jason had bragged. So much. But he hadn’t even had the decency to brag about himself like a normal human being. Instead, he’d talked about how capable Piper and Leo had been, somehow managing to make Leo sound like the coolest person he’d ever met. Which was ridiculous, considering he’d met everyone else on their team.
And sure, Leo made it sound like he thought he was amazing all the time, but he was exaggerating, which everyone, himself included, knew.
Jason didn’t seem to have gotten the memo, though. He had one arm wrapped around Leo the whole evening, and he got all starry-eyed when he talked.
“Leo took on three Cyclopes by himself. Three!”
“Dude, stop!” Leo had laughed, shaking his head. “I know I’m incredible and you’re blessed to be friends with me and stuff, but you weren’t even conscious for that part.”
“Still happened, though.” Jason had beamed at him. “You’re amazing, dude. I would have died about fifteen times on that mission if it hadn’t been for you. You guys should’ve seen him.”
It would have been easier if Leo had thought Jason was just trying to talk him up to the others to make them more willing to trust him after how badly he’d messed up in New Rome, but Jason wasn’t the type. He’d looked like he honestly believed every single word he was saying.
So, of course, Leo had refused to seriously deal with any of the things that made him feel.
“Sorry, Pipes, but I’m pretty sure your boyfriend is in love with me. It’s the fire powers, I’m afraid. I’m just too hot to resist,” Leo had joked instead, and Piper had untangled herself from Jason’s other side to throw Doritos at Leo, and everything had been right in the universe.
~~~~
Waking up from that, blearily blinking himself awake in the car full of moving boxes and remembering… that was a worse punch in the gut than waking up from most nightmares had been. And Leo should know. He’d had so many of those over the years that he was basically a certified nightmare expert at this point.
Leo wanted to go back in time and spend forever in that one evening, living it over and over and over again until the Fates or a temporal paradox or something eventually killed him. He wanted to hold on to what they’d been back then—the three of them together and happy and whole,back before they’d realized what the prophecy really meant.
He wanted to stay wrapped in Jason’s arm and hear him laugh at whatever stupid joke Leo came up with while he and Piper threw snacks at each other like ten year olds. He wanted to believe he could actually be the person Jason was bragging about—this invincible hero that could do just about anything and saved people’s lives.
But Leo had never been that hero. Even his sacrifice had been the selfish decision of a coward who wasn’t ready to die just yet. Jason had been their Superman. The guy who could fly and threw lightning and saved people from falling to their deaths. Jason had been the hero. And ultimately, that had been what killed him.
Leo wasn’t exactly sure what he planned to do once they got to Oklahoma. He should have been heading back to the Waystation, to give Calypso the normal life he’d promised. But he wasn’t thinking about Calypso, or the Waystation, and the thought of a normal life had gone out of the window the second he’d seen the coffin. Besides, the Waystation would mean people asking questions, wanting to know about his mission and asking him to talk about his feelings, and he didn’t want that.
The only thing Leo really wanted to do right now was not think.
By the time they got to the house, it was so late that cross-country dragon flight seemed inadvisable for visibility reasons alone, so Leo agreed to stay the night. Festus nuzzled him for a bit, got a fuel snack from the canister Leo had brought and then folded down into his million pound suitcase form for the night.
It took a little under two hours to carry all the boxes inside, which was an annoying amount of time to be carrying boxes but seemed like an absurdly short amount to move the contents of an entire life.
They spent some time in search of the necessities that needed to be unpacked, but the house was still furnished and also had running water and electricity as of a few days ago, so it wasn’t that bad.
While Piper went in search of some ancient camping gear so Leo wouldn’t have to sleep on the floor—this seemed silly to him, the floor was far from the worst place he’d ever slept—Leo asked Piper’s dad if he could help with dinner.
Tristan looked relieved at his offer, actually. He’d been staring at the assorted vegetables with a slightly lost expression, trying to hack at one of the zucchinis with a butter knife. It seemed like he was trying to remember how cooking worked and had just discovered he had absolutely no idea.
Considering how long he’d been an insanely rich guy with a personal cook, Leo guessed that actually might have been a pretty accurate read on the situation.
“You might want to try a sharper knife,” Leo suggested, which made Piper’s dad look absolutely mortified. “Try not to chop off any of your fingers, though. I think Piper’s been traumatized enough for one week.”
The words were out of his mouth before Leo could think to stop them. Tristan didn’t laugh, but at least it didn’t seem like he’d be tossing Leo out of the house over this. Maybe he realized people sometimes said stupid shit when they were grieving. Maybe Piper had just warned him in advance that Leo was like this sometimes.
Tristan just went to find a different knife, which would have maybe been concerning if he hadn’t gone back to hacking at the vegetables a moment later.
“Well, at least this one is actually cutting through the zucchinis. That’s already an improvement.”
“Yeah, I’m basically a cooking expert,” Leo said with a grin, only half-joking. He went to peel and chop up the carrots, and was done with those and about half the mushrooms by the time the poor zucchini had been hacked to bits.
“You and Piper went to school together, right?” Tristan asked after a while of them quietly chopping vegetables for the casserole, trying to make sense of things with information he didn’t have and that, judging from past evidence, probably would have made his skull crack. “You and her and Jason.”
“Yeah. We went to Wilderness school together.” Leo winced, trying not to think too hard of Jason while also trying to remember the lies they’d already told Piper’s dad. At this rate, he was pretty worried his own skull would crack, too. “Then all three of us switched to a different school. Then I was gone for a while.”
Tristan nodded like this made perfect sense, though he mostly seemed lost in thought. That was a little rude, in Leo’s opinion. If he went through all that effort to remember their elaborate setup of lies, the least Piper’s dad could do was appreciate it!
“I’m glad you’re here now, with everything that’s happened. Piper was really upset when you left,” Tristan said, still with that faraway look in his eyes. “The last few months were hard for her. Between the move and the breakup, she really could have used a friend.”
Leo promptly lost all rights to make fun of Piper’s dad and his vegetable chopping skills because at the word ‘breakup’, the knife slipped and he nearly sliced off two of his fingers.
“Fuck! Ow!” he said eloquently, trying to avoid bleeding all over the cutting board in his attempt to get to the sink. “Jason and Piper broke up?”
The question sounded absurd even to his own ears. Why would Jason and Piper break up? They’d been happy together.
Surely, Piper’s dad had to be talking about something else.
To Leo’s shock, Tristan nodded.
“A while ago, yes,” he said, but he didn’t go into details—possibly because Leo was bleeding all over the sink. “We should bandage that. Do you think you need stitches?”
“No, the cuts aren’t that deep,” Leo decided, turning on the faucet and holding his bleeding hand under the stream of cold water. Maybe he should have been more concerned about the injury, but his mind was still whirring at the thought of his best friends breaking up. Unfortunately, the cold water stung like hell. He hissed with pain. “Sorry for making your kitchen look like a crime scene right after moving in. Usually, I at least have the decency to wait a day or two.”
Because the house was a small, cozy place and Leo had not had the decency to curse quietly, Piper appeared in the doorway a moment later, an alarmed expression on her face.
“What happened?”
“I’ve been bested by a stupid potato,” Leo cursed, holding up his bleeding hand and wiggling his fingers for emphasis. He figured out immediately that this was a mistake. “Ow.”
“Stop that, dumbass!” Piper cursed, moving to stand beside him. “Sink was the right call, but you need to use soap or the cuts could get infected. Dad, any chance we have gauze lying around somewhere?”
Tristan didn’t seem to question why his daughter had immediately jumped into emergency medical treatment mode. He just abandoned the cutting board and headed for the front door.
“Not exactly sure what box our regular medical supplies are in, but I’ll get the first aid kit from the car. I’ll be right back.”
“Do we have to do the soap?” Leo whined, because fuck, that stung, but Piper nodded with a scary expression on her face, so he complied. “How do you even know this stuff? Are we sure you’re not secretly an Apollo kid?”
“I know this stuff because I’m friends with a bunch of morons who have zero sense of self-preservation,” Piper cursed, gritting her teeth. “You shouldn’t be around knives when you’re this distracted.”
“I can usually cook just fine when I’m distracted. Your dad was the one who told me you and Jason broke up in the middle of this stupid potato,” Leo said defensively. “Is that the Mist messing with him?”
That was the only explanation his mind had supplied so far that made any sense to him.
Piper shook her head. “We really did break up. That was a few months ago.”
Leo felt his jaw hit the floor.
“What the hell happened? You were together for ages. I thought- you always seemed so happy.”
“I know, but-” Piper broke off abruptly when her dad came back inside with the first aid kit. Demigod stuff, then?
Leo’s mind was racing. The breakup was a completely stupid thing to focus on, considering everything that had happened in the last few days. He knew that.
But it was easier to try and make sense of this than it was to try and make sense of the fact that Jason was gone and he’d never get to see him again.
“Is it alright if we do this somewhere else?” Piper asked her dad, taking the first aid kit from him.
“Of course. It might be easier to patch him up when you’re both sitting down, anyway.” He turned towards Leo. “Thank you for your help, but I think I can take it from here.”
Leo sent a silent prayer to whichever deity was responsible for protecting vegetables—Demeter, probably?—and gave what he hoped was an encouraging thumbs up with his uninjured hand before he followed Piper into the hallway to presumably be reprimanded some more.
~~~~ They ended up sitting on an old bed that looked like it had lived a long, miserable life and was excited for retirement, but the wooden frame thankfully didn’t break down under the weight of the new mattress or the additional weight of them sitting on said mattress. Piper explained that this had been her dad’s room when he’d lived here as a child, and that it would probably become her room now. Then she went very quiet and focused on bandaging his hand, clearly avoiding looking at him.
“It wasn’t because of me, was it?” Leo asked. The thought made him feel ill. “Please tell me it wasn’t something like, I don’t know, you two being unable to stand being around each other after what happened to me. I think I’d actually have to blow myself up again if it was.”
He tried to make it sound like a joke, but it didn’t feel like one at all. The thought that he'd managed to ruin his best friends’ relationship on top of everything else made it hard to breathe.
When Piper shook her head, it felt like a whole boulder was lifted off his shoulders.
“I actually think we would have broken up sooner if you hadn’t gone missing. We leaned on each other a lot after you disappeared. It wasn’t until we realized we wouldn’t find you and things started to settle down a little that I had time to think. And when I did…” Her voice went very quiet, and she still didn’t look up at him. “I realized I wasn’t happy in the relationship. I don’t think I ever was.”
“How did I not know that?” Leo wondered quietly. “I just… you two seemed happy to me. What kind of garbage best friend am I?”
Piper shook her head. “It isn’t your fault. I was telling myself I was happy for a long time. It’s almost- sometimes I wonder if I was charmspeaking myself. That maybe I kept saying I was in love with Jason until I convinced myself I actually was. And with Hera and my mom setting it up… I love-” her voice caught in her throat, and Leo felt like maybe he needed to throw up, “-loved Jason, but not like that.”
“Pipes, I’m really sorry.” Leo squeezed her shoulder. “That sounds like it was super hard for both of you.” Leo felt awful about the fact that he hadn’t even been around to comfort either of them, but it wasn’t like he could fix it now. It was just another item on Leo’s unending list of epic screwups he’d never be able to make up for.
“Jason was… well, he took it exactly like I expected him to. He was surprised, but he didn’t get angry or anything. He mostly seemed okay. Part of me wonders if maybe…” But whatever Piper had been thinking about, she seemed to decide it wasn’t important. “It was hard to get a proper read on him, and as nice as he was about it, things were still super awkward after. I'm terrified he died thinking I didn’t care about him.”
And then she was tearing up again, and Leo thought he would shatter if she cried.
“He knew you cared,” he said as earnestly as he could manage, pulling Piper to his chest again. “You love way too annoyingly for him not to have known. Hell, even I know you love me, and we both know I’m a fucking nightmare when it comes to this stuff.”
“I missed you so much,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around his back like it was the easiest thing in the world.
“Oh, I’m about to make you regret saying that,” Leo said, forcing himself to smile. “I’ll bring it up each and every time you say you find something I do annoying.”
“You’re annoying as hell, but you’re still my best friend.” He could feel her tears dripping onto his shoulder, and he knew that would make him start up again too. “I don’t know how I’d do this without you.”
And well, passing away from dehydration after crying too much would be a really lame way to die the second time, but everything was just too much right now, so if that was how he went, Leo wasn’t sure anyone could blame him.
~~~~
For the next couple of weeks, Leo stayed.
Helping Piper and her dad unpack was the perfect way to keep himself occupied and not have to think. Usually, a mundane task like this probably would have driven Leo nuts. But right now, it was a bit of a godsend—if not literally, at least figuratively. Being productive was always so much easier when it was done in order to avoid something you wanted to do even less. There was a reason his spaces in the foster homes had only ever been tidy when he had exams coming up.
He helped cook, too, and Piper’s dad became increasingly less garbage at it the longer this went on—like muscle memory was finally kicking in after years of disuse.
It was mostly good—listening to Piper reminisce about trips she’d taken with her dad and where she’d gotten the weird variety of items she kept in her room. When they weren’t unpacking, Leo and Piper played video games or watched movies or explored the area. Twice, during the night, they took Festus on a little flight to a nearby fast food place. Finding a parking spot was a bit of a nightmare, unfortunately. Leo would submit a complaint about their inability to accommodate celestial bronze dragons the first chance he got.
The first time they tried hiking—Leo didn’t even like hiking, he’d spent enough time outside for several lifetimes, why did he do this to himself—they got hopelessly lost in the woods, and of course, due to demigod bullshit, neither of them had brought a phone, so Google Maps wasn’t an option. It was probably for the better. The last thing that situation needed on top of them being lost was a monster attack.
They were already jokingly planning out their new life in the woods when, thankfully, a girl their age came to their rescue.
“A human being! Thank the gods. The squirrels weren’t talking to us,” Leo greeted her, which had Piper shout “Please ignore Leo!” loudly from the branches of the tree she’d been climbing.
The girl lifted her head, spotted Piper and promptly burst out laughing.
“What in the world are you doing up there?”
“Trying to get a better vantage point,” Piper sighed, making her way back down the tree. “We’re hopelessly lost.”
“Well, nice to meet you, hopelessly lost. I’m Shel,” the girl said, still grinning. Leo decided immediately that he liked her.
Piper had almost made it back down when she somehow missed a branch and fell the rest of the way. In comedic movie fashion, Shel moved before Leo had the chance to and caught her mid-tumble. “That was a bit of a dramatic way to get my attention, but you’re cute, so I’ll allow it.”
“Oh yeah, Piper’s got a bit of a thing with falling for people that way,” Leo commented, and Piper gave him her most murderous look while she got back on her feet.
“You guys need help getting back?”
“Please, yes,” Piper said immediately. “It turns out we’re both garbage with maps.”
“Maybe you just need a tour guide next time,” Shel suggested, winking at Piper, whose face turned scarlet. Leo wasn’t even mad about being the third wheel for once. He’d give her so much shit about this later.
And he did. And then Piper properly came out to him—no label or anything, mostly as extremely confused but sure she liked girls, which also made a few additional pieces click into place regarding her breakup with Jason. She ended her anxiety-riddled explanation by thanking Leo for being so normal and annoying about all this.
Which was how Leo realized he’d apparently never told Piper he was bi.
Or maybe he had, and it had gotten lost along with their other memories of Wilderness. Stupid memory-stealing babysitters.
Well, at least they got to hug about it now.
~~~~
It was strange how normal some days felt when nothing would ever truly be normal again. When in every moment Leo and Piper spent together, the gaping hole that had been ripped into their trio was so blatantly obvious.
The benefit and problem of this friendship was that Leo and Piper were both experts at not talking about things they were struggling with.
This wasn’t exactly news. From what little Leo did remember of Wilderness School, they’d spent months not talking about his mom, or about the fact that Piper’s dad kept canceling their weekend plans. They’d both known there were things left unsaid, but as long as they’d been able to cheer each other up, that hadn’t really mattered. It made sense, honestly. Put two people who hadn’t had a shoulder to cry on for ages in a room together and see what happens!
Right now, this meant they were expertly ignoring the box of belongings Piper had picked up from Jason’s school. It had been pushed so far under the bed during that first night that it was no longer visible, and neither of them made any effort to move it out of its new home since. They ignored the topic of Jason, period, until it inevitably hit them in the face again.
It was mostly dumb shit that set them off. Piper automatically reaching for vanilla ice cream at the grocery store because it was Jason’s favorite—seriously, who in their right mind even liked vanilla ice cream?
Sometimes, Leo would make a joke and burst into tears instead of laughing because he knew it would have cracked Jason up. They found old photos unpacking. One time, Piper’s dad suggested they make tacos and they started simultaneously bawling their eyes out.
Leo had spent a long time exactly like this—pretending everything was normal and okay when it wasn’t either of those things until he inevitably broke down. Then he’d started to actually feel sort of okay whenever he was with Jason and Piper. Now, he was sure he would spend the rest of his life pretending.
His appetite was too used to being stuck in survival mode for him to bow to nausea for long, so he went back to eating properly after a few days. He still cried himself to sleep most nights. He kept dreaming about Jason. The memories wrapped themselves around him like a safety blanket that he knew would get ripped away again in the morning. He always woke up feeling empty. Sometimes, he wished he could just go to sleep and never wake up again.
But other than that, it was mostly good.
Then demigod communications went back up, and everything went to hell.
———
Chapter notes:
Fun fact! I originally planned for this chapter (as well as the next few chapters) to just be backstory in my head and for me to maybe do a flashback or two. Unfortunately for me, Piper McLean waltzed into the room and refused to leave.
I do actually think the fic works better this way, but it will take a second to get to the plot! Hopefully you’ll enjoy the whole journey :)
I may not be able to have Leo and Piper go to Jason’s funeral without seriously messing with the plot of Tyrant’s Tomb, but I could at least pick the most evil reason possible for them not to go!
Side note: I sort of forgot that Hedge and Mellie were supposed to be here according to TBM, but by the time I remembered I already had this chapter written out and, as someone who cannot be bothered to figure out how to write them, I decided to just leave it. ToA is vaguely canon to this universe, but only for the most part. Some details are inaccurate, and I think that’s okay.
Anyway, thank you so much for reading! Comments and reblogs super, super appreciated as always!!
List of people that at some point asked to be tagged when I post this: @poppitron360 @ginnyluna @keefessketchbook (feel free to comment if you want to get taken off or be put on the tag list for future chapters!)
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I had a dream that Phil joined another smp and we eneded up getting more q!Phil lore and now that I woke up I'm lamenting it's not real ;;;;
Bits I remember is him reaching the End with someone else through almost a glitch? Like they were leaving the nether just as a ghast tried exploding the portal and it took them theyre. But like Phil finds a message for him in there? With a green feather in it.
So he follows the message and finds a secret base in the Overworld where he runs into Chay and Lullah???? But as if theyd hatched and became proper players. And it seems fine cause it's Sunmin and Ama voicing them but Phil feels a bit wary (and theres a point where "Lullah" makes a joke in portuguese instead of spanish and Phil corrects her) so the vibes are that it's something mimicking them or straight up hallucinations.
And after he leaves we get revealed that he's still somewhat possesed by the Ender King???? As in the jerk figured out a way to do the more subtle possesion and just influencing Phil and making him forget chunks of time where he was more in control.
I was gonna get villain Phil in my dream and now i'll never know how it goes ;;;;;;
Holy shit that's sick??? Omg???
Allow me to take thos and run for a moment, imagine with me real quick:
My personal belief is that person he went to the Nether/End with was Fit or Etoiles. Or maybe Pierre. Those are largely the people he'd break shit with.
I fuck SO HARD with "Ender King never fully left Phil's body, he left a shred of himself in him Just In Case and it's undetectable (for now)."
I don't know why I'm so stuck on the green feather. Like... Who or what could that be? Idk why I'm so hooked on it, something about that is just so compelling but I've got nothing as to how to run with it. Though for him to find the feather with the message and then find the kids hatched,,, Idk, maybe Chayanne has feathery wings that are green (bc you KNOW Lullah's would be purple).
Also possibly fake Chayanne and Lullah ooouuuuhhhh... Consider: It IS them but that shred of Ender King is amplifying Phil's already usually easy-to-trigger paranoia. Not to mention we don't know how long after QSMP this is, the kids could have plenty of time to change and learn. It'd make sense that Lullah would want to carry on her memory of the Brazilians by learning Portuguese and even if not that, it's not unreasonable to say that During QSMP she could've picked up plenty of Portuguese things from the Brazilians themselves. It's just that Phil has never heard (or perhaps doesn't remember ;D) her making such references.
This is post-QSMP ending since you said it was a new SMP. This is post Death Family finale. As far as Phil knows, his kids are either dead, asleep forever, or hatched into crows back home in Hardcore. How could they have left there to hatch? It's too good to be true. He refuses to believe it's them (at first) because he doesn't want to get his hopes up. He doesn't want to reopen that wound, it's not even closed yet in the first place!
AND THE SPICE OF HIM STILL BEING PARTIALLY POSSESSED. THE KIDS NOT KNOWING YET AND HAVING TO REALIZE IN REAL TIME AND HAVE THE HORROR DAWN ON THEM. AUGH. Like when they see him for the first time, it's SO CLEAR he's doing TERRIBLE and not even just because of the partial possession.
He hasn't been readjusting well to being alone in Hardcore again. He's disheveled, he clearly hasn't been sleeping well, he's closed off, standoffish, a little cold. Not the warm, chill, smiley father still fresh in their minds. He's resistant to making new friendships on this new SMP because he hasn't overcome the pain of saying goodbye in QSMP and is he Hyperaware that eventually he'll have to say goodbye again here and he Does Not Want To. He is just Not doing well mentally and you can physically see it when you look at him.
The fucking spice of the kids not being around to be vigilant and catch that shred of EK sooner, the fact that Phil's been in such a bad state that EK has just been free to fester inside him. And you KNOW the kids would blame themselves for not being around to be vigilant.
Phil doesn't know EK is still hiding in his body yet, he doesn't Know what's festering inside of him, and it's actually hard to say if he'd do anything about it if he Did know because he's so depressed and hurt, he's still grieving. After all, in canon, Phil was very upfront with the kids post-possession that if anything ever happened to them again, he'd give up and just let EK take him.
But I bet you Chayanne and Lullah would remember him saying that as soon as they clock that there's a shred of EK lurking in their dad. And they'd be TERRIFIED that it's on the verge of becoming a reality.
Dude your dream is COOKING, even without me taking it and stretching it out like this. I'm going insane. /pos
#qsmp#philza#qsmp philza#q!philza#chayanne the egg#qsmp chayanne#qsmp lullah#lullah the egg#chayanne and lullah#death family#qsmp death family#Isa's Crow Shitposts#Isa's QSMP Shitposts
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