Tumgik
#i had a terrible day dont judge me
pardonmydelays · 11 months
Text
heyyy guess what
Tumblr media
14 notes · View notes
svbhuman · 6 months
Text
idk man. i should be humble and whatnot but i have to defend myself
#strrambles#ok first we can all agree i had noble intentions yeah?#right then. did i do plenty things wrong? well no#my only mistakes i argue were pushing my responsibility onto jakob#and letting narzissenkreuz take over#first of all carter was fully justified. he was in full agreement. we had appropriate intentions.#and i regret it? mm maybe. without him we couldnt have continued our research.#(and here i must say people look back on these actions with a lens from the present. they judge us because they know the archon would#save the day. but we didnt know that.)#the foundation of the ordo was once again justified. we were open with our ideas#we showed them the revelations. which were accurate at that time#and offered a utilitarian method that would allow us to preserve everyone#we were open with the idea#and they joined.#we knew only how to dissolve and merge#and were aiming for a solution after the mass dissolutions#which im sure we could have achieved and as a result reseparated post disaster#though i guess i cant speak of what ifs here#but look those were the intentions and none were: hey lets live in a hivemind forever!#that being said#my major mistake was dissolving myself#i know ascension in that way requires you to strip all psyche and ego and the freud shit#but i overlooked just how unethical narzissenkreuz would be without those things#and arghghgg. i dont know man. though narz isnt me because i die with my psyche#i have an obligation over my creation#and he — or they — messed things up badly.#and yeah by that dissolution i also indirectly caused my own brother to take such a dark route#the lengths he went to just to revive me was. frankly very cool of him. in my lens. but also terrible for himself and terrible for everyone#else. like if id just held off on that dissolving part and let myself figure things out for a bit longer#if my dissolution even WORKED in the first place
0 notes
first-pass · 8 months
Text
I know he was sedated, but to me he died right then. Because that's not what he looks like when he's asleep.
#had to put my cat down earlier today#having a lot of thoughts and feelings about it as youd expect#hated that i didnt get to be there for his actual death because his veins were too small for the catheter thing so they had to use a kidney#stick and didnt want us back there#so they sedated him and then took him back#hated that. not their fault but hated it#hated that my mom kept trying to reassure herself he had a good life#i think my problem was actually that she kept doingnit outloud#who am i to judge how someone greives but who are you to impair my own process etc#if im to make compromise why are you not to do the same#i didnt like that he was cold. that was part of the issue his blood pressure was so low#his little paws ans ears were cold#he can die if he needs to but i dont want him to be cold like what a fucking#what a fucking#i dont know. how terrible to be uncomfortable while youre saying goodbye#i spent most of the day chasing sunbeams so that he could lay in my lap and be warm because my body temp wasnt enough to warm him up#and when they sedated him they just had him laying on his stomach and one of his paws was out in a way i knew he would have adjusted and his#tail was hanging off the table and he wouldnt have liked that either and it just made me so mad#because hes not comfortable and no one fixed it and#two very small things but thats whats sticking with me right now#im angry its winter and he was cold and he was sleeping uncomfortably#im not angry he died. im sad but he was 18 years old#and thats not really anyones fault#especially not his#my speaking tag#i think ppl generally tag stuff like this 'delete later' but i hate deleting things so uh#woe. cat feelings be upon ye#also am i well adjusted or am i repressing OR secret third option am i autistic#questions the world will never have an answer to.
0 notes
Text
but daddy i love him! // theodore nott x fem granger reader
playlist : but daddy i love him - taylor swift
summary : being hermiones slightly younger , less intelligant and more reblellious sister, it is your duty to have a boyfriend no one approves of to match.
y/n used , gryffindor granger reader , swearing
masterlist PART 2!
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
"merlin hes so hot" you whined with you head in your hand , staring across the hall at theodore nott.
hermione shuddered in disgust , "yeah and hes a terrible person."
"mione hes really not , just because hes slytherin doesnt mean hes some kind of horrific monster," you rolled your eyes , finally looking away from theodore and looking at hermione across from you.
"dont mix your delusion with reality y/n. him and his friends have bullied us since first year," hermione snapped back.
"whos us? ive never been teased by him before but stay safe i guess," you argued , getting more annoyed by the second.
"you cant be with him y/n , not only does he not do relationships , clearly , hes not good for you!"
"oh but daddy i love him!" you said in a mocking childish tone.
"did you just call hermione daddy?" ron cringed inbetween his quick eating.
"its a little mermaid reference ronald." you said sternly , judging the boys messy consumption of the food on his full plate.
"whats a little mermaid reference?" he mocked.
you, hermione and harry all looked at him with pure shock , forgetting ron wasnt really accustomed to muggle films , "please educate your man mione."
she gasped in pure horror as ron pretened to gag , they both argued over eachother throwing loud defenses and digs at eachother.
"look! i would actually rather die than listen to one more second of all this bitching and moaning!!" you shouted over them , silencing their arguing as harry nodded along with your statement.
"y/n i dont mean to stir the pot but i dont really think nott is a great partner either," ron said with disgust.
"thanks for that ron! wanna add your two cents harry? seems like everyone cares who i have silly crushes on nowadays!" you fumed , turning to the twins who sat on the table besides you , "good morning george , fred, would you like to give your opinion on theodore nott?"
"hate him," fred stated plainly.
"i always target him in quidditch," george quickly followed with a shrug as you let out a defeated groan.
you turned back to the trio , crossing your arms in anger , "im going to go see ginny , see what she thinks of all this , she always supports me unlike you little goblins!"
"yeah cause ginny has a crush on basically every guy," ron scoffed.
"atleast ginny can admit when she has feeling for someone and doesnt pine on her best friend for years! atleast she isnt in denail!" you said smugly as hermione and ron squirmed in discomfort , blushing.
you abruptly stood up from the table , beginning to stomp away when harry shouted after you , "have a great day mrs nott!"
you turned to look at him , flipping him off before shouting back , "aw you too mr weasley!".
harry blushed as ron looked between the two of you , "shes insane , calling you weasley , what weasley could you possibly marry!"
ron scoffed and continued eating his food as harry scratched the back of his neck awkwardly and exchanged a look with hermione.
---
you now found yourself storming the corridors , looking for ginny when someone fell into step besides you , their deep voice making you shudder.
"hello mrs nott."
you stopped in you tracks and looked besides you in horror , theodore smirked down at you.
"erm hi," you mumbled quietly , face deep red in embarrassment. how could you forget the whole time that theodore had been sat with his friends on the table across from you?!
"dont go all shy on me now , i liked how you defended me." he smirked.
"i was really just joking dont get excited ," you teased , finally shaking your shyness.
"didnt sound like a joke to me? you got really worked up granger," he still held his smug expression , eyes peircing yours even when you didnt look back.
"look nott , i just like picking fights with them its funny to tease them." you shrugged continuing your walk as theodore followed still looking at you the whole time.
"go out with me," he said sternly as you paused again.
"are you being serious?" you said trying to seem not as interested as you truly were.
he grabbed your hand and pulled you to the empty classroom besides you , pushing you against the door to shut it.
he put one hand beside your head on the door and the other playing with your hair and grazing your cheekbone , "dead serious."
you looked at him , finally silent for the first time in your life , your silence allowing him to continue , "you can say you dont like me all you want. that its jokes , that its just to get a reaction. but i think we both know its more than that."
"im not gonna be one of your girls nott , im not like that. sure i have a different type to my sister but that doesnt mean i go for fucking man whores who just wanna get me in their bed."
"ouch , your words hurt me, bella. ive never touched a single girl asides from you. ive waited for you." he said softly.
"basically every person in this school says otherwise nott."
his hand that was resting on the door cleched into a first tightly , "stop calling me nott. its theo to you."
"why do you care?" you asked as his frustration grew.
he stared at you now with cold eyes , danger in them like he was staring at his prey. you simply looked back , folding you arms and watching as his eyes flicked down your face.
"dont play hard to get. you practically announced your love for me a second ago y/n." he mumbled.
"sure. ill go out with you, charity work." you joked as he finally dropped his anger and laughed.
"i like it by the way," he said looking up with a smirk as you stared back with confusion , " 'mrs nott,' it suits you."
"hm i dont know. ive always been kinda progressive , mr granger," you smirked before pushing him away with one hand and walking out of the classroom, leaving him to stare at your figure.
the second you found ginny you practically screamed in her face with excitement , "ginnny you will not BELIEVE IT!!"
PART 2
2K notes · View notes
azsazz · 1 month
Text
Over Ice
Hockey!Rhysand x Reader
Summary: Anon Req: I think we could really have fun with the different courts and Illyrian values on a thematic basis but ALSO if the reader is in something very artsy and hasn’t really been into sports and then she’s walking around Campus and BOOM right smack dab into Broody McBrooder!! She THEN finds out he’s the tutor for one of her hardest courses (personally Psych would be a good one) and they become super duper close with him and the team!!! She decides to wear Cass’ jersey to make him mad and when he finally gets a hold of her after the game: *cue innocent shrug* he asked me to!
Warnings: None.
Word Count: 3032
Notes: While I work on a plot for an azzy hockey x figure skater au, please enjoy a rhys hockey au 🤪
This was originally an Az idea but I thought it fit better for Rhys bby so here we are. I feel like I've forgotten how to write and this is shit (dont judge me im going thru smthin rn)
_________________________________________
A giant FU stares up at you.
Well, actually, it’s only an F, but it may as well be the former with the way it’s circled in thick, red ink.
Three. Fucking. Times.
Tears sting the back of your eyes but you refuse to let them fall. It never feels good, failing, and even if you’d gotten a C+ like you hoped, you would’ve still beaten yourself up over the grade because plain and simple: that’s who you are.
Two months ago, at the beginning of the semester, psychology had seemed like a breeze. The lectures were easy to listen to and intriguing, and you had no trouble following along with the professors’ slideshows as you took detailed notes of everything on the screen. Your assigned readings were completed in a similar state, though they weren’t graded but included important information you’d find on the tests.
Somewhere along the line, your grade slipped, and you don’t remember if it had been between studying for Biology or reveling in your newfound freedom away from your parents, partying and enjoying a true college experience with your roommates.
Whatever happened, the repercussions are hitting you right in the face, the taunting letter you have never seen before on any of your assignments throughout all your years of learning.
If your parents saw this, they would bring the entire house down with their scolding.
It’s not like you didn’t try. You studied, even if the word is a loose term for what material you used. Things started piling up this month, with it being a new semester and all. You didn’t schedule out the time to focus on psychology when the classes you were really interested in—Introduction to Nutrition and Kinesiology—took first and second place for your attention. Plus, with the number of social events your best friends—who are also conveniently your roommates—invited you too, it was almost impossible to say no. Friends are a vital part of the college experience and you were in desperate need of some fun after having spent the summer lounging at home with your parents.
You found a psych support group that met at the library once a week to study together. It wasn’t anything like you thought it would be, a bunch of clueless students with grades similar to yours. All they seemed to want to do with your precious time was bitch and moan about the professor instead of actually trying to conquer the areas of study for the upcoming test.
And now the consequences of your actions have made themselves known.
Grumbling, you shove the test into your binder before shutting it with a snap that does nothing to ease your frustration. A few students still trail from the room, though most bolted right after being released. Some linger at the bottom of the lecture hall where the professor sits, answering their questions.
You have about a million-and-one of your own but you’re too worked up about your grade to go down there and hash it out with Mr. Hybern. His peppery colored hair is perfectly coiffed on this terrible day, his beard trimmed close to his jowls. His gleaming, golden skin makes you think that maybe he’d spent his weekend grading tests out in the sun, and you have half a mind to stomp your way down the stairs and demand a second review of your test.
It wouldn’t solve your irritation, and it would certainly be embarrassing if in fact your F is correct.
Placing your binder, notebook, and pens back into your bag, you zip it, sling it over your shoulder, and make your way to the exit, holding your chin high because if there’s one thing you’re not going to do, is cry over your terrible, awful grade in public.
The waterworks will just have to wait until you’re locked in your private bedroom in your shared dorm.
There is good news. It’s Friday, which means you can snag the pint of your favorite ice cream that your roommates won’t dare touch because ‘no ice cream that’s worth it should have fruit in it, that’s like asking for a steak on your spaghetti.’ You have no idea what Mor—one of your roommates—was on about when she brought up the awful comparison, and in reply all you’d done is scooped out a chunk of cherries embedded into the creamy, pink goodness and stuffed it into your mouth.
With it being the weekend, you can also wallow well into the night without having to worry about hiding your puffy eyes in the morning. You’ll have all day tomorrow to figure out a plan of action, once you allow yourself the time to properly grieve and process…and maybe have a drink or two.
You shoulder through the heavy lecture hall door with your head down, hiding the red stain to your cheeks. So, maybe you’re not going to hold you head high as you trail back to your dorm, but you will not cry.
The door swings open and you barely catch the noise of surprise before you’re barreling into something that’s akin to a brick wall. Your breath leaves your body in a whoosh and your balance slips out from under you, arms flailing as you fall.
You squeeze your eyes shut, bracing for impact, but it never comes.
Slowly, mortified because you know exactly what’s cushioned your fall, you peek your eyes open, carefully meeting a sapphire gaze that surely would take your breath away should you have any left.
This close, you can see the perfection of his angular features: a long, straight nose, high cheekbones under the dusting of pink that caresses his own face. His lashes are dark as charcoal, the same color of his hair that looks as soft as silk.
Whatever it is that has you entranced by his beauty, the sentiment seems to be mutual. Those bright eyes trace across your features, carefully drinking you in. You don’t know if you’re thankful that your face is already as red as the marker on your test or if you want him to see the way your cheeks go molten.
There’s a warmth against your hips that you don’t notice until he speaks, his hands that have a solid grip around you, keeping you steady to his chest. His whispered breath brushes across your lips. “By all means,” he teases softly, “Take your time.”
“Oh, my Gods, I am so sorry,” you squeak, rolling off his chest. You can hear his chuckling as you scramble to climb to your feet, but your knees are so weak at the sight—and touch—of the most handsome man you’ve ever seen lifting gracefully to his feet, holding a hand down to help you up.
You try not to notice just how big his hand is in yours, and for the second time today, you fail.
“Don’t worry about it, darling,” he says, displaying an easy grin that makes your heart stutter in your chest. The door opens with a loud click and the both of you startle. His hand comes down warmly on your spine, ushering you out of the way of the student that’s beaming grin falters into apology at the idea of almost running you down, already on the phone with someone and gushing over their test result.
It’s hard to reign in your glare.
The student’s conversation seems to jolt the man out of his stupor. He blinks, shaking his head as if to rid him of a spell you might have cast on him, or maybe he’s testing to see if he has a concussion from the fall.
When he returns his attention to you, it takes everything in your power not to melt into a puddle beneath that gaze.
“Is Mr. H still passing out tests?” he asks, and you swallow the sourness that accompanies the name of your professor. You and he are not on good terms right now, not that this boy knows that.
“Yeah,” you answer, remembering you saw him sitting on his throne (desk chair) with his loyal citizens (students) kissing his feet (talking through their tests). “I think so.” Then, because you’re pretty sure you would remember a face like his if he were in your lecture, you ask, “Are you in this class?”
“No,” he answers with a scoff that tells you he breezed by this class. “I took Psych 101 freshman year, but I have Professor Hybern again for Cognitive Psychology and I need to turn in my paper early.”
Turning in a paper early? What is he, some kind of genius?
“Oh,” you answer lamely, “Cool.”
His answering grin cracks open the casing of the butterflies you didn’t know were living in your stomach, taking off in a flurry of emotion.
He shrugs like he couldn’t really care less about any of it, but to you, the fact that he’s managed to pass Psych 101 at all is an impressive feat, though you don’t know why he’d sign up for even more torture. “Sure. Look, I’ve got to run, but are you sure you’re okay?”
It’s nice of him to ask if you’re okay when he’s the one who had his back painted to the floor only moments ago. “Yeah, I’m fine, but I should be the one asking you that. Are you okay?”
His laughter is rich and warm, and you want to melt into it. Before you have the chance to make even more a fool of yourself in front of this handsome stranger, he answers. “I’ve been checked harder, darling. You have a nice day now.”
“Thanks, you too,” your words trail off as he catches the door on its next outswing, ducking inside without waiting for your response.
Jeeze, he must really be in a rush, then.
It’s when you exit the doors to the psychology building that you curse yourself. You should’ve gotten his number, his name at least. You could’ve invited him over for something more distracting and yummier than the ice cream you’d planned on demolishing.
At least you have something better to think about tonight than your test.
Tumblr media
With a heavy sigh, you allow your backpack to fall off your shoulder. Now that you’ve arrived back to your dorm, you’re suddenly feeling more exhausted than ever.
The walk home from class had been nice, your time spent thinking about the boy you’d run into. The broadness of his shoulders you didn’t seem to notice until he turned away, stretching wide beneath his tight t-shirt. The bulge of his biceps beneath said t-shirt, flexing as he pulled the door open for himself. The shape of his ass in those snug jeans.
The sight of that is what had your eyes nearly popping from your head. What’s he doing that gives him such a bubblicious ass? Squats? Lunges? You can do those. You choose not to, but if there’s a guarantee that you’d have an ass like that, you’d start right this second.
Tucking your lip into your mouth in concentration, you plant your hands on your hips, making your way to the refrigerator that your ice cream is housed in, lunging your way there.
It’s not that far, the communal space in your shared dorm is small, but your heartrate is elevated by the time you’re two lunges away from your prize: your ice cream.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“Mother!” You shout as the voice of your roommate breaks your concentration. Your knees wobble and your thighs shake, unable to hold you up from the burst of exertion you used. You clearly need to get into the gym more, another thing to add to your already busy schedule. “You scared me!”
Mor rolls her chocolate-brown eyes, sliding into one of the stools at your counter. It’s not built for it, the laminate countertop doesn’t hang over the island far enough for your legs to fit, but you and your roommates thought they were cute, nonetheless. You can suffer having to hunch over your knees to reach your cereal bowls in the mornings in favor of having more space for company to sit.
When you haul yourself off the ground, you take in your roommate. She’s wearing some kind of jersey, one you’ve never even seen in her wardrobe before, and you probably spend more time in there than her because she has every item of clothing you could ever imagine. The top she’s wearing now totally clashes with everything that screams Mor: silk scarves, tight bodice tops, leather pants, and what she has on now isn’t even red, a color that’s a staple in her closet.
“Well, if you were paying attention,” she scolds playfully, flipping open the compact in her hand, checking her makeup in the tiny mirror. She makes a few faces that would make you chuckle if you didn’t notice how she looks like she’s ready to go out, and that means she’s going to try to drag you with. “You would’ve heard me walk into the room. I am wearing heels, you know.”
Of course you know. Mor doesn’t do sneakers, only when it’s five in the morning and the sun is still sleeping, the perfect time for working out where nobody will catch her. Maybe I should join her, you think, mind wandering back to that boy’s butt.
“Why are your cheeks all red?” She asks, planting her palms on the counter and leaning towards you, eyes narrowed in inquisition.
“Nothing,” you wave her off, reaching for the door to the freezer. It’s the last thing between you and the cherry chunk ice cream calling your name.
Before you can open it more than an inch, it slams closed, Mor’s sharp, bright red fingernails splayed out to stop you.
Damnit, how does she move so silently?
“What do you think you’re doing?” You question each other at the same time, biting back your smiles at the mistake.
She answers first. “Why do you look like you’re about to get the ice cream, put your pajamas on, and wallow in bed all night?”
“Because that’s exactly what I’m going to do,” you cross your arms over your chest defiantly. “So, if you’ll excuse me…” You trail off, hoping she’ll step away and leave you to your peace.
She doesn’t. That’s not Mor.
“I had a rough day!”
“You say that every day,” she whines, stomping her heel-clad foot. “Don’t you even want to know what I’m inviting you to tonight?”
“From the look of your clothes, no, I don’t want to know what you’re doing tonight, Mor, and no, I don’t want to join you, either.”
Your roommate scrunches her nose, tipping it towards the ceiling. “I’ll have you know that this outfit is cute.”
“Yeah, if the definition of cute changed to ‘not pleasing or appealing to look at.’”
“You take that back,” Mor shouts, full naming you.
As your lips part in apology, because that was rude of you, your other roommate pads out of her room. Her reading glasses are perched up on her nose, blue eyes round and wide, and it always looks like she’s looking around the room in wonder. She has a blanket thrown over her shoulders and looks every bit of cozy you wish you were.
“Gwyn,” you sigh in relief at the sight of her. “Please, help.”
“I already said no,” she offers you a sympathetic wince. “I don’t think there’s any getting you out of the hockey game, sorry babe.”
Now it’s your jaw that falls to the floor. No, it falls through the floor and about five more floors down, hitting the lobby with a crack that echoes through the building.
You whirl on Mor. “Hockey game? Since when have you been interested in hockey?”
“Since my cousin got named team captain this year,” she says smugly, and you don’t know why she’s acting vain, it just means that he’s captain of the douchebags now, even you know that. Mor turns, showing off the back of her jersey. The number one stands out like a beacon, and you brush her blonde hair over her shoulder to read the smaller patches spelling out what is in fact, her family name.
Cunningham.
“Think of all the parties we’ll get into,” she says over her shoulder, and she does have a point there. The athletes at your college are a group of students that you don’t ever interact with, nor do you care. Mor is all about connections though, and if she wants to go to the hockey game, then it looks like you’re going with her.
You wonder what excuse Gwyn used to get out of it. She looks mighty comfy right now, slinking over the plop down on the couch and turn on a movie.
“Why do we have to go to the game? Can’t we just go to the parties?” You ask, grasping for anything to get out of this. You don’t want to go sit in the cold arena and watch a bunch of guys wearing full-body padding slide up and down the ice. Why couldn’t her cousin have been on the baseball team? They have nice, tight uniforms.
“Because,” Mor emphasizes with a glare, spinning to face you once more to give you the full effect of her irritation. “I’m a good cousin, and if we don’t attend the games, we’re going to be blacklisted from the parties,” she grumbles, the fight leaving her a little bit. “I’ve already argued about it with Rhys, I don’t want to have to argue with you too.”
It’s with your sigh that Mor brightens. “Fine. I’ll come with you, but I’m not going to be happy about it. And don’t expect me to cheer.”
Her squeal pierces the sound barrier. What the fuck have you gotten yourself into?
Mor grabs your hand, dragging you towards the empty single room that’s left in your dorm. She uses it as an extension of her closet until someone else gets placed with you. So far, you’ve been lucky, living here since freshman year, just the three of you. “Great! I got you a shirt!”
_________________________________________
Over Ice Taglist:
455 notes · View notes
sporesgalaxy · 4 months
Note
The way Dungeon Meshi does gender makes me insane. It’s stated over and over that Falin and Laios really are more similar than anyone is looking for- Laios directly states as much at one point, Marcille mentions it when Falin wakes up the first time and starts bemoaning not eating any monsters, the magic mirror story even has fem!Toshiro crushing on Laios- but Laios is so protective of his little sister. Laios leaves home to start making a life he can one day share with her. And she leaves magic school because he has failed, and failed so hard that she’s worried that she might never see him again if she lets him leave without her. He wants to protect her from the way the world treats him, but he does not or does not want to understand the terrible truth- the world will never treat her as harshly as it does him, because she is a pretty ‘quirky’ girl and he is a big autistic man. Falin is happy, doing well in her own sphere, making a single friend (because she is still autistic, and has struggles of her own, even if they’re a different kind), but Laios still feels a need to protect her because his experience of this world has been nothing but cold shoulders and distrust all the way down. This story makes me want to sprint into the river. Laios and Falin are the best characters of all time.
Ouhhhhh I dont have time to reread dungeon meshi to give you good sources but based on my doodoo memory and vibes therein: I have to disagree that Falin was necessarily doing "well," and I especially disagree that the tragedy here is that Laios was doing something unnecessary by trying to make a place in the world for him and Falin.
Falin gets along seemingly ok in the world but it's because she's agreeable to a fault .
What's so interesting to me about the Touden siblings is the different ways they've learned to deal with being The Odd Man Out. Laios set out to try and forcefully carve out a PLACE for him and Falin in the world, where they could both openly and unabashedly be themselves.....Falin stayed behind, and learned how to hide the things that made her stick out too much, and how to appease people on the verge of rejecting her and Laios.
That can be functional, but it isn't good. It isn't happiness. It hurts in a million tiny ways every single day, to hide yourself out of fear of rejection like that.
At school, Falin must have spent a lot of time alone before she befriended Marcille, since Falin was familiar enough with the surrounding wilderness that she knew where that small Dungeon opening was. She sought out what happiness she could by following her unusual passions in more private ways, where no one would judge her for it. Falin didn't expect anyone NOT to judge her for her "weirdness" before she met Marcille, so Falin didn't even try to connect with anyone before Marcille at a level more personal than "classmate." That's not doing well. That's not living.
This kind of self-isolation is a coping mechanism for neurodivergence that functions for a while, but it eats away at you. Falin considered marrying Toshiro despite not loving him, essentially because it seemed like the normal thing to do and she didn't think she'd get another chance to be married at all. What if she had gone through with that, or something similar by the same reasoning? Laios lived in a state of being rejected over and over, which obviously hurts like hell. In contrast, Falin was willing to live a life she never wanted just to avoid total rejection. That can be incredibly painful too, in its own way.
Falin and Laios were BOTH tragically fighting doomed battles to find a place for themselves in the world during the time they were separated. Working together, supporting each other, they're able to do a lot more. Cries.
183 notes · View notes
dsaf-confessions · 4 months
Text
important announcement
okay so modred here!!! and i am about to share my total, unbiased, unfiltered and honest thoughts.
i am leaving the blog
yes yes i know i try to act unbothered by everything but its scary how everything changed so fast! did you know i was actually considering sharing my main on here because i thought this place was so chill? safe to say im glad i did not do that.
i've tried to win the idgaf war but the truth is its killing me. im fighting in the idgaf war and im losing. it feels like its been months since it started, but its not even been three weeks. just over two, im pretty sure. its not even been three weeks since i've turned 15 years old!
two days after my 15th birthday this started!! what unfortunate timing. and honestly, ive got exams in less than a month, and i've been so stressed about everything. not just exams, not just internet drama, but like a secret third thing too.
its super scary to admit im being stressed out by all of this considering that there are people whove taken pride in upsetting me and for what crime? they're old posts. i was 14 when i posted them. id apologised. id listened to advice. i'd improved. but all because one day someone decided they didn't like the blog, this entire account collapsed and so did my mental health with it it seemed.
i dont like being honest. i just like to laugh about everything. i know certain people are going to be laughing and proud that they've made me leave this blog while reading this post, and while thats the reason ive been scared to leave this whole time, they're going to do that anyway. they're going to keep hating me. so the least i could do is try to put myself first rather than try to push through it using spite as my motivator.
i know there will likely be people bragging on their accounts that they've made me leave (im aware of what people are saying). and that upsets me. i wont lie. but at the end of the day, if you find yourself being proud of making a newly turned 15 year old leave an account that they once found comfort in, then thats more of a judge of character about you than me.
its scary how people can decide that they don't like you one day and make a post ruining everything, and its scary how people can act comforting to your face and then go ahead and brag about how upset they've made you to someone else, but in the end i cannot control what people say and at the end of the day i can only control what i do and who i surround myself with and thats why im leaving.
im not leaving the discord, or the dsaf fandom at all, but i am getting far away from this blog and blocking everyone who hates me because thats all i can do. all i can request is that if you know who i am, keep it secret. and if you somehow find me, please dont try to talk to me.
i think i'll just talk with my friends and post my silly little art and things without becoming a known name. its the only way to exist in fandom i think.
but wait! this blog wont die!
you see, as you were reading this post with tears in your eyes, i had secretly been assigning not just one, but two new admins for the blog! i trust them to keep it running, but also if you guys treat them terribly i give them full permission to delete this entire account. they need to put themselves first too.
so, my last words to the dsaf confessions blog?
change da world. my final message. goodbye. /ref
uhh just kidding!! final message is: if you dont like this blog, block it. if you dont like me, then we'll leave this here and forget this drama ever happened. dont try to make my past mistakes these guys problems. as soon as i hit post im leaving this blog, so any hate you try to send towards me will not go through to me. you wont even be screaming into the void either, just at some innocent people.
thats all i have to say. ily all!!! /p
-modred
25 notes · View notes
ybetzarts · 10 months
Text
What happens when i post this video with this music?
from IG: Silly animation took me almost 3 hours (did this on a whim, coz i didnt wanna do work hah)...am jus checking if i still remember how to animate hng. Oh pls dont judge my process 😭, it aint the best, i know🤧 (Music used below:)
I studied basic animation in a course once, and we were tasked to create a short film. For a month, i animated EVERY. SINGLE. DAY to get a whole 5-min short film done. Sleep schedule was terrible. I hated the process, but am quite proud of what i produced back then🌟 And of course, it had to be Knuckles💯💥. I am...really lacking in variety on my posts 🤪😅 What i wanna draw atm > variety, i suppose.
youtube
59 notes · View notes
itsraven0v0 · 5 months
Text
YANDERE!KARUSER HCs
Tumblr media
Note: as i said before, im terrible at writing yanderes. its mostly because im not a huge fan of it?! especially with characters i think would never fit in the role and Krauser is one of them. HOWEVER in a different timeline maybe, he'd make one hell of a f*cked up yandere.
i devided this into two sections (pre!javier krauser and post!javier krauser). enjoy~
comments and feedbacks are always appreciated:>
Tumblr media
. PRE!JAVIER KARUSER .
you two met on one of his day offs when he was doing his routine jog and now he is EVERYWHERE!
like you can even see his iconic slicked back blond hair from the corner of your eyes.
you aint getting rid of him, you also aint getting a confrontation either!
i think back then he had more fucks to give so he kinda wanted to play it safe and approach you little by little
but when you where walking home alone one night(ffs dont do that) you got yourself in danger and then boom! this man appears outa nowhere and starts kicking their asses.
well that caught your attention and made you wanna give him a chance. what could go wrong, right?
oh you fool...
you aint getting outa his house anymore.
im pretty sure he has a single cabin in the woods that he has for the day offs he gets, so good luck runnung away.
not that you could if it was an apartment anyway.
this guy will hunt you down and drag u back. you will be his little canary or some shit.
. POST!JAVIER KRAUSER .
oh boy...
unlike the previous version, this man is too tired to give a fuck about playing it safe.
you two met at a bar where he was drowning himself in self-loathing and alcohol.
and as your obsession with military men with scars on their faces (and the alcohol) kicked in, you thought what better than to help him. right?! ahah...
look i aint judging you, thats literally me. ok??
you helped this man get his ass home safe from the bar and guess what? he was drunk and invited u in and u TOOK IT!
you helped him lay down, took his injured hand when he was having nightmares, made him coffee and everything OF COURSE HE WAS GONNA FALL FOR YOU!
your soft hands felt so good on his when he woke up only to see you fallen asleep besides his bed.
you appeared like an angel in his miserable life for a moment and from that morning he gave everything just to have your soothing presence in his life.
but soon this turned into something alarming.
he would confront you all of a sudden like: "be with me."
and if you refuse? well you can't. this man can turn on threatening mode real f*cking quick and this terrifies the sh*t outa you.
he'll keep you like a pet. attend to you good and make sure you are okay and happy but he also thinks the moment you walk outa his door smth is gonna take you away from him so say goodbye to outdoors.
he is so sad please be nice to him...i mean he technically gonna take away all your freedom but did you even have any to begin with?
enjoy you life with him while it lasts. and also enjoy knowing nothing about him. also enjoy meeting Wesker :D
that mf can and WILL pay u a visit just to scare Jack into doing what he's asking of him.
one day you ran away just to find out what he has been doing, who is he and who's that asshole that wears sunglasses indoors. And you saw smth that made you heart race in both fear and attraction(you weird f*ck! dw me too)
there he was testing his las plagas form. all monstrous and bloody. you took a step back in fear and the sound made him spot you. man he was terrified you were gonna run away. but nah!
you into that so you stayed.
you are gonna be so sad when he dies...
you think u can prevent that? try your best!
whooowhi!
thats the most yandere yall are gonna get outa me. hope that satisfied you anon who asked that.
ALSO i might wanna start a second page to write about other stuff [like mortal kombat :D] so i'll share it here too.
24 notes · View notes
heartfucksmouth · 9 months
Text
so my mil def overheard my meltdown yesterday and she's been quiet and meek and I can tell she had been emotional. before she left for work this morning she mentioned it and said if she can do anything to help me be happy living here she'll do it. but like... you wont?? how you act 99% of the time makes me unhappy and uncomfortable and like I'm being judged??
my mom said maybe it's good bc she needs the reminder... but it's exhausting bc my mil needs a reminder every 2 months to stop being a miserable asshole bc she's insecure af (and super trashy conservative White Woman) and it's not my goddamn job to be her mirror or her life coach or whatever the fuck this is
I don't *want* to dislike her, I don't want the stereotypical shitty mil relationship, I don't want to be uncooperative or hard to live with, but I also can't deny the feeling she gives me in my gut. Shea a fucking asshole and she doesn't even know it (or denies it bc she can't confront herself) and like. if she's spent 50 years this way, I'm not holding my breath that she'll change.
she's everything I despise.
she's racist, sexist, ableist, hypocritical, she's inauthentic always, fragile af, she lives her life in fear and speaks incredibly confidently about things she knows nothing about,
shes a hoarder of toilet paper among other things, shes a terrible cook and thinks salting food will give you a heart attack and she cooks meat while it isnt completely thawed so its dry af, she complains about everything and does nothing to change it,
shes self employed and has no financial plan for retirement besides relying on her husband (and son?). she charges us ridiculous rent so we'll never save up and leave, she yells and swears at her dog for doing dog things and uses intimidation to make him behave, she refuses to clean her house "unless someone pays" bc shes a house cleaner for other people,
she moves my shit and we essentially dont have evidence that we exist in the house except in our room (me and myles would have to bring our shower stuff into the bathroom every time until i bought a shower caddy and hung it up without asking), she once threw away myles toothbrush bc she "was sick of looking at it," if anything is wrong or broken or missing its ALWAYS myles fault, she expects myles to bring in the groceries every day even if its one bag,
she'll do all the dishes but leave aidans bottles for me to do, she insists aidan will die if he doesnt wear socks, she sits him in front of the tv and leaves him there, she lets him cry and tells him hes fine while refusing to pick him up to comfort him, she only knows how to make him fall asleep with a bottle and once hes asleep she puts him down, but she's pro-life and tried to use Aidan being born as further proof supporting her belief ..
she's a Trump supporter. STILL. I should have just lead with that. I could go on for a while longer but I'm exhausted.
idk. idk what to do. I'm just going the way I did with my dad and trying to feel nothing for her. I get that she's human and flawed and has her own shit and she's fucked up and insecure but like. I don't care? I don't want to cater to it or live with it or expose my child to it. I feel guilt for it, but I'm not going sacrifice myself to make others comfortable anymore.
I really hate this.
26 notes · View notes
pokemoncenter · 8 months
Note
This may sound like an odd question at first, but it relates to a serious error ive made recently and i feel just terrible about it.
A question from a concerned trainer: Can most pokemon distinguish between an act of carelessness/recklessness against them and an act of intentional ill-will? (specifically, fish pokemon such as feebas/milotic)
Now, for context, the great 'error' ive made is that ive been frankly neglecting the general wellbeing of my best friend, my most beloved loyal companion; my Milotic, Athena. Ive only JUST realized it, and now i feel awful about it :<
You see, in an effort to better myself as a trainer and better understand the native pokemon of my region (I'm from Galar), i have recently been taking up the large task of filling up my pokedex. I have caught many different species of pokemon with my best and most strong of companions, Athena; and she has been nothing but the greatest of pokemon to me. But today a certain unusual behavior of hers made me realize that since taking up this pokedex-quest, i haven't been the trainer she deserves back.
Confession of a selfish trainer:
I had been using her as just a tool, a stepping stone, and not regarding her as the most beautiful and deserving friend as i had been before... We'd go out into the wild area for hours on end each day, battle after battle, never taking a break, never stopping to rest, only me and her, and even only ever healing when she physically could not go on further or without risking her serious harm. But by far the worst thing i did was never allowing her to battle these opponents...
Athena is very strong, and thus even on the toughest of wild area pokemon, even one attack would render them... uncatchable. So i made the same mistake over and over infinitely, of ignoring her, only focused on catching, never attacking, constantly letting her get bombarded with enemy attacks.
It was only when she began acting out against my idiocy- an apathy for battling, a profound distantness, with wavering obedience that had previously *never* faltered- that i realized i was doing something terrible, and doing it to my best friend no less... the worst was when i realized i hadnt had her healed at a proper pokemon center in over a week, despite non-stop battling. I had been using bag items, but those are surely no replacement for centers entirely, right?
Even after going on an amazing camping trip, making her favorite curry, and ensuring to give her my fullest attention whenever she even hinted at wanting it, i still feel like such a bad trainer, and an awful and dirty person, that i dont deserve the position i have, the incredible pokemon i have, their incredible stregth and loyalty...
So i ask one question:
Will/can she ever forgive me? (not that i would have done anything to deserve or be entitled to forgiveness after what i did...)
Sorry for the incredibly long length of this question, but i thought it was important to provide all context i had and get this off my chest.
Anonymous, I mean this in the kindest possible way:
Go to therapy.
I am no psychologist nor psychiatrist. I cannot diagnose anything, nor can I help. But you are displaying here a serious obsessive streak in a frankly worrying manner. To nonstop battle, to the detriment of your bonds with your closest friends, is one thing. But to not notice when over a week has passed in such a situation is extremely abnormal.
In addition- Yes, you messed up. You damaged your bond with your Pokemon. But you should not be asking me for how to repair this bond, or if this bond can be repaired. You should be looking to her. Milotic are intelligent, and can discern the difference between intentional and accidental harm in many ways, but extreme prolonged neglect... Judging from the lengths you have described, you can hardly call it 'unintentional' anymore. She is not sapient or sentient in a human way, but she still has emotions of her own. It is up to you to decide what is best.
And, to be blunt, dumping all of this in the inbox of a total stranger does not speak wonders to your mental state, either.
Go to therapy. Both for yourself, and for Athena.
16 notes · View notes
cowboyjen68 · 1 year
Note
hiii how do i give hints to my dad? cause i have this childhood bestfriend (we've been friends since i was 11-12) and we're rlly close to the point that i always go to his house (and sometimes stay for a bit if me and my parents have some problems) and basically hang out in his bedroom mostly bc we watch movies or study (even tho he just procastinates while i suffer because of math) and after we hang out he basically brings me home which is the reason why my dad thinks we're a thing bc of how much we hang out. but the truth is he already has a girlfriend while I'm here hopelessly crushing on a straight girl from my school's theater club. so how do i give hints to my dad that i am definitely gay af and me and my friend are just close friends? i dont really wanna come out to him and only wanna come out to him once i go to college
I am going to answer this partially from a parent's point of view and partially from my experience of having a parent (Mom) in somewhat of a denial.
You really don't have the correct or tell him anything until you are ready. As a parent I see signs of stuff in my kids all the time. I can address those things, let them go or completely ignore and wish them away and it all depends on what it is . There is a good sized chance that your dad knows you are, at least, not straight, but he is not ready to work to change his "vision" of how he sees you or your future. But I would almost bet the seed is planted in there somewhere. However, some people are terrible at picking up any hints or clues so you can't really be sure.
If he is one of those clueless people the only way to make any headway is to be clear and forward with him. "Dad, because I love you and care about our connection I wanted you to know I am a lesbian and my BFF is just a BFF not anything more" . There is really no reason to do this until you are out of the house and in college. OR even wait until you are independent of him financially and securitywise(housing, insurance, car, phone etc.) That is what I did and Mom and Dad were pretty chill, but in 1993 I just had no real way to judge how they would react so I played it safe.
You can spend a lot of time and energy to give hints, tell your dad or not tell your dad and that decison to put forth the effort has to be for you and not him. IF you feel the need and it is important to you that you be honest with your father then that is one thing. Doing it for his benefit will do you no good. Here is how I know:
I had a best friend in college and we are still close today. He was out as gay when I met him (I was 19, he was 18) and he was the first person I told I was a lesbian sometime in our college years. He came home with me a lot (he is clearly gay even to the untrained eye) and he was pretty close to my mom and dad. Mom and Dad KNEW Shawn was gay. We both moved to Iowa City and were roommates after college and we went to my parents house on weekends for dinner or to ride the 4-Wheelers or horses.
In 1993 I started dating my first girlfriend and game out to Mom and Dad. Mom started crying because "life would be harder for me" and I remember Dad calmy saying "Doris, we have known since she was 6 or 7 AND this is Jippy (my nickname) she will be fine". SO mom and dad were clear on two things. I was a lesbian, Shawn was gay. YET she often said 'you two would make such a cute couple" Or "you know, you two could just try it"
When I married Wife (after many years together) she had finally stopped saying anything. HOWEVER when she was on her death bed and only had a day or two left in 2012, Shawn went to visit her and she told him "I sure wish you and Jippy would get together, you would make a great couple". Moral of the story: Don't waste a lot of time and effort convinicing others of your sexuality. They will think what they want and the best you can do is just live your life. Coming out to them once is enough, you should not have to continually try to "prove" anything. My advice. Don't come out while you are living with him if you think he will just ignore you or not believe you. It just becomes a hassle and unless there is some overwhelming reason he needs to know, it is work you don't need to do.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
The "Happy Couple" then, and now.
64 notes · View notes
coderiderr · 5 months
Note
9, 22 and 27 for you good friend!!
09. personal bias aside, who do you think is the best written character and why? 
regarding MCD oh katelyn absolutely no question. plot threads and arcs can get a little all over the place but katelyn has a consistent motiv/arc she follows through on s1-2 with her defection and everything, we love you katelyn <333 ugh queen
For mystreet well tbh. uhh. s1-3 zane is the only one who had a solid like. arc (?) about opening up and making friends. (not that he should be opening up to these ppl theyre all assholes to him lmfao) so much happens in mystreet and the quality, ranges. s1-3 was like a sitcom but then s4-6 were so much idk.
22. who's the character that you most identify with and why?
i dont think i identify with any of these guys honestly. theyre all very different from me,. mystreet liochant ig, bc he does nothing <3
27. what's something really interesting that you wished canon decided to explore more? alternatively, what's something interesting that you wished the fandom acknowledged more?
OH THERES SOSOSSOSOSOS MUCH goign on mystreet concepts first uhm s4-6 i dont like ghost but her concept is so insane but the fucking execution but like she literally cant remember anything about her life other than the name zane & like love. which she interprets as oh he must be the love of my life or smthin so shes obsessed with him but extremely strongly implied (or outright confirmed id have to rewatch) this is the ghost of emmalyn from mcd and the reason she remembers zane is bc MCD zane literally killed her husband in front of her its so crazy. thinking the reincarnation of the guy who killed your soulmate is your one true love bc you cant remember why you know him AHHHHHHH
s1-3 mystreet im blankin on a lot of it. idk garroth repsect ur brothers boundries more or smthin </3 wish they leaned more into the hilarity of zane being part of the homeowners association. wwe only got the ep where he judges christmas decorations for a competition. ohhh wait they shouldve leaned more into zane being an outcast and why bc theyre kinda like hes a dick ig? even tho like. he reasonable defensive and shit bc the people around him are like. constantly making fun of him. i think he deserves to be a little bit of a dick.
MCD JUST LIKE>> TRAVIS IN GENERAL HIS CONCEPT GOES SO INSANE AND THEN THEY JUSARGHHH like his dad is the demon lord and he grew up solely with his mom and is extremely outcast at the village he protects FROM HIS DAD bc of his parentage and the dude literally spends all his time alone after his mother died he has so much compassion for people who hate him it goes so crazy. and hes so ashmed of his demon side im ahhhh. hes always lurking in ym brain
and dante and gene dante and gene. pov youre orphans and your big brother is doing something terrible so you report him and he winds up being hanged for it and he comes back as an undead monstrosity and kills literally everyone in your hometown ((i realize i have misremebered it was a memory wipe not killing but so many village wipes happen in this series can you blame me)) but you and you are haunted by the guilt you feel. its hard but you end up finding a new place to call home and new people to call family until one day theyre gone and you do your best to help your little struggling village and you perservere until one day 15 years later theyre back and havent aged a day. you thought they were gone.
also just fucking getting to see dante age and get married and become a father while gene is stuck in the same 20 y/o body goes crazy. what happens when you outgrow your big brother
also hmm i dunno. i think we should all aprreciate brenden more. also kiki & zane are so we need to talk about that more
13 notes · View notes
oc-tournaments · 3 months
Text
ROUND ONE - MATCH 17
MEVLYN OBERON NERO vs DANZYMYR MAENELD
Tumblr media Tumblr media
MEVLYN OWNER NERO: @perfect-day-by-lou-reed
DANZYMYR MAENELD: @mitsubinyuri
VOTE BASED ON THE INFORMATION BELOW CUT!!
Propaganda Content Warnings: Parental death for DANZYMYR.
MEVLYN:
PROPAGANDA: He is God's favourite punching bag because his life has been crap (and because he looks hot when in a fight). He had a decent early-ish childhood but that just makes his current pain feel worse. His parents were taken hostage when he was twelve and when they were finally given back they could no longer care for him, but he lived with a witch coven so everyone else took turns caring for him. He also went to boarding school all through high school where he met his best friend (more like brother) who was eventually killed (on accident but Mel doesn't know that) by the main hero. He's the kind of sopping wet cat that is very angry and scratches people because they are cold and wet and just need love.
Melvyn is a supposedly very handsome witch(my drawing skills do not do him justice). He has hair like Marc Bolan and likes sparkly things. While he is the main villain, eventually, years down the road, he goes through a redemption arc and gets married to his long-time boyfriend (who is a german elf), and has a kid.
THEME SONG:
DANZYMYR:
PROPAGANDA: Danzymyr is a male Drow so already not off to a great start. His mother was like... standard evil drow matriarch. Because he was of high status he was treated a little better than other Drow males but still pretty damn terribly. His house, House Maeneld, was on the way out in terms of power and influence and due to the constant jockeying for status in Drow society his mom was intent to use him as a tool to further the house, as with all of his other siblings.
He went to school in Menzoberranzan to be a warrior, and while he was there, he met another student who he ended up becoming close with. This other student was a member of a much more influential house, and long story short his mother found out and wanted to use his closeness to this guy to infiltrate the house and do a whole lot of murder. He was kind of like okay! Sure!
But he lost his nerve right before reaching the place. He escaped to the surface instead, where shit was awful for him. The Drow's sunlight sensitivity made it so that he was in constant pain and most people didn't look too favorably upon him. Eventually, he took up a career as a monster hunter, gaining more and more begrudging respect until he eventually became an adventurer, and later, hero. All the while he's still traumatized from how he was raised and is deathly terrified of spiders.
Eventually he decides he needs to go back to confront his past, so he does. He returns to the house where he was raised and finds out that the guy he was "very good friends" with died anyway (due to his mother's intervention). He ends up killing his mother and actively enjoys it and that causes a big sense of shame.
Then he's sent to a magic prison where they get their minds probed by an aasimar for abstract visions of their psyche given in the form of song where he'll be judged innocent or guilty. He falls in love with a druid who has a crazy savior complex and is enforcing terrible restrictions on the other prisoners, and he's like "wait he's not that bad!" They make each other worse lol.
THEME SONG:
4 notes · View notes
nahalism · 13 days
Note
peace be unto you, darling. how are you feeling?
i went to bhum during the weekend and i met up with a guy at the club. he admitted he likes me. we exchanged numbers. i was with my friend who lives in bhum- she wasn’t in support of me giving my number to the guy(i didn’t care because i don’t live there). we spoke. she didn’t think he was “fine” until we met him the next day again.
when we got to my hotel, she told me how that was a weird move. my dumb ass kept telling her everything the guy said to me. (he seemed very genuine)- too early to speak on his loyalty. ik.
we went back to the club the next day and he was there (waiting to meet us). i was excited to see him again. but when we got there, i began to get so shy. he kept staring which made me uncomfortable but i loved it all together. it was intense or should i say the sexual tension was so much present. (i was on my period so there was no way- tmi)
we went to a different club which was so not it. oh lord, terrible decision. so we came back to the first club. when we got there, my friend was acting so weird. she was all over him (asking for his number and asking about personal questions ; where he lives, does he have a gf ect) even hugging him ? like wtf? when she clearly knew i sort of liked him? now, the guy was just being nice to her. he tried to talk to me and my “friend” had to interrupt. the same friend who thought it was “strange and early” to give my number out.
i spoke to her about how i felt when we got back at the hotel. she didn’t apologise and saw nothing wrong with it. bare in mind this was the second time a guy approached me (fine fine guys) and with the first guy, she said she wish he had approached her. man, now i don’t want to talk to her anymore. or slowly detach from her. it triggered me because this happened to me recently with another “friend”.
she is a very lovely person but i had never met this part of her. this was my first time seeing her in person. (it’s a long distance friendship)
any advice on this situation? i will appreciate it. <3333
my love. theres no way you need my advice on this.... would a lovely person act like the individual you described? everyone has redeeming qualities, but is someone who • judges your choices through the lens of their own insecurity • dismisses you when you communicate your feelings • tries to move to the guy showing you interest, someone you want want to call a friend? is that someone you can trust or feel safe around? is that someone who holds your best interests at heart?— not only do the people you move with represent you, they should be people you respect & believe you can learn from (especially since we tend to pick up / reflect the behaviours of people we're in proximity to). your feelings are justification enough for taking action. dont settle for mid <3
3 notes · View notes
butchviking · 9 months
Note
I miss the Hal who didn't care about celebrities and thought it was weird to care about that lame shit, now you're judging Frank Iero's outfit on the Internet. Not to mention the sexuality speculation - on the public Internet. All the while he's a straight but you as a lesbian were just saying how you're uncomfortable when your girlfriends talk about men they're attracted to. Sooooo.... they're opinions bother you and you can't have a conversation about that but public speculation about a straight man's fake homosexuality is OK because he can perform gay on stage... you can't have a conversation any friends should be able to have,, but you're wondering if those jumpscare ugly moids had sex or not... Got it. One rule for thee but not for me I guess... lame Hal
oh nooooo some anonymous weirdo on the internet misses the version of me they made up in their head 🥺🥺 as though i was not a fandom blogger for years before i ever heard of radblr as though i have not always been obsessed with some celebrity or other as though i have not been frerard speculating since i was 10. u dont know me. grow up.
u also obviously terribly misunderstood something about that little rant of mine the other day bc i was in fact not so much complaining that women in my life talk about men theyre attracted to. i was complaining that i as a lesbian feel left out and wish i could be part of those conversations and i still struggle with accepting that i never can be and it makes me sad <3 and i talked about how that very much relates to my interest in whoever my current Celebrity Guys are because i struggle to have conversations about them even with many other fans because they simply experience things that i cannot and it makes me feel terribly like im missing out on something and like im missing out on bonding moments w other female fans bc they say things and all i can do is wrinkle up my nose and be like 'um well thats nice'.
also yeah frank & gerard are both probably straight and almost definitely never fucked but their stage gay shit was an anti-homophobia stand and did in fact have a very significant impact on me as a child. its important to me. sorry if thats lame to you but yeah it shaped me as a person to see two guys kissing on stage and getting booed and bottled for it it shaped me as a person to experience the reaction i got in catholic school reading the download 2007 review with the frerard kiss image it shaped me as a person to see them get called fags again and again and to take this stand anyway again and again. im very very serious about this i genuinely do not take their stage gay antics lightly and i am forever and ever grateful. it meant a lot. gay people in my kerrang magazine..
9 notes · View notes