#i had a character i just never ever played so i gave him a rework | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ahotmesswithprivilege · 2 months ago

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Ok, so I read this comment and I cried. A lot. And I had no idea what to reply so I reread Butterfly Effect (questionable decision, I know) which made me cry even more.

Now I am sitting here rereading your comment and I'm still not quite sure how to reply to those wonderful and kind words while gloriously failing at the attempt to keep my shit together. But I'll be damned if I don't try.

When I started writing Butterfly Effect I thought it would be an OS and that's it but the longer I wrote, the more tiny details I threw in, the more connections I got to hide like little treasures knowing perfectly well that most people won't pick up on them or cannot because it's a scene I cut for length.

The scene with the coffin was one of the hardest to write and it's even harder to read because I know who put what inside and why. Every piece is a memory, a story that makes up the mosaic that is Enyo and every little bit makes me love her even more.

I am glad to hear that the scene at the Hard Deck worked as intended. This was supposed to be the turning point where it would branch off into the happy and unhappy ending way back when but then I wrote the scene where Rooster talks about the question she asks him while playing pool and I knew that there could only be one way to end this. A happy ending that most people might not consider one but for those two idiots in love it felt right even if I shattered my heart in the process.

And I'll never get over the line Enyo gives him when they see each other in the afterlife: "Well, aviator boy. Aren't we missing something vital here? Lucky for you a little birdie gave me a hint" I have no idea how many people found it and made the connection to Rooster, but the idea that he talks to her even after she's gone was too precious not to weave it in somehow.

Even after posting it, the story lingers in my brain and the more I think about them the more I want to add to their story. There are some scenes I already plotted from before their fallout, but the idea of a happy ending still lives rent-free in the back of my mind so much so that I started plotting a reworked version of the story with Enyo as OC where she comes back. I love writing it so much but every time I am out of my writing frenzy I feel like I just betrayed the character that I probably love most out of all the ones I ever wrote. The beat of a butterfly's wing can cause a tornado on the other side of the planet, so bringing her back would have even worse ramifications and I know that.

And still, I wrote this and I cannot help the way the idea makes me smile.

Butterfly Effect

paring: Jake Seresin x female!aviator!reader (callsign Enyo)

wordcount: 11225 (I warned you people and I cut a lot of stuff already 🫠 if things don't make sense, please ask. There is probably a scene in the extended cut that explains it)

synopsis: Enyo and Hangman are known as the Top Gun power couple and after almost a decade of being with each other and Jake facing a 7-month deployment he asks you to finally meet his family in Texas. Knowing what kind of wealthy background he's coming from makes you more nervous than flying a mission in your old girl. And like you expected. The family dinner turns into a Seresin Family Inquisition interrogation and the garden party the following day is the worst warzone you've ever been in. All you want to do is leave, but then you overhear a conversation not meant for your ears and everything changes.

inspo: Exile by Taylor Swift; Piano Cover (I listened to this on repeat while writing so if you want the full-blown experience, I suggest putting it on. It's really good)

note: This is probably the most gutwrenching thing I've written, like ever. I cannot remember me crying this much about something I wrote and that's why I post it now. I cannot keep editing this. I am a masochist, but even I have my limits. Originally I created Enyo as a reader insert for my curvy girls because I remembered a nasty comment I had gotten once and thought it would fit perfectly into the Top Gun universe and then this happened. I intended to write an unhappy ending and a happy one but the more I wrote the more I realised that because I love Enyo so much I have to respect her and writing an alternative version feels like betraying one of the core ideals of the story. Usually, I am all about constructive criticism, because I believe it's the only way to improve, but I would greatly appreciate it if you could skip that with this one. I am still thrilled about every reblog and comment on what you liked and if you needed some tissues, but please be kind.

Trigger Warning ( You are responsible for your media consumption, proceed with caution, you know the drill): major character death (KIA and unspecified), !!! ANGST & HURT !!!, mourning and moving on, violence (verbal and punches), breaking up, self-sacrifice, suicide mission, miscommunication, verbally abusive and controlling parents (Jake's), military/naval inaccuracies, badly written child character, cheesy as fuck dialogues, written by a non-native speaker, not beta read, riddled with typos because edited while crying, Y/N and Y/L/N are used (couldn't use her callsign all the time)

Masterlist

divider and banner by @firefly-graphics

!!!Minors do not interact! I will start blocking blank blogs/without age and minors, no second chances, no questions asked. I don't wanna get into trouble because of you, so please respect my boundaries!!!

God you were done with this place. You were so fucking done. You know you need to get out of here and it needs to happen fast so the battle plan was simple. Go into the mansion, run up the stairs, get your stuff, find Jake and then fuck off into the sunset in the hopes he would never ever make you come back here. You are passing by the library on your way to the stairs when a voice makes you stop dead in your tracks.

"This is none of your fucking business..." "This is my business, Jacob. Weren't we generous enough when I allowed you to indulge in those little aviator dreams of yours? And when you didn't want us to pick a suitable match for you, the way it would have properly been done, I gave you free rein, believing that you were rational enough to choose a good woman. One from a good family with manners and a solid education who wouldn't embarrass you any step of the way and what do you? You bring your little tramp to our home, embarrassing us in front of all of our business partners and friends and now you want your grandmother's ring to propose to her? "I love her" "What good is love if she cannot give you an heir" You expect there to be a retort but there is only silence. "You might have forgotten it over the years you've played soldier in San Diego, but you have a responsibility to this family, Jacob and I expect you to finally man up and make the right decisions. And your current relationship status is the perfect place to start" Another pause and you feel the tears streaming down your face, pressing a hand over your mouth so they don't hear you sobbing when you hear the words that Jake utters next. "Yes, father", he sounds angry, gets it out between gritted teeth, but nevertheless, he doesn't defend you, doesn't tell his piece of shit of a father to go fuck himself, no. He fucking agreed.

God, you felt so stupid. With your heels in hand, you run upstairs to your shared room. First, you change your clothes and put your hair up in a messy bun, finally feeling like yourself again with the leather pants, the combat boots and the leather jacket. The next part of the battle plan is getting all of your stuff together, but that's not much of a challenge. You never properly unpacked because you had always felt like an intruder rather than a welcome guest, let alone a family member and now you knew why. Picking up the keys to Jake's jeep you are ready to leave. You could deal with the fallout later.

Storming down the stairs, you ignore the weird looks you get, memorising the route you have to take to the airport before you turn off the GPS on your phone. Once you reach the black car you throw your duffle bag on the back seat and get in the front, locking the doors from the inside. You hate driving with a burning passion and Jake was usually happy to get behind the wheel, but that meant you lost precious time adjusting your seat before finally turning the ignition. That's when he suddenly appeared by your side. "Where are you going?", there is panic in his voice as he tries to jank the door open but doesn't budge no matter how hard he tries. "None of your fucking business, Bagman" The way you use the insult version of his call sign hits him to the core. As close as you were to Phoenix, it was something you had never entertained. Not once. "What is going on?" "I'm just fixing your relationship status", you look at him and the tears that are running down your face leave mascara streaks in their wake, "So you can man up and make responsible decisions" You look over his shoulder where a crowd of people is already gathering at the entrance, among them a few of the bitches who had been on your ass all night long. "The proper women are already lining up for you", there is so much bitterness in your voice that he doesn't even know how to react. You heard everything his father had said, "I am sure they'll be thrilled to play human incubator for you"

You don't even let him answer before you speed off the property, gravel shooting up into his face. In your mind, you play through the route you have to take and you silently thank your instructor for drilling in how important it was to memorise everything in one look. It is what you focus on to drown out the voices in your head. The nasty ones that tell you that this was to be expected. That a man like Jacob Seresin would never be serious about someone like you. You had lived in a delusional dream, stupid but even the best have their flaws. You wipe away your tears to clear your view before you lean over the console, thanking the heavens for the straight roads of Texas that are giving you the chance to turn off the GPS in the car's computer. Even while you are manoeuvring the menu, it shows an incoming call from Jake that you ignore. Then another and another. There is a point when Coyote joins in, then Phoenix and Rooster and then there's Bob, Fanboy and Payback.

It was about an hour in when you had no tears left and you felt like all that was left of you was your survival training and the endless, echoing loneliness filling the void where your heart had once been. The street was pretty empty, no wonder considering how late it was and because you were in tunnel vision you arrived at the airport without even realising how much time had passed. You had already checked the flights and booked one back to San Diego. Usually, you wouldn't have picked one that would be such a close call, but a part of you was still worried that he could have figured out what you intended to do. Jake Seresin was after all the one person on planet Earth who knew you best.

You unlock your screen for a moment, seeing all of the missed calls and messages piling up. You click on Phoenix's name, knowing that she would be the one who'd support you, no questions asked.

Enyo: Don't tell anyone, but I am alive

Phoenix: Thank the heavens I was about to book myself a ticket to Dallas to look for you.

Enyo: Can you do me a favour?

Phoenix: Everything for you, Bonita

Enyo: Send Bagman a message in 4 hours. Tell him the Jeep is at the Dallas International Airport. Deck G number 245. I'll put the keys onto the left front tyre.

You see how she writes, deletes and writes again until she settles on something.

Phoenix: Fine, but just for the record, Jake is losing his mind. You know I am not his biggest fan and I have no idea what happened, but are you sure he deserves this?

Enyo: His father called me a random tramp he has to get rid of and he agreed. I am just doing what he wanted

You get out of the car, throw the duffle bag over your shoulder and place the keys. It's not like he would feel the loss considering the backing he got from home, but you weren't a thief. You are late for check-in but it goes surprisingly smoothly and no less than 3 hours later you arrive at the San Diego International Airport. Making your way over to the cabs you turn your phone on again. Considering how they kept on calling, Phoenix kept her mouth shut.

Phoenix: I just sent him the directions. Heads up, he booked a flight and he'll be here in 5 hours give or take.

Enyo: Thanks. I owe you

Phoenix: For you, always

You feel your phone vibrating in your hand and you are about to decline the call when your eyes take in the name tag. "Good morning, Sir", you answer the phone, wondering what Simpson wants from you, considering to him you were still on leave until the end of the week. "Good morning, Enyo. I know it is an uncivilised hour, but..." "No need to apologise, Sir. I've been awake for a while" There is a short pause and you wonder what is going on in that brain of his, but then he takes a deep breath and continues. "I know you are on leave until the end of the week, but I just got an urgent request and they asked for you" "Departure time?" "8 hours at max. and you'll be deployed for 4 months. I know that it's short notice..." "I'll be at the dock in 4", you reply, practically hearing how the gears are turning in his head. You and Hangman had been fighting so hard to have your leave together and now you were ready to jump on board of a ship for four months no questions asked. "Good. I will send you the details for your ship. The mission briefing will be on board" "Perfect. Thank you, Sir"

You tell the cab driver to wait outside when you get out with your duffle bag over your shoulder. You open the door and it hits you again.

This had been your home. The first real one you had, like ever. You had learned to live out of a duffle bag before joining the Navy and only when Jake asked you to move in did you realise how little you knew about making a home. But he had helped you, made you feel safe. This house had become your haven, but at its core, it's never been about the place. It had been about him.

You had made a plan while you were on the plane, going through the stuff you wanted to pick up, the motions you needed so now that you were here in the real space it was an in-and-out situation. You knew that you would get sentimental if you stayed too long, the scent that had become synonymous with home enveloping you.

Jake's scent. God how you would miss this.

You picked up your bath essentials, cleaned out the sparse rest of your clothing and then picked up the few trinkets you had spread around the place. Then you went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water and some chocolate to tie you over until you'd be on board. On your way to the front door, you pass the dinner table and put down your keys. That's all you had to do so you started walking before you stopped again in your tracks. You'd almost forgotten. You pull the chain of your dog tags over your head and open it, taking off the tags that you had added. Jake gave them to you before your first deployment after you two became a thing.

Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt that the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love.

The Shakespeare quote was engraved in the metal and it reminded you every time who you wanted to come back home to. You place it next to your keys, put your dog tags back on and rush out the door, seeing a familiar car pull up on the sidewalk. Hurrying down to your cab, you threw the duffel back on the back seat.

"Enyo...", your fingers are clinging to the top of the door, knowing that you wouldn't be quick enough to get in and away without an interaction. "Coyote, I need to be at the dock in less than an hour", you state and you feel the way he takes your hand, his soft brown eyes looking into yours as if he could freeze you in place like this. "What? You are on leave?", his hand tightening around yours. "Simpson called two hours ago. It's urgent, so..." "And what about Jake? He'll be here soon..." "I know that you are his best friend Coyote and I commend you for your loyalty. I really do, but there is nothing that needs to be said. He made his choice and I made mine", you look at him and Javy knows this look. He's seen it on your face before, that determination with eyes so full of fire that you could set the world ablaze and slaughter everyone who gets in your way. This is why Cyclone outvoted them all, naming you after the Greek goddess of war and you fucking deserved it. "Please... I know how things are looking but you need to give him a chance..." "I have an order, Coyote. And I won't ignore it" He knew that those were your last words, pulling your hand out of his grip before you got into the car, closed the door and told the driver to take you to the docks.

13 months later...

When you returned to the dagger squad a week ago it had almost felt like coming home. Yes, you had to ignore Hangman, avoiding his calls and texts like the fucking plague and never conversing about anything more than absolute necessities and it's fucking hard, but you know it's for the best. This stay is not for long. All you are waiting for is the go and you'd be off to your new mission. You are sitting in the briefing room that morning, Maverick handing out your training assignments for the day when the door is opened. "Enyo", you turn your head and look at Warlock. It's all written on his face as he walks over to you, handing you a manila folder with CLASSIFIED written in large red letters on the front. It's not like you have to look inside to know what it is, but you want to at least keep up appearances and even though you anticipated this from the day you set foot on base, the prospect of having to walk out of here felt so much harder than you ever imagined. "Wheels are up in 30, so you better get yourself ready, Lieutenant" "Yes, Sir" "And Enyo", there is a heavy pause as the older man looks down on you. You know that he hates this just as much as Cyclone, but he will keep his mouth shut. For your sake more than his own because he respects you and your decision more than his wish to keep you here. "Good luck", he knows that this is a one-way trip to hell and of all the people he ever served with, you were one of those who didn't deserve this fate at all. "Thank you, sir" All he does is nod, turn on his heels and leave. You feel all eyes in the room on you and you just hope you get out of this without having to let them in on the dimension of the shit show you were diving into head first.

"I am sorry Captain, but this is important", you hold up the file and Maverick nods. He doesn't know what it contains, but he knows that Cyclone fought by all available means to get this off his desk, so it had to be bad. "Dismissed" You get up from your chair and walk over to the door, turning around one last time to let your gaze wander over the people who weren't just colleagues or even friends. What you had with them was so much more. They were all a little crazy, a little banged up and maybe even a little broken. But they were your family. Something you had built up in over a decade of dedication and love. There is a smile tugging at the corner of your lip before you give them a last nod. At least you'd go out with a bang for the people you love. "See you guys", you say and there is a weird silence settling in the room the moment the door closes behind you.

"Captain, you know what this is about?", Rooster asks the question they all have on their lips. "No", he shrugs, leaning back against his desk. "All I know is that the Admiral fought tooth and nail to not send someone out there" Without another word, Jake gets up and even though it breaks every protocol in the book, Maverick is not gonna stop him.

You know you only have 30 minutes, but you cannot help the sentimentality you feel. Walking up to the Hangar you stand by your Hornet, fingers lovingly caressing the cold metal. The shit you'd gone through together was wild and considering that it was in her cockpit you got your confirmed air-to-air kill makes tears well up in your eyes when you think about what is to come. You lean in for a kiss, tilting your head to the side you rest your cheek against the metal and whisper. "I'm sorry old girl, but that last ride I'll have to do alone" You had loved your hornet from the moment you first set foot in the cockpit. Nothing else could give you that rush of adrenalin, the freedom of being in the air. The sky was your limit, quite literally. Leaving her after she's been by your side for a decade feels like you betray her, almost like you are cutting one of your own limbs off, even though you know it's better. "And look out for my friend. He'll need all the luck he can get"

Jake finds you in the hangar, forehead pressed against the front of your hornet before you push back, wiping away tears that ran down your cheek. "What is the mission about", his voice echoes through the air and you need to take a deep breath before you manage to turn around, your face schooled into that unreadable expression that you had perfected during service. "Classified, Seresin. I am pretty sure you know what that means" "Stop bullshitting me Enyo. Warlock wished you good luck and Maverick says Simpson fought tooth and nail so he didn't have to send someone on that mission", he marches over to you, not even a foot of space between the two of you. That's probably the closest you've been since the night at the Hard Deck.

There is a beat of silence between the two of you while your gaze searches his. He feels that there are things you want to say and tears you want to shed, but you swallow it all down. It reminds him of when you first met. The girl who didn't just build walls around her heart but a fucking fortress, who considered emotions something to cloud your judgement and a luxury you cannot afford. He had spent so long tearing those walls down and to be forced to see them back up and in working order makes his heart ache.

"Please...", he is begging you now and you feel your heart clenches in your chest. Time and distance had done jack-shit to change your feelings about Jake Seresin and that hit you with full force right now. "All you need to know is that I do what is right for the people I love"

He hates that reply. He hates the way you sound so calm. Yes, it's part of the job to risk your life. They all signed up for that, but there is something about the look in your eyes that tells him you are not fighting. No, you made your peace with whatever comes next and that terrifies him.

"Don't go" "Hangman..." "You want me to go down on my knees and beg? Fine", he lets himself fall down and stares up at you now with those pleading green eyes chipping away at your resolve with every gaze he sends your way. "I will do whatever it takes for you not to get onto that chopper. You want me to ditch Michelle? I will with a bright smile on my face. You want me to marry her? Fine, I will. Want me to leave the daggers so you can come back? I will ask for a transfer right now and not leave Simpson's office until it's granted. Do you want me to hand in my wings and retire? It is fucking done", he keeps on rambling, tears streaming down his cheeks as he searches your eyes for any sign that something, anything really could convince you to stay. But all he is met with is silence. "TELL ME", his voice is hoarse as his scream echoes through the hangar. He's loud enough for the entire base to hear, but he doesn't care. There is only one thing on his mind. Make you stay.

"I'm sorry, Hangman", your voice is quiet compared to his, no more than a whisper, but it's trembling. You cannot tell him what this mission entails. Not because it's classified, but because you knew he would insist on coming along. So would every other member of the dagger squad and you could not endanger them like that. For one heartbeat more you allow yourself to get lost in those beautiful green eyes before you turn around to leave. You don't make it even two steps before you feel a large hand wrap around your wrist. You knew that feeling, had memorised every little detail about him years ago.

Spinning you around to him his hands fly to your cheeks and he pulls you into a kiss. It's needy and desperate and you feel like you can breathe for the first time in over a year. A part of you wishes to freeze this moment, to stand here in this hangar forever, but you know that is nothing but a dream.

For the first time since you drove off in that fucking Jeep Jake feels like his heart is beating again. This is what he needed, you, in his arms. Forever seemed much too short for the two of you, but then you heard someone clearing their throat and you pulled back, gaze still locked with his.

"Lieutenant Y/L/N, the helicopter is ready for take-off" "Thank you, ensign" "Nononono", Jake is desperate to pull you back in for another kiss, but you take his hands off your cheek with the saddest smile he had ever seen on your face. "Your captain is waiting, Lieutenant", those are the last words you say to him before you turn around and walk over to your duffle bag, throwing it over your shoulder and heading out. And all he can do is stand there, frozen in place with the feeling of your lips still pressed against his as tears stream down his face.

5 more minutes, you tell yourself. 5 more minutes and you can break drown crying in the chopper. You are doing the right thing. It's what you repeat like a fucking mantra while your heart is shattering all over.

When you walk out on the tarmac you see Cyclone, waiting for you right next to the chopper a sombre look on his face. He didn't want this. Not for any of his aviators but especially not for you. He had always been married to his job and he loved it that way but when he saw your strife and tenacity, the way you fought so much harder than anyone else to get scraps thrown your way, he knew he'd take you under his wing. And in all those years, you had never disappointed, not even once.

"Admiral Simpson" "Lieutenant", he reaches out his hand and you take it. This is the most emotion he can show to you here on base while he is your superior, but not sending you off would have been selfish on his part. "I am sad to see you leave, but I want you to know that serving with you is the honour of a lifetime" Tears glitter in his eyes and you force yourself to take a deep breath to fight back your tears. "Thank you, Sir. The pleasure is all mine", your voice is raspy and you are choking up. He nods, letting go of your hand as you move on towards the chopper when you feel a hand on your shoulder stopping you in your tracks. When you look to the side you see him staring into the distance and you both know if he looked into your eyes one last time, he would start to cry. "I want you to come home, Enyo. That is an order" "Yes, Sir"

This was it. You had prepared everything to the best of your abilities, you were the best pilot for the job. Now all you had to do was finish the mission.

150 agonising hours later, the dagger squad is sitting in the same debriefing room. They all go through the motions, do their training, get up in the air and all, but it is obvious to everyone that they are not quite there. Maverick is about to give them their assignments for the day when the door opens and in comes Cyclone, dark circles under his eyes, a hint of red around his iris and a thick manila envelope in hand. They all know that this means nothing good. It had been hanging over them like the fucking sword of Damocles since you left and it seemed like now it was about to come down. The silence in the room became unbearable and they all didn't dare to breathe.

"With great regret, I have to inform you that Lieutenant Y/L/N was killed in action 8 hours ago", his voice is calm but there is the smallest hint of roughness as if he fought hard to keep his composure. His words are followed by a silence that is even more deafening than before.

Maverick had expected something along those lines. Not that he wished for it but he had seen the way Cyclone sent you off. He knew all too well what you meant to the Admiral and the fact that he himself got so emotional was the biggest red flag in the history of red flags.

Phoenix feels how her eyes fill with tears, while her hands are looking for something, quite frankly anything to hold onto and when she finds Bob's she's holding on for dear life.

Rooster's eyes are filled with terror. This couldn't possibly be true. You were the best of them. No one had ever come close to your skills, hell you even caught up to Hangman's air-to-air kill. His palms were getting sweaty, his heart hammering in his chest while the blood rushing in his ears drowned out everything else. First his father, now you. You had been as good as a sister and were taken from him too? The same way he lost his dad? That bitch Fortuna was really having a fucking field day with his life, wasn't she?

Coyote's eyes shoot over to Hangman the moment Cyclone ends his sentence. He knows what happened between the two of you, and knows how much this is weighing on Jake. Fuck Javy had allowed him to crash on his couch the past days because the thought of going back to his own house that wasn't your house any more was more than Jake could bear. Coyote thought it had been bad watching Hangman spiral when you fucked off on that aircraft carrier right after the fight the two of you had about a year ago, but that was nothing compared to the past 6 days. Coyote had fully expected shock in his best friend's eyes, probably a lot of pain and heartache too, but he hadn't expected the same look in Jake's eyes that people thought of as so terrifying when they got it from you. Hangman was ready to set the fucking world on fire and he didn't care about who or what he had to go through to achieve that.

"You BASTARD", his voice is loud as he lunges himself towards Cyclone. Jake didn't care what happened after this. All he had on his mind was that you were gone and you had known it. So had Cyclone, Warlock and Maverick probably too. They had sent you on a fucking suicide mission. They played their shitty little political games and you paid the price. "YOU FUCKING KILLED HER", he roars, getting a good punch in, sending the man to the floor before Coyote and Payback yanked him off their superior. He had caught Cyclone off guard and the older man moved his jaw as if to test if something was damaged, spitting out some blood before he got off the floor.

Maybe Seresin was right. Maybe he deserved that. He could have forced your hand and make you stay. But at the end of the day, it would have meant that they'd be mourning someone else. "I understand your pain, Lieutenant, I really do. But might I remember that Enyo chose to go on that mission, well aware of what it would entail", he tries to stay calm as he says these words, still very vividly remembering how he had trashed his entire office when he got the call.

Cyclone leaned down, picked up the brown Manila envelope from the floor and opened it. "I have been tasked to hand these out to you in case anything happens to her", he says, pulling out neatly labelled envelopes, and putting them down in front of all of them. "The security clearance for the mission prohibits me from giving you any more details, but what I can tell you is that she finished the assignment", he takes another deep breath, holding out the last envelope for Hangman," She died protecting the people she loved and the country she swore to defend. Not honouring this decision would not only mean not honouring her last wish but also forsaking everything she ever lived and bled for"

Hangman stared into his superior's eyes, heart hammering still against his ribcage while his fingers wrapped tightly around the paper he had been given.

Cyclone gives him a last nod before he heads over to the door, turning back one last time. "I approved of a week of leave for you and if you need support, emotional or otherwise, my door is open"

When they come back after a week of mourning Hangman is greeted by the sight of someone painting over your callsign on the side of your jet and it makes his blood boil. How dare they. You weren't even laid to rest yet and those asshats already ripped your memory to pieces. He wants to head over there to give the AMs a piece of his mind when Warlock, Maverick and the hulk of a man he had seen you with at the Hard Deck come over to them.

"Squad, this is Lieutenant Jackson Porter, callsign Kolossos", Warlock introduces the man next to him and the daggers all look at each other, a bit confused about where this is supposed to go. "He was newly assigned to your squadron and I expect you to welcome him with open arms"

The more Warlock talks the more Jake wants to lunge at him and strangle him for the bullshit he's speaking. You weren't even buried and they already gave your spot to someone else. And that's when it hits him, eyes flitting over to the other side of the tarmac where they finished painting over your callsign. They did this for him. He would get your old girl. He is only ripped back into reality by the words of Kolossos

"I am honoured to be here, but believe me when I say, this is not how I wanted to join this team", he is quiet, his voice not quite matching the impressiveness of his stature.

"Calm your horses, man", Javy whispers in his best friend's ear, hand placed on his shoulder to act quickly in case he has to quell Hangman's rage again. In that regard, he had become quite the expert in the past week, considering how much more self-destructive Jake had turned, especially after reading the letter you wrote for him. Javy lets his eyes wander and he knows that none of them want this. Not Rooster, not Phoenix, Payback or Fanboy. The only one who seems to be mildly neutral is Bob, but Bob doesn't count. He's too good for this world anyway. He would welcome whoever to the squad and give them a chance.

Rooster's eyes wander over the guy and he is not sure how to feel. The shoes you had left behind were fucking huge ones to fill and he honestly doubted that anyone could step up to that challenge. Because no matter how good they'd be in the cockpit, they would never have your sense of humour or the way one of your hugs gave them the feeling that the world was not a complete shit show. That's a hole no one can fill and the fact they force someone into that position is vile to begin with. On the other hand, that guy is probably the last one to blame for the situation. Wanting to be a part of the dagger squad is one thing, but as he said. This is sure as fucking hell not the way you wanted to join a squad, no matter how good or prestigious it is.

"How dare you fucking vultures. We haven't even put her to rest and you are already picking apart her legacy", Jake barked out, feeling how his anger and fury took over once more. He had always prided himself on being in control, no matter the situation but since you'd been gone, even the last bit of self-restraint went out of the window. The image of you saying goodbye to your old girl, as you'd loved to call your hornet as if you were letting go of the most loyal companion of them all had been etched into his memory.

"Restrain yourself, Lieutenant. I know that this is a challenging time for all of you, so I will let it slide this once, but it would be best for you to remember that you are talking to a superior" It is not that Bates didn't understand the magnitude of the situation the entire squad had been forced into and what hardships they were facing on a personal level, especially Hangman. That is why he agreed with Cyclone that they would give them a little more leeway while they adjusted. A suggestion he would have never believed to come from the admiral's mouth. But you had been a part of the group from the start and had grown to be a vital part. Losing you was like cutting off a limb from a body and expecting it to function just the same. "And do not dare to insinuate that I do not respect Lieutenant Y/L/N and what she did for us and this country. On the contrary. I am fulfilling her wishes. Lieutenant Porter was her personal recommendation as a replacement for her position and I doubt you would question her judgement, would you?"

Phoenix had been standing there, witnessing the situation unfold in front of her eyes and she couldn't believe it. Even when you were faced with a mission you knew you wouldn't come home from, your focus had been on all of them. The letters, the way you handpicked the person to take over from you. It brought tears to her eyes. She had thought of you as selfish for not telling them the truth, for not letting them help you when you were facing the toughest mission of your life. Instead, you just fucked off into the sunset and left them to handle the aftermath. But no. Every choice you made had been to minimise damage and to protect the dagger squad, to protect your family. You knew that they would need someone new and so you went out of your way to find someone you deemed worthy to be a part of your family, someone who she presumed would defend the squad as fiercely as you had. "If Enyo approved, who are we to argue"

It is Rooster's idea for all of them to go to the Hard Deck together and as much as he hates it, Hangman agrees, knowing you would have wanted him to do better. If you had recommended Kolossos to Warlock and Cyclone you had your reasons and there were two things you excelled at. Flying a jet and knowing people. You had told him on that first evening with his family that something was off and today he wished more than ever before that he had listened to you. That he had just grabbed his shit and drove back home, then he could hold you in his arms tonight instead of crashing on Coyote's shitty couch yet again.

They could feel how uncomfortable the newbie was and how the conversation was constantly dancing around anything to do with you. He didn't want to open wounds again, something that Jake could appreciate, but that would mean those wounds had healed and the longer this went on the more sure he was that he'd never stop bleeding. "So, how did you meet Enyo", the rest of the table looks at him in complete and utter shock, especially Kolossos who felt like Hangman was the one who hated him most. He had seen the other man pierce him with that green gaze and you had told him enough about Jake Seresin to know that you don't want to get on the wrong side of his wrath. "We were deployed together last year. She took over for another aviator and I am honest, I was a bit starstruck when I first met her", he stares down at his beer bottle, starting to nervously peel the label off. "I mean we were reviewing her footage in class and all", he chuckles a little thinking back to that first meeting. To him, you had been this larger-than-life figure, not dissimilar to the people he sat with around this table, but once you had shaken hands, you had treated him like an old friend. "I was super by the book and hyper-polite and all and I remember it was the day before our first mission training when she sat down opposite me in the mess and looked me in the eyes. That intense stare that makes you believe that she can see straight to the bottom of your soul", he looks up in the round and sees understanding faces and a lot of nodding. They had all been on the receiving end of that stare more than once and Jake could very vividly imagine how short you stared down this behemoth of a man. "She told me that considering that I'll be her wingman I should start acting like one. I was confused and honestly a bit scared so I apologised. Like a lot before she just started laughing. That roaring laughter that vibrates in your whole body", he closes his eyes for a moment to remember that moment, giving him the feeling that for the duration of a heartbeat, he could hear your laugh. "How about you start treating me like a person and not some fucking mythical creature. Just because my callsign is a greek goddess, doesn't mean I am one. I promise I am very mortal and bleed red. Then she winked at me and got up before she invited me to her bunk, telling me to get some questions ready for her, she's already compiled hers for me", he shakes his head and laughs a little. "We spent the next 6 hours talking about everything and nothing. Other than my wife I've never met someone who was so honestly and authentically interested in me, my thoughts, my ideas, my dreams. She didn't ask me why I joined the Navy, she asked me What is so important in your life that you join the Navy to protect it?", there is a heavy silence that is filled by the surrounding bar chatter.

"Yeah. She was a bit of a nosy bitch", Phoenix snickers, eyes flitting up to Hangman, expecting to see his fury there but all she found was that sad but knowing smile.

"When we met that first day here in this very bar we were over there by the pool tables and she was absolutely grilling me when she casually leaned over the table, asking me if, given the chance I could, would I go back in time and change something?", Rooster chimes in, the rest of the squad realising instantly how loaded that question was. Not that you knew that at the time, you'd barely met at that point. "I said I would save my dad and she paused and looked at me for a long time before she focused back on the game and said in the most casual voice you can imagine. I understand the wish, but do you think the aftermath of the butterfly effect would be worth it?", Rooster takes a sip of his beer before he continues, feeling all eyes on him. "I don't think I ever thought so long about a question in my life and still to this day I wonder if she wasn't right. If the wish to change the past wouldn't ultimately destroy everything that we are and who we can be"

"She asked me what my favourite theme in fiction is and then proceeded to listen to me rambling for four hours on the politics of war and peace in Star Trek", Fanboy added. Usually, people outside of the online space were not interested in what he loved, so having found someone who didn't just ask for the show, but who actually listened to him and didn't even bat an eye when he started pulling up episode clips on his phone had been precious. "She didn't just listen, she was really invested and asked for recommendations", a small smile tugged at the corner of Hangman's mouth. He remembered it as if it were yesterday when you crashed on the couch with a DVD box and made him watch season after season of Star Trek with you.

"I was over there with her, throwing darts when she suddenly asked me what my plans for the future were. Like this picture-perfect interview question. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? And I just started talking about the family business and my father and the plans he has for me to retire at 40 and take over and how much I hated the mere idea. How much I hated feeling like I was a chess piece on the board and not a human being. She looked me straight in the eye and said. I didn't ask about your father's plans for you. I asked for yours", Jake closes his eyes, remembering that moment so vividly as his grip on his whiskey glass gets only tighter. That had been the night he swore to himself he would be yours in whatever capacity you wanted him. You had looked at him and seen him. Not a facade he felt forced to create to be who others wanted him to. You had seen him. The good, the bad and the ugly and you loved him still. "For the first time in my life, I thought about what I want past being an aviator...", Jake feels a small hand taking his and when he looks to the side he sees Phoenix's gentle smile. "That night I knew I wanted to get married and that I'd be the luckiest bastard on planet Earth if she'd allow me to put a ring on her finger"

When Kolossos heads out for a new round of drinks, he comes back with a guy in tow none of them had ever seen before. "You are the dagger squad, right?", he asks, eyes wandering around, wondering if the bartender had given him the right pointer. "Who wants to know that?" "I am Lieutenant Mercer. I was last deployed on the USS Carl Vinson" "That was Enyo's ship...", Phoenix began, having wrangled at least that much from records. "Yes", he looks around the crowded bar before he continues, "Maybe we should head out to the deck where it's a little quieter" None of the daggers dare argue with him. If they wanted to know what happened to you, this was probably the best chance they'd ever get, so they all got up and followed him. "Penny, we'll be right back. Don't close the tab", Rooster called over to the bar before he stepped through the door to the outside as the tail end of the group. They all gather around a table in the corner, as far away from prying eyes and ears as possible. Then Mercer puts a recorder onto the table and presses play.

"Abort the mission" "Negative. I am only missing one and this trash bucket won't make it much longer. I will not die and leave that shitshow to someone else" "Enyo that's an order" "Argos, do you copy?" "Copy" "Do me a favour. Tell the daggers to meet me on the 17th at the Hard Deck, at six pm sharp. I owe Ja", and then your voice is cut off by static and the recording ends. The sound of the waves crashing on the beach and the noise coming from the bar is all that can be heard as the squad stares down at the recorder. They all hadn't believed to hear your voice ever again, especially not right before... "You are Argos, I presume", that's Rooster who found his composure first. "Yes", the man nods, eyes focused on Hangman particularly as if he was gauging the effect the recording had on him. "I tried to find out things, but to access those records you need the clearance of an admiral or higher", Phoenix stares at the guy to her left. "I know" "Then this is high treason", Rooster states very matter-of-factly. "I respect the last wish of a woman who died saving the lives of a hell of a lot of people more than I fear going to jail for this"

It's two days later when they lay you to rest, not that there is something inside the coffin. They didn't find your remains or pieces of your jet for that matter. He knows that you always hated that pompous bullshit and he did everything in his power to tone it down, but there were rules. And considering what you did and what you achieved, there were a hell of a lot of old men who loved sitting behind large wooden desks, making decisions while people like you and him had to carry them out who wanted to sun themselves in your glory. It made him sick to his stomach to think about all these assholes giving grand speeches about your bravery and your sacrifice for your nation knowing all too well that their incompetence had sent you to your grave. He was still in his jeans, t-shirt and boots, your old and worn-out leather jacket sitting snuggly on his shoulder. For you, the man's leather jacket had been too large and bulky but it was a perfect fit for him, so he could carry something of you wherever he went.

"I know that talking to an empty coffin is stupid, but I miss you, my love. I miss you so much", tears were running down his cheeks and a part of him wondered if he would ever be able to stop crying, if there would ever come the day when this terrible empty void would stop eating him up alive. He gently petted the edge of the dark wooden coffin. Simpson went all out here, flowers, coffin and all. Instead of your body, which was probably still somewhere in the Pacific Ocean, they would put your dog tags to rest, and the rest of the daggers put in a piece each. Phoenix had gotten you a beautiful Damascus steel knife. It had been intended for your birthday on the 17th, but now it rested in the coffin right next to a bottle of your favourite iced tea that Penny brought over. She had started stocking that horrific shit only for you way back when and now she couldn't bring herself to take it off the menu.

"I remember the last time we saw each other and I wish I had held on to you longer, had told you everything I wanted to say. How sorry I am, for not making it 100% clear to everyone, including my father, that marrying you was not negotiable. That I thought my heart stopped beating in my chest the moment you drove away in that fucking black jeep and that I swore myself to do whatever it takes to get you back, even if it meant crawling my way back from Texas to you", he remembered walking down that dusty Texas road until a car pulled up next him and when the passenger seat door was pushed open he saw the encouraging smile of his sister's girlfriend. I've been told you need a ride to catch your girl. God he had hoped so much that he'd make it back to San Diego in time practically begging Coyote to go to his place and make sure you wouldn't leave without him being able to explain but it didn't help and now you were somewhere buried beneath tons and tons of water, so far away from his reach. "I wanted to tell you that marrying Michelle was nothing but a dirty deal with my father to convince him to back off from Cassy and Alex", he's shaking his head as he remembers how his baby sister had barged into his house that night, crying her eyes out as she told him of the man their father had chosen for her. He had never hated a person more in his life than he had his father that day. "And I wanted to tell you that whatever you choose, wherever you go, my heart will always be there, beating in tandem with yours. It's been yours from the day you put that newbie in his place at the Hard Deck", he chuckles a little. The guy was stupid enough to ask you if your callsign was airbags because of your cleavage and you had sent him, a guy twice your size, to the floor in such a smooth movement that Jake was a goner. "I have a little something for you", he whispers, lifting up the necklace with your dog tags and opening the closure to slip on a set of his own and replicas of the ones you got each other way back when. "My grandmother told me this ring is special and I should choose carefully who to give it to. And since you are the only woman who could ever be worthy...", he pulls a ring from his pocket, a sapphire surrounded by diamonds and threads it on too. One last time he allowed his eyes to roam all the things.

A Star Trek complete edition on DVD, a beautiful picture book full of the best Dagger Squad memories, a small stuffed shepherd, the pair of sunglasses you had loved to steal from Rooster, a replica of your hornet, a few shells from the beach, a set of darts, some Queen LPs and a copy of the Odyssey by Homer.

Taking one last deep breath he reaches up to close the casket, hand smoothing over the shiny surface, leaning down to press his forehead to the wood. "Rest easy now, my love and I know it might take a while, but wait for me", he pressed a gentle kiss to the wood, the same way he had done it so many times to your forehead when he held you tight way back when his world wasn't shattered and his heart was beating still.

6 Years later on the 17th

"Daddy", the squeal of a girl pulled Jake back from the brooding he'd done all day, pictures spread all over his office desk. He had learned to manage on every other day of the year, but today was the one he couldn't help but feel swallowed by the pain that still lived in a corner of his heart. The pain you left behind since you've been gone.

He looks up to where she stands, with dirty blond hair and blazing green eyes and even if he feels miserable, he cannot help the smile that comes to his lips. "Hey princess", he moves the chair back a bit and opens his arms, prompting the girl to practically launch herself right on his lap. "And who is this?", he looked down at the stuffed manatee she was holding pressed against her chest. "This is Mara. She's a manatee", she holds the animal out to him and he takes her in his free hand while the other is wrapped around his daughter's tiny waist. "She's gorgeous, princess", he looks up to the door where Cassy and Alex stand in the door and he gives them a thankful smile.

It had become their own little family tradition. Once a year they came and looked out for his little girl while he allowed himself a day just for you. At first, it had been mourning, the feeling that nothing would ever be right, but today, it was a remembrance of everything you had lived for and all the memories you had made.

"Aunt Cassy got her for me", her voice pulled his focus back down to her green eyes and the bright smile that she gave him made his heart soar. "Did she, now? Well I hope you thanked her accordingly" "Of course", the little girl sounded almost offended when she looked up at him as if she'd ever do something like that. "Good", he handed the stuffed animal back to her, his own gaze flitting back to the pictures on his desk.

"You should shower before the others are coming over in an hour for the sleepover", Cassy reminded his daughter and he expected there to be the joyous smile that she always had when her friends were coming over, but as he looked down he saw how her gaze was glued to the inside of his wrist, tiny fingers tentatively reaching out to move over his skin. "I thought you were not allowed to paint your skin with edding" "That's not edding, sweetheart. That's a tattoo" "Like the bird Aunt Natasha has on her back?" "Yep. Just like that. Only mine is black and not in colour" She nodded slowly, thinking hard for a moment before she looked back up at him. "Aunt Natasha says she got hers as a reminder for getting through a tough time. Did you have a tough time too, Daddy?"

His heart ached when he saw the uncertainty in her eyes. He had tried to shield her as well as humanly possible from this, but it seemed like today was the day that he could no longer avoid talking about it. He saw in his sister's eyes that one word was enough and she would take the girl off his hands, but he shook his head. She took her wife's hand and they exited the office, quietly closing the door as they left him with his little girl.

"Yes, princess. Those are tally marks, you know. You use them to count somethin'", her tiny fingers move over the ink of his callsing and then down to the two marks underneath. "What are you counting with those?", her voice sounds very solemn now, feeling that this was something her dad cared a great deal about. "Successfully finishing a very difficult flight manoeuvre" "Hangman is you, right? So you got two" "Yep. I got two", he nods slowly, eyes focused on his little girl who sat there on his lap, hugging her manatee closer to her chest while she moved her fingers over to the other name that was etched into his skin. "And why does the other name have four?" "Because Enyo managed to do that four times" "Really? That means she's better than you?", she looks up at him with wide eyes and that makes him chuckle as he nods. If only she knew how much better you had been. "I cannot believe that someone is better than you", there is a short pause before she continues," You think she would show me how she's doing it? I am sure there is a trick to it or some secret..." "That's not possible, princess" "Is she deployed somewhere like Uncle Javy?" "No. She had to make a decision and she chose to protect others even though it meant that she could never come back home"

He pulls over a photo from his desk that shows the entire dagger squad. "That's you daddy", she excitedly points her finger on his own face. "Yeah and you see the woman to my right?", there is sadness to the smile on his face and he feels how the emotions are welling up in his chest. It's not like missing you had ever gotten easier on him. "The one you have your arm around?" "Yes. That's Enyo" "She's pretty" He cannot help but smile. His little girl didn't even begin to imagine what a wonderful woman you had been and there is not a day that passes by where he hadn't wished that he could have introduced her to you. "Yes. Yes she was" "Is Enyo her callsign?", she uses her free hand to pull another picture over that shows you standing behind Phoenix, arms wrapped around her shoulders and pressing a big kiss to her cheek while Phoenix smiles bright like the sun. "Yes", his answer is short but he knows that if he allows himself too much lenience he will not be able to make it through the conversation and she deserves to hear the stories. It was about time.

"What does that mean?", she turns back to look up at him. "Enyo is the goddess of war", he states, the dog tags under his shirt almost feeling like a gentle caress. "Wow. She must be pretty good then", she sounds impressed as her eyes go back to the photos on his desk, discovering you in more and more of them. "Yes. The best pilot I've ever seen", he says, voice calm but tears glittering in his eyes as he watches his daughter discover your greatest legacy. The family you had built with them all.

"What was her real name?" It takes him a second to answer the question when he sees a picture of you, legs and arms wrapped around him, celebrating a pool victory against Rooster and Phoenix. "Y/N" "Hey that's my name" "Yes. When you were born and they asked me in the hospital what your name was I looked at you and I knew that it fit because one day you'll be just as brave, strong and kind as she was" He presses a gentle kiss to her dirty blond hair, mainly so she cannot see the tear that escaped his eye. There is a long pause before he finds his composure and pulls back, green eyes meeting his with a glint of mischief behind them. "But you know what that means Daddy. You have to teach me that manoeuver. I have a record to beat"

Jake jogged up the steps of the Hard Deck, pushing the door open his eyes wandered around the room. It was as full as ever on a Friday evening and he felt that familiar buzzing of voices mixing in whatever just came from the jukebox. He made his way straight to the bar, sitting down to get himself a beer before the others would show up. He's about to order when a voice cuts him off.

"The usual for me and a beer for the gentleman here"

His gaze shoots to the side, eyes wide and his heart skipping a beat. Instead of speaking a word he only opens and closes his mouth, causing the other to chuckle.

"Well, aviator boy. Aren't we missing something vital here", fingers point at his chest and he looks down, realising his tags are missing. "Lucky for you a little birdie gave me a hint", nimble fingers put a necklace around his neck, a set of dog tags dangling from them while Jake still just sits there, staring utterly flabbergasted.

It is the moment he feels a warm hand on his chest that he surges forward, placing his hands on your cheeks and pulling you almost onto his lap while you hold him close by his tags. The kiss was desperate and needy and full of so many unsaid words and unshared emotions that Jake felt like he was drowning. Fuck how much he had missed this, had missed your hands on him, the way your fingers tangled in his hair and scratched his scalp at the nape of his neck... It takes you two a while before you finally pull back, laughing when you watch him chase your lips with his. "Took you long enough, Hangman", you use the same line you gave him when he asked you to be his girlfriend and he stares at you unblinking as if the moment he would, you'd slip from his grasp. "Sorry, my love. I was a bit preoccupied with my orders" "Oh, what orders would that be", you cock your head a little to the side, one arm resting on his shoulder while your other hand pushes a single strand of blond hair out of his face. He turns to the side, pressing a kiss to the palm of your hand when he sees the shimmer of blue on your ring finger his heart skips a beat as he whispers into your skin. "You might know her. Lieutenant Y/L/N. She told me to live a happy life, wherever it might take me" "That does sound fairly reasonable", you turn his face to make him look back into your eyes. Oh, how you'd missed those wonderful eyes. "Yeah. You could say she has her moments", the smirk that dances over his lips makes you giddy and when he gives you his signature wink you cannot help but pull him in by his dog tags for another breathtaking kiss. It takes a while before he pulls back, his lips still ghosting over yours he continues. "It was the hardest assignment of my life, but I think I did pretty good" You lean forward and rest your forehead against his, revelling in the feeling of his touch, the way his breath fanned across your skin. God you had missed having Jake Seresin around.

"I'd go even so far as to say that you did better than good. You did fantastic. You can be proud of yourself and you can be proud of her" Jake closes his eyes and pulls you even closer between his spread legs, making you bump into his bar chair in the process, arms wrapping tightly around you. "I just wish you had been there for the ride", he whispers into your neck and you press a gentle kiss upon his temple, wrapping your arms tighter around his neck. "I was there, Jake. I've always been..."

Standing surrounding the grave they held a white rose each. She had fought tooth and nail that this burial was a private matter and considering that she had been backed up by influential Navy people who agreed with her, they finally gave in. Jake Serisin had sacrificed more for his country than a single person should. The least they could do was respect his last wish that he only wanted his family present when they laid him to rest.

One after the other they stepped forward, murmuring their goodbyes before only she was left there, tears running down her eyes and fingers trembling. She had dreaded that day, the feeling of finality that she really had to let him go now. She moves forward and leans down to press a gentle kiss onto the dark wooden coffin, resting her head against the cool surface. "Goodbye Daddy", her voice is nothing but a broken whisper before she forces herself up, placing the rose onto his coffin before she steps back on shaky legs, feeling a strong arm wrapping around her shoulders as she watches the coffin vanish in the earth. And all she can do is stare into the abyss that swallowed her dad.

"I know it doesn't feel like it right now, kiddo, but it'll get better", a rough voice tells her, snapping her out of her trance, making her eyes wander around, realising that everyone else had already gone. Looking up she found those gentle brown eyes she had grown up around and the soft smile almost hidden by the moustache. She forces herself to take a deep breath before she looks back to the grave where they started shovelling in the dirt.

"Sometimes I cannot help but wonder if given the chance he would have done things differently", she whispers, feeling her fingers drum against her collarbone. "Nah... if there is one thing I know about Jake Seresin then that he loved you more than anything or anyone. He would have never risked that", she looks over at him and with the way he stares into the distance it almost looks like he just saw something or rather someone before his inner eye," Not to mention that even if he tried, Enyo would have ripped him a new one", he chuckles a little before he looks back down at her. "You think so?" "Yeah, kiddo. You never got the pleasure of knowing her, but she believed in the butterfly effect", she looks up at him puzzled, before he continues. "If you change one thing in your past that has completely uncontrollable effects on the present and future and to her that risk could never be worth the reward"

She nods slowly, pulling the necklace from under her dress and wrapping her fingers around the assortment of dog tags on them. "You think he'll be mad that I kept these?", she asks, showing Rooster the dog tags her father had worn religiously every day she knew him,"I just couldn't..." She feels large hands wrapping around her free one, giving her a gentle squeeze. "Don't worry. I am sure he understands that you want something of him close to your heart", there is a sad smile dancing on his lips as he looks down on her before his gaze moves over to the headstone standing there.

"And if he's really that desperate for his tags, I know as a matter of fact that there is someone waiting for him who has a pair", his smile widens as his eyes wander over the names on the headstone.

Love is immortal; and death is only a horizon; and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight

Y/N Y/L/N

Jake Seresin

#my two idiots in love (very affectionately)#just for the record I'm still crying and I killed a whole package of tempos (tissues for the uninitiated ;) )#this means the world #thank you so much #ooc #the writer is talking #reblog

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liminal-storage · 4 years ago

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Introducing Abel, my new resident chaotic dumbass and panacea peddler. Whatever you do, don’t touch his hat.

#ffxiv #Abel Imbertain #duskwight #elezen #i had a character i just never ever played so i gave him a rework #poor guy #i needed a goofball character so i made one #at least i'm finally using that snake oil salesman concept

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borhapparker · 2 years ago

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ben hardy and soulmate + teacher au?

let's do this!! im back baby!

request here! | (UPDATED) list of characters | masterlist (NEW)

fyi: some links wont work as i am actively working on reworking my blog so please bare with me as i remake everything and publish things repeatedly (:

Soulmates were not for everyone, and some considered them to be folk tales. Not everyone had someone out there for them, and most would never meet them. Yet, there was something about knowing you were tethered to someone out there that made it all possible. Anything you ever dreamed of seemed real when the prospect of having another half to share it with was real.

Yet, life didn't stop when finally found the one. And it definitely didn't stop while you were actively looking for one either.

The coffee maker in the kitchen beeped, as you walked over, clad in socks to prepare your warm coffee, which you would end up drinking cold anyway. The teaching lesson you had prepared the night before was on the counter, ready to be taught to your class as you began to slip on your vans, a signature piece in all your teaching outfits. There was something about commandeering the classroom in vans that made you feel invincible, especially when you were teaching high school alone for the first time.

When the principal, your good friend Robbie Andrews approached you about being a solo teacher, after years of working with a partner, you took up the opportunity quickly. It had been something you dreamt about for a long time, and you were finally there.

But now the nerves were showing, your hands slightly shaking at the thought of having to reel in a bunch of 9th graders in the subject of English and Writing.

Your phone pinged from the living room, as you crossed the kitchen, disconnecting your phone from the charger attached to the wall. The screen was lit with a text from your best friend, the person who had been teaching Math for as long as you had.

'Ready?'

'Ready as I'll ever be, I guess. What about you?'

'I'm already on campus, teacher meeting before class starts. Hurry up, teach!'

"Shit," you cursed out loud as you grabbed your bag, making sure everything was inside as you spilled your coffee on the floor. "Dammit!"

Placing a towel over it, you quickly cleaned it up before grabbing your keys and running out the door, going into your car, and driving as quickly and safely as you could to campus. Immediately parking, you ran across the lot to the auditorium where all the teachers were waiting, the meeting barely beginning. Skidding into a seat next to Ben, you glared at him.

"Seriously? You forgot to remind me?"

"Nah," he smirked, "I figured you wouldn't remember so I just wanted to surprise you."

"Ass."

The meeting went on as you took mental notes about protocols and welcomed the new staff for the year. As the meeting was about to conclude, the principal called everyone's attention to Ben and yourself, as he congratulated both of you on another year at the campus. Dismissing everyone, you and Ben walked to your respective classes, across the way from each other as you gave him a hug.

"You ready?" you asked him as he nodded and smiled.

"Hey, where's your coffee?" Ben asked as you frowned. "Dropped it again?"

Nodding, he sighed before smiling.

"I'll get you another, just text me your order."

"Thanks, Ben." you smiled before you both walked into your classrooms.

Sighing, you placed your items on the desk, and picked up the whiteboard marker, writing your name on the board for everyone to see. Remembering that you had made a schedule of the day, your hands pushed the pieces of paper on your desk as you gripped the schedule before beginning to write it out on the board.

That had been a suggestion you had received from a former student, and you took it to heart, knowing some students get anxious not knowing what was next on the agenda for the day.

The commotion was heard outside your classroom, as you connected your phone to the speakers, playing your favorite songs, and your laptop to the projector, as the presentation was projected for the first day.

"Let's do this."

The day had progressed rather quickly, as you got to know your new students in the first and second periods, having the third period to relax before getting your homeroom students, where you organized a game to play with everyone. Lunchtime couldn't come faster, as you and Ben headed over to the fast food place across the way, grabbing lunch and settling back into your classroom, making room on your now messy desk.

"So, how has it been?" he asked as you smiled.

"Good! Seems like I am connecting with them better than I was last year, that's for sure." he laughed as he remembered an incident with a student last year. "Please don't-"

"Remember when you got pied in the face that one time while you were giving the lecture on Charles Dickens?" Ben's laugh filled your classroom as you chucked a tiny container of salsa at him, as it missed and landed on the floor. "That was a classic."

"I couldn't get the whipped cream out of my cardigan after that! I think they dyed it because it only turned all my socks pink instead of cleaning it after I washed it."

"Well, at least you won't have that happening anymore." he sighed as he frowned. "Hey, have you heard anything from your soulmate recently?"

You shook your head as Ben mirrored your actions. "He's been quiet recently." sighing, you undid your ponytail and let your hair hang loose, "Maybe he stopped being such a daredevil and is being safe now, considering all the injuries I got while he was out doing some crazy stuff."

He nodded, a pondering look on his face, as he shrugged. "Mine has been quiet, she hasn't been doing much recently. But something happened today that was odd."

Tilting your head, you took a bite from your tacos as he continued.

"I could hear music in the distance and it sounded a lot like Metallica, which was odd considering the last thing I heard them play was Whitney Houston."

"Clearly, their music taste is amazing." you laughed as he nodded with a sad smile.

"I really want to see them already."

"Me too."

Your fourth period came around, as the students piled inside, everyone taking a seat wherever they wanted as you opened up the same presentation you did in your last classes.

"Good afternoon everyone!" they echoed your welcome as you smiled, "Alrighty, who's ready to play a game?"

They cheered as you opened up Kahoot, a classic classroom game that clearly hyped up their energy as the classroom erupted into louder cheers.

As everyone signed in, you began the game, everyone cheering and arguing when it came to certain rounds. Suddenly, your classroom door opened as you looked up, noticing a certain blonde in the doorway, holding two coffees directly from your favorite coffee shop.

"Lifesaver! Thank you!"

He smiled as you gave him a half-hug before he waved at the students and walked into his classroom.

"Miss Y/n?" a student raised their hand as you nodded, walking back to your desk and pausing the game. "Is Mr. Hardy your boyfriend?"

You chuckled and smiled, "No he isn't, we're just good friends. We've been teaching here together for a few years now."

A chorus of oohs was heard across the classroom as a blush enveloped your cheeks.

"Look! Miss Y/n is blushing!"

"Wait, guys! What about Mr. Hardy being her soulmate?" one student yelled out as everyone began agreeing, trying to connect the dots between your friendship as you watched in amusement, a blush coating your cheeks.

"Alright, alright! Let's get back to Kahoot! I have donuts for the winners!"

The chatter slowly died down, not going away completely as everyone's attention was turned back to the game, some still talking about the friendship between the two teachers.

Your mind began to wander, as the students kept playing, their words echoing in your mind. All those times you felt pain and anguish from your soulmate, Ben had mentioned getting hurt in small incidents at home, wether that be with his skateboard or practicing his drums in the music room. They seemed really distant in the moment, but looking back, you realized it was a possibility.

Having mentioned that he heard Metallica and Whitney Houston being played, you remember playing two distinct songs for your game in first period, realizing the connection was getting bigger the more you began digging into memories with Ben.

What if your best friend was your soulmate? There was only one way to find out.

They mentioned that soulmates have tattoos on their body that their other half mirror and both people share one image on their bodies. This made everyone unique from other partnerships, and you had never shown Ben yours.

Finishing the class, you dismissed everyone as the bell rang for the end of the day, everyone now piling out of classroom and into thier cars to begin the journey home, as you stayed behind, wanting to have everything organized for the next day.

"Y/n?" Ben called out as you smiled and let him come inside your class. "You ready to go?"

"Almost," you sighed as you finished placing the notebooks on the shelf you made for your students, each with their own name and class period so you can remember which one is which without needing to read chicken scratch on the front.

"Hey, Ben?" he tilted his head, "Do you still have your soulmate tattoo?"

He nodded, "Haven't seen it go anywhere just yet."

"Can I see it?"

Shocked, he gulped, before nodding. Grabbing the end of his flannel, the slipped it off his shoulders, exposing the black t-shirt adorning his torso. He sighed shakily, before pulling up the shirt, and turning around, as you let out an audible gasp.

There it was, the mirror to your own tattoo.

"Ben?"

He turned his head and locked eye contact over his shoulder.

"It's me."

Your words did not register in his mind immediately, as his eyebrows furrowed in concentration before realization hit. Eyes widening, he let the shirt drop, as he placed his hands on your waist.

"Y/n?"

You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding, as he smiled.

"We are soulmates?"

All you could do was nod, as he wrapped his arms around you, bringing you into a hug as you placed yours on his back, pulling him closer.

"God, I love you."

"I love you too."

Unbeknownst to you, your students had been standing outside the classroom, peering in through the window as they cheered silently, knowing their plan had worked.

Soulmates were hard to find, and some never end up finding their own pair, living in the world without another half.

Yet, yours was right next to you, for the last 8 years.

You couldn't ask for more.

#ambs talks #ambs writing #ben hardy #teacher au #soulmate au #ben hardy imagines #ben hardy writing #ben hardy one shots #ben hardy au #ben hardy blurb #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy x you #ben hardy x female!reader #borhap #bohemian rhapsody

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sortasirius · 4 years ago

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“Carry On” and...Yikes.

Well clowns, looks like the clown calls were coming from inside the house this entire time.

I so desperately wish I wasn’t writing this right now. I so wish that I could be writing something better, something joyful, something happy about this fifteen year journey with these characters. It seems as though the show had other ideas, so in we go.

So...the dog was cool. Also interesting that Dean was back to his breakup/grieving coping mechanisms: not making his bed, messy room, beer all over the place, Sam making breakfast, etc.

So I guess I better just start off with how...off this episode felt in regards to Dean specifically. Idk why he suddenly wanted a dog and Sam had no real interest in one, since the opposite has been true for, idk, fifteen years, but whatever, I was willing to let it go.

I thought the pie thing was a sweet scene, it was funny and nice and a good button on Dean’s pie thing.

Weird to, you know, bring up Cas and not mention his tragic ass deal and why he got got, but whatever.

I cannot physically believe that this MOTW aspect was, quite literally, so much of the plot. Like...we figured that it was going to be an aspect, but for it to be SO MUCH? Bruh. I am such a fucking fool lmfao.

Again, cool to see Cas’ coat in the back. Too bad it wasn’t addressed.

Jenny. Bitch. Come on. Of ALL the villains in the FIFTEEN YEARS of Supernatural. Jenny. Who was in....one....episode. Ok.

I mean that line about the high school thing was funny, I did laugh at that moment. Fuck I love Dean Winchester.

I cannot believe I specced so much about the barn scene. Are y’all telling me that “The Night We Met” is being claimed by......Sam and Dean. Fuck off.

I mean, I thought Dean was going to die, and the scene actually did play out pretty similarly to how I thought. It was probably the most powerful moment in the episode. I am very glad that it was Dean’s choice, his choice and his peace to let go.

“Let me look at you. There he is. I am so proud of you, Sam.”

I do love this, I love this because Dean is able to look at his work, the man that he raised, and tell him these things. He was Sam’s parent, he raised Sam into the man he is today, and he should be damn proud of that.

I do love this most of scene, I really do, I love my boys, these brothers so damn much, and at least, at the very least, I have this scene of them.

Forehead touch was weird, I’m just gonna say it.

I feel like most of this episode was montages lol. I mean I always hate sad Sam but at this point I still fully felt like we were going to get closure and we just...didn’t.

The Austin number was a cool detail, I liked that bc I picked up on it right away (since, you know, my phone is a 512 number lmao).

What a lackluster goodbye to the Bunker. I had no clue that was going to be the last time we saw it ever.

FUCK AT LEAST I GOT MY DAMN HEAVEN BAR.

The scene with Bobby was nice, it was good to see him. We did get our remade Heaven, that’s also nice to know.

“It ain’t just Heaven, Dean. It’s the Heaven you deserve.”

He does deserve this. An open Heaven, the people he loves, finally some peace, he deserves that, and I am glad that he got it.

Our second Cas mention. Great. Thanks guys.

I mean thanks Jim and Jensen for the microexpressions I guess lmao.

So I am supposed to believe. That Dean. Whose entire arc has been speaking his truth, specifically speaking his truth to Cas. Where he has been stopped twice before this season. Is going to just drive around in circles for forty years until Sam gets there? Yeah, that’s gonna be a no from me, dawg.

And Sam gets married and has a kid that he names Dean, and the unspecified dark haired woman in the back of the ten minute montage is supposed to be enough for me to buy that it’s Eileen? Bruh.

Also it’s BACK TO BACK MONTAGES??? WITH TWO VERSIONS OF CARRY ON WAYWARD SON?

Sam’s age makeup???? Hello???? AT FIRST THEY DIDN’T EVEN AGE HIM THEY JUST PUT HIM IN A WIG?????

That cover of Wayward Son did slap but was it enough? No.

Even that bridge moment didn’t hit right because Sam didn’t cross it? He was just suddenly there.

It just fucking sucks. It sucks that their reunion doesn’t land right because they...didn’t do anything when they were apart. Sam had his kid sure but Dean literally just drove around. No mention of Cas or of Eileen. Nothing. So the last moment of this show I love feels tainted and hollow and just wrong.

It sucks. I’m not going to lie. But the worst thing about it? Is that it doesn’t make any sense. I have not spent two years of my life picking apart the writing rooms in Supernatural, lauding this current team for what they’ve accomplished for it to end like this. I know many of you will regard me as a complete tinhat freak right now, but this, to me, does not feel like an episode that Andrew Dabb wrote. Hell, it doesn’t feel like an episode of Supernatural.

None of the arcs were completed: Dean didn’t get to speak his truth to Cas, Sam never got to become the leader, the legacy hunter he was meant to. We don’t see them with Cas or Eileen, we don’t even hear about them.

Listen, there’s a lot that...simply doesn’t add up to me. First of all, the episode was SHORT, and most of it was montages. They had four montages AND the episode was only 38 minutes. The series finale of the show was shorter than any other episode and had four multiple minute montages. Okay. Make it make sense. Newsflash: it doesn’t, there is simply no way I can believe that there weren’t massive cuts and reworks done to this episode on an executive level.

I know there are people who will tell me that the writers are just bad and I need to accept that they gave me a shitty ending, but after all this time with this story, especially with Dabb’s arc, he just...doesn’t do shit like this. His arcs are always complete, always tied up well, always have a button. But this mess? This confusing episode that left everything hanging with a cover of Wayward Son hanging in the air? It just doesn’t add up to me.

This wasn’t the story they were telling, this hasn’t been the story they were telling all season, and I stand by that.

So, I sure do wish I could give you a better post. I wish that we had gotten something better. I still, after everything, love this show, and will still be here in the morning.

Thanks guys. Love y’all.

#my meta #supernatural #spn writers #spoilers #spn 15x20 #spn #this was upsetting to write but hey i knew i had to

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catmaidetho · 3 years ago

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there’s a lot of things about ranboo’s canon death that just don’t sit right with me.

ranboo killing his character because it got “too complicated to play” is textbook lazy rp’ing and also it was just bad story-telling. there’s a million options before death that you can do to make your character more enjoyable for both you and the audience. like, the most interesting place to take the character imo would be to force him to realize that true neutrality is never possible, and he could have used any of the routes available to him. specifically, it looked like whatever was going on with paradise burgers was going to especially forward that idea. but no, cc!ranboo looked at his character he designed to be complicated and said this is too hard and killed him. ????????

in rp, you’re reeaaallly discouraged from killing your characters if u fall out of love with them. u’re supposed to rework them or swap them out. i understand ranboo faced a lot of real world challenges, a lot of his plans fell through, but there were still options in place he hadn’t explored at all. he just... gave up. it feels like he didn’t try.

not to mention the “oh he’s only ever had one life since january” bit. THAT is the worst. has he only ever had one life, or did he lose them off-screen? NEITHER OPTIONS ARE SATISFYING OR MAKE SENSE. all canon deaths so far have been on-screen. the only character confirmed to have one life from the start is c!phil, which makes sense because he’s the hardcore guy plus phil has lore to back it up. c!ranboo though? ranboo had enough totems of undying to fill his entire inventory and then some. ranboo was the most cautious, careful character. it doesn’t make sense.

then lastly, it’s how he died. all my complaints for that rest on c!sam. c!sam lied to ranboo to make him vulnerable and then tried to use him as a hostage against someone who just didn’t fucking care.

just... nothing about this sits well with me. i don’t like it. i reallly really hope cc!ranboo has like, solid reasoning, because what he said in ranmail doesn’t do it for me at all and comes across as careless story-telling.

#khaos.txt #dream smp #whats this? crow slandering ranboo?#its more likely than u think #i just. i DONT like anything about his death #its awful its bad its uncreative and lazy and uhghhhhghghghghhgg #i really hope ranboo gets to go live to talk about it because i much like technoblade need answers #ranboo #no beloved tag for this one. he doesnt deserve it #ranboo crit

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villainousshakespeare · 4 years ago

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Bobby’s Playdate Part 2

Part 1

The pandemic is keeping Tom idling in London by himself. One positive is that wearing the mask helps him avoid recognition, allowing him to wander in the park with his dog, Bobby. On one of their walks, Bobby becomes smitten with a dog named Lulu and Tom is equally enchanted by her human. Can the Hiddleston men manage to find a way to see the lovely ladies again?

Tom Hiddleston/OFC

Chapter 2 of4

Rated M - Pandemic, Fluff, Quarantine, Masks, Adorable Puppies, Meet Cute, Second Part May (will) Contain Smut

@yespolkadotkitty @just-the-hiddles @hopelessromanticspoonie @wine-and-whines @arch-venus25 @caffiend-queen @devilish–doll @enchantedbyhiddles @hiddlesholic @i-do-not-fangirl-i-fanwoman @kellatron55 @ladyoftheteaandblood @latent-thoughts @gorgeous1974 @maryxglz @myoxisbroken @nuggsmum @nildespirandum @pedeka @redfoxwritesstuff @sinfully-lustful-darling @vodka-and-some-sass @wrathkitty @kingtwhiddleston @wolfsmom1 @poetic-fiasco @shiningloki @dangertoozmanykids101 @bookworm-christina @thecutestlittlebunbunfairy @amwolowicz @delightfulheartdream @frostbitten-written @what-a-flammable-heart @tom-hlover @nonsensicalobsessions @myraiswack @loki-yoursaviourishere, from-hel-i-with-love, @sweetsigyn, @fictiondoesitbetter, @ms-cellanies @evieplease @viviennes-tears @turniptitaness @cynic-spirit @spooky1980 @ghostypau @viviennes-tears @lady-loki-ren

I am so sorry I took so long to update this! First I was distracted by a super busy week, and then I decided to rework what I had in store for it. It took a while to redo, but I have decided to make it a 4 part story. Hope you enjoy, and that the wait was worth it!

The day had started out like every other since the lock down began. Leia had slept late, having no where to go. A cold, wet kiss on her nose from Lulu woke her up when the pup could no longer wait to be let out and grumbling she had taken her out for a quick walk up and down the block. After two cups of coffee and some melon, Leia had realized that after three months of enforced solitude, both she and her dog had gotten decidedly surly. It was time to get out, even if it was only to the local park.

Lulu’s excitement when she took out the little pink and white checked dress had been enough to put a smile on Leia’s face. Really, the small dog was a ridiculous creature, but she could be such a bundle of sunshine. After they were both outfitted – Lulu in her dress and Leia in a comfy outfit and mask, they made their way to the nearby park, enjoying a leisurely stroll around the newly green paths. She wished that Lulu was not too timid to play in the dog run, but after spending a year in the shelter the poor thing was terrified of other dogs.

That was why she was so surprised when Lulu’s tale began to wag excitedly. Normally she would have been cowering and whimpering in fear at the sound of another dog approaching, but for once her reaction was completely different. She jumped up from where she had been snuggling on Leia’s lap and perked up her ears, tongue lolling out happily. When the chocolate spaniel came trotting around the bend, she even jumped of Leia and strained at the leash to meet him.

Keeping a tight hold on Lulu’s leash, Leia let her eyes travel up the lead attached to the strange dog. It was quite a long trip, as it happened, past a pair of long legs in torn jogging pants, a faded shirt that would once have been bright blue, and a plain black mask until she got to a set of smiling blue eyes that made her heart stop.

“I’m sorry,” the man said, “I promise he is completely friendly.”

She had known who he was instantly, of course. No face mask could disguise those cheek bones, the copper curls that brushed his collar, or the baby blues that had sent a million fan girls swooning. If she had had any doubts, one word from that sinful voice, a verbal caress of polite friendliness, would have stamped it out. She had seen almost all of his movies, after all, and quite a number of his promotional appearances as well.

“It’s okay, so is she,” she replied struggling to keep her voice normal and grateful for the mask that hid her stunned initial gape. “You know, she’s usually quite shy, but she seems to like him! May I pet him?”

And then Tom Hiddleston – The Tom Hiddleston! – had sat down on the bench next to her while she petted Bobby and struck up a casual conversation! She had kept her eyes on the pups at first, afraid that if she looked at him, he would see the excitement and intimidation in her eyes. He introduced himself, needlessly, of course, and she gave him her name in a kind of daze. She realized that he had only provided his first name and had the quick flash of insight that he might be enjoying the idea of anonymity. If that were the case, she would not want to spoil it for him by gushing. Uncertain of what to do, she let the obvious joke about her name lead her to mentioning Marvel characters. That way, she decided, he would have a segue to talking about his career should he want to. When he let it slide and quickly changed the subject, she decided that her assumption must have been correct.

Which was absolutely fine with her! She was sitting and talking to Tom Hiddleston! While she would, of course, love to pick his brain about Loki, or Shakespeare, or any of a dozen projects, she was more than happy to listen to him discuss his dog in that proud pappa voice. By the time she had told him the story behind Lulu’s dress excitement she was reasonably settled and could actually manage to look him in the eye without blushing.

She had met a few famous people in her time as a London tour guide, and many of them had been a colossal let down. Tom was not one of them. He was everything she had ever imagined or hoped he would be. Kind, funny, clever, a little prone to talk on about any subject he happened on, but in all a delightful conversation partner. She was disappointed but not surprised when he had to leave, but she didn’t want to be too greedy; it was already one of the most magical afternoons of his life. When he mentioned running into them again, she almost squealed with excitement, just barely managing to keep her face impassive.

Thus began a fairy tale of month for Leia and Lulu. After two days of rain, during which she was certain he would forget all about her, they had found the boys again at the same spot. Leia half wondered if she were simply dreaming, but if so, she had no desire to wake up. They met up with Tom and Bobby most days, walking for hours sometimes as they discussed London, their childhoods, school. She learned quickly that he changed the subject instinctively whenever anything came up that might lead to his career. She could respect that. It must be hard, she thought, being always in the public eye. For her own part, Leia tacitly decided to keep the subject of her book a secret. After all, a fantasy story based on Norse Mythology, with Loki playing a leading role, was bound to bring up the sort of conversation he obviously wished to avoid.

As time went on, she began to forget he was a movie star and just think of him as her friend, insane as that struck her when she stopped to look at it. Oh, she was still absurdly attracted to him, but it was no longer for his stunning character portrayals or teasing banter with interviewers. No, the teasing banter she was interested in now was much more personal for her. He was delightful company, unfailingly polite, quick with a wickedly funny comment or a profound musing on life. In short, Leia was well and truly smitten. Hopelessly, she thought with a sigh.

When he invited her to his home, she could barely believe it. A casual acquaintance in the park was one thing, a dinner chez Hiddleston was completely different. She knew it was in large part for the sake of the puppies, and that was fine. Lulu was as besotted with Bobby as Leia was with Tom, only in this case it was obviously mutual. Leia would just have to be careful to guard her heart. She was not a part of his real life, and she needed to remember that, even if they never discussed it.

***

Bobby started barking seconds before the buzzer rang, his tail wagging back and forth at a frantic pace. Tom, scarcely less excited, gave a quick glance in the mirror before slipping on his mask and opening the door.

Leia stood on his doorstep looking even more lovely than usual. Her simple leggings and long tee had been replaced by a pretty, floral sundress in shades of red and yellow and her hair, usually tied up or back, was long and curling about her shoulders. Tom swallowed and tried to keep his eyes from doing too obvious an up and down of her body. It was difficult, considering the shape of her legs and amount of them showing. Lulu’s yip drew his eyes down to her, and he saw that she was dressed in a purple polka dotted number for the evening, her hair sporting several sparkly clips to keep her braids from coming undone.

“Hi, welcome!” he greeted them, straining to keep Bobby from leaping out the door. “Won’t you come in?”

“Thanks,” she smiled with her eyes as he ushered her inside.

“You found the place alright?”

“Your directions were perfect,” she assured him, glancing around at his newly bare entryway. “It’s quite the posh street you live on! I don’t think I’ve ever been into one of these houses.”

“Oh, it’s just like any other home,” he said modestly, feeling stupid as he did. His house had an electronic gate (that he had left unlocked for her) and a private surveillance system. He knew it was not the usual home. “I can give you a tour later if you like.”

“I’d love that. Whatever you have cooking smells delicious!”

“Thanks. I’ll have to check on it in a bit. For now, though, why don’t we go out back? I have some drinks chilling.”

He gestured for her to proceed him and subtly steered her past the kitchen and living room and out the sliding glass doors into the back. The yard was pretty, a nice square plot with flowers growing along the fence on three sides and one large tree giving shade. A table with four chairs and a grill stood on a little stone area, and Tom had set it up with a selection of glasses for beer, wine, and mixed drinks. A pitcher of iced water stood next to a bottle of dry rose in an ice bucket, and another small bucket contained iced beers.

“Here you go, Bobby,” he unleashed the spaniel who instantly tore off around the yard, looking for his favorite toy. “Why don’t you two have a nice frolic.”

“Oh Lulu, this will be fun!” Leia cooed to her pup, also removing her dog’s leash.

As the little dog scampered off after Bobby, Tom took a deep breath and turned to her owner. Now was the moment he had been waiting for.

“I suppose since we are alone and outside and all… as long as we stay six feet apart… would you mind?” he gestured towards his mask.

“Not at all. Oh, and I got my negative test results back. I have a copy on my phone if you want to see them!” she offered.

“No need, I trust you,” he was quick to assure her. “I got mine as well.”

It was strange – until a few months ago he would have felt tremendously awkward wearing a mask around another person. Even when he had needed to wear one for a few scenes in Only Lovers Left Alive it had seemed tremendously cumbersome and rather silly. Now though, Tom realized that he could not remember the last time he had been around another person without one. There was something shockingly intimate in the act of taking it off in front of Leia, and he found himself feeling almost shy. Blushing a bit, he unhooked the straps from around his ears and took the fabric from in front of his mouth, setting it on one of the chairs.

His eyes fastened on her as she reached up to do the same, the red mask peeling away to reveal a small bow of a mouth, pink lips curved in a slight smile. Her chin was slightly pointed and had a cute little half dimple to one side. Smile lines were just barely visible and added to the appeal of her face. It was a very kissable mouth, he decided.

“Hi,” he said, rather fatuously, face breaking into a sheepish grin. “I’m Tom.”

“Hi Tom,” she smiled back, and his heart skipped a beat. “I’m Leia.”

They stood there for a moment, staring at each other, until he cleared his throat and pointed to a chair.

“Please, have a seat,” he managed to say. “As you see, I have wine, beer, water, or I could make you a cocktail if you’d rather. Or lemonade if you prefer a soft drink…” he realized he was babbling and cut himself off.

“Wine would be nice,” she said, sitting down and crossing one long leg over the other, giving him a lovely glimpse of her thigh.

“Right, wine it is,” he said, uncorking the bottle and grabbing a glass. “I hope it’s alright. My sister loves this brand, she brought it when she was here last, and it is better than anything I would have known to get.”

“Not a wine guy?” she asked, accepting the glass from him.

“Oh, I like a good hearty red with a steak now and then, and I will definitely have some with dinner tonight – I hope you like Italian, by the way – but for casual drinking, I’m more of a beer or scotch fan myself.”

While he prattled on Tom opened up one of the beers and poured it into a pint glass. When the foam had gone down a bit, he raised the glass and tilted it towards her.

“To deepening new friendships,” he dared to say, eyes finding hers.

They clinked their glasses, and he took a long sip of the hoppy beverage, hoping he hadn’t over stepped.

“To embracing human interaction!” she added. “Selectively, of course.”

Well, she obviously didn’t recognize him. That was a relief. He had been half worried that she would shriek, or become tongue tied, or worse. It was remarkable to him how many women seemed to have extreme reactions to meeting him. He was so ordinary! Just an overgrown ginger kid from Wimbledon. It wasn’t like they were meet Daniel Day Lewis for god’s sake. On the other hand, he couldn’t help feeling the tiniest twinge of disappointment. He worked hard at his job, after all, and was proud of the reputation he had developed and of the work he had done. It was strange, with how up on everything Leia always seemed, that she didn’t have any knowledge of Marvel at least, or The Night Manager. Still, some people didn’t watch a lot of movies and TV, or if they did it was more intellectual fare.

They both leaned back in their chairs and watched the dogs play chase back and forth. Tom found his eyes drifting back to her, staring at her mouth. He had never realized just how much a person’s mouth said about them. Leia’s smiled as a default, giving her a more youthful look than she had when it was covered. There was something fresh and approachable about her that he was drawn to.

The conversation was light and easy. Neither of them had been doing much of anything lately, so they resorted to telling older stories from their childhoods. Tom was amused to think of Leia playing with her friends, insisting that no, she wanted to be Han Solo despite what her thoughtless parents had named her. Tom, of course, had wanted to play all of the characters, and delighted her with his spot-on Darth Vadar and Grand Moff Tarkin impressions.

“You were a terror, weren’t you?” she laughed as he described bossing his sister about the correct way to make the light saber noises.

“A bit, yeah,” he admitted. “Emma and Sarah would probably say more than a bit. They had it coming though.”

“I’m sure they would agree with that, too,” she said sarcastically.

“It’s not my fault they couldn’t take direction,” he grinned. “I’m sure you would have made an excellent Han Solo. With the proper lessons.”

“Perhaps you can make me your student after dinner, if we have enough wine,” she suggested.

He knew she meant it innocently enough, but he felt a blush creep up his cheeks at the image her words planted in his mind. Leia in a schoolgirl outfit, bent over his desk flashing through his brain was enough to make him reach for his beer and gulp down more than was advisable. She seemed to realize after a moment, as she too reached for her glass and took a long swallow.

Lulu chose that moment to break away from where they had been digging around the tree and came running over to them, something grimy hanging from her mouth.

“What have you got there, peanut?” Leia sked, sounding a bit relieved.

“She seems to have unearthed one of Bobby’s treasures,” Tom smiled, glad of the distraction himself.

“Here, princess, you want me to throw it for you?”

Leia held out her hand and she happily dropped the toy into it. Tom looked at the toy and felt his jaw go slack and his eyes frantic. It was Loki. Of course it was. One of Bobby’s favorite toys, naturally, given to him during the lead up to one of the movies, the thick ropes of green and gold formed a long God of Mischief chew toy/tug of war combo, complete with horns. Tom licked his lips, glancing quickly at Leia, only to see that she was smiling down at her fluffy pup.

“Oh, Lulu, Look! It’s just like yours, only a bit more loved,” she said with a laugh. “Good girl, saving the handsome prince from a shallow grave. Loki never stays dead for long!”

With another laugh she took the toy and threw it across the yard, Lulu and Bobby both quickly scampering off after it. Tom gaped at her, uncertain what to say.

“You must have a lot of those,” she commented off handedly.

“You… you know?” he stammered.

“Know what?”

“Who I am?” it sounded stupid and conceited to his own ears.

“Well, I hope so since I’m in your home.”

“No, I mean you know what I do for a living,” he ground out, feeling like an utter ass.

“Of course,” she told him, quirking her lips.

“Since when?” he choked out.

“Since the first day. You’re not exactly easy to mistake, Tom.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“You didn’t seem to want to talk about it. I figured it must get old, people falling all over themselves around you, treating you like you’re not even human.”

“Yeah. Yeah it does.”

“So I took my cue from you.”

“I see,” he was completely flummoxed. “And you have a Loki toy? For Lulu, I mean?”

“Of course, he’s our favorite! Poor, misunderstood boy. You know, I am glad I have the opportunity to tell you now how good you are. And not just as Loki. You were breath taking in Betrayal.”

“You saw Betrayal?”

“Twice. Stunning work.”

He knew his mouth was opening and closing stupidly, but he couldn’t seem to stop it. She had known, all this time. She had been humoring him by not talking about it. He was not entirely sure how to feel about that.

“Tom is everything alright?” she asked, sounding concerned.

“Was that why you talked to me?” he heard himself asking. “Why you agreed to come over? Because I am famous?”

“No,” she said slowly. “I came over because you asked, and because I like you. Yes, I was a bit star struck at first, but I got past it. Are you angry? I just assumed you realized.”

“No. No, I didn’t. I… I should go check on dinner.”

“Tom, really, are you okay?”

“Yeah, absolutely. Be right back.”

Turning tail, he fled into the house, mind in complete turmoil at the new turn of events.

#Tom Hiddleston #Bobby Hiddleston #tom hiddleston fanfiction #Fanfic #rpf fanfic #rpf #tom hiddleston rpf #Tom Hiddleston/OFC #Fluff #Lock Down #slight angst #romance #dating in quarantine #future smut #flirting #puppy love #Bobby gets a girlfriend too!#adorable #Bobby's Playdate

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wangxianficrecs · 4 years ago

Photo

Follower Recs

Stories I haven’t read yet, but clearly need to put on my ever-expanding List.

~*~

Welcome back queen [Thank you, it’s so lovely to be back!] if ur still doing follower recs I gotta recommend I would wait for a thousand years by bleuett it’s soooooooo good

[This one was actually recced to me by two different people, the other of whom said, “ Maybe I'm crying a little so I feel like a should recommend ‘I would wait for a thousand years’ by bleuett on ao3.”]... it’s def. on my List!

I would wait for a thousand years

by bleuett (T, 10k, wangxian)

Summary: During the worst of winter, a traveler comes to stay at Lan Wangji's inn. He wears a red ribbon in his hair.

“Do you see the rabbit?” Wei Ying asks and points at the moon. “That’s the moon rabbit, he helps make Chang’e more immortality elixir. He keeps Chang’e company.”

“I do not wish the rabbit for company,” Lan Wangji says tightly. “You are the one I want by my side.”

“And I’m here, Lan Zhan. If you go to the moon, I’ll follow you, I’ll always be here now.”

~*~

I just read a great fic by aisthuu "every love story is a ghost story", didn't see it in your recs so wanted to recommend it! LWJ is a guqin composer and teacher, buys a cheap guqin off eBay which ends up being attached to WWX's spirit from canon era. It's bittersweet, LWJ deals with Lan's homophobia (implicit in a Lan way) and his feelings towards the ghost. This is author's only ao3 fic and honestly I don't remember how I stumbled upon it, but I'm happy I did and hope you will enjoy it too! [I’ve recently read this one, and loved it!]

every love story is a ghost story

by aisthuu (M, 59k, wangxian, my bookmark)

Summary: The man is in Lan Zhan’s bed. Did they—he begins to wonder, eyes trailing to where the man’s body lies under the blanket. Had Lan Zhan—?

Then the sleep-fog clears and Lan Zhan realizes that the young man isn’t quite opaque around the edges.

“You’re a spirit.”

The spirit narrows its eyes. “I’m so much more than that.”

(Lan Zhan buys a guqin off eBay for a suspiciously low price, only to find that it’s haunted. And now there’s a ghost in his bed.)

~*~

Ok so I absolutely have to rec "see you yesterday" by glyphic. It's a wip, but it's currently at 101k so there's a whole lot there, and it's terrible and wonderful and beautiful all at once. The way the backstory of canon events is adapted to the modern-with-cultivation setting is brilliant, and then there's the amnesia, and then there's the time loop. This fic lives permanently rent-free in my brain.

see you yesterday

by glyphic (M, 101k, wangxian, WIP)

Summary:

Wei Ying 21:09 hey lan zhan what’s the weirdest way youve died

Lan Zhan 21:11 Falling encyclopedias.

Wei Ying 21:12 omg no way that’s so rude turning books against you???

Lan Zhan 21:13 A betrayal I will never forget.

On Halloween night, an exiled demonic cultivator and a Lan disciple get stuck in a time-loop, find each other, and try to figure it all out.

~*~

If you are looking for recs for yourself I absolutely love (the complete!) story Just as the Snow Melts by draechali on AO3. It's a canon divergence where everyone lives, even WWX! ~ @airmidcelt

Just as the Snow Melts

by draechaeli (T, 67k, wangxian)

Summary: Like a snowy mountain top in spring the residents of the Burial Mounds trickled down the mountain and joined the flow of society.

“I went to the Burial Mounds,” Lan WangJi said.

“Ah, yeah… I’m sorry Lan Zhan,” replied Wei WuXian, “I hadn’t thought anyone would come to visit. I am still not sure how it happened; I brought A-Yuan to Yiling to play by the river and then ended up somehow teaching a bunch of children swimming and writing along with him.”

~*~

Hello! It's come to my attention that you have not as yet read Grandmaster of Meme-onic Cultivation! Please do! It's the only thing that gave me joy during 2020 😆 like proper belly laughs and disney villain style cackling. It is a wip, and it is long but so so worth it!! The author has reworked the entire canon through these message crystals and still conveys complex characters despite the tricky format. It's just so good!! Highly highly recommend it! ❤ ~ @theladypeartree [Oh! I’ve been subscribed to this one, and know that @swaglexander-the-great is a reliable provider of Hilarity, so I’m excited for it to be finished!]

Grandmaster of Meme-onic Cultivation

by Hades_the_Blingking (T, 49k, wangxian, WIP)

Summary: The Untamed universe is exactly the same, except everybody has magical crystals that have a suspiciously familiar messaging system. The story is pretty much the same as the show, except everyone lives!! (so minor changes).

or in which Wei WuXian tries his darndest to date Lan Zhan, Jiang Cheng possibly has a aneurysm, Jin ZiXuan is still the most awkward human alive, and Xue Yang makes me write some VERY cursed things. Written in chatfic format! :3

~*~

Chomrafy on AO3 deserves love and encouragement; she’s written a body of compact, poetic, and eloquent shortfics each of which can stand alone, but that comprise an intricately cross-referential and mostly internally-consistent universe. They’re grouped as chapters in works according to theme; for example, “in cupped hands” focuses upon Jin Ling and his second-generation baggage; “Departure in Autumn” portrays the last years of WWX’s first life. Follow the tag “Chomrafy’s MDZS shortfics.” [I don’t see this tag?]

in cupped hands

by chomrafy (G, 2k, wangxian)

Summary: Of secrets, of futures, of love. A Jin Ling-centric collection of 200-word fics.

Ch.1: Jin Ling repays a debt (JL, JC, & WWX). Ch.2: Jin Ling and a ghost in the mirror. (JL & JYL) Ch.3: A matter of friends (JL & the other kids) Ch.4: In this house we don't keep dogs (JC & WWX) Ch.5: In the end, he remains silent (JL & uncles) Ch.6: A first night hunt, of sorts (JL & the other kids) Ch.7: Jin Ling, forgiving, forgetting (JL & LXC & JGY) Ch.8: Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling argue (JL, JC, & WWX) Ch.9: Jin Ling and his father (JL & JC) Ch.10: Jin Ling speaks up (JL, JC, & WWX) Ch.11: Jin Ling and a piece of home (JL, JC, & WWX)

Departure in Autumn

by chomrafy (not rated, 6k)

Summary: Four perspectives. A steady march to the end.

Ch.1: Because if anything happens to them, Wen Qing would never be able to heal with these hands again. Ch.2: As long as this is still home, Jiang Yanli will wait as long as she needs to. Ch.3: Five times Jiang Cheng reaches for Wei Wuxian, one time he turns away. Ch.4: Whether the road is broad or narrow, bright or dark, they would have to keep walking. Wei Wuxian digs Wen Qing's grave.

~*~

Hello, hope all is going well. I don't have an ask, by I do have a recommendation. I read this fic a while ago and found it again. I just wanted to recommend this for everyone. Let me know what you think please. Thank you. [Oh! This one’s in my To Read list, but I’d forgotten about it. Mmmm, fox!wwx and dragon!lwj.]

Ten miles of Lotus Flowers

by Yukirin_Snow

M, 274k, wangxian

Summary: He was a mischievous fox spirit, wreaking havoc where he went, about to depart on a journey that would span centuries.

He was a heavenly prince, a proud dragon destined to ascend the throne to become emperor.

Neither expected their paths to collide over the span of three lives.

~*~

I forgot if it was your blog 😥 that recommended “Bestseller” (when Wei Wuxian writes the Xianxia cut-sleeve equivalent of Fifty Shades of Grey, based entirely on his experiences with Lan Wangji, he doesn’t expect it to become the next big hit) (https://archiveofourown.org/works/21528316/chapters/51318766)

But OMG IT WAS HILARIOUS!!! I LOVED IT!! And if it wasn’t your blog, I’m so sorry for how weird this sounds 😭😭😭😭 I just loved this fic so much that I have to tell it to someone 😢 [It’s on my List, but I haven’t read it yet!]

Bestseller

by pupeez4eva

M, 8k, wangxian

Summary: He had written the book to prove a point. It was never supposed to be a big thing, and he certainly never intended for everyone — Jiang Cheng, Zewu-Jun, the Juniors, literally everyone— to be reading about his sex life.

Oh God, he definitely needed to make sure Lan Zhan didn’t find out about this.

(Or, when Wei Wuxian writes the Xianxia cut-sleeve equivalent of Fifty Shades of Grey, based entirely on his experiences with Lan Wangji, he doesn’t expect it to become the next big hit).

~*~

I’d like to rec On Your Marks, Get Set, Bake! by @blackwiresgrowonherhead

It’s one of my absolute favorites and I laughed out loud so many times when reading it

on your marks, get set, bake!

by BlackWiresOnHerHead

G, 41k, wei wuxian & juniors

Summary: Jin Ling resumes thumping on the door to room 721, and the small collection of freshmen starts chanting “Senior Wei! Senior Wei! Senior Wei!” with increasing volume until finally Wei Wuxian opens the door.

“Yes?” he says with his widest, most innocent eyes.

“Senior Wei!” demands Lan Jingyi, shoving himself to the front of the group. “Why didn’t you tell us you’re a contestant on this year’s season of The Great Gusu Bake Off?!?”

Several months ago, college student Wei Wuxian secretly competed in the most popular reality show in the country. The show starts airing in the fall. The freshmen in his dorm collectively lose their minds.

~*~

If you're in the mood for v. short ridiculous fun fic, may I suggest My chain hits my chest/When I'm bangin' on the radio by x_los It's 2k modern cultivators AU, featuring WWX calling LWJ's sword Bitchin' [omg I’m laughing so hard] and I think it's more fun going in blind?

My chain hits my chest/When I'm bangin' on the radio

by x_los

T, 2k, wangxian

Summary: Lan Wangji finds he doesn't even need to call for help for Wei Wuxian to come running.

#follower rec #wangxian fic rec #I HAVEN'T READ THESE YET #wangxian #mdzs

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teawaffles · 4 years ago

Text

There’s No Business Like Show Business: Chapter 3

“Fred. How’s their acting like to you?” Jack asked in a low voice.

They were seated at the edge of the stalls. They could also see Bond from where they were, completely focused on the stage.

“I’m not an actor myself, so this is just my personal opinion — but I think they’re awfully good,” Fred replied.

Jack gazed at the stage with a serious look in his eyes.

“I think so too. I won’t discount the fact that their sets and props look a little homemade, maybe due to a lack of budget; but when it comes to acting, each one of them is highly skilled. I can tell that the performers are all deeply familiar with the intent of the script.”

They were no theatre professionals for sure, but they possessed an eye for the true essence of their art.

The creases near Jack's eyes deepened as he quietly groaned.

“And best of all is that lady.”

“Yeah, I thought so too,” Moran agreed. With Fred included, all of them were focused on the lone person on the stage.

As Jack had pointed out, Maya, the chairwoman, was the standout actress even among the highly-skilled members of her own company.

Although she only held the lead role in “The Little Match Girl”, and was relegated to supporting roles for the other stories, the delivery of her lines, the movements of her body and hands, and even the slight shifts in her gaze — each and every one of her actions was perfectly under her control. They had seen a glimpse of this when she’d stood before her fellow company members previously, but this person on stage was completely different from the one who'd spoken to them at the entrance.

Even accounting for the fact that she had written the script herself, this level of sophistication in acting was not one which could be achieved by some run-of-the-mill actress. Moreover, the lines and pauses in the script had been carefully crafted to make it easy for the audience to relate to the stories.

From then on, the three of them enjoyed the rest of the play in silence, marvelling at her exceptional talent. Eventually, the rehearsal came to an end.

“——That concludes our performance. Thank you very much for coming.”

After her closing words, the company lined up on stage, silently waiting for Bond’s comments. While there had not been any flashy moments during the performance, almost all of them had sweat on their foreheads. Each breath they took revealed the depth of their concentration.

“…………”

For a short while, Bond stared at the stage without saying a word. Growing uneasy at the silence, the company members lowered their gazes slightly.

After what seemed like an eternity, Bond cleared his throat, and adjusted his posture. Seeing that, the company members straightened their backs.

“——If I were to summarise my thoughts, I think your acting has already reached a high standard. I’m sure all of you have put in much time and effort to achieve this.”

Their faces beamed at his compliment. But Bond would not allow them to be satisfied with that alone.

He rose from his seat.

“But that’s also why some bad habits have stood out to me. For example, the witch in ‘The Little Mermaid’: there were times when your movements were too exaggerated. I know that you wanted to emphasise her sinister nature, but the way you did so may turn off the audience.”

“Y-Yes……”

The actress who’d been singled out hung her head, perhaps out of shock. But Bond ignored this, and pointed to another woman.

“Now, you played the main character in ‘The Red Shoes’. I watched your steps after putting on the shoes — have you properly studied dance? It’s true that even some stage professionals may think that it’s alright to just mimic the real thing, but if you really want to make your performance more authentic, you must take the time to learn how to do it properly. Your audience will not be satisfied unless you show them a level of skill that will astonish even people in that profession.”

“Understood!” she responded with vigour.

“Next up is you: the way you project your voice——”

Then Bond singled out each of the performers in turn, highlighting in detail what they needed to work on. He only needed to watch their play once to spot areas for improvement at such a fine level of detail — his eye for the arts gave them all a sense of the former professional’s brilliance.

At last, Bond finished addressing every member of the company. But he then swept his gaze over the entire theatre.

“In addition…… this isn’t your fault at all, but your success today was only possible due to the small size of this theatre,” he said, with some distress. “If we were in a bigger venue, the hall would be wider and deeper to accommodate the larger audience. In other words, I’m afraid that with your current performance, your voices simply would not reach the entire audience.”

Maya paled.

“So, in order to accommodate the size of the venue……”

“Yes. The worst-case scenario would be that you have to rework the entire play. By the way, when is the opening night?”

“T—Two weeks later.”

The entire room was enveloped in silence. Even from where they were seated, Moran and the others felt the weight of their despair: all the hard work they had put in thus far, might just have amounted to nothing.

Even Bond, who had revealed this harsh reality, dropped his gaze and grimaced.

“Well, there are a fair number of productions that focus only on the stage, and do not account for the size of the audience, so you may not have to change——”

“——No, we’ll do it.”

Maya sharply interrupted his proposal.

“You’ve seen how I am; I’ve always been timid and hesitant…… but theatre is the one thing I will never compromise on. Especially now — this is a rare opportunity for us. For my fellow company members, for the people who’ve supported us this far, I want to show them something I’ve put every effort into making.”

“…………”

At her words, the rest of the company nodded in silence.

Even with the actual performance only two weeks away, Maya and her company had steeled their hearts and chosen to start again from scratch. That stubborn determination surprised Bond, and even Moran and the rest.

“U—Um…… Mr Bond, I actually have something I wish to discuss with you……”

Out of the blue, Maya’s voice had grown soft.

“U—Um, if it is alright with you, just for the next two weeks, could you sit in during our rehearsals? A—Ah, actually, just whenever you have the time would be fine……”

Bond chuckled.

Even after being told about all those problems, they refused to stand down, and even continued to ask for help. Their mental fortitude sparked hope in him, and he couldn’t help but let out a grin.

Bond shot the party in the stalls a questioning look. Moran looked to Jack and Fred in turn, before giving him a thumbs-up.

With that, the former flames of passion within Bond burned even hotter. He faced the company members with a determined grin.

“——Okay. But I will be especially tough on you all, so be prepared.”

Then, he called out to Fred.

“Fred-kun. I would like your help as well — is that alright with you?”

“Understood,” he replied, standing up.

“Bond, I’m always happy to teach knife-wielding.”

“And you can always ask me about gun handling.”

“Now that would be helpful,” Bond smiled at Jack and Moran’s jests, then turned back to the stage.

“Well then, everyone — for the next two weeks, let’s do our best together.”

✦ ✦ ✦ ✦

“During a performance, you must be always be aware of three things: the audience, the other actors, and yourself. If the feeling of being ‘watched’ becomes too strong for you, first direct your attention within yourself. Then, you will be able to focus on your acting once again.”

“I don’t advocate the idea of getting into a role. In the end, acting is just a skill: what you should focus on instead is how you are moving.”

“Although an effective way of bringing out emotions is to dredge up your past memories, I would advise you to avoid that. Recent memories are too concrete and vivid — if you must do so, use memories from your distant past. And be careful: if you frequently immerse yourself in negative emotions, you will hurt yourself on a spiritual level too.”

In a small theatre in Whitechapel, Bond’s instructions came forth ceaselessly.

He stood on stage together with the company members: carefully reviewing their movements, even acting them out himself as an example on occasion, and putting in every effort to raise the level of their production.

The remaining two weeks were short, but with their foundations already strong to begin with, Maya and her company steadily honed their acting skills to perfection.

One week left until the show. His work as an instructor had finally ended for the day, and he let out a sigh as he sat in the stalls to catch his breath.

“Good work today — fancy a sip?”

Having watched the proceedings from the stalls, Moran handed him a bottle of water. It was a beer bottle — very Moran-like — and Bond accepted it with a smile.

“Thanks, Moran-kun.”

Bond gulped down a single mouthful of water.

“So, how’s the play going?”

“At first I thought we would be hard-pressed for time, but they truly exceeded my expectations. I think we might just make it. ……Scratch that, we will make it.”

Moran nodded.

“That’s right. And they seem to be well-liked by the residents around here. I really hope they can pull it off.”

As Moran gazed off into the distance, a thought just occurred to Bond. He cocked his head.

“Come to think of it, you really didn’t have to tag along with me all this time, you know?”

Ever since the day Bond had agreed to lend his support to the company, his other colleagues had stopped over from time to time to cheer him on. However, Moran had made it a point to come to the theatre every day without fail.

Moran scratched his cheek in embarrassment. 

“……Well, it’s not like I have anything else to do when there aren’t any missions. As a senior member of this organisation, I’m just here to see how my junior works.”

“Even though you’ve been skipping out on chores at the mansion?”

“D—Dammit, I told you before: I always do my share of the work, you know.”

Bond had said that half-jokingly, but his words flustered Moran nevertheless. It seemed he had not been entirely wrong about that.

Bond returned his gaze to the stage.

“……Thank you, Moran-kun,” he said quietly.

“Hmm? Didn’t you already say that earlier?”

“This one means something different,” he said, with a hint of mischief in his voice. Moran raised an eyebrow in bemusement, but the presence of a caring senior alone warmed Bond’s heart.

Just then, they heard the sound of the theatre doors opening.

As the two men turned to look, they saw a portly middle-aged man with a magnificent moustache standing at the entrance.

Maya hurriedly bowed in his direction. “T—Thank you so much for your help thus far! What brings you all the way here?”

From her formal manner, it seemed this was the very noble who had asked them to stage the opening act for his theatre.

“Ah, you’ve been working hard, I see,” he said as he stroked his moustache, a big smile on his face.

“Yes; with your assistance, we’ve been able to prepare for the performance in time. I’m sure the audience will be satisfied with——”

“Well, about that.”

The man interrupted Maya, still all smiles.

“——Your performance has been cancelled.”

“What?”

No one could believe their ears.

Her expression brimmed with confusion.

“U-Um, what do you mean……?”

“What does it mean? Just pretend our conversation back then didn’t happen. That’s all.”

The man made another simple pronouncement, then smiled as if nothing was wrong.

“Honestly, it’s just as well that this has happened, since I’ve also been troubled over your debut. So what I’m saying is, your company doesn’t have to turn up. That’s alright with you, isn’t it?”

The entire company was still in a state of shock. Then, Bond addressed the man directly.

“Now hold on just a moment. What do you mean, you were troubled? Then why did you ask them to perform? What’s more, isn’t it a little late to cancel the performance at this juncture?”

Hearing that, the man sighed in displeasure.

“Who are you, anyway? Someone connected to this company? I’m not happy to be asked so many questions at once.”

“Then I’ll summarise it for you. If you were going to cancel the performance so easily, why bother requesting Maya and her company to perform anyway?”

At Bond’s question, the nobleman shrugged his shoulders.

“Well, that’s simple. I just felt like it.”

“……What?”

Those shocking words froze him to the core.

“I’d heard about a reputable theatre company in the slums. Since there’s this notion of noblesse oblige anyway, I thought a performance would be a good topic for conversation and approached them. But then I grew to realise that the thought of poor people stepping onto the sacred stage of an official theatre just didn’t sit well with me. So yesterday, I finally decided to put an end to this madness.”

“How could you……”

He had asked Maya’s company to perform on a whim, and then cancelled their act on a selfish whim as well. And this was all decided just ‘yesterday’. Even though they had been putting in every effort into their play.

The nobleman continued.

“That’s all I had to say. You poor folk are living off the graces of the nobility, so be grateful that I even bothered to come all this way to talk to you. Now that I’m finished here, I’ll be leaving. The smell here is simply an assault on my senses.”

Right before he walked out, the man spat out one last line.

“Well, at least you all had a nice dream, didn’t you?”

“………!”

A violent rage surged within Bond. Somehow, he managed to grit his teeth and hold himself back. If he were to retaliate right now, he would be inviting unnecessary reprisal on Maya and her company rather than himself. So all he could do was look daggers at the nobleman’s back as he left.

The theatre was enveloped in a mournful silence. Everyone seemed to have lost their verve, and no one uttered a word. Bond was shaking with frustration.

Amidst the heavy atmosphere, just one man — Moran — gazed upon the situation with composure.

Finally, Maya, the chairwoman, mumbled in a thin voice.

“Um, I’m so sorry. I think, I’m not feeling too well……”

Then, with a hollow expression, she headed to the dressing room, her footsteps shaky.

#moriarty the patriot #yuukoku no moriarty #yuumori #english translation #forbidden games

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bebepac · 4 years ago

Text

Falling For You

I am participating in @wackydrabbles Prompt # 94 courtesy of @rookie-ramsey “I’m giving you one last chance.” which will appear in bold.

This is also chapter 4 of The Meet: To catch up on what you’ve been missing, please click: The Meet

The Book: TRR

Pairing: Liam x Jilian (Liam x F!OC) / Leo x Bebe? (Leo x F!OC)

Warnings: profanity, I think. Fluff. I really think Drama Whore is locked in a basement somewhere.

Leo, Liam and Maddy belong to pixelberry. Jilian belongs to my friend @queenjilian , and all others are my own characters to help support our story.

Summary: Jilian and Liam celebrate their six month anniversary. Leo shows up to Bebe’s apartment unannounced.

A/N: This took a different turn than originally anticipated. Thank you @dcbbw for giving me an idea to rework a section, and @queenjilian as I feel we talk about this series daily.

This keeps taking a turn on me guys. I’m sorry I don’t outline. But I guess that is part of the magic here too.

Word Count: 1496

ORIGINAL POST DATE: 05/11/21 at 12:15PM EST.

He couldn't help but stare. She was so beautiful, even while she was sleeping.

"Liam, don't be creepy."

Jilian opened her eyes looking at him.

Liam’s mannerisms turned incredibly bashful.

"I can't help it. You're a vision. I am completely enamored by you, Jilian Winchester. Happy six month anniversary. I have something for you.”

Jili gasped. Her work schedule the past few weeks had been so hectic she had totally forgotten the date. That night was the first time in several weeks they had actually been able to see each other.

Jili was panicked.

“What’s wrong?”

“I didn’t realize the date.. Work has been so crazy. I know that’s not an excuse.”

He held out his gift for her. She felt guilty.

“I don’t have anything for you Liam. I’m sorry.”

“That’s not the reason you give a gift to someone Jili."

He pulled the small perfectly wrapped jewelry sized box out of the dresser.

Jili sat up in bed, the covers drifting a bit revealing bare skin, to which Liam's eyes quickly fell upon.

"Jili, your body is present enough for me. You are absolute perfection."

She opened the box. Inside was an adorable charm bracelet.

The charms on the bracelet were all medical inspired. There was a medical bag, a stethoscope, a little ambulance, and she took particular time with the caduceus.

“This is a beautiful gift.”

“I see you’re staring at the Caduceus. Did you know….”

“It’s Greek. The symbol goes back to Greco-Egyptian mythology.”

Liam’s eyes flashed in interest.

“Greece has always been on my bucket list, Liam. I’m going to make it to Santorini someday. What I’ve seen of it in movies and in books, I have to see that in real life.”

“And you will. Maybe I’ll make it there with you.”

“Maybe. Thank you for the beautiful gift.”

“Anytime love.”

His lips met hers again in a sultry kiss. Jili melted in his arms, falling back into the pillows.

She could be late for work once.

Liam at dinner that night couldn’t be more sweet and romantic. The flowers, the music and the dancing. He just made her feel like she was the only woman in the world when he looked at her the way he was at that moment.

“How do you do it Liam?”

“Do what?” He questioned her.

“Make me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world?”

“That’s easy Jili. You are.”

Liam paid for the check and Jili booked the rideshare back to her place. While Liam was in the restroom she got a text from the driver saying they had arrived.

“Shit!” Jili ran out of the restaurant, texting Liam “Silver Honda accord “

She jumped into the honda.

“I’m sorry! My boyfriend will be out in a second.”

“Jaiden Brooks?”

“No.”

Jili glanced at her phone.

“I was sure it said silver honda accord.”

“It is.. But there’s also one behind us.”

“And you’re not Chloe.”

The man chuckled. “I’ve been called a lot of names in my life, Chloe is not one of them.”

Jili jumped out of the vehicle barreling head first into a guy.

“Whoa, moonlighting as an offensive lineman?”

“It’s how I went pro.” Jili flexed her muscles.

He laughed, his soft brown eyes twinkled.

“You take it easy now.”

“Likewise.”

She smiled as she walked to the second Silver Honda Accord.

Still in earshot she heard a woman come up next to him.

“Are you serious Jai?”

“What?” He seemed genuinely confused.

“You’re flirting and looking at some random chick right in front of me?”

Jaiden looked exasperated. “Carmen, I wasn’t looking at her!!!!! She ran into me, I was polite to her, that’s all.”

“You would say that now that you’ve been caught.”

She pointed her manicured finger at him.

“I’m giving you one last chance.”

“I WASN’T LOOKING AT HER!!!! Carmen, you're my girlfriend!!!!”

They climbed into the car, and Jili was sure their argument was far from over.

Liam joined her a few moments later, pulling her into his arms.

“I’m glad we have such a healthy relationship.”

“What brought this on?”

“I just saw this couple. I ran into the guy by accident. The girl immediately accused him of cheating.”

“Well…. Maybe he gave her a reason to, in their past.”

“He really didn’t seem like the type. He cracked a corny joke. Seemed really kind.”

“We’ll never know Jili.”

Author’s note: Ohhhh But we will. We’ll know all about Jaiden Brooks at a later date…

Bebe was out in the bar with Leo. Something they did from time to time. They have been a wing man/woman for each other several times now. That night she had been a wing woman for him. He was chatting up a cute blonde. Things looked to be going well for him. He gave Bebe a wink.

She gave him a thumbs up, studying the two continuing to flirt. The girl was cute and petite, and appeared to be hanging on Leo’s every word. He seemed interested, and they looked cute together.

Her stomach grumbled. Was it the foreshadowing of her monthly monster coming to wreak havoc on her life for the better part of the week rearing its ugly head early?

Bebe winced at the pair. Tears filled her eyes.

What was that feeling? She didn’t like it. Had to be the cramps. She shrugged it off.

Her work was done for the night. Leo had settled her tab, and would be leaving shortly with Ms. Blondie.

Bebe headed for home herself, the weird feeling still tugging at her heart, her stomach still feeling a mess.

She didn’t hear from Leo for a few days.

Until he texted her late that afternoon.

‘Sup Girl?’

‘Nothin’ much.’

‘Can I come over?’

‘Not in the mood.’

‘I didn’t ask for that. You know we have emojis for that.’

She laughed.

‘Not tonight Leo.’

Thirty minutes later there was a knock on her door. Bebe dragged herself off the couch.

Leo had two bags of goodies.

“I got you your favorite. Mint chocolate chip, some chocolate syrup, and your white chocolate kit kats you love, and there’s a meat lovers pizza on the way, and I got root beer and Funjuns.”

“Leo?”

“How did I know? As much as I’m around, I kind of know when you go M.I.A, and why. So can I come in?”

Bebe glanced down at herself. She was in a pair of dark gray sweatpants and a Hartfeld Heels tee shirt.

“You look fine, now let me in! This ice cream is going to melt.”

It was the first time Leo had been over to her place, not for sex.

“So what are we watching?”

“The Time Traveler’s Wife.”

“Ahhh chick flicks. Bring it on. I’m going to put this in the freezer unless you want it now?”

Bebe took the mint chocolate chip ice cream, and syrup away from him.

“We’re doing dessert first, I can dig it. So am I.”

Leo liked butter pecan and had brought himself a carton as well. He put the rest of the items on the table until the pizza arrived.

“I’m getting comfortable then alright?”

“That’s fine.” Bebe shouted when he walked into her bedroom.

Leo came back after a minute in her pink leopard print robe.

She shook her head at Leo.

“What?!?!?! I see why you bought it. I like the way it feels on my skin.”

Leo was truly something else.

“That’s probably the pizza.” He went to the door in the robe zero fucks given. Bebe roared in laughter. Leo just didn’t give a damn about anything.

Bebe found herself fishing for details. “So I thought you’d be hanging out with Miss blondie.”

“Meh. Maddy was alright. But she really didn’t have much of a personality. I won’t be seeing her again. Why were you jealous?”

Bebe shrugged it off in a nonchalant way. “No. Not at all.”

“Trying to keep Mr. not all of him is fun sized for your own personal enjoyment?”

She hit him laughing. She nudged his shoulder.

“Thanks for coming over and hanging out with me.”

He nudged her back. “Anytime.”

He put his arm around Bebe and both focused on the movie. Later she relaxed to resting her head in his lap. He softly played in her hair.

She heard Leo sniffling towards the end of the movie.

She glanced up at him.

“Leo, are you crying?”

“No.” He quickly wiped his eyes.

"The tin man really does have a heart."

"It's a sad story okay. Why couldn't they just live happily ever after?"

"That's not the way life is."

"It should be. You should be able to be with the one you want. That wants you."

She sat up looking at Leo.

Bebe giggled. "When did you become such a hopeless romantic?"

Leo softly stroked her cheek.

Bebe stopped giggling abruptly as she gazed into his eyes.

There was so much fire and passion in Leo’s eyes, that Bebe gasped.

Leo’s signature smirk crossed his face, as he leaned in and claimed Bebe’s lips that were in a seductive pucker for his own.

Tags in the comments!

#bebepac writes #short leo #the meet #before the greek meat #trr au #trr fanfic #trr fandom #no royals #trr liam #trr leo #trr jilian #trr bebe #trr madeleine #wacky drabbles #choices fic writers creations

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cardentist · 4 years ago

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I know this is Beyond late to the party, it’s been years since I first started simmering on it, but I was reminded of it a bit ago and I think it’s gonna chew a hole in my brain if I don’t find a way to do something with it

the broadway version of be more chill is an adaptation of an adaptation, the rework of the script and the music and the differences in performance choice gives it a Very different tone despite largely being the same story on paper. and this isn’t necessarily a bad thing ! I’d say it’s mostly a give and take, with some things working better and some things working worse between versions and your mileage with both mostly being down to taste.

I loved the passion that clearly went into it, I was interested in the new way the dynamics played off of each other, and I was drawn into the new additions to the score and how it explored and expanded upon a different side of jeremy. I was waiting for the new version to grow on me, to give me the same inspiration that the new jersey production gave me (or rather, a different flavor that I could treasure just as much), and it just. never happened.

I’ve sat on this for a Very long time, I want to like the broadway version, I was Happy to see it given another chance. but my problem isn’t with the music or even with it being Different, my problem is that I think they fundamentally changed the protagonist Without changing the story around him, which creates problems with how the story comes across and sits with you.

the new jersey version worked, for me, because jeremy was fundamentally a good person before the squip influenced him, and he never really stopped being that person. he’d hurt people and he made mistakes, but when you see him make up with christine and michael by the end you’re left with the impression that they’re already set on the path to a healthy relationship with each other. they have things to work on, conversations that need to be had, but you can Believe in the happy ending that it wants you to buy into.

and part of this is achieved by leaving things up to the imagination, by keeping jeremy Simple but implying more by presenting him as a real person. jeremy doesn’t Want to be popular he wants to be happy, but he trusts the authority figure that tells him that it knows what’s best for him more than he does. it’s this level of innocence that makes him genuinely likeable despite what he ends up doing.

the broadway version sought to explore jeremy in more depth, to explore the feelings of self hatred and isolation, the themes of depression and anxiety, in more explicit terms, they complicated jeremy heere. this isn’t in itself a bad thing, I really like “loser geek whatever” as a song, but it shifted the balance in what made the ending work. a moment that used to be jeremy asserting to the audience that he’s never Wanted to be important, that he never wanted popularity or fame, but that he’s giving in to the lead of something else because he’s been convinced that it’s what’ll make him happy is now a ballad that asserts that it’s what jeremy thinks he Deserves.

don’t get me wrong, this new version of jeremy isn’t an inherently bad person, he isn’t even necessarily a fundamentally Different person. they’re both steeped in self hatred and isolation, broadway jeremy Is new jersey jeremy at his core, but broadway jeremy has pointed that inward turmoil Outward. he thinks of himself as the problem, that there’s something wrong with him and always has been, but at the same time he’s actively trying to convince himself that he wants what the squip is offering him because he’s Owed it.

this isn’t a problem on its own, I really vibe with “loser geek or whatever,” it has some Very poignant lines that gel with what jeremy’s always been even with the shift happening with his mindset here, but it’s unfortunately not a change that exists in a vacuum.

I could pick apart the whole musical and lay out all of the differences, but the change that’s prevented me from being able to enjoy the broadway version is “the pitiful children,” on a musical level but most importantly on a story and characterization level.

jeremy’s change in mindset in the broadway version Very Unfortunately leans into the entitled nerd boy trope, which didn’t necessarily have to detract from it (in my opinion, the charm of be more chill in general is how its characters are all tropes presented as real people, who are likeable because of how Human they are. you slowly grow into them the more you realize this), but the pitiful children just shifts jeremy Too Far into that trope in a way that the story never really recovers from.

the original version was the squip’s villain song where he took jeremy pointing out flaws with his actions (letting people get hurt despite having been able to help them and meddling in jeremy’s life in a way that made his relationships Worse) and convinced him that the problem was other people’s free will. he did this not by appealing to jeremy’s own desires, but by presenting other people the way that the squip had been presenting jeremy to Himself this entire time.

jeremy is a character that hates himself, that was so eager to find a way to “get better” because he sees everything that’s happened to him as being tied to some inherent flaw with who he is. the squip took this and reinforced it, convinced jeremy that he’s completely worthless without him, all while presenting himself as a savior figure to jeremy that was going to “fix” him. the pitiful children is the squip insisting that all people are like that, that all people are fundamentally broken and unhappy but that they can be Saved. jeremy going along with the squip here is presented as being tied to both his own self hatred And his desire to help people. the squip took advantage of his Kindness and that colors our interpretation of him as a person.

the broadway version of this scene is, a shell. it’s a mistake. in some ways it’s built on that same basis, it exists On Top Of what it used to be, but it paints jeremy completely differently. it is, quite literally, jeremy putting christine’s agency under his own desires. Now instead of the squip playing at jeremy’s self hatred, it’s convincing jeremy that christine doesn’t want to date him because there’s something wrong with Her Specifically, and the rest of the school is just kind of tacked onto it. it’s jeremy choosing his own desire to date christine Over her freewill while pushing everyone else’s fate to the side (when he knows that they’re Also going to get zombiefied in the process).

it’s a weaker villain song in general, the storybeat of convincing someone that humanity is fundamentally flawed but can be “fixed” is far more chilling than convincing someone that the girl they like is fundamentally flawed because they won’t date them. but it also just changes jeremy’s relationship to christine in a way that can Never be addressed because Jeremy’s the only character that knows it happened and it’s never a conversation that they have together.

it’s even worse in the live version (as opposed to the cast recording) because jeremy is an Active role in the broadway version when he’d had a passive role in the original. in the new jersey version jenna approaches jeremy, opening up about her own unhappiness after he asks her how she feels, the squip tells him that he can help her and Then jeremy gives her a squip. jeremy Watches her immediately become more lively and happy, with her joining the song and dance to convince him that this is the right thing. in the broadway performance jeremy approaches Her, he offers her a squip of his own accord and he brushes her off after she opens up to him in response. it’s no longer a beat reinforcing that the squip is taking advantage of his kindness, but him Openly Dismissing someone else’s suffering while he’s focused on getting what he wants. he’s dancing and singing along with the squip.

both versions of jeremy were manipulated, both versions of jeremy were stripped of their agency, but only one of them had a true villain arc. but their endings are the same. broadway jeremy isn’t an unsalvageable person, he Can grow and get better and I do think that he’s in the right direction for it. but he and christine are Not ready for a relationship, he’s Not at an ending point for his character growth. he did choose her agency in the end, but the fact that it was ever a question for him makes the saccharine tone of the ending feel Wrong in a way that I’ve never been able to move on from.

broadway jeremy was complicated in a way that made him less likeable as a person but the Ending wasn’t made to accommodate this. the big flashy showdown Worked in the original Because it never convinced us that jeremy wasn’t a kind person. he needed a wake up call and time to heal, broadway jeremy needs therapy. (granted, new jersey jeremy Also needs therapy for the Definite ptsd that he has, but that’s a separate issue).

the broadway version opens a conversation that it wasn’t interested in closing, they left their happy storybook ending for a story that Needed a serious confrontation that challenged their protagonist not just on the fact that they were Wrong but on the fundamental flaws with how they treated and thought of other people. it wasn’t necessarily jeremy’s Fault but he needed more solid character growth than what he was given and it’s a weaker story for it.

I think if the pitiful children had been left largely the same I might’ve been able to grow to like the broadway version and all of its differences, but it’s just the Weaker version as is and it Needed to push the changes harder than it did if it was really committed to this change in direction.

#be more chill #bmc #jeremy heere #jeremy bmc #broadway #meta #long post #king of writing essays that only I care about

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thevindicativevordan · 3 years ago

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Any thoughts on Grant Morrison's Action Comics run? Beyond T shirt-and-jeans Superman being great.

That whole run reinvigorated my love of the character.

There have been numerous thoughtpieces about New 52 Superman, how he worked and how he didn't but these two entries really do a great job of summing up why Morrison's take on Superman was great. Morrison laid the foundation for a new generational Superman that DC completely fucked up and ran into the ground. I'll always be bitter about that, even if I had tapped out of reading the New 52 Superman books by the end due to how bad they got. Editorial and their idiotic mandates were what screwed over the potential of this take in my eyes.

Now I get that it wasn't to everyone's taste, but I cannot fathom how anyone could ever claim that Pre-Flashpoint Superman was better. If you liked Byrne's reboot better, your guy already got rebooted after Infinite Crisis. For someone like me who really enjoyed the Johns/Busiek era, that era's potential got spoiled after Johns & Busiek left, with New Krypton imploding and the awful Grounded taking it's place. When you get to the point where the best Superman book is the one starring Lex Luthor, it's time to reassess the franchise and figure out where the hell it went wrong.

Which is exactly what Morrison did. For this new Superman, Morrison mined all the best ideas of every Superman era to really give what I consider the ideal "base" for Superman. They also took pains to address common criticisms about Superman, working to correct his pop culture image. People have been complaining that Superman is "too perfect", "too unrelatable" for a long time, so Morrison addressed that. They gave Superman his balls back, and let him reacquire that Golden Age edge he had originally.

There are a lot of complaints you can make about Morrison's Superman, but I don't see how you could accuse this guy of being "flawless" or "bland". He definitely had a personality that you could describe, love him or hate him. Compassionate, but not a pushover. Clearly holding himself back, but unafraid to occasionally let loose. Flaws that were patently obvious, Clark had a temper here that could get him into trouble. There was a real showcase of anger here, of Superman being furious at the way people were treated by the rich and powerful, then doing something about it that I ate up.

I read this run just as I was coming into my teens and it hit perfectly for where I was in life. Did not want a Superman who would smile and tell me it gets better, I wanted a Superman who looked you in the eye and told you he felt that same anger, and then encouraged you to go out and do something about how you felt. That was what this run delivered in spades, and it expanded what I believed could be done with Superman.

While it totally blew my mind to see Superman acting this way the first time I read Morrison's Action Comics run, in retrospect it really isn't that different from how Superman has acted even under Byrne. One of the few traits I've seen carry across Superman incarnations in the comics is that he has a temper underneath that affable nature. "Don't tug on Superman's cape" as the old song goes. This run simply elevated that to the forefront of the character again, for the better in my eyes given I believe "Wrath" is Superman's Deadly Sin.

In fact, one of the strongest features of this run is that Superman gets actual character development over the course of the run, analogous to what Batman underwent in Morrison's Bat-Epic. While the Bat-Epic was merely Morrison re-canonizing Batman's entire history, and applying a retroactive character development storyline that culminated in Morrison's current Batman work, their Action Comics run had them attempt to craft something similar for Superman from scratch. What that meant was Morrison attempting to draw on the most important traits of every Superman era and incorporate those into this new take. So Superman had the Golden Age temper, compassion for the oppressed, and cockiness. The Silver Age supergenuis, proud scion of Krypton who cherished his Kryptonian nature, member of the Legion of Superheroes, and participant in stories that weren't afraid to get weird. Superman's wrestling with his place in the world, the importance of Clark Kent, and making journalism a key part of the character strike me as all being hallmarks of the Bronze Age. From Post-Crisis we got that Clark views himself as human and loves his adopted parents, considering them as equal to his birth ones.

One of the big frustrations for me with the endless origin stories for Superman, is that so many of them follow a predictable and stale formula where Clark puts on the suit and is essentially ready to go. Doesn't interfere with human affairs, is modest and humble, restrained in usage of his powers, it's like Clark has meta knowledge of what he "should" be, despite that he shouldn't have any foreknowledge of what a "superhero" should look like. He operates the same way at the start as he does in the modern day, and that's really boring to me. This Superman, because of the difference in powers and attitude, operated extremely different from his "present day" incarnation. Dangling Glenmorgan over the edge of a building isn't something a fully powered and mature Superman should do, but it works great to make his early days different and exciting to read about, it makes returning to that era something you can do different storytelling with. This run is the only time where I really cared that Superman is "supposed" to be the first superhero, because figuring out what that means here is a big part of how he develops.

We all know the common complaint that Superman is "too powerful" and that "nothing can hurt him" (funny how Thor never gets hit with those accusations), so Morrison made sure to show that this take on Superman could be beaten even if he could never be defeated. Events conspired to force Clark to use his brains as well as his powers to overcome the challenges in front of him.

Examples include him using his heat vision to fry Lex's equipment and escape the military, using his rocket ship to defeat Brainiac, and rallying the population of Metropolis to banish Vyndktvx. Not to say that Clark never used his brains before to win, but this run was very upfront and in your face about how important Clark's intellect is to triumphing over his foes. Can't take seriously the complaint that Superman is too overpowered when Morrison constantly showcased how even a very powerful Superman could get his shit wrecked by his Rogues.

Another example of Morrison addressing criticisms is Kryptonite. A lot of people poke fun at how convenient it is that pieces of Superman's homeworld follow him all the way to Earth. Isn't that a bit of an asspull? So Morrison made Kryptonite the power source of Superman's rocket, giving it a perfectly natural and believable reason both for it to end up on Earth, and for Lex & the military to get a hold of it since Pa Kent gave the military the rocket. That's still my preferred explanation for how Kryptonite ended up on Earth.

It also provides a better explanation for all the different Kryptonite variants. DC can handwave away the different types as a result of Lex experimenting or the different "forces" on Earth such as magic or the Speed Force or whatever creating the different variants. That to me is much more believable than Kryptonite travelling all across the galaxy yet still ending up on Earth somehow.

There have also been a lot of complaints about Superman's villains, and Morrison diligently set about reworking them. By far one of my favorite aspects of the run, was the villain revamps. Nimrod felt like a clean revamp of Terra-Man, making him into Superman's Kraven the Hunter struck me as a patently obvious route to go, wild no one has followed up on that or used him since. Metallo felt like a good synthesis of Johns take of him as an Anti-Superman weapon, and the sympathetic aspects of Corben's origin that are always there, I liked that Morrison didn't make him a total bastard before his transformation like Johns did. Brainiac got some sympathy added to him in that the collected worlds that were already marked for damnation, thus he was "saving" them in a fashion. Clay Ramses embodied toxicity as a wife-beater even before becoming Kryptonite Man, and I thought his backstory was a great way for Clark to still deal with "real" issues via a manner he could punch. Ramses is still the best take on Kryptonite Man. Vyndktvx felt like the greatest realization of the threat Mr. Mxyzptlk could pose should he decide to get serious since Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?, plus I'm a sucker for stories where superheroes fight the Devil. Drekken and Superdoom took the only interesting aspects of Doomsday (his ability to evolve and that he can kill Superman respectively), and were much more interesting characters.

And oh my God, speaking of Superdoom, that part of Morrison's Action run has aged like fine wine. I don't know if they caught wind of DC's plans for the character, or if they were just prescient, but everything that Superdoom is playing on is still sadly all too present. What Superdoom is as a character is a condemnation of what DC keeps doing with Superman: killing him off or making him evil.

When you realize what Superdoom (demand for a more violent and "realistic" Superman) and Vyn (WB/DC) stand in for, it makes the frustration Morrison is channeling much more palpable. Those two plotlines are all DC can think of to do with the character, returning to those again and again. Endlessly attempting to recapture the high of Batman and Doomsday beating the shit out of Supes in The Dark Knight Returns and Death of Superman. Overcoming these two obstacles is Superman's greatest challenge as conceived by Morrison, because both are out to corrupt and ruin the very idea of him. It's not just a physical death he faces, but a metaphysical one as well. Sadly it's a threat Superman just can't seem to lick in the real world, with more and more takes on "Evil Superman" coming.

Lois and Jimmy are great here, because Morrison actually made the investigative journalism aspect of Superman important. Lois is an active participant in the story, trying to break in to the base where Clark is being held by her father, competing with Clark for stories (I love how Morrison writes the banter between the two of them), and generally being classic Lois. Jimmy though benefitted from being positioned as a peer rather than as a kid in comparison to the two, something I wish the comics had carried forward. It looks like My Adventures With Superman is going with that interpretation at least, so I hope others do as well. Jimmy being Clark's roommate really adds to their bond, and I wish we had gotten more stories with that status quo.

Investigative reporter Clark Kent was so actively used here that it feels jarring reading other Superman runs where they tend to downplay and ignore it. Following Clark as he travels to different areas of Metropolis and actually interacts with people, instead of hovering above them as Superman, makes him feel human. Watching Clark actively pursue stories aimed at bettering peoples livelihoods, and seeing how those stories crossed with the superheroics, was one of my favorite aspects of the run. It's one unfortunately few other writers seem all that interested in, especially the New 52 writers who followed Morrison (I know editorial probably bears a lot of blame for that though).

Besides all that, this run was a lot of fun! The Legion of Superheroes showed up, their connection to Clark restored, and they got to play a big role in Clark's adventures! Krypto the Superdog! Martian colonies! Memorizing all of medicine, Superman performs a lifesaving operation! Lex using a "bullet train" to knock Clark out! 5-D imps! Rampaging robots from beyond! A Phantom Zone Halloween story! John Henry Irons suits up as Steel and kicks ass alongside Clark! Every Superman Rogue teams up to try to kill him, but Lex Luthor saves his life because that's a privilege he reserves for himself! Showcasing their trademark love for the Supermythos, Morrison took us on a tour of Superlore that demonstrated the depth and width of what could be done with Superman. Meanwhile the backups by Sholly Fisch excelled at giving us smaller, more human stories about Superman (the one where Clark meets Pa again via time travel "after" Pa has died always gives me a lump in my throat to read).

Ultimately this didn't get to be the foundation for the next generation of Superman stories as it deserved. Johns made New 52 Superman the scapegoat in Doomsday Clock for a lot of storytelling choices he did over in Justice League, something that pisses me off to no end. You want to tell me that this guy "didn't relate" to people, didn't inspire "hope"?

Like hell he didn't. This guy was Superman in every way that mattered and he deserved better than to be framed as the scapegoat for all the stupid decisions DC made about what to do with him. Greg Pak was able to do some great work with this version after Morrison, and just like how Gene Yang got a redemption work starring Superman, I hope to one day see Pak return to the character. Would love to read a Black Label Superman story by Pak that follows his take on young Superman.

All wasn't lost however. Against all odds, and Rebirth trying it's damndest to sweep everything under the rug, it looks like parts of this era have actually survived to the current Infinite Frontier era. With Morrison being heavily involved no less, both as an ideas guy and as an actual writer.

Superman & the Authority is explicitly Superman coming full circle back to the attitude displayed by his young counterpart under Morrison. Janin has outright said that the costume Clark wears here is reminiscent of the t-shirt and jeans era of Superman, and this book so far feels saturated with an energy level from Morrison I haven't seen in their work for hire since they left Action. Reaching old age and realizing he never really delivered on the high ideals of his beginnings, it's Superman putting together a team to hopefully succeed where he couldn't alone. Scathing in how it criticizes the superhero status quo, this has been extremely entertaining to read. Wish Morrison was writing 12 issues with this team, and that ultimately it will be up to PKJ to deliver on the potential is a drawback (although I've loved PKJ's Action run so far), but I'm glad to see DC finally treating Morrison and their ideas with more respect than was shown during Rebirth.

Jon meanwhile feels like an even more explicit attempt at redoing New 52 Superman. There's the updated new suit, designed to appeal to a new generation with it's streamlined look. Positioning Jon as a Superman who wants to tackle the "real" issues, with Taylor explicitly comparing him to Golden Age Superman which as I mentioned was an era Morrison tried to reincorporate into their reboot. There's the Legion of Superheroes connection which played an important role in Morrison's reboot. The rumors about Jon's sexuality are interesting, hinting that DC is willing to go outside the box with him in a way they never would with Clark. I'm excited to see what kind of Superman Jon ends up becoming, if he can deliver on the promise of the New 52 Superman all the better.

This run deserves to be remembered and to have the lessons it tried to teach respected. Probably my favorite mainline run on Superman, I hope more people come around to liking it as time goes on.

#superman #grant morrison #action comics #new 52

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dianapocalypse · 3 years ago

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Alright y’all, with the release of Mass Effect: Legendary Edition, it’s time for me to share my playlist for the entire trilogy.

I’ve refined this over like six years so scientifically speaking it’s probably good right. oh also it’s four hours long. so if you have a road trip or a boring job, this one’s for you. disclaimer, it’s entirely possible I have garbage taste in music. I also missed some characters and moments because there’s 65 songs here and I am merely human.

If you don’t have the patience for four hours, I recommend starting at track 45 and listening to the end, as the Mass Effect 3 portion is the strongest in my opinion.

UNDER THE CUT FOR DESCRIPTIONS WE GO!

FIRST MOVEMENT - MASS EFFECT 1

1. Atlas - Coldplay Eden Prime

“Sometimes the wire Must tense for the note Caught in the fire, say oh We're about to explode“

I really like the atmosphere of this song. It’s ominous, but also somehow hopeful, and makes me feel like Something Huge Is Coming.

2. I Will Not Sing A Hateful Song - Constantines Paragon Shepard

“But I was also born and raised To always speak and listen clear To know the last sound that I make Could be the last sound that I hear“

OK, listen, I think this song is about vampires, and I’m not sure if it’s supposed to be a metaphor or not. But I think this is a great song about controlling one’s temper, about knowing that you have to Rise Above the parts of you that want to lash out sometimes to get things done and have peace. Seeing as how paragon Shepard, to me, always seems like they’re three deep breaths away from snapping, but manage to keep it in check, it fits them to a T.

And also maybe they’re a vampire.

3. Hard to Kill - Beth Crowley Renegade Shepard

“So I let the rumors Turn me into a legend 'Cause I'm only human But a good myth is hard to kill”

This one’s a recent addition, but holy cow, I love it for Renegade Shep, particularly an Earthborn or Ruthless, but it works for any of them.

4. We Own the Skies - Five Iron Frenzy Joker

“My hands are bleeding where they often crack The stars will sometimes burn with longing Through the choking black Of night shifts piling each against the next”

This really vibes with Joker’s backstory for me, his super driven serious self in flight school, contrasted with who he is when he can fly a ship. He’s the best pilot in the goddamn fleet and I love him.

5. I Just Wanna See - Smash Mouth Kaidan Alenko

“Mister moon checkin' on how y'all livin' The stars all winkin' at the day that's dimmin' I just wanna see”

This song fits into his reactions to first showing up at the Citadel and his former romanticism about living in space. Ironically, it’s a song about Earth, but I feel like it works well for him. Also, Smash Mouth absolutely sounds like the kind of music Kaidan would listen to, no I will not be taking questions or constructive criticism.

6. Don’t Give Up - Noisettes Ashley Williams

“She's got a talented face and a suitcase Ain't got no desire to go no place In her case she's got no desire with her hand in the flame say's she don't feel the fire “

The energy of this song is just perfect for Ashley’s no-nonsense chip on her shoulder attitude.

7. About As Helpful As You Can Be Without Being Any Help At All - Dan Mangan The Council

“I was thrown in the boat/Cast out to sea Friendly with waves/There were sharks below Hungry for me/So I dangled my leg”

I mean, the title says it all.

8. The Captain - Guster Anderson

“Courageous, just like the captain Marching forward with no doubt in his head”

I have adored this song ever since my friend played it for me, and it’s the ultimate mentor-protégé jam for me.

9. Secret Agent Man - Johnny Rivers Garrus Vakarian

“Here's a man who leads a life of danger To everyone he meets he stays a stranger Oh, with every move he makes another chance he takes The odds are he won't live to see tomorrow”

I have to poke a little fun at Garrus and how seriously he takes himself in Mass Effect 1. I romanced him across four playthrus, I’m allowed!

10. I’m Getting Too Old For This Shit - Kill Lincoln Urdnot Wrex

“This random apathy/I swear it's killing me But I guess it's all the same, till the devil knows my name”

I don’t know ANYTHING about this band, but this song fits Wrex’s disillusionment with the Krogan well, plus, like. The title. (And also, that he secretly DOES care what happens to the Krogan.)

11. Bird Song - Juniper Vale Tali’zorah nar Rayya

“I want to dance on the horizon line But there is something I am caged behind I have a heart made for take flight But I'm low, so low”

I adore this song and the sound of Juniper Vale in general. The etherealness of this one, combined with the youthful optimism, feels very Tali. The line about ‘something I am caged behind’ works well for the suits, too. This one’s especially good if you’re a Talimancer!

12. 11. Green Garden - Laura Mvula Liara T’Soni

“And I’ll fly on the wings of a butterfly High as a tree top and down again Putting my bag down, taking my shoes off Walk on the carpet of green velvet”

I really like this song’s vibes and I feel like Liara fits it well, particularly in ME1, before all her youthful optimism is stripped from her. The scenery descriptions feel very Thessia, too.

13. Feed Me (Git It) - Little Shop of Horrors The Thorian

“The guy sure looks like plant food to me!”

Do you get it. Do you get my joke. It’s because the Thorian is a plant that eats people. (I’m not funny)

14. Blindness - Metric Matriarch Benezia

“I was a blind fool, never complained All the survivors singing in the rain “

I don’t love the use of blind here as a negative, albeit metaphorical, descriptor, but I think this song fits Benezia’s indoctrination and death well. If you have suggestions for another, though, let me know!

15. Technologic - Daft Punk Saren

“Buy it, use it, break it, fix it, trash it, change it, mail, upgrade it”

I just think it’s Neat

16. Watershed - Vienna Teng The Reapers

“ While you were building your empires I was still sleeping”

I think this is the song that inspired the entire playlist. Vienna Teng sat down and decided to write a song from the perspective of a natural disaster, and it’s so ominous and gut-wrenching.

17. Hourglass - The Hush Sound Virmire

“This is how it ends We believe every lie and say we'll be friends How long will it last? Before we scratch all the scripts and we rework the cast “

hahahahah rework the cast get it because you have to pick who DIES

Seriously tho I really like this song for Virmire and that moment of choice that feels like it lasts 100 years on some playthroughts.

18. Pompeii - Bastille The Siege of the Citadel

“ And the walls kept tumbling down In the city that we love”

Throwback to when this song was on the radio like three times an hour. Which is around the time I made the first draft of this playlist, incidentally! It’s such a good Final Battle Jam for the Citadel, and the part about “if you close your eyes/does it almost feel like nothing’s changed at all” I think work really well for Shepard in this sequence. Shepard knew the Reapers were coming, had been fighting them all along; this attack on the Citadel is just retreading familiar territory for them, as horrifying as the war being brought to their doorstep is for the Citadel’s citizens and the council. James Vega has some good dialogue about that kind of thing in ME3.

INTERLUDE THE FIRST

19. Starships - Nicki Minaj The Normandy Crew

Starships were meant to fly Hands up and touch the sky

I like to have a little fun OK

20. Gravity - Yoko Kanno The Death of Commander Shepard

“Am I alone? is somebody there beyond these heavy aching feet still the road keeps on telling me to go on”

Welcome to mood whiplash, it’s my specialty! This is the part where you die. I think it also works for her coma very well, when she’s just drifting between life and death, not sure what’s going on, but something keeps trying to pull her back to the world.

SECOND MOVEMENT - MASS EFFECT 2

21. The Phoenix - Fall Out Boy The Lazarus Project

“Hey young blood, doesn't it feel like our time is running out? I'm gonna change you like a remix Then I'll raise you like a phoenix “

this song has no right to go as hard as it does and if you think it’s melodramatic shut up

22. My Body Is A Cage - Peter Gabriel Commander Shepard

“I'm living in an age Whose name I don't know Though the fear keeps me moving Still my heart beats so slow “

This works particularly well if you romanced The Virmire Survivor, but this song captures the energy of Shepard freaking out bc they are trapped with Cerberus, because Cerberus rebuilt their body from the ground up. That jarring, caged feeling is so palpable in ME2 that when they gave me back Joker the first time I played, I BURST INTO SOBS from relief.

23. The Lady is a Vamp - The Spice Girls Miranda Lawson

“That's all in the past, legends built to last But she's got something new”

Listen. She’s a bond babe. Handbags, heels and pistols rock. She’s got class. This is a song about Miranda. That is all.

24. Kryptonite - 3 Doors Down Jacob Taylor

“ I watched the world float to the dark side of the moon After all I knew, it had to be something to do with you “

This one’s about the Vibes for me. Also can apply to his past relationship with Miranda. I’m also super showing my age on this song, oof haha.

25. Stable Song - Death Cab For Cutie Colony Abduction

“Rows of deserted houses all Our stable mates highway bound “

I really like the mood of this one for showing up on the very first abducted colony, the eerieness and sadness of it all and Shepard’s resolve to do something about it.

26. Konichiwa Bitches - Robyn Kasumi Goto

“I'm so very hot that when I rob your mansion You ain't call the cops, you call the fire station”

THAT COUPLET ALONE MAKES THE ENTIRE SONG. I love how playful and cheeky it is.

27. Seven Nation Army Glitch Mob Remix - The White Stripes, Glitch Mob Zaeed Massani

“And I'm talking to myself at night Because I can't forget Back and forth through my mind Behind a cigarette”

Pretty sure we all had this on some playlist or another when it came out, and it’s the perfect Badass With A Grudge song.

28. Science is Real - They Might Be Giants Mordin Solus

“ And when a theory emerges Consistent with the facts The proof is with science The truth is with science “

This one actually got added by my wife to replace a song that wasn’t on Spotify, but that has the same energy; Hank Green’s “I Fucking Love Science”. I get more into the emotional side of Mordin in the ME3 section, but I also really just love his Hamster On Coffee energy and this song captures it really well.

29. Prove Yourself - Radiohead Garrus Vakarian

“I can't afford to breathe in this town Nowhere to sit without a gun in my hand Hooked back up to the cathode ray

I'm better off dead “

The absolute rock bottom mental state Garrus is in when you get back to him in ME2 is so heartwrenching. Might not always agree with my boy’s methods, but he’s one of my favorite fictional characters of all time.

30. Rat a Tat - Fallout Boy Feat. Courtney Love Jack

“We are professional ashes of roses, this kerosene's live You settled your score, this is where you come to beg”

It helps that Courtney Love sounds exactly like Jack to me, NGL.

31. Defeat You - Smash Mouth Grunt

“Hey I know what you've done It makes it that much better to defeat you “

Only I am brave enough to put two songs by Smash Mouth on the same playlist, to be shared in 2021

32. The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot - Brand New Horizon/The Virmire Survivor

“If it makes you less sad I will die by your hand Hope you find out what you want Already know what I am “

Hits harder if you romanced the Virmire Survivor. Mostly from Shep’s perspective. This is a Shep that feels Bad after that encounter rather than Mad, so Your Mileage May Vary.

33. Violet Stars Happy Hunting! - Janelle Monae Tali’zorah vas Neema

“I'm an alien from outer space I'm a cyber-girl without a face a heart or a mind”

I just like the vibes of this one for Tali! I know it’s more about an actual AI but...IDK. I like it. So there.

34. Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd Thane Krios

“There is no pain you are receding A distant ship smoke on the horizon”

This song works both on a Literal level with his Kepral’s syndrome struggles, but also Metaphorical re: his Battle Sleep. Plus, Thane is a dad, so he gets Dad Rock.

35. My Medea - Vienna Teng Samara

“For I have made her prison be Her every step away from me And this child I would destroy If you tried to set her free “

Mom of the year award, here

36. Toxic - Britney Spears Morinth

“There's no escape, I can't wait I need a hit, baby, give me it You're dangerous, I'm loving it”

If Morinth weren’t so under-utilized after recruitment and didn’t get killed off in the background of ME3 I’d probably actually recruit her sometimes. I almost did on my most recent playthru bc that Shepard just HATES SPACE COPS. Anyway the song explains itself

37. Turn me On - David Guetta feat. Nicki Minaj EDI/The Collector Attack

“My body needs a hero Come and save me Something tells me you know how to save me”

I know this song is a metaphor but also it works really well both literally and metaphorically for Joker saving EDI

38. Robots - Dan Mangan Legion

“Robots need love too They want to be loved by you “

The Geth just want to live peacefullyyyyyy

39. Be Still - The Killers Love Interest Theme

“Be still / someday you’ll leave fearlessness on your sleeve”

This song works so well for the night before Omega-4. If you had an ME2 love interest, anyway. Also “fearlessness on your sleeve” is one of my favorite set of words ever written.

40. No Cars Go - Arcade Fire The Omega-4 Relay

“We know a place no spaceships go We know a place where no subs go “

This one’s pretty literal.

41. Rocketman - Elton John Suicide Mission

“ And I think it's gonna be a long, long time 'Til touchdown brings me 'round again to find I'm not the man they think I am at home “

I like sneaking some Classics onto my playlists, and I think this is how I generally approach Shepard’s mindset during the Suicide Mission, mostly the chorus. I’m also a sucker for ballads during action sequences. This one isn’t a perfect 1:1 but the Vibes check out.

42. Blast Off - David Guetta feat. Kaz James The Normandy Crew

“Got all my people with me And none of us give a fuck So put dem hands up higher Let's smash this party up”

You have to imagine they partied HARD after recovering from Suicide Mission, but before Shep got arrested, right??? This is the Starships for ME2.

INTERLUDE THE SECOND

43. I’m Not Your Hero - Tegan and Sara Liara T’soni

“ Feeling like I am now lighting up the hall I was used to standing in the shadow of a damaged heart Learning all I know now, losing all I did I never used to feel like I'd be standing so far ahead “

This feels like a good coming of age moment for Liara, as she copes with the choices she made in the 2 years of Shepard’s death (giving them to Cerberus), losing Feron, etc. This is her coming into her own as the Shadow Broker. She’s not meant to be an uncomplicated Big Damn Hero, but she can do good from this position.

44. The Well and the Lighthouse - Arcade Fire The Alpha Relay Incident

“I'm serving time All for a crime I did commit You want the truth? You know I'd do it all again“

These opening lines I feel capture the Alpha Relay Incident really well, and how Shepard did what they HAD to do there, and would do it again, but it still feels like shit. I always wished there was more choice on that mission, but also, having something like that happen without player agency is interesting. Shepard is at their most interesting, I think, in times where we DON’T have a say in what happens to them.

45. Reignite - Malukah Commander Shepard

“Crush my heart into embers, and I will reignite”

Is it cheating to use a Mass Effect fan song on my playlist? I certainly don’t think so, and this is the best Mass Effect fan song ever written.

THIRD MOVEMENT - MASS EFFECT 3

46. This Is War - Thirty Seconds to Mars Leaving Earth

“It's the moment of truth, and the moment to lie The moment to live and the moment to die The moment to fight, the moment to fight To fight, to fight, to fight “

It feels Too Easy to use this here but I’m gonna anyway. You’ve seen AMVs of this set to everything. It’s the ending song of DA:O. It’s the quintessential World At War song.

47. Battleborn - The Killers James Vega

“Up against the wall There's something dying on the street When they knock you down You're gonna get back on your feet”

James Vega is massively underrated and I will love him til I’m cold in the ground. Aro icon.

48. Handlebars - Flobots The Illusive Man

“I can hand out a million vaccinations Or let 'em all die of exasperation Have 'em all healed of their lacerations Have 'em all killed by assassination”

The way this song escalates fits TIM and Cerberus’s fall back into being Just Full On Evil really well. Perfect song for a power trip.

49. Here I Dreamt I Was An Architect - The Decemberists The Virmire Survivor

“And I am nothing of a builder But here I dreamt I was an architect And I built this balustrade To keep you home, to keep you safe From the outside world”

I like this song for how the Virmire Survivor feels about their survivor’s guilt and also about Shepard. I honestly wish they were both more heavily utilized in ME2 and 3, but I realize it’s hard to write a ton of content for characters who just aren’t in half of all peoples’ playthrus.

50. Heaven Knows - The Pretty Reckless Grisson Academy

“One, two, three and four, the devil's knocking at your door Caught in the eye of a dead man's lie Show your life with your head held high“

This song is so perfect for Jack and her biotic kids that she’s one of the only returning characters that gets her own song on this playlist

51. The Great Fire - OK Go Javik

“But when the flames die down, and everything is gone, Will there be fire under the ashes still?”

Self explanatory. Javik is the fire remaining under the ashes.

52. Bring the Hammer Down - Paragon Priority: Tuchanka/Kalros

“ Hammer strikes the anvil A rage that breaks the chain Strikes down like a lightening In our ranks “

KALROOOOOS

53. Wake Up - Arcade Fire Curing The Genophage/Mordin Solus

“If the children don't grow up, Our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up. We're just a million little gods causin' rain storms, turnin' every good thing to Rust I guess we'll just have to adjust”

I just really love this song as an image of Mordin’s spirit looking out over Tuchanka as the genophage cure is dispersed, and watching over future generations. If you didn’t cure the genophage, how dare you. No song for you.

Anyway started tearing up listening to this one while writing the description don’t look at me

54. Ballad of a Politician - Regina Spektor Councillor Udina/Priority Citadel 2

“A man inside a room is shaking hands with other men This is how it happens/Our carefully laid plans”

traitor

55. Cyborgs vs. Robots - Ludo The Geth-Quarian War

“But your iron fist will never knock me down 'Cause I'm powered By a conscious right to conduct my life without fear.”

This is probably a bit silly for this awful war. But also. It does fit. You can’t tell me it doesn’t. Just save them both at the end and you can feel fine having some fun with it!

56. Artificial Heart - Jonathan Coulton The Geth

“It's not a real heart It is a real artificial heart”

Just a little fun with the Geth! This works best with Reaper Upgrades.

57. With A Little Help From My Friends - Joe Anderson, Jim Sturgess The Citadel DLC

“What do you see when you turn out the light? I can't tell you, but I know it's mine

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends”

I happen to prefer this version to any other because of how much fun it sounds like they’re having

58. Dark In Here - The Mountain Goats Priority: Earth

“Steal away at sundown, pick a place to hide Check for signs of ambush, hunker down inside Tired of running, tired of never standing still Hear them riding up the hill“

You know I had to get the Goats in here. Would it be a fan playlist if there wasn’t one?

59. Adieu - Yoko Kanno Leaving your Love Interest/Shepard and the Beam

“My love for you burns deep inside me / So strong Embers of times we had And now, here I stand / Lost in a memory I see your face, and smile”

...do I need to say more than that?

60. My Way (Minor Key) - Chase Holfelder The Indoctrination of The Illusive Man

“Regrets, I've had a few/But then again, too few to mention I did what I had to do/I saw it through, without exemption“

This cover takes this song from something I tolerate when I hear it to one of my FAVORITE songs. The frenzied way he sings the “through it all” verse is PEAK Indoctrinated TIM.

61. I’m Alive - Disturbed Refusal

“There will never be a reason why I will surrender to your advice To change myself, I'd rather die/Though they will not understand”

Honestly I didn’t “get” the Refusal ending until I heard this song, then I was like, OH, I SEE IT ALL SO CLEARLY NOW. This is my favorite in-universe Shepard take on the Refusal ending. I always got it from the player’s perspective of being dissatisfied with the options, but this one puts it into the world for me. This is a Shepard who does not trust the Starchild. This is a Shepard that chooses to end things on their own terms rather than submit to their designs.

62. Machine - Regina Spektor Control

“I collect my moments Into a correspondence With a mightier power Who just lacks my perspective And who lacks my organics And who covets my defects “

I used to have Adieu here, actually, because like Refusal, I didn’t used to GET the Control ending. Now, I do, in part thanks to hearing this song. I mean, just go look at the full lyrics. If this song hadn’t been written years before the end of Mass Effect 3, I’d swear it was a fan song for it.

63. Maybe Tomorrow - Yuki Kajiura Destroy

“The moon is gone And the night is still so dark I'm a little bit afraid of tomorrow“

I’m a Destroy Ending person, I won’t lie. Full on “the starchild is a liar and my synthetic friends are FINE” indoctrination theory level destroy ending. But this song is not about that. It’s about the canonical destroy ending, and if you prefer a Shep that survives it, this song’s for you.

This song captures the exhaustion and melancholy of the end of a long journey so well. Shepard is afraid of what comes next, the collateral damage resulting from their actions. But they know that, at least, it’s over now. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

64. Waiting For the End - Linkin Park Synthesis

“ I know what it takes to move on I know how it feels to lie All I wanna do is trade this life for something new Holding on to what I haven't got”

This is one of my favorite songs of all time. The hardest part of ending is starting again. Oof. Gets me every single time. Shepard finding the resolve to sacrifice themself for the hope of something better, of things not going how they planned, ever, of learning to make peace with that and the people who loved them learning to carry on without them? OOF.

65. Shine - Vienna Teng Epilogue

“Shine with all the untold Hold the light given unto you Find the love to unfold In this broken world we choose“

Vienna Teng is a master of capturing life’s softer emotions, and this fits perfectly with the epilogue scene for me. Tell me again about the Shepard.

“Find the love to unfold in this broken world we choose” has to be one of the greatest lines about the human experience ever written.

#mass effect #mass effect legendary edition #no one's gonna listen to this #but i need the world to know it exists #it took me as long as the playlist is to put this together

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