#i guess it just seems like such wasted potential and like theyre taking all of it for granted..the opportunity i mean

[waitineedaname]

shoes in FMA rated on how comfortable they'd be to fight in

Edward Elric

considering Ed's uhhh very distinct taste in aesthetics, these could be a lot worse. they look relatively comfortable and don't seem like they'd be difficult to move around in. they are platforms though, which I imagine makes things more difficult. I'll be generous and give these a 7/10

Most of the Amestrian military

pretty much everyone in uniform wears the same shoes, so I'm lumping them all together. these are Roy's, if that matters. they look fine. I imagine that because it is part of a military uniform, it's designed to be moved around in and worn for hours on end, so ideally they're relatively comfortable. it doesn't look like there's much traction, but they're usually fighting on flat surfaces so whatever. 8/10

Fu and Lan Fan

these shoes fucking rule. the picture I've included is Lan Fan's, but they wear p much the same shoes. I fucking love these things. they have spikes. Edward Elric fucking wishes. considering this seems to be part of the bodyguard uniform, I'd imagine they're as easy to run around in as the military shoes, if not better since they're expected to be doing martial arts in them. but most importantly, they have spikes. 10/10, no notes.

Ling and Mei

on the topic of doing martial arts, both Ling and Mei wear these.... I'm not sure what they are. flats? slippers? it's unclear. (EDIT: they are apparently Kung Fu shoes!) they seem relatively easy to move around in I guess since they're not very cumbersome and both Ling and Mei rely on being very nimble. they look like they have absolutely no support in the soles though, which is gonna get painful after a certain point. also depending on what fabric they're made of, they could definitely start chafing. I've worn flats. I know that hell. 7/10 for the potential blisters, but at least they're designed specifically for martial arts

Greedling and Bradley

it's hard to get a good shot in this scene because neither of them stop moving, but I swear to god, they're fighting in dress shoes. I cannot stand them. this CANNOT be comfortable. I know Greed prioritizes aesthetics over function so this was probably a compromise between his and Ling's tastes but ohhh my god. he was probably wasting so much of the philosopher's stone just passively healing the million blisters on his feet from running around in these things. there's a chance Bradley is wearing the military uniform shoes but I think he was in more formal dress when he got blown the fuck up, so I don't think so. no wonder he complains about being sore, quit running around in dress shoes you fucking moron. 4/10.

Greed

THESE FUCKING THIIIIIIIINGS. WHY ARE THEY POINTY AT THE END. WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE SOMEONE HIT HIS FOOT WITH A MALLET AND FLATTENED THEM. he's so dumb. I love him. looking at these things tells me he would probably wear goth cowboy boots if he could, and tbh that would probably look better. 3/10 for Greed's overall silly as hell fashion sense

Lust

okay. the heels make sense considering her whole vibe. however. these are part of her fucking BODY. when she gets incinerated, they grow back. can she even take them off???? I'm scared to ask. I guess if theyre part of her body, she doesn't have to worry about adjusting to balancing in them like you would normally with heels, but oh my god. she can never wear normal shoes. I would also be murderous if I had to wear heels all the time. 4/10.

Father and Izumi

guys. these are sandals. it has been four hundred years and Father is still wearing the same outfit he was wearing in the damn desert. find a new outfit man. Izumi is apparently wearing bathroom slippers (hence the WC) so idk why she's even wearing those out of the house. Father gets 0/10 and Izumi gets 1/10 because she still manages to kick everyone's asses while wearing these, so respect

Envy

PUT YOUR FUCKING TOES AWAY. -10000000/10

[compacflt]

Did your Ice and Mav like *genuinely* not care whether the other was flirting-with/sleeping-with other people on the side, during their golden-period in the nineties, when they were both working at Miramar: living in the same house, sharing their lives, raising their kid? ‘Cause Ice explicitly states that ‘he only wants it when the opportunity presents itself, but every other time he couldn’t care less: Mav could be fucking the little green men on Mars’, and Mav is all but catapulting Ice into the direction of any woman he thinks Ice might like, just hoping Ice sticks the landing. On the face of it, both of them seem to be operating under the implicit assumption that their life together is temporary, right up-til and even beyond Ice’s promotion to RADM, and his departure. But then, after Carole’s death, when their relationship has crumbled ‘round their ears, Ice does seem to be bothered by Mav’s in-your-face flirting with the waiter, and the radar-techs, and the WSOs, and the anonymous-individual he brought back home that one time, and Ice even thinks to himself, that it doesn’t matter whether that person’s a woman/a man, ‘cause I guess: either way, it doesn’t change the fact that Mav’s with someone who isn’t *him*. So, what I really wanted to know is: was Ice sub-consciously fooling himself, when he thought that he’d be *totally* okay with Mav finding someone else to be with—a woman/another man—or would he really have given Mav his blessings to move-on with someone else, made it easy for him, and quietly walked out of his life?

ice would’ve been fine if mav found someone else. like, good for mav. Ice HIMSELF would not have been fine. single for the rest of his life. he was too late to take the shot in settling down & getting married to a woman. Now, how do you explain to a serious womanly wife candidate the 10-year gap (during which you were fucking/falling in love with another man) between your last serious relationship & this one? And how do you explain the off-the-charts levels of fucked-up you are from this hidden decade-long sexual/romantic relationship that you literally can’t talk about without scaring off any potential date/fucking your career? this is a little cliche but mav has truly ruined ice for anyone else. not because he loves mav so much but because they are both sooooo fucked up, and for the exact same reasons and the exact same secrets, that theyre literally the only people on Earth who understand each other.

no neither of them care about the cheating/“open relationship,” because 1. Ice wishes it wasn’t happening/feels like he’s wasting mav’s time 2. Mav is down for anything (definitely suggested threesomes on multiple occasions) 3. they both KNOW 100% that they’re both so fucked up that at the end of the day, for better or worse, they’re coming back to each other. (the reason ice was such a mess during their breakup was because it was not eminently obvious they would come back to each other. and then where would he go?) And they’re completely exclusive post-getting-back-together (too old to have that much casual sex, and also finally figured out that they super-unfortunately only want each other) so whatever. also, i think in the 90s, mavs “let’s get ice a girlfriend” campaign was kind of like a tongue-in-cheek way for him to rib ice— “we still have to keep up appearances, but you KNOW you wanna fuck me more than any of the girls here. You KNOW it’s me you’re really going to be fucking tonight.”

[doebt]

tbh its kind of making me sad this whole wedding thing. ik to each their own but everyone seems extremely caught up in the minute details and decor and stuff it seems very ehhhmmm idk how to explain it..and VERY caught up in the photos and documentation of this all, ik thats a mormon thing, well ALL of this is a mormon thing, but it just makes me sad, like do you even love eachother..but they have SO firmly been orchestrating this, her bf didnt even choose the date to propose, the family has just told him when to do it, and kayla also knows this, there is no element of surprise or romance to any of it..Man to each their own though

[just-like-playing-tag]

aaaaaaa okay i just watched the new episode and im so curious about how theyre going to handle the rest of this arc? you always have really good takes so i was wondering what your thoughts were!! bunkerman is such an important character in this part of the story, it seems like they cant cut him out entirely????so where is he!!!

~ Sorry for the late answer, I kept procrastinating writing my thoughts because I knew this would have turned out to be long ahah ~

Thank you for the compliments, I'm flattered!!! Tho I doubt I will be of great help, I feel like I'm lost at sea ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But I'll do my best!!!

First of all, I'd want to point out that, as of now, I'm confident they will not cut Bunkerman and Goldy Pond off the plot. Goldy Pond is a strong and solid arc that I'm sure received a positive response from SJ readers while it was on going; once it's animated, the anime will be completed of the action that has so far been lacking. As for Bunkerman, in the Shounen Jump's tpn popularity polls he earned 16th and 7th place, which makes me think he's fairly popular. His presence adds a very nice twist to the plot: not only he's the first male adult we see; even though he doesn't side with demons, he's still hostile to the children, which comes off as very surprising to the reader / watcher (and builds up to how Andrew and later the whole Ratri clan will persecute them, introducing the aspect that not all humans on the outside are their friends). Additionally, he is the first character to help build up the theme that Emma is not only going to help her friends and family, but also her enemies, which puts the basis of her character development and her decision to save all the demons and mamas. Moreover: how people have already pointed out, Bunkerman has also a very important role as representing the “what-if” version of the children, as showed in chapter 177:

His character has a very poignant role, as he's revealed to have a very tragic backstory: his story consolidates the cruelty of the world they live in, which is a main theme of tpn, and the way it's ultimately revealed how the children saved his life and gave him the chance to start living again comes to the viewer as extremely moving.

To sum up, he's too much of a great character to be omitted- they're not going to have all that great potential go to waste. His character development and personal growth is too powerful to be thrown away, and I refuse to believe they will (I'm going through chapter 109 again after a long time and I'm getting a little emotional :')

So next up is when we're going to see him, right? I doubt it is going to be soon. My guesses are that he'll show up either in the second half of the season, or even at the very end as teasing for an eventual following season.

The conditions in which the children have found the shelter unsettle me. The shelter confuses me so much, because things simply don't add up. If Bunkerman and his friends have already been there, then why Minerva's letter is still hanging there, unopened. On the opposite, if they have never been there, then that doesn't explain the cookies, which are a clear wink to manga readers, nor the scratched room. I'm confused, because these elements just aren't coherent with each other, and that makes me uneasy. I'd exclude that the Glory Bell escapees didn't open the letter, or that a Minerva supporter came back and placed a new one, but then again those elements really don't make any sense? Any that I can understand anyway- I hope they'll come up with a good explanation in the next episosodes.

Back to why I don't think Bunkerman will show up in the next episodes: several elements from the shelter make me think that. The most evident is obviously the rotten cookies. If he's just out hunting, and he usually lives in the shelter, then I don't see why he would keep those moldy biscuits (if not to commemorate his comrades? Dunnot). Besides, the shelter as for how it's been displayed seems to have not been inhabited for a long time: all the crockery was neatly placed; besides from the biscuits, there was not a single hint of people living or having lived there like the food we saw in the manga- if there had been, the children would have surely noticed. Again, that confuses me. Everything is perfectly tidy and clean, making it more similar to the untouched, neat shelter the Glory Bell escapees found when they arrived there for the first time- except for a conveniently scratched room? Isn't that weird that the room and the biscuits are the very only hint that somebody has been there before? But I'm digressing.

Other things that make me think Bunkerman is not going to show up: the children are learning everything on their own. There won't be Bunkerman to show them the armory, to talk about the limited resources and stuff. I believe that them finding about all these things on their own is a further proof that the kids aren't going to meet him soon.

I don't know how the children are going to meet Bunkerman. I'll be frank, I'm very worried, because for the way the children meet Bunkerman to be as it is is of great importance for his character and character development; I worry to make them meet in a different context is likely to have negative consequences to his character growth.

Shifting back to Goldy Pond, I don't think we're getting there any time soon either? There was no hint to A08-63 in the letter. My personal guess is that the "Poachers" skretch was replaced with "help" because we're not getting any poacher this season, and they didn't want to introduce so early an element that is not going to be explained in this season. Of course "Minerva" could reveal it in their phone call- but then why not mention it at all in the letter, besides from ending the episode with a cliff hanger? Furthermore: would it make sense to introduce Goldy Pond before Bunkerman? Goldy Pond wouldn't be the same without him- besides the fact that it would be hard to integrate the story of Lucas and the other Glory Bell escapees, this is a friendly reminder that it's Bunkerman to both break Lewis' mask and later kill him.

Now, as for my personal guess? I think the children are going to leave the shelter and look for Minerva. First of all, that would explain why, in the opening, everyone has the go-out-shelter-coats:

That's the outfit Emma, Ray and later Gilda and Don wear when going out; it's an outfit we never saw the younger children wear in the manga. Another reason why I think that all the children are going to leave together is because it's the only way to protect them: they still can't be sure the shelter is a safe place (the manga reveals it isn't), so they can't leave the children alone in it. In the manga, they divide in two groups: Emma, Ray and Bunkerman leave the shelter, and Gilda and Don would have stayed to keep the children safe. For how things are in the anime, this becomes a problem. Let's say they decide to leave the shelter (and like, they will, otherwise the plot can't move on lol): Emma and Ray can't leave on their own, without Bunkerman to both guide and protect them; at the same time, they can't leave with the support of Gilda and Don, for that would mean leaving the children alone in the shelter. It's not only because leaving a group of less then nines alone would normally not be a good idea (these children are very smart, so maybe they'd manage to go on?), but they can't really know if the shelter will continue being a safe place: only because the demons haven't found it so far, that doesn't mean they can be sure they won't find it at some point; additionally, for what they know poachers are still after them. That's why I think the most logic progress of events will be for the children to leave the shelter together. Which, even though I stand for what I've said... Sounds like a very bad idea??? Not only the children keep travelling in this demon world- they also don't have weapons besides from bow and arrow? That's why I find the armory being empty one of the most senseless things- of course I want the children to be safe, but for the children to survive in demon forests completely unarmored sounds extremely unrealistic. I just hope they aren't going to kill one of the "irrelevant children" to prove how dangerous the world is, that would destroy me.

(I'm Chris.)

Ok, I think I covered everything! Thanks for asking! Let's hope together they won't mess this up for us :))

[minamotoz]

Thoughts on the Lumon friendship and also the potential of their romantic relationship?

I HAVW MANY THOUGHT. BRAIN FULL. this is gonna be a very long post.

starting with their platonic relationship: top tier, easily the healthiest and most wholesome throughout the show. theres a lot of mutual trust and love between them thats just extremely obvious. those two literally cant be away from each other for more than 2 seconds. also i just love how in s2 theyre such a nice example of a healthy m/f friendship in kids shows in which romance isnt on the table. such a nice change of pace, especially how quickly the prospect of them being in a relationship/liking each other gets shut down really quickly. as much as i love their romantic relationship and how much i wish they expanded on it more, it shows such nice growth. they've moved on from that, and simón especially proves to break out of the nice guy tm stereotype he kinda pushes being in season 1.

HAVING SAID THAT: THEIR ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP HAD SO MUCH WASTED POTENTIAL ITS INSANE. first, the amount of build up throughout season 1? the slowburn and angst was honestly so good, even if it suffered in terms of writing. its established extremely quickly that simón has romantic feelings for luna, even before its explicitly said, its extremely obvious. not to mention the fact that luna does reciprocate, but for some reason it gets swept under the rug as 'confusion' (which is something they do a lot when it comes to these two and their relationship). theres so much buildup and tension between the two, the confession of feelings (on simóns end)/bonding while practicing for the competition in 1x40, the angst as simón nearly moves away, the whole entire daniela arc (which i firmly believe is when luna realizes she likes him romantically), and then they FINALLY start dating for real, and. nothing. everything that was leading up to this just gets dropped. luna suddenly acts completely disinterested and uncomfortable in their relationship, as if she wasnt pining for him this whole time. they date for a total of 9 episodes and halfway through all this tension up and dies. i know they were nearing the end of the season and needed time for a lutteo endgame but its evident that the writers had no regard for handling this properly. again: luna's feelings for simón are just brushed off as 'confusion' which is so dumb its insane. i'm not saying everything up until they were dating was perfect, i have a lot of beef with how a lot of things about them were handled, but it feels so . sloppy.

i know i just said that i liked the platonic!lumón of s2, but theres a lot i would've done to at least make more sense, at least if i was able to make my own self indulgent lumón ending. first, simón entirely shrugging off everything that happened in s1 as 'confusion'. again, they use this excuse so much its insane. he wasn't 'confused' he was desperately in love, theres a very clear difference. i honest to god have no idea if we're supposed to take his explanation at face value, but that seems to be the narrative the show takes post-s1, so i'll take it at face value. if simón truly was confused, that would make so many of his actions in s1 make zero sense. he moved overseas for her, he basically did everything for her, he had a full on mental breakdown and tried moving back overseas because he thought she was in love with someone else, how would that make sense if he was 'confused'? this isnt the only time he explained it as confusion too, he also did it during the daniela arc, which was literally just him lying to himself to make himself feel better and try and ease tension. if i had a say in how this went, why not make this bs a lie as well, albeit a lie he genuienly believes. i think the whole lutteo/simbar plot mandated relationship failure lined up way too perfectly for it to not mean anything for lumóns relationship. i think thats what they were gonna do for s3 before the episodes were cut from 80 to 60. i also have basically no idea what happens between simón and luna in s3 after the first 10 episodes because i cant and refuse to finish it, but i would really like if the aforementioned plot mandated relationship failure to mean something. have s2 be full of little hints between them and stuff, and then have them get closer during the last 5 episodes (whicn they already do kinda), then have s3 be a sort of 'no matter what happens, i always come back to you' thing? which kinda happened during the daniela arc, but on a bigger scale.

this is all just me being too deep into my wishful thinking i guess. lumón as a ship was basically born to crash and die a painful death, but i cant help but feel a little sad for myself that i decided to attach myself to this dumb fuck ship that 5 other people on this earth like in the year of 2021. sorry if this isnt all that coherent, its late and these two fuck up my brain to the point where i cant write well.

[thefreshchannel]

Havent finished tda yet but taking a break bc i was thinking about tdas and heres some thoughts on whether or not these characters shd be considered all stars or not:

- gwen: yes. Unfortunately for gwen she’s been stirring drama since s1. Unintentionally but she’s been involved in the most dramatic parts of the series (heather reading her diary, her relationship w trent constantly falling out, stealing duncan) not to mention her being incredibly popular so whether it pains me to say it but she is a td all star. Also a finalist for s1 so that works

- heather: absolutely. No explanation needed. Queen of drama. Winner/finalist

- duncan: most popular character in the series aside from gwen. Definitely an all star. Winner/finalist

- courtney: love her or hate her they had to put her in because duncney is still obviously popular and fresh cannot resist a good love triangle. U can tell they had absolutely NOTHING planned for courtney by the way they butchered her but. Yeah all star.

- alejandro: winner/finalist. there to find out what ended up happening with him while also probably just there for juicy aleheather moments until unfortunate elimination.

- sierra: uh....i actually have no clue why they put sierra in and made her go cody crazy. If well written she couldve dominated this. But thats not the case here. She made it to 4th place in world tour which i guess counts for something since zoey and scott and cameron can be counted for that too, but then again sierra was only in for one season and i dont think a lot of fans were very fond of her. Debatable all star status.

- cameron: i PURELY believe he’s solely there due to being a finalist/winner and also bc theyre putting mike and zoey in. In my eyes camerons not really much of an all star he just. Happened to win afsjsgsh. I guess popularity with the fans all star because i do know if anything he had more fans than sierra. Do not understand why they had the whole cam/cody thing with sierra.

- lightning: SHA LIGHTNING! I dont remember him being in all stars or how far he got but. I do think he counts because he was a finalist/winner for a season. All star.

- sam: to this day i still wonder why sam. Like is he rlly more popular than brick or dawn?

- scott: s3 villain. Decent villain. All star.

- jo: okay maybe i’m being harsh with the roti cast because of how little i remember it but iirc jo was mostly challenging brick and lightning sgshsh like i like her, she’s a strong player. Debatable.

- zoey: i mean i guess her and mike come as a package. I dont find zoey particularly interesting. I think they WANTED to do something with her having a bunch of skills everyone was like “whoah she can do that?” But ultimately got side tracked for mike’s storyline. She does have the popularity to be an all star tho, focus couples in every season tend to be popular so theres that.

- mike: all star based on fan popularity. Definitely just there to be the plot line of the season. Refuse to go into more detail.

- lindsay: I ALMOST POST THIS WITHOUT HER BC I FORGOT SHE WAS THERE AFSHSGSHGS SEEMED LIKE A WASTE BECAUSE SHE HAS ALL STAR POTENTIAL FROM HER PERFORMANCE IN TDA. BUT LIKE. IS SHE REALLY THAT POPULAR? IN MY HEART SHE’S AN ALL STAR BUT IDK IF U THINK OF OTHER TDI CHARACTERS THEN THERES SOME THAT COULD HAVE MORE OF AN ALL STAR STATUS THAN HER (coughs leshawna)

Again this might change after i finally get to rewatching tdroti but imo if td wanted to have an all star season they shouldve introduced the second gen cast earlier. To me theres a lot of missed opportunities w characters from tdi that could be considered in a more all star status than some of the ones from roti in tdas.

[mousehole5000]

okay another tgcf lb i powered through and finished book 1 this is kinda long its chapters 43-57

first off i love a lil spy mission. these things never go smooth

naughty unlucky trespassers get banished to the giant leech chamber

dont know that i care for the inclusion of “scary savage redskinned cannibal tribe” i mean i guess i dont know maybe its got a different cultural context but i just have a hard time with that one hmmmm at least its over quickly

this really seems to be a book of everyone already knows everyone but that makes sense considering how fucking old everyone is

dope. this whole little armory stand off was fun but also oh no!!! fire in ghost city!!!

awww i love him. king of not wanting anyone to die :’( also hey he did something cool!!! very competent!!! although it looks like he did get hurt from it god his bad luck never ends

yeah exactly!!!!! sword in one hand flower in the other!!! thats what its all about!!!!

mmmmmmm. MMMMMMMMMM. rich fuckers. but also feng xin was the first to show up either way.... im still care him. followed by mu qing who is talking trash but still here as well

also i might back what i said about lang qianqiu im not sure if he knows anything i think he is just like that. although theres still room for him to be involved something. im switching most of my suspicions to wind master qingxuan now because he is popular and rich

okay if im reading this right this seems pretty in character for lang qianqiu. “i dont like that your family is in power.” “haha what a silly guy :) i have no concerns about you”

but xie lian is admitting to this??? :O curious to find out more about if he did indeed do some slaughter or if he’s protecting someone else. if he is protecting someone i think it could be lang qianqiu himself in some way. genuinely unsure tho he may very well have just done this idk who am i to deny him complexity

theres that interesting little note that most officials have also committed similar crimes but never have to face it bc mortals just die

pei ming you’re half right but shut the fuck up no one asked you. i feel strong dislike towards him sorry to any potential pei ming stans reading this. maybe im sorry maybe not im not sure yet i feel strongly about this

i see this happen on cdramas all the time i love it. i point at you in lieu of words

i do think all the politics and gossip and the way that officials will change sides to gain favor/not lose it depending on which way the wind is blowing is pretty interesting i like that its in here

i love that xie lian is making sure that someone takes care of the people hes taken in and also i love everything about this sentence although i feel like we’re not going to see much of banyue which is a shame bc i liked her

oh is it flashback time? this is fun

hmm!!! interesting!!! i like this response!! i have nothing funny or smart to say about it i just like it

this is an understanding that only comes after living through great pain and/or loss. hmm.

hmmm!!!!!!!! questions!!! presumably thematic ones!!!

please let us dig into whatever is going on in this little trio. actions speak louder than words mu qing

okay here we go feng xin is here and im not going to screencap the whole thiing but wow these two see each other and half a page later start swinging okay

oh my god hua cheng giving us a jailbreak arc? instant chaos. amazing

scream everything about this is funny. maximum cunt behavior. everyones reaction fadsjflksdjlk;afsl

mxtx: all characters other than hualian are straight mxtx: the thing feng xin is most afraid of is a women’s bath also women in general he is afraid of them fajkdjskfslda i mean there could be other reasons for this but its very funny in that context

stop theyre too much faslfkjasdf im so glad we’re getting this

im not 100% sure how i feel about these swords that. moan? hmm.

xie lian king of speaking out against stan culture. for real tho i feel like this makes sense with how young he was when he ascended and how much favor he gained only to be banished, as well as with how gods have to be what the people say that they are. this is made interesting bc xie lian is quite literally a god but this is still an issue!!

this is more less what im currently envisioning on our little side trek except qi rong's vibes are so rancid im retching from behind the screen and im not getting to watch any little creatures dance so its objectively a worse time but at least xie lian is there

reading this book full of immortals beat the shit out of each other is like watching looney toons

hua cheng is relentless. also THE DRAMA. lang qianqiu youre back on the list!!! although i doubt any of this will be straightforward also i feel like im playing among us rn im dizzy

hes awful and probably irredeemably so but hes also funny. imagine being qi rong youre just vibing rancidly in your cave and some fucker shows up using the name of a prince from 800 years ago and turns out its hua cheng and he slams your head into the floor over and dribbles it like a basketball until you lay the blame for said princes death and turns out that fucker youre blaming is also here and just as youre getting into it with him this other fucker says that youre lying and turns out its your cousin. wyd

YES. CHOMPING AND VIOLENCE

bruh they melted qi rong

oh its a clone. okay. aww kind of sad that he once looked up to xie lian. maybe some sympathy for going mad. oh wait actually he was a spoiled and pampered prince? sympathy depleted again. tis a waste but. alas

wind master just told xie lian that he was lucky to have befriended hua cheng... and xie lian agreed.... interesting interesting

noting that those two are notorious for clashing and yet jun wun is making them work together

i actually got teary at xie lian talking to his parents coffins and wondering for a second if he heard his mom. god. 800 years... :(

QI RONG IM GOING TO FIND YOUR ASHES MYSELF WTF this whole situation with the child sucks :/

oh my god thats where it ends??? wowie. okay damn i was going to take a break after i finished book one but god thats tempting

[wickymicky]

you know, i used to say that Egoist or Hi High were my number one favorite kpop songs (it went back and forth, i think i was most vocal about Egoist being my number one but there were times when i felt like it was Hi High), but like... idk... like aside from So What, i feel like i’ve barely listened to Loona at all so far this year, and honestly it’s been like six or seven months, maybe eight or nine, since i regularly listened to Loona every day (again, aside from So What).... i’ve listened to Egoist, a song that i considered my favorite kpop song hands down for the majority of the time i’ve been into kpop, like ten times this year and that’s it... and some of those times were because i had the thought “oh jeez i havent listened to this song in a long time, i should do that... i’m betraying it...”

i wonder if i only kept saying/thinking that egoist is my favorite kpop song because i said it once and i had to stick to it... i think its pretty clear to any mutuals i have that my actual favorite kpop song is something like picky picky though, a song i actually post about all the time and listen to really frequently...

:/

so yeah, there’s no easy way to say this, but it really feels like i’m hanging on to Loona out of a sense of loyalty more than anything else :( it’s hard to put into words but listening to Loona feels kinda different these days. knowing more about how they decided things on the fly and how rushed the selection of the final members was (and how little the members were told) kinda... like... doesn’t it change how you listen to a song like New or Egoist? it certainly gives a lot more context to Yves being really shy in those first loonatvs she was in... and Olivia’s experience with her debut was such a whirlwind, like, she was just kind of thrust into the group... i have soooo much respect for all the members for being able to handle it, and i think it’s a fuckin miracle that it worked and they ended up with twelve incredible members, all of whom are so talented and any group would be lucky to have them, but even still just... some of the fun is lost a little bit for me. and I can’t listen to Everyday I Love You, one of my favorite Loona songs, without thinking of how much Vivi’s potential has been wasted. it turned a song that i have fun while listening to into one that makes me frustrated or sad. 

for whatever reason, i feel less of that when listening to ot12 stuff, even if some members get shit for lines, tho tbh, and this is a really hot take and i’m sorry... but i’m really mostly just into their three title tracks (and Favorite i guess), i rarely listen to their bsides.. they don’t hit me the same way, i guess. anyway though it’s the predebut stuff that makes me frustrated or sad. i cant help but empathize and think of what they must be feeling in the predebut era... happiness and excitement sure, but also nervousness, anxiety, stress, etc... the one by one debut concept was novel and it ended up working out in a sense, but at what cost? it was able to work out because the yyxy members were brought in at the last minute, Hyeju literally with only like 24 hours before they were gonna reveal the next member, and with all the changes we know about like Vivi probably being intended to be in OEC and things like that, and trainees that BBC had who for whatever reason ended up being rejected also probably at the last minute in favor of the yyxy members who were brought on... sigh... idk

it feels like it’s getting harder and harder to be a fan of this group, too. as they get more popular and more recognition, the fandom is growing, and with that comes a lot more drama, none of which i particularly care about (aside from the stuff relating to the group itself, as i’ve been talking about). they got their first win, and i was happy at the time, but... i’m worried about their future. it’s not that i wish they didnt get their first win, it’s just... i hope this doesnt make BBC feel validated in overworking and over-controlling them, you know? i want to believe that a lot has changed for the better since after Butterfly, especially when Jaden Jeong left, but we just have no way of knowing that for sure. there’s evidence for both sides, so at the end of the day, all we can do is speculate, and that doesnt really help anything. 

it sucks to admit this to myself but i feel like i’m losing interest in this group because of all this. whenever i’ve watched loona content from the So What era, sometimes they do seem happy, but even then there’s this feeling that they’re stressed and tired. are they happy? again, we can only speculate, so it’s best not to, but i cant stop my idiot brain from assuming the worst and picking up on signals that might not even actually be there, it’s just confirmation bias. maybe i only feel like theyre not at 100% because i’m already worried theyre not at 100%, you know? hmmm. also, i just... don’t think i feel the same connection with this group that i used to. maybe i never really did, tbh. they were my first group, my introduction to kpop, and i genuinely love some of their stuff still, but i feel like as i’ve gotten sooooo much more understanding of this whole kpop industry and i can put loona’s discography in context with aaaaaallllllll the other kpop songs i’ve listened to.... i feel like a lot of their stuff hasn’t aged as well as i would want, for me. you know how sometimes you wonder how much of what you like is really stuff you like, and how much is only because other people like it so you subconsciously feel you have to too? well, at first i would have said i genuinely love all of it and i could explain why, but idk i think i was convincing myself of some of it... as ive found more stuff that i genuinely love, it becomes clearer what are my things and what arent, you know? when i only knew 30 kpop songs and had 5 super-favorites, it was easier to overestimate some things, but now that i know hundreds and have a really deep pool of super-favorites, some of that early stuff i found is overshadowed, i guess. maybe egoist isnt as special to me anymore cause like.. at the time, i hadnt heard many kpop songs like it, but now... i have. and some of them do what it does just as well................. if not better............... sigh, i feel like im punching my past self in the gut

if this hurts you to read cause you’re a huge orbit, trust me, i know what you mean, it hurts to admit this. it kinda sucks to realize that you’re slowly losing interest in something you once loved and was incredibly important to you. 

oh and by the way, when i talk about losing interest, i dont mean that i dont care about loona anymore lmao, i just mean theyre going from my number 1 or 2 or 3 spot down to like my number 5 or 6 or 7 spot haha, alongside other groups that i like a lot but don’t follow the same way i follow my ults. so like even if i continue feeling this way about them, theyre still one of my favorite groups lol. like i guess i would kinda place them around where i would place twice or another group like that in my top 10? anyway... i just had to get this all off my chest. it started out being a post just about egoist and kinda hi high too, but then i realized i had a lot more to say haha, sorry. hopefully this doesnt upset anyone, idk, i hope you understand where im coming from :(

[tumblunni]

Why is gyan amakano so cute. It should be illegal. I hate how he has such a huggable design and then his character is totally wasted on being half super evil jerkman half Every Fat Stereotype Simultaneously. Like seriously how did this even HAPPEN

Artist: ok so ive drawn this round softman in a cute lil fancy tuxedo who always carries lollipops in his back pocket

Writers: ah yes, the perfect Irredeemable Murder Cannibal Man

Or like..

Writers: we need an Irredeemable Murder Cannibal Man

Artist: dont worry bro i got ya *draws a big circle with a happy face*

Or of course theres the alternative universe where nobody involved in this project ever noticed that this character design looks fuckin precious, but i dont want to live in that world

And then he's only in!! Two episodes!! And theyre so weird and not great!! Its like they kept changing their mind whether he was meant to be funny or scary. Goes from "ha ha a fat man enjoys cookies" to "he literally wants to make cannibal cookies out of humans" to "but ha ha look he's cosplaying as the genie from aladdin, lets go back to laughs now".

And also they made him be a huge jerk to Are Bacchino and that pisses me off!! Its already a bit shitty that they made a character whose entire "joke" is that he has ocd/germaphobia and its meant to be funny? Somehow? That he has this mental illness? And is frequently exposed to stuff that terrifies him?? Funny how???? But then theres a really rather disturbing montage of Gyan punishing his sidekick by straight up triggering his phobia and YIKES MAN sorry thats even more evil than the cannibalism! Also why was it drawn all overly detailed and Saw-esque?? Why did we need so much art effort put into showing dirty feet and a guy being forced to stick his hand in a shit filled toilet. Was this someone's goddamn fetish or something???

So yeah. Upset.

U P S E T T I. R E G R E T T I.

I'm so mad they wasted a cool character deisgn and cool concept on such a shitty execution. Like even the plot could have been cool? They could have got a lot more episodes out of the idea of these two runnibg thru fairytale books and cosplaying as different classic villains. And if theyd just made a damn decision and gone with either funny cute or scary bad then it could have worked! Personally i am voting for funnycute obv course. But also thatd work best with this plot, it would have been better if it was just a low stakes goofy adventure with something like "oh this dude wants to find the legendary magic wish thingie to wish for a lifetime supply of chocolate and our heroes wanna wish for something actually important so thats why they fight". Could have even added some drama cos like he doesnt know the thing is actually dangerous and then what if he ends up possessed by it and you still get a fight with him thats pretty high stakes without having this weird inconsistant personality thing. Could be quite a dramatic twist to suddenly have comedy villain man as a genuine threat! Ans could be a way to resolve it all with friendship cos you could have Are Bacchino teaming up with the heroes to save his boss and then Gyan is like "whoa i guess you guys were 100% right all along" when he gets saved from his own bigass mistake and all. And then THE GAMES COULD ACTUALLY MAKE HIM PLAYABLE PERHAPS, JUST SAYIN

Also PLEASE rewrite like every single thing about the relationship between the two of them. Please take whoever said "yeah gyan should outright torture his one and only friend with a messed up Saw movie ocd-triggering machine" and throw them out the window. Consider this: what if..they were actually...friend. Like i feel they'd have enough comedy potential already just from being a "rival mafia" thats literally two people who are ludocrously incompetant at everything they do and only ever succeed at (literally) stealing candy from babies. Play up that side of things more! No need to throw random super evil shit at the funnymen to make them seem more intimidating, theyre at their best when theyre not intimidating at all. And you could still have the same gag of the fairytale world forms always being Gyan as some sort of classic villain and Are as a talking carpet or whatever, like just say thats how the magic works instead of Gyan doing it on purpose to be a jerk. And you could even still have Are being the funny underdog just from sheer bad luck instead of being purpisely mistreated by every single character in the entire cast. Or have it that Gyan is just a bit of a bumbling idiot boss who doesnt notice his mistakes and Are is like the hypercompetant sidekick who always ends up taking the consequences of those mistakes because he's like an overportective bodyguard. Which could also be a way to establish some cute friendship moments! Like i dunno someone's about to throw a pie at Gyan and Are does an overdramatic diving save and a whole fake death scene from the sheer horror of getting banana cream frosting on his suit. "Boss...go on without me..." *cough choke* And Gyan is like *equally overdramatic tears* "He made the ultimate sacrifice! I will avenge him!!" *charges forward to fight the heroes and just gets easily beat up like usual* And then its like *even more continually dramatic narration* "and the boss was beaten and bruised, but he carried me for miles through wind and storm" *over footage of like ridiculously impossible heroic adventures thay clearly didnt happen* And then it just cuts to the two of them sitting at like...ye olde fantasy laundromat. Are sobbing like "oh boss i'll never forget this" and Gyan is just like *thought bubble* "i wish i got to eat that pie tho"

I dunno maybe im naive but i just think shows are generally more fun when characters actually like each other and have motivations beyond self interest. Obvipusly not EVERY character has to be like that, but nobody is ever kind at all in the damn anime whether theyre villain or hero. And also specifically these sorts of minor role villains can benefit a lot from being fleshed out this way to become way more memorable! Like gin and kin became way better in Psychic Specters when they got the added trait of loving and cherishing their little brother. (To the point of it being a literal battle power that made their horribly hard boss fight even worse, lol!)

Also just...plz dont make a man so cute if hes meant to be big badness. Like seriously Are looks scarier than him and Are is like the least scary man to ever have those scary ass eyes! Smol depressed man with ocd and tol round lollipops friendo. I WANT TO LOVE THEM

Im gonna just cross my arms and sit here stubbornly hoping for The Anime/Game Effect to kick in. Like 99% of all characters in the anime are jerks and even when anime originals end up cameoing in the games they tend to become generally nicer and more well developed as people. So fingers crossed for a yw4 appearance thats full cute and 0% cannibalism!!!

Seriously fuckin.. CANNIBALISM

Why does the anime do that so much as a "funny" "joke"? The episode where Jerry murders a sentient dessert yokai in graphic gory detail still haunts me. "Ha ha its funny because technically theres no blood so we can show her gasping for breath with a hole in her lungs as a man eats her corpse" Did they put the entire budget into that one death animation??? Oh no cos they saved at least a little of it for the Herbiboy Gets Murdered By A Lawnmower episode T_T

Anime why u be this way.

[yuissamidare]

@codes i think i may have put this on my artblog but... Here

i guess ill start w ichi bc i always forget about him somehow like i always come up short when im making lists and im like 'oh wait shit yeah that guy’ bc im stupid n i only think of fishing trio + choro. I’m an Idiot. idk i never thought too hard on ichi bc i so rarely think about him but he looks so high its really funny i said this on main but he looks like my friend when he decided to try a weed gummy bear then started babbling about hentai then watched to watch porn with me but got mad all the intro scenes are a billion years long and started ranting about the industry but now that i think about it he looks like someone who used to send me weird shit when he was high like bad pick up lines about body parts i wish i didnt have

and thats so funny that its Ichimatsu who looks like that but also proof that hes high. but anyway!! hes really cute and im mad hes boutta ruin my reputation for my complete and utter lack of care and interest in him no matter what im mad. my friend gwyn said 'Sp lubing us up for the fuckening that is the reason why Ichi is sad in present day’ im really curious at the change like if hes trying a fake it till you make it type thing bc really emotionally exhausted or if hes just genuinely having a good time or hes puttin on a front since like. nails who stand get hammered down right??? just gotta do your best n Never Relax n i can relate to all that. but uhhh old hcs i guess

in kun ichi was the most serious! really smart but just as bad w school as the rest of them apparently but!! yeah so id think that!! ichis that guy who participates in class discussion constantly and is always willing to debate the readings, but turns in sloppy papers with typos and no a coherency or stucture or anything. he’s A+ in participation but has an average of 60% on most of the written assignments with points knocked bc of lateness then more bc its A Mess. you could ask about the prompts for one of his papers, he could babble about his position on it complete with paragraphs and footnotes but like the day before its due hes playing rpgs and watching horror movies.

his classmates think hes so smart n so intimidating. the family knows hes a hot mess. the teachers tell him he has a lot of potential but they don’t think hes applying himself. all are right. also he doesnt cheat or let people cheat off of him since hes always been about rules and boundaries and Rightness n he n jyushi were the only ones who Minded Themselves in kun

uhh jyushi!! let me talk about schoolwork again bc yeah i love jyushi so so so so much and thinking of him in a school environment is so weird i thought about it a lot n i thought about it him in kun n san and Woah!! i really really love delinquent jyushi, bc when i saw that i was like 'huh! that fits actually!!’ i love that like him and choro flip flopped completely from what i thought. his school must be so cold theyre too cheap to afford heating in the winter and in summer the acs Blast. he was so Shy and quiet and he cried and he liked to sing so i always thought that when he participated in chorus festivals hes always like right in front!! he hums a lot in class and also moves around alot bc he actually like school and people like primary trio are the types that make friends often. i wasnt supposed to talk about this yet whoops.

unlike ichi who relatively neat despite everything but has shit notes, jyushis notes are amazing and understandable and utterly illegible.

theyre covered in doodles, arrows and lines leading every which way, different colors but not like color coded n theyre not in order by date, but he opens to a random page every time yet somehow always seems to know where to find each lesson. he writes footnotes and caveats and corrections and criticisms of the teachers and random thoughts and just smears ink everywhere. sometimes his notes are on a completely different subject. the notebook itself is a horrifying mess, the front and back covers both covered in drawings and designs and falling apart, random papers shoved between the pages, coming apart at the seams, covered in stains of unknown origin. assignments are full of emoticons and informal language, and they always manage to make his teachers feel like hes smarter than they are (most likely). he does his projects the minute theyre assigned, and is finished a minute later so can talk to his friends. he loved school.

sophie told me once about how she thought was Like That was bc one of his main concerns is that he thought he had nothing that made him Jyushi n in kun she said he might have been the one who was the most concerned about having a distinctive personality and i talked about how that sorta carried over san and how he always blended in bc of how gentle and soft and push-overy he was. he was actually the and most gullible and weakest in kun so i was like :0 when i saw that and intentionally did stuff like only carry 14 yen in his pockets to be quirky but it always sorta fell flat and he was still invisible so i was like hmmmmm. and i can see how he couldve toughened up and thinking of this now!! i love that. oh im so happy. this is so much better than i ever couldve imagined ever.

totty…. i do not think he was very popular or good at school. i think he’s very decent at schoolwork but he never put much effort into it. just copies whats on the board but if the class runs out of allotted lesson time n he couldnt finish his work he just didnt do it like cram schools a pain in the ass. if he put effort hed be a star student but he just craps out whatever since hes was the laziest!! oh but something i noticed was that him and jyushi would play together often since sometime he felt overwhelmed by karamatsu a lot. also hes the money thief and scammer its great kun todo is so good. he gets shy and flustered easy too!!

but uhh yeah!! depending on the day im always like 'zaimoku love each other so much they are best friends and the perfect other halves!!’ then im like 'these mofos hate each other what the fuck is this trainwreck’ did you see their shitty small talk in the horse episode. what was that. like they are genuinely trying to communicate and are pretty easy with each other but they have nothing to say. its like when youre having a boring day at school and theres nothing to talk about with an acquaintance so you just look at the walls and go 'have you ever noticed how stupid these posters are’ then you both start reading posters aloud but you both know its not that funny and youre just doing it to waste time but you still enjoy their company you just dont want silence. thats their relationship. and i think they are just very similar in very different ways and like. the key things that make them both similar and different and the same fuck them up (like suiriku!! theyre both really similar even if it doesn’t seem like it at first which is why their compatibility in the relationship chart was so low in s1, but i saw a lot of improvement in both of their behaviours and their communication and honestly. s2 was worth it for that sophie was so happy to see her faves get along) like sometimes when you look in the mirror all the things you see are the things you dont like about yourself instead of what makes you wonderful and unique. also i didnt mean to talk about this but i guess i am.

but yeah. totty is bitter n resentful at kara during hs n karas more confused and upset at tottys behaviour in their twenties n thats bc like i said. theyre dumb. karamatsu!! i think was actually pretty popular in highschool n had a good amount of friends - i genuinely think theatre kids are well liked bc i literally know everyone in my department and im friends w a good amount of people and im not even That extroverted. my actual extrovert friends know everyone in the school by name and everyone in my department is so nice even though theres a lot of bitchiness and drama its not as bad as w other humanities studies (jesus christ humanity students outside of theatre are a hot mess.)

uh yeah n that ultimately makes totty feel a bit… betrayed? karamatsu is his partner! theyre supposed to be there for eachother! kara’s the first one to branch out, get friends etc etc and todomatsus left behind bc hes always the one playimg follow the leader and he breaks out of that once they graduate - he grows up resenting karamatsu slightly though he still cares. but this time Hes the one cancelling plans to hang out with friends instead. my friend katie put it best when, in response to me telling them this, they sent me:

'kara: totty you have so many friends now. We barely see you anymore.

totty, applying chapstick: well, I learned it from the best.’

when i told them about it. but at the time gwyn and i were babbling about possibilities and different storylines and how theres a possiblity the movie might break down into three manageable plotlines n she gave zaimoku 'popularity’ and this was me throwing out ideas but honestly. Good. (aha, the end of this scenario ended up with todo throwing hands and shoulder checking someone outside a window and then getting removed from the premise n hanging with atsushi all night after) why am i on this. shit what happened here.

uhh but yeah totty is Def someone with learned behaviours rather than being a natural extrovert honestly just look at him hes an introverted mess masquerading as a decent human being and i know full well how people like that are bc some of them have been my best friends for years n seein the new hs promos solidifies that fact bc look at him. Crybaby. He is Miniscule. A Child.

then its 'delinquent who looks like an honour student’ choro. i never studied him until sophie started liking choro n since i love sophie i wanted to take an interest in him too. n i started to think very hard about him! then gwyn planted this in me n its taken root and im just never not gonna think its great. yall see his shitty gokudo impression what a bossy lil shit. he pulled a whip on kara once and it was mad funny but also Gwyns Big Evidence for him just being the absolute worst not like a casually skips class type but a Choro was a legit a bully and really mean n sabatoged other classmates to make him look like he was 100% That Bitch. maybe not him being Mean and cruel but just an asshole who bums around, is something i really like that one a lot its been one of my faves since gwyn n i started talking about it but i just!! have a ton of other things too!!

hes a lot like karamatsu in that theyre both stupid and weird and embarrassing and they put on airs but they also!! dont try!! they talk so big and such high goals n expectations and they dont do shit bc they have so much hubris but i always talk about them bc suiriku is sophies Beloved so ill like. Not. but he acts like he’s better than all of them n forces the role of the straight man on himself because he wants to be seen as the responible, level headed one even if hes just. So Much.

i think the movies calling back to how touchy feely and clingy he was in kun and adding on to how jyushis a delinquent and kara… Is Like That he’ll be around them the most bc jyushi might either be really protective or push him away and then they do something to mend their relationship later on or hell cling to kara and they just. grow apart. sticking to my hc until the end bitches. oh.

for choro… personally!! i thought hed be a slacker instead of a delinquent but not in the way totty slacked - totty was lazy n knew the work but didnt want to put in effort but choro just. Doesnt. choro has so much energy all the time and choro Can Not deal with school situations. bc like… you always hear people say that studying is meant to be done at the desk, silently, no distractions what so ever!! focus on notes and nothing else!! ise a highlighter but dont use it too much!! make your notes legible but you only have five minutes before the board gets erased!! review!!! look at your notes or youll die! take breaks bit dont take too long and honestly. listen. kun choro wouldnt be able to stand that shit and id think hed just think he was doing it The Wrong Way n he just wasnt meant to do it.

he doesnt like quiet classrooms!! he cant study like that and hell get distracted. he cant sit still n thats why totoko broke up w him in the beer ad and why hes just Everywhere in kun!! hes understimulated and its just Ugh! you know??? he’ll fidget w his pens until he breaks them or hum or tap his foot and annoy everyone or leave for the bathroom at least three times a class just to get up and move.

eventually he just. gives up even though hes super smart he like, stops caring bc if you dont care to understand material then you wont have to read and read and reread and rereread something to get it! classes just make everything uncomphrehensible and makes any idea he may have sublimate into nothing. but he can work on the trains and the buses! he needs something kenetic to get him moving and trains n shit always have enough going on to work with, just like with home!! chorochoro motherfuckers. he works much better moving forward, ironic as that is. he feels sorta set apart from every thing like hes behind some big plane of glass doing everything wrong and being all set apart from everything. eventually he takes to acting like a real fussy mom to avoid his own problems and help everyone else out even though hes annoying and even when he graduates but it gets Worse bc then figures out how much!!! he fucked up!! then he kicks himself into high gear n still cant do shit. ahh.

its illegal for me to talk about choukei bc i talk about them so much and im always being annoying n typing stupid essays about them bc theyre… my faves.. But this is so long…

it actually makes me super happy that he kara acne he still can be really fighty and he cries and he still does stupid impulsive shit for others and even though hes really sweet and caring is still an utter monster and fucking mess of a person. love him. i always like to think his shittymatsu nickname came from iyami n it just morphed from there bc in 66 you can hear iyami calling him specifically garbage. ive always been glad they kept his sewing hobby too. ahh, actually from what i see hes pretty similarities to kun so i wonder when he decided to air out that teremity. idk what to say about him that i havent in tottys section. he just Feels like someone who had a good support group and nice friends bc of how hes able to move in the world. kara feels like some whos doing their growing up in their twenties bc highschool came easy to them and now theyre just really struggling with the real world. like i shouldve expected softboy hs kara and i appreciate him very much!! i talk about choukei a lot bc they were the first characters that spoke so i immediately attached myself to them n i talk about karamatsu Specifically but im not sure i ever mentioned how much i appreciated how smart and cautious hes proved himself to be time and time again, like how hes the only one to point out totokos fish shtick aint doing her favours or how he was the first one to notice osos irritation n how you can pick out his voice warning jyushi to calm down in the bg of 24 or how in the comedian episode he was ready to take Notes from iyami and a lot of other small things!!

i would think hes actually a bit more serious n calm in hs and san is him amping up traits that drew people to him in hs and it backfiring on kara spectacularly - kara is always gauging people and their reactions and acting in a way he believes will get something positive, but at the same time is utterly oblivious when it comes to actually Getting them n i talked about the girls on the bridge but this is also prevalent with ichi who kara just. Doesnt Get and can not figure out how to maneuver their relationship. like oso, kara is and elder brother!! and elder brothers have an image theyre supposed to uphold, but while kara acts the part he doesnt do the shit a big brother does and shrugs that responsibility off on oso until oso fucks up until s2, where they share the role more evenly and his relationship with ichi improves but this is another essay entirely. what im trying to get with that is that hyperfocus on what other people think of him, but his complete disregard when it comes to their actual reaction and instead what he wants their reactions to be would also greatly impact him transtioning from a teen to an adult im sorry im getting sloppy now

osomatsu… i really adore him too much and i understand how totty felt in their episode bc i also lent my phone to a friend who needed to desperately jack it before meeting new people n i talk about him a whole lot too. hes mean and an asshole and garbage n i know a lot of people find him plain n boring but idk. i dont think thats the case hes a really complexed n nuanced character n hes literally has always been way back from kun n thats expected from a main character but… hes always been mean n dumb n sly and he can get so pathetically vunerable and thats literally!! him. hes a normal dude nothing wrong with that n it can be real refreshing. n i suppose im so fond of fishing trio+choro bc they remind me of my friends. but yeah even if hes 'plain’ i dont see why thats a bad thing. n this they always have the most interesting body language like despite kara being So Much his body language was always closed off n singled him out as everything But exuberant and bright, and osos quirks like how he stands on his toes a lot had always been so cute… its relaxed and open n screams Talk To Me!!!!

ahh but i always end up thinking oso was. oso??? theres not much to say that i havent before but i do think that he was a lot more like he was in episode 2 when ranting to chibita about having shitty brothers and then actively Chose to be a good brother even if he wasnt a good person and be a stable rock and be someone they could all come back to at the end of the day. and hes good at math im never letting this die.

[rorykillmore]

& then how does each character act when theyre like attracted to someone or crushing on someone, aka which one is the biggest gay disaster lol

you think there could be just ONE?

lucille i think would have a hard time developing feelings for anyone unless there was REALLY a lot of trust involved, and even then she might just... shut down about it for awhile idk. she just wouldn’t know how to handle approaching a relationship in a... safe, comfortable way, so once she REALIZED she had feelings for anyone it would take her awhile to work through them and trust them. so not a lot of... explicit or sappy stuff, if anything she might be kind of avoidant about it for awhile. that’s just where she is in her development rn, there’s still a lot she’s not good at handling.

glory... idk it depends on who the other person (dragon) is, but she’s so no nonsense that i think she would kind of inherently dislike admitting she has Softer feelings for someone. it’d be easier if it was someone like deathbringer, who she can kind of clash and banter with and sort of build a flirtation on that without having to admit too much or express stuff that’s more vulnerable. if she had feelings for someone she didn’t quite have that dynamic with, she’d be... idk. potentially a bit more clumsy with it. probably still deflect a lot with sarcasm but it’d be a bit more awkward because she’d have to attempt to not point it at them DIRECTLY,

kara is a bit, well, EMBARRASSINGLY obvious about it. she tends to get nervous when she’s crushing on someone -- she stumbles a lot more and gets kind of overly giggly and easily flustered. it’s just... not subtle when kara is developing feelings for someone.  that doesn’t necessarily mean she’d act on them right away (see james, because that situation was complicated, or rey because even though they both Knew how each other felt, there were a lot of factors that made acting on that immediately not such a great idea) but she usually doesn’t bother being too secretive because it’s obvious anyway. if she does want to pursue someone, sometimes she’ll do nice, cutesy things like getting them flowers or w/e

siobhan... smh. you would expect siobhan to be kind of a prickly asshole who’s constantly in denial, but actually when it comes to romance, she’s not savvy enough for that. when it comes to those kinds of feelings she tends to be so ???!!! because what?? genuine human connection??? and being at that kind of loss makes her sort of impulsive and clumsy; like she’ll act on her feelings because it seems like a good idea at the time and then she’ll REEL BACK and immediately decide it was a mistake and kind of go in unproductive circles so because part of her wants that connection, but the other part of her doesn’t want to trust anyone with that kind of vulnerability. winn was a pretty good example of all this stuff in action.

caitlin can be a liiittle bit oblivious, honestly. someone expressing romantic interest in her is probably something she wouldn’t notice unless it was VERY direct, and she also doesn’t examine her own feelings enough to realize that kind of thing until a bit late in the game, in most circumstances. but assuming she did that eventually or the other person was just, earnest and open about how they felt from the get-go, she’d be... well, idk. probably a little withdrawn? maybe even discouragingly closed off; definitely at least hesitant. romance, as it turns out, has never worked well for her, and she’s definitely not eager to leap back into it. but honestly it’s not really a priority for her anyway.

sara is, well, sara. she’s smooth as fuck. and also kind of a shameless flirt who doesn’t see much reason not to indicate that she’s attracted to someone when she is, although she’s also... conscious of the other person’s feelings and good at not coming on too Strongly. the hang-ups start to occur when she’s not just idly attracted or “crushing” but starts to become aware of more serious feelings, because THEN she doesn’t know what to do and kind of tends to mishandle things. sometimes that manifests in being sort of evasive the way she was with snart, and sometimes it manifests in just being a complete, uncharacteristically clumsy disaster like she was with ava. depends on her willingness to confront/pursue things, i guess. she still manages to be a little bit of a flirt even then though

bramblestar.... bears the curse of being a male character written by the erin hunters, and thus any time he’s attracted to a Woman™ (meaning female cat, but like trust me, that gets across the mood better) he is KIND of an oblivious idiot about it. he can’t read those kinds of hints really well and gets really ??? when he accidentally, inevitably makes a situation worse by saying something stupid. he likes things to be... obvious and upfront, and when they’re not he just gets kind of confused. thank god squirrelflight tolerates him.

heather... well, just look at her entire history on denny! she actually used to have a bad habit of when she was actually attracted to someone, picking on them a little more and giving them the Wrong kinds of negative attention, but on denny she’s grown out of that and it’s more just... idk. she knows the traditional cues and expectations and patterns to follow when it comes to guys, so she can be very forward and direct with them (although ratchet has managed to disprove a lot of her expectations), but she’s... less experienced in admitting her attraction to girls. and on top of that, her feelings for veronica are PRETTY deep by now, so that’s even less she knows how to handle. so up until now she’s kind of tackled a lot of it by just... i’m gonna be completely honest, interpreting a lot of what happens between them as just being normal for very close friendships. gals being fucking pals.

madeline is... fairly traditional about this kind of thing. if a little impulsive. yeah, i think that’s fair to say. she’s pretty good at determining what she wants and then acting on it, i wouldn’t even be surprised if she was the one who initiated things in both of her previous serious relationships, because she doesn’t see the point of wasting time or dancing around things or anything. BUT again, she is impulsive, driven by her feelings first, and sometimes that can lead her into making stupid decisions, like the brief affair she had back home.

badgerstripe has never really had particular, obvious crushes or feelings she’s been aware of before, soooo she’d be kind of... cautious about navigating them at first? she’s the type who’d want to feel out a situation like this very thoroughly before even considering acting on it, which would probably involve a lot of her second-guessing the other person’s feelings and her own. she’d have to make sure her doubts don’t do that kind of self-sabotaging thing they do, but if she got past that i think she’d be... tentatively optimistic? curious? willing to pursue something and probably hitting a few of those fun little “first love” roadbumps as she did

trish is used to leading a pretty... publicized dating life, so she kind of has a tendency to be careful and deliberate and linear about how she treats her feelings for someone and all the stuff she does afterwards. like, if she lets it be anything less than Pretty in the public eye then the tabloids will usually go nuts, so there’s a lot of... casual dating and going through the motions and trish kind of preparing herself for the inevitable blow-up it’s going to end with. some of her stuff with laurel has been treading new ground for her for obvious reasons, and also because it isn’t public in the same way, and she doesn’t necessarily expect it to end disastrously because... it isn’t that serious! right! at least she’s partially right because they are gonna end things on good terms, which will be a nice change for once, but.

anya isn’t really good at examining and becoming consciously aware of these kinds of feelings. it’s also important to note that she was robbed of that like... period of teenage development where people kind of test the waters with this sort of thing, so she retains a lot of that teenage... defensiveness or stubbornness about it. she doesn’t like admitting her feelings because it’s a bit embarrassing to her, so she’ll dance around that kind of thing, but often give herself away by paying a little too much attention to the other person, even if it means frequent bickering or nagging or acting like she doesn’t like them (see: dmitry).

and dolores is in the tricky position of being someone who... doesn’t usually lie to other people or to herself if she feels strongly about them. BUT romance is really complicated for her right now, so depending on the circumstances she’d probably hold herself back a little until she figured out how to be a little less... way and conflicted about it. but apart from that, she’s usually pretty reasonable about it. she’s a bit careful about gauging how the other person is feeling and how genuine that is buuut she herself is usually pretty warm and sincere with people she has a lot of affection for, sometimes even playfully flirtatious like she used to be with teddy. in short, she might not do anything decisive about her feelings until she’s sure it’s what she and the other person want,but she’s also not especially secretive or oblivious.

[rennyji]

about party schools and proof and effect of their reputation...

May 27th tweets...

The reputed party school wants to spend 11 years wondering why “I don’t go out” in the sense of bars/partying. For their personalities or the kids they’re used to, from the low grade requirements for their school(nothing against anyone for getting admission there), -

-I suppose it’s to be expected. With my grades at Iona Prep High School, I had scholarships with free laptops at some decent private schools. But I chose to go to the Harvard of the SUNY’s: Binghamton University. -

-I transferred out, because I wanted a fresh start with a new major, late in my academic career, after an attempt at electricalEngineering. The only place that’d take me is a reputed party school. Theyre probably like F* you in reading this, but being the truth, it’s undeniable.-

-And at that point in my academic career, I thought, what's in a name to a school or its reputation. But look what happens when you go to some places. Leaving Binghamton was the worst decision for so many normal/abnormal reasons. -

- i mean, for one thing, your grades reflect on the kind of person you are. it can say your hard working, or equally smart but just want to take it easy and do things like party and alcohol and drugs all day. but different story, moving on...-

-I used to spend a lot of time in computer science lounge and in the faculty department common room, at said party school. Despite me being there almost everyday, and at the Starbucks in Colonie, NY for networking, where this location is at the center of multiple Universities,-

-the professors who had a role in this, sided with random kids they don’t see in that area often. I guess it’s because they partied and I studied. “Sided “in that they listened to random kids who don’t know me, rather than talk to the guy in their vicinity on a daily basis. -

-Such is the reputed party school. While in the common area, I heard one of their professors say, they take as many kids from a local community college: Hudson Valley, to boost their graduation rates. -

-I guess they don’t get the kids they need for that in normal admissions at a reputed party school. As I hear them talking sometimes, while making me look crazy for it, you should have heard their astonishment at the Binghamton common computer area in comparison to what they-

-have at their reputed party school. It says a lot about reputations. The orchestrators try to make it seem like, the way I am in a ridiculous situation(probably filmed or the equivalent all day), while living with my parents, is how I am. -

- They’ve been doing this for 11 years, after robbing me of my opportunities for 11 years. I had a life before this, and I intend to continue to, after, with my own network, family, etc, away from these orchestrators and their craziness.-

- &another thing, regarding the party school, think im just saying things? check the books. and are their graduates or students going to get mad at me, despite the school's clear role and for calling the students equally smart, a number of tweets ago? well, oops, OK..moving on.-

moving onto addressing something else...-

-The orchestrators are always misusing people under the pretense that I’m a picked on kid. I’m a successful, grown man. -

-Not because I’m conceited,  but from life experience, I wrote 11 yrs ago: “I’m not the last person people harass, but I’m also far from the first.” When it happens, with my image (while chubby, and not handsome now), I know somethings up. -

-Try me, and be direct about it, rather than do something ridiculous from afar. I don’t waste time on idiots. -

-The orchestrators perpetuate and take part, and make official and global, a small rumor of a girl I don’t know or knows me (or her misguided teenage friends who also don’t know me nor do I know them-big theme in this, with all involved) from 11 years ago.-

-The only thing that ever harmed me, abused me, or robbed me of health and opportunities, is the orchestrators. -

-Teenage kids have no power. Whatever effect they have dies down. It takes something big or reputable (like adults of a particular standing) to give their ideology power. -

-These adults...I don’t know them, they don’t know me...I don’t understand their 11 year project/vendetta/-whatever this massive lie is, against me. Maybe it started with just wanting to make money off of me and my life and my lifestyle. -

-In trying to address this 11 year problem, my true focus: my career, gets hidden, and you end up thinking I’m taking part, or after the cr*p-ola of the orchestrators. I’m big on what’s natural. -

-Anywho, I wrote this 1st in the “Notes app” on my iPhone yesterday, to publish on Twitter & tumbler today, in case I forgot. - in case todays posting was seen earlier...think it happens to emails sent to myself and other things...-

-Focus on what’s 4 each day on Twitter &tumbler, despite what cannot be helped i.e. the random relaying of everything @ any time, since no 1 helps me stop it by talking 2 me. Imagine what would happen if you told me-the power to save myself...what a great thing you'd be doing...

about that party school? before things escalated, as soon as I noticed the potential for a problem behind a situation occurring without telling me, I went to their Conflict Resolution office at their school and told them about my concerns and what I noticed-

- the next day, the guy that spoke to me, walks in a different direction, from a small distance, forces a head turn, and gives me a retarded smile. -

-Despite my "reporting things" like one does to the police in the face of a problem, that school went crazy against me on the day of my 2012 finals. can you imagine a school allowed to go nuts on the day of a student's final exams? -

-once again, goes back to the talk about reputations from several tweets ago - this morning. Ur reputation is who you are and reflects in your actions...and here we're dealing with a reputed party school...while they slander my reputation by putting me in retarded predicaments.-

- so many bad experiences with students and faculty at that school...in the first dorm suite i lived in, 5 guys pushed me into my room for pushing them back alone, by myself, for telling them to pitch in cleaning-

-&one of them - a stupid fraternity idiot - rushed to tell on me, saying i punched him. in a part time job, i told  the guy i was working w/to teach me the trade or get the phone in my cubicle working in an area with no cell reception. he just responds nastily and it culminates-

- on another occassion, i locked myself out of my room in a different dorm suite, b4 going to my next part time job, which was in their down town. took the highway to get there. went to the faculty and told them my problem - that i had work, can't be late, need to get in my room-

-they tell me that i have to wait 2 hours b/c that's when their services are officially available. what if it was class & i needed my backpack? when they eventually agreed 2 help me, the woman i was speaking with, probably saw me going to my dorm building, -

-& she drives around &past me w/a nasty look to spite me 4asking them, when saying she'll go to my room and unlock it. when i think i went back to their office &told them about it, she claims she went to my building &waited, but i didn't show up. i saw her drive in a circle.

- and that second part time job...to prove myself useful when things weren't busy with a computer job, i would, alone, move big shelves, i think desks, &other furniture, down a floor or two. It was a gesture on my part after hearing them talk about no one clearing their office-

-after the things i did for them, i emailed them if they knew anything about this, &never a response. -

this is the party school now wondering about why i'm not out, socializing, getting laid all day/everyday, hitting the bars, or whatever. To the orchestrators: leave my life alone. They're so much proof to all this...i guess amidst everything else, maybe they can see memories...-

- i mean would it kill these people to go the conventional route and use a lie detector with all involved? It's so easy to clear this up. Based on what I truly want for my life, all of this is a mess.

- based on tech they use, in claiming 2 help me(when i need no help aside from telling me whats happening), they try to justify lies 2slander me or try to get me 2write all day. They perpetuate nonsense 2get me 2write, 2 I guess, see if they can predict it-to put it another way.

and going back to conflict resolution at the party school? there was one thing i forgot to mention. not only did he allow this to transpire without telling me. -

-on the day of my exams, when the sounds projected 2 me, made threats 2 a relative of mine, there, by saying "maybe we should help him too", I called Conflict Resolution @ party school several times. They wouldn't pick up. I think I left messages, but no call back. -

- in the face of harassment, threats, evolving to what it is today, under a false impression by people of power, such is the party school.

- U gotta wonder amidst yrs of this mental strain, especially at party school, where was cr*p flowery Amerian psychology/counseling system, what was the school's Conflict Resolution doing. -

-at that party school, failures all around..at the time I was there, academic departments were closing like i think their French department. but whatever. orchestrators are people in power, parading as those of quality, when they're not. 11 years of torture attest to that.

and one normal tweet for when we can move past this...-

love the @onepeloton (peloton). love #leannehainsby (cycling trainer) for her appearance, personality, and training.

[cloudbattrolls]

Bleeding Heart

Matcha Ginia [GG] tries to befriend Etuuya Vannyn [TT] , who is naturally skeptical of her intentions after they upset her by revealing their true nature and confused by her gift of blood after their second office interaction. 

a.k.a two vampires dance in circles around each other, trying to figure the other out. 

-- twitteringTailor [TT] has begun trolling gladsomeGluttony [GG] -- 

TT: You know, it's not that I'm not grateful, given that Rivali is intent on giving me army rations.

TT: Which I can deal with, but I admit it's nice not to.

TT: But I was surprised when the first one wasn't poisoned, or something.

TT: Not that it would have killed me.

TT: Made me drowsy, perhaps.

TT: Ought I to worry about where you get this from?

TT: Or what else you usually use it for?

TT: I'm not one to judge dark arcane rituals.

TT: Only a tiny bit.

TT: Don't get me wrong, I doubt you're going to tell me, but I'm back in the cavern now and I finished the sweeping.

TT: so I've nothing to do but be a chatterbug.

GG: :V

TT: [snail emoji]

GG: 

GG: [cat emoji]

GG: i use iiiiit to patch up a friend, usually? 

GG: and i get it from another friend who works in a hostilespital, althooouuugh they havent had access lately 

GG: what was the other question? :V

TT: your friend must get injured an awful lot, but that's more of an answer than I expected so I'll take it.

GG: ;V

TT: I have plenty of other questions, but you didn't really answer those, either.

TT: If you want a bit of information free of charge, though; Rivali let up on keeping me away.

TT: Not that they're not going to lock me up, for the peace of mind of everyone else in the office, but you can visit if you like.

TT: Unless this is where you shout 'psyche' and give up the joke.

TT: I'd applaud your dedication.

GG: 

GG: that would be a huge waste of energy :V

TT: Something suggests you have a much-longer running motive though.

TT: It would be, wouldn't it.

TT: Unless there was a dare or something involved, but I'm not allowed to question that now, so none of my business if there is.

GG: whaaaaat 

GG: youre allowed to question what you want!! 

GG: even if im kiiiiind of hurt that you think im doing this to make fun of you 

GG: i just dont think its fair to starve you, thats all!! 

GG: i know how much it sucks to go hungry >:V

TT: If you get upset again, Rivali blames me.

GG:

TT: Greenlet, why do you think they changed their mind?

GG: out of the kindness of their pusher? :V

TT: I don't think they have any kindness in their pusher, dear. I think they replaced it all with ramrods.

TT: No, it's because they're afraid, but they rather value your agency more than mine.

GG: dont be mean, theyre a really nice person! 

GG: 

GG: to 

GG: other people, i guess 

GG: sorry :'O

TT: It's really not your fault.

TT: I don't say any of this to guilt you.

TT: I may not have a bull's notion why you're doing this, but I don't bear you any ill will.

GG: im 

GG: glad you dont? :V

TT: You sound a tad unsure about that.

GG: i waaasnt really expecting you to in the first place, and now im thinking about it :V

TT: Do you want me to be mad? It would explain what happened last time.

GG: what!! >:V

TT: Self-flagellation is a silly route to go down, greenlet.

TT: There are better ways to work out your guilt.

TT: Though you really shouldn't have any.

GG: 

GG:

TT: If I were someone else, perhaps.

TT: Then it might be appropriate.

TT: But not with me.

GG: woooow, youre kind of a hypocrite

GG: :P

TT: How so?

TT: I'm quite lost here.

GG: noooooo, but im backtracking 

GG: how would wanting you to be mad explain last time? 

GG: what did i do D:

TT: I could just be throwing darts in the dark, but it felt rather like you wandered over because you felt bad and you wanted me to feel bad, and then you did something that clearly required some effort and desire to go behind Rivali's back. Not that Rivali is difficult to fool, but it still involves some risk for no clear reward on your part, and I certainly didn't do anything that merited such a generous act. Therefore I can only assume it was motivated by guilt or you're just daft, but I highly doubt the second one. Daft people generally don't plan so well.

TT: I didn't react angrily, so your guilt wasn't assuaged, and you had to find some other method.

GG: whaaaaaat 

GG: of course i felt guilty over getting you in trouble, but i didnt want you to feel bad! >:V 

GG: it just felt unfair, and i had to do something about it!! 

GG: 

GG: and im glaaaad i dont come off as daft to you? im pretty sure youre the only person who thinks that :'O

TT: Don't be silly, greenlet, of course you did. Perhaps not much, and perhaps you even felt bad about that, but when someone shows you something horrifying with no apparent remorse, it'd be a rare troll who didn't want them to feel guilty about it.

TT: It's not something I blame you for.

TT: Perhaps Rivali is right.

TT: At least from a practical standpoint.

TT: I have to admit, your idea of 'unfair' throws me.

TT: That I can't puzzle out.

TT: You know I'm property, right?

TT: I wasn't kidding about being a science experiment.

TT: The man who started it is long dead, but I still belong to the Empire.

TT: Why do you think Rivali does as they please, even though I'm many times their senior?

TT: If I am the only person who thinks that, then your coworkers are silly.

TT: Or they don't appreciate you.

TT: Whichever.

GG: you showed that to me because you felt cornered and wanted me to back off! 

GG: of course you dont feel bad about it >:V 

GG: 

GG: you dont, right? 

GG: 

GG: and of course i know youre property! i guess its just 

GG: hard to grasp? you have feelings just like the rest of us! and if i was in your place, i would want someone to be nice to me >:V 

GG: and they do appreciate me, dont be mean! you can still like someone if theyre a little ditzy >:V

TT: Who said I don't feel bad about it?

GG: you!!

TT: I said apparent remorse.

GG:

TT: You missed a trick.

TT: Now I'm hardly sobbing my oculars out.

TT: And I stand by my reasoning being sound.

TT: But I don't actually enjoy upsetting people, for the most part.

TT: It was a necessary evil, but look at all the effect it had.

TT: About the same as a grub flinging itself at a windshield.

GG: sorry ;O

TT: If you were, we wouldn't be having this little back-and-forth, but I'm not here to wag my finger at you for it.

GG: youre doing a lot of finger wagging for that! ;P

TT: 'For that' being the operative phrase.

TT: ...I have to admit, it's been a while since someone cited 'feelings' as basis for personhood to me.

TT: Even I'm not buying that one.

TT: Zombies have feelings, and most of them are about as sapient as my shoes.

TT: But more the point, my feelings don't really count legally.

TT: And it's not really my concern if people are nice to me.

GG: 

GG: does it hurt you if im nice to you?? >:V

TT: No, but it could potentially hurt you.

TT: That was my point.

TT: Not about to argue that, though, pointless endeavor.

GG: kiiiiind of!

GG: becauuuse its a liiiiittle condescending to try to make decisions for me like this! >:V

TT: See, Rivali's logic is that you deserve to make your own mistakes.

TT: I guess they agree with you there.

TT: Also, greenlet, if I seem condescending, it's because I can't quite wrap my head around someone wanting to be buddies with me after they know the truth.

TT: I can infer reasonings behind your individual actions, but the whole is still very much a mystery.

TT: I have doubts it's part of some elaborate plot, you wouldn't really have much to gain.

TT: Yet who willingly befriends something like me? You're not daft, so it's not that.

TT: A desire to prove your own goodwill?

TT: I suppose that's a decent reason.

TT: Or just to prove you can, perhaps.

GG: 

GG: 

GG: dooooes it 

GG: matter if im doing this because im selfish? 

GG: youre getting food and someone to talk to out of it!

GG: if you want me to leave you alone, i will

TT: Not really. You're not bad company.

TT: I just don't want you putting more into this than you should.

GG: you should stop worrying my worries for me ;O

TT: Perhaps I have my own, greenlet.

GG: seeeee 

GG: you can worry those instead!

TT: You would find them insulting.

TT: So I would rather approach it from your motivations instead of my suspicions.

GG:

GG: :V ?

TT: I'm not keen to hurt your feelings again, for several reasons.

GG: 

GG: you shouldnt have to worry about that!! >:V 

GG: if this is about rivali, i can blame it on my recent breakup!

TT: gracious.

TT: clever, though, they'll buy that.

GG: 

GG: do you think so? :O

TT: redirection is as good of a strategy as any.

TT: especially for Rivali, who loves silly relationship comedy shows.

GG: pffffffffff 

GG: i knoooow, its adorable

TT: Don't say that to them.

TT: They don't know how to handle compliments.

TT: At least on anything that's not work.

GG: i know ;V

GG: i figured that out the hard way, pffff

TT: I suppose the greater mystery is why you want to defend them.

TT: They're not really very nice.

TT: They're obsessed with excelling at work.

TT: Thus they don't want you upset.

GG: thats your perspective! >:V 

GG: theyre trying their best!!

TT: Do you know why I suddenly turned up, greenlet?

GG: nooooo?

TT: Rivali caught me and used a hired gun to shoot me in the pumper six times.

GG:

TT: It's not even because they hate drinkers, or anything silly like that.

TT: They just saw an opportunity.

GG: an opportunity?

TT: I'm a science experiment they haven't been able to replicate since.

TT: I can say without any false modesty that I'm valuable.

GG: 

GG: thats a smart move, though! 

GG: 

GG: iiiiif 

GG: youre not weird like me and get attached, i guess :V

TT: It would be smart if Rivali wasn't fighting a hopeless battle.

TT: They want their cavern to accept them and promote them.

TT: That's not going to happen.

TT: They might as well have left me for all the good it did them.

GG: oh dear

TT: Why do you think they got transferred to you?

TT: Just having them work aboveground wasn't enough for their head matron, I suppose; they sent them further away.

TT: and like their barkbeast lusus with a bone, they won't let go of trying to get prestige.

GG: 

GG: 

GG: thats reeeaaaally similar to my my story :'V 

GG: thats so sad though

TT: Don't mistake Rivali as being like you, greenlet.

TT: They don't care who they have to use to get ahead.

TT: I mean, perhaps you don't either, but I imagine you'd at least pause.

GG:

TT: It's less sad and more born of bitterness.

GG: thats so sad though

TT: Don't project on them, they're more than old enough to know better.

GG: whaaaat, and im not?

TT: You're what, nine? Ten?

GG: niiiiine :V

GG: 

GG: i dont like where this is going :V

TT: Rivali is fourteen.

TT: Bit of a difference there.

TT: They would be old enough to make a lower-ranked matron by now, if they had their way.

TT: Old enough to know their efforts are pointless, presumably unlike whatever you want to do.

TT: Which is another likely difference between you.

GG: pfffff 

GG: dooo you know why im doing this job?

TT: Not a clue.

TT: I'd be open to learning.

GG: myyyy headmatron threw me out of the cavern, because she hated my guts that much 

 GG: and now im sloooowly working my way up here, but theres a huuuuge chance that im never going to be very good at it! 

 GG: i just dont work fast enough, or even smart enough :'V

TT: Am I really supposed to believe you're not smart enough.

TT: You keep pretending but it's fairly plain you're plenty smart enough.

GG: im people smart, not book smart :'I

TT: Hm.

GG: >:V

TT: and did she? that's rather petty.

GG: a liiiiittle 

GG: she ruled with an iron fist, pffff 

GG: her part of the cavern was the most efficient one

TT: I find that unlikely if she was prone to making decisions based solely on personal dislike.

GG: i miiiiight have 

GG: lost a few important documents?

GG: but pfffffff, i dont want to talk badly about her!!

TT: Who am I going to tell? I don't care.

TT: But I'm hardly going to ask you to rag on her either.

GG: youre doing a pretty bad impression of not caring!

TT: I meant about if you talk badly of her.

GG: pffff, okay! 

GG: but then im preeeeetty sure im wasting my breath and boring you to death right now! 

GG: 

GG: 

GG: that was insensitive, im so sorry :'V

TT: How was that insensitive?

TT: Inaccurate, but not insensitive.

GG: 

GG: yooooure dead, right?

TT: Interesting question.

TT: Given that was happened to me was an intentional operation done in laboratory settings, I'm not really sure if I am.

TT: I never actually was killed.

TT: Even if I was, I would have to be extremely petty and oversensitive to be offended by such a thing, though.

GG: i never knooooow 

GG: i keep trying not to step on peoples walkstubs, and then doing it anyways :'V

TT: I'm prone to bursts of pettiness but usually over things that are more worth my time.

TT: Greenlet, I'm a one hundred and several decades sweep old rainbowdrinker whose existence is an offense to trollkind.

TT: It's a bit difficult to genuinely step on my walkstubs.

GG: you can have feelings if you want! >:V

TT: I have feelings, greenlet, but generally they don't involve being upset over things that don't matter enough to me to be upset over.

TT: If someone hurt my snails, I would be upset.

TT: This? Doesn't register.

GG: 

GG: okay :V

GG: aaaanyways 

GG: aaaare you 

GG: happy with this?

TT: Do specify, dear.

GG: weeeeell 

GG: you came here looking for a reason why im trying to befriend you, right??

TT: More to state the reasons why I'm skeptical of that.

TT: I wasn't really expecting you to answer.

TT: If it were that simple, I'd have figured it out already.

GG: :V 

GG: soooo iiiii 

GG: typed a lot for nothing

TT: Not to me.

GG: 

GG: you dont have to figure people out, though!

TT: Imagine for a moment you're a creature who tends to repulse people just by existing, never mind by showing what they can do.

TT: It's unusual if people don't react with immediate fear, disgust, and shunning you, if they know what you can do.

TT: You understand those, at least, they make sense.

TT: and then someone comes along and says that's unfair, even though they don't gain any apparent benefit from it.

TT: It's understandably strange and you wonder why.

GG: i was scared of you at first!

GG: but youre a troll around the worms, and one thats getting the reeeeaaaally short end of things

TT: My situation isn't as bad as you seem to think.

GG: 

GG: maybe i have too much empathy to be a good citizen :'O

TT: It's not like I'm being tortured every night. 

TT: That was part of the deal.

GG: 

GG: 

GG: oh dear.

TT: why oh dear.

TT: that's a good thing.

GG: its not a good thing that it was on the table! 

GG: 

GG: are you happy like this, then?

TT: greenlet, dear, what do you think happens to things like me, usually? tea and cookies?

TT: It's fine enough. I have my snails, I have my phone because Rivali's figured out trying to take it from me is a bad idea. I still have my contacts.

TT: Life could be significantly worse. I'm not about to complain.

GG: 

 GG: okay

GG: im sorry if me trying to chatter at you is weird, then

TT: It's strange but not unwelcome.

TT: If I didn't like it, I wouldn't have messaged you.

GG: soooo i can 

GG: keep doing it?

TT: If you like, though in more practical matters, I figure I ought to repay you for the blood.

TT: My stipend's been confiscated, but I'm sure we can figure something out.

GG: noooo you dont have tooooo

TT: for my own peace of mind I enjoy not being in debt too long.

GG: its not a debt, i get it for free!!

TT: It's still a favor to me that must cost you some effort.

TT: Time is as valuable as caegers.

GG: pffff, not really xV 

GG: 

GG: mayyybe you could tell me the office gossip you hear? ;V

TT: I don't think sitting in my locked room is going to bring me much more than you with your connections already know.

TT: unless you want information on Rivali's cavern, though I don't know why that would be useful.

GG: not reaaally 

GG: 

GG: i dont knoooow

TT: Clearly you like information, though, and I do have contacts.

TT: Some in fleet.

GG: :O

GG: 

GG: i meeeaaan 

GG: i like gossip

TT: gossip is just another word for information.

GG: information about other peoples relationships! ;V

TT: I'm sure that's part of it.

GG: yessss i would love to hear it 

GG: just tell me whenever you hear something interesting, and were even ;O

TT: In a sense. 

-- twitteringTailor [TT] has given up trolling gladsomeGluttony [GG] -- 

[unproduciblesmackdown]

either it was a case of a) ignoring obvious context clues or b) forgetting outright statements in the books or most likely c) both, but i didnt Get that lucius malfoy had been the like head death eater pre-voldemorts quasideath. it makes sense obviously but it makes everything even more ironic? poetic? whatever that basically voldemorts handling of the malfoys was one of the most dumbassed things he did, both by complete accident/coincidence/luck and by voldemorts own crappy choices which make it infinitely easier to off him like i hadnt really thought about it in an organized fashion before knowing that lucius used to be #1 but i guess that just made it more beautiful or something. because its in part all great and heartwarming and stuff that the good choices of good people doing their best does lead to direct successes, but its also great when things that arent supposed to be important or even relevant come into play and small undignified things end up being as crucial as the more grand and dramatic stuff. plus, dumbledore is representing the Man With A Long Con Plan, and he sucks. whereas harry is always just playing by ear and doing all the real work out here anyways it all also makes sense why draco malfoy remains so prominent throughout the series, even in say, book 4, where he truly does nothing impactful save tell harry he sucks and be transfigured into a ferret by a death eater. he's in the top ten characters per mention re: the series as a whole, and even stays in the top twenty chars by mention in dh, where he's hardly even around. i know this from trivia games. and he's like the first hogwarts peer harry meets, right. but the point is despite being introduced as a rival who seems to be heading towards simply being a nuisance, his tangential arc is not only important even when he's only being an annoying dumbass but also voldemort's own bullshit causing his own demise like firstly, it was useful that lucius malfoy was Death Eater Man The First because he essentially raised his child in a cult in an attempt to pretty much clone himself, which sort of worked until like, book 6. which, a fun fact if you overlook these kinds of connect-the-dots clues in the books like i do, means it makes sense why draco made an attempt to befriend harry in the first place and why that attempt was so blindingly crappy: that pre-voldemorts return, former death eaters thought harry potter might turn out to be the next mega evil wizard, so it was probably a lucius-endorsed maneuver, what with it being repeatedly established that lucius's strategy in things is to associate himself with powerful people and try to gain influence and protection that way. but when harry was like fuck off with that, draco realized that harry was just an sjw, even though technically antagonizing hp was not lucius-endorsed. and the cult thing comes into play both in the worst friendship offering of all time and in draco wanting to knock harry down a peg at all times, in that not only was draco brought up on the belief of wide concepts like wizpremacy and blood purity and a voldemort renaissance would be amazing and death eaters are the best, but also the concept that as a pureblood and a malfoy they had an elitism that would be recognized anywhere, so not only should harry have been interested in befriending him and recognizing him as top quality but so should the whole god damn school, neither of which happened, so he takes it all out on harry on account of being jealous and a little shit but maybe that self-appointed rivalry wouldve died down if harry hadn't also been drawn into the pettiness of it all, thank god for it, because it is a) vital to murdering voldemort and b) pretty funny sometimes, when thats the context of the situation, on account of draco's role fluctuating between harmless annoyance to actual threat/antagonist even within the same books. e.g. how in poa, he's sort of indirectly causing real problems via hippogriff executions, but at the same time the part where he shows up and has snape make ron and harry do his potion for him is a little hilarious. i think ron hit him in the face with a crocodile heart in CoS, maybe. potions is where its all happening. but anyways, the point is that harry kind of drags draco along in remaining relevant because theyre both dumb as hell, and immature. like, draco's relevant in the first book because all the little things are more relevant to harry then and he's presumably not happy about once again being hated for no good reason. and in the second one, the trio think draco is the heir of slytherin for a while. he has the buckbeak thing in the third book, in goblet of fire he's really just there in the background being annoying, unhelpful, racist, etc, as per usual but its all so unimportant i barely remember half of what he's even doing in that book. but anyways, like with the other books, despite being outstripped as a real "threat" in harry's world by that point, its still important he's relevant in the fifth book as well, because he's obviously important in the sixth but in a way that started in the fifth book, which means by extension its a way that started in books 1-4 as well because in book 5, even though for once he has some mild direct form of power besides the really powerful yet indirect factor of having a rich dad involved in politics, malfoy still doesnt really manage much. until he manages the fairly major victory of raiding dumbledores army. which didnt turn out to be important since they got out of that tight spot, but it was important because it introduced draco to the room of requirement the 6th book is like, its funny that the reason harry suspected malfoy so much besides seeing a sort of suspicious conversation or two, is mostly just that he's got a grudge against him and also is wondering why draco seems to have gotten a hobby besides annoying him all the time, which is funny because its just accurate. and also relies on their history in all the previous books. but what was really up was that, again, voldemort was ruining everything for himself. on account of deciding to make an example of the malfoys as a way of punishing lucius for totally botching the dept of mysteries thing. like, thats great and all, but it kind of backfires in the whole death-eater-cult thing draco had going on in that he was seeing evidence that being a death eater actually was the worst and everyone was jerks, and that the guy he was modeling himself after was now the lowest amongst them, and voldemorts a dick and his return is actually shitty, and again that they arent seen as The Best for being malfoys, and things arent The Best because voldemorts back, but instead it is bullshit and theyre considered the worst for being malfoys. and the whole Cult Teaching Style really backfires in that sense since when parts of it get disproved to someone the whole thing is now liable to collapse too. and his execution mission was Useful in a load of ways. including that besides the regular voldemort stress there was the stress of malfoy figuring out he wasn't actually up for murder re: katie bell and ron almost dying in the crossfire. which you'd think he mightve thought of before voldemort returned with all his murder agenda, but maybe he really did just assume he'd make a great stone cold killer. presumably there wasnt a lot of thinking shit through about taking on the whole mission in the first place anyways, then the room of requirement is important because he needs it to actually succeed, which apparently none of the masterminds behind the whole thing (voldemort, dumbledore, snape) accounted for. and that whole deal on the astronomy tower just did the important stuff of a) proving to draco that he can't actually kill anyone and b) showing harry that draco disarmed dumbledore, for the whole elder wand business and then the other reason that voldemort inadvertently turned the malfoys against him was that, by sending their son off to die while simultaneously antagonizing them at all times, of course he made the situation such that by the 7th book even bullshit lucius is really mostly interested in their family making it out alive, which as per usual means doing whatever it takes with whoevers on top to do so. total #malfoys, ttly slytherin. but anyways? honestly? there were such infinitely better ways to use the fact that the malfoy family actually gave a shit about each other besides "you did this wrong so i'll kill your kid as punishment." on account of that just gives them reason to resent voldemort, would have left them with a lot less to lose should draco have actually died (did voldemort expect dumbledore to actually kill a 16-yr old who was one of his students or something? he sucks but hes a lot more passive in his negligence towards his student body), it was a waste of draco's potential use on account of he was clearly not only more competent than voldemort expected but also? he had been raised from birth to think voldemort was the best and his rule would be the best and being a death eater would be the best. and voldemort not only threw away a would-be useful death eater to die but also basically disillusioned draco of all his ideas about what life w voldemort around was like. and then theres the fact that, since voldemort knew lucius and narcissa cared enough about draco to suffer at his death, why wouldn't he have instead essentially used draco as a hostage to have their motivation be centered around that rather than gaining or maintaining status. its not like there were that many powerful death eaters at his disposal. i mean, narcissa is probably on the level of the best of them yet her abilities are really never called upon. like, she was ready to kill or die for draco, when she gave draco her wand it meant both she and lucius didnt have a wand at that point but she wasnt fucking around. and voldemort considered draco throwaway anyways and thought the best card he could play was to kill him? when he was that valuable to such powerful people? okay pal, sure. i mean probably he really didnt realize the extent to which the malfoys (particularly narcissa lbr, the saving grace of moms theme) actually cared about draco as their kid and not just like family honor shit or whatever, since thats a theme with him and then of course, besides voldemorts wasted opportunities there, draco's whole suicide-mission-that-actually-worked-out came into play when the trio gets caught by death eaters in dh and brought to his house and draco doesn't narc harry over to voldemort. on account of its fairly established to him by that point that he's not about killing anyone, even if it would moreso redeem his family to turn him in or be kind of anti-voldemort not to. this is useful when a) it means voldemort doesnt show up and murder harry a few times and b) it means harry's also alive to bust out and get some wands from draco. which he would also need for the elder wand business and which he would recognize as a crucial advantage because he'd witnessed draco disarm dumbledore because voldemort was a dumbass and gave him that mission and he could do it via the room of requirement which he found because of antagonizing harry during year 5 because of the longstanding feud he and harry had maintained ever since the hogwarts express ride before year 1 when their interaction stemmed from draco's dad being a major death eater player and then anyways despite kind of getting in harrys way again in the room of requirement which is a whole bit that feels almost nostalgic in that situation, with the battle being elsewhere and the broomsticks and everyone just taking a moment in the hall afterwards to be like jesus christ i need a gatorade. but it was useful in harry saving draco from dying then, which was funny with ron's line about if we die for them i'll kill you, but yknow harrys spontaneous heroics and neither him nor malfoy being interested in the other actually dying or anything. and then them saving malfoy again from some random death eater, which was an even more optional life saving maneuver. technically harry couldve lied i guess, but it was relevant when his life depended on telling narcissa that draco was alive in hogwarts as far as he knew. i dont think he realized why she was asking and what the effects of his answer would be until after he'd actually done so, so i guess its not as though he had the chance to weigh the option of lying anyways. plus, all that spontaneous heroics stuff and harry not being a particularly good liar and the thing that i cant remember if its canon or inferred theory that narcissa is a really good occlumens/legilimens, whereas harry is bullshit at that. but anyways, what was really important there was The Theme, aka that moms keep saving the world via the sake of their kids. and for that to happen in a literary sense draco had to be alive, even though maybe the intent wouldve counted, who knows, whatever anyways and then of course its relevant again when harry doesnt kill voldemort with his own twin wand even though that would be the dramatic and strategic thing to do, but with a wand he happened to snatch on improv of some rando bullshit student in his year who voldemort tried to have killed off because he's a wipe and terrible at everything, which is also how the horcruxes thing played out. and he keeps underestimating everyones mom. and thats how draco despite seeming largely useless for most of the series winds up being so useful he's mentioned in the final confrontation with voldemort right up to the point of harry actually killing voldemort. and its all because of death eaterdom doing itself in and voldemort doing himself in too and because draco and harry happened to have a mutual stubborn pettiness going on, but not so much so that they were going to let the other get killed. what with them being 17 and everyone having some god damn sense, particularly malfoy with his sense-gaining experience of the year prior and the whole not being twelve factor tldr the themes are: harrys spontaneous heroics, voldemorts self-destructive lack of comprehension of Love, your mom, and being a petty shithead and having a few ridiculous happenstantial encounters are whats important

[punkwithpaints]

Ungrateful Weeb (Weeb story #3)

So, my Junior year, my art teacher asks me to come over to her desk to talk to me about something. I was just hanging out in the art room (As usual.) I wasn’t a part of this class, It was like, Art 1 or 2, I forget. But I was hanging around anyway. She points out a new student, gonna call her CM. She tells me that she’s kinda shy, and is very good at color choices, shading, all that jazz, however, is not very good at coming up with original work/style. 

You guessed it, she drew anime.

Now, thing is, it wasn’t like, shitty, horribly draw animu. It was actually well draw and colored great. Considering this person only had access to crayola and sharpies, it was pretty awesome. My teacher asked me to go over and talk to her to see if I could convince her to step outside the anime territory and try something new. My confidence to stand up for myself had grown, but I’m the kind of person that waits for someone else to start the conversation usually. But, whatever, sure, I’ll talk to her. So, I head over where she’s drawing and kinda just look over her shoulder. I noticed she had a second sketchbook out and it was the same brand as mine. “Hey, I have the same sketchbook. They’re pretty good.” She looked up and seemed a little confused to have someone talking to her, but we got to talking and she warmed up pretty quick. She asked if I drew too, and I said I did. She was super excited and asked if she could see my sketchbooks and she would let me see hers. Alright, sounds fine. Now, she’s a little loud, but I can be too, so I don’t mind too much. 

I had my ‘regular’ sketchbook which was a sketchbook that I had whatever I was currently working on in it. I also had my Concept sketchbook with me, which had drawings and references for my characters I had created. So, pulled them out and sat them on the table for her, letting her decide if she wanted to look at both or one. Shit you not, she pulled out like, 5 sketchbooks, complete full. (They have around 60 pages per sketchbook I think.) Okay, whoa, shit, hold on. I signed up to see what your making now, not your life story. 

She doesn’t even touch my sketchbooks, just staring at me expectantly. I awkwardly take the sketchbooks and start flipping through them. Again, amazingly colored and not bad at all, but very ‘eh’ in the originality area. i just felt like I was looking through screenshots of varies anime’s and the google image page for the search ‘anime girl’ or ‘anime boy’. I told her they were nice, but she wouldn’t let me stop looking until I went through every single book. THEN she started on mine. It was odd to me, considering other artists who I’ve swapped sketchbooks with typically look through mine the same time I look through theirs. She flips through AS FAST A POSSIBLE (I tried to take my time, being nice to take time to look at details.) while basically screaming. 

“AHHHHH YOU DREW ALL THESE?!?! WOW. THAT’S CRAZY, HOW DO YOU DO THAT?!!!! I WISH I COULD DRAW LIKE THIS!!11! I HATE YOU. CAN i JUST HAVE YOUR TALENT PLEASE!!?!?!? OHMYGAWWWWWWWWWD!!!! I’M GONNA STEAL YOUR ART JESUS. CAN YOU MARRY ME?”

Okay, thank you for liking my stuff but holy shit. Honestly, I understand she was complimenting my art but I’ve heard the whole ‘I wish I could draw like this’. ‘Can I have your talent?’ (Not a talent, it’s a skill.) and all that so much it honestly annoys me to death. And to have them screaming while taking .2 seconds per drawing to look at it was even worse. You’re not even actually looking at the art, you’re just screaming. So I thanked her and let her keep screaming, very loudly all the way through my sketchbooks. This had gotten the attention of everyone is the class, who now, was staring at me. I was flustered and uncomfortable with not only the things she was saying, but everyone looking at me. Anyway, I finally tell her: “Hey,if you wanna maybe develop a style like this, you can always try drawing other things. Learning realism is a really important part of it.” She kinda just blew it off and kept gushing over Tokyo Ghoul and Black Butler, talking about she only drew anime and blah blah blah. 

Through out the year, she’d always run up to me, showing me a new drawing, and I always was supportive but tried to gently encourage her to draw something other than anime. She would only not draw anime if it was impossible to fit into one of the assignments. Pointillism? Anime character. Pencil drawing? Anime. Still life drawings were the only thing she couldn’t put anime in, and she complained the whole time. Thing was, she had a lot of potential to do amazing things with her skill level, but didn’t want to. 

At some point of time, she noticed my drawing were with markers. She asked:

“Do you use markers for your drawings?!?” I answered that I did and she continued with, “ARE THEY COPICS?!!!!!???” I just nodded and was like, “Uh, yeah, actually.” 

“OMFG COPICS OMG OMGOMGZDJDBFDSJ COPICS ARE THE BEST MARKERS I WANT THEM SO BAD OMG THEY’RE USED FOR MANGA AND I NEED THEM SO MUCH. CAN i HAVE SOME????”

Uh, excuse me? Can you have some??? No? Hell no? They’re expensive as fuck and I’ve saved up a long time to get the ones I have. I just kinda laughed, cause I thought she was joking. Nope, turns out she was begging for even just one of them. I told her no, that I couldn’t do that. She wouldn’t stop begging. I kept explaining that they we’re expensive and I had bought them with my own money. I tried to help her out by giving her the website that I got them from, but she said her parents didn’t let her buy stuff off the internet. Not my problem dude, go to Michaels or something. Eventually, she stopped asking. For that day. 

One day, I’m working on a piece. She had migrated to sit across from me since I regularly came into this class to work on stuff. I had my markers in my satchel, still in one of the 72 copic case’s, along with two of the 12 marker grey sets. (Warm and neutral) I’d like to say the 72 set was all bought individually, not as a complete set. I found buying them separately helped me get a color selection that was best matched to what I drew, and I wouldn’t have a bunch of marker colors I would never touch. I had been in the art room the period before hers, so I already had claimed my usual area with my markers sitting on the table by me. She came in, and all I hear is this high pitched screeching and she comes running over, grabbing some of my markers from the case to look at them. 

Don’t touch my shit. Especially my markers.

“OHMYGAWD COPICS!!!!! I’VE NEVER SEEN ONE BEFORE IN REAL LIFE!!!!! THEY’RE SO PRETTY! OMG LOOK AT THIS BLUE!! OMG NO THIS ONE! AHHHHH THEYRE SO NICE!!! YOU HAVE SO MANY!!!!!!!!”

I gently (as much as I didn’t want to be gentle) took the markers back and put them in the case, kinda just being like, “Yeah, they’re great. I’ve saved up for a long time now. Thanks.” She wouldn’t stop freaking out over them, as if they were the damn Holy Grail. I mean, I get it, it’s a nice marker, but damn. She kept telling me how badly she wanted copics and would die just to have a few, all the while, staring at me expectantly, as if I’m gonna be like, “WELL GOODNESS ME! Let me just give you mine! Of course!” She realized I wasn’t budging and kinda pouted. 

Now, as I’m coloring, I see this hand just slowly reach for my markers that are out of the case and laying by my sketchbook since I’m using them. I look up, and she acts all surprised I caught her and laughs. “I was just gonna burrow one to see how they work!” Nope. You’re watching me draw, you can see just fine how they work. I try and tell her no, but she snatches up the blue one she liked so much, and scribbled it on her paper, gasping dramatically and squealing. “IT’S SO PRETTY!!!!!!! I LOVE THIS COLOR!!!!!!” 

Excuse me, what the fuck. 

So I get my marker back and tell her more or less not to use anymore. 5 minutes later, there she was reaching for my markers again. Are you shitting me?

I just looked at her and shes like:

“HAHAhahahaa lol can I just use them to color in the skin of one of my drawings???”

No.

“Oh come on! Please???”

No, my skintones are running low on ink and I need to buy refills. 

“Well, can I color in the eyes at least?”

No. They’re expensive and my parents wouldn’t be very happy about me letting other people use them...

“Just really quick!!!!!!! *grabs for my markers again*”

I once again, pulled the markers away and very firmly said no. I knew that if I gave her an inch, she’d take a mile. So I told her no and she seemed to quit. However, she was obviously mad I wouldn’t let her use them. So, she started being a jerk instead. 

Over the course of that year, she constantly would make me feel bad for having the markers, asking if “It was nice being rich.” while complaining that she only had crayola. I remember I had went to Hobby Lobby at some point and had a coupon for an item. I bought a 12 set of Derwent Inktense pencils. Originally they were 35 dollars, but my coupon made them like, 15 dollars or something like that. They had one of those sticker price tags on the front of the tin. I had them with me one day, and of course, she snatches them up before screeching to the whole class, “*Dramatic choking and gasping sounds, accompanied by wheezing noises and clutching her chest* THIRTY-...THIRTY FIVE DOLLARS FOR 12 PENCILS?!!! GOD YOU ARE RICH!!!! WHO WOULD PAY THAT? ARE YOU STUPID?!!” I tried to explain I had a coupon and they were a great brand and was something I had been wanting to try, but no, she just kept yelling at me for it. “THAT’S SUCH A WASTE OF MONEY!!!!” 

Any time I would use my markers, she would of course try and get me to let her use them and try and just grab them. I would keep telling her no, and eventually kept the case in my bag, next to me and not on the table, so she couldn’t grab at them. She continued to bitch now about how I was ‘rich’ and I spent too much money on markers, obviously pissed I wasn’t giving her what she wanted and jealous. This continued through the school year, and when the art show rolled around, she looked at me as I was matting some of my marker pieces and gasped, “ARE YOU PUTTING THOSE IN THE SHOW????” Well duh, yeah. “Yeah...” “THAT’S NOT FAIR! YOU’RE RICH AND CAN AFFORD THOSE! YOU SHOULDN’T PUT THEM IN BECAUSE NONE OF USE CAN AFFORD THAT!.” 

Bruh. 

Whatever, if you’ve read my past stories, you know I’ve dealt with this shit for forever, and don’t care anymore but butthurt people. Senior year rolls around and she still sits by me and forces me to look at her 5,000 sketchbooks Every. Single. Day. EVERY PAGE. Child, I’ve seen it, a dozen times. I have nothing left to tell you.Remeber when I said that if I gave her an inch she’d take a mile? Senior trip was coming up, so all senior year I sold homemade brownies. I knew she didn’t normally have money, so the first time she asked for one for free, I let her. After that, every day she would whine and cry, trying to get a free brownie from me. Nah. So, Senior trips ends and I have close to 600 dollars or something left over, since I didn’t really buy anything while I was in New York.

I got back just in time to go on an art trip. We were visiting a near by college for art related things and decided that we could stop by a Michaels/Hobby Lobby after we left. I took my money I had left over, having rather spend it on supplies instead. I got in with my basket and go ahead, loading up on markers and pens, just things I had been wanting to try out. I checked out and came back to the bus with my bags. Sure enough, she see’s I have multiple bags and starts yelling, “WHOA DID YOU BUY ENOUGH?????!!! WHAT DID YOU BUY?!? THE STORE?!?!??” She then starts asking repeatedly how much everything cost. I really didn’t wanna disclose that information to her, considering I knew how she would act. (BTW, it wasn’t 600 dollars.) She basically forced me to tell her and kept screaming it to the whole bus while once again saying I was rich and stupid or spending that much money...wow it’s like I saved up money for a full year or something. 

During this year, the art classes were told they could enter into a contest held my Dole fruit cups. they created a poster or something. Winning school got money for the class, and also like, a shit ton of fruit cups. I don’t know man, it was weird. CM took part, and she actually did really good, considering she didn’t do anime. So, her poster won and our class got like, 500 dollars or something to spend on supplies. At this point, it’s toward the end of the semester, so my teacher asked me about CM. She had come from a low income family, kinda low class, and Miss B wanted to get her some markers since she always talked about mine. Fair enough, I’ll help you figure out a brand to get her. She tells me she’s not getting copics, since she’s only using a certain about of the winnings to buy CM markers while rest goes towards supplies we REALLY needed. Mama B decided on Dick Blick Studio markers. Good for beginners, but still around 150-200 dollars for a set of 48 or something.

Markers come in and she gives them to CM, who acts so happy and amazed, until Miss B left. 

Shit you not, this ass looks at me and goes: 

“Pffffft, what am I suppose to do with these????? I don’t even like markers! What brand even is this???”

Are you fucking kidding me. 

I got a note later that night on DeviantArt that said, “I wish I had your Copics still ;u;” 

Fuck you. 

She dropped out after that year.

[journeysintowebcomics]

Homestuck Liveblog #171

UPDATE 171: Like Punching Your Own Face

Last time Roxy had managed to create the matriorb out of thin air, and Dave and Dirk were finally having a much-needed conversation, Dave unloading everything he had in his head regarding Bro’s way of raising him. It was raw and made me sympathize a lot with Dave, but it’s not over yet. Let’s continue.

The first thing I read in this update is Dirk apologizing. Huh. It wasn’t your fault, Dirk, Dave simply had the bad luck of being raised by a sucky version of you. Then again, as it was pointed to me: Dirk himself admitted long ago that he has no business raising anyone. He’s not wrong, if this was the result. Roxy didn’t do a stellar job, but she wasn’t a complete disaster – the ocean-sized gap that’s the lack of communication between the Lalondes was the problem. All in all, maybe not having to raise them by themselves would have helped.

DAVE: you had a completely different life full of like  DAVE: different choices and actions and stuff 

He’s not wrong about that, environment shapes people a lot. I wonder how alternate Dave would have raised Dirk if there wasn’t the slight problem of Dirk being a few centuries in the future...and also if alternate Dave hadn’t been killed. That can’t have been of help either.

Dirk continues feeling responsible of what Bro did, saying he needs to take responsibility for all the splinters that are him. It’s hard to understand, a bit. I honestly can’t even start saying how complicated it is to feel like that – but somehow I have the feeling that a lot of people in the world would feel responsible for what their alternates do. I don’t know if I would.

DIRK: I've felt...  DIRK: Haunted by them.  DIRK: And what that really means is, I'm perpetually haunted by my own bad qualities. 

You literally made glasses that are filled with some of your own bad qualities, Dirk. You kinda brought that one to yourself, just saying.

Dave appreciates Dirk’s apologies, even though it feels weird to hear it from someone that isn’t the Bro he knew, which in turn makes Dirk confess that he isn’t even happy with his relationships with his peers – especially with Jake. Well yeah, no surprise there, everything is still a fresh wound. It was just a day ago or so that Jake was telling to other people that he felt suffocated. Who knows, maybe in the future that’ll change! Don’t give up, Dirk.

It’s nice to see that Dave and Dirk are trying to give support to each other despite the trouble they have to connect. It’s clumsy, it’s distant, but they’re trying. It’s more akin to pulling teeth than a heartfelt conversation, buuuuuuut it’s the best the Striders can do.

DAVE: you dont actually seem like a bad person to me though  DIRK: No?  DAVE: nah  DIRK: Why not?  DIRK: We did just meet, after all.  DAVE: because  DAVE: i dunno if truly bad people wrestle so much with whether theyre good or bad 

Dirk is not a bad person. He can be extremely difficult to deal with, but he’s not bad. I’m sure hearing it from Dave will make it resonate more than if he had heard it from anyone else, even if everyone else would be more energetic about telling him that he’s a good person. Dirk isn’t even accepting it from Dave at face value, although he is grateful about it. Everyone else idolized him, after all.

DIRK: She meant well, but was so enamored of me, and seemingly everything I did.  DIRK: Which I think was the last thing I needed.  DIRK: To be idolized in some form by other people I respected.  DIRK: I had enough of that feeling coming from within, particularly when I was younger. 

No wonder Bro ended like that. I really don’t think anyone dared to tell him about his flaws. I suppose that maybe this could be interpreted as a sign that Bro respected Dave, but I’m not going to think that’s correct. That relationship was pretty messed up, after all.

Dave sounds genuinely floored to hear everything his alternate self did in Dirk’s universe, including killing clown presidents and somehow managing to make a million Statues of Liberty. I’m still wrapping my head around that one. Could that have been how things would have gone if the world hadn’t ended horribly? Hm...no. The movies and all were a way to give the Condesce a sucker punch, no Condesce means those concrete movies wouldn’t exist. It’s hard to say what would have happened. Maybe Dave really would have gone into the fields that study dead stuff.

Dirk tried to follow Dave’s perceived good traits. Golly, Dave must have never seen that coming.

DIRK: You get to apply all that potential you showed in one reality to something much bigger and more existentially critical.  DIRK: Whatever strength you showed in trying to save a dying planet, the fact is, I think we need that more here.  DIRK: And the trials inherent in being a part of something like this, I think they bring more out of you than a relatively pedestrian life on Earth would. Make you face more things about yourself. At least, that's been true for me. 

Oh hey, I just realized that this alternate Dave pretty much did everything that’s expected of the Dave we know: fight, resist, and pretty much be a cornerstone of the rebellion against the Condesce. He’s everything Dave doesn’t think he can be. Think about that, Dave.

DIRK: I hope it doesn't come off as overly sentimental garbage, but it seems to me like you turned out to be a really good dude.  DIRK: Like, really, a better sort of dude I ever imagined talking to when I pictured meeting the legendary guy I idolized.  DIRK: I pictured him as probably being "too cool" to be the type of guy you are.  DIRK: But you know what, fuck being too cool for that.

Congratulations, you pretty much punched Dave’s hopes from when he was thirteen years old. It’s for the better. Somehow hearing that Dave is not the “cool” person Dave had once hoped Bro would see him as catches him off-guard. Here we go! This’ll be the turning point for Dave, won’t be it? Things are going to change for him – hopefully! Dave certainly had the big character arc in Homestuck, even if he says people don’t have arcs.

And here we go!

DAVE: its really fucked up of me  DAVE: what im presently doing  DAVE: so  DAVE: sorry about that  DIRK: Oh, y-  DIRK: Yeah.  DIRK: Man.  DIRK: This is some fucked up shit alright.  DAVE: i know

This is much more than I expected. Of all things that could happen, a hug wasn’t even close to the top of the list. This is actually a pretty sweet moment, I’m glad it actually happened. Part of me was sure Hussie wouldn’t show them talking, but he did. I’m glad I was proven wrong about it.

So! There’s only one conversation left before things may kick into overdrive straight towards the last part of Homestuck! Roxy is going to meet Kanaya, surely to give her the matriorb. Things are winding down everywhere else, it won’t be long now!

Roxy appears from the skies with a ‘heeeeeey’ and repeats it a few more times, preparing the surprise by telling her to guess what she brought. I can guarantee that the matriorb is not going to be a guess here, hah!

KANAYA: Is It The Thing Behind Your Back  ROXY: yup but u gotta be more specific  KANAYA: Is It A Little Piece Of Paper That Says Hey On It  ROXY: hahahahaha no but that would be SO FUNNY! 

I won’t lie, I wouldn’t have been surprised if it hadn’t been that. Wish you had thought about it before. Maybe there’s still time to write “I.O.U one (1) matriorb” on any random rock and give it to her...or maybe that’d be cruel. Shrug.

Not wasting any more time, Roxy presents the matriorb, much to Kanaya’s astonishment. She’s so surprised she can barely express her surprise while Roxy tries to explain in vague terms. Look at that, Kanaya has tears in her eyes! It must be hard to describe, the feeling of hope in seeing the way the troll race is going to be resurrected. Keep it away from the Condesce and everything should be fine.

Nobody would have thought that the way to revive the trolls would just be given to her like this, but she can’t complain. There’s a lot of work to do, the mother larva isn’t going to raise itself. There’s a life of duty and work ahead of her.

Where’s Karkaroni, asks Roxy? “Meditating”. With his face deep into the dirt. You’re so lucky you’re telling this to someone Roxy doesn’t know very well, nobody else would believe such answer.

Roxy gets into her role of Rose’s mother and tries to know Kanaya better, asking about the meteor tri, where everybody formed small groups and only convened like twice of three times. It wasn’t the social jamboree Roxy imagined. Could have been worse, Roxy. It was worse once. At least now everyone is more or less getting along and Kanaya is aware she needs Karkaroni’s help so trolls aren’t like in Alternia.

...having doubts about fighting? Well I can understand Kanaya would want to protect the matriorb and that she believes her skills are not as good as everyone else’s, but if the Condesce isn’t defeated that matriorb will only be good as a paperweight. Roxy points all that and tries to give Kanaya encouragement about her skills. Well not many things can beat a chainsaw in power. That’s all enough to convince Kanaya to go with her and prepare for the fight.

Now that all the dialogue options are over, the point of view returns to the dream bubble where Vriska has gone to harass herself. Yeah, don’t ask me why she’s bothering to do this.

Okay, I read one page and I’m already feeling a bit sick. I don’t know how Hussie is doing this, managing to make me dislike Vriska after I spent most of her appearances liking her. In just a few hundred pages he’s managing to make me not want to read her anymore. It’s going to be difficult to write something that isn’t constant grumbling. Well, there’s one thing...

VRISKA: Remem8er when you used to care a8out that sort of thing?  VRISKA: No, o8viously not.  VRISKA: All you care a8out now is 8ullshit hipstery fashion trends, feeling "happy", and... whatever the fuck it is you're doing here?  VRISKA: Frolicking with some horses in an ugly field or some shit. VRISKA: Just a8solutely disgraceful.  VRISKA: How could I have 8ecome so selfish??  VRISKA: You do know this is selfish, right?  VRISKA: This isn't having some fucking "epiphany" or like "growing as a person" or whatever self-serving spin you might 8e putting on what's happening here.  VRISKA: It's just plain narcissism, the worst kind you're capa8le of. A total renunci8tion of any responsi8ility for contri8uting to the gr8ter good.  VRISKA: And it makes me FUCKING SICK. 

...I have no words. Yeah, looking for personal happiness is selfish, but there’s nothing wrong with being reasonably selfish. I just...I can’t say anything about this that isn’t some sort of circular argument that in the end isn’t worth typing here. I just can’t say anything.

VRISKA: Contrary to your lazy fakey "happy" shit, I've ACTUALLY GROWN AS A PERSON.  VRISKA: What do you think of THAT, you frivolous, dithering 8ITCH???????? 

Like hell you did!

Just...agh.

Looks like the dead Vriska wasn’t wrong, the horses really is a bad omen for her. Meenah is leaving her and going with the Vriska that is alive. At least Meenah has the decency to be conflicted about what she’s feeling and all, but damn, what a way to punch someone that’s already down, Hussie.

Meenah likes dead Vriska a lot, and she admits it, but she’s bored of having an idyllic life with dead Vriska. She wants to fight Lord English and here’s the chance to do it. Dead Vriska may have changed, but Meenah is the same than before, and that one isn’t content with sitting on the sidelines. That’s why she’s leaving – more or less.

I feel bad for dead Vriska. It’s almost hard to believe that the end for the character I knew for so long is this – or at least this seems like the end. It feels...weird. I feel really bad for her. I wish this hadn’t gone for this. Heck, Meenah deciding to go fight Lord English would have been understandable. I just wish this whole thing hadn’t needed to happen.

Hm. I think I should be stopping here for now.

Next update: next time