#i guess it also makes sense that i may be getting intrusive thoughts since this time of year can generally be triggering for me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

st4rryyynight · 10 months ago

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Momohiki Ash x Yandere!Rise!Raphael!Hamato Headcanons !!

★..guess where this is pulled from— (wat-padd)

|✷| REQUESTED & ORIGINAL CHARACTER BY: @ash1kun !!

|✷| ROMANTIC OR PLATONIC: romantic.. it may come off as platonic as well, I dunno, but keep in your minds that is meant to be romantic (0‹ 0).

|✷| TROPES: yandere x oc.

|✷| TRIGGER WARNING: yandere themes, overprotective themes, forced relationship, jealousy, kidnapping, forced isolation, self isolation, mention of intrusive thoughts, self doubt, property destruction.

|✷| CONTENT WARNING: oc x canon, most likely out of character, brain isn't braining, some headcanons, as well as words, may be repetitive. bare with me. plea-.

★this is not proof read, I repeat this is not proofre—★

— |☆| M'alright so, somewhat like my Donatello headcanon, due to Ash being a softshell turtle, therefore just like Donnie, being more vulnerable to the outside dangers, let's just say that Raph tends to keep a close and careful eye on them, to say the least. To ensure that he is there to protect them in case they get injured or if something or someone that could potentially be a threat to them is present. Needless to say that he is also quite reluctant to let them get out of the lair. Think of it as his protective instincts with Mikey, but they may or may not be a little extreme.

— |☆| Now, I fully believe that Ash will get gifted their very own battle-shell from Donnie, or heck even creating one of their own to make things safer for themselves, something that would relieve and put Raph at ease, sure. Though, I believe that he wouldn't be able to shoo away the fact that he finds them seeking out safety to anything or anyone else some sort of an offense to his wants and capabilities to keep them safe. It makes him feel as if he is unneeded- as if he is an unnecessary asset to Ash's life, since they do have other means of protection other than, well, him.

— |☆| ..Well, of course they have other means of safety. They are basically a tech wiz who can create some pretty defensive and offensive inventions that they could use to their advantage, which is something that he finds himself to be quite mesmerised, though confused by. Maybe even a bit intimidated by them as well.

— |☆| Though he still could avoid them getting harmed in his own way. Maybe restricting them from going out on solo-missions, cooking up reasons as to why they are going to be more than okay if they let him keep a close eye on them. He might as well keep them tucked snuggly in his arms whenever a threat is nearby, as well as when he senses danger or something. He may though, just get lost in having them in his embrace, and maybe even hold them even if they are nowhere near a threat anymore.

— |☆| However, the coddling could stop if it gets too much for Ash and it would lead to Raph forcing himself to give up on overwhelming them by ensuring their safety. Y'know, he is doing it to give them some space to breathe, as well because he doesn't want to come off and feel as if he is being obnoxious or suffocating.

— |☆| But don't expect him to back down completely, he still ensures that they are alright by hovering around their space, offering to help them with tasks or even their work and such, despite him having no experience with machines and inventing stuff whatsoever. Well, some things may have stuck in his brain from when Donnie rambled about his inventions and ideas, to which he tried to listen and learn from. Now, sticking with that information, he may also see this as an opportunity to hang around with Ash more often, as he- much like my Leonardo head canon, will voluntarily sit and learn about Ash's interests and concepts. That way, he both gets to know them better, while being at ease that he is assisting them in a way that is not viewed as suffocating. Not suffocating, at the moment, at least. However, he has to be there for them in some sort of way.

— |☆| Although for now, for the sake of keeping Ash comfortable, as well as keeping a positive relationship with them, he just complies, or at least tries to shove off the urge to look over them 27/4. So he keeps his cool, not wanting to feel or be seen as a burden to them. However, don't be fooled by his calm and patient demeanor, he might get jealous rather quickly if any of his brothers offer them assistance with, well, anything. It might as well lower his self esteem just enough for him to doubt if he can actually keep others, more importantly, Ash— safe as he thought he could. Who knows, he may even get embarrassed or a bit self conscious if they express that they find his protective instincts towards them odd or unnecessary. It is also confusing to him that they don't understand why he wants to be the one to keep them away from harm.

— |☆| Sure, for a while he leaves them be, as to not weird out Ash more than he already has. He shoves off whatever envy he has over others grabbing their attention and such for their very own sake. It would be a true shame if he drove them away now and the thought of them leaving because he got too pushy or jealous is gnawing at his brain.

— |☆| And honestly, I see it like a circle if anything: Raph protects Ash, they find it odd, he lets them be, he gets insecure and tries to get back into their life to get rid of his insecurities and for his presence to have some meaning in Ash's life. And it starts all over again. It's a circle that Raph feels like he is obligated to break but he can't find the right time or way to do so. In an ethical way that is, one that he is not quite ready to put into action yet.

— |☆| So, he just lets his envy shimmer inside. He sits by the sidelines as he watches his brothers offer Ash their assistance and he silently watches them as they work on being more independent. Something that is slowly driving Raph mad, with his insecurities and doubts for himself growing and growing each and everyday he distances himself from them.

— |☆| It is also evident to him that it's unfair how they don't understand and are refusing to accept his services. As if his younger brothers can do a better job at ensuring their well being. That could be his tipping point. The straw that broke the camels back could be Ash's constant avoidance of letting him take care of them. Them frequently questioning his motives behind his want to protect them despite him claiming time and time again that he is only doing it for their own good would just push him to the edge.

— |☆| So, with his patience growing thin, he decides to take them in his room, where he can always make sure that they won't engage in activities that could harm them. It's also a way to put an end on his brothers grabbing a hold of their focus.

(..the following headcanons may not line up with one another.)

— |☆| I also think that Raph would empathize with the fact that Ash has a voice looping in their head that is influencing them to do vile and violent things whenever they are left alone for too long. It's like a reflection of 'Savage Raph' in his eyes.

— |☆| Letting their intrusive thoughts win is not something that Raph will allow to happen, which to him— is another opportunity to keep them company to prevent them from either hurting themselves or those around them.

— |☆| And with that in mind, after he locks them in his room he always makes sure to be near them most of the time, even if it means skipping training or avoiding missions. Practically isolating both himself, and Ash away from the world, all while discarding their discomfort and distraught with him forcing himself onto them, glossing over their demands to be set free. He doesn't see why they are defiant and grossed out, he only wants them to be okay !! ..Shouldn't they be grateful that they have someone who wants their very own well being ??

— |☆| ..oh, and if they try leaving their walls of safety, otherwise Raph's room, there will be consequences. No no, don't get the wrong idea, he won't harm them physically. He is not the one to take out his anger on his darling. . . However, the same cannot be said for the work that put their life into. In shorts, he smashes and bashes all of their inventions in blind rage, all except one. Their pet robot—dragon Plutonium, as he is mindful of how much it means to Ash— and it would be difficult for them to ever forgive him if he did destroy it. Though it's not likely that he is going to earn their forgiveness any time soon. Plus, I think that he would be intimidated by how deadly it can become in just a few seconds of sensing danger. Yeah, getting mutilated or blown up by his darling's horrifyingly advanced AI is the last thing that he would want.

— |☆| I also expect him that once he comes back to his senses and looks around the mess he has made, as well as the expressionless yet— I suppose dreadful look on Ash's face, his personality does a complete 180° and goes from furious to apologetic in an instant, murmuring apologies and pleas that they forgive him, promising that he won't do anything like this again if they just stay with him. He pull them onto his lap and hug them tightly as he continues to apologize for his actions, hopeful that they understand that he did what he had to do to prevent them from running off and potentially getting into themselves into trouble. What he is not realising, is that it's a little too late to be asking for their forgiveness and closure. Seeing their inventions and getting snatched away from their freedom by Raph would take a toll on how Ash views him, wouldn't it ???

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homicidal-awareness · 1 day ago

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I'm not completely sure why i have violent intrusive thoughts and fantasies since i had the luck to grow up in a relatively safe enviroment. But i noticed that at least with the violent fantasies (and a few sexual fantasies too) i tend to imagine myself hurting others as a way to protect myself or get revenge against others, to not seem weak. Probably because i grew up with very overbearing and controling parents and because due to growing up neurodivergent, ridiculed constantly and never feeling capable of standing up for myself probably that need to take control and not be an easy target is a fantasy to me, specially as a neurodivergent and disabled woman. I do wonder tho, how usual is that people that have violent thoughts/fantasies/compulsions have them to feel more in control or less vulnerable? Also, can these thoughts be influenced in some way if the person haves autism? (Not to imply that horrible stereotype of autistic people being violent, just wondering if it can influence those thoughts)

It sounds to me like the environment you grew up in may have been physically safe and provided basic material necessities, but failed to provide the proper emotional necessities. Mine was similar in some ways. My parents, while always there to provide food, shelter, and all my other material needs, were always oscillating between overbearing helicopter parents who demanded I do all the correct things, and neglectful (if not absent) and uncaring towards me and my problems. And I have plenty of issues to show for it.

* Saying all this because you expressed confusion over why you have your thoughts/fantasies, and to me your past makes complete sense as a source. You don't need to be physically abused or severely physically neglected to have trauma and be really fucked up from it. I think there are a lot of people who experience HI and who were rarely (if ever) physically abused.

Your experience with violent ideation makes sense to me. If you were never able to have your needs met via getting people off your back, then it makes sense your brain would end up jumping to extremes to solve it quickly and effectively and bring your sense of control and safety back, if only in fantasy.

I couldn't tell you how usual that sort of 'source' of homicidality is. But I can tell you my therapist has asked me if my own homicidality is based in a similar need for control. I think mine is rooted in a lot of things, need for control being only one of them. It would honestly make sense to me for that facet to be present in most (maybe even all) cases of homicidal ideation. But again, I can't speak for everyone.

As for autism being an influence, I have wondered that a lot myself. I was medically recognized as autistic (and ADHD) when I was about 13-ish. That's been the label I've lived with since then, and while my therapist has recently suggested I may also have ASPD, she's stated she sees and has seen the autism diagnosis more strongly than the antisocial. I have looked for other autistic folks who experience HI. I have dug. And I've turned up with nothing. It made me feel for a while like I was kinda going insane, or that I'm just uniquely fucked up compared to everyone else. Hell, I've even been told by multiple therapists and counselors that I am a very unique case and am very different from anyone they've worked with before. Which has always felt a mix of validating and frustrating. I do know I found a level of relatability in antisocials that I've never experienced before, and some of it was the homicidal ideation (though a lot of the rest was distinctly antisocial symptoms and such).

I guess in short, I don't know.

If homicidal ideation is a thing experienced by autistic folks, then they sure as hell don't talk about it. In my subjective opinion, I think autism can be a factor in it. I think trauma can be an even stronger factor (and in PTSD type spaces, people will actually occasionally talk about violent/homicidal ideation), and it sounds like you have plenty of trauma to fit into that category.

I couldn't tell you if autism by itself could influence homicidal ideation, or if the autism has to have some sort of comorbity with something else that causes it.

Apologies if that's unsatisfying. I know I felt that for a long time myself. Just know you are not wrong or uniquely fucked up for experiencing homicidal ideation, even if it's not talked about by people who share your diagnosis.

#thank you for sharing your experience!#and apologies again for the potentially unsatisfying answer. you asked a lot of things that i have wrestled with myself and have not come-#-to a suitable conclusion with. wishing you well regardless #and. obligatory disclaimer that i am not a mental health professional and i am speaking mainly from my own experience #i maybe went a little too far into psychoanalysis. and if i did i apologize #but!!!!! anyway!!!!!!!!#homicidal ideation #homicidal thoughts #actually homicidal #actually autistic #asks

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jacksoncoughs · 27 days ago

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my general idea for my AU under the cut ..... TW for mentions of incest, grooming, abuse

I did change Jack's design slightly with the original intent of trying to come up with a different set of parents that weren't related but I was thinking about an AU where he runs away from the family as a result of all those things happening ..... I would like to imagine Ally DOES NOT warm up to the idea of incest and cuts most of her family off unless they want to reach out to try getting out of the situation , and lives with Howie (maybe a few others as well because I do like the anticare yuri .....) so none of the Ally kids would exist in this AU especially since otherwise that means they somehow did it without kit's consent and I do NOT like that implication .....

so Jack runs away when he realizes that he is not in a healthy situation and has been groomed , including the supposed crush on one of his siblings and wants to get out of there out of disgust and fear of hurting her when he realizes how bad it is ..... Ally and Howie take him in since he really has nowhere else to go and they don't have many options since it was such a sudden thing

he is in a much safer environment but is still processing everything so he still tends to lash out and obviously not be a "perfect victim" , he picks fights and argues with his current guardians a lot but he can still get along well with them . but he has yet to fully open up about what happened , Ally obviously has an idea of what happened but doesn't have any of the details but she's glad even though she was cut off from the family that Jack had enough trust to run to her .....

I think Ally would learn about some of it through one of her family members reaching out after a very long time of almost no contact and feeling a little too hopeful that day she decides to try , maybe before she sees the rest of the family she meets a few kids outside and doesn't entirely see connections but then she puts two and two together at some point , probably immediately upon seeing the rest of the family or their actions and starts a shouting match/fight and leaves . she's furious and disgusted but feels a little bad for doing all of that in front of the kids (I don't think she would say anything cruel directly about any children but she would have said something about the idea in general)

Another thing , which kind of doesn't make much sense (like the rest of this even did ?) is that I wanted to include Bit too , because I accidentally got attached to bit too due to very personal reasons ..... bit's description says bit doesn't care/mind and I would include that somewhat too but I imagined part of it was also mildly abusive and either bit just feels weird being treated any better due to a prolonged toxic environment and prefers it as bit gets used to it , or bit in the original household was treated even lower than bit really liked . the relationship of Tan and Bit is something I may have projected onto a little too much , where I imagine Bit realizing Tan's intentions or that Tan is actually too dehumanizing (for lack of a better word) so bit lashes out , maybe even attacking Tan out of distress if Tan potentially tried/pushed something onto bit .

Bit also runs away and feels better treated by Ally and Howie and gets along best with Howie . there are a few complications with Jack due to his fear of his intrusive thoughts though they were mostly aimed at Brea and I like to think he would have gotten some therapy at this point ..... They don't get along the best but I think they grow to be okay with each other , more comfortable than they would be in their old household which I imagine the situation would have Jack lashing out even then without really understanding why

I know it's an odd duo choice , but personal projection onto both has made me a little attached ..... I guess it could or should be assumed other secret canon kids eventually break out of the cycle too and get help but at the moment I just have those two in mind .....

#jack's writing tag #jack's au tag #sperklacera #anticare #sparklecera #sperklecera #i would like to tag them but with reclaimed tags like taking howie or ally's last names but then the allotpuns are gone .....#oh well ..... i realize jack's is *not good* so maybe that would be for the best

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poulpemou · 1 year ago

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Happy Valentine's Day! It's the perfect day to proselytise aroace Kiran from Fire Emblem Heroes!

As the "protagonist" of a gacha game, AKA a soft harem game, it only makes sense for the self-insert character to be aroace! Got folks of all genders throwing themselves at you for no understandable reason? Got people taking your lack of interest as a personal challenge? Why, that sounds like the perfect setting for a character to realise and/or profess their aroace-ness!

Here are some satisfied testimonies from our existing representatives!

"Wow I had no idea Fjorm felt this way? Why? Since when? I thought she and Laegjarn were dating?"

"Uhhhhh Gunnthrá said what?????????"

"Do people know I have a job and responsibilities? I have a lot going on, I don't have time for this kind of stuff, do people realize we're at war like 24/7 and I'm literally the only person keeping this place from falling apart and—"

"How come it's always the girls confessing their love to me but not the guys? I mean I'm not into dudes but that doesn't mean I can't be. Actually, who says I'm not? Oriented aroaces exist and—"

"Hey Alfonse. Bro. Are we or aren't we partners. Are we or aren't we the perfect unit if we could be combined into one. Have you ever heard of Steven Universe by the way? Or of this thing called QPR?"

"How come Plumeria is always shit-talking me about lewdness when I literally didn't do anything? Like ok yeah I poked her, but I literally poke everyone? Also what's up with my dreams? Has she heard of this thing called intrusive sexuality that literally doesn't mean anything—"

"Hey, so, I don't know how to say this, Seiðr, but I don't want a baby and I also don't want to be a deadbeat parent, and also Gullveig and Kvasir keep saying things about feelings but I have no idea where that's coming from. Don't even get me started on Heiðr."

"Why are girls weird around me? Am I actually just a cat and never noticed? Is that why they keep petting me and cooing at me? I was just a cat this whole time and no one had the heart to tell me I'm not human?"

"You love me? Aw, thanks, I love you too! I love all of my friends!"

"What is love? Baby don't hurt me. Oh wait this song doesn't exist in Askr..."

"What do you mean they think I'm flirting!!!!!!!! What the heck is a flirting!!!!!! I'm literally just being a good friend what!!!!!!!!"

"I love Day of Devotion! It's a day where you're devoted to your loved ones! Yeah of course all my friends are my loved ones, what do you mean?"

"So when two people like each other very much, they perform this ceremony called ally-supporting, and for some reason people blush when they reach A-tier. I think it's because it's a very important milestone that happens to take place in what looks like a church, and they're afraid to look like they don't belong in a church. Something about Askran churches must seem very intimidating."

"Oh wow you have feelings for me for real? I thought people were just saying that for the bit."

"Oh wow you have feelings for me for real? Can you describe what what's like? I've never understood it and people take it really badly when I ask."

"So back in my world, we have this event called Asexuality Awareness Week taking place during the Harvest Festival, and this other event called Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week that takes place a week after the Day of Devotion."

"Hey does garlic bread exist here? Anyone got any cake?"

"I don't know any of these people. They keep wanting to talk to me and be friends. Well ok. I don't get it but I guess it's my job to ensure troupe morale. I thought that would be Sharena's job but I haven't seen her in forever. Sacrifices for the cause, I guess."

"What do you mean they think I'm flirting!!!!!!!! What the heck is a flirting!!!!!! I'm literally just being polite what!!!!!!!!"

Join today and headcanon your summoner as aroace! Add a layer of complexity to a silent character and off-the-rails writing! You may be entitled to emotional compensation!

#tofurambles #feh #fe kiran #acespec #arospec #so kiran canonically forms a strong bond and attachment to alfonse specifically so idk they qualify as aplatonic/loveless #(i am neither aplatonic nor loveless so i don't want to step on any toes)#buuuuut it would be hilarious if they ARE apl/loveless and alfonse is just like #their most competent and/or tolerable coworker #and that that is why they're so stuck on him #''i can't win this war without you. you are the only person here who actually does his job.''

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testiculartorsionlover · 5 months ago

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Journal #2 : sharing feelings + therapy

hello, i'm writing this as a means of grounding myself, i feel really disconnected from myself and fear that i may switch out, and i am seriously trying my best to not dissociate. will writing this actually help, i don't really know because it might delve into dissociation a fair bit but it'll also talk about other things.

i haven't taken my meds in a while because apparently i need to call my insurance to mail order them for me but they havent even been calling back, or something like that. i usually take abilify but i question if i need a higher dose sometimes, because i feel like it doesn't do much (after writing this i realised they do a lot lmfao). but lately, despite being unmedicated, i'm not going through any major episodes so far.... other than some rapid mood shifts. i'm also more impulsive and have been partaking in a lot of drug use, but i'm careful about it atleast. im more irritated than usual. ive been lashing out on my fp and been extra paranoid. i've been on and off suicidal apparently but no memory of that as i am writing this.

my intrusive thoughts have kinda been making a come back.

i seriously need my meds back. they seriously stabilise me.

i went to therapy this tuesday. she read my dissociative journal in full (my physical journal that she gave me) it was kinda embarassing having her read it. i rarely am open about my parts in therapy, up until now atleast. it also went into depth about the symptoms of my other disorders, how parts of me felt, my memory loss, my obsessions, etc. she evaluated me briefly, i think for depression. i scored moderately, but i was frankly too dissociated at the time to answer questions properly. it was a different depression screening than the other one ive taken, i honestly thought this test was a lot better, it was a lot more extensive.

i've apparently declined a bit, but i don't feel it. is it my dissociation hiding it away from me? i don't know really.

i haven't recalled any fugue episodes since my last journal entry or maybe my amnesia is covering that up (can that happen? idek). that's a good sign atleast, im hoping it's the former. my fugue states feel really scary although i dont get them commonly at all, if i had to estimate id probably get them once a month. but i mostly have "partial amnesia" or i guess more mild fugues if you could call it that. ngl my fugues have improved a lot ever since i was first treated for dissociation and trauma. at first it used to be like maybe once a week (very rough estimate but it might as well be just as common as that) to now its lessened. that happened after i processed some traumas, it improved my dissociation quite a bit as well. my dissociation was always really really bad.

i've been experiencing some denial about my disorders. i worry that i'm just crazy. that i'm gaslighting myself into believing i have problems because my life was more "privileged" as i have been recieving help from an early age. it doesnt help that i was misdiagnosed with a lot of disorders as well. i still question if my bpd was a misdiagnosis though i meet most of the criteria. i got diagnosed so young. meds have been the only thing to help my bpd symptoms, same with some dbt skills.

my amnesia is more or less the same outside of the fact that i havent had any major fugues.

i am constantly depersonalized and derealised. but with certain alters its a bit better.

i might make a journal post about my alters, just to make sense of them. even though i said i would never really be super descriptive of my parts, maybe i will be very rarely (ofc id never do like alter intros or give off personal info about them but maybe ill share my experiences with them very rarely)

anyways i feel crazy writing this, i don't even know if im describing my experiences properly

#did #did system #actually mentally ill #mental health #endos dni #sysblur #did osdd #osdd #system stuff #actually did #trauma #complex ptsd #ptsd #actually ptsd #ptsd recovery #childhood trauma #living with cptsd #actually cptsd #c ptsd

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luesmainblog · 1 year ago

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(to be extremely clear: you ARE right. it is generally Safer to just dm someone. though, as far as people being annoying on a post, the general wisdom is to just block and ignore, which may be why they're surprised at being confronted.) honestly i feel like this just emphasizes that at the end of the day tumblr's build is a blogging website, not a Social Media website. as much as it tries to be one and is currently used as one, at the end of the day, the average tumblr user - especially the ones who've been here for ages - are not especially social. those who Are tend to use the ask system rather than DMs, as it's what they grew up with and feels less.... i guess the word is Intrusive?

as I've come to understand, the standard is this: Reblog - directly related to the post and either a very long comment or something you feel strongly enough about that you want it to be public on your blog. @ Tag - your own specific post that you want that person to see. Reply - directly related to the post, short comment left on a post you're not gonna reblog. public, but deletable. Tags - essentially the polite way to comment. keeping these thoughts to just your blog; the next reblog won't carry them. "just my personal thoughts" kinda communication. Ask - the ORIGINAL dm on here. might not be related to a specific post, either Friendly Interaction or the nastiest shit you've ever said to a fellow human being. either way, there's often a hope that it will be Posted. this is largely still considered the Proper way to talk to eachother on tumblr, since you control how much it eats up either of your blogs. DM - directly personal and not to be posted; the equivalent of sending a text. this is for personal convos, discussions that don't need to be out in the open(maybe you and your friend are bitching about some fandom opinions and neither of you feel like getting doxxed today), sharing screennames for other websites, etc. unlike an ask, which can just be deleted, coming in HERE with your discourse is demanding attention in away that just feels way more confrontational.

DMs are a basic social media thing, yes, but they're also one of the most recent additions to tumblr's various ways to communicate, and because the other ways are a lot less direct, it does feel more personal. so yeah, when somebody gets SO upset that they feel the need to open their DM button, type in my username, and EXPEDIATE their message to me to KMS, that does feel a lot more "wow, it bothered you that much?" than just. reblogging, or replying, which is the minimal effort response. it's about the same as getting an ask, but even more confrontational because it pops up Right on your page without even having to leave your dashboard. and you're right! dming is infact the SAFER option! but... that in and of itself kinda says something. it's like, wow, you NEED to say that To My Face right now, but you ALSO have to say it in the /one/ area of tumblr where i'd have to put extra effort in(screenshot and post) for anyone else to see it? you're THAT allergic to your ideas facing scrutiny? as far as discoursey people go it's a cowardly move, almost moreso than an anon ask. because in the context of a dm, any attempt to MAKE it public facing makes you the bad guy, even if they said something genuinely horrible. now You're 'harassing them' and 'airing dirty laundry' and 'why didn't you just keep this private?'. it feels like a bit of a social trap, if that makes sense? you can either just take it, or be The Bad Guy because you posted a private conversation.

TL;DR - yeah, consequence wise a public interaction should be the more serious one, but this is tumblr. we have a decade or so of Established communication methods, and publicly-visible interactions are well-established as the less serious one. this is also the anxiety/depression/autism/adhd website, which contributes to that feeling. it's not like facebook where Most of your interactions with other users are through dms.

(also, i'm not saying how YOU use dms is comparable to how harassers use it! just pointing out that most people Think of that if they're talking about getting a random unexpected dm. we all been there, you're just scrolling around and then some rando you've never met shoots you a dm telling you how TERRIBLE you are for not liking SA2 that much.)

Anyone I DM to confront about their weirdness always says something like "wow it bothered you ENOUGH to dm" why did you goofy kids decide DMing was a special rare thing.

Is this not what all of you see all of the time, do you not have like 50 new dm convos a week. A public remark (including tags) is supposed to be the "wow you're really serious" choice. DMs or "PMs" as we called them on the normal Internet are the very most casual tier of internet communication.

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sweetlikehoneystingslikeabee · 2 years ago

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Could I request riddlers with a s/o who has vitiligo?

"S/O with vitiligo" Riddler party ask

Of course! Just be aware as I do not have vitiligo or know anyone personally with vitiligo my understanding is based upon research and not experience. That being said, if I make mistakes please let me know so I can correct them. A little shorter on these!

tw: none

Gotham

Have you ever wanted an info-dump about vitiligo? Because you're going to get an info-dump about vitiligo. What potentially causes it, the different treatments, the historical origin of the word Vitiligo- Did you know vitiligo used to be associated with leprosy? Which is simply ridiculous since they're nothing alike-

It may come off annoying or even incredibly tone-deaf but it's because he finds you as a person so fascinating. He wants to show his interest in you and that he cares! Redirect him if it gets to be too much and he'll apologize and move on.

60s

He knows what vitiligo is. But more in the sense of textbooks and medical journals. He's never met someone quite like you and, embarrassingly, he at first thought it was a new fad of theater makeup. He'd wondered how you made the forms so fluid and unique along your skin...

Now that he's aware though, expect a constant stream of creative compliments relating to the "artistry" of your markings. How they curve and accentuate your being. There's something almost scandalous about touching you- to him, you have the beauty of a painting in a museum.

Btas

Well, sweetheart, aren't you a beauty? Have you the wits to match? He makes a point of being clear that appearances are low on the rankings of things that matter. However, it's certainly a nice bonus that he can look at you for hours on end <3

There will come a time you both forget sunscreen and both of you burn. You because of the lack of pigment making your skin vulnerable. Him because he is a white man with red hair. At least you can rub aloe on the others sunburns and take care of each other the day after!

Arkham

Honestly at some point he's seen a bit of everything so vitiligo, while rare, he doesn't even give a second glance. Were you expecting some kind of reaction? Sorry to disappoint you.

While it goes without saying all of them would defend you if some asshole decided to make a comment, Arkham is ESPECIALLY ready to go off when needed: "Do you know how rare vitiligo is? Not only do they possess leagues more intelligence than you, in addition to their attractiveness- they're also more interesting and unique than you could ever hope to be."

And if anyone asks any intrusive questions? He's going to tear them a new one.

Telltale

Honestly he's incredibly neutral about it. He doesn't say much about you having the condition unless you bring it up. It might seem standoffish but for him that's how he shows respect for you, by not making a deal out of it.

Expect him to be testy about you taking any potential autoimmune medication and sunscreen, though. And downright hostile if anyone thinks to make any comments or "cute" nicknames you didn't ask for.

Zero year

Oh, his cute little rabbit- Hm? The pet name? After the harlequin rabbit, of course. A rare breed prized for their unique dual-colored fur patterns. It's fitting for his Aphrodite/Adonis. His extraordinary love who should always recognize their beauty.

Guess who ALSO has skin really sensitive to sunburns? Like BTAS, his red hair and fair toned skin means he BURNS in the sun. So you'll never forget sunscreen... because he'll be applying his right before offering to do yours.

2022/Nashton

If you're self conscious about it at all, he's going to kiss every single mark. Drag his fingertips along the edges where the soft white patches begin. You're going to feel loved if he has anything to say about it. He knows what it's like to feel that self-loathing that sits in the pit of your stomach.

He's going to actually literally murder anyone that makes you uncomfortable or hurts your feelings. Or at minimum sick his online following on them and ruin their day if not week, month or year. Put you down?! How DARE they? They aren't even worthy of looking at you!

#riddler #gotham riddler #2022 riddler #zero year riddler #telltale riddler #arkham riddler #btas riddler #60s riddler #riddler x reader #foxwriting

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charmedreincarnation · 2 years ago

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hi i think i realise the thing i’m most afraid of when it comes to tapping in the void. I realise that anything and everything is possible. I have seen crazy “illogical” success stories and some of them have nothing to do with the void. Like i have come across at least 3 sex change stories (without void) and i remember just how happy they all sounded in their success stories.

I don’t have anything “crazy” on my void list per say, like all my desires seem very natural to me.

I know bloggers are tired of answering “can i manifest” questions like when i see them answer it, i in unison answer with them as i read them on my tl “YES ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE” But….

This is my fear-

I have never worked a day in my life and there’s a certain kind of job i want to be working, basically revising “i have been working at this place since over a year and i’m also moving for this job” so of course with this also goes “i have all the necessary resources, knowledge, contacts, basically anything i need” to be efficient at my job. “i even have the coolest boss and colleagues, if it’s possible for some people to love their job and their boss and their colleagues, I CAN HAVE IT TOO” this is my inner monologue lol when i have intrusive thoughts. Lol i think i should make it clear that my job doesn’t need a degree. I’m not trying to be a doc or a nurse😭😂

I guess what i’m asking for, from you is, reassurance like YES GIRL YOU WILL WAKE UP WITH YOUR DREAM JOB, IT IS NOT SCARY, YOU WON’T SUCK AT IT

I’m the same anon that told you i feel peace knowing i already have everything i desire. You told me it’s upto me how fast my delivery is going to be. “If it’s express shipping” (Of course i’d like to think that it’s express shipping but this one fear i mentioned isn’t truly allowing for me to have my shipment yet.)

I have even started my t- deadline for when i’m going to be flying out. I see myself doing daily chores at my new apartment, driving to my office with my fav playlist.

It’s crazy how i feel like i have made it and when i was having just even a tiny amount of fear, i see my tl is flooded with you and other bloggers reassuring that shifting is very much real. (just what i needed)

Thank you so much charm, and to each and every blogger who goes out of the way to help STRANGERS live their dream lives. I’m so grateful i found loa and you all. (I already am practising giving my thanks to all of you sweet souls as i send in my success story *wink wink* haha)

Hello I think this is the ask! It's great to hear that you've been exploring the possibilities of tapping into the void and manifesting your dreams. It's completely understandable to have some fears and doubts, but remember that anything is possible and you have the power to create the reality you desire.

You already have a clear idea of the job you want and the type of work environment you envision. Keep focusing on those positive aspects and affirming to yourself that you have everything you need to be successful in this job. Visualize yourself already in the job, feeling confident and enjoying your work. This will help to shift your energy towards that reality.Just let go of any fears or doubts that may be holding you back. Trust that the universe will bring you the opportunities and resources you need to manifest your desires, but it already seems you’re doing that haha.

And yes girl it’s real all of it. no matter how minuscule or large. All though i have had some big awesome manifestion, my favorite one is always getting all As with minimal effort even though it doesn’t make sense that I do. Most college students take 3-5 hours a day to studying and homework and I just watch Netflix all day and sleep hehe, and browse tumblr occasionally when I’m not hanging out with my friends. I also manifested a six figure job at 18 when I didn’t even know my major yet, or had any qualifications. I chose not to work there bc I’m liking life on easy mode and you should too and you’re already doing the work to achieve that. Idk what you needed from this ask but you’re already slaying and know what you want and you’re going to get it.

#void state #manifesting #law of attraction

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chemicalpink · 3 years ago

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is it possible to request a reading for jungkook’s solo? what topics will touch or in what period it will be released? thank u in advance <3

sure can do!

Disclaimer: This reading is based on my experience and knowledge of tarot, it is not meant to be the absolute truth, as BTS are real people, and tarot can only capture so much about multidimensional humans that have had past experiences and cultural approaches amongst other things, it does not have to resonate with you since this is in no way related to anyone reading it (unless you are a member of BTS in which case, get out of here lol ) This is just for entertainment purposes. Remember that tarot as a form of divination only allows us to read current energy and as time advances it becomes less accurate, so it basically reads up to a 6 months period of time

Masterlist. | tarot masterlist. | astrology masterlist.

A/N: Let’s kick this ‘Marinette coming back after the storm’ with a gentle reading and keep on working on the lengthy one. I surprised myself with a Justin Bieber song coming up when I haven’t listened to him in years so-

First off, I found it so funny that the first ‘vibe’ that came up was the self-made card that has the imagery of the movie Kimi no Na wa– which is, coincidentally, one of the firsts queues I kept on receiving when I started reading for Jungkook.

Alright, right off the bat, we have a lot of purple in the cards, this is absolutely a project that is made while thinking deeply about ARMY, may I allow myself to even throw in the idea that perhaps music in JJK1 is made as a way to tune into his spirituality and the innermost part of himself/ made via some spiritual connection in between, it feels almost revelatory in some ways. It tells a story that needs to be heard past the usual ‘oh he’s pouring his heart out, how cute’ It’s a very passionate project, the writing and rewriting and perfecting (lol how Virgo) is there in volumes and for the most part is what makes it so hard to get a sense of it as a completed work– because it is changing consistently.

Most of the cards that came up are major arcana, so we are talking big words with this one. JJK is prone to be a really intense work of art. And will most likely not only be a big achievement of Jungkook’s but also, will be a huge event in itself in terms of people receiving it. It feels like a completion of sorts that is reflected in every single song of it. The peak of Jungkook’s hardwork that feels like the ending of an era for him. [9oP] As far as the story it tells come, it comes hand on hand with the whole intensity of it and the need to be heard. The please love me in it is pretty loud around it, it’s a beg for forgiveness. Please love me, even after you’ve heard my whole story. Which isn’t as catastrophic as it sounds, but it feels that way for him. The fear of overcoming his own intrusive thoughts and present a work of his that isn’t to be as expected, the fear of letting ARMY– the people he owes the most, risk it all for a story he’s tired of keeping bottled up, is very much present and real. I feel like this is a recurring theme that is touched as far as JJK1 is doing now, but I would second guess that he would 100% present such a dark theme. [the tower]

This is where the whole reading starts getting a bit tangled up, both The Hierophant and The Moon came up, while also the Pendulum picked up Taurus and Pisces, which the four of them are correspondent of one another. So it goes something along the lines of confirming that the whole work behind JJK1 has felt like a spiritual experience of sorts, while also being prone to fall into his comfort zone of “tried and tested” model with the release, all he more reason to believe that while he has prepared a lot of music that touches the real theme he would like to release, chances are he will probably end up playing it safe. Jungkook has had to do a lot of mastering his raw emotions for this one, this card wasn’t so much an indicator of the work itself but rather a generalised message that all that is left for him to do is to take it as it comes, he has worked hard and it is time to be brave and put his work out there [strength]

The release of JJK1 feels almost like a Wheel of Fortune itself, a lot of things may go wrong, a lot of things may go right, I would even dare to saw the whole event that has come into works for Jungkook while in this individual project (the tracks, the writing, the producing, the release) forms a major part of his spiritual path, as it is, it’s a work that touches his past in ways that he hadn’t left himself explore before and the way he plans on doing it is far from what could be deemed as ‘perfectly control’ which is what his life has been all about so far.[the wheel of fortune rx]

Now onto a much clearer theme as far as the production comes. Two cards immediately came up. Duality and Sexual Energy which I believe are pretty self explanatory, Jungkook has been able to test out his hand at being the multifaceted man he is, even further now. The coexistence of Jungkook and music without the BTS variable thrown into the equation. Also, I believe we have been able to peak a bit into his whole sexier, risqué theme he has had going on, I’m thinking sensual sad tunes. Lost in translation keeps on coming up, think- House of Cards type of vibe, but with more pop-influences. Bruno Mars talking to the moon, Justin Bieber’s Ghost come up to me. So. much. Longing.

Last but not least onto the astrodice + pendulum that I used to confirm some cards and vibes. Taurus, and Pisces vibes that the pendulum picked up were also present in the text above, the month of December came up but you know how shifty energies are and I felt like it wasn’t so much a true date more than it was a sort of “original plan for release” that can be taken as ‘end of the year' vibe so I would say November-January 2023 if and ONLY if no variables are changed into the energy reading right now. Perhaps on a Sunday. Scorpio Venus 11th. Fellas, hold tight cause we are going sexy. A lot of pretty feminine energy surrounds this, the antithesis of virile images, the juxtaposition of soft and sexual co-existing as one giving the vibe a whole ethereal look.

Decks: The Divine Tarot, Mystic Mondays, Shaman Healing, Pendulum, Astrodice.

#bts tarot #kpop tarot #jungkook tarot #jungkook tarot reading #jeon jungkook #jeon jungkook tarot #bts tarot reading

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marauderundercover · 4 years ago

Text

Taking Chances Ch. 11: Blast from the Past (Siblings)

AO3

Swinging side by side with her father was an amazing experience. Marinette tried hard to stifle her laughter, figuring Batman wouldn’t appreciate it if word got around that the newest vigilante was a giggler. He swings to the next roof and pauses, Marinette frowning as he listens to something on his comm.

“Alright. All hands on deck. Robin, you’ll stay on the roof with Ladybird.” He instructs, Marinette frowns. Was he really sticking her younger brother on babysitting duty? And why couldn’t she go wherever it is he’s going?

“What’s happening?” She asks, crossing her arms.

“There are several crates of weapons and a few dozen armed men in a warehouse a mile out from here. You and Robin are going to stay on the roof to make sure no one leaves before the police arrive.” He instructs before turning and grappling away. Marinette frowns, but follows behind him. Does he really not think that she can handle herself? And she knows this is going to cause problems with Damian. He already doesn’t like her and now he has to stay with her. She watches as he swoops down into the warehouse and she lands silently on the roof.

“I do not appreciate this.” Robin says, stepping out of the shadows with crossed arms. Although she can’t see his eyes behind his mask, Marinette knows he’s glaring at her. She just rolls her eyes.

“I don’t either. I don’t need someone watching me 24/7. I can take care of myself.” She says, and with a sudden jolt, she realizes this is the first time he’s willingly speaking to her. The first time they’re talking and it’s to argue. Lovely.

“If you had simply stayed away, then I would have been allowed to follow Father. Instead, I am being punished for your insolence.” He adds. Is he going to lecture her the entire time Batman and the others are fighting in the warehouse, she thinks, raising an eyebrow. She starts to snark back, but a shadow moving behind him pulls her attention instead. Narrowing her eyes, she watches as a figure steps out of the shadow, a gun raised at her.

“Well well well. What do we have here?” The man asks, a smirk on his face. Marinette glances at Robin, trying to see if he recognizes the voice. She doesn’t see any recognition, so she immediately catalogues the man as an unknown threat. Chances were that he was involved with the group currently fighting in the warehouse and not an actual Batman level villain. But he still had a gun, so she wouldn’t underestimate him. Robin turns to face the man and he immediately takes the gun off Marinette, pointing it instead at Robin’s head. Marinette narrows her eyes. She may not know him very well, but he was still her little brother. And she wasn’t about to let some stupid goon threaten him. Flicking her wrist, she aims her yoyo at the man’s gun, smirking as she manages to yank it from his grasp. She catches the gun as it flies back with her yoyo, holding it carefully and trying to ignore the internal panic. She’d never held a gun before, never wanted to or had a reason to. And she really didn’t want to hold it now, but she didn’t want the man to know that she was scared of the gun, because that would give him an advantage. She just grins at the dumbfounded look on the man’s face, his shock enough so that Robin was able to knock him down without a fight. He pulls a zip tie out of his utility belt and ties the man’s hands together.

“Well that was disappointing. I was hoping for more of a fight.” Marinette teases, hoping that the tension between her and Robin would break. She watches as his lips purse slightly, not sure what the expression meant.

“I hardly think one buffoon with a gun would be much of a fight for either of us.” He finally says, and her eyes light up. Success!

“But if it was the right foe, they could surely take you down.” A new voice says, and this time Marinette can practically feel the tension rolling off of Robin.

“Slade.” He says, obviously tensing for a fight.

“Damian. I wasn’t aware you were in possession of a Miraculous.” The man, Slade, says, turning towards her. Marinette stiffens, uncomfortable by both his words and the fact that she can’t see the man’s face because of his costume.

“I’m not in possession of anything.” He says, his jaw clenched. Marinette shifts into a defensive position, desperately wishing that she had a comm. Surely the rest of the family had heard this man’s intrusion through Robin. But she wished she could hear them. Whether it was giving information about the man or reassurance that the rest of them would be there soon, she wanted to hear them.

“Tell me, little girl, how did you stumble upon one of the most powerful pieces of magic in the universe? And why haven’t I met you before?” He asks, stepping towards them. Glaring at the man, Marinette steps forward so that she’s standing in line with Robin, unwilling to cower behind her brother.

“I don’t think we run in the same circles. And I assure you, I didn’t stumble across anything. I was chosen to wield this Miraculous.” She says, shoving false confidence in her tone when all she wanted was to grab Robin and run. Slade oozed a sense of wrongness and danger. Not a combination she wanted anywhere near her or her family.

“Mmm. Perhaps not. But we’ll never know, will we. I’m going to have to ask you for that Miraculous now, dear.” He says, her eyes narrow.

“I’m not sure if that’s worked for you in the past, but it’s not going to work today. You’re not the first creep in a mask asking for my Miraculous.” She snarks, hand twitching as she analyzes him and tries to come up with a plan. Without any warning, he lunges towards them, a sword suddenly in his grasp. Marinette jumps back, going on the defense as Robin lunges forward with his own katana. Marinette flits around both of them, throwing her yoyo at Slade every time he got too close to Robin. It was obvious the man was well trained, and it was also obvious that he had little patience for the two.

“You’ve improved, but you’re still not good enough.” He hisses, lunging towards Robin, his sword aimed at the boy’s chest. Marinette lunges towards them, shoving Robin out of the way. She shrieks in pain as Slade slides his sword into her shoulder. She can’t see the man’s face, but she can just imagine his smirk. He puts his other hand on his sword, and she just knows he’s going to twist. She can’t let that happen. So instead, she jerks back, screaming as she pulls herself off the sword. Robin launches himself at Slade once again, furiously slashing at the man. Slade lifts his sword up and Marinette flicks out her yoyo, grunting in pain as she irritates her shoulder. But she’s able to wrap her yoyo around the man’s wrist. Smirking, she tugs roughly, pulling the man off balance enough so that Robin can disarm him. Just as she lets her shoulders relax, Slade yanks his arm, tugging her to him. She yelps in pain as he wraps her into a chokehold. Staring at Robin, she tries not to panic. They’re gonna come for them, right? The rest of her family? Surely they’ve beaten those goons by now. They definitely heard the problem on the roof through Robin’s comm, right?

“Unhand her.” Robin says, shifting his position now that he has two swords.

“I don’t think I will. Not for free, anyway. You want her alive for some reason.” Slade says, tightening his hold. Marinette lets out a choked breath, desperately trying to pull in enough oxygen.

“What do you want?” Robin asks, Marinette tries to shake her head, already guessing what the man wants. She’d rather die than give some psycho the power of Tikki. Not only could he destroy the world, but Paris would also be lost without the Miraculous Cure.

“Her earrings. Let me take them, and I’ll let her live….this time.” He says.

“No….don’t...not..worth it.” Marinette manages to say, just barely able to shake her head. She gags as Slade tightens his grip again, black spots dotting her vision.

“Ladybird-” Robin says, and Marinette is certain she’s hallucinating now. Because he almost sounds pained.

“Don’t.” She begs, fighting to stay conscious. As she watches him, she sees a smirk make its way onto his face. That’s good. Good. Smirking brother means….what does it mean? She’s not sure. All she knows is that suddenly, the pressure on her neck is gone. She falls to her knees, gasping for breath and wincing at the burning in her shoulder. Too much. Too much all at once. A hand on her good shoulder shakes her from her thoughts and she weakly hits at it.

“Ladybird, it’s me.” A voice says. She blinks, opening her eyes, wincing at the pain enveloping her. Looking closer at the figure, she sighs in relief, letting herself slump down. She’s safe. Arms pick her up gently and she smiles softly, tiredness hitting her as the adrenaline finally fades. Curling in closer, she mumbles into Batman’s chest.

“Thanks dad.”

---

Bruce Wayne was pissed. And the only person who could piss him off so much was himself. He’d left Damian and Marinette on the roof alone because he thought they’d be safer. He didn’t think the two would be able to get into any trouble up there. Of course he would be wrong. Of course Slade Wilson would choose tonight to come after Damian. And of course the man just had to know about the Miraculous.

Hearing his daughter’s pained screams over his son’s comm would haunt his nightmares. It’d likely become the unholy symphony over the images of Jason’s broken body and Damian’s limp form. Images that’d haunted him for years and would continue to do so until he dies. When he was young, his nightmares were just of his parents. But he had seen things much worse since becoming a father. And now he’d heard much worse. Shaking his head, he tries hard to hold onto the one bright part of the evening.

Marinette had called him dad.

It was the first time she’d called him anything other than ‘Mr. Wayne’. His heart warmed at the thought, but everything came crashing down again when he remembered. Slade Wilson was gone. He’d managed to get away while his focus was on Marinette’s wellbeing. Which means his daughter was now in even more danger. Damian had informed him of the man’s obsession with the Miraculous. It was something they’d need to talk about, but not tonight. After she passed out in his arms, he brought her back to the manor. Alfred stitched her shoulder, and Bruce brought her to her room. It wasn’t decorated yet, but he’d made sure to pick out a room for her after finding out about her. Even if she didn’t want anything to do with them after this, she’d always have a room here.

Sighing, Bruce sticks his head into Marinette’s room, just to reassure himself that she was there. That she was safe. It was something he did with each of his kids, every time they were injured. Every time he was afraid that he would lose them. The sight in front of him makes him pause and pull out his phone to take a picture. They might be mad at him for it later, but he’d curse himself forever if he let this moment slip away. All of his children were piled in Marinette’s room. The girl herself was on the bed, curled into a ball despite her injured shoulder. At the foot of her bed was Damian, his face peaceful for once. Jason, Dick and Tim were all in a pile on the floor, pillows and blankets scattered both beneath them and on top of them. They were an impossibly tangled pile of limbs, guarding their youngest sister. He smiles softly, eyes finally falling on Cass curled up in an armchair that she must’ve pulled next to Marinette’s bed. Satisfied that all were well, Bruce shuts the door gently, not wanting to risk waking any of them.

His children were together, and safe. For now.

Tag list: @maribat-bdbwm @vixen-uchiha @stainedglassm @liquid-luck-00 @jayjayspixiepop @jjmjjktth @mizzy-pop @trippingovermyfeet @queenz-z @thepaceperson @iloontjeboontje @waiting247 @laurcad123 @toodaloo-kangaroo @ritacrow-blog @deathssilentapproach-blog @kittenmywaythrulife @nerd-nowandforever @tazanna-blythe @when-no-wings-do-broomsticks @imarivers8

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takethetrain · 3 years ago

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hiiii! okay. this may sound a little weird, but after reading your post about Thomas I wanted to write to you. I just had to.

All your thoughts?!? You've literally explained perfectly how I've always felt about cc's questionable writing choices regarding Thomas's character in choi.

First, Thomas is also my favourite favourite hehe, I just relate to him a lot and he's 100% the tsc character I got more attached to. However, my overall impression after choi was that cc had somehow reduced all his complexity...or more like she hadn't valued it enough? And this by simplyfing all his mental processes and creating little inconsistencies concerning his thoughts and words. Literally all the things you've pointed out!!

And yeeeah, the “he reminded himself, he didn't much like Alastair” line confused me so much. Not only it felt extremely wrong, but it also didn't make sense at all...? Especially if we consider the fact that apparently Thomas has been aware of his attraction to men and deep feelings for Alastair the whole time.

It was like all the introspective and thoughtful povs we're used to when it comes to Thomas, were kind of left out/semplified in choi.

And it makes me genuinely upset because Thomas is such an amazing and complex character with so much potential, but, as you've pointed out, it feels like he's been completely sidelined in the writing process.

I'm not gonna add more stuff since you've already phrased everything perfectly jwjsl, but know that I'm so glad someone finally talked about this!! Everything you've pointed out is just *chef's kiss*

Also. forgive me if I'm being a little long-winded, but I absolutely got to tell you. I adore your fic. It's just so so beautiful. And one of the main reasons why I love it so much, is precisely because of the way you've written Thomas!!

While reading it I was just so happy, because it felt like Thomas's complex interior world I've always felt a special connection to, had been finally explored?? *feeling incredibly emotional at the mere thought*

Basically, your Thomas just shines!! And for a person who relates so much to his character your fic is just so so comforting. (Also I'm generally very fond of the sea since I live by the seaside, so the whole story is literally perfect to me kskzj).

Anyway, this was supposed to be just a brief *I agree with all the stuff you've pointed out about thomas in choi* ask, but turned into a *I'm a huge fan of your fic, you're such a fantastic writer and your thomas is perfect* monologue, oops :'')

I probably would have sent you an ask some day, but after that post I just jumped at the opportunity to rant about your fic as well jwksj

okay, guess I'm donee, hope this doesn't sound too intrusive or anything!! Have a good day/night!! <3

OMG ! !!!!! !!! this ASK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First of all. Can we be friends?? 🥺 and second, I hope u don’t seriously worry about being long winded or whatever u said because I would take every WORD of this & have it TATTOOED on my SOUL. Putting that out there to begin with.

I’m really glad my ramblings about how Thomas was mishandled in choi resonated with someone because I truly had no idea if anyone would agree with the weirdly specific grievances I have, but they REALLY bothered me and honestly the longer I think about them the more frustrated I get. The new snippet made me really nervous too because it seems like it’s (potentially) signaling more of what we’re talking about. But THANK U for engaging with me on this, and thank you @melanielocke for giving me an excuse to write a stress-fueled essay about it in the middle of the night—if there’s anyone I can count on to validate the things I care about way too much for anyone’s good, it is this fandom.

Speaking of caring about things way too much for anyone’s good, I lowkey want to cry about the second half of your ask 🥲 because what you’re describing is exactly what I’ve been trying to do and it’s so incredible to hear that I’m not just doing it for myself but for other ppl who love Thomas too??? I wasn’t kidding when I said that’s a huge part of why I started writing the fic, to give him some time to shine/explore his interior world, so I’m just so glad that’s landing the way it is for you, and please feel free to come talk to me about Thomas anytime!!! I mean this!!! I so resonate w every single thing you said!!!!

Also thank you, if I didn’t make that clear ❤️🥰 this was such a lovely thing to receive!!

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dreamii-yume · 5 years ago

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So, in the event, Rook has shown that he just carries rope with him. You may do whatever you wish with that information 👀

This was an ask from a few...weeks ago? I don’t remember exactly how long this was sitting in my inbox because I was waiting for the perfect time to answer it (//∇//)

Rook had been a very kind and helpful senior to you this year. You’ll be lying if you say that you didn’t think he was a bit strange like the others, but he has that certain charm in him that makes it difficult for you to complete look away from his direction. Besides, it got to the point where you just got used to him and even thought his actions were somehow entertaining...If you were the spectator, rather than the target that is.

Rook is a very doting person as well, you are by no means an exception to this peculiarity of his. He’ll appear when you least expected it, often startling you out of your skin just by a mere greeting alone. He would always talk to you as if he’s reciting a poem ever so often, making you think that you may or may not have completely lost his point here, it’s almost like he’s talking in a different language. He always acts like this towards you, and to everyone else as well, you could never know what he’s thinking or what he wants in the first place. Part of you just thought that he may just have been built differently than others, but then again, Rook is an elusive individual to begin with so everything could all be an act in the first place.

Long store short; you were both fascinated and terrified of this man.

But as strange and conflicting your relationship with Rook is, you still respected the guy as your senior to some extent. Say what you want about the the Pomefiore Vice Dorm Leader but you can’t deny his wide range of capabilities. When you are at a lost for things that you think you can’t do, he was the one who provided you with the advices and help that you needed during those times. Before you knew it, you had already owe him in many ways and yet, Rook had never once asked for anything in return.

“Worry not, mon petite chérie. For I am only doing of what I must.” He would say to you as an excuse, often filling you with guilt sometimes. Especially whenever he would ever so gently pat your head, chuckling to himself as he towers down upon you. “Seeing the beauty in your smile is enough to make my own heart flutter in happiness. Oui, believe me when I say that it’s that marvelous.”

Huh...So, people who accepts things like that as payment still exists in this time and age too. Forgive yourself from being too suspicious of his behavior though, you just don’t think a single smile is worth all that trouble but you guessed this was just another “agree-to-disagree” kind of situation. Who knows? The two of you did grew up in two different upbringings. Or quite literally, two different worlds.

Anyways, although you respected his choices after all this time, you thought it was just common sense to at least provide him with a simple gift in his birthday. You saw how everyone else such as Epel, Vil, and Trey were preparing their own gifts, so you don’t think he’ll be able to reject yours this time. You made your way through the Pomefiore lounge where the party was being held, but was unable to see a single glimpse of your peculiar senior around. It was a lively party and he may be busy with the other dorm residents, so you felt a bit out of place and proceeded to ask people you personally knew about his whereabouts.

“Rook? I was talking to him earlier but now, I have no idea where he went.” Vil said with a sigh as he crossed his arms. “That guy is as elusive as always, even I wouldn’t know exactly what’s running through that mind of his. It puts me in an unsettling position actually.”

“But it’s his birthday for goodness sake, he’s the main protagonist of the day. He should be the one to at least entertain the guest out here, not hiding in plain shadows, seriously.” You laughed nervously as Vil ranted in irritation, huffing by the end. He then glanced at you and soon took notice of the gift you’re holding. “If that gift is for him then, just leave it at his room. It’s unlocked, I believe. We stacked the other gifts he got earlier there too so it wouldn’t clog up the lounge.”

“O-Oh, is that so...Thank you very much.” Thus, ended your conversation with the Dorm Leader with a bow, watching as he walked away saying how Epel had been consuming way too much sugar for the night. With no more leads to follow, you chose to go with Vil’s suggestion and headed out to his room, still at a lost for where your senior could be.

It was true, the moment you spotted the room and turned the doorknob around, it easily spun open. “...Pardon my intrusion...” You slowly said as you took a peak before entering, unsure if anyone was actually inside. There was no one, just some elagant room design as expected with the Pomefiore dorm, with neat furnitures decorated all around. You could feel your own heart cry when you compare to your own dorm which trademark lies within the ghost residents.

You felt slightly anxious, it was your first time visiting his room like this so you couldn’t help but to gawk at some things you’ve never seen before. This was your chance to explore another man’s room, albeit only for a few seconds and by the looks of it, it really hits different that of Ace or Deuce. It has the exact same smell as Rook and the sense of familiarity was somehow calming, probably because you’re so used to being in close proximity with him now. His belongings were all well-organized, the books are neatly stacked on the bookshelves, along with some...questionable collection of bows and arrows stuck on the wall. You also noticed a spare hat and a single telescope lying on his desk, you could ask what it was for, but you preferred to keep the question for yourself.

You shook your head eventually, quickly but carefully prancing inside to place your gift on his desk. Finally, your quest has been conquered, although looking around, the other presents that Vil mentioned was nowhere to be found. Maybe he has them already opened and kept at a certain storage of some sort? Anyways, that wasn’t your problem now, you did what you needed to do, it was your time to bounce out of this room, feeling as if you’re invading too much of his personal privacy. Rook did told you that he never liked that in a person.

...Until, something else caught your eye.

You stopped, eyes blinking repeatedly at the slight tear in the wallpaper near his bed. There was something hidden inside, no, it doesn’t seem like it’s trying to hide at all. It was deliberately placed in a place like that for everyone to see. So, like a cat overwhelmed by curiosity, you stepped close to inspect it, even going as far as stepping on the neatly draped bed sheets of his to get a closer look.

“Eh...?” It was a mass of pictures of almost everything and everyone you can think of upon coming to this school. It was stuck inside the wall like a collection of some sort and it took you a while to actually get what all of this meant. “There’s so many pictures...Pfft...!”

You ended up laughing at yourself for feeling so tense, you honestly felt stupid for the amount of suspense you gave yourself. Of course, this was definitely something that Rook Hunt will do, what did you think it was going to be? Sure, it is creepy to think that someone is keeping tabs at everyone and everything through photography but this is just normal in this school. At least, to those who knew Rook to some extent, it’s not really a big deal nowadays, especially at this school. Anyways, you calmed your laughter down and stared back at the pictures to actually admire them as despite it all, every one of them are all well-taken.

Humming throughout your exploration, you thought it would be interesting to see if you could spot yourself in one of these photos. You looked around and at first, it was tough since you weren’t anywhere in the photos that the wallpaper could reveal but after a while you found a glimpse of your own face at the very edge. However, the tear in the wallpaper stops there so it filled you with disappointment to not be able to see the photo he took of you. “That’s a bummer...” You pouted slightly.

However, combined with overwhelming curiosity, your mischievous side couldn’t help but to come out. You peaked through the small hole inside the wallpaper and confirmed that there is more, as you expected Rook would have, just not visible from your angle. You didn’t want to damage anything but you carefully slipped your fingers in the small opening, trying to get a better look of the picture. You were mainly trying to shine light on them, just a little bit more and you could make out of its content. It got your heart pumping somehow, eager to see what kind of photo you were in.

“Bonjour~”

Screaming almost immediately due to panic and shock, you made the mistake of instinctively gripping his wallpaper tight, dragging them down completely by accident. You turned around, face flushed and clutched your chest as your heart beats so fast that it feels like it could jump out at any moment. “R-Ro-Rook-san!?” You stammered out, your butt hitting the bed while your legs shook. “W-Wha-When...!?”

Rook only gave out a chuckle as you frantically try to calm your nerves, which was nearly impossible after the stunt that he just pulled. You knew he loved doing this and to think you’d be used to it by now, but this one felt so different than the other times you were startled by him. He was so close to you with that greeting, too close in fact. Just where the hell does he keep coming from, you didn’t even hear a single sound from your surroundings. Rook stood straight before glancing over at the mess you had realized you made when his expression turned that of worry.

You were still gripping onto the ruined wallpaper at this point so, you gasped and quickly turned around, preparing for any damage you may have caused. However, at that moment, you stopped once your eyes had finally caught what kind of picture were inside those wallpapers all along.

“Aah...To think mon chére fleur herself would be the one to unravel my collection! How embarrassing~!” Rook said, placing a hand on his slowly heating up his cheeks. He bats an eye to your direction, looking all embarrassed as you stared, unblinking at his work. He soon smirked and chuckled darkly, leaning in closer to you from behind, in which you shivered at. “...But how does it look in your perspective? Aren’t they all beautiful?”

Yes, they were harmless pictures, that’s all there is supposed to be on it. But these pictures striked a nerve in you, one such that you didn’t know could cause this much wave of alarming fear in your body.

They were harmless but they were not normal in the slightest. For almost all of what the wallpaper had revealed was all about you, and only you that it makes you sick to the stomach. Everything that you remember doing in your daily routine had been taken into consideration, from a picture of you yawning as you wake up in the morning, to a picture of you sleeping peacefully at night. Pictures of you seemingly eating, walking, talking, everything that you’ve been doing is pasted on the same wall before you, all taken in such high resolution. If that wasn’t enough, even a few photos of you in the nude was in there, bathing and changing, you unconsciously wrapped your hands around yourself as goosebumps quickly formed.

Rook had literally been watching your every movements, documenting your life with a camera and capturing everything, including things that hits way too close. Deeply disturbed, your eyes tried to glance everywhere but the pictures, only to find no escape to them. Some pictures had even been tampered with before taking the shot, like that one photo where his hands shows his hands deliberately spreading your legs for the camera as you slept. You shivered, unconsciously thinking about that other one where it was your breasts that was fully out for the world to see and oh, god...That one with your sleeping face covered with a suspicious white liquid, you almost gagged at the mental image.

“...W-What is this...” You slowly looked up at Rook with fear in your eyes, trembling like a leaf as the same guy looked down upon you with a chilling smile. It was honestly too nauseating that you instinctively brought a hand to your mouth, just in case something does come out.

“Beauty, my Love.” Rook purred closer to you, his eyes brimming with desire. “Your beauty.”

He caught your chin in a gentle yet tight grip. “I had it preserve in a memory that I would forever see. Just keeping them in my mind alone was not enough.” He said, closing in on you on his bed, preventing any possible escape routes. “...For I am a greedy man.”

And with that, you found yourself in his bind, pinning you down on the bed with your hands on each side of your head. “Now...The reason why you invaded my sanctuary was...?” Rook asked but he was not expecting you to answer at all. Instead, his eyes glanced to the side, eyeing the gift you left on his desk. “...Ah, of course. Vil must’ve given you permission to hand your gift in.”

You were as stiff as a rock, too tense to even act and move. The hands on your wrists doesn’t seem too tight but a feeling in your gut screams at you to not even try if you didn’t want to get hurt. You were left gulping down your own nervousness as Rook turned back to you with the same smile. “Merci. I’ll be sure to treasure whatever you have given me.” He whispered as he leaned closer, giving you a delicate kiss on the temple in which you squeaked at. “...But nonetheless, you trespassed on someone else’s territory, petite proie. A predator’s territory, on top of that.”

“I-I’m sor-“

“Non, an apology is not what I need. Someone as beautiful as you should not make that kind face.” Rook cuts you off, before suggestively licking his lips. He sat up, confident enough to let go of your wrist, knowing fully well that you wouldn’t have the guts to push him off. He straddled above your stomach, which left you confused and wary to wonder what he was planning to do. However, looking back at him, your eyes widened in caution as he suddenly pulled out a long and thick rope, one that would certainly burn your skin if you struggle too much. Where in the hell did he... “Lift your head up high and reap what you have sowed. That is the beauty that can justify your crimes.”

“Now...” You breathe heavily as he tightened his hold on the rope, biting his lip eagerly. You can’t even imagine how much he has planned inside his head. It made you visit the terrifying possibility that he was ready for this moment from the very beginning, curiated and planned. Your heart drops at the thought, if that is really the case, then...Just how much? How much further into the future did he plan exactly? “Allow me to indulge myself to this fine opportunity you gave me, beloved Trickster.

“...A fine opportunity, indeed. Beautifully so.”

Allow Yume to flex on her non-existing French skills along with her companion, Google Translate. i sincerely apologize to any French Darlings out there yume did not attend a single French class in her life lol

Someone teach me French so I can write more things about this sexy bitch.

#rook hunt #yandere rook hunt #twisted wonderland #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere #Birthday Crumbs

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lucis-dove · 4 years ago

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Buxom beauty

Oneshot summary; You struggle, as an overweight and taller than average woman, to find the beauty in yourself. However, Loki there to make you understood just how worthy and magnificent you truly are.

Pairing: Loki x reader

Rating: Mature

CHAPTER NO/ONESHOT: Oneshot

Word; 2.900

Warnings; will say triggering themes ( e.x serious self-doubt) even if it may not be the case, maybe som angst

Author; @the-goddess-of-mischief-writing

A/N: So a little mid-week surprise everyone! This fic is per request from a user on my AO3 account following their lines of: “Could you possibly do one where reader is tall for a woman but also overweight? She struggles with seeing herself as worthy or beautiful but Loki is tryna make her see herself the way he sees her in his own special way?? Please can you do this?” It started out as a drabble and an hour later it was all of a sudden a whole ass fic. Tbh I’m not even gonna apologise this time.

Your eyes were levelled with the upper edge of the mirror. Although you didn't concentrate on how the top of your head didn't really fit into the reflected image unless you took a few steps back. Instead, your eyes followed the soft curves running along the sharp edges of the mirror.

It was soft. No, you were soft in places which the majority of women perhaps not were. Rather than resemble the figure of the mirror before you, which was slim and narrow. Your body was an even curve all the way from your busts to thighs. Though depending on how you shifted your weight, it could also become uneven. Despite how it looked, some places were more generous than others in exceeding the public image of how you should look.

When you turned to the side, your head stayed twisted towards your figure. Your outline wasn't straight. Nor descending into a slender point of which your feet was the tip. It was like a wave, rising in places and lowering in others. And much like that movement of water, your body didn't have any sharp edges. It was simply soft and natural-looking.

You closed your eyes, turning back to fully face the mirror. However, as you started to walk backwards, you didn't re-open them. Purely because you didn't need to look to know there was no gap between your thighs. Neither how no trained illusion of abs existed as an outline under the shirt you wore. Nor how the fabric covering you followed the curve of your chest rather than fell in drapes.

Not until you had shuffled about a foot and a half backwards, enough so that you knew all of you fit in the length of the mirror, did you open your eyes.

You saw the tiredness in the eyes staring back at you. It was a tiredness of trying to make yourself look another way, tiredness to view yourself as enough. Only if you realised and found yourself in the fact that you wouldn't look any other way and that you didn't always need to be enough, maybe that exhaustion would disappear.

A sigh left you while you closed the dresser door to hide the cursed mirror. It was with the same force as you'd done earlier today when you had shut the locker door in the gym without even putting anything in there, choosing to just head back home instead.

You'd wanted to be there at first. But, discouraged by the little mirror in the changing room and the glances received from the already remarkably trained people working out, you suddenly didn't.

You still contemplated the choice. Because you shouldn't have chickened out so quickly. However, home meant that you only were aware of your own intrusive thought, rather than everyone else's judgement too.

Since this morning, your head had felt heavy with thoughts. Throughout the day, though, it had only gotten worse.

It felt like even though you rested, the little voice telling you you should do something was there. Yet, every time you did something, the other voice, the one telling you to stop trying, also whispered in your ear. This was a day you listened to the second, exemplified by your action of fleeing the gym.

So, ever since returning from the short trip outside, you hadn't done much more than lounge around in the apartment you shared with Loki.

The raven god was, for the moment, on yet another mission with the team. Though he'd told you that he wouldn't be gone for more than three days, you hadn't gotten to know much else of the mission. And despite you felt worried every now or then about the lack of information, it was fine. Because early on in your relationship, Loki said he never would hide anything from you if you asked, but he preferred to keep his work and private life as separate as possible.

You respected and understood that. So most times, you settled with the little pieces of information he willingly gave you. Primarily because you could sense his nerves anyway and know how serious the mission was from that. This time around, however, Loki hadn't been worried about the mission, so neither did you feel like you had a reason you should.

Although now, worried or not, you wished he wasn't away on a mission at all. Instead, at home with you.

You would've made the most out of the day, despite how you felt, if Loki was here. Maybe you would've watched some movies, gone out on a walk, or perhaps cook together. It was mundane activities but still things both of you enjoyed. Now though, the only representation of your mischievous partner was his shirt.

You'd nabbed it from Loki's side of the closet in an attempt to calm yourself down from the scent still lingering in the fabric. Only that it resulted in a critical try.

Because not only did it remind you too much of the warmth and presence of him, which made you miss him even more. It had also become the cause of you suddenly staring in the dresser mirror and becoming ever more conscious about yourself.

You hadn't only thought back on the day while standing there, but also the way his shirt fits you. It didn't hang down to your knees, not even the middle of your thighs. It ended halfway over your bottom, like your own shirt with an inch or two added. Thus, if you hadn't worn any tights, you would've walked around just as exposed as if you had worn one of your own shirts.

Even now, when heading from the living room to the kitchen, you looked down at where the shirt ended. The edge brushed along the very top of your thighs. You tried pulling it down a bit, but the fabric simply inched upwards again, making your brows furrow and lips purse.

That was until you heard something.

Your expression changed so that your eyebrows raised and eyes sought out the front-door from which the sound of a lock opening came from. You hadn't made plans with any friends today. Even if you had, they should've knocked, seeing how none of them had a key to your place.

The second you started to worry that it was a break-in, you saw a silhouette you recognised all too well. It was clad in green and gold. The raven hair that touched the tops of his shoulders, nearly blended in with the darker details of the clothing. You started to move before even registering anything more of Loki.

It was with mere moments to spare you noticed the emerald shimmer surround him and remove the armoured parts of his attire before you crashed into his chest.

A little ouf left the god, as he didn't expect the welcoming he got. But that didn't matter, as your arms encircled his neck instinctively. Unable to do anything else than simply stay put a few steps into the foyer, Loki encircled your waist with his arms, face boring into your neck as yours already had done in his.

"You said you wouldn't be home until tomorrow", you mumbled. Knowing he'd heard what you said from the little kiss he gave the side of your neck.

"Well, you know how my brother is, ever as impatient. Sometimes for the better and other times worse, thankfully this time was not the latter", Loki pulled his head out of the crook in your neck to look at you, consequently making you do the same. "Hopefully, you do not mind?"

"Definitely not", you thought you'd said it casually, but the way the raven-haired god tipped his head inclined you hadn't.

"Something wrong, darling?" You gave him a smile and shook your head as you said 'no' while stepping out of his arms. If you would've guessed, you supposed it was the way you retracted from Loki's touch that gave him more than a feeling that you'd lied.

"If there's something wrong, you can tell me", that he even said this made you understand he was aware that you weren't ok. Nevertheless, you saw the exhaustion in his eyes by being away on a mission with the team. He may have been recruited to the Avengers by his brother, rather unwillingly one may add, on the basis that the god of thunder could keep a watchful eye over his brother that way, though he by now had accepted the fact he wouldn't leave.

Yet simply because of this, or that he was a god, didn't mean Loki didn't get tired from the countless missions he was assigned. And it was because of this, you didn't want to burden him with what had weighed you down this whole day.

"I know, Loki", you turned then, starting to head towards your shared bedroom and the bathroom that connected to it to run a bath. However, you weren't even able to suggest that before a hand shot out and wrapped itself around your wrist.

It was enough to make you glance over your shoulder with a raised brow, but not enough to hurt.

"I can see something isn't right and that you feel like you can't tell me", your lip caught between your teeth at the pleading way the raven-haired god looked at you. Still, you didn't say anything, now concerned he would find your worry silly. "Darling, please".

"I-I... why do you want to know? You must be exhausted, go take a shower, or I can tap up a bath for us", you tried smiling to convince him he should think about himself before considering you. Yet, it seemed Loki was as persistent as you at the moment.

"Not until you tell me what's on your mind", he took a step closer, now tugging lightly at where he held your arm so you would turn to him.

"It's n...".

"Do not tell me it is nothing. If not because I am the god of lies, then because I am your lover", he cut off the half-ass excuse you'd tried to use and continued to look at you with the intent of not letting you escape with anything but the truth said. Despite he didn't know you knew you wouldn't have tried anything again, the last part of his sentence striking a nerve that made you sigh.

"This day has just been bad", you finally said. "I-I... it feels like I just need a break from my thoughts. And I know you probably need one too, regarding how messy those missions can get", the god of mischief's lip tugged upwards slightly at this.

"You, my dear, are a break from everything that ever could weigh me down".

"How can I be that", you snapped, hand tearing away from Loki's grip. You didn't know why you reacted like that all of a sudden, probably because what he said rubbed so wrong against everything you thought about yourself today. But it got even worse when you saw the slightly shocked look painting Loki's features. "There's so many more that could fulfil that", you mumbled under your breath, feeling the burn of embarrassment in your chest as you turned to head down the hall and not face him after your little outburst.

Yet you were stopped, once again, by the god when he spun you around to face him. The previous shock had now turned into a furrow between his brows.

"But I do not want more, darling, I simply want you", on good days, you may have smiled and kissed him for those words. Now you just cringed at them while trying to escape the grasp he still had on your hips.

"How could you?" You finally said when realising he wouldn't let go of you, head falling forwards to look down on the floor. "Just...just look at me compared to every other woman you meet. What do I have that they don't?"

There was a silence then, one that made you shut your eyes. You prepared to feel Loki's hands leave you where they still rested on your body, hot and anchoring, though that was not what happened. He did move, but not to take his hands off of you, nor away from you. Instead, his finger hooked under your chin.

Even though you followed his gentle encouragement to tip your head upwards, you didn't open your eyes despite feeling his gaze on you.

"Please darling, open your eyes", he didn't need to coax you any further. "There those pretty gems are", you hadn't even opened them entirely before Loki said this, instantly making you smile. Nevertheless, as if your thoughts today really didn't want you to feel happy, worthy, of his love, the corners of your mouth tipped downwards when remembering he still hadn't answered your question.

As if sensing, if not plainly seeing, the change, Loki's brows furrowed. You tried holding his gaze but felt you were unable to do so, which in the end, made you avert your eyes.

What you couldn't know was that your display had made Loki realise something did really bother you today and that the topic of the conversation held moments earlier, maybe a reflection of that.

Suddenly you felt how the touch at your left hip disappeared, to be sensed once more when it rested against your cheek. You were unable not turn towards the god of mischief with wide eyes at his gesture. However, as you once more looked at him, you saw nothing of the playfulness that often accompanied him, just a seriousness as he looked at you.

"You asked what you have compared to what others don't", he began, thumb stroking the apple of your cheek. "You have the ability to calm me like no other. You have a beauty incomparable to anyone else. You have my hearth", you felt a flutter in your chest as Loki's hand trailed from your face down to your waist, only to there pull you close to him, simply waiting for your answer.

Yet, for the moment, you were at a loss of words. Not only by what the god of mischief said. But what you realised and was constantly reminded of when being pressed against him. You'd never needed to crane your neck, nor did Loki need to bend down for the matter, to look each other in the eye.

"B-but how can I have all that?" Your voice was small as the question nearly trembled from your lips.

"Midgard is so harsh and stale that it does not care about anything more than looks. One needs to find softness and in order to do that, one needs to look further than the surface. If people simply choose to do that, they would find so many more like you", the flutter travelled further and further from your chest. Slowly like molasses, the doubt dripped off of your bones for butterflies to instead settle on them. But the dark and sticky liquid stubbornly didn't want to withdraw completely.

"Earth may be like that, Loki, but you aren't from here", you began, fingers twitching against the Asgardian attire, his signum, that he still wore. "You've told me how beautiful the eternal world is, so I know your standard of beauty, like so many other things, are so much higher than mine and everyone else's".

"Asgard is filled with beauty", the raven-haired god nodded, a smirk tugging the side of his mouth. For some reason, it made those butterflies feel like they drowned in the molasses. Because what else than far greater memories than what he's created with you could accompany such a gesture? Apparently, something entirely else, you realised as he continued. "Yet you, my darling, wouldn't fit there because your beauty out-shines all of what already exists. And do you know why none can see this? Because no-one can watch the sun for too long before getting burned".

"But you still do you", you stated incredulously. Thus why, if using Loki's own words, would he do something that hurt him. However, being ever the observant person he was, he caught your doubt. Which made him shake his head and chuckle.

"You seem to forget I am a god, no mere human or simple Asgardian", directly after he stated thus, Loki did something that made you squeal, in both surprise and worry.

His arms tightened around your waist and lifted you, high enough your feet dangled off the floor and your face was a few inches above his. You almost panicked, imagining you were too heavy for him, but you didn't find anything that displayed such strain in his face. And then any caution disappeared as he twirled you around.

A giggle fell from your lips as you felt the air around you shift with Loki's action. You felt light when nearly all thoughts from earlier seemingly were flung out of your mind and even stayed away when he gently set you down again. His firm chest still pressed into your soft one.

"Just think about it, darling, you need a god to love you for someone to find your true beauty. Does not that show how worthy of love you are if no other person can stand beside you and call you theirs", your smile didn't die down this time as you gazed at him.

"I suppose I must agree with said god", you didn't get more time to witness his smirk turn into a smile before his head tilted forward and his forehead came to rest against yours.

"You never must, but oh how honoured I would be if you did".

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ssamie · 4 years ago

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ten. “greatest desire”

kozume kenma x fem dazai!reader

(bsd x hq)

tw: mentions of suicide, guns & cementaries

masterlist. suicide freak!

"uh hi.. i know we don't really know each other that much.." atsushi started off. the boy had a nervous smile on his face as he stiffly waves at kenma, with tanizaki and naomi by his side

"but have you seen y/n-san?" atsushi asked

"y/n? why, what happened to her?" kenma asked worriedly

atsushi, tanizaki and naomi were stood in front of nekoma's gym, trying to look for the girl, as per the president's wishes. "its been about a day since you guys went out to the arcade, right?" tanizaki chimed in "has she shown herself to you, or atleast texted any of you?"

kenma frowned as he shook his head no. he looked back at the team who were trying to act like they weren't eavesdropping.

"no.. i just assumed she was busy with work" kenma muttered

"hmm, i tried to ask ranpo-san but he's too busy" naomi chimed in as she hugged tanizaki's arm to her chest

"oya oya, sorry to barge in on the conversation-" kuroo interjected. the captain had a sly grin on his face as he walked towards the group. "but we just so happen to overhear something about our manager going missing?" kuroo mused

"yes, sorry if we're intruding" atsushi bowed

"but y/n-san went missing again, and the president ordered us to find her in under four hours" tanizaki sighed

"or else we get our asses handed to us" atsushi shuddered

kuroo and kenma gave each other a look and nodded along. "we'll try to look for her later" kuroo said "we'll let you guys know"

"thank you so much!" atsushi exclaimed with a smile "would you mind calling the agency if you find her?" he said as he handed them a piece of paper with the agency's number

"its really hard tracking her down" tanizaki says with a chuckle "when she chooses to disappear, it's like she never existed in the first place"

"anyways, we'll be on our way" atsushi excused "we've troubled you long enough"

"its no problem.." kenma muttered

naomi waved them goodbye as they walked away. the duo waving back meekly as they watch their retreating figures disappear.

"hey, you okay?" kuroo nudged his friend kenma nodded and looked down at his shoes "yeah.."

"i think i'll go look for her now" kenma muttered "eh? kenma, we could just go later" kuroo said with a raised brow

"im going. bye" kenma muttered, completely disregarding kuroo as he went straight out the door

"where's he going?" yaku asked as he peeked his head out the gym doors "he's gonna look for y/n" kuroo answered

"damn. what a simp" yamamoto sneered

"wow. that's rich coming from you."

"i swear to god.." kenma grumbled "if she ends up getting found in a ditch and i wasted all that time running around for nothing.." he scoffed

he's been running around the streets of tokyo, passing through every street and alleyway to try and look for the girl. so far he hasn't seen a single trace of her, not even a single person who has managed to pass by her.

"y/n.." kenma huffed out. he was currently by a riverbank, leaning against the metal railings of the bridge while he tried to catch his breath.

"you called?"

kenma jumped at the sudden emission of her oh-so-familiar voice, and turned around to face her "what the- y/n?! where did you come from?!" kenma shrieked out

"also, where have you been?! atsushi-kun and a bunch of people from your job came to the school today looking for you" he said

y/n chuckled and strode over to his side, jumping over the rails and sitting on the flat surface of the bars. "if i told you that the port mafia took me hostage and threatened to execute me, would you believe it?" she mused

"no."

"then i won't bother to say" she shrugged

kenma eyed her warily. her port mafia story could actually be believable, now that he thought about it. given as, her bandages were loosened and torn, almost as if they broke off with too much movement. and along with the dried blood resting upon her cheeks and hands.

"are you okay?" kenma asked worriedly

even if it was believable, it could've been just her trying to kill herself yet again. not that it was any better

"of course" she smiled "though my body is a bit sore.. chuuya really doesn't hold back"

kenma froze and slowly turned his head towards her with a blank and emotionless look on his face.

"chuuya doesn't what." kenma spat out "did you seriously disappear to hook up with that dog? that-that man child? that eyesore? that-"

"what are you talking about?" she laughed

kenma huffed and propped his elbow on the cold metal, resting his chin on his hand as he pouted

"you're really funny, kenma-kun" she mused

"really? cause im not laughing." kenma grumbled "i ran around the whole city for you, only to find out you ran off with some guy" his honey hued orbs eyed her down, watching her chuckle softly as the golden rays of the sun illuminated the surroundings around her

"y/n.." he mumbled "why did you really disappear?"

"i already told you" she replied with a sigh "the port mafia is truly a force to reckon with"

"that's why you gotta stay safe, kenma-kun" she mused "you never know who and when they'll strike next"

kenma sighed and nodded along. it was old news -- the port mafia, that is -- its been stirring up the whole city for the past few months.

"ne, kenma-kun" she called out "if we do end up dying alongside each other, i suggest we drown ourselves in this river." she said

she stared down at the flowing water, the golden colour of the setting sun reflecting off of it. "its clear and pretty, not much people are around.. its quite tranquil." she hummed

"i never really understood this.." kenma muttered "but why are you so intent on dying?"

"and i never understood you, and so many others." she replied "tell me, kenma.." she turned to face him, her bandaged hands loosely gripping the railings, as her legs and feet dangle off the ledge.

"do you really think there's any value in the act of living?"

kenma didn't answer. instead he stared at her, and her clouded eyes, each orb holding an unforgivable amount of sin and deciet that he could only imagine.

"well.. is there any value in the act of dying?" he asked back

she blinked dumbfoundedly at him, fairly shocked at his question.

"isn't there anything else you desire? life is kinda cool too yaknow?" kenma said in a sheepish tone

she stared at him a few minutes longer before averting her gaze. she chuckled and closed her eyes as the cold wind breezed past. "man fears death, and at the same time, man is drawn to death" she said

"its a singular event in one's life that no one may reverse" she hummed "and that is my greatest desire."

kenma didn't know how to reply to that, so he didn't. he simply looked down up at the setting sun, letting silence wash upon them both.

"hey kenma" she called out. kenma looked at her, curious and wary. "yes?" he asked

"wanna hang with an old friend with me?" she suggested with a soft smile

"me? won't that be intrusive though? i don't really know them.." kenma muttered nervously

"it's fine. he'd probably be happy i even talk to people my age" she said with a chuckle. she jumped off the railings and landed on the ground with a grin. she stretched her aching arms over her head and patted kenma's back.

"he's a lot like you" she mused "always saying life is worth living and all.."

"okay then.." kenma agreed reluctantly "but if i sense that person doesn't like me one bit, im leaving." he groaned out

"im pretty sure that won't happen" she chuckled sheepishly

"why are we in a cementary?" kenma grumbled

"is this where you kill us both?" he scoffed playfully "i wouldn't be surprised if you already have a hole dug for us"

she chuckled and shook her head "no, no" she mused "were just taking a small stroll" she cooed as she looked around the awfully empty surrounding "ah! there it is" she perked up "it's been so long since i went here that i almost forgot my way around"

kenma followed her as she skipped away, though he was quite confused, he didn't question her.

"hurry, kenma" she called out as she watched him struggle to walk faster "i hate you" he grumbled back, which she chose to ignore

she smiled softly as she stood infront of the oh-so-familiar grave.

"geez." she mumbled "its been so long since we hung out, odasaku"

"shame we couldn't meet at the usual place" she chuckled and sat down on the grassy ground. she leaned back on the gravestone, resting her back against it as she waited for kenma to arrive

"y/n?" on cue, kenma chimed in. he was panting slightly, most likely from running and walking around for so long "what are you doing?" kenma raised a brow at her

"kozume kenma-kun.." she called out

"yes?" he asnwered

"do you know whose grave this is?" she mused, pointing her thumb to the gravestone she was leaning on

kenma eyed the name engraved on the stone and shook his head. "no..but it's someone dear to you, right?"

"what makes you think that?" she hummed out in amusement

"i've never seen you pay visit to a grave before" kenma muttered. the pudding head hesitantly sat down infront of her, bowing at the grave before settling down on the ground.

"does it look like im visiting a grave to you?" she asked with curiosity

"it does.. why?"

she smiled softly and leaned her head back, letting it fall and her eyes to land straight at the cloudy sky "well, i thought of it as hanging out with a friend but.." she trailed off

"i guess that works too" she sighed out

kenma frowned as he watched her close her eyes. her smile faltering as a wave of comforting silence washed upon them. "im sorry" kenma muttered "i shouldn't have said anything.."

"its fine." she chuckled "its been years since he died." she smiled bitterly "i guess it's time someone snaps me out of my daydreams"

kenma didn't respond. he simply toyed with the grass on the ground and the few flowers littered around.

"yaknow, kenma" she said with a smile "you're the first person i brought here"

"me? why?" kenma asked in surprise and confusion

"because this friend of mine was a good man." she said "he told me to try and look for my reason to live."

"and i think i found it" she whispered as he looked into his eyes

kenma blinked in shock as he basked in her awfully heartwarming words.

"my reason to live is to die with you."

"of course. its gonna be about suicide again." kenma sighed dejectedly. "but y/n, if you think of me as your reason to live.. then i'll take it upon myself to keep you alive" kenma smiled at her, tucking his blond hair behind his ears as he kept his honey hued orbs trained on hers.

"kenma.." she teared up

she blinked repeatedly as she opened her mouth to speak.

"i.. I DON'T WANT THAT! I WANNA DIE WITH YOU!" she whined loudly "i already had our suicide planned! i even suggested the whole river thing a while ago!" she exclaimed

kenma deadpanned as he watched her ramble on and on about her ideal double suicide. "i really don't care." kenma groaned out "i don't want you to die." he whined "why do you keep trying to kill yourself"

"just because, okay?!"

"just for that, im gonna call your agency and hand you over" kenma sighed as he dialled the agency's number

"traitor!" she shrieked "kunikida-kun will undoubtedly beat me up" kenma ignored her as he started speaking on the phone.

"yes, she's with me.." he muttered "is she behaved?" he repeated the question as he sent her a pointed glare

"no, not really" he scoffed

"kenma, you're heartless!" she shrieked in horror

"cmon. let's atleast pay respects to your friend before we leave" kenma said with a sigh "dont worry, kenma-kun! i already thought this through" she grinned. she then pulled out a bottle of sake and a book and placed it on the ground.

"you brought him alcohol? seriously?" kenma furrowed his brows

"hey, it's two of his favourite things, okay?" she defended with a laugh

"do you know how ridiculous i looked while buying these things at the store?" she chuckled "they thought i was a madman or something!"

"i would've too" kenma answered back

"you're so mean to me, kenma" she pouted "anyways, we should go." she said as she dusted her pants and unravelled a thin layer of her torn bandages.

"i can't wait to tell you about this suicide method i learned about." she beamed. she tugged on his arm and pulled him away as she continued to blabber on his ear "apparently this one does the job right away!" she exclaimed

"can you believe it, kenma?"

"wow. crazy." he replied dryly

"yeah, and all we gotta do is shoot ourselves with these guns-"

"no."

"oh my, this almost feels like a welcome home party!" she cheered. she gave the detectives a close eyed smile while they simply stared back at her with a look of agitation and worry

"where the hell were you?!" kunikida exclaimed angrily as he tapped his foot on the ground

"the port mafia!" she answered back nonchalantly

they all perked up in surprise from her claim. "huh?! the port mafia?!"

"hai hai! but don't make a big deal about it!" she chuckled as she waved her hands dismissively

"you could've died!" kunikida exclaimed "now, now! i'd like to think of it as akutagawa-kun needing some attention that's all" she joked

"jesus christ" kunikida sighed as he adjusted his glasses "that boy could kill you and you still won't take him seriously"

"anyways, why is he here?" he asked as he pointed to kenma, who simply ignored him and avoided their eyes as he played on his phone

"oh! he's the one who found me, so i thought it'd be right for me to repay him" she smiled brightly as she squeezed kenma to her chest, all while he unbotherdly continued on with his game

"i've thought of so many fun things we could do back in my dorm, hehehe~" she chuckled mischievously as kenma's face paled. she only gripped him tighter when he tried to scurry away.

"i- i see.." kunikida stuttered out. he looked at them with wide eyes as she started squeezing him tighter while kenma tried to pry her off

"y/n, you're strangling me!" kenma huffed out "i know!" she grinned

"we'll leave you two alone then!" kenji said with his usual smile as he ushered the others away

"they're worse than tanizaki-kun and naomi-san.." atsushi shuddered "that's because she's trying to kill him" tanizaki sweat dropped

"and herself, as well" yosano sneered "go get your man!" she cheered as she sent y/n a sneaky wink

"yosano-san! don't encourage her!"

79 notes · View notes

threadofdestiny · 4 years ago

Text

Magnolia (Bakugou x f!Reader)

Feudal Japan AU

Shogun!Bakugou x Midoriya’s sister!reader

Summery: Her mother, lady Midoriya Inko, had once told her that the gods had predestined a path for every single person. All she had to do was follow the path and trust that it would lead her to happiness. But how could (Y/N) find happiness in a political formed marriage with her brother’s rival, a man known for being brutal and cold hearted?

Warnings: sexual content in later chapters / period-typical-sexism / strong language / violence / Drama / Angst / Fluff / Slow Burn/ political marriage / Reader is Izuku's sister / period-typical-discriptions like vague mentions of longer hair to form typical hairstyles or specific wardrobe / Bakugou is not good at feelings / Bakugou is a mean, explosive boi / third-person perspektive

Wattpad

AO3

If someone wants to be tagged, just let me know :)

Taglist: @bakugous-mamas, @bnhastories, @brittkimm, @ ellieitstimetosleep

Chapter 1, Chapter 3, Chapter 5

Chapter 4

Turn of events

For a moment, (Y/N) watched her personal maid through the reflective surface of her mirror, while she tried to force herself to relax her tense shoulders. She hardly noticed how Mina gradually pinned a part of her hair into an elaborate hairstyle, to prepare her mistress for tonight's festivity. With glazed eyes, the young lady let her gaze slid downward to look at the oblong box on her dressing table. A silver hairpin adorned with dark green and rose-colored gemstones rested on the silk cushion of the oil-finished wooden box, sparkling promisingly in the flickering candlelight. The hue of the stones reminded her of the kimono she had worn during her performance at the imperial court. Even the floral pattern of the main piece resembled the flowering magnolia blossoms she had worn in her hair that day. The attention to detail was so shockingly accurate that it made (Y/N) shiver when she had first looked down at the piece of jewelry.

It had been the first time she had stood so obviously in public. Her introduction to society had lasted only a few moments, and yet her future husband had been able to notice so many specific details of her attire. The thought that Bakugou had been there, standing in the crowd as she strode towards the emperor, made the fine hairs on her upper arm stand on end. Goosebumps littered her soft skin, sending anxious shivers down her spine. How perceptive did a person have to be if such small details had stuck in his mind?

"Would you like to wear the hairpin tonight, Miss (Y/N)?", Mina asked curiously, after she stepped away from her mistress to follow her gaze towards the pretty jewelry. Caught off guard, the youngest Midoriya looked up, as she thought about how to answer the question her bright natured maid had phrased eagerly.

Was it too daring to wear that piece of jewelry right away? Or would Bakugou be offended if she didn't wear it tonight? Every decision she made could cause her to sink or rise in his esteem. The uncertainty stirred her eerily. It wasn't even clear if he would really attend today's festivity, and yet (Y/N) couldn't help but to anticipate that he would.

With fluttering eyelids, the youngest Midoriya took a deep breath before finally making a hesitant decision: "...Y-yes... However... do me a favor and lay out a warming kimono in the appropriate color scheme to go with it. The festivities will drag on until late after sunset and I don't want to catch a cold.", she answered nervously, before she lost herself again in her agitated thoughts.

Bakugou was like a parasite that had taken up residence in her mind and it was so incredibly frustrating that they had exchanged less than five sentences with each other until now. Every single gesture, every single word of his she had thought up to the smallest detail. Inwardly pleading that she would find some mannerisms in his behavior to fuel her hope that may had passed her mind beforehand. All she knew was that he was a stubborn and brooding man. Hardly a friendly word had he uttered in her presence until now. His posture seemed entirely dismissive and his vermilion eyes calculating and temperamental, while his reputation makes her tremble with fear at night when she was alone.

And yet, the youngest Midoriya caught herself wishing that she had a chance to learn more about her future husband. That he would also attend the festival tonight. Even if she would only be lucky enough to catch a glimpse of him. She wanted, no, she had to know what kind of person she would marry soon, in order to preserve her own salvation.

Despite the fact that (Y/N) hardly knew Bakugou, he was able to confuse her beyond measure. How did someone manage to appear so distant and brusque and yet be so attentive and prepossessing at the same time? Was she that blinded by the wish that there could be more behind their future union than duty to their country? That she had already caught his eyes before the emperor had ordered their engagement? Was it naive to hope that he concealed someone behind his cold-blooded facade she could learn to love someday? That he hid a man behind his cruel mask that was capable to love her as well? But what else could she have done if she wanted to hope for a better, love filled future?

Her destiny was already sealed. She did not have the power to change it. However, it would have done no good to condemn her future, even if her unpredictable fate instilled her with immense fear. (Y/N) didn't want to give up that easily. Even if the stars seemed to stand at a bad constellation, when it regards her future. All she could think about was her fiancé, hoping that she could have a chance for a good life by his side.

Even though (Y/N) had hoped to at least catch a single glimpse of Bakugou Katsuki, now that her wish had been granted, the young shogun felt even more unattainable. Like two identical magnetic poles pointing towards one another, they repelled each other, both shifting into groups that seemed reluctant to connect. It was not that he explicitly avoided her and her brother. It was just that the young shogun hadn't really moved from his spot at the edge of the celebration to even approach her or Izuku, since the emperor had officially proclaimed her brother as his heir at the beginning of the evening.

Since then, every noble had seized their chance to win Izuku over in some way or another. They had tried to get on her brothers good side, buttered him up now that it was clear that he would be taking the throne in the future. All except for Bakugou. The disinterest he showed made her feel insecure, even if she could guess that he was not a person who liked to occupy himself with groveling courtier's. It made her question her thoughts she had while she had prepared herself for the evening. That maybe he just wasn't interested in dealing with her and her family in general.

For hours, the young debutante had caught herself looking steadily for the blond man, asking herself what she was doing wrong or if he truly would want to get to know her. She had inwardly prayed that he would join them for a moment, but Bakugou remained grimly in one of the more secluded corners near the entrance that led deeper into the more private parts of the imperial gardens, while other nobles flocked around the newly announced heir of the imperial throne.

Together with his companion Kirishima, and surprisingly at times the easygoing noble, Kaminari Denki, he had spent his time with light conversations, while he drove away other approaching persons with gloomy looks. It was strange to observe the stoic man interacting with two such lively individuals, but apparently both noblemen felt comfortable enough to even laugh in the young shogun's presence. This picture which simply did not want to be reconciled with his bad reputation, surprised (Y/N) and made her wish all the more to find out more details about this man.

But of course, contrary to her wishes, the youngest Midoriya had to spent the entire evening obediently following her brother, like the well groomed lady she was. It would not be proper to run off without an escort, especially if she had to represent herself at her best, while Izuku was too busy filling the role of the guest of honor for the evening.

The head of her family had been strangely distant after the negotiations with Bakugou, which only fueled (Y/N)'s insecurity's all the more. While he normally didn't neglect his duties as her guardian, he seemed to be distracted by his own thoughts more often than usual. He was more inattentive than typically. In addition, all the noblemen seemed to distract him even more during the festivities. So much so that he didn't even notice how one of his former fellow pupils had repeatedly approached her in an unpleasant manner.

A few other lords from his years as novices, had engaged Izuku after some time in a deeper conversation as Mineta approaches grew bolder with each attempt. Spurred on by her brother's inattention, Lord Mineta had at some point begun to occasionally brush the fabric of her robe almost as if by accident. He did not seem to notice that his advances were unpleasant to the youngest Midoriya. No matter how much she tried to retreat discreetly, he followed her almost instantly.

Swallowing, (Y/N) dodged the obnoxious heavyset man's gaze as she felt a few stray fingers brush against her wrist. Seeking help, the young debutante looked to her brother, but she was crestfallen to find that he had turned away from her, not sensing his sisters distress. Even his interlocutors also appeared not to notice the man's intrusive gestures, while they were too busy reminiscing old adventures they had endured together.

"You are truly beautiful. I hope my parents are able to put in a good word for me. Maybe they can negotiate an union between us." Mineta spoke in a nasal tone of voice, while he again discreetly tried to step a little closer to her. Surprised, (Y/N)'s eyes widened when she heard the man's statement. Did he missed that the youngest Midoriya was already promised to another man? Or did he not fear the wrath of her fiance?

Wanting to correct the emerging misunderstanding, (Y/N) discreetly shook her head, before starting to speak in a soft manner:"... M-My Lord...M-My apologies... but-", (Y/N) began, struggling for words, as she unobtrusively tried to gain distance between the man and herself without drawing any inappropriate attention to them. She broke off her sentence when she felt several eyes resting on her figure, for fear that these received a false image of the situation. Her fingers clutched at the crystal glass of her refreshment as she continued to stubbornly gaze at the floor, thinking hardly how she should form an appropriate sentence without causing a scene. She felt left alone and helpless, but what was she supposed to do in such a situation without causing a commotion? She was a unmarried woman surrounded by powerful men who did not like to see a lady rebel.

What would her fiancé say if she misbehaved? Defending herself was out of the question in public. She couldn't just kick Mineta in the shins, even if she wanted to. Her behavior could damage her family's reputation.

Due to the fact that (Y/N) was looking for a way out, she did not notice how Mineta tried to approach her again: "You really do smell dreamy!", Mineta's unpleasant voice rang out against her ear as he leaned in to her once more. Wincing, she gasped in disgust, while she abruptly jerked back. Her fingers lost their grip on her drink for a tiny moment as she recoiled, causing the entire contents to spill onto her own garments. The clink of the glass falling on the ground beneath her feet finally made Izuku and his conversation partners turn towards her in confusion, but at that moment she wished she could have sank into the ground rather than be the center of attention. Embarrassed and close to tears the youngest Midoriya took another step back while looking at the damage on her kimono. All at once the pressure of the last few days became impossible to bear, while she looked down at herself, starting to tremble.

"(Y/N), are you alright?," she heard her brother's concerned voice rang out. Instead of being glad that he was finally paying attention to her again, his words seemed to her like the last straw that broke the camel's back, because, no, nothing was alright. But who cared that a young unmarried girl began to realize that the pressures of society weighed far heavier than she had expected, even after she had worked so hard on herself. No one had prepared her for the emotional chaos that would await her once she was introduced to society. Who would have thought that emotions and rational thinking could mess her up so badly? Moreover, she had grown up so stupidly sheltered that all of a sudden everything felt so incredibly overwhelming.

With trembling lips, (Y/N) briefly glanced once at Mineta before looking at her brother and finally shaking her head barely visible. At that moment, the situation just became too much for her. She was afraid that if she continued to stay in that place, she would burst into tears in front of their company. Taking a step back, she mustered up her courage to speak: "E-excuse me, please. I'll go clean my kimono!", she breathed with as much decorum as she could muster before instinctively turning on her heel all at once and ultimately disappearing briskly into the crowd. Had she not been so upset, she probably would have registered that she had run past an enraged Bakugou just a few feet from her point of origin, who was stomping furiously toward the small group. The youngest Midoriya was so agitated, however, that everything around her began to blur behind a veil of tears. Without thinking about the potential consequences, she fled as inconspicuously as possible to the more secluded area of the gardens to retreat behind the high hedges.

With a clean handkerchief, (Y/N) tried to pat the tears away from her wet cheeks after she had rubbed the stain from the expensive fabric of her attire. She was incredibly disappointed in herself. The whole situation had been so incredibly overwhelming, but she should have tried to keep calm and yet she had not been able to stand it any longer. Now she was alone, sitting on the stone facade of an ornate fountain in a secluded part of the imperial gardens, completely frustrated with her own behavior. The tall hedges that surrounded her, swallowed most of the sounds coming from the celebration. Trying to let the soft splashing of the small fountain calm her senses somewhat, she breathed in the fresh evening air, while the small lights on the surface of the water provided enough light to keep her from sitting there completely in darkness. Sinking into self-pity, the young girl sobbed out once again.

Suddenly a crack which seemed to come from a breaking twig disturbed the silence behind her. Startled, (Y/N) wheeled around, shocked to realize how much darker this place was compared to the festival area illuminated by the lanterns. Nonetheless, she recognized how a man unknown to her slowly stepped into the clearing. An uncomfortable shiver ran down her spine as she rose from her seated position, pressing her handkerchief against her quivering chest.

"Ah, honored Miss Midoriya, what a delightful coincidence to have found you! Your brother is already beside himself with worry!", he greeted her in an emphatically friendly manner as he moved ever so slightly closer towards her. In the shadows of the clearing, his features were a little harder to make out. For a moment she might have thought the man could have been Izuku himself based on his hairstyle, but his face was one she had never seen before. Dark eyes, which were framed by equally dark hair, looked at her insistently, as the man slowly but steadily approached her.

"Excuse me, but I don't remember us being introduced, My Lord.", breathed the youngest Midoriya. Protectively, (Y/N) pressed her bent forearms against her throbbing chest as she thought in alarm about how to escape this situation as quickly as possible. Despite his friendly posture, the man frightened her. The thought that she, an unmarried, betrothed lady, could be discovered alone with another man in a place like this caused panic to spread through her body. She could be accused of immorality if she was found here. That could clearly damage her brother's reputation, as the new heir to the throne. Not to mention, she was troubled by the thought of how Bakugou would react when he heard of this situation. Would he direct his anger at her entire family when he learned of this matter?

"Ahh, forgive me. My name is Shindo Yo. I am a good acquaintance of your brother!", he replied while he indicated a friendly bow. His smile spread across his face as he tilted his head to the side to keep her in view. He was an acquaintance of Izuku? Then why had she never heard of his name before? Normally, her brother was someone who was very talkative when it came to describing people he had already had the pleasure of meeting.

Swallowing, (Y/N) nodded cautiously before trying to discreetly circle the young man, without getting closer to him. "I see... T-Thank you for pointing out that he was looking for me then. I should return to him as soon as possible, my lord!", she breathed affirmatively, trying to end the conversation as quickly as possible. Before the young Midoriya could scurry past him, however, calloused fingers had closed around her wrist all at once. Gasping, the young debutante jerked her head around to look up at the man in panic. Without (Y/N) being able to react in time, Shindo pulled her towards him with a jerk, so that the impact against his muscular body caused a brief dizziness in her head.

"Ahh, I'm sorry, young miss. But I'm afraid I won't be able to let you go just like that. I mean... how surprising it would be to find an unmarried girl alone in the arms of a man in the back of the imperial gardens. How... unheard of! And that too from the future princess. Who would have thought that? I wonder what your fiancé will say when he hears about this? It is said that he and the crown prince are not necessarily favorably disposed towards each other! I wonder what could trigger such a situation between them?"

"No! Let me go, please!"

Sheer panic caused (Y/N)'s body to release a huge amount of adrenaline all at once. Immediately, it awakened the flight reflex in the young debutante, so she desperately began to fight back against the stronger man, punching him with her free hand while trying to tear her other arm away from him. Cursing, Shindo tried to grab her wildly flailing arms, but before he could do so, the youngest Midoriya instinctively grabbed the hairpin her fiancé had given her two days ago. Without paying attention to her hairstyle, she tore the piece of jewelry out of her hair, only to ram the two long pointed teeth of silver metal into her attacker's shoulder. With a cry of pain, Shindo disengaged from her as he staggered back disoriented. Dark blood dripped from her improvised weapon as she held it protectively in front of her. Gasping, (Y/N) tried to widen the distance she had gained between them by backing a few steps away from him, but in doing so she had failed to notice the bump in the turf, which is why, she tripped over her own hem and fell to the ground with a frightened cry.

Full of terror, she realized that Shindo now had the chance to grab her again, but that moment was never to come.

It was only a few seconds later that (Y/N) had registered that Bakugou Katsuki himself had rushed past her to ragefully give her adversary a right hook. The blow seemed to hit Shindo so hard that he almost instantly fell to the ground unconscious.

"Miss Midoriya, are you hurt?", a warm, masculine voice rang out beside her, causing her to instantly startle in panic. Instinctively, she raised her bloodied hairpin in front of her body to defend herself if necessary. However, when she recognized the face of the red-haired companion of the Shogun, (Y/N) immediately relaxed. Instantly, the young debutante shook her head and tremblingly grasped Kirishima's hand, which he had extended to her in offering to help her up. Her body shook like leafs in the wind barely able to keep her to stand upright, but nevertheless, she immediately turned around to look for the person who had come to her rescue. Bakugou bent with clenched fists down towards the man lying on the ground to strike him again, but (Y/N)'s pleading voice made him pause for a moment.

"B-Bakugou-sama!", the young Miss Midoriya gasped in panic as she broke away from his red-haired companion as quickly as possible. Immediately, the blond man spun around, breathing heavily as he returned the frightened girl's gaze. Analyzing, he looked at the stage in which his fiancée was. Her hair had been partially torn out of her hairstyle, while bloodstains adorned the white fur that her maid had previously draped around her shoulders to protect her from the evening chill. Bakugou's whole body radiated a tremendous anger when he saw how frightened she seemed, but as he watched her approach him faithfully, his muscles relaxed instantly. At that moment she forgot all the terrible rumors about her future husband, glad that he had come to her rescue. Seeking safety, the youngest Midoriya extended her fingers to reach into the Shogun's kimono sleeve as her gaze swung timidly to the unconscious Shindo.

"I defended myself. I-I didn't know any other way to help myself. I am sorry.", she whispered in a shaky voice. Bakugou allowed the young girl to claw at his arm. With deep breaths, he studied her expression searchingly. After a moment he shook his head in a dismissive manner before answering her statement:"You did the right thing.", he grumbled, before looking back down at Shindo. Immediately, (Y/N) followed his gaze while she tried to suppress an upcoming shiver that ran down her spine. "Is... he dead?", she asked frightened, when she saw that the man on the ground was not moving at all. It was too dark to make out any injuries, but she knew that he must be bleeding profusely from his shoulder. Snorting, Bakugou shook his head, while his shoulders stiffened again a little. "Not yet!", he growled as he made moves to approach Shindo again. His free hand reached out to grasp the handle of his katana, but (Y/N)'s fingers dug deeper into the fabric of his sleeve as she stepped closer towards her fiance.

"Your Grace. We should get out of here before someone discovers us. Your reputation could ge-" "What do I care about my reputation?", interrupted Bakugou angrily as he spun back around to face her. Overwhelmed, the young girl looked up at him as she searched for a new approach. Shindo had attacked her. He deserved to be punished, but (Y/N) did not want to witness him losing his head because of that. Tears still glistened in the girl's eyes, but no more flowed down her cheeks as she finally began again:"I-I can't be seen here either. That would also damage Izuku's and my reputation!", (Y/N) pressed out uncertainly.

Immediately, realization spread across the blond man's features before he began to curse in annoyance. "Then what are you waiting for? Get the hell moving out of here!", he blustered angrily as he began to push her out of the clearing. "Dunce Face, go find Deku and discreetly explain to him what had happened. I'll take his sister away in the meantime!", he ordered Kaminari, who surprisingly stood a few feet behind Kirishima, nodding dutifully. As he left the clearing, he threw (Y/N) an encouraging smile as he passed her, but he did not hesitate further to carry out his order. "Kirishima! I want you to take care of him! Find out what exactly was going on here!", the Shogun growled in the direction of his other companion, while he gestured towards Shindo with a nod of his head. A serious expression spread across Kirishima's face before he nodded obediently as well.

With her head bowed in shame, the youngest Midoriya left the dark clearing accompanied by the blond shogun, but instead of heading back in the direction of the festival, he led her in the opposite direction. "Going into a secluded part of the garden alone by yourself was reckless, girl! You should be glad that Kirishima had seen you disappear in here! Something more terrible could have happened to you otherwise!", dispraised Bakugou as he dragged her along behind him. Stumbling, (Y/N) moved in the direction she was being pulled, while trying to sort out her appearance as best she could.

"I know!", (Y/N) replied dejectedly.

"That rotten bastard deliberately followed you! You shouldn't have moved away from your good for nothing brother under any circumstances. As a fucking Midoriya, you have a huge target on your back, you hear me? Your brother is going to be the next damn emperor! So you have to be more careful, brat!", added Bakugou angrily as they scurried past the tall rose hedges.

"I... I know.", the youngest Midoriya whispered again. His choice of words hurt the young girl, but she tried not to burst into tears again.

"If you wouldn't have just put up with everything beforehand and just directly told that damn pervert at the party to keep his fucking mitts off of you, it wouldn't have had to come to this in the first place!", the young shogun continued to chide her darkly, giving all of his frustration an outlet. However, the young Midoriya was also still running partly on the increased adrenaline release, which is why she finally looked up to give Bakugou with a pained expression on her damp face. Had she not been so upset, it certainly would have surprised her that he had even noticed the situation at the party. After all, he hadn't seemed like he wanted to give her any attention in the first place. But at that moment, all she could feel was how all of her frustration wanted to burst out of her.

"Yes, I know!", she replied in a sharp voice before taking a deep breath. "I know it now, that going into that part of the garden was incredibly reckless, and I regret it too. But please. Please, don't judge me for trying to ignore Lord Mineta's advances. It was not my place to covet. Causing a commotion in public would have only caused more problems. I didn't want to disgrace you and my brother. Believe me, if it had been up to me, I would have loved to fight back.", (Y/N) blurted out before she could catch herself. Trembling, she pressed her hairpin to her chest, no longer thinking about the fact that the blood sticking to it could stain her clothes even more.

Abruptly, Bakugou spun around after he registered the young debutante's words to glower down at her, snorting with rage. Jaw tightened, he gritted his teeth as he bent down dangerously slow over her smaller frame. "Listen, girl! I will not allow my future wife to be molested by anyone. I order you to fight back, damn you! Do you understand?", growled Bakugou firmly, while his hand tightened around her trembling wrist. Despite the pressure, however, he seemed careful not to hurt her unnecessarily, but this was the least thing that occupied (Y/N)'s mind at the moment.

Shaking her head disbelievingly, she tried to form words of refutation: "But... Y-Your Grace-", the youngest Midoriya began to stutter, eyes widening in shock as she gazed speechlessly into her fiancé's vermilion eyes, unable to form a decent sentence. "I don't expect you to directly ram your jewelry into everyone's shoulder, but use your fucking voice and put people in their place. That perverted little rat wouldn't have dared to approach you if you told him that you were my fucking fiance!", hissed Bakugou angrily as he unconsciously pulled her closer to him.

Silence spread between the mismatched couple after Bakugou's last words. For a brief moment, they looked at each other in silence with rapidly moving chests, until all at once an appreciative grin settled on the mans full lips. This expression literally took the remaining wind out of (Y/N's) sails. How could he seem so amused all of a sudden when he had been furious not even a moment ago?

Before (Y/N) could ask where his change of heart came from, the Shogun once again interrupted the silence between them:"While I had not given you the hairpin with that intention, I cannot deny that I was impressed that you had used it to your advantage.", the young shogun remarked with an amused look as he pointed to her improvised weapon. Speechless, the debutante looked down before an uncomfortable heat shot up her cheeks. Forgetting that he had chided her just a few seconds ago, (Y/N) lifted her shoulders in shame. "I am sorry!", whispered the young girl, but Bakugou only shook his head, before he indicated to follow him again.

"Don't be. Now Come. I'll take you home.", the shogun ordered a bit softer than before. Clenching her jaw, (Y/N) nodded surrenderingly before walking briskly after her stoic fiance.

#bakugou katsuki #bakugou x female reader #bakugou x reader #bakugou x yn #bakugou #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #bnah #mha

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