#i guess im better than i used to be bc. i post way more than i used to re:drawing and writing lol but

[carcarrot]

do i really want to make individual drinks again

[krillrot]

all these coding classes lately remind me that i gotta work on my website sooner or later...

[cerealmonster15]

ougugugughghhh i get,,, so embarrassed when i try to be Earnest lol especially w/in the context of like fanart/fic like i LOVE when other people do it i LOVE reading earnest and vulnerable deep fics and seeing intense fanart etc etc etc. but then i do it i feel like i am Going To Be Killed LJFDKSLF SDJFLS

[ganondoodle]

so, this blew up on twitter (currently at 15k+ notes and still going ..) which completely blindsided me and now i cant draw again as if i was burnt out right away AGAIN and its rly annoying :I

also on twitter one person called me the r slur on it though and i just blocked them without understanding why they said that .. until i got another one earlier today that said "fuck off with your pronouns and just go make political art" and i realized oh ... people getting mad at pronouns are real after all, its such a non problem to me i didnt see how there was anything offensives about this until that second one spelled it out xD

Empress and her Bodyguard.

(OCs, grey haired lady Zaphira she/her, demon Shargon he/they)

(also some details up close)

and this guy bc i find him funny

[alittleemo]

.

[fantastic-mr-corvid]

the reason i dont talk as much about jjba cecio is bc he is very strongly a piss take of the 'one good pig' because he is the 'one good cop' but hes actually so much worse. hes using a mask of humor and kindness and relate-ability to help aid in murder blackmail wrongful imprisonment and all manner of massive power abuses, but because he does the bare minimum of pretending to be a 'good' person [in the right way] he gets free license to do all that and is seen as sympathetic. so actually hes not worse, hes just an average fucking pig with slight different motivations it doesn't matter if he answers to the police or criminal organizations, because the fucking pigs are their own gang just under the guise of 'upholding the law' and hes betraying his community and ruining peoples lives over and over for power either way

[xiao-come-home]

Thinking about post-story Jiaoqiu trying to find himself in the new situation.. and getting even more clingier 🤧

warning: spoilers for jaoqiu's story if you havent played the new quest. possible ooc jiaoqiu?

Word count: 1k+

a/n: its been a while from writing and even tho im not disabled in any way, i hope its alright bc im kinda nervous to post this. i just think hed be a lovely pain in the butt to get more love </3

The new reality has been a true challenge for Jiaoqiu - trying to navigate through the house was already a tedious task, let alone cooking, but he wasn't going to give up so easily. While yes, he did miss doing things by himself - which, once in a while brought dark clouds over his head - the foxian managed to find enjoyment through doing tasks together, with your help.

It's quite known that Jiaoqiu isn't afraid of craving affection from you anywhere and anytime - especially now, considering he's limited in what he's able to do safely without hurting himself. Now that you're welcome in the kitchen to assist him, the pink-haired foxian can't help, but pull you flush against him while you carefully guide his hands to cut vegetables in even slices.

The healer slowly trails the tip of his nose down your hair until he recognizes the familiar shape of your neck - Jiaoqiu nuzzles happily into you, ever so slightly tickling you and giving you goosebumps; he smiles against your skin when you let out a comically fake, tired sigh, only fueling him to continue pestering you further.

He purposely takes his chin off the top of your head and searches for your ears so he's able to whisper, but when you decide to playfully confront him, Jiaoqiu only plays dumb and tilts his head to the side, asking you a seemingly innocent question, "Hmm? What do you mean, love? I'm not doing anything, the kitchen is not a playground, remember?"

There's a chance you'd probably believe him if you two were mere coworkers - but his twitching ears always give away his attempts to lie to you.

Jiaoqiu is clingy. Absolutely no news to anybody. That's when you finally get done with cooking, it's time for the cunning foxian to get a break; he stretches his arms to you, waiting until you put his hands on your cheeks. He cups them gently, rubbing the soft flesh with his thumb, and softly moves it to find your lips - his mind paints a picture of your figure, the shape and every crease his fingers feel; he smiles at you yet again, with a glimmer of mischief.

He wants to kiss you.

He also knows he will most likely miss your lips more or less.

But instead of feeling hopeless, he uses it to his advantage.

Jiaoqiu begins to pepper your face in kisses until he feels you try to get away from him and hears your angelic giggles; he kisses your left eyebrow - oh no, that's definitely not the place he's aiming for! He moves more to the right and kisses the bridge of your nose - oh no, not yet! The softness of his lips meets the apple of your cheek - oh, that's closer, but still not the goal he has in his mind...

After a while of Jiaoqiu purposely changing directions (and probably missing some anyway, but it's not like he complains about it, since he can kiss you more this way), with a little help of yours, he places a kiss on the corner of your lips, barely giving you time to breathe and finally, finally reaching his awaited destination, pressing his lips on yours; he gives you a few quick kisses if he feels like he still misses the exact place to change the angle, melting into a puddle with butterflies in his stomach.

Is it hard sometimes? Yes. The heavy weight travels straight to his heart, leaving him clenching his fists; the foxian hates the helplessness that hurts twice as much, much worse than the wounds Hoolay has inflicted.

Nowadays, his ears pick up your step way better, even letting him guess correctly what jar of herbs you're opening from the mere sound. He uses his tail as some sort of object detector - but he only waves his fan innocently when it makes you yelp in surprise, as Jiaoqiu runs the tip down your spine all the way down.

"Ah, I wonder what that was?" Jiaoqiu wonders, the fluffy ears twitching and the pink tail swishing behind him, "Is something wrong, beloved? Did you mess up the measurements? No worries, we'll fix it right away."

Well, if you decide to leave the house for supplies, you now have to hold his hand all the time. Just to be sure, he also wraps his tail around you, so he knows you're by his side and he doesn't bump into anybody. Hey, he's just thinking about the civilians around him! As a doctor, there's nothing else that matters more than keeping them safe and healthy... Right?

Even though he's been braiding his hair for years and could probably do it by himself again - being only a tiny bit off on one side, he cuddles up to you in the morning and presses kisses onto your neck, silently asking you to help him once you get out of bed - you certainly can't miss his hair getting all up in your face... and therefore, what he's asking for.

Does he feel a liiiitle desperate? Mmm, a bit.

Does he feel like he's feeding the helplessness in the back of his mind? Sometimes.

But it's worth to look for happy moments regardless of the situation - and you being perfectly aware he's doing it solely to get even more of your attention - makes him feel a little better with it.

Though, he knows when to stop and give you space; he doesn't want to actually become your burden, even if he lost his sight, he's still trying his best to stay as independent as possible in terms of daily tasks as possible.

If you're tired, Jiaoqiu waits until you hand him the brush and he's the one combing your hair; if you're too sleepy in the morning, he's the one helping you put on your clothes with verbal help, even if it takes a bit more time than usual. Along with you, he organizes medicines so neatly, it takes a blink of an eye for him to bring a full tray of medicines when you happen to catch a cold.

Does he miss being able to see? More than he'd admit.

But the more he thinks, the pink-haired foxian always comes to the same conclusion - it'll probably be harder to unlearn the clinginess once his eyesight comes back...

But for now, maybe it's alright to indulge a little more?

[birdiewriteslit]

OMGGG!!! i saw ur post abt luke requests and im so glad i did bc i have also had a terrible poseidons daughter!reader brainrott

could you write smth about luke and pd!reader sneaking out to go on a date and then getting caught and sassed out by percy?? 🫶

yes ofc! we love persassy here

luke castellan x daughter of poseidon!reader

warnings: just persassy and a make out sesh

for the sake of this fic let’s pretend that curfew and harpies don’t exist at chb

The knock came at 10:30 pm. You were feeling very lucky in that moment that Percy was a heavier sleeper than you. You tiptoed to the door, opening it slowly and as quietly as possible.

The moment you turned to face Luke after closing the door with caution, his lips were on yours. You pulled away before he managed to convince you to continue right there in front of your cabin.

“Luke!” you whisper shouted. “You can’t do that here.”

He grinned, bringing both hands to your waist, squeezing once. “What? I can’t kiss my girlfriend?”

“Your secret girlfriend, and no, not until we’re at least fifty feet away from the cabins,” you reminded him.

“Stop pretending you don’t want to,” he said, teasing.

He was right, you were pretending. You were flustered by the kiss, and he could tell. You kind of hated how good he was at knowing and how he was even better at making it worse.

“Let’s just go,” you said, not looking at him as you grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the beach.

You eventually made there, getting stopped by Luke’s advances on you every once in a while. He settled next to you on the sand, and tugged at the string on your hoodie. “Can we make out now?”

You gave him a look, one that he knew didn’t actually mean no, even though you tried to make it look like you were serious. “Damn, give me a second. Why’re you so desperate tonight?”

“Because I love you,” he said plainly, swinging an arm around your shoulders and pressing a kiss your cheek. “And I haven’t seen you all day. Is it a crime to miss you?”

You rolled your eyes even though you were blushing. “Stop being so sweet.”

“Stop being so beautiful,” he countered, wasting no time in dropping his head down to meet your lips. You brought your hands up to his face, cupping his cheeks and deepening the kiss.

He shifted your legs over his lap with his free arm, the other one pulling you even closer, his fingertips grazing over your hair.

You let your fingers tangle themselves in his curls, slightly tugging at them. He let out small noise, curling his hand around your neck and running his thumb along your jaw. “Oh, Luke,” you moaned into his mouth.

“So, I’m guessing this isn’t the way to the bathrooms?”

Your brother’s voice made you spring away from Luke, pushing him back with your palm on his chest.

Your face was burning as you made a large effort to not make eye contact with Luke. “Percy, you know where the bathrooms are.”

“That’s beside the point. What are you doing with this freak of nature?” he asked, quite seriously, as he folded his arms over his chest.

“Freak of nature?” Luke protested, but Percy held up one hand to silence him.

“Didn’t ask for your input.” He gave Luke a dirty look before turning to you. “Are you going to explain yourself? Hm?”

“We’ve been seeing each other,” you said, looking cautiously over at Luke. “For a while now.”

“A while? You’ve been settling for this pervert for a while?”

“Settling isn’t the word I’d use.”

“Pervert isn’t either,” Luke added unhelpfully.

“Well, judging by what I just walked in on, it’s the one I would use,” Percy said. “Come on, Y/n, let’s go to bed, which is where we’re supposed to be because it’s nighttime.”

“But-“

“No buts! Let’s go.” He turned on his heel and started to walk away.

“And here I was, thinking he liked me,” Luke said despairingly.

You stood, wiping sand off of your pants. “He’ll come around,” you reasoned.

“Please, give me one more kiss before I have to say goodbye forever,” he said dramatically, taking your hand and rising to his knees.

You giggled. “You’re so weird.” But you still indulged him, leaning down to press your lips to his.

“Stop doing that!” Percy shouted in the distance.

[orphicdreamers-wp]

Girl Of My Dreams — Mat Barzal

Summary: In which Mat Barzal inadvertently falls for the oldest Hughes sibling and her brothers aren’t happy.

Content Warning; Taylor swift 1989 isn’t by Tay(its by reader) Mentions of University of Alabama (reader went there) Trevor Zegras being hopelessly in love with reader. Readers social media face claim is Addison Rae bc idc she’d clear as a WAG for a athlete.

Pairing: Mat Barzal x Hughes! Reader.

Mat would be lying if he said he didn’t sneak glances at the announcers box after meeting you. You had been carrying a plate of food and two margaritas to your booth where your friends sat. Tito had made a joke about you seeming familiar then the pair heard your voice and knew, “Alright now, eat up because y’all are bumming me out.” Mat’s jaw slacked, “He’d known that the Islanders had gotten a new game announcer who was a girl but he wouldn’t have known it was you. You were effortlessly stunning, you had captivated the attention of every straight man in the bar. Mat had approached you as you sat at the bar, “I’m Mat, can I buy you a drink?”

You grinned and spoke, southern accent slipping out, “I’m Y/N, I mean Barzy after the way you played last game? You better buy me a drink. ‘Yknow how many hate comments my broadcast got?” Mat grinned as the bartender approached you, “Another Corona Light and whatever she’s having on me.” You grinned sheepishly, “I’m fucking with you. I’ve heard worse.” Mat grinned, “So now would probably be a shitty time to ask you out?” You smiled at him, “Maybe not.” Mat smiled, “If I may, your not from New York are you? Where are you from?” You grinned, “I grew up in Toronto with my 3 younger brothers and moved to Alabama for college and been in New York for a few months now.” Mat grinned, “Well welcome to New York beautiful.” That was a year and a half ago. You still hadn’t told your brothers who your boyfriend was, just that his name was Mathew. Until your album release came creeping in and you wanted to go public with Mat.

Instagram

ynhughes; my album ‘1997’ is now streaming! thank you for all your support(especially the bf, ‘slut’ and ‘suburban legends’ are 4 us)

barzal97: celebrating you is my favorite pastime. i have never met someone who people gravitate towards more than you. you are by far the most wonderfully amazing woman i know. it is a privilege to say i love you🤎 this past year or so has changed my life. you make living easy and so so much better. i can’t wait to see what the future has in store for you.

trevorzegras: alexa play that should be me💔💔

ynhughes: forever in awe of you mathew barzal. amazed a gal like me is lucky enough to be adored by you🤎

oliviarodrigo; THEY HIT THE PENTAGON!! @conangray

>conangray; told you it was them i saw at radio music hall!

ny_islanders; our roman empire is all the sweet posts for to y/n today🥹🥹

sydneyemartin: brb crying. the purest people in the world. so grateful my girls get to grow up seeing a love this pure that isn’t their parents.

>ynhughes: we adore your girls more than words can express.

_quinnhughes: my biggest inspiration is out here killing it. in awe of you everyday sissy🥹 thank you for being my best friend from day 1

ynhughes: in a puddle of tears quinny. thank you for always being on my side, even when im wrong.

sabrinacarpenter; hockey players making me ugly sob wasn’t on my 2023 bingo card

elhughes; my first babies🥹 extremely emotional over you all today

>_quinnhughes: we love you momma💕

jackhughes: 1997 reasons to love my meanie head sister, i guess her bf’s alright

ynhughes: i love you little brat, come visit me and mat!!

>jackhughes: will do, sissy🫡

trevorzegras: i can’t believe she won’t date me 😞😞

>ynhughes: buck up z, your way too young for me. perfect age for @sabrinacarpenter tho!

lukehughes: the worlds best big sister came out with the best album to date

ynhughes; really feeling the hughes love train today, i need to plan for all of us to be together soon! so y’all can meet Mat!

etnow; this just in; the Hughes brothers have brought tears to my eyes supporting their sister

barzal97: the third picture is actually the most accurate representation of your sister now

>lukehughes; always messing with those darn cats! even if they are on the side of the street.

[giveafike]

Hiii i love your dominic fike works :,) and i was wondering if you’d write a nsfw alphabet for ben shelton? preferably fem reader but if you think something else would work better then that’s cool too 🤞

TLDR: NSFW alphabet! I borrowed the format from other NSFW alphabets I've seen round here.

Warnings + Content Ahead: fem reader! NSFW, Minors DNI! There's a bit of everything in here, mentions of cum, light bondage, throatplay, fingering, masturbation, oral sex, thighriding, toys, moaning if that's anything to warn about - just read w caution if NSFW is a touchy subject! Nothing too crazy or wild here.

Azzie Notes ✚: !!! Bro, tell me why there’s actually no NSFW Ben content here?? And he’s literally so hot?? I was losing my mind during Laver Cup and now I’m losing it after seeing the sleeve on his left arm at Japan Open.

Anyways, this should go wo saying: all assumptions and guesses, girl idfk anything!!! I’m just daydreaming!! I hope I don’t repeat myself too much throughout this but erm..yeah! Enjoy!

P.S. IJBOL I'm writing this while watching Fils v Shelton rn pls im so unsrs. Do send in requests! I have a couple of ADORABLEEE ANON BEN REQS AND IM SCREAMINGGG send more, im so feral for a cute moment. The support and reception I got on my big old long Ben post has been so sweet, you all are so sweet bless u all 😽

————————————————————————

NSFW Alphabet - B.T.S.

A: aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

I'd like to think Ben is very caring after sex, he acts first before he says anything. Things like asking if you're okay, if he was good for you, fetching some water for you, (carrying you if you can't walk after bc let's be honest here...you prob can’t walk after all that) ahem, ordering food and getting you comfy first - just a bunch of acts of service before he settles down and smothers you in kisses all over your face and shoulders and mumbling i-love-yous. He'd play with your hair with a lazy smile and smitten eyes and tell you that you're amazing and how much he cares for you and how he loves to show you just how much he loves you.

B: body part (their fave body part on their own body + fave body part on your body)

Ben knows he's handsome and he def knows what he's does to us lmao, but I think what he loves most on his own body would be his arms and his abs. Not only is it a testament to his hard work and dedication to tennis and training, but seeing how you'd react when you get a glimpse of his slick, sweaty abs halfway through a game would make him go feral. But what he loves even more is when you hold onto his bicep when you're out together, or how you dig your nails into his shoulders when he's deep in you.

If I'm being fr I think Ben is a "bit of everything" rather than an ass/boobs guy. If you are out in public, he has his arm thrown over your shoulder or tight at your waist, or you're holding onto his arm. In private, I think he loves you siting on his lap for movie nights, holding your hips while you ride him, palming your breasts when you're making out with him, tapping your ass when he walks by you, rubbing his hand over you thighs and planting soft kisses up and down your legs - like, he loves every inch of you all the time and BAD. He shows it so clearly with his deeds, he just can't keep his hands off of you. He sees you as nothing but perfect and worships you with his hands and lips.

C: cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

I think when you first experiment together, he wouldn't want to cum on your face, but instead would do it on your back after doggy or on your chest or your stomach, or finish off in your mouth - something about seeing you a bit messy and decorated in his cum would turn him on even after he came. But over time and with trust, he'd find himself obsessed with finishing in you. The feeling of you both reaching your climaxes together in full height would drive him crazy - knowing he was the only one able to fill you the way he does and having your mixed arousal pool out of you was just another realm of pleasure.

Ben would be a fan of having you ride his face until you couldn't handle it anymore. Something about his face being soaked with your cum while you moan and grind down on him over and over again, and then seeing you lie down beside him afterwards with half-lidded eyes and shivering after all that would be more than enough to get him off. Same sentiment for fingering too, he'd be so pleased seeing your arousal coating his fingers, like seeing just how worked up you are for him every time would be unbelievable to him each and every time.

D: dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Ben's into car sex. But especially if you're going somewhere special. Something about dressing up for an event/date and getting his sexy partner into his sexy sports car would drive him wild with the idea of pulling you over to the driver seat and having you ride him right then and there.

I think he's also into you trying to take control or being a brat just so he can flip it around and put you in your place - especially with some spanking or teasing, making you beg for permission to cum - nothing extreme just enough to make you whimper and submit 🙂‍↕️.

E: experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

I don't think Ben has tons of experience imo. He went to college for a bit but he's only 22 with a demanding schedule and doesn't seem to have much dating history either. I feel like he's too focused on himself, his family and friends and his career to be hooking up and going crazy with experimenting. In saying that, he definitely knows what he likes and needs and he can learn quick too.

F: favorite position (this goes without saying)

I think Ben would loveeee holding you in his strong arms as he fucks into you, it'd be so intimate and precious in his eyes, watching your face contort with every thrust and hearing your soft moans roll out right into his ear. He’d want you to keep your eyes locked on his but you’d keep rolling them back in pleasure. He’d love groping your ass or boobs while he held you like that. Ben would also be into doggy, like your face and arms pressed down on the mattress while he holds your hips or grips your hair, bundling it into a very messy ponytail and tugging when he feels himself getting close.

G: goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

We all know Ben's a silly, goofy guy so I believe he wouldn’t be opposed or unlikely to let out a few chuckles with you. It'd be something as silly as him struggling to unclasp your bra or him accidentally slipping out of you that would earn a few small giggles from the both of you. Or maybe you're both drunk and having giggly, sweet sex - just whispering affections, foreheads pressed together, unable to hold in your pure, raw love for each other. It wouldn't ever be out of malice or anything, it would just be how comfortable you two were with each other.

H: hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

I think Ben has it trimmed but not bare. He has a little happy trail down that's dark and curly so I imagine it to be the same below too.

I: intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

I imagine him to be so intimate and loving. He wants to hear how good you feel, he'll make you talk to him, beg for him. He definitely mixes praise with degradation but on top of all, he loves calling you his - "my pretty slut", "my beautiful mess" , "my girl". He loves making you beg and plead for him, holds your chin and makes you look up at him and plead him to touch you over and over again before he finally gives in and gives his all. He definitely loves taking his time when he can, making sure he doesn’t skimp out on anything and make sure you can feel his pure love for you in every action.

He def would love to have a whole ambiance going; candles, fresh flowers, a bubble bath, fresh sheets, a new lingerie set for you, soft music playing, maybe even try to make a meal for you too and it wouldn't be for special days, sometimes it would be "just because". He loves to tell you that he loves you and would try his absolute best to show it too, through kisses and roaming hands all over your body and trying to make you feel like you're the only girl in the world, because to him you really are.

J: jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He loves you, just thinking about you lying in bed waiting for him would help him get off, thinking of your moans, your voice in bed begging and encouraging him, the way you look at him and hold onto him like he’s your rock; he'd be close to cumming off of the idea of you alone.

If you let him, he'd have a private album of photos and videos of you two together that he'd watch while he's on tour to help him get off, and of course he'd text you right after (sometimes with pictures of the mess he made too) telling you how much he loves and misses you, your touch and your body. If you had the time, he'd also call you while on tour and have phone sex, talking dirty to you and guiding you the entire time and watching how your face and breathy moans through the phone. Distance makes the heart grow fonder and masturbating together while away only meant that sex together would be even more intense and intimate when you reunite.

K: kink (one or more of their kinks)

Ben's huge (both height, strength and well ..size..) so seeing how you take him and how soft you look in comparison to him is a massive kink for him. That size kink of his drives him wild.

I can see light bondage or restraints as a kink too, pinning you down with his hands or using soft cloths to tie your hands together, maybe even covering your mouth or holding your throat for light breathplay at times too.

I think he'd lose it over being told how good he feels and being praised in that sense. Like I said before, he'd love mixing praise and degradation and showing you that you’re his girl, no one else's. He'd love getting you off more than anything as well.

L: location (favorite places to do the do)

In no particular order: his car, the bedroom, the living room, kitchen - hell, even the bathroom right by the sink - anywhere where he can have you all to himself for as long as possible.

I don't think he'd try anything super public, like in a changing room, but if you're both desperate and horny, maybe in a personal gym or locker room for a quickie every now and then but there will be a round 2 when you get back to your bedroom for sure.

M: motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Like I said, he loves you more than anything, literally anything you say or do would get him going. Say the word and Ben is yours and at your service.

Seeing you acting coy or feigning innocence when you’re purposefully turning him on (whether that’s by wearing his favourite sundresses or a new pair of lingerie he bought abroad, “accidentally” touching him through his pants, saying/texting something dirty in his ear while he’s supposed to be focused, list goes on) would arouse him too, especially since he gets to teach you a lesson.

N: no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

I expect him to be the jealous type, he wouldn't want to share you with anyone or have anyone else invited for your intimate time together. He wouldn't want to hurt you or do anything you were uncomfortable with; he'd put you first in everything.

o = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Loves to recieve, loves to give. When you're giving him head, he holds your hair back and wants to see your pretty eyes so badly, might allow you to play with your clit as you hollow out your cheeks for him. Gently asks you to try to take him all and loves hearing the lewd gagging noises as you try to deepthroat him when you hit the back of your throat. He loves having you suck his balls too or run your tongue over his tip and down the veins of his length. He genuinely sees stars when you're working away on him.

He loves to play with you when he gives you head. Teasing licks or humming as he eats you out just to send shivers down your spine. Uses his fingers and tongue to get you off. Once he's in a rhythm and is actually eating you out, he can't help but keep going which only makes you come undone over and over and over again. He thinks you’re delicious and loves watching you writhe for him and grip his curls.

p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

After tour, I think Ben would try to pace himself and make slow, deep love to you, once again trying to show you just how much he missed every single part and inch of you. Obviously, at a certain point, he'd lose his composure and his eagerness would get the better of him as he quickens his pace but he'd shower you with kisses while he does so.

After a frustrating game, he'd be fast and hold you close to him as he works at a relentless pace (nothing you wouldn't be able to handle, ofc). Lots of hair tugging, spanking, positions, marks and hickeys come with that too. He'd thank you and kiss you over your marks and hickeys after, gently massaging the skin he spanked and having lazy makeouts with you before you both find yourself falling asleep after all that.

q = quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Quickies with Ben would be frequent as he just can't help himself! Sometimes in the mornings before practice, you'd have lazy, sloppy, sweet morning sex that always put you to sleep right after.

Maybe even in between practice and his actual games - where he'd bend you over the sofa or the kitchen table, even prop you up against the shower wall when he's supposed to be focusing on the game ahead of him - whatever or wherever it was, those quickies would have you moaning his name in no time, he knew just how to work you right.

r = risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

I didn't want to mention the locker rooms or personal gyms in the quickie section because i was saving it for this hehe 😝. Ben wouldn't risk doing it if it meant someone would actually probably walk in, he'd only want to have sex with you if you were comfortable to and if it meant it would be uninterrupted.

I imagine Ben making you spread in front of him as you sit on a bench while he kneels to eat you out, covering your mouth or making you suck his fingers to stifle your noise, so you don't get caught.

I think if he was really into it, Ben might even go as far as to buying those remote control vibrators that he can control, just to watch you squirm for him in the stands during his matches or while you were out together for some errands. He'd only take it as far as you wanted to go, though ofc.

s= stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Well, I just watched Ben battle Fils for 3 hours straight at the Japan Open while getting his leg hurt - I think he's got plenty of stamina so long as you can take it. He'd always ask for "one more?" in the sweetest softest voice, especially after you spent time away from each other.

t= toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He'd love seeing how you squirm with vibrators and try buy cutesy toys like fluffy cuffs or a small pink handheld vibrator for you to use while on tour (and to use while on video call with him). I don't think Ben would know much about toys for himself, but if you brought the idea up, he'd try anything for you.

u = unfair (how much they like to tease)

LOVES to make you beg for just how much you want him. "Say please", "what do you want exactly? Use your words baby, I know you can", "You want more? beg for it", "look at me with those pretty eyes and ask. me. again". And he'd work you up so much, just to say no and watch you pout and beg even more. Ben loves to be in charge and on top, knowing you were in the palm of his hand (when really, he was wrapped around your finger).

v = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Not too loud, he groans and grunts in your ear and lets out a few gasps and curse words out alongside his mix of praise and degradation and i-love-yous. He's vocal with telling you what he wants or needs more of, what feels good and how you feel.

w = wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Loves, loves, LOVES you riding his thigh. He'll casually ask you to sit on his lap and watch a movie and both of you knew full well what was going to go down. Loves feeling you grinding desperately against his thigh and seeing you become a mess for a bit of friction. (I'm in the midst of writing smth about thigh riding just u wait 🤭)

x = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

If a picture paints a thousand words, look at the pics I've attached and look REAL close. He's called Big Ben for a reason babe.

y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

His sex drive is only on full blast for you. He's constantly hungry for more of you, can't get enough. Like I said, he's whipped for you.

z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He would hold you tight, make sure you're not hungry or thirsty or uncomfortable before you went to sleep. If something upset you, he'd make sure he understood and talked it out so he wouldn't ever do it again, you're his main priority in everything. If you were sore after, he'd apologise smiling (his ego and pride obv through the roof) and gently massage your thighs and hips, planting soft kisses on your forehead.

He'd hold you til you fell asleep and then he'd fall asleep almost immediately after, knowing you were happy and loved in his arms.

and now we go and pray after all this 🧎‍♀️😽

[mazzystar24]

i feel like im in the minority who don’t want eddie to have a slut era in general like… idk even without chris it feels so ooc for him to me, like i feel like he’s so far repressed at this point that if he didn’t wind up with buck he would end up just living the bachelor’s life…

and like i feel like that was the whole point of not having eddie and tommy be the couple this season was bc it wouldn’t make sense for eddie to step forward in that way unless it was buck… or at least that’s what i interpreted the initial decision to swap the storylines to be so maybe i’m wrong

i guess after six years i’m just tired of them dragging their feet and i’m sick of them giving them meaningless relationships with zero chemistry rather than just letting them be happy… and giving eddie a slut era would just feel like they’re rehashing buck 1.0 and i’m tired of them reusing plotlines they’ve already used for other characters (and even giving characters the same plotlines again)

like eddie can be gay without having a slut era and i kinda would like them to not play into the hypersexual queer stereotype since they’ve decided to do so w buck

One thing is 3am me is a gremlin and I don’t like her or her brain (that was the time I made that post) also she just likes to make fun of annoying people but so do I and I had seen TOO many posts talking about a straight slut era for Eddie so hence the chaos gremlin post

Normal me’s thoughts on this:

• the reason I don’t like slut era as gay Eddie canon for Eddie is like you said it’s a bit ooc but also imo like I feel like BECAUSE he’s so repressed it’d take a really meaningful and impactful relationship to give him the like motivation/push he needs to get him outta that closet (which was my same reasoning for why I was glad they didn’t do Eddie/tommy like they originally planned- cos buck just never realised it but Eddie like actively represses it and has much more like in depth reasons for it- like buck wasn’t so much in the closet as he just thought that was his room meanwhile Eddie is like in a super bolted chained Houdini level closet)

• I mentioned in the tags but I want to be FLABBERGASTED when buddie canon happens I want to let out an audible scream in shock and wake up my neighbours and realise it only after I get a noise complaint and if they make them both canonically queer it’d feel like a matter of time (funnily enough i said this but about making ONE of them queer when the bi buck rumours were going around and legit the next week or so we get 7x04 and I was right - true I didn’t anticipate bt fans and the fact that it doesn’t feel FULLY inevitable- but fingers crossed I am psychic again and we get gay Eddie)

• while I think the fact it’s so ooc would be interesting because like it’d show how Chris leaving is affecting him I feel like it’d also be a huge disservice to Eddie because his queer arc and experiences deserve better than like strangers and one night stands as a coping mechanism if you get me

• if I’m fully honest even if his queer arc doesn’t end up perfect I just want him to be canon like it wouldn’t be my ideal like honestly if they do a disservice to him I’d hate it but still I’d just take the win because gay Eddie deserves to be free from😔 like even with buck they kinda weren’t great with his arc but my joy at bi buck overpowers that

But yeah sick and tired buddie canon now Tim please😔💔

[chuckmaider]

Those F*cking Polaroids

So, I saw Dinner in America recently and I don't know what just happened but it occurred to me to do this.

If you saw the movie you'll understand and if you didn't see it it doesn't really matter and its not really necessary bcs only part of it is based on the movie.

English it's not much frist language, pls sorry for any kind of error.

The Riddler/Edward Nashton x obsessive! gn! reader

Summary: Reader meets Riddler while browsing the Internet and becomes obsessed with him and his plan to unmask the city, and... Maybe send some curious Polaroids after hacking his address.

Warnings/tags: Obsessive behavior, address hacking, a bit of humiliation kink (reader), tall reader (like 2 o 3 cm more than Ed) , weird reader, creepy reader, obsessive reader, a little bit of dom! Reader Sub! Eddie, Eddie is weird too, prob autistic reader(?) and I so sorry but this si so Out of Character Eddie (idk how to write him I'm sorry 😭), I feel like this is kinda boring so uhm at least the beginning es very boring but um it's very long too i think soo Im sorry idk, we need more insane reader

I met The Riddler when I saw a video of him on some strange Internet page that I was on, it was one of his first posts and the beginning of his...career. At first I was just curious about what he wanted to do, we both had a lot in common about what we thought of the city, both of us were abandoned and discarded by those who claimed to take care of us, to look out of us, to give us a better life. Over time I started to see him more, I made an account and saw him on his page, sometimes, very rarely, I would comment on my opinion about what he said, and he really seemed to notice me.

I can't really say when I started to obsess about him, I guess from first moment that I saw him, something happened to me and that's why I kept seeing him.

I felt something, I felt something, I felt something when I saw him, and I think that's what led me to... Take this further. I didn't feel much, not because I was insensitive, I could feel, but nothing was really that exciting or interesting to capture my attention enough to make me feel anything. I work in a coffee shop, it's small, but sometimes fun things happen with customers, but not enough to keep me amused or not bored for the rest of the day, but there's one customer in particular, who comes almost every day, asks for a cappuccino, a pumpkin pie and sits for hours with a notebook to write. Sometimes I keep looking at him longer than necessary, it's interesting to know what might be going through his head, or what things he'll be writing about.

I was sitting watching the news on the small TV in the cafeteria, it was just me and the usual customer, he was, as always, writing things in his notebook. They were talking something about the Mitchell boy, a guy running for mayor of the Gothic City, just like everyone making empty promises, talking shit and more shit.

"This is crap, he should kill himself quickly and then maybe there will be a real change in this fucking city” I whispered thinking that no one would hear me, I took the remote control and was going to change the channel, but a voice stopped me “wait, I want to listen” it was lucky that there was no more noise than the TV and a few cars passing outside, otherwise I wouldn't have heard the low voice that spoke. I turned to look at him and left the control at the inn “do you support that shit?” I asked him, he looked at me for a few seconds and shook his head “no, of course not, he should kill himself for real change” I looked at him for a few seconds, and without saying anything I gave him a small smile. We didn't talk again after that, a new customer arrived and the old one left, I kept my eye on him as he left, and I could see how he sent me one last look and continued on his way.

After work I returned home and prepared for what was coming, today The Riddler (as we called it) would be live at night and I wanted to see it, but I had some things planned to do first. I studied programming for two or three years, I didn't finish my degree thanks to my lack of money and motivation, but I learned enough things to be able to do what I was going to do. Some would call me immoral, sick, or maybe call me a crazy and obsessed freak, but I wasn't interested right now, it never did. I took my computer and started, went to his page and copied the link, continued to go to other forums, writing codes and finally after a good hour I was able to locate his address (or at least that of his computer), I must say that he was quite protected, it cost more than other times, but I succeeded. I smiled when I saw the small bright spot on the screen, which indicated the exact place where his (I assume) house was right now, I didn't plan to know his identity, of course, I wanted to know who he was, but my plans were different.

I put on my clothes, exactly like his, and waited for the live show to start. I took my Instant Camera and left it aside from the computer. As I listened to his voice I could feel my body starting to warm up, I twisted myself a little in my chair and kept looking at him. After 10 minutes, i was hot enough and I started. I lowered my hand and put it under my pants and underwear, let out a sigh and tilted my head back, continued stroking, rubbing and I felt my climax approach, I accelerated my movements and with my free hand I took the camera and took a photo at the time of my ejaculation, waited for the photo to come out and throw it aside, I took my shiny hand out with my cum and took another photo of it, making sure that it could see the computer with the live one.

As the live went on, my breathing calmed down and I smiled excitedly. I could still feel my face warm because of the blush and the moisture of the sweat on my body “this is for you, Riddler...” I thought as I watched the screen. At the end of the live, he said goodbye to everyone and I closed my computer, took a notebook and wrote the Letter I had planned to send him along with the Polaroids

𝘔𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘦𝘪𝘳𝘥, 𝘮𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵

𝘐 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦.

𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘻𝘺, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦.

𝘐 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶,

𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘶𝘯,

𝘴𝘰 𝘐 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦.

𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘢𝘧𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴,

𝘉𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸.

𝘖𝘯𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘸𝘦'𝘭𝘭 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘰𝘧𝘧.

𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘴 𝘐 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘯𝘰 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘬.

I kept the Letter together with the Polaroids in a dark green envelope, closed it and saved it for sending tomorrow.

This became part of my routine for months, I wrote him letters, sometimes poems, other times I told him about my day and other times I told him my ideas and plans that he could use to unmask the city. Watching one of his lives, I could notice at one point that he had some Polaroids stuck on the wall, they weren't noticeable enough, but I noticed them.

In those months, I began to talk more with the customer who frequented the cafeteria, his name was Edward, I was never good with names, but I could remember his. We were quite similar, and even if neither of us really talked about their private life or past, I could tell that we had common opinions and other similar tastes, such as music. We were both part of a religious choir, my family was extremely religious and they put me in a church choir, which I left one day, the day I escaped from them. Edward loves riddles and all that kind of thing, he's really good with numbers too, riddles stressed me out, but numbers and calculations always helped me, as did technology. Edward was intelligent, he knew a lot about a lot of things, I didn't, but I liked to hear him ramble and digress about everything he wanted, I liked to hear him and feel that he could teach me, or easily humiliate me in anything he wanted, I studied programming and yet he seemed much wiser on that subject than me

Over time, I started to have some new feelings, feelings for Edward, at first I thought they were friendly, for being my first friend in years i was just excited, but I noticed things, I started to notice too many things in him, and I couldn't help but want to be with him, not as a friend. One day when I asked him for his number, I picked up his phone and quickly installed software and connected it to mine, it had his location and I could see everything he was doing on it, and although I know that there's no justification, I thought “it's to protect him, it's quite naive...” or so I thought. I didn't spend all my time seeing what I was doing or if I was talking to someone (which I didn't really do, I didn't talk to anyone but me)

After work I used to follow him, a part of me couldn't really get to his house, but I always saw him, constantly. I was so enthralled with him, too much, that it started to become painful. Edward, My Edward, was too much for me, everything I felt for him. I started compare him with him, with the Riddler, and I realized things that maybe I shouldn't have done. Looking at his address, I finally noticed his house was in the exact place where the Riddler lived, but it couldn't be him right? Even so, he couldn't know him either, he told me he lived alone, and I know he didn't lie to me.

While I was still with Edward, I continued to fall in, his way of talking, of thinking, of moving, his way of living with others, his hair, his eyes, his lips, his glasses. Everything about him had me trapped, entangled in him, and I didn't want to leave. Obviously, I hadn't forgotten Riddler, but he was different, I couldn't see him or feel like Edward, yet I kept sending him letters and photos, I was still his faithful follower.

I needed to know, I needed to know if what I knew was true, if all these months of research and incredible stupidity had worked, and in fact, Edward is The Riddler.

I warned at work that I was sick so I wasn't, I knew that Edward was at work and that, if my theory was correct, no one would be home. I went up the emergency stairs and saw his apartment, it had white curtains and the window opened easily, I suppose that when we are together I could fix it to make it safer, any freak could come in and do who knows what things. I could see when I was already inside, a large mural with everything related to Batman, the Waynes and Gotham City, I had a small computer in the inn and it was all quite messy and dirty, and full of papers and notebooks. I heard the jingle of the cage that was on the other side of the room and I saw that there were some rats inside, very good Edward, I won't judge your hobbies but I really wouldn't like to live with rats. I saw what the bathroom was like and it was quite dirty, it had empty pill bottles and in the corner there were some dirty clothes. Whether I took a shirt or not is not important. Finally I ventured to what would be his room, and even though his whole apartment was shouting The Riddler at me, I needed one last confirmation, being someone's most private room, I assumed that if Edward really was who I thought he was, everything should be there. I opened the door slowly and the first thing I saw was the large green fabric with the question mark in the middle characteristic of Riddler's fund of his lives, my breath was cut short for a moment and I felt as if I could ejaculate right now. It was him, Edward was, Edward is, the Riddler.

Then I saw them, I saw all of them, the Polaroids, the photos that I sent him together with the letters, each and every one of them in a space on the wall, attached to one side of his bed, there were some separate ones, marked as Favorites, he kept them, he stuck them, he really had me on his wall without even knowing that it was me.

I stayed for at least fifteen more minutes in his room, until I decided it was time to go, not before leaving a small hidden camera, just in case. That same night I couldn't sleep, after watching Riddler's live and knowing who he really was behind that beautiful mask, it could be said that I enjoyed masturbating too much watching him, the Letter was quite intense, demonstrating my devotion and love for him like never before. The next day I was still quite shocked but I knew how to hide it, until Edward, the Riddler, My Edward arrived... When I saw him I became more nervous than I usually would, not out of fear, no, of course not, I was ecstatic, my face burned just thinking about him and having it in front of me it felt as if I had just opened an oven and all the heat would come from it. “Hello Edward, the-the usual?” I asked him, feeling how my voice trembled very slightly “yes, thank you” He told me and sat in the inn in front of me. While I was preparing his coffee and taking out the piece of pumpkin pie I could feel his gaze on my back, burning and burning so exquisitely, I loved to feel his attention on me even though I was almost always the one who had his attention on him all the time, not because he wouldn't pay attention to me, but mostly I let him talk, and I contributed everything I could, but I loved listening to him too much to interrupt him. “Here, your coffee and your pie, it goes around the house, you don't need to pay anything” I said as I handed him his coffee, Edward looked at me surprised “what? -No, it's not necessary..!” ireplied, My Edward is so thoughtful. ”Don't worry Eddie, nobody here cares too much” I tell him and let out a giggle, I look at his eyes and notice that he relaxes, smiles and thanks me, proceeding to drink his coffee and eat his pie.

“Edd, would you like to come to my house today?” I asked her suddenly, seeing the surprise in her eyes, I could see her plump cheeks turning red and I smiled internally when I saw her reaction “you-your house? - I-i don't wanna bother you" he said "you could never bother me Edd, all these months and you don't know it?"

“Sorry, yes, but Uhm.. I have - I have some things to do and I really don't think I can go, I'm sorry” I could notice the nervousness in his voice which made me smile and want to play with him a little more "Come on, they can wait a day” I could see how he frowns and tried to disguise his surprise “what-what? Th-they what?”

"The work, silly. That's why you have to go home right? I know your type of job and they always leave a lot to do even after you finish everything” I could see how he visibly relaxed and the tension was leaving his body. “Yes, I suppose it can wait a little...” he smiled shyly at me. I told him to wait for me for a while since my work ended at 7 (what was in about fifteen minutes)

We walked for about twenty minutes until I reached the door of my apartment, “you know Edward, I've wanted to tell you some things for quite some time, I want to” I start talking as I open the door of my house “I did my homework and I was really surprised by the result, you know?” I let out a laugh, i still don't look at him as I entered the corridor and I locked the door “just in case, there have been some robberies around here” I say calmly, he looked at me confused just a few steps away from me. I looked back at him and finally dropped the “I know who you are, I know you're the Riddler” bomb.

“Who are you?” He seriously asks me “don't worry Eddie” I smile mockingly “I won't do anything to you, nothing you don't want at least” Edward takes only two steps towards me but immediately retreats as I approach him “don't even try anything Eddie, it's my house, I know it better than anyone” I walk slowly to him seeing how he goes back to girls with the wall next to the door that leads to the living room. Being close enough to feel his breath on my face, I start talking, “you know, I dreamt about this more times than I should, but before it wasn't you, well, it was you, but I didn't know it. Fantasize about the Riddler more times than you have done about destroying the city and its corruption. Later, I met you, we start talking and I could obsess with someone with a real face and name, but then... They were never two people were they? Just two personalities, Edward and Riddler” as I spoke I could feel like all their attention was on me, our eyes never disconnected until I approached him and whispered softly in his ear “but between us, we both know what the real one is, right?” I returned to his eyes, and for the first time it was me who kept talking, all too excited confessing to him. I took his shoulders and guided him to the door next to him, turned him around and made sure that his back would rest on me and let his eyes see all of my room, where everything related to Riddler and Eddie was, each of the points I connected and some photos I took without him noticed it “after a quick visit to your dirty apartment, I was able to confirm every single thing you see there, the Riddler was, in fact, my Edward” I squeeze his shoulders, and my voice breaks slightly thanks to my head, supporting my head on his shoulder and looking at him sideways, seeing his reaction to everything, I smile more broadly, I could confidently say that It's going to hurts my cheeks if I went on like this more time. “You, little mouse, were the cause of my obsession for months, and not only the Riddler, but also like Edward and, I swear, finding out that they were always just you, everything increased at least a hundred times more” I walked up to him, now looking at me again “Edward, Edward Nashton” I put my hands on his blushed cheeks “everything you see there is for you, And more, all the insane things I've done since I met you I did them for and for you, I am completely yours from the moment I found you, and oh God, seeing how you kept and pasted those Polaroids that I sent you was like getting to heaven, seeing that you really saw me without even knowing who I was makes me squirm in my bed like a teenager in love. You didn't know it and you already missed me”

Eddie put his hands on my hands that supported his cheeks, and spoke for the first time in minutes “it was always you, the one with the Polaroids..? Were you always the one who wrote all those letters to me? For Riddler?” she asked softly looking into my eyes “of course it was me, of course it was always me, Eddie” I smiled at him big time. "You don't- you don't know how those Polaroids affected me, what they did to me... You don't know how much those Polaroids worked on me...” the intensity in his gaze could cross walls if he could, but in me it only pierced my heart “oh Eddie-” without being able to finish, I felt like Edward kissed me intensely, melting at his touch I let myself go, I felt his teeth hitting mine thanks to the hardness of the kiss, his tongue entered my mouth and with pleasure I let him do what he wanted with me, his hands came down from mine to my waist and they hugged me tightly, I let out a moan through the feeling, his mouth and mine, his lips and the Mine, his tongue and mine are twisting, Edward let out a moan when he felt my pelvis hit his, being able to feel his growing bulge in his pants.

I took his hands and slowly raised them up my body until I left them on my shoulders hugging them, instead I lowered mine and tucked them under his jacket and t-shirt, feeling their quality leather. I slowly went up and down my hands all over his torso, squeezing his skin on my hands, feeling like Eddie let out small gasps in the kiss.

After a hot session of kissing and touching as a result of an intense declaration of my love for him, we were lying on my bed, staring intently at each other without saying anything, too busy keeping every detail about each other to talk. “Edward” I call him in a whisper, getting a “hum?” on his part “this isn't a dream, is it?” I asked him, “if this is a dream, I wish I would never wake up” and he answered.

Hello! This is the first fic that I will publish here on Tumblr, I don't know if I make it constant but if you like the way I write (which I doubt because I myself feel that it is quite bad, especially since it's not in my language)

I feel like the ending goes by very quickly, I'm sorry it's 1am and ik tired, and I'm also sorry for the very likely OOC! Edward, I'm not very good at capturing the essence of a character already created unless I created it hehrjee I'm sorry

Even with all that, I hope that if you finished it and it didn't bored you, you liked it and you can make any suggestions and/or corrections to me, I don't know if I'm taking request or something, but you can still send them to me and I'll see if I could do them:)

[thegamingcatmom]

Guess who? Spoiler: me, its me and I come with a question(s) bc it is 3am and my mind can't shut up (:

So I think this was mentioned previously in another ask or post but I don't remember if it went much into detail. My question is about mates and separation. It is said (dont remember if canon said something about it) that vampires have a hard time being away from their mates and I would like to go deeper into this, know your thoughts on the matter.

Like, how bad it is? How long can they stay away from their mate? Is it minutes, hours, days? Is it painful, like physically? What do they feel, like I think despair, anxiety? Are there vampires who have a better time than others?

And finally how each sister individually is regarding this 'separation' situation? How clingy are they, if they are that is? How do they handle it? Do they call a lot? Text? (They know what phones are right? Ancient creatures they are :p)

Thanks as always for the answers❤️ (this is so long and i probs forgot something but i cant think so im gonna try to sleep xD)

Hiii! <3

Totally relatable! 3am has, unfortunately, become the time my brain works on overdrive as well. Which means I usually have to quit when I feel like I'm making actual progress, because I do need to sleep at some point. 😭

Right so, I think vampires defo have a hard time being away from their mates. I don't think it's actual pain in the sense of being "physical," but I reckon it very much feels like that for them.

I also think that, just like us humans, they have different ways of dealing with that pain. Some seek the company of their other coven members, some prefer to be alone, some (try to) play it cool and don't let anything show, and so on.

With that said, how long they´re able to stay away also varies and depends on multiple factors, I´d say. It´s not just their own personality and their way of dealing with things that plays into it, but also the cause of the separation. I think the latter plays a rather big part, actually. Like, if it´s for a "good" cause then it might be a lot easier for them to endure, I imagine.

...Y´know, this kinda reminds me of Carmen and El and the things I have planned for them in The Sisters, because separation might actually become a recurring theme for them (we see a snippet of that in the upcoming chapter.) I haven´t quite decided yet how far I wanna take it, but your ask kinda makes me wanna explore how Carmen might cope with a possible long-term separation. 💔🥺

As for what they´re feeling when separated from their mate:

JOKES ASIDE THOUGH-

Truly mated/bonded vampires (thinking of James and Victoria here cause I have my doubts about those two) are like fitting puzzle pieces, shaped to align perfectly with the other. If one breaks away, you won´t have a complete picture. Other puzzle pieces might fit with some force, but it will always result in a crooked picture because it´s just not meant to be.

With that said:

I think it´s agony. Like a part of you is missing. A big part. Like, half your body, to be precise.

As for the sisters:

(yes, they do know what phones are, lmao)

(...valid question though)

Tanya would probably cope best. Or, well, she´d be the most convincing at pretending she´s alright. She´s a leader and, in my head, that´s like its "own" personality. If the situation calls for it, a switch is flipped in her head - topdog leader mode activated.

Ofc, the separation from her mate is more of a personal challenge and probably her biggest one yet. Also because it´s one she´s never had to face before meeting MC. But I still think she would handle it a lot better than her sisters...at least on the outside. Like I said, it´s like a switch being flipped, a "mental shield," if you will. She will put on a brave face, act like nothing´s out of the ordinary. She will do her damn best to function, because that´s what she always does in times of hardship. It´s what leaders do.

It might not be the healthiest way to cope with things, but it´s what she knows and feels comfortable with.

…Besides, you can bet your ass there´ll be at least 50 calls, 30 FaceTimes, and 250 messages per day.

A good leader always stays on top of things.

Kate is a lot softer than she lets on, so I think she´d actually struggle the most with being separated from her mate. She would probs try and avoid her family for the most part. As a former warrior, the last thing she wants is to be seen as "weak." Like with Tanya, it´s not the healthiest way to cope with it, but there´s still this thinking that feelings get you killed on the battlefield, y´know? There´s just some things and habits we can´t shake, no matter how hard we try. Kate being reluctant to show any kind of "weakness" in front of others is one such habit. She´s gotten a lot better at allowing and showing those feelings since meeting MC for sure, but when MC´s gone? I imagine she´d be quick to fall back into that spiral.

So yeah, you´ll probs find her in the woods, sparring with the trees or smt to get her mind off things, to distract herself from the immense distress she´s feeling over her mate being gone.

As for contacting her mate:

Hm...I´m actually torn on that one. On one hand, you have the battle-hardened warrior who refuses to show feelings. On the other hand, you have the moonstruck sap who turns into mush the moment her mate is involved in any shape or form.

With that said:

Kate would struggle with exactly that, lol. Like, it´s a constant inner battle between who she was and who she has become since meeting MC. So I can imagine her sitting somewhere, glaring at her phone, doing her best to keep herself from typing in those damn numbers or writing out that stupid message because warriors don´t show "weakness."

...She caves, eventually. And both she and MC are damn glad she did, that lovable dork.

Irina would cope better than Kate, but her struggles would still be more obvious because she doesn´t usually hide her feelings like Kate does. On the contrary, she pretty much wears her heart on her sleeve, which is also why she´s the only one (out of the sisters) who feels 100% comfortable with confiding in others about how she feels. She usually goes to Carmen when she seeks comfort or guidance, like pretty much everyone else in the coven, lol. So, when it comes to dealing with that pain, I´d say Irina defo has the healthiest way of doing it.

She also has the healthiest call/message count btw, lmao. She´s not as overbearing as Tanya (nobody is, lel), and also not as stone-faced as Kate. She gives a quick call or leaves a heartfelt message here and there, just checking in, y´know? Sometimes they´re short and sweet, other times they´re literal novels in which she proclaims her undying love over and over and over and over and over and-

...I mean, there are times where she just...she gets carried away a bit, which usually ends with her dropping everything to go and seek out her mate.

...Her mate, who went to the supermarket for a quick errand.

I mean, listen-

In the end, I think it all comes down to why the sisters have been separated from MC. They´ll probs cope a lot better if they know the separation is short-lived.

...Or maybe not, lol. *points to Irina*

.

.

.

Thanks a lot for your ask! Always stoked when those pop up in my inbox. 💋

#keepthethirstalive #keepthedenalisalive

[ganondoodle]

this isnt a call out for anyone; i keep getting asked why i even post my opinions on the internet if i dont want to argue whenever i mention how tired i am of people trying to argue with me or proof me wrong

and i just ... for one its bc there are people that have told me they like hearing my opinions bc it makes them feel less alone, its validating to hear that i am not alone and i make them feel less alone (this is a big reason)

then theres the thing .. do you feel good never saying your opinion on anything and just keeping everything to yourself? be it big or small, i tried to do that for years, just trying to crawl deeper and deeper into a hole bc clearly i am the problem and should be able to deal with everything on my own, never say anything, i could be annoying, i could be a burden, and it nearly killed me; i have very few friends and i already spam them enough to feel constantly guilty

and if i did that on some private account ... what use is that, thats the same thing as not saying anything, whats the use of saying anything when no one listens, even to select few, whats the point if others cant find it, there might be people i dont know at all that would find solace in hearing my stupid ramblings about games

its true i lack self control and just tend to talk about stuff when i feel the need of talking, but is that really so bad?

correct me if im wrong but i was never of the impression that posting something on the internet automatically means wanting to debate and argue unless you specifically say or initiate it on someone elses post? like thats why i pretty much always make my own post to complain and dont go on other peoples posts of opposing views, id view the latter as an invitation to argue moreso than the former

when i post some stupid opinion (im talking about harmless personal video game opinions mind you) on my own account who am i bothering, if people agree thats great! if they dont they can just move on- i know people love to discuss and share different opinions but the the ones i most often encounter are ones where its a basically trying to start a fight over whos more right (like theres always one correct opinion to have) or just telling me i am not allowed to feel like i feel-

im aware i cant expect everyone to be able to see a differeing opinion and move on without saying anything, but when i say something, unless its specifically a question, i just do it to vent, to let my thoughts out so they dont slowly gnaw at me, maybe find validation in others also thinking like that (i know i cant also expect everyone to think that way .. i just see it as a form of politeness? sorta?); in all honesty, i dont do it to get told opposing opinions (i know thats maybe a little ... idk, selfish i guess?) bc i usually have seen or heard those already and am saying mine bc i havent seen it before or very very little- what i think is often very much not the majority so the need to say something gets greater the more i see somethign i dont agree with, like an urge to balance it? a call to see if i am alone or not? and much less so to argue or debate over something like that, im tired and exhausted at all times, and have often trouble even getting myself to draw, i dont enjoy fights of any kind, and especialyl so when its about something so completely ignorable like a game opinion i only said bc i wanted it out of my head and bc i have seen that the majority seems to be of a different one

like a sticky note on a wall, not an invitation to a political meeting?

maybe this is something i need to work on and get better at, i havent found a way that lets me get rid of my thoughts in a way that doesnt leave me feeling guilty (like spamming my friends) or to gnaw at me (not saying anything, or somewhere no ones gonna hear it)

i know im incapable of shutting up ever (though at least i got a better control over my emotions by now) and i risk accidentally seeming like im inviting people to a fight but i dont know what else to do

maybe its something i horribly missunderstood about the internet, but its my only outlet for that, i dont have anyone IRL to talk to about my interests, maybe its a flaw that needs work, maybe its just a flaw, i dont know :/

[clownmoontoon]

WAAUAUGHHGH HELLO FRIENDS ITS UPDATE TIME!!!!!

if you have or havent kept up w my talky posts lately heres a general rundown of all the things + an update! A LOT'S BEEN GOIN ON ALDKJASD

this is the promised more detailed break down of events, so feel free to scroll down to the end to get the TLDR!! <3

i realized thru therapy n talkin to friends/my sisters that my mother is an Abusive Gaslighting Narcissist (thank u therapist i love this title sm) and a whole lotta things in my life started making sense (like why i felt worthless/like a burden! my mom was actively trying to make me feel this way lol!!)

SO i reconnected w my sisters who i hadnt spoken to in ages bc i thought they hated me (guess why lol) and started keeping them updated win all the happenings that were happening! we agreed to keep our reconnection a secret from our mom for now, as it became clear she had tried to keep the three of us apart so she could guilt us separately for money and we wouldnt ask any questions if stories told to one didnt make sense with the other (none of them made sense LOL)

tho i tried to keep it on the dl it was hard to hide the fact that i was now aware abuse was happening, even if i didnt say anything i had p much decided to stop grovelling/begging for love/begging for respect bc i realized my mom was never gonna give me any of that no matter how much money i gave her ( in retrospect it sounds obvious when i put it like that but when youve been living it your whole life its quite a shock! :,o) ) so the lack of grovelling/paying for love started to make my mom quite angry and she started to escalate her abuse bc at this point none of us were giving her any money and she was aware i had money and was refusing to give it (i told her i had to save for one of my kitten's spay surgery, which was true, and the idea that i would use my money for anything other than giving to her made her veeerry angry) suddenly there wasnt enough money for food, not enough money for gas to drive me to work ( a less than 5 min drive vs a nearly 45 minute walk with no sidewalk along a busy road aa), etc u get the idea all the while my mom kept trying to guilt me for more money while always seeming to suddenly have the money when i kindly held my ground and refused to give anything (she kept buying her blonde hair dye, kept getting her car washed, buying JUST enough food for when she was in the house etc) in the end walking all that way was good bc the 5 min car ride was a lot more stressful and i was able to stop and get food on the way during this time i had talked w friends and my sisters about moving out, I REALLY WANTED TO, but no one could house me and my four cats and honestly i dont fault any of them for that, taking on a whole other person is a lot, much less someone w four cats no matter how well behaved they are ^^;

as my mom got angrier she made it clear how much of a burden i was now that i was saving my money, telling me the sooner i move out the better, threatening to call police if i dont leave etc (all very clear bluffs in hopes that id pay up out of fear, she refuses to admit she relies on me to take care of the house and her dogs) until one day i was taking notes on a class on my laptop and she walked in front of me and slammed my laptop shut and started ranting about why should i get to use the water or electricity etc essentially telling me i wouldnt be allowed to shower, take classes or do work until i started giving her all my money

also for those who dont know i wasnt living with her bc im a huge bum that loves mooching off my mom lmao we had an agreement, and she emphatically told me that i didnt need to pay to live there so long as i was working on my career and took care of my cats -> all things i continued to do despite it all lmao shes just very good at making me feel worthless enough that i give her all my money, i have no savings bc of this and didnt even realize why asdkl;jasd

ANYWAY one night she got angry enough that i genuinely felt scared, i had mentioned before that in my teens and early 20s i thought my mom was going to kill me and hadnt felt that way in some years til that night the look in her eyes was so ... dark? like immediately i felt "oh shes going to hurt me" she didnt, she just walked past me and didnt say anything but the look was there. i called both of my sisters the next day and told them that if anything happened to me to not believe our mom if she said it was an accident or that i did smth to myself etc and that 100% she did it and did it on purpose that was enough for my oldest sister who said suddenly during the call "what if i just come get you??" my oldest sister lives in virginia and i lived in ga which is a roughly 8 hour drive so i didnt think she'd really do that, and i reminded her i have 4 cats to which she responded "FUCK MY LANDLORD" LMAO she has a big house and told me theres plenty of room and tho the landlord said no more cats (she already has two and theyre registered as therapy animals) they hardly ever visit and always call first so we can do a quick hide or take the kitties for a ride or smth when they come

SOOOO SHE DROVE DOWN ON SUNDAY, STAYED IN A HOTEL, CAME MONDAY MORNING WHILE OUR MOM WAS AT WORK, HELPED PACK UP ALL MY STUFF INCLUDING MY KITTIES AND WE MADE OUR GREAT ESCAPE!!! \QUQ/

im mostly settled in my sister's house now and things are going great!! everyday im realizing just How Bad my mom's house was and it boggles my mind!!! ive never Not lived in an abusive home and finally being out is like!!! WHAT!!! it may sound small but just being able to wash my clothes and have food whenever im hungry is such a BIG DEAL to me and its just a given here and im rolling around like WHAT IS THIS LMAO ALSO MY CATS HAVE MADE THEMSELVES AT HOME AND ARE SO HAPPY AND COMFY AND THEY PLAY EVERYDAY AND ARE REALLY ENJOYING THE STAIRS BC THEYVE NEVER EXPERIENCED STAIRS BEFORE LMAO AND EVERYONE HERE LOVES TO PET AND CUDDLE THEM!!! \QUQ/ IM SO HAPPY!!! <3<3

TLDR: MY SISTER MOVED ME INTO HER BIG HOUSE IN VA W ALL 4 OF MY CATS AND THINGS ARE GOING GREAT \QUQ/

[dinsdjrn]

things that haven't happened yet | javier pena

javier pena x bottle girl!f!reader

summary: they kept everything professional, but some things change. [w.c 2.8k]

warnings: 18+, smut and angst, reader is an informant in danger, oral (f recieving), fingering, dirty talk, unprotected p in v, ambiguous ending ig (?) as always if i missed something lmk!

a/n: anyone else have the i can see you brain rot rn... bc i have 17 requests i could have written but this came out of me instead... please be gentle with it im... strugglin to post.

main masterlist

It was the early hours of the morning as you walked briskly through the streets after your shift. You kept your head down and all that you could hear was the soft rise and fall of your breathing. You weren’t walking fast enough to warrant heavy breathing, but you did carry information that made your chest rise and fall as if you had sprinted to the familiar apartment.

You rasped on the door three times, no answer. You knocked again, harder this time. 

It swung open and revealed a very tired Javier Peña.

“What the fu- what are you doing here?” 

“I’m sorry I didn’t call, but this can’t wait,” Your eyes shifted over your shoulder. 

He studied your face for a moment before bringing you in.

“And you’re sure the information is good?” He raised an eyebrow at you.

“As good as my life, Javier.” You let out a shaky breath. 

“Shit,” He spoke to himself. 

“I was the only one in there with Diego and Felix. They don’t trust any of the other girls,” You chuckled at the irony of everything. “They think they’re all sleeping with you.” 

“And you?” He said. 

“Nobody sees me as more than the bottle girl who won’t put out. I’m the only one that knows, and I know it’s information you can use. It’ll put a target on my back, so it would be a really great time for that visa you promised me.” 

He turned rubbing his hand across his chin and made his way to the phone against the wall. You shifted uncomfortably, knowing that if the DEA didn’t protect you this information could cost you your life. You were the only girl in the private booth, there was no other fly on the wall.

Javier was quiet about his conversation, he would turn back and look at you periodically. You were hopeful, but you weren’t stupid, if they couldn’t get you out you’d have to flee. An out with the US DEA is much more likely to result in life than fleeing through the Colombian jungle. 

“Okay, gracias,” Javier hung the phone up and walked to a drawer in the kitchen. 

He handed you a passport and envelope. You flipped open and saw your face but not your name.

“How long have you had this?” You asked, taken aback. 

“Not long, but we knew you would need it sooner rather than later.” He said. 

“Okay,” you said. “I guess it’s time to disappear.”

“We can book you on a flight tomorrow night, it gives you time to say goodbye to any family.”

“It’s just me, don’t have anyone to say goodbye to,” You laughed awkwardly, 

“I’m sorry,” he said, reaching toward you. 

“I’m a fly on the wall, Agent Peña. It’s easier not to have anyone, better to go unnoticed,” 

“You haven’t gone unnoticed,” He said, stepping closer to you. The air became thick and heavy with tension. 

“I should go, I don’t mix business with pleasure,” You said, placing the envelope of cash and your new passport in your bag. 

“As far as I’m concerned, we no longer have business with one another,” he smirked. 

You bit your lip, pondering the accusation. He was right, and it wasn’t like Javier Peña was a hard sell. He was gorgeous and he knew it. 

“I should pack, if I’m to make this flight,” You said, stepping toward him this time your hand coming to rest gently on his chest.

He gently tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear. The intensity of his gaze made you desperate to shy away, but he had a pull to him that made it impossible. 

“There’s a lot of things you should do,” he emphasized, “But stay, please. Just for tonight,” He spoke softly. 

His hand drifted down your neck to your collarbone where he brushed the strap of your black tank top off your shoulder. 

“Javier, I’m nobody. I-,” you paused, “I’m going to disappear.” 

“You’ve always been somebody to me, hermosa,” he kissed your shoulder where your tank top had previously rested. 

“Since the moment I met you, I knew you were more than what you gave yourself,” He spoke. 

Before you had time to respond he gently nipped at your neck eliciting a soft gasp from you. 

“Tell me stop,” He spoke seriously as he continued to leave a trail of kisses down your neck and shoulder. 

“Javier,” you hesitated, sounding more like a question than a warning. 

“If you don’t want to do this, you need to tell me to stop,” he looked at your face again trying to decipher any hint of fear or regret. 

His large hand held your jaw gently and his thumb slowly rubbed your cheek. He was comforting and reassuring. It almost felt wrong for the stone cold DEA agent, Javier Peña, to be looking at you with soft eyes and affectionate touches. 

You leaned up toward him, your lips were so close to his you could feel his breath against yours. 

“Don’t. Don’t stop,”  

And that was all he needed before his lips encapsulated yours in an all encompassing kiss. It was a kiss that spoke all the words Javi couldn’t. Passion, lust, and remorse for the situation he put you in. 

Your mouths moved against one another as if you had been starved of kisses your whole lives. Javier gently bit your bottom lip causing a soft moan to escape you. 

Your soft moan ignited something within him. He pulled away from the kiss, his hands gripping tightly at your waist and he forcefully turned your back to him. He pushed you toward the wall and you placed your hands against it. 

His hands pulled your hips into his own, grinding himself against your ass. 

“Ah, fuck,” He groaned, “Baby you are so fucking hot,” 

“Javi,” you sighed.

His hands had begun to work your tank top away from your skirt they explored under the thin material and up your back unclasping your bra. He crouched slightly gripping your hips again and kissed your back. His hands dragged your shirt up your sides once again, stopping just below your breast. You swear you heard him inhale sharply, you arched your back slightly knowing you would grind against the strained package in his jeans. 

He growled at the sensation pulling your shirt and bra over your head and throwing across the room.

He flipped you around again, pressing your back to the wall, and pushing himself against you. You wrapped your arms around the back of his neck and legs around his hips. He used one hand to grip your thigh tightly holding you up. This caused your skirt to ride up your thighs and your panties to be directly against Javi’s jeans. You could feel his cock painfully hard pushing against the material and there was too much fabric between you. 

Before you had a chance to say anything Javier’s lips found yours again, this time more lustful, passionate and messy than before. Your tongue danced with his as you brought your hands to his chest to make quick work of his button up. He let go of your leg and you gently brought your feet to the floor as you pushed the cotton t-shirt off his shoulders.

You took a second to drink him in as you began to work on his belt. He was lean and tan, and looked like the devil himself with his hair tossed and chest rising and falling heavily. 

As you unbuttoned his jeans, he brought his hands to your breasts massaging your nipples into hard peaks. 

He had brought his mouth to your nipple gently swirling it around his tongue before dragging his teeth across it. You whimpered at the sensation, head falling back against the wall and hips bucking toward him. He made sure to give the same attention and care to the other nipple before slowly kissing down your belly. 

“Fuck Javi, on your knees,” you instructed breathlessly. 

He sank onto his knees, his hands gripping the backs of your thighs pushing your skirt up to reveal your soaking panties. 

“Fuck baby, so ready for me,” he inhaled before kissing the small article of clothing. 

His fingers hooked on either side of the lace waistband pulling them down your legs. Once they reached your ankles you kicked them off anxiously awaiting Javi’s mouth to find your pussy. 

He kissed up your thighs and slowly licked the space where the inside of your thigh met your hip. you raised one leg over his shoulder, spreading yourself for him. He used his tongue to lick between your folds up until he found your clit. 

Your knees were weak and he held you against the wall. Working his tongue over your sensitive bundle of nerves. You felt the pressure building in your lower abdomen and you knew you wouldn’t last long. 

Strings of moans, curses, and Javier’s name fell from your lips as you began to come undone. 

“Fuck, shi-,” you cursed as Javi’s fingers began toying with your opening. 

“So fucking wet for me baby,” He praised.

“You want my hands too, princesa?” He put his lips against you again gently sucking your clit. 

“I’m no princess, Javier,” you said as you ran your hands through his hair. 

“Hmm, you didn’t answer the question,” he pulled away from you momentarily, rubbing his hands up and down your thighs. 

“Fuck me with your fingers, Javi. And quit being such a teasing asshole,” You tugged his hair back toward you. 

“You have no idea how big an asshole I can be, princessa,” he teased, immediately pushing two fingers inside you before you could respond. 

You gasped at the sensation, he shrugged your leg off his shoulder and stood up, still pumping his fingers inside you curling them exactly where you needed to be sent into a fit of whimpers and moans. His thumb found your clit circling with just enough pressure to push you to the edge. His mouth found your neck nipping and sucking at your most sensitive spot just behind your ear. 

“Javi, babe, so close,” You panted. 

“Don’t be shy, come on my fingers. Tell me how good you feel, hermosa,” Javi spoke roughly in your ear. 

“Fuck, so fucking good Javier,” you mewled and with that your first orgasm came crashing over you. Whimpers and moans spilled from you as the waves of pleasure coursed through you. 

Javier brought his fingers to his mouth and sucked on them before bringing his thumb to your lips. 

“You are so fucking special, I wish we had done this sooner,” He sighed. 

“You should never mix business with pleasure, Agent Pena,” You spoke softly. 

“Yes, we are keeping it very fucking professional,” He spoke before kissing you again. He gripped your thigh just below your ass and you kissed him back feverishly. 

Your hands moved just below the waist band of Javi’s jeans again, this time pushing them down over his ass. He broke the kiss to push them down the rest of the way and remove them. Leaving you both in nearly nothing. 

He pulled you toward the couch guiding you between kisses. He sat down on the leather couch and you drank him in all over again. The way his legs lazily spread apart making him even broader. His arms reached for you. 

“You can have a seat if you’d like,” He said gently tugging your waist toward him. 

You pulled back slightly, “I will, but first we need to make sure you’re comfortable,” 

He hummed in response. You kneeled before him, kissing his thighs and nipping at them slightly. 

Your hands tugged at the waistband of his briefs and he lifted his hips slightly so that they would be more easily removed. His cock sprung free onto his stomach, the tip reddened and leaking precum. You knew he must’ve been painful strained in his jeans. 

You stood in front of him and hiked your skirt above your waist as you brought your thighs to either side of his hips. You slowly began to grind onto his cock nothing in the way to feel how hard he was against you. His hips bucked to meet yours. 

“Let me fuck you, I want see you bounce on my cock,” He said clearly unable to contain himself. 

“Please,” you begged. 

You slowly raised yourself again, positioning him at your entrance. You slowly brought your hips down to meet his, you both groaned at the sensation. He was big and full and began slowly rocking his hips against yours. 

His hands found their way around your back. One on your lower back to steady you, the other gripping your shoulder. you slowly began to rise and fall against him, riding him back and forth. 

“Jesus, fuck- so fucking tight,” He groaned. 

“So fucking perfect for me, princessa,” he continued. 

His hips began to thrust to meet yours as moans and the slapping of skin filled the room. You both were blissed out on the feeling of his cock ramming into your pussy, it was addicting the sounds coming from him. 

With every thrust his hips dragged across your clit, bringing you even closer to your orgasm. His mouth found your breast once again gently nipping and sucking on the sensitive skin surrounding your nipple as you bounced. 

His thrusts became more erratic as you went and you knew that neither of you were going to last much longer. 

“Javier, fuck, so close. So so good baby,” You whimpered.

“Waited so fucking long for you,” He mumbled. “Needed to see you, know you.” 

You brought your lips to his neck, changing the angle slightly. Javi was ramming into you now, both of you quickly coming undone. 

Your orgasm washed over you first as you groaned and cried Javier’s name. 

“Oh fuck gonna-“ He said pulling out of you, gripping his cock. Quickly coming on your skirt and his own hand.

His hip bucked a few more times and his face twisted and he let out a few moans. 

You collapsed onto his chest and he began gently stroking your back. You were both hot and sticky but your post orgasmic bliss took over. Neither of you made any rush to move or speak for nearly ten minutes. Your mind raced with the possibility of tomorrow 

“Thank you, Javier. Just for everything,” you whispered, tears welling in your eyes at the finality of everything. 

“Hm. Your thank you is starting to sound an awful lot like goodbye,” 

“Javi,” You whispered an edge to your tone. You pushed yourself off him. 

“I think we should clean up,” you sighed and made your way down the hall to the bathroom. 

Javier followed suit, neither of you said anything as you rinsed your legs and skirt off. You sighed frustrated as your skirt was now damp and you would have to wear it home. 

“I have something you can wear home,” he said while he washed his hands. 

“Uh Javi- it’s okay,” your words fell over one another. 

“You could also just stay here,” He said, reaching for you. 

“You and I both know that’s not going to happen,” You took his hand in yours and gave him a soft kiss on his cheek. 

“We could protect you here. I won’t let them touch you, I just fuck-“ he ran a hand through his hair.

You didn’t know much about Javier but you knew he could be soft with those he cared about and he was always soft with you. You knew he could be an asshole, but he had losses not many could understand. 

“You and I both know that’s not possible,” You kissed his hand. 

“I’m going to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder. You’ll be here bringing Colombia back to peace, and I will be another notch in your playbook,” You let go of his hand and made your way back to the living room. 

You grabbed your discarded bra and tank top slipping them back on. Javier joined you in the living room a few moments later, now clad in sweatpants and holding a pair out for you. 

“Thanks,” You smiled at him, slipping your skirt off and the soft sweats on. 

“Hey, uh- before you go,” Javi shifted slightly, clearly uncomfortable. 

You looked up at him. 

“Just, when you get somewhere safe. Find a way to let me know, ok?” He said holding out a small note card with an address scribbled on it. 

You smiled at him sighing.

“Goodbye Javi,” You kissed his cheek and brushed past him to the door. 

It hurt knowing you were leaving your home. And as the warm air of the Colombian night hit you for what may be the last time, you realized, you finally had someone to say goodbye to.

tags: @skysmiller @beskarandblasters @harriedandharassed @cupofjoel @darkroastjoel @tightjeansjavi @morning-star-joy @sinsofsummers @cavillscurls @thetriumphantpanda & will be tagging main taglist just wanna get this posted!!