#literally ignore this im just using tumblr as my personal acne terror feedback loop for another minute
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#lee’s bullshit#literally ignore this im just using tumblr as my personal acne terror feedback loop for another minute#I have a derm appt tmrw w a new person and im j so scared they’re going to put me on accutane#like it’s very evident that since coming back from school my skin has looked Considerably Worse and it’s very disheartening#and my mom and sister are both advocating for accutane since it worked well in the end for my sister to clear hers up#but like. I’m genuinely terrified abt the side effects esp the mental ones bc almost everyone I’ve asked was like yeah I was way unstable#while on it. And tbh I don’t need to add more instability and depression into the brain slop when it’s just finally started working well.#and like it’s just so intense on your body as well like idk.#she also was saying it in such a shitty way I guess. Like ‘oh since ur not an athlete it won’t be as bad’ ‘ur not in the sun like me’#k im working outside in the sun on my feet for two months of the summer. what.#‘the aches won’t be as bad’ i already have chronic scoliosis pain. I don’t need to add more into that.#it’s just shitty.#but also like I was looking through old photos to see if I could track progress and 1 idk if I rlly could it’s hard I take bad photos and#2 it’s been bad since college started !#like all of my pre first year photos ?? skin is so clear. even in covid w my mask acne it looked so much better than it does now.#so it’s also disheartening to see how good it was vs is now.#and I do wish it was better obviously like im not happy w it. but also it isn’t worth all of that.#just frustrating you know. im still kinda surprised how good it was. so annoying.#like literally first move in day i noticed the jaw acne appearing and its not rlly there before then ? so idk what the deal is man. :(#anyway :( will update tmrw post appt
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