#i guess im back on tumblr for now
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2015 vs 2025🥺🥺🥺
#2015#2025#10 years ago#tatinof#terrible influence tour#dan and phil#dan howell#phil lester#danisnotonfire#amazing phil#the amazing tour is not on fire#dan and phil terrible influence#terrible influence dnp#dnp#dnptit#dnp tour#tit tour#tit cardiff#i guess im back on tumblr for now#🥺🥺🥺#cat whiskers#dnp merch#dnp m&g#dnp meet and greet
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guess what show I binge watched last weekend and now am unhealthily obsessed with
#succession#tomgreg#kendall roy#logan roy#roman roy#shiv roy#erio stuff#uhhhh im back bc idk whats going on w/ twt#i just want somewhere to post low stakes unserious art ty#i have old art i havent posted but honestly idk if i'll ever post them#i guess my tumblr is just gonna b my trash pile from now on haha#erio art
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✦🌹 Wild Rose 🌹✦ ============ PRINTS
#Jujutsu Kaisen#jjk#呪術廻戦#Nobara kugisaki#nobara#I STARTED DRAWING THIS 2021 BRUH#i got inspired by so many trigun artists on twt that motivated me to draw#and guess what i finished it for fucking 2 days .....#now im thinking if i'll draw the other characters?#gojo and geto i think suit this style#anyway im back on my art nouveau esque shenanigans#digital art#Illustration#Fanart#artists on tumblr#my art
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My oc again rrrrrr BUTTTT work fit..
yeah
He is a professor that teaches human English to the monsters 😵 BUUT also!! He! Invents stuff in a workshop inside grennitch’s island head (WHIICH ACTUALLY THIS IDEA PRE DATED ETHEREAL WORKSHOP so flex)
#my singing monsters#msm#msm oc#wubbox#wubbox oc#epic wubbox#plant island epic wubbox#This is an art reupload from a while back so now that I’m using tumblr I will just dump sm art im proud of here I Guess..
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preparation
#i don't feel particularly strong about them now but back then i REALLY REALLY want to pair them together#they/them hunters#i think i just dragged my ideas about them for too long tbh i even wanted them to fu#i. i mean. have fun. hunting#why do i wanna draw r34 for literally every character i see what the actual fuck#oh i know why#ramble time#i fucked up my meeting and i am even more depressed than ever and i was struggling between drawing more tyrael r34 or finish this sketch#idk if i'll spam drawing later but theres one thing i know#im gonna buy fried chicken for night snack#thats it this is tumblr tbh i should've been complaining about my life on plurk instead#okay i guess i already did that this whole fucking day but apparently that's not enough#i have zero stress resistance#apex legends#apex bloodhound#bloodhound#bloodhound apex#borderlands 3#fl4k#borderlands fl4k#my art
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Skin accurate helsknight isn't real he cant hurt you..
Skin accurate helsknight:
Bro who is that 😟 the only helsknight I know is my bbg (and some other fanon designs.. some of you have some real bangers) (also tiny cube helsknight that i drew in the corner.. i want to give him a little smooch)
#art#artists on tumblr#jaloparker art#hermitblr#hermitcraft#hermitcraft fanart#helsknight#helsknight fanart#oc art#lore accurate helsknight#he scares me#tiny cube helsknight is very cutesy though#im going to put tiny cube helsknight in the hydraulic press#i learned the basics of blockbench i kinda wanna sculpt tiny cube helsknight now..#hhhhhhh my local library has a 3d printer too....#i could have a physical version of tiny cube helsknight...#i might have to do that now..#the only problem is that i dont have the charger for my laptop at the time of writing this post (sep 8th)#so ill just have to suffer until i get my charger back i guess 😔#at least i have traditional art still..#ill have my charger back by the time this posts so maybe ill have made him by then#we'll see
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@steddie-week day 1: Hunger | 1.1k words cw: light angst in that Steve is a little sad/dealing with some mental stuff but like hurt/comfort (not EDs which mental stuff combined with the prompt word might make it seem like, hunger is used as a metaphor)
Sometimes Steve doesn’t talk to anyone for days. He just shuts himself in his room and hides, barely leaves his bed. Pretends he doesn’t exist, or that time has stopped and he’s the only thing that exists.
Sometimes, he’ll go back too soon, feel bad for the ignored calls and drag himself out of bed to see the people who matter most to him. But it won’t feel warm and soft those times. He’ll be too raw and It’ll feel like they’re grabbing his insides and eating them. Pulling his heart and brain out of his body and devouring them without letting him eat theirs in return.
Usually, he’s okay with that. He knows his place, he knows that’s what he’s for. For other people to get fed. And he’s happy to feed, to do that for them.
He loves them, of course he’s gonna give himself over. It’s just that sometimes they take too much. They don’t know they do he thinks, they don’t know they’re eating him alive. That he’s presenting himself on a silver platter and letting them take take take, and that sometimes they take too much.
That’s why he disappears, so he can grow back. So he can give more. Because if he stops giving he's afraid they’ll get tired. He won’t be useful, he can’t give when he’s like that. He starts craving, he starts wanting. He feels starved and wants to take and feed too, and that’s not part of the deal. He’s not supposed to eat, he’s supposed to be eaten. So when he turns hungry and ravenous he hides, he isolates.
Robin is the only one who truly gets this about him, who doesn’t take and demand. She gently accepts the things he gives and never without giving too, forcing him to stay whole. It’s overwhelming and sometimes he has to hide from that too, he doesn’t know how to deal with the force of it. He’s so used to the constant hunger it’s a shock when it’s gone but he’s gotten better. And anyway, he and Robin are part of one whole so whatever is given or taken between them is never really gone. It stays with both of them.
Robin is the only one, or she was the only one he should say. Because now there’s Eddie. Eddie who gives and gives and gives, almost as much as he does. But who doesn’t seem to dwindle and dim like Steve does. Who doesn’t seem to starve or hunger. Eddie who notices when Steve does, when he stumbles and gets greedy. Who holds him up and makes him whole with a look, a touch, a word.
Eddie who breaks in through his window when he shuts himself in his big empty house and lays with him in his bed, softly telling Steve stories and running his fingers through his hair.
It’s wonderful.
It's the worst.
“I’m afraid you’re gonna end up as empty as me,” Steve tells him, whispers it into the dark. “That you’re here now and you’re giving and I’m taking and you’re gonna be the one left with nothing.”
Eddie doesn’t respond immediately but hums in acknowledgment, lets him know he heard and is thinking.
“This is good for me too,” he says eventually, “being with you and resting. Getting to be here for you when you never used to let anyone but Robin be. It’s good for me too.”
“It can be good and still drain you.” Says Steve, knows it to be true. He doesn’t resent giving the way he does, he loves it, it’s good. It drains him.
“Yeah,” Eddie agrees, “this doesn’t drain me, you’re comforting me too. It’s balanced.”
Balanced. That’s what Robin tells him too. That’s what Nancy sometimes asked him for when they dated and he couldn’t let her see the cracks. That’s what he wonders about with his other friends.
He doesn’t usually know how to do that. He doesn’t know where the lines are. He doesn’t understand how Eddie knows.
“You let me give, and I let you give, so it’s balanced. We don’t take from each other, we gift and we receive. It’s balanced. You have to let other people give sometimes too, Steve.”
It hits something deep in him, the last words. He knows this, he doesn’t want to know it.
“I’m afraid they won’t. if I open myself up to it. If I ask, I’m afraid they won’t.” He says it so quietly it’s almost inaudible but Eddie hears.
His hands still in Steve’s hair for a moment before moving again, gently scratching his scalp.
“I know baby. But that’s not fair, they want to give too. If they knew how much they took without giving back they’d be heartbroken. It’s not fair to you or them.”
Steve lets Eddies words wash over him, he knows he’s right. They’d be nauseous with it. His sweet wonderful friends and family would be crushed.
“Sometimes it will happen, maybe,” Eddie continues when Steve doesn’t respond beyond a sharp breath in. “Sometimes people won’t know how to give after only getting but you gotta let them try. Sometimes they’ll learn and adjust, sometimes they won’t and you’ll have to deal with that. But you can’t starve yourself like this because you won’t let them try.”
"What if I take too much?"
"Then they talk to you, like you should talk to them."
“When did you get so wise,” Steve snorts, his voice is tight but he makes the effort, tries to lighten the mood. Deflects, like he always does.
Eddie lets him, a little, knows Steve has to. But he’s still serious when he answers.
“Wayne is like a never-ending well of insight and digging around in everything, never lets me get away with shit.”
The opposite of Steve’s parents who were the first to take from him and never give, never look into his eyes and tell him to eat.
“He’s a good guy,” Steve tells Eddie instead of weighing him down more than he already has. Instead of acknowledging and relieving the hunger pang that strikes him at the thought. Even now, here, he doesn’t know how.
“Yeah,” Eddie agrees. “I’m here to relay his wisdom, like playing telephone with whatever stuff he teaches me. The things your parents took away from you.”
Eddie still knows, of course, he does. He always knows.
“And what do you get?” Steve has to ask.
“I get you. I get everything.”
Steve smiles, turns around to kiss Eddie. He doesn’t feel empty when Eddie kisses him back, hungry. When he takes and devours.
#i didn't think i was gonna be able to do steddie week becuase it crept up on me and i haven't kept up#and i wasn't gonna post this but like i wrote this in like 40 minutes in a haze and then went on tumblr and saw one of the#prompts for day 1 was hunger and i had literally just written this thing where i used hunger as a metaphor so i went back and reread it#and did some edits and now im posting it#which well i usually stick to humor in my writing so this is always scary but here we are#this is so different from what i usually post but this is also representative of like 70% of my notes app i just dont share#this kind of writing but fuck it i guess#my writing#dels steddie thoughts#steddieweek2023#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie#stranger things#steddie fic#steddie week
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ARTFIGHT #4, MANAGED TO GET IT BEFORE IT ENDED WHEW BOY. I honestly didn't expect to be able to get this done but sudden post of energy and motivation near the deadlines made me make a piece I'm actually very happy with.
if not obvious i had fun with the brushes.
Characters are Xewka and Liv
Extra WIPs:
fun fact about the second one! I was planning to leave it only at that since I genuinely didn't think I would've completed it! :0 who would've guessed slowing down a little makes it feel more doable ahaha.
#serinscalling#my art#artfight 2024#Xewka's owner has a tumblr but im too scared to ping em soooo... shhh....#it's fine everything's fine#honestly i like#gave up multiple times in this drawing#rly didn't expect it to get finished#like from the thumbnail my brain was like “ugh maybe i shouldn't do this”#and then i did the outline of half of Xewka then like “mmm maybe this should be enough i dont wanna keep going”#and then i did the post/building and was like “i dont have a bug character for the idea i had and i dont wanna look”#and basically repetitive of “this is good enough ig” throughout the entire thing#but legit made something im happy with at the end anyways just because my mom told me to slow down and go back to it lol#who would've guessed that one advice paid off anyways with a time limit!#im done now#im gonna go draw Uriel now since they rly are my comfort character at this point#in which ty khean for making such a comfy character
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My vampire Percy!!!! I love him so much!!
#oc art#oc#my ocs#vtm oc#vtm art#vampire#is it true that tumblr doesnt have an algorithm?? I guess Im testing it now with back to back posts haha
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im so infinitely stressed rn i need to get off here
#camera talks#fuckkk#sighhhghsghg#sorry yall im like. on the verge of tears#this is genuinely like. the start of like 'the rest of my life' year and its. not looking like a good 4 years at all#i have to change my gender marker on my license back (safety. my states not red but its not Good either) and like.#i was already planning to at this point but its hitting me how much it meant to me to have that piece of me be like. known ? ig??#and i feel lucky that my name is already legally changed and its a fairly neutral to masc name so i think im fine#but like. do i really have to go into my job field like this? will i have to not be trans for the first 'real' steps of my life?#im fucking. upset#and im so so angry#i dont feel like i can look to HRT or surgery in my future rn#and i Know we're going to get through this#but like. im so tired of being unknown and hidden but its not like i can do anything about it now or ever anyways#like im already misgendered all the time so it doesn't Matter i guess#and very little people know of my relationships in the grand scheme of things so i guess im just going to keep keeping those hidden ish#but i dont Want to ! i want to be proudly queer and in love because i Am !! so like augh i dont know#im just so so upset#being queer is Me and i hate having to hide this part of myself for so fucking long#no wonder i related to old queers writing and stuff. augh. im thinking about them a lot. lots of them got through this#lots of them had lives they were proud of for the most part and i just hope i get that too#and im not even good at passing as cis or straight i dont think#like. im not going to try to that badly but as much as i dont pass for transsexual im easy to clock as weird gender#and fucked up mentally ill and aughghh#i dont even want to think about not getting mental health and disability resources#okay whatever im logging off or at least shutting down tumblr now#im just scared and worried i guess. i dont know#fuck
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Don't you just wanna boop it's snout? Cmon you do! You totally do, it's a requirement now. Boop the snout!
#boop#tumblr boops#boop o meter#boopoween#i love sharks#sea life#sharks#marine life#sea#ocean creatures#ocean life#ocean#halloween#taxidermy#taxidermied shark#might have spelled that wrong whoops#ANYWAYS GUESS WHO'S BACK!!#not explaining why its been so long#but im gonn probably post a bit better now#shark.photo
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parents are funny the way they want you to be open and honest with them, supposedly, but when you are, it leads to some fucking confrontation that didn’t need to happen, and when that happens, it leads to something you weren’t ready to say coming out, then being coaxed out into a still very much controlled held-back version of describing your lifelong experience feeling shame for existing the way you do and not being “easy” or as good as like, your little sister, academically, or as capable of masking as anyone else, and THAT carefully worded recall of just the natural fucking feelings of growing up in a frankly abusive household, resulting in.. oh, sorry, YOUR FATHER crying as if he wasnt just trying to gaslight you into thinking he didnt tell you the other day to Improve Yourself As A Person (right before the conversation about his mother entering hospice so now guess who can’t fucking mourn without associating it with that!) and that he instead was saying Improve Your Situation
and then he like catches you like visibly dissociating, comments, you try and put it in very simple words what just happened (in the same manner you have pointed out every other little thing he does to invalidate your feelings, or as he’d put it, “your feelings” yes using air quotes) and he suddenly is a fucking Psychology Scholar And Didn’t Need You To Explain What The Defense Mechanism Even Was and oh then also admitting to doing harm in the past, saying he had apologized (wonder why i dont remember), your mother(actual psychology minor) getting all “i’m sorry you feel that way” and also after a long ass tangent about there being a difference between “shamed” and “ashamed” as if you didn’t mean the word you say, a thing you did make very clear, ONCE AGAIN FUCKING CRYING ABOUT YOU BEING OPEN AND HONEST FOR ONCE AND TELLING THEM THEY HURT YOU
#its been. a wild fucking semester so far#oh and then also my fucking brother saying it’s like he doesnt have a sibling and i dont give a shit Sooo Much that i made my father cry#respectfully i fucking held the thing that would actually ruin him back.#because i did a fucking interview with his mother years ago for a class#and she talked about the way her mother treated her#when he first found out i was like. violently depressed as a teen#he drew the mental parallel of his mother getting hospitalized#for shit her fuckinf mother caused.#he cannot comprehend the pain he causes.#by all means my morher can comprehend what she does. she just. does she give a shit actually? lol#i feel for him. right now. in his grief process#but the fucking audacity to see me exercising autonomy and telling them they fucking traumatized me basically#AND COLLECTIVELY CONTINUINF TO USE THE FUCKING ABUSE TACTICS#im sure he was crying genuinely. but if i cry it is never genuine to them it feels#so.#yeah.#i havent been on tumblr i had a experiment thing for a class on social media breaks even though. lol. mental health? isolation??#but like. i think just the process of realizing wwwwhy we are the way we are#so immensely fucked up#its been a lot#its just. fucking sad i got forced into THIS conversation prematurely#but my fucking bad for trusting my mother i guess#vent#vent tw#anyway i was gonna push therapy back a week but. oooooooooweeeeee
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everytime im like "man why tf do people even follow me" i remember that most of you are just here for my stupid ocs *flails hands around Roo and Leo too ig*, another chunk of you are here for my renders, and a few of you are either here because you like the shit i reblog or you followed me during the boopening
#i guess the ppl who are here for my stupid ocs are also here for Hero. Nirvana. Ithuriel and Nanel and whoever else exists/has existed#but im pretty sure its majority Roo enjoyers which is fine <:)#and then theres prolly one or two of you that forgot i exist#its okay i still appreciate all of you no matter what content you followed me for - i esp. appreciate all the friends ive made <:)#eventually i will find my way back into simblr. but for now i am kinda just existing on the line between simblr and the rest of tumblr#yapping
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I just got this rare disease called "terminal courtney brain rot" so I drew K standing next to her again ( sorry)
I want them to be friends 🥺. Also this is for future reference if I ever draw them together again.
#pokemon#pkm#oras#khoailag's oc#team magma#magma admin courtney#khoailag's art#im so sorry for being crunge#actually no cuz tumblr is cringe but like whatever#imma crawl back into my pit now thanks for tolerating me i guess
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i just wanna thank all u guys for following me over here bc im still going thru the feeling of devastation over my main blog 😭 </3 but i know i would feel so much worse if i were going thru it alone and nobody knew what happened to me. so it means a lot
#💾#ive remade of my own volition before and it sucked bc sooo many people never followed me back LMAO#but im glad most of my mutuals are over here to watch me liveblog my breakdowns. some things never changed#im just sad and confused bc i wanted to make gifs today but now i feel like :( oh#and theres so many gifsets on my old blog i was super proud of#but i guess if i dont hear anything back at the end of the week ill start rb'ing stuff to archive it...#and see if i can at least free my url from purgatory because having lucaanis sniped is such a huge blow to me#it seems silly but im already attached to being tumblr user lucaanis 😭🖤💜 he became a comfort character so fast#today has been. a day
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signing up for phannie twitter in a trench coat was not on my to do list today but i need y’all to know this is just for the enrichment like sure I guess but tumblr is my number one girl and so are all of you on here <3
#i literally had to stop myself from using twitter years ago when I was active in phandom spaces bc it was distracting me#from school and stuff so much#and kinda just became a lurker instead of participant in social media phandom spaces after 2016#and there’s something different about phannie tumblr im really glad to be here as a long time lurker but#post hiatus poster#it has brought me so much happiness and enrichment and friendship and yeah my screen time is back to debilitating levels but#i don’t really feel bad about it anymore like I have a handle on it but what else am I doing yknow lmfao#adding another twitter adjacent form of social media#is just reminding me of that and making me think about my social media use but#again I literally just spend all my time on here and that’s just another phannie space too so#it’s chill for now I guess just know that this is my main space always#bc I can simaltaneously feel cool and like a loser on here I love it there’s no expectations on this hellsite yk#also yapping in the tags is my favourite activity#blossoms.txt
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