#and guess what i finished it for fucking 2 days .....

[congratufuckyoulations]

Frick u Dressrosa pt.2

!!!!! HEAVY DRESSROSA SPOLIERS!!!!! READ PT.1 FIRST

Part 1

strawhats x reader kinda. a lil bit of zoro x reader. a lil sanji x reader, idk, WE SHALL SEE WHERE THIS LEADS.

A/N- This author note is me on my last limb fr. Pulling my writing passion from my literal ass rn. It's hard to write and let yourself go into a fantasty world when the world is fucked up. BUTT AYEEEE I FINISHED THIS PART AND THIS MY FANTASY SO ENJOY FRRR. I hope you're all doing well. You guy's are my babies i deeply love yall thank yew

Devil fruit power- Plant related. Imagine any other person with plant powers I guess? You can grow walls made from plants. Use plants to attack. I wanna say you could even grow plants used for medicines or sum idk.

The sword below is as random design I got off Pinterest so credit is far gone sorry😔. I don't know if you will use it this chapter, but it's a good reference to have for the future.

Tw- smoking, mature content??, some what graphic description not really tho

Sorry for any grammar errors

You and Zoro sit in the underground hideout underneath the Flower field with a bunch of tiny people from the Tontatta tribe. The trip here felt endless in the heat of the sun. You stand next to Zoro as he watches Luffy fight on the screen. The Tontatta tribe suddenly gets loud with cheers

"The commander!" One shouts

"We've waited so long! We're glad you finally made it!" Another yells

Turning your body around facing the stairs seeing Franky descending them with a small toy soldier on his shoulder. Who then salutes to the tiny people below him cheering

"Thank you! At ease!" He orders them and continues to speak with Franky but you can't quite here. As you walk closer, Franky speaks up

"Super! You made it Y/N!" Franky says, as his eyes find your figure

"Yeah, no thanks to that idiot" You grumble, head motioning to the swordsman behind you yelling at the screen with the blue-haired fairy on his head

"Damn, Luffy, get it together!" Zoro shouts looking at the fight, his fist clenched

"After everything it took to get you this far! Since when do you have time to stop and watch the fight! Ahh! You're such a big, dumb stupidhead!" you hear Wicka shout before turning your head back to Franky

"That's the fairy that took Zoro swords. She's the one who brought us here. Turns out these little guys want to take down Doflamingo. Does that not sound crazy?" You wince out, a hand finding your temple

"Say what?!" Franky yelps head tilting to the side

"They're more of a threat than you might think, my friend. They move so fast they're almost invisible." The toy soldier speaks up, confirming that they will be attacking Doflamingo as well

"Ahhh! Commander!" You heard Wicka yell from the side. Realizing her higher-up was now in the same room as her

"Huh? You're here, too?" Zoro says looking at Franky

"I'm just as surprised to see you too, buddy," Franky replies

"Commander! We've already reviewed the intel from the scouting unit!" A tiny person shouts

"We know everything that sugar and the enemy have been up to, sir! And, as it turns out, just in time for our big confrontation with Doflamingo." the purple-haired fairy yells

"Also! Some legendary heroes have appeared in our kingdom, and they're going to help us fight!" the other shouts again, pulling out a sheet of paper "Uh, their names are Usoland and Robiland! They're on their way here as we speak! And they've got a whole group of friends here with them, too! Let's see. It says their names are Luffyland, Zoroland, Namiland, Sanland, Chopperland, Y/Nland, Fraland, and Boneland!" the small guy shouts.

"Sounds like Usopp" You, Franky, and Zoro collectively thought. Zoro scratches the side of his head before he speaks up

"Eh, okay, I'm Zoroland, I guess" He says while holding up his hand

"I'm the famous Fraland, here to save the day" Frank raises his hand

"And I'm Y/Nland, to the rescue" You raise your hand. Playing along with the "legendary hero" act we had going on.

"WOW, THATS GREAT!" The tiny people shout, their small hands covering their mouths in excitement

"So naive," The trio says at the gullible fairies

"Uh! I don't have time for this! I have to get back to the Sunny before it's too late!" Zoro shouts, reminding you your crew is in danger

"I have been saying that this whole time!" Wicka shouts pulling at the side of Zoro's face

"Hm? The Sunny?" Franky questions while looking down at the two of you. Zoro getting ready to take off as you quickly grab ahold of his arm

"NOT SO FAST!" You shout, punching the swordsman in the head causing him to crouch down on the floor beside you as you start talking

"Listen, Franky. The Sunny and the crew are in danger! Doflamingo knew our plan this whole time. It seems the situation is more dangerous than we thought. There's no time to talk we have to go help them" You explain the situation quickly. You loved Franky dearly knowing you could put your full trust in the man. Knowing he will take your word seriously. Helping the crew in any way he could. The shipwright's hard work never goes unnoticed

"I understand, Y/N. I'll wait here for Robin and Usopp" Franky replies

"Thank god for you, Franky" You coo, your eyes shut close for a second. Letting a soft breath of air come out, finally being able to relax for a quick second. Your shoulders drop, knowing the rest of your crew will be informed about the danger of the situation. The New World was serious. And Dressrosa was nothing like the islands in the Grandline

"Alright! Let's go Zoro!" You say, shooting back up into your straight posture. Pulling the swordsman onto his feet. Dragging him up the stairs winding upward

"Wait for me!" Wicka shouts, flying close behind on a pink bee

Just like before you and Zoro are stuck running down the hot streets of Dressrosa. The only sound you could hear was you and Zoros pants mixing, both trying to catch some air. Your footsteps are almost in sync as they hit the path below.

"Hey, we're about to take a left turn up ahead. If you don't remember Zoroland, left is the side you don't carry your swords on!" Wicka shouts, already picking on the swordsman

"You think I'm too stupid to know right from left?!" he shouts

"Yep!" She grins. The fairy had a death wish if you asked me. But I guess she does have the strength to back her up. You and Wicka take a left, Zoro soon catching up as he went the wrong way as predicted

"You're not about to fight just anybody. It's one of Don Quixote's executives. Her name is Giolla! Her powers turn people and objects into weird paintings! It'll be hard to beat her!" Wicka states

"You really know your stuff, don't you" Zoro says

"She works with Doflamingo. I memorized as many of the family's names, faces, and abilities as I could! Especially those three." Her face morphing from worried to serious "The top-ranked executives who wiped out Dressrosa's army ten years ago! Trebol! Diamante! And the big guy, Pica! Those are three faces I'll never forget" She tells us

"It's a good thing we are on your side," You say, slightly intimated by the tiny girl and her knowledge of her enemies who've now become yours as well

"Wait, ten years ago? But you're a kid!" Zoro questions

"No, I'm 27" Wicka side-eyes the man. Well, there goes the thought of wanting to baby the tiny woman. It would be a little weird now that you thought about it. Wicka was a grown woman, just tiny. That didn't mean you couldn't gush about how cute she was here and there

"Huh? How's that possible?" Zoro says as we come to an intersection of streets. You take a left hearing Wicka shout behind you

"I said left!" She yells, Zoro and the fairy catching back up to you again. A familiar voice shouts as a figure up ahead waves a hand in your direction.

This song is a an automatic yes in this scene. It is in Spanish so its up to you whether you would like to search up the lyrics or not. Even if you don't want to translate them I think the song itself is good and has a way of making you feeling sum typa way😛 the song is so heartfelt and the lyrics are sad low-key but 😇

"Sir Zoro! We meet again!" Kin'emon shouts

"Y/N, you're okay!" Sanji says while running up to you

"Who are those people? They don't look to bright" Wicka says, looking at you and Zoro

"Allow me to introduce you to Dumb-land and Dumber-land" Zoro grunts at the sights of the duo

Sanji comes up to you grabbing your hands with his. Checking your body to make sure there aren't any injuries. The four of you quickly move into the alleyway to avoid being seen. As Zoro and Kin'emon talk for a second you look at Sanji

"How was your date" You tease, slightly leaning in and wiggling your eyebrows at the chef

"Wonderful-" He stops before he finishes realizing who he is talking to. Snapping out of his daze, he lets out a shy smile rubbing the back of his neck with his hand "Sorry about leaving you with that idiot back there" He apologizes. Your hand rests on his forearm giving him a light squeeze

"You're good Sanji. Somebody has to watch over him" You smile, your hand dropping from his arm

"Just from now on, no more messing around. The situation here in Dressrosa has gotten more dangerous than we'd like" You say, speaking toward Zoro and Kin'emon who have now started to listen. You let Zoro explain how we retrieved his sword along with finding out Doflamingos workers were going to attack the Sunny

"Whoa, really? So you two were on your way to save Nami? That's why she didn't pick up the Snail! I knew I sensed a damsel in distress. All right, I'm coming with you" Sanji says.

"Classic Sanji" You sigh

"But wait, Sir Sanji! We have vital information to give to Sir Luffy! We mustn't abandon that!" Kin'emon says, his hands raised in front of his chest trying to reason with Sanji

"There you are!" A woman shouts causing you all to turn seeing a girl peaking coming out from a small entrance. Sanji is soon spinning toward the lady in his tornado form

"Oh! Violet, my sweet!" Sanji says while approaching her, grabbing both her hands and bringing them close. You wanted to roll your eyes at the nickname he threw around so casually. Brushing off the weird feeling brewing at the bottom of your stomach at the sight of Sanji holding onto the girl's hand from earlier

"Listen, Black Leg, your ship's been hijacked by my colleague, Giolla! And they're making their way to Green bit now" She says

"Hold on, who is she? How does she know that?" You say, confused about how the performer knew this information

"This is Violet. And she's in danger as well" he explains, Zoro scoffs before speaking up

"That kinda crap's gonna get you kiled, idiot" Zoro says

"Shut it moss head!" Sanji shouts. Quickly changing his emotions back to flirty as he addresses you

"Why so curious? Are you jealous, mon amour" He teases

"THAT'S SO NOT THE PROBLEM RIGHT NOW!" You shout, your fist planting itself right on top of his head. Drawing your arm back you look to the side pissed off at the antics this guy was playing

"And I hate that stupid beard on you" You say, causing the swordsman next to you let out a loud laugh

"You just hate it because it covers my handsome face!" He teases getting closer to your face. Soon his face was covered by Zoro's hand as he shoves the cook out of your face

"We don't have time, we need to help the crew" Zoro says

"Well I was more worried about Nami long before you ever were! And if she wants anyone to come save her, it's definitely me! So you let me handle this!" Sanji says

"Fine, whatever" Zoro brushes off Sanji, before walking to Kin'emon who was toward the exit of the alleyway. Sanji leans on the wall next to you. Both of you getting a small break before having to run around again. The blonde takes out a cigarette from his pocket lighting it up and taking a drag. You speak up between the silence

"You were right, Sanji." You say

"About?" he replies, turning his head to look at you with the smoke from his cigarette flowing from his mouth.

"The beard," You say while circling your finger a few inches in front of his face. Motioning to the beard he wore. He laughs while handing you the cigarette watching you take a drag. Heat running up his neck thinking about how you just swapped saliva

"I know," he says with a wide smile on his face, as he accepts the cigarette back. You chuckle at the blonde's response.

"Alright, don't let it go to your head" You reply

"Too late!" He jokes, bumping his shoulder into yours. Sanjis's smile was always genuine. The blonde was radiant and he shined on those around him. He bathed people he didn't know in his endless love and kindness. It didn't matter who you were. He was always aware of everybody around him. Ever since you met the cook he has always been selfless. You enjoyed seeing Sanji happy. The cook never feels the need to hide his emotions. Feeling your lips curve into a smile at the man in front of you

"You're adorable" You laugh out as you push yourself off the wall and you turn to walk towards Zoro and Kin'emon

"Though I would say Zoro looks cute as well!" You tease, a hand over your mouth like a middle school girl with her first crush

"Yeah right," Sanji grumbles pushing himself off the wall and following closely behind. Turning your head over your shoulder you glance back at the blonde

"Be safe, Sanji" you say, a small smile on your face

"You as well, my dear~" Sanji said as his hand lightly brushes against your lower back. As he parts away from you, heading over to Violet. The warmth of his hands slowly fading away

Your head follows the blonde in his silly disguise. Smiling at the sight of the blonde helping the girl onto the toy horse. It's a scene straight from a fairy tale book. Looking away from the sight back to your group

Meeting Zoros eyes as you turn your head. The light from above made his eyes visible through his sunglasses. You were sure he could see your eyes too

Freezing at the sudden shock. Staring back awkwardly at the man. Moving your eyes to look at anything besides Zoro. Looking back at the man to see if he was still looking. He definitely caught you staring at Sanji with another girl. Letting out a light laugh before you spoke

"What?" You say

The green-haired man stayed silent. Letting his eyes do the talking as he looked from you over to where Sanji just was. You turn your head to the now empty spot. Looking back at Zoro again

"What was that about?" Zoro questions lowly

"Nothing" you reply looking around awkwardly. Shrugging your shoulders at the man

"Yeah, sure" he says, shaking his head

"Let's go, Kin" Zoro says to the samurai as they walk in front of you onto the path. Jogging to catch up to Zoro you began to explain yourself

"Just happy for him, that's all." You say looking up at the guy next to you

"I believe you" His tone was monotone as ever. Not convincing you at all

"Sure you do" You mutter, you walk next to the guy for a moment before continuing "He's living his dream. Can't I be happy for a friend?" You say in a light tone

"Yeah, but what about you?" Zoro says as he looks back down at you. Only staring in silence letting the question sink in. Honestly, you weren't putting much thought into it. And you weren't gonna do it now. The question did cause you to go silent though

"Sir Zoro. Miss Y/N. What are you two talking about?" Kin'emon chimes in

"Nothing let's find this coliseum" You hurry words out of your mouth. Trying to distract the samurai from digging any further into whatever is going on. Heat rises up your neck. Embarrassment nestling its way down into your stomach

You stand between the two men looking at the coliseum in front of you. The sound of cheers could be heard over the tall structure. The window-like holes in the structure closed off with some metal bars. You stand there debating on how you will reach Luffy

"So. Any ideas how we reach him?" Zoro speaks up

"If I knew, do you think we would be standing here with our arms folded?" Kin'emon answers

"I can't come up with anything" you say from between them

"The place has been completely sealed off. And I don't see anyone to let us in. We should also avoid suspicion, since I was nearly arrested earlier." Kin'emon announces to the two of you

"Cool, so I'll just cut down the wall?" Zoro says in a casual tone

"I said be discreet!" Kin'emon shouts basically into your left ear. The man trying to shout at the man beside you

"I'll do it quietly?" Zoro sasses back

"Boy! That's not the point!" Kin'emon shouts. You quickly push the man out of your space. Scolding the elder man for being childish in the current situation

"Get away from me! And stop yelling!" You whisper-yell at Kin'mon pointing an accusing finger like a mother scolding her child. The man quickly straightened his act at the sight of the angry girl

“My apologies, Miss Y/N!” Kin’emon replies quickly bowing in apology

"So, not quietly" Zoro continues picking at the man causing you to snap at him as well

"Enough! From you too Zoro. We gotta figure out how to get inside" you say, doing your best to get the two men to focus right now

"Yeah, I said not to attract attention" Kin'emon says

"What are you even sayi-" You spoke only to be cut off by Zoro

"Just tell me how you want to cut it down," He says. Causing the two men to start arguing all over again. God, I should've just gone back to the Sunny with Sanji. Surely fighting would be better than being stuck with these two idiots. A loud cry erupting from the coliseum catches the group's attention.

Looking up at the second floor you see a green-haired guy with tears streaming down his face. Snot dripping from his nose with a gold septum

"I love you, Zoro! You too Y/N!" the man shouts, before crying some more. Who was this man and why does he love you and Zoro? You couldn't place your finger on what was going on in your current position

"Do you know that man?" Kin'emon questions from beside you

"I don't think so?" You say in a tone like you were questioning if you know this guy or not

"Thankfully I don't either" Zoro utters in distraught at the sight. A sweat bead dripped down the side of his face. The cries soon die down and the situation you're in settles back in.

"Maybe he knows were Luffy is. Chances are he knows Luffy if he knows us" You suggest

"Excellent thinking Miss Y/N!" Kin'emon praises at the suggestion

"You're right" Zoro replies before cuffing a hand over his mouth as he begins to shout

"Don't run away yet! There's somethin' important I gotta ask you! Hey! I'm talking to you on the second floor! I know you're up there! Say something! What gives? Can't you hear me?! I see you" He shouts

"Maybe a little quieter, Zoro," You say, looking around slightly getting cautious knowing marines were in the area

"It's fine" He replies before shouting again "Hey!" the three of you get nothing in return until you hear a shout. But it wasn't directed towards the group. It was more of a statement from the odd man

"These tears of joy shall flow until the end of time!" He shouts with his back towards us. The man shoots his arms into the air in a cheering motion. Before he quickly starts taking peaks out the window at your group. Wow, you thought this place couldn't get any more odd

"Are we certain this is a coliseum and not some sort of asylum?" Kin'emon says. Earning a shrug from you as Zoro starts to yell again

"All right. I don't know who you are, but can you tell us if there's another way into the coliseum here? All the entrances I can find are closed up!" Zoro calls out. The green-haired man only sputtering nonsense

"I'm so glad I became a pirate! I can die happy!" He shouts

"What is he talkin' about?" Zoro mutters in disbelief

"He's definitely interesting," You say lowly raising an eyebrow at the man in front of you. Standing with your arms crossed as you plot your next move

"Perhaps those bars are to keep him away from the public" Kin'emon suggest, making you laugh a little

"Shut up! Calm down and listen! Is there a door?" Zoro questions, the man snapping out of his crying fit as he answers

"I wish you coulda been in the stands to see his match! There wasn't one fighter here that could lay a hand on Mister Luffy!" He says while more tears stream down his face. Voice wavering with tears

"Wait a moment! First he can tell who you two are by sight alone, and now it appears he knows Luffy, too?" Kin'emon says

"Seems that way. I wonder how he knows the three of us" You mention earning a hum from Zoro. Looking at the man close to the bars of the coliseum. He was practically ugly crying at the sight of you and Zoro

"Who is this man, and how was he able to discern your identities through your flawless disguises?" the samurai questions once again

"Yeah, I know, right?" Zoro agrees as we all stare at the strange man

"V-V-V-Vice Captain!" The rooster headed man cries

"Huh? Vice Caprain? You're not talking to me, are you?" Zoro questions the sound of confusion seeping through his voice

"Yeah, you're Mister Zoro, aren't you? Mister Luffy's right-hand man. And you're Miss Y/N! I'd know you anywhere" He says

"Uh, you would?" Zoro's questions seeming a bit creeped out. You didn't know how to feel in this situation. Knowing you and your crew had bounties, you didn't think news would even reach the new world. Let alone have a fanbase. I mean you guys are pirates

"So it appears your disguises have failed you two" the samurai speaks from your side. The comment causes you to look away from the man in front of you

"Wouldn't that just be YOUR fault" You defend yourself as you side eye the man. Zoro clears his throat a hand covering his mouth as he speaks up

"Whoever this Zoro guy is, uh, I'm not him!" Zoro yells in a semi-deeper voice failing at trying to disguise his voice

"That's not fooling him, he already knows who we are," You say elbowing the swordsman in his ribs at the dumb attempt

"You don't have to put up a front with me! Don't worry, I know everything that's been goin' on with youse guys. Mister Luffy fightin' in the tournament. All that stuff" The man shouts from inside the coliseum

"What?!" Zoro shouts. The green-haired man soon starts breaking down into tears again. Water flowing from his eyes like fountains

"Hey, man! Stop crying! How do you know this" You shout to the man who continues to cry ignoring your shouts. Feeling slightly frustrated at the hold-up

"What's got you so upset?" Kin'emon questions

"Whatever, weirdo. Tell me why you know so much about us and Luffy" Zoro demands. The man stops crying and you can hear him sniffling trying to stop himself from crying further.

"Ugh, so pathetic. He can't even answer!"

The male attempted to talk as he kept sniffling and wiping his eyes. His cheeks flushed red and you swear you could see sparkles in his eyes from your lower level. The man choking on his words causes Zoro to yell at him

"Suck it up!" He shouts, which makes the guy tighten up. Only to smile like an idiot with stars in his eyes only seconds later. It was like he enjoyed being yelled at by Zoro. The man looked like he was in paradise. Wiping his eyes once more he braces his hands on the stone of the coliseums cutout-like window

"Could I have your autographs?!" The man shouts. Autograph? This man really was a fan. This was starting to make you feel good about yourself and you felt your posture straighten at the ego boost

"What?" Zoro replies

"If I bring Mister Luffy to ya, then will you give me your autographs?" He shouts as he sticks his head through the bars. Zoro looks to you and the samurai for reassurance

"I mean do we have another choice?" you say. Zoro looks backs up shouting again

"It'd be a big help if you did!" he yells. The man inside the coliseum almost flew back as the tears once again took over

"What is this guy's problem?" Kin'emon says

"Well, come on, hop to it!" Zoro order

"O... O... O... "The rooster head stutters

"O-O-O, What?!" Zoro picks at the man trying to finish off his sentence. Whom quickly replies to the swordsman

"On my way! Wait right there! I'll bring Mister Luffy back here if it kills me!" He grunts before speeding off away leaving a cloud of dust flying behind him

"It's not that serious" Zoro utters to himself

"Leave him be, at least he is doing something" You shut Zoro down earning a glare from the man "What? He seems to really admire you" You smile at the swordsman who only turns away ignoring your teasing grin. Knowing the swordsman will back down from your teasing

Standing with the men you wait around hoping the odd man wasn't lying about knowing Luffy. Hearing a gasp your head snaps to the sight of Luffy running towards the window by you on the first floor. The group jogs over

"Y/N! Hey! Zoro! Yo, Kin'emon!" The boy laughs, eyes closing as his laughter echos through the empty like halls "Hey! You needed to talk to me? I'm up here you guys!" He calls out, now waving a hand over his head to catch our attention. The trio coming to stop infront of the window

"Hey Luffy! You seem to be holding up well" You praise your captain

"I know! You should've seen me fightin' Y/N!" the boy gushes as he holds leans closer to the bars blocking the window. Your captain punching the air in front of him. Jabbing at the air. Zoro silenced the boys joking

"Luffy!" Zoro warns

"Shh, shh!" Kin'emon hushes

"Stop yelling so loud, would ya? Somebody's gonna find us out!" Zoro shouts. His voice was even louder than his captains. Causing the people passing by to turn their heads and gasp. Not again. Why do these guys have to be so obvious

"Shh, Shh! You, too!" Kin'emon shouts

"Oh, sorry! I was just happy to see you!" Luffy says. Well when your captain says adorable things like that it's hard to stay mad at the boy. A smile growing on your face as you shout back up to Luffy

"We are happy to see you too Luffy!" You reply giving the boy a reassuring smile

"We?" Zoro mutters, earning a smack on the back of the head from you. The man turning toward you with a scowl drawn on his face.

"JEEZ WOMEN I WAS JOKING!" He shouts in your ear. Which you ignore as you look at Kin'emon who speaks dismissing the two he was paired with

"Ah, so you met with that green-haired man? I was somewhat reticent about trusting him at first, but he seemed quite eager to offer his assistance to us." Kine'mon says

"Where is he now?" Zoro questions

"I dunno, he just like passed out, or something." Luffy explains

"Passed out? What is wrong with that guy?!" Zoro thinks out loud

"Beats me" Luffy replies

"Either ways, he ended up being a huge help" You defend the strange man. Luffys head suddenly snaps to the side. Something next to him catching his attention

"Is there something there, Luffy?!" You shout concerned

"Nah, nothing. Anyways, it's like a maze in here, you guys. I keep getting lost!" He complains shaking his head in disapproval

"So? What'd you need me for?" Luffy continues

"First off. There's a tournament going on and you didn't even tell me! I wanna fight, too, you know!" Zoro argues

"Oops. Sorry." Luffy giggles out a quick apology

"I've been running around town like a damm fool! While you're having fun!" Zoro points out

"Now, now, that's not what we came here for, Sir Zoro." Kin'emon tries to cool down the green-haired man

"Besides there's more serious topics to discuss, Sir Zoro" You argued as you're starting to get impatient with how much time is currently being wasted arguing over a tournament. A transponder snail ringing can be heard as you look over at the taller man

"Am I using this snail correctly?" Kin'emon says while examining the small snail in his palm

"What're you trying to do" Zoro questions from your side

"Sir Sanji requested that I call him once we found Sir Luffy" he replies

"I see. Oh, and Luffy!" Zoro calls out earning a confused-sounding hum from the boy "The coliseum is surrounded by Marines, by the way!" he explained. Your captain only picked his nose in response leading the samurai beside you to irrupt into a nervous sweat

"That was our big news and you don't even care?" Kin'emon shouts at your captain. The transponder snail answers amongst all the commotion

"This is the Sunny here!" Sanjis coarse voice

"Hey, Sanji, it's me!" Luffy shouts making sure his voice is heard through the snail

"Hi, Luffy!" Nami's voice breaks through making you smile at the sound of it

"Nami! I'm glad you're all safe now. Good work Sanji!" You praise knowing you could rely on Sanji to help out the crew, especially when Nami was involved

"Thanks, my sweet~" Sanji replies before he says some things to the crew. Not paying much attention as your stomach does flip at the nickname. The sound of Momonosuke fighting with somebody in the background pulls you from your daydreaming. Knowing your crew better it was probably Brook tormenting the boy

"This is Usopp! Hey!" A voice joins in the chatter from the snail

"We're missing Law, but he can catch up with the news later, I'm sure. Okay, you guys. It's Sanji! We've got Nami, Chopper, Brook, and Momonosuke here. And Caesar, I guess. Give us a status update, please." Sanjis voice orders. The cook sure knew how to take control when times got serious. Like Usopp mentioned in Punk Hazard Sanji just looked like a reliable person that you could count on to get you out of anything

"Right, this is Kin'emon. I'm with Sir Luffy, Sir Zoro, and Miss Y/N as well in front of the Coliseum," he states. Usopp began to talk only to get cut off by Franky. The cyborg taking over the call confirms that he, Robin, and Usopp are together

"Okay, check this out. We made some friends. Guys that call themselves the King Riku Army, sworn enemies of Doflamingo" Frany informs the rest of the crew

"An army?" Sanji asked in a curious tone

"Of little people" Franky continued

"Really?" Luffy chimed in. Eyes lighting up at the idea of tiny people

"Anyway, Luffy, here's the thing. You remember that Toy Soldier dude we met in front of the coliseum earlier?" the cyborg asked

"Uh-huh. But about the little people!" Luffy urges Franky to tell him more

"It turns out that Toy is the commander of this here army." a serious tone painted Franky's tone.

"Of the little people?" Luffy questions again

"Yeah. And the thing is, this army is planning on taking down Doflamingo, like pronto. Today even." Franky's voice grows louder the more he talks.

"Hold on. Hey! I heard something about that Soldier!" Getting confused hums from your group as you look up at Luffy "Earlier, Rebecca said she wants to stop him! Don't do it! Tell the army to wait!" Luffy ordered his eyebrows coming down as they furrowed with determination to stop the little people.

"Not a chance! We need to do the exact opposite of that! So wait, you said you talked to Rebecca?" Franky asked. Leading Luffy to explain how he met the girl. Buying Luffy lunch when he couldn't afford it in the coliseum. Your captain explaining how he wants to help out Rebecca too

"Luffy. I'm sorry. But I don't think I can follow Traffy's plan" The cyborgs stern voice cutting through the silence. Mulitples gasp heard across the lines as the crew took in his words

"Whoa, Franky, where'd that come from?" Usopp's worried voice could be heard

"Let me lay this out how I remember it. We're supposed to destroy the SMILE factory, but then we keep Doflamingo around to use against Kaido? Nah, man. It just ain't fair" The man going into a speech how there are other people who want to take down Doflamingo too "Luffy! I think you're a great captain and all, but...I gotta fight!" Franky ends off his monolouge

You look from the snail up to Luffy. His face set serious with his arms crossed. You could see the wheels moving inside the boy's head. A frown set in place. Quickly stretching his arm to grab the transponder snail from Kin'emon

"Franky! Kick some ass out there!" Luffy orders into the snail "We'll back you up real soon!" he says

"Wow! Thanks, brother!" Franky enthusiastic tone could be heard from the snail.

A loud crash struck could be heard from behind you. You and your group turn facing the direction the sound came from. The ground shaking under you. Feeling the vibration under your feet, making you feel slightly uneasy as you all turn becoming aware of your surroundings

"That was loud! You got something going on over there?" Ussop questioned. Only to be followed by multiple crashes. They sounded almost like explosions but you couldn't see any smoke or fire. What was going on

"Should we be worried?" You say looking back at the building being sliced in half in the distance

"This does not look promising" Kin'emon says

"And it's coming this way" Zoro breaks his silence when something comes crashing down nearly in front of you. Your hands fly up to cover your face as quick as possible. Not having enough time to react to the sudden crash. Dust clouding your vision losing sight of your group for a quick second

"What just happened? I can't see! You guys okay?" Luffys voice could be heard as the dust cloud cleared slowly. You wanted to respond but it seems like something else caught everybody's attention. Slow footsteps could be heard near by

As the smoke dropped away you could see the figure of the "retired" warlord himself. Or should you say Warlords? One was smashed into the stone path lying on his back. Doflamingo standing over him

"Doflamingo. Traffy!" Luffy shouts

So it was Law who crashed into the ground? This didn't look good at all. Law was bloody, with his chest rising as he gasped for air. His limp body sprawled out on the crumbled stone only feet away. From where you were standing you could see the pirate's mouth open groaning from pain. You couldn't do anything but stand in shock. What was there to say at the sight? There was no point, you all knew there weren't much options right now

*click* The sound of Doflamingo pulling the hammer of his gun into place echoes. Luffy begins to shout

"What's goin' on? Traffy! Why are you fighting with Mingo?"

*bang* The shot rings through your ears. Your eyes are wide at Doflamingos form now pointing the gun at Law. It all happened too fast. The atmosphere goes from light to heavy in a second. The psychological effects sinking in. Many emotions flood your brain at once at the sight of your newly found friend on the floor. Not knowing whether to cry or burst with anger

*click*Bang*click*Bang*

Two more shots were fired at the man. Laws body jolting from the force. His body fell back onto the path below him completely weak. Blood dripping down the male's face

"TRAFFY!" You and Luffy scream. Luffy was closer to the pirate, but you often grew soft spots for anybody you've met. Especially when it's somebody you meet through Luffy. He always did attract the best crowds

It was hard to even think with time flying by. Everybody moving too quickly for you to process. Sanjis voice was quick to break the silence

"C'mon, Luffy, say something!" He shouts. Opening your mouth to explain the situation only for Zoro to turn his head to you. His face serious causing you to close your mouth immediately. Only looking back at the scene hearing Doflamingos low chuckle

"Sorry about all the commotion, folks. Forgive me." The townspeople gasp as Doflamingos speaks up "This is the pirate, and Warlord, Trafalgar Law. He's the culprit behind the false report of my abdication from the throne this morning."

The Warlord paused letting the "news" sink into those around him. There was no way Law would do that and not tell the group. This was a setup to make the pirate look bad. It was all a blame and the townspeople were falling for it. The crowd of onlookers watch as Law lays there on the floor motionless

"He was attempting to pull me off the big chair. But fear not. I've taken care of the problem." Doflamingo continued covering up his traces fooling the people of Dressrosa.

You were sick at how many cheered at Law being battered to the ground. But it was more sick how Doflamngo was manipulating them. It was clear to you and your group that Doflamingo was our enemy.

Hearing your captain behind the bars grunting in anger. Luffy was waiting and ready to pick a fight with the fluffy pink man

"Hey, Mingo!" He yells. You felt your mouth go dry as the taller male turned his head in your direction. Turning to look back at Luffy internally cursing at him for having to pick a fight with you in front of him

"You're gonna pay for doing that to Traffy!" Luffy defends his allied pirate. You knew he had guts, but it was starting to get serious quickly. You stand next to the two men in your group hoping they will have a better idea of what to do. Your arms crossed but secretly you were just trying to hold yourself to feel better

"Listen, kid. You'll mind your own damned business, if you know what's best for you. Don't you know? Law used to work for me. I'm just cleaning up my own mess." he spits out

Zoro and Kin'emon were quick to dash forward. Their hands by their swords, ready to unsheathe them if needed. Standing back watching for a second before using your devil fruit powers to grow vines from the ground. The vines grew up to your hand. The vines growing into the shape of a sword. As you wrap your hand around the handle of the vine sword. The green plants fading away revealing your black sword underneath. Holding the sword in your hand as you chase behind the two men, quickly catching up

a/n mid story?- I tried my best to interreact with fights scenes since I want this story to focus on like romance, but also like one piece in general. I don't think i'm the best at writing them. I wanted you to be able to like kinda summon? the sword. Work with me now. In jujustu Kaisen its like how Maki can just pull a sword out using her cursed enegry. Or like genshin impact (Lol sorry i'm really into genshin rn im AR40 lol anyways) The fighting in Genshin Impact is near perfect honestly. Many sword users in the game use their power to pull out their swords and that is kinda what I'm trying to convey here. Anyways continue

"Y/N, Kin, get Traffy outta here!" Zoro orders, taking control over the group

"Right!" You say giving a small confirmation, quickly trying to reach the injured pirate. You heard a small voice shout from the side of Kin'emon. Seeing the transponder snail on the mans swords case

"Hey! Come on, talk to us! Please tell us what's going on!" Chopper cries through the snail

"With heavy heart, I am sad to report Sir Law has fallen" Kin'emon shouts

"That asshole Doflamingo shot him" You cut in, voice dripping with disgust. Running between the two men Zoro unsheathes his sword as we approach closer to Doflamingo

"The Pirate Hunter Zoro, and Firefox Kin'emon, right? Oh! And their pretty witch Y/N" he says in an awful teasing tone. The warlord doing his best to taunt the three of you. You couldn't help but frown and feel deeply uncomfortable at the way the guy was talking

"You know, I saw Momonosuke earlier too, unguarded aboard your ship." Doflamingo remarks

The samurai next to you lets out a small grunt. The comments were getting to us. You glance to your side at the older male before speaking

"Don't listen to him, we would never let him take Momo." You reassure the man next to you. Earning a small nod with a slight smile, before you two split off from Zoro heading towards Law. Both of you make your way to law as you both crouch next to pirate

Grabbing Law's face you turn his head up from its position to the side. Your face is directly above the male as you try to check if his eyes will open. They only lightly flutter open. Law's mouth opens as he tries to talk only to fail. You grab his wrist to find a weak pulse

"oh god, law" you sigh, arms falling to your side at the sight of his bloodied body. Quickly pulling yourself together you look up at Kin'emon on the other side of laws body

"Hurry! Help me get him out of here!" You shout at the Samuari as your arms reach for Law's shoulder trying to pull him off the ground. Only lifting him off the floor a bit before getting distracted by the floor shaking. You could hear the sound of the stone near you cracking. As you look behind you, you see Zoro fall into a newly made hole. The only one left was the blind man from the restaurant.

"Zoro!" You shout, only quickly looking back as you hear your crew from the snail asking about what happened

"What happened to Zoro?!" Usopp shouts

"He just fell into a hole?! We can't really explain it right now!" You hurriedly shout as your hands reach for Law's shoulder again

"Sir Zoro just vanished!" Kin'emon says in shock

"Kin'emon! Stop staring and help me-" You order only to be cut off by a loud slash and Kin'emon letting out a shout of pain. Watching the man fall onto his back. Blood splattered in the air from the slice. Teeth clenched together as you do your best to move. Knowing you were next.

Reaching for your sword on the floor next to you. Your other hand finds the handle as well. Quickly swinging the sword at Doflamingo only for his string to block the attack. The force from the string was enough for you to be pushed back slightly

Seeing his finger twitch slightly. From the corner of your eye, you see a white flash. Swiftly tilting a finger up as your vines grew rapidly blocking yourself from the quick attack. Doflamingo chuckles as you look back up at him standing in front of you. Only to see another white flash. This time barely dodging as it hit your forehead. Now matching with the samurai who had also been hit

You fall back onto your side as you grab your head in pain. Seeing blood dripping onto the floor. Feeling the blazing sun on your back as you pant. You were scared and wanted this to be a part of the past. The pain takes over your body as Luffy shouts

"Y/N! KIN'EMON! I'M GONNA HELP YOU!" His voice falters, looking up from your place on the floor seeing the boy grabbing ahold of the sea prism bars weakening him

A loud slice erupts from the hole next to you. Looking over Zoro jumps out from the hole moving back towards to coliseum. You could see blood dripping from the swordsman's mouth from where you were

"Please go inform the civilians to evacuate as far as possible." The blind man orders the marines. This is why he couldn't tell the crew who he was. He was a natural enemy of ours. You sit up holding a hand to your bleeding head as you try to figure out the next move

"Thank you for your help before. I fear I may seem ungrateful turning my blade on you as I am, but I do not intend to be callous. Fate can be a cruel and ironic mistress at times." The marine spoke

"This man, who stands here alongside Doflamingo is a Navy Admiral it would seem!" Kin'emon is heard informing the crew. Doflamingo reaches his arm down his hand grabbing for Law lying on the ground next to you.

"Don't you dare!" Kin'emon shouts as Doflamingo grabs Law's coat pulling him off the ground easily. You lunge forward grabbing at the warlord's hand holding onto Law. Trying to stop the larger hand from pulling on the pirate. Doflamingo's other hand pushes your shoulder, shoving you back to the ground

"Don't" was all he said as you hit the hard floor. A soft groan falls past your mouth as you sit back up. The only thing option that didn't lead to your death, was having to sit and watch him carry Law's body carelessly

Doflamingo walks up to the Vice Admiral with Law in hand. Whispering something to the marine. The marine nods his head before unsheathing his sword. Worried he might do something you hurry to your feet, grabbing your sword. Kin'emon getting the same idea as you both regroup with Zoro closer to the coliseum.

"Law!" You shout

Watching the Warlord now float due to his strings. The Vice Admiral is floating in the air too on a piece of stone he cut from the path. What kind of overpowered devil fruit were these? Slightly jealous about the cooler power

"Wake up! Please, Sir Law!" Kin'emon shouts up at the unconscious man

"Are you kidding me?! Both of them can fly?!" Zoro shouts

"This is so unfair!" You agree with the swordsman

"How are you fairing? Please answer us!" Kin'emon continued to shout. Watching the two float in the air as they talk to one another. You caught something about them talking at Doflamingos Palace. Zoro grunts beside you

"I won't let them get away!" Zoro says, pulling his sword back behind his head and getting ready to attack. Both your hands find the hilt of your sword getting ready to help him out

"ALL CIVILIANS HAVE BEEN EVECUATED!" A voice shouts. Turning your head to see a group of marines looking back at you. How could we forget about the other Marines here? The crowd charges closer drawing their weapons ready to fight

"Capture Roronoa Zoro and Y/N L/N at once!" One demanded as the marines began to shoot in the group's direction. The trio blocked the bullets with their weapons. Hearing the sound of the bullets hit the blade of your sword, you help the men block the bullets

"Looks like our cover is blown, huh?" Zoro speaks up

"Yes, that seems to be the case." Kin'emon replies

The two easily chattering while blocking the bullets made your brain run wild

"STOP TALKING! THIS IS OUR TIME TO GO!" You shout at the two men as you take off sprinting leaving the two men behind to block the bullets

"WHA-" Zoro shouts from behind you, hearing two pairs catch up to you

"MISS Y/N! HOW DARE YOU LEAVE SIR ZORO AND I BACK THERE! YOU WOMEN ARE EVIL!" Kin'emon shouts into your ear as he runs beside you

"OH SHUT IT! Both of you stop messin' around!" You reply continuing to run around the coliseum. Gunshots rang through the kingdom of Dressrosa. Bullets flew past the group as you fled from the marines

"Unfortunately, they have seized Sir Law!" Kin'emon shouts into the snail

"WHAT?!" The crew shouts from the other line. The three of you run around the coliseum in a hurry. Losing the marines for a bit as you rounded back to where Luffy was. Zoro grabs the bar of the window as he talks to Luffy. Hunching over your knees, you pant trying to catch your breath from the lap around the large structure

"Hey, Luffy! You should go and locate an exit! We'll stay on the move and hold out as long as possible for you." Zoro says between pants for air

"I'm on it! Let's hurry! I heard Traffy say something after he got shot. He might still be okay!" Luffy says in a determined tone. The rest of the crew's cries echo from the transponder snails. All your heads snapping at the worried cries

"Not you guys, too?! What's going on?" Luffy questioned

"O-O-OH NO!" Brook's voice cries

"What?! Just spit it out already" Luffy shouts

"THERE THEY ARE!" a voice yells. But not from the snail. You look up seeing the group of marines have caught up to you. You let out a sigh as the group begins to make a quick plan

"Dammit! They spotted us. Luffy! I think you should run with us while you talk!" Zoro recommended to the captain

"Yeah, let's go!" Luffy agreed as he took off running along side us inside the coliseum

Running around the coliseum, you all listen to Sanji explain the situation taking place on the Sunny. Now big mom subordinates are trying to attack the ship. The cook explained how it seemed like they were there for Caesar as well

"Come to think of it why is Caesar back on the Sunny?" Luffy spoke up. Marines are hot on your tail, they must have been determined. Zoro turned around to cut down the marines quickly, before running again

Finally! A little break allowing yourself to slow the pace a bit. You could feel the blisters forming from the amount of running that has happened in the past few hours in this damn kingdom

"Was it not obvious the deal crumpled apart?! Why else would Traffy have gotten his ass beaten, huh?" Zoro shouted in his sarcastic tone. Not that you could call that sarcastic. The man's tone was insulting and filled to the brim with anger

The swordsman only gets a stern look from his captain. Sanjis voice interrupting the moment

"Yeah, we're stuck with him because Law told us to take him to the next island, unfortunately," Sanji explained

Nami spoke up explaining how Traffy sacrificed himself to get Momonosuke and Caesar far away from Dressrosa. Our navigator spoke sternly to get her point across

"Nami has a good point" You backup the girl

"Hey, Luffy! There are three main things that Doflamingo and us are fighting for. Caesar, The SMILE factory, and for some reason, Momonosuke. We obviously haven't completed our mission to destroy the factory yet, so he's got one. But fortunately, we have the other two pieces right here with us, get it?" Nami spoke directly to the captain. Knowing the boy would get serious at the tone

"Gotcha. Good point. Then we'll have to take Traffy back at all costs!" Luffy said turning his head back to your group. This jogging was becoming foolish to you, running in circles around the coliseum

"What's the name of the next island, again?" Luffy asked

"That would be Zou!" Kin'emon says

a quick moment passes as Luffy goes into his assertive mode. The captain knows that this is the time for him to get even more serious about his next decisions

"Sanji! Nami! Chopper! Brook! Momo! You guys move ahead to Zou!" Luffy ordered

"Well, if that's what you want, Roger that, Captain, but one request first," Sanji replied. Soon asking for permission to fight back against Big Mom's ship. Of course that was one request Luffy would agree to. Franky chimed in saying he, Robin, and Usopp with take down the factory together with the little people

"All of you stay safe, okay?" Luffy said

"Roger that!" Sanji and Franky replied

"Traffy's life is at stake. Rebecca's wish is at stake. And he's the one controlling it all. We're gonna head straight for the palace! And then, we'll beat the hell outta Doflamingo!" Luffy says, his voice serious

You could die from two things right now. The hot weather or the hot weather and THIS STUPID BLUE FISH COSTUME MATCHING ALONG WITH LUFFY. Who is currently sobbing in the disguise he was given by Kin'emon. Since animal costumes seemed to be the best escape

"You got outta the damn place, why are you crying?" Zoro says as you all jog

"Zoro could you be a little more considerate, right now!" You shout at the man from inside the costume

"Stop sayin' my name. You're gonna get us caught!" Zoro argues

"Oh shut it! I'm the only one who WAS staying in disguise!" you yelled only to earn an annoyed groan from the man. The swordsman falls quiet being guilty of the accusations. We all jog past groups of marines in disguises

"It seems my flawless disguises have fooled the Navy into thinking we're naught but toys!" kin'mon says. From next to Luffy, you could hear the pleased tone in the Samurai's voice

"Flawless, my ass! Look how much we stick out! These costumes are weird!" Zoro says

"But I chose all the best animals! Like carp! Carp are great!" Kin'emon replies

"I think the carp are very cute Kin'emon! They sure are hot though" You chime in

"See Sir Zoro, Miss Y/N thinks the costumes are cute!" Kin'emon gushes. Luffy's cries only get louder. Looking back at your captain you do your best to comfort his cries

"Come on Luffy, tell us what's wrong" You coo

"Stop crying already! You wanna save Traffy or not?" Zoros's harsh voice cuts in. His hand raised to smack at Luffy. Imaging it didn't hurt much because of the costume and Zoros hands were covered by cute cat paws now

"I'll save Traffy. And I'll kick Mingo's ass. Now I know the Flame-Flame Fruit will be in good hands" Luffy sobbed out

"What does that mean?" Zoro questions, only earning more cries from our captain

As you continued jogging with the group. Luffy began to explain some of the situation of what exactly happened inside the coliseum

"Ow" Luffy whines

"How long are you gonna keep crying?" Zoro says after whacking your poor captain over the head

"I can't imagine what you're going through" You whine, big crocodile tears flooding your eyes at the thought of Luffy meeting somebody he thought he lost. Lifting your arms to wipe at the tears streaming down your face

"I've never seen Sir Luffy shed such unrelenting tears! He must be profoundly touched to find his friend alive after all this time!" Kin'emon says

"Uh-huh. Yeah" Luffy agreed through his sniffles. Tears stain dripped down his face

"Why have I never heard of him? Who is this guy?" Zoro interrogates the boy

"He's... my brother..." Luffy sniffled out

"Luffy!" You cry out unable to control the tears. The story was way too sad. You found yourself tearing up over small stories like Franky. Never too embarrassed to cry when it comes to your crewmates. Tears poured from your eyes like a fountain

"Huh?! Your brother?" Zoro says

"I was not aware that Sir Luffy possessed any siblings!" Kin'emon added

"Wait! You're not talkin' about Ace, are you? Does that mean he's still alive, somehow?" Zoro questioned concerned

"All those years ago...!" Luffy trails off. Looking at your captain his eyes were glazed with happiness. He looked as if he was on cloud 9. Tears lined his wide eyes

"Answer my question, damn it!" Zoro shouts

"This is great news Luffy!" You say with a wide smile across your face. Luffy looks at you smiling at your happiness for him. Letting out his cheerful laugh he continued to talk. Looking back to the path in front of him

"It's just like Ace said back then. We all went our separate ways, but we never stopped being brothers!" he says, tears flooding your vision again

"Okay, but who is this guy?" Zoro continued not satisfied with the boy's answer. The group jogs towards the palace in the middle of the kingdom

I LOVE BARTOLOMEO SO MUCH

This part might be short I just want to get something out. I hope it was decent. Also i realized that I'm shipping one of the love interest away (Sanji) but it's okay. I'm not even close to done with Dressrosa so that's also while I take a bit to write since Im always watching. SORRY BOUT THATT HOLD UP ILL TRY TO BE MORE LOCKED IN. But when im done with Dressrosa and whenever the strawhats reunite. IDK when that is so i will find out i suppose. But i plan to write a yummy sanji x reader in this lil fanfic. I'm gonna do a light grammar check, post and pray.

I'm also hoping that the shorter post will allow me to post more because i happen to love RUN ON SENTENCES 😍

Love y'all

[ambersky0319]

Store managers said even a few minutes overtime will be a write up

I'm calling bullshit

[hsslilly-blog]

i dislike drawing bags because i’m lazy but claire has this huge collection of bags i think. even though she’s always with That One. for uni and casual outings. i think bags are a big claire thing so whenever she Really goes out she always has a different purse matching her outfit

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[thethingything]

you can engage with new media as a fictive heavy system who's currently incredibly prone to splitting after some extremely stressful life events, but watch out...

[bangcakes]

.

[scarlettcryptid]

hardcore projecting my avoidancy onto dabi in this soulmate au thing i started in november

[dnptheinfinity]

unbelievable that i managed to solve the problem of "i don't feel like watching/reading/listening to anything" by trying and succeeding to write

[leafbowl]

You know that thing bikers do when they see a police car? The tap on their helmets? Yeah so Arsenal, Red Hood, Red Robin and Spoiler (who I think are the only ones who ride motorbikes outside of their vigilante personalities) do it whenever they see Nightwing. And you better believe it makes others so fucking confused.

Nightwing: *Drops down into the fight.*

Red Hood: *Stops everything he's doing to tap the top of his helmet.*

Spoiler: *Sees it and then stops to do it too.*

Red Robin: *Gets a giddy little grin and starts tapping the top of his head.*

Thugs: *All collectively very confused.*

Thug #1: Wha... What're they doin'?

Thug #2: Uhh I dunno.

Thug #3: Hey, isn't that what bikers do when they see a cop?

Thug #2: Nah. Nightwing's not a cop, dumbass.

Thug #1: Yeah, he's a vigilante. Wha's he need with bein' a cop?

Thug #3: But he's the type to snitch tho.

Thug #1: Well... I guess. Maybe that's why they do it, cuz he's such a snitch.

Thug #2: *shrugs* Maybe.

Thugs #3: Uh, guys...

Thug #2: What?

Thug #3: Ya 'ere that?

Thug #1: *Pauses but doesn't hear anything.* Uh nah.

Thug #3: Exactly. Where'd the fightin' sounds go?

Thug #2: Shit.

The fighting had stopped because everyone else had been taken care of. The batfam had just been waiting for them to finish their conversation like Alfred taught them to. He would be proud. Probably of the broken and fractured bones that followed. Well, he'd be proud of their technique, they reckoned. (To be honest, Alfred would be proud no matter what.)

Arsenal: So he just... told you all to stop?

Red Hood: *Shrugs.* Pretty much.

Red Robin: I don't get why B wants us to stop using 'dick' as a term of endeerment. It's a compliment! Being like Dick is the highest honour.

Red Hood: And that has nothing to do with the fact the Baby Wonder finds it infuriating?

Red Robin, grinning: Cassie hating it is an upside, I won't lie.

Nightwing: *Drops down next to where they're all gathered on a roof.* Hey guys, sorry I'm late, I-

Red Hood:

Arsenal:

Spoiler:

Red Robin:

Robin:

Orphan:

Nightwing: Uh guys? *Starts sweating because there's something wrong with the way they're all blankly staring at him.* How- how's everyone?

Red Hood: *Starts tapping helmet.*

Nightwing: *So concerned that something's wrong he doesn't clock it right away so he just stares, a crease forming between his eyebrows.*

Red Robin: *Taps against his hair.*

Nightwing: Wait a sceond-

Arsenal, Spoiler: *Taps their heads.*

Robin and Orphan: *Looks at each other. Holds eye contact and then starts tapping their heads to fuck with Nightwing.*

The next day a photo of Nightwing standing with his head bowed in defeat whilst being surrounded by Red Hood, Arsenal, Red Robin, Robin, Spoiler and Orphan who are all patting their heads is trending. People think they're in some kind of cult and that they were either sacraficing Nightwing or they were summoning something. The fact that Nightwing isn't spotted for the next week makes everyone lean towards the sacraficing.

(Jason made him promise he would play into the bit by not going out and letting his friends and/or his siblings patrol his city. Dick has never been good at saying no to his little brother. And, come on, Dick fucking loved the idea of people thinking he was being sacraficed. Also, he doesn't mind the head patting. Batman was the only one who thought it might reveal his identity. Dick was with Stephanie on it all, really. There was no way people would connect him to Nightwing and if they did, it's not like anyone else would believe them.)

It gets to the point that it's not even to fuck with Batman anymore. It becomes a normal greeting, something that bleeds into their civillian lives. People understand it more when it's directed at Dick Grayson but it's very endeering to see it. It all fuels all the Bruceman shippers when Tim Drake-Wayne is caught doing it to Nightwing.

[bensiskos]

Sorryyy I need somewhere to put my rage

[astonmartinii]

day seven: (christmas) star power | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x fem primary school!teacher

oh how one lie can spiral

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

yourusername

liked by yourbff, yourbrother and 204 others

yourusername: so ummmmmmm i pulled the short straw and am in charge of the school's nativity ??? AND THEN made a comment about my 'boyfriend' charles leclerc and now the whole school and WHOLE village think he is coming to the show ...

view all comments

yourbff: are you fucking dumb ???

yourusername: YES

yourbff: you told the headmaster that your boyfriend is CHARLES LECLERC ????

yourusername: i said it in JEST

yourusername: like ooohhhh my boyf charles

yourusername: and i guess that my framed picture of him on my desk definitely didn't help ...

yourbff: you have a framed picture of him on your desk...

yourusername: it was a christmas present from my cousin 😭

yourbff: oh but why would you have it on your desk - you're a primary school teacher all those kids do is ask questions

yourusername: why are you VICTIM BLAMING SO MUCH

yourbff: because you're DUMB

yourbrother: oh they're gonna stone you when they figure out it's not true

yourusername: they should know it's not true ITS CHARLES LECLERC

yourbrother: so you're saying you couldn't just go to monaco right now and pull him? disappointing

yourusername: 1. i'm broke as fuck 2. i am me and he is he

yourbrother: ugh such a skill issue

yourbff: bro it's hit f1twt

yourusername: WHAT

yourusername: who the fuck is on f1twt from our village

yourbff: maybe it was me...

yourusername: REALLY?

yourbff: no you actual dumbass

yourusername: no but for real these people are insane detectives they're going to figure out it's me and i'm going to be CANCELLED

yourbff: lol

yourusername: fuck you.

charles_leclerc

liked by landonorris, pierregasly and 1,034,289 others

tagged: arthurleclerc & lorenzotl

charles_leclerc: just a quiet christmas for the leclercs this year

view all comments

user4: because we're going to somerset right?

user5: does he know he's meant to be in somerset?

user6: does he know what a nativity is?

user7: girl he may be an f1 driver who didn't finish school but he's not THAT dumb

landonorris: why am i seeing that you're coming to my ends for christmas?

charles_leclerc: am i??? why would i want to spend even more time with you?

landonorris: first of all - rude. second of all i have literally seen posters about you coming to the village?

charles_leclerc: what is a village?

landonorris: okay mr monte carlo some of use aren't from a tax haven

charles_leclerc: also when you're this beautiful, people tend to paste your face everywhere, you can't relate

landonorris: even RUDER

landonorris: my young cousin goes to the school and is completely convinced that you're coming to the show and dating his teacher

charles_leclerc: WHAT

yourusername: oh my jesus christ

user8: and if that one girl on f1twt made it all up...

user9: would be the only good thing to come out of that place

pierregasly: what is this i'm hearing of you having a girlfriend? charles i am HURT

charles_leclerc: where are you all hearing all of this stuff?

pierregasly: twitter!

charles_leclerc: oh jesus christ

pierregasly: you've got yourself in a right mess

charles_leclerc: ME?

charles_leclerc: this is clearly the work of a downright lunatic or a lonely cat woman with FAR too much time on her hands

yourusername: oh he gagged me there

yourbff: heyyy you have a dog not a cat!

charles_leclerc: who are you people?

yourusername: NO ONE

user10: what on earth is going on

user11: and WHO is @yourusername

yourusername: NO ONE

landonorris

liked by pierregasly, oscarpiastri and 1,034,277 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

landonorris: look who came to see me :)

view all comments

user13: holy....

user14: oh charles at the nativity is still so on

user15: my hopes are simply too high now good lord

user16: lowkey hoping this is all one big lie from f1twt that has managed to convince ACTUAL drivers to go to a random village

oscarpiastri: how did he get an invite to the norris house before i did ?

oscarpiastri: do my 'heart eyes' mean nothing to you?

landonorris: no babe i can explain it's for the bit

charles_leclerc: babe?

oscarpiastri: stay out of this old man

charles_leclerc: that's no way to talk to your father

oscarpiastri: my father wouldn't do such things for 'the bit" WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN

landonorris: it's a joke osc

oscarpiastri: so i'm a joke to you? i see how it is

landonorris: NO THE TWITTER JOKE

landonorris: has he just put his phone on do not disturb?

charles_leclerc: he said he's going to bed (it is actually quite late in australia dude)

landonorris: how do you know that?

charles_leclerc: he replied to my text :)

landonorris: WHAT

charles_leclerc: family comes before whatever pathetic crush he has

user17: how have we gotten to this point?

user18: just smile and wave boys this is mental illness on show

charles_leclerc: you're right, having a crush on lando is mental illness

landonorris: then it's time to get your son sectioned!

alexalbon: well this has all gotten a bit serious now - can we get back to the actual reason charles is at your house?

yourusername: @yourbff oh brother this is getting TOO REAL

yourbff: to put it quite kindly you are royally FUCKED

yourusername: i might have to move to another country, change my name and get bangs :(

yourbff: NOT BANGS

landonorris: who are you people and why are you always camping out in our comment sections

yourusername: WE'RE NO ONe

landonorris: WAIT I HAVE MUTUALS WITH YOU?

landonorris: NOOOOOOOOO

landonorris: she blocked me?

yourbff

liked by yourusername, landonorris and 304 others

tagged: yourusername

yourbff: take a good look at her folks because i have reason to believe that if a certain someone turns up at the show she will KILL HERSELF. love you queen, rest in divadom

view all comments

yourusername: this sounds very dramatic

yourusername: but you are correct

yourusername: my life will come to a short and all round inconsequential end tonight

yourbff: it is dramatic

yourbff: but i understand queen

yourbff: your celebrity crush who you have had a parasocial relationship with for years is coming with the express purpose of embarrasing you because he believes you are a sad, sad woman who has created an elaborate lie that you're in a relationship

yourusername: well yeah that sums it up pretty well - you think you could put that on my head stone?

yourbff: i don't think we can afford that

landonorris: i can pay!

yourusername: AHHHHHHH

yourbff: AHHHHHH

landonorris: oh forgot to say but found you! we have a lot of mutual friends lol

landonorris: actually i think my mum and your mum are in the same book club!

yourusername: you're aware this is creepy?

landonorris: you're aware that pretending to be my friend's girlfriend is creepy

yourusername: THERE WAS A GROSS MISUNDERSTANDING OVER MY DESK DECOR

landonorris: sureeeeeee

yourusername: also charles isn't even the only man i have framed on my desk, i have my dog, justin from wizards of waverely place, jason kelce and marc marquez, he's just the one the old lady picked out

yourbrother: now we have actual f1 drivers in the comments, how can we get free tickets from them?

yourusername: so my impending suicide means nothing?

yourbrother: not really. i might take your car if you die

charles_leclerc: so this was all one big scheme to get tickets? there's no show ???

yourbrother: that's what you're focusing on? not that she has a whole town under the impression that you're dating some irrelevant primary school teacher?

yourusername: rude?

charles_leclerc: a primary school teacher? that's cute

yourusername: wait did you think i was just doing the nativity for the love of the game?

yourbrother: who gives a fuck he called you CUTE

yourusername: oh!

yourbrother: she passed out :/

charles_leclerc: i didn't know i had that kind of effect on people

landonorris: oh fuck off of course you do

charles_leclerc

liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 1,539,056 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: met my long lost girlfriend (and most importantly her dog)

view all comments

user20: omg i do not know how to feel

user21: WHO WAS GOING TO TELL ME SHE'S THAT BEAUTIFUL

user22: i 100% thought the gal was gonna at least be in her 40s

landonorris: i guess she puts on a pretty good nativity

charles_leclerc: which kid is your cousin?

landonorris: the lobster!

pierregasly: LOBSTER?

charles_leclerc: @yourusername why was there a lobster?

yourusername: ummmm there's a lot of kids in the class and i was running out of roles? all animals are gods creations?

charles_leclerc: seems sacrilegious but it was cute <3

charles_leclerc: just like you

pierregasly: that was awful

yourusername: SHUT UP

yourusername: thank you charles :)

charles_leclerc: no worries princess x

user23: i am losing my mind ?????

user24: bro got tricked into going to SOMERSET and has actually fallen for her

user25: i mean ... look at her

yourusername: i do also have a cracking personality if i do say so myself

yourbff: oh girl you needed it after i held your hair back three times in the lead up to meeting charles

yourusername: and i will repay you somehow ???

yourbff: well.... now you've charmed a certain someone can we inquire about his pool of friends

landonorris: hi!

charles_leclerc: no not that one he's not cute enough

landonorris: you're really mean

charles_leclerc: @yourbff may i introduce my good buddy joris

landonorris: JORIS ???

charles_leclerc: well i regularly want to throttle you so i think it would be better to go on double dates with someone i actually like ?

user26: charles leclerc is the origin of the sassy man apocalypse

user27: i think the paddock was the start of it all

yourusername: i can't believe this actually happened :')

charles_leclerc: and i can't wait to see where it goes

yourusername: see you for new years pretty boy

charles_leclerc: i think i already know who my new years kiss might be

yourusername: i'm already waiting :3

fin.

note: i hope you all had a fun christmas! i had a great day with my family and am workin hard to get the rest of this series out!

[scentedpeachlandcreator]

How to manifest your desired face:

*This is the most popular topic, so i made this to clear up some questions you might have or struggle with.*

Manifesting your ideal face Can be frustrating sometimes, why? Well you Always encounter the mirror, and it Can get you very demotivated and you might think that there's no movement or doubt the Law.

But let's simplify LOA Real quick-

1. Decide: decide what kind of face you want, it Can be mixed or just the ideal face you want.

2. affirm: making an affirmation that you feel comfortable to repeat for example "i already have my desired face" "i look exactly like xyz!"

3. persist: being stubborn and faithful to your assumption, you Always return to your assumption/imagination regardless of what the 3d shows you. For example: you still see the same old face in the mirror, before reacting, you affirm that you have your desired face.

That all you gotta do.

But here's the Real question →

Why the 3d is still showing me my old face?

Duh 😒 didn't we ALWAYS Say that you shouldn't take the validation from the 3d? The 3d won't EVER give you your desired face if you focus on it.

The 3d will Always shows you your current assumptions, if you keep saying that you don't have your desired face, well Guess what? Yeah duh you will still see your old face.

But we need to fix that, we need to stop this repeating cycle.

YOU ALREADY HAVE YOUR DESIRED FACE! IT IS DONE!

The second you decided that you have your desired face, you have it in 4D.

Done deal.

There's nothing for you to do now, just to persist in the assumption that the fact you already have that desired face of yours.

And the 3D will catch up on and will reflect your 4D, IF you keep fulfilling yourself and accepting the imagination as the true reality.

I cannot stress this enough when i say that the 3D is just a mirror, a dead reality, without imagination, it nothing but a dead reality, what you're experiencing right now is because you imagined it first then it was being reflected into the physical reality.

"B-but Eli i can't ignore the 3d when it is in front of my face😞"

Yeah i know it is difficult but let me tell you.

YOU DON'T NEED TO IGNORE THE 3D!

Just know it will change cause you literally decided that you already have your desired face, you know it is done, creation is finished, you already have your desired face in your 4D and the 3D have no choice but to reflect it!

"but Eli i'm done seeing my ugly face!"

I know it is hard when you are Always in front of that mirror, but beer with it for a while, keep saying positive affirmations, keep affirming that you look exactly like your desired face! I know it will feel Weird and uncomfortable at first but you will get used to it with Times.

"but Eli when i see those pretty girls on tiktok i feel so insecure and i wish to be them😢"

Girl, instead of saying that, when you see a pretty girl on tiktok just Say "oh my god! She's so pretty! But i'm prettier than her, that obviously🙄💅🏻" or "this girl is so pretty like me!".

Affirm against any opposite thought, you're clearly telling your subconscious every single day and reminding it that you DO have your desired face and you're already pretty.

How to know that i'm living in the state of the wish fulfilled?

You won't give a single Fuck to the 3d, you know you already have your desired face so you won't give a single Fuck to what the 3d throw at you.

You'll feel an immense calmness and you'll feel like you already own/ have that desire, it will start feeling natural.

You know it is a done deal, you already have your desires so you'll be unconcerned about what happening in the physical reality, no matter what the 3d throw at you, you KNOW that you do have your desires in the 4d.

People saying your ugly? The Fuck girl? Can't you see my beauty? I'm literally the prettiest.

Seeing pretty girls and feeling insecure? Gurll i'm literally prettier than them, they wish to have my face.

Still seeing your old face in the mirror? Gurl i literally have my desired face, i looks exactly like xyz.

See how it is easy? You just need to be disciplined.

If you really want your desired face, then be that stubborn mf and manifest that perfect face of yours.

Now go and make that change, you'll thank me later😌.

Xoxo, Eli

© Scentedpeachlandcreator

[ssa-dado]

what if fleabag reader has to get a new vibrator 'cause her old one died on her or she's just getting one for her friend as a gag gift, and she runs into hotch in the process ? also i didn't know you could get them at pharmacies, but i guess that's a more realistic place for hotch to be (old back and everything).

For a Friend

triathlon!Aaron Hotchner x fleabag!reader Genre: 21st-century-feminist-meltdown-over-an-old-man and pre-relationship mutual pining Summary: You just wanted a new vibrator. Instead, you bump into Aaron Hotchner at 2 a.m., holding six modes of clitoral suction technology and a G-spot stimulator in a paper bag. Now he’s offering you a ride, a jacket, and possibly his number. You’re doing great. Warnings: Sexual themes & imagery (non-explicit but VERY suggestive), age gap, cuss words, hint of the vile act of female masturbation *pearl clutch* with *pearl clutch pt.2* sex toys, objectification of the Hotchner body, reader calls Hotch out for not having an ass, grief (your last vibrator died) Word Count: 4.7k Dado's Corner: Thanks for the request, dearest!! Sorry it took me forever, I hope you enjoy itttt!!! Special thanks to @hotchology for the free psychological counseling

masterlist(s)

Experts say it’s healthy to walk at least seven minutes a day, so here you are - taking your medically-recommended stroll at 2:06 a.m., in the direction of a 24-hour pharmacy, because you care about your health.

Deeply.

You really care about your health especially now that your vibrator has officially died in your hand right in the middle of what was shaping up to be a perfectly respectable late-night fantasy involving you, a locked door, and the tall, emotionally unavailable federal agent with zero small talk skills you’ve been mentally undressing since the first time you saw him do a butterfly stroke at the Y.

…It’s not like you always picture Aaron Hotchner.

You’re not that far gone.

You do have range.

You’ve gotten off to strangers.

To that chief of trauma doctor from Chicago Hope.

To the hot background guy from the Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas who had two lines and really great hair.

You are complex. You contain multitudes.

It’s just that Aaron Hotchner is… convenient. Reliable.

He’s easy.

Not easy-easy.

Cognitively easy. Low effort. High reward.

You don’t have to invent a man from scratch. Don’t have to mentally composite three mediocre exes and C-list celebrity actors into a half-decent fuck-doll when he already exists fully formed and fully clothed (barely.)

You don’t even have to think.

He’s basically a mental shortcut to climax, muscle memory with forearms, a comfort fantasy - like soup for the soul, if soup were six feet tall and weekly served wet at your local pool.

…And also dripping, practically naked.

All yours, at least visually.

You’ve memorized the way his thighs flex when he pushes off the wall, that split second of coiled power, the twitch of his calves, the ripple up to his glutes as he launches forward.

Perfect form. Perfect technique. Perfect… well.

Not a lot of meat back there.

Not exactly the kind of ass you’d grab with both hands and sink your teeth into.

No jiggle. No fluff.

Just… deeply respectable glutes.

Taut. Efficient. Compact.

An ass with more function than fat.

An ass that clocks in at the crack of dawn, files a huge pile of case reports, tackles a serial killer or two, then goes home and makes dinner for his kid.

An ass that probably says “thank you” when it finishes and then folds the towel neatly afterward.

Toned, athletic. Not juicy.

You wouldn’t bite it. (Lie.) You wouldn’t slap it.  (Another lie.)

(Because you’d absolutely slap it. If he walked past you up a flight of stairs in those tight trousers he insists on wearing - pleated, no less - you’d black out and wake up with a stinging palm, your handprint on him and a federal restraining order in the mail.)

You wouldn’t grope it. You’d shake its hand. A gentleman’s ass. Very in-character kind of ass.

…You’d still let it rail you against a doorframe, obviously.

You’re not an idiot. You have eyes.

And that’s how you know the way his back arches (yes, arches) when he does a lazy freestyle turn. That smooth, arrogant curve of his spine as he rotates, like the water exists solely to show him off.

You’d say he looks graceful, but that feels too innocent.

He’s obscene.

You know everything about his body. Everything except for one crucial part.

The only piece he hasn’t offered up for public consumption.

The mystery.

And yet… is it really?

Because thanks to the tight speedos he wears you’ve done more visual math in that pool cafeteria than you ever did in school.

Circumference. Vein definition. Drop. Girth. Angle. Hinge theory. Left or right lean.

You’ve factored in mass, blood flow, gravitational pull, and fabric stretch.

At this point, it’s not even fantasy, it’s field research. All you have to do is mentally rotate, enlarge by 37%, adjust for arousal, and boom - there it is.

You’ve seen that dick. You know that dick.

If it ever revealed itself in real life, you’d probably just nod.

Like, yes. Correct. That’s the dick I’ve been using. Thank you for confirming.

Your brain barely breaks a sweat.

Which is more than can be said for you, as you’re currently trying to act normal in front of a just-graduated baby pharmacist who definitely still gets ID’d at bars, while heading for the forbidden shelf.

The one that doesn’t technically exist, but everyone knows does.

You make the turn casually.

Like you’re browsing.

Like you’re not here to buy a vibrator at 2 a.m. on a Tuesday only because for some reason, buying it here - in a pharmacy - makes it feel... medical.

Like a wellness thing. Like vitamins, floss, or calcium chews.

Like a very modern, battery-operated form of hormone regulation.

Not pleasure. No, no, no, God forbid.

This is for health, for stress relief. This is for preventing female rage and preserving the social fabric of your household.

Also, it’s very, very late - which is strategic.

No lines. No witnesses.

No grandmas behind you buying Werther’s Originals and silently judging your rotating G-spot stimulator with ergonomic grip.

You tell yourself that’s why you’re here at this hour.

Not because, despite all the feminist essays and body-positive podcasts, you still get flustered at the thought of being seen in public holding a brightly colored orgasm machine.

No. Absolutely not.

You’re here because you swore - never again.

Never again would you endure the trauma of your vibrator dying mid-session and having to switch to manual mode like it was the Middle Ages just to finish.

(And worst of all, it didn’t even work. You dried up. Mood ruined. You just laid there, staring at the ceiling for fifteen full minutes before sighing, getting dressed, and deciding - once again, ironically - to take matters into your own hands.)

You’re a modern woman.

Sexually free modern woman living in a free country that still accounts for death penalty for some of their states. Nothing is more free than this freedom.

You can vote.

You can buy a dual-stimulation, six-mode, energy-efficient G-spot massager - (at least according to the box, which proudly claims it uses fewer batteries than your last one. And you believe it. You trust boxes. You’re loyal like that.)

Right next to the hemorrhoid cream. In the middle of the night.

And you can replace a fallen comrade - RIP to the last one. Gone, but not forgotten - and now, here you are, holding its shiny successor the way you’ve seen people hold babies in movie posters. (Tender. Hopeful. A little overwhelmed.)

Nothing says freedom like that.

Stars. Stripes. Clitoral suction technology.

God bless America.

…Maybe not.

Because just as you take a step back, you collide – directly -with someone you didn’t even hear approach.

“I’m so sorry,” you blurt, right as a much deeper, much more male voice says the exact same thing.

A voice your brain knows very well.

Because not even an hour ago it was busy fabricating that same voice whispering “You’re taking me so well,” and - though you'd never admit this part - also: “Sweetheart.”

(Ew.)

Aaron Hotchner is now standing right there in front of you - real, breathing, and terrifyingly three-dimensional in a full three-piece suit – and is trying so hard not to look at the aggressively pink vibrator box clenched in your hand.

But he saw it. Oh, he saw it.

He’s a profiler. He’s trained to notice things.

(Or at least that’s what your late-night Google search said back when you first typed: “aaron hotchner fbi real???”)

(Which quickly devolved into a behavioral analysis rabbit hole run by people with usernames like @wifeofunitchief69 and @peter-rhea. All of them openly thirsting after him.)

(Especially this Peter guy - who you’re 85% sure is real, 15% convinced was a hallucination - kept posting photos a few years ago that looked… suspiciously intimate. Like “taken through the blinds” intimate. You don’t know how he got them. You don’t want to know. He hasn’t posted since.)

(Guess it was just a phase.)

Aaron’s locking eyes with you. Terrifying. Unfairly hazel, thanks to the pharmacy’s aggressive overhead lighting.

He’s focused on your face. Just your face.

(You are maybe a little flustered by this.)

(You bet all the serial killers he interrogates fall in love with him, too. You bet they get weird about it. Understandable, this man definitely knows how to hold eye contact.)

But you don’t buy it.

There is no way he didn’t read the full headline: “CLITORAL SUCTION + G-SPOT STIMULATION - NOW QUIETER!” (Ironically printed in all caps. For maximum discretion. Obviously.)

You are so incredibly fucked.

Unfortunately, only metaphorically.

Also, the silence is not helping. Not even a little.

…This feels like a crime.

(It’s not. Not technically. You can’t terminate a pregnancy in half the country, but you can buy a dual-motor vibrator next to the Tylenol. It’s somewhere in the Declaration of Independence - just after “life, liberty,” and right before “All men are created equal,” [*except slaves and women].”)

Still.

You are now committing an obscene act of self-service capitalism directly in front of a federal agent.

And some small, awful corner of your brain - the one with leftover shame and badly wired internalized misogyny, inherited from a cocktail of bad parenting and several seasons of Law & Order – fully believes this is the part where he arrests you.

Pushes you against the KY shelf.

Pins you with his full body weight.

Snaps cold real handcuffs around your wrists and whispers, “You have the right to remain silent…”

Which you clearly don’t.

Because your mouth opens before your brain can file an objection.

“…It’s for a gift.” WHY. WHY DID YOU SAY THAT. “…For my friend,” you add… as if that helps. (It doesn’t.)

He nods. Polite. Awkward.

…Too bad his ears are starting to match the exact pink of the vibrator.

Goddammit, he’s a prude.

One of those soft-spoken, morally burdened types who probably says “intercourse” and excuses himself when a condom commercial comes on.

Oh no.

What if this is his first time seeing one up close?

What if you just popped his sex toy cherry?

What if he goes home, locks the door, and has a slow, shameful jerk thinking about you in CVS with a 6-mode clitoral suction wand?

(…You wish.)

No. Worse. Because now he’s staring at you like he wants to ask, “What kind of friend buys a vibrator at 2 a.m. on a Tuesday?”

But won’t.

And since you are a mature, well-educated, emotionally intelligent woman - and not, say, a liar desperately trying to salvage a crumbling cover story – you say:

“Her birthday’s tomorrow.”

(It’s not. It’s in three days. But the product needs testing. Obviously. You’re not going to spend that much money again unless you know it delivers. That’s not selfishness. That’s friendship. That’s quality control.)

“Well… technically today. Midnight and all,” you add, even smiling. So bright. So natural. So deeply suspicious.

“It’s alr-” he starts, finally working up the courage to glance down-

…Only to be slapped – hard - right between the shoulder blades by very enthusiastic, very just-graduated-and-finally-making-big-boy-money night-shift pharmacist who materializes out of nowhere behind him.

Ouch.

Now - to be fair - the pharmacist doesn’t see it. (You do. Unfortunately. In high-definition, too.)

Because Aaron Hotchner is currently holding a box of ThermaCare HeatWraps and naproxen sodium - both of which are for his back.

He jolts forward on impact, barely, and then freezes.

Just enough to make you worry that’s it, that’s the final blow. That he’s going to stay like that forever, just slightly curved, permanently bent.

Italic Hotchner.

“My man,” the pharmacist beams. “Everything alright?”

By the look on Aaron’s face, you can tell he has never seen this person before in his life. Never. Not once.

But Aaron nods - tight, polite, already calculating the minimum number of words required to exit the conversation without triggering a background check or losing his license to carry a firearm.

“Just wanted to say, I really admire you.” The pharmacist grins, still holding Aaron’s shoulder, “Not every guy’s open-minded enough to use toys in the bedroom with their girl.”

…Oh. Oh, fuck.

You should say something. Anything. Correct him. Laugh, even.

But you’re too distracted by the fact that Aaron isn’t saying a word either.

He’s just… frowning. Not full frown, just pulling his eyebrows closer together.

Which, in Hotchner language, could mean anything from “I’m flattered” or “You could’ve handled it differently” to “I’m about to shoot you.”

It’s impossible to tell. You’re not fluent yet. (You need more fieldwork. Preferably hands-on.)

“Damn, look at that,” the pharmacist chuckles, nodding at Aaron’s little arthritis starter pack.

Then turns. To you.

“Is this your fault?”

Ha.

Ha ha.

How adorable.

You wish. God, you wish.

You’d rail him into a herniated disc so bad he’d have to wear a brace for three months and think of you every time he reached for the cereal shelf.

But no.

“Um…” you manage, shaking your head. “We’re not-”

Fucking. Sexually intimate.

Connected in any capacity beyond weekly pool glances and intrusive masturbation thoughts.

(And it’s not like he seems like the type to just have a casual “friend.” No, he seems like the kind of man who'd call a hookup a regrettable lapse in judgment and then spend six months punishing himself for it.)

And so, in doubt? You flee.

A timeless tactic.

You did the same thing when your therapist asked, “Why do you think you’re so attracted to older men?” and you suddenly remembered - oh no! You didn’t lock the café.

“I think I’m just gonna…” you gesture - vague, noncommittal, something in the direction of the register - and after a short, awkwardly graceful round of people-pleasing Olympics with the vibrator-pink-faced pharmacist-

(something between “Sorry if I misunderstood, I’ve been here since 6 p.m. and I’m on my third energy drink,” and “It’s okay, no really, it’s my fault” [for what? unclear])-

You’re outside.

Alive.

Vibrator in a paper bag and…

…It’s pouring.

Not only do you not have a significant other to kiss in the rain like a scene from one of those movies you only watch when you’re actively trying to remember how alone you truly are, but your car is enjoying an extended, all-inclusive, paid-for-by-you vacation at the mechanic.

Great.

“Miss.”

You physically jolt. Because:

1. That voice.

And

2. Miss?! Hello???

Aaron is standing just behind you, yet again.

“Are you alright?” he asks.

“Oh, yes.” You are soaked. And flustered. And holding a fucking vibrator in a paper bag while the hottest man in federal law enforcement addresses you like a schoolgirl who dropped her books in a rainstorm. “Yes. Alright.”

He looks at you with that stupidly concerned face - the one where his brows pull just slightly together.

It lasts a second.

Feels like a week.

“You’ve been standing here for a few minutes…”

…Apparently, the old man’s been watching you contemplate your entire existence under the sad little pharmacy awning while he casually stocked up on meds for his fucked-up joints.

How romantic.

“Oh… I was-” Nope. Nope, you were not anything. You have no explanation.

“Do you need a ride?” he asks.

Oh. Fuck. “Don’t worry,” you blurt. “I live close by.”

Feminism is a beautiful thing.

Except right now.

Right now, feminism is cockblocking you.

Aaron hums - hums?! - already pulling his phone from the inside pocket of his suit jacket and it’s… it’s the smallest iPhone you’ve ever seen.

Probably an iPhone 4, but in his hand - his massive hand - it looks like he’s stolen it from a dollhouse.

He swipes the screen (with his very thick thumb), squints just enough to tell you he’s absolutely in denial about needing reading glasses, then turns the phone toward you:

“99% chance of hard rain until 7 a.m.”

…Unfortunately, you’re far too distracted by his hands to verify the evidence. Especially that thumb, still hovering near the screen like it’s not the most erotic thing you’ve seen all week.

(And speaking of data - there is a study. Something about men with very large hands also having very large-)

Without hesitation, Aaron just shrugs off his suit jacket. “Put it over your head,” then he hands it to you. “Don’t want you to get wet...”

Too late.

Not only because you're touching his very warm, very expensive, very tailored, very smells-so-much-like-him jacket, but because he didn’t even flinch.

Not at the acid rain.

Not at the dry-cleaning bill.

Not at the fact that he doesn’t have an umbrella for himself.

Not even at the fact that he’s now just standing there in a white shirt.

A white shirt. In the rain.

(You pray that he’s not wearing an undershirt.)

(You pray this turns into an unofficial Aaron Hotchner Wet T-Shirt Contest…Wet shirt. Wet dress shirt.)

“…You’re the one holding the electronics,” he adds, tilting his head toward the bag.

Ah. There it is. Thank you, Aaron, for making it weird. Again.

He sort of redeems himself by opening the door of his very shiny, very hot-dad black car like it’s the 1950s. (You hate how much you love it.)

…He even closes the door for you.

There are a few immediate observations that need to be made about Aaron Hotchner’s car:

•           It smells divine. Like clean leather, big paycheck, small emotional availability and a touch of lavender, too.

•           It’s spotless. Not a crumb. Not a fingerprint. There’s not a speck of dust anywhere.

•           There are superhero comics tucked into the seat pocket. Jack’s, obviously. Unless… they’re his. Which would be - God. A brooding man with a soft spot for two-dimensional justice and emotionally stunted men in capes. Fatherhood and projection, hand in hand. Amazing.

But what really grabs your attention is the seating.

Full black leather.

Sleek. Cold enough to sting if your thighs were bare. Soft enough to leave marks if you were sitting on his lap instead.

Easy to wipe down. Easy to grip.

A car designed to be fucked in.

The hottest thing inside it, though? Probably the fact that it takes a few soft Are you alrights and Do you need anythings before Aaron finally starts the engine.

And it’s… quiet. Disturbingly quiet. No coughing. No sputtering. No “please God start” noises.

Just… starts.

“It’s such a cool car,” you blurt.

Fifty percent because you mean it.

Fifty percent because the silence is killing you and that’s literally the first thing your brain offered up as a conversation starter. You’re not even sure what you’re complimenting. Just that it has… technology.

You’re genuinely impressed. There’s literally a screen. A touchscreen. With sensors. A built-in navigator.

Meanwhile, your car still has a cassette slot, three loose aux cables, a suspicious stain that doesn’t want to come off, and a radio that only plays static unless you hit it twice.

“It’s a good car,” he replies, completely unbothered. Literally just a man stating a fact. About his vehicle. And yet, your brain shuts off.

You’re hot under the collar because Aaron Hotchner said something true… in a nice voice.

That’s it. That’s the bar.

And to make it worse, he doesn’t follow it up. No “Do you drive much?” No “What year is yours?”

Nothing. Just those three words and then silence.

He's the worst small talker you've ever met and now you have no idea how to keep this going.

You consider asking him about… tires. Or gas mileage. Or how long it took him to sell his soul to become this repressed.

Pathetic.

You’re even more pathetic when he does that thing. The hot thing. The driving thing.

Where he turns around to check behind him - one hand on the back of your seat, other on the wheel - torso twisting, shirt clinging, full neck exposure.

Basically porn.

You try so hard not to spontaneously combust.

Not just because you’re pressed into his personal space, or because his white dress shirt is completely see-through now after all that rain and you can see where his spine ends, or because he’s absolutely not wearing an undershirt and is one unexpected pothole away from full nipple contact.

No. It’s the tongue.

The tiny flick. Just a flash. Quick. Absent. Almost innocent.

His tongue darts out - just a little - as he focuses, like it helps him steer straighter. Nothing but a reflex. He probably doesn’t even know he’s doing it.

You, however, are acutely aware-

Just as aware as you are of the fact that the two of you are sitting in near silence. Almost comfortable.

If not for the small detail that you’re horny and holding a vibrator in a paper bag. The only sound is the rain-

And the soft, awkward half-comment he lets slip when you tell him your address:

“Oh. You were right. It is really… close.”

No shit, Sherlock.

If you had even an ounce of courage, this would be the most satisfying “told you so” of your life - because not even four minutes in, he’s already pulling into the cracked little square that overlooks your apartment complex.

“Where’s the entrance?” he asks, squinting at the very charming, definitely-not-a-fire-hazard 1970s architecture. “It’s barely lit here.”

He’s right, though.

There’s a little pedestrian alley that leads to your stairwell, and it’s lit by what is essentially half a lightbulb and probably one moth if you’re lucky.

“I can’t leave you here,” he says, already switching off the engine.

“It’s fine, don’t worry, I’ve done it alone a thousand times.”

You get The Look™.

The full Dad Look™.

Eyebrows lowered. Mouth set. Silent moral judgment loading. Which, naturally, makes you blurt out something helpful:

“I swear. Even at 3 a.m. When I was blackout drunk.”

He looks horrified.

Which is… great. Exactly the vibe you were going for on this totally unromantic, emotionally neutral, post-pharmacy ride home.

“Well, you’re not walking alone all the way there today,” then he proceeds to open the driver’s door before you can even object.

“Wait- really, you don’t have to-”

“Stay here,” he cuts in, already halfway out before you can finish.

Then suddenly, he’s at your door. Umbrella overhead.

Like some man from a black-and-white movie who has no idea you’re holding a vibrator in your bag and have a sink full of crusted risotto waiting at home.

Chivalry.

That’s what it should be called. But that word feels too… medieval. Too knight-in-shining-armor. Too “written by robed men who thought ankles were sinful and menstruation was the devil’s piss.”

No.

From him, this isn’t chivalry. It’s something else.

Not performance. Not politeness.

Just… kindness.

Offensively tender, nonverbal, soak-himself-in-the-rain kind of kindness.

And so the two of you walk under the same umbrella together, arms brushing every other step.

You try to create distance. He scoots closer.

Adjusts the umbrella to keep you dry.

Prioritizes your dry head over his own sopping suit.

Kind of romantic.

You could kiss him here.

Right now.

Under this umbrella. In the rain. In front of your depressing 70s concrete box of an apartment.

You could just… do it.

Lean in. Shut him up. See what that mouth actually feels like.

If it weren’t for the very inconvenient fact that you are juuuuuust a bit terrified of rejection.

Terrified in the “ha-ha I’ll never date again if someone even slightly hesitates when I flirt” way.

In the “I’ll replay the rejection in the shower for the next ten years, write five alternate endings, and mentally workshop comebacks well into menopause” kind of way.

In the “what if he says no and then I have to move to Vermont” way.

Also, you are currently holding a vibrator in a paper bag. So. There’s that.

Still, Temptation is real.

Even because Aaron is still mid-monologue about street lighting standards. Turning his head every few steps. Gesturing with one hand like a man who has read far too many municipal codes for someone this hot.

The idea of shutting him up for good with a kiss is honestly starting to sound like a public service.

“It’s barely visible here,” he mutters, scanning the alley. “No signage. No reflective paint. Anyone could-”

“Trip?” you offer.

“Worse.” He deadpans, then turns toward you, “Are you humoring me?”

“A little,” you shrug (he’s pathetic.)

He stops. Looks at you. “I’m being serious.”

…Ah, the dad voice. Firm. Slightly patronizing. Delicious.

“I know,” you smile. “That’s what makes it so fun.”

By the time he’s done glaring, you’re already at your building entrance, heart stupidly tight.

Saved. Almost.

“Well… this is me.” You pull out your keys to prove to him you’ve got your shit together. “Um… thanks for the ride. And the walk, of course.” (What is this, Pride & Prejudice?) “I think I’m good from here.”

You say it lightly, casual, because if you don’t end it now, you’re 100% sure he’ll keep going.

He’ll follow you to your door.

To your kitchen. To your hallway. Maybe even your bedroom.

Not for sex. God, no.

Just to make sure you’re safely tucked in.

That your bedroom window locks properly.

That the shadow outside was just a tree and not a threat (more likely, the stray cat you and two old ladies keep over-feeding.)

He’d stand there - in the doorway, quiet, stiff, arms crossed - and wait until you hit REM sleep before silently excusing himself.

The worst part? He’d make it feel horribly sweet.

And the much, much worse part? To do that, he’d have to walk through the disaster zone you call home.

The crusty risotto bowls still soaking in the sink. Three wine glasses, none of which match. A fork in a mug.

He’d pass your roommate mid-makeout with a “friend” who’s definitely not wearing pants and is probably sitting on your throw blanket.

He’d see the takeout containers on the counter.

The mystery stain on the wall you keep forgetting to Google.

The chair you keep meaning to fix but now just refer to as “decorative.”

He’d see you. As you are.

And you can’t be the reason this man actively re-dyes his greys by Wednesday. You’d love to be. You really would.

But not like this.

Also, you’re just really tired and you’ve got… things to test.

And, if you’re honest, some things are better when they stay in your head. Untouched. Untried. Safely fantasized.

So you smile.

“I’ll be fine.”

He nods. Doesn’t argue.

But doesn’t leave, either.

Instead, he pulls something from his coat pocket.

His business card.

“Text me when you’re inside,” he says, dead serious.

You blink at it.

The paper is thick. Embossed.

Feels like you’re holding a warrant.

“Oh wow,” you murmur, trying not to smile. “This is the smoothest way I’ve ever gotten someone’s number.”

He straightens slightly. “It’s my work phone.” Still serious, but fumbling.

(He’s so bad at this. It’s almost adorable.)

You nod, suppressing the second smile in a row. “Of course.”

He looks at you for a moment - too long, maybe, or maybe it’s just your perception that’s a bit fucked up - and says, “Goodnight, miss.”

You pause.

“It’s-” You tell him your name.

He nods. Revises. And repeats it. A little too careful. A little too gentle.

You might actually pass out.

Not just from the emotional whiplash, but also because your apartment has too many goddamn stairs and your legs were not built for this level of cardio or romantic tension.

You stumble inside, safe. Unmurdered. Emotionally unstable. Immediately grab your phone and text the number printed in the most intimidating Arial you’ve ever seen.

made it still alive didn’t get murdered not even a little bit

He replies almost instantly.

(Almost, because he’s an old man with disproportionately large thumbs and the texting accuracy of someone whose phone autocorrects “fine” to “filing.”)

aaron hotchner (work, no nudes): This is a work number. Please be mindful. – A.H.

…He signs his own texts. Oh fucking hell.

aaron hotchner (work, no nudes): But I’m glad to hear it. Goodnight, miss. – A.H.

You type back:

goodnight... agent??

Three dots appear. Pause. Then-

aaron hotchner (work, no nudes): 👍 – A.H.

taglist: @beata1108 ; @c-losur3 ; @fangirlunknown ; @hayleym1234 ; @justyourusualash ; @khxna ; @kyrathekiller ; @littlemisskavities ; @lostinwonderland314 ; @mmmunson ; @mxblobby ; @oxforce ; @percysley ; @person-005 ; @prettybaby-reid ; @reidfile ; @royalestrellas ; @ssa-callahan ; @softestqueeen ; @theseerbetweenus ; @todorokishoe24 ; @who-needs-to-sleep

[no-144444]

mistake- l.hamilton

summary: lewis fucks up

pairing: dad! lewis hamilton x fem! mom! wife! reader

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“I’m home!” Lewis called into the house as he shut the door behind him. The patter of small feet down the stairs made his heart beat a little bit faster as the smile on his face widened. It had been a pretty shitty weekend, just hoping to stay in the points wasn’t what a 7 time World Champion should’ve been doing. He should be at the front, where Charles was. So he made his decision. 

“Hey baby,” you smiled, watching as your toddlers hugged his legs, both begging for ‘uppies’ as he greeted them animatedly. Archie and Milo, your 5 year old twin boys, Anna, your 4 year old, and Harry, your 3 year old, all grabbing for him as Riley, your 2 year old, was half-asleep in your arms. 

He smiled as he saw you, and leant down to the kids, greeting all of them with a hug and a kiss, then standing up and pressing a soft kiss to your cheek. “Hey baby.”

He pressed a soft kiss to Riley’s head, gently stirring her out of her sort-of sleep. 

The 7 of you enjoyed dinner, Lewis put the kids to bed while you showered, and met you in your bedroom after what felt like the longest day ever. 

He wrapped his arms around you from behind as you brushed your teeth in the mirror. You smiled. 

“You alright baby?” you asked, finishing up. 

He sighed. It was as good a time as ever, he guessed. “It’s been a shitty season,” he lay on the bed, holding you close to him. “I got an offer.”

You blinked. “From who?”

“RedBull,” he admitted. 

“Wow,” you nodded, clearly a little shocked. “RedBull.”

“I might take it,” he admitted. Your jaw dropped. “I want the 8th. I want it so badly Y/n-”

“What about your promise?” you questioned. “You’re nearly 42 Lewis, and you have 5 fucking children and a wife at home who wait for you every single weekend. I know you want all the glory of being the greatest of all time, but will that really be enough for you?” You were exhausted by his ambition. “You’re already the greatest of all time Lewis, one more championship isn’t going to change that.”

“I know I can do it though,” he pressed a soft kiss to your temple. 

“But can RedBull?” you scoffed. “They’ve been fucking Lawson over for a whole year now. What makes you think you’ll be any different?”

He sighed. “Baby, I can’t stay with Ferrari for 10 years when we’re not winning races.”

“They are. Charles is. You’re not,” you scoffed, knowing how mean your words were. “I can’t keep fucking doing this. I can’t just be this perfect housewife. I need more than that. I had a fucking career before this, and you promised me it wouldn’t be put in on the backburner, yet it has been since Milo and Archie were born. You swore to me that you’d be finished when you were 40. You’re almost 42. I’ll never regret having our children, I adore them, but I do regret ever believing you when you said you’d support me.”

Your words cut him like a knife. He felt like shit. He’d done it again, fucking everything up with you. 

“Baby, I’m sor-”

“Don’t say things you don’t mean Lewis,” you scoffed. He opened his mouth to say something, but as if it were planned perfectly, Riley started crying, and you got up to tend to her. He sat back against the bedframe and sighed. 

What was he going to do?

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navigation for my blog :) (masterlist)

[washedoutwings]

yeah so uhhhh we’re always permanently low on motivation so umm yeah sorry but we are doing one of those note things

20 notes: we will try to take our meds more consistently

50 notes: draw at least something once a week

70 notes: eat something for breakfast every day (at least an apple or protein drink)

100 notes: start keeping better track of our delusions/hallucinations

150 notes: tell our therapist about 2 of our headmates

200 notes: start a system journal

300 notes: tell our therapist about 5 of our headmates

500 notes: tell our therapist about all of our headmates

700 notes: tell our doctor about about our chronic pain

1000 notes: eat something medium for breakfast at least three days a week (like a bowl of cereal)

1500 notes: ask our closer friends to use she/her less (they know that we’re trans)

from here on it’s more about just good habits that we don’t have much motivation for instead of self care type stuff, so less important

2000: draw every day (when possible)

2500: finish writing one of our wip stories/fics

3500: start working on an art commissions portfolio

4500: start working on a writing commissions portfolio

6000: set up art commissions

8000: set up writing commissions

sorry, we feel really guilty about this but we really need some motivation for this stuff. honestly we don’t expect this to even get to 20, but that’s fine! no deadline, ummm if you really want to spam idc, feel free to tag people. i’m not gonna tag anyone, i don’t want anyone to feel pressured

edit: WHAT THE FUCK where did yall come from???????

edit 2: damn i was offline for like 2 days and it was barely at 300 and we log back on to 500+ uhhhh thanks ig lol

edit 3: well we’re almost at 700 so..i guess i’m gonna add a couple more?

edit 4: the gimmicks got to us…also added some more

[lycastanne]

kinda enemies to lovers with pro-hero!bakugou and popstar!reader

now bakugou is sitting beside kirishima doing an interview where they have to guess a song just with a lyric.

“come right on me, i mean camaraderie.” bakugou reads the paper in his hand.

“oh wait i think i know this one, the song was trending all over the internet last week.” said kirishima enthusiastically.

“the lyrics are weird, i bet it's trending because it sucks.” bakugou rolled his eyes and shrugs his shoulder. meanwhile, his pr manager having a meltdown behind the camera.

“wha— that's not a manly thing to say, bro. i guess it's (name) (last name)'s latest song, right? but i couldn't remember the title.” kirishima changed the topic.

“isnt she famous for her lyricism? i guess people are just throwing words nowadays.” said bakugou nonchalantly.

the clip was trending all over Twitter after it was uploaded. of course, you, who are chronically online, saw the video of dynamight making fun of your lyrics.

days later, when you just finish with your show, you decide to interact with some fans outside the venue.

“do you see that dynamight interview?”

“im sorry what?” you pretend to not hear her.

“dynamight? making fun of your lyrics?“

“who's that?”

boom— the clip is trending #1 all over the internet. the fans found your petty beef hilarious.

user156: LMAOOO EVEN MORE HILARIOUS BECAUSE HE'S THE NUMBER 2 HERO IN THIS COUNTRY

(name)s123fan: she's so funny lol i love her

dynamifans: i love dynamight but id do the same if i were her

user678: they want each other so bad lol

totallynotbkg: he's right her lyrics sucks lol

user222: this is def dynamight

user114: her lyrics are fun lol, do you think she would write like shakespeare or smtg?

bakugou not even realizing that he's now scrolling through your name's hashtag and starts listening to your songs. he watches every fancam of yours with wide eyes because where the fuck he's been? you're an amazing performer and produce good songs, not that he wants to admit out loud.

totallynotbkg: i guess she's not that bad