#i got wayyyyy too drunk

[kakashixhatakesxwhore]

Most to least experienced in bed? Konoha 11 and whoever else you wanna add. Love your work 😩😩

alrighty, i switched this up a bit to avoid strange research, if you wanna see someone else/another group ranking, lmk - i hope this is up to code, and thank you for the request!!

Sex Tier List

Ranked: Konoha 11 (Naruto, Sakura, Shikamaru, Ino, Choji, Kiba, Shino, Hinata, Neji, Lee, Tenten) + Sand Siblings (Kankuro, Temari, Gaara) + Sasuke

Warnings: swearing, x(GN)reader implications, we are talking about sex, uh idk lmk if something makes you uncomfy

Notes: Boruto era for everyone, and, for everyone, their Bortuo era! this request had me fucked up lowk because, canonically, these mfs got zero action without rings - so we're putting an enjoyment spin on it, worst to best, in a modern-ish au. as in, who you would have to guide, vs, who could rock your world, five times over, in one night.

Masterlist💿

Tier 3 - Passable🪙

5. Hinata

I'm not even sorry. She deffo just lies there. Never gets on top. You have to ask for anything and everything, and not even in a sexy, teasing way, more in a 'I don't want to feel like I'm fucking a wooden board' way.

4. Kiba

May God love him because this man is certainly a selfish lover. That's not to say he isn't good - he's great at getting himself off, his brain just kinda shuts off otherwise. If you wanna cum, the onus is on you, because he's fuck-drunk within seconds of you touching him.

3. Kankuro

He's trying, okay?? It's just really fucking hard to keep you in mind when you just feel so fucking good. Kankuro's just inconsistent - that's the main issue. He'll try a million different positions in one session and is always unintentionally edging you.

2. Lee

Now, our darling, Rock Lee, is trying his best, honestly and truly. However, he doesn't know anything about anything, and you have to guide him every now and again. He's got the enthusiasm down, he's just not very good at translating it into pure sexual energy on the fly.

1. Gaara

He's too busy to be good at sex. When he does find the time, y'all get extra down and dirty, but Gaara's still lowkey inexperienced and the irregularity of your encounters doesn't help.

Tier 2 - Good🪩

5. Choji

Bro's got hidden talents, aight? It's a matter of him wanting to utilize them that sets Choji up. Most nights, he's chilling, but on those key few nights, hot damn.

4. Sasuke

I would've put him lower but y'all would've been mad - it's called REALISM. Sasuke would be wayyyyy too busy to put in the work to develop any actual skill in the bedroom, and he would find researching for it so far past disgusting. His good grace would be his natural endowment and prowess, but he's on thin fucking ice.

3. Tenten

Surprisingly stone top vibes, I cannot lie. She deffo gets off on your pleasure, but she's down here because she's kinda bad at first. There would totally be improvement, like obvious and quick improvement, but those first few times were pretty rough.

2. Shino

Baby boy. Sweet boy. Ugh. I love. I wanted him as number one, so I'm not even defending this. Take it up with my lawyer.

1. Naruto

He's not the main character for nothing. Naruto lays pipe, but he can get a bit selfish at times. Never fear though, the second he catches himself, lost in the sauce, another round gets added to his itinerary. He'll be making it up to you tenfold, even if it was just for a minute.

Tier 1 - Fantastic🔮

5. Sakura

With her level of anatomical knowledge, she barely even needs to break a sweat to give you a release. However, she will break a sweat, because she wants to. Just amazing, idk what to tell you.

4. Temari

Got me kickin my feet and twirlin my hair rn - she would be so GODLY in the sack. She's always very present, very attentive, but is so openly expressive in the moment. Temari would have you screaming syllables and seeing colours behind your eyelids.

🥉 Neji

The game my man's got is INSANE. I just know for a goddamn fact that no one dances the horizontal mambo as gracefully as Neji. You're pleased, he's pleased, no one's ever terribly tired or bruised, the limits are clear lines but are never even toed. That's just the reg, too! Special nights would be fucking wild, dude would have wine, and flowers, and candles - he would go the whole nine yards every time.

🥈 Ino

Be still, my beating heart. Christ. Yeah, Ino's got this shit on lock. She's a vers switch, need I say more? (I do, someone request a fic)

🥇 SHIKAMARU

Y'all seen my preferance yet, or nah?

Oh Em Gee - Shikamaru could have you, heels to Jesus, all night longgggg. The stamina, the will, the knowledge, the capability; it's all there, and no one is as apt to put it all together except for Shikamaru. He would go for hours at a time, until he physically couldn't anymore. He would know exactly what makes your timebomb tick, and he would push every button so deliciously. Fuck, he's a tease too. If you two aren't actively in the bedroom, he's trying to get you there.

[killakalx]

personally im also loud w gags but i feel even if its softer eventually jason uses it as an excuse to take it out and just put his fingers in ur mouth/push ur head into a pillow

rn this scene is in my head: you tease him wayyyyy too much at some sort of house party. he isn’t too into sex while a shit ton of people are outside the door but you’re both a little drunk and he’s pissed off (jason todd’s words for horny). soooo your panties are probably torn and shoved into your mouth, and he starts with you on your back but the bed rocking combined with your moans around the fabric??? he just pockets them instead, then he’s flipping you over and shoving your face into the pillows. the headboard hitting the wall got louder but at least no one gets to hear those pretty whimpers right

[sweetkiller690]

Fuck it, Juice Bar Regular Hcs

Herb (Bloom) Cookie

Herb is 25 years old (Oldest, minus Vampire)

He is autistic and has symptoms such as a lack of fear, unusual eating, trouble understanding others' emotions, hyperfixation, and sleeping habits.

He is Wasisn (a mix between Asian and White)

Originally from a forest near the Hollyberry kingdom

5'6 (Shortest one in the group)

Bisexual, uses neoprouns (plant/plantself), and is Poly

Major weed smoker

His mother is Matcha Cookie (he doesn't know)

She left him a forest full of carnivore plants and expected them to eat him.

Instead, they raised him as his own and you can guess how that fucked him up lol

He was adopted (found and kidnapped) by Sea Fairy and Moonlight at the age of 6.

Took quite a bit for him to get over his eating habits, but currently, he is fine.

He is the owner of a flower shop with his only current employee being Tumeric Cookie (oc)

The only reason why he has one employee is because of Cookiesnap.

Stronger than he comes off as. He can easily carry Mint and Sparkling at the same time

He usually has dirt on him because of all the time he spends in his garden.

Has a scar on the right side of his face, he doesn't really remember how it got there.

Relationships

Mint choco: "I like him, he's very sweet but a little dumb. His music helps my plants grow. I love listening to his music,,

Vampire: ''He stinks of red wine but at least he is decent. Wayyyy too clingy but has good intentions. I saw him on the floor passed out once.,,

Sparkling: "He's a pussy, he faints at the smallest drop of jam. He works himself half to death. At least he makes good drinks. ,,

Sparkling (Champagne) Cookie

Sparks is 24 years old

He is Hispanic

Originally from the Hollyberry Kingdom

The only one whose father didn't leave for milk

6'0

Gay, Cis and Polyamory

Workaclohic

His mother is Strawberry Fizz Cookie

His father's name is Yellow Wine Cookie

A major disappointment to his parents

He was going to be a professorial healer but dropped out

He faints at the sight of jam.

He owns a bar (duh) and he is the only one working it.

He has a pet yellow parakeet named Cocktail

His hair fizzes a lot. He got used to it and tuned it out.

Has a mole on his the right part of his face

Relationships

Mint choco: ''He's a sweetheart, a kind cookie who never puts himself first.,,

Vampire: 'He needs to go home to his sister. He is OK?? Just done having to drag him home every night...,,

Herb: ''He is an asshole. Not everyone is fine with jam on their floor! At least he makes good blunts.,,

Mint choco cookie

He is 23 years old (The youngest)

He is Blasiain (Black and Asian)

He was originally from the Dark Cacao Kingdom.

Mint is a resulted of an entanglement with Chocolate Bon Bon and Dark Cacao.

Meaning in a technical sense Mint choco is royalty

Bon Bom left the kingdom shortly after he was born.

He doesn't know that Dark Cacao is his father.

Chocolate Bon Bon would promote toxic masculinity.

Took a while to break away from that way of thinking. And when he finally did he started to let his hair grow.

5'8

Pan, Polygender, and Polyamory

Workaholic (Not as bad as Sparkling tho)

Wayyyyy too nice to others

Keen on giving people chances, especially when they do not deserve them

Loves tall vodka

Semi-famous violinist who works off of gigs.

Has a bit of freckles because why not

Relationships

Vampire: ''He may be drunk all the time but he is still a good guy.,,

Herb: ''Oddish but I still love him no less. His garden is beautiful, with such wonderful plants!,,

Sparkling: ''He worries me, I doubt that he gets enough sleep. Go to bed!,,

Vampire (Wine) Cookie

Vamp is over 2,000 years old but is mentally and physically 25

He is white

They used to live near the Hollyberry kingdom

Vampire's father is Mulled Juice Cookie.

His mother was a cookie and has long passed away.

Mulled Juice abandoned him and Alchemist

His abandoned started his drinking habits

6'7

Bisexual, Demiboy (they/him), and Polyamory.

Way to lazy

He is just an acholic

Since he isn't a full Vampire he doesn't need jam to survive but without it, he is sluggish and low on energy.

Uses wine as a replacement for jam

Doesn't have a job but still lives in a lavish mansion

Literally uses red wine to survive

They have been trying to grow facial hair (hasn't been working)

He can see in the dark and hear extremely well but not as good a regular Vampire

Relationships

Mint choco: ''I enjoy listening to his music when I'm getting over a hangover. ,,

Herb: ''He is a good pillow... ,,

Sparkling: ''His great... I love all the wine,,

The sillies

[baconcolacan]

What sort of relationship has the gang now? (Ew stay au) what does Tord think of them?

Okay it would take me wayyyyy too long to make new visuals to explain this au so I'll just write it down. Also keep in mind, this AU IS very self-indulgent so expect some ships I like:

The Stay AU is just a little thing I made for self-indulgence reasons. I wanted to explore the gang's relationships through a softer, albeit complicated, lens.

These designs I have for them are versions of them in their mid to late 20s. They did have a phase where they all wore their signature matching hoodies, but I place that timeline somewhere in their early twenties to late teens. In the Stay au, I'm focusing on them mostly in their late 20s onwards.

Brief summary of their history before my timeline: Edd was friends with Tord first, because during their first day of school he was the only other kid who was drawing by himself instead of outside during recess. Tom and Matt are childhood friends, their parents knew each other but they had a falling out, only later-hesitantly- reconciling when they all became friends with Edd and Tord. They all grow up together afterwards. Since you asked about Tord's point of view, here's his thoughts about his friends throughout the years until his 30s, keep in mind I'm not gonna be able to explain it thoroughly enough without it devolving into a 200k word fanfic: Edd - (childhood to late 20s) Arguably his best friend. He thinks the world of Edd since he approached him first and showed genuine interest in getting to know him. Edd's the first person he made friends with in England, which makes it special since the move had been so jarring for him. Growing up with Edd was pretty easy, despite him being snarky at times he always made sure to include Tord in everything he did, it was touching how much he cared. Tord had never met a person who was as excitable as Edd was, even if it often led to harrowing situations. Edd always seemed to want him to be part of his life for a very long time, it was the first time Tord had ever felt like someone cared and wanted him to be there. It pained him to leave when he did, out of everyone in the group, Edd was the one he couldn't look in the eye when he left. (30s) He had cut off contact with the group, but he still felt guilty the first few years when Edd would try to call or send him emails. He switched his phone number and abandoned his old email to make it easier. (mid 30s) Met him again but on the battlefield. It hurt him a lot to see him there after he tried everything to not get them involved. He never got to explain himself as a bomb, aimed for him, came screaming towards them. He thought Edd had died that day. (late 30s) Found out that Edd was alive, tried everything to reach him, even so far as visit England under pretense of a meeting with the PM. Found Edd after scouring London for a week, got into a fight with him, couldn't explain himself due to being overwhelmed. Edd said he hated him. It shattered him. Hasn't contacted him since. Tom - (childhood to late 20s) He wasn't sure about him when they first met, Tom got pretty attached to Edd when he first met him- mostly to make Matt jealous at the start, but then he started to genuinely like Edd and follow him around like a puppy- this caused Tord to get jealous and insecure, his kid brain thinking that Tom would take away his first friend in a scary new country, thus began what would become a lifetime of bickering and fighting. Tord admittedly feels a bit ashamed that he started their petty squabbling by essentially trying to bully Tom away from Edd. Of course, Tom fought back every step of the way, by the time they were teenagers they forgot why they started disliking each other in the first place, just seemed natural for them to be on opposing ends. Funky teenager stuff happened, and it ended up with them being on again off again lovers up until their early 20s. Then the incident happened, Tom was drunk and he decided to pick a fight with him, but this time he might have pushed too far, Tom managed to injure him with a broken bottle, causing the scar on his eyebrow. It was tense between them for a while, eventually they stopped fighting, sometimes even curling up together on the couch, but they never addressed what happened even when Tord was going to leave. (mid 30s) Met him on the battlefield. The bomb happened. He managed to save him but Tom still got injured in the process, costing his eyesight. Tord had been beside himself and wracked with guilt every time he looked at Tom's bandaged eyes. He broke down crying, apologizing for what happened. Tom didn't speak to him for a while, but later on slowly began to talk to him again. They restarted their relationship, this time "without the baggage" as per Tom's request.

(late 30s) His relationship with Tom is nice, cozy even, but he still feels guilt and shame even when Tom smiles at him and calls him "Elskede". He tries to make it work, but he doesn't know if he genuinely can, Tom wanted to try again "without the baggage" but Tord wanted nothing more than to finally address all of the ugly things they had done to each other. Though, hes scared of losing the only good thing he seems to have at this point. Matt - (childhood to late 20s) He's not as close to Matt than the other two are. When they were kids, Matt didn't seem to really want to be in his company, especially after he made up with Tom and Tord started antagonizing him throughout the years. Tord might have been a little scared of Matt, especially when he would glare at him every time he made Tom cry. He really didn't want to be around Matt for a while, he was a bit intimidating from their childhood to their early 20s. After the incident with Tom, Matt had been the one to approach him first, scolding him for the things he said, but relenting about how far Tom had taken it. Matt admitted he never really liked Tord, but was willing to set his feelings aside because it seemed like he finally got some sense knocked into him (pun intended). Unexpectedly, he would spend sleepless nights out in the backyard with Matt, and just...talk about the things that worry him and make him insecure. Matt is really good at self-love talk, and has helped him through darker moments. Matt had actually been the one to encourage him to leave, not because he didn't like him, but somehow Matt understood he couldn't grow into "himself" if he was just stuck there in London, it wasn't healthy for him to be stagnant, and Matt understood that. He was the only one whose eyes he could meet when he left, Matt had looked sad, but he smiled at him nonetheless. (mid 30s) Met him again but on the battlefield. The bomb hit. Matt had been the most mutilated out of all of them, but Tord managed to save him. Matt was in a coma for a while, leading Tord down a depressive spiral, worried that Matt would never come to. He spent almost every day visiting his ward, just to stand watch for a few hours and talk to him. (late 30s) Matt eventually woke up, but with complications, his memory became shoddy and mostly jumbled. He remembers things sometimes, but sometimes he doesn't. This became something of a heavy point of guilt for Tord, and he became extremely devastated when Matt forgot him. While true that he didn't become close with Matt in their early years, he treasured the moments he managed to have with him later on. Now he was back to being a stranger. It felt like he had lost Matt on that battlefield anyway.

[enlighten3d]

so my second ask lmao. random oc things for i thought about them yesterday in class for too long tehehee

-Janette ended up in the city and lived with Josh for like, a couple months while she was getting settled and during that time she gave herself a buzzcut and fucked up (its ok she got a proper one later ajdhsk)

-Janette drunk a LOT of alcohol in her late twenties/early 30’s when she was in the city and now she is very careful about how much she drinks

-Josh tried embroidery and failed miserably (i’m projecting i can’t do embroidery/silly)

-Adele tried stand up comedy ONCE. since her friends dared her too. did not go well

Also. you said yesterday that you thought about c!adele and o!adele switching places and i have some thoughts on thaaat

Basically C!Adele would be mostly confused on why janette isn’t trying to kill her and even more confused when josh is like ‘hiii <3’ and gives her a hug like a normal one. not a awkward on both sides hug.

And O!Adele she would be STRUGGLING. She’d just keep asking ‘what did I do??’ which wouldn’t make any of the situations she ends up in any better andgsjhd

hi lark from a week ago;; thank you for the random oc things

janette with a buzzcut..... thats insane /pos. also janette and josh roommates ??? yo ?? 0: djfjd

yeah, rhats real of her... shes Learnt...

HE FAILED;; oh i feel bad for him bcs hes just a bit silly.. hed feel absolutely horrible about being bad at it and;; i hate rhat nothing sbout josh can ever be not sad (/silly and /pos actually. i love him but his suffering is delicious)

OH MY GODS ADELE DOING STANDUP. THAT WOULD BE HORRIBLE AUDJDJZJDFHS. shed be one of those standup people thst had the punchljnrs to alll their joked be violence and/or insanely convoluted to the point where theyre not even funny shfndj (to me at least)

!! oh ive thought SO much abt this too actually..

.. honestly. honestly. 'I'm a Serial Killer Who Ended Up in an Alternate Universe Where People Love Me?' (dont know if shes actually necessarily a serial killer; it just Fits). yeah thats adele but the thing is that THIS SOUNDS LIKE ONE OF THOSE ISEKAI WEB/LIGHT NOVELS THAT HAVE WAYYYYY TOO LONG TKTLES WJDJKXDJSK im noy wrong.. but also fr, she better ruin thst relationship ad fast as possible; c!adele does NOT deserve o!josh and o!janette (actually she doesnt deserve their c! counterpsrts eother, esp josh..)

NOOO O!ADELE.. THATS JUST SAD MATE. FUCKING SAD. "what did i do though??" IT JUST SEEMS LIKE SHES TRUING TO MANIPULATE NOOOOOO. NO. NO. THATS SO FUCKED UP BCS SHE SJUST CONFISED BUT HER PARTNERS AND LITERALLY EVERYONE HATES HER AND SHE DOESNT KNOW WHH.. (o!adele is definitely not a good person; she is a cop (im assuming thst doeent change? if it does, then i take this wjole statement back). but shes not WHATEVER THE FUCK C!ADELE OS...). no thsts not okay aaaaaa (/pos to all of this ahfjsjfk)

;;;;;;;;

[raspberryslut]

got wine drunk with my mom and talked with her about capital R Relationship problem for the first time since i was probably 17 and then ate wayyyyy too much food 💘 oh the end of this sentence was that i over-caloried and had to lay down on the ground

[pretendstoread]

i smoked a cigarette and i wasnt even that drunk

there were a few things i wanted to write about today but theyre lost to me now and i wish i at least wrote down the general Idea. but i've at least noticed that ive been actively Indulging in more...taboo? things i wouldn't normally or were too scared to try. i've smoked two cigarettes this summer (woah!), had two shroom trips (WOAH!), had sex with a man for the first time (JEEZ!!), i'm smoking weed more often (hmmm....), and i'm thinking of testing the waters with (recreational?) adderall. this is not to say that i'm going downhill, or self sabotaging, or actively trying to harm myself and others. in fact, i quite like this sort of indulgence i'm in. let me do some unhealthy things right now. i don't think i Deserve it but i just....idk...i kinda need it?

i've always been in this need for control--to have it, to be in it. it's very hard to do new things that way because i don't know what i'm getting into. i'm at the whimsy of the uncomfortable zone. i focus too much on the potential negative of a situation: i'm going to have a bad trip, i'm going to make a bad drawing, i'm going to humiliate myself because i am New To This. and that's where i lack grace and freedom and embracing the Fun of being new.

it sucks that being new at something, trying new things, meeting new people, putting yourself out there in some capacity makes me feel like a burden. if i'm not the responsibility of someone else (i.e. a supervising coworker, a babysitting friend, an experienced lover) then i'm a burden to my own ego. even if i'm alone in my room trying to shake my ass i still feel incredibly embarrassed by my own reflection. seeing such failure (seeing my own body) is maybe worse than sharing it with someone else. there's a humor in that vulnerability that brings me closer to whoever i'm sharing that with: coughing while smoking a cig, readjusting on a dick, spilling a nutcracker in your hair while tripping on the beach are all moments that, while silly and messy and unprepared, bring me closer with the person on the other side of that. it shows a little bit of humanity and humility.

that is not extended to moments with myself though. i dont really know how to fully explain it. maybe it's some degree of not being comfortable with myself or perfectionist problems i have and self-perception etc etc etc. but have you ever failed yourself so hard you don't even want to try again? there is no one else to laugh along with you or reassure you or empathize. when i fail myself, I Fail Myself. yknow? ehhh not really something i want to think about further.

random things i have Happy Feelings for:

came home last night after being in a weed comatose at nat's and hammered nails into my walls so i can hang my belts. it was a random spurt of energy that got something i wanted done but for some reason never tried to do in my free time (i realize i am wayyyyy too adaptable to my own traps of inconvenience. i put the bag of toiletries in my room to Force Me to unpack them and ultimately left it in the way for a couple weeks before just stuffing the whole bag in the closet.)

really liked todays episode of the sopranos: s1e12. junior and tony both deal with mortality in different ways. not much more to say on it right now

also between this episode ^ (isabella the madonna hallucination), honestly themes of the show in general, and watching contrapoints content i've gotten a little interested in reading more about freud LOL. he kinda makes a lot of points??? like we all know this we're just freaked out about the mommy sex stuff. there's a tangent contra video on gamergate and an article she sourced talked about Gamers feeling threatened about their Space, their Games, being taken away by The Woke Mob--AKA women, aka MOMMY. the looming fear of mom coming in your room and saying it's time to stop playing. getting grounded and no video games for a week. mom said it's my turn to use the xbox. that fear recurring in these sad adult men being forced to look at their own flaws. their lack of perspective. stupid sluts coming in and ruining the fun, taking away our games. i found that psychoanalytic perspective reallllllyyyyy interesting

finding a new perspective on chores and self care: there's no rush with it. this is not a thing that needs to be Taken Care Of right this second. my whole evening should be dedicated to doing things on My Terms. i spend 40 hours of my week, every week, doing things on another entity's terms. i do shit when i wanna!!!! and it's for ME!!!!

[bornfrustrated]

Too much love for these guys. 

Full moon party, Koh Phangan

[hakkais-hoe]

Random Headcannons Part 2

Back by popular demand loves 😂

Age Rating: same as p.1 take it all with a pinch of salt n don’t get offended (:

These span throughout the time lines

Man some of these are weird af

Pt.1

▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️

Ran chopped his hair off cos Sanzu got chewing gum in it (he cried throughout he was very proud of his hair)

Kakucho didn’t have his first kiss till 18 when he was in a club n some random drunk girl grabbed him n smacked one on, he was shocked for a good half hour

Kokonoi can’t drink whiskey for the life in him, gets absolutely fucked off one glass

Sanzu shots or downs any drink even if it’s just a bottle of juice or coffee

Takemitchy cry’s at all the John Lewis adverts

Hanma once unironically told you to call him “daddy” in public 💀

Takeomi eats copious amounts of cheap nasty tasting chocolates when he’s stressed

Sanzu once found Rindous orange stash in his office draw n ate them all, Rindou raised absolute hell n shot Sanzu in the foot 3 times before making him go buy new ones

Kokonoi hates dogs says they’re too noisy for him even if they’re silent

Draken keeps pictures of people he cares about in he wallet, has one of those picture things that fold out into like 100 plastic holder things

Inupi is scared of spiders, like he will scream his lungs out n climb on furniture to get away before he rings someone to help him

Shion has chinchillas

Pehs apartment is in the same complex as Pahs

The Kawata twins once died their hair opposite colours to freak people out but no one noticed

Taiju has wayyyyy too many crosses in his house

Sanzu once found a dog outside durin one of his highs n took it home, woke up the next day to a very large rat sat on top of him, he screamed the house down

All of the ex Tenjiku members still get extreme second hand embarrassment when Ran n Kakucho are together 😭 iykyk

Mochi actually hates mochi like despise it especially matcha flavoured ones

Chifuyu is actually allergic to parrots so they hardly ever have them in the pet shop

Baby Mitsuya shaved his own hair when he went to get his dragon tattoo

Senju cut her own fringe n Takeomi had a melt down n tried to stick the hair back on with tape

Wakasa eats way too much candy nd ends up with cavities that need filling every time he visits the dentist

Koko orders food every single day he never cooks, mainly because he can’t

Sanzu once filled the water in the Bonten meeting room with laxatives before a very long meeting

Hakkai never sits well when Mitsuya is trying to cut his hair pattern in, fidgets like a wo 24/7

Nahoya smiles even when he’s sleeping, very freaky

Draken has a massive obsession with giraffes, he’ll never tell anyone but he’s had a toy giraffe since he was a baby that he keeps under his bed during the day

Izana went through hoe faze like a biggggg one

Inupi tried to show some of the second gen Toman how to walk in heels

Shinichiro couldn’t pull because Wakasa was there 24/7

Koko and Inupi have a tiny matching tattoo on their ribs, just a tiny delicate one liner of each others initials (in a completely platonic way)

Ran also has a Haitani Obsession, it’s lemons water, he has a bowl full of fresh lemons in his house and office, he caries around a bottle all day everyday with freshly made lemon water in it, even in Bontens meetings, he even had one with him during all his past fights

The Haitani’s were raised by their grandparents, like I think their parents are alive n that but they just done want to deal with them so they send them off to their grandparents n now they’re older they just buy them an apartment to live in so they don’t have to deal with them

Shion n Peh are both ‘trust fund babies’

Takeomi is really, really stingy with his money 😭 Ik we like to think he’d spoil people but fr this man will it get his black card out for anything!! Tight git

Rindou plays with stray cats all the time, he really likes their toe beans too

Angry had tow pet hamsters but one of them ate the other 💀 (found out this happens more than anyone wants to admit)

Taiju has a whole fucking aquarium in his house and restaurant

Yuzuha still sends Taiju Christmas and birthday cards

Children absolutely love the bonten trio for their loud hair colours

Inupi seems really aloof n nice but he’s actually the biggest dickhead when he’s around the others

Shion cried during Encanto cos he “relates” to Mirabell as the odd one out in all the gangs 🙄(he’s just weak rly so he’s a sour boy)

Izana was known for never even acknowledging stupid questions, just ignored or got rid of the moron

Speakin of Izana we know he has a soft spot for Kaku but I think he has one for Shion too, hear me out, he knew he was weak cos he saw him loose to Toman durin 9th gen but he still brought him to Tenjiku 😭 Izana was a softie rly or he needed a token charity case

Ran got mistaken for a girl way too many times in prison when he had his hair down so he saw his fair share of fights in there, ofc Rindou n the others joined in

Takemitchy once let Hina wax his leg hair💀 she only got through one strip before he cried

Rindou and Mikey are both maladaptive daydreamers

Sanzu is a raging narcissist challenged with an unbridled inferiority complex and a very high need to be liked (by mikey)

Koko on the other hand in also a raging narcissist however he has a malevolent god complex

Mikey has a god complex coupled with a minor inferior complex and extreme unbridled rage

Ran n Rin are just crackheads with no sense of self preservation they can and will leap off a bridge into ice water if dared

Mochi is very tired please give this man a raise

All of the 1st gen black dragons through Wakasa was a girl for a solid month till he whipped his top off I front of em, Shinichiro almost had a heart attack n tried to cover him up 🤦‍♀️

▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️

This is way longer than I meant it to be but it is what it is ;)

Taglist: @soushswag @pervitoshi @roppongiperfume @loonashadow @bontensbabygirl @haitink @wakasagurl @sunahyejin @reiners-milkbiddies

[yaz-the-spaz]

“pAYNt” “zAYN” not Payne lol Also I guess Ziams are gonna pretend Liam’s interview with Logan Paul doesn’t exist. Nothing about what he says indicates they’re a couple and if they are it’s not a healthy relationships. Why would Liam speak about not being able to reach out tonhis supposed partner

look feel free to believe that, no one's stopping you (just like no one's stopping me from believing what I believe) just as long as you're also willing to acknowledge that that same merch:

had L's all over it - a pretty interesting coincidence/choice given all the possible letters he could've chosen out of the entire alphabet, including the one his own name starts with which would've made a hell of a lot more sense too if paynt really was just zayn+paint

had colors highly associated with zayn & liam - band colors which zayn clearly still associates himself to or he wouldn't have named his album yellow metal, not to mention the fact that after watching this fandom for almost 12 damn years I'm pretty sure he's very aware of the fact that ziam fans often post yellow and red hearts to signify them and you would think if he didn't wanna fuel rumors he would've picked literally any other combination of colors out of the rainbow. and yet.

sectioned off the words in the block/square t-shirt design so that the 'payn' part stood alone - lol does this honestly even need further explanation like ??

was released exclusively during pride month of all months which should be a MAJOR 👀 👀👀 to anyone in the queer community (esp given the rampant rumors about zayn's sexuality) - and again needs no further explanation imo

immediately followed all this up days later by wearing the merch, again full of liam connections, while performing a snippet of a song he famously dueted with liam on, that liam also literally has a line from permanently tattooed on his body - again, he's watched the fandom for 12 years you think he hasn't seen ppl toting this song as a ziam anthem? or that he didn't see any of the comments about the merch? you truly think he has zero awareness of how this all looks together? you really think the song choice means absolutely nothing to either of them when liam got a line from it permanently inked into into his skin and zayn even put a refrain of it in one of his own songs on icarus falls? when they literally dueted/harmonized on it live almost every night for like two years? when liam cried the first time they had to perform it without zayn? all the possible songs zayn could've chosen to show off his famous high notes and he choses the one with THE MOST ziam history right smack in the middle of the entire internet dragging liam to hell and i'm supposed to believe that means absolutely nothing?? nah fam.

(I'm not even gonna get into the fact that liam was drunk and looked super uncomfortable or that that asshat, l0g4n p@ul, would do literally anything for clicks or that liam's team let liam - someone with a known drinking problem - continue to drink during the interview just to get through it cause all that's been hashed and re-hashed and should be a MAJOR red flag that something's not right to anyone paying an iota of attention)

go on believing it has nothing to do with liam if you want, but that's a hell of a lot of overlapping coincidences to really just be all coincidences in my book. once is an accident, twice is a coincidence, three times is a pattern. and this is wayyyyy more than three times, especially when you consider all the other big weirdly suspicious things they've been caught doing that link to each other

i mean if these are really all coincidences and they truly hate each other and don't talk or have any kind of connection/relationship with each other then i guess it's also just another big ol' coincidence that...

they both seem to really, really love the number 25 for some odd reason

or that they both seem weirdly dedicated to maintaining eyebrow slits even 10 whole years after they first started the trend between each other in 2012, despite the fact that they supposedly don't even talk anymore

2012

vs.

2015-2022 (and these are just a few of them btw, there's so many more)

or that the "e" in zayn's liam m.o.m. tattoo just so happens to double as an "a" in a way that makes it look suspiciously like it spells out liam

or that zayn just so happened to get an exact replica of the album artwork from liam's first single tattooed on his hand

[putting the rest under the cut cause this got wayyyy long]

or that liam just so happened to get/debut the 4 tattoo on his RING finger (RING!!) within days after pillowtalk was released and originally stylized as "PiLlOwT4lK" with a 4

or that neither the boys nor their families or friends/colleagues seem to be able to stop further fueling rumors by continuously interacting with, liking, and reposting from ziams:

x, x, x, x, x, x

...seriously there are soooo many instances of this and this is just the tip of the iceberg (i unfortunately reached my pic limit for this post but if i included even just a fraction of them this post would be 5 thousand miles long). honestly, if they all think we're just delusional crazies & weirdos why would they keep interacting with us and our posts? even when they're not even tagged (meaning they likely went looking for them)? and especially when so many of these posts are blatantly romantic/sexual and/or outright disrespectful to the women they're supposedly actually dating? (if you don't care to click i'll just go ahead and tell you that most of these literally have hashtags like #ziamisreal or #zerrieisfake/#zigiisfake, etc. plain as day and/or talk about ziam being queer/gay, coming out, and/or are edits of them literally in a very sexual or romantic pose with each other, i.e. things that cannot be interpreted any other way other than that they're queer as hell, their public relationships are fake as hell, and their families know it - i may reblog this with more pics later though for posterity if i have the time)

let's also not forget that twice now liam has spoken as if he's already married despite very much not being married (publicly anyway) and that zayn got a marriage poem tattoed despite also not being married and even being publicly single at the time - x, x, x

and don't even get me started on the damn cartier bracelets that they were both spotted wearing multiple times that were never connected to and/or seen on their respective girlfriends at the time

i mean at a certain point you literally gotta admit there's at least SOMETHING going on even if it's not a romantic relationship cause you honestly cannot make this stuff up, THIS IS TOO DAMN MANY "COINCIDENCES" TO BE GENUINE COINCIDENCES.

there's also tons of proof that most celebrity interviews are at least partially scripted and that people like liam are heavily media trained to make sure they stick to very specific pre-defined talking points (rebecca ferguson and the jonas brothers have talked about this - x, x). if you choose to believe everything in that interview was genuine and that it's a sign of a non-existent or unhealthy relationship, that's your choice. but as someone who's been in this fandom for almost a decade at this point, this is not the first time (and sadly probably won't be the last) that I've seen one of the boys outright lie on camera or seemingly do a complete personality 180 after saying/doing something totally different many times in the past.

do you know how many times various members of this boyband have said on camera that they don't talk to each other only to then turn around and say they never fell out of contact/never stopped being friends? it's truly baffling to me that anyone even believes that bs anymore with there is not only a literal mountain of evidence proving otherwise, but also plenty of admissions from the boys' own mouths themselves of this not actually being the case. so no, liam speaking about "not being able to reach out to his supposed partner" is not at all surprising to me. louis and harry had the same narrative not too long ago. so did zayn vs. the rest of ot4. and yet we have harry on camera recently admitting that they're all still friends and never had a falling out. this was of course followed up by liam calling zayn his "brother" which you can take how you will (he's obviously not gonna publicly call zayn his partner/husband/etc. when they're not out and when the majority of the fandom/gp still believes their relationship to be a bromance) but that's a pretty strange word choice to use for two people who aren't friends and aren't even in contact, so that alone should tell you something weird is up - if the giant trail of breadcrumbs already illustrated above somehow doesn't, that is.

furthermore, out of the hundreds of times liam's talked about zayn, he has almost always only ever had good things to say. there have literally only been about three notable instances where he's had something seemingly negative to say and at least two of those times happened in the company of extremely sketchy men who are known for doing literally anything for clicks (and during times where ziam rumors were reaching a fever pitch and it looked like someone was gunning for damage control). so excuse me if I choose to instead put my stock in the hundreds of other times where liam has only had nice things to say about zayn instead of the couple of weird times where he said something totally and completely out of character, and to pay more attention to all the million other things they do that say there is something going on between them.

again, you don't have to believe it's a romantic relationship, but at the very least you gotta suspect that you're being lied to about something because there is absolutely no way to explain most of this away. i mean this is stuff that has continued for OVER a decade, during most of which we were meant to believe they don't even speak to each other and you mean to tell me that the both of them have this many weird coincidences/linkages between them? (and these are only a few of the really big ones btw, not even getting to all the other smaller things!) and not only that but both them, their families, and their colleagues continue to show public support to the creepy weirdos online who supposedly constantly disrespect them and their relationships? like MAKE IT MAKE SENSE. either we're weird and delusional (in which case you would think they would've started ignoring us a long time ago). or we're onto something.

...I know what I believe ✌🏽🏳️‍🌈

[lhecxzsaisgay]

Drunk - Scarlett Johansson

Angsty all the wayyyyy

: aren't you enough?

~~~~~~~~~~

"Am i not enough?" You ask, more to yourself than to Scarlett, who is Infront of you, begging for forgiveness, trying to find any valid reasons as to why she was seen out, drunk in a club, kissing a girl you barely knew.

~~~~~~~~~~

You don't know what you did wrong, or all the things that you've done for her was just not enough to make her be contented with you.

That night was supposed to be your date night, she's been so busy for a long month, and yesterday, you both had decided to have a date night. She insisted it, not you, but you're more than happy that she finally had time for you.

She said she was just going to the set to fix something with her co-workers, and that she'll be back within an hour or two.

1 hour.

2 hour.

3 hour.

4 hour.

And so on, she's still has not came back. Your favorite restaurant, where she had called in for a reservation, called you, asking if they should just cancel it. You beg them for another hour or two, but even within those hours, Scarlett hasn't came back, so you just gave up.

You were all ready, you were wearing the dress she had bought you last summer, saying you would look like a goddess wearing it. You put your best make up on, making sure that you are as beautiful as ever, only for it to be ruined.

You already change into a more comfortable clothes, but you still have your makeup on.

Mascara running down your cheeks, mixing with your salty tears as you look at the screen of your cellphone. The sobs and whimpers that your red lips let out filled the air. With shaky hands, you called her, Scarlett.

Scarlett, who decided to get drunk with her friends, and got seduced by someone. Scarlett, who completely forgotten about the date she promised you. Scarlett, who forgotten about everything that she promised you.

"I promise, i won't hurt you, like they do."

"I promise to treat you better, and give you what you deserve."

"I promise....I promise....I promise...."

She broke those promises, just like how she broke you heart.

~~~~~~~~~~

"Please, baby-" She tried to talk, but you won't let her. You don't want her to talk. The pictures, and the things she did that night is enough to for you.

"Don't baby me, Scarlett. I did everything, EVERYTHING, for this relationship, i didn't complain about how you're always busy, about how close you are to almost ignoring me, i didn't complain to you about the date nights you had missed, i didn't complain to you when you want me to do something, i didn't fucking complain to you when you left me alone in a restaurant, just because you have to do something. I fucking love you with all my heart, Scarlett, and i know you know that. You promised you will never broke my heart like my ex's did to me, you promised me that you won't fucking hurt me." You let out, sobbing as you did so.

She tried to reach out for you, not having anything to say, because she can't find any words to say to you. Guilty rushing through every veins she has, her heart shattering as she watched you cry, with your shaking body infront of her.

She didn't want any of this, she didn't even know how it got to this.

"Please, im sorry, im sor-" She once again, tried, only to fail as you push her hands away.

"You're sorry will not change anything Scarlett, what's done is done. And im fucking done with you, i don't want to be just you chore-"

"Don't say that, Y/n, you're not a chore-"

"Well it feels like it, im done Scarlett. If im not enough, im sorry, but im so tired with this one sided relationship. I'm sorry if didn't gave you what you wanted, im sorry if she gave you something more than i do."

You're not done.

You want to fight, and clearly, she wants too.

But you're too tired, and she's too scared that if she does something, it might hurt you more than you already had. She wanted to give you some time, and then she will explain and apologize to you, even if it take you many years to forgive her, she will still continue and do everything, but you left.

[laf-outloud]

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/laf-outloud/692685702987677696?source=share

Sorry, I was rage typing that so I missed some things lol. I'll also just add that, at least for me and my friend, it wasn't something we understood was happening as it was happening. We both just thought we somehow got WAYYYYY more drunk than we intended too even though we hadn't drank any more than we would've on a night out. We basically both just looked like sloppy drunks from an outside appearance, like if someone had run into us they probably just thought we couldn't handle our alcohol. We were a mess. And honestly, had we not left the bar when we did (the poor cab driver...) I don't know how we would have reacted around other people. You just feel like you have no control over yourself. But the next day we both just felt... off. And way worse than a hangover. We'd had our share of hangovers and this was different. I don't really know how to explain it if you haven't experienced it (and I hope none of you do experience it, even rude anon). It wasn't til we talked and realized we both had this feeling that something wasn't right that we put two and two together. So if Jared, or anyone, says that something was off, something was different and they think they may have been drugged? I believe them. It's hard to explain and hard to express so I understand not realizing it happened right away. It's also a drug that purposefully makes you forget, hence why it doesn't always even register right away that it happened.

Thank you for letting me vent and rant. I just cannot stand people who just jump to "oh they're lying." It invalidates so many people, myself included.

No worries on the rage typing. I can completely understand.

I'm glad you shared your story. I've never been in either situation, so it's not something I would have been able to explain to anon. I hope they're still reading and can understand that circumstances are not as black and white as they appear to be, and that a little compassion and understanding goes a long way (rather than immediately jumping to the standard Jared hating rhetoric.)

[peakywitch]

mourning my teenage years

In two weeks, almost exactly two weeks, my first -and last- kiss is going to turn 4 years. It was the 27th of January, it was late. He was -almost- two heads taller than me, he had a mischievous look, a thick frown on his face and rosy lips. Broad shoulders, and soft hands.

Four years of my first kiss.

I was seventeen.

I’m turning twenty-one on Tuesday.

In four days.

Two weeks ago, or so, I had a therapy session in which I broke down while speaking the following words: “I can’t remember the last time I was called pretty in a romantic way…” and I finished that sentence choking. But it wasn’t lack of air, it was the excessive amount of pain I have had in my heart for years. It bubbled up, I couldn’t stop the sobbing, I’ve been crying non-stop after that.

I once waited outside a bathroom at a club for forty-five minutes, my friend was having sex with another girl. I waited outside, looking around me, seeing everyone holding someone close to them, kissing, sharing drinks and secret touches as some dude spilt drink in my black Skechers.

Forty-five minutes.

That’s also the amount of time that takes me to get ready because I have to plan everything.

“use the red Maybelline lipstick, the one that stays on through anything… what if someone wants to kiss you?” but they never do, the only way I know it stays on is because of the number of Desperados I’ve drunk with it on my lips. Shade eighty, pioneer.

“don’t wear blush, you get blushed naturally, you don’t want chubby cheeks, mar, you don’t wanna look sweaty and… gross.” I can look so fucking put together, you would never think I even cry, but I feel like shit and I try to make myself smaller by every second.

Smaller.

“put on contour, your face is too fucking round, you look like a fucking potato, no one would kiss a potato” and god damn it, I DO end up looking good.

My outfit, my perfume, my makeup, my hair… but when never notices anything, no one looks your way, no one smiles at you, you know that there is something that you’re not changing.

Your. Fucking. Weight.

And I keep telling myself “someone will love me the way I am, stomach and back rolls, big arms, thick thighs…”

But remember, words stick with you- when I was 14 I got told “you have to lose weight for me to be proud of you, so we can walk together.”

No one ever held my hand on the street, I never went on a date, there are so many “I never” that I could drown myself in there.

If a person that supposedly loves you tells you that you have to be skinnier so they could “show you off” and you said “no”, you’d think that it would never affect you, right?

“There are people that love me for who I am”

One year goes by.

Then two.

You’re sixteen. All your friends have had sex. You still haven’t kissed a boy. Or a girl, for that matter.

And you remember those words too well: proud. Skinnier. Publicly.

As if you were someone to be ashamed of.

One year goes by, you have a small enemies to lovers with a boy you doubt you’ll ever see again.

But they held your hand. In a backyard, at night.

You know you don’t want to meet “your person” on a club night.

But there’s always that fucking hope, that is dim. Like that fucking stupid candle in Encanto, that is always sparkling no matter how loud the house gets.

Stop thinking, no one will want to kiss you tonight. You’re wasting your favourite lipstick. Why are you even putting make-up on? “For you”? fucking liar. You want someone looking your way, you attention whore. Don’t you understand that people are ashamed of you?

No, they’re not.

Yes, they fucking are. If not, how would you explain you’re still here, like an idiot, expecting someone to like you?

Someone once did.

Yeah, have you seen their girlfriend now? He’s wayyyyy out of your league now.

This is all your fucking fault, mar, for reading books. High expectations? My balls, you fuck everything up.

I don’t.

You do, Mar. You do. You are afraid, so you fuck everything up, you are always the fucking buddy.

I’m not, I’m just a nice person.

No, stop lying to yourself. You are a bitch, a lot of the time. You're afraid of someone leaving you, again.

That time it wasn’t my fault, they-

What if next time is?

… that’s always the question with me. “What if next time?”

What if next time someone smiles at you? What if next time there is someone genuinely attracted to you? What if next time? What if next time? So many possible next times. So many possible scenarios. So many disappointments. Because I know I keep thinking “it will be different this time.” And it never, ever is. I always stay outside a bathroom, or holding a bucket, or taking care of someone.

And suddenly, you’re twenty, and you’re no longer a teenager. And you never experienced that teenage love, where they could leave school with you l if you had the same hours, and you could go have lunch, or have a coffee in the afternoon. You could go to their home to “study”. So many could.

And suddenly, you don’t want sex. Or to be touched sexually. Or to kiss until your lips start to ache.

Suddenly, you find yourself stroking your own hair at midnight, trying to sleep because you’re touch-deprived. You find yourself crying because you think your grandma -who will most likely die in the following year- will never get to know your partner.

Fuck your dad, he didn’t raise you. Your grandma did.

And this whole fucking list of things to mourn starts to pile.

And you’re so terribly happy for your friends, you happy you could cry. But that cry would hide so much envy and pain. And you know they deserve who they have by their sides: two of your girlfriends have the best two boys you could ask for them.

But something is not right. And I know what that is. That hollow feeling. Burning and freezing you to death. Hearing all your friends talking about their partners. And you still haven’t seen a fucking dick. Hell, you kissed ONCE. So you stay still in a corner, trying to learn from their mistakes.

And then you whisper to yourself,

Maybe next time, I will be speaking of someone too.

Maybe someone will speak about me to their friends, and maybe they won’t admit the fucking chokehold that we are holding each other on.

And I just want someone to blush if they hear my name and a friendly joke, a small teasing.

feel free to tell your own story, share your thoughts and your sad moments. we will mourn together the person we thought we'd become and never did.

[sweetbbyshion]

could you maybe do the sfw selfship with atsumu?🤧

-definitely not lisa (i'm so sorry i just love reading your selfships lmao)

Blame Lisa for making me do this

SELF SHIP GAME - SFW

-> Atsumu x Kora

Who is the grumpiest in the morning?

Me (^｡^) Atsumu has so much energy when he wakes up, it's out of this world. He wakes up wayyyyy before me for a morning run and comes back just when i'm about to wake up. he always hugs me, all sweaty and disgusting and that way i'm forced to take a shower with him. sneaky motherfucker.

Who worried more when the other is sick/hurt?

ATSUMU IS SO DRAMATIC. If I sneeze once he instantly thinks I'm dying. He worries so much. Specially if he has practice or is away. He always facetimes me and makes sure I'm eating well and taking care of myself.

Who plays pranks on the other?

BRUHHHHHH, we play pranks on each other but TSUMU IS ALWAYS PRANKING ME. I always plot revenge against him. We also play pranks together on other people (mainly Osamu or Sakusa) and it's so fun.

Who is the first to suggest cuddling on the sofa?

Atsumu (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥) he's so clingy that every time we have some time to spend together, he's dragging me to the couch and forcing me to play with his hair while his head rests on my chest. It's a very intimate moment that only lasts like 10 minutes because Atsumu can't stay still for more than that.

Who insists on creating nicknames for the other?

We both like to create nicknames for the other but Tsumu takes it to another level. I don't think he even remembers what my real name is anymore.

Who says "I love you" first?

Atsumu says I love you just a couple of weeks after we start dating. He's very straightforward with his feelings and isn't scared to voice them. It took me a little longer to say it back but he never pushed me or got sad whenever I didn't say it back.

Who's the messiest one?

Besties, I'm super messy BUT ATSUMU? God, our apartment is Kiyoomi's nightmare. He comes to clean our apartment whenever he's stressed and needs to clean something.

Who feels the most uncomfortable about PDA?

Neither. We love it. Nothing over the top, obviously, but we're disgusting enough that Osamu wants to kill us every time we go out with him.

Who's the funniest drunk?

GUYS PLEASE, TSUM TSUM IS SO FUNNY WHEN HE'S DRUNK. He turns into a stripper, I'm not even kidding. I always have to stop him from taking all of his clothes off. He's also the type of guy that forgets I'm his girlfriend when he's drunk and then cries when I tell him I'm actually his girlfriend.

Who texts the most?

I text the most but only because Atsumu isn't allowed to have his phone during practices. Otherwise he would be texting me nonstop, all day.

Who has the most embarrassing taste in music?

Atsumu. Even Osamu agrees with me. He's the type of guy that listens to country music and enjoys it. He also listens to tiktok songs and dances to them.

Who reads the most?

I don't think I ever saw Atsumu with a book in his hand BUT he does read fanfics about him.

Who's better with kids?

LMAOOO Tsumu 100%. Kids love him and he loves them. Always nagging me about having a baby and how an amazing father he would be (it's true though).

Who's the one that fixes things around the house?

Neither. After Atsumu tried to fix our sink and ended up making it worse, Osamu forbid us from going anywhere near something broken. So we just call someone to fix it.

Who cooks and who cleans up?

Osamu cooks (Atsumu is better at baking) and me and Atsumu usually clean (if we're not feeling too lazy)

[truthundressing]

*whispers* what are your favourite footballer louis aus shhhhhh

i have wayyyyy too many but here are a few i love!!

I Wanna Be Alright With My Baby Tonight by graceling_in_a_suit

Harry Styles' university football team (Go Queers!) is on a losing streak, and so is his love life. Louis Tomlinson—a fellow trans man and the team's new co-captain—might just be able to help with both.

You Could Give That Aspirin the Headache of Its Life by  LetTheMusicMoveYou

Louis had once heard that the chances of being struck by lightning are 1 in 700,000. He wonders now, how those odds compare to randomly being seated next to your ex boyfriend on a 10 hour flight.

Honestly, if the universe is going to insist on ruining his life, he really would have preferred the lightning thing.

(Or the one where Louis is a football player who gets stuck on a flight with his ex-boyfriend Harry. The universe might be conspiring against him, or is it?)

Baby, It's You by  Bearandleonardwrite

"Oh, yeah. Um..” Harry lets his hands fall to his sides. His brows furrow, face full of concern, and he asks, “You’re not, like, stalking me, are you?”

Louis can’t help the loud cackle that escapes his lips and immediately slaps one of his hands over his mouth to muffle the sound. “Oh my god, Harry, no!” Louis tells him, a little breathlessly, giggles still bubbling out of his chest. “Lottie’s one of the makeup artists here today and she somehow got me to agree to come. I had no idea you modeled for, uh.. this brand until I saw you walk.”

“Oh,” Harry says dumbly, eyebrows still pinched. He lets what Louis just said sink in before a bright grin takes over his face and he goes back to doing up the buttons on his shirt. “Well, that’s alright, then. I’m glad you could make it.

(Basically, Louis' a footie player for Man U and Harry's a YSL model. They meet at a masquerade.)

I Still Find You Lovely by angelichl

Reason #37 - Because They Have Air-Conditioning and You Don't

The more he thinks about it, the more he can imagine himself in some bloke’s bed, sweat-free and soaking up the air-conditioning, maybe even curled up under the duvet because he's actually a little cold. The prospect of a reprieve from the heat is even more alluring than the prospect of getting laid. Which may or may not be saying a lot.

“That’s… actually not a bad idea…”

In which Harry goes to a bar in search of a bloke with an air-conditioned flat.

Turning Page by purpledaisy

“What’s your name?”

“Harry.” He draws the word out slowly, hesitantly - like he’s not sure about it. The guy knots his hands behind his back. “Harry Twist.”

“Right,” Niall says, eyes lingering suspiciously on Harry before looking back to Louis. “You wanna buy Harry a drink?”

Louis lets his eyes drip back to Harry, to his wide eyes and the way his shoulders curve down. He really is pretty – Louis will be the first one to admit it and the last one to ever say it out loud. Louis almost smirks and his lips twitch as he tilts his head, “Not particularly, no.”

AU: Harry Styles tries to get lost in a place he’s never been.  Louis Tomlinson has been perfecting the art of being lost for years. What they don’t expect to find is each other.

lock me up with love by  clicheanna

“So you must go out more often than I thought,” Harry said. “I see you all the time now!”

“Well, one of those times you literally came to my door.”

Harry laughed, a loud honking sound, a shock to Louis’ ears. He couldn’t remember the last time he made someone laugh, not so easily and genuine.

Harry didn’t seem embarrassed, but his eyes were hazy, hair a bit mussed up, cheeks red. Oh. He was drunk, or tipsy maybe. That explained a lot.

“That’s true,” he said, then frowned. “Oh no, do I seem like a stalker?”

“Eh,” Louis said, “just a little bit.”

Louis had a messed-up knee, ruined career, and labradoodle to take care of. Harry had a normal knee, perfect career, and concern for his recluse neighbor. Harry's baking skills were enough to bring them together.

[belovedbangtan]

Dive | Part 7 | jjk

<MASTERLIST>

Pairings: Jungkook x y/n, Yoongi x oc

Word Count: 4.1k

Series Description:   Camping with your ex, sounds horrible right? The camping trip was   planned and payed for long before y/n’s shitty boyfriend broke up with   her. Her best friend Abby, Yoongi, Taehyung, Jimin, and Jungkook are   there to make sure she has an amazing time. However, sharing a tent with   a smoke show like Jungkook is bound to lead to some complications.

Chapter Description: Just friends, hmm? After getting a new promotion the crew takes you out for drinks. Will you ever stop having feelings for him? Will he  finally tell you how he really feels?

Warnings:Language, drinking, jungkook being a frickin teaseeeeeee, a leetle drunken confession? 

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Your heels click on the uneven sidewalk as you head to the bar that Abby invited you to. You had been so focused on work and getting a promotion that when you finally did Abby demanded that you celebrate. You couldn’t think of a reason to tell her no, so here you were. Bella’s Bar, a hole in the wall gem. They usually had Karaoke or a band playing, and drinks were affordable. It isn’t until you’re reaching for the rusted handle that you remember the last time you were here. You were with Ben. It was the date you went on just after agreeing to date him. You face scrunches into a disgusted one thinking about that memory.

You walk inside and you’re instantly drawn towards the tall boy with flailing arms, Tae. You widen your eyes and laugh softly to yourself as you walk towards them. Tae pulling you into the tightest hug from behind. You giggle as Jimin squishes you from the front. Both of them telling you how much you deserved your promotion and congratulations.

“Alright… alright jeez. Can I have my best friend please?” Abby groans, pulling Jimin off of you. Tae lets go, but not before leaving a wet kiss on your cheek.

You laugh eyeing them down and taking your best friend into your arms, “How drunk are they?”

“They’ve had a few, but I think they just really like you.” Abby giggles hugging you tight before telling the boys that she was stealing you to go to the ladies’ room.

Once the door closes behind you, Abby’s face turns serious, “Yoongi is on his way with… uhm… Jungkook.” She starts to wash her hands, “That’s okay right?”

Ignoring how your heartbeat quickens, you nod, “Of course, that’s fine. I told you Abby, we’re friends.”

“Yeah, I know that’s what you said but…” She starts to explain, “You still have feelings for him right?”

You cross your arms looking anywhere but at her, “I mean… I guess. But we talked about it. It’s fine.”

Her brows raise and the corner of her mouth starts to lift, “If you say so.”

You shake your head, “I told you about the conversation we had when he took me home. If he flirts, It’s fine. It’s all good, don’t worry about us.”

“Kay, but if you feel awkward let me know and we can get out of here.” She takes your hand squeezing it. You both check your reflection in the mirror, your short black peplum skirt and crop top accentuated the best parts of you. Your hair in loose waves falling over your shoulder and black heels for the cherry on top. It had been so long since you’d dressed up and you felt good.

You walk back towards the table, instantly recognizing the tattooed arm leaning on the table next to Jimin. He looked so fucking good. Classic black skinny jeans never seemed to work against him. The emerald green button up tucked into his pants to show his figure. The sleeve rolled up to show off his tattoos and sculpted forearms. You start to whisper words of encouragement to yourself. Keeping things friendly with him in general was hard, but with the way he looked tonight, you knew it was going to be nearly impossible for you not to flirt.

He turns slowly to face you as you both approach the table, almost in slow motion as his eyes connect with yours. You suck your lip into your teeth trying to suppress the huge grin tugging at the corners of your mouth. His eyes coast over your body, making your legs feel like jelly under his gaze. Finally, close enough for the two of you to embrace, you hold your arms out telling him that you want a hug. When his arms are crossing behind you, you have a moment to realize that everyone at the table was watching your embrace. Pulling back, you look up at him while reaching to grip both of his biceps.

“Congratulations on your promotion, you deserved it.” He says quietly for only you to hear. You scrunch your nose, feeling the blush take over your cheeks.

“I’m glad you came,” you tell him, just as quiet as he was. You giggle and pull away when you feel his muscles tighten underneath your touch.

“Let’s drink!” You yell to the group, smacking your hand on the table. Overly aware that Jungkook’s eyes still haven’t left you, and clearly you were still hyper aware of his every move. It was impossible not to be. Tae immediately calls over the server, ordering a bucket of beers and a round of tequila shots.

Who knows how many shots later the alcohol was doing a nice job of making everyone very comfortable. Jimin and Tae were owning the pool table and you were a giggling mess watching them absolutely dominate Abby and Yoongi.

“Yep that means you buy the next round!” Tae sings as he hangs up his pool stick. Jimin follows his lead smiling from ear to ear. Too drunk to even understand how impressive his pool skills were.

“Dammit Yoongi, you used to be good at pool!” Abby whines as she and Yoongi walk away from the pool table and towards the bar to buy the shots. Tae and Jimin follow the arguing couple to rub it in their faces a little more.

You slowly turn in your seat, leaning in to sip the few remaining sips from your drink. Jungkook is leaning over the table watching you, propping his head up with his hand. The chair squeaks at you turn it slowly to look at him.

“What’s on your mind?” You giggle, fishing a piece of ice from your drink to suck on.

“You probably don’t realize this but, I remember the last time we were all here.”

You pause, chewing on the ice. Wondering if he’s referring to the last and only time you had been there before.

“You were sitting over there,” He says calmly pointing to the table next to the bar, “We were all back here, but you were with Ben.”

You start to chew on your lip, realizing that he’s remembering the night that was supposed to be romantic for you. You were supposed to celebrate being a new couple, but instead he brought you to a bar and got upset every time you tried to leave his group to hang out with your best friend. You can see now why he acted that way.

“I remember being so pissed off,” He looks away a quiet laugh leaving his lips, “I couldn’t understand why he wasn’t giving you attention. Abby came back over and was telling us how he wanted you to stay by him but… he wasn’t even fucking talking to you.”

You were speechless hearing his confession. Wondering what the right thing to say was, since there were so many possible responses running through your hazy mind.

“That’s probably creepy huh?” He raises his eyebrows clearly thinking he said something wrong with your silence.

You giggle, reaching out to rest your hand on his thigh, “I can’t believe you remember that. Why didn’t you try to rescue me?” You bite your lip scrunching your eyes tight almost as if to scold him jokingly. You were kidding but at the same time you wondered why he would have so much courage saying the things he said to Ben on the camping trip, but no courage when it came to you being ‘mistreated’.

“Honestly?” He asks clearing his throat, “I think by now you know that when it comes to Ben, it’s hard for me to think clearly. I’m truly not the type of guy to steal another guys girl, no matter who it is.” He takes a sip from his dark liquor, “You were honestly the first girl he dated that made me a little… jealous. I couldn’t figure out why a girl like you wanted someone like him.”

You nod taking his words in slowly hoping that the small part of your brain that was sober would remember it all.

“I think I blew up on the camping trip because I was scared of him taking you back. Deep down I knew that was a possibility, and it wouldn’t be the first time he had done it. He’s always been better than me at everything and I just couldn’t live with the thought that you might go back to him.”

Your chest locks up when his glossy eyes meet yours. You reach up to lightly cup his cheek before leaning to press your lips to it.

“Thank you for telling me that…” You whisper into his ear, “And for the record… so far you’re wayyyyy better than him at most things.”

You pull away, winking. He looks down as he starts to blush. Like a saving grace the rest of the group returns to your table. Abby’s raised brows speak for themselves; you widen your eyes telling her that you would update her later.

“Alright you two want to be our next victims?” Jimin slurs patting the green felt top of the pool table.

Jungkook gets off the bar stool and takes your hand, “Help me kick their asses?”

You nod, hoping down from the stool. After picking out a pool stick and rubbing the cube of chalk on the tip, Tae breaks and sinks in a solid ball and misses his next shot.

Jungkook goes next sinking in two striped ones, you give him a hive five and he laces his fingers in yours. Jimin fails to sink any, leaving it to be your turn.

You lean over the pool table, trying to find the grip that works for you.

“Take your time sweetheart,” Tae teases as him and Jimin sip on their drinks.

You look up rolling your eyes and flipping them off before leaning back down.

“Here,” Jungkook moves over to where you are leaning behind your body, “Put your fingers like this,” He places your fingers in the right position then reaches over you to put his hand around yours helping your grip the end of the pool stick. “You need to hit it right here,” He points to the spot on the cue ball and starts to help you move. “You got it babe?”

The nickname makes you swallow hard, you nod, and he backs away. You know that everyone is giving him the stare down, but you ignore it. You follow his direction and you sink the ball you were aimed at. Everyone yells in excitement, even Tae and Jimin.

You turn around and your wrap your arms around Jungkook’s waist and he hugs you tight, “See you got it baby girl.” He looks down at you and you have to stop yourself from kissing him.

You lean back down to the table sinking one more, then another after that. Finally, your turn comes to an end and Jungkook comes up behind you wrapping his arms around your waist. The bar is loud and crowded now so he leans down so you can hear him, “Did you even need my help, y/n?” He giggles.

The heat from his breath makes your spine tingle when he asks you the simple question, “Mm, not really.” You confess letting your head fall to the side.

“Ah, I think I’m catching on,” He murmurs before leaving a feather light kiss to the spot just below your ear. He backs away, his eyebrows rising for just a moment while a sinful grin takes over. You inhale deeply, stepping back while he goes to take his turn.

The rest of the game is a breeze, considering Jimin and Tae are far too drunk to be accurate anymore. Once you finally beat them, the bar is packed. You had switched to water over an hour ago, sipping on a beer every once in a while. Not trying to have a repeat of the camping trip incident, you’ll never drink that much again. You walk to the bar to get another water, when you someone’s hand lightly pinches at the back of your arm to get your attention, “Y/N?”

You turn and your met with the sparkling eyes of the one and only Kim Namjoon. Namjoon was head of the department you had just gotten promoted to. You had had a few short conversations prior but never hung out outside of work. “Oh my gosh! What are you doing here?” You ask while reaching out for a hug. He hugs back and you silently praise yourself for deciding to switch to water, this could have been a disaster.

“Oh, I’m here with some buddies, do you come here a lot? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you here before?” He asks leaning into the bar so you can hear him clearly.

“I’ve been here a few times, but I’m here celebrating the promotion with my friends actually!” You smile and nod to your group.

“Is that water?” He nods to the clear liquid in your hand.

“It is, didn’t want to get too crazy.” You giggle and he playfully scowls at you.

“We don’t have work tomorrow, let me buy you a drink and introduce you to some of the guys in the department! Were excited to have you!” He smiles and you obviously can’t tell him no.

He buys you a drink and you follow him over as he introduces you to your new coworkers. As each of them insist on hugging you, you wonder if a certain boy has his eyes on you.

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Jungkook’s perspective:

“I don’t know who they are, maybe she works with them?” Abby answers my burning question. I know hearing that she potentially works with them should calm my jealousy but now I’m jealous for another reason. If these are the men, she’s spending every day with, how long before she finds one of them more suited for her than me?

“Drink up, looks like you need it.” Yoongi hands me a glass of the syrupy brown liquid. I pull my eyes away from her to lift the drink to my lips, wincing when it burns my throat. The way the alcohol temporarily made me forget was exactly what I needed. I down the rest of the drink and head to the bar to get another. Then another after that. It helped distract me for awhile but eventually it only made my jealousy worse.

“What’s wrong?” Jimin asks sitting at the table next to me. I raise my brows and shake my head hoping he would leave it alone.

“You’re literally moping right now, obviously you’re mad she’s talking to other guys.”

“She’s free to talk to whoever she wants. We’re just friends remember?” I respond sounding harsher than I intended, maybe that was the booze talking.

“Well I think if you’re gonna act like this every time she talks to another guy, you clearly aren’t okay being just friends.”

“What the fuck am I supposed to do, Jimin?” I turn in my chair to face him.

“Tell her how you feel.”

Tae walks over to the table carrying three shots of tequila, I take mine quickly and Jimin passes his to me.

“Are you trying to get me drunk?” I ask him, sucking on the lemon to take away the burn of the alcohol.

“I mean, maybe I know that when you get really drunk you tend to confess your feelings,” He says with a devilish grin, “I might also think that you and y/n are perfect for each other and I’m really exhausted watching you too pretend like you’re not in love.”

I roll my eyes, but I can’t say that I disagree with him. It was time for me to tell her that I want her to be more than a friend. She has to at least know that.

“I’m also just a whore for the dramatics,” Jimin whispers as he walks away.

I can’t help but laugh, feeling the warmth take over my stomach.  All of the alcohol I’ve drank in the last hour finally catching up to me. Everything in me, even drunk, was pulled to her. I want so desperately to be able to give her the space and time she needs, to understand that maybe in the end she won’t be mine. The thought alone made me want to throw up.

I can’t wrap my head around the fact that less than 30 minutes ago my arms were around he waist. I kissed her neck and she practically melted. Maybe there wasn’t a reason for me to be jealous, but I can’t help it.

I find her in the crowd, the group of men around her clearly enchanted by everything that she was. Obviously, why wouldn’t they be? She’s perfect. Everything about her is all that I could ever need. I have to tell her.

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The bartender calls out last call and with that you hug Namjoon, and you tell everyone it was nice to meet them. You look at your phone, gasping when you realize you had spent over an hour talking to them. You tried leaving a few times once you realized they were hitting on you, but you didn’t want to be rude. Namjoon was kind though, you didn’t get any creepy vibes from him thankfully.

Approaching the table, your eyes meet a very red faced Jungkook. He immediately straightens up but the smile he gives you is a sad one. Everyone starts to gather their things after paying their tab at the bar. You overhear Tae and Jimin discuss which bar to head to next, while Abby and Yoongi tell them they’re going home.

“Come on Kook, we can drop you off.” Yoongi announces patting him as he walks behind him.

He starts to stand up, until Jimin interrupts them, “Wait why don’t you go with y/n, Kook? That way she doesn’t have to be alone.”

Jungkook looks at Jimin with wide eyes, and Jimin nods in my direction.

“I was going to Uber… you ca- “I start but I’m instantly cut off by and oblivious yet helpful Yoongi.

“We can drop you both off, lets go.” He tells you and starts to head towards the door.

You all stand there for a moment looking at each other before following Yoongi to the car. You give Tae and Jimin a hug before they head to the next bar. You can’t help but notice Jimin giving Jungkook something that seems like a pep talk.

Sliding into the back seat, Jungkook follows you. Each of you sitting near a window leaving a space between you. Abby and Yoongi are distracted by their own conversation in the front seat. Jungkook is being suspiciously quiet and you wonder if its because of the alcohol. You suddenly feel something brushing your pinky finger, as you look down, he laces his fingers with yours. You tense at first, until you look at him. His head leaning back against the seat, but his eyes are on you. You give him a soft smile before relaxing your fingers in his.

“I’m drunk,” He whispers before he smiles at you.

You widen your eyes, and fake being surprised, “I had no idea.” You whisper sarcastically earning a giggle from the drunk boy. As quickly as the smile took over his features, it was gone just as fast. His face hardened as he focused in on you again.

“You’re perfect. You know that?” He murmurs lifting his hand to your face. Lightly brushing his thumb along your jawline until he can tuck your hair behind your ear.

“And you’re drunk,” You giggle trying to brush it off, “you know that?”

It takes him a second, but the dopey grin comes back, “mhm, but I still think you’re perfect.”

You reach up for his hand and lace his fingers in yours again, “I’m not perfect Kook, far from it.”

His expression hardened and Yoongi interrupts telling you that you were at Jungkook’s place. You both freeze for a moment, he looks at you with need. You know that there’s something on his mind and part of you really needs to know what that is.

“You need help getting inside?” You ask him before squeezing his fingers in yours. He gulps, then nods. He didn’t need help; you both knew that. You tell Yoongi you’ll get an Uber home, and thank him for the ride. The walk to his front door is quiet and slow, both of you feeling the need to say something but neither of you finding the words to say.

He fumbles with his key, so you step in and open the door. Once you’re in, the awkwardness only intensifies. He walks over to the couch and falls onto it. You take it upon yourself to find a cup and fill it with water. You have ibuprofen in your purse, so you get that out. Sitting next to him on the couch you hold out your hand for him to take the pills. He sits up just enough to drink the water and take the medicine. He leans back again staring at the ceiling.

“Okay, well I’m gonna have the Uber come get me. Are you good?” Your voice is quiet and unsure, did you read him all wrong? Suddenly he sits up straight, tucking his leg in so that he’s facing you.

“Can you stay a little longer?” He says finally after looking for the words to say.

You bite your lip and nod, “Is everything okay?”

He bites his lip and lets out a long sigh, “I need to tell you something.”

Cocking your head to the side you reach out to grab his hand, he meets your hand with both of his. He takes a minute letting his thumbs slowly brush the top of your hand. You giggle and he looks up, smiling at your response.

“It was hard to see you with those guys tonight,” he starts, pausing to see your reaction. When your face remains calm, he continues, “I know I’m the reason there isn’t anything between us right now but I feel like you need to know that…” He stops taking another deep breath, “that I don’t think I’ll ever be over you.”

You nearly choke on your spit. You knew he had something to tell you but you never would have thought those words would come from his lips. You try to formulate a response, but nothing comes.

“I just… I understand why you need time and space. I get it, I fucked up. You just have to know that no matter what I’m always going to want to be with you. I’m always going to be jealous when I see you with someone that isn’t me. Like I said I know I fucked up I ju-“  He drags on his drunken confession until you cut him off.

“Kookie, of course I was upset hearing you say all of that stuff… but let me be clear,” You pause wondering if he’s too far gone to even comprehend what you’re saying, “The reason I don’t want anything serious is because… of me, not you. You understand that right?”

He nods his head aggressively, “I know, I just want to show you I can be better.”

You start to chuckle at how desperate he’s coming across; you wonder what this confession would sound like if he was sober. Would he say anything to you at all if he was sober?

“I really love hearing that, Kook,” you reach out to comb your fingers through his messy hair, He instantly relaxes into your touch and it makes your chest tighten. You pull away knowing right now he’s vulnerable, and you are too. Hearing his confession makes you feel a million different emotions all at once.

“Do you think being friends is too much for us right now?” you ask quietly. You know if you were going to get a genuine answer it would be while he was drunk.

“It’s not too much, I can do it.” He admits forcing a tight-lipped smile in hopes of convincing you, “The only reason I didn’t say something when we talked about it was because I didn’t want to lose you completely or scare you away.”

You nod, everything making a little more sense now.  “Those guys are my new co-workers,” You say quietly, scooting yourself over so that you can lay your head on his shoulder.

“So, you’ll see them every day?” he asks, the smell of alcohol and minty gum filling your nose as he breathes.

“I mean, for the most part.” You sit up so you can look at him, “Is that why you got so drunk?”

He looks away, “I might have started drinking a lot to keep me from doing something stupid.”

You start to laugh lightly, “You can’t do that Kook,” you start, taking his tattooed hand in yours, pr

essing a soft kiss to his knuckles, “Listen, I’m obviously still very much into you. I don’t know when I’ll be ready but, when I am you’ll be the first to know.”

“You promise?” He reaches up to brush your bottom lip with his thumb, you can see it in his eyes how badly he wants to kiss you.

“I promise, but you have to patient, okay? And no more getting jealous!” You murmur in a serious tone.

“I’ll try not to get jealous, and I can be patient for you, anything for you.”

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A/N: These two are getting somewhere I promise ;) Let me know what you think and what you want to see happen!

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