#i got so many things in the works hehe
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look i know that i havent been updating comtent lately and i can explain
it's because
#CPRambles#no but like ive been sick#and tired#internships have me in a chokehold#I NEED MONEY GUYS#but genuinely tho ive got very little energy to write lately#but that doesnt mean i havent been writing completely!!!#i got so many things in the works hehe#oh shit i rambled fr#tag talks ig
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Grief and anger hand in hand
Dust belongs to Ask-Dusttale Death’s Doorstep (this band AU) belongs to me
Lyrics from I Am My Own Muse by Fall Out Boy
#Hehe. lore and such#Very very happy with this one I tried some different stuff and I think it worked well#Armageddon art#death’s doorstep#dust sans#dust!sans#dusttale sans#Undertale AU#sans AU#AU sans#utmv#Murder sans#This is when he’s in high school. Right after his brother died#I could write something more in depth but I am Tired#essentially he’s got a lotta shit going on and he#impulsively ran out to his garage and destroyed his guitar right there#cause so much was out of his control and he fucking hated it#And he was mad at too many things. And he was going through it he wasn’t thinking#idk how to explain it without it sounding stupid my brain is half dead /nsrs#also this. Like I said. Takes place several years before the “main” plot of the DD stuff#so I know this guitar looks like the one I usually draw him with#and that’s cause I fucked up with my last highschool-era piece and gave him the same guitar as the present#so let’s say he destroys this one first. Goes through two more. Then eventually ends up with another that looks just like this one#idk if that made sense. Hopefully#OKAY shutting up now my bad#Eye strain#tw eye strain#cw eye strain
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Challenge level: Impossible (Patreon)
#Doodles#Spoiler alert: I was in fact not normal about it lol#You can tell those first two are old by comparison for how short my hair was at the time lol#From back in July! I guess I just hadn't been drawing myself much there for a bit huh#As for that last one I swear I Promise I drafted this in September it's not a reference I'm just actually genuinely Like This lol#I didn't choose this life etc. etc. lol#From the top!#Burst of inspiration wherever could that have come from hehe <3 What could've happened in July that made me want to draw I wonder hehehe#Bit funny considering I fell off posting - not like the inspiration stopped! And what I Did draw was Very lol#I still have some of it in an ever-present photoviewer because I like being able to look at it at any point <3#Still inspired! Still want to do more studies!! So pretty ♥♪♫#Sleepy thoughts - I had my Pkmn Diamond/SoulSilver field dex/guides for all of like two months and then they were packed up again#And this was Before the Pokemon burst! Sheesh sheesh#I love my field guide dexes they're so neat and well-made ahh#I have got a couple craft projects still back-burnered - those papercrafts to do with Pokemon are still on the list!#A little Pokedex-notebook is so fun.......And I have Pokemon stickers that I could put in it or on it......ah........#I do want to! I will at some point the energy will return to it eventually#Alright so the main course lol#Went fabric shopping for plushies because yes I Am determined to Make Thing! Another that's been a bit backburnered - but I will!!!#I do still really want to it's turned out pretty good for far :) But while I was shopping!!#We did the usual small talk thing with the store employee like ''Oh what are you buying this for'' that whole back-and-forth#So I explained that I was making plushies and needed the tear-away stabilizer to draw the embroidery outline on#In my head I was being very tempered because while /I/ know that I'm making a Max plushie not many people are familiar with him (wrongly so)#Lol#So we continued and he was like ''Oh cool I've made some patches with embroidery :)'' so I asked of what and he lead with CotL's crown#And then-#Look Zarla's work was Already on my mind with Max as my project I was in a Delicate Way already do you really expect me not to talk about it#The answer was no and he walked away with a Vargas recommendation in his pocket I hope he enjoyed it lol#And I got my fabric and started work on Max's face it's fine it all worked out in the end it's all good it's great lol#I Was encouraged to come back with my finished project so that's on my to-do once I get him in a presentable state haha
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you know what's funny is how i break Me into my ocs.
like i got a guy with backpain, one with depression, one with ocd, one with adhd. half of them are autistic and the other half are adhd
and i didn't like do that on purpose because i created them all before i even know what most of that was :'))
#like. huh.#skylar can't handle being in crowded and loud places. he also doesn't get social cues. sometimes has a hard time with jokes.#(skylar is the autism angel btw :))#mackenzie has days where he wants to die. just straight up. ( mackenzie is the depression/adhd demon and skylar's bf)#rayne needs things to be in a certain way. he can't function if things are Wrong in any way. he also has a problem with certain fabrics#so he doesn't wear them. and he doesn't leave his apartment except to hunt or go to work occasionally. (rayne is the austism/ocd vampire)#elliot is fat and disabled. he's also got my adhd and autism! (elliot is. boringly rayne's human bf#i have many more ocs but those ones are my like top 4 fave guys. sort of. also i'm too lazy to type up stuff about the others rn#but yeah. sigh.#younger me just: hehe i'm normal and here are my ocs who are also normal : )#diaerie
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Drew Hector once and suddenly had a revelation on drawing noses from the front view. I’m liking this slight little extra bit under the usual scalene triangle shape I do lol.
#castlevania#castlevania games#akumajou dracula#akumajo dracula#Simon Belmont#art post#my art#doodle post#it’s always so fun learning how to draw things (aka having other art styles rub off on yours lol)#and noses are so fun to draw honestly there’s so many of them#I find Isaac’s nose to be really fun to draw hmmmmmm and also Getsu Fuma#that reminds me I haven’t drawn a lot of my older OCs in forever : ( I forgor#I have one OC his name is Seth and he’s got a really fun nose to draw too#I might honestly post multiple times today cause idc what time it is rn#hehe the first image is from something larger I’m working on hehehehe
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Got a new job lined up, just put in notice at my current one… I’ve been here so long I’ll miss it….
#new job seems SO interesting and fun though!!! to me at least asdfgfdsa i realize industrial upholstery sewing#may not be everyone’s idea of a good time#but i get to learn so many new things and the vibe of the workshop reminded me so much of all the art department wood shops I’ve been in#i got to use their hardcore sewing machine its so much more powerful than my one at home#they mostly make things for boats! like window casings and seat covers and tarps and shit!#i want to know how all of that works!!#hehe! I love making things!
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soooo. that new big time rush album huh
#how we feeling today rushers (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧#also yes i've come back from the dead just to post abt this like. i owe this blog *this much* at least ykyk#anyway its like 3 in the morning here and ive just woken up after a vv long and exhausting day yesterday so this was a pleasant surprise :>#i haven't really listened to it in full yet bc idk adhd things but when the mood hits right y'all know i'll be VIBING#i never talked abt it but waves and can't get enough were great earworms so i'm excited to see how the rest of the songs will turn out#also hope everyone's doing well here on the btr side of tumblr hehe y'all been absolutely fed this year <3#is this gonna be allen's 2k23 tumblr comeback??? nah prob not i'm too in love with the fooo conspiracy atm but hey maybe also who knows 👀#(*heckler from the back of the audience* NO ONE CARES ABOUT U AND UR TRASH CONTENT IDIOT STFU FOREVER ACTUALLY!!!!!)#but yep. life has been fuck work has been a headache and so many unwanted tragic plot twists this year. but at least we got new btr lezzgo!#also happy pride month y'all!!! just saying this for absolutely no rhyme or reason related to this post at all wdym lmao ¯\_( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯#okay thats all promise i'll shush now and it's time for old grampa to disappear into the darkest recesses of the internet yet again hejdååå#btr#big time rush#another life#album#stop it forever#lmao i hardly remember my dumbass blog tags;;; it's for the best hdbfkgk
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love being at the climbing gym like yeah im not that flexible and then constantly doing moves matching my hands n feet on the same holds even when completely unnecessary
#half the pictures ppl take of me i have one leg straight and the other at my shoulder height. okay yeah#just looking thru ones ppl have taken recently of me again.. we love being vain n self obsessed#cant wait to get back there on monday i have so many projects rotating in my mind. im always thinking abt them while im at work#.diaries#i flashed a v4 yesterday that was a kind of manoeuvring all your hands and feet onto the same hold and standing type deal#and it felt rly natural to me n then no one else could do it n i felt bad for calling it easy for a v4 i just forgot i can Bend 💀#its mainly only bc im a little younger than some other ppl. and a bit lighter too... and doing years of resistance training has given me#more range of motion than ppl who have histories of different exercise styles/sports#there are ppl who are way more flexible than me ofc but some of them in the group dont have as much core or power.. different stats innit#i figured out a start to another v4 that i was rly proud of too.. just need to get the rest of it next week#but again no one else could even start it my way which was frustrating bc my fave thing is getting to share smth i figured out w someone#so we can joint problem solve the whole thing n both send it... anyway i think its still useful but theyd have to start on the other side#and go up a little in order to come down into the position i had. since its a weird one to get into from the ground bc ur legs are folded#mmmmm....#im so tired i meant to do so much when i got home from work but zzzzzzz#oh welllllll.. itll be a fun weekend hehe going to visit a friend for a few days <3
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ok my ep 1 review is that it's gross and disgusting and gorey and i wish you were here so i could hide my face in your shoulder when they showed something gross and that guitar girl is so fucking hot and awesome and cute instantly fell in love with her i mean pink highlights space bun bass guitar black tee and shorts she's so girlfriend i am shipping her and the cig ballet arsonist girl who's probably a villain and a maniac when she was smoking on the balcony i was so transfixed on her lips lmao nazar nahi hat rahi thi she's really hot and pretty okay and so crazy and sadistic mwah i love her also her brother is sooooooo cute pls want to keep him in my pocket store him away safely such a hero kitne bravely he defended everyone fought the yucky zombie (ew ew) him and the girl they're perfect can't believe he risked his life to save a girl he met like 5 mins ago but yes i can bc omg she's a firefighter????? SO COOL can't wait to learn more about herbut then she'll probably die right cause she got bitten so i shouldn't get attached to her. yes okay that's it at the middle of the ep i was like chee ew ew im not watching this thinking of ways to break your heart say mujhse nahi dekha jaa raha but then maine big girl ki tarah khud ko samjha liya ki ivy imagine that this blood is rose sharbat okay they look the same and it's not real blood sab theek hai and also that maine life mein ek bhi zombie apocalypse jaisa show ya movie nahi dekha even when it was so popular like all of us are dead the end of the fcking world etc etc and so this is the perfect opportunity to tick something off the life bucket list tere liye dekh sakti hu. also inhone hopeful note pe end kar diya ep1
i am smiling ear to ear
#itne sab mein tujhe sirf hot female characters par hi focus gaya na LMAO#mujhe pata tha plus it's just the starting yes don't get attached and yes you're right the ballerina is not a good news#very proud of you for making through it tho the cgi is making me laugh actually it's lwk wacky darr nahi lag raha mujhe 100/10 would've let#you borrow my shoulder i was just trying to remember the plot ki kiske saath kya hone wala hain#ALSO that protein shouting monster is going to fuck so many things up#bhai that red highlights wali girl is someone in whom the main mc will see his fav charc t#the one jiske liye ye got seleted so he scheduled his suicide for 25th#anyways very proud of kissing your forehead snd patting my back because my plan is working you're just one step away from being fully#prepared to watch attack on titan hehe#ivy love#ilysm
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going through it lately. and by it? i mean absolutely nothing actually.
#guys i need therapy#not that itll work#it wont#the last one didnt#and the ones before didnt but my mom only let me do one or two session each for those so i dont fault them#its been years tho so maybe?#idfk#i dont really care#i do#i probably do im just tired#yall know what type of tired#ugh i should really keep my vent posts to my vent blog so people dont have to see them#<- has made many vent posts here and actually not used the vent blog in months#my foot just fell asleep#yall lukcy i dont have a gun#i lied about quiting my job btw#something came up and it got complicated#it might turn out good tho#probably not#but if it does i might be able to move out and room with my oldest friend#oldest as in time known#not age (im older by like four months hehe(and like a head shorter but we dont talk about that shh))#but that would also mean rent which means philly will take a lot longer#and also ill have to look for shops in a whole other city so im putting off quiting for another month or two or three maybe#i dont like change. i dont like genuinely regularly thinking 'id rather die' to things that i really do want#tw vent#thats probably important#i dont like decisions#did you guys know Animal Jam got shut down?#i miss my necklace. everything else seems so- not barbaric but maybe unclean. which i guess is appropriate
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Hehehe >:3 got a kissie and some headpats from a pretty girl >:3 muahahahahahaha >:3
#sorenhoots#sometimes i remember that i am living the life that i ached for during lonely years#like i just get to wake up and live my gay little life??? kinda fucking awesome even if many other parts of life are very stressful#im so glad i met my wife who loves me for who i am 🥰🥰🥰🥰 and 😈😈😈 heheh then i met my other partner???? like. i thought my wife made me#the happiest i would ever be and then WOOSH i met ANOTHER person who makes me incredibly happy? i did not know the happiness could DOUBLE.#i figured it was like 0%-100% and my wife made me like 100% of my capacity for happiness and then its like 200% now and im realizing that my#capacity to experience joy and peace isnt static and frankly probably increases steadily over a lifetime as i grow and change and learn to#appreciate things more. anyways im in a content happy lil gay mood this morning :3#my partner got to visit us recently to help us get emotionally ready for some stressful stuff but now the most stressful parts are done and#now that the stress is fading i am finding so much happiness has been in my chest waiting to burst! it was sooo good to see my partner hehe#and the situation is even cuter because my wifes partner also came to visit and my wifes partner is my partners wife also so like. adorable#symmetry. my partner and my wifes partner have another partner and if you draw out a little diagram of us you will see it is shaped like a#house :3 a square with a triangle on top :3 hehe metamours everywhere :3 super super super wonderful metamours. its literally almost like a#fairy tale to have a polycule??? like?? im so excited to live somewhere that isnt like 9 hours from them. oh my god they also have a cat and#shes the cutest. me and my wife have a cute cat also and we are like 👀👀👀 tenatively anticipating that they will get along 👀👀👀 ive#specifically worked with my cat to help her know how to behave around other cats. my neighbor is retired and does TNR on the local strays#and they get attached to her and hang out in her backyard or her house lol like one snuck in and this was before they had any cats and they#didnt know he snuck in until he hopped onto her bf's chest at night to snuggle up. and hes a big cat and if you felt him drop onto your#chest in the pitch black of night you might absolutely mistake him for a racooon or possom or some other beast. anyways he sneaks into all#the houses down the street apparently and is just kinda like “the retired people down the street”'s cat lol. and daisy would hiss and yowl#out the window at him but i always tried to show her that he is friendly (and give her treats to attempt to tell her 'he isnt a threat. have#a snack. see? if he was a threat then we would not be having snacks.' and eventually he ran into us while i was letting her outside on her#harness and!!! i was absolutely ready to defend either of them from the t#other but they just cautiously sniffed each other and then laid down. it was fascinating to observe. daisy also responds really well yo#to meeting new people :3 though she proved me wrong by hiding from some maitenence ppl recently. but then she met my metamour and was pretty#much instantly like 'oh ok ur family? sounds gok#sounds good.' so thats cute and i hope if we end up in the same house with the other cat in the polci#polycule. well i hope they get along!!!#idk what we would do if they didnt. there are lots of other housing arrangements (like renting a duplex or next-door apartments or#something) but i want them to get along anyways :3 no matter what sort of living arragement works out best. i think theyd be good for each
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Giving nicknames, testing boundaries (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#Max Vyer#Dexter Favin#How /did/ Max come to like him so much in just two years? I have my theories :3#More Teen Max!! Nothing has changed I just continue to love him lol#Two years is a pretty quick turnaround for such a stubborn kid - though I guess for a child two years can be a long time haha#Went from just hating Dex's guts of trying to drive him away and make him quit and hating being kept on a short leash#Does make me wonder how much of him kissing him was an impulse - I mean obviously lol but how much was genuine attraction!#Certainly seemed like a lot :0 Even upon being rejected he couldn't give it up! Still took him another several years to act again tho haha#I mean - in the text lol who knows what they got up to in the time skips hehe ♪#AnyWay lol - them getting used to each other of slowly working into tolerating each other#Max said something in one of his wake-ups that as I read it implied Dexter was something of a polyglot?? Which - love that ♪#If not conversationally-fluent then at tourist-fluent y'know I think that's great <3#Which got me thinking about other languages and insults and curses haha#I like the idea of Dex only really strong-arming Max about Actual deviant behaviour - something that puts himself or others at risk#Harmless little things like any teen would do - like name-calling! Haha - just get a kind of neutral ''Huh''#As well as interest <3 Not an outright dismissal not a lecture but at least the appearance of investment!#Considering Max's home life I can't imagine he had all that many people genuinely (or fake) interested in his shenanigans#All about suppressing the symptoms more than rooting out the cause it's amazing what just showing a little interest can do#I also just think it's cute of Max getting away with something silly and harmless but totally biting and mean! <in his mind haha#Silly lad <3
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i hate when people who im not into flirt with me bc i literally start buffering right in front of their eyes and then idk how to be myself anymore bc stop it 🤣🤣 one of my favs today was like “how are you doing pretty lady” and i straight up froze and looked like i was malfunctioning 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤧🤧🤧 but i made it out ok, I think 🤣🤣 cause I do t wanna hurt peoples feelings either but maybe he was just being nice lmao i just try to act like everything is normal and they didn’t say that 😵💫 THEN I think this one guy called me babe like a week ago and I wa s just like “… thanks” and I really think he did bc he hasn’t been back since then and I feel bad now 🤣🤣 was also one of my favs, why they gotta like me 😅😅
#like I be havin old ass men make kissy faces at me 🙃 so many things#why#can people not control themselves fr 🫠#I even had one guy apparently tell me he loved me but that man was fuckin on soemthing 🤦🏼♀️#he’s one of the ones *yes it has happened multiple times 🥲* that made kissy faces at me#and my coworker swears on everything he told me he loved me 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I can’t even#I did get to see one of the ones I do be thinkin is fineee today hehe#I died bc when he came in he said hi to my coworker just chillin and then he saw me and his face lit up as usual 😆 and he waved lmao#he’s supposed to bring me a lil sample of this bourbon iderc he’s just sexy#💀💀💀#man was literally distracting me so bad#my coworker was dyin 🤣🤣#she said ‘well he seemed excited once he saw you’ and he is everytime it cracks me up#fr tho I had a margarita like an hour and a half before work bc I got lunch with a friend#was fun at first when I got here but now I just wanna go home and got to bed rip#i was havin a blast and now im freakin done 🤣#i need another one to wake up 🤣
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We need more remember me poses
Also how are you??
im fine babeee how you doin 😏
#also#ill try to get remember me next part out as soon as possible#i am juggling so many things rn havent been able to get into writing remember me yet#got school work to do then my secret santa fic which i ned to finish before 17#and im literally travelling WITHOUT my laptop from 5 to 18#hehe lol ill try my best to get the next part out tho 😉
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I should have maybe made these all separate posts, but I am very tried today and just wanted to share the pics I took of my FF group for Halloween :3! It was a lot of fun, and I'm glad we did it again this year!!
#vastha#and friends ofc!!#it was nice to have the group together again for a bit since its been A While due to work schedules and other things going on#so we havent played played together in A While. after this we went map hunting >:D got soooooooo much moneeeeeeeeeey#I do miss playing regularly with everyone. maybe after all the holidays well be able to again and then we can go back to mount farming#anyway!!#Vastha was a vampire hehe. ive been dying to use that top since i got it!!#ieyren was going for the pixies in SHB energy#Yoseph was an undead/zombie manderville which i thought was so creative!!! he even used the moth eaten top for it#varu was inuyasha dshjbsjfdhg when we saw her run into the area we were like OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH--#and then nat was a pirate/mistbeard#well. until the last photos dshsjdhvsf we took so many more pics like that and everyone else jumped into the add stickers and stuff#ffxiv#final fantasy 14 online#final fantasy 14#miqote#miqote keeper of the moon
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^^^ pumpkin. if you even care.
#ooohgh i went to a smaller crafts fair at a local library and i was enraptured by the texture and squishyness of this pumpkin.#so i bought it <3#its actually a pincushion but it works just as well as a stress ball hehe#i think it was like 1-2 dollars because the seller specifically wanted them (they had many pumpkins) gone lol#i also grabbed a bracelet (and then got two for free because of my whimsy and charm AGAIN.#..ok it was not my whimsy and charm this time. i got the first extra bracelet cus i struck a bargain with the pumpkin seller#bc i was having trouble deciding what to buy with the last of my money#5 dollars for the pumpkin + 2 bracelets when the bracelets were 3 dollars each lol#then the second one was bc a different stall had a little 'raffle' thing with some paper in a bowl#i pulled one out and got a free bracelet from that!!)#and The Cursed Amulet (a really cool looking keychain... its silver and has a big red gem in the middle!)
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