#i get why dark riders are getting them seriously

[sunnie-angel]

bonus story (oct 31) | breeding kink

✮⋆˙ baby girl

your girlfriend jay todd is hot. like seriously life ruiningly hot. so hot you want her ring and for her to put a baby in you. and if you think jay’s not gonna do her goddamn best to knock you up with her strap, well you’ve got another think coming.

tags: f!reader, fem!jason todd, flirting, sapphic sex, fingering, clit pinching, biting, penetrative sex with a strap on, breeding kink, size kink if you squint, soft domme jay todd, squirting, pregnancy mention, cannot emphasize enough that this is woman on woman sex

⊘ this is an 18+ fic. minors do not interact, you will be blocked

It’s the purr of the motorbike’s engine that signals to you that you’re not walking home alone anymore. Leonine and low, not a hint of a sputter or hiccup speaking to a machine well kept. Hurrying you pick up your pace, trying to get to the bright lights and bustle of the main street. Lazily it keeps pace with you until your stumbling feet carry you to the end of the block and an intersection that lets it pull up right in front of you, cuts off your hope of brighter street lamps and witnesses. A heavy boot puts down the kickstand.

“What’s a pretty little thing like you doin’ all by herself at this time of night,” the rider drawls, Crime Alley accent pouring thick over her voice. Slowly you back away, one careful foot after the other. She cuts you off and advances.

“M’heading home. Now. To my girlfriend,” you get out through a thick tongue. Still you back away and still she advances. The rough brick wall of the alley hits your back and suddenly you realize the trap you’ve walked into.

“Sweet thing like you, your girlfriend should know better than to let you out by yourself after dark,” she chides. Arm bracing against the wall over your head, she leans in until she fills your line of sight. “Why, just about anyone could stop by and snap. You. Up,” she breathes and your legs turn to jelly.

“She’s– she’s mean. She’s big and she’s mean and she fucks people up for a living,” you stutter out. The rider inserts one her thighs between your own, starts trailing rough fingers up the soft thin skin between them, up under the hem of your skirt.

“Yeah baby girl, what else?” she asks, fingers just brushing the fabric of your panties.

“She’s gonna– she’s gonna kill you if you touch me,” you try not to moan. A hand slips down the front of your panties, cups your sex. 

“Bet I’m bigger,” the rider grunts in your ear, spearing you open with one of her fingers as she speaks. You have to clutch at the front of her leather jacket to keep from collapsing immediately at the invasion. “Bet I’m meaner,” she says as she pinches your clit and you yowl like an alley cat. “Bet I’d fuck you better.” There’s two fingers inside you now, fucking you open faster than you’re ready for. The rough brick scrapes against the back of your thighs.

“She’s– she’s gonna–” you try to string together a threat but you can’t think around the fullness of your cunt.

“Yeah baby girl, what’m I gonna do?” she taunts you, grin all predatory and all Jay. 

You moan brokenly as she slides a hand under shirt, pulls your breasts out of your bra and starts playing with your nipples. Her fingers in your cunt start curling in on every thrust. Your mouth parts around a particularly vicious twist, breast stinging and cunt throbbing. She smiles against your throat, teeth bared at the way your clench down around her hand. Presses her thumb against your clit, just the hint of a nail verging on cruel. Bites a new bruise into your skin as you come on her hand, tight walls rippling around her at the pleasure-pain.

“Hiya baby,” Jay whispers as you collapse back against the wall, licks your slick off her hand as she stares you down. “Have a good day at work?”

“The worst,” you groan, hands working to set your clothing to rights, or as much as they can be salvaged anyway.

“Yeah? Well then why don’t you come home with me and let me kiss it better?” she purrs, handing over your helmet.

“Just for the record,” you tell her, already putting the helmet on, “that’s a terrible line. Awful. I can’t believe I’m letting you anywhere near my vagina after that.”

“It worked, didn’t it?” she says mock offended. “Just for that I’m driving over every single bump on the way home.”

Jay Todd is nothing if not two things: vengeful and a woman of her word. She hits every single pothole one the drive home, takes detours and swerves in and out of traffic just to torture you. Glued to her broad back, feeling like there’s a direct line from the vibrations of the engine to your clit, its no wonder you’re a puddle on the back of the bike by the time she pulls up at your apartment complex. She gets off the bike first and laughs when you bunch your hands in your skirt and mumble about needing a minute without looking her in the eyes. Leans in like she’s going to kiss you only to pull back and laugh as you almost face plant chasing after her mouth.

Eventually you do manage to peel yourself off the back of the bike with wobbly legs, leaving a damp spot on the hard seat. Jay lets you lean up against her on the way up to the apartment, thighs rubbing together in anticipation. Walks your right into the bedroom before shucking off her jacket, letting it fall to the floor.

You’re so mesmerized by the sight of her pulling her tank top over her head that you forget to undress yourself, so lost in the scarred expanse of her skin. She catches you staring just as her black sports bra hits the ground, catches your wide eyed desire and oh you’re fucked. Stalks towards you bare chested, grin promising all the fun for her and humiliation for you.

“You wanna touch?” she drawls, idly tracing one hand over the swell of a large breast. Dumb, you nod. Swallow. “Only good girls get to touch and you haven’t been very good, have you?”

“Wha–” you start indignantly but she shushes you.

“Kept me waiting, didn’t even bother trying to get undressed.” She grabs a handful of one breast and then drops it, sighing. “I don’t think you’ve earned the right to touch yet tonight, do you?”

“I can– I can be good,” you say through a cotton mouth. “I can earn it. Please?” 

She sighs, crosses her arms under her breasts as if to shove them higher into your face.

“Well? Get undressed then, and go pick out the strap you want me to fuck you with.”

Stumbling in your hurry to respond to her orders, you fumble with your clothing, determined to get it off off off. A seam rips but you don’t care because suddenly you’re free. Rush over to the chest of drawers and hastily pull out your favourite dildo. It’s big – not the largest of your shared collection but large enough – a deep shining red with a textured head and a flared base that makes you wince to take fully. Already your mouth is salivating at the last time Jay used this one on you, the way your cunt had ached for days afterwards.

Turning back to her, she’s already got her harness on, a few fingers lazily pumping at the curls between her legs. She’s got a bored look on her face as she crooks her finger at you to come but the light in her eyes scream that she’s going to eat you whole. Jay reclines on the bed like royalty as she attaches the strap. You stand next to the bed with fidgety hands that still haven’t been given permission to touch, worry your lip with your teeth. Satisfied, she lays back legs spread hands tucked behind her head on the pillows. The bright red cock stands straight up from her hips, gleaming dully in the low light. Idly you feel slick trickle down your inner thigh.

“C’mon on then, earn it,” she tells you and you’re a tangle of limbs scrabbling on the bed.

Desperate you line your cunt up with the tip of the strap and then push your hips down. Mewl as gravity spears you open on the plastic cock. Jay’s fingers had opened you up a bit but not for something as big as this. You’d been too stupid, too desperate to bother trying to slick it up with lube or the flowing juices from your cunt so you’re taking it dry. You choke as it’s descent slows, progress strangled by your too tight cunt and greedy eyes. You’ve got no way to balance yourself, to pull yourself up off the strap splitting you in half but Jay’s strong torso and she hasn’t given you permission to touch yet. You gasp and shudder, thighs burning and aching as you slowly pull yourself off the cock, allow yourself a few hiccuping breaths of respite, before slamming down again, letting gravity tear you open.

You get a little farther this time, cunt marking your progress with a new, lower ring of wetness around the plastic dick. Throwing your head back you force yourself to relax and push. Bear down in the hopes that it’ll feed that much more into your hungry, reluctant cunt. Jay watches the whole show with a feral grin. Laps up the way your tits bounce with every thrust. Revels in the tiny, tired whines you let out as your legs tire out from balancing the weight of you. Grows ravenous with the way tears have started to dew your lashes in frustration, in desperation. Finally, finally you manage to take the whole strap down to its base, face twisting up into a grimace at the fat bloated stretch of it. Finally she lets herself touch you, a hand coming to rest on your hip. She positively lights up with greed as you lean into her touch.

“There she is, there’s my good girl,” she coos. Your nod turns to a sob as she grinds her hips into you, forces the strap to brush that sensitive place inside you. Bunching her legs beneath her, she pushes you down beneath her, your roles suddenly reversed. “Bet you’d let me do whatever I want to you like this, take whatever I give and say thank you so sweetly.” She punctuates her words with a slow roll of her hips that has you clawing at the mattress and babbling to fast for Jay to catch. “C’mon baby girl, speak up. Gotta ask for what you want.”

“I said, I said Iwantyoutoputababyinme,” you gasp, trying to turn away and hide your face in your arms. Your whole body is on fire with embarrassment.

“You want me to make you a mommy? Is that it?” she croons, delighted and shocked. “Well that’s easy baby, just had to say the words.” She draws back her hips and rams the strap home. “Gonna have to breed this pretty pussy up until she catches. Fill you up with so much cum it’s gonna be dripping out of you for days.”

You moan at the lewd image she paints for you, thighs tightening around her hips as she drills into you.

“Poor thing, been so empty waiting for me to put a baby in you, bet your cunt was aching for it.”

“Please,” you beg, head thrown back and thrashing as Jay mouths at your tit.

“You’re gonna look so pretty carrying my baby,” she tells you, works a hand between you to tap and pinch at your clit in a way that’s got you bucking beneath her. “Your breasts and belly would be so swollen with it, they’d swing from the weight of it when I fuck you.”

Arching your back into her you whimper. She slams your hips back down onto the bed and fucks you brutally with the strap. Your cunt makes wet, sloppy noises around it that are audible even over the fleshy smacks of her hips hitting yours.

“Gonna make you carry as many of my babies as you can, gonna breed your cunt over and over again until you’re full. You’re gonna forget what it feels like to have a womb empty of me,” she growls, pushes a proprietary hand down onto the womb she’s claiming for her use. Finds that perfect spot and then sets to rearrange your guts around her strap as she mouths and bites a pretty collar around your throat. Fucks into you until your eyes are rolling back and all you can see are stars, the slick drag of your cunt and the burning stretch of her cock drowning out everything else as you shake. Something’s building in your tummy, a kind of pleasure-pressure you haven’t felt before. Every time she thrusts into your cunt, whispers dirty words about stretching you out with as many babies as your cunt can take, it builds and builds until you feel stretched thin from the pressure of it all.

The damn breaks and you sob as you squirt through your orgasm. Pleasure running wild, tearing open your veins and reducing you down to a base needy thing only concerned with milking the strap still fucking her. Jay kisses you, slow and filthy as you sob and shake, squirt still running down your legs as you tear through your high. Gently she brushes the sweat soaked hair away from your face, peppers kisses to your eyelids, nose. Grins down at you so lovingly and satisfied.

“There she is, there’s my good baby girl. Gonna be my good little ma too.”

[theentropiceye]

Prologue 1

Ships on the Horizon

It is nearly dawnbreak on an isolated island. The waves roll repeatedly onto the shore, producing a cycle of crashing and retreating. No sun or moon are visible yet, but there is enough ambience light. 

An armored individual stands still on the last grass patches that lead to the shore, with only a handful of palm trees near him. His figure is motionless, except for the faint movement of his crimson cape in the breeze. 

He is covered in a weathered chestplate with golden details and wears a helmet adorned with wings on the sides. The upper section of the helmet is barely protected, exposing some of his features. The crimson cape adorning his back bears a pattern of a three-eyed monster’s face, intricately detailed in gold. 

In his hand, he wields a glowing, golden mace. Its light creates faint reflections on the ground. 

His eyes are fixed on the horizon. The distant outline of a ship remains idle on the sea. It is silent, mostly unlit, but strikingly large, despite it being in open sea. 

He shifts his weight and takes a step closer to the edge of the land, trying to scan the gargantuan ship. 

Nonetheless, a sound breaks the silence: the sound of hooves on packed earth. A rider approaches. The armored figure turns, gripping tightly his mace. The horse slows, and its rider dismounts, a tall woman with a diamond-tipped spear strapped to her back. 

THE RIDER (Approaching him, calm.): “You’re out early. Or perhaps you never went in?” 

THE FIGURE: “Oh, hello. It was my turn to stand guard.” 

THE RIDER: “Right… so anyway, you've been watching that ship?” 

THE FIGURE: “How couldn't I? Just look at it. It's too large for a merchant's ship.” 

THE RIDER (Stares at it for a moment): “What if it really is?” 

THE FIGURE: “As much as I wish it were, I don't think it that way. Do you see the bow?” 

THE RIDER (Scans the mast for a moment): “Yeah… it… it looks like the face of some sort of sea monster.” 

THE FIGURE: “I don't think any merchant would bother sailing on an overly massive ship with that feature. It's as if it's for intimidation purposes. Almost as if… it's a pirate ship.” 

THE RIDER: “Pirate ship? This close to the island? I don't think there's ever been pirates here. Do you think they know about us?” 

THE FIGURE (Glancing at her briefly.): “It could explain why's it here.” 

THE RIDER: “Then… what do we do? Should we rally everyone? Prepare defenses?” 

The figure remains silent for a few seconds, brining his right hand to his chin. The rider stares at him waiting for any response. None is given for a few seconds, until he finally delivers one. 

THE FIGURE: “Yes. I will go back to the village and warn everyone.” 

THE RIDER: “Are you seriously sure? Arthur, these guys from the village have barely any combat experience. The most they've done is kill zombies and skeletons!” 

ARTHUR (THE FIGURE): “Yes, Gwen. But you’re wrong on one thing: The most they have done is fight Illagers. Besides, we do have golems if the situation gets worse. They don't have to do all the fighting… if we have to do any at all.” 

GWEN (THE RIDER) (Pauses, glancing back at the ship.): “Do you think we should wait until sunrise? We’ll see more clearly then.” 

ARTHUR (Shaking his head.): “Waiting could cost us. If they’re pirates, then they might be already planning their move. We have to assume the worst.” 

GWEN (Nods firmly.): “Alright. You're the boss. I'’ll stay here and keep watch. You go warn them. And, Arthur…” 

ARTHUR (Turning back to her.): “Hmm?” 

GWEN: “I really hope you're wrong about this.” 

ARTHUR: “Me too.” 

The armored figure - now introduced as Arthur - steps away from the shore, heading back to where the village should be. His figure fades into the darkness of a tunnel behind him that leads to the inside of the island, leaving Gwen alone by the coast. She tightens her grip on her spear, her eyes never leaving the ship on the horizon. 

[writingonjorvik]

Can We Discuss Narrative Incompetence?

I want to go off on this thought a little longer, but it would be a hard tangent from the previous post I commented on about male characters in SSO being written to be incompetent (that's the summary of the thought) to go into this, so it's its own post now.

It is so frustrating because there is a purpose for narrative incompetence. It can help regulate tone, and lower the sense of threat, both of which are important for this being a kids' game. It can provide comic relief and relieve tension. But it has to be handled with balance.

The glaring problem with overusing narrative incompetence in a character who is supposed to be taken seriously, which the villains of a story should be, is that it will eventually circle back onto the main characters. Because if the villains are utterly incompetent, then why can't the heroes defeat them already? And if we add on the layer of issues with SSE's current stance on feminism and girl power : if all of the men are too incompetent to do anything, then what does it say about the competence of the women who still haven't stopped them?

It's one of the reasons that I've felt a particular disconnect with the overconfidence of the Soul Riders lately. Despite us seeing the absolute magical havoc the Dark Riders can cause, the Soul Riders are almost boastfully confident in themselves. In one of the recent quests with growing the seed for the Wild Weave, where we'd mostly been following Linda and the MC, they get cornered in a 2v1. And then Lisa shows up and tells Katja to scram, and Katja just does. Just like that. This also gets into the lack of definition in the full scope of the Soul Riders' abilities beyond "primary trope," but for the purpose of this discussion, it makes no sense for Lisa to be as confident as she is. Why couldn't the MC and Linda handle it on their own? It was a 2v1. Even with one of them protecting the seed, it's not an even match.

We are told over and over throughout the story that the druids, and thereby the current Soul Riders, are keeping the Dark Riders at bay. Not on the backfoot, at a neutral standstill. Worse, we see more examples in the story of the druids taking losses than we see examples of the Soul Riders winning. The lose of the Light Ceremony book, the capture of Lisa and Anne by Dark Core specifically, the Baroness feeling threatened enough by DC/Sands to imprison Linda, the death of Concorde, the death of Elizabeth, the kidnapping Justin for so long as to distract from dealing with the Light Ceremony book or rescuing Lisa and Anne, DC being allied with several witches as to have resources and allies that the druids don't, the discovery of Drakeonium, the restoration of three generals and the return of the fourth. To highlight on that too, the druids don't have any allies outside the druids currently. Tentatively they might have Ydris now, and Mrs. Holdsworth. But there is very little evidence in the narrative of how the druids are even holding their own with no outside help (in fact, there's now further division within the druids and the Keepers as these aren't the same thing) or ready supply of resources.

And yet when we interact with the Dark Riders and DC, they are largely incapable of stopping us in the moment. Their goons are inept, Darko is laughably emo and never shown as a serious threat (let alone shown any reason why he could unseat Sands), and Sands, despite his position as the current commander of Garnok's army, concedes his responsibilities to let his grandson escape. The latter would be an amazing point of interest to follow and talk about inner turmoil Sands is perhaps having now and internal shakeups within DC, but instead we have zeroed in on a cartoon villain level of evil that the other four must always be engaging in by monologuing and then being momentarily foiled by the MC. Because the villains can't be threats when we engage with them.

All of this circles back around to the Soul Riders and makes them look worse for not being able to handle these threats. They feel more and more like they are fumbling backwards into handling these issues, and it brings out their worse traits. Alex is incredibly clumsy and brash, Anne is almost mindlessly angry, Lisa's "eh"ness becomes more glaringly apparent, Linda seems excessively cautious. And none of these traits, individually, are bad. The exploration of them all would make sense in the narrative. Alex is afraid of letting everyone down but she struggles to be a forward thinker. Anne is justifiably upset about the death of her best friend and her imprisonment and desperately needs an outlet to direct that anger. Lisa is, as the party healer, always seeking to be the peacemaker and meet everyone at their needs, at the risk of becoming a people-pleaser herself and losing her identity. And Linda is a young person who can see the future, to include very likely the injuries (some of which are likely fatal) of her and her friends, to the point of fearing taking the wrong course of action.

Each of those would be fascinating to explore. But because the threat they're facing is so unable to actually feel like it's any danger, all of the Soul Riders' fears, their weaknesses and shortcomings, go unchallenged by the narrative. Thus highlighting their weaknesses over their strengths. There is no room to grow, because the force they are fighting against has not been serious enough that they've needed to. So they remain stagnant as characters, which is the worst thing for a main character to be.

And this isn't to say that so incompetent yet still able to pull off their goals can't be a seriously scary situation to be in. But that requires an incompetent head of the evil supported by a competent team of generals, of which we haven't gotten. All of the villains fluctuate on their competency on and off screen. And if the goal was to do this with Sands, Darko would have to seem more competent than him and he is not remotely close to being scarier than Sands. There is in fact no reason for Darko's character that couldn't be written in as being Sands. Every one of his scenes could be replaced and he could be written out entirely. That should say something about how useless he is as a character.

Circling back to the point about this being a broader issue with men in SSO not being able to be intelligent unless they're eccentric old men, this is incredibly damaging to little girls too. SSE has the prime opportunity to highlight healthy masculinity, men comfortable in being masc and femme and themselves, to show little girls (just to follow target audience) what healthy masculinity looks like so that they can set proper boundaries with the men in their lives. That doesn't require writing more male characters or not centering the female main characters. All it requires it writing the existing men in the story well. Showing them trying to help people, like the arcs I suggested for Justin training as a Wild Whisperer bonding people with horses, or Raptor taking over as a record label to help young women enter the industry like Lisa. And this is to gloss over entirely what it does to have those examples for little boys and how that is an important part of feminism too.

Because little girls do need to see those examples too. Most of them will grow up interested in men. That is just statistics. If they grow up thinking purely "men are just too inept to know any better" then we continue to prepare femme people to expect less than the bare minimum because "what else would you expect from a man?" And directly through that message, SSE perpetuates sexism and misogyny. And that message gets women killed every day.

[tgrailwar-zero]

Deciding to follow up on the Priest's lead, you managed to find THRUD and ADAMANT at the market. It was big and bustling, filled with a variety of Solar Cell denizens.

RULER accompanied you, and it was a simple enough explanation about why you were here.

ADAMANT: "So, you're going to help? I won't say no to a bigger hunting party!"

THRUD: "...Mister 'Blade'. I wasn't expecting to see you here."

GIUSEPPE: "News traveled to me and I was curious. There's no hard feelings about our match, right?"

The Valkyrie remained relatively expressionless, but her brow did furrow slightly.

THRUD: "...A grudge would be a waste of memory space. Come, you're just in time, let's be off. We have no time to waste."

She turned, adjusting the pack she had gotten and began heading outward.

The journey out was a bit longer than you expected. It wasn't long by any means, but without RIDER summoning steeds, you were moving on foot. Still, it was a good way to take in the scenery, and the Solar Cell was certainly lush with foliage once you left the metropolitan districts. THRUD gave a brief overview of what you were dealing with.

THRUD: "The Priest said that it had re-appeared recently. Apparently, it had been on the outskirts of the Solar Cell, wandering blindly, circling around and around before finally reaching the mainland. It was reported to have been slowly growing in stature…"

She continued to talk, though the description was beginning to sound familiar. You reached a forested area, ducking into the brush as you all traveled off the beaten path.

ADAMANT: "The Priest said that based on the path, it should be… around here!"

GIUSEPPE: "I hope so, we've been walking for some time."

THRUD: "We'll set up a base camp. And then--"

She was cut off by the the sound of massive footsteps echoing, thundering as something approached from the far distance.

Thundering steps, drawing closer. Closer. Closer. Each one shaking the earth more and more as whatever behemoth was causing them drew nearer.

You saw a massive form. Two massive pairs of feet crashing down, knocking down trees as if they were twigs. Your eyes scanned up the sleek black frame, before you caught a glimpse in the parting of the trees.

'SAKURA SUPERBIA'-- or, more properly, ALTER-EGO. It didn't seem like there was a chance to de-Alter her before the Blue base had been destroyed.

Really, it seemed like she was having a terrible time here.

First, her summoning was botched and she needed to be calmed.

Then there was the first time she had gotten blown up because of you as you followed the advice of a very convincing virus over the reasoning of the Blue faction.

And then the second time she got blown up because of you, because of the Larval Beast that you accidentally set forth upon the Solar Cell that forcibly corrupted her body.

Your AVENGER did snap her out of her first mana-starved rampage-- and sure, you forcibly ripped him away from her, but he did come back. And then her base was destroyed, and her allies were scattered to the wind before she could be properly recovered, so now she existed as a pseudo-dragon of a Beast that was no longer present, and she seemed like she was in a pretty bad way, and now she was on a warpath towards one of the most densely populated cities of the Solar Cell.

So. You know. There was that to keep in mind. This was probably a situation that you'd have to handle with violence, care, or a mixture of both. She let out a deafening, yet pained bellow.

She didn't exactly sound happy. She sounded mad. And angry. And upset. And enraged. And other synonyms for 'furious'. It didn't seem like music was going to be the cure-all here, at least not while she was in this state.

THRUD: "Okay. We'll have to be cautious here. Right now we have the element of surprise, so we'll have to plan."

ADAMANT: "That's a seriously giant, uh, giant! And is she getting bigger…?"

GIUSEPPE: "I can see why the Priest needed us to bring her down. Luckily, she's not moving quickly. Any ideas?"

He focused it to you, though you realized he left out any titles. Potentially because the others didn't know that he was your Servant yet, and wanted to keep that information locked down.

[drakaripykiros130ac]

How tired I am to hear about how “romantic” and so “in love” Daemon must have been to fight that duel for Laena’s hand. Those same people are the ones who claim that Daemon never loved Rhaenyra. Seriously???

The truth is that Daemon didn’t fight that duel for Laena. He fought it for himself.

After over a decade of marriage to an Andal woman he despised, Daemon was finally free. He was mid-thirties and had the chance to take what he had always wanted: a Valyrian spouse.

The main reason why Daemon has always hated Rhea so much was because he was the only grandchild of Jaehaerys and Alysanne who was stuck with an Andal wife for the sake of an unnecessary alliance with the Vale (Viserys already consolidated that through his marriage to Aemma. She was a Targaryen by blood and an Arryn as well - two birds, one stone).

Daemon has always seen himself as the new Conqueror, so to speak, and because of his talents, he has always believed that he deserves a Valyrian wife, and Valyrian children.

Rhaenyra was the only woman Daemon desired for himself. She ticked all the boxes: Valyrian, Targaryen Princess, a dragon rider, the most beautiful girl in the Realm. And above all that, they had always been enamored with one another, their personalities matched and they greatly enjoyed each other’s company. Daemon wanted her, and with Rhea gone, he was determined to have her as the ideal wife he had always dreamed of.

Unfortunately, regardless of how much Rhaenyra herself wanted Daemon, Viserys denied them their long desired union.

With Rhaenyra set to marry Laenor, Daemon, as much as he wanted her, didn’t really have the time to wait around for her to become available again. He had an opportunity here to make his own choices. His dreaded wife was dead, and he was mid-thirties. He had no children and no fortune of his own. He couldn’t wait.

So, he moved on to the next best thing, the only other available Valyrian girl in Westeros, Laena Velaryon. She was beautiful, a dragon rider, Valyrian and heiress to the great Velaryon fortune.

Laena represented the perfect solution to all of Daemon’s problems. He could finally have a Valyrian wife (though not the one he initially wanted) who could give him Valyrian children, as well as a fortune he needed, because as a second son, he only had Caraxes and Dark Sister to his name. And there’s a bonus there as well: Laena was the sister of Rhaenyra’s husband, which would give Daemon access to Rhaenyra and an excuse to remain close to her.

So that duel he fought with the Braavosi lord was not for Laena, but for himself, to secure his future. He was not getting any younger, he wanted children and a fortune of his own. He didn’t fight that duel because he was in love with Laena. He fought it because this was his only chance to get a wife of his choosing, the only remaining Valyrian girl who fit his criteria.

Laena was his Rhaenyra replacement. Proof of that is how he married Rhaenyra not long after she was gone. He did care for her, I am sure, but he never truly loved her as he did Rhaenyra.

Seriously, if during the duel, word came that Rhaenyra was once again available and wanted him for a husband, Daemon would have instantly dropped that sword, got on Caraxes, and left Laena and the Braavosi lord with their mouths hanging open.

[nerdieforpedro]

Christmas List

Robbie Reyes (Ghost Rider - AOS) x female reader

Fanfiction rating: All ages

(My entire blog though is 18+)

Masterlist

Summary: You make lists for many of the things you do. Robbie found one of your lists and it made him think about his relationship with you.

Notes: I watched all ten of Gabriel Luna's Ghost Rider episodes. I wanted to write something that was fluffy. I still have a little fluff in me. Might even be able to write more.

Warnings: None, all fluff (Scout’s honor)

Word count: 671 (Drabble 🤭)

Robbie sat at the kitchen table staring at a list you’d left. You were big on them, making them for shopping, tasks at work, keeping track of tasks around the house, all sorts of things. He didn’t expect that before you went out shopping for groceries you’d started another list, a more personal one:

Mention that Christmas is in a few weeks - done

Put up some decorations, not too many to start - done for now haven’t settled on a tree yet

Find ugly sweater from last year - found it need a new one too small

See if I can convince Robbie to wear a Christmas sweater - wore it under his jacket so a win?

Maybe can get him to wear a cute hat with a bell 

Find a little red dress with whatever that white fuzz stuff fringe maybe - ask Anna 

Buy Robbie some red boxers for fun - even if he doesn’t wear them it will still make me giggle.

Bake cookies with Robbie - neither of us should burn them maybe

Ask him about visiting my family - we’ll visit Gabe and his girlfriend first. Might be too early to ask.

Reyes chuckled to himself softly reading over the things you wanted to buy for him but also do with him. Your list was primarily centered on him and while that did warm his heart, he wondered why you’d only had one ask of him. 

Visiting your family.

Robbie and Gabe’s parents were gone from this world long ago and hadn’t told you about his uncle and all that happened with him. From the look on your face, you suspected more but didn’t push it. Gabe had changed the subject to making fun of Robbie never wearing sandals on account of his messed up feet which led to a roar of laughter from the table but he knew you hadn’t forgotten. He wondered what else you held back on because you were good at reading emotions he thought he hid.

When you came through the door with both hands full of groceries, you smiled and kissed his cheek. After setting them down on the table you paused after hearing a small chime. Robbie was wearing a red elf hat with a bell attached at the end with the red sweater you’d bought him - no jacket over it.

“Hey Chica, I found a good hat, though I’m not sold on those boxers.” He grinned and heat came to your cheeks. He’s seen your list. After putting away all the groceries, the both of you sat down as you sipped some egg nog. You’d gone and put on your own green sweater that had snowflakes on it. Laughs were had as he bobbed his head around making it jingle more.

“Did you read the entire thing?” You asked after taking another sip of your egg nog and licking your top lip.

“Yeah I did. You could have just asked me, I’d love to visit Gabe and his girl.” He leaned forward on the table, titling his head, but difficult to take seriously because he softly chimed. 

“I wasn’t sure how to ask. You didn’t even want me to tell them about you until a few months ago, after I had moved in. I already let them know my address change but they didn’t know why Robbie. I…” Trailing off, you looked away before reaching across and taking ahold of his hand, your thumb tracing his knuckles.

“I love you and I’m proud on you. I know you’re not always because of the darkness in you but you’re more than that. You’re my Robbie. I wanna show you off.” Your grip strengthened with the wide smile you gave him.

Pensive, Robbie stood and walked around the table, placing an arm across your shoulders. “Chica wants to show me off huh? Alright. We’ll see Gabe and then head to your family. You are always telling me about your Mom’s sweet potato bake. I'll get to taste it in person.” He pecks your cheek and holds you tight.

A promise of a new Christmas tradition.

Tag list: @musings-of-a-rose @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @trulybetty @legendary-pink-dot @morallyinept @undercoverpena @laurfilijames @linzels-blog @frenchiereading @secretelephanttattoo @for-a-longlongtime @rhoorl @fhatbhabie @megamindsecretlair @saturn-rings-writes @pamasaur @grogusmum @sp00kymulderr @theywhowriteandknowthings @maggiemayhemnj @magpiepills @yorksgirl @fhatbhabie

[oddlylovingaddiction]

Yandere!Evon Malk x has common fucking sense, works by running the goggle Twimmer account, leftist!Reader

DO NOT SUE ME PLEASE. THIS IS SATIRE AND JUST FOR FUN…. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEA—

TW! KIDNAPPING, REFERENCED STALKING, BILLIONARES, IMPLIED FUTURE FORCED MARRIAGE??

You’ve been working for goggle for awhile. You’re okay at your job. You’re mostly customer support, which means you get screaming adults accusing you of stealing their wifi. However today you have been promoted to the job at goggle everyone envies. Running the Twimmer account for goggle. It pays really well. Which is good, you aimed for a high paying job to help homeless people in your spare time. You often provide for your community with a community garden, a daycare you run on the weekends with some of your favourite leftist tambourinlr users, and more. You’re just a hardworking, kind, person. Well. Usually…. you see you just found out that Twimmer is now owned by Evon malk. And you fucking hate billionaires, especially Evon Malk, because he’s a dumbass. You’ve already made several billionaires and companies lives more difficult (including goggle.) by egging their houses… So, you made a goal. You shall tweet bad things about Evon Malk. Using the goggle Twimmer account.

Day 1.

The first twimt and the twimt you would come to regret:

“Good morning Twimmer Users!” You start off light, calling Twimmer its true name and not whatever bogus Evon renamed it. Just Little pokes you know?

Day 18.

“Why does Twimmer look like an adult rated site…?” Good, you’re getting the hang of it. Really making fun of Twimmer was easy as shit so you didn’t have to do much.

Day 50.

“ @.Evon Malk is #BLOCKED by goggle!” That’s when you hit them, the big one for your 50th twimt. Of course everyone who was a billionaire D-rider was pissed however mainly everyone thought it was funny. After all of that, You decide to go out for drinks with your friends after successfully making fun of him for a whole 50 days. Little did you know… this action would have consequences…

As you were walking home from the bar suddenly BAM! you get hit over the head with a metal pipe and you crash out. The next thing you know you’re tied up on a chair in a dark room, you’re scared, rightfully so. You can’t see anything, other than the small crack of light from underneath the door… Suddenly the door opens, a stream of light blinding you, you scream but of course you have a mouth gag on…. then he enters…

EVON MALK?

You were flabbergasted.

“My love…” Evon Malk said as he quickly rushed to your chair and hugs your legs stuck on the chair. You were extremely confused… Evon Malk? Calling YOU his LOVE? He must’ve gone mad. “I saw those twimts about me… Ive always been in love with you but when you twimted about me I knew our love was mutual…” He caressed your face lovingly and you felt extremely confused, more confused than you were already. He undid your gag, you had no doubt there was no one who would come help you if you screamed. “What… how do you know me?” You whimper, you’re so close to tears and fucking biting off his nose but you don’t. “My mom picked you out when I was 10 from a large data base containing a list of potential brides. Of course I was originally going to rizz you up the normal way. However you already knew me. You already loved me. Honestly all that stalking was useless now but seriously I’m just glad our love was mutual.” He said kissing your cheek. You gag from the kiss. He gives you a foul look and puts back on your gag that you originally had on. “I’m going to pretend you’re just sick okay love?” He said smiling at you before he grabbed your chair and carried you out of the room and into his regular house.

You were so confused.

All you knew was that you probably wouldn’t be home anytime soon.

And you were right. The next thing you know you’re strapped to an alter being forced to marry Evon. But that’s for another story….

Part 2? Maybe at like 5k notes or when I get motivation LMFAO..

[blapis-blazuli]

Now listen up

I am obsessed with this man. He's got so many weird details about him and I love (almost) all of them.

First, Slim's original concept fucks. Being an undead cattle rustler out for bull's blood due to being trampled to death is fascinating. I don't know how long it took before someone at Disney cried "too dark" at that backstory, but I'm surprised it was even in consideration given the mostly lighter tone of the final product. More than that, Disney could've had a literal ghost rider among their villains! Had that movie been any good, he might've joined Disney's popular villain lineup, or maybe we could've even gotten a boss battle with him in a Kingdom Hearts game. That's not what we ended up with due to Reasons, though, which is a bit disappointing, but not much you can do about that.

Anyway, onto what we did get.

Before Slim makes his formal appearance, he's only seen in silhouette, on a wanted poster, then in disguise, and is finally fully revealed when he rides in on a bison. He is huge, and I don't mean because he's fat, I mean he's a good deal taller than most of the other characters. He's set up to be someone threatening, to be taken seriously.

And then comes his yodeling villain song.

The moment it's revealed that Slim's yodeling can hypnotize cows, the music picks up and there's a literal rainbow of colors for the rest of his number. As I said, he's a big man, but he's also light enough on his feet to dance and jump on and off any of these cows while not missing a beat in his performance. When the men who got knocked out beforehand come running after him, he doesn't threaten them, he just throws his spurs at a precarious bit of rocky landscape with such force that it falls and blocks the pathway to him. That's more badass than if he did draw his gun on them.

Actually, I wanna talk about the music he performs. The movie's set in Wyoming during 1889, so obviously Slim's not gonna be yodeling A Cruel Angel's Thesis or whatever. They could’ve come up with something original for him to yodel to (which, I mean, they kinda do), but they chose music by composers such as Tchaikovsky and Beethoven, which aren't exactly things you'd associate with the wild west. The obvious out-of-universe answer for why those pieces were chosen is "they existed before the year this is set in, and they're recognized even today," but we've no in-universe answer for why he chose them or how he knows them. Regardless, it's kinda amazing that he knows them well enough to yodel them.

His lair in Echo Mine has an area with some nice furniture in it. How'd this shit get there? Who knows. Anyway, this is where he reveals that he disguises himself to buy up the properties owned by the people he's stolen cattle from, which includes his former employers. Why doesn't he work for any of them anymore? He never directly says. According to him, they didn't "appreciate [his] talents," which means they probably hated his yodeling. I don't blame him for being mad about that because why the hell would you tell someone that? If he's doing the job right and well without hurting anyone, then who cares? The idea that he's moved on to use a skill against the former bosses who didn't like it is kinda great though.

(Side note: a nice, small detail about this part of the lair is the faded branding on the map, which shows that Slim has been doing this for quite a while. Shame that it's not more consistent from shot to shot though. I can't take credit for noticing this myself: my partner pointed it out after I posted a screenshot as a joke on Discord. She's so cool.)

Slim doesn't like it when someone calls his yodeling "singing": he thinks singing is beneath him given the disdain in his voice when he says that's what birds, saloon gals, and children do. No, he considers what he does to be an art. He's not entirely wrong, though: it is an impressive skill, especially since he can yodel to certain classical pieces like The William Tell Overture, Ode to Joy, Ride of the Valkyries, and The 1812 Overture. (Also Yankee Doodle, because, well, American. Also maybe Largo al factotum from The Barber of Seville, but I'm unsure of that one: unlike Slim, I am no classical music expert.) There's no need for him to be quite as defensive about it as he is, but his nephews calling it "singing," saying that might be why his bosses didn't like him, and calling yodeling "silly" is enough to make him get violently angry at them. Man's got issues.

Oh yeah, Slim has nephews. They're triplets named Gil, Phil, and Bill, and they're collectively known as The Willies. Unlike their uncle, they're all blond and thin, so god knows what Slim's unnamed and unmentioned sibling must look like.

Slim also has a bison named Junior. I'm not fond of the whole "he's too fat to ride anything else" angle of that, but I do like that they chose an animal that people are constantly told to not mess with because of how dangerous they are. Slim's not afraid of him: he's got this creature trained to listen when he calls for him. I can only guess that Slim is the one who named Junior, so maybe he also raised him. It would explain why Junior appears annoyed with him but still puts up with having Slim jump on his back and the like.

You know what Slim doesn't have though? Kids. Putting together the disdain in his voice when he mentions children, his seemingly low opinion of saloon girls, his big villain number turning the landscape into a rainbow of colors, the queer history of cowboys, and the prevalence of queer-coding in Disney villains... well, I think you get where I'm going with that.

Moving onto his disguise. Don't ask me why nobody figured out this was Slim sooner, given that his wanted poster shows they have the same facial hair, bushy eyebrows, and bags under the eyes. My best guess is because it's in black-and-white and he's in a different outfit, and unless someone's encountered him before they probably don't know what he sounds like. Anyway, His alias is Yancy O'del (yeah, I know), but the one sign we see him with has both "Mister" and "Esquire" in there.

Having looked this up, I learned a few things. First, having "Mister" and "Esquire" together isn't something you're supposed to do, yet nobody in-universe caught this. Second, in the United States, "Esquire" is a title only used for lawyers, so maybe that's why nobody questioned him - fear of a sudden lawsuit for something or other. Third, "Yancy" was not really a name used back then, or at least not a common one. Why'd he choose that name (besides for the pun)? I dunno.

(Also, where the hell does Junior stay whenever he goes to one of these auctions? The world may never know.)

Slim's final defeat at the hooves/wings/what-have-you of several farm animals is pretty pathetic, even by silly Disney villain standards, but I got to give him credit for not wanting to give up even after his disguise is (literally) blown and while he's stuck in a train's smokestack. I have no idea how he planned on getting out of that one, and whatever it was most likely wouldn't have worked anyway, but I admire his refusal to back down in the face of obvious defeat.

Even in his very last scene we see him struggling with the ropes they tied around him while he's carted off to jail. He does not give up.

Anyway, here he is picking up Small Black Market Dealer Steve Buscemi one-handed like it's nothing. (His name is Wesley, but Slim keeps calling him Mister Weasley. That's right, this movie used that joke before Frozen did.)

And here he is lifting three full-grown cows off the ground before tying them up faster than they can react to it. (The cows have names too, but this post ain't about them.)

He uses his left hand to write and aim his gun and seems just as adept with using it as much as his right, which is cool. (There's no frame with both his face and the gun, so you'll have to trust me on that.)

Speaking of his hands

Look at this huge-ass man and his pinkies, I can't with this dude

Look at that smile, sir, who gave you the right

If there were a whole movie about just these two, I'd watch it, I won't even lie.

I've gone on about this guy for probably too long by this point, so to sum it all up:

Babygirl

[pop-pop-pop-popculture]

I finished watching Quiet on the Set: The Dark Side of Kids TV around 12:30 AM, and I am absolutely speechless and mortified. The amount of sexual innuendo these minors were scripted to do under Dan Schneider's orders is beyond disgusting! Example: Ariana [Grande] was trying to squeeze a potato, which clearly looked sexual, and then lied upside down on a bed pouring water on herself while squealing and moaning. “Mmm, I’m thirsty!”, she said in a youthful yet slightly seductive tone. Another example: Jamie [Lynn Spears] had goo-like substance accidentally squirted on her face by her costar Alexa Nikolas (who's character, by the way, was heavily sexualized alongside Jamie and her character). Given how disgusting of a man Dan was, the substance intentionally looked like c*m. It was supposed to be a comical moment, but Spears clearly looked uncomfortable. Some other points:

The unsetting things the cast members from All That were put through, such as Bryan Hearne. He portrayed a rapper named Lil' Fetus. That alone is just racist. The costume and position he was forced to wear and be in... WOW. I have no words.

I vividly remember the kid version of 'Fear Factor' on Nickelodeon, but I never really watched it. Seeing some of the dares the kids had to do, such as put a live scorpion in your mouth or get peanut butter licked off your bare body by dogs, looked absolutely terrifying and, for some, traumatizing.

Drake [Bell]. WOW. Everything Brian [Peck] did to him at age 15...

"I was sleeping on the couch where I would usually sleep and I woke up to him, I opened my eyes, I woke up and he was sexually assaulting me, and I froze and in complete shock and had no idea what to do or how to react, and I had no idea how to get out of the situation. What? Am I going to call my mom and be like, ‘Hey, this just happened. Can you come pick me up? I’ll just sit here and wait.’ I had no car, I didn’t drive. I was 15 at this time."

There were 41 people that wrote their letter of support to Brian.

"His entire side of the courtroom was full. FULL. There were definitely some recognizable faces on that side of the room, and my side was, uh, me, my mom, and my brother. Brian had been convicted, but getting all this support from a lot of people in the industry and... yeah ... I was pretty shocked. My mom got up, she had a statement. I wasn't going to address Brian. There was no... no reason to.”

Brian pleaded no contest for two charges of child sexual abuse: "lewd or lascivious act" and "oral copulation" to a child under 16 years-old. 'No contest', man, seriously????

He literally only got sentenced 16 months in prison and had to register himself as a sex offender. That's it. What the fuck?! Oh, yeah, and then he ended up working on the Disney Channel show The Suite Life of Zack & Cody some time after his sentence was up. Again, what the actual fuck?!

A few of the petitioners that were stated are James Marsden (not Prince Edward from Enchanted!), Taran Killam (I only know him from SNL, but this still stunned me!), Alan Thicke, Thomas DeSanto, Ron Melendez, Rider Strong, and Will Friedle.

The amount of sexual references is ridiculous and, now, as an adult, uncomfortable to watch. I can't believe all of those [sexual references] went over my head as a kid! Dan said he knew kids watching these actions would find them funny, so that's why he made these minors do them.

The entire incident involving 12-year-old Brandi and former production assistant Jason Handy. Her mother, who was a legal assistant for Hollywood, said she didn't know if she should call the police or not after he emailed 12-year-old Brandi a nude picture (who, by the way, immediately ran to her room while screaming and then crying). She decided to not call the police because she didn't want to be seen as a "bad parent".

(previous bullet point continued) That is your DAUGHTER. I hope Brandi doesn't talk to her mother to this day.

Jason literally had a journal where he wrote about his feelings towards children, especially little girls. He admitted (in writing) that he wanted to go as far as to “r*pe” little girls too…

Penelope Taynt. I loved this character, and The Amanda Show! Please go research what a "taint" is...

Don't get me started on Amanda Bynes and everything that happened to her and her career, and what all happened between her and Dan. He got way too close to her...!

There's a lot more, but I'll end the bullet points here. I recommend watching this horrifying documentary. Dan was a misogynist, racist, egoistical, and disgusting man who had too much power. The more famous he became, the more powerful and rude he was to the cast (most all of who were minors) and crew.

🌷 March 20, 2024 🌷

[batsplat]

i just remember something i meant to ask ages ago but why did Valentinos relationship with Honda end so bad like was he already wanting to switch bike for the 2004 season or was he happy to stay at Honda if things didn't go sideways. Cause I know why he left Yamaha for Ducati, i just haven't found definite sources and reasoning for his Honda to Yamaha switch. (also while i'm here I am going to start a vale career watch once I finish Marcs (upto 2019 atleast i dont think im ready for the honda dark years just yet so i'll make myself feel a little better by watching Vale who will also be joined by Dani, Jorge and Casey)) so excited to watch caseys 2007 season when I get to it, i'm Australian and i've always been aware of him i saw an advert of his on my train the other day so that was fun this ask got so sidetracked sorry, but i'm definalty going to go over your race rec tag but i'll probably just end up watching whole seasons cause i like having the context of things if something in a previous race is going to set up tension in later races.

okay, so this is MOSTLY covered in the sete post. which I understand is a bit long lol so I'll try and give the sparknotes version here. he was getting kinda miserable at honda! winning felt too routine... the way he frames it is that he didn't feel like honda particularly appreciated his efforts and thought it was mostly just their bike doing the trick, not the rider. he talks about it in this autobiography excerpt - he felt like nobody was really getting enthusiastic about his victories anymore, that it was just expected of him, and honda didn't really give a shit if it was him or someone else doing the winning. throw in the press who were also giving him a tough time in early 2003... it just wasn't fun anymore. valentino needs stimulation, he needs challenges, he wants to feel like he's part of a team and he wants to feel loved by that team (and love them in return). it's partly an ego thing and partly just... a question of passion. winning felt too easy and it felt like it had lost his meaning - like it was just a job

and y'know, yamaha did actively court them. which even valentino at the beginning was deeply sceptical of... even though he already felt dissatisfied with honda over the winter of 2002-03, switching to another manufacturer just felt like competitive suicide. he was also being courted by ducati - and even though it doesn't seem like he seriously considered that, until quite late in the season it looked like he might go any of three ways. iirc ducati was willing to throw a particularly obscene amount of money his way lol. but in the end, valentino felt that ducati would be much like honda in their disconnect from its riders and their refusal to listen to them (gosh, could someone not have read his own words back to him in 2010). yamaha was willing to build their whole team around him... and it was also just a special challenge. it'd be something new!! valentino isn't really built for easy domination I reckon, like he just has a trigger in his brain every 2-3 years that starts making him a bit restless idk

and yeah, I always think watching full seasons is well worth it!! there's some seasons that really live and die by the complete storylines, the sense of tension and build-up - especially the first half of 2003, 2004, 2006 and 2008 don't work anywhere near as well without context I reckon. and obviously I'm a massive casey fan... though I will warn you that for reasons entirely unrelated to casey, there is a massive drop-off in average race quality between 2006 and 2007 lol. I'm actually intending to go back over the winter break and fix up my casey race recs list because it was the first I did and quite casual when compared to the later ones - I thought I could do that one without consulting my notes, which in retrospect was a bit high on the hubris and I feel like I want to do that one justice. casey's actually already a really fun presence in 2006!! it doesn't show as much in the results because he'd often drop back or crash, but you see quite a lot of him - including the first few fights with valentino. he has a very pedro-like rookie season if you want a cheap and easy comparison... results are a bit worse on paper but the vibe is quite similar, including the spectacular early season form that trailed off for various reasons. but I do have a lot of fondness for 2007, even if it has some absolute howlers. qatar, mugello, catalunya, assen, donington and estoril the highlights as I recall. still wish we'd gotten casey/valentino with a continuation of the 2006 engine regs and just like. dogfights galore featuring those two... but on the plus side, I suppose laguna 2008 wouldn't have hit quite as hard if it hadn't been such a contrast to everything else happening during that time

[thehufflepuff02]

Chapter nine—Jake

Jake gathered the clans with Neytiri by his side. His strong, independent, fierce mate. The woman he loves with his whole heart. The clans followed him. They followed Toruk Macto, rider of the last shadow. They returned with hundreds- thousands of Na’vi prepared to fight. The Ikran swept down from the sky in colorful swarms. Some arrived on dire horse. The tree of souls filled with warriors.

Neytiri gripped his hand as the couple watched proudly of the army they brought together. Unlike humans, the Na’vi cared about each other no matter the cultural differences or distance between them. They protected one another through thick and thin. 

Norm was there, in his human form when Jake unlinked. “The clans are willing to fight with us.” Jake told him, pushing himself down into his wheelchair with a grunt. “Everyone is at the tree of souls preparing.” He felt the affects of being linked for so long, his body screaming for food. Hunger gnawing at his insides.

“Before you say nothing else, I need to go grab Trudy and Grace. If I don’t they will probably team up and kill me.” Norm said quickly, putting a exo-pack on and rushing out the door.

It took some maneuvering but Grace managed to get inside the shack. Despite the situation they were currently dealing with, Jake had to hold back his smile. Any other day he would have made fun the the scientist.

“You and Neytiri did it? The clans came?” Grace asked.

“Yea, doc.” Jake gave her a proud smile. “Have you guys heard from Max at all?” 

“We got a message saying he will try to get in contact the moment it’s safe.” Norm explained.

“It has to be a total shit show back at hell’s gate.” Trudy mused. “Without the head of the Avatar department,” she gestured to Grace. “And their obvious best pilot.” She put her hand on her chest.

The other three looked at her, definitely not amused.

“Sorry…too soon?” Trudy asked. “Just trying to lighten the mood.”

“Too soon, babe.” Norm agreed, rubbing her back. 

Ringing coming in from the comm alerted them. “That’s gotta be Max.” Jake quickly said, going to answer it. “Right?”

Grace nodded. “Yea it’s him.” 

Jake accepted the call. 

Max’s face appeared on the screen. “I don’t know how secure this channel is.”

“Talk fast.” Jake told him seriously.

“It’s crazy around here, Jake. It’s full mobilization. They’re rigging up the shuttles as bombers. They’ve made these pallets of mine explosives,” Jake saw as Grace paled at the word explosives. “It’s for some kind of shock and awe campaign.”

“Fucking daisy cutters.” Trudy cursed.

“Holy shit.” Norm spoke.

“Can you talk to Selfridge? Maybe we can get some sorta deal before this goes all the way.” Jake ask, doubtfully.

Max shook his head. “No, Quaritch has taken over. He rolling and there’s no stopping him.”

“When?” Grace asked, stepping in when Jake mulls over the last thing Max said.

“Why are you in your av—” he begins to ask, when Grace came on the screen.

“Now isn’t the time for an explanation. When is Quaritch planning on rolling in?” 

“Oh six hundred tomorrow.” Max told them. 

Before anyone could thank Max, he whipped his head around and shut down the call.

“We’re completely screwed.” Norm deadpanned. “We can’t go up against gun ships and bombs.”

“You know he’s gonna commit those bombers straight to the tree of souls.” Trudy pointed out.

“That’s right. Because I gave it to him on a silver plate.” Jake knew this was his fault, the guilt was eating him up. If he wasn’t so stupid they might not be here right now.

“We both did.” Trudy admits. 

“It would have happened sooner or later even if the two of you weren’t feeding Quaritch information.” Grace assured them the best she could. 

“If he goes for the tree of souls it’s over. It’s their main line to Eywa, to their ancestors. It would destroy them.” Norm reminds.

“Then I guess we better stop them.” Jake announces like it wasn’t already the plan. 

“Jake, you need some rack.” Grace told him, changing the subject when she noticed his dark bruise like eye bags. She gave him a slightly scary glare that was daring him to object. “You look awful.” 

“Jeez. Thanks for the compliment, mom.” Jake rolls his eyes. He was fine. He didn’t need sleep. What he needed was to help prepare. How would anyone even expect him to sleep now?

“I wouldn’t need to act like your mother if you actually took care of yourself. That goes for all of you.” Grace said, looking at the kids she didn’t sign up to take care of. 

“Yes, mom.” The three of them said in unison. 

“That’s it. I’m going to let Mo’at know we got in contact with Max.” Grace left, squeezing herself through the door. 

Trudy looked Jake in the eyes. “If you don’t eat and get some rack there will be consequences and I don’t feel like dealing with an angry doctor Augustine.”

“She’s right.” Norm added.

“Fine.” Jake obeyed. “I’ll go get some food. I’m not promising anything about sleeping, coffee will have to do.”

[jaysbookofnothing]

Forth Wing Review

What is there not to love about the fourth wing? We have dragons, we have a found family, we have smut, a mildly confusing plot, an enemy to a lover that moves by too fast for it to be an enemy to a lover. So let's go into my thoughts about it. The story follows Violet Sorrengail, who, despite her small stature and preference for scholarly pursuits, is forced by her mother to join the elite dragon rider academy, Basgiath War College.

Violet Sorrengail, the protagonist—I didn't mind her that much; she was an okay character. I wish we got more onto her having a cronic illness or having a disability of some sort that would excuse the whole "Youre too weak" thing because it got annoying to read so many people call her weak when she's pretty average. Another thing I liked about Violet being short was that she didn't just get forgotten about immediately; she had to get extra things to make up for it.

Xaden Riorson was okay—nothing amazing, nothing horrible—to me personally. didn't like how quickly he and Violet were set up as enemies and then to just not be? It felt more like Violet thinking they were enemies, but Xaden not caring that much and just trying to not get in trouble?? I liked the rebellion set up at the end of the book; it felt like a nice tie-in. As said before, he's just another tall, dark, and handsome guy with shadow powers, as if we don't already have hundreds of them. I am curious as to how he's going to become king at the end, though (I think we're all aware that the rebellion is going to win and they'll be king and queen, yada yada). The whole "violence" thing is such a disgusting thought, and I will never forgive him for it. 

The dragons—yes, I am thinking of the dragons as characters because they are!! I honestly wanted more of the dragons; I wish there were more conversations with them, especially due to the bond and being able to talk to them. It just felt like a loss. I just really like dragons, okay?

Dian Aethos, nepo baby Gale. He's just annoying and pathetic. At the end, we say that his power is seeing people's memories after touching them, and how all through the book he was touching Violet (and reading her memory) just rubbed me the wrong way. The fact that he always tried to downplay her and never took her seriously annoyed me as well. It was funny to see him take up Xaden's role in the second book and look so weak in comparison. I wouldn't mind a revenge arc for him, honestly; I just want to go off and live his sad wet dog life somewhere else.

Rhiannon Matthias, I honestly don't know if I can count her as a main character, but since that's what the wiki says, I shall. Rhia is cool; she's ready to fight for Violet. She's a good friend, and I'm excited to see what happens to her plot line!

My nitpicks now! It was confusing as to why children of the rebellion aren't allowed to gather in groups of 3 or more but are still able to bond with dragons. I get they are forced to join in order to kill them, but if they don't die, then they have a dragon??? There was also (in my opinion) a lot of foreshowing, like Xadens always saying cryptic things about Violet's brother and Yada Yada. I don't have much to say that's bad. Fourth Wings is your basic romantic book for those who are into it. It was an entertaining read; of course there's criticism to be given, but I don't think it should be hated, like it's the worst thing ever. 

[fantasyinvader]

I can’t help but feel the victim blaming is a side effect of the writing.

The game was built around Silver Snow and the fact that as a teacher you have to fight against your former student. The game even ties the hero routes to the Three Poisons, meaning that the attachment Byleth has to Edelgard can potentially lead them down a dark path. But in practice this means the player has to unlock the ability to choose the bad end, meaning that even if they pick Edelgard as their House leader they may not be at the point where Byleth’s decision making process is compromised when they get to the end of White Clouds. This means that “not getting close to Edelgard” is just as effective, if not moreso, than getting close then realizing you need to fight her. If you ignore Edelgard, be it while teaching the Eagles or simply picking another class, you don’t have the option to royally screw things up.

If the player doesn’t care about Edelgard, then the writing doesn’t work and the game fucking knows this. So it tries every trick in the book to make us care. “Isn’t it so sad you have to fight her? Isn’t there some way you could get along? Maybe if you picked her, you could have led her back to the righteous path. She was manipulated, and it’s not like the other parties are all innocent either.”

FUCK. OFF. GAME.

I think one way the game goes wrong is that Edelgard had her fall long before we met her. At the beginning of the game, she’s already at the point where she arranges the assassination of her classmates like a goddamn school shooter and I can’t help but compare this to Keiwa from Kamen Rider Geats.

Keiwa fell. He fell hard and we watched it. He goes from a character who would normally be a lead in this franchise, who calls back to so many past leads, he goes from that to this

There was foreshadowing, there was how the show wasn’t afraid to call his shortsightedness and occasional holier than thou attitude out, as well as him slipping. His entire story has been building to this. And that’s why people care about him as his sanity deteriorates. We know that before this, even if it was for his sister’s sake, he was a good person before the Kekking frog (seriously, his name is Kekera and he's looking for laughs) orchestrated his fall, turning Keiwa someone do anything for the power of the Goddess in order to create his “ideal” world.

Edelgard, on the other hand, was at this point from the beginning, and the only time we see who she used to be was in Dimitri’s flashback where she was already bossy. The writing would have worked better if it had her journey to villain, rather than expecting the audience to feel bad for someone who was already a villain. Hell, that's what they did for the recruitable Eagles and they're my favorite class.

[tyrannuspitch]

What are your top 3 TV shows?

Ooh okay. Let's see.

These are not my top three in terms of *quality* - in fact, I have some serious grumbling to do about all of them! - but they are my top three in terms of how successfully they turned my brain inside out.

Prodigal Son.

This is a drama/procedural about the son of a notorious serial killer working as a forensic psychologist. Mandatory disclaimer before we proceed - because it's a cop show and a psychology show, there's a lot in it that's um. Bad. Misinforming and/or (mostly and) actually morally objectionable.

HOWEVER. The family drama absolutely delights me. It is NOT subtle. But it compels me. Malcolm (the serial killer's son) is an incredibly charismatic lead, and everyone member of the family is so interesting. I love manipulation, I love love/hate relationships, I love sibling rivalries, I love when families kill other people together and then try to kill each other, I love terrible secrets which everyone already knows, and I love Becoming Your Father.

2. BBC Merlin

Fantasy series about a young King Arthur, intense gay subtext, blah blah blah, yeah BBC Merlin we've all seen it.

However, the dark side of this show is, IMO, severely undersold. It's literally a dystopian tragedy! And it features intense manipulation, secrecy, love/hate relationships, and Fucked-Up Fate. Perfect recipe for me. Now if only it would comply with my tonal tastes 30% more often and also bother to pay attention to its female characters,

3. Alex Rider

Young adult spy show. Young adult child soldier show. Adaptation of a book series I read as a kid which is potentially up to 50% of why I'm like this (the other half, of course, being Warrior Cats.)

There was, at one point, a very silly movie adapted from the books, but the show goes in completely the other direction. The books have never been shy about the fact that the "teenage spy" premise necessitates a government willing to exploit and endanger teenagers, but the show REALLY leans into it and I'm so here for it. They torture that child! They torture him JUST to manipulate him and he KNOWS but it still works! It's so fucked up in here. (*Translation from Lucian-speak: it's edgy in a cheesy way but I'm choosing to take it so so seriously because I am blessed with an earnest and whimsical soul.)

The first season is my preferred one by far, because the supervillainous plot the teenage spy is being forced to foil takes place in a *military academy* and we get to go Oh my god... School... is like prison... is like child soldierism. We live in a society. And then there are evil clones. And the evil clones are just kids too!!! Perfect television, no notes. (I jest, but genuinely, if you have [one has] room in your heart for sillyserious YA melodrama, it's great fun and kind of a hidden gem.)

[tangledbea]

Could I ask you something about the book The Rise Of Flynn Rider?

Who is Vedis?

How does he look, what does he do, what's his personality like, what did he do in the Brotherhood?

Okay, I've only ready the book once, so I had to scan through it to find the bit with Vedis and brush up on who he was, as a character.

He keeps his tent on the far side of the grounds, away from everyone else, near the animals, who he cares for. (As in, it's his job to take care of the animals, and he takes his job seriously.) Did I mention they're in a circus? Did you know they were in a circus? The Baron's circus? Anyway.

He had a deep yet soft voice and was wearing a sleeveless leather vest that showed off the [Brotherhood] mark on his arm perfectly.

He's quiet, in general. Stoic. Taciturn. Doesn't say much. He was very guarded when Eugene brought up the Brotherhood mark to him and said he was looking for his family.

Vedis put down the rake and looked at Flynn, his blue eyes somber. "You don't want to know what this mark means. Trust me. No good can come of it."

He refuses to tell Eugene what the mark is about.

Vedis's eyes scanned the letter quickly, and Flynn noticed Vedis flinch. "Forget it, kid. That mark is a symbol for something that no longer exists."

[...]

Vedis pointed to the mark. "If your parents have anything to do with this mark, they're..." His lip trembled. "Gone. I'm sorry."

[...]

He grabbed Flynn's letter and pointed to the mark. "This right here is the mark of the Dark Kingdom, and that kingdom is no more." He pushed the letter back at Flynn's chest.

[...]

Vedis sat down on a wood log as if his legs were giving out. "The kingdom I came from was destroyed. Most people barely escaped the destruction caused by the Moonstone."

[...]

Vedis looked solemnly at Flynn. "Those who survived scattered. I don't think anyone stayed behind."

[...]

"Life can't be sustained there." Vedis shook his head. "All that is left is the Brotherhood." He pointed to the mark on his arm, "And I no longer belong to that either."

[...]

"Look, the stone destroyed everything our kingdom had -- our homes, our royalty, and it cost us our future. I'm sorry." Vedis stood up. "If you're looking for someone from the Dark Kingdom, you're not going to find them."

[...]

Vedis looked at him sadly. "I'm sorry, kid. The Dark Kingdom can't be found."

And that's it. He's only in one chapter. Incidentally, his presence, Eugene's obsession with the mark of the Brotherhood, and everything Vedis tells Eugene about the Dark Kingdom and the Moonstone are reason #1 why this book isn't canon to the series. Merely an entertaining fanfic.

But anyway, "blue eyes" and that leather vest and Brotherhood mark are the only physical description we get. He's clearly torn up about the Dark Kingdom being destroyed by the Moonstone, and gets emotional every time he thinks and talks about it. He tells Eugene he mentioned the Moonstone to The Baron, who then decided to name a (snakeoil) elixir after it because it sounded all mystical.

[ddoubleblindd]

Everyone's a Catgirl! The Claw

Day 0

There was nowhere to hide from the sun.

Sweat poured down John’s face and neck as he clamored through the sand dunes of…

Where the hell am I?

He lived in Vermont. There wasn’t any sand in Vermont.

The last thing he remembered was the long drive home from the office. It’d been another late night with his boss out of town. There were only two days left to meet their project deadline, and Mark had decided it was the best time to take a trip to Cancun with the wife. Typical.

John ran a hand over his face, then brushed the sweat off on his thigh. He was still in his button-up shirt and tie. His loafers weren’t fit for trekking through sand, and the grains trickled between the gaps of leather and his socks. Heat beat against his back and soaked through his dark hair.

Am I dreaming?

He had to be. He had to have stumbled from his car to his bed and just didn’t remember. Stress from work was obviously getting to him.

An engine revved in the distance. John turned to see a cloud of dust swell in the air around the silhouette of four dark figures on what appeared to be motorcycles. Dirt bikes? It was impossible to tell.

But without water or shelter, he would die in the heat. Even if it was a dream, that sounded like an awful way to go.

“Hey!” John raised his arms over his head and waved a panicked signal. “Over here!”

The bikes turned toward him, the cloud of dust masking their riders’ appearances. John covered his mouth with one arm and closed his eyes, feeling the torrent of sand-soaked wind slam into him as the engines roared their approach.

When the sound died and the dust settled, John rubbed his face and opened his eyes. He blinked and opened his mouth. Then blinked again.

“They always this quiet?” A woman with fiery red hair that seemed to defy gravity popped the stand on her bike with one leather boot and dismounted. Feline ears protruded near her forehead, and a thin tail swayed behind her.

“Hell if I know. This is my first time finding one.” The second rider with similarly teased blonde hair stayed on her bike. She straightened her spiked gauntlets and adjusted the bandoleer over her enormous chest. Her cat ears flicked forward, then rotated to the sides. They looked…real.

“W-who… W-what—?” John stammered. Where did he even begin? “Is this supposed to be Burning Man or something?”

A tan, dark-eyed woman at the opposite end of the red-head smiled, her teeth sharp. “Why would we burn you? You’re too important for that.”

The last woman, a dark-skinned beauty with a shock of white hair and yellow eyes smeared with black, snarled and clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. “Get on the damn bike, new guy. Before the others find us.”

“The others?” John managed. He shook his head. Pinched his arm. What the hell was going on? “Alright. Seriously. Who are you?”

“We’ll explain at the base. The rest of the Vixens’ll want to see you,” the redhead said.

John gaped. “Wait, Vixen? Like the band?”

“Look. You can either get on the damn bike, or I can tie you to it,” the blonde snapped.

“Er, right.” John padded through the sand toward the white-haired woman and slid onto the seat behind her.

“Hey! Watch the tail!”

John froze, then carefully maneuvered so that he didn’t touch the fluffy white tail poking above her black leather g-string.

Their engines revved, and John wrapped his arms around the woman’s waist.

A sinking feeling in his stomach warned that he wasn’t in Vermont anymore.

Day 3

It wasn’t a dream. This was all very, very real. It had taken John a full day to absorb the shock of his death and apparent rebirth. A second day to restore his fluids and this new [Energy] thing. Today, two of the four riders that had found him were showing him around the Vixens’ base.

It was partially built into a cliff side; a land feature John was positive didn’t exist until the mountain was almost on top of them. There was a small, natural spring that ran through the cliff, offering the clan of thirty or so catgirls—their term for themselves—enough clean water to live.

“There are six other clans like ours. Some bigger, some smaller,” Jewel, the blonde, explained as they walked. She raised one hand and ticked the names off on her fingers. “Twisted Sisters, Queens, Gypsies, Poison, Scorpions, and Rush.”

John laughed.

“Oh? Is something funny, Johnny?” Stevie, the sharp-tongued white-haired woman, poked a long finger into his chest. John hadn’t told her to call him that, but it’d stuck from day one.

“No. I’m sorry. It’s nothing.” They were armed to the teeth. John did his best to control his reactions—offending them could mean dying. Again. “And you said that this was an island?”

“That’s right. The Claw,” Jewel continued. “Branches just off of Ichi. But no one comes here, and no one leaves.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because we have our own ways here, and the rest of Nyarlea can eat shit.” Stevie narrowed her coal-drenched eyes. Black streaks decorated her cheeks and throat, curving down to her chest and across her bared abdomen. From what John had gathered, Stevie was the leader of these Vixens. “They come on our turf, and we shoot them dead. They don’t fuck with us.”

Nyarlea. The Claw. Ichi. Clans. There was so much information to remember.

But that wasn’t the most pressing thing on his mind. “Your friend said I was important here. Why?”

Stevie grinned. “So you can give us kittens, Johnny.” She dragged her sharpened nails down John’s back, and a tiny moan escaped her lips.

John flushed and shivered. He was an unmarried man, sure, but this still felt…sudden. Courting a woman was supposed to take time and respect. These women all stared at him like he was a piece of meat.

“Only the strongest clans get to breed,” Jewel added, her tone cautious. “We’re not allowed to touch him yet, Stevie.”

“Take all of the fun out of it, why don’t you?” Stevie spat and dropped her arm. “I already sent a rider to the Summit. We’ll see in a few days.”

“We’ll see what?” John asked, looking between them.

Day 7

Oh.

All six clans had gathered at the Summit. Hundreds of catgirls surrounded an enormous metal cage that reminded John a lot of the Thunderdome. John stood beside Stevie and six other women who served as the respective leaders of each clan at the center of the cage. 

The only man.  

A dozen women swung from the bars in various states of undress. More raised their guns in the air and beat them against the metal. Some carried torches, some made provocative hand gestures and licked their lips. The whoops, hollers, screams, and engines revving deafened him.

This makes Altamont look like a picnic.

A single bullet fired behind him, and John nearly jumped out of his skin. The crowd immediately fell silent.

“Our new man has arrived, delivered to The Claw in the hands of Clan Vixen!” Stevie cried. “It is time to determine who has earned the right to breed!”

A wild cheer erupted as the girls slammed their weapons against the bars.

Stevie raised her arms, and the cheers died down. “As Clan Vixen found him, we will battle first in this contest! Who will challenge Roxy?”

The redhead he’d met on the first day swung down from high on the dome, landing deftly on her feet and slowly straightening her back. The thick leather armor that wrapped around her chest, arms, and waist was marred with deep scratches and marks that suggested the woman had been in a lot of fights. But she kept her legs bare, save for the calf-high boots. She held a long blade in each hand and clanged them together over her head, her expression starved.

They’re seriously fighting over me? It should have been any man’s wet dream. But the knots in his throat and stomach weighed him down. 

“Clan Scorpion calls for Lenita!” a woman in blue leathers near Stevie called. “Come forward!”

Lenita slithered through the bars. Her purple and black-streaked mullet was tied back with an animal-print headband. The armor fitted to her chest looked more like the carapace of an insect than the tightly sewn leathers of the other girls. She carried a sickle-shaped sword and a menacing smile.

“To safety!” someone called.

Stevie grabbed John’s arm and dragged him away from the center of the arena to a space that was sectioned off from the jeering crowd. She put a hand on his shoulder and pushed him down into a chair shaped like a large throne.

“Enjoy the show,” Stevie whispered into his ear.

“They’re not going to kill each other over this, are they?” John shouted over the crowd.

“Of course not.” Stevie looked surprised. “That’d be barbaric.”

“...I see.”

Another woman appeared at John’s side with a canteen of water and a plate of food. “Hey there, babe. Name’s Jackie. If you want anything else, you just let me know.”

John nervously accepted both with a nod. “Thank you, Jackie.”

Jackie giggled. “What a sweetie.” She took a seat on the arm of the throne. “I hope Clan Gypsy gets to take you home.”

What do I say to that? “I-I guess we’ll find out soon enough.”

“To first blood!” A woman acting as a referee raised a flag in the center of the dome. “Fight!”

Roxy and Lenita crashed together like lightning. They moved so quickly that John had a hard time telling them apart. Red blurred into purple. Blades glittered in the firelight from the surrounding torches. The atmosphere was electric with excitement.

A blinding light coated Roxy’s blades as she took another swing, breaking straight through Lenita’s weapon and slicing two bright red streaks into the Scorpion girl’s arms.

It was over almost as quickly as it had begun.

“One win to Roxy!”

Another purple-haired girl rushed from the edge of the dome to Lenita’s side. She laid her hands over the wounds and closed her eyes. John watched as a warm glow washed over the girl’s body and into Lenita’s arms. When she dropped her hands, Lenita’s wounds were healed without a trace of blood.

“Magic…?” John whispered in disbelief.

The fighting continued. One by one, Roxy felled her opponents with terrifying speed. Besides the short breaks she took for water, Roxy’s stamina—her [Energy], apparently—seemed endless. She didn’t look the least bit winded.

“We’ve been training her for years,” Stevie murmured in John’s ear as if reading his thoughts. “Clan Vixen will not fall this age.”

As Roxy defeated the last girl from Clan Rush, Stevie wrapped her fingers in John’s hair, scraping her nails along his scalp.

“It has been witnessed!” The referee raised Roxy’s arm with a brilliant smile. “The new man goes to Clan Vixen!”

The onlookers cheered and screamed. Carnal howls sounded from Vixen’s corner.

Stevie leaned forward and nibbled John’s ear. “You’re mine tonight, Johnny.”

Day 372

John stopped questioning most of the ways of life on The Claw. 

The clans made their own food and bullets. Their technology was a combination of magic and what they had available. They took care of him and each other. They’d armed and armored him, and he found that he enjoyed learning how to repair and maintain their weapons and motorcycles—he preferred it over the spreadsheets and work emails. 

In time, he discovered that it wasn’t the other clans or the catgirls he had to worry about. It was the Encroachers and the Defiled. Fearsome beasts the likes of which he’d only ever seen in horror movies.

John lay quietly beside Jackie, watching as she slept. Every three hundred days, they handed him to the clan that won the battle of the Summit. Gypsy had been the second clan to win the breeding privilege.

But Jackie felt like a friend. He found himself in her bed almost every night.

When he left Clan Vixen, Stevie’s parting words to him were a warning. Even after two months, they still rang loud in John’s ears.

No man has ever survived more than eight hundred days on The Claw.

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