#i genuinely think it’s the best option
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Actually I hope that they put Joe in a blonde wig and have him play both twins a la Lindsay Lohan in the Parent Trap
#i genuinely think it’s the best option#the whole reason they found out about being the reincarnations of wanda’s kids is because they had the same face#and they looked at each other and went ‘something must be off here’#and they were right#marvel cinematic universe#mcu#joe locke#billy kaplan#billy maximoff#tommy shepard#tommy maximoff#wandavision#agatha all along#young avengers
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following on from this. not to always bring marc into everything (sorry marc) but if assen 2015 had happened against jorge, valentino would have very likely pulled something similar again imo. rather than what he actually did, which is approach marc almost immediately for a nice normal friendly handshake and backing off during the podium celebrations. should be noted that during laguna seca '08, valentino was very much committed to yapping at casey on the podium with the world's biggest smuggest grin on his face
partly that disparity is because jorge not marc was the direct title rival, partly it's because valentino was treating marc with kid gloves right until the second that he wasn't, which marc was seemingly entirely oblivious to. if anyone other than marc had said what he said in that presser, had then continued on with similar rhetoric during sachsenring, valentino would quite likely have gone nuclear. he's done it over less than that. his fondness for marc made him continue to exhibit uncharacteristic restraint... except that fondness unfortunately is what left valentino feeling so very betrayed when (to his eyes) marc could not leave well enough alone
#it's so delightfully tragic isn't it. a lot of 2015 played out the way it did because valentino genuinely wasn't looking for beef#but then felt backed into a corner and decided he had no other option than to blow this shit up#if casey says 'what I think is that we won the race' valentino would've torn him a new one then and there like...#if sete had called assen his best race of the season valentino would've reached for the chalk and incense even sooner#though fwiw I do think the relationship was basically doomed from that point. something would have happened sooner or later#2015 is so funny conceptually because there was already something *off* about it most of the way through. you have the familiar beats#but they shouldn't be HAPPENING with marc. they should be happening with the actual title rival - who vale never properly fought all season#assen 2015 should've been laguna should've been catalunya hell it should've been assen 2004 but it couldn't be#valentino kept accidentally inflicting the psychological blows on the wrong guy because jorge just refused to end up in a straight fight#assen SHOULD have been a pivotal race. but of course it couldn't be because what psychological blow was jorge lorenzo being dealt?#btw the unwillingness to beef doesn't just extend to marc. valentino makes a concerted effort to be uncharacteristically friendly to jorge#still think he would've rubbed assen in his face but. overall! he was trying! which again. very ironic#funhouse mirror ass season i love it dearly#//#brr brr#slowly dipping my toes into dropping 2015 hot takes on tumblr dot com... for so long these have been between me god and my google doc#i love jorge i think he's been involved in a lot of iconic battles i think it's funny not a single one of them happened in 2015#minus kinda phillip island but even there it did feel like the other three were Doing More than him#also just a different vibe to a proper one-on-one. a WEIRD title run where the third man that whole year walks away with the trophy#idol tag
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telling myself i can't start another tdwt rewrite but dear god do i want to write one focusing on alejandro and courtney in this weird situationship thats a lot more nuanced than just alejandro manipulating courtney and her falling for it. like theyre best friends they dont trust each other theyre the same person they dont know anything about the other one theres a mutual attraction theyre pining for other people theyre codependent they dont care about each other theyre platonic soulmates like i just want to do a deep dive into how messy that relationship couldve been building off of their friendship that exists in my head except the line between romantic and platonic is so fucking blurred they have no idea what they are to the other person
#they live rent free in my head as you can tell#ive been writing some intense moments for them in amicus curiae and im having a lot of Feelings about platonic alecourtney#tbh the whole concept of them replacing the best friends has been a great avenue for me to do a deep dive into their friendship#aughhhh i just. love them so much#and i do want to explore them in a situation where there is relationship potential even if that relationship never actually happens#because everything between them during tdwt could be so MESSY!!#like alejandro says he's just manipulating courtney but he's also doing it to make heather jealous but he's also genuinely worried about he#after the duncan thing but this is the only way he knows how to express that concern without making himself look weak#meanwhile courtney is falling for the act but she also knows its an act and is going with it for the emotional support it provides and shes#just doing it to make duncan/gwen jealous but she also is starting to see the real alejandro underneath it all because he does care even#though he doesn't want to and they do feel a strong connection that they dont know whether its platonic or romantic because romance is bein#shoved down their throats on this show and theyre both in complicated romantic dynamics with other people that theyre the easier option for#one another but they dont really want to be with one another like it just doesnt feel right#okay okay i legit have to stop and go to bed but just. them. im thinking so hard about them#platonic alecourtney
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Also I love love loooove that the very first scene of book one is relos var and khaemezra in a bidding war for kihrin while he rapidly alternates back and forth between which of them is going to be less terrible for his life if they win because man if that isn’t a fantastic summary of the series as a whole.
#a chorus of dragons#genuinely i think this was the best possible place to start the books because like. MAN.#it instantly puts you on edge because both of these people/groups are clearly incredibly powerful and have a disturbingly strong interest in#kihrin. and they’re BUYING him they’re not interested in him as a person they want what he can give them they want to own him#and obviously khaemezra gets him and he quickly realizes she’s the better option and doesn’t actually want him as a slave but like. if rv#had won? he would have told him all the same things about her and made her the villain#idk it’s just that in the end he was a tool to BOTH OF THEM!!#they were both wrong and he was soso right to be wary of both of them and going back to that scene after i’d finished the series#after reading book two where we see how good relos var is at being rational and how he truly believes he’s saving the world#and book three where we see exactly how much khaemezra was manipulating kihrin from the start too and how far she’s willing to go#to ‘save the world’ herself… it’s insane
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Do you think SQQ/Y is actually confident in the plans he makes or is he just YOLO
i think in terms of formulating plans sqq is light yagami with an anxiety disorder. he over-engineers plan a and then has plans b-through-k (k for kill himself) on standby just in case.
#svsss#ask danny#i think he genuinely thinks a majority of plans he makes are the best idea for the situation he's in#he just also knows that his options for the situation are shit#and the situation is unpredictable and can change at any moment by act of god.#and his plans have a history of blowing up in his face. so.#1000000 back up plans be upon you#you can see this in him making it a priority to keep lqg alive not just bc murder will tarnish his name#but also bc lqg is strong enough to be an asset in pursuit of not getting slowly tortured to death.#unfortunately he usually only has like 2-3 back up plans before self destruction comes up
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Ive seenyou mention wuxia a few times now and i wonder what that is. Would you mind explaining it to me?
not the most qualified person to explain this as i'm not, in fact, from china; but i've read a couple of wuxia so here goes:
wuxia is a genre of fiction from china specifically, about martial artists in ancient china. i don't think a specific time period is like required? obviously some dynasties are more popular but idk how it goes in that front. it just has to be Not Today and probably Too Long Ago. like pre industral revolution i think. again idk if that's a requirement, but most i've seen are from around the same relative murky pre-electricity era.
xianxia is a subgenre of wuxia that's specifically more fantasy-like, and it's not just martial arts, but also spiritual powers and cultivation (which i have no fucking clue how to explain without two hours and three tangents other than chinese magic system. if you've ever heard of chi/qi as an energy, it appears there). so like- genshin is by all accounts a xianxia, it just doesn't use the more common specific xianxia terms like cultivation. some of those are very weird to translate and probably not common for the average non-wuxia reader, so it makes sense why they're going for alternatives.
chongyun and xingqiu and xianyun are very much straight out of a xianxia. xianyun's entire story quest was the closest genshin has gotten to a straight xianxia plot so far. i highly reccomend ashikai's video on unnecessary visions if you want more info on why genshin is a xianxia hahah
cyanide narwhal has some talk of some stuff from xianxia, but that's mostly because well- fucking liyue, that's how it works there. the whole light energy striking down someone who's getting powerful and giving them godhood if they survive the strike is, while not exactly like that, something that happens in some xianxia as well. like the way adepti work in general is just very xianxia. ashikai does a much better job explaining it than i do tbh but yeah
TL;DR: wuxia is chinese martial arts fiction in ancient china, and xianxia is a wuxia subgenre with more magic elements. also genshin is a xianxia
#i was going to recomend some xianxia if you're curious but like#genuinely don't know which one is a good starting point#like i'm tempted to say just dive headfirst into mdzs like most of us did but like#is mdzs the best place to start if you know nothing? unsure#genuinely#given how it's made to feel more lighthearted and formatted more like it's a fucking videogame#svsss might be a good launching pad#but tbf it's been a while since i read it#also it has unskippable sex scenes (i think??) so like- if you don't want to read that you're kind of out of luck there#not that mdzs doesn't have that either but they're not literally Plot Relevant. like the plot does not hinge on their horizontal tango#there's probably a good wuxia to start out there but i can't really remember right now#like mdzs is the easiest to recomend bc it's trial by fire and you're going to come out of the other end knowing like 80% of it all#plus it's not nearly as traumatizing as some of the other options#and it's so easily accessible it's almost funny#like take your pick: novel. live action. animation. audio drama. comic#it's fucking everywhere and the fandom is fucking huge so that's a giant plus#but that doesn't change the fact that idk if you can watch a couple episodes to get a feel for the wuxia genre. like would that work??#so i guess i'll leave that to everyone else to comment with any recomendations if they have a good one#for like an introductory work#or just decide mdzs is just the easiest point of entry. that can always be it. i mean we all made it anyway
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thinking about the person i could have been if i tried a little harder to find my own way
#probably the thing i am resenting my parents for right now is how good they were at convincing me#not to pursue any career paths other than the ones they laid out#every time i was like hey this seems interesting should i check it out? they would be so quick with the#do you care enough about it to stake your livelihood on it? to do it for your whole working life?#and obviously 8 yo 12 yo 14 yo 17 yo 18 yo me would get terrified and go no sorry and just not look into anything further#supposedly this is the safe option but everything i do feels meaningless#all of the jobs in this field seem meaningless#the job market in this field right now is dog shit and I'm fighting like hell for positions that just make me sad to think about#but every time i think hey what if i tried another thing#now my brain shuts me down with the do you care enough about it to stake your livelihood on it#your whole life on it#and the answer is no and it's gonna be no for a long time i bet#don't know if I'll ever find my way out of it#told my roommate's boyfriend about my general dispassion for pretty much everything in life#he asked me if I'm even a person#which feels very true#i feel like this path I've followed if i keep following it#I'm not going to be a person i can be proud of#i know it's really early in my life to say but#idk if it's nature or nurture or my own damn fault but all the ambition has been weaned out of me and I've been getting just surviving#i just wish i got told more you can be whatever you want to be :)#instead of whatever you'll do you'll be good at so do what makes money and push your hobbies to the side you can do them after you retire#your mom likes this and you're good at it so you'll like it too it'll make you money this is the best thing#the other thing is harder and doesn't make as much money don't do that you won't like it that much i bet#when i was younger#maybe I'd be struggling more but I'd be really happy and fulfilled#or maybe this is genuinely the best timeline and eggs who tried to pursue art hates it now#maybe I'd be really stupid at all the other things i gave a passing glance at#eggsistential speaks#tag rant
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me:*goes to start a new cyberpunk 2077 playthrough*
me: *remembers that although Kerry is canonically bisexual he's hard gender locked to male V*
me: ...
me: *closes cyberpunk 2077*
#cyberpunk 2077#ive played male v a couple of times i think 3/5 of my playthroughs#i just#girl pcs in video games always have the best customisation#and i like looking at pretty girl when im playing#but i genuinely hate the romance options for female v#they both have so much baggage lol#cp2077#cp77#kerry eurodyne
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I honestly feel a lot better about having posted anything at AO3, even things I won't finish, and there's something that warms my heart about posting fic for The Borgias in 2024.
I was actually deciding between two different WIPs to represent that "phase" between my undergrad years and grad school. The other one was the prologue to a Legend of Korra/Star Wars fusion in which Noatak/Amon is Korra's father and this is revealed in S1 (I think it was going to be Tarrlok who figures it out first, lol) and it actually affects the plot and it isn't just the LOK canon plot with minor adjustments—the fusion with SW was meant to be more than vague I-am-your-father inspiration. In any case, I only ever wrote the prologue about the Noatak/Senna quasi-romance that led to Korra's existence and never even got to the sheer comedy of Korra as Tarrlok's niece :(
But the Juan and Lucrezia as dysfunctional twins one-shot is closer to being a whole fic (in a side-story way) and I did like being able to add one more to my Borgias oeuvre—and getting at least some part of that AU on AO3 after all the time I spent on it!
#anghraine babbles#fic talk#i don't think senna actually ends up with tonraq in the au so there's no easy I Have A Real Dad option#and korra grows up knowing that her parents spent a genuinely wonderful year together before a ship he was in tragically sank#(this is not actually noatak's fault - he'd actually disembarked and chosen to disappear before the shipwreck happened#and just appreciated the convenience of it effectively covering his tracks after he'd made the 'mistake' of getting attached to senna#who fully believes he was in the shipwreck and is very dead)#so korra's heard all these (true!) stories of how cool the 22-y-o charismatic super waterbender noatak seemed to senna#meanwhile tarrlok discovers just who her father was and is like 'ok she's DEFINITELY getting the satomobile. but for different reasons')#the publishing au is actually incredibly involved (it's the bay area borgias fic as well!) but just focusing on juan and lucrezia#made it more possible to compress into a reasonably sized one-shot#in reality i wrote about the kids in school and how rodrigo bulldozed into their lives when their much older brother luis tragically died#vanozza is the second of his various ex-wives. also i included an adriana del milà expy even though it's very much borgias fic bc i love he#and yes she /is/ still the mother-in-law of the giulia expy :D#lucrezia ended up getting moved ahead a year from juan and joins cesare in befriending The New Kid#miguel aka micheletto - who thus is a high school friend of theirs and has complicated feelings about everything#but never forgot that teenage cesare and lucrezia stood by him when he was involuntarily outed in their school c. 2002.#lucrezia is the most obvious nepo baby of the company but actually fantastic at marketing while cesare is the creative one#but rodrigo has convinced himself that juan is the creative genius bc he(r) likes him(j) best and obviously has infallible judgment#but yeah it dovetails into the bay area au in which the alfonso d'aragona expy is lucrezia's boyfriend al from pleasanton#he doesn't like her living in the house her family owns outright in oakland for reasons he never manages to explain!)#political shenanigans and codependent siblings#avatar: the legend of korra
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Hello! Did Javier or Frontera couple actually never find out that Original Lloyd and Kim Suho shared the same soul????
That's so sad :"(
they don't :( but to be fair neither does lloyd. as far as i know, this is an audience exclusive revelation and no one in-universe knows about it.
and tbh i'm kinda glad? i don't know, i much prefer that the affection and love that exists between the frontera family and suho come from their own experiences and the relationship they built by themselves rather than because it turned out suho was their own child all along. i think it would cheapen the found family aspect of it all.
as it is, i think it was... not a bad decision on bk moon's part to make the twist, but only because he waited to drop the bomb til the last chapter, once all the relationships had already been developed on their own. had it been on the middle of the novel, there would've always been the doubt of "oh is he doing all of this because they were his family in his previous life? does he actually care for them or does he just feel guilty? do they only love each other because they were biological family once?" and honestly it would've sucked, i hate just thinking about it lol
as it is, i think it's already a slippery slope, i've already seen a couple comments about how suho is the way he is because of og lloyd's feelings and guilt and like,,,, No ajsdhjka
for one thing suho has no recollection of his previous life, he's not at all affected by og lloyd's guilt or memories, everything he does, everything he feels is because of his own lived experiences and character. to attribute everything he accomplishes to the last split second resolution of a man who never cared enough to do something for himself or his family in his own life, would be a disservice to his character and honestly, kind of a let down if that's what bkm was going for.
and for another, i just think it's way more poignant to have lloyd find a family that loves and cares for him, not because of blood ties or same-soul shenanigans, but because of who he is and what he's done. it would be kind of disappointing for the story to say "they only care for each other because they were biological family before" because,,, then what was the point of the build up, of their relationship development, of the slowburn of lloyd coming to accept that not only does he sees arcos and marbella as parents but that he deserves their love too. it would negate how big of a choice it was for the fronteras themselves to decide that they loved lloyd, even knowing he wasn't their son, that they cared for him not as a replacement but as his own person, that they trusted him even after the deception, that they wanted him to come home and be part of their family.
all of that would be kind of cheapened if everyone knew that suho's previous life was og lloyd, because then what's the big problem, it's still the same soul, it's basically the same person, they were already family once, no big deal to be family again, everything is wrapped up in a neat little bow with no loose ends and they can carry on their merry lives without facing the big difficult emotions that come with all of the previously mentioned dilemmas.
ok maybe i'm exaggerating a little, i do think there would be very interesting feelings to explore if they did end up knowing about it, but let's be honest, they wouldn't have been explored in canon lol. this is not the kind of novel to explore the grand dilemmas that come with a reincarnated soul making amends for the faults it committed in its previous life and that's okay, not every novel can be.
but i don't know. perhaps i just like the found family trope more than the 'they were related all along' one even if it's just soul wise askjdlafkd
again this is just the way i see things, if you feel differently that's also perfectly okay and i would love to talk about it if you guys want! i'm just. being silly :3
#hey i got an ask#faceless-dude#tged#the greatest estate developer#lloyd frontera#og lloyd frontera#arcos frontera#marbella frontera#god i didn't even mention javier in this.#but honestly. i think it's for the best that javier never knew about it.#it was such a big character moment for him to decide to not turn lloyd in when he figures he's a fake#his loyalty divided between the oath he made in protecting the frontera family. his responsibility of keeping og lloyd safe.#and the loyalty he has towards lloyd. his genuine belief that the best option is for him to stay. the ruthless conviction that if he has to#choose what lloyd to keep then there's basically no contest as the fake one is the one that's keeping everything together#it's not a kind thought but it is a logical one and he knows og lloyd is useless if not outright harmful for the estate and so he chooses#what he thinks is best for the estate and the family even if he does feel guilty for not keeping his master's son safe#it is a big character motivation moment for him#and all of it would be kind of moot if he knew that the lloyd he chose to keep and the one he let go were one and the same#so. i choose to believe he never knew and he has to live with the knowledge that when the chips were down he chose#lloyd over a member of the family he swore to protect <3#god dang it i did it again i promise i'm not trying to make the tags this long they just run away from me lol
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Slllliiiiiides over here. Hi hello. I don't think I'll do a bad karma run (IM SORRY. IM SORRY!!) cause a) I'm a wimp and b) I need to get off videogames as soon as I'm done cause I've spent too much time playing lately lmao BUT I will be watching playthrougs cause I gotta know how fucked up he gets.... I gotta know...
To clarify i have a pre existing oc from a story that could be very easily flung into a vat of "au juice" because she's already halfway there in her own cannon LMAO we shall see, for now I have a huge list of things I want to draw for this game so I gotta finish 2 before I explode then I can unleash myself on art again. Gotta feed the discord now. I'm cooking for a crowd.
hi i've been dead for 8 days and recuperating for two lol I understand life stuff (and saw some references to it on your timeline, like the warhammer stuff and the tarot card thing??? bro that shit looks so good!!) as someone that literally shared your stuff and then got ripped away for my own life happenings lmfao. But if you get the chance in the future? Seriously, try an evil karma inF2 run. There's something about how they balanced the story that puts its predecessor AND sequel to shame. They're the same story, but different tales. They have the same goal, but different goalposts. SPP gives you a well-thought-out storyline that both is cohesive, but feels like your choices actually matter. It has none of the "I can help this old lady...or kick her fucking dog lol" of inFAMOUS 1, or the "I will fight for the tribe but literally do everything wrong. everywhere. because I'm a Bad Boy™" of inFAMOUS: Second Son. The choices feel real. They feel sound. They feel like the choices a man wronged by the world would make, if he decided to turn to his harbored resentment instead of his morality. And let's be honest, Cole also feels more morally gray in inF2 than 1 anyways, so seeing the path he takes is great because it genuinely feels like he's done with the accumulation of every shitty situation that has happened to him. And I'm sure you know how the story ends now, so...don't you wanna see what happens if he chose the other option? (pls tell me you haven't watched the playthrough yet lmfao)
Anyways yeah no I totally get life shit, it loves to pull you away from stuff, and also as someone only just now trying to do the bad options in Detroit: Become Human despite getting the game at launch because I need 6 years of preparation to be the bad guy, I understand the wimp bit too. It's hard to be mean sometimes. But with Cole's inF2 story, it doesn't feel mean. It feels like a desperate man, trying to fight for a future he's not convinced cares about him.
And yes oh my god please keep creating lmfao we all love your art so goddamn much. Don't leave this fandom you're now a very important asset. And it's always a good thing, throwing old friends into new situations! I love an OC in a wardrobe change. That's usually the best translation. Think a bit harder about forcing that OC into a new role. Shove her ass onto the stage. We'd all love her.
#infamous#infamous 2#Cole MacGrath#bro i will scream about this fucking game from the rooftops nonstop it's the best one outta them all.#genuinely the only game i've ever played the bad guy in and went 'yeah okay i'd do that irl too'#versus vomitting when picking the asshole options in other games lmfao. i cannot be mean.#momma ain't raise no bitch but she DID raise an overthinking goody two shoes#seriously tho i love your art and pleASE keep at it. and good luck with the warhammer thing!! 32 minifigs is a LOT i do not envy you#will say you're the ONLY person I know who likes Kuo!! Which is so funny watching you integrate into the fandom talking so well about her#when I have like 3 friends I know that have made up instances in fics/hc just to kill her ass. everyone hates her lmfao#anyways you're aussie and i am an american about to sleep so. todaloo kangaroo.#also i do NOT have the inFAMOUS comics illegally on a google drive. How could you ask that? I know you wanted to read them but my god#I can't believe you'd think I have pirated material that I'd willingly distribute if you shot me a message (👀)
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screaming into the void <3
#my best friends boyfriend (who i’ve also been friends with for years) is just. not himself rn#we think it’s a manic episode but we don’t really know but it’s. terrifying lowkey#he thinks he’s genuinely jesus and that he’s conquered time and that he and my bsf are adam and eve#he’s been sending my bsf liek hundreds of texts per day since tuesday but it got really really bad and incoherent yesterday#and i woke up this morning to see multiple texts from gcs he created w me in them#and he keeps being like ‘because it’s 6:20 this is true’ and like ‘i know that at 9 pm everyone is gonna understand’#and he’ll text like 5 times then send a sc of what he just texted like that proves something but it’s all nonsense#i’m just really really concerned cause he really needs help but i don’t know how to ensure that happens cause he’s 19. not a minor#he’s just. not him rn. he’s called my bsf multiple times yesterday when he HATES calling normally#he had his band and his mom over in his apartment yesterday cause my bsf called his mom and h went to his bands show but was visibly not ok#and he saw nothing weird about it even tho he hates having ppl over normally and never without warning#and you can’t get him to see logic because everything you say he just twists around to work for him#to be clear it was not this bad when it started. when it started it seemed like normally maybe slightly out there conclusions he was drawing#but it just got worse and worse like exponential decay and really bad yesterday#he also didn’t sleep at all yesterday night and idk if he slept tonight#i know his mom took his phone at one point but he texted me and gcs w me in it starting at like 6:20 this morning#and my bsf and i and friends are on a trip out of state rn but we’re leaving today and i don’t wanna wake her up until i have to because#this is literally hell for her. but it’s just. scary. i don’t know what to do. i don’t think there’s any good options really for me rn#i want to warn ppl and try to explain he’s Not Him rn so they don’t get concerned but who knows if they’ll understand what i’m trying to say#i know it’s not the end of the world but it really feels like the end of my world as i know it if that makes sense#and my bsf lives with him in an apartment near their college and they just signed the lease for the next year#but she can’t stay there with him alone. not until he gets help. we’re all too scared it’s going in the directon where he thinks it’s better#for ppl to go to the afterlife. which like he never would normally. but he’s Not Him and so like. who knows#he keeps talking about all these different dimensions and how you need to travel to the 7th dimension to understand#my bsf was crying yesterday and she called her mom to explain and she keeps saying that she just wants her jake back it’s really scary#cause he will probably never be the same again. he’ll be similar but different but she wants his comfort but he’s Not Him. and can’t give it#i just. really want this to get better but it’s so hard to see that happening rn
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my mental state or whatever is so bad these days i genuinely started thinking that my purpose in life is literally just to kill myself lmfaoo 😭
#like what kind of a 'purpose' is that bro 😭 thats not a purpose. thats not the point of a life lmaooo#but like genuinely the only thing i think abt nowadays is when i should kms. im like wondering which day would be the best and most#convenient for everyone skjfgsjkf like. thats not normal#and see my thing is (i am ranting now teehee) so my thing is. i dont understand why i cant just talk abt this to my family or anyone#like i DONT want to talk about it i would chew my arm off first rather than talk about it. but. like i should lmfao.#like if i told them hey yall i dont want to live and i dont really want to die either but i feel like thats my only option etc they would#want to help me. if i told them hey can yall just sit down with me and help me figure this out they would!!!#but the thing is i dont want to lol. i dont want to. and i dont know why that is#dear diary ass post. okay thats all <3 just thinking out loud and everything <3#zsófi rambles
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vent incoming:
got my grades back for my courses last semester and most of it was to be expected, mostly A's, maybe an A-, etc. but i honestly can't get over the fact that my independent study (the buddy cole documentary) was for some reason given a B. like sure getting a B isn't bad per se, I usually get at least one B every semester and i honestly don't really care about what my exact gpa is as long as i can graduate, but come on. this school put me through months of psychological torment over this project and didn't even have the nerve to give me a B+??? i'm still coping with the self-doubt they forced on me and this bullshit is not helping!!
#honestly it's kind of hilarious ngl. especially bc i also got my documentary work counted as an independent study the previous semester#and the previous semester even tho i barely worked on the doc itself#(mostly just planning and putting together the crowdfunding which was still a lot of work but like compare it to the past few months)#they were willing to give me an A (my school doesn't do A+ so this is the highest mark possible)#vs this semester. like i'll admit my final assignment was late and could have been more polished#but i was literally on tour in documentary-mode 24/7 for several weeks. i filmed an entire comedy special! i put together a live interview!#not to mention having to fucking negotiate with my own college censoring the footage they'd promised me of an event i put together#and play nice with a professor who literally outed me on twitter in an attempt to cancel one of my best friends#at this point the ''B'' feels more like a petty grudge than anything else#like ok we can't get away with *actually* fucking over jessamine's grades bc clearly ze did do the work. but let's just give zir a B#like i will admit the audio quality in my final isn't great. and i could have used more polished footage in some sections#but counterpoint: 100+ students were arrested at a protest while i was editing and i was having a mental breakdown#the fact that i finished *anything* is goddamn impressive especially after they essentially conditioned me to hate myself any time i was#working on a project i loved!!!#due to the aforementioned student arrests my college did put out an option where we could change any letter grade this semester to pass/fai#so anything passing wouldn't impact our gpa if we didn't want it to. so i could just change the B to a ''pass''#but really what's the point. ''B'' is still a good grade and my GPA is fine (3.65 on a 4.0 grading scale. 2.0 is required to graduate)#it just sucks that after what i went through last semester i feel like nobody takes it seriously#i was reminiscing earlier about how it's honestly kind of funny how after that professor outed me on twitter#i was at the hotel with scott like an hour later sobbing and having an existential crisis about my relationship to gender#and scott was so supportive but also awkwardly being like#''i know i should offer the crying child a tissue but where the fuck are the tissues in this room what do i do''#and he just handed me a full-on towel instead like oh my god he was trying his best but also so clearly out of his depth#but of course i then had to remember how when i told that story to a different professor to be like ''this is how much scott cares about me#this guy called me fucking UNPROFESSIONAL for crying in front of the subject of my documentary?????????#like yeah maybe so but how DARE you call me unprofessional when a different professor tweeted my full name and gender without my consent#in an attempt to fucking cancel one of my friends for ''misgendering'' me for using pronouns i'm fine with him using!!!#i don't think i'm ever going to be able to forgive my college and i don't know how i'll be able to get through one more semester#that experience genuinely changed things about my psychology that i'm not proud of and i need to work through#so if i have to miss a goddamn kids in the hall event because i have class this november i am going to set something on fire
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TBH the best case scenarios in my mind for Fit's lore ending on Thursday are either:
Madagio has mercy. They know what it's like to lose everyone they love, and seeing what's happening on Quesadilla Island is just a reminder of everything they loved and lost. Madagio releases Fit, and he reunites with Pac e Mike and Richarlyson, and they're all able to leave Quesadilla Island.
Or:
Madagio and Fit destroy the Federation together. Fit goes full 2B2T mode and there's nothing left of the Federation once they're finished. Madagio and Fit finally have their revenge. (And then maybe Fit can reunite with Pac + all his loved ones and they escape the Island, or reclaim the island for their own since the Federation no longer has any power over them).
Bonus: A very unlikely but "Wouldn't it be fun?" scenario would be Pac and Mike flying down on a fully-grown dragon Richas and rescuing Fit from Vacuus Island and they fly away and live happily ever after.
#i talk#qsmp talk#Genuinely need a vacation after the past two weeks (or however long it's been)#I keep seeing people say ''the best case scenario is Fit dying lol'' and I clearly care WAY too much because seeing that made me legit mad#Did my whole ''lmao ok let's calm down and take a walk'' and went out for a few hours only to come back and be like#''no actually I'm still mad. This entire situation sucks.''#I think this will probably be the last mcyt type series I let myself get invested in. I'm so exhausted of being disappointed#and the constant angst the fandom churns out#I wanna be able to love things without getting burned#I've got enough things to be sad over irl I don't want my escapism series making me sad too#Worst case scenario for me is Fit dying or him getting trapped in 2b2t again#and/or him saying q!Pac is dead#I'll be honest: CCs killing off their character feels like a betrayal to the people who have spent so much time loving them#and like yeah there probably ARE ways to do it well#but it's like. why would you choose that option there are so many better options#negative#idk man I'm just frustrated by this whole thing#all the untagged suicide jokes are making me frustrated too
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seeing some people's reaction to weird gamer men oversexualizing kiriko is "mauga is right there, half naked, with serveral pin-up sprays" and while i do agree to an extent, i do feel like alot of people are kind of ignoring like. the racial element of mauga's sexualization, like i like mauga, he's hot, but the second i saw him in the short story, i wasn't a big fan of the whole "big savage brown indigenious guy" and it feels like very few people are pointing that out.
RIGHT LIKE. we cannot fix "gamer men fixate on fictional asian girls to a violent degree, usually in a racist way or enabling racist tropes already present in the character" with "gamer girls fixate on fictional brown men to a violent degree in a racist way or enabling racist tropes present in the character" like you guys are part of the same problemmmmmmm youre doing the same thinggg its not better because youre doing it to men like.
i think some people only want to see the kiriko problem as misogyny and while im not going to even pretend that ISNT a massive part of it, theres still like. a reason kiriko and d.va and mei are fascinations for these dudes. there is a pointed difference between the way these three get spoken about compared to their white counterparts (and their dark-skinned counterparts too - look at the responses to illari for a really easy comparison to how kiriko is treated). their ~exoticism~ as asian women is part of the appeal. even if you dont just wanna take the way dudes online treat them (like making a joke that shes "obvious pornbait" for speaking japanese and using JSL) as evidence of that, look at their marketing. kirikos whole thing is atheleisure traditional, shes got her Mystical Japanese Spiritualism Ninja Powers and her magic doggy and they constantly put her in japanese and korean fashion, and dva has been constantly crossing over with korean merch companies. i cant help but notice theres no brazilian IP crossovers or merch launches for lucio, or any attempt to Sell Peru To Gamers for illari. they couldnt even pick a town in Samoa to name maugas map after. these people wouldn't buy that stuff because it's not fetishized in the same way asia is.
but like. a lot of the people trying to Gotcha these racist dudes with an asian fetish just whip out their favourite racist tropes instead and its a really bad look. like you guys dont wanna examine how your examples of The Characters Its Okay To Hypersexualize are all brown? even the people who wanna fuck cassidy dont talk about him like this. or like. fuck if you want a good comparison for mauga lets look at roadhog. big half-naked tank who theyve been playing up a sexual energy/comic relief duology on since day one with racially insensitive cosmetic options. nobody treats it like its completely normal to talk about him that way. the dev team isnt pushing pinups of him out. he isnt flexing his boobs in trailers. hes a white dude*, so he gets the bare minimum dignity of being treated normally. incidentially hot, maybe, but for the most part his character is sold on being cool , funny and scary. mauga is being sold 50% on being a Sexy Rogue Love Interest and 50% on. releasing late. they put in so little effort for him to be anything else despite hyping him up as suuuper significant to the lore and a major gamechanger its almost embarrassing to watch. (this is why that short annoyed me so much for anyone keeping track).
#*im awareeeee theyre doing bait with him and i refuse to acknowledge it until they put it in the fucking game#im not settling for those scraps especially as the game triples down on its anti-indigenous aesthetics and lore and everything#if you genuinely want to argue with me that roadhog counts as maori representation youre gonna have to take me to court over it idgaf#anyways. we jest here about my sexy wife but i think its worth pointing out now that mauga is here#and how mauga has been treated by devs and fans. that there is a tangible difference between the two#roadhog is niche hot and they barely if ever play into it its just kind of a side effect of the kind of character he is#if anything they try to make him grosser and less appealing most of the time#meanwhile mauga has pinups in game and in press material and is being sold as Sexy#in conjunction with a lot of unfortunate fucking circumstances that combine to feel extremely anti-indigenous#also illari as a comparison to kiriko bcz theyre a similar age bracket w similar builds and have a superficially similar gimmick#but kiriko is 9000 gamer boys favourite sex object while illari gets boredom at best or rage at worst#like. neither option is GOOD but its definetly DIFFERENT how theyre treated
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