#i genuinely dont know what im going to do
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future self here: read the article it's pretty good. anyway down heres my take before i finished the article
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ok imma make the post while reading the article
this reads more like something thats meant to make you outraged than something that makes a genuine attempt to analyze the lightning thief. ragemongering if you will.
Now why the hell would the Greek gods ever live in America? Great question. Here’s where it starts to get real ugly real quick.
is it though? is it really? cuz im pretty sure the real world reason is to have an excuse to make the series happen in America (the home of the target audience) as opposed to greece (not the home of the target audience). and the in-story reason is just whatever lets you justify this in-universe.
Chiron who had been previously disguised as a Latin teacher in a wheelchair—presumably to better hide his… horse parts? I’m not sure
yes? it has admittedly been a while since i read those books but im pretty sure that is the cannon in universe reason why he uses a wheelchair. did you read the book?
ok reading further they start bringing up actually relevant points that do support their claim. im not gonna copy all of that but i will respond with: it is still a book about the greek gods and is based on greek legends. idk if you forgot but greeks are white europeans. legends about demigods tend to have exceptionalism as part of their main themes. often explicitly. yea unless you're writing some really sanitized story, basing it on greek legends will probably make it at least a little problematic.
i didnt know that bit about western civilization being a new concept. that is a good point:
This emphasis on the power of western civilization — a concept that didn’t emerge until the 19th century and was bound up in “imperialism and colonialism, white supremacism, classism and exceptionalism” — absolutely pervades The Lightning Thief,
lets keep reading -
It is perhaps tempting to write this off as a common — albeit indelicate — narrative technique. Riordan is writing for Americans, so he crafted a narrative focused on Americans.
oh i was anticipated.
the promotion of a (falsely) white ancient Greece and Rome is not limited to The Lightning Thief. White people love narratives wherein Greeks, Romans, and their gods are white
ok yea ancient greece wasnt just white people. still they were definitely europeans. actually let me just google this real quick -
What races lived in ancient Greece?
Hellenes
Central and Eastern Greek tribes (Aeolians, Achaeans and Ionians) ...
Western Greek tribes (Dorians and Macedonians) ...
Macedonians-Magnetes.
https://en.wikipedia.org
List of ancient Greek tribes - Wikipedia
that doesnt help much. a bunch of ancient greek tribes i don't recognize. hmmm maybe if i go into the article and nope nope just more words and graphs i dont understand. ok since im a little stupid lets go with this. ancient greece definitely had non-white people in it too, but i dont think its that controversial to say it was mainly white europeans. if not, then you have to explain how the current inhabitants are mostly white europeans. which...idk you can probably explain it pretty easily but i am not smart and the simplest explanation is just that the ethnicities of the current inhabitants roughly matches that of the ancient inhabitants.
i still dont think its so unreasonable to assume that rick decided to move the gods to america as a way to appeal to his audience, rather than as some kind of white supremacist move. though tbf it could be both. he doesn't even have to be aware hes doing it for it to be the case. but just because it could be the case doesnt mean it is.
the way he phrases it in-story does kinda seem supremacist now that i think about it but again, this is a story about demigods and is based on ancient myths and literal legends. giving these things some epic framing with exceptionalism is hardly surprising.
and...thats about all the notes i have about the article. it goes on to make a lot of good points and best of all, it doesn't actually pile up on rick and his stories that much. just brings attention to the fact that there is some genuine white supremacy stuff in there and that you should be aware of that. it doesn't even tell you not to read them and it makes note of the fact rick has gotten much better at not doing white supremacy.
in a way i was right about this article being rage mongering. just that it only rage mongers at the beginning as a way to draw you in to read it. call that a hook call it clickbait but the article is genuinely good and insightful and i recommend reading it.
you thought you can just read my addition instead of the article didnt you? think again buster you are merely a fool.
so like. everyone in the pjo fandom has read this article right? ok cool
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── ୨୧ ! M.S V DAY HARD LAUNCH | INSTAGRAM
singer!reader x matt
IN WHICH ; y/n and matt have been in a private relationship for the past few months, deciding to announce it to the public on valentines day <3
WARNINGS ; matt making a freaky comment, but besides that, none:))
A/N ; this is my first time making smt like this so sorry if its not the best lmfao. im also severely dyslexic so apologies if there are any gramatical / spelling errors !
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matthew.sturniolo my valentine💗
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sturn.obsessed y/n dont steal my man 😞
sturnz.yn06 IDK IF I WANNA BE MATT OR Y/N
y/n.y/l/n idk what i would do without you❤️😭u mean the WORLD to me u dont understand
matthew.sturniolo I LOVE YOU MORE. y/n.y/l/n NUH UH
nicolassturniolo the pink heart was a bit of a gay move
matthew.sturniolo stfu
y/n.y/l/n I TOLD YOU TO DELETE THAT SECOND PHOTO YOU BITCH >:((
christophersturniolo i love how y/n's shoes are drastically cleaner than urs LMFOAO
sturniol04 'drastically' thats a big word for u christopher
y/nfan4 I'M GOING INSANE
nicolassturniolo ugh i love you guys
madisonbeer my babies🤍🥹
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y/n.y/l/n i don’t know what on earth i did to deserve the most handsome, sweet, funny and perfect valentine❤️i genuinely don’t know where i would be in life if your brother never introduced us—you are such a light in my life. happy valentine’s day to my perfect boyfriend UGHHH you’re so cute i wanna throw a rock at you🤧❤️
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oliviarodrigo SO HAPPY FOR YALLL
y/n.fan7 pls dont ever break up yall are the cutest🤧
matthew.sturniolo why do u wanna throw a rock at me :(
y/n.y/l/n its not my choice the cuteness aggression takes over
y/n.sturnzz this cannot be real holy shit
matthew.sturniolo for all those fuckers; just because i wrote less words than y/n doesn’t mean i love her any less than she loves me❤️
nicolassturniolo y/n can u come over soon i miss u 🤧 (don’t bring matt tho pls pls PLS)
matthew.sturniolo at least i dont have to ask her to cum nicolassturniolo MATTHEW WHAT matthew.sturniolo 🫢🫢🫢
ariana_greenblatt MOTHER AND FATHER
sturn.38 am i the only one who noticed matt drinking wine?? i thought he was sober
sturniolo.fan278 OMFGGGGGG LIFE IS SUDDENLY WORTH LIVING
A/N ; hope u guys enjoyed :ppp if u want to be added to my taglist, lmk in my inbox or reply to this post!! luv ya x
A/N #2 ; im re-reading this rn and am just now realising how often i use the 🤧 emoji lmfao
TAGLIST ; @trevorsgodmother @mxnsonn @pr3ttylittleslutt @v4lsturn @wildfluer @delilahsturns @lailasnight @courta13 @kisses4chris @chrispycremedonut @chrisspussygang @stvrloghost
divider creds - @bernardsbendystraws & @sisterlucifergraphics
#✮chrepsi speaks✮#✮chrepsi writes✮#sturniolo#sturniolos#sturniolo triplets fic#matt sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#matt sturniolo fic#matthew Sturniolo fic#sturniolo triplets fluff#matt sturniolo fluff#matt sturniolo hard launch#matt sturniolo insta post#matthew sturniolo fluff#matt x y/n#matt sturniolo x reader#matt x reader#matt sturniolo x y/n#sturniolo triplets
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horrible truth bomb dropped on my head 20 min ago
#I DIDNT KNOW I DIDNT KNOWWWWW#when i say damn thats crazy its bc i DO think its crazy i think a lot of things are crazy. like how birds have cloacas#or the way ppl draw a five pointed star in different ways and everyone assumes their way of doing it is how everyone does it#my brother is not letting me live this down btw he literally shouted at me like HOW DID YOU LIVE THIS LONG AND NOT PICK UP ON THAT#IDK!!! IDK I THOUGHT SOMETIMES IT COULD BE USED TO EXPRESS GENUINE SHOCK??????#he says its my delivery that makes it sound insincere bc i say it in a monotonous voice which when i think abt it YEAH....#THAT DOES MAKE IT LOOK KINDA BAD IN HINDSIGHT.....#and then i told him i keep a list of phrases that tickle my brain so i can remember to use them in conversation and apparently#most ppl dont do that bc he was like ???? stop doing that??? just let the conversation flow naturally it sounds fake>????#idk man i feel like if i did that and blurted out 'i forgot people find stuff like underwear arousing for some reason' instead of#smth like 'i wonder what kind of ppl find this kind of stuff the bees knees' like i normally do. it would. not go so well.#ALSO THE FLOW CHARTS ARENT NORMAL? i make flow charts before i call the bank or smth so i know what to say#its not just to blend in its also so i dont waste ppls time going uhhhhh as i think of how i put smth into words#its called stalling for time and i dont care if i have to say smth like thats just how the cookie crumbles if it gives me#5 more seconds to process whatever the fuck someone said without letting them think im not paying attention#doodles#diary#sona#puppysona#comics
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im still applying for jobs, ive applied for state assistance as well but theyre taking their time with approving it. i have bills coming up soon, at the very least i need enough to pay my electric bill bc theyre threatening to shut it off 😬 if anyone has anything they can spare itd be greatly appreciated. im transmasc and i have no family to rely on for this kind of thing. i also have commissions available, dm me for info
vnm: tobias_leviathan
pp: paypal.me/bewearr
thank you 🙏💕
#idk what the secret to applying to jobs is but something is fucked up lately and i cant even get a stupid fast food job#ive applied to so many and got rejected by all of them or just straight up ignored#and thats WITH calling every few days to check up on it#i get either ignored or sent to a bot that just tells me to apply online or the manager has no clue whats going on#ive applied to at least 50 jobs this month and last month not a SINGLE one has given me the time of day#ive been to 4 interviews and got a few callbacks but theyre all dead ends#i dont know what to do anymore. ive been focusing hardcore on art so thats something but ive been working on my backlog and not making money#im just so frustrated and hopeless idk what to even do anymore. ive signed up for temp agencies even and they never have any jobs#its stupid that i HAVE a job but they refuse to give me hours. this is genuinely worse than being unemployed
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NO MORE ASSOCIATING THINGS WITH FEMMES ONLY BECAUSE THEY ARE PINK!HYPERFEM FEMMES ARE GREAT AND I LOVE YOU CAMPY FEMMES WHO EMBODY PINK BUT ALSO JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU GUYS NOT GO MORE THAN ONE DAY W/O TRYING TO SHOEHORN FEMMES INTO BEING ONLY PINK UWU BABIES. I AM FEMME AS IN GRASS AS IN DIRT AS IN TREE BARK AS IN WEEDS SPROUTING THROUGH THE SIDEWALK CEMENT. FEMME AS IN GENDER NONCONFORMITY AS IN FUCK YOU MY FEMININITY IS WHAT *I* SAY IT IS. FEMME AS IN DEPTH AND DARKNESS AND WARMTH AND TERROR. FEMME AS IN CAVES. FEMME AS IN LIGHTNING. FEMME AS IN AN AMALGAMATION OF TRAITS THAT I HAVE DECIDED ARE FEMININE REGARDLESS OF WHAT SOCIETY SAYS. FUCK IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!???
#personal#i am emotional yes#over the years ive had this blog I've made a few posts abt being femme#nd whether they're serious or jokey..... inevitably someone in the tags goes “ohhh yeah bc pink”#or in the case of what inspired this post: someone going “what about the pink ones” on my praying mantis post#and im just.#sick of it. im sick of femme being equated to pink and frilly girlie behaviors.#im sick of femme being equated to skirts and heels. to makeup. to skincare. to pristine nails exactly almond shaped.#im sick of ppl acting like All femmes aspire to this shit. im sick of femms being reduced to this shit.#and i love pink! i love pink! my phone theme is quite literally just black and pink all over.#im just. so tired of any expression of Femme identity being shoehorned into being a Specific type of femininity#especially as someone who DOES get dysphoric wearing skirts. wearing dresses. embodying the femme aesthetic yall are so set on making#if u guys wanna rb this i truly dont care#i just needed to scream#and this is one small thing#but the 2nd largest category of anon hate i have gotten since making this blog is str8 up homophobia from other “queer” folks#saying i cant be femme bc of how i present. calling me slurs (and using them as such) bc they cant understand femme as anything but that#my wife and i have our users in our personal discord server set as 2 different things of anon hate ive gotten#i have had OTHER FEMMES tell me i am not femme. femmes who Know im femme who still call me butch. femmes who ive corrected and been blocked#-by bc of it. the number 1 largest demographic of queerfolk who have me blocked rn is TME femmes who embody pink also#and i dont think its a coincidence at all. (and i know this bc i go to try and follow these ppl bc they get rbed on my dash & i cant)#and ik their blogs arent deleted bc some of them don't block my wife (tall. white. butch) and it cant be politics cause her and i rb#a lot of the same political shit (fuck. i think she rbs More than i do even. this is genuinely mainly a nsft blog)#and usually i don't say anything but im having a bad day so i get to be angry about this and if anyone fucking tries me i will block u#idc if we've been mutuals 4ever. im judt so tired of feeling like i am not Enough as a femme bc i dont embody this shit#im sick of this lameass lip service to he/him gnc femmes etc when the thin white 50s housewife femme is still what is preferred and loved#im sick of this lamesss lip service when y'all feel entitled to theorizing on other femmes genders bc u cant conceptualize a femme who does#wanna be hypetfeminine. im sick of it. im sick of it. im sick of it.#celebrity bun
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Idk who needs to hear this but time and time again isn't over!!!
Webtoon removed the "time and time again will return!!!" Banner and I don't know why, but it's not over!!! There's still another 1/3 of the comic to go! There's a lot more stuff that I'm working on and it'll be coming back soon!
Please be patient with me, I know it's been a long time... But the stuff I'm making is really good and there's a lot of reasons it's taken this long. I promise I want it back more than anyone.
I'm trying to come back around the end of October. I'm doing my best to get everything ready in time, so no promises, but I'm on track to do so! I'm just one person writing and drawing everything, and my editor was fired so I'm not even getting any notes anymore. It's literally just me. I'm doing my best I promise!
#im so frustrated that banner has been gone#and people think the comic is over because of that#which is reasonable to think#but it... idk#its already an uphill battle to try snd retain audience after a hiatus this long#let alone when webtoon is actively building thr expectation that theres no need to come back...#im so frustrated#every day there is something new with them its so exhausting#this isnt even the thing I've been majorly stressed about this is a fresh new frustration#i feel like they're not just being unhelpful#at this point i feel like theyre actively sabotaging my career.#im not allowed to promote my books#i can't make my links too big so no one can find me#people dont even know i have a patreon#i can't make any announcements on the comic#and now people think th whole thing is over and it isnt!#im so ;_;#im so frustrated and demoralized#and people complete reasonably are losing patience and interest#and. ah... it's fine. like genuinely it is fine.#it will come back soon and i am doing a good job#and everyone who sees it's back will be happy with what ive done#cause it's good. its really good...#but. yeah. idk. webtoon has been actively keeping me down since the beginning and im so over them#I've been so mistreated aysudjejjdjdjdj#i just want to finish the series and go ;_;#taking all my power to not **** ******#just gotta power through and get the fuck out#text post#update
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If I think about the double standard and the disparity with which the media handled Daniel in comparison to everyone else I may lose my mind.
#i genuinely feel like im in bizarro world. karun chandok the fucking donkey being like:#“you have to feel for checo . he was doing so well in sq1 :( ”#in comparison to the way they viciously circled around daniel for medicore performances let alone bad ones#similar with Naomi just now. i cant believe im gonna defend Perez in the same breath but for her to say;#“Lawson has done everything to deserve checos seat. he has ticked all the boxes” ????? bitch what boxea are you talking about?#she literally said the only thing he needs to work on is his “temperament” would love to know what shes on lol#DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON LAZENBY HES SUCH A DUMB FUCKING RATTTTTTT#the way hes like “why is Lawson getting so much heat for complaining about sergio? Yuki has been doing it for years!”#well yuki has been in the 'Junior team' for 4 years now#what the everloving fuck is going on in the sport#obviously we all know how the media shapes the narrative but its genuinely still so jarring to see the standard they held daniel to#and the callousness with which they treated him
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still dont see how so many people say that dawntrail is poorly written in comparison to other expansions like. what, did you realize you had to learn about a new culture and immediately not care anymore lmao? you've done it before, was this one not white enough for you?
genuinely i think more people should do side quests during msq so idk you can form a heart about the characters you're interacting with if you struggle with that and understand the land better so when impactful shit happens your illiterate ass can actually read and have empathy. theres no excuse for this.
if you can't handle storybuilding and character introductions from the expansion that feels like stormblood and shadowbringers had passionate gay sex that got one of them pregnant and birthed a beautiful daughter they both love and care about then idk what to tell you, maybe youre just lame and can't read. best of luck with that.
#'they dont take as many risks as shadowbringers and endwalker!!' okay one WHAT risk did ENDWALKER take lmao#and two DID YOU PLAY PAST ZORMOR LMAO?????????? HELLO?????????? DID YOU LEAVE TULIYOLLAL??? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT#like i genuinely think you guys just complain about shit without actually playing the game#god forbid you have to learn about another world#some people heard this was stormblood 2 and immediately gave up caring#oh im sorry you were able to care about literal racist elves in cold france but a refugee? a non white civilization? oh i see#shadowbringers literally set up its societies too they were already in war dawntrail wasnt already#i think people should replay stormblood. it was never a bad expansion and i dont know what people are talking about???#half of the complaints i see for stormblood are racist and the other half werent reading any of the dialogue#'the horrors of war expansion has horrors of war in it i just wanna play on the playground with gay elves'#bitches will literally say they dont understand stormblood or dawntrail and then say yotsuyu was justified zenos is hot and wuk lamat is bad#why play a fantasy game if youre not interested in exploring new worlds#dawntrail takes so many more risks than shadowbringers and endwalker combined and sticks the landing with just about all of them#i think my only problem was how many times theg brought up they arent related by blood. no i can tell lol#some of yall are just haters that cant form their own opinion and are just mindlessly nodding along to somebody#you follow on twitter that was gonna hate DT regardless because zenos didnt come back to life this time#consume new media. go do side quests. touch grass. walk a trail at dawn and perhaps you have appreciation for story building#you guys are pathetic and i wish you the worst <3#dawntrail's twists are on par with shb and stb thats why i call it the love child of stormblood and shadowbringers#ffxiv
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it doesnt need to be said but its genuinely so funny how at-the-hip charles and erik are in krakoa like they really had the green light- the OBLIGATION- to be as obnoxiously close to each other as possible and abused that right to the fullest extent
#xmen#xmen comic#krakoa#cherik#snap chats#until the divorce of course but until then its actually so funny#how you really couldnt go a page or two without one or the other and the other one was close behind#ice climber ass duo over here. the delightful children from down the lane kind of proximity what the fuck was their PROBLEM#i feel like if one of them was teleported the other would just materialize right next to them thats how close they were#fuuuck what was the issue where sabretooth and co are in like. Brain Prison or something#and victor imagines charles but everyones like 'wait its weird if its just him where's magneto'#ITS SO FUCKING FUNNY and i NEED to know what issue that was .... to add it to my collection ....#also killed me how in immoral x-men issue 1 charles was yappin bout erik bein gone#and- God Bless Who i forget i think it was hope- was just 'can you please shut up about your dead boyfriend im begging you'#moira stronger than me if i had to deal with thing 1 and thing 2 on a daily basis i woulda snapped sooner frankly#ig when you live ten times through The Most Bullshit ever youre numb to most things but still. my god theyre so obnoxious#sorry im cackling at the bit in HoX where charles is about to announce krakoa to the world and erik's putting his hand on his shoulder#and you justs see moira in the back like dawgggg right in front of her .... can you two get a room#GENUINELY no im GENUINELY surprised they dont share a bedroom#im not even talking sharing a bed im taking my shipper goggles off im actually baffled they dont sleep in the same building#obvi id be lyin if i said i didnt love it tho To Be Real .. genuinely love seein them work together as a team .. until they werent </3#in every timeline they WILL divorce each other that's just the rule. actual canon event it cannot be changed or stopped its integral#ok ramble over. but not really not in spirit cause ill never be over this ill die before i am#im gonna go eat now i think i think thats something i As A Human has to do at least once a day
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Sorry I forgot Hanneman suggested Byleth undress after they show up with a different hair color. And I miss Hanneman. And also while swapping between Houses and Hopes and seeing Hanneman pop up to help in a Hopes paralogue is just devastating since he doesn't ever actually join you at all and I am denied my old man rights.
So I had to draw this. Thank you for understanding.
#fe three houses#byleth#hanneman von essar#i like that Byleth just kinda stares at him and he realizes WHAT HE SAID and the implications and is like#step back uh forget that I said that#like man so zoned in on research he blurts that out and has to backtrack mentally to AH socially bad to say that my bad#if i need to tag this as anything lemme know even though it is a conversation in game basically (minus the marriage)#also if you have never married hanneman i genuinely enjoyed his s support and was VERY surprised and hes just#honestly one of my favorites overall in 3h ?? and im still bummed i cant play as him in thropes like thats just mean#also i think if byleth was like oh well if its awkward to see someone undress randomly#then marriage would solve the awkwardness this is truly the best deduction#which is really funny that i can see it happening with both leths despite my hc of them#with fyleth as bi and myleth as ace i think both would just be like AH cool we can avoid awkwardness by marriage#and hanneman just wants to go lie down in a ditch because he said something like that#and and byleth doesnt even know about religion while working at church school they dont know about school regulations#that wasnt really on their mind to check ok just saying you could tell byleth no to something#and then they just go oh school policies i understand unfortunately#and the person is like no we just meant its frowned upon to do archery practice in the tea garden its not technically illegal just dont??
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thoughts on dave and aradia (<>)?
day 356
BIG fan tbh. in this house we love and respect timerails
truly yall read this log and tell me theyre not cute
#day 356#year 4#dave strider#aradia megido#aradave#homestuck#she really saw this kid and was like OH YOU HAVE ISSUES WITH YOUR MORTALITY?? :D#boy do i have some relevant life experience and wisdom to impart on THAT ISSUE SPECIFICALLY#and then she just. very gently and kindly makes the subject more approachable for ghostdave#the pesterlog i linked is literally my FAVORITE aradia moment. to me it is THE character defining moment for god tier aradia#yes she is being kind of ominous and trickstery at first#but it VERY quickly becomes clear shes got genuine concern for this kid she's had very little to do with up until this point#she really wants to connect with him over their shared time aspect stuff#and she really DOES care about how he feels about everything. she wants to help and she wants to put him at ease#because she KNOWS from experience that being dead and having to cope with what that means for you is like VERY UPSETTING AND TRAUMATIC#shes not just like. 'hee hee i think death is great and awesome because im edgy'#shes like 'no dude being dead is scary if you dont have anybody to explain this shit to you. so im going to explain it-'#'-and hopefully by the end of this conversation you will have some new things to feel relief and maybe even joy and excitement about'#'not just in spite of the death thing but BECAUSE of it'#i know shes spooky and has weirdgirl swag and we all love that about her but like#at her core she is a very KIND person. she may occasionally struggle to connect to people through the Death Special Interest Haze#but she WANTS to and when she DOES she is like. a genuinely very warm and comforting presence for her friends#ANYWAY. if andrew hussie or i guess james roach now want to give me an honorary doctorate for my 12+ years of intensive aradia studies#i will be here waiting patiently#timerails
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kon sweetie im so fucking sorry that someone would even say something stupid like that oh my god.
#rimi talks#paraphrasing the beyonce gif bc i dont remember exactly how it goes but.#sometimes people follow me and i really genuinely don't know why at all because their blog header and desc make it extremely clear#that they are someone i want on my block list PRONTO. like. what are you doing. why are you coming into my house#have i not made it clear enough that i hate that shit. why are you trying to follow me. get OUT of my activity page block button SAVE MEEE#PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY READ COMICS AND ARENT STUPID SAVEEE MEEEEEEEE#anyway i apparently have not been clear enough about my opinions so let me speak my truth.#i think jason todd is really fucking annoying. i don't like 99% of fan content about him and i don't like 99% of his fans.#i think that jay // tim is a dumb ship and i think that jay // kon is an even worse one and i think jay// tim// kon// sucks SHIT#i also think that you should simply read comics before you start posting about the characters from said comics.#like i recognize that i cant stop anyone from posting bad opinions but i would love to not see them <3#anyway im chasing people out with a broom. OUT OF MY HOUSE. OUT. OUT#IM A COMICS BLOGGER. NOT A ''BAD TELEPHONE GAME ABOUT SOMETHING SOMEONE HEARD ABOUT A COMIC ONCE'' BLOGGER#OUT OF MY HOUSE ! ! ! !! ! ! !!#merry shitscram. now scram your shit and go. is this anything#<- i have to make bad jokes or ill die. you understand.#and like tbc this was just case of ''blog desc header and top posts were all really fucking annoying''#and not ''something actively harmful or evil'' like its fine its just Extremely deeply not my cup of tea yk#but i do also have to be dramatic about reading words in an order that i really hated sometimes. or i will also die.#anyways. take my hand. read superman (1987) 155
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ok. question.
ortega ended up hallucinating sidestep after they "died", but sidestep doesnt know about that. they know it got bad, but never the full extent of how their death affected them. so if your sidestep Did learn, if they found out ortega looked for them in every little piece they could, would that change anything for your sidesteps? would their relationship with ortega be any different?
#pulp speaks#Am i thinking of my “ortega sees sidestep posthb” fic again? perhaps#shameless plug btw yall should read it its called 'seen' on ao3 and i still like it#but anyway the important bits: ive been thinking about it with my sidesteps and its really interesting to me how different they are#but theyre all some variation of “i didnt know you /cared/”#caine is. uncomfortable with the idea#i genuinely dont know why but i do know that in the end their feelings on the matter are “whats done is done and im back now” with a small#“ill try not to leave again” mixed in#meanwhile cyrus is a deer in headlights over it#itd be way worse if he learned it when they met again- i feel like if he learned ortega was still that attached he wouldve left and never-#-come back. he would still want to Now but hes too tangled in his relationships and ortega is his /friend/ and leaving would just explode i#-his face‚ god Damnit ortega you son of a bitch‚ he shouldve just run. you werent supposed to drag him into caring about people again.#cecilia would have mixed feelings about it. i think shed resonate with it a lot for reasons she doesnt want to face#but it would also hit her like a goddamn Truck that he chose to move on/replace her rather than try get her back and its easier to get mad-#-about that than question her own feelings. but also maybe she could use this to her advantage? maybe this time he knows theres always a-#-chance hell come back for her next time. maybe. shes hoping there wont be a next time.#cynthias an interesting case because shes in love with ortega. deeply. but ortega /never came for her/ when she /promised/ and cynthia-#-is still furious about it#ortega hallucinated her in death but she couldnt put the pieces together and go looking herself? she cared enough to look for her but-#-not enough to save her?#she would still end up settling on bitterness for abandoning her but the information would shake her to her core#anyway. i think ortega should be used as a squeaky toy 👍#caine lynzal#cyrus becker#cecilia rider#cynthia garcia#ortega#sidestep#fhr
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Sometimes my mom is like "part of what's great about having you around is I can stay in touch with the Youth" and I'm like. Mom bad news. I'm 27. And dont have tiktok. I have no goddamn idea what the Youth are up to
#is it doll collecting? cuase thats what im doing#i genuinely dont even know whats going on in the doll world#for people that are not gay 20 and 30 somethings#what dolls are being bought for kids??? i have no fucking clue#/I/ like magic mixies pixlings and minster high though
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Fernando Alonso & His Relationship With Cards
I'm sure we're all familar with the cards on the back of Fernando's Vegas GP helmet by now, but did you know his relationship with cards goes a lot deeper?
I. Magic Tricks
You've probably seen or heard someone at least mention Fernando's propensity for card tricks. As far as I can tell he was doing them(publically) as far back as 2003 all the way to as recently as 2018. Even once performing a card trick, with a condom and a teddy bear(!??!?!??!!), in front of Valentino Rossi who said "How was that possible?"(x)
But how did this start? According to James Allen, "Fernando admits to having been heavily influenced by his grandfather, a mercurial figure, who taught him magic and card tricks, still one of his passions away from the race track."(x) And I'm not sure the validity of this one, because I couldn't find an actual source, but apparently he once said: "My parents are responsible for the two things I like doing most - driving and magic tricks. They bought me my first go-kart and a magician's kit."
In several interviews he described it as his hobby off track, and that he loved learning new tricks and surprising others in the garage with them! So clearly cards are pretty important to him both as a hobby but also to who he is as a person since they've been with him just as long as racing has.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/1bb15ce2fc855bd8c955246a33602a26/c3f84f031eae1c02-a3/s540x810/8de5f7c5874f6bdb6fc446314cf5e29c5b8acd2a.jpg)
II. Card Symbolism in His Helmets
This is the reason I originally made this post, but I thought I should also explain the origins of his card fascination first. As I said, we probably all remember the cards on the back of his helmet in Vegas, but did you know that wasn't the first time he had cards on the back of his helmet?
From 2008-2013, he used to have a pair of cards on the back of his helmets. The symbolisms of the cards themselves as well as the evolution of their design is really fascinating to me! Even more so with the recent development of the card choice in 2023.
Fernando said he wanted to reference his two titles in some way on the back of his helmet and after his friend sent him several ideas, he decided on having two cards(an ace of clubs and an ace of hearts, sometimes pictured with 05 and 06 on them as well), saying: "I picked the cloverleaf [the ace of clubs - Ed] to give me luck, but the only pity is that it doesn't have four leaves!"(X)
2008.
Here's the very first appearance of the cards! They're displayed flat, with the 05 and 06 clearly visible
2009.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/eee29ffc7d718ca8c55d45f9b3aff14c/c3f84f031eae1c02-58/s400x600/5187f57fb39f3318051cf96fbc38d2ce93ba7c5b.jpg)
Very similar to 2008, but with a slightly different design, and they're maybe a bit more straight with less shadow?
2010.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/9cd99dcdb22a92937a1d5209685110e9/c3f84f031eae1c02-a9/s400x600/2141d928f0a8229a76f7c65a36020c4e92001e59.jpg)
This is the first major change! I was sad they didn't have the years on them anymore, but then I realized they're sparkly to match with his signature lightning bolts on the top of the helmet!!
2011.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/95068615c3b04c3ec467b2a5764e44ff/c3f84f031eae1c02-36/s400x600/169636ffedbb44cd6f961f21b66fa06e03b38309.jpg)
Honestly I'm still somewhat unsure if this is the actual 2011 helmet? It's pretty difficult to find clear photos of the back of helmets from older seasons. It's easiest to find them on replica sites or auction sites so I'm not 100%? But anyways, I like that this has the championship years on the underside of the cards
2012.
This is when I started getting weirdly emotional about the helmets. Do you see how they've progressed from being a centerpoint to being curled up and sad at the bottom of the helmet? Not listing the year anymore??
2013.
Same thoughts as 2012. And after this season, they cease to exist (just like his ferrari chair in the garage, WOAH CALLBACK), until cards make a reeappearance in his Vegas helmet, albeit in a different form
2013 Monaco(Honorable Mention):
For some reason 2013 helmets were easier to find proper pictures of, so I happened to witness this absolute beauty. The creativity of this helmet genuinely blows me away??? Wanting to keep the card motif, but making sure to incorporate it into the rest of the puzzle piece design?? Mwah! There was another special 2013 helmet but they didn't change the cards at all so I really applaud this one
2023 Las Vegas(The Return of The King):
The magnificent return! But look! The cards are different cards! Instead of being two aces, it's now an ace of hearts, a four of hearts(his driver number of course!) and, the, now iconic, representation of himself as a Joker. I literally could not believe my eyes when this helmet was released and I saw the Joker card, what a fucking silly old man....I really wonder if he felt nostalgic having cards on his helmet again or if he didn't think about it all and was just like, "ah cards because Vegas!!!"
III. Why Does This Matter?
*The rest of the post was factual, this is moreso my personal thoughts on the symbolism of the cards/designs
This post spawned from me recently watching the 2010 Bahrain gp and noticing "hey wait a minute...are those CARDS ON THE BACK OF HIS HELMET!?" It's a really tiny detail that's unfortunately covered up by the HANS device pretty much whenever he's wearing the helmet, so it's really difficult to spot! But I became fascinated with the fact that he had cards on his helmet before that recent helmet, and now here we are!
There's something to me about how the design of the cards evolves over the course of six seasons from the cards being front and center to being smaller, more folded up and closer to the bottom of the helmet. As I said, the 2012-2013 ones genuinely made me depressed because it feels, symbolically, like his hopes for getting another Ace are becoming more and more unlikely and falling away until they eventually fall falt and fade away entirely after 2013 and disappear for basically a decade.
But when they return? They're not the same cards! Instead of representing Fernando's championships, they now represent him as a person, displaying his driver number and his persona of being a Joker!! Though I do think it's interesting he happened to keep the Ace of Hearts, even though he talked more about the Ace of Clubs before. I'm not sure it's actually this deep in reality, but I like to think that it's him not letting his championships(and the lack thereof) define him, but rather letting who he is as a person shine and be the centerpoint instead! But on a sadder note, as @suzuki-ecstar said to me, maybe the Aces aren't there anymore because he's lost all hope for a chance at a third Ace entirely :(
#yes its finals week and im up to my eyes in coursework but instead decided to spend like 5 hours researching and writing this post#nah bcs i actually genuinely put more work into this then I think I have all semester dsfjdskjg#that thing about him using a condom and teddy bear in a magic trick genuinely had me crying with laugher. actual tears rolling down my face#<- HOW!?!? WHAT WAS THE TRICK?? its literally inconceivable to me what he did. oh if only there were pics UGH#anyways!! this post was a lot of fun to make!! i really really love the symbolism and design of helmets so this was a rly fun project#and i also went down a lot of rabbitholes while make this and saw many very weird articles from yore#i feel like i make an equal amnt of deranged posts abt seb and nando but i dont know why nando is gifted w all my well researched projects#<- i.e. chair post. that was the same level of research as this one but at least this one i could find actual sources about....#idk theres smth about the extremely long history of nando's history that evokes research posts like this KLAJSLSKDJ#theres just so much that i dont think I ever really see people discussing! so i must create.#haha what was that joke tag i wanted to make abt my researched posts? I think:#normal posts that catie normally makes in a normal fashion#<- one day ill go back and actually tag posts w that. bcs the amtn of research compared to my actual schoolwork is so unwell#fernando alonso#fa14#f1#formula 1#catie.rambling.txt#we do a little bit of f1
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lead us not
#this comp is directly based on 'lead us not into temptation' by mucha. go look it up the piece looks so GOOD#just#head in hands. this is prob my last piece before the next lore drop so do w that what u will#just give iiiiin silver just follow malleus and trust in the dream worlds hes making!!! duh!!!1!1!!!1 DUH. (lying) (lying) (lying)#he knows BEST let him lead u towards a happy end for the next 1000 years of happy dream worlds. sobibng.#yea so the composition fucked so hard i literally HAD to draw something. im genuinely begging just go look it up. u gotta see my vision#twst#twisted wonderland#twst spoilers#book 7 spoilers#malleus draconia#twst silver#silver vanrouge#peep the other chars distorted af in the bg u cant see them well but i swear they were distinct originally#suntails#tumblr gets it first again. congrats u guys r my favs dont tell twitter
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