#i fucking love myself
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this!!!
do it scared do it weird do it alone. holy trinity
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she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#“lemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of them” .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
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language barrier be damned we all laugh & cry the same way & squeal when we're happy & sob when we're sad all the same way. language barriers don't stop us from expressing our emotions with tone & expression. you can always tell when someone's asking a question or if they are stressed or if they are excited or stuff. I fuckin love being a human and alive
#human#i fucking love myself#i love people#i love love#this shit is like real by kendrick lamar up in here. or tpab#FUCK yeah! human condition!!#human condition#thoughts#it's 12:24 am rn#language#expression
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Yaoi Break with Da Bois
#dungeon meshi#marcille donato#chilchuck tims#senshi#laios touden#the art of a lemon wedge#i love this scene so fucking much i needed to make a keyshain version for myself AHAHAHA
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saw spiderverse twice today and pavitr prabhakar did you know that you are EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!
#spiderman across the spiderverse#spiderverse#pavitr prabhakar#spiderman india#across the spiderverse#the goods#I LOVED THIS MOVIE SOOOOOOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOOSSOSOOSOSOSOSOOOOO MUCH#went to go see it by myself in the arvo (bought a pavitr funko while i was at it) then went again w my mates again in the evening#ITS SOOOOOOOO GOOD. SUCH A FUCKIN FEAST. ITS IF U GOT WHATS UP DANGER AND STRETCHED IT ACROSS 2 HOURS#fuck it was good.
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What's funny about this is that both SimCity and Cities Skylines are simulators, so they could allow you to simulate different economic and urbanist models. This could create really fun gameplay and challenges too.
However that would mean introducing POLITICS like actual classes with interests as well as citizens participating (both by regular 'politics' and by acting by themselves) in the construction of a city, instead of being an almighty mayor who rules undisputed over their lives.
And many city builder fans aren't really interested on that, they just want a green empty field which has never existed anywhere in history so they can build a city and get to the real thing: Solving Traffic.
#cosas mias#I would love to make a city builder/politics simulator without anything but the most basic traffic tools#as a citizen myself fucking traffic is perhaps at the very bottom of what I care about
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I. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. I’m okay I’m fine I’m okay I’m fine I’m oka
The fic I'm illustrating and losing my mind about 👉 Mistakes on mistakes until
#maccadam#transformers#prowl#jazz#jazzprowl#momu fanart#fic fanart#LISTEN.#I DON'T THINK JAZZ IS GONNA DIE.#BUT I THINK HE M I G HT#Like.#I don't even know anymore#something in me tells me that everything will be fine#but! throughout this whole fic my inner voice was absolutely. completely#DRAMATICALLY fucking wrong 90% of the time#so it's not like I can't trust the tropes#I can't even trust myself anymore ahahahah#his 'see you on the other side' YOU SENSE IT TOO RIGHT?? ri g h t?#or Is it me just finally losing the last pieces of my sanity?#both ways - I fucking love this fic#I want to make it into a physical copy for myself once it's finished (despite printer ink costing like an airplane wing in my country lol)
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obsessed w these boneheads as of late :]
#griddlehark#tlt#the locked tomb#gideon nav#harrowhark nonagesimus#gtn#when u and the situationship livin it up in a haunted palace... FO FREE!!!!!#i wanted 2 do a background 4 this but college and work have been kicking my ASS so#figured i should just post it and move on i got other sketches and wips#anyways hello tlt fans do not expect me 2 draw anything the same twice. love u <3#in this kitchen we fuck it And we ball. no artistic sameness and we like it that way. i also serve food once a month#stay at your own risk#i've been going insane over tlt by myself on my side acc and the longer i have no one 2 talk abt nona grief with#the more art i will pop out. but also pls i need 2 talk abt this shit w someone i'm coughing and dying out here
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mourning black and the death of ideals
#i haven't moved on from this yet. btw. i'm still here#finally decided to draw the thought i've been ruminating over for days on end bc it's like a parasite eating away my brain#stated this on the initial post i made days ago but there's just smt so gut wrenching and sickening#about how dazai will have worn black exactly twice in his life: once as a member of the mafia and now at kunikida's funeral#a color that initially signified devotion to the mafia and his demon prodigy alias now signifies his grief#him having to wear black again at the funeral of another doomed fatalist who chose his heart over his survival. his own partner.#kunikida's death being so reminiscent of the tragedy that initially caused him to defect and flee#and everything tying together full circle and effectively breaking him#asagiri rly said fuck knkdz it's doppover we lost gang ���😭😭#why did bro leave that fucking notebook behind#fool. do you know that angst potential you have left me to work with?#love never won in bsd. it lay dead and festering#i don't know how much longer i can keep saying i miss them. i'm going to kill myself if he doesn't come back#i've never wanted something to be death bait so desperately#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#kunikidazai#knkdz#kunizai#(??? technically. its implied anyway)#lotus draws
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being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one
#aromantic people are just sexy i'm not making the decisions here it's just facts#course ur hot as fuck. it came free with the aromanticism#being sexy is just default settings for aromantic people 👍#hope this all helps. anyway i'm on my 'i hope i die alone <3 i can't wait to die alone <3' kick rn#i think the existential fear that people have of Not Partnering specifically is so. well.#obviously that shit is strong and it is SO awesome to be free of it.#realizing you're aro and you don't Want a partner can be such a hit to the solar plexus#cause society says that's the only thing that'll make you happy. so either you go without that thing or you force yourself#into doing something you don't want which would make you unhappy anyway.#so you think it's a lose lose situation and you have to come to terms with what amatonormativity presents as the worst possible situation#but then! whoa! turns out personhood is inherently valuable in and of itself and romantic partnering is just a construct!#and that nightmare is now your life to do with as you please... define as you will... structure as you want...#best case scenario. is what i'm saying.#every day i wake up ready to spit all that amatonormative rhetoric back in life's teeth by being alone and being happy#and it's so fucking satisfying. every day.#fucking JUBILANT being by myself. and i love being a living breathing 'fuck you' to the romantic system#you need a partner to be happy? oh that's sooo fucking crazy guess i'll go be miserable then. in my perfect fucking dream life lmao#yeah obviously it's the worst possible outcome on earth to die without a partner. so terrible. can't wait for it :)#aromantic#aromanticism#aro positivity#aroace#arospec#sorry to bitches who are sad about not having a partner. i could not give a fuck though get better soon#you couldn't EVER pay me enough to go back to a mindset in which my inherent value wasn't enough by myself.#FUCK that shit. absolutely miserable and a bad life outlook in general. like genuinely do the work w/ amatonormativity and get better#life is something that can be so fulfilling whether someone wants to kiss you or whatever or not#i'm on antidepressants and i have people i care deeply about. what the fuck would i need a partner for lmao
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Sometimes I think oh I could totally brat but then I remember that I fold like a cheap tent at the slightest hint of possibly being praised
#it’s embarrassing how easy#like yeah I’ll taunt and try and get someone to snap#and would love to tease and act out#but also know when the slightest bit of pressure is applied#I will trip over myself to do whatever will get me called a good boy#I’ll do it one day I know it#because I also wanna be a brat to the point it has to get fucked out of me while I cry#t4t switch#t4t puppy#t4t nsft#:3
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This joke came to me in a fit of laughter (ALT description provided :3!)
#superman#batman#the flash#flash#wally west#bruce wayne#clark kent#justice leauge unlimited#justice league#abruptly I was hit with this joke when I made one abt myself being always 2 seconds away from crying and realised it worked oh so well#i had so much fun drawing this#esp bc i was really trying to find a good medium between my style and the jlu style#super blocky but also a bit more realistic than jlu#batman is so shape and i fucking love it#literally i just drew his outline i didn't even bother with the rest of it#gremlin fucking creature. man who is just an object#this is my first time ever doing like an actual attempt at dc-#homegrown art
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The Magician - Dorian Pavus
#DORIAN TAROT YAHAHAHA#look i know im like 10 years late to the party but....#ive decided the best thing to do about my burgeoning dorian obsession is to just feed it#new meow meow alert sorry guys#i have a specific vision for his fuck ass haircut#ive never done anything like this before but im really chuffed with how it turned out#god bless river from a week ago that decided to download brushes#im gonna make one for virgil too and maybe bull if i dont tire myself out#also i started a playlist for dorian cause i need relevant music when im painting#dorian pavus#dragon age#dragon age inquisition#dai#dragon age fanart#dai fanart#tarot#my art#ok anyways love u bye :-)
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a glass sun 1/2
#my art#my stuff#this is really fucking long so im gonna have to break it up into multiple reblogs#(howling) WAUGHHHHHHH#i love aishang by xiaoshiguniang#i love to implicate my alma mater in my art about being gay in the shittiest most conservative corner of singaporean society#by some terrible trick of fate i ended up in the conservative chinese christian cishet circuit from primary school to end of hs#obviously i am not most of these things but there i was. Depressed#and there i was after that at Liberal Arts College. the 4 years i spent there were a clusterfuck#but like a good and outrageous and lively clusterfuck#and i graduated in may this year and when i came back it was for the first time in 10 months. it was like. what da hell#like i love being here in specific ways but there is also the pain of being seen as something you're not constantly#can i blame them? i ask myself this every day. for most of my ex classmates and relatives i Am the only not cis person they know#idk my lottery number was bad this corner of society really is that bad#and so its like. idk dawg anyway i aint offering solutions but u get it like it fucks with your head to be misgendered either which way 24/#but to leave them behind would be to leave the only people who knew me for the first 19 years behind. and thats a lot of my life#i am 23!!!!!! ough#anyway. whatever. if u liked it i have a ko-fi#reblogos appreciated
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early bday art :33 (the 5th) (im so excited)
#ass….. I couldn’t help myself#jason todd#red hood#dick grayson#nightwing#batfam#jason todd fanart#red hood fanart#dick grayson fanart#nightwing fanart#the brothers ever !!!!!!!!#love them sm#dni batcest .. that’s fucking gross bro#ill beat you with hammers
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