#i fucking hate shakespeare. do you know how hard it is to hate shakespeare as an ENGLISH MAJOR

[miaoqing]

oughhh save me bingyuan ..... bingyuan save me ........

[www-pinkhearse]

I’m sorry

[starberry-cupcake]

I shouldn't be making another one of these because I didn't even give you enough time to catch up and I'm sure you're tired of me (I'm probably losing mutuals over the length of these) BUT I FINISHED ACT II and I think this is the right place for an update recap. I'm so sorry.

previously, in harrowlana the ninth (reference I might explain one day):

this happened

currently, chapters 20 - 22 (END OF ACT II!!!):

we start with a killer epitaph from harrow for her own grave that I absolutely 10000% need in a tshirt yesterday

"Here lies the world's most insufferable witch"

alleged gideon the first, here known as ortus the first (but I am so sure about this one) has tried to kill harrowbeanie 14 times

I honestly don't know how harrow is going through this without outright telling emperor johnny man to go and insert this entire planetary situation right in the center of his bolthole

we're over here working overtime for you and your sorry ass of a plan that is probably terrible for everyone who isn't you

and we have to put up with zombies (we'll get there), the terrible attitude of your remaining lyctors, very questionable food, very questionable decor, very questionable non goth fashions, and also a man who tries to kill harrow at every turn

this is the worst

at least in canaan house we had gideon's humor and camilla's perfection

ANYWAY

emperor john tells alleged gideon the first (if I'm wrong about this, these are going to be embarrassing looking back on) "she's your responsibility, not your punching bag" to which alleged gideon the first answers "I find the responsibility a hard one"

I'm not sure if this is alluding to baby lyctors in general or harrow in particular, or if anything related to the gideon-involvement narrative I'm imagining has anything to do with it

emperor johnny boy tells harrowbean that this guy's problem is that he made a pact with an "authority he has no power to gainsay" to protect emperor johnny john and that alleged gideon the first thinks harrow is a danger to the emperor

I SURE HOPE SO

I SURE HOPE HARROW KILLS THIS MAN

I HOPE ALLEGED GIDEON THE FIRST IS RIGHT

harrow then mentions how she's "lyctor lite" and emperor john of nottingham says he doesn't think harrow fucked up the lyctor thing

he says only one person fucked it up and it was nasty

it was the ninth lyctor, Anastasia (and a song someone sings, once upon a december)

the vacant room harrowbean has taken residence in was meant for her, but she never made it there

she asked emperor john the asshat to kill her and he said no because he's that kind of a person

"she had much more to give"

I hate this guy

he also says "I had a body and I needed a tomb"

harrow asks the question everyone is asking themselves

aside from where tf are gideon and camilla

"God, who did you bury?"

he gets all vague and cryptic so he can avoid taking about what the fuck he's doing

and he quotes Annabel Lee

edgar allan poe's Annabel Lee

this is a bit more in my wheelhouse than shakespeare

to which harrow notes "Who was A.L.?"

now, I have SEVERAL THINGS TO SAY

first, and most importantly, I HAVE BEEN SAYING THIS

THAT ICE CUBE BARBIE MIGHT BE A.L.

I HAVE BEEN SAYING THIS, FAM

here's more magic knight rayearth art of the vibes I get from them to celebrate

second of all, Annabel Lee

I do have Annabel Lee in one of my EAP books, but not the one with the pretty Lacombe illustrations

so here are some Ligeia illustrations from it that have the vibe we're going for, as a treat

now, not to be all ortus over here, but I'm gonna be reciting some poetry

For the moon never beams, without bringing me dreams Of the beautiful Annabel Lee; And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes Of the beautiful Annabel Lee; And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side Of my darling—my darling—my life and my bride, In her sepulchre there by the sea— In her tomb by the sounding sea.

gonna put that in the 3d model

in the middle of it, like a centerpiece

let's bring back the barbie

this man is doing the whole wife/madwoman in the attic gothic trope but instead of an attic it's a tomb in pluto

another madwoman archetype to add to the list, we've got a whole collection

CHAPTER 21

we have summoned ortus by reciting poetry, because we're back in the gideon-less version of canaan house

so, the sixth is dead in this version

the sleeper or random rifle carrying person shot them in the face a bunch of times

what I wanted to do to not!dulcinea

harrow mentions not having seen camilla or palmolive much in this gideon-less version

devastating for her not to have met camilla

so then protozoa and dulcinea come in

notice I didn't say not!dulcinea

that's because this is the real deal dulcinea and the alive non zombified protozoa

we can know this by their descriptions (especially the hair), the fact that dulcinea knows who tf palmolive is, that she has a breathing tube that palmolive designed for her (this guy istg), that she can identify them and calls them "cam" and "pal"

I was so caught up on this book I forgot to read the short story that came before it btw

anyway, we also know this because protozoa speaks, but we'll get to that

before that, ortus calls the sleeper "the waker" and it's giving me the vibes of the citadel deck

wait, I'm gonna take a pic of some of the cards that give me the correct tlt vibes, so you know what the hecko I'm talking about

(I'm going on unplanned tangents but maybe someone appreciates them)

(we've moved from 3d models to me fetching books and decks from my shelves, what has palmolive done to me)

so, as previously established, protozoa speaks, which is how we know he might be the real one and not the zombie version

he then proceeds to recite poetry

ortus is feral about this

I thought initially that they were gonna have to make room for protozoa in the polycule ortus is in with the fifth, but he doesn't like protozoa coming for his gig

abby says "we're all in this together" which reminds me I did make a high school musical connection with magnus before, so it's funny that it turned out that way

abby asks real dulcinea, aka "dulcie" to her, to bring in mayonnaise uncle because he'll listen to her

why is everyone always into her in all the aus, idk

this one is less bad than not!dulcinea though, but the bar for that was on the subsoil

magnus (who is very much in love with his wife and he's pointing it out every chance he gets) is in charge of looking for martita

harrow is in charge of regina george twin (and yandere twin)

abby thinks regina george twin is the most relevant one

apparently also they're flooded with the rain

which was me last week, so I feel you fam

and we get our traidtional quote, this time by real dulcinea

"Is this really how it happens, Lady Pent?" "No. It's not" "Does it get—better than this? Do you know?"

real dulcinea is saying goodbye to palmolive and the love of my life, who I refuse to accept is in any way harmed in any timeline

and harrow "felt something in her core, though she did not know precisely what it was"

palmolive had a filmsy and we love flimsies because they have what I have started to call "harrow texts"

or "texts which can only be read by harrow"

OP is still ranting, a continuation of the egg rant

I'm gonna transcribe all of it and bold the new part, for my own access, even though everyone who has me in their dash will hate me and block me

The eggs you gave me all died and you lied to me so I did the implantation myself you self-serving zombie and you still sent him after me and I would have had him if I hadn't been compromised and he took pity on me! he took pity on me! he saw me and he took pity on me. And for that I'll make you both suffer until you no longer understand the meaning of that goddamned word. Him I'll kill quick because she asked me to and because that much he honestly deserves but you two mummified wizard shits I will burn and burn and burn burn until there is no trace of you left in the shadow of my long-lost natal sun

could the self-serving zombie be emperor john? could gideon the first be one of the people alluded to? has Annabel Lee anything to do with any of this? since OP mentions a long-lost natal sun? who's "she"? has gideon's mom anything to do with any of this? is this totally not related? is this the actual present? does 'mummified wizard shits' stand for lyctor? because I kinda live for that

ortus, on the other hand, sees an S

ortus in this timeline knows how his dad died, apparently

and we end this part with harrow and ortus finding rusted pipette needles

CHAPTER 22

harrow has killed 13 planets in this practice, which is insane and nobody's asking any questions about it

she was dreaming with ice cube barbie annabel lee and she told her to wake up

harrow mentions the sword sleeping next to her in a loverlike position and it reads like a gideon body pillow to me

remember when I said we should have flushed not!dulcinea into space?

GUESS WHO WAS RIGHT

nobody ever takes the not!dulcinea threat seriously but me

I have to do everything around here

she's a zombie now, which is protozoa's revenge from behind the veil

there's a moment in which she trips but still looks at harrow and it's very creepy and well narrated but I can't help but think of the dracula dead and loving it scene with hypnosis

"it was as though a magnet were stuck in the meat, a magnet that craved some polar force within you" wonder what THAT is about

much like the sleeper/waker, not!dulcinea can pass through wards apparently

harrow goes to wake up yandere twin and says "septimus is walking"

yandere twin doesn't understand at first "the name that had never been cytherea's" and later says "tell her I want my arm back"

which relates to the fact that I've been thinking

if real dulcinea is there in the gideon-less ver

how was not!dulcinea even involved?

because harrow seems to have memories of killing her, of fighting her, of her doing damage in some way, of her being a threat, of her doing it to lure emperor johnny boy to canaan house

so we have some big missing link between the gideon-less canaan version and the emperor's bolthole timeline

she can't be the sleeper/waker, because harrow wouldn't call her "septimus"

so harrow remembers not!dulcinea posing as real dulcinea, which does not happen in the gideon-less version, as far as we can tell atm

AGAIN, DON'T TELL ME ANYTHING, LET ME BE IN DISTRESS

last but not less important

remember not to hint me anything at all and thank you for being patient with me all this time ♥

[macbooth]

full of childish whimsy in a hostile fashion tonight so here’s every shakespeare clown i can think of and whether or not i think i’d beat them in a fight

(i do not mean fools i mean clowns. they do not need to be the secret genius of the play. if they are stupid in every way shape or form i am including them here)

Puck (A Midsummer Night’s Dream) No chance. Bro’s got that magic and ALSO has a big strong scary fairy king as his bear, like, do not separate them. If I even tried throwing hands at this cunt I’d get torn to shreds and used as glitter dude, I’d be over. 0/10

Nick Bottom (A Midsummer Night’s Dream) I could but I’d feel bad. I also think he’d put up a really solid fight. Like this is out of donkey form, bro was a physical worker. Like I reckon I could win a fight with some of the tradies I’ve seen but I don’t think it’d be easy. Also he’s just really dumb so I would feel a little bad. Donkey form though, I’m running away. Scary as shit. I am afraid of horses though. 6.5/10

Touchstone (As You Like It) Absolutely I could beat the shit out of this man. I hate him so much. Full of hostility towards this fucker. His clothes aren’t even subtle I could find this bitch in the forest no time and hunt him down and rip him to shreds, fuckin court jester doesn’t even have the roughness of the country on his side. 9/10 (-1 point cause he definitely fights dirty but I just hate him so much I’d win)

Jaques (As You Like It) First off he’s absolutely a clown. Second off I’ve played him before so my word is gospel. Third off bro has no fucking chance against me. He’s a podcast bro who thinks I don’t know that Tame Impala is one dude. I’d ask him why we can’t print more money and he would explode instantly and it would be the funniest thing he did with his life. 10/10

Audrey & Corin (As You Like It) I’m lumping these two together cause in the show I did they were one character (and I also played them). I wouldn’t even want to fight these two. And even if I wanted to Audrey would absolutely be able to beat the shit out of me and I would thank her. Our setting was in semi-modern country Australia, that girl would have a shotgun. 2/10

Autolycus (Winter’s Tale) Just like Jaques to me. He might be a little bit harder because he’d change costume and I’d get confused because I have no object permanence but other than that what has he got. Bitterness? Resentment? Bitch so did I when I was 15 grow up experience love. 8/10

Falstaff (Henry IV parts 1 & 2, Merry Wives of Windsor) I don’t actually know about this one but he is very punchable. I feel like he’d let me punch him and I think one punch would be enough for me. I think that would satisfy my urge to punch him. He may be a knight but let’s be honest he’s shit at it so I stand by this. 4/10 (just cause I don’t really give a shit)

The Dromios (Comedy of Errors) I absolutely could beat them in a fight but I would feel So Bad. You see how they’re literally already treated in the play, I wanna give them a break. That being said they’re both kinda dicks but they’re going through it already so I’d wanna give them a breather. I would win though, even if they both were attacking at once. 7/10

Launcelot Gobbo (Merchant of Venice) He’s such a prick but I would be laughing too hard at his name to fight him. Bro’s name is Gobbo. Bro’s name is basically Gobby. Imagine being named Blowjob. I would lose my mind. I would laugh so so hard I would collapse. My heart would fail. Biggest L name out there bro. Launcelot Gobbo oh my god. 3/10

Launce (Two Gentlemen of Verona)  Nah man he has an attack dog. I don’t care what breed of dog Crab is in a production I fully believe he would kill for Launce, that’s just their dynamic. I understand them better than anyone else (I have a dog). Also he’s already working for Proteus, is that not punishment enough? 4/10

Speed (Two Gentlemen of Verona) I mean I definitely could fight him. I don’t imagine he’s got much fighting experience. But once again, he has to deal with Valentine which does feel like it would be cruel to inflict more onto him. Like Valentine’s not as bad as Proteus but fuck is he stupid. Also if I accidentally flubbed a punch Speed could absolutely tear me a new asshole with his words and I would sob and cry and literally never recover. 4/10

The Porter (Macbeth) Fuck no. Bro definitely has a knife on him at all times. I can’t explain why I think this I just do. He works night shift, he definitely doesn’t get paid enough for his dog shit job, he would absolutely try to stab me just to spice up his evening without me starting a fight. 1/10

Trinculo (Tempest) Yes. Sorry, you’re Russell Brand? L. I could kick your ass. And he’s like drunk for half the show, and almost fucked a fish. I doubt his judgement is good enough to say the alphabet backwards let alone dodge a punch. He couldn’t even get Caliban to kick my ass (who definitely could by the way) cause Caliban fucking hates him. Bro, failwife to Stephano should pay more. But it doesn’t. 8.5/10

Dogberry (Much Ado About Nothing) Without Verges? Yes. With Verges? No way. Those two are a power couple in the dumbest possible way. He would absolutely try to get me arrested though but I simply would not go to prison. What’s he gonna do? Send me to prison? I’m already not going. 7/10

Mercutio (Romeo and Juliet) No chance. Unless Romeo fucked up so bad like he did in the actual play, I would have no chance against this dude. I wouldn’t even want to even if I could. I’m a Benvolio stan first and foremost and a person second you think I’d wanna fight his bestie? Only exception is if it was an actual fight club and not just a pure fight out of hatred. I feel like Mercutio could give Brad Pitt Fight Club Realness, outfits included.  I would still lose though. 2.5/10

Don Adriano De Armado (Love’s Labour’s Lost) I reckon I could wreck this dude’s shit. You know that gif where the fuckin dude is doing all these cool sword moves and then he just gets shot? You know the one. I forgot where it’s from but you know the one. That would be this fight. Armado would bust out his flair, his razzle dazzle, his pizzaz, and I would just deck him I think. That’s the power you need in this world, I think. Power of fist to face. Peace and love. <3 8/10

Costard (Love’s Labour’s Lost) I do not think Costard would realise he was being fought even as he was actively getting hit in the face. I know how to say honorificabilitudinitatibus, he doesn’t even have that against me. Bro couldn’t even confuse me with that, I learnt that, like an adult. Anyway yeah I’d kick his ass. 9/10

Holofernes & Sir Nathaniel (Love’s Labour’s Lost) This is the same man to me. I would destroy them both. Fuckin nerds. Flowery ass language nerds. I support gay rights and gay wrongs but the only reason I couldn’t fight those two gay muppets who heckle is cause they’re too far away (in a theatre booth), these two gay muppets who heckle are right in front of me. I’d kick their tweed cladded asses. 10/10

Jaquenetta (Love’s Labour’s Lost) She is just like Audrey to me. I could never bring myself to hurt her. Also she’s pregnant and I feel like it’s fucked up to hit a pregnant woman just for fun. Also she could absolutely wreck my shit. Please wreck my shit Jaquenetta. 0.5/10

Moth (Love’s Labour’s Lost) This little fucker should be an INSTANT knock out but I just know this fucker bites. He’s a shit talking 8 year old? Oh he plays wolves on the playground, I just know it. He plays wolves and he’s definitely been suspended for it, I just know it in my heart. Sure, I could kick him, but he would grab hold of my foot and try to rip it off. We would shake hands and agree to part ways, having met our match. He, who plays wolves, and me, who played fairies, leave the fight with our heads high and respect in our hearts. I am kidding of course but I do think we would tie. 5/10

Lear’s Fool (King Lear) There’s already so much fighting going on, I don’t even think they’d notice if I just started kicking this dude. Not only could I fight him and win, I think I’d get away with it too. I’d win not only physically but socially too. What’s he gonna do? Tell his boss? Bro he’s preoccupied with his whole kingdom crumbling, grow up. 9/10

Lavatch (All’s Well That Ends Well) This is more meta but my hatred of this play would fuel me here. I would fight literally anyone in this play if given the chance, not a joke. I would get in the ring with literally anyone from this play, but honestly, out of them all I weirdly respect Lavatch the most, maybe because he at least knows that he’s a cunt, unlike literally everyone else who Just Suck. I do think he’s probably scrappy though, so I wouldn’t leave unscathed. I also think if he got the upper hand he would be so so awful about it, so I’d really have to fight. 6/10

Sir Toby Belch & Sir Andrew Aguecheek (Twelfth Night)  Andrew is canonically bad at fighting, and honestly I do not believe Toby would be any better. Love both of these guys but if I had to fight them both at once I think I would be able to just move out of the way and they’d bonk each other on the head like a cartoon. They’re just silly guys. 9/10

Maria (Twelfth Night) Every woman clown could beat my ass. Audrey, Jaquenetta, Maria, they are all so special to me and would all also fucking destroy me. Maria especially cause I just know she is full of hate. You don’t hatch a plan like the Malvolio plan unless there’s something deeply worrying about you. She’s a Scorpio to me. <3 I do love her, she’d demolish me. 0/10

Feste (Twelfth Night) Would actually kill me. -5/10

I know I’ve definitely missed some but uhhh don’t expect me to remember every clown even if I’m neurodivergent about these plays please. <3

[xx-alice-in-wonderland-xx]

modern au!The Last Of Us headcanons 🖤🍟

(characters: Ellie, Dina, Abby, lev, Yara)

birthdays (the year being 2024)

Ellie - May 31st 2005, she’s 19 years old

Dina - February 8th 2003, she’s 21 years old

Abby - July 15th 2000, she’s 23 years old

Lev - October 31st 2010, he’s 13 years old

Yara - August 24th, 2007, she’s 16 years old

Full names:

Elizabeth ‘Ellie’ Ashley Williams

Dina Miriam Levi

Abigail ‘Abby’ Lee Anderson

Lev Quý Wu (hate to put this but it used to be Lily Quang Wu)

Yara Chún Wu

Now for headcanons:

Ellie plays electric guitar

Dina is a better chef than Gordon Ramsey

Abby becomes a doctor and owns a hospital

Lev is emo/alt

Yara loves Shakespeare plays

Ellie grew up in foster care

Dina was a straight A student

Abby plays basketball

Lev plays Tomb Raider lol

Yara lives for animal crossing

Ellie is good at voice acting

Dina once ate ketchup straight from the bottle for a dare

Abby hates the word froth

Lev has ptsd from a game of spin the bottle lol

Yara is the overprotective older sister that always makes Lev text her where he is, every 30 mins

All 5 of them are best friends and live in the same neighbourhood

Ellie once gave Lev beer and got him hammered, let’s just say Abby never let her babysit lev ever again

Dina likes to travel

Abby adopted Lev after their mum kicked him out for being trans (She didn’t adopt Yara cause they’re best friends and Yaras old enough o look after herself)

Lev tried to get a vape off of someone and Yara caught him

Yara loves the beach

Ellie is the QUEEN of ‘that’s what she said’ jokes

Dina falls off the bed in her sleep because she rolls around

Abby has her nose pierced

Lev spoke in the tiktok language for 2 month straight when he went on it for the first time

Yara has a diary

Ellie taught JJ to swear (his first word was bitch)

Dina swears at Ellie in Hebrew and tells her she’s saying ‘I love you’ and shit 🤭

Abby once didn’t sleep for 2 days

Lev would listen to Nirvana thanks to Ellie

Yara is always cold

Ellie loves ALL the classic rock bands - Nirvana, Green Day, Foo Fighters, Rolling Stones, Black Sabbath, The Sex Pistols, Iron Maiden, AC/DC, etc

Dina listens to Coldplay and The Name Game from American Horror story (Dina, Dina, Dina, Bo, Bina, Banna Fanna, Fo Fina, Fe Fi Mo Mina, Dina!)

Abby won’t admit it, but she is a simp for Rihanna

Lev likes K-Pop lmao, his fav is TXT (he finds their songs relatable 😭)

Yara would like twice (thanks to lev lol)

Ellies lesbian

Dinas bisexual

Abby says she straight but questioning

Levs pansexual

Yaras straight

Ellie would have a twilight phase, and would be team Jacob, but then she hated it lmao

Dina is dyslexic

Abby takes Lev trick or treating on his birthday

Lev watches hearstopper

Yara watches Karen freak out videos

Ellie is so FUCKING picky when it comes to food

Dina always gets headaches

Abby has 2 beers a day

Lev goes on character ai

Yara likes to hide under Levs bed and grab his shoes to scare him (I do this to my siblings and they hate me lmao)

Ellie writes cheesy love songs for Dina

Dina and Ellie have matching tattoos

Abby rarely has her hair down

Lev plays the sims 4 lol

Yara is always tired for some reason

Ellie has 15 bottle of lucozade a day

Dina always has a cup of tea

Abby eats raw onions

Lev thinks he’s hard because he vapes and drinks monster lol

Yara doesn’t know half of the mischief Lev gets up to when she or Abby isn’t there

How I think they look irl (I found these on Google okay don’t judge me credit to the actual ppl)

Ellie:

Dina:

Abby:

Lev (I love Ian Alexander so fucking much LOOK AT THEM):

Yara:

[gigidragonbbxxx]

a personal struggle + an education

this is all just gigi's opinions + thoughts

Reader, I'm struggling with empathy right now.

Don't worry, I'm not suffering from a personality pathology, I promise I am quite sympathetic and empathetic. It's just battling the feeling of wanting to be kind but also seeing a major problem and knowing I need to get it off my chest.

Let me give it to yall straight (with tweaked/paraphrased details to protect privacy and not to out anyone):

I saw a favorite loass coach/twt account/subliminal creator make fun of an "old timey" English sentence either from Neville Goddard or Edward Art. They proceeded to say that they "hate" it and "why can't they just say it simpler". and then someone else commented "they're talking bullshit fr".

The convo thread on twt devolved into an echo chamber that essentially boiled down to the old fool's adage "If I don't understand it, it must be stupid and not worth it."

This really triggered me because

The phrase quoted was not that hard to understand.

It was clear these women were not educated

Why am I judging or mad at people for their ignorance? (this is why I kept quiet on twt and went here to vent. I acknowledge that two things can be true, I can be kind and still be honest.)

I was and currently am still wrestling with these things within me.

On one hand I don't want to judge. I want to be inclusive and welcoming and supportive.

On the other hand - yall don't look educated, yall wind up looking dumb.

I'll say a harsh truth yall and you can go argue with a damn wall but I know I'm right: stupidity is not cute.

My Hot Take (not so hot when you think about it)

The Law of Assumption rewards those who feed their mind with knowledge

Before you argue with me, think about it. Seriously.

I don't want to seem ableist if someone suffers from dyslexia or if someone struggles in school. It's totally okay to have different paths to learning. The importance is still obtaining the information. You can read or listen to the audiobook, etc. The paths to knowledge are varied but in the end the result is the same - THE KNOWING.

The "old timey" sentence that the creator complained about COULD BE READ BY NINTH GRADERS BECAUSE OF SHAKESPEARE EXPOSURE.

That's why I was exasperated. They were complaining about English (the only language in which they are fluent) that is regularly taught to 14 year olds.

Guys. Stand up. Please stand the fuck up.

Who in this world is gonna take you seriously without BASIC COMPETENCY in literature or math?

Lemme roast some of yall if you want to disagree:

Yall wanna be master manifesters and claim to understand the double slit experiment but can't even name the fundamental laws of science or explain them.

Yall wanna be successful in your businesses and don't know how to calculate your profits.

Yall wanna be seen as intellectuals who "understand" more than the majority of the population and yall can't even fucking read Descartes or Shakespeare.

Yall wanna be content creators and don't know how to proofread.

One time I bought an affirmation tape that came with a pdf with all the affirmations listed. The tape itself was excellent but the pdf was riddled with errors! It makes me sad because something that can help change your life, like a sleep tape to saturate, "cheapens" in its authenticity at the price of minor errors. Sigh.

Let me tell you that 100% you can be successful in this world just by going to the end and claiming it.

BUT YOU LOSE A LOT OF TREASURE BY NOT GIVING YOURSELF THE TOOLS TO DIG FOR IT.

THERE IS SO MUCH FOUNDATIONAL INFORMATION WITHIN THESE "OLD TIMEY" TEXTS.

and if you don't like any of it and just wanna watch sammy ingram and manifest like that THEN GO AHEAD BUT DONT CLAIM TO NOT UNDERSTAND A SENTENCE AND THEN CALL IT BULLSHIT.

just be honest and own it!

be honest that you don't wanna read, that you don't wanna be academic and that's 100% okay and you're still beautiful and worth everything but

do not put down the value of what is being said just because you don't understand it

That's why I am frustrated, reader.

I am educated enough to recognize when someone's ignorance is just that - ignorance.

But I am human enough to be annoyed.

So please give yourselves some grace and take the time to appreciate knowledge. Without the knowledge of the law of assumption, we wouldn't all be here interacting with one another.

xx, gigi

p.s. for those of you who are more familiar with reading the Bible via the law of assumption lens - I beg you to think of Solomon. He was asked by God what he would like and Solomon chose wisdom over material things. Why is that? Because through wisdom comes the ability to know how to obtain all one's desires. Food for thought.

[moth-eats-paper]

UPDATEEEEE

I've made it to season four so here's an updated log of the Magnus archives thingy mubob (this contains spoilers :3.)

Oh the pig no no like you sir

Oh god I guess this pig is a weird thing

THE CIRCUS?

Oh god not more circuses

Oh dear I think the pig has decided to eat clowns now

Oh self cannibalism

Whelp the pig ate someone

Loud sound

The eyes doing it's thing

JOHN DOING THE THING WITH THE EYE

Tim keeps scaring people

Tims not ok

OMG TIM STATEMENT

Tims brother went missing

I don't think it's Tim's brother

Whelp he's gone

Oh clowns know

OH DEAR CLOWNS

I don't think that's your brother Tim

Oh blood

Oh dead clown

Oh no more skin .

Oh famous clown

Tim and Elias drama

Oh we're in China

Oh creepy opening

I wonder. Is this in Chinese? I know that the eye can allow you to read other languages in order to obtain more knowledge. Even if you never spoke that language or were able to read it you just suddenly are able to.

Oh screams

Nevermind I'm pretty sure it's in English cause it seems the person writing it is a British soldier

Does he have the black plague?

OH DEAD BODYS IN THE WATER

Oh-

This is a sad man

“True and total war”

GOD DAMMIT NO CIRCUS

HE CAN READ MANDARIN AND AND CHINESE NOW (cause of the eye)

IT WAS FROM 2004 NOT 2014

Oh the proper one's are in America

Space station time

I wonder if this is the same space station as the one Gertrude read

I think she kept talking about it in one of the statements well more specifically the guy who it is from

We love Melanie (even though she keeps trying to kill Elias but she has a good reason)

FAIRCHILD IS BACK

IT IS THE SAME SPACESHIP BUT JUST A DIFFERENT GUY

Because the one Gertrude read was the isolation guy. This is about the other two people who were on the ship

Oh god the space weird space hands are back I think

Oh blood

Oh he's bleeding

Oh god he's just going to let himself die

Old screaming things

Don't envy the isolation guy he had a really shit time

Whelp now he's in limbo space

OH SOMETHING'S BLOCKING THE STARS

Oh deep thoughts

Melanie is thinking deep

She's skeptical of stuff

Oh dear

IS HE STUCK IN SPACE

Viscera I think is how to pronounce her name?

MARTIN HAS A CRUSH ON JOHN?

Viscera and Melanie are gossiping and I'm here for it

Oh performance review

OH GOD ELIAS

JESUS CHRIST ELIAS STOP LEAVE POOR MELIAINE ALONE

WHAT DID HE DIE OF

WHY DID YOU GIVE HER THE KNOWLEDGE OF HIM DYING

THAT'S TERRIFYING

He can just make her watch her dad's death!

I want texas toast I'm going to go make some

JOHNS IN AMERICA

Whelp he's being followed by a police officer

And Jared's “death”

GERTRUD WAS ARRESTED FOR BREAKING INTO A MORGUE

He just has to read statements to make him feel better

A screaming oven lovely

OH THERE'S A FIRE

OH A TRAINS ON FIRE

What do you mean you'd burn them?

John is better!

OH SHIT IT'S THE POLICE

WHAT IS THAT ACCENT

OH MY GOD ITS THE VAMPIRE HUNTER

YIPPEE MARTIN

I fucking hate Shakespeare

Lovely more masks

Poor Tim

And Melanie

AWW

OH SHIT

SOMETHINGS HAPPENING

PETER LUCAS IS BACK

Lucas seams so silly

Viscera gets really excited about her reading and I love that about her

Mmm more statements

I'm pretty sure John just asked for a statement because he was starting to feel sick lol

MORE VAMPIRES (I think) YIPPEE

His accent is kinda hard to understand

BODYS IN BOX

Spoopy people

Love how she calls the vampire hunter old man

Oh bodys on table

Silent screamers

OH WATER

Staby stab

Oh she killed him

OH SPOOKY THING

HAHAH DOLL THING (why is his voice kinda-)

More Marten :3

This girl sounds like an asshole

THIS PERSONS TRANS TDZSDHUGDZ

That is a long ass name

“Spiders are eating” PFF

Oh don't walk into people's jaws

Mmm Japanese spider movies

YOU HAD TO TRY AND CONVINCE YOURSELF HE ONLY HAD TWO ARMS

Oh spoopy

Oh they found A Way to distract Elias

A leitner?

JARED

Jared is cool

Jared's mom was an ass

Hmmm more things to kill and torture everyone

I keep forgetting meat is in this

Jared is so sad

MURDER

YIPPEE VISCERA

We're back in America and they found a bomb and the taxidermy or what's left of it

John and Tim drama

YIPPEE TIM A JOHN ARE OK

Oh tunnels

Bomb time

The meats back

LITENER

No more arm

And now he's in the water

PFFF

HELEN

Aww

YIPPEE SPOOPY

Meeting timeee

Gurtrud tape time

Wolfgang?

Puppets?

I think this is from a older time in europe because of the writing and how it is worded

DON'T GO

Mmm more robotic things

OH GOD A STAGE

Mmm birbs

BLOOD

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CURL YOUR LEGS INTO A FIST

Funsies

Oh he's being protective of martennnnn

PLANS

SECRET PLANSSS

JOHN STATEMENT HDHJDGKDVJHK

Awww john

ITS LIGHTENERS

Melines to relatable

MELANIE STATEMENT

MARTIN NFSUSSTUDIY

TIMM

Aww goodbye Jarey

mmm masquerade

MARTIN!!

“sorry Elias I can't hear you there's a DOOR in the way” I love marten

Hehehe bomb

Oh god marten don't die

OH GOD THAT'S NOT WAX WORK

MARTIN NO

ELIAS FUCK YOU

Uh oh

SILLY MUSIC

WHAT'S HAPPENING

Mmm nothing is everything and everything is something

God what is happening

EYE THINGGGG

TIMMM

TIM SET OFF THE BOOM

Oh

What the fuck is this

He's not responseuve

Oh eye always watching

ELIAS STATEMENT?

(I'm listening to this for a second time)

Hehehe sad man

Oh

Oh dear

THE ELBOWS DON'T WORK

The sky?

Oh

OH

Ma ma that's not edible

I don't want the box to sing

NOT THE COFFIN

Oh tunnel

Hmmm blood

TRAIN TIME

Hmmm watching

WHERE'D SHE GO

Oh dig

DOOR

Ants?

Oh

He screams

Who are we watching?

MARTIN

What

ARE TIM AND DAISY DEAD?

Bye Eliasss

PFFFF

OH

Lucassss

YIPPEE PETER

NO TIM AND DAISY ARE DEAD

Season 4 babyyy

Oh

Poor marten

This is so sad

Oh

WHAT

WHAT DO YOU MORE GOODBYE

First actual episode of season 4 :3

Oh?

WHO IS THIS

WHAT

WHERE

YOU SAW JOHN IN A DREAM?

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU

Oh statement

He sees how people die funnn

“What am I?” I ask that often

Oh

OH

Ship into the middle of nowhereeeee

MEMENTO THING

Snakes?

Oh

Nevermind it's death

Why ya calm

Oh

Did you accidentally kill a bunch of people

Nope

YOU GOT A GUN?

YOU KILLED THE CAPTAIN!????

oh

OH GOD YOU KILLED EVERYONE

This is this Oliver guy

SPIDERS

Oh

That's funnn

Oh boy

Melanie (I think it's her)might have scared him off

Oh

OH

JOHNS AWAKE?

Zombieeee

I keep sending the homophobic vase because I can

oh no it was gorge

AND VISCERA

Magic tape?

JOHN!

HIII JOHN

oh

6 MONTHS

He's very confused and I can see why

Hehehe eye thing

Statement timeeee

YOU CUT SOMEBODY'S HANDS?

I think this dudes on something

Maybe

Idk any more everything is odd

YOUR BEING FOLLOWED MX STATEMENT PERSON

Oh

This person's a little silly

Awww I love John

Even though he keeps making have deep thoughts

THEY CAN'T FIND DAISY'S BODY?

Oh oh god marten are you okay buddy

Oh

Aww

He miss his boyfriend (I'm desperately waiting for them to get together)

W E B yippee

Oh god meline she's very traumatized

Oh

Oh that hurt

OH MY GOD THEY'RE GETTING ATTACKED BY THINGS

(Not at the moment)

I think everyone's losing it

HE JUST CALLED HIMSELF THE ARCHIVIST NOT “Johnathan Sims head archivist” JUST THE FUCKING ARCHIVEST

EVERYONE IS EITHER DEAD, PART OF SOMETHING, FUCKING LOOSING IT OR ALL THREE.

[kaz-rizzveld]

I just wanted to put in my 2 cents with season 4 of The Umbrella Academy.

Disclaimer: no hate please, this is my opinion!

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Starting off with the ending.

So what the actual fuck. One time I saw someone say back before the season came out that they did in fact think the show should end with all the siblings dying together and realizing there’s nothing they could do and someone else replied how weak that thinking is and I completely agree. (I believe the person who explained how that was weak was "mortal-song" here on tumblr, btw)

Anyway, if the show creators thought of this choice as another “tragic ending” that should have been written or a lesson that things don’t always end well, I get it from a standpoint of someone who thinks all outcomes should be portrayed in media, I just don’t agree that it was the right direction for this show. It’s literally become nothing more than a trend and people thinking they’re quirky and different by ending things badly with a handful of unexplained plot holes because they think they’re Shakespeare. I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you’re not. 

I also understand the idea that this is not a kids show and deep and sophisticated plot lines will be explored, so there should be no problem ending the show this way, right? Wrong again. I’m sick of the idea that because this show is for adults, that we can, and should, give it a tragic ending to communicate that things don’t always end well, no matter how hard you try and that’s such a dangerous message. I’ve also seen people talk about how the show is about coming together as a family and working through childhood trauma as now grown ass adults and that the final conclusions the characters came to is that “we’re the problem and we should give up and die.” This the complete wrong message on so many levels. The devolution of these complex characters and unnecessary romance storylines is so ridiculous (don’t even get me started on Five and Lila) and, quite frankly, insulting to the actors, but I’ll get into that in a minute.

My overall point is that the message and ending in general is absolutely WEAK. It’s rushed, sloppy, and weak. If we had to keep all of the other batshit crazy plot lines that don’t even make any sense, but ended the show differently, we could’ve ended the show with the characters allowing the world to end and them die because they believed that they would also make it to the next world, another motivating message that could’ve been explored, by the way. They could’ve ended out also alive and well in the fixed timeline, living their lives as regular people and healing together. Them literally dying and being erased from existence making the past three seasons pointless is just. Weak. 

Now onto the actors, especially Aidan because based on interviews, I feel like I relate to him and this is just what I feel I can speak to. !! Now I am not him, I do not know him, and I don’t know how he feels !! but if I played Five Hargreeves, if I grew as an actor playing such a complex character, and if I learned a lot about who I was and who the people around me were through my character and theirs, and then the writers completely changed who he is in so many ways, whether that’s selfishness, self pity, giving up, or being a complete home wrecker, I’d be quite upset. If I was in Aidan’s shoes, I’d be furious. That’s so insulting because he brought your character to life and explored a traumatic story for you and for viewers AND gave an absolutely amazing performance, and you go and do him like that…. That’s honestly just so odd of you and I feel bad for him and his costars for being insulted like that. 

I could talk about Ritu as well because as an actress she watched her co-star and friend grow up, and then you go and make her have a romantic relationship with him. I know they’re actors and it’s their job but that’s literally so odd. This mainly, but also other aspects of her character that I feel was completely different to who she was as a person in the last two seasons, is also very insulting to Ritu. Like just wow.

Some other smaller examples for the other actors:

It’s insulting to Tom that you reduced his character to a literal stripper and over the top golden retriever after he progressed and grew.

It’s insulting to David that you reduced his character to a “father” who isn’t doing his job well and in a highly broken marriage. Not to mention he was against the Lila and Five plot and you went and did it anyway.

It’s insulting to Emmy that she didn’t get to build on and explore a real or complex relationship with the people her character sacrificed everything for in the first place.

It’s insulting to Robert that you developed his character to someone sober and more mature, just to strip it away and reduce him back to season 1 him- someone the others can’t trust or take seriously, whether he’s drinking or a germaphobe, just for giggles. It wasn't funny by the way.

It’s insulting to Aidan that you reduced his character to a blind and selfish boy who betrayed his own brother and gave up on his family when that's literally the opposite of his character.

It’s insulting to Justin that you reduced his character to the monster he was afraid of becoming since the beginning and probably gave him false hope about being able to share a powerful message this season since he was supposed to be the focus.

It’s insulting to Elliot that though he was able to explore his character as a grown individual who stands up for himself to his father, that it was all for nothing, meant nothing in the long run.

It’s insulting to Ritu that her character development also meant nothing and her character was reduced to a messy adulterer and questionable mother.

It’s a bad and weak message to the audience and it’s a bad and weak message to the actors and it’s insulting to them that they had to communicate said message after all of this.

[gilmores-glorious-blog]

okay okay okay so i just watched the pbs great performances hamlet and it was. SO GOOD. oh my god. here are my many, many thoughts:

- the singing starting the show is fucking amazing

- the opening funeral scene and then the transition to the wedding goes so hard

- ophelia’s song having lines from hamlet’s letters to her .. …

- this polonius casting is GOD TIER like yeah. that’s what he looks like. that’s correct.

- i don’t like that they cut the opening ghost scene :/

- omg this horatio <33 i love him sm

- horatio’s black nail polish is everything to me

- ophelia is so hot oh my god

- i love a production that plays up the sibling dynamic between ophelia and laertes

- on that note, ophelia and laertes making fun of polonious is always so fun

- the modern aspects with masks and stuff are so interesting

- the ghost possessing hamlet???? oh my god i’m obsessed why have i never seen that done before

- the actor rolling his eyes back so that you only see the whites of his eyes while he’s possessed is so fucking cool

- i love productions that have hamlet cut his hand on his sword idk why i just do

- also horatio not even hesitating to cut his own hand? i’m insane

- ah fuck,,,, hamlet and horatio grasping each others bloody hands… horatio clasping hamlet’s hand with both his hands,, i’m unwell 😭

- gertrude and claudius being super horny for each other always makes me so uncomfortable

- these ros and guil costumes are great

- big fan of productions that make claudius be super charismatic it’s always such an interesting choice

- god this polonious is so good, he’s so fucking funny

- i love hamlet’s rings <3

- hamlet taking a selfie with the stacie abrams poster is crazy

- hamlet’s personalized handshakes with ros and guil are so cute

- it’s interesting that it’s fully set in america and that all the lines referencing denmark were cut out/changed

- i’m trying to figure out what hamlet was reading but i can’t and it’s driving me crazy 😩

- hamlet smacking polonious on the ass was crazy

- god i love a production that leans into the comedic aspects of this play,, it may be shakespeare’s most famous tragedy but it’s also funny as fuck sometimes

- the incorporation of singing/rapping throughout the show is so good

- also polonious as the one white guy in the room being like. ‘erm actually i don’t like the rapping 🤓☝️’ ,,, stfu man

- i need to know who wrote the lyrics for these songs bc they’re so good and they incorporate the original text so well

- fucking hell man,, his to be or not to be was amazing

- the “where’s your father” moment was so good

- oh my god horatio’s costume change,, the pink suit,,, i love him :’)

- i wish productions didn’t cut down the passions slave speech as much as they tend to do :/

- god ophelia’s dress is GORGEOUS

- polonious being the only one wearing a mask was wild but also so real (as someone who has often been the only person masked in a room)

- god this claudius is really good i appreciate the depth he brings to the role

- hmm interesting place for an intermission idk how i feel about this

- polonious in comfy clothing,, rest in peace peepaw 😭🫡

- polonious’ body lying on the bed during the entire closet scene is so fucked

- sometimes i wish i didn’t know this play so well so i could watch adaptions without noticing every single line they leave out,,,

- jfc,, hamlet wiping the blood off his knife onto the bedsheets,,,

- gertrude not hugging claudius back 👀

- claudius punching hamlet >:(

- idk how i feel about the decision to make ros and guil know about hamlet being sent to his death

- let’s be honest i’m mostly here for solea pfeiffer’s portrayal of ophelia’s madness

- the running makeup and the messy hair. YES.

- i hate that i have a certain melody to ophelia’s songs in my head so when i hear other versions with different melodies i’m like. hmm. incorrect.

- holy fuck she’s so incredible… the ophelia ever oh my god

- YESSSS INCLUSION OF THE HORATIO LETTER SCENE FUCK YEAH (i hate when adaptations don’t include this scene)

- horatio is reading the letter like omg pirates my boyfriend is so cool

- it’s always so funny to me that claudius and laertes make a plan, a backup plan, and a backup backup plan for killing hamlet and it still backfires and kills them both (i mean it does also work to kill hamlet. but still.)

- the portrait of king hamlet watching the entire show goes so hard

- this gravedigger is so amazing i’m obsessed

- ugh 😭 the singers singing the same song at ophelia’s funeral as at the king’s 😩

- oh FUCK ophelia coming out at her funeral.. the watery lighting… i’m going insane

- horatio holding hamlet and comforting him :(

- laertes apparently being able to see the ghost of ophelia makes him as a narrative foil to hamlet all the more juicy

- the eat a crocodile line is always so random lmao

- aw fuck…. laertes singing really got me… :(

- oh my GOD this osric is so fucking funny

- lmao osric beefing with horatio

- horatio in the background of the fencing match cheering on hamlet <3

- claudius standing and rubbing gertrude’s shoulders knowing she’s about to die :( this isn’t fair i’m not allowed to be emo about them

- hamlet offering laertes the sword and then laertes stabbing him with it,,,

- gertrude’s realization of what happened right before she dies was so good

- claudius cutting his own hand on the sword was a powerful choice

- it’s always funny to me when productions completely cut out the fortinbras plotline

- horatio catching hamlet as he falls :(

- horatio singing to hamlet after he dies… i am so incredibly unwell 😭😭

- THE GHOST WAS VOICED BY SAMUEL L. JACKSON?!?? crazy.

overall, amazing production. i loved the musical elements. definitely my favorite ophelia and polonius i’ve seen, possibly my favorite laertes and claudius as well. the hamlet/horatio relationship wasn’t quite as prominent as i would’ve liked it to be, but it was still really great, and i enjoyed analyzing all the little moments they did have.

[wisehearts]

I have recently been reading about self-insert characters to aid my own writing. I found this:

You can tell when someone is writing a self-insert because when you ask them what the flaw is they'll say something like "He's too perfect," or "She's too nice." Those aren't dramatic flaws, and they're not capable of driving a story forward. It needs to be a serious flaw that causes him or her massive problems and that he or she must need to solve by the end.

And it immediately made me think of like shakespeare or someone big and dramatic who obviously poured love into their stories but also wrote intense tragedies and all range of human emotions. and it got me thinking of will, who is often described by fandom as perfect or an angel or can do nothing wrong, and it always makes me do a silly little confused face. why do people want see will as perfect? he's lovely, sweet, and even his flaws get washed over or glamorised. but as a character his flaws are what make him not only interesting, but essential to drive this story forward, as the above said. i would say will's main flaws include his low self-esteem, his tendency to put others before himself at the wrong time, and perhaps his catty jealous streak.

but the interesting thing about flaws is that they change with context. jealousy isnt intrinsically bad, but human. and sometimes these qualities can be useful instead of damaging - will's selflessness can do wonderful things, but it can also do bad things. but thats the whole point of the nuance of the human experience! if will is perfect, he cannot grow and there is no story.

i think fandom does a strange thing which is to wash everything over in absolutes, making them black and white, which is also funny re: this show because it's trying so hard to tell you that there is no absolutes in real life. will is perfect and can do no wrong simply because a fan likes him! i see very few people admire will as human rather than angelic. mike on the other hand gets a lot of defenders who aim to justify his 'bad' behaviour, but why does it need justification? it's human. i cannot understand the need for people to be perfect. i love a real, rounded, flawed character - and they dont need to be a villain whose evil antics we admire either. just a normal person.

as relates to writing self-inserts, the author who does this undermines how much they need to make an audience care about the character as much as they do. ofc the author already cares; the character is basically them! but why should we, the audience, care?

Nodding along to this because I too love all parts and sides of will byers and mike wheeler.

I know I definitely talk about will as an angel and perfect etc, but it's very much cuteness aggression and exaggeration brought on by the love I have for him, not a blindness to the layers he has. I think it's the same case for many who say the same thing, but there are 100% the people you're talking about who - as happens often in this fandom - take the lighthearted jokes/comments and start to believe them, and now think will can't have flaws or else he'll be immediately hated on by people who don't like him.

I think the most silly, unimportant frustrating instances of it are the times people would vote on twt/tumblr polls where mike should so clearly be the winner, but will wins because "will can do no wrong!!! I believe mike is an idiot loser and so I don't believe he is capable!!!". Like I am begging you to let will fucking suck at something. because he does! and I love him or it! he is human!

^ that's more in canon traits than the actual personality traits you mentioned in your ask, but I feel it's in the same vein. I love his occasional cattiness, I understand his self-sacrificial nature and look forward to how that'll grow next season, etc. watching will byers finally choose to live is going to be amazing.

mike on the other hand I find full of his own layers. There are multiple ways people view mike, but two I find interesting are a) what you present here and how they're his flaws that make him interesting, and b) his behavior is due to grief/ptsd/his conflict with his sexuality and not his true self. I somehow think both are true at the same time lol? Like in times of hardship, this behavior is what he turns to and that is considered flawed or unregulated! Just like will's pulling away and suffering in silence (low self-esteem) can be worked through, but is valid as a flaw.

thanks for your thoughts, this was cool!

[youtastelike-sunlight]

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, and 25 for the tattoo asks! Thanks! 🤪✌️

Katey for the love of god just tell me you want a video call where I strip down and show off my ink 🤣

(Also, the number of times I checked this list absolutely convinced you would have skipped ONE for the lulz)

1. How many tattoos do you have?

Uh. Somewhere around 35-ish? There's been a lot of, like, building out on existing ones and making them cohesive, so it's really hard to say. 40-50 sessions in the chair, for sure.

2. What is your favourite tattoo you've gotten?

Stop asking pansexual ADHDers to pick favourites. Actually, speaking of, that joke on Dropout's Breaking News a few weeks ago about how Dropout fans are "pansexual nerds with drama mask tattoos and anxiety disorders" called me the fuck out, four for four baby, so maybe right now it's my drama masks with a Shakespeare quote 😅

3. What is the most meaningful tattoo you've gotten?

Any of the multiple memorial tattoos for deceased family members, or the matching tattoo I got with my spouse after our wedding

4. What is your dream tattoo?

I'm hoping to get something cool on my chest post-top surgery, but that's a long-ass way away yet.

5. What was the most painful tattoo?

I fully used numbing cream when I got my inner thigh tattooed, but I missed a spot. Ask me how I realised.

Also my knuckles, jfc. Fully cussed my tattoo guy out for that one, it was his idea to extend the design down to cover a couple of knuckles in the first place lmfao.

6. What was your first ever tattoo and how old were you when you got it?

My uncle's initials after he died when I was 17. I had this deal with my mum that I could get all the facial piercings I wanted, dye my hair all the batshit colours I wanted, as long as I didn't get a tattoo until I turned 18. And I'm grateful for that, because I wanted some tacky-ass shit at 15-16. But we negotiated for the one at 17, which there was little to no chance of me regretting.

7. What is your most recent tattoo?

An envelope with a piece of paper coming out of it that says "wish you were queer xo" for a flash day fundraiser for RainbowYOUTH.

8. What does your family think about your tattoos?

My mum is fucking petrified of needles, so her objection isn't to the permanent ink on my skin so much as willingly subjecting myself to being stabbed lmao. I hid them from my paternal grandparents until my wedding day and then said 'fuck it they can't yell at me today!' and they have never, ever mentioned them since. My maternal grandmother hated my first few, offered to pay to get them laser removed when I was at about 4 or 5, then begrudgingly acknowledged that some of them weren't terrible, and when she went into hospice in 2017 she gave me a list of the sorts of things she wanted included in her memorial tattoo 🤣

9. What meaning do your tattoos have?

Everything from very personal connections/memories/experiences in the memorial tattoos down to "I rolled three dice and got three words and the artist designed something based on that and slapped it on my body", and everything in between.

10. How many tattoos do you want?

As many as I have good ideas.

11. Where is the most painful place you've been tattooed?

Is this a different question to #5?

I will say - back of calf tattoos are surprisingly difficult. Not the MOST painful place, but probably the longest I've been really genuinely uncomfortable? (Though, again, sans numbing cream on my inner thigh this would be a VERY different convo)

12. Where is a place on your body that you will NEVER get tattooed?

I dunno... butthole? Eyeball?

I'm unlikely to do a face tattoo, but who knows, really.

13. What is a design you love on others but would never get for yourself?

I can't think of a specific design!

14. What is your favourite style of tattoo?

New School, for sure. Though I have a bit of nearly everything 🤣

15. Would you trust a friend to choose the design of your tattoo?

Depends on the friend. Katey, you will not be designing a Fiona/Dragon tattoo for me, soz.

16. What are some tattoo assumptions you think need to die?

That having ever gotten a tattoo in the past means you have a ton of disposable income now (the amount of "omg they're on a benefit but they have tattoos" I've heard from dipshits how the fuck do you think tattoos work?????), that it's not a valid and fucking impressive form of artwork.

17. Do you have one tattoo artist who does all of your art or a stand out tattoo artist? Hype them up!

These days I do! Only since I moved back to my current city in 2017, though, so a lot of my older stuff is by other artists. His name's Steve, he's a fucking delight, every day I'm in his chair is a fucking party. When my grandad died I just booked him out for the day and chatted to him about my grandad for the morning until inspo struck him and then he turned his iPad around with the loveliest design on it.

18. Is there any artist you would love to get work done by? Tell us about them!

There are lots of incredible artists out there, but I don't think I have, like, one bucket list person.

19. What is your worst tattoo experience?

I had an apprentice go too deep on my pansexual tattoo and I still have a bit of raised scar tissue there lmao

20. What has been your best tattoo experience?

Getting my grandmother's memorial tattoo designed and tattooed. Per #8 I went in with a bit of a chaotic list and what the artist put together was just fucking stunning. It's my whole upper arm and every single element of it has really personal meaning.

21. Do you have any matching tattoos with people?

Yep! My spouse and I got matching Doctor Who tattoos after our wedding. I'm a DW fan of old, got my spouse into the show after we got together, and we had a reference in our ceremony but without discussing it, we'd both put references in our individual vows as well lmao.

I also have a few like... standard tattoos, for lack of a better word? As well as a few flash sheet designs. So I definitely have matching tattoos with strangers 🤣

22. What is your opinion on face tattoos?

Follow your bliss, babes, but you know the society we live in and you're accepting the potential bullshit. (I have hand tattoos!! I'm not saying it's RIGHT I'm saying it IS.)

23. Do you think tattoos make people look less professional?

No, but I know people think they do. Where's that tweet about how tattoos make you perfect for corporate culture because it shows you can sit through the most painful bullshit and that's every corporate meeting ever?

24. Post a picture of your favourite tattoo.

It me, the Dropout fan.

25. Give us a tattoo tour!

Katey I will absolutely get booted off tumblr if I do that.

[tattoo asks... except katey's already asked them all so]

[artiststarme]

My Happy Fics

Here is my ever-growing list of humorous/fluff/happy fics. These should make you laugh and cry happy tears, ideally. Please leave your thoughts in the comments!

-"Get in the van, Steve."

A short, one shot fic about Steve getting accidentally kidnapped. No harm, no foul, am I right?

-"A Little Fruity"

A short, one shot fic about Eddie coming out to Uncle Wayne by accident. (Everything turns out fine).

-Ex-fucking-cuse You

Steve has a hard time vocalizing his thoughts and feelings. But all of that changes when Eddie enters his life. He makes him try and do better.

-It's Fucking Cold

Eddie loves traveling with Steve but the one thing that he can't get behind are the cold-ass hotel rooms.

-Wayne's Unspoken Shovel Talk

Wayne didn't think he needed to give Steve the shovel talk on behalf of his nephew. It was implied and he meant what he meant.

-Van Vandalism

When the people of Hawkins keep vandalizing Eddie's van after Spring Break, Steve takes matters into his own hands.

-A cute little addition/ending to the story (Part 2)

-Oblivious Eddie

Steve realizes that he's bi and immediately starts flirting with Eddie. Now if only Eddie could be more observant and start flirting back!

-Sunflowers

A soft fic about Eddie not thinking he's a good boyfriend and Steve not thinking he deserves Eddie but then they both realize that they're perfect for each other.

-Eddie Hates Drinking Water

Eddie doesn't hate a lot of things but he's never been able to get behind drinking water. Until Steve tricks him into liking it when they start dating.

-When Life Gives You Lemons...

Eddie has a unique way of dealing with anxiety but you know what they say, when life gives you lemons....

-... You Make Lemonade

Part 2 of the series where Eddie makes up his own idioms and accidentally comes out to Steve in a play on words.

-April Fool's

Just a short story on how I think Steve and Eddie would handle April Fool's Day. Chaos, Romance, and Misunderstandings, oh my!

-Intrusive Thoughts

Eddie is prone to voicing his intrusive thoughts and he accidentally gaslights Steve into thinking they're his when he doesn't remember. Cue panic, protective best friends, and name-calling!

-No Steves Allowed!

Eddie has one firm rule in Hellfire; Steve Harrington is not to be mentioned under any circumstances. It works until it doesn't.

-Steve Has a Minor Fear of Spiders

Everyone is afraid of something. It just so happens that Steve has a debilitating fear of spiders and Eddie has to find out the hard way.

-College is for me but only if it’s us

Eddie and Steve make plans to go to college together. The Party learns some surprising news.

-Strike!

Hopper goes to pick up Steve for a family bowling outing and gets more than he bargained for.

-Goddamn Wheelers!

Hopper is the biggest supporter of LGBT+ as long as it keeps the Wheeler family out of his life. Steve dating Eddie Munson? Fine. El breaking up with Mike Wheeler? Absolutely fantastic! Will dating Mike instead? WHY???

-A Date Gone Wrong

Eddie was never going to let Steve plan an outing for their date again. First hiking, now squirrels? Absolutely not.

-Utter Chaos

Steve would do anything to protect his Platonic with a capital P soulmate... Like outing himself to cover for her.

-Highway to Hell

Steve is a really bad driver in actuality and when Eddie tries to tell people, no one will believe him!

-A Sleepwalking Surprise

A sleepy Steve outs him and Eddie to the kids. Luckily for them, they escape the ensuing chaos.

-Interested or Not?

It takes Steve way longer to realize Eddie is into him than it should. Luckily for him, it all works out.

-Wayne Deserves Way More Credit

Wayne loves Steve for his nephew and he'll do his best to keep them together despite Eddie's stupid decisions.

-A Zoom Call Gone Wrong...

A modern Steddie AU where Eddie interrupts Steve's college course zoom call in the worst way possible.

-Shakespeare? Gay as Hell

The reason Eddie keeps failing English is because he keeps making his essays gay. Wayne approves and Mrs. O'Donnell definitely does not. Based on this post!

-Hellfire Adopts Steve

Hellfire adopts Steve in high school after the fall of King Steve.

-From Alibi to Reality

Steve acts as Eddie's alibi for the cops to clear his name. It only escalates from there.

-Happy Halloween!

Halloween of 1986 is the best day of Eddie Munson's life and he attributes most of that to Steve.

-Baby, it's cold outside

Eddie only likes Winter when he has Steve there to warm him up.

-Unnamed thus far

Will comes out to Steve and Steve just can't figure out why. Things become clearer with time.

[muffimtv]

tihesocyh

all of them except any youre uncomfy with i know its 40 pls

POEASE

what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?- my friends, my relationship with gender, and my art

show us a picture of your handwriting?

this is the closest i got

3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?- lego batman movie, hercules, jaws

what’s an inside joke you have with your family or friends?- @fuzziecorpse it’s shakespeare’s fucking fault

what made you start your blog?- i had a lot of friends on tumblr and needed somewhere to post art

what’s the best and worst part of being online/a creator?- best part is for sure just the fun of making content! worst is all the judgement i tend to get (especially being a furry)

what scares you the most and why?- abandonment, because i have anxiety

any reacquiring dreams?- not really

tell a story about your childhood- i LOVED the paris catacombs when i was a kid. i would SOB because my parents wouldn’t let me touch the skulls and when they made me leave

would you say you’re an emotional person?- oh yeah

what do you consider to be romance?- i have a bit of a weird relationship with romance! it’s very hard to describe where i draw the line

what’s some good advice you want to share?- uhhhh dont die?

what are you doing right now?- watcjing lego batman movie

what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?- jump into a pool from the balcony

what do you think of when you hear the word “home”?- my bedroom late at night or my partner

if you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?- i want to be more patient

name 3 things that make you happy- fandom, cats, art

do you believe in ghosts and/or aliens?- i think that it’s statistically unlikely we’re alone in the universe. as far as ghosts go i think they’re a neat concept but i don’t really believe in them

favourite thing about the day?- warm sun

favourite things about the night?- stars

are you a spiritual person?- not really?

say 3 things about someone you love- so so kind, so so silly, and makes me feel incredibly loved

say 3 things about someone you hate- homophobic cowboy piece of shit

what’s one thing you’re proud of yourself for?- being a good sibling

fave season and why?- autumn, it’s the perfect temperature and weather almost always (side note: it’s literally my namesake)

fave colour and why?- purple, it’s beautiful

any nicknames?- muffi/muffin

do you collect anything?- books, plushies, fabric

what do you do when you’re sad?- play sad music

what’s one thing that never fails to make you happy/happier?- my friends

are you messy or organised?- both. my space usually looks like a disaster but i know exactly where evrrything is

how many tabs do you have open right now?- uhhh 28

any hobbies?- all of the above (reading, drawing, sewing, bookbinding, making playlists)

any pet peeves?- that squeaky sound balloons make

do you trust easily?- yes

are you an open book or do you have walls up?- chronic oversharer 🙏🙏

share a secret- i don’t really keep any? see above LMAO

fave song at the moment?- save a horse (ride a cowboy)

youtuber you’ve been obsessed with and why?- film cooper rn, he’s funny as fuck

any bad habits?- picking at my lips AUFH

[maitaiwiththecorpses]

(Headcanoned) Spotify Playlists For All The Aru Shah Characters

had a stroke of inspiration while scrolling through @namesarehard123's blog, and armed with (probably expired) lemonade, I had at it.

Plant Stalking Skillz- playlist by spider_shah

Royals by Lorde

All You Had To Do Was Stay- Taylor Swift

Everybody Talks- Neon Trees

There Are Worse Things I Could Do- Grease

Interlude: I'm Not Angry Anymore- Paramore

Adhd- Truslow

Dead Girl Walking- Heathers

All The Single Ladies- Beyonce

Carnaval Del Barrio- In the Heights

Dandelions- Ruth B.

Gorgeous- Taylor Swift

Mr. Brightside- The Killers

History Hates Lovers- Oublaire

The Dumb Song- AJR

U Wished U Were This Emo- playlist by shadowfaxnotprinter

Lover- Taylor Swift

Yellow- Coldplay

Producer Man- Lyn Lapid

Boy Bi- Mad Tsai

Numb Little Bug- Em Beihold

Overwhelmed (Ryan Mack Remix)- Ryan Mack

Mad At Disney- Salem Ilese

Riptide- Vance Joy

Detached- Lyn Lapid

Cruel Summer- Taylor Swift

Until I Found Her (Em Beihold Vers.)- Stephen Sanchez

Dancing With Our Hands Tied- Taylor Swift

Still Into You- Paramore

Romantic Stylz- playlist by prince snekkyboi

Happier Than Ever- Billie Eilish

Come And Get your Love- Redbone

Bad Dream- Stellar

Dancing Queen- ABBA

Kiss Her You Fool- Kids That Fly

Don't Blame Me- Taylor Swift

Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go- Wham!

Here Comes The Sun- The Beatles

God, I Hate Shakespear- Something Rotten!

Therapy- Tick, Tick, Boom!

The World's Smallest Violin- AJR

Grace Kelly- MIKA

Freaks- Jordan Clarke

Times Are Hard For Dreamers- Amelie

Denim On Denim- playlist by eat-the-rich-and-good-biryani.

Sweater Weather- The Neighborhood

As It Was- Harry Styles

Gloria- The Lumineers

girls- girl in red

Teenager In Love- Neon Trees

Radio-Friendly Pop Song- Matt Fishel

Line Without A Hook- Ricky Montgomery

Turning Out- AJR

Take Me To Church- Hozier

Space Girl- Fraces Forever

Pink Triangle- Weezer

Jolene- Dolly Parton

Boy In The Bubble- Alec Benjamin

I Will Follow You Into The Dark- Death Cab For Cutie

Tear In My Heart- Twenty-One Pilots

Fuck Me (I Didn't Know How To Say)- Crawlers

Delicate- Taylor Swift

Bathe In Sanitizer, Elmo- playlist by YaKaMeLo

Someone You Like- The Girl and the Dreamcatcher

As The World Caves In- Matt Maltese

Fade To Black- Metallica

Wildest Dreams- Vitamin String Quartet Cover

In Case You Don't Live Forever- Ben Platt

The 30th- Billie Eilish

I Did Something Bad- Taylor Swift

Queen Of Kings- Alessandra

Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy- Queen

Enemy- Imagine Dragons

I Write Sins Not Tragedies- Panic! At The Disco

London Boy- Taylor Swift

Brain Damage- Pink Floyd

Hiding In Your Hands- Dear Evan Hansen Bonus Track

Uptown Girl- Billy Joel

The Man- Taylor Swift

Dismantle The Sus- playlist by here?AHHHHHH

Ordinary- Alli Grace

Dress- Taylor Swift

Stairway To Heaven- Led Zepplin

The Takeover, The Break's Over- Fall Out Boy

Wake Me Up When September Ends- Green Day

we fell in love in october- Girl In Red

Material Girl- Madonna

Green, Green Dress- Tick, Tick, Boom!

Warriors- She-Ra And the Princesses Of Power Theme Song

American Idiot- Green Day

You Need To Calm Down- Taylor Swift

Family Line- Conan Gray

We Didn't Start the Fire- Billy Joel and the Fall Out Boy cover

Question...?- Taylor Swift

Devil Doesn't Bargain- Alec Benjamin

Away We Go- Bad Suns

Misery Business- Paramore

pt. 2 coming... eventually. add in the tags any songs that I might have missed

[braveclementine]

An Attack and a Kiss

Warnings: None

Copyright: I do not own any Twilight characters or locations. I do own Davina Mikelson and Marcel. I also own the backstory for my OC. I do not condone any copying of this.

Davina P.O.V.

When I woke up in the morning, I was sure that everything had been a dream. Except that I was still laying in the clothes that I had worn last night.

Strange, how had Carlisle gotten me into the house? How had they even known which house was mine?

I felt a bit pleased that Carlisle hadn't undressed me. That showed he truly was a gentleman. I was lucky to have him.

I remembered what happened last night and when I stood up, I fell to the ground. Holy shit I was sore. I climbed out of my clothes, wobbling to the shower, washing my body, keeping my hair in a bun so it stayed dry. Stepping out of the shower, I noticed the bruises that decorated my legs. There were also two large bruises- one on each arm- where the guys hands had pressed down.

Looking out the window at the drizzle, I decided today was a long-sleeved day.

Stepping into the closet, I saw that all of my clothes were hung up, the shoes put on the shelf. The knee-high boots that had been ruined were no where to be seen- a new, unscathed pair sat there instead.

Well damn. I was going to have to thank Carlisle for doing this. I hated shopping and I hated putting clothes away.

I pulled on a pair of black jeans and a blue sweater, pulling on the heeled pumps. I curled my hair, letting most of it hang down my back while a few curls framed my face and down my front.

I grabbed my Hufflepuff backpack, making sure my Shakespeare essay was complete, and then went downstairs to find something to eat for breakfast.

Opening the refrigerator revealed the leftovers from last night, confirming that it wasn't a dream.

There was a sudden knock on the door. I quickly took out the carton of eggs, setting it on the counter before hurrying to the door, wondering who was there so early in the morning. Was Sam picking me up?

Opening the door revealed a very handsome doctor. I smiled easily before my eyes fell to his tie which was just a little crooked.

"Good morning Davina." He said in that oh so fucking sexy voice.

"Good morning Carlisle." I said, feeling elation as his name rolled off the tongue. I reached out, grabbing his tie so that I could straighten it. "Don't vampires have impeccable perfection?"

He chuckled lightly. "Usually. But I also had no idea what time you were leaving at so I wanted to get here and make sure you ate something."

I looked up at him and got caught in his- not quite gold eyes at the moment- more like buttercup, before pulling his tie a little so I could capture his lips with mine.

I had never really liked taking charge, but at that moment, his tie in my hand- the moment was to great to miss.

One hand settled on the small of my back, the other, fingers wrapped in my hair, pulling me to him.

His lips were cold, marble like, but they shaped around mine, capturing them. The kiss was intoxicating and I pressed into it as much as I could, trying to get more of him. His hair was soft and silky between my fingers and I finally pulled apart to get air.

As I caught my breath, unsure what to say, I said, "Would you like to come in?"

He chuckled, "Of course."

I stepped back, letting his tie go, heading for the kitchen, cheeks red. Oh dear, I really hoped he liked it.

I set about making eggs while he looked around the kitchen quietly.

"Thank you." I said quietly, knowing he'd hear me at whatever volume I spoke at.

"For what?" He truly sounded puzzled.

"Last night."

"Oh, you're welcome." He replied, a hard edge to his tone. I wondered if the men had woken up yet and what they would say happened as an excuse for his broken ankle and arm.

"So. . . what are we supposed to do now. . . is there like. . . a ritual or-"

"Edwards' right, you do read quite a bit, don't you?" Carlisle asked.

I blushed red. "Well, I have read a lot on mystical creatures and witches. And of course, people absolutely love making movies and TV shows about Vampires, werewolves, and witches so I'm just trying to figure things out."

"There's not really a ritual, no. We're just soulmates. I just want to ask you on dates and then marry you. Get to know you. Love you."

"Vampires can't have children, right?"

Carlisle seemed sad. "No, they can't. I mean, you have a choice. You can fall in love with someone else-"

"No thanks." I replied, finishing up the eggs, grabbing a plate and scooping them onto it. I quickly grabbed the shredded cheese in the refrigerator, dumping it on the eggs so it would melt and make a blanket. "Human guys are terrible. Besides, there are plenty of kids in the foster homes. We can always adopt."

I set the plate down on the counter with a fork, dancing around the kitchen to get a glass for milk and a lime.

I cut the lime up quickly, sliding three pieces onto my plate before putting the rest in a bowl and setting it back in the refrigerator.

"Lime?" Carlisle questioned.

"I like sour foods." I replied with a bit of a smile.

I ate quickly, barely noticing Carlisle this time, before going upstairs to brush my teeth. As I was coming downstairs, the front door banged open. I winced.

Sam was standing there, inhaling the air.

"Sam! Do you know how much it'll cost if I have to repair the wall because you slammed the door handle into it!" I exclaimed, pushing past him to yank the door back from the wall. The wood was hard, thank goodness, and there was barely a scratch.

"Who's here?" Sam growled.

"Carlisle." I spat, "Do you have a problem with that Mr. Magical Creature who doesn't trust me enough to tell me what he is?"

"It isn't about trust or else I would've told you on day one!" Sam spat back. "It's a law. I can't break the law."

I huffed. "I'll come see you after work alright? Go home."

"He's driving you to school now, is he?"

"Actually, this is the first day." I spat. "There was a problem in Port Angeles last night and he wanted to make sure I was okay."

"What problem?"

"Four guys. An alleyway. Don't worry, I beat up two of them. Carlisle got the other two."

"What the hell were you doing in Port Angeles by yourself! I told you if you needed to go shopping I would've taken you!"

"I was with friends! It was Bella and I! I told her to run alright! I can take care of myself Samuel."

I never called him Samuel and he fell quiet. I was truly pissed with him and he knew it. He turned sharply, leaving the way he'd come, slamming the door behind him.

"DON'T BREAK MY HOUSE!" I yelled after him, knowing he probably could've heard it if I'd whispered it.

I stormed to the kitchen where Carlisle had apparently done the dishes. My anger dissipated into surprise. "You do dishes?"

Carlisle chuckled, "There's quite a bit I can do."

"I could kiss you again." I sighed, grabbing my backpack.

In a flash, Carlisle was in front of me, his arms on either side of me, caging me between himself and the table. Passion stirred behind the yellow orbs that were his eyes as he bent closer to my lips. I closed my eyes, letting him press them to mine.

His arms encircled my body, pulling me against him, my head tilted upwards to keep in touch with the kiss. I dropped the bag, pulling him down against me as I wrapped my arms around his marble like neck.

"Are you feeling better now?" Carlisle asked softly against my lips as he pulled away a fraction of an inch.

"Much." I whispered. "I quite like kissing you." And with that, I pressed my lips to his again.

There was so much intensity in the third kiss, I was surprised he didn't break me in two. It was like the two of us couldn't be close enough, even though we were pressed together, our lips meshing together. His tongue flicked out, swiping my bottom lip and I parted my lips, letting his tongue in.

His tongue, despite the rest of his body, was a warm thing and so was his breath. It was a pleasing contrast to the cold of his lips. My fingers knotted in his hair, pulling me closer.

He smelled and tasted divine. If you could think of the most exotic, richest cologne, but on a small, delightful, fulfilling scale, not overpowering, just light enough that you wanted a bit more, that was what he smelled like. Like Jasmine and mint and herbs and just. . . words I didn't even know.

And if cologne could be a taste, once again- not overpowering or overbearing, but enough to make your blood boil and senses become shock sensitive, you had it.

Finally, I had to surface for air and I tried not to gasp as my lungs filled with air. He pulled me into an embrace and I could feel his chin lightly pressing on the top of my head. "Perhaps I was wrong." He murmured and I felt my heart start to beat faster in worry, "I think I already love you."

I flushed, my heart beating faster still. "I love you too."

And I did. I barely knew him and I loved him. I loved everything about him. Strange how it had gone from hate to love so fast. But I had the comforting sense that he wouldn't hurt me.

His arms tightened around me, holding me as close as possible. I could feel the cold radiating from his body, but there was also a warmth to it as well.

Eventually, he pulled away slowly and said, "Let me get you to school."

I smiled, picking up the backpack I'd dropped and said, "Lead the way Doc."

He opened the door and I followed behind him, turning to lock it while he warmed up the car. I climbed into the passenger seat of the small car, not bothering to put my seat belt on.

"No seat belt?" He asked, sounding amused while not putting his on either.

"You won't crash." I said confidently.

He smiled, reaching over and taking one of my hands to hold while he drove me to school.

"Do tell, why is a nineteen year old still taking high school classes?" He asked in curiosity.

"Ah, well, my dad was in the army. A colonel, to be precise. And we lived in Forks until I was eight and then we moved to one of the bases in Kentucky."

"Fort Knox?" He asked.

I tried so hard not to flinch and instead said, "Yes. I was mostly homeschooled and there were programs of course for army brats but I didn't get all the classes I needed as part of my junior year and most of my senior year were scattered with inconsistency. So when I moved out here, I wanted to finish my degree."

He nodded, "What's your favorite band?"

I chuckled at the random change, "Babymetal, The Beatles, and Imagine Dragons. But Tom MacDonald is my favorite artist."

"The Beatles and Imagine Dragons I'm familiar with. The others, not so much."

I giggled, "Yeah, I've never met a Babymetal or Tom MacDonald fan in real life."

"Favorite flowers?"

"Lilies and Magnolia Elizabeth flowers."

"Interesting." He murmured. "Animal?"

"Cheetah."

"Restaurant?"

"Panda Express or Applebees."

"Dessert?"

"Donuts."

"Gem?"

"Bloodstone or sapphire."

"Birthday?"

"April 7."

"Middle name."

I bit my lip, pursing my lips.

"That bad?" He questioned.

"It raises people's expectations." I muttered. "It's Hermione."

"Umm-"

"Right, you haven't read Harry Potter." I laughed a little. "Davina Hermione Michaelson. You can't get a more horrible name than that."

Actually, I liked my name, but every time someone heard 'Hermione' they immediately thought smart and I'm not really all that smart. Just average.

"It's starting to sound like I should read the series."

"You really should."

"Favorite book then?"

"Changes. Right now, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies."

"I think Alice was reading that."

"I let her borrow my copy."

"Interesting. What's wrong with the normal Pride and Prejudice?"

"There's no Zombies."

He full out laughed this time and it was such a deep wonderful sound that I wished I could make him laugh like that all the time so I could hear it.

"Favorite movie?"

"All the classic Disney Princess movies. The cartoon old-fashioned ones. I don't really like the new stuff they come out with."

He nodded. "Musical?"

"Hamilton."

"Er-"

"I swear if you ask me what Hamilton is we can't be together." I teased.

"Guess I'll have to watch that."

"We'll watch it together." I promised.

"TV show?"

"Bones or Vampire Diaries and following series. Which- I'm already having all the kids watch with me later so you can just join in on that." I added.

He chuckled again, pulling into the parking lot. "I'll pick you up after school."

"Thanks."

We stared at each other for a moment and I leaned in, kissing his cheek. "See you later Doc."

"See you later Davina."

I closed the door behind me and started to walk to my history classroom when suddenly, Alice and Jasper were standing beside me. I jumped. "Damnit."

Alice gave off a tinkling laugh, "So? What news? How was Carlisle?"

I blushed, "It's not like we did anything."

"But you kissed!"

"Yes but-"

"So? Who started it?" Alice chirped excitedly.

I laughed, "I did. I didn't mean to, his tie was just a little crooked and I fixed it and then- I just kissed him."

Alice clapped her hands excitedly as though it had all been her plan. I stopped walking and looked at her with a smirk, "Did you tell him to leave his tie crooked?"

Alice grinned, "Maybe. Oh, by the way." She dug in her bag and brought out my book, "The entire family read it."

"You only had it for like. . . four days."

"We don't sleep and we decided we had nothing better to do." Alice chirped.

"Did you like it?" I asked.

"Emmett did." Jasper answered. "I enjoyed it as well. Rosalie didn't and Edward is conflicted. Aunt Esme was a bit disgusted but said it was enjoyable."

"Alice?" I questioned, shooting Jasper a grin.

"Conflicted like Edward." Alice replied. "We had an argument over it. It was very good."

I giggled as we walked into class. And though Alice kept chattering, I couldn't pay attention to any of it- I was looking forward to work way to much.

Carlisle P.O.V.

I couldn't concentrate on my work. Davina kept popping into my mind at the most inconvenient times. Her soft, warm, blood-filled lips on mine. Her exquisite taste of not just her lips, but the inside of her mouth which I had explored as in depth as I could.

I could feel the bulge growing against my pants and I groaned. Of all the things!

I sighed, putting my pen down. I had to pick her up from school anyways. That was when I got a knock on the door.

"Come in." I called, sitting back down.

Davina opened the door. I blinked. "Davina-"

"Edward drove me. It was on the way to Bella's home. Gym was canceled today."

"Oh." I replied. "Very well, come in."

She closed the door behind her and headed over to the cabinet where I kept the things I needed her to do. There was a lot more in there than there usually was as I hadn't gotten anything done today.

"You only need to take half of that." I said quickly.

She took all the folders. "It's fine, I don't mind. Do you mind if I work in here today?"

I wasn't going to get anything done today. "Of course not."

She settled down on the couch, picking up the first folder and got to work. I stared at her for a few minutes as she fell into the work zone, becoming relaxed and completely focused on the papers in front of her. Occasionally, biting her bottom lip and making me feel crazy. I wondered if she knew the effect she had on me.

She was less vocal with her work when she worked in here, probably because she didn't want to distract me. Finally, I tore my eyes from her to focus on my work.

Today had been a slow day. All of the physical appointments had been taken care of and now it was just paper work unless there was an emergency, which there almost never was.

A few hours later, Davina was replacing the folders.

"You're done already?" I asked in surprise.

She smiled at me. "Yep!"

She closed the cabinet, padding over carefully to throw her arms around my shoulders. I relaxed into her embrace as she kissed the top of my head.

"You work so hard." She murmured softly, her hands moving upwards to start caressing my shoulders. "Can Vampires feel massages?"

I chuckled. "Yes."

I completely gave up on work as 'The Lord' purred contently inside of me. Her hands working wonders on my shoulders, her lips placing light, feathery kisses along my jaw and neck. I groaned lightly at her touch and work, closing my eyes. This was the closest I could get to resting and I was savoring it.

"Carlisle" She murmured in my ear as she worked lower on my back.

I was now fighting an internal battle: Myself vs. Lord. Be myself, or be a complete sexual bastard. The fight shouldn't have been so hard, but it was.

Her hands shifted, her fingers turning on my shoulder as she came around in front. "Are you alright?"

She took my face in her hands and I leaned into her touch. "I love you." I murmured.

"And I love you." She whispered back and then her warmth settled on my lap, both legs on one side of my chair. She rested her head on my collarbone, stroking my cheekbone with one hand. I opened my eyes, looking down on her lovingly.

She sighed unhappily. "I do need to go see Sam though."

I sighed as well, reaching out to free her hair from behind her ear, making it fall in front of her eyes. She giggled, reaching up and kissing my lower jaw. I held her in my arms for as long as possible before I finally said, "If you must."

"Will you come over tonight?" She asked curiously.

"I will."

She smiled, slowly getting to her feet. She swooped down, placing a light kiss on my lips. "See you later then Carlisle."

The things she did to me when she said my name like that.

"See you soon love." I murmured.

Davina P.O.V.

I was ecstatic was I made my way back home- Jasper picking me up- before getting dressed in a Hufflepuff sweatshirt and a pair of blue jeans. I took the motorcycle to La Push.

I sighed as I parked in front of Emily's house, knocking on the door. Emily opened it after a few minutes. "Sam's not here."

"Oh, do you know when he'll be back? I. . . I need to apologize to him." I replied softly.

"Maybe in an hour? I don't know exactly." Emily said.

I nodded, "Okay, thanks. I'll just take a walk and come back later."

Emily nodded, "If he stops by, I'll let him know you came by."

"Thanks."

I set off almost into the backyard. I kind've wanted to go to the ocean, but I didn't really want to go far from Emily's house either.

I wandered the woods, following an indistinct path. I was mostly looking down at the grass, so sure I'd step on a snake or something. I did that once as a kid. It was a harmless garden snake, but I screamed so loudly Sam had been startled and fallen out of the tree he'd been climbing to come to my rescue.

I smiled fondly at the memory, wondering if I could find the same spot. But that would mean going back to Emily's house and trying to find Sam's house again. I wasn't sure I remembered the address.

At that moment, there was a wolf howl in the forest. It actually sounded very close to me and I froze. It was to close for comfort which meant it was nearby. Would Sam recognize me in wolf form? Or would he try to attack me?

Sure that Emily probably knew Sam was a werewolf, I turned and started sprinting back to Emily's house. My heart was pounding, my breath heavy, the adrenaline shooting through my veins.

I didn't hear the padding of wolves paws until I heard the growl. Emily's house was nearby, I could see the glint of windows through the trees. That's when I turned, seeing the shadow that was over my head.

The giant wolf was headed towards me, spit flying from its' jaws. I screamed. Louder than the garden snake. Louder than when the bombs went off. Louder when I saw my parents dead bodies and realized what I had done. I screamed until my lungs gave out, the wolf slamming into me, it's claws digging into my skin.

I threw my hands up, panic clouding my senses as though it would stop the wolf from ripping my head off. And then the weight was gone, tossed off. I peeked through my fingers and saw a pitch black wolf standing above me.

"S-Sam?" I questioned- and then I fainted.

--------------

"Davina? Dav? Beloved?"

I shot upwards and the three boys and one girl jumped back.

"Ow." I muttered, clenching my head at the sudden headache.

"Are you alright?" Sam's normally dark complexion seemed lighter, almost pale.

"That was my favorite sweatshirt." I muttered, looking down at the claw marks that had ripped through it. "Dammit Paul."

"Maybe it was Jared." Paul said through clenched teeth.

"Somehow, I don't think so." I jabbed, moving to swing my legs over the table I was situated upon and gritted my own teeth in pain. "The hell did you attack me for?"

"You have vampire scent all over you." Paul muttered, "It's not my fault."

"Guess I should've taken a shower before I came down." I shot at him.

"Yeah, you should've."

"Enough!" Sam shouted. "Davina, are you alright?"

"I'm fine. Emily, do you have antiseptic?"

"Yeah." Emily said quietly, moving towards the doorway, disappearing from view.

"I am sorry." I muttered indignantly. "I didn't know dating a vampire put a target on my back."

"You're dating him now?" Sam asked through clenched teeth.

"Well apparently he's my soulmate and he makes me happy. Deal with it wolfy." I shot back.

"Here." Emily came back with antiseptic, cotton swabs, and band-aids.

"Thanks Emily." I said, taking the things from her, lifting my shirt over my head. Immediately, the three boys whipped their heads away from me. I snorted.

The claw marks weren't deep and I cleaned them easily, bandaging them quickly before slipping my shirt back on. I had noticed that my claw marks, though much more shallow than Emily's, matched. I exchanged a look at her and she motioned carefully to Sam's back. I nodded in understanding and mouthed 'accident?' She nodded again.

I gave Sam's back a pitying look. I could only imagine how he felt looking at her.

I broke the silence, "By the way Paul, you owe me a new sweatshirt."

Jared snorted. Paul glared.

"Does anyone have my phone?" I asked.

Sam handed it to me.

I dialed Carlisle's number and walked to the other room.

"Hey love."

"Hi Carlisle."

"Did something happen at Sam's?"

"Well, I thought I should tell you ahead of time that they may have mistaken my scent for you."

"Are you hurt?"

"Erm- well- the scratches aren't deep but I thought I should warn you now instead of later so you- or more specifically Lord- does anything rash."

There was silence on the phone.

"Carlisle?"

"I'm going to rip that dog's head off-"

"Lord, they didn't mean it. Let Carlisle take back over, okay? Please?"

More silence and then finally Carlisle's more normal voice said, "Will you come home soon?"

"I'll text you when I'm on my way." I promised.

"What do you want for dinner?"

"Don't worry about it, I'll cook."

"Well, alright." Carlisle said hesitantly.

"Have fun at work."

"I'll try."

"I love you."

"I love you more."

I smiled and then turned off the phone, walking back into the room. Sam had his face in a scowl, his arms around Emily's shoulders.

"Right so, can you check my face next time Paul?" I asked with raised eyebrows.

"Stop picking on me." Paul growled.

I smirked.

"Davina, I did tell you not to goad Paul to much." Sam warned, pressing his lips into Emily's neck.

"Right, anger issues. So. . . would you like to explain things to me now?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"Right, we're werewolves." Jared replied.

"No shit." I rolled my eyes. "And I've also gathered you don't need a full moon to shift. How about the details I don't know."

"We phase on will or if we get angry enough." Sam muttered. "We heal fast if we get hurt, we can kill vampires, a sign of our curse is being extremely tall and hot-"

"Actually you're quite ugly." I interjected.

Jared laughed, "Can we keep her?"

Sam threw him an ugly look, "Knock if off Jared. As I was saying, we're basically protectors and also we imprint. It's like having a soulmate. We couldn't move on if we wanted to, but we don't want to because, well obviously they're out soulmates."

"And we have extremely large appetites. Do you have good recipes?" Jared asked eagerly.

"I don't know." I said, raising an eyebrow. "Do you like Stew or Chili?"

Jared shrugged, "Probably."

I rolled my eyes.

"I didn't tell you, not because I didn't trust you, but because it's against the pack law." Sam murmured.

"It's okay, I figured it out on my own." I muttered.

"You already knew before you came here?" Sam asked.

"I figured it out days ago."

"How?"

"Vampire Diaries. The enemy of the Vampires is either witches or werewolves and you're really not pretty enough to be a witch so a werewolf was the more obvious answer."

He rolled his eyes.

"Can a girl be a werewolf?" I asked and my tone was eager, even to myself.

"No." Sam stated flatly and I was rather disappointed. "And you couldn't be one anyways, you don't have it in your blood. It's Quileute blood."

"Damn." I muttered. "Guess I can only be a vampire."

Sam's hands spazzed, "Why do you have to be a vampire?"

"Well, Carlisle's my mate. I mean, he's going to live forever, isn't he? And as a human, I won't. So eventually I'll have to become a vampire. I mean, I don't plan on it until I'm around twenty-eight or twenty-nine. I want to go through college first and other things, but eventually I'll have to."

"If the Cullens bite you, they break the treaty." Jared replied.

"Treaty?" I questioned.

"They promised not to bite anyone." Sam replied coolly. "I'd have to give them permission."

"Oh, but you will, won't you?" I asked.

Sam glared at me, dropping his arms from Emily's shoulders. "Of course I won't! I'm not going to let that happen to you Davina!"

"That's not fair." I argued hotly.

Sam actually growled at me. We were almost nose to nose now and Jared, Paul, and Emily had backed away. "Why the hell would you throw your life away huh! You realize you wouldn't be able to have children! You would cease to be human!"

"I can't have children if I'm human or vampire because Carlisle can't have children either way." I spat. "What you don't understand is that my mate is a vampire and it'd probably be safer if I was a vampire than if I was human!"

"PICK A HUMAN!" Sam barked. "ANY HUMAN!"

"THAT'S NOT FAIR! YOU SAID IT YOURSELF, YOU CAN'T JUST WALK AWAY FROM EMILY, CAN YOU? NO, NO YOU CAN'T. AND I CAN'T WALK AWAY FROM CARLISLE! YOU'RE MY BROTHER SAM! CAN'T YOU DO THIS FOR ME?"

I had pushed him to far. In a flash, Jared was yanking me backwards while Paul jumped in front of Emily as Sam transformed into a black werewolf. He was much bigger than I remembered, almost the size of a car. His body took up almost the entire room.

He panted and growled, holding his place, his eyes closed, fur bristling as he tried calming down. His clothes had exploded, leaving scraps of clothing fluttering down from the ceiling.

I closed my eyes.

Shit.

I pushed past Jared, ignoring his protests and bent down in front of the very large werewolf. "Sam?" I said, taking the shaggy face in my hands. "I'm sorry. I just don't understand. I'm sorry."

He shrunk, turning human, his face in my hands and he muttered, "Fuck." He lowered his head to my lap helplessly.

"I'm sorry." I murmured, running his short hair back through my fingers. "I can't make you understand. You can't make me understand. We're both stubborn. Just like when we were kids."

"I just want to protect you." Sam muttered. "You've made it clear I'm like your last relative and I just want to keep you safe."

Tears dropped from my eyes, falling in his hair. I bent down, pressing my forehead to the back of his head.

"Always." I murmured.

"Don't quote me Harry Potter." 

[mangoslixes]

hello my darling, hope everything is going well 🧡 ok now let’s talk business: could you give me a list of your 5 top favorite podcast, with a little description and your impressions? Please and thank you I’m super curious 🧡

Hello my love! I'm so sorry for disappearing, I've been drowning in finals season. But I'm finally free and here to talk about podcasts with you!

My current top 5 favourites are:

Arden: A fictional podcast about people making a true crime podcast. And it's modern Shakespearean retellings! I didn't know that bit when I started the show and after a while I connected the dots and it was all so interesting. An investigative journalist gets stuck making a podcast with an ex private detective, and they "hate" each other, so for the better half of the episode initially, it's just them arguing over small things. So if you like enemies to lovers, Shakespeare, true crime and a bite at capitalism with the most weirdest ad breaks I've ever heard, I'd highly recommend.

Mabel: it's a horror podcast, and it's about my favourite trope too, i.e, a fucked up house. It's about a carer leaving messages to her client's estranged granddaughter, Mabel. The narrative is so beautiful and haunting, I love it and the house too! I love the idea of houses that are haunting rather than haunted, abandoned houses rejecting humanity, houses that love or hate you to a destructive degree, houses that give too much to the point that they stifle you, houses that take too much until there's nothing left of you but a forgotten carcass at the mercy of time, just fucked up houses in general.

The Silt Verses: do you like the horror around Gods? Yes, the idea of gods existing is about mercy and humanity and generosity etc etc, but there's also the horror of Gods. Gods that are everywhere, within everything, but they're hungry and they need to be fed, they need to feed. They're always hungry, always starving. Gods whose ideas of generosity and miracles and gifts are so far from our own morals and ideas that it's just monstrous. Gods are everywhere and they're hungry. Good existential horror, makes me feel like this 🧍🏽‍♀️ when I listen to it.

Out of Sight: this!! This one's a bit hard to explain, but it's basically about this supernatural investigator and his partner Lazari. Each episode has a different supernatural mystery but they have Lazari's own troubles connecting them all. It's all about creepy legends, ghosts and two people trying to fix those problems while making a podcast out of it.

The White Vault: See I got attached to all of the characters, and that's what I'd recommend you not do because this is a found-footage style podcast. Now that we've got that covered, it's got five seasons, and I'll tell you how it starts and why it's terrifying. It starts with a repair team being sent to an arctic outpost, where they get stuck and are isolated for a while. Here things go south, because this is a horror podcast, so yes, things go down south incredibly fast. The voice cast is amazing, the sounds are amazing, and the details are gory. Then when we come to season 3, it gets worse, because we realize the monster was the least of our worries. Me and @queridaz lost our minds over this and I've still not finished season 5.