#i forgot how much i love his himbo dumbass

[star-on-a-beach]

its high noon

MCCASSIDY REFERENCE

YEEHAW

ROBO HORSE

ITS HIIIIIIGH NOOOOOON

[soulmate-game]

OH MY GOSH YOU ARE SO GOOD AT WRITING! I NEED A PART 3 WITH KON AND JON PLEASE!!! 🥺🥺❤️ (Only if u wanna write it tho)

Lol. Sure, why not?

—*—*—*—*—*

“You know,” Tim drawled as he sipped his drink, smirking at his boyfriend across from him. “I think this is the best date you’ve taken me on so fa—“

At that, the door to the restaurant was kicked open. Instantly, Tim and Kon tensed and got ready to jump into action, only for them to both just gape at who, exactly, had just barged in. Said barger almost instantly zeroed in on them, marching over with hands on his hips.

“And how many dates has my traitorous brother taken you out on, Huh?” Jon asked petulantly. Kon didn’t know whether to cry, laugh, or run away while he had the chance.

“Uh,” Kon floundered, absolutely caught off guard. Not that that seemed to be a problem, because Jon just started up talking again, the whole restaurant looking at them;

“When were you gonna tell me that you’re GAY?!”

“Uh. Look, Jon, buddy,” Kon tried to save himself, but couldn’t quite come up with the words fast enough. Jon places a hand over his heart, looking for all the world as if he was truly heartbroken. Dramatic asshole.

“I thought we were FAMILY! How could you do this to me? The horror! The injustice of it all! My brother is GAY—“

“Jon, seriously, can we at least not do this in public?” Poor Kon was starting to look pale and twitchy, so Jon sped his act up.

“—and he doesn’t even tell his gay brother that he’s gay!” Everyone else in the restaurant, who had been filming this on their phones and nervously chattering about homophobia and if someone was gonna step in, suddenly went pin-drop silent.

“What.” Kon forgot about the beginnings of his terror, now completely dumbfounded. “Wait, you’re gay too?”

“Yeah! Which is why I’m angry!” Kon put his hands on his hips again. “Damian’s mom had to tell me that our dad is Bi, because I thought he was straight and was agonizing about how to come out to him! And she also told me the huge dramatic tale of an apparently ten-year-long love triangle between her, Damian’s dad, and our dad. It was nuts.”

Kon wrinkled his nose, Tim copying the expression. “Wait, our dads? Ewww.”

“Yeah, I know,” Jon nodded before continuing. “So I was mad at Dad, because he never told me he wasn’t straight! And I spent weeks agonizing over nothing because of it! And then Dad tells me that YOU’RE gay too?! The treachery! The mutiny! You copycat! You didn’t even have the DECENCY to tell your brother that you were GAY so that he didn’t have to worry about being the only non-straight in the family!”

“I didn’t know you were gay too! And I never even told Dad, how does he know?!”

“Apparently he knows everything!” Jon threw his hands up. “He’s the one who told me to crash your date today after the prank I pulled on him yesterday for not telling me he was bi!”

“HOW DID HE KNOW ABOUT OUR DATE?!”

“HOW DID YOU NOT NOTICE THAT I’M GAY?!” Jon yelled right back. “I TOLD YOU I HAD A CRUSH ON DAMIAN YEARS AGO!”

“I THOUGHT YOU MEANT AS A FRIEND?!”

“OH MY GOD MY BROTHER IS DUMB!” Jon turned his attention to Tim. “YOU’RE SMART! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO RUB OFF ON HIM!”

Tim, who was half-sunk into his chair and only still watching this fiasco out of morbid fascination, just deadpanned at Jon and said; “There’s no cure for Stupid, your honor. He only has one braincell and it forgot how to multiply.”

“Hey!” Kon protested, slamming his hands on the table. “You’re my boyfriend! You’re supposed to be on my side!”

“I can’t help that I’m dating a punk himbo, Conner.”

“Graaaah!”

“And I’m dating Damian!”

Tim looked over, horrified. “I fully expected this, but also— is it voluntary? Do you need a way out?”

Jon rolled his eyes. “He’s sweet, shut up.”

“Oh my god he’s brainwashed you!” Tim was obviously just being dramatic (he loved his brother, regardless of how they didn’t often get along) so Jon ignored him and turned back to his own brother.

“Anyway, you must suck at this whole dating thing. I heard Tim say this was the best date you’ve taken him on and, full offense intended but,” he swept his arm around to indicate the restaurant. “This is a Wendy’s.”

“At least we’re not getting mugged this time though,” Kon said with a shrug.

“This is also only the third date in four years that he’s taken me on. I started all the others.”

“YOU’VE BEEN GAY FOR FOUR YEARS AND DIDN’T TELL ME?!”

—*—*—*—*—*

Later, Tim was at the Batcomputer and Marinette was handing him his first cup of coffee for the long night ahead. He looked down at his phone when it beeped, and let loose a tortured groan. Marinette just raised an eyebrow at her adopted son.

“Uh? Problems in paradise?” She asked when she saw that the sender was Kon’s contact in Tim’s phone. Tim groaned again.

“Not exactlyyyyy,” he hedged. “You told Jon that Clark is bi.”

Marinette blinked, having actually forgotten about that after Damian had showed her the video Jon had gotten of Clark. Then again, the video ended abruptly ... as if Jon had intentionally cut something out at the end.

“Jon was catastrophizing at the dinner table— oh yeah you weren’t there because you dragged Kon out for a date that night— anyway, he was having a crisis and I needed to get revenge on Clark for something. So yeah, I told him the whole story.”

“Well,” Tim growled. “Clark told Jon about Kon being gay. And somehow he knew exactly where and when we were having our date.”

Marinette caught on, unable to hide her large grin. “Oh nooooo,” she breathed. “What did he do?”

Tim grumbled and brought up the YouTube video of the whole interaction. Marinette damn near laughed herself into a coma over it, and it had already gotten over a million hits too.

“Oh my god,” Marinette had to catch her breath. “I didn’t realize Kon was just as much of a himbo as the other two of them! I thought he had to have more sense, I always thought that being a punk requires more than just the bare minimum level of intelligence.”

“Apparently not.”

“Wait,” Marinette seemed to realize something, putting her hand on her chin in sudden thought. “Wasn’t... didn’t Luthor make Kon the same year Jon was born? They’re technically the same age even though Kon is physically older, right?”

Tim’s jaw dropped. “Oh my god,” he breathed. “Luthor must have accidentally cloned Jon’s only braincell into Kon’s body,” he jokingly “realized”. “They are twin dumbasses!” He blinked, and held his phone up. “Oh shit, Jon covered Kon’s apartment completely in pride flags!”

[brandstifter-sys]

Before You Know It

Word Count: 1475. (Ao3)

Relationship: Dukexiety

Rating: T

Warnings: disease mention, mild gore mention, implied violence, self-depreciation, sex mention

Remus is a lot wiser than he lets on, and he is the one side who could reach Virgil before he got accepted. And even now he's still good at helping the emo he loves feel better

-------

Janus sighed and closed the door behind him. It was no use, not this time, not after that display of disregard. He clutched the icepack, now warm with tears, and looked up at the side waiting for answers.

“He won’t listen to me, not this time, even with hypnosis,” he sighed, “Maybe you can reach him, Remus. Someone has to.”

Remus nodded solemnly and sank out. Virgil wasn’t leaving his room, and after the video that day, it was understandable why he would want to hide. Thomas turned him into a cartoon. Thomas made him fly to California. Thomas made him a supervillain. Thomas punched him. in. the. face. Rejection was one thing, but that, that broke him. Remus and Janus feared for the worst.

“Oh Virgilisonfire!" he sang as he rose up in the dimly lit room. His slimy black heart broke at the sight of Anxiety curled up and slumped over his knees, bundled in blankets with his hood up. He had a nasty bruise on his cheek that shone under a glaze of tears.

"All I want is to protect him," Virgil sniffed and hugged himself tighter, "But I'm not doing that anymore."

Remus approached the bed and sat down next to him.

"What do you mean? You're protecting him still. He's just an idiot. And that's saying something coming from your favorite horny dumbass!" Remus giggled and wrapped an arm around him.

"I'm holding him back, I'm hurting him, and I don't blame him for hating me. I'm a disease. A terrible illness that won't stop making things worse."

"You? Kickin-bod Crane? No no no no, that's not right, not at all," Remus pouted and pulled him closer with no resistance.

"Versa E-Verge, you aren't some sexy strain of yersinia pestis, I would be harassing you day and night if you were," he said, getting a snort from Virgil, "No, you are not the plague. You have your moments of overdoing it, but who doesn't? You do a lot for the big T that he doesn’t appreciate, and you know that, you just gotta stay determined to do you.”

“But doing me hurts him so much. Even if I do some good stuff, I do a lot more harm and he hates me for it. He’s right to hate me. I’m not the plague but I am a sickness, like the Spanish flu.”

“You wanna go with disease metaphors? Okay! You know you only have to deal with the Spanish flu once, and he deals with you a lot more than that. You, my gloomy goober, have bad times, and they’re as basic as a common cold!” Remus said with a bright grin, making Virgil scowl, “Yeah, you’re not some terrible illness, you’re just a common cold, gone before you know it, and then back at it again and it’s predictable. You’re not killing him, making him rot from the inside out or destroying his vital organs, you’re a mild inconvenience when shit hits the fan. Those bad times pass, and then you’re not what he thinks is a problem. Again, I’m telling you, Thomas is dumb, like he has three Kronk's in his personality.”

“Three?” Virgil questioned and wiped his eyes, “I know Princey and Patton are, but who’s the third?”

“Me!” Remus laughed and threw his arms out. Virgil let out a small laugh and shook his head.

“Kronk is kind, strong, respectful, and moronic.”

“Yeah, I know!”

“You’re not moronic.”

“Aw!” Remus squealed and pulled Virgil into a bear hug, earning a fond groan in response. Virgil took a minute to free his arms and hug back, but he managed to do it.

“Thanks, Dukey, you always know what to say to help.”

“I also know how what to say to make you incredibly uncomfortable, disturbed, disgusted, and horn—"

“Shut up a bit and lemme have this moment.”

“Okay, Scare Bear. We love you, even if they don’t. I love you.”

---------------

Two Years Later…

“You know what's funny. You used to really unsettle me,” Virgil said, finally addressing him without the others intervening. Remus pouted and rolled his neck, wondering why Janus hadn’t popped up for this load of bull.

“I thought that you were some...terrible illness.” That caught his attention, and a soft smile crept onto his face. He could see where Virgil was going with this, the subtlety masked his meaning perfectly.

“Now I can see that you're just...a common cold...a mild inconvenience...that's gone before you know it."

Remus couldn’t fight the laugh that bubbled from his chest, “Oh, you TickleMe Emo! I enjoyed this! Good seeing you again, Virgil! Ah, it was just like old times!” He didn’t need to see more than that reluctant half-smile before sinking out.

After a quick bit of annoying Roman, because no sibling can easily resist the urge to be a pain, Remus actually returned to his room. It really was fun to finally get to interact with Thomas face-to-face, even if he didn’t give the duke a positive reception. Not that Remus was looking for positivity in this case, he was busy being an alarm that something wasn’t right. That something was Janus, refusing to leave his room for anything. Remus absolutely refused to offer any advice to help his slithering partner in crime, since Janus was too stubborn and his advice was probably what led to Virgil ducking out.

Remus flopped on his four-poster bed and sighed. Maybe his advice from before did reach Virgil as he intended, maybe it wasn't enough back then. Seeing him so hostile recently should have made Remus see that he forgot those words until Logan brought up doctors. It wouldn't have surprised the duke if Virgil willingly forgot about their history together. It stung but Remus saw it coming. He didn't see what was just on the horizon.

"Octopup?" Virgil's shaking voice got Remus to sit up. His heart broke when he saw Virgil standing in front of him, hugging himself with his head hanging. He was shaking and terrified.

"Need a hug, Scare Bear?" Remus asked and held his arms open, as if nothing had changed. Virgil crashed into him, knocking him back and clinging to him for dear life. Remus held him close and stroked his hair.

"So do you want to tell me what's wrong or should I just keep doing this?"

"I–I—" Virgil stammered, fighting back tears, "I told Thomas I was one of you. He didn't take it well."

"I hate to break it to you, but you're still one of us. You always have a place here, even if you don't think you do. You really think that we would just stop caring about you even though you left?"

"I've been horrible to you. Why would you want me back?"

"No one is trying to bring you back, we understand that you had to go. But you are always welcome if you want to visit our little cesspool."

"Remus," Virge said, pulling away to look at him, "it's not a cesspool. I know you aren't just intrusive thoughts and you do other good things. I just got stuck on the horrible things that could happen."

"I guess I really did unsettle you."

"Whenever you said, 'I love you,'" Virge admitted shyly, "I kinda figured it was just low-stakes platonic and I kinda—"

"Wanted it to be higher stakes?" Remus continued, "Because I have some good news for you!"

"Knowing I missed out is not good news."

"Then it's a good thing it's not that!" Remus giggled and held him closer, "I want you to be happy, Harlot's Web, but it would be so much better to be able to be the reason you smile and laugh. I love you, Virge and I don't care if you don't love me back, I just want you to be comfortable and confident and the image in my head when I j—"

Virgil surged forward and kissed him, desperately but sweetly. It caught Remus by surprise, but he was a man who lived for surprises! But Virgil pulled away before he could kiss back.

"I—I'm–I shouldn't've—" Virgil yelped and covered his mouth, ready to cry again.

"But you did, and I'm not complaining!" Remus teased, "But if you aren't comfortable with it, I'm good like this. You don't have to worry about me and my feelings right now, you need some creature comfort, and I am a slimy creature built for comfort—and pleasure!"

"I love you too, you himbo trash man!" Virgil grumbled and hid his face in Remus' shoulder, "Thank you for being there for me, even now."

"Aw, Scare Bear!" Remus squealed and hugged him even tighter. Virgil didn't fight to break free. He nuzzled closer and melted into the embrace. He felt like he was home for the first time in forever.

[formless-monkeys]

What is your favorite relationship(s) in the show (romantically or platonically, doesn’t matter!)

Anon you will regret opening pandora’s box. Or not. In any case, this post is going to be very long because I’m full of love. Also, anything marked romantic does not need to be romantic for me to lose my shit over them. In no particular order, either. Just in the order I thought of them.

1. The Black-eyed trio

Characters: Otto, Sparx, and Gibson.

Type: Platonic, Romantic,

Explanation: These three are grouped together by virtue of not being obscenely powerful and serving more practical uses on the team. Also, their eyes are all the same color. Besides the poetic connections of the colors of their design, they were alone in the robot together while the other three monkeys were out training.

Sparx and Gibson’s interactions give me life, going from playful jabs to genuine fighting right back to ride-or-die is amazing. The beginning of Night Of Fear, the battles in Brothers In Arms, and a bunch of small moments throughout the series are wonderful for this.

I could write an essay about Otto and Gibson, and someone else already has, but I’ll summarize it as ADHD autism solidarity with a side of Shut The Fuck Up Gibson. They care about each other and learn to respect each other in a way that’s better for both of them. I know a real-life Gibson to my Otto and learning that she’s just pretentious and doesn’t really hate anyone, and figuring out that we’re both equally brilliant and incredibly similar has made life a million times better.

Otto and Sparx don’t have as much development as Gibson with both of them, but their jokes together and general trust is amazing. Sparx is the dumb monkey and Otto supports him in his himbo endeavors. 

These three together make an unstoppable technical team, and the only reason they probably couldn’t be a superhero team on their own is because of the raw power and fun dynamics brought by the other half of the team. 

Romantically, these three would make the DUMBEST polycule ever. There is no true mediator here. It’s three dumbasses figuring out how they could possibly share a twin-sized bed when they have the ability to just make a bigger bed. Gibson calculates the most efficient 3 monkey makeout and none of them follow the statistics. They all give Chiro equally useless and conflicting advice on homework. Trying to give them a mediator in the polycule just makes me go back to shipping polymonkeys because I literally can’t decide if Antauri or Nova go better with them.

2. Quiet trust and encouragement

Characters: Otto, Antauri

Type: Platonic, Romantic

Explanation: When Otto is being dismissed by the other monkeys, or by the show itself, Antauri is usually the first to say “that’s bullshit, Otto is wonderful”. Circus Of Ooze is a notable example, but there are little moments in other seasons as well. 

I just love the idea of the historically MOST SERIOUS and strongest monkey, sometimes even elevated to god-like status by some fanworks... paired with the monkey that has been infantilized and disrespected to no end. I personally like making Antauri have to lean on Otto, just to subvert that even further. 

Beyond spite, I ship this simply because I like their dynamic. Antauri needs someone to ground him with more tactile physical things, and Otto needs someone to share his more nebulous thoughts I can’t imagine the others listening to. I love them.

Also, I want Antauri to unlock his true dumbass potential. He has the abilities, but not the will. Be silly with Otto. I want to hear him snort-laugh.

I literally forgot all the silver monkey stuff but I got three fics about that you know I go nuts over mechanic x robot shit.

3. The monkeys and their human son.

Characters: Chiro, Antauri, Nova, Sparx, Gibson, Otto

Type: Familial

Explanation: This family gives me joy. They were forced together through astronomical means and they made the best of it. 

Everyone living in the robot is absolutely fucked up. They help each other in the darkest of times. They lift each other up when it’s light. They are a perfect team and nobody can be missing without it feeling wrong. But they can add people!

“Girl Trouble” as a concept is AMAZING to me but my secondhand embarrassment is so strong that I hate the episode. But never once is any of the monkeys resentful of Chiro. Not even Mandarin is like “wow I wish he didn’t take my place” no he’s also struck with the urge to nurture this kid to his fullest potential. Whether you see the team as a bunch of older siblings or 4 dads and a mom doesn’t really matter, they’re a family.

I mean, this also has a sprinkling of shipping all the monkeys in a really domestic way because I like seeing my optimal future in characters I like, but like literally all of these, it doesn’t need to be romantic for me to go nuts. I just think it would be fun to throw just a big monkey wedding or whatever. And funnier for Antauri to go “Chiro I’m having a baby. The baby is you” and holding up adoption papers because on the principle of Toby “Radiation” Fox I love that joke, especially when made much less weird than the original context.

I have a set of characters who is just 5 people in a polycule raising kids and living life because I really love this concept as a family.

4. Evil Coworkers

Characters: Mandarin, Sakko

Type: Romantic, Platonic,

Explanation: Why the hell are these two, in particular, working together? SK could’ve put Mandarin with literally anybody else and he chose what on the surface appears to be the LEAST compatible person on the account that they’re both monkeys. Some bitter asshole who now looks like the epitome of toxic masculinity and this tiny pink pet who used his femininity both as an advantage and a style. They’re different but it ends up working really well for both of them because they’re different in ways that cover each other’s bases. It’s wonderful. Pink and Orange go well together. Green and Purple go well together. Mandarin and Sakko go well together. Also, they clearly trust each other. During almost the entirety of “Hidden Fortress” Sakko was presumably just chilling inside of Mandarin’s armor. Mandarin trusted him enough to have Sakko in a place where he’s able to mess with his cybernetics, and Sakko trusted Mandarin enough to go into the battlefield with him and probably get tossed around.

If they were both human and in a more modern media, then they would definitely be shipped in the straightest way you can get without actually being straight. The Straightest Gay Ship. 

5. A Witch and her Accidental Evil Coworker

Characters: Skelemandarin, Valeena.

Type: Platonic, Romantic, 

Explanation: These two have been through some shit. Skelemandy was made to serve Skeleton King only to have that purpose yanked away from him. Valeena was groomed to idolize and serve Skeleton King for nearly her entire life. They were forced together by SHEER CHANCE and they both hated it. Arguably they both died at some point. 

They both have absolutely NOBODY they can trust so let’s make them trust each other. All hilarity and sweetness comes from that. 

Their dynamic is so good that I have them on a blog for a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FANDOM and people love them with no context. 

This is the only cross-species ship I have (besides chinmay and the antauri ships but that doesn’t count), but the fact that Skelemandy isn’t actually a monkey and needs no cybernetic assistance to be human-level sentient makes it a lot less weird. Just put them on equal ground power-wise (like by nerfing Valeena’s magic) and you have the ingredients for bonding. 

They have like, no cute moments in canon, but that’s why we have fics and art. They have potential. I want them to help each other figure out who they are without their purpose. I want them to survive this horrible life together. I want them to figure out how to trust again. I want a lot but Valeena is fucking dead.

But she doesn’t have to be.

(Also Valeena is REALLY HOT and Skelemandarin is just me as a monkey)

6. Gay Dads

Characters: The Alchemist, Captain Shuggazoom

Type: Romantic, Platonic

Explanation: Oh my stars. Oh null. Oh me oh my hhougfhfakjghf. These two have the angst of Mantauri but on crack. 

They only appeared in about two episodes each and all three episodes are top tier. They call each other “Friend” multiple times in their shared episode. THEY’RE FRIENDS!!!!!!!!! The face Al makes when he realizes that Cap is visiting makes me really happy. The fact that Cap had this whole Batman Double Life thing and he shows the Alchemist BOTH OF THEM is amazing. The alchemist is a hermit living in the woods and he lets Cap into that life. 

There isn’t a lot shown, much less than everything else here. But that makes every single fanfic so much richer since they’re almost completely based on headcanons. Friends who have a mutual crush on each other but are No Homo about it? Secret boyfriends? Husbands with 6 monkey kids? An Old man and a grumpy Skeleton making it work? Literally just platonic friends? Dude, you can do whatever you want. 

The tragedy of these two losing each other to one big horrible event crushes me. It influences my every move in my creative work. I have an entire character dedicated to reuniting these two in the most astronomical and ridiculous way possible because the alchemist angered the gods but she thinks he needs some company in his eternal punishment.

I want Clayton to unlock Al’s less serious, more fun side. I want them to work together. I want them to hold hands. GHGHGHDFBG UTTHTYE CNAZSNT EBCV ASUA ER

7. The girl power duo

Characters: Nova, Jinmay

Type: Familial

Explanation: These two were my only comfort during the uncomfortable nightmare that is “The Hills Have Five”

Nova was the one who trained Jinmay, and it seems like they hang out a lot offscreen in season 4. They fulfill the early 2000′s cartoon archetypes of girl and Girl, so they’re supposed to get along. If they didn’t I probably wouldn’t like Jinmay.

Nova is a really good big sister/parental figure to Jinmay, who never had any family to speak of. 

Anyway, this entry has to be shorter because most of their bonding is in “The Hills Have Five” which is either #1 or #2 in my least favorite episode list. Not because it’s bad, but because it makes me viscerally uncomfortable. I really wish literally any other character than Jinmay was in her role in that episode. Or that the “taken to an offscreen area by an adult man while she screams” just wasn’t there. SHE’S 13!!! Nova did literally all she could to help. 

I really like that scene in questionable where Valeena kills almost the entire gang. It’s what they deserve.

Look I just really like Jinmay and I always have. She deserves a good Mom.

8. "My Second In Command”

Characters: Antauri, Mandarin

Type: Theoretical

Explanation: The fandom has really made this ship go from “literally nothing to stand on” to “integral plot point in a lot of fics”. Seriously. I have TWO screenshots that vaguely imply these two ever stood next to each other on the battlefield. This was entirely title-based and fan-made until ProjectAfectivity interviewed Ciro. Yeah he knows Antauri but only as well as the rest of the team. Anyway. Wow. This ship.

This is by far the worst breakup in history. These two, despite what Antauri says, were on equal ground at some point. According to Ciro (and fan speculation), they trained together. This (and other Mandy ship) changes wildly depending on if you think Mandarin was corrupted by the portal or not. Maybe Mandarin was once a kind leader who just crossed the wrong boundaries and paid for it. He could’ve held Antauri gently before battle. He could’ve been the monkey Antauri went to when he needed someone to talk to. He could’ve hyped the team up like Chiro does.

Or maybe, they were constantly fighting against each other in small ways. An incredibly unhealthy relationship, yes, but an interesting story. I like stories where Antauri isn’t this all-knowing pillar of stability. He’s got weaknesses. One of them may have been Mandarin.

Now that’s a good nickname from one to the other.

Imagine Antauri, in a moment of complete trust, declaring Mandarin his weakness. A sweet sentiment. They both know the other is incredibly strong, and trust that the other would never take advantage of that connection. They love each other. Until...

9. "My Closest Ally”

Characters: Otto, Mandarin

Type: Theoretical

Explanation: Okay I'm looking at the screenshot I put for this entry while also having watched Evil Ages recently. My brain is making uncomfortable connections. Combine that with the fandom and the show’s general treatment of Otto and I’m about to slam my head into a wall. I really do not like that, but I feel like there’s somebody out there who does. 

Anyway, this is Gibotto and Ottauri but with all the spice that shipping Mandarin with one of the other monkeys brings. When done well, it’s all the respecting Otto that comes with Ottauri and all the intimate partnership of Gibotto. And the Angst of Mantauri, but a lot more grounded. 

It paints a lot of stories. A story of a single point of comfort in a world Mandarin thinks is out to get him. A story of powerful validation from the one authority in Otto’s life. Of letting your guard down. Of trust, then breaking that trust.

I’d LOVE to see some things with Mandottotauri because that’s epic and cool and poggers. Don’t see a lot, though.

10.The Hets, I guess.

Characters: Jinmay, Chiro. 

Type: Romantic. Platonic. Canon.

Explanation: Look two entries on this list are polyamorous and four of them are mandarin so I have to say SOMETHING for the heteroes following me. Picked this ship over Spova because when I was a young child still suffering from comphet, I never watched the last episode of the show. I only saw up to season 3 at the most. This was the only canon ship for me. And out of all the ships, it’s the most relatable. I’m currently a teenager with black hair who looks really good in eyeliner dating a girl with pink hair who can pick me up and is unbelievably sweet. Except we’re gay and polyam. Wait a second I totally had a crush on Jinmay as a kid and now my gf is the Jinmay in this situation. Oh my god I was going to make this comparison if I did Spova too and I liked Nova.

ANYWAY

These are two LONELY kids. Chiro had bullies during school, and now he doesn’t even go to school. Jinmay hasn’t really had friends at all. Two kids with places in their universe that they aren’t too sure about, and just need someone to lean on. Their date was cute. They instantly bonded over their love of monkeys and I love that. 

The super robot is sometimes an analog for Chiro, in the first two season at least, and the way the super robot held Jinmay’s hands to keep her steady on the COB while her head flew in was SO SWEET. Chiro’s instant recognition and reaction to Jinmay’s head being thrown at the team, as well. He really loves her.

I think it’d be interesting if she didn’t love him back, though. I might take a stab at writing that.

[belphegorswhore]

Wowie, that message at the bottom of your last post was strangely aggressive. Okay, here’s an ask for your inbox: the brothers (and the other guys if you want to) react to a dumb MC. Like, someone who’s very pretty and cute, but you could swear that their looks are the only thing they have going for them. Their bad at school, ask dumb questions and are a total air head. Mega bimbo/himbo energy

See, now this is the content we want ;)

Obey Me! Characters react to himbo/bimbo/thembo MC

Lucifer:

Listen, we all know idiots are his type, I mean... he likes Diavolo... the #1 himbo

He’d have to sit and sigh anytime you say anything dumb, and he’d be like

“Why do I like them...?”

I think what really gets him is your clueless smile, I dunno I get vibes

It’s very charming to him, but he’s very upset that your failing school

Low-key ruining his reputation, he would not hold hands with you in public

It’s ok, he still loves you..

He would totally show you off at a dance because of your looks, but he would not allow you to talk

“You’re going to shake their hand and that’s it, do not speak”

Unlike the rest of his brothers, he wouldn’t trick you into doing dumb shit

Mammon:

“Damn, I guess I’ll have to take care of you”

He’d like to think that he’s the smarter and stronger one, so he has to take care of you

But he’s actually equally as stupid, so you guys would get in trouble a lot

“Hey, MC, you wanna ditch class?”

“Not really”

“But what if I said... you do it anyways..”

“Ok”

Would absolutely trick you into doing dumb stuff

But because of this, he’d make you take the blame if he did anything wrong

It’s not like anyone would believe him, but still

Oh, and what’s that...? Modeling???

Obviously you’d model with him now, he’d have a heart attack looking at you in some outfits though

Leviathan:

Oh no

“M-MC... you must hate looking at a-an otaku like me... I’m so disgusting...”

“What’s that mean..? Is that like the Naruti thing??”

“Wh- No!”

“Isn’t that like 12 episodes long, with Chris Evans or something”

“Stop!”

He was worried that you’d think he’s dumb, but now he’s getting a headache listening to you

You’d be easily impressed by his gameplay

“Wow, Levi, you’re so good at this game!”

“I-I’m playing a dating si- Actually, that would be correct I’m amazing at this game”

He would absolutely convince you to do Ruri-Chan cosplay

He’d regret it after because he’d have a stroke

Satan:

He’d think it’s very cute, but he’d constantly worry about you

He’s mostly worried about other people flirting with you at school

If he saw people flirting with you, he’d probably wall slam you in front of them and they’d go away

Like, that mans one of the seven lords or smth, they’re worried for their life

“See what happens when you stand there like a space cadet *sigh* at least be more alert when you’re by yourself or it’s gonna be your own damn fault when you get kidnapped”

“You’re right!”

“I said when you’re alone... you don’t have to worry about it when you’re with me, you can space out as much as you want”

“R-Right!”

“And I didn’t mean anything funny by that either! S-So don’t get the wrong idea!”

Did so just quote Fruits Basket? Yeah, but diD I ASK???

He’d feel bad about it, but he would totally get you to meow

He was joking at first, but now he does it all the time

He also gets you to help him prank Lucifer

Asmodeus:

At first he’d think your so pransome and that he’d have to work so hard to get you, then he’d find out you’re low key stupid and he’d be like

“This is gonna be so easy... but at what cost”

He’d truly try his best not to take advantage of you, so he’d just dress you up and do your make up a lot

Would definitely put you in sexy nice outfits and take pictures, but he’d keep them for himself

He’d also like to try a lot of his products on you, but still trick you

“MC, did you know this moisturizer is made from pure angel tears?”

“Whoa, no wonder my skin is so clear..- Wait, that’s so sad, are they okay!?”

He’d also lie to you about other stuff, just to see how you’d react

He’d literally tell you that Lucifer dyed his hair and that it used to be white, so the next time you interact with Lucifer it’d be like:

“Lucifer, I know you’re secret..”

“*glares* Which one..!?”

“*on the verge of crying* Wh-White hair.....!”

Lucifer would sigh and have to tell Asmo to stop tricking you

Beelzebub:

Oh no... 2 dumbasses

He didn’t even notice you were dumb, and he’s too shy to comment about your looks

He’d probably think you’re smart

“MC, what’s the answer to this question..?”

“The square root... of 68... Um... probably a carrot, that’s a root I think”

“Yeah, I like carrots so it’s probably right”

Mammon would definitely be mad that Beel calls him dumb but you smart

“Wow MC, you’re pretty and smart...”

You guys being together would be like the attractive one and the jock, iconic

But, or course, neither of you realize this

If you guys were cooking together and Beel ate the food it would go like:

“MC... where’d the food go?”

“...I don’t know, it was here a second ago”

Or like:

“It says ‘tsp’ of baking soda... what do you think that is, Beel?”

“I forgot... let’s just add a cup”

“Yeah, that’s probably safe”

You two would make Luke cry

Belphegor:

Honestly gave it his all at first, but now he’s tired

“MC... you wanna sleep together?”

“Oh, like a pillow fort!? I’ve always wanted to have a pillow fort with you, this is great!”

“Wh- No- Sure, yeah”

He’d be really happy when you wear his clothes though, especially his sweaters

And, just like Satan, he’d get you to prank Lucifer with him

“Ok, so you’re going to talk to him while I put a whoopie cushion on his chair, he’s dumb so he’ll fall for it”

And when your distracting Lucifer you’d end up saying something like

“Lucifer, are you dumb?”

“Wh- No.”

“Okay, I thought you were dumb”

And before you could finish the prank, Lucifer would storm out he room because you thought he was dumb

Belphegor would be disappointed and you’d be confused

“What did I do wrong..?”

“Nothing, you did great. In the end Lucifer got mad and that was the goal”

While he does think you’re attractive, this asshole would love tricking you for his enjoyment

Diavolo:

The #1 himbo

Everyone else would be like ‘Wow, this human is so beautiful and they got with the prince of Devildom! That’s amazing!”

But really he was nice to you once and you were like ‘wow... him’

“MC... you are very... delightful... to view”

“He’s so good with his words <3”

He does think youre attractive though, and just like Lucifer, he’d want to show you off (but in a more fun way)

He’d literally carry you to class, both to show you off and probably because you want to be carried

You could be in the middle of a meeting and sitting on his lap and he wouldn’t mind

Everyone else would though

Since you’re bad at school he would try to help you, but it’s very difficult

“Okay, so this war happened 4000 years ago-“

“When?”

“...4000 years ago”

Solomon:

Y’all thought Asmo was flirting too much?? Nah, he stopped after he got what he wanted, Solomon would keep going

“Wow you’re dumb, I like that in a person”

“I’m not dumb...”

“But, it’s in a cute way”

“Wow, he called me cute”

Once he gets closer to you... he messes with you even more

“Hey MC, there’s a stain on your shirt”

“Really, where- *gets flicked*”

This asshole would not stop messing with you

He’d even mess with you just to mess with the brothers

(In front of any of the brothers) “Hey, MC, I dropped that, can you pick it up for me?”

“I just saw you drop-“

“It slipped out of my hand..”

“Oh ok.”

“*whispers* haha.. nice ass”

Simeon:

He thinks it’s cute, even if you’re failing everything

“It’s fine.. it’s cute :)”

But you guys are also both dumb, and technologically challenged

Texting each other would go like:

“Wha TSS jup”

“Nowtwhisng”

“Met oo :))”

He would probably compliment you a lot, doesn’t matter if you can’t handle it, he’ll keep going

“You’re so pretty and cute, has anyone ever told you that?”

“Yeah, you said that earlier today”

“I can’t even look at you because you’re so bright ;)”

“I’m, like, normal light though...”

“*sighs* it’s okay, it’s cute”

If anyone else called you dumb though... I dunno... might just... glare at them

He wouldn’t fight anyone though, he’s a man of GOD unless...

Barbatos:

He likes it, but he hates it. It’s cute sometimes, but he gets a headache other times

“If... theoretically, I jumped off the roof-“

“Please don’t.”

“No no, theoretically, you could time travel into the past and catch me...”

“Actually, it would have to be the future, and I wouldn’t do that. Please don’t :)”

He’d also help you with school, but sometimes he’d be tired of you not understanding and would do the homework for you

He thought it was a lot of work to handle Diavolo, but you surpassed his expectations

You’re lucky he likes you, I guess...

“Barbatos... why are you staring at me like that..?”

“No reason”

“...Do I look weird, is there something on my face??”

“No, you look nice today”

“Wow, you’re such a great friend :)”

“.... :)”

It’s okay, he thinks your stupidity is barely charming

Luke:

“Don’t worry, I’ll protect you from these horrible demons!!”

He would worry a lot about your safety because he’d think you’re too dumb to realize when someone’s after you

“Didn’t you realize he was flirting with you!? Disgusting!”

“But he was being nice to me”

“That’s what demons do to get what they want”

“What do they want?”

“Uh.. um... I don’t know- But I’m sure it’s bad!”

Simeon would try to reassure Luke, but it wouldn’t work

“Luke, it’s fine. They’re all just complimenting them because they’re really pretty-“

“No, you too!? Simeon, I thought I could trust you!!”

One day if he’s trying to defend you, he’d probably end up threatening Lucifer

“....pardon?”

“I-I said I’ll fight you if you k-keep doing that...!”

And then Lucifer would scare him with no hesitation because he feels no remorse for him

I added everyone cuz no one but God can stop me. this took way too long, I’m sorry

[alrighty-vigilante]

Felix Faust and his one braincelled offspring – an epitome of DC's lost potential; a himbo,a dumbass and a fucking rat

It's not like any of you asked but it's the thing that wakes me up at night. DC created a lot of great characters: good, evil and morally grey.

And just like that... They abandoned them. Not like "stopped using them in their stories" – stopped caring.

Let me show you what made me so obsessed with DC's Faustfamily: the good, the bad and the ugly.

The Good

Sebastian, the firstborn of Felix, Abraham to his Isaac, is constantly haunted by the sins of his father and bashed for them. Around him heroes are not heroes anymore, too distrustful to treat him with decency, always suspecting scheming.

The Bad

Since every magic user pays some price for their skills I feel like his price is not being able to experience love or not for long. In Outsiders (1993) it was stated, or so I believe, that he has a hard time experiencing feelings because of his lack of soul. Even if not: since Halo was reborn many times, she doesn't even remember Sebastian. June Moon was completely apathetic after Enchantress persona was ripped out of her. Zatanna is Zatanna, I think their relationship was only mentioned in Mystik U so it's thankfully not anywhere near canon. In totally awful Suicide Squad: Black Files it's told Sebastian's wife is dying (and pregnant) so he enchanted her until he finds a cure. Even motherly love he cannot experience – no matter the author's approach, his mother is not around him for long and he feels responsible for her death which may have be the reason why she tried to look after his sister for as long as it was possible. Sorry I need a moment...

I'd have to be naïve to even hope for anyone in DC being so competent to show Sebastian as aromantic/demiromantic without showing people on this spectrum as soulless.

Fauna lived to be "lesser than Sebastian". Suffered the same fate as her brother but was neglected by her father from the start, unlike Sebastian who was taught by him some time. I don't think she and her father nor she and her brother ever bonded in any way. For me Fauna is the embodiment of the anger only an abused abandoned teenager can feel. Raw blinding rage not directed at anything in particular but everything and everyone including herself because she is not sure what and who should she hate the most. And in the end, it is she who suffers the most. It drives her a path of evil. All her attempts at being better than everyone and most of all – better than her father, are in real just attempts to get his approval.

The only time she felt free was when she got with Syonide (yeah folks she's lesbian) but, well, it didn't last long.

One thing about her that especially wakes me up at night is how in Raven she mentions her ancestors but stops, saying she's better than them anyway. Well, there are no such characters in whole DC. No Majica the Magnificent or whoever. Let's pretend it's not just a hole in the universe because probably it is just that: it leads to conclusion that Fauna made it up herself to back up her narcissistic attitude and the right to do what she want and take what she want OR her father made that up, and that leads us to Felix Faust himself.

The Ugly

WHERE DO I EVEN START, if I start to lost what's wrong with him you'll be reading this to the end of your life.

The most prominent personality trait of his is that Dumb bitch hours are 24 hours. Second: he is full of opposites. Is he intelligent? As hell. Is he still a gullible idiot? Oh yeah. Is he doing bad things? Yes. Is he a villain? No, he had his time of being neutral/good. He is driven by the need for power. What would he do if he gets it? The most probable scenario: nothing. What would he need it for, then? I can bet all my money, which are around 5$ and a bagel, that what he really want is respect (and that ties neatly with making up his genealogy tree). Now, his background varies depending on the author, of course they couldn't develop consistency, but many things are common nonetheless. So, if we just generally look at him, we see a man who, before being possessed by 5000 years young ghost, was nothing more but street magician – guess how much respect he got. This old sorceress that eventually took over his body also was humiliated in a great defeat. In the 70s he was called the greatest foe of the Justice League. Nowadays, even some drunk warlock junkie rat (yeah, I mean Constantine lol) makes fun of him. What could he crave more than some basic "this is Felix Faust, the greatest sorcerer alive who hoards all the knowledge"?

I would say it doesn't matter whether he sacrificed his son to help his dying wife or to get more power (he later sacrificed his daughter just for the latter reason. He just never learns). Generally sacrificing your children is shitty thing to do so there's no justification for his actions. He doesn't know when to stop and even if he feels regret for things he has done, he just keeps going in an everlasting chase.

Damn, in a way he is quite relatable: despite the efforts, he fails every time. Despite the education in three majors, he is so gullible. Making him not talented enough to match his knowledge truly is tragic.

What DC never explored, and never will, is he was a single parent, who didn't know how to carry on without his wife, how to bring their children up. Too focused on his "career" he neglected his children. Having Sebastian to grow up to be a better person and better sorcerer than he ever will be visibly drives him up the wall. At the same time he struggles, trying to get close with his son a bit – these clumsy attempts to scold him are actually meant to be compliments. (No such scenes with him and Fauna because apparently writers forgot about her completely smh).

I don't enjoy New52 events but I think a lot about how Faust was trapped in the Tower of Fate with Neron, the ruler of hell and also his abuser. He kinda had it coming but it's traumatic nonetheless

Another thing that could be explored by DC more is that in a way, heroes are pretty much the guardians of the status quo. Not only Sebastian takes the blame for everything and is not trusted by them, but they also haven't done much to keep Felix on the good side, never thanked him for his service nor did they tried not to push him into villainy. But such behaviour also affect other characters so I won't be focusing on this.

To sum it up nicely: just because this is about fictional magicians doesn't mean their story is unrelatable. People out there are emotionally absent in their family's life sometimes because of tragedy they went through or because they were not ready, or because something else. People may hate their abusers, love their abusers, be children of abusers. Parents put their children through harmful situations. Family are not always bonded and happy. Family members may long for contact but don't know how to get it. Etc etc, you probably got it.

Not only these characters suffers from lost potential but many, many more. Instead of seeing same characters like Batman or Wonder Woman over and over again, I'd prefer creators to go back and develop what they already have.

[bucksbisexual]

okay since im rewatching 2gether, might as well make my reaction public lol

tine trying to be a supportive boyfriend by asking wat if something is troublig and wat’s himbo self being like “nah fam im good” god i love this dumbass

also tine not knowing how to talk about his feelings is so relatable help

honestly i would’ve LOVED to see sarawat at least one (1) question

tine’s smile while wat drinks..... Sir I Am In Love With You

also his blush..... Sir I Am More In Love With You Than I Was Before

“is the lyric about smile or happiness?” “don’t cheat” wat saw through his bullshit right there KSJFHKS

i wonder what’s in those glasses because it doesn’t quite look like coke but it obviously isn’t beer,,,,

ohhhhh “a friend from high school” ... explains tine’s reaction we see in the teaser when he introduces pam as his highschool friend

also explains why tine thought sarawat made that video for her instead of him. wat is in his high school clothes and tine probably thought it was before he saw him (when in fact it was probably recorded the same day lmao sarawat hopeless romantic)

tine: one more game! [spins the coin and supposedly falls on heads] wat!

sarawat: no one can talk to me if i fall asleep

i’m trying not to look at bright’s jiggly butt why is ass so fat fOR

it doesnt add the points here if i dont write something else so intro time yeet

yknow what . we need more earn and more pear in these two last episodes . i need my wlw rep and i need it Now

“personal space is important even for couples” still cant believe man was the owner of their braincell in this scene

tine giving all of type’s info away to wat so wat can give it to man who tine knows will use to pester him until he becomes his boyfriend...... say it with me: tine mantype shipper

“how did you know?” “i prayed to god” literally the funniest part ever

manboss: im not going good luck wat: you’re so full of bullshit

GREEN <3

i will just say that pink is tine’s best colour. i need him in every soft pink thing u can find. it accentuates his skin colour so perfectly and we are Here for it honeyyyy

MIL SHUT THE FUCKUP

sarawat being a savage (rachet booty nasty) we stan

bro get over him oh my god he’s taken and happy with wat LEAVEEEEEE

and man pestering type begins Now ksjfh

i’m like 100000000% sure that the only thing in that whole backpack is a pencil and half of an eraser

im also sure type saw him buy the book since u literally can see him from where man and that girl are and

hold up the waiter looks like a guy from whyru,,,,,,,,,,

i need someone to write a fic about tine being an astronomy lover and wat falling in love with him because of the joy in his eyes when he talks about the stars and interesting facts about the universe and new discoveries of galaxies and other things that wat doesnt really care about but he listens to either way because he’s too in love to shut off his brain

okay back to the episode sorry i just really had to say this

wat really said “don’t take advantage of me when i’m sleeping” when they haven’t even kissed.......... no words, completely speechless

tine probably thought he was being real sneaky right there lmao boy he fell asleep 2 seconds ago

god green really appears for 2 seconds and yet he steals the show KSFJHKFJFS he really was about to beat the person in front of him’s ass for not walking faster im crying i love him

BITCH SHUT UP AND LEAVE THEM ALONE STOP TRYING TO BE A HOMEWRECKER

wat looks so offended by his offer it’s so funny jhfksjhgj still MIL GET THE FUCK OUT

them running around is so funny when u know they had to do that like 20 times and were tired as fuck KSJFHKSHFS

WAT YOU SMOOTH FUCKER i love u

omg the bracelet truly isnt there at the start of the scene :-(

“nuisance tree” lemme just cry a bit

the music stopping here......... they truly played with our feelings there huh

WAT YOU SMOOTH FUCKER 2

the reactions are so kdrama outro i cant breathe KJHFJSFKJS

GET THE FUCK OUTTTTTTTTTTT

“well, you left him” IM GOING TO STEP ON YOU

bracelet where r u :-(

“it was here a second ago” it wasn’t im an obsessed bitch and noticed just as the scene there started

he looks so worried:-( tine baby

“i can make you a new one” “but i want the old one” why do i feel like that has more than one meaning,,,

half of the times wat touches tine’s head his hands are dirty as fuck lmaoooooo

is- is someone wearing a marihuana dress??????

manbosss again and he has a book

type is the teepakorn brother that can lie and will lie meanwhile tine can’t lie for a living

I LOVE THIS GUY GIVE ME HIS SELF CONFIDENCE

dim really made up a whole spirit just for wat to be with tine lmao i cant breathe (unless the pine tree spirit is an actual thing and he just used it for this specific thing lmao)

“that senior is me” “and who did you go with?” “that was a long time ago” “it wasn’t me, it wasn’t me” “green, drop it!” i love them KSFJHFSJHF

green and wats faces i cant bREATHE these are the faces of people who know this is all fake

BRO WAT WASNT EVEN THAT SLICK WITH THE PAPER IN HIS HAND SJKHSFHHKFS

my guess is that he had two papers that were the same number just incase they didnt get the same number but then somehow mf MIL had to come in and ruin it

i dont know who chose to make bright wear this much brown but it honestly fits him so well

coffee for his soon to be boyfie

man: loving u is kind of bothering? type: o_o man

he’s still reading the book kjshfsf WAIT HES SO CUTE

“you gotta miss me if i don’t show up one day” “just back off. i’m leaving. do not follow me. give me some time to miss you” okay tsundere ass bitch

type’s so rich he’d rather spend money on getting his tire fixed than get it fixed by man for free i hate rich people

he’s also too rich to care to check if his doors were locked i-

“for me?” “do you see anyone else?” bitch ass tsundere

type: smiles, realises he just did that, eyes cutely go o_o

type looks so cute in that scene for no reason im going to eat ur cheeks if u dont stop being a cutie

aaaaaand of course theyre not paired up

dude of course he is youre creepy and also trying to break his relationship apart only because u dont have the decency to see that you dont have a place in his heart whatsoever

dim honey........ jskhsjf

tine’s hair....... PLEASE I NEED TO TOUCH IT IT LOOKS SO FLUFFY

“the spirit doesnt like it when you pray with your eyes opened” did literally no one notice how nonsense that was? KSFJHSJ

GREEN U SCARED THE BABY WHY WOULD U DRESS LIKE THAT

he looks so cute im gonna cry like actually cry

weak ass blankets they gave them i swear

if u cuddled then u wouldnt have been cold but noooooo ur big puppy boyfriend has trust issues

baby:-((((((((((( i will cover u with a blanket and give u lots of kithes and hugs

tine having his phone die at an important moment and also having no sense of direction whatsoever is so relatable lmaooooo

thank god for the rain because otherwise sarawat wouldnt have ran the way tine actually went lmao i wouldve beaten dims ass if mil was the one who found him

this scene hurts so much:-(( his throwing the grass like that in complete defeat??????? the flashback to him saying that bad things seem to happen to them lately makes my heart break

the soft touches:-((((( please im gonna Cry

dnotsaysorrydontsaysorrydonsaysorrydontsayHE SAID SORRY FFS

baby :’((((((

“i prayed for something but i havent redeemed that prayer yet” “what did you ask for?” “it’s if i got to see you again, i would show you the video i made. it’s the song your smile you are so curious about” BITCHHHHHHHHH

HES GONNA SHOW ITTTTTT YES I LOVE HOPELESS ROMANTIC HIGHSCHOOLER SARAWAT

he’s all shy i cant breathe he cant even look at the screen skjfhksh

oh so it was on the same day sksjhj forgot about that

I CRY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

tine is all blushy im gonna sob i love these two

im trying not to scream and tines reaction to wat telling him he went to every scrubb concert just to look for him

ITS NOT GONNA GET STUCK ON THE VIDEO BABY HE WILL LIKE U BACK IN A YEAR!!!!!!

“i like you” “yeah. i know. i like you too” AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IM LITERALLY REWATCHINNG BUT I STILL JUST SCREECHED AT THAT I LOVE THIS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

their smiles after he said it tho.......... my heart hURTS

wat: the wish only drew us to cross paths again. us being together is because of something else, tine: what then? wat: shout out to my homies for being there for me since day one i love u bros

THE FLASHBACK AAAAAAAA I FOUND HIM YES U DID BABYYYYYY

boss’s whistle after he tells them that he only said he would kiss him until he dropped lmaoooooo

“his name is tine. [with the softest voice ever] what a cute name”

manboss looking at each other like this bitch is so gone for this random dude but we’re gonna support him because we’re the only friends he has

wat was probably wishing the pool had water in it so he could throw both of them into it at that moment KJSFHJSFHF

“he’s the one i like” “shiiiiiit” same dim, same

fan dee nAAAAAA

his ass was so gone he was gonna make his ig username lovetine i literally cant believe him

boss having the braincell in this scene i love it

“but earn has a boyfriend” LIES. SO MANY LIES. ITS A GIRL. SHES A WHOLE LESBIAN.

boss once again being the owner of the braincell...... im starting to think he owns it half of the time

“you get it now? us being together is not a coincidence. it’s because of us” WAT YOU SMOOTH FUCKER 3

wait,,,,, tine’s little head tilt,,,,,,, SIR I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU

the stars!!!!!!!!! theyre there!!!!!!

“i think nothing bad is going to happen anymore” honey you got a big storm coming

it ended :’(((((( my beautiful boys i love this episode and drama so much i swear

lets watch the next episode teaser

i dont think tine is gonna lsiten to pam saying that but if he does,,, baby pls dont overthink okay he loves u and wont leave u for anyone in the world

phukong dont come back to him he knows that u like him and will play with ur feelings

type is gonna have to choose between im guessing either a boy interested in him from work or man and im gonna vote for him going with man lets hope i win

WHAT IS WRNOG WITH U BRO GET OUT HES HIS BOYFRIEND OF COURSE HES GOING TO CARE AND WORRY YOURE JSUT A CREEP FOLLOWING HIM AROUND HOPING THAT THEIR RELATIONSHIP ENDS SO U CAN SNEAK IN UGH

“is pam your first love?” WHY DID U END THE TEASER THERE AAAAAAA BITCH

im so glad that the episode comes out today because i Need to know more

okay thats it if anyone read all of this first of all sorry kjshkfj and second of all thank u ,, u didnt have to but u did and ily for that okay bye

[shewasanamericangirl]

kamen rider OOO review

a young man, having dozed off a night on security guard detail, awakens to find an odd red coin engraved with a bird motif. assuming the coin is payment for his work, he goes to change into his civilian clothes and oh fuck there’s a giant hole in the wall.

after a quick police interview revealing that our hero 1. is thoroughly naive and 2. has an unusual fixation with underwear, he puts his clothes on and goes to spend his “payment” in a vending machine and--whoops, dropped the coin under the machine. fortunately, a very strong (and CUTE) young lady is nearby to help lift up the machine...and nearly drops it when they see the monstrous disembodied arm crawling out from beneath! then the arm, who can talk and has a terrible personality, starts giving underwear boy orders. oh yeah, and i totally forgot to mention the opera rendition of “happy birthday” played over a bunch of weird monsters terrorizing civilians as a snappily dressed executive decorates a birthday cake on his office desk.

welcome to the world of kamen rider OOO! (pronounced “ohs”--like cheeri”os”.)

^ oh, the sexual tension.

plot: there’s two other fictional worlds that OOO has brought to mind for me multiple times. the worldbuilding and unique magical elements of OOO combined with a heaping cupful of absurdity and a pinch of homoeroticism reminded me quite a bit of jojo’s bizarre adventure--crazy and ridiculous stuff happens, but it’s built up in such a way that you generally understand enough of what’s going on that it isn’t too confusing. furthermore, the themes of desire, evolution, beginnings, endings, and nihilism bring to mind the dilemmas at play in the shin megami tensei games--many of the platitudes expressed in OOO could’ve easily been quoted from lucifer...and others from smtiv’s white. you’ll want to learn the truths. you’ll want to see what happens next.

characters: despite what ankh may claim, this show is not about him, as evidenced by the fact that its title is not bird greed ankh. he sure is a Character, though. heisei kamen rider is great at giving its viewers morally iffy or outright bastardy characters so unique and interesting that you wind up cheering for as much as if not more than for the heroes, and ankh is a primo example of this.

i love him, but also fuck that guy.

eiji hino definitely fits into the tradition of himbo tokusatsu protagonists. he’s not a complete dumbass so much as he is a pollyanna. like others in said tradition, he’s endearing, and i believe in him. you learn a lot about him over the course of the story, and how you see him closer to the end may surprise you.

the cast is colorful and fun. hina izumi, the super strong girl from earlier, becomes inexorably entwined in this drama of medals and monsters when her beloved older brother shingo winds up possessed. shintaro gotou, a former police officer, now works on behalf of the mysterious kougami foundation with the aim of fighting evil and protecting the innocent--but isn’t so sure how he’s going to do so. akira date, a roguish bad boy doctor and self-professed slave to desire, takes on a very special job to fulfill his goal of earning 100,000,000 yen. more oddballs can be found in service of the kougami foundation as the story continues...

oh, and the greed. or greeed. i’ve seen it both ways. i believe i’ve said a bunch of times before that i like a toku series with good fucking villains--you learn who they are and what drives them, you get how what they’re doing fulfills those goals, and you see how they relate to those around them beyond the customary shit-talking of the heroes. not only that, but the greed are a novel concept with fascinating aesthetics. i greatly enjoyed learning their secrets.

fights: instrumental to every battle is the abilities OOO has access to, which are determined by the medals he has in his possession--ancient coins which act as the DNA of the greed, and grant OOO different animal-themed powers. he equips the cheetah medal, and he can move at great speeds. he equips the hawk medal, and he can see great distances. naturally, such powerful artifacts are in high demand--OOO and the greed are constantly stealing them from each other, meaning what he’s capable of can vary greatly from episode to episode. only being able to switch out different hands is so 1980.

abilities that change again and again throughout the series make for some awesomely unique fights. mix that up with the various greed and the unique monsters they create using the power of human desire--yummies--and the fights don’t get dull.

visuals: the fact that i started watching kamen rider w with @shylax while still watching OOO made me notice something interesting: OOO appears to be the point that neo-heisei kamen rider became the bright shiny lightshow we see today in zi-o. w, while not visually lacking, still has the sort of drab, overcast quality to it that i’ve also noticed in ryuki and decade. i don’t know the technical terms needed to describe this phenomenon more accurately--just that something changed in 2011, and kamen rider really brightened up.

OOO’s suit forms are colorful and bold. many of the characters are associated with color motifs. cous coussier, the eccentric costume cafe that becomes eiji’s base of operations, is constantly switching up its theme and outfits. and as always, toei provides lots of visually striking sets.

music: the unusual opening theme, “anything goes”, will definitely make an impression; i initially found it weird, but damn, it gets me fired up now. strong inserts and moving incidentals are included too. “anything goes”, along with inserts “time judged all” and “reverse re;birth” have their own music videos, the latter two featuring the characters singing.

if you actually read all that, it should come as no surprise that i had a blast watching kamen rider OOO and highly recommend it. kobayashi knocks it out of the goddamn park once again!

as for my next series...i’m looking at a few possibilities. kamen rider 555 is one, as it’s a series @shylax definitely enjoyed. i’m also curious about other yasuko kobayashi series, seeing as they’ve proven great investments of my time so far. i’ve also grown curious about metal hero after seeing the new space sheriff gavan on kyuranger, though i’m at a loss for where i’d start with it. in the meantime, however, i’m going to watch the OOO movies!

[quillify-tries-to-talk]

Here I am, to continue to this thread!!! Let's go

Rohan, the long-lost twin people forgot

Look like cinnamon rolls. Could actually kill you :)

Them, at sixteen: heists, stealing, hacking, making money

Me, aged sixteen: wut iz carbon chain? ;-;

Adopted by the evil genius mastermind who saw them for their amazing talent and eventually became brother figures to them (which they def won't admit)

Finally showing all weary students that STEM might prove useful someday *cheers, clapping* for questionable business *cheering stops o_O*

Start out as underestimated and ridiculed by everyone. End up happily swimming in money, comfortable in their own skin and abilities

(Ex)Military himbos

Look like they could kill you. Are actually cinnamon rolls.

Worked in the army once. A long time ago. It changed them fundamentally.

Had to spend some time in lull, thirsting and waiting for revenge because the cause of their problems had disappeared and was well-sheltered and secured while they weren't.

Oh, you're scared of them?? Because of how tall and burly they look? Oh, don't worry. At most times, they possess only two (2) braincells, honey.

Would you rather a) fly into rage when someone insults any mother in the world, even if it's a common swear now OR b) weakly try to defend your bigoted country from an edgy bunch of criminals, not realizing that brainwashing is a thing

Eventually tho, you realize that they're actually so sweet. Such a good friend. They try their best to learn from their mistakes and move forward. Loyal asf.

At least one of them made it to the end :)))))

Tammy aka Drama Princess

Material Girl blasts in the background as they enter, wearing their best clothes, nails perfect, faux feather boa hanging from their shoulders. What's the occassion, you ask :0 oh nothing. They just felt like dressing up on a weekday

No seriously someone draw these two side by side in sparkling red dresses. I will love you forever

FOOD ENTHUSIASTS!!!! (HC that they sit down in some pretty café to swap cakes and waffles and Indian street food because Nina would love it, I'm sure. And they gossip about their dumbass found family and how much everyone loves them)

Actually you wouldn't guess it but they're the mom friend. All the sparkle and shine hides an incredibly kind heart and they care so much about their friends, and constantly check up on the others, even the evil mastermind who supposedly needs no one -_-

Also can we please discuss if Tammy had some neuro-muscular disorder that Bollywood wrote off as "lmao daure" -_-

ChaosTM

Being random is a form of art and they are Picasso :)

One (1) braincell that gets uneasy when things start going a bit peacefully. Solution: chaos!! *cheers*

Life of the party!! Everyone loves them for the drama they bring. Ask them to pull a crazy stunt and they will gladly do so

To everyone's immense surprise, broody evil mastermind genius dude likes them :0 When everyone wonders if Chaos can do it, mastermind's faith never wavers goddammit, mastermind, would it kill you to show affection for them once

Actually, a very loyal friend. Would go to hell and back for them. Would trust the other person with all their heart.

Careful tho. They have emotions too. They're not just happy troublemakers.

Battling addictions (alcohol, gambling) i will not launch into an essay on why Bollywood needs to do better mental illness portrayals. not today! please!

Would do anything for their parents (Thank you, Leigh, for giving us a good parental figure. And, Bollywood, why don't we talk about how we didn't give Nandu any closure after that one throwaway line about how he's moving all mountains as a middle-class man to afford treatment for his sick mother -_-)

Are often treated as side character comic relief by people when they aren't.

Hence, proved!! Happy New Year is SoC on crack. Farah Khan is actually Leigh Bardugo's clone o_0

Happy New Year is basically Six of Crows on crack: a thread

by @quillify-tries-to-talk and me-

So basically we had this conversation which led us to make this post, so ladkimalik of us 🤪 so basically Farah Khan either was inspired by Six of Crows or she's a Leigh Bardugo clone (conspiracy theory so hear me out-)

Charlie, the Walmart Kaz:

Scheming face™

Really smart but idiots when it comes to confessing to their crush

King of messing up their relationship, khudki ukhaadne pe they are hell bent

Blinded by vengeance at times

Have a vendetta against the person who indirectly caused their father figure's death

Really hot-

Mohini, an Inej clone really:

They're literally both SO GRACEFUL AND AMAZING AND BEAUTIFUL im so gay

They're both so amazing at what they do

Kick ass, take names

Both forced into doing things they against their will to survive :'(

The heart of the group <3 true to their faith

Super hot

Charan Grover, who was Pekka before Pekka Pekka'd:

I am not sorry for that joke

Both betrayed the father figure of the mastermind

Asshole really

Greedy businessmen who get dethroned by people they wronged, not recognising them till the climax

Wierd ass beards (in the show)

[m-herra]

🖊+Helex and Elsinaire?

Omg i forgot about these

Edit: I stg tumblr doesn't post right.

Helex Duilenus

A guard from Cyrodiil training under Commander Maro to guard the Emperor Titus Mede II

Tries very hard to be a good imperial soldier and guard but maybe a bit too hard, he's soon sent to stay with Whiterun Guards Elsinaire and Lovionl Adus to learn how to actually be a likeable guard

Tbh he's pretty young so its a bit understandable why he's trying to be "by the book" but also he's a bit of a bitch about it

Has had multiple run ins with criminal factions and since this is his first time meeting them he has no fucking clue that they were criminals. Example: he's good friends with S'agh, a known Vampire Lord with ties to both Thieves Guild and Dark Brotherhood. It's known and quite obvious because no one tries to do anything but Helex is that dense

Smol

Used to crush on a Bosmer named Applewind but was informed that A) he's not interested and B) Old enough to be his great grandfather

He's also a bit of a ditz/gets lost in the clouds a lot, Commander Maro gave him a task to find a prisoner and he still hasn't realized that it was to get him out of Dragon Bridge

To give an idea of his age, he's about 18-19, no one's really sure which but he's an adult at least? Here's a sword go stab something you little disaster

Has no idea what gender he is but leans towards masculine for now

He legit thought Applewind was a girl (and that apparently happened often to the bosmer) and was left shut inside until he got his head together and realized it really didn't matter the gender he just has a type. (And that is anyone who could probably pick him up so that's... more than half of Skyrim)

Has a cream coloured horse named Mara, and another brown horse named Dibella. He adores both. (Old picture but eh)

Can and will die for a doggo, if his death would benefit them in anyway then it might happen

Doesn't have a lot of restraint yet but is working on via Inigo and his braincell (where Inigo got it is unclear, investigation is underway)

Would die for Kharjo bc Kharjo is a good pal.

Despite being shunned and punished for using Magic when he was younger, he has a talent for it.

May or may not be a dragonborn but not like the others. Instead of a Dragon Soul, he has Dragon Blood, and we can thank Sanguine's shenanigans and a Priest for that.

No seriously he's fucking tiny but not like, that tiny, he's more or less a twig so Skyrim Citizens could accidently snap him in half if they aren't careful be gentle with the baby

Elsinaire Adus

He's a vampire thanks to his Grandfather (who died shortly before the events of tes4) and thankfully didn't have to be diseased or deal with Moldy Bitch Balls (he still hates him for what he did to Lamae and his Grandfather he will not hesitate)

Somehow, and I stress the sheer luck of this, evaded being found out by: his superiors back in Cyrodiil, Several Vigilants of Stendarr, the fucking Dawnguard, at least two of the Dovahkiin (tbf, Milonee thought it was an elf thing and Daro'suna is just straight up a dumbass sometimes), and for a short period of time he somehow convinced a fellow Whiterun guard that he wasn't, while he was caught feeding. He's either using vampire powers unknowingly or he's that convincing (or everyone failed several spot checks but his brother helped too)

Joined the Volkihar Vampires to see if he could control his Vampirism but later found out that not only did he have to deal with M*lag B*l, he was lied to and later hypnotised by Harkon to turn on his family and friends. Thankfully S'agh, Lovionl, and Daro'suna literally knocked sense into him (via Lovionl and his love of Warhammers and Vibe Checks)

He's taller than most but is small for an altmer, although this is a family thing, as his Grandmother is actually shorter than him and always has been. It should be noted that there has been no other races involved in his lineage that would be able to affect his height.

Dating a Companion named Metsine Wild-Blade and by the nine he's in love. They get along well but needed some outside assistance (read: counseling) after the Volkihar thing. She can also carry him and the Werewolf brothers so he's very much happy that she can handle herself should something bad happens (also werewolf cuddles are best cuddles you cam fight me on this)

Is in a poly with Metsine (Werewolf GF), Joshabhi (Magic Werecat BF), Mikaer (Musical Himbo BF), and Caysion (Argonian GF) and they get along swell.

Is the sole brunette in a family of Platinum Blondes (his brother used to be brunette but it lightened ever since Cyrodiil)

Got chewed out (along with his brother) by his mom and dad for entering an Oblivion Gate during that crisis, they also were praised because they managed to not only locate the hok (or at least local anime boy Farin Phirois) but save his life and provide some damn good backup while they climbed the tower. It was still idiotic and they deserved the scolding because they were told not to by multiple people but also was told by Farin himself to skedaddle before he realized the brothers were stubborn and lethally stupid but also dangerously brave.

Was trained by his father on combat while his mother taught magic

Hates the Thalmor with a passion and has stolen their clothes before from corpese. Admittedly, it comes in handy when they have to fool them because Thalmor share a braincell and half the time it's stolen by Ji'athra for shits and giggles

He prefers his elven armor over normal guard armor, and wears the thalmor robes underneath for the benefits and quick switch for trickery. Also because he travels a lot and seeing a guard in uniform will draw trouble.

Uses a Sword and Shield gifted to him by his Father but also cannot use a bow to save his life, thankfully, his teammates usually can or have it covered otherwise

Befriended a pair of Nord brothers in Solitude, but when Elsinaire and Lovionl Adus and Hildggr and Sorpr Arrow-Sword get together chaos can and will ensue. That's usually what happens when you pair the sons of a Daedric Prince of Madness (their mother) and two Sheogorath worshippers. Sheo would be proud.

Is training Helex on how to fucking chill and maybe learn to not be so tense.

Was assisted by a young Ji'athra on the way to Windhelm after he found the brothers on the run from Thalmor Agents, a very determined Vigilant of Stendarr who isn't an idiot, and a Werewolf. And this is after they found out their house was on fire. Big Oof

Has been hit by Lovionl's Warhammer many times and somehow has yet to show any ill effects

Carries a few bottles of blood (courtesy of fellow vamps Serana and S'agh) so he doesnt have to feed on people.

Cannot be cured of his Vampirism due to the nature of it. It should also be noted that Lovionl isn't affected by this (but he's about as pale) but then again, he has a whole nother set of issues that we don't have time to unpack.

Outside of Vampirism, he's pale as fuck and even if he wasnt a vampire the sun would be his worse enemy.

According to an obviously lying Lovionl, he's allergic to clouds and cloud magic. (How this managed to work is incredible)

He is actually allergic to fish, which is disappointing because it smells delicious but he doesnt want to be lethally stupid and eat it.

After a set of events involving badass parents, a lost dunmer lady (aka Auntie Gabelie), and several Daedric Princes of Madness and their Artifacts, he now has custody of the main villain of that mess who he intends to raise right and so they don't try to kidnap people from their parents because of what happened during the Oblivion crisis (long story short his mom and some other elf ladies found the khajiit child, cared for them, and were forced to watch as Mehrunes Dagon outright stole the kid, they didn't understand why they didnt save them so they were angry. They didn't age in Oblivion and they're still kitten aged.)

Wants a dog but tbh Metsine and Joshabhi leave enough hair from shedding so maybe not. (Also, not a lot of dogs are available rn)

"Supports" the Empire because the alternative is Windhelm's Polite Citizens And Welcoming Aura. Given the chance, he would fucking deck Tullius and doesn't even need to be prompted to throw down with Mr. Stormcloak and Galmar. None at all. It's on sight really.

[uncreativc]

*  ♡ ╰  wong yukhei. twenty three. cismale + he/him  ⁄   any time kendal zheng is in the test kitchen they play boogie by brockhampton. the leo sign has been working at that’s amore for two years as a sugar rusher. since then the ebullient has built a reputation for being goofy & bold but also childish & stubborn. could that be the the reason why their palate enjoys shrimp and pb & j sandwiches ? but it for sure explains why crude drawings on recipes, worn baseball hats, weird late night texts, being loudest person at a party remind me of them. ☇ mars. 18+. she/they. est.

yeah yeah go ahead and say it mars late mars never on time :rolls_eyes:. mars doesnt even know the concept of time so yeah thats who i am and yeah i orbit around nothing thats why my names mars. this is my Himbo kendal no relation to jenner but he might joke about being part of the kardashians. this took way longer than i wanted it too but thats okay watched a video the other day that was doing pokemon races and shuckle won so :D below will be like a semblance of a bio

P I N T E R E S T   |  D O S S I E R 

google searches include: how many teeth do i have, are we running out of almonds, why do people eat corn off the cob, how much would a pyramid cost, am i in a pyramid scheme, if you die on an operating table and come back to life is your birthday changed?

SUUUUPER competitve if there is challenge videos coming out you know hes trying to get in on that. stuck a marble up his nose once to prove he could do it put an entire cupcake in his massive ass mouth no one would stop him. ATE A SPOONFUL OF WASABI FOR WHAT?!

kendal is a middle child and it defintiely shows, their dumbass chaotic nature was definitely born out of being neglected and forgotten about. living in a shadow wasnt the greatest for them and then not even getting the attention of being a baby for long by his moms did their best to be equal with them all but kendal felt ****it****. they play it off as just being goofy and playful most of the time but he can get up to some real trouble when he feels like it. mostly out of just making bad decisions

too much energy - talks too much and is bad for interrupting he generally doesnt really have anything of use to add to a conversation other than weird stories, strange questions, and weird conspiracy theories but hes fun and loud and loves to be the centre of attention. this can be annoying honesly hes friendly and loyal he’d never turn someone down till the day he dies its just... bro is a lot to deal with sometimes hes so much of a loud ass clown and go against clearly something you told him not to do like jump up on a table leave a complete mess in the kitchen squeeze toothpaste in the middle of the tube. you know shit like that.

definitely is scared easily like you could easily scare him in the kitchen hes scared of the most stupid things like dark mirrors, his hair blowing off his body and landing on a dead body and him becoming a suspect for a murder. 

he loooooves camping which is kinda funny for someone who gets scared about the most irrational things. does he think a bear is gonna come and rip his tent apart? yeah probably but he still likes it. defintiely went to boy scouts growing up earned a lot of badges learned how to tie knots you know the usual. only had his moms cheat and make him patches like... once or twice. 

probably forgot it was your birthday or that you invited him out to something. you know the nana you have that never remembers and just sends random gifts and they say happy birthday. yeah thats him.

a little oblivious he wont know if youve caught feelings for him and assumes everything is just playful until otherwise told thats what he gets for flirting too much without even realizing. it gets him into trouble because people think they have something and he’s just like :O i thought we were just bros. maybe if he wasnt so flirty and dumb this wouldnt be a problem but its not going to stop him any time soon. hes very casually flirty with everyone he meets honestly. hes just a goof and a lot of times that shit comes off as super flirting and if you think it is.... youre right!

hes definitely more of a house party kind of guy or get his and sit on the back porch and launch water ballooons at a friend down on the ground. yeah he probably got a concussion from that once because he didnt realize that whiplash is a thing like a true idiot and it definitely knocked him out cold.

has a peanut allergy jokes about either living by the sword that he does not have but swears that he does or die by his peanut allergy.

likes mood rings pokemon cards and worm on a string. yes hes made people worm on a string before as pretty much a friendship bracelet. imagine a dude at a party blasted out of his mind coming up to you and handing you a worm on a string and saying youre his friend and that you deserve this. 

hes a cowboy grew up in the south and definitely plays that up loves dirt biking rock climbing and pretty much everything that doesnt entirely involve working on his farm like he doesnt like horses but does like goats you know? 

asked for an extension through email on his wiiu because he lost his computer somewhere

organized mess. you know that chapstick you dropped like three weeks ago he left it there because he knows exactly where it is. like he could just keep things tidy but what would be the fun in that. doesnt follow recipes like ever just kind of tries to eyeball and remember how things were made

WANTED CONS 

tinder date/ set ups that either led to something or didnt

good friend who hacked their instagram one night and started responding to dms just funny doesnt have to been anything crude. they do it to each other some nights like just hang out

hookups. good or bad. one night stand or on going.

party friends he gave them a worm on a string or something got really fucked up and they tried to make like exactly mcdonlds nuggets the boot ones all night

they stole something from your muse ( bike, spatula, idk anything )  and they caught them LSMDLSMDLMDSLM

they stayed up one night and tried to fully solve a cold case even went to the library so late that they got kicked out. it was a long night full of energy drinks and crazy theories. they still do this sometimes now.

crushes they can be mutual or one sided i really dont mind. like i said before danny kind of gets crushes really easily and they kind of just dissapear out of nowhere as well but like we could work something out

exes good bad or indifferent i really dont mind

old childhod friends could be from summer camp or an old teammate when he used to play more sports, could be literally anything i am down i love past connects 

roommates PLEASE

made edibles that were too strong together ended fucking them over for days

they movie hoped or dine and dashed together like i really dont mind just something funny 

someone he makes videos with id love to brainstorm a really stupid like alt series with another sugar rusher or maybe not even a sugar rusher im down for anything 

rock climbing/paint ball/laser tag friends? video games like smash or something theyre super competitve together 

im good for plotting anything