#i fixed it sob
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fuckedmutt · 6 months ago
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asking a cute puppy increasingly invasive questions and watching them squirm. Come on puppy, you want to be good, don’t you? Tell me how you like to touch yourself. Oh baby, you’re going to need to tell me in more detail than that! How else am I going to be able to replicate it?
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going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:
There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’
like wow babe. good fucking point
#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point#not a shitpost#cptsd#and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer#the truth is i know why i wasn't loved#i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings#i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing#i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance#the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it#i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer#and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!!#because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that!#it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs!#so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't.#when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to#you can look for answers and reasons and explanations#but that's not actually going to FIX your situation.#and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job)#because you don't need answers--you need a new situation#*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme*#and yes. walking out isn't always possible.#but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap.#stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air#new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust#like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be#when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole
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awesomegena · 6 months ago
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HSR SPOILERS
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i can fix them
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and argenthill oldmen yaoi bonus……..
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lightbulb-warning · 1 year ago
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saimatsu week day 3 not on day 3: reunion
they do be sobbing
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l1f3l · 2 months ago
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The holy trinity.... god herself and the yaoi/yuri jesi.......
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suntails · 2 years ago
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progression
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morii-moth · 1 year ago
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"this is me on day one of NO rendog !!"
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0800-p1llowhump3r · 1 month ago
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need to kiss your cock through your underwear until there's a noticeable wet patch from my drool. let me rub my face against your bulge as I inhale your scent. hold my lips open and push your covered crotch back into my hot, wet mouth... please.
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gunsatthaphan · 8 months ago
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the only straight thing about Karan: his priorities 💅🏻
↳ requested by anonymous ♡ 
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maibeloved · 2 years ago
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Day one of coping bc no more wob Wednesday 😞
+ working buddies giving a smooch 😚
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territorial-utopia · 4 months ago
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Huzzah! It's birthday time! I'm slowly accumulating more and more things I like (latest additions this vest I made and a travel typewriter! Still need to fix the latter one though)
Sure has been a year.
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sittinginthecorneralone · 2 months ago
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Yall don’t fw season 2 episode 5 Victoria Neuman like I do🤕
Like the vibe? The fit? The hair? (Her hair always eats tho) rrughrurug I LOVE HER☹️
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scissorcraft · 6 months ago
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i'm trying to figure out a way to draw him i'm happy with............ i lvoe him....
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demonir · 6 months ago
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I like them a whole lot 💜
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blocky-tides · 7 months ago
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squiddo; what more is there to death but life and friends?
for @aliteral-ghost | beta'd by @sloth-sloth-sloth
herman melville / @ssseriema / miranda july / vladimir nabokov / unknown / anne carson / @gremnda / unknown / christina marie brown / jon kabat-zinn / @chimsartblog / hera lindsay bird /adrienne rich / black sails / @mandydoodles / hanya yanagihara / anne carson / erha / gennrose nethercott / @aski-qing / virginia woolf / tony kushner
taglist: @idontreallyexistyet | @routeriver
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skyenish · 7 months ago
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The way that Kalim genuinely loves Jamil and holds on to him no matter what, even after book 4.
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