#i finished the whole show in like 3 or 4 days i got so invested they paced it well it was interesting the actors were so good

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

Currently Watching - November

aka The Masterlist

Because I love a good little list - in alphabetical order! 😊

Regularly updated during the month, latest update 30.11.2023

A little link to my favorite bl-tropes-collection 💙

Here you can find all of my gifs.

And if you want to show me something you think I might like, just let me know with #josistag

At the end you can have a look at what we can expect in November with MDL links and a link for the trailer (if avaible). There are 18 coming up series this november... Sleep I love you, but we are going seperate ways this month!

This is guaranteed to contain spoilers!

1. 7 Days before Valentine (1/12 WeTV)

Hm... This was not what I expected. The acting was a little bit over the top. I don't know if I can stand Sunshine. The feeling this first episode gave me was kinda off. I don't know. Right now I don't know if I want to keep watching it.

2. Bake me please (2/6 on Gaga)

This series is so good! I really like Ohm and Guide together. Guide is such a sunshine and I like his character! This series deals with a lot of baking and childhood trauma and a sunshine and grumpy main couple and I love it!

3. Boys Like Boys (8/10 on Gaga)

Okay, I am officially invested! The story of eight taiwanese men who are on the search for love. It is messy and funny and of course I have my favorites! I wish I had waited for the show to finish, because then I could have watched the final and know if I can keep my hopes up or not... And there are twists and turns and some butterflies and I can't wait for the next episode.

4. Cooking Crush (1/12 on Youtube)

I have to admit beside Not Me, I am not the biggest fan of OffGun. Their slapstick humour is just not mine. I can't get the right feeling for this series right now. I will wait and see how it turns out with more episodes...

5. Last Twilight (3/12 on Youtube)

I got fucking emotional when Mhok read from The Little Prince and they had this whole big conversation through the book and I am in tears just thinking about it. The Little Prince is very special for me.

6. Pit Babe (2/13 on Youtube)

Ladies and Gentlemen! We have an Omegaverse! I am still in shock! I usually don't dive into the omegaverse, but I did read some webtoons. I am curious how they'll play it out. The first episode... I don't understand shit! I have no clue, what is going on. There are intrigues going on and I don't trust Charlie at the moment. But I couldn't care less because: Pavel! He could just sit there or walk in his driver's uniform and I would be happy!

7. Playboyy (3/14 on Gaga)

I am intrigued! I needed to call my best friend and tell her about what I have seen. Not just the amount of sex and masturbation and wet dreams, but the way it is filmed. I am intruígued! It looks like a romantic dream combined with porn. And I am looking forward to next week and the weeks to come, because it is so interesting!

8. The Sign (1/12 on Youtube)

I am already in love with this series! Mystical elements, a good chemistry between the actors, some fighting, naked men... What else could I wish for... Oh yeah, and an accidental kiss 😂 But I still enjoyed it so much! And I can't wait fot next week!

9. Twins (4/12 on Gaga)

I don't know what it is. The story is... nothing special. The acting is okayish. Sprite's/Zee's facial expression need some time to get used to. And yet, I like this show! It is one of my most anticipated watches of the week. I like First and I LOVE enemies to lovers 😅 It is one of my weak spots!

Finished in November

Series

1. I feel you linger in the air (12/12 on Gaga)

This is one of my favorite series from this year, if not the best one! It is such a good and well written story about love and building a home, trusting in love and people again, fight against the rules and love the people who deserve your love. I am not as heartbroken than I thought, but I miss them already, like five minutes after it ended. Jom and Yai's love is a love that can overcome all kinds of barriers like time and I love that so much! I love this series so so much! And they confirmed a second season? Now I am afraid and excited? A true 10 out of 10!

2. Dangerous Romance (12/12 on Youtube)

I like Perth and Chimon together, even though their characters can be a little bit cheesy or bromancy. Over all I liked the series, even though I was searching for the danger in the romance. It lost a litle bit of the tension in its second half. Not a bad series, but also nothing special. A solid 7 out of 10.

3. Kimi to Nara Koi wo Shite Mite mo / If it's with you (5/5 on Gaga)

It is sweet and has the typical japanese vibe, you know? The crickets and circades are very much present in the the background and it feels kind of cosy. My japanese vibe. The story itself is sweet. I like the fact that the Amane is open and sure about his sexuality, even though he has experienced homophobia and tries to hide behind a smiling mask. This is a really wholesome watch for the coming darker days. I gave it a 9 out of 10.

4. Kiseki: Dear to me (12/13 on Viki and Gaga)

Okay, this series started strong for me and got really messy and lame in the second half... Well, way before this to be honest. The only reason I was watching in the end were Ai Di and Chen Yi. Their relationship was such a great add up to this mess. Yes, it was messy and I wish they would have communicated earlier, but I love their tenderness and their love in the end. The main couple... I really couldn't care less in the end. And the story was... not that interesting and a little bit confusing at times. Overall an 7,5 out of 10 and that's because of Ai Di and Cen Yi.

5. You are mine (10/10 on Viki and Gaga)

The lovestory between a very demanding chef, who terrorise his employees and his easygoing new male secretary who can give good massages. And the lack of communication is really bothering me at this point. Instead of just going after your secretary, perhaps try and talk to him about your feelings? Argh... Okay, the last episode was just a display of affection and fluff and it was really cute. But it couldn't help a bad series to become a good one. They can kiss, yes, but overall it was not that good. So just a 5,5 out of 10 for me.

6. A Breeze Of Love (8/8 on iQiyi)

I love this one! It is short and cute and for once I understand the problem. The execution was a little whacky, but hey, I really don't care because it was just that cute! The two mains have very good chemistry and are believable. And I am totally in love with them. It has sport and kind of enemies to lovers so checks for me and it is korean. Yeah, that is definitely worth a watch and I guess I will rewatch it from time to time, whenever I need something wholesome and cute. A 10 out of 10 for me.

7. One Room Angel (6/6 on Gaga)

It started out as a very depressing series. It kept this feeling through the whole show, but it never said, that it has to be like that forever. There were always hints, that life can get better. That you are enough and that you are worth it, worth of living, worth of loving and worth of being loved. I mean it ended with this line: I received and was able to give. Even someone like me had something I can do. So probably, life isn't so bad." And that was the point where I lost it completely. A solid 8 out of 10 for me.

Movie

1. Aki wa Haru to Gohan wo Tabetai

This one is a sweet and quiet movie. Well the character Aki is not that quiet, but in this movie there is not that much drama or angst. It is stacked with food and I got so hungry watching it! The food really looks delicious! It is not a bromance. You definitely can see that these two love each other and there are so many hints, that they want to spend the rest of their lives together. And as far as I know there should be a second movie. Fingers crossed! For me a solid 7,5 out of 10

Short Film

Dropped/On-Hold in November

Looking forward to in November

Twins - MDL - Trailer (Nov 3rd on GagaOOLala)

Boy Drenched in Water - MDL (Nov 8th on GagaOOLala)

A Breeze Of Love - MDL - Trailer (Nov 10th on iQiyi)

Last Twilight - MDL - Trailer (Nov 10th on Youtube)

Middleman's Love - MDL - Trailer (Nov 10th on iQiyi)

Beyond the Star - MDL - Pilot (Nov 11th on iQiyi)

Aki wa Haru to Gohan wo Tabetai - MDL (Nov 15th on GagaOOLala)

Playboyy - MDL - Trailer (uncensored) - Trailer (censored) (Nov 16th on GagaOOLala)

Wheels and Axle - MDL (Nov 17th on TBA)

Pit Babe - MDL - Trailer (Nov 17th on iQiyi)

Bake Me Please - MDL - Teaser (Nov 19th on iQiyi / Gaga)

7 Days Before Valentine - MDL - Trailer (Nov 22nd on Youtube)

VIP Only - MDL - Teaser (Nov 24th on Viki & Gaga)

The Sign - MDL - Trailer (Nov 25th on Youtube)

Cooking Crush - MDL - Trailer (Nov 26th on Youtube)

The Whisperer - MDL - Trailer (Nov 26th TBA)

For Him - MDL - Pilot (Nov 30th on iQiyi)

Wuju Bakery - MDL - Trailer (TBA)

Night Dream - MDL (TBA)

Boyy Of God - MDL - Teaser (TBA)

[thereallivingded]

8 months

Nearly 8 months have passed since I blogged. Damn.

I apologize profusely if anyone was interested in my ramblings. I have zero excuses other than life got hard. Full time job. Which I hated profusely - not that I'm not going to be working full time again soon - tends to bring on crushing depression when I feel stuck in it. Which I did, and I was. When you are paid bi-weekly and you see that entire paycheck go to your cost of living.. well. It doesn't do good things to your psyche. Energy levels get low and all that extra you had energy for before gets used up with day to day survival. Getting out of bed. Getting to work. Feeding yourself. Cleaning your house. Squeezing in workout (a thing I do now).

It's not all bad I suppose. I've finally been able to interview for and obtain a position that will not only net me a raise but be closer to home. Hopefully, that should get me more free time to pursue the things I actually enjoy.

I'd like to say that in this time I've been able to tackle my backlog of Steam games. But. Well. BG3 happened. And I spent even more time in the game than I had in early access. It's maddening how much time I've sunk into Faerun. I have no regrets though.

The only thing really that's kept me from finishing my campaign - as I am in Act 3 - is my computer. I haven't upgraded the beast since 2020 or 2021-ish. And it's starting to show. My mobo is acting extraordinarily peculiar. Sometimes I'll walk away from my computer to come back a couple hours later and find it stuck in bios. Super fun. The connection to the mobo gets wiggled a little and everything pops back on. Super. However, anything heavy to run - like BG3 - tends to get very crash-y.

Again. Super.

T.T

AND. Due to my financial constraints because of the job I recently left, I was completely unable to fix this. I'm hoping with the advent of the new job, getting a few paychecks in to stabilize, I can rectify the problems. Hopefully.

I started a couple of fanfics for the first time ever. I am ridiculously shy about them. My writing skills have become so sodding rusty. The stories came to me while I was playing BG3 and I was compelled to write them down. Note now, that the frequency of updates directly reflects the time I have to invest in them. So keep that in mind.

Be gentle on me here lol!

I have been able to get some gaming done. I have ceased playing Back 4 Blood, as it became no longer supported by its dev team. A sad move really. The gaming industry as a whole has become this parasitic beast. Devs work on a game for an extremely limited amount of time and abandon it the moment it becomes less lucrative than their board of directors care for.

There is a trend towards monetization of minutiae and online play in inappropriate genres, that has become an insidious infection in the game industry. It robs us of good game development. There's this mentality of more, more, now that's just slow poison to the whole beast. It makes everything very same-y and boring.

Which is why I strive at this point in my life, to not give money to the companies which I feel are most guilty of this. The only way to make these corporations listen is to hit them in the $. As such I will probably be carefully curating any games I discuss or mention on this blog from here on. My next post will likely be discussing a visual novel I've spent some time in that I equal parts enjoyed and became frustrated with. So that's in the pipeline. Until then keep to the lights lovies. <3

[gayer-than-jun-kurosu]

WEEK 1 HIGHLIGHTS

Before anything else, I want to thank everyone for getting so invested in these silly polls! I know it's a little bit of a joke poll series given the whole conceit, but It's been very fun to see people get invested, post their propaganda, and more!

Below the cut I'll put my personal highlights from the various week 1 match-ups! I'll be going a bit out of order just to keep the more propaganda-heavy tournament at the bottom of the post.

Now, the Jun Kurosu VS. Ann Takamaki match-up didn't garner any real propaganda to highlight, but I just wanted to shout out the fact that Ann ended the fight with over a fifth of the votes! She really gave it her all against a behemoth of a contender! She's truly in love with Shiho and I feel that in my heart. Ann finished with 44/192 votes, sitting at 22.9% of the votes. Her poll received 3 notes, all of which were likes.

Jun Kurosu VS. Mitsuo Kubo This one got a little interesting! Despite the low notes count, Mitsuo's poll had the second most votes of any poll, only second to Aigis! Now, unfortunately he also was most overwhelmingly voted not as gay as Jun, but he is certainly a he/it in my mind as someone who has not interacted at all with P4. RIP king... Now, onto the silly comments and propaganda for him!

Mitsuo finished with 14/250 votes, sitting at 5.6% of the votes. His poll received 9 notes, with 1 reply, 4 reblogs, and 4 likes.

Jun Kurosu VS. Anna Yoshizaka Anna also lacked any propaganda, but she managed to hold onto the closest contest against Jun of any contestant besides Aigis! Congrats to canon wlw! Gotta love the onscreen gay kiss. Love her. Anna finished with 58/157 votes, sitting at 36.9% of the votes. Her poll received 5 notes, with 1 reblog and 4 likes.

Jun Kurosu VS. Junpei Iori Junpei, much like Mitsuo, got kinda super wrecked in his poll. Yet another breakback tartarus fail, unfortunately. He will remain femme-leaning bi in my heart though regardless. Now onto the only piece of propaganda he received in the notes (although it's really anti-propaganda, lmao).

Junpei finished with 13/208 votes, sitting at 6.3% of the votes. His poll received 3 notes, with 1 reply and 2 likes.

Jun Kurosu VS. Philemon Philemon's gay divorce was of course not enough to combat the power of gay dating and longing from Jun. RIP uninvolved king. Philemon finished with 17/170 votes, sitting at 10% of the votes. His poll received 3 notes, all of which were likes.

Jun Kurosu VS. Aigis And now. Onto the behemoth this poll became. Holy shit. Aigis's poll alone brought so many of you to this blog! She gave Jun a real fight, and gave it her all- she even held the lead over him on the first day! This was truly a fight for the ages, and the notes, propaganda, and general interactions show it. To all of you who discovered this silly little blog through this poll specifically- thank you for taking the time to reblog it and get people interested! I'm just beyond amazed at how much people have gotten into this whole poll series in so little time. So thank you. :] And now, onto the propaganda and other messages! There are.... a lot, haha!

Whew! That was a lot. Aigis really did almost beat Jun out, and she's an amazing and incredible canon nonbinary bisexual girl! Even if she didn't beat Jun in this silly poll, she can absolutely win in your hearts <3. And now... the stats!

Aigis finished the poll with a whopping 274/591 votes, a grand total of 46.4% of the votes! Likewise, her poll received 54 notes, which was made up of 3 replies, 26 reblogs, and 25 likes. Aigis also had the most submissions of any character in the preliminary survery, with 4 nominations as opposed to all other contestants only having 1 nomination. All 4 nominations were submitted before the polls began.

And that's all there is to Week 1! Thank you all for taking part in these silly polls!

If you've read this far, I also want to thank you for taking the time to read the little bit of extra work I've put into getting the fun bits of the first week of polls! Because things are already blowing up with the Hamuko poll, I will probably be more particular with my choices when I do the Week 2 lookback, but I hope everyone is happy to see their additions to all the polls from Week 1 on this post!

As a bonus for reading this far, let me give you all a little teaser: I already have Week 3's lineup prepared, and it includes the most requested competitor, with a whopping 5 submissions at the time of writing this, beating out even Aigis! I hope you all are excited to see them next week! And once again good luck to all your favs in Week 2 and the upcoming weeks!

[sea-dukes-assistant]

✨ 2022 Writing Year In Review ✨

1. Number of stories posted to AO3:  4, and 2 chapters to existing work

2. Word count posted for the year: LOL I'm not counting that shit.

3. Fandoms I wrote for: British royalty RPF, The Crown

4. Pairings: Prince Philip/myself, sometimes Prince Philip/Queen Elizabeth II

5. Story with the most:

Kudos: The DTF Chronicles, strangely enough

Bookmarks: The obligatory uniform kink piece, with a whole ass 1 bookmark (bless)

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why): The uniform kink story, because I feel it captures the dynamic he and I have very well. Also it's the very definition of a horny masterpiece in my opinion. It's got feels and great sex while still managing to be well written. As of yet, my best, I think.

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why): My re-works of The Crown episodes. I started it as a creative exercise but now I just feel silly doing it at all. It's just...a difficult on for me to work with for a variety of reasons.

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received:  

I don't have many to choose from, to be honest. One that keeps me feeling positive about doing this though is this one: "See this is why I enjoy this story so much. You write out things that are incredibly difficult for me to even contemplate thinking about - and I'm talking honest feels, not sexy-times. I really admire the courage it must take. More than I can say." - @yeet-didnt-start-the-fire

9. A time when writing was really, really hard: 

This past summer. There was a lot of thinly veiled homophobia and bullying, including degrading this all to a "fetish," and personal investment/disturbing amount of interest in my actual sex life because women deep down can't accept me feeling the way I do about him. Was one thing of many that put me into a depressive state (along with my trauma-versary and my grandmother's death day...on my birthday).

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: 

It's neither, but this one. First time introducing a man not Sea Duke into it, and I was incredibly nervous with writing/posting what basically was a horny dream I had. I think it ended up being the most explicit I'd written.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing:  

This chapter of Explain Your Bullshit: The Fucking Canon.

12. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I got better at writing the sexytimes!

13. How do you hope to grow next year:  

 I don't know...I may not even write anything.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):   

@yeet-didnt-start-the-fire @betweenfrocksandbooks

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:  

I wrote a thing to process the Queen's death, but I can't seem to find it in my archive here to link. I didn't post it on AO3.

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:  

Nothing new to share, no. Just...write your shit, queen/king.

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: I have lot I'd like to add to. I have a lot I'd like to finish, one of which being a work exploring another slight kink I have with him. There are a few I'd like to start. I expect nothing to happen with any of these, because lately, writing has brought more bullshit than interest.

[dont-call-me-algernon]

Ty so much @circeancity​ for the tag!! Five of my favorite fics I’ve written in no particular order, let’s go (under the cut because it got LONG)

1. Under False Pretenses

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29250057/chapters/71823882

Starting with an old-ish but gold. As far as I know, this was the first falsepretensesshipping fic ever posted to the Ao3 (that was tagged as such, at least) and, as silly as it sounds, I like to carry it like a fandom badge of honor of sorts. Not only am I very fond of the dynamic I’ve bult between Grimsley and Colress in this fic, but I’m also kind of proud of having been able to finish it at all, considering it’s a 30K multichapter fic. It might not seem that impressive to some but, seeing how I’m more used to writing 4-6K one shots, it definitely is for me.

2. All the Wrong Questions

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18758503/chapters/44499454

Since we’re on the topic of older works – this is my favorite wormfic I’ve written AND one of my favorite fics I’ve written in general. I still really like the way I managed to take advantage of the good old “5 times + 1” trope and of the fact I’m usually only able to write shorter one shots to showcase the progression of the characters’ relationship over time through brief but meaningful interactions. Add to that the fact that it focuses on another rare pair I’m very fond of despite not having written fic about in a while and yeah!

3. Last Stop, End of the Line

https://archiveofourown.org/works/46902853

Much more recent and not just a rare pair but also a rare fandom as well, with this one shot being it set in the Bullet Train the-book-not-the-movie universe. Funny thing is, I actually didn’t like the canon material that much on a first read because of skewed expectations (marketing promoting it as a straight-up thriller when it’s more of a dark comedy). But when I went back to it almost a year later knowing what to expect, I ended up enjoying the chapters dedicated to Lemon and Tangerine so much that I had to give them the fix-it everyone lives treatment™️. Putting it on this list because I’m especially happy with how the bits and pieces of dialogue turned out. Figuring out their voices was surprisingly difficult, but I like to think that I eventually succeeded in doing their interactions, always swaying between comically serious and borderline nonsensical even in life-or-death situations in the original novel, some justice.

4. Things You Cannot Choose

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22321633/chapters/53318095

I would actually give this spot to my whole Gotham Daemon AU collection but, if I had to pick a single fic, it would definitely be this one. I could not not include my favorite daemon AU I’ve written so far, since I seem to end up writing one for almost every new fandom I get invested in, these days. This fic was a bit experimental for me as well, since, while most of my works tend to be shipping-oriented, and even though there is some hinted-at history between Penguin and Riddler in this one, the focus here is more on the found family side of things and on how these kinds of relationships could work in a world where your soul walks (or flies, or slithers) alongside you in the form of a talking animal with its own thoughts and opinions and who, whether you like it or not, can and WILL show the rest of the world a part of you you may be trying to keep hidden.

5. Parallel Thinking

https://archiveofourown.org/works/42578607

Rounding up the list with another rare pair because that’s one of my trademarks as a fic writer, apparently. Compared to the other works I’ve mentioned so far, I don’t have a lot to say about this one. It’s not particularly experimental nor does it involve any specific gimmick or trope – in fact, it’s just two somewhat morally corrupt people talking, for the most part. Basically nothing happens, and yet when I think back to it, I find I still like the atmosphere I tried to go for, I like the dialogue, I really like some of the POV character’s train of thoughts. I’m very fond of it, for whatever reason, and (at least so far) it’s been one of the rare fics I actually enjoy re-reading even months after I posted it.

Tagging whoever sees it and wants to give it a shot (highly recommend, tbh. It’s nice to force yourself to look back at and discuss the works you’re proud of instead of laser-focusing on all the things you’re not 100% happy with, for a change!)

[whoevenknows-things]

WIP Wednesday

I need to hold myself accountable if I'm ever going to finish writing this F1/FirstPrince fic. So here is a genuine copy and paste from the chapter I'm currently working on and hoping to have out this weekend. And yes, I really do leave notes like that to myself...

"There was a flurry of engineers around Alex and his car as he climbed out and headed straight to Nora and the wall of tv screens showing all of his data. Henry could see Alex was still very much in the zone and didn’t dare interrupt him and his process. It was still his best qualifying if the first 3 races of the year, but it was still below where Alex was hoping to be. Instead Henry turned back to watch the final session of qualifying. He was, after all, a board member for the whole Aston Martin team and they were still strong contenders with Seb out on track. It wouldn’t look good for Henry to be spending too much time with one driver over the other. As drivers set down their opening laps Seb’s name went purple on the screen as he shot up into provisional pole position. But as more and more cars set their laps the name in top spot was constantly switching between Seb, George Russell and Carlos Sainz as the last McLaren on track. Every lap was an improvement for every driver as the clock ran down on the session. In the end both George and Carlos bested Seb. But starting third on the grid was nothing to be sniffed at.

Filler paragraphs with Alex, Nora and Henry

Pre-race day shiz

The opening lap was eventful. By turn three of the first lap Charles LeClerc had been tapped from behind by Max Verstappen and spun off and out of the race. The safety car drove out and led the drivers over the next two laps as Charles’ car was rescued by a crane. 4 laps later and the safety car was out again when Albon spun out at a corner and had too much damage to make his own way back to the pit lane. Seb had fallen back a place to Ollie a Bearman and was now in 4th and off the podium. But Alex? Alex had actually made up a few places and was now in 9th and just inside the point scoring positions. There were still 51 laps to go so nothing was certain, but it was a sign that Alex was feeling good in the car at least. One lap later the stewards upgraded the safety car to a red flag which meant every car had to head back to their garages and clear the track while crew recovered Albon’s car. With other drivers’ pit stops Alex was in 8th as Nora called him back into the garage for the red flag. It wasn’t expected to be a long one so Alex stayed sitting in his car as he waited in his garage. Nora rushed over and ducked her head into the cockpit to talk to Alex, presumably updating their race strategy to react to the opening few laps and the chaos it had created. Henry loved races like this. Races like this with red flags and safety cars meant strategies had to change as some drivers got lucky or unlucky under these conditions. Races like this could produce unexpected results. As a long time fan Henry had always loved races like this. But as someone who was somewhat invested in Alex’s performance he knew a race like this could be a real opportunity for him. His crew used the red flag to change his tyres to the hardest compound meaning he wouldn’t need to make a pit stop and loose that time later in the race. Now it was just about how well Alex could drive and less about the strategy from the team."

I get too excited writing about the racing and now I need to go back and add the romance stuff. But here's what there is so far

[liopleurodean]

The Road So Far: Season Four

Well that was a ride.

Friendly reminder to check my tag #ashla chick flick moments to see my live commentary on every episode of Supernatural up through season 4 (so far), as well as the other 3 season recaps.

With that out of the way, let's talk about season 4.

Can I start with the poetry? If you gave me enough time, I could write a whole essay about the symmetry in this season. I mean, start with the obvious -- the titles of 4x01 Lazarus Rising and 4x22 Lucifer Rising (and don't get me started on comparing Dean to Lazarus, one of Jesus' closest friends. If you haven't read that story, please do. It adds so much). And I mean, all of the episode titles are on point this season. At least one Zeppelin song, a Peanuts reference, a Sesame Street reference (which I mentioned in my post about the episode, 4x18 The Monster at the End of This Book).

This season really highlighted how Sam and Dean have evolved in just four short years. Obviously there were extenuating circumstances to make them that way, but I feel like both characters were really stripped to their cores to see what makes them tick, and it's so fascinating to watch them react to what's happening around them. Dean is finally coming to see that his life actually has meaning, while Sam is falling apart from the life he never wanted. It's plain to see that neither of them wants to keep hunting, but season 4 has also provided plenty of evidence that hunting is undeniably in their blood.

It's also interesting to see how Azazel's plan fits into the greater storyline. I think I mentioned back in season 2 that his whole plot didn't make much sense on its own, and it's gratifying to see everything fall into place.

Once again, it feels like the writers are forcing Sam to be the main character, even though this season definitely has more Dean-centric episodes and Dean gets a lot more development and limelight. It's almost funny to think about.

Before I forget, I suppose I should pick my favorite episode. I do have to say, while this was my favorite season as a whole, none of the episodes really stand out to me as amazing. 4x06 Yellow Fever is a fan favorite, and I'm no exception, 4x17 It's A Terrible Life was incredibly light-hearted, which was much needed after On The Head of a Pin. 4x13 After School Special gets an honorable mention, but it's not on the same level as the other two. My all-time favorite episode remains to be 1x12 Faith, which surprises even me because I'm generally not a fan of overly emotional and heavy media. I tend to prefer more lighthearted stories, but Faith really hits. I've already said that 4 is my favorite season, even if the individual episodes were a bit lacking. I think I preferred the overarching plotline of this season over others; it had much higher stakes and I was much more invested in what was happening. I really felt more emotional about certain plot beats and the characters felt a lot more real. I sped through this season pretty quickly, at least in terms of how many watch-days it took (as opposed to total elapsed time since the last season). It helps that I was on a road trip, so I got a lot of time in the car, but I think I would have finished quickly anyways because the story was so riveting.

This season we got to meet Cas! I have to admit, he wasn't exactly what I was expecting. Then again, neither were Sam and Dean. I feel like I simultaneously know so much and so little about Cas compared to the two brothers, but that'll change as I get deeper into the show.

While I'm not a Destiel shipper (I know. But Dean is Ben's dad and I will fight you) I can definitely see where they're coming from. I'll probably keep making comments on it as I see it, because it really is an interesting take that could add to the show. As it is, it's exciting to see Cas evolve into a member of Team Free Will (and I'm honestly a little surprised that it's happening so quickly). Even though most angels are pieces of crap, it's still fun to see a new player on the field.

Speaking of, let's talk about Chuck. I've already had a lot of the show spoiled for me being on Tumblr, so a lot of the plot twists won't be as twisty to me. One of said plot twists is the fact that Chuck is God. Now, obviously I already know this, but what I don't know is why he's acting the way he is. Is he lying? Was his memory actually wiped? If so, by whom? Lots of fun questions, and I can't wait to see them answered.

And with that, I think it's time I wrap this up. I'll start season 5 hopefully sometime this week. Carry On!

[liinos]

Since no one is up I may as well just

[luv4fandoms]

At Last-Ralph x FReader (ch 1)

So I haven't written in over a year lol, and this was SUPPOSE to be a one-shot, but I started writing and got in the groove again sooooo...it became a chapter story! Lol. Hoping to get a chapter out every Friday til the story is finished that way I can balance it with running my Etsy shop and all 😊.

Summery: After you and your friends are transported back to the 1920's by a time machine elevator, you embark on an adventure, and that adventure leads to a beautiful man.

Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

Pairing: Ralph x Reader

Words: 3,328

Warnings: Ralph being a cutie, also some possible trigger words for some, I do apologize, I was simply quoting the show and they were used.

I also have a Ko-Fi 😊

⚠️ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐈 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬, 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬, 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞.⚠️

"At last, my love has come along

My lonely days are over

And life is like a song"

"So…Just to recap so that I know I am not losing my mind here….We actually just followed a homeless man into an elevator"

"Yeah"

"That was actually a time machine"

"Yeah"

"That actually took us back to the 1920's"

"Yeah"

"How do you know it's the 20's?"

"Which box do we check first, the cars? The hair? The fashion?"

"1920's London"

"Not exactly what I signed up for when I decided to vacation from America" you sighed, looking around the cobblestone road. Somehow, because you still couldn't wrap your head around a time machine elevator, you and your four friends had landed yourselves in London…In the 1920's. Horace and Jason were looking around please, for different reasons, Horace in amusement and Jason at all the women. Nick looked like he was about to have an aneurysm, while you and Lauren sat back and took in your situation. You would be lying if you said that this whole thing was at least somewhat exciting, odd and unbelievable, but exciting. You had decided to visit your friends over the summer, having met Lauren online some years ago when you were in a Facebook group for "Things to do when in London", since you were hoping to visit that following year. Lauren and you struck up a fast friendship over music, and soon found you had a lot of similar interests. 

"Alright, let's just stick together and avoid any

plantations." Nick said after a moment.

"Imagine all the things we could do." Horace said with a smile 

"Invest in stocks and shares and get filthy rich in the present day." Lauren replied with a mischievous smile back.

"I was gonna say burn a witch, but we could do that." Horace replied

"...Now I suddenly don't feel safe" You replied, causing Horace to turn to you.

"Can trace my ancestors back to Salem remember" you laughed, causing his eyes to widen.

"Right! No, sorry, no witch burning" he backtracked, causing you to laugh more.

"It doesn't matter what time we're in, any time before the mid-'80s isn't good for black people." Nick stressed

"You have a point" You stated

"Bruv, how can you not wanna explore? We owe it to ourselves! People like us never

get to time travel. It's what white people do,

like skiing, or brunch." Jason replied,

"Anyone got a fiver? I'm gonna buy a house." Lauren laughed as you all made your way onto the streets.

"Look at you perving at all the ye olde ladies." She teased Jason.

"I'm just appreciating when women dressed like women, and not like twelve-year-old schoolboys." He told her, earning a punch in the arm. 

"I wouldn't call you eyeing every woman as simply appreciating" you laughed. Noticing a woman staring at Lauren before muttering.

"That reminds me, I must buy some black pudding."

"Would it mess with the future if I smacked that woman in the face right now?" Lauren asked, causing everyone to snicker but bringing up a very good question, what would happen to the future, your timelines, by you simply existing in the 20's?

"No, seriously, she's right. Time, space, ripple

effects and all that. What would happen?" Nick asked, causing Horace to reach into his pocket.

"Homeless Pete gave me some rules. Um 1, Don't kill anyone." 

"That's not even specific to time travel." Nick muttered

"Don't impregnate, get impregnated. Don't touch any animals."

"Awe there goes your fun Jason" you teased.

"Have fun and try to blend in." Horace finished

"Try to blend in?" You asked

"Am I the only one noticing that?" Nick pointed behind you, you all turned and noticed a large crowd of white people gathered to stare…ah…yeah…people of color were not as common in these times indeed.

"Why are we in a suit shop?"

"Because I didn't see a Foot Locker."

You noticed the man behind the desk look up from his magazine as you all walked in before suddenly looking very scared.

"Good afternoon" he said nervously

"How may I eat you-, help you?" He quickly corrected himself, his eyes landing on you.

"Hello sir, my friends would like suits please"

"Y-Yes of course, I'll just go eat the-Get the manager" he nervously smiled before escaping to the backroom.

"She's alright." You heard Jason say as you leaned over the counter to see the magazine the man had been looking at…Ah cannibals…that explains the oddness.

"Going by the day's events, don't you think you have enough girlfriends?" Nick asked

"Alright, then you go talk to her."

"Well, obviously I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because she's about 90 years older than me."

"What?"

"Yes, I could go outside,and yes, I could chat her up. But what if I fell for her, and she for I?

And we had this whirlwind love affair where we couldn't be without one another.

And at the peak of everything, she decides to come back with me to the 21st century. But as we return to the present day, I'd turn to her only to see that she'd become the age she would be in that time. And I would have the girl of my dreams as an old woman, dying in my arms." Nick concluded. 

"Ahh Nick, always the romantic" you snickered

"Bruv, I just said to get her phone number." Jason replied just as a new voice spoke up.

"Ahem!" 

Spinning around you suddenly felt like the air got knocked out of you as you looked toward the new people in the small shop.

'Oh…Oh'

"Hello" they spoke at the same time, and you could hear Horace say something along the lines of 

"Hail thee, good morrow,how doth thou?" Behind you, but he sounded so far away, everything did, it was like everything suddenly blurred into nothing until there was just him. He wore a cream colored suit and a boater hat, a simple enough outfit for the time but that wasn't what caught your attention, his eyes, the way his smile made them sparkle as he excitedly told the woman beside him to ask them, before prompting her again, causing her to quickly snap at him and his smile fell, and you watched his eyes dull a bit, the sight making your heart clench.

'Don't look sad please,never look sad'

"Ask us what?"

"We were just wondering-" He started but again was cut off by the woman, you could feel yourself beginning to get annoyed at her as you watched his eyes dull even further.

"Yes, Ralph!..Are you a jazz band?"

"What makes you think we're a jazz band?" Lauren asked, and you watched his eyes move over to her, eyeing her up and down and you felt your chest ache…So…Even in a different time nothing changes. Your eyes drift away from him, everything coming into focus again as Nick and the woman talked.

"Quartet."

"Well, four (five) coloured chaps in London. What else could you be?" She replied

"You're also carrying instruments." He added

"Oh, so you are." She smiled, looking at their hands and glancing at you.

"Now call it fate, but Ralph and I are hosting a sick-makingly glorious birthday party." She smiled excitedly, something about this woman gave you a headache already, but at least now you knew his name was Ralph…It suited him.

"We're twins.Non-identical." he stated, as if the non-identical needed to be added you thought, finding yourself smiling a bit. 

"I was born first." She added

"So Victoria and I are having

a party-" he started again, only to get cut off once more, and by how he slowly sank back you knew this happened often…Too often.

"Yes, Ralph!...And daddy promised us a Negro jazz band."

"You really shouldn't use that word." Lauren added.

"Oh, sorry. A Negro jazz quartet. Quite a shame, the band we hired cancelled.

"One of the poor fellows got polio." They laughed, causing you all to kind of look at one another.

"Typical, isn't it? All bad things seem to happen to me." She pouted

"How much we talking?" Lauren asked

"You'll be paid fabulously"

"So please, please, please say you're a jazz quartet!"

"We are a jazz quartet."

"Sorry, we'd love to but unfortunately we've got to get home." Nick started but Lauren jumped in

"We'll be there."

"Wondrous!"

"It is rather a formal affair."

"Yes, so no curious native trousers or, um, spongy foot sheaths."

"I can't wait!"

"Please don't let us down, otherwise Ralph and I will howl with shame and take our lives in a tragic double suicide." She stated, causing everyone to let out a nervous laugh, except they weren't laughing…before a simple.

"See you chaps later!" And just like that, they were gone. You watched them through the window, watched as he retreated with his sister, his excitement visible if only for a moment before she dampened it again.

"All I'm saying is that when people time travel, it's to prevent a natural disaster or to save mankind from extinction.Not to perform as a

'Negro jazz quartet'" Nick ranted after everyone left the shop with their new suits, you excluded. You looked around after you all stopped in the street, everyone ranting about how Nick wanted a paid gig and now they have one, Nick ranting about how everyone needed to get home and he was going to go back and find the lift to get us out of there. In the end Nick left on his own, leaving the four of you in the streets. 

"Right so do we just have a look around then?" Horace asked.

"You can go ahead, I'm going to look in some shops, still need to find some clothes" you replied, thumbing towards some more shops.

"Oh right!" Horace started but Lauren cut in 

"Why don't you lot go on ahead, we'll meet you at the gig" she stated, before walking with you towards the shops. The first two shops you both quickly walk out of after looking at the price tags. Yes you had some money but not that much. The 3rd shop was a bit cheaper, it was a bit of a thrift store in a way, returns from other shops that maybe had lost a few beads or had been repaired hung on the walls. 

"So…You trying to look your best tonight?" Lauren asked while you looked at the dresses.

"Just looking to blend in I suppose" you shrugged, watching as she nodded but continued to stare at you from the corner of her eye.

"So you wouldn't be looking for somethin' to catch his eye?" She asked after a moment, causing your head to whip in her direction.

"W-what?" You asked, trying to keep your voice low and even.

"Come off it, I saw the way you stared at what's his name…Ralph, back there. Looked like a deer in the headlights, if the deer was also in love with the car" she smirked before adding.

"Also pretty sure I heard you gasp when you first turned around"

"I….I don't know what you're going on about, I had no such look" you stated, going back to the dress.

"Oh really?" 

"Really" 

"Cause it looked to me like-"

"He had his eye on someone else anyways, now can we please drop it?" You sighed, grabbing a dress and heading to the changing room. Lauren watched you walk away, confused by your reaction, she was only teasing in her own sort of way, but the way you acted…she felt like she was opening an old wound. When you emerged again you were dripping in black and gold, a beaded headpiece around your (h/c) locks and a faux pearl bracelet around your wrist. Mary Janes adored your feet and as you looked at yourself in the mirror you truly felt like you were living your Great Gatsby fantasy.

"Whoa" Lauren said behind you.

"Good Whoa or Bad Whoa?" You asked, teeth worrying your bottom lip.

"Good Whoa" she smiled, causing you to sigh, before you grabbed your bag that was now filled with your old clothes and walked to the cashier, handing her the money, very glad you had exchanged your Dollars for Pounds. 

After shopping the two of you met up with Horace and Jason again, walking around the town for a bit before heading to the party. A party that you were both looking forward to and dreading. Once there you were shocked by the amount of people already there, and the amount of alcohol. You watched as the three of your friends drank from the bottle, you yourself sipping from your cup, before Jason noticed something, tapping Lauren on the arm.

"Someone's got an admirer." He nodded towards a table, you all looked over and noticed Ralph, his eyes raking over Lauren as he smiled at her.

"I'm guessing he's gonna be pretty pissed off when he finds out you're a girl." Jason joked

"Yeah, well I'm guessing Victoria's gonna be pretty pissed when she finds out you're a girl." Lauren replied, her eyes looking over to find you, your front facing the bar, your back to Ralph as you drank your drink. She looked back at Ralph, noticing that his eyes were on you, eyebrows furrowed before he caught her gaze, smiling again. The rest of the night was a whirlwind, first there was trying to stall hoping Nick would show up, then Jason almost started up with how it was now a Trio, the Wu-tang clan, before Nick actually showed up and they played their asses off. You couldn't help but actually enjoy yourself, the alcohol in your system mixing with the good music made it easier as you danced with random men and women. But all nights had to come to an end, and so soon while you were gathering round with your friends and smiling, Victoria and Ralph appeared.

"Such a giddy-making delight of a night, all thanks to you gentlemen." She smiled, before looking at the boys.

"Now, who would like a dance with the birthday girl?" She asked, Horace started to raise his hand before Jason pushed it down.

"I thought you'd never ask." He smiled and left with her. 

"And what about the birthday boy?" Ralph asked, and your eyes met Lauren's.

"Oh, I'm not-" Horace started but Ralph cut him off.

"Oh no, I was talking to that-,This one-, particular one of you." He gestured to Lauren before asking her directly.

"Would you?" She looked over at you once more, unsure of what to do, and noticed Ralph turn his head to look at you as well, seemingly following Lauren's gaze. You smiled, hoping it was a happy and reassuring smile, but the look on her face said that the disappointment showed through. But she still sighed, looked at Ralph and nodded.

"Yeah, go on then". You watched them head to the dance floor, Ralph looking especially excited while Lauren looked uneasy.

"Oi, you alright?" Horace asked, looking over at you.

"Me? On yeah I'm fine" you waved him off, going back to your drink.

"You sure, you look….sad" 

"No I'm fine, just a bit tired is all" you lied, and from the look on his face, he didn't buy it.

"Right come on then" he stated, putting your drink down and grabbing your hand.

"Excuse you sir" you laughed.

"Nope, don't even try it, no friend of mine is going to be looking like the girl who didn't get asked to prom" he smiled, you knew his comment was supposed to cheer you up but he didn't have to hit home like that.

"Thank you?" You questioned as the two of you started dancing. 

You couldn't help the glances over to Lauren and Ralph, glances you thought were sneaky…guess you thought wrong"

"You fancy him?"

"What?" 

"You do" Horace smiled

"I don't know what you're talking about" you stated, slightly glaring at your friend.

"You find him proper fit yeah?" 

"Horace please" you begged

"I'm not gonna tell, everyone has their types" he smiled.

"His is Lauren" you muttered, but he was close enough to catch it.

"So that's what's got you so down" he spoke, making you look at him.

"Don't let one fish ruin the sea for you"

"It isn't just one fish though" you sighed, jumping slightly when Lauren's voice was beside you.

"Why don't we switch partners, make the evening even more fun" she smiled an uneasy smile at you, Ralph behind her looking confused as she took your hands from Horace and replaced them with her own, both of them trying not to grimace at the weird action for them both. 

"Oh..um.." you stood, mouth opening and closing as they danced away, you slowly turned and were met with those same eyes that made your entire world melt away just this morning.

"Shall we then?" He asked after a moment.

"Oh..yes…sure" you gave a shy smile, placing one hand on his shoulder and holding his other, your breath catching in your throat when his hand rested on your waist. The two of you slowly swayed to the music, your eyes darting between his gaze and anywhere else, afraid if you stared too long you may get lost in those brown puppy dog eyes. It really should have been illegal for someone to look this beautiful. But a distinct tapping sound brought you out of your thoughts and as you slowly identified the sound you couldn't help the giggle.

"Are you wearing tap shoes?"

"Yes, aren't they wizard!" He smiled excitedly, his eyes twinkling just as they had this morning. And you couldn't stop the smile that reached your lips at the sight.

"Very, if I knew tap shoes were allowed I would have brought some, they make dancing more fun" you laughed, causing him to smile even brighter at you. 

"Oh do they, tonight has been the best birthday" he replied, and you nodded, because it really had been a good night.

"I'm glad you had fun Ralphie, happy birthday" you smiled, and watched as his face slowly morphed from excited to shocked, making your smile drop to a confused expression.

"Ralphie?" He questioned, causing your eyes to go wide as you quickly tried to come up with something, how could you do that? How could you slip up and give him a nickname the day you met him?! And not just any nickname, but one that sounds like it would be said by a lover! You wracked your brain for something, completely missing the blush that had spread on his cheeks from the nickname as he replayed it again and again in his head.

'Ralphie…Ralphie' he loved the sound of it, or maybe he loved the sound of you saying it with such affection, his mind playing him small movies, you sitting next to him, his head in your lap as he played his ukulele, you smiling down at him, playing with his hair as he sung…You curled up in his arms as he read you his favorite book, both of you comfortable under his sheets before you would drift off for the night…You atop him…your dress slowly sliding off your shoulder, your head thrown back and mouth open as you repeated that name…his na-

"I'm so sorry, I forgot that some people don't like nicknames, I tend to give them without thinking, I really am sorry" you settled on your excuse, watching as he blinked repeatedly, seemingly coming out of his thoughts.

"That's um" he cleared his throat.

"That's quite alright, you just caught me unaware, I'm not used to being called such…simply Ralph" he replied, finally meeting your eyes again, and you noticed his pupils were a little blown. 

"Sorry, I'll just stick to Ralph" you tried to laugh it off but he quickly cut you off"

"I like Ralphie.

Chapter 1 done!! Let me know what you think!

Also let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist.

Taglist

@quirkyquartney

@the-a-word-2214

@no-mercy-bby

Your dress

[afaimscorner]

Frankly I have no energy left to contribute to a #SaveFirstKill or #ReleaseBatgirl Campaign. I gave my all  first to  #RenewLegendsofTomorrow and then #SaveLegendsofTomorrow for month with the only result being that the show was cancelled instead of renewed, that “Superman & Lois” was rectonned out of the Arrowverse, and that “The Flash” got an even shorter final season than originally thought, which will also now the Finale of the Arrowverse. And “Legends” is still not getting a Finale.

I also did contribute to #SaveLegacies, which also achieved nothing, expect that “Vampire Diaries” and “The Originals” left Netflix. And I tried #SaveBatwoman, even though I don’t even like the show anymore, and I tried #SaveRoswellNewMexico before I even watched a single episode of that show which I now love dearly, which makes it so bitter to know that no matter when I will see Season 3 and 4, it will be the end of it and there probably won’t be a satisfying ending, but just a “let’s cut the Cliffhangars out” Season Finale.

And during all those months of senseless fighting for not more than an actual chance to get a last season, mini-series, or special so that we get so finish those stories properly, it only become clear that no one but the fans gave a damn about that. I mean, yes, the actors, the crew and the writers maybe did, but no one with actual power to make it happen did. So I have made peace with the fact that the Legends will stay in Time Prison forever, that “Legacies”, “Batwoman” and “Roswell, New Mexico” like the “Charmed”-Reboot are just over without proper endings, and that the Arrowverse and the Vampire Verse were dropped because appareantly there was too much of LGBT-Shit, Female Leads and Non-White Characters in them.

And why I have no clue what is going on with “First Kill” , it has become clear in the last couple of days, that the problem with most of the rest is Warner and that we had it better when it was still owned by AT&T. For some reason HBOmax won’t be streaming or producing original fictional content from Warner anymore and is not interested in keeping their old subscriber base. “Batgirl” and “Scoop” are only the beginning. Suddenly everything they are already working on and everything planned for the platform from “Blue Beetle” to that “Green Lantern”-show to the newest season of “Harley Quinn” and Season 2 of “Peacemaker” - all of those might just not be released anymore. Of course we will never get to see the rest of “The Nevers”, if they are scrapping actual movies, they are totally scrapping the finished episodes of that show as well. HBOmax will keep going thanks to “House of the Dragon” for the rest of the year, but next year ... who knows? Maybe HBO and Warner will split up and one streaming service less will exist in this world and they will make their own new seperate streaming services instead. And even worse, the whole done but no release might spread to the Cinematic Releases. “The Flash”-Movie might just never get released after all and the same might happen to “Aquaman 2″ and many other movies for several different reasons.

And, did I menton that Season 4 of “Snowpiercer” is also in danger now and I really have no engery left to worry about this show on the top of everything else?

I have just given up. Everything I loved and watched is either coming to an natural end soon, has been cancelled, or will come to un un-natural end soon and/or will never be released anyhow.

We will only get new cheap shows, no more fantasy or science fiction shows, or only event-shows with 6-8 Episodes in their one or two seasons anymore, television will be ruled by Crime Shows again with no one investing money in anything else, and the LGBTQ-Community and Female Leads will disappear from fiction all together outside the one or two special decicated shows, that will pop up once or twice a year. Projects with high production value and good stories, which defy this model, will be overlooked and dropped or only stream on Paramount+, if that streaming service even survives the next couple of years. Disney will just give in one day and put warrior women and LGBT-stuff back in the locked chest, they kept it in for centuries, because too few people want too see stuff, that features those kind of things. The Doctor will forever be male again, and that one time they were female will be framed as an failed experiment by stupid people by everyone who is still watching which won’t be many people any more, but the people who matter: Male Brits.

So, no, I won’t fight anymore. I am defeated and will just stop watching Televions and Movies. Because there is literally no point to it anymore.

[sgt-paul]

should have posted this on the anniversary of the rooftop concert but posting it on the anniversary of the ed sullivan show the first live wings gig is pretty fitting as well, anyway i just have the urge to react to the sort of "paul is a nervous, anxious wreck and he doesn't want to go on the roof he is scared and he is pain, and he is fishing for excuses" trope i've seen spiral on here (thanks to PJ's ability to come up with the most tone deaf "insights") as i'm just.. i don't get what people are looking at lol.

like, how do we get from paul talking about wanting to perform and play live for the whole doc really to the "paul is waiting for someone to boycott the gig because he is afraid to play live" conclusion. we know he wants to perform and play live, he wants an audience etc, because not only is he consistent about this during get back (at the "meeting" before the concert when there's still some uncertainty around the whole thing, according to MLH he is the one telling the others that they should do it), he said it himself (1) prior to get back [the idea of singing live is much more appealing to us now] (2) he continues saying this after they have finished get back (we know touring was basically the only suggestion he's made to the band around the time of/at the divorce meeting too) and (3) 3 years later, just months after he's formed wings the first thing he does is bringing his original idea to life with their university tour. + (4) he's absolutely thriving when he is playing on the roof...

yeah paul shows that he is frustrated and nervous about the direction the project is heading into, but he is literally right, he is not "moaning about nothing", he is not in a "pointless anxiety spiral", he's not bringing up "excuses" because he has "stage fright". (i can get behind the idea that he would be nervy about playing live again because (1) duh, and (2) in regards to that he very openly and sensibly says that he thinks they've/he's "got a bit shy". but uhm, that's quite different from what people are trying project him). the sense you get from him is that for him, playing a few numbers on the roof, and a couple others in the basement in a rush, and then somehow stringing them together into an album is not enough, it's not it ["but for who is tommorow the day we've got to do it?, not for me"]. hence why john is saying to him that he's aware that doing only ~7 tracks instead of 14 is disappointing and he's not talking to paul about the "stress" of having audience, or doing the concert or playing live, whatever. he's quite literally said, that he wants to go out with a bang. he wants a big, proper end to the story, he wants something different and fresh, something good they can be proud of and satisfied with ["i just like making the best out of an idea"] and then he wants to close the project and move on. he's a perfectionist, and he isn't lazy to put in the work to achieve what he perceives to be "enough". (of course ringo's and glyn's upcoming commitments are considerable obstacles when it comes to the possibility of extending the length of the project, but to me it seems his idea was to spend one more week working on the songs/setlist and preparing a 12-14 song concert in a proper location - days before the roof he is still talking about doing it somewhere like the saville theatre). he clearly cares about the band's output, he is fully invested in creating something great - just like he was when it was about pepper or the mmt - and he doesn't want some half-assed end* to the project they have been working on for about a month, the project that could also easily turn out to be their last(!). *the half-assed end being the better than nothing rooftop gig they resort to, seasoned with the basement tracks. so he's trying to get the most out of it, he's trying to give the biggest ending to this project that he can think of. right until the last moment he's trying to get more out of it than what they have eventually ended up with, because he thinks the roof isn't enough and it's not the ending that he wants. but once it becomes obvious that the roof&basement combo will have to be the finale, he is determined to make it as good as possible.

also you can't say that his frustration, worry and dissatisfaction weren't justified lmao, because when you look at the not particularly ideal treatment let it be got in the end (enter spector and klein), or just them being not that satisfied with what they had ended up with (days before the roof they are already talking about starting the recording of a new LP and just like that within a few weeks they are already working on abbey road) and the end result being subpar to the white album or abbey road... yeah. you can see what his problem was at the time. it could have been a step forward, as the project had the potential.

(and like, he could not have known that 50 years later people would look back on the rooftop concert and hail it as this iconic farewell gig lol, and that the performance of those 5 songs we got from the roof would be considered so legendary etc)

[not-so-mundane-after-all]

tag 9 people you want to get to know better!

Got tagged by @ambeauty @undertheknightwing & @escapism-through-imagination THANKS DARLINGS!

Favourite colour: Hmm, tough choice. Never really had one before. But I'd say definitely those 4 speak to me the most right now 🖤💙💜💚

Currently reading: First book in The Witcher series: The Last Wish. But 95% of the time fics are more important to read, especially when legends like @wonderbatwayne or @escapism-through-imagination drop something

Last song: Scream My Name by Tove Lo form The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1 Soundtrack. It's the song I got a quote from for the title of my most recent fic "When I'm Dead And Gone, Will They Sing About Me?"

Last series: Just finished watching the newest ep of a Star Wars show The Book of Boba Fett but I'm here ONLY for my boy Din Djarin and his son baby Yoda Grogu and only started watching when they appeared, otherwise didn't really give a shit. Other shows currently on my tv schedule: Euphoria, Superman & Lois, Batwoman, Legends of Tomorrow and Walker.

Last movie: just yesterday I finished 4-part documentary about Janet Jackson. I recently did a Harry Potter + Fantastic Beasts marathon and that prompted me to continue this and binge all YA sci-fi/fantasy adaptations of the golden era of last decade, aka books and movies I grew up on. Now on my list is The Maze Runner trilogy. Then Hunger Games. All 3 Hobbits and Narnia. Maybe I'll add Divergent to the mix, idk

Sweet/ savory/ spicy: All of the above, I guess. Depends on the dish

Currently working on: I just dropped a fic so I'm taking a tiny break from creating content so I can catch up on consuming it. But I have two ideas I'm going to start working on soon, I just need to decide which one do first. Also, there are drawings I want to make, but my digital pen feels heavy in my hand these days. The right time need to come and it will, it always does.

Three ships:

Dickkory obviously, forever my number 1. My beloved parents. Mr. and Mrs. Sexy.

Barchie from Riverdale (although I finally gave up on this shitshow altogether so I'm only checking online what's happening with my favs instead of suffering through whole episodes. They're together now but I decided it's not worth it to sit for an hour wondering what the fuck am I even doing, watching this parody of a teen drama) because of childhood best friends to lovers excellence and look how soft and romantic they are!!!

Lyra and Will from His Dark Materials. My babies, I miss you, come back to me soon. I know you will break my heart, but come back anyway.

First ever ship: I think Robin and Starfire from Teen Titans (heh, coincidences don't exist okay?) - that was the first ship I was fully invested in, that's how I discovered fanfiction, through them. Also, I'd say it would be Cornelia and Caleb from W.I.T.C.H. I had no idea what shipping even was back then, I was like what, 7? I think even the term didn't exist yet. But I felt a really strong pull to them.

Currently consuming: Mint tea

Currently craving: my mom's homemade pizza

Tagging: not many of you left since everyone around is doing this game but here we go - @legendsofentity @wonderbatwayne @nooowestayandgetcaught @mycaptainjones

[ursaminortarot]

I’m really fixated on romance right now for some reason, so here we are with a soulmate reading. I’m of the belief that we don’t just have romantic soulmates but platonic and familial ones as well. However, for this reading, I am choosing to focus solely on romance.

I’m experimenting with a new format. I linked each of the readings to a google doc, this is mostly because they ended up being way longer than I’d anticipated (story of my life). I also thought that it might be more organized to do it this way. I’d appreciate feedback on whether or not I should keep doing it.

Piles to choose from:

Pile 1 - Cobra

Pile 2 - Fish

Pile 3 - Cheetah

Pile 4 - Zebra

Pile 5 - Hawk

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[Decks Used: Modern Witch Tarot, Wild Unknown Tarot, Wild Unknown Animal Spirit oracle, Tarot Cats, standard playing cards, and a homemade oracle deck]

This took me 10-11 hours to do, spread out across 3 days. So, if you can support my shop or donate I’d be grateful. Also, please excuse any grammar/spelling mistakes and small incoherencies, by the time I got around to editing the readings I was kind of over it.

My Shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/UrsaMinorTarot

CashApp: @UrsaMinorTarot

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Pile 1: Cobra

Who They Are:

Queen of Wands, 9 of Wands, 8 of Pentacles, King of Clubs

10 of Cups, 7 of Cups r, Justice r, 5 of Hearts

7 of Cups r, 9 of Pentacles r, 6 of Wands, 9 of Diamonds

Death r, 7 of Wands r, 8 of Wands r, Ace of Spades

The High Priestess, The Fool, The Hanged Man r, Ace of Hearts

Mother of Cups r

Winter+New Love

I’m getting some self-made energy here, they are likely a very hard worker who puts in a lot of time and energy. Their success, while appreciated, makes them feel very alone. There’s a lot of wands energy here, so they are generous with their money and it’s possible that other people take advantage of that. The Mother of Cups reversed reinforces this idea as she brings the message: “you give too much of yourself to others”.

The High Priestess, Fool, and Hanged Man being pulled together makes me think they function in two very different ways. Either, they overthink literally everything to the point of never making a decision, or they just do things very impulsively without a second thought.

They want a big, happy family, whatever that means to them. It could involve having children or just having a lot of pets. However, due to past relationships, they no longer feel as though they could trust anyone enough to live out that dream. 

They feel disillusioned with love, which gives them a lot of conflicting emotions. Because, again, there’s a lot of wands energy, so they’re a very passionate person. Their current belief that love isn’t real is a direct contradiction to who they are at their core. Winter and new love could be taken literally, like you’ll meet and fall in love with them in the winter. Or, if you wanted to look deeper at it, it could mean that you help them get out of this place of being unable to consider love.

How You Can Recognize Them:

8 of Cups r, Son of Wands, 7 of Wands r, King of Diamonds

5 of Pentacles, Father of Cups, 3 of Swords, Jack of Hearts

The Devil r, The Fool, The Devil, 2 of Spades

10 of Pentacles, The High Priestess r, Queen of Hearts

The Hermit, 7 of Pentacles r, 10 of Cups r, 7 of Diamonds

Hanged man, 4 of Cups r, 10 of Diamonds r

“You’re having trouble getting in touch with your emotions”

“You’re not seeing clearly”

Ex

This person has an unmistakable light about them. Being with them is like sitting outside on a nice day soaking up the sun. However, they are still holding on to the past, and this is to their detriment. When you meet them, if you haven’t already, they will be extremely hung up on their ex. They are going to be obsessing over what went wrong and whether or not they can fix it. I can’t tell if they want to fix it to get back together with their ex, because they think it will give them closure, or because they think it will help them avoid making the same mistakes in their next relationship. But, they also don’t actually want to fix anything because that would mean confronting their emotions and they would really rather not. They will likely seem to be existing outside of reality, they are going to be so distracted by this internal conflict that they aren’t going to notice the world around them.  

In all honesty, they will be very difficult for you to recognize. You’ll probably notice them because of their light, but you won’t (and shouldn’t) consider them a potential partner - at least not until they’ve dealt with their issues and moved on. I want to stress that while they are so focused on their past relationship(s), that’s not all they have going on. They are a 3 dimensional human being like the rest of us, but this is just the information I was able to get.

I also want to mention that their family is very important to them, they’re the type of person to call or text each member of their immediate family every day. I also get the impression that you two will be friends for a while before getting into a relationship. 

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Pile 2: Fish

Who They Are:

Queen of Swords, 9 of Wands, 9 of Cups r, The Tower r, Jack of Spades

King of Swords, Daughter of Wands, 3 of Pentacles, 8 of Diamonds

Judgment r, 2 of Cups r, Daughter of Swords r, The Chariot r, 3 of Spades

5 of Pentacles, Temperance, 7 of Wands, Jack of Hearts

The Emperor, 8 of Pentacles, The Magician r, Ace of Wands, 4 of Spades

“I’m sorry”

Best friends 

Between the Emperor and having all of the court cards of the Swords suit, this person has a very powerful presence. They’re almost the kind of person that makes people stop and stare, I say almost because they’re intimidating and people don’t want to be caught staring. Not intimidating in a scary way, they just - and I can’t stress this enough - exude power. They are also very ambitious and highly intelligent. So when they put their mind to something, they will execute it perfectly. Or, at least, they want people to think it was done perfectly. They have a very “everything’s under control” look to them, but they’re barely hanging on by a thread. I feel like one bad day would send them into an existential spiral, because they don’t know who they are if they’re not perfect. 

Nothing’s ever come easily to them and they’ve had to fight their whole life to get the things that they have now. They’ve never had the option of giving up. If they gave up, they were worthless, they were nothing - that’s how they’ve always seen it. I imagine there’s a lot of parental pressure at play here. It’s turned them into a workaholic, there’s no work-life balance to be found. I’m getting the impression that the “I’m sorry” card has to do with this aspect of their life. 

The “best friends” card speaks for itself. With the Jack of Hearts and Daughter of Wands, there’s a playful energy to them. But these are the only cards pointing this out, which tells me that they restrain this part of themself. I think that you being their friend, as well as their partner, will show them that they don’t need to be so serious all the time. This is something buried so deep it’ll need some time and energy to be coaxed out of them.  

This is pretty obvious, but this person’s biggest fear is failure.

How You Can Recognize Them:

Knight of Wands r, 4 of Wands r, 8 of Cups, 9 of Swords

King of Pentacles, The Moon r, 7 of Swords r, Queen of Spades

5 of Pentacles, Mother of Swords, Queen of Wands, 4 of Hearts

Queen of Cups, Daughter of Swords r, Knight of Wands

7 of Cups r, Son of Swords, 4 of Pentacle, 5 of Diamonds

The World r, 9 of Wands r, 8 of Hearts r

You feel as if you aren’t getting the recognition you deserve

Seperation

We’re definitely seeing their more sensitive, playful aspects. However, these are still vastly overpowered by their Swords energy as, once again, all the court cards are out - the Queen’s out twice. Seriously, this person has such powerful energy that it’s the first thing you notice.

I feel like you’ll meet either at work or at school, somewhere where you’re working on a group project together. The people you’re working with aren’t going to take your contributions seriously. But, once they realize you’re right, they’ll claim they were  their ideas all along. The Swords family is very fair-minded, so I think this person’s going to have a problem with that.  

They have this very detached, uninterested persona and once you’ve spent time around your soulmate, you’re going to pick up on the fact that they are deeper than they want people to think they are. When they’re more comfortable with you, which will take some time, you might catch glimpses of them being competitive/hot-headed or they’ll start making jokes around you. If you’re patient enough, they’ll eventually be vulnerable with you.

They have a fear of the unknown and love is foreign to them, so this is definitely a slow-burn. 

In both of these readings I got a wave of pretty interesting energy. It wasn’t anxiety or dizziness, but felt similar to both. I felt like I lost my balance, that’s probably how you'll make this person feel. They have a lot of plans for life and you’re not one of them, so they’ll be thrown for a loop. 

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Pile 3: Cheetah:

Who They Are:

Page of Swords r, Son of Cups, The Hierophant, 9 of Clubs

Page of Wands, Mother of Wands r, Page of Cups r, 4 of Hearts

9 of Cups, The Tower, 2 of Swords, 2 of Cups, Ace of Clubs

Queen of Wands r, The Chariot r, Queen of Pentacles, 4 of Spades

Knight of Pentacles, Ace of Wands, Emperor r,  6 of Clubs

8 of Cups, King of Wands

You can’t help everyone

Over-investment in work

Aries

The first thing that I’m seeing is that this person will probably have some self-esteem issues. It seems to be tied to their abilities more so than appearance.

They have a lot of ideas for projects that they want to work on, but they never seem to start anything, let alone finish. I think this is because they try to be everything to everyone and don’t prioritize themself. They find contentment in the idea that everybody likes them, but this can make them a people pleaser. This can lead to them taking on long hours at work to make their boss happy. It’s also unrealistic because there’s not a person on Earth that’s universally liked. I think this is something they’ll come to realize in their own time.

They may come across as indecisive at times, they aren’t. They always know exactly what they want, but can have a hard time asserting themself. 

There’s a fire that burns bright here, this person has a lot of drive and ambition. This is where that aries energy comes in, they don’t have to have aries placements so please don’t get fixated on that. But, like I said before, they hold themself back by prioritizing other people and neglecting their own needs. They have the potential to be really successful, however they need to start putting themself first. 

This seems like a very sensitive individual, just the thought of doing something under-handed stresses them out. Which is a good thing for other people, because your soulmate’s very charming and could probably talk themself out of anything.

For some reason I get the impression that they have a bit of a sweet tooth.

How You Can Recognize Them:

2 of Swords r, The Empress, Queen of Cups, 3 of Hearts

9 of Pentacles r, Judgment r, The Moon, 10 of Spades

The Fool, Mother of Wands r, Hierophant r, Jack of Diamonds

The Chariot r, The Hermit, 4 of Wands, Joker B&W r

3 of Pentacles, 4 of Wands r, Knight of Wands, 4 of Spades

King of Cups r, The Magician r

You’re having trouble getting in touch with your emotions

September

Think before you speak

Let’s start with the reinforcements of their self-esteem issues, as well as their people pleasing tendencies. It’s exhausting for them, emotionally and physically. They are well and truly holding themself back, and I think that by the time you meet them they’ll be starting to examine these aspects of themself. This will be something they struggle with for a while and there may be a period of time where they withdraw to think things through.  

The joker in black and white in standard decks is my fool reversed card, but it’s reversed so its the fool reversed reversed. The fool upright, I feel like there could have been a simpler way for my cards to get that message to me. But I also feel like it represents the way your person talks to themself, they make everything just a little bit more complicated than it needs to be. They think in circles, eventually getting to the point but it may take them a while. This may be a contributing factor to their perceived indecisiveness. 

 They want to make a home with you. I get the impression that when talking about it with you, they’ll appear to be cool and collected. Like it’s not a big deal to them. But then they’ll turn around and shout it from the rooftops. It won’t be possible for people to not know you’re together, they’ll just be so loud about it. 

Outside of the need to make everybody like them, they’re a pretty care-free individual. It will be important to them that you have fun together. I think this playfulness is their most defining feature and probably the first thing people notice about them.  

In the first two piles, it looked like they’d be friends for a while before getting into a relationship with their person. That’s not the case here, like I said before, when this person knows, they know. They’re not going to waste time with you.  

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Pile 4: Zebra

Who They Are:

The Fool, The Hanged Man,  Queen of Swords, Ace of Clubs

6 of Swords r, 2 of Wands, The Hanged Man, Ace of Hearts

Ace of Cups, Mother of Pentacles r, 4 of Wands, Jack of Spades,

3 of Swords r, The Magician, 10 of Pentacles, Queen of Cups r, Jack of Diamonds

3 of Cups, The High Priestess, Strength, The Fool r, King of Spades

Soulmate 

Hostile

May

The first thing I’m picking up on is that your soulmate is someone who is very carefree. They also have a lot of romantic energy to them, so they are definitely a hopeless romantic.

The amount of Major Arcana here tells me that this person is likely very spiritually gifted, they might not be consciously aware of this.

This person is kind of a go-getter. Once they decide they want something, nothing’s getting in their way.

There are some conflicting energies here because as happy and carefree as they are, there’s an equal amount of pain and hardship. This is someone who’s faced a lot of hostility, so at first will be fairly guarded. They love the idea of being in love, but have difficulties opening themself up to the reality of love. It’s not all bad, they are making an active effort to heal and not let past heartbreak hold them back.

With the Magician and High Priestess facing each other, this is someone who is likely very in touch with their spirituality. Not only are they able to  trust their intuition, but they also have everything that they need to follow it. Once they have a gut feeling about something, whatever it is, they will trust it more than they’ll trust you, and be right 90% of the time.

 They are very compassionate and probably are used to giving more than they take, which gets them taken advantage of. Part of their growth is going to be finding a balance in this aspect of their life. 

This is someone who values family and most likely wants some kind of family unit, whether that be having children or pets. 

The month of May might be important, it could be when you meet or one of you could be a Taurus or a Gemini.

How You Can Recognize Them:

Ace of Cups, 3 of Pentacles r, 8 of Wands, 2 of Swords

Page of Cups, Justice r, 5 of Cups, 7 of Clubs

King of Pentacles, 10 of Cups, Strength r, 2 of Diamonds

2 of Pentacles r, 9 of Cups r, Queen of Wands, King of Diamonds

Death, The Hierophant, Page of Wands, 9 of Spades 

Sensitive

Peaceful

There’s still time to change your mind.

One of their prominent characteristics is their sensitivity. This doesn’t mean that they’re crybabies, they are just very mindful of everybody's feelings. This paired with what we learned about the painful parts of their past probably makes them a little insecure. This insecurity is only a problem when it comes to relationships. They may come across as very confident and flirty, but as soon as it moves past that they start clamming up and getting nervous. It could be bad enough that they have a hard time believing that you actually want to be with them.

They invest a lot of time into their projects, whether work related or personal. It’s likely that they struggle with finding a work-life balance. This is someone who needs to feel productive at every moment of the day. They keep themself busy so that they don’t need to be alone with their thoughts. This isn’t someone that knows peace. It is something they’d like to experience, but they don’t know how to. They have too many thoughts and can’t quiet their mind, their inner-demons get the best of them at times. This isn’t something they express outwardly though, everyone around them probably sees them as someone who, while busy, is fairly laid back. They need a lot of guidance here so if you’re someone who meditates, this could be something you help them with.

It’ll be easiest for you to recognize them based on their sensitivity and active lifestyle. They will be extremely helpful to their friends and family, and would drop everything to be there if needed. They are also, surprisingly down-to-earth. 

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Pile 5: Hawk

Who They Are:

5 of Cups, Judgment, Queen of Wands, Queen of Spades

Knight of Wands r, 10 of Wands r, 5 of Pentacles r, 3 of Diamonds

7 of Cups r, The Fool r, 10 of Pentacles, King of Spades

2 of Swords r, 9 of Cups, 3 of Cups r, 3 of Spades

The High Priestess r, 3 of Pentacles, Magician r, 9 of Diamonds

“You’re my everything.”

You need to hold yourself to more reasonable standards.

This is someone with a lot of pain, they are overwhelmed and feel defeated. I’m getting the impression that it has to do primarily with work/co-workers. It could be that they put a lot of themself into their work and seem to always get passed up for promotions, or they could have even been recently laid off. They’re very ambitious and intelligent, so if they did get laid off, it would be a big hit to their ego. Alternatively, they could have almost reached a long-standing dream, only for it to fall apart at the last second. 

Your soulmate has a lot of fiery passion that they don’t always know what to do with, so they turn everything into a competition. The thing is, they’re only competing with themself. They’re always trying to be better than they were yesterday, even when it’s unrealistic. 

As passionate as they are, they can be very patient when it comes to getting what they want. They know that not everything can be rushed, even if that’s frustrating to them. They try to avoid making reckless mistakes, but sometimes this can lead to them not making decisions in a timely manner. 

They value family and friends greatly, this could be the most important part of their life to them. They’ll test you to see if you can gain the approval of their loved ones. If you don’t, they may begin to have second thoughts. This is a soulmate though, so you’ll likely be very compatible and win everyone over with relative ease. 

How You Can Recognize Them:

5 of Pentacles, The Moon, 4 of Swords, 5 of Clubs

King of Pentacles, Judgment, 5 of Swords r, King of Wands r, 7 of Diamonds

2 of Swords r, Daughter of Pentacles, 5 of Pentacles r, 3  of Clubs

Temperance r, Son of Wands r, High Priestess r, 7 of Swords r, Jack of Clubs 

6 of Swords r, The Tower r, Page of Pentacles r, 5 of Hearts

You are not seeing clearly

Hesitant

When You meet this person, they will be coming out of a very rough period of their life. They are going to be at the start of their healing journey and they won’t have a lot of time or energy for romance. They’re likely very hard on themself, they don’t want to be seen as weak so they don’t express negative emotions. This is something they have to confront in order to heal.

They are going to be in a complicated headspace, there’s going to be difficulty separating the past from the present, and there’s not a lot of balance between their spiritual and physical lives. They either reject the spiritual to embrace the material world, or neglect their physical well-being and focus solely on their spiritual self. 

You know how some people use their trauma as an excuse to inflict pain on others? This person’s the opposite of that, everything they’ve gone through has made them a patient, compassionate person. This will probably be one of the first things you notice about them, how kind they are. They are also very dependable, they’ve experienced going through hard times alone and don’t want anyone else to feel like they have to. 

Overall, they come across as a very good human being, but there’s an underlying tiredness to them. They might be dealing with a little bit of brain fog, so at times they’re slow to process the world around them.

[petri808]

Nalu Yakuza Au *cover art by @jmoart214 💜

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |

The tit for tat game was well known to both of their top confidants and lieutenants because it had been going on ever since Natsu and Lucy broke up. Plus, it was hard to get around such knowledge considering most of them came from the same neighborhoods. These intrigues ebbed and flowed like waves. Months could pass by without any interactions between the two, at other times they’d go back and forth continuously until one of them finally gave up, and on the odd occasion ended in a huge fight that led to another round of ignoring each other. Up until now, it had been kind of amusing to watch them torture each other because it was better than a drama shows on television. But that didn’t mean Natsu, and Lucy’s friends didn’t worry about one or both being truly hurt one day because of it.

“It’s fine,” Natsu rolled his eyes as Gray chastised him after the soapland incident. The two men were at Natsu’s home after work hours and supposed to be relaxing. But clearly his friend didn’t want to drop the subject. “What’s the big deal?”

“Dude, you let yourself be blindfolded in a public space! Have you forgotten what kind of business we’re in? What if it had been an assassin instead?”

“Oh, that’s just ridiculous. We’re talking about Lucy’s company, and I trust their security measures because she has just as much to lose if a hit took place there.”

“Still, you should be more careful, at least take a bodyguard with you…”

Natsu’s eyebrow twitched in irritation. “And what, so they can watch the show? We got any voyeurs on the payroll? Cause I can’t think of anyone here who’d wanna see another guy getting his balls fondled!”

Gray ran a hand down his face. “So not the mental image I wanted. You’re missing the point.” He sighed. “Natsu you are the head of this clan, and your safety is my top priority.”

“I get it, I get it,” Natsu drawled.

“And frankly,” Gray continued, “you’ve become distracted by her lately.”

“Tch! No, I haven’t!”

“Yeah, you are. You think I haven’t noticed? I know you drive by her place sometimes. I know you’ve followed her to that coffee shop she likes to frequent. But ever since her employee was robbed, things have escalated again.”

“You’re imagining things and apparently spying on me. I’m just keeping an eye on the competition.”

“Watching over you is my job! That’s not spying.” Gray crossed his arms. “And oh, it’s no doubt that you’re keeping an eye on her. That’s why you went to Katsunuma’s party and to soapland too. The problem is you’re getting sloppy and sloppy gets people killed.”

Natsu groaned. “Are you done yet? We’re supposed to be enjoying the baseball game, not psychoanalyzing my life.”

“Almost.” Gray placed a hand on his friends’ knee and leaned in. “Natsu, you’ve been chasing that tail since high school, just lock her down and convince her to work together already.”

Natsu snorted a laugh. “Gray we all grew up together, so what in all these years makes you think that’s a possibility? You know damn well Lucy’s not a woman you can control without her consent.” Natsu knew that, and frankly he loved that part of her. In fact, it made him even more fired up whenever he thought about it, just like a treasure you don’t just find but must win at the end of a game. “I’ll find a way, some day.”

“Well until that day arrives, could you promise me you’ll be more cautious?”

“Fine, fine,” Natsu waved his hand. “I’ll back off of Lucy for now.”

“Good.” Gray relaxed back onto his recliner thinking the drama was over.

“However, there is a new guy I want surveillance placed on.”

“Who?”

“The bartender from the party.”

Gray groaned. “Seriously? Why? He’s just a bartender!”

“I don’t trust him.”

“Was he spiking the drinks or something? Dealing drugs at the party?”

“Maybe.”

Gray huffed. “You really gonna try that? Do I look like an idiot? This is just straight jealousy talking.”

“I don’t care! I want someone to dig up what they can on the guy!”

“No, what you wanna know is if he fucked Lucy that night!”

Natsu jumped up with his fists clenched. “Fuck you!”

“Fuck you too!” Gray stood up and matched his boss’s energy. “Unless you give me a damn good reason to check into him, I’m not wasting my guy’s time! You might be the boss, but don’t you fucking forget who you’re talking to! I’m not some punk off the streets!”

Realizing he was taking things too far, Natsu sat back down. “Sorry.”

Gray sighed and plopped back down too. “I only joined because you asked me to and you’re my best friend, then I helped you build this new empire, so I’m just as invested in protecting it as you are. But Natsu, personal emotions have led to the downfall of many in this business, and as a friend, I’ll check you any time I think you’re going to far.”

“You’re right…” Natsu sighed too. “She just gets me so worked up.”

“Don’t I know it,” Gray laughed, but stopped when Natsu glared at him. “Sorry, it slipped out.”

“But I swear, there’s something suspicious about him. When he saw me, I thought he just reacted because he thought I was Lucy’s boyfriend or something, but the more I think about it, he might have recognized me.”

“Well, that wouldn’t necessarily be suspicious either.”

“True. But the look in his eyes just made me wonder.”

“Alright…” Gray groaned, “if it’ll make you feel better, I’ll have someone do some digging. So, you said he has orange hair and glasses, and the name on his tag was Loke?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s an unusual name, shouldn’t be too hard to check on.”

Over the course of a couple of weeks, Gray sent out feelers for any information on this Loke guy. Katsunuma junior gave them their first small lead that the bartender had worked the party through a local food catering company. That catering company was a legitimate business who had both full-time staff as well as independent contractors brought in per event as needed. Loke had been one of the latter. From there Gray obtained a last name, de Lioncourt.

According to his sources at the local precinct, Loke de Lioncourt had no rap sheet, no prior dealings with police, and for all they knew was an average citizen. The man’s Line blog profile listed him as a 28-year-old, Japanese/French American, model and bartender, and it was filled with pictures from events, parties, as well as many gorgeous women— none of which contained Lucy. But as Gray trolled through the man’s feed, he did come across one person he recognized and passed the information along to Natsu.

“Wow, she’s in a bunch of photos,” Natsu mumbled as he scrolled through the blog.

“Well, considering Cana’s reputation are you surprised. Parties and alcohol are the two things that woman lives for.” Gray laughed. “Now see, this makes sense to me. Lucy and him, not so much.”

“Tch… still pisses me off he even tried.”

“Lucy’s a free woman, she can go out with whoever she wants to.”

“We’ll see about that,” Natsu mumbled low.

“What was that?” Gray asked with a raised brow.

“Nothing.”

“Better be nothing, cause this is a dead end. He’s just a flirty bartender. It’s how they make tips.”

“Yeah, yeah, fine.” Natsu sat back in his chair. “So, back to business. What this I heard about some missing stock?”

“Oh, right. One of the warehouse clerks noticed a shortage, but when I checked with Yura, he said the books were fine. I had him show it to me, and it appears the numbers were just inverted by accident. So, instead of 185 kilos, it’s supposed to be 158 kilos.”

“Did you talk to the clerk again? Does he have any history of messing up like this?”

“Nah, he’s one of our better clerks.”

“Just keep an eye on it.”

“Sure thing, boss. By the way, have you seen Gajeel today?” Gray questioned. “I haven’t seen him.”

“He called me this morning said he wasn’t feeling well, thinks he ate something bad for dinner last night.”

“Tch, seriously? Thought he had an iron stomach?”

Natsu shrugged. “Must’a been some bad sushi or something. We ain’t got much happening today, so it’s fine. Anything else? I got some stuff I need to finish.”

Gray tapped his chin. “Just a reminder you have an appointment with our tech guy dropping by later this week to go over some upgrades on the system.”

“Like I’m supposed to know anything about that stuff, it’s what I pay him for.”

“You still gotta approve it,” Gray shrugged and took his leave.

Once the man was completely out of the office, Natsu opened a drawer in his desk and pulled out a nondescript box he’d hidden inside. He grinned to himself. It was time to make another special delivery. Even though he’d told Gray he was backing off the whole Lucy and Loke subject, there was no way he was gonna let it slide. Natsu didn’t care if the man seemed legit, and he wasn’t the first nor would probably be the last that he’d eventually scared away. And besides, being a Yakuza boss had a lot of down times too, easily filled with having a little fun.

Today’s little care package was being sent to Lucy by a courier service and Natsu just had to drop it off to the delivery company. Just a normal company like Kuroneko Yamato so it wouldn’t rouse too many suspicions. It was turning into a fun game for him just coming up with ideas of what he could do to rile Lucy up or irritate this Loke guy. Natsu chuckled to himself. So far, his favorite prank was a box of small sized condoms and a bottle of enhancement pills that he’d had delivered to Loke while on the job at another party. He’d even snuck in to watch it delivered, gaining a good laugh when the man took a peek in the box and frowned at its contents.

It was childish, but Natsu didn’t care. Every day for two weeks now, something new was sent to Loke. Random gifts like children’s candy to a toy gun, a big bottle of lubricant wrapped in a bow, a week’s worth of meals sent for lunch one day, even an empty box with rocks inside it just to drive the man crazy wondering who in the world was sending them. Lucy too wasn’t immune to his pranks, though hers had a different feel to them. Flowers with no note attached. Tickets to a canceled show he made up. A supposed dinner invite from Loke that wasn’t real— okay that was to test her, but she didn’t fall for it. And today’s little care package fit right into his prank scheme.

Natsu dropped off the package at a Kuroneko Yamato office with the address instructions already filled out and paid the company’s employee extra to keep their mouths shut. ‘She’s gonna kill me one day,’ he laughed to himself as he rode back to his office. ‘If it’s suffocation by her boobs it wouldn’t be a bad way to go!’

“Anymore stops sir?” The driver asked Natsu.

“Nope. Back to the office.”

He looked at his watch. The package should be arriving at Lucy’s office within the hour. Give or take another to open it, and by 4pm he would be receiving another phone call. Maybe he won’t answer it. Oh, that would piss her off even more! ‘Well, if she’d just take the hint...’

The afternoon was supposed to be mellow at headquarters that day. No shipments, and no appointments. But when Natsu got back, another general in the organization named Jellal Fernandez came to his office to inform him of a problem. One of the new local restaurants in their territory was refusing to cooperate and he wanted to know how Natsu wanted it handled. They were right in the middle of discussing it, when Natsu’s office door flew open with a loud bang!

In stomped Lucy who immediately threw a box at his head, causing Natsu to duck and Jellal to pull his gun.

“Don’t!” Natsu screamed at his general and motioned for him to stand down, to which the man complied. “Do you have a death wish Lucy!”

“Get. Out.” She snapped at the general. “Get out! This is between me and your boss!”

Jellal looked to Natsu, who nodded his head to scram. “I got this, don’t worry.” The man holstered his gun and left, but Natsu could see he’d stayed right outside of the now closed door.

“I take it you didn’t like the gift,” Natsu pretended to stay calm.

“Gee, me throwing it at you give you that impression? I know it’s you sending all these damn deliveries to me and Loke. That needs to stop now!”

He crossed his arms and scoffed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Play dumb all you want. Just stop! Why are you even doing this?!”

“Take a guess,” he sneered back.

“I could’ve sworn we were adults now, but apparently I’m the only one who grew up. Stay out of my love life Natsu!”

“So, you admit you’re sleeping with the guy!”

“That’s none of your damn business! I can fuck whoever I want!”

“Not as long as I’m alive,” Natsu growled back.

Lucy crossed her arms. “That could be arranged.”

“Is that a threat?!”

“Yes! If you don’t stay out of my love life!”

“A woman shouldn’t be sleepi—”

“Don’t you finish that sentence!” Lucy grabbed a stapler that was within reach and chucked it at Natsu’s head. “Stop trying to control me!”

“Are you crazy?!”

At that moment, Gray barged into the room. He’d heard the screaming from the other side of the office, and when he got close enough to see Jellal standing outside the door, he became alarmed. Why would a general leave Natsu vulnerable! The man told him their boss told him to leave, but as the sounds inside escalated, Gray couldn’t wait anymore.

“Stop it!!” Gray got between them. “What are you two doing! Lucy you shouldn’t be here!”

“Then tell your damn boss to leave me the fuck alone!” Lucy spat back. “Ask him how he’s been harassing Loke and me!”

Gray turned to his boss with a groan. “Natsu, we talked about this!”

“Tell Gray what you been doing!” Lucy pressed. “Show him the stupid packages you send!”

“What packages?” Gray looked to Lucy, then repeated the question as he stared at his boss. “What packages?”

“Tch,” Natsu crossed his arms, “it’s not even that bad.”

Lucy stomped over to where the box fell and picked it up, pulling the contents out. “Bullshit!” She snapped as she held up a very racy, red nightie with flame prints, a pair of fluffy handcuffs, and a large dildo. “See this shit?!” Lucy shook the floppy latex toy at Gray before chucking it to the ground again. “He includes messages too,” then handed the man a folded piece of paper.

Gray read it aloud, “to make up for what playboy lacks. Had it custom made to my size wink wink. Ugh, seriously man,” he tossed the letter.

Natsu shrugged. “I was just having fun.”

“This is the yakuza, not a daycare!” Gray snaps. “I’m not here to babysit the boss so he stops harassing the competition! There’s more important business to worry about!”

“That’s right listen to Gray,” Lucy sneered.

Gray turned to her. “Oh, you ain’t innocent either, so don’t even try it. You both do things to purposely rile the other up and get mad when there’s consequences. Stop it!” He looked back and forth between the two. “Just stop it already!”

Natsu and Lucy looked away from the man with scowls on their faces. Neither wanted to admit he was right.

“Jellal,” Gray called out. When the man entered, he instructed him to escort Lucy out of there. “Next time, just call me instead. It’s best you two just stay away from each other. Got it?!”

“Yeah,” Lucy grumped.

“Got it?!” Gray questioned his boss.

“Yeah,” Natsu mumbled.

“Fucking like high school,” Gray ran a hand down his face in irritation. “You two need therapy.”

[let-them-read-fics]

Youth With You

Pairing: Lisa x Fem!Reader

Word Count: ~ 3,113

HC Count: 31

This is a mix between headcanons and a one shot

Warnings / Misc. -- Fluff, Little Hot & Heavy, (Public) Teasing, Happy Ending

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: Hey everyone! Here’s my first writing for Lisa; I’m pretty proud of it! Feel free to let me know what you think. Happy reading, I hope you enjoy!

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Becoming a new trainee was terrifying in every sense of the word. The media, the practices, the tests -- everything. 3 months into your coaching, however, things hit an all time high: you gained the opportunity to enter the competition Youth With You, as an independent trainee. Your freedom and right to expression was important to you, so it wasn’t an accident that you were going in independently. A company would only put pressure and bans on you, restricting your creativity and keeping you from being your most authentic self.

Finding out that Lisa was a mentor only made your nerves worse; at the same time, though, you’d never been more excited for something in your whole life.

Having friends in the industry proved to be an important factor as you prepped for the show. Producers and managers gave you advice, knowing exactly what each of the teachers looked for and demanded from their groups. You worked tirelessly to ready yourself for the whirlwind that was sure to come.

When you arrive at the production building, you’re in awe; the interior is ginormous, with insanely high ceilings and huge doors. Everything is coated in various colors, all of them pristine and beautiful. The labyrinth of halls that winds throughout the building before you is quite intimidating, but you take a deep breath and remind yourself of your reasons for being here. It’s far too important to chicken out now.

The staff had tipped you off to the fact that the mentors would be there today, but they neglected to tell you when. You had surely expected them to come in after everyone got settled. Alas, you were sorely mistaken; thus, you can imagine the surprise that etched into your features upon entering the main room.

Ella and Kun were invested in their papers, flipping through the stacks and whispering to each other; Jony J was turned to his right, chatting with Lisa. Your presence was announced by the rather loud thud that echoed through the room at the closing of the door.

The bright lights nearly blinded you as you turned to face them again, dread creeping into your mind.

“Hello everyone, I’m Y/N. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” The words came out cooler that you had expected, and you patted yourself on the back for remaining so calm. You’re known for managing to hide your nerves well and remain professional, but that’s no easy task with this group of talent. Especially her.

You purposefully tried to avoid looking at her, knowing you’d blush and get majorly sidetracked. You feared you wouldn’t be able to recover from that.

“I see that you’re an independent trainee,” Kun said, a smile spreading across his lips. You swallowed at the sight, knowing the questions were about to come rolling in. “Yes, that’s correct. I prefer working alone; I only have to rely on myself.” He studies you, head tilted to the side as he considers your answer, and you nearly melt under his astute gaze. “I was the same way. It’s never easy, but the mentors and I will be right beside you during your time here.” Knowing that these 4 amazing people were here to share their experiences and guide you through your troubles made the task at hand much less daunting, and you couldn’t help but smile at the thought. Despite the intensity of the competition, you felt at ease, knowing they genuinely want the best for you.

“Ah, look at that face! So cute,” Ella coos, grinning back. You hide your face behind your hands, embarrassed beyond belief. Everyone chuckles at the sight, and you join in. With the atmosphere officially comfortable, you allow your eyes to trail over to Lisa. To your surprise, she’s already looking at you, lip between her teeth. 

“I see that you have 2 special talents listed.” Lisa starts, leaving room for you to elaborate. “Yes ma’am. While studying abroad in my youth, I learned 3 languages in addition to my native English.” The mentors look pleasantly surprised, and you continue with your other skill. “My mother is a professional chef, and we’ve always been close. She’s trained me over the years, and that’s something I’m very thankful for. During my time away from home I was fortunate enough to learn new techniques and styles from across the world.”

As you finish talking about yourself, you look to each and every one of the judges separately. You know it’s important to have a good connection with all of them, and you use this chance to do just that.

Upon locking eyes with Lisa again, your breath hitches. The light blush that rests on her cheeks, combined with the look she’s giving you, is enough to make you swoon. It’s innocent enough, the way she’s watching you; after all, she can just blame it on her role as a teacher -- she has to get a good understanding of her students. However, though, behind the innocent facade lies a much more sensual reason for her behavior. You don’t miss the way her eyes rake up your body, nor her smirk as she notices your hands mindlessly toying with the band of your shorts. You do your best to keep your attention on the others as they ask you questions about your resume, but that’s easier said than done.

Once they’ve finished with their questions, they invite you to take a seat anywhere you’d like. Despite your desire to book it next to Lisa, you don’t want to be impolite; that’s also not to say that you didn’t enjoy the company of the others -- you truly did. Clearly, though, no one can compare to Lisa.

You give them all another smile, the dimples of your cheeks on full display, and approach them one-by-one to shake their hands. They appreciate the gesture, and you’re confident that you’ve won them over that much more.

As you make your way to the seat beside Lisa, your heart beats wildly. It’s difficult, but you manage to suppress your anxiety for the time being. Letting your control slip now is definitely not an option.

In contrast to the heated look she had been giving you just moments before, Lisa now dons an adorable smile that nearly makes your heart burst. In the moment, you almost reach forward to touch her puffed out cheeks. 

You sit down beside her, and she takes a minute to look you over again. It’s baffling how she can go from so wholesome and adorable to flirty in such a short period of time. 

As the time ticks on and the mentors work through the list of contestants, the two of you continue to steal conversations and teasing glances.

Things are ramped up, however, when Lisa’s hand finds its way to your thigh, settling there for a bit. You attempt to push the intrusive thoughts from your mind, but they come flooding back the second she leans in to whisper something into your ear.

“You look gorgeous,” she tells you, warm breath fanning over your neck. Her slight accent only adds to the effect that her words have on you. All you can offer is a breathless thank you, thoughts completely jumbled at having the stunning woman do such things to you.

Before anyone can get suspicious, she backs off. The disappointment must’ve been evident, because she chuckles lightly and pats your knee in response. Thankfully no one had been paying you two any mind.

~~~ Practices ~~~

It wasn’t often that you came into the studio upset or exhausted, considering you knew you’d soon be cheered up once you saw Lisa, but she made sure to take care of you when those times came around. She could read you like a book, easily knowing when you’d had enough and needed a break. That’s not to say that she lowered her standards, though -- she was firm and demanding, but she checked on you often. She respected all of her students, but she couldn’t deny that she had a soft spot for you. You lived for her soft gaze and gentle touches on the days you needed them most.

Other days, though, you got a kick out of teasing her; playing dumb, purposefully missing steps, ignoring her instructions -- anything to pull a reaction from her. 

          ↪“Eyes forward,” she would call out, voice strong, upon catching you talking to a fellow trainee when you were meant to be practicing. Her jaw would be set, eyes menacing.

          ↪“You keep messing up. Here,” she’d declare, demonstrating the moves directly in front of you. She knew exactly what to do to get you going, and sometimes your plans backfired a bit.

          ↪Those times that you’d play dumb were by far the best, both of you secretly loving the back and forth of it all. “I’m sorry, miss. I just can’t seem to get the moves right.” You’d say, appearing innocent and sweet all the while. It was hard to contain yourself when she’d approach you from behind, pressing her body against your own. “One here,” she’d inform, placing your hand on your hip; “...and one here,” she’d finish, correcting your position once again. When the music restarted, she counted next to your ear, keeping time as her warm hands held yours, guiding you through the positions.  

And of course, the majority of the time, you were a great student for her. Her praise had a mighty effect on you, and there existed a mutual love for it. Being a strong dancer often worked in your favor.

~~~ Performances ~~~

Anytime you were set to perform, Lisa made sure to settle in and get ready to enjoy herself. The two of you had spent many weeks getting to know each other better, growing closer in the process. She found you captivating, and always loved to watch you on stage. The same can be said for you; seeing her dance was always the highlight of your day.

The two of you made sure to play things up, having a knack for getting the other riled up and squirming in their seat.

Watching her cool demeanor falter and ultimately crumble before you was one of your favorite things in the whole world. One of its only rivals was how she had to attempt to conceal it, knowing the cameras would be on her often. 

“I-I loved it. I’m very proud of you, Y/N.”

You smirked at her stutter; no one else was capable of making her blush as much as you did

~~~ Bonus: Backstage ~~~

“You all did so well. I loved that dance break in the middle of the song.” You gushed to a group of your fellow contestants, smiling at how happy they were. Over the course of the competition you had become something of a “celebrity” yourself, noticing that the other girls would always approach you for help and get giddy when you agreed. Not to mention that the mentors were always proud of your progress and dedication to the craft. The conversation continued, and you settled into a comfortable rhythm; everyone taking a turn to share their favorite part of their performance. Seeing these girls -- your friends -- so proud of themselves was a wonderful thing. Everyone worked so hard, day in and day out, to put forth their best effort in everything that they did. Celebrating each other’s wins just felt right, despite the fact that this is a competition. It always hurt to see anyone go home, considering you spent so much time getting to know each other. These were the people who were there for you when you needed it most; all of you know how hopeless it can feel, and you wanted to protect the others from that in every way possible. 

“Y/N!” The sound of someone calling your name pulls you from the conversation, and you send a quick bow and goodbye to the girls before departing. 

Your eyes travel across the crowded stage, searching for the source of the noise. You spot Lisa looking at you, hand beckoning you towards her. A familiar warmth spreads across your body at the action, and you don’t even attempt to stop the smile that takes over your features.

“Yes?” You ask sweetly, approaching her. Her hands slip into yours, fingers lacing in a sweet embrace. “I want you to come to my dressing room once everyone goes back to the dorm. You impressed me tonight, but you still have some things to learn.” As that last sentence falls from her lips, your blood runs cold. Her voice had dropped lower, and you feared what she meant by that. Had you mixed up the choreography without realizing it? Surely not. The only thing you were sure of in that moment was the way she was studying you, almost intimidatingly. Her jaw was set, eyes narrowed, and you swallowed thickly upon noticing this. “Of course. I appreciate the feedback.” She smiled, seemingly pleased with your answer.

With a swipe of her thumb across your knuckles, she was gone.

A sigh left your lips, your mind racing at all of the possible things to come.

~~~ Bonus: A Private Meeting ~~~

“You wanted to see me, Lisa?” You announce upon entering the room and shutting the door behind yourself. The two of you had long ago left the formalities behind, opting instead to be on a first name basis. It was much more intimate, and you preferred things to be that way with her. Of course, occasionally you would use her official title just to get a certain reaction out of her. Slipping it into conversation when around the other instructors always worked to get her attention and catch her off guard. It was easy to see that she enjoyed it, the innocent way it rolled off your tongue. 

You sit down in the chair opposite her, feeling the coolness of the leather press against your calves as you get situated.

“Good job tonight; you get better and better with every performance.” You thank her, both well aware of how much you enjoy her praise. Her expression turns more serious, and you take a deep breath. Here goes. “I don’t think it’s wise for you to be so close with some of the other contestants, though. Not all of them are interested in gaining your friendship for the right reasons.” With furrowed eyebrows and slightly pursed lips, you look at her. “What exactly do you mean?” Her expression turns unreadable, and you sink into your seat a little more. “Some of them may want to get into your head to throw you off your game. Despite what you want to believe, Y/N, this is still a contest.” You sigh, now a bit upset that she’s treating you like a child. “I’m aware of that, Lisa, but I can take care care of myself.” At the change in tone, the air around you shifts into something more tense. “Are you sure? Because you seem to be pretty oblivious to their actions.” She bites back, shifting her seat to get a better look at you, and crosses her arms.

When you don’t respond, she takes this as her cue to continue. “Don’t play dumb, Y/N. I see the way they look at you, so entranced. They know that acting helpless will get your attention. It’s just to distract you!” She says, exasperated, jaw set and eyes cut, just like earlier.

“Are you jealous?” You ask, a contrasting tone of accusal and uncertainty in your voice. No turning back now.

She scoffs, rolling her eyes. “Jealous? Of what?” Her eyes setting on you again, a cocky expression on her face.

“Oh, I don’t know,” you start, toying with her; you know exactly what to say. “Maybe at the fact that they get to be so close to me all the time, like you want to be. Or maybe that we sleep together, especially when it gets cold in the dorms.”

It’s her turn to be speechless. “I’m more observant that you act, miss.” She gulps, and you bite back a smirk. “I see how you look at me; your desire is obvious. We’ve both known it for a long time now… Why don’t you just admit it?” The teasing tone in your voice is thick, and it’s clearly getting to her. Who knew you could make her feel like this with just your words?

“Y/N…” Lisa says your name almost as a warning, knowing that you’re on the edge of crossing the line. She failed to deny your claims; after all, it would do no good. She can’t disguise her feelings for you.

A surge of confidence washes over you, and you take that as a sign to scoot closer to her. Soon, you’re mere inches away from her, your body pressed against the side of the seat as you rest your chin in the palm of your hand. Her tongue darts out of her mouth, soothing her lips.

You take her in for a moment, enjoying the sight. Her long dark hair tumbles past her shoulders in loose waves, and a blush takes residence upon her cheeks. Having her like this was something you only dreamed of in the past; seeing her so aroused because of you truly made you think back on how far the two of you have come.

To put an end to the silence, you loop two fingers underneath her chin, successfully coaxing her into meeting your gaze. Your eyes fall to her lips as you ask, “Am I wrong?” Before you can continue, her resolve fades. She leans forward, capturing your lips in a searing kiss. Any ounce of doubt that you had before melts away as she pulls you closer.

With inhibition and processing skills long gone, you slip from your chair and into hers, settling in her lap. One of her arms wraps around your waist to hold you steady, while her other hand tangles itself into your hair. A swift bite to your lip, paired with a flex of her warm thigh beneath you, sends a jolt through your body and earns her a low groan. She shudders against you, and that simple act works wonders in boosting your confidence.

All too quickly, a sudden noise from just outside the door startles you; reluctantly, Lisa pulls away. You nearly gasp at how dark her eyes have gotten in the heat of the moment. “I’m going to go see what that was,” she informs, gently setting you down in her seat as she stands up. Before turning to walk away, however, she plants another kiss on your lips. “Don’t even think about moving. I’m not done with you yet.”

[delyth88]

Thoughts after rewatching Episode 4

Okay, so I took a couple of days to get over the excruciating cringeworthyness of a few many moments in episode 4 and have just finished rewatching it.

And I have to say thank goodness for whatever it is in the human brain that allows us to adapt! lol No, but srsly, I found it a much easier watch the second time, and its definitely keeping up the trend of the first three episodes of being something I can enjoy more the second time than the first.

So, my now somewhat less instant reaction thoughts:

I hadn’t noticed that it’s Sylvie that initiates the hand holding on Lamentis 1.  And I think I prefer this.  One thing I can’t stand is romance in TV or film where it’s all about the guy winning over the girl, like she’s clearly not interested, but somehow by the end of the movie she’s in love.  Okay, that’s a bit harsh, sometimes it’s done well, but it’s a convention that gets my hackles up and gets me all defensive, so I think I was taking some of this into the episode with me.

Interestingly, now that I’m thinking of it, I think this moment and the moment Sylvie asks if Loki is okay while they’re being escorted by the guards are the only moments I can recall where she showed any form of affection for him. *shrugs* 

Poor boy also seems so surprised at this.  And uncertain how to respond.  And I can’t help but see this in relation to the scene in Thor 1 where the frost giant grabs his forearm...  :’(

I also think another part of the reason I so disliked the romance on my first watch is that it was just another example of Loki over-doing the emotion thing in comparison to his previous characterisation. He certainly looks more into it than Sylvie, and this just bugs me, because again I think the way Sylvie is acting here is what I would have expected from Loki based on the films.

In the time prison, while I still don’t like the getting kicked in the crotch gimmick, I do like that they showed us Loki attempting to get out of the situation in what seems quite a reasonable way.  He explains the situation to Sif and asks for her help to escape.  I thought it was quite interesting, because we see his first instinct is to use his skills of persuasion and try to escape. Firstly because it’s an instance where he’s trying to plot an escape, not just avoiding her or fighting her. I like that he seems to have some hope that this is possible and isn’t just 100% resigned to the TVA being all-powerful.  And secondly, he speaks to Sif as a person, he doesn’t just treat her like some sort of solid hologram and try and knock her out, or stand by the door to make a surprise attack.  It doesn’t work, of course, and we’re supposed to find that funny, but at least he tried in a plausible way onscreen. unlike IW  And he asks her to trust him.  Which I found interesting because if he’s asking this then he must think there’s some chance that she will, which means there’s at least some level of respect between them.  And I like that.  I know I’m reading way too much into this that the writers certainly didn’t intend, but let me play over here.

I still don’t like the narcissist line.  But I think I can buy Loki exaggerating in his confession to get her to stop.  He doesn’t seem to be really particularly bothered by what he’s saying.  But when she walks out and says he will always be alone, even after what he’s just said, that seems to have an impact on him.

I do love this image though. He looks so smol. So sweet.

When Mobius retrieves Loki from the time prison after the first time, I can see after a second watch that Mobius is actually a little angry/disappointed that Loki ran off after the variant in Roxxcart.  Its subtle well subtler than Loki’s reactions so I hadn’t noticed.

I still dislike the way they did the romance thing.  The interrogation scene where Loki’s all “eww no, I don’t like her!” and then has this realisation that perhaps he does.  I felt like I was being beaten around the head with it.  Like teenagers teasing someone for liking someone else. smh

I’m also reminded that the English language really isn’t very good when it comes to words for ‘liking’ someone. I mean the UK seems to have ‘to fancy’ which would be more accurate, but gotta say I’m glad they didn’t use that here.

I still hate that Loki seems utterly unable to keep a secret or hide his emotions. To me this was a fundamental part of his character, and yet here we have Mobius calling him out because he can’t help but have this pained expression on his face and can’t keep his voice steady.  Black Widow wouldn’t have had to spend more than a minute with this variant of Loki.

Mobius: “What are you doing?”

Loki: “Passing the time.”

This line made me laugh this time.  Sassy Loki!

I still like the slightly veiled way Mobius apologises to Loki for saying he’s only destined to be the villain to make other people better. Nice, not too over the top. Makes Loki smile.

That animatronic timekeeper stuff was just weird.  There better be some good payoff for this in the next two episodes.

And now to the bit I hated the most on my first watch – that super cringey interrupted confession of feelings.

Looking at this again with fresh eyes I wonder if Loki was about to explain Mobius’s theory that their moment on Lamentis 1 might be able to destroy the TVA.  It just got awkward because to explain that he’d have to explain how he feels.  And I think they exaggerated that to make the impact of the pruning bigger.  

First he says “then who created the TVA?”  Then he turns away and he seems to be looking around for inspiration, and I think he’s actually thinking about this.  It wasn’t just rhetorical. We can see the moment he realises something, and he doesn’t seem particularly happy about it, and then he turns back to Sylvie.

“Sylvie, I have to tell you something.”

“We will figure this out.” I think this is an aside after he’s taken in how upset she is about this. And it’s true that if they take down the TVA then they probably have to learn who’s in charge eventually. And then he gets back to his original point.

“Because… er… back on Lamentis…” I think here he’s trying to find a way to explain that their moment caused the nexus event, and a big one at that, but he’s struggling to do so in a way that doesn’t make him completely vulnerable by telling her how he feels. But it’s not possible to talk about it so clinically, so he hesitates, “This is new for me…”  he realises he doesn’t actually know quite how to put this.

Now, if I can rationalise it in this way as being an important piece of information he needed to tell her that would help them bring down the TVA then I can be more okay with this than if it was just a poorly timed romantic confession (which is certainly what it appeared to be on first watch). Again, I’m probably clutching at straws here, but it helps me not want to gag while watching this. lol

I mean I still think it’s just a cringey awful scene and it’s so very cliche to interrupt someone before they can say ‘I love you’. But this is a way I can rationalise his actions and I’ll stick with this till proven otherwise, presumably in the next episode. Ha!

I can’t help but give a nod to another beautiful example of Tom’s eyes matching his shirt in the mid-credits scene. <3

I also think that what I’m experiencing watching each episode the first time is much more from Loki’s point of view.  Like I’m more personally invested in him doing well, him not being embarrassed, him looking good to others.  And so since the story is actually giving him a hell of a time I’m experiencing a lot of negative feelings on his behalf.  And this is because it’s unfolding in real time in front of me and in that moment it could go anywhere! So it feels more real perhaps??  On a second watch I know what’s coming and I’m able to watch it with an eye for the storytelling as a whole, not just as the real events of Loki’s life.  I don’t think I’ve been this much of a fan of any character in recent times to have experienced this before.  So it’s a fascinating thing to learn about being a fan. *shrugs*

Anyway, in summary, much more bearable on second watch.  Some good stuff in there, and I can ignore a good amount of the stuff I didn’t like – at least until next week.

So again I’m sorta somewhere in between loving and hating this show.

@iamanartichoke​ @scintillatingshortgirl19​ maybe some of this is useful to you?