#i find that to be hysterical
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darn-it-agatha · 2 years ago
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George motherfucking R. R. martin said "Allright so ya'll wanted a twist huh I'm gonna name the raven boy raven." Like, george, me too, my lack of naming prowess loves that.
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starry-bi-sky · 4 months ago
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on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.
Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.
Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.
Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.
There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.
#svsss#luo binghe#svsss au#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#disciple shen yuan#lbh. visibly exhausted and with twitchy eyes: im fine :) | everyone else: ho no the fuck you ARENT.#SQQ was hysterical not because he found out LBH was half-demon but bc he was having a long-awaited mental breakdown over his autonomy :)#or (limited) lack thereof. he was having a sudden onset crisis of mortality and was handling at quite literally the WORST time. oops#im thinking very hard that LBH would never push his disciple into the abyss especially with no system to force him to. so SQQ either#had to goad him into it (failing always) or throw himself in. he ended up doing it himself but not before some very impressive hysterics.#BUT ALSO. IF THIS HAD BEEN WHERE SQQ WAS THE HALF-HEAVENLY DEMON INSTEAD IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO GREAT.#and by great i mean horribly angsty bc SQQ is NOT doing too hot and has. in very SY-like fashion. convinced himself that LBH will kill him#when he finds out he's a demon. so when it comes out i have this mental image of him lunging at LBH and LBH flinches back. but SQQ wraps hi#hands around the blade of Zheng Yang and yanks it up so the tip of the blade is digging into his chest where is heart is. LBH can't yank th#sword away without risking slicing into SQQ's hands. SQQ's hair has fallen out of its tail/bun and is now messily spilling down his#back and its NO helping the kinda deranged look he has going on. he's visibly shaking and his eyes keep flittering away and back at LBH's#face. SQQ is looking at the messages from the system warning him that he has to go into the abyss or punishment will occur. he's like.#rambling though. talking about how shizun doesn't *like* unclean things and there is nothing more unclean than a demon. like he is#INSISTING. LBH can't?? get a fucking word in. actually. SY isn't listening that much either anyways. too overwhelmed with the system and#the amount of stress he's under and his crumbling mental state and the innate and primal desire to live even when he's standing in front of#his own executioner. it all ends with him sitting on the ground at the lip of the abyss with his hair falling in his face. he looks so#unkempt and fallen apart and so distinctly *non-Shen Qingqiu* that LBH feels physically ill over it. tears are streaming down SQQ's face#and despite everything he is smiling. its not a nice smile. its a very frayed falling apart at the seams about to crack smile.#he tells shizun not to worry about staining his blade with this disciple's filthy blood because this disciple will take care of it himself.#and then he falls into the abyss before luo binghe can so much as grab him. the only reason LBh doesn't literally jump in after him is bc#he was numb with shock and the abyss was already closed before he could feel his legs again :]
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wallworms · 2 months ago
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hello there, I thought I should post this drawing of Elias I did around 1-2 months ago in the notes app on my phone (for some reason).
this was the first tma related piece of art I ever made. at that point in time, I hadn't seen a single piece fanart or cosplay or anything depicting this man, and yet, somehow, I managed to produce the exact same design as everyone else.
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vashti-lives · 2 months ago
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Things currently on the first page of the "hot right now" section of knitting patterns search page on ravelry:
Several basic raglan sweaters
Mesh/fishnet sweater covered in sequins.
A dissected rat; complete with internal organs
Cute vest with stylized flowers
Two different sweaters (one pullover, one cardigan) with the same unicorn tapestry design by the same designer. Each pattern is $13 and there isn't a discount for buying both and neither pattern description mentions the other pattern. Designers can and should charge what they want for their work but this feels like a wild choice to me TBH.
Thong/Speedo "bulge" version-- ie designed for people with a penis. This pattern is no longer available??? Why is it on the hot right now page?????
Cute Christmas fair isle sweater.
Coin purse in shape of ten week old fetus.
Ranunculus sweater. Obviously.
Bookmark in shape of squished rat; complete with blood puddle.
Headband with extremely impressive goat horns and little ears. It's free and went in my library immediately.
5 different PetiteKnit patterns that still somehow look exactly the same.
Purse in the shape of grotesque head. For some reason the featured example includes a real cat tooth????
Hood with lamb ears being modeled by depressed young man.
That sweater with all the eyes which calls for yarn that is $58 per skein??
Hat that looks like a dead fish, but in a cute way.
Latest Stephen West shawl.
I don't know whats happening but the trending page pattern page has never been so chaotic. I am obsessed. Let's have more dead rat patterns and fewer tastefully boring PetitKnit patterns.
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marzely · 3 months ago
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The way Spite reacts to Manfred not being around anymore makes me wonder. Do y'all think they hung out? Like Spite would go see Manfred and Manfred would just show him cool things he found or got during the day? Like do you think Lucanis would at times wake up and find himself next to Manfred just hissing at him? Or even in Emmrichs room since Spite occasionally talks to Emmrich so he'd go hangout with Emmrich and Manfred maybe have some tea together.
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elany · 11 months ago
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Yk what I want? I want a very early stages post canon labrumisu, but from Chilchuck's POV.
Imagine mister 'interparty romance is the devil' visiting court just to see these three circling each other like a pack of uniquely unhinged cats. And of course he sees it immediately, he's nothing if not perceptive and he's seen this happen so, so many times before. Kabru is hardly subtle in his fascination with Laios, who trusts him in turn more than nearly anybody else. He can see how close Mithrun and Kabru still are, even when there's little reason for the former captain to even stay in Melini. He can see where this is going. And he can see the disaster it's gonna end up in.
So he's just staring at them in horror, trying to figure out what in the world the dynamic here even is and glaring daggers at Kabru all the while for seemingly being the linchpin of this entire bullshit situation. King, his adviser and a fucking foreign noble?? Who thought THAT was a good idea! Is nobody else seeing this?? (no lol) Why is nobody objecting to this politically unsound love triangle that could literally ruin the kingdom they've only just established??
The anger! The distress! The despair when he first sees Laios getting all giddy when Mithrun so much as talks to him. Because hell, now he can't even blame the entire situation on one pretty boy insisting on having fingers in every possible pie, on political and personal level both!
And then they just. Quietly get together. All three of them. And Chil's just watching from the sidelines in complete bafflement because he's invented infinite worst case scenarios for how this will implode in all of their faces and destroy their friend group and topple the entire country and--
Instead they do. This. He'd be relieved if he wasn't so goddamn mad that he's spent months worrying about this shit just for them to resolve it in the least dramatic way possible.
Fuck this, he's taking a holiday.
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vigilskeep · 4 months ago
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the lucanis romance pacing is kind of objectively terrible, no idea what the writing thought process was, but it’s so funny in-world that it basically circles around to a win for me
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saltlaamp · 3 months ago
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Do you think when the bats play cards against humanity the "Dead Parents" card is banned or do you think its like a trump-card like "The Placenta" or "Being a motherfucking socerer"
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kindaorangey · 5 months ago
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"are you asking me or making me?" is soooooo interesting to me because i think armand only asks it when he can't gauge whether he's letting louis down. it's barely even sexual - it's a hail mary. it's a show of trust, indirectly admitting that he wants to do something other than what louis expects of him, but that he's willing to obey louis anyway, for the sake of their relationship. it's sort of heartbreaking watching them at the sacré-cœur, because if louis had said "i'm making you" armand would've done it in a heartbeat. he would've taken it as a show of committment on louis' part, and he wouldn't have betrayed him. but louis takes the question just as an expression of disagreement, and so he doesn't play the game. ironically, he respects armand's independence too much to make him turn madeleine if he doesn't want to. and so armand isn't convinced of louis' commitment to him, and he betrays him.
and by the time we see them in san fransisco, louis knows what the question means now, and answers "no, arun, i'm not asking" without question. and armand accepts it without complaint, even as it pains him. companionship really is the most important thing in the world to armand, just like it is for lestat, and he's willing to do any number of horrible things to louis and himself just to keep him as a companion, just like lestat. louis' biggest mistake is not realising how to use that to his advantage sooner.
edit: HELP people are reblogging this again. i misremembered the context of the scene - louis is asking armand to witness the turning, not do it himself. still, if armand had gone along to witness, that would have 100% been taken as implicit permission for louis to turn madeleine (thereby adhering to the first of the great laws) and, in essence, "agreeing" with her turning where before he ordered claudia to drive madeleine out of town. this hypocrisy, and the further bending of the rules for louis' sake (he's given permission to turn a mortal despite neither of them being in the coven), would have been seen by the coven as betrayal. armand knows this; he doesn't think madeleiene should be turned for these reasons; that's why he asks, "are you asking me or making me?"
still. if louis had said "i'm making you" i think armand would've gone along to witness, implicitly giving his permission for madeleine to be turned and functionally changing his allegiance from the coven to louis once and for all. so the core point of the post still stands.
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darcyolsson · 7 months ago
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I CANNOT BELIEEEEEVEEVVEEREHHENEW😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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hyperthermiatapes · 5 days ago
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My favorite pastime is making Tom Riddle suffer in my writing and my newest brilliant idea is giving him an autoimmune disease. Because get this, Tom Riddle, the same person that thinks he’s better than everyone else, has a body that is trying to kill itself. He’s going to be pissed, and Harry is going to find it hysterical.
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missus-paint · 4 months ago
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actually living up to my header
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sidewalk-cracks · 3 months ago
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literally please give Battison a Dick Grayson in the Batman Part II.
The first movie was about Bruce's journey from not wanting to be Bruce Wayne, to realizing that he does in fact need to be Bruce Wayne, and that Bruce Wayne can be a force used for good just like Batman. Logically then, the second movie should explore the next immediate question on the table: okay, he needs to be Bruce Wayne. So who is Bruce Wayne? What kind of man is Bruce Wayne going to be? Bruce still feels defined by his trauma of his parent's death. Bruce Wayne still feels defined by his parents' shadows, by his father's legacy. He still feels defined by his grief. How does he make Bruce Wayne be something different?
Dick Grayson would serve as the PERFECT device for Bruce to discover who he can be. Because Dick Grayson is literally just a young Bruce, and Bruce sees that instantly (it's why he takes him in in the first place). So throughout the movie, as Bruce tries to help Dick process his grief, he's inadvertently processing his OWN grief. Dick Grayson unknowingly helps Bruce process his own trauma, and through their developing relationship shows him that Bruce Wayne can be more than a recluse, a failure, a man drowning in his own head- he can be a protector, a friend, a parent.
When Dick points a gun at Tony Zucco's head, Bruce talks him down, and all the words that he gives him are words he had wanted when he was a kid and his grief was fresh. Even though they're gone, you're not alone. I understand.
BATTISON NEEDS DICK GRAYSON TO BE ABLE TO TAKE THE NEXT STEP OF HIS CHARACTER GROWTH.
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rosecabenson · 4 months ago
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The Squad playing ‘pass the phone’
Casey: I’m passing the phone to someone who dated a walking red flag with a receding hairline line on and off since season 1.
Olivia:…OKAY CAS—
Olivia: I’m passing the phone to someone who has IAB fighting for their lives.
Eliot:…I’m not that bad! That’s an exaggeration- anyway, I’m passing the phone to someone who KEEPS DISAPPEARING FOR SOME STRANGE ASS REASON-
Alex: I HAD A REASON! MOST OF THE TIME- Anyway, I’m passing the phone to the bodyguard of the squad, love you fin!
Fin: I’ll take that, anyways I’m passing the phone to the bony ass that refuses to retire-
Munch:…First of all-
Munch: what ever, You know back in the day in the—
(John say the line!!)
Munch: fine! I’m passing the phone to someone whose hair has been left at an AA meeting for the past 30 years-
Cragen: Okay so fuck you-
Cragen: I’m passing the phone to the man who started the sassy man apocalypse-
Rafael: And I stand on business- I’m passing the phone to the person who’s family genuinely needs psychiatric intervention-
Amanda:…OKAY-
Amanda: I’m passing the phone to someone who we can all agree makes the meanest pasta-
Sonny: Period- anyways, I’m passing the phone to someone who almost went gray dealing with Casey Novak trying to charge the military with murder-
Branch: She’s gonna kill me one day- I’m passing the phone to someone who is in desperate need of a vacation-
Olivia: me again- okay, I’m passing the phone to someone who we all randomly hated for months until we randomly stopped, kinda- one day-
(Then I accidentally fell inlove with her)
Casey: I’m still telling my therapist about that- anyways, I’m passing the phone BACK TO THE WOMAN WHO CANT GET OVER ELLIOT-
Olivia: AND IM PASSING THE PHONE TO SOMEONE WHOS HAD MORE HAIR COLORS THAN I CAN COUNT-
Casey: IM PASSING THE PHONE TO SOMEONE WHO CANT KEEP A HAIR STYLE FOR ONE SEASON-
Olivia: IM PASSING THE PHONE TO SOMEONE WHO IS IN SO MUCH DENAIL IT SETS OFF EVERY GAYDAR IN THE AREA-
Casey: HEY THA—
Olivia: I’m passing the phone to someone who defends and is STILL NOT OVER HER EX -
Casey: THATS DIABOLICAL.
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marzely · 3 months ago
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Just thought about Crow Rook and Lucanis talking over a dead body maybe because they were asked to look into some killings that are being rumored to be the Crows but it seems like someone trying to imitate the crows. I just pictured them looking over stab wounds like:
Lucanis: Gotta be an amateur. Look at the placement of these stabs. It's not even clean cuts they're jagged!
Rook: Sloppy work. Definitely not anything a crow would. Any house would be embarrassed to claim this assassination.
And I can just picture the other companion like:
Harding put off by the casualness of Lucanis and Rook talking about how crude the work of this assassination.
Davrin: (scoffs) Crows (with a shake of his head)
Emmrich: If we need to ask any questions I'd be more than happy to help.
Neve just watches with a smirk because she finds it amusing.
Bellara is writing all this down to use in her serial.
Taash is crouched down next to them looking over in interest like the miles meme.
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lureithleon · 3 months ago
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stolas' top hat defense squad
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