#i finally fucking finished this jesus fucking christ
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silcobrainrot Ā· 3 days ago
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I was typing out a reply to this post and then I realized I lost the plot so bad that I didn't want to derail OP's point so here it is. OP's points that I'm reflecting on:
Zaun is a very fucked place with a very fucked system. Heā€™s doing what he thinks needs to be done in order to at some point be able to rein it in and make it better. He wanted to give Zaun a fighting chance against Piltover. He wanted to make them equal. And in a place where there are no rules. And people talk with violence. Youā€™re going to have to make some very awful choices in order to not only take control, but have enough power to fix it. He may not have been the one to change Zaun, but heā€™s raised the girl that could.
"but heā€™s raised the girl that could." SO fucking true and I wish s2 had let her. firing that rocket at the council was a promise to make their lives hell. i didn't need to see her as the leader of a movement but it would have been nice to see her enable and enact change just by being a powerful loose cannon. Act 1 almost gave us this but then she decided that Jinx was dead in ep 4 and then we don't see her do much of anything until she shows up to the battle in the finale. She could have spent the season being unhinged, having agency and making actual choices that have consequences for herself, Zaun, and Piltover (she was responsible for most of the inciting incidents in s1). The good consequences and the bad.
Let her run wild. Show her lose herself to her grief and anger and how much she misses him and how fucked all of this is. Then bring her back. Not in a redemption arc way, I don't think she needs that, but in a way where she finally understands what she wants her life to be. She mourns the loss, she comes out of her grief, she forgives herself for killing him because it's what he would have wanted, and for the first time ever, she gets to choose what her path in life will be. It's time to be her own person. She's not a hero, she'll never lose her enjoyment of violence and chaos, but she is no longer fueled by anger and hatred and vengeance.
Let Sevika use the stuff Jinx does on her own--avenging Silco and taking vengeance against Piltover--to lead a movement. Let Sevika struggle with keeping the people who worked under Silco loyal to the mission. Show us how Sevika got on good terms with Scar [the firelights' leader while Ekko was away] and what an alliance between the movement for change inspired by Jinx, and the firelights, could accomplish for Zaun. Bringing them hope that change is really possible. Getting them out of their homes and their "every man for himself" mentality and get them believing in something. Wanting more for themselves. Organizing. Community services. Shared resources. Fucking unionizing idk. We see so many of Zaun's worst people but there are normal people living in normal poverty just trying to get by down there, too. Show us the Zaun Silco had become so disconnected from due to isolation and obsession.
It started with Silco, despite how flawed his methods were and how they did so much damage to the Undercity. An evil he thought was necessary because he didn't know any other truth in life besides pain and misery. But it started with him, and it gets realized by his daughter and lieutenant. Sevika is probably the closest thing he had to a friend, who stuck by his side despite how much their methods were hurting the people they were trying to liberate. The people who worked closest to him, lived closest to him, and could see the flaws in both his methods and him as a man, finishing what he started.
But instead we get Jinx committing suicide and Sevika joining the council which. Jesus fucking christ I don't even want to get myself started on that bullshit. @wetnoodle thank you for the brain worm
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chaitigers Ā· 1 year ago
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I FINISHED MY LITTLE GUY
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hauntingblue Ā· 10 months ago
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Them doing a photo lineup of the mugis for the battle and when it's Robin's turn she just turns and does a blue eyed stare at the camera šŸ˜­šŸ˜­
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Look at her šŸ˜­šŸ˜­
#i have a question about the heart pirates.... they just look like doctor's assistants... they dont even have weapons and for all we've seen#the only one who maybe can fight is the big guy and he's new... and bepo is the navigator and draws shit maps... how does the crew work.....#well all minks can fight but idk if bepo was trained in zou.... so....#why is sanji's little dance now moving his ass side to side akdhaksk#oh finally!!! shachi and penguin are swordmen and bepo kicks!! we really haven't seen much of them... idr if they did much in sabaody#honestly if law just took his friends for the ride and took care of everything else.... respect#the animation..... JESUS CHRIST!!!!!#there really was no need to bound man now but alas it looks cool#denjiro ITS TIME!!! YEAAAAAAHHH#the wig..... dramatic reveal....#kinemons plan being misunderstood and working becausw of it ajdhajshsj#and what boats did they destroy??? lmaoo??#luffys fit kinda falls apart on his orange jorts... purple and orange okay but red too??? mmm.....maybe red and purple dont match either....#kinemom saying he might die bc he has used up all his life's good luck HAJAHAAJAJ#okay lets finish that last boat but can someone get momo.... please.....#LAW!!! SHAMBLES!!!! GET MOMO!! its so funny how they complain about him not drawing like shit anymore ajdhaks#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 980#sanji can fly come on now....#come on now sanji..... dont let a theatre adult win... well nvm what is that... lmao sanji just taking hits instead of taking nami inside#also the fact that tokis fruit is around now.... who has that power.... or did it go.back in time to appear in her original time???#the orchestral strings version of the first opening as momo flies away..... damn#OMG JINBEEEEE!!!! HE DESTROYS THE SHIP! SERVES CUNT! AND ANNOUNCES HE IS JOINING THE CREW!!! FUCK YEAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!#luffy is so happy akdhsksj ME TOO!!!! FINALLY!!!!!#episode 979#<- fucked up.again#luffy loves jinbe so much i really love their relationship!!!!! that's his father now. shanks who
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cottoncandysprite Ā· 1 year ago
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What the fuck was that
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lupsbro Ā· 1 year ago
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welp i am crying
thanks taz balance episode 69
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aro-carpenter Ā· 6 months ago
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Wough
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patchworkgargoyle Ā· 8 months ago
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Monkey Man was Rad as Hell
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gentlethorns Ā· 8 months ago
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jesus christ i hate my body. it's like owning a shitty used car all over again except that I CAN'T SELL IT AND BUY A NEW ONE. unless you would classify orthopedic surgery as doing that and even then that's far in the future and does me no good whatsoever right now
#she bork#tbd#i try to love my body. i really do. i don't like the way it looks but i could get past that and appreciate its function IF IT WERE#FUNCTIONAL. which it is not.#no idea whether my body is punishing me for throwing the truck yesterday or buckling under the hormonal strain of my upcoming cycle or just#deciding to be a dick but the bottom line is that i am exhausted and my body hurts so bad. my wrist my thumb my legs my neck everything. i'm#even having a recurrence of the nerve problems i had in my foot neck in like. TWENTY-TWENTY-ONE. why why why why why. why does my body exist#ONLY to spite me. i swear to god if i get home and i can't put in my fucking words bc of how my body feels i'm gonna freak. i am SO CLOSE TO#THE END DO NAWT NERF ME AT THE FINISH LINE#*my foot BACK in like 2021 lol. even my typos mock me#jesus i just can't emphasize enough how fucking bad my body hurts. my wrist and thumb feel like they have fucking ground glass in them (idk#about my wrist but ik my thumb has a bone spur and that's probably close enough lol). my foot feels like someone is stabbing it w a dull#knife right in that tender spot by the inner ankle bone and making it ache. i feel fucking exhausted and a little sick? idk how even just#like Not Good or like just Off. and i'm STILL at work and then tomorrow i STILL have to run the truck again and then i'm finally off#thursday. jesus fucking christ if i have to spend all weekend sleeping to get over this bullshit i am gonna be SO mad
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autistic-katara Ā· 1 year ago
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i need to read some fanfiction before i actually kill myself
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saffytaffylmfao Ā· 1 year ago
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AYUUUUPPPP
GUESS WHO JUST FINISHED THEIR ADVANCED OPEN WATER DIVER COURSEEEEE
THATā€™S RIGHT BITCHES
MEšŸ’„šŸ’„šŸ’„šŸ’„
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keyleth-clay Ā· 2 years ago
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GOBBLEKNOB RUMPLEDUMP BRYNEHILDE
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lovrboyx Ā· 5 months ago
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nothing ruins the vibe faster than a motheršŸ« 
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outofbinaryspace Ā· 1 year ago
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Itā€™s fine Iā€™m fine everythingā€™s fine
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remxedmoon Ā· 2 months ago
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so all you need to do right now is disappear.
HHHHAPPY ISATVERSARY EVERYONE. hereā€™s redraws for every single battle cg in the game. 36 drawings this time around, with 11 of those being custom (though admittedly a good portion of those are edits). combined with the portrait redraws i made back in september, iā€™ve made 114 redraws for this project! jesus christ! just like those redraws, these are completely free to use!! as long as iā€™m credited and itā€™s not for commercial purposes, go wild!! do whatever you want!!!
no i didnā€™t make these for isatā€™s 1 year anniversary this is just wildly good timing.
i genuinely canā€™t fit all of these cgs in one post even with the 30 image limit on browser, but iā€™ll still try to fit Most of them below the cut (without making this post horrifically long), along with some notes that might be important šŸ‘
okay! once again, i labeled all of the custom art as such in the drive(UPDATE. NNOT TRUE ANYMORE. reformatted file names to be easier to mod in auau. apologies!), but if you want a full list, the customs are hatless siffrin jackpot, bonnie jackpot, bonnie special attack, bigfrin attack, and a bunch of alts which are definitely not related to any projects iā€™ve been thinking about donā€™t worry about it. and out of those customs, only like. 3 of them are actually completely from scratch.
while i did my absolute best to keep the aspect ratios completely the same as the originals, thereā€™s 3 exceptions that i just couldnā€™t get to work.
isabeauā€™s hair in his special attack cg wouldnā€™t fit in frame if i kept things completely accurate to the og, so i moved his cg down a bit. it shouldnā€™t cause any issues with modding or anything, itā€™ll just appear slightly lower than it does in game. alasā€¦
isabeauā€™s sleeve and mirabelleā€™s hair made their jackpot sprites a little larger than the originals? iā€™m hoping this doesnā€™t have too much of an effect (since the jackpot sprites have inconsistent sizes) but i canā€™t test this myself unfortunately. aaa feel free to let me know on discord if any problems arise!!
i managed to fix these, so they arenā€™t going to cause problems now, but my original drawings for mirabelle and siffrin in the final attack scene were a pain in the ass to fix. mirabelleā€™s sprite was slightly too talk to fit in frame and siffrinā€™s hat whacked bonnie in the face while i was editing everyone together. iā€™m only mentioning this because it took like an hour and a half to fix them and finish the scene.
all that aside, these were a fucking BLAST to work on. apparently this ended up taking 57 hours over exactly 10 days. which is a little worrying if you do the math on that but somehow i have not burnt myself out. i will be doing enemies at some point!!! but probably not for a little bit. i think my friends will actually kill me if i donā€™t take a break.
once again, happy birthday isat. youā€™ve ruined my life and i wouldnā€™t have it any other way (silly).
also, on an actual serious note, this little timeloop game has genuinely changed my life for the better? you guys are probably sick of hearing it at this point (or maybe not, i donā€™t talk about myself That Much. i hope), but i was practically a ghost for about 2 years before joining this fandom. itā€™s a little surreal to suddenly have friends (plural!!!) and people who Care about me, or even know i exist, honestly. itā€™s weird!! in a good way!!!
i donā€™t think i wouldā€™ve ever come back to social media if this community wasnā€™t so welcoming. iā€™ve met a lot of really great people through this game!!! so, uh, thank you isat, i guess. hereā€™s to another year.
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runraerun Ā· 3 months ago
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Steddie Amnesia Fic: 1/3
-> Part 2 | Part 3 | AO3
cw: lots of head trauma/brain injury/recovery stuff.
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Steve wakes up in the hospital with someone snoring loudly on his leg, mouth open, drool getting soaked up into the scratchy hospital blanket over him.
Steve just stares.
Itā€™sā€¦ Freddie? No, thatā€™s not right... Eddie! Eddie ā€˜the freakā€™ Munson, known delinquent and drug dealerā€¦ resting his head on Steveā€™s lap.
What the hellā€¦?
Steve reaches up with a wobbly, IV-ridden hand to clumsily pat along his head, but instead of meeting messy hair, he meets a thick wad of bandages. He flinches when he hits an especially tender spot.
Itā€™s not much but itā€™s enough to wake Eddie Munson up with a jolt, and a random jumble of words that sounded something like, ā€œthe dice have spoken!ā€, but Steve canā€™t be sure. Not with the sharp ringing still going off inside his skull.
ā€œSteve? Steve! Oh thank fuck, Jesus H. Christ, you scared the ever loving shit out of me.ā€ Eddie stood and grabbed at one of Steveā€™s shoulders, shaking him enough to elicit another wince.
ā€œOh, damn, sorry. Iā€™m like a fucking bull in a china shop here, man. Thereā€™s way too much expensive, breakable shit here. Iā€™m not used to it. I accidentally ripped your IV out the other day... Fuck. The nurses hate my guts.ā€ Eddie chuckles, eyes wide and solely on Steve, talking like they were old friends or something.
But that canā€™t be right. Steve doesnā€™t remember saying more than two words to Eddie Munson during the entire time he knew he even existed, and even then it was just to discuss weed prices.
ā€œFor real though, talk to me Harrington, how you feelinā€™, hm? Loopy? Gonna yak again? Apparently they got you on the good stuff,ā€ Eddie flicks a liquid filled bag hanging above Steve and shakes his head, ā€œbut they keep cutting you back. Dicks.ā€
Steveā€™s eyes try and follow Eddieā€™s erratic movements but his eyes ache the more he moves them. He blinks against the harsh fluorescents and tries to open his mouth. And thank God, Eddie Munson seems to take this as a sign and shut up.
ā€œWhat happened?ā€ Steve finally croaks.
One of Eddieā€™s brows jumps. ā€œYou donā€™t remember?ā€
Steve gives his head a small shake. Did Eddie hit him with his car or something? Is that why heā€™s sleeping at his bedside and talking to him like theyā€™re buddies?
ā€œYou fell, Stevie.ā€ Eddie makes a whistling noise and mimicks something falling with his hands, then makes a crashing sound when his hand lands on Steveā€™s bandaged head. ā€œLike a coconut out of a tree. Landed right on that big olā€™ melon of yours. There was blood everywhere. It scared the shit out of me and the kids. Especially when you wouldnā€™t wake up.ā€
Steveā€™s throat feels like sandpaper, but he manages to swallow, his throat clicking as he did, and gets out, ā€œThe kids?ā€
Eddie seems to notice, even before Steve can ask, and reaches for a water bottle with a straw already in it, and half chewed. Eddieā€™s own, no doubt. Against his better judgment, Steve accepts it when Eddie offers it to him. He was just so goddamn thirsty.
ā€œDonā€™t worry, theyā€™re all fine. They were just shaken up. Iā€™ll radio the little gremlins and give ā€˜em the good news in a sec.ā€ Eddieā€™s smile falters a little, seeming lost for words. Like he wants to say something, but canā€™t quite get it out.
Steve finishes swallowing his few, meager gulps of water before he asks, ā€œWhat is it?ā€
ā€œDonā€™t freak outā€”ā€œ Eddie begins.
And, okay, thatā€™s exactly the thing you tell someone before they freak the fuck out. Steveā€™s stomach is subject to a growing, sluggish panic. ā€œWhat? Dude, tell meā€”ā€œ
ā€œItā€™s your hair.ā€ Eddie seems genuinely pained at having to deliver this crushing of a blow to Steve ā€˜The Hairā€™ Harrington.
Steve can hear the beeping from the monitors heā€™s hooked up to begin to pick up speed as his heart begins racing. ā€œMy hair?ā€
ā€œItā€™s okay! Itā€™s okay, itā€™ll grow back! They just had to take a little bit off where the stitches went, you can hardest notice itā€”well, thatā€™s a fucking lie, you could spot that landing strip from spaceā€”but I think if you part it to the other side it wonā€™t look soā€¦ yā€™know.ā€
ā€œNo, dude, I donā€™t know.ā€ Steve says, eyes wide, brows pinched.
ā€œLike a drunk toddler took a pair of rusty kitchen shears to your mop.ā€ Eddie says, huffing out a nervous sort of laugh.
Steve groans, half due to the bastardization thatā€™s happened to his favorite feature, and half due to the migraine thatā€™s looming on his horizon.
ā€œYouā€™re still pretty, Stevie, donā€™t worry.ā€ Eddie grins, eyebrows raised, like heā€™s trying to be cute or something.
That weirdest part is, itā€™s kind of working.
Steve must have hit his head really, really hard.
The doctors eventually come in and perform all sorts of tests, and he tries his best to comply with them and jump through whatever hoops they make him jump through. He just wants to get the hell out of this hospital bed.
Unfortunately for him, Steve hadnā€™t exactly aced any of the tests.
In fact, he had failed most of them pretty fucking dismally. He couldnā€™t remember the date, who the president was, where he lived, couldnā€™t say the alphabet backwardsā€¦ although, who the fuck can do that? He stands by that failing grade.
A couple of CAT scans later and itā€™s clear that Steveā€™s brain got smacked around a little more than they had originally thought.
Among a pile of other stuff, the thing that sticks out the most to Steve is his diagnosis of something called short term amnesia. They explain it like the past 2 to 3 years has just been wiped from his brain. The last clear thing he really remembers is getting the shit beat out of him by Billy, and then it all sort of gets jumbled. Fragmented. The doctors explain that this is pretty typical for head trauma patients.
Heā€™s a head trauma patient, now.
Itā€™s normal for memories of trauma to link, creating spiderwebs throughout your brain.
Which, thatā€™s great. So when he gets beat up again, thereā€™s always a chance his brain will try and erase his easy, happy years and revert back to a trauma default. Really helpful brain, thank you.
And the thing that sucks the most is that his years after the Billy beat down sound pretty great. Traumatizing, sure, but great. Once the Upside Down shit was locked up, with every scary nightmare fuel monster inside of it, life in Hawkins didnā€™t sound all that terrible.
He lived with Robin, whoā€™s his best friend, (his ā€˜platonic soulmateā€™ even, as she explains it), heā€™s working a retail job, (also with Robin), and coaches the high school basketball team during the evenings. Heā€™d even been talking with Hopper about joining the force.
Well, he was. Now heā€™s more or less useless, working full time at re-learning his life, along with a couple of fine motor skills that got glitchy after the fall.
And then thereā€™s Eddie.
Eddie, whoā€™s apparently also his best friend, only their soulmate link isnā€™t platonic at all.
The strange and weirdly exciting reality was that Steve Harrington had woken up from his 3-day medically induced coma with not only a full fledged relationship, but a boyfriend.
Itā€™s a lot to digest, and part of him still doesnā€™t even know how to process it, but hearing the stories being told around him, seeing how Eddie is practically living in his and Robinā€™s two-bedroom apartment, and justā€¦ the way Eddie looks at him?
Itā€™s with loveā€”Steve can see it. Feel it. Eddieā€™s practically vibrating with it.
Whatā€™s even crazier is that when Steve looks at Eddie, he feels the exact same way.
Itā€™s like looking at the stars. Steveā€™s heart skips a beat when those dark eyes of hit him, and Steve wants nothing more than to make Eddie smileā€”no, better than that, to make him laugh, just so he can watch Eddieā€™s adamā€™s apple bob up and down and hear that manic, unhinged cackle. Itā€™s downright delightful. Steve loves being in relationships like this, where itā€™s all consuming.
Steve may not have the memories of falling in love with Eddie, but he has all the feelings.
No one talks about it with Steve, of course. Maybe they think itā€™s going to be too heavy for him to process that heā€™s into dudes now, but Steve isnā€™t a big dumb baby. Sure, heā€™s got a pretty severe brain injury, and yeah, alright, it takes him a minute to remember peopleā€™s names sometimes, and he has a harder time controlling his emotions, but he isnā€™t a complete invalid. Only a little bit of one. Heā€™s working on it, dammit.
And Eddie is so painfully, frustratingly patient with him. He never pushes. Heā€™s clearly letting Steve retrieve his memories before he makes a move, because despite his whole outward appearance, Eddie Munson is a goddamn gentleman. He never so much as reaches for Steveā€™s hands, but Steve can tell by the way their pinkies graze when they watch movies late at night that he wants to.
Steve can tell by the way Eddie teases him, the way heā€™s there with him through his recovery, that he doesnā€™t ever make Steve feel stupid when he asks the same questions over and over again, when he cries at the drop of a hat or when he gets sort of confused about the lay out of his apartmentā€”he doesnā€™t care about that of that.
Because heā€™s in love with Steve. Itā€™s so painfully romantic, it brings a painful lump to Steveā€™s throat every time he thinks too much about it.
The two of them are driving to one of Steveā€™s therapy sessions, Eddie in the driver's seat, Steve in the passengers, listening to a low racket of some kind of heavy metal music. Eddie always keeps the volume low now, for Steve.
Heā€™s just been so intensely good about everything that Steve needs to try and do something good for Eddie in return. He needs Eddie to know that thereā€™s a light at the end of this tunnel that theyļæ½ļæ½re both currently lost in.
ā€œIā€™m sorry about this, yā€™know.ā€ Steve says when they finally pull up the building that has ā€˜Brain Injury Recover Centerā€™ written on the front. So all the boys and girls with scrambled eggs for brains know where to converge.
ā€œDonā€™t worry about it, man. I work the evening shifts, remember? My days are free.ā€ Eddie explains, and Steve wonders if heā€™s had to be told this bit of information a couple of times now. Sometimes it takes a few times before something sticks to his brain now. His short term memory is still majorly flighty. But no, Steve remembers that Eddie bartends at a local bowling alley most evenings. Heā€™s gone a few times. Not to bowl, of courseā€”too much hand eye coordination involvedā€”but just to hang out with Eddie. Heā€™s pretty decent at Ms. Pac-Man though.
Steve shakes his head. He knows his mind must have wandered because thereā€™s been a lull where no oneā€™s spoken. Eddie never seems to care about that though. ā€œI donā€™t mean about the drive. I was talking aboutā€¦ yā€™know.ā€
ā€œWhaā€™dyā€™mean?ā€ Eddie mumbles as he backs into his parking space, hand on the back of Steveā€™s headrest.
Steve sighs and decides to just come out and say it: ā€œI mean having your boyfriend forget everything about you and your relationship. I justā€¦ that must be really tough.ā€
Everything in Eddie Munson comes to a jarring halt, hand frozen over where heā€™s turned to ignition off.
Itā€™s sort of unnervingā€”Eddie is always moving, fidgeting. Damn near bouncing off the walls. But now itā€™s like someone hit the poor guy with a freeze ray gun.
Steve chuckles softly as he reaches out and touches Eddieā€™s arm, giving him a playful jostle, to loosen him up a little, ā€œitā€™s okay, Eddie. I know. You donā€™t have to keep going easy on me. Iā€™m gay! Or, bi-sexual. Whatever.ā€ Steve shrugs, ā€œsee? Not falling apart. I can handle being in love with another dude. You donā€™t need to keep babying me.ā€
The side of Eddieā€™s mouth twitches into a downturned smile that he seems to be trying to hide.
ā€œI know, I know. Not just any dude.ā€ Steve rolls his eyes, a smile still firmly on his face. He takes Eddieā€™s hand from the steering wheel, and Eddie seems to watch it go in a detached sort of awe. Steve wonders if Eddieā€™s proud of him for being so cool with it all. ā€œIn love with you.ā€
ā€œSteve, I donā€™t thinkā€”
ā€œWait, just let me finish.ā€ Steve asks, and Eddie blinks and works on closing his mouth. Knows itā€™s important to let Steve get his thoughts out quickly, lest they be lost to the giant black hole inside of his beat-up brain now. ā€œI know that I donā€™t remember any of the important stuff with us. Our first date, or our first kiss or, yā€™know, any of our other first firsts. So maybe it feels like youā€™re cheating on the old Steve with me? Butā€¦ Eddie, I know itā€™s crazy but even though my brain forgot all of the specifics; my heart didnā€™t. I look at you, and itā€™s all there. Iā€™m still so into you, dude. I can feel it, even though I donā€™t remember how I got here. Iā€™m in lā€”ā€œ
ā€œSteve! Stevestevesteve wait, holy shitā€”!ā€ Eddieā€™s eyes snap up from his intense stare at the place where their hands are linked. ā€œSteveā€”ā€
ā€œYeah?ā€ Steve prompts when Eddie doesnā€™t seem to be able to find the words. He runs his thumb gently over Eddieā€™s knuckles. It feels so nice to finally be able to hold his hand again. They fit together so well, and Steve wonders briefly if itā€™s some kind of muscle memory.
Eddie opens his mouth a few more times before he remembers how to make the words come out.
ā€œSteve. Buddy. Weā€™reā€¦ weā€™re not dating.ā€
Steveā€™s face falls, and he can feel a lump form in his throat, but he keeps a firm hold of Eddieā€™s warm hand in his own. ā€œYeah, I know, I know. We havenā€™t had any time to be a couple. And itā€™s probably been torture for you, man. Youā€™re so busy taking care of me and making sure I donā€™t freak out over everything that youā€™ve clearly been neglecting your own hierarchy of needs.ā€
Eddie raises a brow.
Steve chuckles, ā€œShut up. Itā€™s a therapy term.ā€
Eddie laughs in his throat. ā€œSteve, you gotta slow down and listen to me.ā€
He turns his shoulders so that heā€™s fully facing Steve while he reaches his free hand over and tugs at one of his earlobes. ā€œGot your hearing ears on?ā€
Steve rolls his eyes, but he nods just the same.
ā€œWeā€¦ we werenā€™t dating before your accident,ā€ Eddie speaks slowly, his voice warm, gentle. ā€œHell, I didnā€™t even know you were, yā€™know, into dudes like that. Much less me.ā€
Something throbs dully behind Steveā€™s eyes. Itā€™s the start of a migraineā€”the one that makes it hard to process much of anything. Steve squints, trying to make sense of what Eddieā€™s saying. ā€œā€¦youā€™re not my boyfriend?ā€
Eddie shakes his head very, very slowly. ā€œNo.ā€
Steve snatches his hand back like heā€™s only just now noticed how burning hot Eddieā€™s hand is.
He settles back in his seat, staring out the front window. The sounds from the outside world are muffled, and everything feels far away and sort ofā€¦ Made up. Just like everything heā€™d imagined was going on between him and Eddie. Not real.
He feels painfully detached from reality. Unmoored. Maybe this was the disassociation thing the doctor mentioned might happenā€¦
ā€œAre you sure?ā€ Steve asks, risking another glance over to Eddie, who hasnā€™t taken his eyes off him for a second.
ā€œPretty fuckinā€™ sure.ā€ Eddie snorts.
ā€œOh, God. This isā€¦ Iā€™mā€”sorry. Iā€™m so stupid. Fuck, I gottaā€”ā€œ Steve suddenly attacks the door handle with a clumsy fury that has his hand fumbling with the handle for way too long. Fucking busted up, bruised as fuck fucking brain-!
ā€œSteve, itā€™s okay, dude,ā€ Eddie says from behind Steve, but thatā€™s easy for him to say; he didnā€™t just humiliate himself in front of his not-boyfriend, definitely-crush, possibly ex-friendā€”ā€œSteve, wait!ā€
Steve flees the van on unsteady feet, not daring to look back.
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shotmrmiller Ā· 1 year ago
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I'm your only situationship.
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A/N : yall i stayed up til 324 am writing this. I felt like if i went to bed still only having it as a thought and not on 'paper' thats unacceptable. If i gotta think about this then so do yall! it was also supposed to be a small one shot but it got wildly out of hand im not sorry.
18+ MDNI
TW: typical smut, EXPLICIT mmkay im talkin clutch ur pearls explicit.
Ė—ĖĖ‹ ā˜… ĖŽĖŠĖ—
Simon had finally come home from a grueling 6-month mission. All he wanted was some Kentucky bourbon with you at your favorite seedy bar.Ā 
Once he was home, Simon cleaned up, put on a black clinical mask, and sent a text to you to meet him there. As he finished his first glass of the night, a rather attractive young woman approached him, asking if she could buy him a drink.Ā 
ā€œIsnā€™t it supposed to be the other way around, lovie?ā€
ā€œNot at all. This is after all the 21st century. Iā€™m simply askingā€” wouldnā€™t want any missus at home getting upset.ā€
ā€œThereā€™s no one at home for me, lass.ā€
ā€œWell then, how about you get yourself another glass, my treat, and weā€™ll see where this night takes us?ā€Ā 
He slightly nodded ā€”heā€™d never say no to a free drinkā€” and as she left to order a drink, he took his phone out to text you again.
ā€œCā€™mon, pet. Iā€™ll cover the tab. Too good fā€™me, now?ā€
His phone vibrated a minute later.
ā€œI canā€™t today, Si.ā€
ā€œWhy not? I know you donā€™t go out on Sundays.ā€
As the young woman came back, drinks in hand, he lifted the screen to read your response.
ā€œIā€™ve got a dick appointment~ Itā€™s been a year and then some and Iā€™m gonna claw at my walls if I donā€™t get a fix ASAP.ā€
Simon goes tenseā€” soft blues hardening to a silver and heā€™s gripping his phone so hard it might crack. He pulls up your contact and calls you within seconds.
ā€œHiya, Si!ā€Ā 
ā€œWhat the fuck is a dick appointment?ā€
ā€œOh,ā€ you giggle. ā€œI forget you older folk donā€™t know ā€˜bout that. Itā€™s just a one-night fling. No commitments or nothin'.ā€™ Exactly what I need right now.ā€ You donā€™t tell him that the reason youā€™ve practically regrown your hymen is that when youā€™re best friends with Simon, every other male in existence pales in comparison.Ā 
ā€œAnyway Si-, heā€™s getting here in like an hour-ā€
ā€œNo.ā€ And hangs up.Ā 
The young woman whoā€™s casually rubbing his bicep and shoulder gets practically flung off of him, as he gets up off the bar stool so fast itā€™s falling back with a loud clang, and heā€™s yanking his leather jacket on and pulling on his leather gloves so hard theyā€™re about to become fingerlessā€”
ā€œHey! I thought you didnā€™t have a girlfriend?!ā€
One gloved hand gripping the front door, he turns his head slightly to her and says, ā€œPet, with how good Iā€™m gonna fuck her, she wonā€™t even have to ask to know sheā€™s mine.ā€
Ė—ĖĖ‹ ā˜… ĖŽĖŠĖ—
Youā€™re standing in the bathroom with your liquid eyeliner in one hand and phone in the other, staring at the ended call screen. ā€˜Weird,ā€™ you think, then shrug and put the phone down. ā€˜Maybe the call got dropped.ā€™
You finally complete the look with your false lashes when thereā€™s a very hard knock on your door. You frown as you look at your phone screen. ā€˜7:14 pmā€™. You know the guy said at 8 and youā€™re in one of Simonā€™s big shirts he always forgets and your hair is still tied up in an oversized pink and white polka dot scrunchieā€” The pink leopard print booty shorts youā€™ve got on will suffice.Ā 
The second time thereā€™s a knock itā€™s even louder.Ā 
ā€œJesus Christ, Iā€™m coming!ā€Ā 
You open the door and say, ā€œIā€™m sorry I took so long, Iā€”ā€
Simon flies past you, with a rough shoulder bump and you turn to look at him and heā€™s almost sprinting to the bedroom, slamming the door openā€”
ā€œSimon, what the fuck? Whatā€™re you doinā€”ā€
ā€œWhere is he?ā€, he snarls.
ā€œWho?! Are you talking about my date? Heā€™s not getting here til 8! And whyā€™re you slamming doors in my apartment like you pay my rent?!ā€
You see Simon deflate immediately at the important part of your answer and chooses to ignore the rest as he takes off his jacket and walks to your hall closet to hang it. Closing your door and locking it, you growl out,
ā€œYou need to leave. I havenā€™t even finished getting ready. I promise Iā€™llā€”ā€
ā€œNo, pet.ā€
ā€œWill you quit interrupting me! Simon, I swearā€”ā€
ā€œPet.ā€Ā 
Youā€™re holding a scream behind your teeth, about to rip the hair out of your scalp when you see Simon take one loop of his mask off from around his ear and then the other. You gape. Youā€™ve seen Simon without his maskā€” that isnā€™t the reason you can no longer find your voice. Itā€™s the way he put his gloved middle finger in between his teeth and pulled it off so sensually. You can feel your cheeks and ears radiate heat from just seeing the tip of his pink tongue. Christ, youā€™re down horrendously.
You open your mouth to say something, anything, to distract yourself from the fact that youā€™re getting wet over an interaction so chaste when Simon is touching your ass, giving it a hard squeeze, before moving down to the back of your thighs and lifting you up. You startle at the movement and throw your arms around his neck out of habit, hoping he wonā€™t drop you in the move to your bedroom.
He presses you against the wall with his hips, then grabs both of your ankles from behind his lower back and hooks the back of your knees over his forearms. Simon noses your jaw and starts grinding his clothed erection deliciously hard over the definitely wet spot on your shorts and growls out,Ā 
ā€œIf you think,ā€ grind ā€œthat Iā€™m gonna allow My,ā€ grind ā€œGirl,ā€Ā  grindā€”and you whimper in his ear,Ā  ā€œget fucked by some little cock two pump chump,ā€ he gives a forced chuckle, ā€œyou must be daft, pet. Or maybe youā€™re doing it on purpose, eh? Trying to get my attention? Well, youā€™ve got it now. ā€œĀ 
He moves his face to hover his lips over yoursā€” you can lightly smell the bourbon he drank earlierā€” and he whispers, ā€œYou ever like this and Iā€™m around, you come to me. And if Iā€™m away, you wait for me like a good girl and when I come back Iā€™ll give this,ā€ he taps your pussy over your shorts, ā€œgreedy little cunt all the cock it can take.ā€
With a shaky breath, you nod before he kisses you, his bourbon-flavored tongue curling against yours, and youā€™re moaning into it because youā€™ve wanted this for too long and heā€™s finally touching you. Curling your fingers into his ash-brown hair, you move your mouth to his neck, to the right of his adamā€™s apple, took a bit of skin between your teeth and sucked.Ā 
Simon hisses, dips his fingertips into your flesh hard enough to bruise, and all but yanks you off the wall to toss you onto your bed.Ā 
You yelp as you bounce from the force of his throwā€” youā€™re still bouncing on the bed when Simon grabs the waistband of your shorts and knickers to pull right off, which youā€™re grateful for because the grey knickers you got on arenā€™t what anyone would wear for a first, second nor third impression.
Simon grabs both of the back of your knees with one hand,Ā  goddamn bear paws, you think, before you feel his tongue in between your lipsā€” so warm and wet and fuck, you needed this, needed himā€” and he flicks his tongue up and down on your clit. He sticks his long middle finger into you and it goes in without resistance, youā€™re slippery, drooling over his wrist and finger thatā€™s curled up into the rough patch of nerves against your gummy walls, that heā€™s pressing into, over and over. God youā€™re about to come, your legs shake in his one-handed hold and youā€™ve got a white knuckle grip on the forearm youā€™re sinking your nails intoā€”
Simon pulls away. You were so close, your eyes start watering because he canā€™t possibly be this mean to you but then you see him shove his tongue in between his middle and ring finger, eating up your nectar when he says, ā€œThe first time Iā€™m gonna make you come, itā€™ll be on my cock. I want to see the frothy white cream you're gonna leave at the base.ā€Ā 
Youā€™re nodding hysterically at this point, anything for him to make you come, anything for him.Ā  With a twirl of his index, heā€™s telling you to get on all fours. Scrambling, you turn over and arch your backā€” resting your head on your forearmsā€” and you feel his calloused palms run down from your spine to your ass cheeks before he gives it a spank.Ā 
ā€œYou have a condom?ā€Ā 
You shake your head and you mewl out, ā€œNo, but Iā€™m clean.ā€
ā€œGood. I donā€™t want anything between us.ā€
You arch your back further, pressing your ass further into his hips when you hear his belt buckle clank and zipper open. Simon brings his palm to your other cheek, reddening it.Ā 
ā€œFuckinā€™ hell, pet. Look at you spread out for me.ā€Ā 
You feel warm velvet over steel over your slit before he slowly pushes inside, not all the way but about a little over half of his length, remembering that your g-spot is a little closer to the front. Fast, relatively shallow thrusts hitting your spot with almost clinical precision have you reeling, your orgasm about to break you, mind and body. Hands tightening painfully, you shatterā€” loud, high-pitched whines, ringing in your ears and pussy pulsing around Simonā€™s thick girthā€” and god, Simon doesnā€™t stop thrusting. He keeps the same smooth rhythm and youā€™d think heā€™s unaffected by the tight vice your pussy has him inā€” but you hear him, low, deep groans and a tighter grip on your hips telling you otherwise.Ā 
He pulls out to bend over your back, completely covering it, and he murmurs in your ear, ā€œI hope you didnā€™t think we were done. My girl wanted a fuckinā€™, now sheā€™s gonna get it.ā€Ā 
He takes off your pink, silly scrunchy and you see it around his tattooed wrist before he grabs your hair into a makeshift ponytail and is leaning back up and forcing your back to arch under his pull. You feel his leg at the height of your hipsā€” propped up, foot flat on the bed and knee bent and the other straight on the floor and all you can think of is how this man is gonna kill you with his cock.Ā 
Simon snaps his hips forward, fist full of hair pulling back,Ā  stretching and filling in one strong thrust, bottoming out. He gives you no reprieve, no time to get used to how fucking deep he is, and sets an intense, firm pace that has you feeling a pinch below the navel every time his hip bones slap against your ass, balls to the clit and you love it. Every pinch in your lower belly has your pussy making a squelching sound and you canā€™t help yourselfā€” you reach underneath your body to feel how split open you are with two fingers, encasing his cock and feeling the skin drag with them as he pulls out.
That has him hissing air between his teeth, heā€™s about to come but doesn't want it to be over so he pulls out, and opens your cheeks to spit in your furled hole, before pressing in with the pad of his thumb, and youā€™re almost screaming. He moves back a bit further to spit in your pussy, not that you need itā€” youā€™re drenching the sheets underneath youā€” and now heā€™s spearing you with his tongue before curling it, getting your juices pooled on it before coming back up, lips smacking, and he grabs your hair in his ponytail and now he uses his other hand to curls his fingers and palm over the front of your throat and that's all it takes for your vision to darken and arms go limp but heā€™s again, fucking you through your orgasm and this time you leave a creamy white ring at the base of his length.Ā 
ā€œOh, fuckin hell.ā€ He groans out and it sounds desperate and you know heā€™s close.
ā€œCome in me, Simon. Please fill me up, I promise Iā€™ll keep it all in.ā€
He gives a strained chuckle and says, ā€œPet, I can barely pull out of a driveway much less this tight little cunt.ā€ He squeezes your throat hard, strands of hair popping out of your scalp and his cock feels massive, the pinch in your stomach feels like a cramp from how deep he is and he lets out a low drawn out moan that lasts 3 thrustsā€” and then thereā€™s warmth filling you up, so much so it leaks from the sides of where you two are connected. Simon lets go of your hair and you fall face-first onto the bed, exhausted. Defeated. Back properly broken. You officially know what itā€™s like to get fucked within an inch of your life and you love it.Ā 
He pulls out slowly, with a hiss from both of you and with one hand on your left cheek, he spreads you to look at your stuffed hole.
ā€œFuck. I love seeing me drip out of you.ā€Ā 
Youā€™re about to tell him to sod off when the doorbell rings and the both of you stiffen and lock eyes. With a mean snarl, Simon grabs a towel from your bathroom and his mask before stomping his way to answer the door, pink obnoxious scrunchy still on his wrist.
Ė—ĖĖ‹ ā˜… ĖŽĖŠĖ—
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