#i feel too far to go home
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homesickness is annoying
#vincent’s lab#i feel too far to go home#like not physically#but mentally#im gonna call my mom later
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Firefox-official vs electronicmail
Hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby
okay come up with a better idea then. firefox-official is gone asshole it’s electronicmail or nothing
#this one was hard to respond to because it elicited the usual anon rage in me#but i had to think about it anyway.#this blog has been around for less than a month and it is driving me fucking crazy#don’t you think i know?#dont you think it hurts enough already#i dont want this blog either i want my old blog back with all my stuff on it#i would like to stick around#because i loved posting#and i get that you’re just having fun#but i’m making an example of you#less than a month vs five years#‘household name’ firefox official#spent five years building that thing#and now it’s just this.#i keep forgetting#and then i’m here again#not home#i know you all feel bad enough for me already#but it’s so hard to be myself because the environment on here is SO different#we were HAPPY#WE WERE SO HAPPY#Umm… Or whatever.#guess i could go back to firefox unofficial#but that feels far too close to the sun. and i’m done with the wings i think.#i dont mean to be so serious#a total mood killer i know#i just dont know how to proceed exactly#because when i post like normal i cant help but feel sad#and when i post about being sad its just sort of obnoxious#i’m not really asking for pity i just want to explain where i am at
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charles rowland is the type of person to end his marriage vows with "and you're my best mate" then think nothing of it
#dead boy detectives#charles rowland#edwin payne#payneland#edwin x charles#this development is far worse than any heartbreak i could ever endure#or maybe i just got hit too close to home as a gay person who has had feelings for their best friend once#probably both! who knows!!#im also madly in love w charles rowland so i dont blame edwin at all#i too would confess to my best friend of 30 years after hearing them say there was no version where they didnt go to hell for me.#im so sad i am so incredibly sad#edwin is a far stronger person than i am bc. im literally crying rn.#famous posts
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irrational anxiety and the need for repetition
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#hod#hod lobcorp#you know that feeling when a friend leaves your place and you forget to say stay safe and then you feel like theyre going to die bc#you didnt. and you feel like the worst persok in the world and filled with anxiety for their safety while they themself transport home. yea#i put far too much time in this. i didnt need to worry abt the wrinkles. i dont even know if this will display fine. ehhh....#as typical the quality goes down as the will to live leaves my body as time goes on working on this thing. comically long hod#the layout and pacing is weird. twas supposed to be a simple doodle. ended up as something else. its fine.. its fine... (coping)
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it’s definitely not the right time to do this but it’s bugging me so much i need to ask
would anyone still be interested in reading more analyses/interpretations about Damon’s photoshoots with Nace/Jan and Jure after many days or maybe i shouldn’t even bother to write them?
#if this post comes off as me searching for validation then for better or worse yes. yes i do#i still feel insecure af about whatever i wrote about Kris’ and Bojan’s photos and what i have in the drafts for Nace so far#i see everyone writing and i wanna write too because i’m ✨thinking✨ but then i’m like#��who cares you’re late and you write shit. not interesting. move on”#but yet i won’t be home until Monday#and i don’t have time to write right now so this is getting pushed back more and more#and if i do end up writing stuff i don’t want it to end up hitting a wall and just. go unnoticed#and i’m so sorry for bringing this in the band tag but as i said it’s bugging me so much……#this is emma speaking#joker out
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rememberwhen he. remember. when. when.when. he
#i did mean it when i said hollands actually not even my favorite character within this universe which is honetsly#concerning the more unwell i act about him. but like he's probably in the top 5 if not top 3#he is the main main character after all i feel like it'd be weird if i didnt like him a lot lmao#i cant help that hes a pirate with loose moral but a compassionate sappy little heart :/ i cant help that he cares deeply for hte people ar#und him and will die and kill for them :/#when he leaves his home country to become a pirate and hes kept track of pirate politics and hes like#i know how to make people like me i will ally myself with the big pirates to climb my way to the top#but he forgot he's a very driven person who'll go very far to reach his goals so like he does meet and create relationships with these peop#e but um. not good ones usually lmao but like that in and of itself inadvertently launches him into pirate fame#honestly hollands plans rarely go the way he wants them to but like he still kind of knows what he's doing#that time he tries to assassinate the crown prince but ends up falling in love instead :/ whoops#chugging an energy drink so i can make more pirate renders<3 less holland renders i need my other characters to get some renders too
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The Accident - Part VI
Atsumu x fem Reader
Warnings: None
Words: ~ 1,1 k
About: The flashback ends- but what will you do next?
Part I II -> Next Part
"You're not getting married."
Osamu's sharp remark did not have the intended effect. Both of you were still clinging to each other, acting all lovey-dovey.
"Samuu, you don't understand. She's my soulmate. I love her." Osamu's eyes almost popped out of their sockets while he kept watching how you two clung to each other and smiled like idiots, your hand on his cheek after he had said these words.
"You don't even know her. And stop touching her like that in public."
Atsumu's hands started wandering on your back, his fingertips teasing the bare skin on your back much to your delight - but to Osamu's horror.
"I don't mind - but who are you?" You turned towards him, and he paused for a second. You were beautiful, that much was certain. Shiny eyes, glossy lips, and a dress that looked like it had been made for you - but he quickly discarded every thought about your looks when he knew that he needed to stop this nonsense.
"I'm Osamu Miya. His brother."
"Oh." Your eyes widened as you took in his appearance, probably only then realizing how similar he looked to the man whose lap you were currently sitting on.
"Samu, we gotta go. The barkeeper told us that there's a priest next to this club."
"You're not getting married."
No matter how many times he repeated the sentence, it seemed like Atsumu was unable to understand.
xxxxxx
"And then you convinced me to get your car to drive us home. Wouldn't stop bickerin' about how it's expensive and designer and about how it costs more than Onigiri Miya will ever make. I'll definitely kick your ass for that."
A muscle under Osamu's eye twitches when he mentions the comment, and you have to hold back a snort at this. He's kind of cute when he's angry.
"And then?"
"You were gone. Found ya at the church, but it was too late. You idiots already signed the contract."
You slowly step back until your knees reach the bed, and you heavily sink down on it. It feels like he's telling you a story right out of a movie, not something that has happened just a few hours ago, the whole thing still too absurd and unreal.
"Can we redeem it?" You look at Osamu, like he's the only one that can save you now, and he somehow actually is. You still have hope that you can get out of this without negatively impacting the rest of your life.
"I've talked to our lawyer. It's a waterproof contract. Very surprising because the church was more than just a bit shady. You're both bound for a year until ya can file for divorce." His words feel like a death sentence, and you find yourself at a loss for words. You gulp at his words, blinking a few times to suppress your tears. You're an idiot—an idiot for getting in a situation like this.
It's silent.
You don't dare to look at either of them, your gaze only focused on the phone in your hands, and every passing second makes you feel even more uncomfortable, until you can't stand the silence anymore.
"I'll get going."
You stiffly get on your feet, your movements robotic and lifeless while you make an attempt to leave, but you're quick to get stopped by Atsumu before you can even make more than getting up. "Wait- I- I don't even have yer number!"
"Oh." You pause, standing there for a few moments while you watch Atsumu getting closer to you, until there is not much space left between the two of you when he stands right in front of you. "Hey- are you okay?" Concern laces his voice while he looks down at you, and you manage to nod with a forced smile. "Peachy."
Osamu snorts at your comment and shakes his head, a movement that you barely see in the corner of your eyes. He probably feels guilty for the whole situation too, the dark cicles under his eyes similar to Atsumu's, certainly because he tried to find a solution for this and did not sleep at all during the night. "People who say 'peachy' are anything but fine."
"Hey, look at me." Atsumu ignores his brother's comment and brings his hand to your cheek. You're startled but allow him to turn your face upwards until your eyes lock. "I'm not letting ya go when ya can't even walk properly. You'll eat something, then you'll take a nice hot shower and get in some clean clothes and then I'll bring ya home. That alright with you?" There is something about the way he softly states the words that sends a comforting wave of warmth through your body, and you find yourself nodding and trusting him.
"Hmm. Good girl. Now just eat the rest of the fries while Samu gets ya some clothes. Right, Samu?" Atsumu breaks the eye contact with you to look sharply at Osamu, who only sighs and nods. "I saw a souvenir shop at the lobby. Better than nothin'." You now look at Atsumu's side-profile, admiring his sharp jaw line, unable to do something else but wondering if there is even one bad angle on this perfect man, while Osamu leaves the room with another deep sigh.
"Shouldn't I have given him some money?" You take a deep breath and wipe your hands on your dress, noticing how clammy they got. Probably a side-effect of the nervousness.
Atsumu snorts and returns his gaze to you, an amused smile on his lips. "That serves him right. He always brags about how much he makes with his stupid restaurant." Atsumu looks so similar to Osamu when he rolls his eyes; it's almost comical. "Don't tell him I said that, but he really makes the best food ever. I'll take ya there and show you."
You hum approvingly, feeling somewhat a tingle run down your spine at the prospect of him taking you out for dinner but try to ignore it. "C'mon. Eat the rest of the fries. I saw how ya inhaled them. You can have mine too." He grins, something that makes him seem absolutely adorable, and you find yourself smiling back at him, a warm feeling running through your body.
"I'm not hungry anymore. I'll take a shower then?" You questioningly raise your brows, and he nods. "Yeah, of course. When Samu comes back, I'll put the clothes in front of the bathroom."
Thank you," you raise your hand as if to pat his shoulder, but you halt the movement just before reaching him. You shouldn't touch him. Technically, you don't even know him. His gaze flickers to your hand, and he appears to consider taking it. However, he quickly steps to the side, giving you some space to move to the bathroom.
Without looking back at him, you close the bathroom door, take a deep breath, and glance at the phone in your hand. You scroll until you find the picture of a bright-haired person—
and decide to finally make a call.
#haikyuu fanfiction#haikyuu x reader#atsumu#atsumu x reader#atsumu fluff#Well!#I already had the draft like three years ago#and I changed a few things#but I feel like this is going smoothly so far#I'll not set up a schedule for this because Uni sometimes keeps getting in the way#but I'll do my best to post as fast as I can rest assured#I'm very invested rn tbh xD#but I caught a cold#I'll probably stay home for the next few days T.T#STAY SAFE EVERYONE! and healthy and hydrated <3#Love ya! <3#btw#I created a new header#I really like it somehow#I hope you like it too!#I'll keep this one for the rest of the series <3
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what's stressing you if you don't mind sharing? :/
it's the end of semester so uni is terrible, but the main thing is my housemate. she's really controlling and finds flaws in everything i do (i lived with multiple people before her and it has always been fine), so it's really stressing me out because every damn week she has something to say.
#she's the type of person that wants everything her way#i thought she's like that because i live with her#but apparently she's just terrible to deal with lmao#a friend of mine does an internship at a clinic#and there's two girls that are in the same uni as my housemate#and they told him she's insane. not a single soul wants to any group work with her#she simply doesn't know how to deal with people#i'm somehow a bit more relieved knowing this#but it's draining. i don't feel at home at all#and i literally just go there to sleep because i'm out working and at uni the entire day#i was living with my friends before and it was amazing! but it was too far away from my work and uni#i moved only to get more sleep and peace#and now i can sleep but i barely have peace and i'm dealing with a stress i never had :(#replies
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got sad playing isat and had to put it down for a second this truly is a game of all time huh
#when siffrin sat there and realized he wouldnt have gotten this far without the looping and started feeling like maybe they werent too good#at their job. and then immediately panicked bc they were making it awkward by being quiet. i Felt That#“i don't know why i even worry about you sometimes” “what?”#IN MY OWN HOME?????#every time siffrin has a Time it's something i feel in my soul#isat's going well. by the way#vee plays isat#isat spoilers#< i guess?
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Where’s that tumblr post that’s like “there’s a generation gap between me and people my age”?
#getting my associate’s late means that everyone else I’m around is right out of high school#at least in my art class#and they’re all talking about their Halloween plans (going to state schools for parties)#and my plans are ‘go home after class and hand out candy and watch Halloween episodes of sitcoms’.#like. are y’all not tired???? it’s on a Thursday 😭#I’ve aged twenty years in the 5/6 years since I was their age apparently#I’m too young to feel this old 😔#like we’re not that far apart in age but we’re far enough apart that I cannot relate to a single thing they’re on about and it’s rough lmao
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tag vent
#i have to move back to my hometown due to a mistake. a misunderstanding. and being too trusting in others ideas#and my boyfriend is moving an hour away as well. neither of us have been able to get a car or license yet due to money and i dont know when#we can see eachother again after we both move. since we started dating weve been sleeping in the same bed because we were/are roommates#just being gone for the weekend in my hometown is hard because i cant stand to be here but its worse because hes not in my bed every night#ive grown so used to falling alseep in his arms that i dont know what to do at night. i dont feel safe without his arms holding me#ive never felt safe where ive lived before. ive never felt safe in a relationship. ive never felt loved for who i am. that was until him.#now i feel safe in our home. i feel safe in our relationship. i feel loved for who i am. and now we have to be so far apart.#ive done long distance before but this is going to hurt so much my cat loves him she is super cautious and scared around new people but#she loved him since the start. not to mention shes my esa so that really mattered to me. he wants to move with me but it isnt happening#he got definite housing an hour away for super cheap in a town where he knows everyone and i have possible in a town where im surrounded by#people i know but am terrified of. im scared to move back here but have no choice. unless i make that terrifying choice of going with him.#the apartment he is getting is a two bedroom. id only have a studio. hes offered for me to come but im scared to move that far away again#i want to be with him but im scared to move to a whole new town with him. i know hes an amazing guy but we'd be moving away from my friends#and family. i already have to move away from all my friends if i go back to my hometown but this would be a different story.#moving to a whole new town with a guy that i only started dating 2 months ago? like yes. i lived with him previously and knew him for longer#than we dated but im still scared. i think rightfully so. but still.#but there are some pros to moving with him. hometown has no music scene and his town does and thats really important to me.#we'd also be close to his family. but farther from mine. hed be around friends and id have none no matter where i go.#idk im just rambling but i really needed to vent. i lost my best friend recently to the point of them siding with strangers almost and they#helped them break and enter into the house to intimidate me and bf and then a few days later came with cops after saying repeatedly that#they were an anarchist and acab but only when they dont use them apparently. because i guess morals/values only matter when its convenient#im so tired though but i cant sleep so i might write some cringe poetry and try to chill out before going on a late night/early morning walk#tag vent#vent in tags
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so
#last night was really so so so fun and it was super hard to get myself to go out? like#in the sense of I really wanted to because I knew it would be fun but I also knew my anxiety was eating me alive#and it would be an obstacle getting through that without alcohol and I need to be … careful#but I got fun drunk and didn’t have too bad of a hangover and didn’t feel super anxious once we got out :#and a different friend wants to make plans for tonight but I am really bad at making plans in advance because sometimes I physically can’t#do things after work bc tired bc neuro disorder and it’s frustrating to my friend with severe control issues#bc she needs to make specific plans like a week out and I’m like erm babe I can’t like#do that? and then if I don’t feel well day of and need to be home she gets (rightfully) frustrated because I’m bailing but it’s#challenging. and you don’t understand unless you live with it.#and it’s frustrating for us both. I don’t want her to think I don’t value her because I do and I force myself out often enough bc I#genuinely feel bad. but it’s so fucking hard sometimes . she also lives sort of far so going from work and having#to drive an hour to her place to then go somewhere and be out like#I’m spent before I even get there#friend I saw last night and I don’t talk consistently but when we do it’s always the same vibe and so fun and we just catch up about life#I feel like when I see my other friends they have things to always talk about because they’re in a discord call almost every night#I don’t have the energy!!!!!!!!!! like I’m so sorry that’s so much for me#idk she isn’t answering me now but if she wants to do something I need to know in the next hr bc if not I’m literally going to bed#I love her but there’s a disconnect between us rn and I don’t know how to mend that gap#but I do love her friendship so I’m just like. sigh#idk it would be different if she was closer and I know that#I hope getting back on medication helps get me being more social again. I’m just so tired this week that speaking is hard lol
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potentially batshit headcanon, but i think it'd be funny if these two were related somehow.
#i'm inclined to say they're cousins but it'd also be interesting if they were siblings ngl#gustafa hasn't really brought up his own upbringing so far in my playthrough so i'm running hogwild w/ his backstory#i hc that gustafa's parents were classical musicians and pretty strict (very much the types to force what they think is best on their kids)#he felt like the environment was too stifling not only for his music but also his spirit so he left home as soon as he could#he's still proud about his family's history as musicians but definitely doesn't want to raise his kids like his parents raised him#so that's why he's pretty laid back when it comes to raising bea and encourages whatever she loves doing no matter what#wait now that i think about it carter organizes the music festival in mineral town doesn't he?#shit i'm connecting the dots#carter would probably be older than gustafa so i guess he left home as soon as possible too#he just went the route of joining the clergy to get out of town rather than becoming a hippie like gus#imagine going to the next town over to check out their music festival only to be reunited w/ your estranged older bro >>>#you haven't spoken to in like 10+ years#i feel like they'd be okay terms tho they'd definitely bond over how shitty their parents were#okay i'm having fun w/ this headcanon i'm gonna keep it i think#story of seasons#bokujou monogatari#a wonderful life#friends of mineral town#sos awl#sos fomt#sos gustafa#gustafa (awl)#sos carter#carter (fomt)#hc : (sos) awl / fomt#mj.txt
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I started The Summer Hikaru Died and I think it's going to break me. It's not helping that I've been listening to the Silent Hill ost while reading
#ITS SO GOOD...... ITS SO GOOD AND IT HURTS AND IT GIVE ME THE CREEPS AND MAKES ME HAPPY AND SAD AND OUHHGGH.....#the art has fucking incredible detail and paceing as well one cannot overstate how Good it is#im only 11 chapters in so far but oh my goshhh. my gosh. its going to break me i can feel it#also im reading it in a weird point in my life rn where its hitting home way too hard. Im gonna end up on the news dude#the summer hikaru died#rambles
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feeling v proud of myself for eyeing something and thinking “that seems like it's 70 inches” then it was 😌
#ms ma'am needs to return some curtains she got for her room oops 🙈#looked at it when i got home like ah yes. i should have measured that but alas. the lack of brain cells 2day#im still catching up energy wise 😮💨 feels nice 2 slowly get settled though!!#now that ik i can hire movers to help i wanna furnish my place more. kind of. i also don't plan on living at this particular apartment for#more than a year‚ but it ain't too bad 😌 more importantly I'm Here!!! finally out of the city™#everyone I've talked to so far has been rly chill.#Seattle im not going to miss you..#only Someone.. but we will visit each other ♡ he's coming over to see me on my vacation and im taking it late next month ^.^#not going anywhere just like.. god I've been so strong and brave about everything for the past year n a half/2yrs#but i NEED to rest!! idk how much time i have but i know i have over a week maybe 2#2 sounds right.. been a while since i checked 😳 i want to roam and explore...#omg and i think i know my First Place i want to go check out (。ノω\。) theres a fish hatchery im rly curious abt. I've never been! 😯#╰( ̄ω ̄o) they got some other fun places too. aquarium + a(t Least one) zoo
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sobbing rn thinking of the friends ive made through mcyts.....i love you all whether we're talking right now or havent talked in years.....you all have a special place in my heart......we may have met through liking cubitos but we grew well beyond that....sorry im having thoughts
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#confessions#wholesome#literally this!!! youre so correct nonnie!!!!#i love my mcyt friends too#i love the people in that three year old gc that gets spammed mostly with anime these days#i love the various people ive friended on discord that i never talk to anymore but still look through our dms sometimes#i love the people that i still talk to even if they have other interests noe#i love the people thst i still talk to even if they dont have other interests now#i love the people in thwt new gc less than two weeks old#i love my tumblr mutuals tht i dont talk to but see on my dash and go ᗡ: knowing that i followed them for mcyt even if theyre notinto it no#i love the people in the discord server that kinda imploded on itself but made such a big impact on my life#(<- half of these tags refer to people i met through said server)#i love my qpp who still listens to me rant at it abt mcyt#i love the new people i meet i love the old people i dont talk to#i love the people that i start out talking to about mcyt but conversations grow far beyond that#i love the person that i meow back and forth in dms with instead of really talking#i love the people that did so so so much for me when i joined the fandom at 11 and werent creepy towards me (thank fuck)#i love the people that encouraged me to write that encouraged me to draw to look at these cubitos and be creative about it#i love the fanfiction authors that i know that rant about their fics to me in dms#i love the fanartists that send me their wips of block people and i will cheer them on#i love absolutely everyone who made this fandom a home for me for what feels like my entire life#i love you. thank you.#mcyt fandom has done so much for me#90% of the people i know today; i know through mcyt fandom#i would not be who i am today without yall#i love you everyone who was a friend to me through mcyt fandom#Ɛ>
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