#i was living with my friends before and it was amazing! but it was too far away from my work and uni

[rafesweetie]

. ۫ ꣑ৎ . drew starkey and the sweetie who interviewed him

you’re nothing — that’s what you always tell yourself, anyway. you’re a journalist at a small magazine company, all potential and questions wasted because you’re relatively shy and big names like vogue tend to hire the louder workers.

it was a shock to you when your editor landed you an interview spot at TIFF. she believed in you, wanted to give you an opportunity to chat with some big names.

walking into the room where the stars would be interviewed by all the big names, you’re accompanied by one photographer who brought his camera to film the interviews. your pink heels click on the ground as you walk, and you feel severly underdressed in a black mini slip dress, with your hair down.

you’re handed the less popular movie stars to interview, but you’re nervous nonetheless. face going red when you stumble during a long question (even if they’re extremely intellectual), and fiddling with your nails while you listen.

you’re assuming everyone you interview is lesser known, based on the pattern occuring, until a very familiar figure walks over. right, you almost forgot you had to interview him.

now, it’s not like you knew him personally. you were both from north carolina and you have a two mutuals on instagram, but you and him weren’t friends. the only reason you know him is because you’d be living under a rock if you didn’t — drew starkey.

you can’t help the way you’re shaking a bit, flustered, nervous, and excited all at once.

“hi, y/n l/n,” you greet, then tell him what magazine you’re from. you shake his hand.

“drew starkey,” his voice is deep and makes you shiver. you’d heard from almost everyone how captivating he is, and now you believe it.

“it’s nice to meet you,” you say gently. his baby blues haven’t left yours yet. “i just watched ‘queer’ last night, drew, it was amazing,” you tell him, easing your way into the interview. “what was it like filming around the world? have you ever done that before?”

“uh, yeah, i have,” he nods. “i went to vancouver to film ‘the other zoey’, i think, and i went to serbia for ‘hellraiser.’ but i mean, i feel like for ‘queer’, it was more of an experience. we filmed everywhere, multiple continents, it was kind of crazy. and i mean, i’m a country boy, north carolina, so experiencing cultures outside of traditional america will always wow me,” he explains. “where are you from?”

you smile when he flips it on you because he’s very polite. “i live in north carolina too.” you tell him.

“no shit,” he smiles. “what part?”

“charlotte. i mean, i’m not orignally from there, but it’s where i live now so…” you shrug.

“where are you originally from?”

“this isn’t my interview, mr. starkey,” you smile at him. he chuckles. “can i ask another question please?”

“yes ma’am,” he relents, and you giggle. his smile grows when you giggle — his eyes haven’t left you.

you ask a couple more questions, and eventually he has to leave to go talk to another journalist. but he grabs your hand again and squeezes it, intense eye contact as he says it was nice to meet you, and to have a nice night. you’re already in a trance, even though you try to convince yourself that he was just being polite. he’s polite to everyone.

when he leaves, you can’t help but turn to the photographer with a smile on your face and your jaw dropped, simply because that was the biggest name you’ve ever spoken to. you’re unaware he never stopped the video.

────୨ৎ────

the morning after, when reporters are posting their interviews everywhere, you can’t go three scrolls on tiktok without drew’s face at TIFF appearing. you’re half-asleep, until it clicks that every interview you’ve seen has been specifically your interview with him. captioned with, ‘how to be this interviewer???’ or ‘the way he looks at her?’ or ‘someone tell her hes taken by me already’, or even ‘he looks a little young for her?’ you’ve gone viral. everyone believes that the drew starkey is into you.

you’re down a rabbit hole. the slo mo videos on him glancing at your lips, then licking his own, the way he squeezed your hand, you and him both giggling. you can’t deny how it might look either.

you go onto drew’s instagram. he doesn’t follow you, and you’re a bit nervous to initiate. so you close your eyes, bracing yourself, before hitting follow. an hour later, he follows you back. you open the app — one new message.

[Drew Starkey] : Hey it’s the cute interviewer from yesterday! How are you?

you could’ve sworn that your lungs gave out right there.

[toriaanin]

Well hello there (redacted*)! How nice of you to drop by. I'd offer you a cup of tea, but...

Me and my Lukola friends are too blind to find anything in the kitchen!

And while I'm paying attention to you (redacted)... did you not read the article that Nicola posted yesterday? Did you not take the hint that she was admonishing trolls and online bully behaviour? You know; behaviour that looks suspiciously like your message (above) to me? Perhaps you have eyesight issues too. Yes. Yes, I think you do.

As for me...

I'm simply following the clues that a possibly pregnant women has left for me and my friends. In fact her clues are more easily readable than brail.

Now; about this so called "launch" you speak of? Give me a break. Even through the haze of my cataracts I was able to see that her post for Jake the other day was lame. She didn't even tag him.

Let's compare her untagged "love" post to Jake with the HBD wishes she's posted on her IG stories for her other friends:

She shares a photo of Jake next to the trash can; a photo that doesn't even include her IN it. Surly Nicola has better photos of "the love of her life" on her phone?! Let's compare with how she wishes her very good friend Jack Rooke a happy birthday. So sweet! And tagged.

When Nicola wished Luke Fetherston a happy birthday she not only shared a photo with both of them in it, she also gave him THREE red hearts! Now that's hard launch material right there!! Oh. And he was tagged.

Nicola even gave more birthday love to Valentina, Camilla's dog, than she did to Jake. Sadly Valentina wasn't tagged either... although Camilla was 🥰 BUT, Nicola called Valentina a princess!

Don't worry. Jake's friend Hannah gave him this honourific, so he wasn't left out of the princess fairytale. It must be love!

But wait... there's competition for Jake's love!!

Now these are romantic birthday wishes to Jake, posted by Doug and Dylan the other day.

Clearly the man is loved by his friends. Deservedly so, I'm sure.

But I really, really, really question whether THIS was a hard launch?

Seems to me it was simply a birthday wish for her friend (not lover) Jake. Unfortunately she posted at 6:30am when she was half awake and neglected to tag him. Unlike her spelling-mistake story showing the billboard in Los Angeles, she didn't delete and repost Jake's birthday wish with the missing tag. I guess Luke and Bridgerton's ensemble cast nomination warranted a correctly spelled "Surprise". Deleted; replaced.

Now I ask you; am I really blind? I saw well enough to compile the photos above and make perfect sense of them. I don't see a love-launch of Jake. I see a man living his life, preparing for an amazing lead theatre role. What an opportunity! I also see a man that didn't spend time with Nicola over Christmas, New Years, her birthday, his birthday (according to her, she was in LA. Sure Jan), and today: Valentine's Day. I also see a man who is loved by his friends. Nicola is his friend.

Unless I'm missing something?

So (redacted*)... rather than come over here and rag on the truth I and my Lukola friends see - and that I shared above - why don't you and your little weiner-dog leader fuck the hell off. We know.

P.S. I'm tempted to create some merch for us blind Lukolas! Sarcastic t-shirts and sweatshirt merch is fun 💙 Want one?!

P.S.S. I've redacted the name of this poster because 10 hours after she sent this message to me, she recalled it... just before I was about to post this response. I could have scrapped my post, but she challenged me to SEE the truth. I wanted to oblige. I've redacted her name on the chance that she realized she didn't message me anonymously and so she chickened out and pulled her ask. Or perhaps she thought about Nicola's troll/bully post from yesterday and thought better of her action. Let's give her grace and assume that she came to her senses and not that she's too chicken shit to have her name out there along with her bully behaviour.

Aanin friends!

[chevxyn]

tropes!

blue lock characters as romance stories genre.

fluff, written, romantic, alternate universes.

valentines special.

note; happy valentines day everyone, sorry that i have not been uploading; i am so busy these days :((

ROMANTIC COMEDY — Shidou, Karasu, Otoya.

Shidou, would be the all time favorite male lead if he was in a romantic comedy. you’re the opposite of him. he was loud, and you were quiet.

One of the most embarrassing thing he did was when he came up to you, and fell midway. As you went to him to ask him if he’s fine, he did those cringe pick up lines. Let me just, re-enact that scene;

It was after school, you had just finished your day to day activities, including extracurriculars. Now Shidou, (for whatever reasons) decided to wait for you.

When you went out of your extracurricular room, he suddenly ran himself to you, and before he could jump to you, he fell.

Your eyes widened as you walk towards him, crouching down to his level. And before you could ask if he’s fine, his gaze went to you, finger-guns pointing at you, he says, “Did you see that? Guess you can say, I fell for you.” and winked.

You cringed internally before chuckling, before helping Shidou to stand up, and you both walked back home.

He would also joke to you about him liking his friend that is in his football team more, but if he would really be honest. He would choose you anytime and any day, rather than him.

Karasu, his story on how he fell for you is kind of ironic. So somebody liked you, and told him about it. And he thought, Hey.. What if I matchmake? he did, but, it didn’t turn out like he thought it would be.

When he decided to ask you to become his tutor (even tho he was pretty smart), you agreed cause he said the opposite. Not knowing it was solely to just figure out what you liked and don’t. Unknown to him, with how the two of your chemistry worked. He fell for you too.

“So, you were trying to set me up with someone else?” You chuckled and his hand slithered to your shoulder, “Maybe.” he looks at you.

“You’re not a really good wingman, Tabi.” you said, and he glanced at your direction. “How did they act when they found out we were dating instead?”

“Well, safe to say, they hate me” He smirked and you just leaned into his shoulder, giving a small smile, “But atleast I now have the most amazing tutor.” As he said that you gave his back a small hit, “What was that for?”

“For making me giving my all to tutor you, just to figure out you are smart enough.” with that, he just gave out a small laugh; and he kisses the side of your hair mumbling a small ‘I love you’.

So yeah, he was suppose to matchmake you, he was the one who fell and got you. To him, you’re the most perfect person, and nothing could make you mediocre.

Otoya, he is someone that made a bet. yeah, him, and his friends made a bet on if he could try and get that quiet person on their class.

When he agreed to the bet, everytime he made a move on you, you kinda just ignored him since you knew of his reputation. But after weeks of him pressuring you to go out with him, you agreed.

And he took you to a festival, only to realize at that festival, you are that kind of someone that he would admire. And eventually, he did fell for you, without the feeling of you being bothersome.

“Is this another bet?” You were standing beside him, a year at the same spot they had their first date. You knew about the bet a week after they made it, you weren’t dumb. But you didn’t expect he would fall for you and vice versa.

But here is the two of you, coming back here, at the same night and place of where they saw the fireworks together. “I don’t do bets anymore, babe.”

You just smiled and turned your gaze towards him, “And I don’t play with someone’s feelings.” He continued, “Anymore.” you finished and he held your shoulder.

And he promised as such, to himself. That he will be committed to you, since in the years he had lived, you are the only one that made him comfortable enough.

ROMANTIC FANTASY — Sae, Ness, Kaiser

Sae, He was the Crowned Prince of the Northern Kingdom. Who was the elder brother of your soon to be betrothed, you both first met in the Garden.

The first time you saw him, the two of you didn’t think much of eachother. Although, fate played a game. And the two of you would bump into eachother constantly, from the Library to the same Garden.

Eventually you both did talk more than you would with his brother, and when his father figured it out. They re-arranged the plan. And surprisingly, the two of you didn’t mind.

“[name],” it has been a few months since the two of you got married, and the two of you are set to lead the kingdom together. he called you, and your glance went to him. “Hm?”

“Ever thought what would’ve happened if you had married my brother?” he asked, his hand searching for yours, and when they held eachother, you gave a subtle smile, “i would assume it’d be a less interesting story.”

“I’m glad I got to marry you, Sae.” you said and he smiled, before pulling you close to him. “So am I,” he was so sure he wouldn’t fall for anyone during his life. So at that time when he met you at the Garden, and so on, he knew what true love is, and that is you.

So did he fell for you on the first sight? possibly, did he plan the ‘fate’ on meeting you everytime? definitely.

Ness, You were the knight of the kingdom, While you were walking the halls of the castle, a guy, that looked around your age, was searching for something.

At first, he looked like a guy that was gonna steal something from the hall, and when you stopped him, he panicked and introduced himself.

He was the new Magician, a new entertainer for the King and Queen. He introduced himself as Alexis, a guy from the North.

You apologized for scaring him and he was okay with it, and from there, the two of you were friends. Although there was something there that you couldn’t see.

“So, you defeated a dragon?” Alexis was surprised when you mentioned it and was admired of you, not that he wasn’t. “I did, it wasn’t that hard anyways.”

“You’re so easy to be admired, [name].” A pink hue could be seen in his cheek, and you just chuckled, “Thank you. I mean, you’re an awesome magician too.”

“What— no no, I have a frien—“ You let out a small ‘shh’ sound, “I wanna hear more about you, not that guy.” His cheeks reddened and he nodded. The sunset accompanied them, as they would get to know eachother better.

Kaiser, he was a general, during the war against another, he got shot by an arrow. He thought it was over, when he felt his vision getting blurry and darkened.

He never expected that he would wake up in a forest home, where an Elf came to his aid. It was you, you were kind enough to find him and took him in.

He thought the Elves was just myth, infact he thought he had died and this was just an Angel, but it proved him wrong when you touched his face just to let him know how real you are.

He didn’t wanna leave yet, not when an Elf looking Angel came to his rescue. Infact, he seems interested in you, as you are to him.

“You’re cute, ya know that?” He said to you, and your eyes averted it’s gaze to him, “Hum?” He glanced at your pointed ears, and how you looked at him.

“Come home with me.” He said and you frowned, you know you can’t go. You’re forbidden to go there due to the warnings that the Humans would kill the Elves. “I promise I won’t let them hurt you.”

Your heart raced, and you looked down. “Promise?” And he nodded, pulling your face close to his. Before he gave your forehead a kiss.

SCI-FI ROMANCE — Nagi, Isagi, Rin

Nagi, You met him on a game, VR to be exact. Where he absolutely destroyed you in a shooting game. Cause you somewhat hated losing, you dmed him.

1v1 occurred, and the two of you didn’t stop until you won. Which you did after losing 5 consecutive times to him. But it ended up making the two of you friends.

Months went pass, and the two of you met, it didn’t take long until you get an attraction towards him, and so did he.

The two of you sat down next to each other, on a flying board, enjoying the view of the city. Flying cars was passing by, as he laid down on the board.

And he pulled you down next to him, “The stars, despite dying looks beautiful.” He said and you glanced at him, “It’s like you.”

“..Are you telling me, I’m dying?” You hit his shoulder, and he huffed, “No. that’d be bothersome to think of, I meant you’re beautiful.”

Your cheeks heated up, and he laid his head on your shoulder, “I’ll teach you to be better in the game, only if you agree to be mine.” He said and you chuckled, “Sure.”

Isagi, fell down a black hole, and landed on your planet. He was nothing like you ever saw, where you came from you were cyborgs.

He was lucky enough that you met him first, and how two spoke the same language, and that the Planet that he is on isn’t quite as different as Earth.

How the two of you got close is when he figured out that you played something that called “Air-Football” Which was similar to football, but which he plays Professionally.

“So, the rules are just like football.” He said and you raised your eyebrow, “Eh, I guess if that’s what it’s called in your world.”

You were amazing at it, you scored goals after goals, it made Isagi wondered, what if you played the football that he knew?

When he tried it, he was not that bad, he just struggled at the part where well, you float. Everytime he falls, you would catch him.

One time, he fell on you, and the two of you chuckled on how he couldn’t get the hang of it. Honestly, the two of your chemistry was good, he never really had this type of chemistry with someone.

Rin, was a space explorer, searching for his brother. But, while being a planet, he saw someone that was laying down on the green grass. surrounded by flying creatures.

When they woke up, they looked like something that was not from this earth that’s for sure, wings that looks like ones of fairies that he would hear from his childhood stories.

You looked at him with your eyes that was oddly enchanting, and he froze. Before asking you if you ever saw someone that was on his photograph.

“No, I have not.” you had said, as your wings fluttered, your feet off the ground. “Why? is he lost?” You asked, and he looked at you, not wanting to answer that.

But, rather than letting him go alone, you decided to accompany him cause of sympathy. And you joined him, in hope you will find his brother with him.

He refused at first, but he eventually agreed after some persuasive arguments, and to be honest, it wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be.

“And this is Earth,” he said, he showed the holographic image, and your eyes would sparkle, he gave a subtle smile at that, he thought you were cute cause you are amazed at everything that he showed about earth, he liked that about you.

©chevxyn

[beardedjoel]

💗🎉💗CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MILESTONE!💗🎉💗

I’m so happy for you! I found you through Closer, and I couldn’t be happier about it. You’re an amazing writer and such a lovely person!

I’m wondering… what about one of these?🌹the prompt number 1. I love your writing and I cannot stop myself from asking. Perhaps with Joel, or Frankie, or Pero…I’m not picky, I’ll be happy with whatever the inspiration leads you.

Alsooooo… Is it too much if I add a little bit of 💌? I’m curious about your writing process. How do you do it? Is it linear, or do you jump around, and later “paste it”?

wym, you're so sweet and i love sharing this space with you my friend 😘 thank you for sending in this prompt and allowing me to do something special with it. thanks for your patience as i have been painstakingly slow with making my way through this backlog of requests! i'll answer your thoughtful writing question at the very bottom of the post after the one shot, if that's alright!

axel and ember — joel x f!reader

request: "overwhelmed, but happy crying during sex". sent in as part of my 5k celebration! i decided to use this one for something very personal to me. as someone who has dealt with vaginismus, this was challenging to write the last few days but it felt like the right direction for me to go in with this prompt. in no way does this describe the experience every person with vaginismus has (nor 100% true to mine), and it is a lot of hard work to help your body and mind learn to work with the sexual obstacles that come with it. i simplified things for the purpose of this story but still found it really gratifying to write so much from personal experience and feelings that i have dealt with. i highly encourage anyone who has not heard of vaginismus to do a little research as it's something that many, many women deal with in silence or is ignored as much of women's sexual health is. happy reading 💓

wc: 2.9k

warnings: 18+ MDNI, reader has vaginismus, unprotected piv

“Maybe… maybe it just doesn’t fit.”

You’d said the words, exasperated after trying for the third time that week.

“I don’t think that’s how that works, darlin’,” Joel teases the words playfully, his hair hanging down into his face as he holds himself perched above you. His smile brusquely fades when he sees that you’re genuinely upset. Some days, it hadn’t been that big of a deal, you’d been able to shrug off the frustration. Today, however, you felt frayed and emotional, pissed off that your body couldn’t just behave like a normal body should. It’s infuriating, living in a body that won’t cooperate with your mind, seeing others do with ease what you never could. What you could only have as a fantasy. 

“Hey, it’s alright.” He leans down, kissing you softly before moving from where he’d been stationed on top of you to lay at your side.

Another dream of finally having sex with your boyfriend tonight slipped away in an instant. 

“What if I try the dilators again?” you ask desperately, meeting Joel’s gaze. His warm eyes look back at yours with empathy, and he shrugs.

“If y’want. But maybe you should jus’ rest. We already had our fun, yeah?”

He’d gotten you off, you’d gotten him off. Fingers and tongues and mouths, which admittedly were great, but you craved to know what more of him felt like, more than just the one, sometimes two fingers you could handle without soon wincing in discomfort.

You wanted him inside of you, wanted your bodies joined in the way that you were so cruelly being denied by the universe.

“N-no, you’re right. It was fun.” You flash him a somewhat forced smile, grateful for his patience and love when he wraps his arms around you. Joel had been such a constant with you, so wonderful, and that only made it hurt more that you couldn’t give him this. He’d never pressured you, never made you feel at fault these last five months you’d been dating. In some ways, it had brought you closer, not being able to rush into sex, but it didn’t mean that he’d stick around forever if it meant he couldn’t get the one thing you know men always want.

“We’re gonna get it one of these days,” he reassures you, stroking your hair. “You’re workin’ hard at your sessions and here at home. Don’t tell you enough that I think it’s great, seein’ you tryin’ all of that. But don’t do it for me, okay? Do it ‘cause it’s what you want.”

You stare at him for a moment, dumbfounded. You were of course doing all of this work for yourself, so that you could freely enjoy something that should come so naturally to your body. Yet you knew that deep down the pressure was mounting, wanting to give Joel the sexual satisfaction you assumed he craved, something that your hands and mouth couldn’t give him. It was putting up a block between you and your sexuality, making each interaction that much more strained and distressing. You’re surprised Joel caught on to all of that when you’d been trying to put on a brave face for him. 

“I - I know,” you concede with a sigh. “I’m afraid sometimes. That I’ll never be enough without this piece of me.”

Joel’s deep set brow furrows further, looking hurt - for you or for himself, you can’t quite tell. His lips set into a firm line before they part, readying to speak. “I think you’re pretty damn amazing the way that y’are. I want that for us, ‘course I do. But I’d rather jus’ have you, whatever, however you are.”

“You would?” you ask sentimentally, your eyes stinging with unshed tears. You laugh slightly, wiping under your eyes, knowing your question is ridiculous but still needing that extra validation that he’s sure. That he’s okay continuing to try this with you, even if it never results in anything. 

“Yes, silly. Why do you think I’ve kept you around all this time?” 

“‘Cause I find us all the good TV shows to watch?”

He laughs, his burly chest shaking with it. “Quit bein’ a pest, I’m tryin’ to be serious with you,” he quips back, trying and failing to hold back his chuckle.

“I know. I know what you’re saying, Joel. I -“ You swallow, your face falling, pulled back into the seriousness of the moment. “I appreciate you. So, so much.” You reach and wrap your arms tightly around him. You relish in the feeling of being close to him, your naked bodies melding together, the heater-like quality of Joel always comforting to you. 

“You’re all the good in this relationship, baby.”

“Who’s being a pest now?” You flick his chest, sending the both of you into a fit of laughter again, giddy at the late hour and the tax of this evening leaving you emotionally spent.

The voice deep inside your mind taunts you as you slowly listen to Joel falling asleep next to you, his breath falling to a rhythmic pattern interlaced with tiny, endearing snores. You hold back tears that come in the dark, feeling so small and alone in this moment, knowing that despite his reassurances, he could never truly understand how this feels for you.

The next few weeks go by with much of the same - you’re busy with life, work, friends, and going to your physical therapy sessions. It was awkward at first all those months ago, laying there bare underneath the sheet while a woman practically had half her hand inside of you, but you got used to it, even started to look forward to hearing about her life and her kids. 

You and Joel try a few more times to no avail, your body once seeming to have a breakthrough before promptly making you inhale sharply in pain, shaking your head dejectedly. 

You try to let it go, let all of it go. Learn that life doesn’t surround this, it simply can’t if you don’t want this pressure, this hole in your heart that you think you need to fill, to eat you alive. This cannot mean that you’re broken, that nobody could want to be with someone born with their factory settings just a little bit off. 

You see it on Joel’s face and in his demeanor, proudly taking note of the change within you. You start to pounce on him every chance you get, fueled by trying to feed this new, insatiable mental freedom you’ve allowed yourself. If you couldn’t have the sex you were dreaming of just yet, you figured that in the meantime you may as well make the sex you are having something new to dream about.

Joel, as predicted, is highly receptive to your new outlook, hands and lips all over you more often than not the second you step through his door to spend the night with him. You find yourself laughing with him when you’re being intimate instead of focusing on that pit in your stomach that worries if this time could finally be the time. You’ve done away with taking it far too seriously to even enjoy when your gracious boyfriend is buried between your legs like it’s his favorite thing. Now, you can appreciate all of it for what it is - a way to connect with Joel, to share something special and fun and sexy together.

You lie in bed with Joel this evening, cackling as you two take turns narrating excerpts from a friend’s most recent read in the romance department that she’d lent you. For inspiration, she’d teased, saying it might help your mind and body become more open to connecting with one another on the topic of sex. You’d taken it with a grain of salt but now it was the evening's top entertainment. You had to admit that she had a point - it did feel nice to read about characters that were so sexually open that anything seemed possible for them.

“The people in these books are unreal,” you manage to get out through your laughter, wiping the stream of tears that coats your cheeks. Joel wipes at the corners of his own eyes, still chuckling.

“Wouldn’t mind givin’ some of these a try one of these days, bet you’d be sexy flipped upside down or whatever the hell they were doin’,” Joel says, propped up on his elbow, his handsome eyes smoldering in your direction. The implication that many of the acts the fictional couple are doing involves things that your body hasn’t been cooperating enough to even go near makes you stiffen for a moment. Maybe a month ago, the comment would have wrecked you, sent you spiraling or feeling self conscious about this perceived insufficiency of yours, but now you let it slide right off your back.

You scrunch your nose at him, letting it fall into a sly smile as he flicks his eyes over you in appreciation. “Shush,” you tease. “We need to find out what happens next to… whatever their names are.” This had all been in good fun, and their names seemed secondary to the juicy details of their sex lives. 

“Axel and Ember.” Joel cuts in, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

You deadpan. “Right… Someone has been paying attention.”

“Go on, then…” Joel insists with sass, his hand motioning expectantly to the open book in your lap. You smirk before focusing on the page and continuing where you left off. You two read until both of your eyelids get heavy, the words muttered slower and slower, your bodies buzzing hotly with arousal from the content yet far too tired to do anything to make a move on the other person. 

“Tomorrow,” Joel utters in your ear just as you’re moving into that cozy, floaty, drifting sensation before it all goes black. “Tomorrow I’m gonna Axel your ass into oblivion.”

You’re awoken by a kiss, feather light upon your lips. Your lids flutter open to see Joel, his scruffy beard and unbearably cute bed head up close and personal with you. It’s barely light out, the room bathed in the pale blue glow that comes right before dawn. Your skimpy camisole strap has slid off your shoulder, the entire thing askew and leaving one of your tits bared to him. Joel’s eyes seem to be glued there before flicking back and forth between your now perky nipple and your face. His lips close around it, gently sucking, and you writhe, your body turning towards his.

“You’re so fuckin’ sexy,” he mutters against your hot skin, breath ghosting over your sensitive nipple. You shudder, your skin prickling with anticipation, the space between your thighs desperately empty. Going to bed so unsatisfied seemed to have done a number on the both of you as you’re now acutely aware Joel pressing up against you, his cock already hard and leaking.

“Joel…” you whine, hips bucking towards him.

He dives in, his lips devouring yours, shifting his body to straddle yours, grasping the sides of your face in his hands. His tongue laps into your mouth and you arch your back into the way his hips start to grind into yours, burning desire low in your belly. You’re already so damn wet from his teasing, more than you’ve ever been, built up longing spilling over from last night.

“I… want to try right now,” you finally manage to gasp out as his lips separate from yours for a brief second. He pauses, looking down at you, his heavy lidded eyes sincere as they dance over your features.

“You sure? It’s okay if we jus’ -”

“No. I’m sure,” you tell him. “I feel so good. I want to feel good with you.” Your fingers dig into his bare back, urging him on.

He only nods, his throat bobbing as he swallows. He places gentler kisses on your lips before moving to your neck, then down your body until he reaches the waistband of your sleep shorts. Tugging those down along with your panties, he moves with certainty and care, adoring your soft skin in every place along the way. 

He touches a gentle finger to your slit, so sensitive and swollen now, and you suck in a breath.

“Holy shit. God damn, baby,” he muses with awe, fire burning in his dark eyes.

You chuckle shakily, feeling your cheeks flush as you avert your eyes shyly. “I - I know. I need you.”

“Can practically feel her puslin’,” he growls, licking his lips, desire clouding his mind.

Your cheeks only grow hotter at his dirty words, pulling your lip between your teeth. “Taking a page from Axel’s book, I see,” you tease him breathily.

“Nah. This is all Joel Miller, baby,” he replies just as he uses his whole hand to cup your slick cunt, the both of you groaning quietly. Joel starts to shimmy his briefs down, leaving him completely stripped underneath the covers with you. You wait for him to climb back on top of you, carefully removing your top and taking you in.

“Perfect.” He smiles, and you wrap your legs around his waist, a silent signal that you’re ready. Joel reaches between your bodies, bringing his cock to your cunt, lazily moving it through the folds until he’s coated in your arousal, each stroke making your hips buck, your need climbing to an unbearable level.

“Please…” you whine, feeling the emptiness inside of you, craving that full sensation you’ve been romanticizing time and time again in your mind.

“I got you, baby. No matter what. I’m right here, ‘kay?” You feel him line himself up, trying to manage your expectations as you nod for him, swallowing down your nerves. Even if it doesn’t work this time, it’ll be okay, you’ll be oka -

The tip of his cock pushes past your entrance, and you gasp, eyes going wide. You both pause, staring at each other in an optimistic, full silence, breathing heavily.

You nod again, mouth agape. “More…” you whisper softly, taking a deep breath, trying to relax your body.

Joel smiles, pressing his hips into you the tiniest bit more. He still slides in with ease, the smallest pinch subsiding when he takes a beat, then pushes a little more, repeating the process a few times. You feel the stretch, the slight burn as your body adjusts, your mind racing at the miracle that’s occurring, barely even able to register it right now.

“Oh my god,” you mutter, starting to shake. Joel leans down to kiss you, a comforting move, but it only pushes his cock in another bit, making you gasp softly at the fullness.

To your shock, when he pulls back the sensation begins to near something pleasurable. “Sorry,” he quickly spits out, his concerned stare meeting yours.

“No. It’s good. A-again. Do that again.” You start to smile in earnest, a toothy grin that you can’t help but feel spread across your face. 

“What… this?” he asks coyly, more overt with the thrust inwards as he pulls his lips into yours. He buries his face in your neck, breathing you in and kissing the sensitive skin there. “You’re so wet, so fuckin’ tight, baby. You feel incredible.”

You shudder underneath him, moaning softly as his words travel right to your core, burning with a new kind of eagerness you’ve never felt before. “You feel so good,” you echo back to him as you pant.

Joel starts to move, testing the waters with slow, steady movements. You keep breathing, terrified that any minute the ball will drop or this will have been a dream or some cruel trick your body is playing on you. But the sporadic bursts of discomfort subside with each new roll of Joel’s hips, blooming into something pleasurable and sweet, pulling up from deep inside of you.

Emotion bubbles to the surface before you can even tame it, your eyes brimming with tears when Joel bottoms out inside of you, pulling back and pushing in to the hilt again. It feels good, amazing even, to be so full of him, to celebrate this victory, even if only for today.

“Shit. Sweetheart, you’re okay, right? Are you hurting?” Joel freezes when he sees your watery eyes, every muscle coiled stiffly, his face screwed up in fear.

You shake your head, fighting the urge to sob, but Joel’s faithful, genuine concern puts you over the edge. Tears spill, rolling down your cheeks in profound little streaks, every bit of your frustration and pain and anger from the last half of a year pouring out into this beautiful display of pure joy.

“I swear, I’m happy, I’m happy,” you cry out, immediately cradled in Joel’s arms.

“Good,” Joel breathes out in relief. “You’re happy, I’m the happiest fuckin’ guy in the world.”

His words make the tears flow faster, but you start to laugh amidst it all. “Stop making me cry harder!” you chastise him, hugging him tightly around the neck. 

“Joel…” you say after a long, tender embrace, the two of you soaking it in. His cock still throbs inside of you, reminding you of the pleasure you’d started to chase moments ago, lost to the emotion of the moment.

“Hm?” he asks, pulling his head from where it had been buried in the crook of your to look at you.

“Please fuck me now.”

He grins, the movement lighting up his entire face with a lusty glow before he eagerly crashes his lips with yours again. When you see his eyes again, you swear they’re a shade darker, his cheeks tinged with the color of desire. Low and gravelly, he finally speaks. 

“Grab your god damned vibrator, sweetheart.”

to answer your 💌 my writing process is a little all over the place! i used to write mostly linearly, that was what worked for me and i kind of thought of everything in order. but lately i have been doing a bit more doc hopping when i get stuck. maybe writing a later scene that i have ideas for and feel like it's more fleshed out or going back and polishing older paragraphs and such. i definitely am not a big outliner and plotter, which i'd like to get better about! but mostly everything just lives in my head and gets blobbed onto the doc once i have time to write it, which sometimes leaves things forgotten hehe

(divider by @/saradika-graphics!)

[graci3sb0w]

All yours, baby.

Gracie Abrams x Female Reader Summary : you and Gracie go to Taylors party only for one of Kelce's friend to flirt with you. Let's just say Gracie isn't too happy about it.

Warnings : jealousy, bf Gracie, fluff

Taylor Swift's birthday party was the party of the year, before it even started officially.

Gracie and I stopped in front of my mirror, fussing with our clothes for what felt like the hundredth time. Taylor had sent out invitations with a silent expectation that everyone would be looking their best. I'd wasted twenty minutes debating with myself about whether or not my dress was too much or too little before Gracie cut me down with a blunt, "You look hot. Let's go."

The bows, however, had been her idea.

"Come on, please," she had begged, smiling as she held out the soft silk ribbons she had picked. One in pale blush pink, the other in classic black. "Matching bows, Y/N. It's so us."

I had rolled my eyes, half-exasperated, half-laughing. "Gracie."

She pouted. "Don't be boring. Think about the look."

"You just want an excuse to tie something in my hair."

Her eyes sparkled meanly. "I love to tie things in your hair."

And, since I was a pushover for her (and since she was already leaning in towards my hair), I let her.

We were standing outside now, with our backs to the building, which twinkled with fairy lights and music already pulsating through the walls. A security guard checked our names against the guest list, and then—magically—we were let in.

The party was exactly what I had envisioned: polished but electric, a pack of celebrities mingling, flutes of champagne served by waiters in starched white jackets.

Gracie tugged my hand as we stepped inside. "Let's find Taylor before she gets swept up in the Blake-Selena-Sophie crowd."

"I believe she lives with them now."

We barely had time to take it all in before we heard—

"There you are!"

Taylor suddenly appeared out of thin air, as otherworldly as ever, in some kind of retro-themed, glittery dress. She was cradling a single drink and had an all-out joy look in her eyes as she hugged us both.

"You both look so amazing," she said, stepping back to look at us. And then she caught sight of the bows. She smirked flirtatiously. "Oh my God, matching bows?"

Gracie grinned, pushing hers up like a crown. "So us, then?"

I rolled my eyes. "She forced me."

Taylor tilted her head. "You're playing like she had to fight you. We all know you'd do anything she asks."

I pretended to be shocked. "You betrayed me so fast."

Gracie simply grinned smugly, slipping an arm around my waist. "She knows what's up."

Taylor laughed, shaking her head. "God, you two are disgusting."

A waiter passed by, and Taylor grabbed two champagne glasses from him, handing one to each of us and then lifting hers. "To my birthday," she said, "and to my two favorite lovers in denial."

Gracie gagged on her drink. I nearly spilled mine.

"Taylor!" I hissed, blushing.

She just laughed and walked away, leaving us standing there, shocked.

Gracie was the first to come out of it, elbowing me. "Denial, huh?"

I shook my head. "I hate her."

"You love her."

I sighed, sipping champagne. "Shut up."

The night had gone so smoothly—dancing, laughing, striking a ridiculous number of poses with Taylor, and sitting through Jack Antonoff grumbling about how much he hated getting dressed up.

And then.

He appeared.

Travis Kelce's friend.

Tall. Dumbly arrogant. That kind of charming in an unsubtle fashion that only men who never had to work too hard tend to have.

It started as normal. He came over to greet me, which was okay. But then—he started looking at me like I was the center of attention. Like he cared. (Disgusting)

And that's when Gracie's hold on me subtly clamped down.

He leaned forward, smiling. "So, how do you know Taylor?"

I shifted, aware of Gracie standing by my side. "We met in music. We've known each other for a while."

He nodded, looking impressed. "That's cool. You look cool." His eyes flicked down to my dress. "You look great tonight too."

Gracie's arm around my waist suddenly wasn't resting—it was holding on.

The guy was oblivious. He just grinned at me, all confident. "You know, I was going out, but when I saw you, I'm glad I didn't."

Before I could even think about how to answer, Gracie interrupted.

"She's with me," she said, her voice smooth but unyielding.

The guy blinked, eyes darting back and forth between us. "Oh."

Gracie smiled—sweet, but menacing. "Yeah." She wrapped her hand around my waist, holding tight. "So you can go ahead and try to flirt with someone else."

For an instant, it looked like he was going to slug it out. But then he caught a glimpse in her eyes that led him to do otherwise.

"Uh… yeah, cool. No problem." He grudged an unnatural laugh, nodded, and retreated.

The instant he'd vanished, I looked at Gracie with my brows raised. "That was.. a lot."

She still hadn't let me go. "He was annoying."

I bit my lip, trying not to smile. "You're jealous."

She rolled her eyes. "Wow. Okay. First of all, I am not jealous—"

"You so are."

"I just didn't like the way he was eyeing you up and down. And calling you the prettiest girl here like it was news? Please."

I smiled, a warmth spreading through my chest. "Boyfriend Gracie is kinda hot."

That fazed her. A silence latched onto me before she expelled a dramatic sigh. "Now you're simply attempting to distract me."

I tilted my head, regarding her. "Working?"

She expelled a breath, arms still encircling me. "Maybe."

I moved in, lightly kissing the corner of her jaw, because I could. Because I wanted to, "im yours, baby."

Gracie melted. Fully.

And that's when I realized—

Jealousy did her really, really well.

[parasolladyansy]

(response to your update post) thank YOU for being an absolutely amazing person! your rewrite project caught my eye somewhere in november and ive adored it since! im here for every update, but also any other project you set your mind on, like HoB or the survival au!

i love your art and i love the story youre telling and youre just such an inspiration to me because i actually also have hypothyroidism '^^ when i saw you mention it a while ago, IMAGINE my shock, lmao, that was a real kick to my heart

so ever since ive been trying to go "you can do this, theres a person you look up to that is doing it, so if she can, you can too!"

anyway, shgksjf, im sorry for the ramble but ive been meaning to tell you this for a while

have a wonderful wonderful day <3

;U; 🩵🩵🩵

Thank you so much. I always feel very humbled when I get these cuz I’m just a goober with a stylus XD

(small TW: medical stuff)

Oh yeah! I had thyroid cancer, so I don’t have a thyroid anymore. I just have to take this medicine every day & get check ups every so often to make sure everything’s good. Other than that, I’m pretty okay; like I can still live more or less the same as before ^_^

I’ve definitely felt the same feelings for artists I admire, some of whom I’m very happy to call friends. Makes me grateful that I can inspire others in some way, just doing what I like. 🩵

You have a great day, too! Take care! ^o^/

[cryptidafter]

A Love Letter to GagaOoLala

If you, like me, have recently discovered (or rediscovered) the wonderful world of non-western queer media then I highly recommend you get a subscription to GagaOoLala (no I am not being paid for this. I love Gaga that much lol)

Look, I know what you’re thinking: “Why would I pay for another streaming service?” But, hear me out. Gaga offers a treasure trove of engaging, thoughtful, and unique queer media. Indie films, TV shows, old stuff, new stuff. AND IT’S ALL GAY! Whenever I want to watch something new, Gaga is the first place I go. I know I’m guaranteed to find something that suits my tastes or that scratches a particular itch. Gaga’s catalog puts Netflix to shame. 

I’ve seen so many posts and videos about people hungry for more queer media. They don’t like the little variety they’re given. I get it, it sucks when you can’t find any mainstream media representation…but here’s the thing. IT’S OUT THERE. Once you look past your own shores, you’ll find that so many other countries are putting out the queer shows you’re craving. I’m an American so I speak from a US perspective: PUSH PAST YOUR OWN BOUNDARIES AND OPEN YOUR MIND TO SOMETHING NEW. 

Gaga has shows from Korea, Japan, Thailand, France, Spain and more. I’ve learned so much about different cultures and regions from the writers and directors who make these shows/films. It’s a refreshing change of pace and a much needed reminder that the queer experience (despite a few societal or cultural differences) is universal. As Bong Joon Ho so eloquently stated: "Once you overcome the 1-inch tall barrier of subtitles, you will be introduced to so many more amazing films."

You want some examples of what Gaga has to offer? Here are just a small selection of some of my favorites: 

Fragrance of the First Flower (Taiwan)

A delightful short series (season two airs on February 18th!) about two women, Yi-Ming and Ting Ting, who reconnect years after high school and rekindle a relationship. Yi-Ming is in an unfulfilling marriage and afraid to live openly due to fear of judgment. Ting Ting is a free spirit who’s confident in herself and her desires (though she also has secrets of her own). I can’t recommend this show enough for those who enjoy high tension and drama with heartfelt moments of tenderness and vulnerability. 

Su Hee (Korea)

A short film about Su Hee, a young woman stifled by the overbearing presence of her devoutly religious mother, who finds solace and connection at church through the pastor’s daughter, Han-na. This one is beautifully filmed and acted. I’ve watched it probably five or six times at this point. Despite only having a runtime of only 25 minutes, the story manages to flow well and the emotional punches hit hard.

Yes Or No (and the sequels) (Thailand)

A movie that’s credited as the first lesbian film from Thailand that features a butch lead! Pie moves into a new college dorm and is shocked to find that her roommate, Kim, looks and dresses like a boy. Despite early bumps in the road, their relationship gradually develops until romance starts to bloom! This one is so wonderfully mid-2010s in presentation. I loved both of the main leads and it’s great to have a film with a more masculine presenting romantic interest! 

Honorable mentions (aka other stuff I really, really loved because this post is already too damn long): 

Sleep With Me

Chaser Game W 

Call Me By No Name (on-going)

Sipjangsaeng (did I understand this movie? No. Did it compel me? Yes.)

Candy Rain 

As lesbian media is my obsession right now, I asked my friends and fellow Gaga enthusiasts @technicallyverycowboy & @lugarn to give me some of their personal recommendations that cover other shades of the queer spectrum: 

Shadow (Thailand)

Set in 1999, it's about a teenager named Dan who transfers to an all-boys Catholic high school and becomes entangled in the mystery of a former student, Trin, who vanished the year before. As Dan delves deeper into who Trin was and what secrets he and the school were hiding, he beings to uncover more unsettling things about his own life. It’s a show that really deftly weaves together mystery and horror and history, complex relationships, and what it means to live with the ever expanding consequences of your choices.

End of the World With You/Bokura no Micro na Shuumatsu (Japan)

As an apocalyptic meteor heads toward Earth, a guy who has been stuck in a dead-end job with little joy in his life named Masumi accidentally reconnects with wealthy and successful Ritsu, who broke Masumi’s heart in college. The two of them set out to help two other strangers get back to family before it all ends, while realizing how much they meant to each other and maybe still do. This show uses the premise of “if you only had ten days left to live, what would you do with them?” so, so well. The characters are so vivid in their strengths and flaws and in the ways they come through for each other. The way Masumi and Ritsu’s relationship, from the moment they meet to the last moment of the show, is a particularly nuanced take on how important a second chance, even a brief one, can be.

Beyond the Green Mountain (China)

The official blurb for this movie is "One summer, in a little fishing village in China, a teenage boy's quiet life is interrupted by the return of a childhood friend. A story about youth, friendship, and blossoming love in the summer breeze." And honestly, that's perfect! It's a very short (15 minute) film that is gorgeous and captures a lot of the longing of youth. The majority of the film is shot after beautiful shot of where these boys live with them included in it. The way the visual language grounds the film in the place where it's set is just wonderful and once again, the longing. Such longing! 

Honorable mentions (some that I have also seen): 

Playboyy

4 Minutes

Kiseki Dear To Me 

My Personal Weatherman

Bed Friend 

Meet You at the Blossom

Pornographer

The Heart Killers

Caged Again

I hope you’ve been thoroughly convinced to give Gaga a try! It’s worth every penny. 

[mint-ty]

Since the Lithuanian band Katarsis is new to me too, I made a summary of this interview that was filmed after LT semi-final. (youtube video)

They say they're very surprised about getting through the LT semi-final (when this interview was filmed) and it's amazing how many people have listened to their song.

Did they watch the semi-final on the tv? (the shows were prerecorded).

Alan: no, I was a bit scared and spent the day in bed watching random series, only turned on the TV for the final voting :D and when we passed I rewinded the whole show to watch from the beginning.

Why Eurovision?

Lukas: in the beginning it was just like a joke among us like "oh let's go to Eurovision!:D" but then after looking more into it, it seemed like a good experience and opportunity. Hardest was to convince Emilija and Alanas to sign for it.

Alanas: yeah I didn't want to participate for myself, I didn't think our music would be welcomed maybe on such a big scale, but the band is more important so I wanted to fight with my fear and do this for my friends:)

Lukas: there's a lot of skepticism around underground musicians for both Eurovision and TV in general. But after thinking about it longer we decided there's nothing we would lose by trying.

Have you ever played on Žalgiris Arena stage before? (currently the biggest stage in LT)

Alan: yeah once :D another warm-up band needed a back-up guitarist and asked me in. It was nice:D

Is there anything you want or plan to change for the LT Finals performance?

Lukas: maybe the whole entrance? we're not used to tv stages so just when to start a song is communicated well in my opinion. But for the song itself we try not to think too much and keep everything that is as now.

How hard is it to pretend to play the instruments on stage, since only the vocals are live?

Alanas: yeah it was hard, since it doesn't feel like you even need to be there on the stage. I really wanted to pretend like Kurt Cobain overly acting in that one TV show or something like that :D I think it's better to do it with less perfection, but to do it live.

Have you played the song before?

Lukas: no, it never has been finished to the very end. When we will play it now, it for sure will sound different from how it sounded before in our rehearsals. In live gigs we can adapt the songs much more to the audience and the feeling, but this song obviously will have to stay closer to the recorded version from now on, with back vocals phonogram and all.

What is the song about?

Lukas: I don't really know honestly, the song changed so many times and had so many meanings to me, that now it doesn't mean anything in particular. Maybe it's about relationships. It also can mean anything to the listener, however he understands the song.

So is it about a relationship with a particular person?

Lukas: no, it had many forms and now it's just a ball of a feeling in general, so it's really hard to say what it's about.

What about the part "tavo" in the end of the song? people even count how many times it was said and say it's too many times.

Lukas: the original song was even longer, over 4 minutes, so we actually concenced it. I used the sound of "tavo" as an additional which I think sounded cool :D

How did Katarsis start?

Lukas: first I was alone, just playing music as a teenager in my bedroom. My first recorded song from a phone is even still on soundcloud. Then I got invited to several gigs and saw that playing by myself was very difficult, and started looking for a band, and here we are eventually.

Where is the name "Katarsis" from?

Lukas: I really like movies and theater, and at the time I was in a sort of movie camp, and heard this word and really liked it. Now it also has a meaning of "letting out your feelings", which I think fits our music style well.

You say you are an alternative music underground band, but I wouldn't call you underground because you have another song Vasarą Galvoj Minoras that has 3mln on spotify and even got an award. How many gigs do you do? I heard people sweep your tickets?

Lukas: recently they don't sweep our tickets anymore, maybe that's why we went to Eurovision :D we had a period when everyone wanted to hear just that one song, now our gigs are smaller but people actually know our songs and want something new, so that is very lovely

Are you afraid Tavo Akys might be your most popular song now, that you'll have to play as the finishing one for many gigs to come?

Lukas: not really, no. Even Vasarą Galvoj Minoras we weren't playing in the end. Usually in the middle somewhere, and recently I don't think we played it at all.

Alanas: I don't really like that song so I'm happy we're not playing that :D I had told that to Lukas too :D I joined the band after it was already released.

How did the band come together? since each of you have also your individual music projects and other bands that you also play in, like Emilija has a duet band with her partner, you Alan are playing for another band and also have your individual EP, and etc.

Alanas: I was asked to join by our drummer Jokūbas, since we were coursemates in uni.

Lukas: and Jokūbas came to the band to replace the previous drummer before I even knew the old drummer wanted to leave :D he said to me one time we met in a fest "I heard you're looking for a drummer?" and I was "no?.." :D but I did call him later to join after all.

Questions from the listeners: Any bands that influence your music?

Lukas: honestly I try to listen less at the moment because I don't want to pick any influence. So I can't say if there was any influence before. Recentry I liked some wild noise electronic songs, and maybe Orillia(?) Shadow song from the 90s I think.

Any rituals before going on stage?

Both: nope

Alan: tune my guitar :D

Have you noticed more alternative music going to Eurovision stage? Would you like to see more bands like yours on Lithuanian stage?

Both: honestly we weren't following previous eurovisions that closely, maybe only the finals..

Lukas: yes of course. It always feels like eurovision songs are just a repeat of the same. I'd especially love to see more unique music, I think Lithuania has a lot to offer not only for our stage but for all Europe. Something like Molchat Doma has done by Belarussians, I think we can really find good music to uplift among ourselves too.

Do you expect to do gigs outside in other European countries?

Both: we weren't even expecting to pass the semi-final :D

Alanas: but yeah I'd love to try playing abroad. I had talked with fellow musicians and it sounds like an amazing experience.

What about lithuanian language in the songs?

Lukas: I love that it has been becoming more popular. I always enjoy hearing native language in foreign songs too, so I hope there will be more of that.

Who worked on the LED visuals on the screen?

Lukas: it was Ignas Blažys, a graphic designer, but he feels like a part of our band now since he helped so much with the visuals. We might change something a bit for later on the screen, I don't know yet, we'll see.

How about a choerography on the stage? are you planning anything?

Lukas: yeah we planned - walking around a bit :D we might need to think about that too, but for sure we don't want any hard choreography because it won't feel organic then and we want the song to feel natural.

The cameras should be catching me, not me catching the cameras.

Interviewer: not how eurovision works, but good luck :D

Are you scared a bit about going to Basel? Have you kept several free weeks in May just in case?

Alanas: I didn't.. :D maybe I should cancel my works just in case..

Lukas: to be honest we're not expecting to go to Basel, so we're not scared and we're trying to enjoy the experience. Maybe if we win, then we will be scared I think :D

Do you have some jobs outside of music that might be impacted by a trip to Basel?

Alanas: I teach guitar, so I might need to cancel few weeks of lessons :D

Lukas: I work as a video editor, mostly because I need a salary. Also I wanted to say thank you very much for everyone who believe in us and write lovely comments, they really go to my heart ♡

Do you write song lyrics by hand?

Lukas: no I write to notes on computer or on my phone. I'm that generation already.. :D I don't think I have a ballpen at home... :D

Just for curiosity, are you right or left-handed?

Lukas: I think we're all right-handed in the band.

If you meet Tommy Cash, what would you talk about? :D

Alanas: oh wow, I don't even know, I'm a bit intimidated I think.. :D he's an amazing artist and performer and I have huge respect for him, I don't know.. It's like when I was a child and saw Marilyn Manson, what would I even say? :D

Interviewer: I had a chance to be in the same party with Marilyn Manson two times - he is as creepy as he looks :D But with Tommy Cash I'm sure you'd find a common topic if you both meet, especially that his music is also considered alternative to some level.

How old are you?

Alanas: 23, Lukas: 22

Are you planning an English version of Tavo Akys?

Both: for sure no.

Have you got a katarsis feeling when you passed the semi-finals?

Lukas: maybe not katarsis, euphoria maybe? when we passed I was super happy for a bit and then I got worried what next, another 2 weeks of work. But then, before now I had half of year of free time and I wasn't feeling too well myself to be honest, so now with a full schedule of things to do I'm feeling much happier and fuller as a person.

Have you checked reactions from foreigners to your song? do you read comments?

Alanas: yeah I love reading comments :D some of them are very creative, I also screenshot and post some to our group chat :D

Lukas: youtube reactions are also funny, they really don't say anything, but yeah we've seen some.

Any potential collabs or wishes?

Lukas: we're actually planning a collab song with another band Velvet vocalist.

Any more plans? for albums or such for this year?

Lukas: we have some gigs planned for this summer, but with new releases we'll see, maybe.

Did you have a strategy for going to eurovision?

Lukas: I think the main strategy was just to try and see, get some experience, try for ourselves so we don't feel stuck.

Interviewer: Thank you everyone and good luck.

[heavy-draw]

Were it anyone else, Shamir would be fighting furiously to escape their grip. But for it to be Catherine, the woman she trusts her life with, she simply rests her head on her shoulder as she remains silent to listen to every word that she speaks-- hanging on each syllable, committing every lilt of her voice to memory. Etching her tone into her very soul, for these words to accompany her in her moments of weakness and to remind her that she has something to come home to. She's had a home since Catherine first took her hand. Since they agreed to be partners, and since her brash and unapologetic attitude had changed her daily routine. Since she felt as if she had another soul in this world that would stand beside her no matter the odds... and one that would persevere. Shamir would always choose her own survival over someone else's. That's how it's been for decades, and that's how she's always managed to come out unscathed on the other side of a war. But now... perhaps there's something worth dying for. Something worth living for, too. A dry, breathy chuckle escapes her upon listening to Catherine's rambling, and her hand moves up to cup her partner's cheek as she continues. It's always been characteristic of her to keep talking when words were no longer needed... but Shamir appreciates the sentiments she's giving her. But she already knows. She just wanted Catherine to say it for herself, to acknowledge it finally. "Hey," Shamir mumbles in a low tone as her hands are taken in much larger, much warmer ones. It's cute, really, seeing how earnest and truthful that she's being right now... and perhaps it's time for the mercenary to be honest as well, even if the idea scares her beyond anything else. "I'm not going anywhere. Not without you. Alright?" She leans in to steal another chaste kiss, giving those firm, reliable hands a tight squeeze before she speaks. "I've always been afraid. Afraid that me letting my guard down will be a curse of some kind, that the second I let you in is the second I'll watch you die on a battlefield, fighting a war that doesn't even concern us." "You're strong, you're stubborn, and you're an amazing fighter-- but those qualities won't stop a sword in the back, or an arrow through the chest." Shamir bites down on her lower lip there, brows furrowing as her uncertainty threatens to overtake her in that moment; too many memories flash through her mind, too many recollections of friends... lovers... comrades gone from a single blow. "I can't watch you die. I can't even-- I can't--" Her voice breaks there before a sigh follows, lowering her head in an expression of near shame. It's so easy to fall into Catherine's orbit, but the scars that have been left on her soul and her body remind her of the possibility that one of them won't return home after a particularly vicious mission. "Please... Don't go where I can't follow." @thunderbanned

GRRR BARK BARK

catherine & shamir - continued from here

[sigsfigs]

sorry for no art was too busy MEETING BRENNAN ZAC AND ERIKA????????

[seraphic-sibyl]

I should have been born a frog. I should have been born a frog. I should have been born a frog. I should have been born a frog. I should have been born a frog. I should have been born a frog. I should have been

[anthropoetics]

what's stressing you if you don't mind sharing? :/

it's the end of semester so uni is terrible, but the main thing is my housemate. she's really controlling and finds flaws in everything i do (i lived with multiple people before her and it has always been fine), so it's really stressing me out because every damn week she has something to say.

[actual-corpse]

Just got a rude reminder about how great it is to never have children/ be an only child.

There's too much drama involved with dying, apparently.

[melrosing]

finished my brilliant friend

[genekies]

tag vent

[izzy-b-hands]

Stood almost waist deep in the ocean for the first time today. kind of want to live there now lol