#i feel so powerless
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i know im actively fighting for my life (probably literally) against a wound rn but i have never had stronger urges in my life
#everything hurts so much#every second is a nonstop war of anxiety being waged on my body n mind#every single thing that happens i want to cry and i want to cut i want to make it go away#i dont know why im so bad right now#i dont know what to do#i feel so powerless#i just want to play games i want to b silly i just want an Escape
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My dad is in Orlando and milton is heading right for him
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I don't wanna be in a world where genocide is justified. I don't wanna be in a world where people cannot live freely without fear of being killed, where people cannot live freely in their own homes. I don't wanna live in a world where propaganda rots everyone's brains and makes them believe that the oppressors are the oppressed. I don't want to live in a world where Palestine is wiped off the face of the Earth because of disgusting, blood thirsty leaders. I don't wanna live in a world where Palestinian people can't be free. Everyone deserves to live, no one deserves to die because they fought for their land.
#i feel so powerless#i wish i could do more for the Palestinian people#they dont deserve this#from the river to the sea palestine will be free#Palestine
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not knowing the setlist is so weird... like what are they playing rn I have no idea
#i feel so powerless#like why dont i have every bit of info at my fingertips????#anyway no iliwys songs matthew#you're on thin ice.#ALSO GIVE KIRKE A GOOD SETLIST I BEG
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#i might lose lilah tonight#i dont know what happened but she started having seizures and now she wont get up#i have no way to get to an emergency vet either and no money so im completely helpless and i hate it so much#i just got her back#i can't fucking lose her for real this time#im terrified#i cant do this#i cant live without her#i really cant#i should've caught on sooner i wish i did#i couldn't even spend a couple of days of her being back#if she does go ill be inactive for a bit (ill probably be inactive anyways since i dont want to take my eyes off of her at all#so no sleep#im trying to hope for the best but its so hard#i feel so powerless
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somebody that means the world to me was in a really terrible domestic violence incident over the weekend and is in the hospital (and will be for at least another week) and she’s STILL planning on going back to the guy that attacked her when she gets out. i would sell my soul, do anything, to save her from this, but i know that’s not how it works. i’ve been so upset and i’m trying to make sure she knows i’ll love her and won’t abandon her no matter what choices she makes, but i was really hoping she’d choose to leave.
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What are you supposed to do in this godforsaken country if you need a life saving procedure that costs TWO. MILLION. DOLLARS. Where are you suppose to get that money.
Genuinely asking. What are you supposed to do.
What am I supposed to do for my friend??? Watch him die???
Is Gofundme the only option? To extort money from my other friends and loved ones? To sing and dance for strangers, and hope his story is more marketable than someone else’s?
If any knows any resources for sickle cell patients in Virginia please please send them to me.
I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.
#sicklecell#sickle cell disease#sickle cell anemia#sickle cell awareness#please help#help#what do i do#How do I help#i feel so powerless#medical bills#healthcare#Scholarships#Casgevy#Lyfgenia#gofundme#go fund him
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If any of yall want front you can honest to goodness have it
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#i feel so powerless#so useless#i can't do anything right#i can't help#i can't do anything that matters#and i'm so selfish for even complaining#this is stupid#i'm sorry#i'm so sorry#i wish i could be useful. i wish i could bring smiles on people's faces#just as much as they bring a smile on mine. i wish i could give the world back everything its given me#i feel too lucky and it disgusts me.
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we have no protein in this household -_-
#fuck am i supposed to eat for dinner? 5 yeast rolls? get real#and unlike the rest of this house i have no means of obtaining the missing ingredients#i cant even make the decision to order food bc i have no money of my own and have to wait for some member of my family to tell me i can#and no one has answered my texts for an hour#i feel so powerless#im completely dependent on other people and i hate the feeling#i want to be able to do things without having to ask for permission first
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#i feel so much guilt with everything unfolding in gaza#i feel so powerless#there are so many ppl dying and i can’t do anything but pray#oh lord i pray for your mercy please save the palestinian people my heart is breaking
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i can't believe i grew up at the heart of some of the evangelical zionists. when i moved away i thought i was never gonna hear about any of that craziness again. i thought it was fringe beliefs and i had no idea how far reaching some of it is. there wasn't even anyone i could talk to about it outside from home that even knew what the fuck i was talking about if i ever brought it up, i usually never did because no one i met outside of home held remotely any of the same beliefs, even if they were also a christian.
i grew up terrified of the thought of ww3 breaking out and the second coming of christ happening because Israel is supposed to be the epicenter of the war that triggers it or something like that and i was afraid of the so called being "left behind" because that's all i had been taught. like i attended these huge events at mega churches that played out the scenarios of the post second coming. people dressed in military garb carrying fake weapons throughout fake streets entering fake homes and fake executing christians for praying in their homes and mark of the beast and much more.
i thought this was all "normal" by the way. i had like no clue of the outside world so to speak. i thought id never have to think about any of it again once i moved away. seeing zionism and israel talked about on here started breaking cracks some number of years again, i think when the march of the return protests happened, that was when i actually started to learn about palestine. the people of palestine are conveniently left out by the protestant evangelical zionists, they simply speak of israel and her "enemies". i did not know much about palestine before this but i knew much about israel, i know many many people who personally went to israel often. they spoke so much of israel and of the land, never mentioning palestine or palestinians. sometimes they would speak of praying for israel and her people because of the terrorist attacks or the attacks from her enemies how the US protects israel because the US is a godly nation or whatever.
i dont really know the point of this post, i never expected any of the above to ever be relevant, i didn't know how horrible the world was until i left home. it's crazy all the different things i was led to believe growing up.
i don't have the language to express what i wish i could. i just know it's all so wrong what's happening, so very terribly wrong. others have expressed it all much better than i ever could. the moment i heard about the hamas video i knew what was to come, i knew israel had been waiting for something like that to justify against palestinians and of course the US was so ready and willing to back it all up.
#i dont know what to say ive always been afraid to talk about any of this because i dont know how anyone will interpret this#im not zionist or religious#i feel so powerless#palestine should be free and israel should stop sieging gaza i dont know the things to say this is way out of my knowledge#trying to learn and understand the truth of everything#it feels wrong to not talk about this but i dont even know if i should i dont know theres so much i dont know#ok ill try not to delete it this time#i cant hide and keep everything to myself forever
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y’know if you asked me in 2008 i probably would have said that i didn’t think the u.s. was going to do, or enable somebody else to do, another genocide in my lifetime, and i certainly wouldn’t have thought the democrats would be the ones enabling it
well ha ha ha ha ha
#i feel like I’m losing my mind sometimes#i feel so powerless#like gaza is being wiped off the face of the earth and I’m just sitting here. I’m just sitting here.
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so, watched ep 1 of the atla live action and uhm, imagine not wanting one of your main characters to depict sexism because you believe it doesn’t read well in Current Times, so instead you double down on the character’s obsession towards leadership in order to give him that extra edge. but in order to make that work u have to make his sister quietly obedient instead of an outspoken leading presence that has the potential to overshadow him. because silencing a female character in order to write out a male character’s story arc of unlearning sexism is obviously a better and less sexist outcome.
#also the show made kyoshi say the opening of the show instead of katara cos apparently they’re obsessed with robbing katara of her voice#she’s literally just an entire different character and i cannot think of why except to make sokka look like a more prominent leader#which also goes entirely against sokka’s character trait of consistently feeling powerless#i don’t normally vent post about stuff like this but i’m just so baffled by this#atla#anna rambles#avatar the last airbender
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the responses i’ve seen to shiv’s ending seem very quick to write her off as just another sad victim of the cycle, which isn’t without truth BUT!!! that is not even remotely the summation of shiv’s story.
i don’t think she votes yes to “save kendall” or to try to finally set her brothers free. and i don’t think her main concern was that ken was becoming their dad. she absolutely noticed and didn’t love it, but that was not her motivation in betraying him. she was thinking about herself.
it’s tempting to make a martyr out of her as she is the only female child and we see her suffer the onslaught of misogyny that comes with that. but to make her into a saintlike figure who got beat takes away the power and intelligence behind her decision.
at this point she’s stuck between two non ideal choices, but she recognizes that they have accidentally made her the single most important player in the game. because while she can’t have the outcome she’d prefer, she has the power to decide the fates of everyone else. the written off lone woman now holds in her hands the fate of every man in her life.
so she thinks about the long term benefits of both options and realizes that one side leaves her completely without any leverage.
her brothers have proven to her multiple times in the last few days alone that they will cut her out and walk all over her the first chance they get. siding with them leaves her nothing to bargain with. she would just have to hope that ken would actually take care of her. and that level of vulnerability is not only unacceptable to her, it’s stupid. and shiv fuckin roy is not stupid.
so she thinks about the other side and about what she actually wants for her life. and against her better judgment, it’s becomes unfortunately clear that she wants tom. the way she wants him is not altogether loving or even good but it is necessary to her. she sees relationships as having winners and losers and she chose this man specifically so that she could be confident in her ability to win. except now he’s grown some balls and made himself unavailable to her.
she may not like the way her husband is evolving but she already placed her bets on him, so she’s sure as hell not losing to him now. there’s also a part of her that feels intrigued by this new man she’s married to. it’s interesting to have a sparring partner in him instead of having to looking for excitement outside of their marriage.
so for maybe the first time ever, she processes what tom has said to her and thinks about what he actually wants.
he needs her to prove that she cares. he needs to know that she is capable of sacrifice. if she can’t find it within herself to do this for him, then she will lose him, and by extension, she will lose.
siding with tom gives her the opportunity to once and for all make a grand-stand gesture of love, but more importantly, it creates leverage for her. never again will he be able to hold the moral high ground over her head. never again can he say she doesn’t love him. never again can he call her selfish or uncaring. above all, he can never betray her again, because she just removed all of his moral justification for turning on her. he doesn’t realize it yet, but she’s just taken back all the power in their relationship. just in a more subtle way than she’s used to operating.
and just like that, she has the ceo of a multi billion dollar company in her pocket, while situating herself as the only descendant of logan roy to still be playing the game, having removed her brothers from the equation permanently. she may still be far from the top but she’s creating a path for herself to climb.
so yes, she’ll let tom play king for a day, and she’ll have his baby and say “congratulations,” and play the gracious wife, but tomorrow is a new day with lots of room to maneuver. and when her husband puts out his hand, she’ll place her own on top. but she won’t grasp it because she doesn’t need to.
#🐺#shivy’s gonna be just fine#okay this ended up being a very long post but#i feel like someone needed to point out her wins#also i’m fully aware that remaining in the toxic world of the family business is not a win rly but#i think her ending is being interpreted as powerlessness#which it is NOT#she chose her spot. she’s calling shots#she may not have won today but she sure as hell didn’t lose#let’s not work so hard to sanctify her that we remove everything about her that makes her such a brilliant character#succession#shiv roy#siobhan roy#scn#tv
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The girls are plottinggggg
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wen chao#wang lingjiao#Realizing she was supposed to have an upper lip mole was a cold slap in the face. So sorry ma'am. I won't forget again.#They are evil dumbass 4 evil dumbass and I think we are all missing out on the sheer potential of the comedy between these two.#They have way too much power and are using it for the wrong reasons - which makes them truly great villains.#And when things don't go their way they become piles of whining sludge.#Wang Lingjiao is forever fascinating to me even though we only get crumbs about her.#She's a servant girl who's greatest asset is her beauty and her attractiveness.#Meaning she's had a life being in the gaze of people with significant positions of power over her.#I can't help but read her childishness and petty tantrums as someone who has finally been given the chance to not feel powerless.#If she was a more virtuous type we might 'like' her more but honestly...I don't think she would have survived to this point.#WLJ has only known power hierarchies her whole life. Probably accused of seduction before she even understood what that meant.#I love contrasting her with mianmian because they have similar(ish) backgrounds but different approaches to moving forwards#But WLJ's story is about flying too close to the sun and mianmian's is about going too close to the water.#Like the sea mist dragging her down into complacency - all the sect powerplays are mandatory to 'go along with' if she wants to climb-#-the social ladder. Yet she is the cautionary tale (and a foil to JGY as well) she leaves before sacrificing her own morals.#Mianmian flies away with her wings only slightly plucked while those who sacrificed everything to reach for the top crash and burn.
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