#i feel so abnormal about him

[orionis13]

I know it feels damn inhumane to lose this much

[cptnwynnie]

Some dbda doodles ^-^ love this show

[hiding-under-the-willow]

...

Alex Heath // ✨ // Melissa Broder // Haruki Murakami // ✨ // Tory Adkisson // ✨ // Richard Siken // Tennessee Williams // ✨ // Heather Havrilesky // ✨ // D.H. Lawrence // ✨ // Ruth Madievsky // ✨ // @.papayajuan2019 // Kerry Maniscalco // ✨ // James Baldwin // ✨ // Anaïs Nin

[puhpandas]

I think the reason beckory works well is that tony has a habit of getting self righteous and in his own head about things but Gregory isnt afraid to tell him off or call him out about things. the point of tony in ggy is that nobody ever told him that how hes treating other people isnt good, so that's why he got so bad. but tony would be close to Gregory and have every rational reason in the world to listen to Gregory so when he would say something like "you're treating ellis badly and that's not what a good friend does, you need to do better" hed actually listen and take it into account and improve himself

[digitalcarcrash]

thinking about alex being a hardcore pacifist pre-operator, yeah sure he's bitchy to everyone more often than not but Physically he wouldn't hurt a fly, only for him to wind up breaking one of his best friend's leg with a block of cement

[electrikworm]

Today I offer you: More of the same :) Also, happy pride month!

Taglist:

@yeehawgeek

[werchezdeeno]

aoughhhh argenti quest...how to be the most capable but cringefail at the same time? Hes the master at them simultaneously.

the way he rlly wanted to see wubbaboo 🥺

and i find his relationship with velite very...interesting. during the whole quest it felt like smth happened between them (?) Im not sure how to describe it. The thing abt hsr is time is only convenient to the story. Weeks will pass and the reader wont be informed. Exactly how many days were we in the sting or wtv it was? Definitely more than one day. I might have thought otherwise if velite was not part of the quest, but his behavior says more time has passed. He starts with annoyance than near the end feels affection towards Argenti. He talks as if they have gotten a lot closer over the course of the quest, which further soldified my thoughts. How much time passed from the events of the quest and Argenti's mssgs? Obviously quite a bit since Velite changed careers during this time and how Argenti helped.

Overall the quest was pretty cool, but it would've been so much better if they just added a scene like "___ days later..." or smth like that. Or "the next day". The timing kinda threw me off since it didnt take very long but felt as it should have.

But what himeko said at the end kinda made me sad for argenti. He's essentially looking for something that can't be found. Or maybe idrila can idk how aeons work.

[habeascorpseus]

thinks about "you would kill me?" "i would kill for you. never you," and cellbit's love language being destruction.

thinks about how cellbit will go to any length of self destruction for those he loves. thinks about him not sleeping for months, drinking coffee obsessively, until he's eventually too tired even to boil it and thus begins resorting to eating coffee beans, so he could keep himself sane. thinks about cellbit running from a bear with a chainsaw, and being forced to talk to him as a subordinate for months afterwards. thinks about him pushing people away so theyd let him destroy himself for the federation, unsure if the information he gathered would even be worth it. thinks about the slow death of the self, how much time one can spend running before they collapse from exhaustion, the love in demanding your family eat your corpse.

and then... thinks about outward destruction. thinks about broken trust in the form of an unusable xp machine. thinks about broken hearts in the form of custody battles. corpses with ciphers scribbled in blood left for long lost sisters who don't get it, not yet. badboyhalo describes cellbit pulling a knife on someone when he jokingly asks him to as less personal, and more like a dog being told to play fetch. thinks about him plunging into ravines and caves to kill bad's enemies as bad followed behind, being the first of them to die for bad's victory. thinks about "keep your hands clean." cats bring their owners dead birds out of concern for them being fed, cellbit brings enigmas and bodies because it's all the damage he can do. in a life shaped by violence, how else do you show loyalty than through a willingness to hunt for those who arent strong enough, to kill unthinkingly when they ask? it terrifies his family, but it's all he has left to give.

there are so many parallels between felps' kidnapping arc and the current one. the difference is in how many people are also at their breaking point and couldn't afford to see their rock crumbling. cellbit's mind was the bright light for every damn person on the server who had questions, and at this point, that number is all of them. and no matter where he looks, how much he wants to save them, there are no answers. there is no satisfying conclusion. if only he could go home at night and sleep soundly without thinking about the evidence of his failure to protect anyone resting beneath his feet. there are only more dead ends, more wheels, more humiliation, more degradation of his sanity as he's unable to sleep. his family has been picked off and the remainder have picked apart his corpse to scraps of marrow and flesh and are still starving, too terrified to hunt for themselves. what a blessing that cellbit's hands are already bloodied, and he's angry enough to tear apart the wardens for them to feast.

[frogaroundandfindout]

Dick telling Bruce that he refuses to keep denying that Bruce is a part of him and that he is proud to have been Robin (Teen Titans Spotlight #14)

[skitskatdacat63]

The brainrot this literal 2 second clip had given me is insane

[discountsoysauce]

Yall might have to bare with me on this one I'm not great at articulating my thoughts and although I'm neurodivergent I really don't have the proper terms to explain myself here

But like

Okay so it's very obvious that Eli is not neurotypical. I don't want to really get into specific diagnoses because I very much do not want to fall into the serial killer = mental disorder trope. It's a shitty trope and very harmful when handled poorly, especially with Cluster B personalities. Under no circumstances am I saying that Eli's mental condition is the cause of him being a serial killer. I am in fact trying to say the opposite.

TW for discussion of abuse and ableism

Basically, the crux of my argument lies with Eli's flashbacks in Vengeful, specifically when it comes to his father.

Eli mentions that the abuse started when he was around 9 years old because his father saw "the devil" in his eyes.

Eli's age at the time is very important. 9 years old. A literal child. Eli has done nothing wrong at this point aside from exist, and yet his father sees something wrong with him. It's possible that it was intended for Eli to have truly had some "evil" inside of him from the beginning, but it is far far more likely that Eli's father saw some kind of behavior out of the norm (we see that Eli was not a very expressive child. He had to learn all of those behaviors later on) and concluded that it hinted at some "hidden evil". We see those ideas reflected in our own society all the time, with apathy or lack of expression in face or vocal tone can be misconstrued or depicted as evil or heartless.

Eli was never evil or a bad kid. He was 9 years old. There was no devil in his eyes, he simply expressed himself in a way that was considered abnormal.

There's more I could say on this but I've run out of brain power. If anyone has any insight or ways they relate to Eli that they're comfortable talking about or even criticisms, I'm very open to discussion.

[laidback-thrills]

Uh, hello! Quick joke question for the AU; how does Jack feel about being orange and having his soul inside Dave?

"If I took it back, maybe he'd leave me the hell alone."

The soul thing...is a very delicate issue. He has a very mixed opinion, to say the very least.

[flugame-mp3]

what do you fucking mean that's how charlie dies. THAT'S HOW CHARLIE DIES??? i mean i know the show has a penchant for killing off every character who's not a winchester brother or an angel of thursday but good god. what the fuck. charlie was such a good and enjoyable recurring character, and she had such a fandom impact that i've seen, and she's only around for THREE SEASONS?? (sidebar: it's amazing she has the presence she does for only being around for a couple episodes in the long run!) but: was this necessary? and she just dies offscreen after her skills are utilized to progress the plot of decoding the book of the damned?? oh my god. what in the actual fuck. i'm finding myself getting genuinely very upset at her death. she did not fucking deserve that. and i can absolutely see why the fan response to her death is what it is now. completely fucking unjustified and throwaway and useless.

[javierduffy]

drabble about chapter 3 javieran late night discord (campfire) conversations because i love writing the turning point where javier finally lets himself start making moves 💔☹️

“so,” javier gestures with his bottle, the last quarter of it sloshing to get his conversation partner’s attention, “tell me about yourself.”

“oh, i’m…” kieran fiddles with his hands, pries his eyes away from javier’s bottle as the other man takes a swig of it. if he let himself look any longer, they’d end up on his lips. “i’m just me, sir. just kieran duffy. ain’t got much to tell.”

“mh.” javier grunts a reply, and kieran would think that’d be the end of it, if not for the bottle thrust at him to punctuate the response. he thinks javier is just tipsy enough not to be offering essentially backwash on purpose. he hopes it is a kind gesture. he takes it and a swig to boot. rather not be drinking with a man so pretty, but he’d rather not be one to resist one, neither.

“”just” you say. what makes you so little?” javier’s beginning to pop another beer open on his seat. without the light of the moon, the scout campfire now feels like a long, long way from the clemen’s point camp, and he now feels like no one in the world could hear his curiosity. like not a soul in this world around could accuse him of gentility.

kieran, taking the new bottle as an offer to keep the old one, finishes off his drink. shakes his head like it’s bitter. like he isn’t trying to pick apart which taste is the beer and which is javier. “i ‘unno. suppose- no one’s cared so much before. i feel so little, i can’t say i feel right justified in going around and advertising myself. plenty of interesting folk around, and they sure don’t look like me.” javier cocks an eyebrow.

for once since months ago in colter, dark brown eyes meet green, and they stay there. grass plants it’s roots in rich soil, and it feels like home. kieran can see javier’s eyes flicker to his lips, and he convinces himself it meant nothing. uproots himself and looks back at the fire.

javier lets his eyes roam kieran’s profile a bit- his long lashes, his hooked nose, his sunspots- and suddenly he really, really needs another drink. he’s parched. he mirrors the other man’s fixation on the fire with another swig. “can’t say any of us nowadays look too alike. not unless you get the privilege of being born in the city, with money. every man has his story. if you think it is a competition, maybe you should consider yourself lucky that you haven’t lived enough chaos to be “interesting”.”

kieran snorts, “you don’t know the half of it… sir.” he tacks the term messily onto the sentence, hoping it’ll be enough to keep javier from strangling him to death for his tone. instead, he turns to see javier with a wide smile, drooping eyes creasing like a canine with it’s fangs bared. it makes kieran feel cold- like prey who yearns for the warm embrace of his predator’s breath on his neck.

“tell me then. what makes you so interesting and me so ignorant?”

[frecklystars]

this man's sleeves are about to pop open and tear right off. he flexes and his shirt just fucking explodes

[mr-urple]

BRUDDA I AM NOT PROJECTING ON MY AU………….. HAHAHAH…… HAH…… Hah… 😞

Uh huh. Squints at you