#i feel so abnormal about him
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I know it feels damn inhumane to lose this much
#starchive#art tag#jrwi#jrwi bitb#rolan deep#i feel so abnormal about him#i have been listening to cicada days on repeat for weeks now and rotating him in my mind#enjoy sketchbook bs lmao#alcohol tw#i mean i guess#he is coping poorly but hey arent we all lmao
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Some dbda doodles ^-^ love this show
#dead boy detectives#dead boy detective agency#dbda#edwin payne#niko sasaki#crystal palace#crystal palace surname von hoverkraft#esther finch#monty finch#my art#“love this show I am feeling deeply abnormal about this show#is what I should’ve said#I’m going insane over it it’s SO good#I will draw Charles eventually cus I love him so much
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Alex Heath // ✨ // Melissa Broder // Haruki Murakami // ✨ // Tory Adkisson // ✨ // Richard Siken // Tennessee Williams // ✨ // Heather Havrilesky // ✨ // D.H. Lawrence // ✨ // Ruth Madievsky // ✨ // @.papayajuan2019 // Kerry Maniscalco // ✨ // James Baldwin // ✨ // Anaïs Nin
#atlas.art#i guess???#my art's in there whatever#web weaving#helsknight#likeahouseonfirefic#I have been collecting these little screenshots whenever I saw a good one for months so that I could put this together#at a time when I felt particularly abnormal about him#apparently that time is now#featuring a snippet of an illustration I can't post yet and the first ever sketch i did for the fic which I've never posted before i think#this is so different from what I usually post I feel a little weird putting it on this blog but whatever fuck it we ball#finding the sources for these quotes took so long 😭#long post
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I think the reason beckory works well is that tony has a habit of getting self righteous and in his own head about things but Gregory isnt afraid to tell him off or call him out about things. the point of tony in ggy is that nobody ever told him that how hes treating other people isnt good, so that's why he got so bad. but tony would be close to Gregory and have every rational reason in the world to listen to Gregory so when he would say something like "you're treating ellis badly and that's not what a good friend does, you need to do better" hed actually listen and take it into account and improve himself
#everyone in ggy is oblivious but gregory wouldnt be#hed be used to flawed people by being family with vanessa and freddy and best friends with cassie#and in turn tony#so when tony showcases traits of being flawed he cares about him and can look past them bc he knows tony is a good person#but he also keeps him in check when he goes too far#gregory who would fight someone so intensely he would be put in the hospital if someone insulted cassie:#tony you shouldnt resent ellis and say hes annoying just because he doesnt know all about this journalist from the 1920s#i think the concept of Gregory trying to be normal and live a normal life with 3 star fam and actively having to make it happen#is interesting#bc i feel like tony is so abnormal and has become disconnected from reality especially in a scenario where he lives after the ggy attack#that interacting wiht gregory whos so strange and interesting and mysterious but also has both feet rooted in the present and reality#would do him a lot of good#just make him finally take a step back and see the bigger picture and take a chill pill#also its ironic bc gregory is secretly in his head trying soo hard to be normal and do normal things#and it appears so effortless to Tony that it literally fixes him#i love thinking gregory and others relationships as Gregory not really doing anything but he still affects ppl so heavily#like gregory just existing and freddy developing a soul and sentience and finding a will to live and a purpose after dropping lead singer#gregory almost accidentally saving vanessa and just existing in her life being someone she wants to live for#giving her the motivation to get back up and eventually allowing her to heal enough to want to enjoy life by herself#Gregory doing nothing but being cassies friend and it changes her after a lifetime of abandonment#to the point where it makes her happy and fufilled and brings out the determination and bravery in her#and finally gregory with tony where him just being in tonys life not trying hard to help him out and change his way of seeing life#actually does the most to change his life and shows him that he can view things differently and that now#he finds that he WANTS to#pandas.txt#3 star fam#beckory#superstar duo#gregory#tony
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thinking about alex being a hardcore pacifist pre-operator, yeah sure he's bitchy to everyone more often than not but Physically he wouldn't hurt a fly, only for him to wind up breaking one of his best friend's leg with a block of cement
#he also kills them but that's not the point here#very im not a violent dog I don't know why I bite coded#I keep thinking about him breaking tim's leg. that scene is so good#it really feels like it comes out of no where bc I think#correct me if im wrong but I think its the first time we see alex Actually lay a hand on someone#and then the fact that masky is shown limping throughout the entire rest of the series#implying maybe it didn't heal right#so no matter what tim always has this reminder of the horrific Thing alex became under the operators influence#sorry im abnormal about alex kralie I see myself in him too much#alex kralie#tim wright#marble hornets#si yaps
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Today I offer you: More of the same :) Also, happy pride month!
Taglist:
@yeehawgeek
#tbb#tbb wrecker#the bad batch fanart#tbb fanart#my art#I don't know what it is about this guy that makes me feel so abnormal about him#I've never acted like this before...
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aoughhhh argenti quest...how to be the most capable but cringefail at the same time? Hes the master at them simultaneously.
the way he rlly wanted to see wubbaboo 🥺
and i find his relationship with velite very...interesting. during the whole quest it felt like smth happened between them (?) Im not sure how to describe it. The thing abt hsr is time is only convenient to the story. Weeks will pass and the reader wont be informed. Exactly how many days were we in the sting or wtv it was? Definitely more than one day. I might have thought otherwise if velite was not part of the quest, but his behavior says more time has passed. He starts with annoyance than near the end feels affection towards Argenti. He talks as if they have gotten a lot closer over the course of the quest, which further soldified my thoughts. How much time passed from the events of the quest and Argenti's mssgs? Obviously quite a bit since Velite changed careers during this time and how Argenti helped.
Overall the quest was pretty cool, but it would've been so much better if they just added a scene like "___ days later..." or smth like that. Or "the next day". The timing kinda threw me off since it didnt take very long but felt as it should have.
But what himeko said at the end kinda made me sad for argenti. He's essentially looking for something that can't be found. Or maybe idrila can idk how aeons work.
#argenti#hsr#honkai star rail#wubbaboo#hhh and not jade#rambling lol#IM SORRY HES JUST SO#AUGHEOSDJSJSNS#this quesr made me feel thinsg#hes just so FAIL#but still wows me#its amazinf#amazinf#amazing#very unique character#yes i am normal about him#of course i am#what makes u think otherwise...#not abnormal abt him in the slightest 😍😍😍#i kinda rlly wanna see velite again ngl#hes cool#the first npc i actually cared for lmao#but he went thru character development!!!#consumerism to slayism 🤩💅🙄#so many thoughts#this better not be the last time we see argenti#i swear to god if the only interaction with him is texts...#analysis era
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thinks about "you would kill me?" "i would kill for you. never you," and cellbit's love language being destruction.
thinks about how cellbit will go to any length of self destruction for those he loves. thinks about him not sleeping for months, drinking coffee obsessively, until he's eventually too tired even to boil it and thus begins resorting to eating coffee beans, so he could keep himself sane. thinks about cellbit running from a bear with a chainsaw, and being forced to talk to him as a subordinate for months afterwards. thinks about him pushing people away so theyd let him destroy himself for the federation, unsure if the information he gathered would even be worth it. thinks about the slow death of the self, how much time one can spend running before they collapse from exhaustion, the love in demanding your family eat your corpse.
and then... thinks about outward destruction. thinks about broken trust in the form of an unusable xp machine. thinks about broken hearts in the form of custody battles. corpses with ciphers scribbled in blood left for long lost sisters who don't get it, not yet. badboyhalo describes cellbit pulling a knife on someone when he jokingly asks him to as less personal, and more like a dog being told to play fetch. thinks about him plunging into ravines and caves to kill bad's enemies as bad followed behind, being the first of them to die for bad's victory. thinks about "keep your hands clean." cats bring their owners dead birds out of concern for them being fed, cellbit brings enigmas and bodies because it's all the damage he can do. in a life shaped by violence, how else do you show loyalty than through a willingness to hunt for those who arent strong enough, to kill unthinkingly when they ask? it terrifies his family, but it's all he has left to give.
there are so many parallels between felps' kidnapping arc and the current one. the difference is in how many people are also at their breaking point and couldn't afford to see their rock crumbling. cellbit's mind was the bright light for every damn person on the server who had questions, and at this point, that number is all of them. and no matter where he looks, how much he wants to save them, there are no answers. there is no satisfying conclusion. if only he could go home at night and sleep soundly without thinking about the evidence of his failure to protect anyone resting beneath his feet. there are only more dead ends, more wheels, more humiliation, more degradation of his sanity as he's unable to sleep. his family has been picked off and the remainder have picked apart his corpse to scraps of marrow and flesh and are still starving, too terrified to hunt for themselves. what a blessing that cellbit's hands are already bloodied, and he's angry enough to tear apart the wardens for them to feast.
#habeas speaks#qsmp cellbit#cellbit#i have so many thoughts on autocannibalism and love#i have even more thoughts on death as a love language#evidently there are people who dont share the same Romanticism but it's what he's good at and all he can do#and at the very least they will keep their hands clean for now#the see you on the battlefield kind of shows how frustrated he is in feeling like his anger is solitary#after months of hunting you might as well start feeding him back you cant rely on his anger to burn incessantly#sorry. im abnormal about him
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Dick telling Bruce that he refuses to keep denying that Bruce is a part of him and that he is proud to have been Robin (Teen Titans Spotlight #14)
#dick and Bruce#god they make me sick#dick about to walk away before turning back and deciding to confront the situation and talk#dick acknowledging his history with Bruce and the impact it had on him#telling Bruce that even though he’s Nightwing now his name still reflects Bruce#THE RESPECT#THE LOVE#THE ACCEPTANCE#but also the grief#and hurt#with dicks little I’m not even sure if he has feelings anymore#and how he says that again to TIM after Jason dies#still so unsure about Bruce#just fuck me with a chainsaw already#it’d hurt less than thinking about these two#Batman#HIS LITTLE SMILE AT THE END#JUST LIKE IN BATMAN 416 WHERE HES LIKE THANKS DICK#FUUUUUUCK#THEY ARE SO FUCKING ABNORMAL I HATE THAT I LOVE THEM
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The brainrot this literal 2 second clip had given me is insane
#(tumblr deleted all my tags so unfortunately they wont be as unhinged as my og tags but)#AAAHHHHHHHH THE WAY IS SEB IS LOOKING AT HIM IN THE THIRD PIC I CANT I CANT#SO TENDER IM ABSOLUTELY INSANE ABT IT#this hug is probably my top martian moment ever i literally cant get over it#i just obsess over saving every single angle of it i can find#but the thing abt the photos of it is that you can mostly rly only see mark's fond expression#so to see the way seb is looking up at him...im just still so unwell about it#the typical paddock one hand bro hug but they're literally so close together and curled into each other#martian one handed hugs always ended up w their clasped hands tucked in btwn their bodies and im just so abnormal abt it#the way seb's shoulder is tucked into mark's chest...mark's hand grasping his neck...the way seb is clutching his arm...their clasped hands#i needed to post this to get it out of my system bcs every time i glance at it in my camera roll i just end up staring at it for 5 mins#as i said i feel like every pic of this is just completely permanently burned into my brain#i still cant believe mark posted a pic of this hug hes just like me fr ;;;;#mark webber#sebastian vettel#sebmark#martian#2010 monaco gp#f1#formula 1#(i will eventually make this vid my header im just very lazy abt it)
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Yall might have to bare with me on this one I'm not great at articulating my thoughts and although I'm neurodivergent I really don't have the proper terms to explain myself here
But like
Okay so it's very obvious that Eli is not neurotypical. I don't want to really get into specific diagnoses because I very much do not want to fall into the serial killer = mental disorder trope. It's a shitty trope and very harmful when handled poorly, especially with Cluster B personalities. Under no circumstances am I saying that Eli's mental condition is the cause of him being a serial killer. I am in fact trying to say the opposite.
TW for discussion of abuse and ableism
Basically, the crux of my argument lies with Eli's flashbacks in Vengeful, specifically when it comes to his father.
Eli mentions that the abuse started when he was around 9 years old because his father saw "the devil" in his eyes.
Eli's age at the time is very important. 9 years old. A literal child. Eli has done nothing wrong at this point aside from exist, and yet his father sees something wrong with him. It's possible that it was intended for Eli to have truly had some "evil" inside of him from the beginning, but it is far far more likely that Eli's father saw some kind of behavior out of the norm (we see that Eli was not a very expressive child. He had to learn all of those behaviors later on) and concluded that it hinted at some "hidden evil". We see those ideas reflected in our own society all the time, with apathy or lack of expression in face or vocal tone can be misconstrued or depicted as evil or heartless.
Eli was never evil or a bad kid. He was 9 years old. There was no devil in his eyes, he simply expressed himself in a way that was considered abnormal.
There's more I could say on this but I've run out of brain power. If anyone has any insight or ways they relate to Eli that they're comfortable talking about or even criticisms, I'm very open to discussion.
#there's also the argument to be made that Eli's quieter less expressive demeanor was a result of his trauma#and him having to learn how to mask by watching the kids around him could be less from neurodivergency and more from being isolated#and thats a completely valid and reasonable discussion#i feel like theres a lot of discussions that could be had about Eli#regarding ableism and religion and abuse and trauma and the dangers of predjudice and cycles of abuse#im definitely not the most qualified to talk on this#so if i get anything wrong feel free to correct me#but i am of the firm belief that there was nothing “wrong” with Eli before the abuse started#whether the reason was that Eli acted “abnormally” or that his father was just just doing what he did because he's a pos#vicious ve schwab#vengeful ve schwab#villains series#eli ever#eli cardale#vicious#vengeful
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Uh, hello! Quick joke question for the AU; how does Jack feel about being orange and having his soul inside Dave?
"If I took it back, maybe he'd leave me the hell alone."
The soul thing...is a very delicate issue. He has a very mixed opinion, to say the very least.
#my stuff#dsaf cult au#cw gore#tw gore#ig? its censored to high hell and is an abnormal color#this one took way too long#sobs#jack is too emotionally constipated to say how he feels about that#but ohh boy#is it fucking gay#he feels liberated by the lack of it but also feels like he's had a part of him stolen (yeah)#blackjack i'm so sorry this is so whack#he hates that he has it but also likes it#feels right and wrong at the same time#suddenly i became homophobic /j /ref#dsaf#davesport
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what do you fucking mean that's how charlie dies. THAT'S HOW CHARLIE DIES??? i mean i know the show has a penchant for killing off every character who's not a winchester brother or an angel of thursday but good god. what the fuck. charlie was such a good and enjoyable recurring character, and she had such a fandom impact that i've seen, and she's only around for THREE SEASONS?? (sidebar: it's amazing she has the presence she does for only being around for a couple episodes in the long run!) but: was this necessary? and she just dies offscreen after her skills are utilized to progress the plot of decoding the book of the damned?? oh my god. what in the actual fuck. i'm finding myself getting genuinely very upset at her death. she did not fucking deserve that. and i can absolutely see why the fan response to her death is what it is now. completely fucking unjustified and throwaway and useless.
#theo.txt#spn#charlie#spn spoilers#spn 10x21#almost none of the women who've gotten fridged on this show have deserved it but still#good god this one made me especially angry#why do you use this character for a plot point and then ship her off somewhere. to oz or to the afterlife. so often?#she was such a cool character with a good story that i enjoyed and related to and THIS is what they did with her?? and from my perusing she#doesn't even really come back like bobby occasionally does?? and his death. while devastating to me as somebody who really liked him. still#felt WAY better than this#sorry i ended that episode with my jaw on the fucking FLOOR oh my god. /neg#what did she have to die for? where is that post about female characters dying so male characters can feel sad but it's a gifset of all the#bullshit ass deaths of women on supernatural#i love the show fucking obviously but jesus h christ.#but also you know what. having the context that i have. still a fucked up thing to say but i see why dean says That to sam now during#charlie's funeral. it IS an interesting look into how they respond to the other one violating their wishes/freedoms and into their larger#dynamic actually! but thats not what this post is really about#wow. i am actually livid. poor fucking charlie.#if she was like a sister to the winchesters how about you bring her back huh? how about you revive her? jesus christ#i wonder what her heaven is like. i hope its dnd and movie night with the girls#i took a little break mid-typing this to see if i was just being insane and angry but no the super wiki has a whole section about the fan#outrage at charlie's death and the discussions it furthered about the show's misogynistic tendencies#and you know what? good!#ok anyway. im going to go browse charlie art and feel abnormal now.#supernatural#charlie bradbury
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this man's sleeves are about to pop open and tear right off. he flexes and his shirt just fucking explodes
#love notes#love notes: ignacio ♡#💕♬♪ ♥ You stole my heart before anyone knew you had it - ̗̀˚₊·🐍🎱🌹˚₊· ̖́-#[jesse pinkman voice] YEAH BITCH!!! LOVE NOTES!!!!#oh my goddd let me be abnormal about him please#add another bald man to the roster fellas#first it was marco and leonel then it was mike then it was saul (he's balding. it counts)#now it's this rattlesnake lookinass slithery motherfucker stealing my heart#it wasnt at first sight either it TOOK him TWO MONTHS#i was terrified of him#until there was a scene where he was angry and he COULD HAVE lashed out#BUT HE DIDNT. HE HAD SELF CONTROL#he calmed himself down and took deep breaths and talked rationally#and he protects innocents if he's able to. and he feels remorse when he can't.#and he cares so much for his father bc to him his father is the purest kindest soul#and i just absolutely fell so hard. so SLOWLY though. he snuck up on me#but he's a thief isn't he? at least in one episode? 🥰 how fitting#i love violent criminals with the capacity to have a soft spot. for ANYTHING#it helps me feel safer with them and like the old me#youre supposed to look at a villain and know in ur heart that ur the exception and they'd protect u#and im slowly learning that again even tho its so damn hard#but this guy!!! and marco!!! and leonel!!! i just KNOW they're my ride or die#the actors telling me that in person and in cameo sure helps though sdlfjslkfdsf#oh god i need to tell you guys something really cool that happened to me with marco's actor this week#when i get the chance!!!
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BRUDDA I AM NOT PROJECTING ON MY AU………….. HAHAHAH…… HAH…… Hah… 😞
Uh huh. Squints at you
#I feel like this au is gonna be about how a guy who’s seen as weird and abnormal goes to a place for “freaks” like him#But then realizes that these are his people and being a freak isn’t so bad#Idk#i just#i really feel like you’re projecting at least somewhat kfjjaksjaj#purple.txt [👾]#atomic bomb [⚛️🧪]
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I feel like these next two weeks are just gonna be a slow descent into madness for me
#HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO HANDLE THIS#I AM SO UNPREPARED#BUT ALSO#AAAAAAAAAAA I WANT IT SO BAD#GAH#bs.txt#personal#I'm trying so so hard to be normal about it/be normal about him but I'm NOT it's all a FARCE I'm SO ABNORMAL ABOUT IT/HIM#it's been so long since I've been /excited/ by someone. it almost feels unreal#keep your cool josie omfg be cool be COOL
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