#i feel mean and ugly today

[nonbinarypussy]

My plug won’t text me back i woke up and chose violence now I have to find a way to be a normal person with a normal brain let’s seeee hmmmm

[shellxrls]

so often i think about how when rafe gets fucked, he lets it happen like a burden. like it’s genuinely painful for someone to want to entangle themselves so intimately within him. like he isn’t all muscled limbs and sharp cheekbones and pink lips, something grotesque and gnarly instead. he has an inclination to hide his face: under a sinewy forearm, pushed into a sweaty pillow. mute his voice completely. he would erase his own existence if the pleasure he was feeling wasn’t so palpable, and his passive reception any less than tolerated— usually another hand coming to knock his own forearm away, or tugging at loose brown strands to pull his head up, oppress a reaction out of him even if it’ll make him cry afterwards.

[sadlynotthevoid]

I'm not sure if I told you guys about the time I dreamed that 20ish Jason Todd died yet again and Death was pissed off because "really? Again? Wtf Batman. The universe doesn't keep reviving your son just so you can see how much he lasts!" And "He has a work to do you know?!". Besides, she's fond of the bright young soul.

So, she calls her uncle to help him. And what you know? Her uncle is the God of Death (because yes, my brain is like that sometimes). They sit to talk and come up with a solution.

First, taking advantage of the effects still present of the last time-space crisis and the spirits protecting the soul, they regress the time of this universe to when Jay had just left All Caste, way before he had came back to Gotham.

Then, Death places Red Hood!Jason's memories on the soul of his younger self. Not too harsh to force his soul to crack, but not too light to let them fall. Just deep enough so he finds them when he meditates.

And by last, God of Death tells the spirits where they should guide the boy to. The perfect place for him.

Where is the best place for a soul who craves for home and safety? Of course, that's with someone who has the heart to care and accept a new loved one and the determination to protect them.

That's how Jason Todd, teenage assassin in an existential crisis, ends up waking up in the softest bed he has ever been in some foreign country. At his side there's a redhead teen sitting in a sofa, a book in his hands and other boy— this one with black hair and pajamas— lying on his lap.

The redhead— Cale, as he presents himself— is mysterious but kind hearted guy. He also knows things. So much so that if he weren't as he is, Jason would suspect. As things are, he knows he's just used to collect information. A bit like a bat, but not quite. A bat would plan how to use it against the possible enemy. Cale? Well, he doesn't even bother to hide what he realized about him. He's also ridiculously casual about it.

Who offers an assassin if they want their hidden weapons back? This guy, apparently.

Jason only knows he's not totally unconscious because at one point an old guy entered with tea and pastries for the three and Cale, the little shit, choose that moment to reassure Jason.

"Don't worry. My butler is an assassin too and we don't treat him different for it."

The old geezer almost let got the porcelain teapot to the floor. Though, points for him for recovering so fast.

"Young master? May this Ron know who you would be talking about?"

"Hm? Who do you think? Hans? The only thing he can kill is Rok Soo's humor. It's you, obviously."

"..."

Rok Soo, the sleeping beauty complex guy pretending to be asleep on Cale's lap, was sweating badly. If everyone in the room weren't already aware he was clearly pretending, someone may had thought he was ill.

Later on, he realizes there was a reason Cale had said that at that moment.

He's looking at the butler subtly terrorize the boys to behave, treating the siblings like two particularly mischievous puppies. Then he turns around and uses the same tune to advise him to be careful with his wounds. And that's when he thinks 'Oh. He doesn't see me as a menace'.

Of course he doesn't. His employer just confirmed he's aware of his identity— at least partially— and his own nature. The biggest advantage of an assassin is their secrecy. After their identity is exposed, the only reason they won't attack is if the assassin believes the risk is worthy. Telling the assassin he knows he's an assassin was his way to show Jason's own intentions: none.

Jason didn't intend to end up in that field where these teens find him. He didn't intend to be brought in their vacation house. He definitely didn't plan that the people to found him passed out would be whoever these rich guys were.

But he didn't have anything against all of this either.

Well, maybe the wound. He could make it without the blood loose and the soon-to-be scar to add to his collection.

Either way, at least he had a safe place to stay and think. Just think. Because, the memories he saw— what is he supposed to do now that he has his answer?

His da— Bruce. Bruce didn't care for him as much as Jason does for Bruce. Bruce obviously didn't love him as he thought. And certainly, Bruce was way more willingly to harm him than he believed.

And Jason— well, Jason couldn't waste a second life on a man who didn't put hin even at the same level than the Joker of all people. But maybe his expectatives were too high? He hadn't planned what to do if his life was meaningless to him.

So, Jason needed time. Time to ponder and heal. Those things are better done in a safe place.

That's what Jason has in mind when Cale offers him to stay with them.

[sleepinginmygrave]

sigh i hate art snobs sm

[visceravalentines]

I know we've reached critical mass with my the passenger obsession bc I'm at the point of thinking my favorite thing about the movie is the hopefulness scattered throughout. the way Randy hopes again and again that Benson won't hurt him and might actually help him. the way Benson hopes he really might be able to save this kid from himself. the point they reach where, just for a little bit, they both hope they have more time. the hopefulness of Randy trying to do the right thing, trying to save everybody. the hope of a little kid who wants to be a giraffe someday. the hardest part of the movie is when everything becomes bleak but it tries, at the very end, to be hopeful again. maybe Randy can still live for both of them, which is all Benson ever hoped for in the first place.

[forwomenbiwomen]

You know after finding radical feminism, and engaging with the theory seriously, I understand now what it means to be empowered. In the genuine, legitimate way. I feel like an actual human being, an actual animal, with actual thoughts and feelings that are HEARD. And UNDERSTOOD. By so many women of whom I was taught to dismiss and scorn.

Like I stopped shaving a few weeks ago. I feel empowered to do that, having been given the tools to stand up against the glares and the snide comments.

I stopped wearing makeup a few months ago. I felt empowered to do that, realising that my actual human face is worth something more than a decoration.

I started eating well and working out. I felt empowered to do that, having come to the realisation that I'm a human being with thoughts and desires and what the fuck was I doing with my life if I wasn't becoming the buff, athletic, energetic woman I dreamed about becoming as a child.

All of these things are not offered by liberal feminism. All of these things are sidelined as a choice that some women...."you know the type"..... did when they were scared and angry and stupidly lashing out at the poor men and their 'simple expectations for women's hygiene'. BULLSHIT.

I'm working on grounding myself in my own pov, one that isn't an invisible male audience. I'm arming myself with the knowledge to fight back against anti-feminist movements, and how to identify them. I'm working on centring women, and thinking critically about my own actions in relation to ALL of this.

How the fuck have I missed all of this for the majority of my life. I am a HUMAN BEING???????!? NOT A DECORATION????!?!?!???? Literally mind blowing, and

I never noticed it until now????????.

Every woman in my life is traditionally feminine. I believe they will shun me for being an extremist if I express my anger at the patriarchy. Idk but if this is extreme what the fuck is normal. Who made this up. When can I kill him 😭

[mwagneto]

"how are you" this morning i was gonna go to uni in the extreme depression fit of pj shirt + shorts + slides and nothing else but then i saw a gif of ed and i was like no he'd want me to slay even if i'm sad. so i put on a little outfit and now i'm normal. so tldr it's fucking dire

[chiropteracupola]

the amount of time I spend on tumblr dot com has given me quite the set of standards when it comes to artworks on the theme of 'Trans Angel', and actual museums are failing to meet those standards quite spectacularly.

[derpinette]

whenever a guy approaches me i start wishing i had a giant forehead tattoo that reads "I AM NOT & WILL NEVER EVER BE INTERESTED LEAVE ME ALONE PERMANENTLY" so i could flash it at them

[ningningkittie]

🦨

[fandom-fae]

why is there no actually good music app :/

like i’m using apple music and most of it works okay but the search function sucks so bad and i considered switching to spotify a while ago so i tried that out for a bit but holy shit the user interface sucks so much. the only good thing there are the user created playlists

and why youtube music and amazon music suck is obvious probably lol

[hairydykecunt]

i have this weird thing where i want ppl to be really nice to me and pet me and etc but like, i know that’s not possible, at least for me, cause no ones ever gonna see me as a cat. i’m just some guy asking for attention, not this cat you spotted and wanna call over, i am just never gonna feel as innocent as i want to. it hurts so fucking bad

[luminiera-merge]

i think my tolerance for moe (ie the anime stuff) is in freefall rn

[illogicalghost]

you know what? im hot actually. fuck it. im done with the self loathing bullshit. im hot, and i should start acting like it.

[bo0zey]

anyone else ever get in those silly goofy moods where u just hate urself sooo much that u instantly feel physically almost violently ill just thinking abt urself and also even tho u worked a 12hr shift w no breaks or water running off of the 2 cups of coffee u had for breakfast 20 hours ago, the thought of eating instantly sends bouts of nausea coursing thru ur soul while churning in ur stomach bc ur brain hates u so much that its convinced ur body that u don’t deserve sustenance or anything else that’s life sustaining or promotes ur physical well being because u subconsciously convinced urself that ur such a shit excuse for a human being that u neither deserve nor have any right to anything regarding maslow’s hierarchy of needs bc u r such an awful thing u deserve to be neglected n treated like the nonliving object ur own brain sees ur living body as or am i just mentally ill lol

[paldeanbooper]

HEY.... you're amazing. alr? alr.