#i feel like yesterday was a year ago and that feeling is just. idk. i haven't felt it in a while which is prob why i love it sm
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the---hermit · 3 days ago
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03|05|2025
The original plan for today was to fix the notes I took during this week's lectures, but since the professor has not shared her ppts yet I didn't do that. I mostly need to read what she had in her presentations, because there were a lot of direct historical sources and I couldn't get all the useful infos down. I will be doing that on Monday morning before going to the lecture, if she has shared the material by that time. The next best thing would have been to start writing down notes for everything I read yesterday, but I was in the mood to read in the morning, so I decided to continue with that task. I don't think I'll struggle too hard to write notes down even if I have to go back. Additionally I really need to work with whatever kind of motivation I have in the moment. So even if it makes less sense compared to how I normally study I am trying to listen to myself a bit more, both when I need breaks, as well as when deciding what tasks I feel like I can work on.
today's tasks:
continued reading and underlining the book on Magellan
made little cards for each one of the ships that took part in the exploration, that way I can have a visual representation of who is doing what (it just makes more sense for my brain to have a visual, which is also why I am using a map to track the journey as i read about it. I plan on adding informations on the ship cards as I continue, updating who the captain is, and what individual explorations they do also I really like doodling ships idk why lmao)
listened to the first episode of re:dracula (oh, how I missed our dear friend jonathan harker) and also dracula's guest (I had read the short story year ago but I did not remember it at all, and I really liked this adaptation)
Irish on duo
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sarumint · 2 years ago
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pop!
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seaofreverie · 6 months ago
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I knew about the post concert depression but no one told me about the post concert constant feeling of AAAAAAAAAHHH that lasts days and makes everything much more bearable and beautiful and some sort of ethereal type of hope is restored into the world, or maybe it's just the "seeing your favourite band after first thinking that it would never happen and later spending many months waiting for it all the while fearing that it wouldn't happen after all because of circumstances outside my control or feeling like it was too beautiful and wonderful to be true so ofc it wouldn't come true" part of it all
#guys i love they might be giants. did you know about this#me days before the show: crying because i will see they might be giants#me days after the show: crying because i saw they might be giants#truth is that i didn't actually full on cry until yesterday evening though so once i was back home so it was all officially over#and it was time to just slow down and realize that oh well wow. so all that just happened. like for realsies#i also finally looked through my videos and my recording of the whole show (yes as an archivist freak who records audio from most concerts#i obviously had to record this one also. now i can listen to it again and again and be remided that i didn't dream it all up after all)#but yeah all this and now i'm supposed to move on and go back to my stupid daily life#like i didn't just have one of those real actual life experiences and moments of pure fun that other people generally get from time to time#and that i haven't had since idk even when a year and a half ago#thats the last time i consider truly amazing on a level somewhat comparable to this. but back to the show and the whole thing.#like this wouldn't have been quite as perfect if i didn't share that time with fellow fans / friends that i ended up attending the show wit#you don't realize how badly you've been wanting to be included in things and for people to be genuinely fond of you and like your company#until you get included and shown that fondness. like wow i'm allowed to have fun too after all. can it happen again someday please. anyway#i'm just glad that in midst of my big bad awful times i could have this truly amazing 10/10 time#and i guess it doesn't have to be the last such time right. even if it's easy to give into the feeling that it is#but ok anyway i'll get to that proper show recap later when i can think clearly again#and maybe more on that more personal side of it all too because well i have many more thoughts obviously#but whether i get to that in 3 days or 3 months is a mystery for now. just kind of a lot to think about once again#and my stupid baka life continues on also whether i like it or not so that has to be taken into consideration as well#time to think again about school that i'm so totally fully failing now with my two weeks long absence yayyy. its fine i'll figure it all out#goosepost
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matteoberrettini · 4 months ago
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the REAL tragedy of having my phone stolen is that i'm gonna have to rebuild my meme folder from scratch 😔😔😔😔
#i swear i'm going to back up shit regularly on my new phone. learned the hard way that saying “i'll do it at some point” for 2 years#is gonna bite me in the ass if shit happens#jokes aside (i need those to cope) yesterday i literally started crying so hard on the bus home after it got stolen#bc i realised i had like over 1500 pics of my cat who passed away last december and most of them were only on my phone#and the thought of having lost so many memories of him makes me feel so so so so devastated#i'm going to ask my mum to let me find all the pics of him i've sent her on whatsapp over the years bc i did use to send them to her often#as i do with our new cat#and i'll also look thru like discord#i know i posted quite a few pics of him on tumblr when he passed away and in the months after but my old blog is no more :/#there could be some on here/my main i have now so i'll check if i can find them but yeah#it's maybe dumb bc like it's not as if pictures are everything he'll always be in my heart regardless!!! but. my memory is not the best#with like... idk life memories slip away from me very easily which is very very scary so i cling onto pictures a bit to be able to remember#so yeah. i'm sad about this. and not just my cat like i had concert photos and videos i had a ton of things! like as an example i had#a folder with nice words my friends have said to me like nice things they've said about me. and i stopped updating it a long time ago#it didn't have A LOT of screenshots but it did have some and they were very dear to me#idk. i swear. i'll back up everything from now on lmao#sorry for going on about this btw. i'm so tired i don't even feel like watching tennis or whatever lol#ik this is supposed to be my sports blog and you guys follow me for that instead i talk about all these things that aren't sports lol
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connormoving · 5 months ago
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i think itis funny in the past when i would list my interests as if i post abt them i donot post abt the shit im into rly Mainly bc im not rly Into Into anything anymore i occasionally watch or read or play something but i dont do fandom stuff rly much.... just sometimes i get brainworms
#do i still list my interests somewhere i dont knowwww#i just stopped rly being into fandom a few years ago combination depression antipathy + bad experiences in fandom spaces#but idk. me listing my interests didnt rly accomplish anything for anyone bc it was just like anddd just so you know i was crazy abt this#video game for a rly long time it probably wont ever come up again but it might maybe one day. yk. ig its just sharing info Which is one#supposes the point of all of this but idk#its not that im cagey abt my interests except that one which i cant talk abt publically bc its a triple a game and im embarassed abt it. no#anything bad im just embarrassed . its not anything any of my oomfies have ever posted abt either so its just for me. and lamp . and when#the third game comes out i might post very very very vaguely abt it ......... possibly.#but ya its like. idk i think you guys have to find out abt my plague tale obsession on your own through lived experience. aka just me seein#like the word king and randomly collapsing to the floor and going KING HUGO 😭😭😭😭😭 oh god hugo guys oh god . please play plague tale#i wish i had finished that tw thing i started making but then i got too focused on the color palette and making it look nice and i stopped.#umm tw child death animal death The plague some gorey stuff theres some cult things in the second game ummm. yeah ..... its rly special to#me tho i love those games PLAY PLAGUE TALE!!! and if u need more indepth tws ill give them to you even if i have to replay both games to#refresh my memory... lamp wont play plaguetale with me (not their speed) so im all alone </3 but i miss it i might replay soon... i wish i#was in like discord servers so i could play it on call w ppl or something <- is in discord servers but is shy and Also i feel like playing#game on call is like a level like 2 friendship thing and i cant even do level 1 friendship things like i feel i need to at least be talking#regularly in a server b4 i like try to do Calls in the server esp for plague tale bc its like a 1p game so wed need a rapport to like have#shit to talk abt and etc ..... i could just infodump abt the game but again i feel doing that to like strangers/oomfies would b weird. ik i#come on here and talk abt whatever i want but its like you guys dont Have to read this and its not like a server where Yeah im not talking#to one person but im still like Oh well ive sent a message and its in the channel and everybody just has to look at it and whatever.#but on here i post i nobody cares and it just gets pushed down and its Fine bc its not like anybody has to feel obliged to respond#which is fine. you know.. i just hate being like a nuisance i hate . idk how to phrase. imposing myself on others ig.. which is dumb bc the#i turn around and whine abt how i have no friends and its like Maybe that is bc you donot talk to anyone bc yr scared they will be annoyed#with you and you dont leave the house and have no interests to bond with ppl and etc. but basically the difference is ive written all this#and you guys can just not read it or you can just read it and ignore it and its different. even tho i am like addressing you and i do have#like. weird parasocial thing with My followers or whatever where i talk directly to you YES YOU! reading this. IDKK im rambling so much i#dont know what im talking abt anymore. i proooooobably need to go to sleep im hungry tho but im not but i am. but i think my sleep is getti#off schedule again i had trouble sleeping yesterday too... ugh
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steviescrystals · 1 year ago
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i am experiencing emotions rn and idk what they are :)
#so i got laid off in march and i have not shut up about it since bc it was a horrible experience and i’m still upset about it#and quite literally the only place i wanted to work after that wasn’t hiring at the time but they said to check back in the summer#so i just started picking up extra shifts at my second job bc i’d rather wait on this place than apply to places i have no interest in#then end of april i get a call from this girl i met at my old job saying she got fired#we were super close last year and then our friendship got super weird and tense when she suddenly became my boss#and tbh i’m not at all surprised she got fired bc as much as i like her as a person she was not at all qualified to be running that business#but anyway we’ve been talking more lately than we have in the past couple months#and i was thinking our friendship could maybe go back to normal now that neither of us works there anymore#BUT now i’m feeling super weird like idk if i’m uncomfortable or annoyed or what i’m just feeling put off#bc the place i wanted to work finally started hiring a couple weeks ago and i applied and interviewed last week#and yesterday i got the job which i’m super excited about#and this friend just sent me a screenshot of her rejection letter for the exact same job at the same location#like am i crazy or is it justified to be weirded out by that??#why would you apply for the same exact job as me and not even tell me until after you get rejected#and i know she knows i applied bc i’ve been talking about it nonstop with all my friends#like i’m so confused#it’s not even about the fact that she could’ve potentially gotten chosen over me it’s just weird that she didn’t tell me she was applying#i’ve literally been talking about this job since before they were even hiring like as soon as i got laid off i said i wanted to work here#she didn’t get fired until almost 2 months after that so she wasn’t looking for a job until a couple weeks ago#so i can’t think of any scenario where it would make sense for her to just not mention this to me#idk someone please tell me if this is weird or not bc idk how to respond to her rn#lj.txt
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twinklingwatermellon · 1 year ago
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Hmm
#pondering#I can’t believe it’s been a year since I gave up on my last crush#it seems like so long ago I feel like I’ve lived eight lifetimes since then#but it also feels like just yesterday#and yet I feel so…. distant from him#I mean I also never see him anymore#the only reason I did then is because I’d seek him out#and even then….#idk what I’m trying to say#just that things change#and myself of two years ago would be amazed#that I’m able to have a normal life and think about him minimally and painlessly#because two years ago I was in the DUMPS#I went through this intense phase where I just felt like I *had* to be with him and got to the point where I’d just cry out of fear that#that I’d die before I got a chance to make him fall in love with me#it was so bad I was so paranoid and lovesick and and and.. ough#I still remember that night so well#it was also a Wednesday like today and it had been an awful day and I had a headache#and I just thought. I can’t take this anymore. where are we even going. he’s never going to notice me never#i GIVE UP#it was mostly an impulse but looking back I’m so glad I followed that particular impulse#it’s like when Edmund walked out of Mary’s house not because he was super resolved but more on an impulse of the moment#just felt like the thing to do. and I may have regretted it once or twice afterwards but in the end it absolutely WAS the right call#and a couple months later YOU-KNOW-WHO showed up#absolutely insane events happening to me last year.#but now ​I feel like the girl from that one video#“girl who is going to be okay” djdjdhdh#but really! I will be!#and I am even! just taking it one day at a time#elly's posts
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bangcakes · 1 year ago
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chisungie · 7 months ago
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#??? last time i had mcds and timmys iced coffee i hated it i know for sure bc i had it more than once and my opinion was the same#but yesterday i got mcds vanilla iced and today timmys and both are fine??? i could drink these again 🤔#like my other go to is the flavoured cold brews at timmys like roasted hazelnut (gone sob sob) or tiramisu#and only bc sometimes id prefer proper liquid coffee instead of. iced cap.#but like. yeah. it doesnt have me going bLEGHH after multiple sips so somethings changed :o!#def a good thing though bc i needed caffeine and not an iced cap today.. girl im literally going to fall asleep on the way home#(hopefully im wrong)#44597#and ig i could get free coffee at work but they only start opening up the snack bar at the same time i clock in and if ppl come in#then i gotta go work so. id rather just have it rn bc im early anyway🥲#ALSO COFFEE DOESNT USUALLY MAKE ME FEEL ANY MORE AWAKE THAN BEFORE. whats up w that!!!#everyone jokes the coffee or iced cap is gonna keep me awake at night then i pass out faster than everyone else like!!#there are some times a few years ago where i had this coffee at a viet restaurant and oh my GOD#drank a good amnt of it at once. got out of there and my heart was pounding??? 😭#but i also barely drank any coffee then and i drink more now so idk 🤔 crazy heart rate didnt usually happen before#nd doesnt rn but i dont usually drink strong coffee.. i think... 🤔#but yeah sometimes that shit doesnt really pick me up at all but like. cope. im literally gonna fall asleep if i dont try smn 😭
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genderdog · 11 months ago
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chat is it normal to feel completely desensitized to feeling constantly sick that when you’re actually sick you feel like it’s not enough to warrant it
#due to long covid or possibly weed usage or a mixture honestly still very unsure#i was incredibly nauseous pretty much constantly and would be sick daily for weeks at a time#that lasted like a year i still get flare ups of that if i over exert myself but it’s like basically fine now#but now i have disease that makes me nauseous and throw up and im like. okay 👍#this doesn’t feel like big enough of a problem#like those are my main symptoms but it feels like they’re meaningless bc ive had this just normally before#i haven’t been able to eat or even drink really without feeling or being sick#hoping i wont vomit again tonight almost every time ive eaten since yesterday i have and i had dinner like an hour ago#sorry so fucking tmi i feel really weird talking to anyone about this but i feel like i need to bc ??? fucked up idk#really fucking dehydrated also which is helping me not be sick but i think is giving me more of a headache#i have bad health ocd stuff also so i keep thinking im faking for various reasons anyways#i feel like thinking about this is going to make it reality even though i start thinking about it bc im feeling it#i keep trying to just make myself normal and not experience any of these symptoms bc i feel like i can control it (i cannot)#it’s only with nausea stuff bc it all surrounds emetophobia i know i can’t like stop a sore throat or something but this comes out of me#i could just not#sorry for talking way too in depth about my diseased body and mind#i had a super strong stomach as a kid like went 7 years or something without vomiting and then this shit started idk if the way i do it is#normal??? like this sounds so stupid but i feel like im subconsciously forcing it to happen bc idk how it’s supposed to be and it doesn’t#feel as bad as it should be#i think the fact it’s happening at all is bad but it feels like im being overdramatic#anyways yeah ive been feeling like shit lol i hate this stuff bc while i have the actual physical stuff i also start getting ten billion#mental problems about it as well#emetophobia#vent
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fortunately-bi · 1 year ago
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Uh oh
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autism-corner · 1 year ago
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sometimes im sad that i dont have actual irl friends and then i remember. i want to kms after every private message i send. props better this way.
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globodamorte · 2 years ago
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she's not even home. what the fuck girl
#overheard my mom yelling at my sister bc she hasnt been home since yesterday#and shes always going out and never cones back by the time she says she will (WHEN she comes home)#and she also keeps my dad awake bc it's fuckin 2 in the morning and she needs a ride#and we all worry bc she barely answers her phone and shit#but anyway mom was yelling at her#and turns out she was on the phone and this girls not even home yet#so idk#she really doesnt make it easier for herself#like come on#“oh i wanted to see this friend and leave but they were 3 hours late” just leave then. just fuckin leave man#and like maybe its easier for me bc i have no friends and i dont go out#but idk man#if your nights out are making your mother consider kicking you out then maybe reconsider some things.#like i dont care that she goes put a lot#but shes really inconsiderate towards my parents#i thought my mom was yelling at her bc she just got home#but shes not even here shes still out#like idk everyone gets worried and she just doesnt care and keeps us awake when she could just come home at a reasonable time#and while i do think its funny bc some years ago i did spend 2 days out bc i didnt feel like going home they were fine with it#but i guess its because i let them know first??? or they just dont care about me as much#delete#and shes always like “oh today ill go home early im really tired ill leave in like 1 hour” and she literally comes home like 8 hours later#shes so bad with time but bitch you gotta work on that#you cant teehee your way out of everything
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smoothlikealikeasnake · 1 month ago
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Strong Coffee and Sweet Cakes
Chapter Two ‘The Curse of Exhaustion’
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Genre - BTS FF, a/b/o dynamics, a/b/o BTS and MC, Ot7 x fem MC/reader, so fluffy, little angst, eventual smut
Warnings - Very fluffy! Angsty themes like loneliness, sadness, light insomnia - let me know if there’s any more! X
Summary - A new cafe near the Hybe building will change the 7 members of Bangtan’s lives forever, 7 alphas in a pack? A recipe for disaster. Until a sweet omega starts to stir up their world with a little bit more sugar and slowly their loneliness dissolves
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Author Notes - Chapter 2 is here! It’s starting out slow right now! I’m mostly focussing on introductions, world building, introducing you to the characters and dynamics of this story so the plot can progress!
Sorry I didn’t post this yesterday like I said, I got caught up longer than I expected to in the day and didn’t have time to write xx
The final scene was a last minute addition and idk why I just love it!
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With Namjoons new energy, the producing process seemed to be much easier, atleast one out of three minds was inspired and had some encourgement. But, all things come to an end, by 5pm, Namjoons motivation has deteriorated and the lack of sleep begins to catch up, fast. Its catching up for everyone, Yoongi, Hoseok and Namjoon have been stuck in the studio for the last three days and only slept once, unhealthy habits that they continue from years ago because three perfectionists, trying to produce an album on a timelimit, all thats in their minds are caffeine and work.
All three are rubbing at their eyes, heads heavy and thoughts beginning to process and thats when they have to call it quits, for the night atleast because without a single present mind, no work was going to be produced at all and theyd be back in the situation they thought they would have had all day, exhausted, drained and unmotivated. Atleast a few hours of sleep is needed right now.
"I cant even think" - Hoseok groans, rubbing at his neck and clicking it as if it will wake him up some and help him, legs aching from being sat for so long
"Neither, maybe this is it for tonight" - Namjoon agrees, slumping in his chair just a little
"Just another hour or two and then we can call it off" - Yoongi mumbles, not even taking his eyes off the computer, more just commenting half passively to encourage them to keep going just a little longer but the thing is, that little one or two hours is a whole lot when you havent slept in days
"We havent left the studio all day, lets just take a short break and then we can keep going" - Namjoons groaning out finally accepting near defeat
"Yeah, you know what, how about we go to this cafe your talking about and just get a drink to bring back" - Hoseok mentions it, curious but also just more eager to get a stretch of his legs because its what he desperately needs right now.
"What do you think hyung?" - Namjoon knows Yoongi could turn around and flat out say no, he doubts it, but he could and as much as they could fight, they are all reaching for the same thing right now.
"Yeah, okay we can take a short break" - Because as much as Yoongi wants to just stay and work, his pack and how they feel both physically and mentally is incredibly dear to him, even if it isnt always openly shown, even if he grumbles out his agreement and huffs, he doesnt mind taking a break for them.
Quickly having one last listen and making sure to save and close the computer just in case, the tired alphas groggily make their way into the biting air under the sunset, 5:15pm. Yoongi doubts the cafe will even be open anymore, Hoseoks yearning for his americano and Namjoon is maybe a bit too excited to go back so soon.
The two who havent yet seen the cafe pause for a moment when it comes into view, furrowing their eyebrows and taking in the scene because they instantly understand the appeal atleast visually, Their warm fairlights and string lamps set up outside lighting up the seating area and the atmosphere is like that of a movie in the moment, they'd seen hundreds of beautiful places in all of their travels but this is different, the small details Namjoon had noticed earlier making their way into the two alphas attention too. The 'Open!' Sign is still flipped how it was this morning, Namjoon sighing out in relief because he really does need the caffeine. Because thats definitely, definitely the only reason he wanted to come back. He too is surprised your open and it isn't too busy inside from what can be seen through the windows, tables occupied but not packed.
The little bell jingles as they enter, the two elder alphas taking moments to observe the inside, inhale the still strong scents of coffee and baked goods and yeah this was starting to make sense why Namjoon liked it here so much after just one visit. And then they see you, instatly knowing your the omega Namjoon mentioned as you bring over the teapot of chamomile tea to Mrs. Han and engage in a light conversation with the sweetest smile gracing your lips. Your eyes flicker to the door at their arrival but you dont stray your attention from Mrs. Han too much knowing your conversation would be short and you'd be back behind the counter shortly.
The earthy scent youd enjoyed this morning briefly fills your nose from across the room and your eyes light up a little, hes back, so soon and with two? other people, other alphas. One is a strong, heavily masculine sort of burning wood smell, theres hints of sweetness underneath, if you were to guess its- marshmallow? but its subtle and oh so complimenting with a hint of whiskey, just a little, its warming and while its a combination youd never imagined before it works so well, like a summer night out in the forest, a wood cabin and a fireplace maybe. The other is musky, the kind of musk only an alpha can have in their scent which can easily be overwhelming, unpleasant even, but its mellowed out with hints of crisp green apples and cedarwood, its lively, masculine and perfectly balanced, refreshing and so alluring. You try to resist the urge to breath a little deeper to take in more of their scents as you listen to Mrs. Han and finish up your conversation but as you begin to walk towards the counter and allow a little more of the scent to invade your senses, you cant help but frown at the bitterness of exhuastion that is laced over each of their scents, its unsettling to you, the type of tainting you really dont like to smell on others and you walk a little faster to take their orders and hopefully make it even a little less bitter.
Namjoons smiling as he approaches you at the counter, looking over your clear window showing off the bakes and noticing how its nearly empty now, just a few of each left, some only having one or two, some actually empty but there it is, the apple and cinnamon pretzel that made his morning and then he looks back up and he wants to coo at you, your hair messier than it was this morning, a little fluffy and your wearing a pair of glasses now, adjusting them on your nose as you approach them quickly, your sweet smile back again.
"Hello! Back again already" - You giggle out and Namjoon goes a bit pink with realising how yeah hed come back under 12 hours after he came for the first time and swooned over your coffee and bakes. Yoongi and Hoseok stand slightly behind him watching with intrigue and taking you in, a little warmth filling thie chest at your soft appearence and voice, they can also feel the shift in Namjoon's scent as it twists just a little stronger and sweeter, your nose twitching in response in a way that they find utterly adorable.
"Haha- yeah" - Namjoon awkwardly laughs out, practically facepalming in his head at the awkwardness in his voice but you really dont mind, its cute to you. Its cute in a way you'd never really thought of alphas like before, his clumsiness in body language and words just making you smile wider. Its so common for alphas to purely exude confidence, overhwelmingly strong and often pride too, which, of course is bad to stereotype but its one youve actually experienced. The lack of those two qualities, the slight uncertainty and natural tinge in Namjoon's actions are refreshing, its welcomed.
"What can i get you?"
"Ill have an espresso- uh the blend from earlier if that isnt too much trouble" - Namjoons cursing himself for not asking what it was because youd been working all day and probably had tens to hundreds of customers in that time why would you remember tha-
"Of course its not! Anything else?" - Ah, you cut off his doubt and awkwardness in a second and hes grateful, incredibly, for how attentive you are, even if you dont have to be at all
"What do you guys want?" - Only then do you bring your focus back to the two behind him and the way they step forward a little, not intimidatingly on purpose, but just naturally makes your eyes widen a little, brain falter for a mere second from the power of their scents but you force yourself to relax in order to listen.
"Ill have an americano " - For hoseok, looking forward to trying this coffee that transformed Namjoon
"A cold brew for me please" - Yoongi mumbles out, just loud enough for you to nod enthusiastically and you tap a few times on the screen and read over the order, routinely about to ask about what coffee blend theyd like but something comes to mind.
At 6am Namjoon had ordered two espressos, looked exhausted, wasnt even going to eat anything with it, hed left with some energy which made you happy but now hes back with that same exhaustion, at 5:30 and ordering more coffee? Its not your place, you havent even known him 12 hours but you cant stop the concern, the gentle scolding you want to give for how it cant be good for his body to have such strong coffee at this time in the day when he should begin to unwind.
Your eyebrows furrow, a little frown settling on your face and all three alphas feel their heart jump when you look back up at them, specifically speaking to Namjoon to hesitantly address your concerns, your breath hitching before you speak because this really could come off as rude potentially and thats so far from what you want but you cant help it, maybe you could atleast suggest something else, just playful concern, right?
Unfortunately it comes out more sad and concerned than you wanted it too. You want to sound teasing but your voice fails you along with your expression and you curse yourself for sounding too pushy but none of them see if that way.
"More espressos? Its evening now and you had an early morning" - Namjoon faulters at your words, lips parting in surprise and he can feel the strings in his heart pulling in everywhich way. You watch him struggle to reply for a moment but then you look at the other two criminally handsome men and one (Yoongi) suddenly smiles amused at your bold confrontation despite not knowing him long at all and Hoseok tilts his head with a smaller smile in further curiosity, waiting to see how this plays out.
"Ah we still have some work to do" - Namjoon eventually manages to get out but he instantly regrets it when your frown deepens, you arent going to argue because its not your place but the lack of approval in your expression has Namjoon spinning back on his words with a hand scratching his neck awkwardly, hes giving in to your every concern and wish without even realising because it feels good to be cared for, concerned for, its not common ehich is odd to think considering the millions of fans who wish them well at all times but this is personal, real, raw concern and its not because hes an artist, not because hes someone you admire but simply because hes human. And thats something that feels new.
"But... what would you suggest instead?" - The way your expression lights up and smile regraces your face is enough compensation for giving up the caffeine he holds close to his heart, this feels warmer, more rewarding. You instantly reply bubbly at his acceptence of your not so subtle suggestion.
"I can make you a mint tea? Its relaxing, less caffeine, good for your throat" - You list off a few benefits happily and its clear youd chosen something you found suitable to him because chamomile was too relaxing, fruit tea possibly too sweet, mint was just right in your opinion.
"I'll have one of those then instead, and uh another apple and cinnamon pretzel please" - If he's going to differ from his usual choice he might aswell indulge in another one of the sweet, filling treats he so enjoyed before, the way you light up impossibly brighter in the dim ambient atmosphere pulls a more permanent smile onto Namjoons lips, he can see you teeter on your feet because he'd indirectly admitted his adoration for the bake.
"Of course!" - You tap it in satified with his change of heart, more than satisfied, fulfilled and warm inside, holding back a purr from showing how much it warms your heart to care for and treat people, especially those who work too hard for their own good which is what these alphas give off.
Your looking over the other two alphas remembering their presence instantly, this could be their first coffee of the day for all you know - you doubt it - given they look the same as Namjoon in terms of exhaustion but you dont know anything about them and your interference with Namjoon's order is as far as you'll push for now so you just give them the same smile you give Namjoon and look over all three as you ask your next question, really trying not to shrink under their strong presences. Its hard to ignore the swell of pride that fills your heart realising not only had Namjoon returned so quickly but he had also - supposedly - brought his friends here too, its an indirect praise that just makes you smile a little wider, your cheeks a little warmer and fingers a tad more fidgety but you try not to show it.
"Anything else?" - Hoseok looks over at the bakes display because Namjoon had ordered something from there and then something catches his eye
"Is that banofee pie?" - One, pristine slice remains under the cake cover and when does he ever resist a banoffee pie, especially one that looks so good.
"Yes! It is" - Your nodding and watch Hoseok pause for a second, heart lips pulling into a tempted smile, nodding to himself and you
"Ill have that slice then please" - The smile widening on your face a little is once again rewarding and Hoseok wants you to always smile like that- even if hes only just met you.
Yoongi has been watching the interactions silently, observing you, the way your so expressionate in your body language and face, saw the way your body lit up like a live wire both times the alphas requested one of your desserts and while he really did want to get back to finish up and finally sleep a bit, he wouldnt mind staying for a while in the cozy atmosphere of your cafe.
"Okay! Is that all for you?" - The three are nodding quickly at your question
"To go or sit in?" - They should go, get their drinks and go back to the studio but something in each of them is tempting them to stay. To indulge. Namjoons looking back at the other two quickly because he knows they said theyd go back but admitedly he doesnt want too and when he looks at Yoongi for his decision and when the man simply shrugs, avoiding looking him in the eyes and pushing his long hair back, Namjoon feels like hes won something, turning back to you waiting and nodding before he answers for the three.
"Sit in please" - You quicly ring them up and repeat what youd told Namjoon this morning, that they can sit anywhere and they find a small corner, three comfortable seats and a window for a gentle, fresh breeze. In your negociation with Namjoon youd completely forgotten to ask what the other two alphas would like coffee blend wise and you panic for a moment, looking back and forth as they sit down and noting the deep sighs they exchange purely from thie minds clouded with stress, you take the decision for yourself to give them the least disturbance, a honey roast for Yoongi and a Medium roast for Hoseok, mint tea for Namjoon with a little pot of honey he can choose to add or not and prepare all of it on a tray with the two treats they wanted.
Meanwhile around the table, the three begin to talk, taking in the night settling outside the window and taking a well needed moment to breathe
"She is sweet" - Yoongi mutters with a confirming nod of his head
"Very cute, caring too" - Hoseok instantly agrees, eyes watching you spin around behind the counter preparing their different drinks, intrigued.
"Yeah i mean i did say" - Namjoon’s eyes are also on you, thinking about how you’d thought about his health before anything else and it was just sticking with him.
"Bold of her to suggest you not have what you originally order... i like it" - Yoongi gives a small huff and smile.
"So we going to finish and go back to the studio"
"Thats the plan"
"We just have to review the last track again, make any last changes, it feels like its missing something but im not sure what yet" - Yoongi tells them with his eyebrows pursed because if any of them are the hardest on themselves when it comes to work, its him. Hoseok's a bit too distracted by observing all the patterns youve decorated this place in to think about what exactly is missing in the track but luckily for him, Namjoon answers.
"I get what you mean, just something small but definitely vital, it could just be the backing vocals we need Jin to record though"
"Maybe" - Yoongi hums out, imagining the song in his head and trying to work out if spending another few hours will even do anything or if Jin's vocals are all the track really needs.
"Choreography is coming along alright, pretty sure we can start to learn it next week" - Hoseok finally refocuses on the work topic and he recalls back to him and Jimin struggling to bring some of the choreograpies together, of course some of them are choreographed by other people but dancing is him and Jimin's passion, it just makes him cringe recalling the pure frustration and tension building when things just dont work or dont play out how they envisioned.
Before anyone can reply, they're distracted by you teetering over, silent on your feet but your sweet scent gives you away, unknowingly lulling some of the tension in thier muscles away, each of them slightly melting into their seats. You entirely focus on putting each of their orders infront of them, repeating them outloud quietly and being careful not to spill anything from the tray. The three watch you, expertly moving each of their cups around one by one with barely a few taps on the table, only then do they take you in further.
Your apron is tied tight on your body, secured with a bow in the back that Hoseok notices, fitting, he thinks. Your hair is tied back but a few strands have fallen from the ponytail and framed your face, the hairs tickling you and making you twitch but it doesnt set you off task for a single moment. Energy seems to bound around you but Yoongi notices the tiniest shake of your fingers and just slightly laboured breathing as your omegan body tries to keep up with the pace you set yourself, its something youve taught yourself to get used to and you have built a significant tolerance to it but at the end of long days like this one, it starts to catch up to you, makes you jittery and has you yearning for your nest at the end of the day more than anything.
You dress simply for work, just in a t-shirt and jeans that are for the most part comfortable but at the end of the day begin to make your skin feel a little scratchy and sensitive, nothing you can help or avoid. They do little to hide the curves of your body but its not something the three men spend time dwelling on because they arent some freshly presented alphas or disrespectful in general. With all of the dishes and cups placed down you quietly repeat everything back to yourself, a look of concentration on your face that makes the three watch you intently, making sure everything is there and when your content you shoot up from your slightly bent position, hands clasped infront of you and expression bright besides the impending tiredness that is due to settle over you soon and they can see it, as much as you try to push it down and only want to wrap you up in one of the many blankets settled all around and guide you to rest. You want the same for them however, and you express that, gently.
"Enjoy! And please do try to rest soon" - You say your last part quieter, hesitant but it’s appreciated by the three, and maybe your words settle in sooner than they'd planned.
You make your way back to the counter and occupy yourself with your tasks but the three can feel you trying to subtly glance over to gauge their reactions, they dont mind, more curious and intrigued more than anything. The sips they all take have them simultaniously groaning, kind of animated, seeming almost fake because it feels luxurious, smooth, perfectly suited to their tastebuds. Your smiling to yourself at their reaction and it only gets bigger when Hoseok tries his pie and his eyes practically gauge out of his head, taking an even bigger bite than before.
They find themselves not drinking and eating for fuel, but for enjoyment, slower than usual and certainly slower than theyd planned. Theyre sinking into their chairs, Yoongis slowly blinking in that catlike manner he has, Hoseoks slumping in the chair and definitely would usually mentally scold himself for how hes acting as if hes in his own home with his head leant back against the chair and manspreading but he didnt really care right now for some reason. Namjoon is feeling particularly heavy, sleepy with the warm, soothing drink youd carefully prepared for him, finding himself running his hands through his hair in an effort to try to keep himself awake. Without realising, half an hour goes by, 6pm and the cafe is slowly emptying, the three half asleep, incredibly relaxed alphas realise they should probably get up, so slowly they do, trying to blink away the sleep.
"So we best get back huh?" - Namjoon gets out, rubbing his eye but Yoongi shakes his head, surprising them both
"it can wait, lets just get some sleep" - Yoongi can practically feel the joy radiating off the two others from his words
"Look at us, taking her advice without even realising" - Hoseok jokes about it but its the truth and walking over to the counter to drop off their plates, they can see the tiredness in your own body a lot more clearly now, trying to keep up with quick movements but your hands are shaking more than before and your faltering in your movements, seeming to forget your actions every few seconds but your trying and its so clear it makes them frown.
"That was amazing thank you"
"Truly" - Hoseok throws in and they see you spin around at their words and muster up a warm smile, wishing them a good evening and telling them to remember your words from earlier playfully. Namjoon and Hoseok begin a slow walk to the door, Yoongi about to follow but he looks at the two, sees them about to reach outside and turns back to you, capturing your attention.
"Take care of yourself, hm? Get some rest" - Yoongi's quiet, making sure no one else can hear and his tone is soft but assertive, a small frown on his lips, you stare for a moment a little shocked, opening and closing your mouth like a fish because you hadnt realised anyone else could see the indicators of your tiredness but his expression made it clear he had noticed and he cared. You like to show care to others, it makes you happy but oddly enough, you dont often recieve the same, not that you ever expect it but just as an obersvation. He makes you stutter and blush, warm inside and all you can do is nodd furiously with a smile and a quiet assurance that you will.
Yoongi nods back, huffs in satisfaction and your small interaction plays on repeat for the rest of both of your nights. Yoongi revels in your sweet reaction, the "i-i will" you let out even if the surprise you showed unsettled him, the pink tint of your cheeks is cute, the fluster different from your confidient and bubbly personality he'd seen before that but he wanted to see it over and over again. Hes unknowingly smiling as he leaves until Namjoon and Hoseok ask him why he looks so giddy, brushing them off and telling them they should all get home and sleep, which they do without a second thought.
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Your cafe is open early and late everyday, 6-6:30 monday to saturday but thats exactly why your friends are vital to any sort of success you have because without them, you simply wouldnt be able to run the hours you do. Mondays you do the entire day, along with wednesdays and fridays, one of the three will always be there during rush hours to help but for the most part you are set to work the entire day. Unfortunately, the long hours completely take it out of you and you also have to do the baking so to manage, you focus in the kitchen on Tuesdays and thursdays, maintaining prep for the rest of the week and having time to recharge whilst one of the others take front of house or two of them somedays. This way, you have much shorter days on those days and get the rest you need, you get to sleep in and leave so much earlier too.
Its essential - the rest - because as an omega you naturally crave and require more sleep than betas and alphas, its in your genes and although you absolutely use every ounce of your energy and some to work as much as possible, it does catch up to you. A lot of days youll walk in to your home, barely functioning and b-line for your nest, sleep an insane amount without much time to yourself. Of course you get breaks during the days you work long hours and you'd recently hired some part-time staff to help throughout the day alongside Yuqi, Soyeon and Soojin and its taken some weight off of you but you still often find yourself in the exact same position as you are today.
Not having a pack as an omega is hard, most would find it impossible but your situation isnt something youd change in desperation, your not in a pack by choice, not by force because your entirely waiting for the pack that feels right to invite you, if that day ever comes. It's hard because you crave the comfort and safety betas and alphas - especially - naturally provide to omegas in their pack, the ability to exude their scent in waves to lull their omegas into a softer, less anxious state - which you often get - and in return omegas are naturally nurturing, calming to those around them and balance out a pack, taking away stress.
For you, after a long day you begin to get jittery, shakey and lose focus in moments, you get out of breath incredibly fast, your eyes grow heavy, your mind slows down and tasks that would usually be simple become incredibly hard. You do your absolute best to hide it, to never show it infront of customers or even your friends but sometimes your friends notice and silently come to your aid just a little more than usual, something your grateful for, incredibly. No customer has ever noticed it though, atleast never enough to ever comment on it but Yoongi did and it made you freeze up, almost like making your mind catch up with your body and you felt even more sluggish than before but for some reason, it felt- okay? It would usually make you frustrated but today it felt okay to let yourself be tired, okay to be a bit more lenient on yourself.
After closing up, your walk home is slower than usual, not forcing yourself to keep at a pace that makes your muscles burn and lungs scream. You have the same issue as usual when you get in though, entering your own cozy space puts your body on sleep mode, tells you your finally in some kind of safe environment so you make yourself a quick dinner, half asleep already and moving sluggishly and as soon as its down, a quick shower so you dont get your nest dirty where the hot water feels especially scalding on your sensitive skin, sometimes makes it a little irritated but it all is well when your nest comes into sight.
You barely throw on your pajamas before bounding into the soft cocoon, purring in an instant, body finally allowed to properly rest, clutching onto the variety of blankets and not attempting to even check your phone because your hands are shaking too much. Somehow youll manage to put on a show to watch for .5 seconds before descending into a deep sleep but most nights its unfortunately interuppted. Not by anything but yourself, thats another reason beta and alpha pheromones are essential for most omegas, they help you sleep and stay asleep. Without, you end up waking up multiple times in the night without reason and its annoying along with incredibly tiring. Jolting awake isnt new to you, just not exactly what would be the ideal situation with how hard you work everyday.
Bangtan's pack experience the same, work long hours everyday, hardly see a few weeks of break a year - if anything - and in the time they do have to sleep, they struggle, tossing, turning, jolting awake. They put it down to the stress of their idol life but deep down they all know theres something else factoring in, the absence of something theyve yet to find. Its gotten especially hard for them recently, back from the military. Before, they could bury themselves in military tasks, exhaust themselves into a slightly deeper sleep, just as they could usually do before from their idol activites but now? Its started to stop working, as if their bodies have grown immunity to their tactics and are still pushing for something they dont know. Between consistent stress from the comeback, catching up with everything theyve missed and having to become accustomed to their pack/group life all over again - which theyd never imagined would be so hard to do, they never noticed just how routine it all was until they split apart - their bodies are in overdrive and their emotions? Yeah, not great to say the least.
The songs their writing themselves are getting more and more negative, forcefully positive in some cases but its so fake that it just feels wrong. Their unhealthy habits become more and more frequent, hormones are all over the place and their struggling, possibly more than ever. They bought a penthouse recently, collectively, its huge, big enough for all of them and they claimed they can stay there during group activites for convenience but realistically they share comfort in eachother, not just because they are a pack but because they share this deeprooted loneliness that those around them won't understand.
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"Is it hard? Being an omega, not in a pack?" - Yuqi asks, blunt as ever and you know she means no harm, no intention to upset you at all so you take it with no offence even if Soojin elbows her hard for how she says it
"I dont know, i guess it was but im used to it now" - Theres not a hint of solemness in your voice, no search for sympathy because this is just how it is. It still makes the six - Yuqi, Soyeon, Soojin, Shuhua, Minnie and Miyeon (your friendS for years now) - cringe and frown, always ones to be concerned for you no matter how much you try to brush it off.
"You always have any of us you know?" - And you know Soyeon and the rest of them mean it, you shove another mouthful of rice in and smile through your cheeks with a nod, if you need them theyre only a call away but you understand why they're concerned, Alphas and Betas such as themselves have a significantly easier time without packs because they genetically arent as dependent on others usually.
"Aishhh always getting solemn Soyeon" - Miyeon scolds, nudging her because you clearly wont speak more on this topic, you never do, its a jar you dont like to open, one filled with old memories and Miyeon knows that.
"Sorry sorry- So, hows Leila, Shuhua?" - Ah this is a happy topic, Shuhua's neice, a little omega who isnt even one yet, the baby she sontims brings to your cafe when she babysits and just has you gushing and fretting over every little thing about her. Everyone can feel you brighten up, your scent sweetening as the hint of strawberry thickens balanced with the sweet cream.
"Yes! How is the little potato" - Yuqi asks and you push her shoulder with a playful frown, scolding her for teasing the cute baby. She does have the most adorable chubby little face and hands and legs and just everything- a little marshmallow if you were to compare her to anything but Yuqi liked to call her a potato
"If you keep calling her i think Y/n's going to explode one day Yuqi" - Minnie playfully teased and faux pouted at you but Shuhua brushed them both off, just continuing
"Anyway, she's great! My sister said she Doesnt let go of the blanket you gave her Y/n" - Thats the other thing, both Shuhua's sister and her husband are beta and alphas, Leila is an omega, its a rare occurence but far from impossible. They have barely any omegas in their family and no matter how much research they do sometimes they still struggle or Shuhua will struggle will babysitting but thats where you come in.
You understand, you can understand in ways alphas and betas cant because your an omega and while she isnt your daughter or related to you in any way so you dont know her every tendency like her family do, you can help in some cases. Like a few weeks ago, when Shuhua had come in with her and you'd been working in the kitchen that day but youd whizzed out, flour all over your apron and rushed over before youd even heard Leila's first cry because you could sense the distress before they all could. Soojin had stared in surprise as you'd practically sprinted past her and reached the two just before Leila began to cry and saw Shuhua's face morph into one also of distress because she was fed, changed, being held after not wanting to crawl or walk for the moment, all of the things shed routinely check, indicated that Leila should be just fine and you knew that Shuhua had obviously done everything right but you could feel and see some unresolved discomfort.
You didnt know what from, but it was the kind you'd get when you just needed an extra layer of comfort when you were younger especially, its how you ended up with a collection of soft blankets to bring with you to places - which now are carefully placed in your nest after years of wear - its a hunch but it was worth trying and you'd wide eyed rushed around, to your small office in the back, past Leila and Shuhua and Soojin again, practically throwing blanket after blanket out of the box you have kept in the office, unscented new blankets that you kept just in case until you found the exact one you were looking for, its soft, crotcheted so she could slip her fingers through it easily, long enough for her to drape over her body for years to come and with a quick feel yourself, you just knew it was right so without another word you were draping it over her and gently encouraging her hands to hold onto it, her wails soothing until a wave of tiredness settled over her and she was asleep with pink cheeks and sniffles within just 2 minutes.
Shuhua had looked at you in pure astonishment, even though shed watched you be especially nurturing to omegas before, those in distress, discomfort, just a little sad or even those who you just sensed needed it but Leila couldnt even speak yet you'd just known and back to now, it fills you with joy and warmth that youd made the sweet little thing happy.
"When doesnt our Y/nie know best" - Soyeon exclaims dramatically, hand over heart for added flare and everyone laughed at her tease while you grew red cheeked and shoved in anoher mouthful of meat from the hotpot youd all gotten. Every friday night youd all go out for a dinner at the same restaurant in the area, a smallish one that just did the absolute best hot meals ever. You were exhausted every time but you kept it together throughout the day and evening because you look forward to this time with them, its rewarding after a long week and you cherish it. Absentmindely, the six always pick up on your needs, never forgetting to pick up the blanket from your office chair to drape over your shoulders or lap for that extra layer of comfort you just need after the day and they make sure your drink is always topped up, usher you into the middle of the booth between them and make sure you always walk home with someone even if youd tried multiple times to resist their fussing, they just know you, and they care.
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"Jungkook why have we just got a huge delivery of pillows, blankets and duvets?" - Seokjin asks over the phone watching as box after box gets piled into the entry way of their penthouse, utterly confused when he read the box contents on the top of each one. Its absurd, the place is already decorated.
"I just wanted them hyung..." - Jungkook quietly mumbled out, he cant explain it to Seokjin because it sounds silly, he just got an urge, he felt an itch and he scratched it. Seokjin was running his hand through his hair seeing more and more come through the door and just standing in utter disbelief.
"What are you even preparing for?! An apocolpyse? The biggest movie night known to man? Have you suddenly turned into a bear and not told us your preparing to hibernate for winter?!" - Seokjin rambles into the phone, words spitting like fire.
"Hey i get it, the place definitely needs to be cozier" - Jimin agrees from Jungkook's side of the line, adding to his purchasing choices and Seokjin just cant believe it because in what world would they need anywhere near this much?!
But whats the point in arguing when Jungkook already sounded scolded and sad, its been hard for them lately, theres no point adding to the stress. With a deep sigh, Seokjin just bites his lip and nods to himself, mentally agreeing with the new arrangement.
"Do you want me to arrange them or just put the boxes in your room?"
Just two nights before, Jungkook had been browsing on his phone when he saw a tiktok of an omega preparing their nest, so many blankets and cozy things and his body went on autopiled, he acted without a single thought for some reason and for the next three hours, he ordered every type of blanket and pillow he could find on the website the omega linked for their primary usage, of all different materials and sizes without much of a plan at all. It was also clearly out of place for Jungkook because he barely ordered anything in black, white or grey, more white than the other two but everything else was mainly soft pastels, a few brighter pieces here and there. Its odd, but he let it happen because in the state hes been recently, he just needed to do something that felt right and it also felt right to order it to the penthouse and not his personal house, so he did. He didn't want to explain how the urge clawed at him until he gave in, how afterwards he slept better than he has in a very long time because theres no logical explanation for it.
Except there is, Jungkook is instinctively preparing for a omega to enter their lives and he doesnt even know it.
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Thank you so much for reading I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Hoping to get the next one out very soon xx
Please let me know what you think! My asks are open and I try to reply to comments as fast as I can
Side note, I watched Are You Sure for most of the writing of this, not relevant but I just did because I love it.
Mwah 💖
ཐི♡ཋྀ
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Taglist : Open! Just lmk if you’d like to be added x
@m00njinnie @imeverycliche @kiki-zb @meowforluv
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moonstruckmoony · 11 months ago
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A Ravenclaw Lunch 🦅
Drew some of my favorite Ravenclaws on this platform. Although one isn't necessarily a Ravenclaw. (@traceyc-uk I genuinely thought he was a Ravenclaw when I first saw him lol but I saw your comment reply somewhere that your first playthrough was Ravenclaw so I think this counts… a bit? 😂)
This post is basically a peace offering (and a love letter) bcs I want to make more Ravenclaw friends 👀👉🏻👈🏻 definitely not because I'm obsessed with you guys' MCs
I swear it was supposed to be a silly doodle at first but idk how or when down the line but somehow it turned into this mega drawing. Took me weeks to finish it. I’m not happy with a few technical things especially lights and shadows… and some other things as well but I leave it be bcs I’m aware that I’m still learning 🥲 The rest I’m pretty satisfied with, I’m just happy that I got to finally finish this.
Front row (left to right):
Violet and Pearl Castellar by @vienguinn Omg HAPPY BELATED BELATED BIRTHDAY TO THESE BABIES! These 2 are some of my favorites and everytime you post I always open my phone real quick, your short comics are my comfort 🩵
Clora Clemons by @choccy-milky I cannot not draw Clora?!!?! I consider you a legend in this fandom tbh 👑 also I want to thank you bcs your fic and illustrations literally helped me go through my stressful period when I was at my lowest bcs of my new demanding job that I started half a year ago. I look forward to your post everytime and your Clora and Seb always heals my soul 😭🩵💚
Sally Salamander by @siboom777 Sally is just so wacky and unapologetically herself and I love her for it 🩵 Does she take commissions for toys tho?
Marvin Jerry by @runicxraven MY LOVELY SILLY ADORABLE LITTLE NERD 💗💗💗💗 I need more Marvin in my life honestly.
@najiang ‘s MC - I’m so so sorry I didn’t draw her full face😭, I tried my best to show her face as much as I can while still looking like she’s taking those sausages haha. But anyway please know that I love your art so so much and I kept going back to the curry one and the one where MC came across Amit with beard as adults (that one is hilarious). Idk if your MC has a name or you left it nameless? I assume it was the latter but if she has one I’d love to know!
Faustine Daemon by @faustinio27 Hey, a fellow INFJ! Winter is the same 🩵 I really love her story and especially her personality character sheet, you drew her expressions really well and I’m a fan!
Back row (left to right):
Oliver Lennox by @pixie-dustss Handsome boi 🥰 We’re friends already (I hope I’m not the only one who thinks that way 🫢) from TikTok and you made me a video for Secret Santa last year and I just found out recently that you’re on Tumblr too so I want to say thanks by drawing Oliver! 🩵🩵🩵
Aurélie Collins by @morelikeravenbore I loove this look for Aura, she just looks so chic with the hat and scarf 😭🩵 Sassy Ravenclaw bebe 🥰 My Winter has some French heritage (the lore is still rotting in my notebook bcs I haven’t had the chance to draw her family members 🥲) so I do hope they can be friends and Aura would teach her French bcs she can’t speak much of it 👉🏻👈🏻
Alistair Dusk by @speedysart Surprise! You commented on my last speedpaint on Tiktok yesterday and I want to spill this art so bad but I was almost done so I kept my mouth shut haha. I love the pretty boi’s hair and piercings, and the fact that you chose this blazer for him, I just love it he looks so dapper in that 😣🩵
Eleonora Russel by @zordanna I love sweet Eleonora and her fascination with the moon and stars 🩵🌌 Oh and I kept coming back to your “I feel like an orange” Tiktok bcs it’s so fluffy and it heals my stress… also I adore your art it’s super soft and painty and delicate 🥹💗
@traceyc-uk ‘s MC - YOUR MC. I SWEAR TO MERLIN HE’S ON MY MIND 24/7 LATELY. Not sure why, it’s probably bcs I kept re-reading your comics. Also bcs he’s an adorable little golden retriever (but also a fierce cat!😼) You’re super talented in drawing comics and facial expressions, I have a lot to learn especially in terms of layouting… last time I made a comic I hated the layout and the fact that it looks stiff to me, so your comics has been such an inspiration!
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tonysbed · 3 months ago
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Secrets I keep | Part 13
Lando Norris x sister!reader
Max Fewtrell x norris!reader
Daniel Ricardo x Norris!reader
summary: You and Max have been dancing around your feelings for years but jealousy gets the best of us all..
not proofread
warnings: mention of loosing virginity, no they’re not gonna fuck on the boat, ITS LANDOS. Smut will be marked. Reader is definitely a woman 😔☝️ For the first time, I wrote protected sex 😧
warnings in the smut part: choking, rough sex, virginity loss, use of good girl, fingering, it could be cringe for some idk
series masterlist | previous | next
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“Max..” Your voice was quiet and your eyes met his “We don’t have to, we’ll go up there and take a nap or anything” You nod, he smiles gently and presses a kiss to your nose “Tell me when I’m crossing lines okay? I’m not gonna loose you because i’m selfish or anything” His tone was quiet and gentle, matching yours.
“I will. I just..” You look down. Max senses that you’re struggling, grabs the forgotten ice cream, puts it back in the freezer and takes you back upstairs.
He pulls you on your previous spot, making you lay your head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry” “For what?” “We didn’t..” And we don’t have to. I literally could not care less. If you don’t want it, I don’t want it either.”
You smile at him as his thumb caressed your cheek. You sigh and press your lips together, making Max tilt his head at you “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, it’s fine” He shakes his head “No. Talk to me” You shake your head “It’s okay” “No it’s not. I can only help you when you tell me what’s wrong” “Nothings really wrong..” “But?”
You sigh and fidget with a bracelet Lando had gifted you years ago “It hasn’t changed..” Max looked confused “Changed? What?” “Me, uhm..” “Well, It doesn’t really matter if you do or not. I’m still right here” You chuckle and blush at his words.
“It’s no that” His hand rests over yours “Then what?” “I asked something of you, something you didn’t want.. well..” Max face twists from confusion to realisation “You’re..you never..?” You shake your head “I didn’t know we’d end up here but I never really found anyone I trusted enough”
He stares at you “And where is the problem?” “Maybe you didn’t want-“ “You listen to me now.” He sits up “I wanted you. I want you and I will want you until I take my last breath. That’s how much you consume me. I need you in every way that you allow me to have you. And I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like you couldn’t be open about this, but I promise you, It’s okay. And we don’t have to. Okay? That’s not why we’re here”
He holds your face in his hands “Okay?” You nod and gently meet his lips.
“We’ve been through enough to not hide something from the other. And we’ll probably go through hell a few times. Especially when the internet catches on, but that all won’t matter cause we’ve got each other.”
You smile and nod “Okay” Max smiles too “Okay. And now we should slowly go back to land. I’m starving” You chuckle “Ay ay, captain” You smirk “Dork” He ruffles through you hair “Hey!”
He quickly kissed the top of your head and heads to turn the boat around. You watch him leading you both back to the land. Maybe it wasn’t as bad as you thought.
-
yn added to their story
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caption: I wish I knew what he tried there, but I have no clue @/ maxfewtrell
reply’s:
lando did he get stuck?
yn no he actually didn’t
lando ohhh, miracle
yn almost tho
alexandrasaintmleux when is your busy schedule free for me 😔
yn always, you just gotta say when you’re free 😔 I think we also need to talk about something that happened yesterday 👀
alexandrasaintmleux ohh 👀
user you and max are hanging out a lot
user you’re with max again??
-
yn and alexandrasaintmleux added to their story
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(yn cap: 🦋🤍 | alex cap: 💕🌸)
“But you guys didn’t sleep with each other?” “No I couldn’t.. I mean we talked about it afterwards. And he told me that it’s okay but it doesn’t feel okay”
She smiles at you “You’re finally where you wanted to be all along. It is okay. No matter what the media, what lando, and definitely daniel says. They don’t matter. Did he give you any reason not to trust him?”
“No?” “Then talk to him again. And if you aren’t ready, then that’s okay too.” “Everyone-“ “Shut up.” You blink at her “Stop comparing yourself, please. If I had the chance again, I would’ve rather thought about who I had my first time with. But I wanted to fit in, to loose my virginity. That’s stupid tho. Do it with someone you love, and not do it when everyone tells you to lose it.”
You nod “Alright, alright. Before you start writing poems here.” You chuckle and Alex laughs “I’m sure i’ll write some about the insufferable love you two have for each other” “Me and Max? Talk about yourself with the wannabe fashionista”
“That’s mean” She says but laughs “His pants are the worst! How would you let him go out like that?” You cringe “He likes it I guess. I’ll help him here and there but..he’s expressing himself..?”
“Don’t make me feel bad “ You chuckle but pick up your phone that lit up.
“Who is it?” “Max” She smirks at you “Shut up” “I didn’t say anything” You roll your eyes “What does he want?” “Asking if I was up for dinner tonight. But keegan and morgan would be joining if I was okay with it”
“But you wanted to talk to him” “I’m not gonna talk to him about him talking my virginity in public, Alex!” You whisper yell. She shrugs and you roll your eyes again.
“Maybe you won’t even have to talk” She smirks again “Alex” You whine “Do you trust him?” “Yes” “Do you want it to be him?” “Yes” She smiles as she sips her coffee.
“We’ll see what happens” “Just don’t panic. You’ll be okay.” you nod “Thank you alex” “You know I won’t judge” She winks.
-
maxfewtrell
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liked by landonorris, charlesleclerc, angryginge13 and 625.836 others
maxfewtrell recently 🌺👀
user WHO IS THAT
lando I still beat you.
maxfewtrell 🙄🙄
angryginge13 not surprised. He was ogling his girlfriend the entire time
maxfewtrell I was not
lando you were.
user let us innnn
user he looks so happy omg
user this is so cute
user handplacement 🥹
-
You kicked off your heels in the hallway and made your way to the living room. You flopped down onto the couch and you hear a chuckle from behind you “Told you to wear other shoes.” “But others wouldn’t have fit to my outfit” You pout.
“Then you should’ve changed” “So you don’t like my outfit?” “Oh trust me, I love it” You blush a bit as he sits next to you, hand on your knee.
“How was the meet up with Alexandra? More gossip?” “Maybe” Max smiled and closed his eyes. His head rested on the back of the couch as you watched him.
“Everything okay?” He mumbled a few moments later and opened one eye to look at you “yeah, i’m okay” You smile warmly. He smiles, closes his eye and gently strokes your leg.
Either he hasn’t noticed, or he’s doing it on purpose but with each stoke, his hand itched higher and higher. When he got to your thigh, your breath hitched.
You saw max’s lips twitch upwards slightly. His thumb makes a soothing motion over your inner thigh, which isn’t soothing at all (Ykyk that feeling).
“Fewtrell.” He hums “What are you doing?” “I’m not doing anything” He turns his head and looks at you with an innocent smile “I know exactly what you’re doing.” “Then why are you asking?”
* Smut until the next mark *
“Don’t play with me, Fewtrell” “No? But I thought that’s exactly what you wanted” You glare at him “Maybe I don’t want it anymore” He chuckled “No? Then why is my hand trapped between your thighs?” He smirks. Fuck, you hadn’t even noticed that your thighs were pressed together.
You look up at him with a faint blush on your cheeks. His free hand cups your cheek “Tell me to stop and I will” You shake your head “Don’t” “No? You sure” You nod and he raised an eyebrow at you.
“Yes”
That’s all it took for max to let his restraint go. His lips crash into yours “Tell me if I make you uncomfortable or-“ “Just shut up” You breath out. He chuckled, pulled his hand from between your thighs and climbed over you.
His hands were next to your head, yours finding their place on his sides “Max” You say quietly as his lips gently glide over your jaw “Hm?” You raise your hands to his cheeks and pull him in for another kiss.
One hand slowly wanders down to the first button on his shirt, which he catches in his hand. You look at him puzzled “I’m not fucking you on your couch” “Why not?” “Not happening”
He gets up and throws you over his shoulder as if you weighted nothing “Max! What the fuck!” “You’ll live.” You chuckle as he makes his way to your bedroom.
He gently sets you down on the bed and doesn’t restrain your hands from opening his shirt this time. He watched every move of your hands and looks right into your eyes as you push the dress shirt off him.
He lets it fall to the floor as he leans over you again, his lips almost touching yours “Still okay?” “yes” You lean up the last bit to kiss him, making him smile into the kiss.
One of his hands trace your back “Wanna keep it on or can I..” Max eyes you for a moment, keeping alert for any possible discomfort. You breath for a moment “It’s okay” You say quietly.
He smiles and gently opens your dress. It falls of your shoulders as he pulls you up by your hands and strips you off the dress completely.
His eyes roam your body, but instead of being embarrassed, it’s sends a warm sensation through your body.
“Got your wish after all, huh?” He chuckled “Shut up and hurry up” “Patience baby. Everything at its time” You roll your eyes but yelp as Max pushes you back on the bed.
“Up” He says and you move more upwards on the bed as he towers over you. His lips find your jaw once again while one of his hands roams your form.
He trails down your body, keeping eye contact. “Max, please. Don’t tease” “I’m not teasing, i’m enjoying” His hands slide up your sides and stop at your bra “Can I take it off?” You nod and Max opens your bra and throws it off the bed.
“Fuck, you’re so beautiful.” He murmured against your skin. His hands gently knead your tits and smirks as you let out a gasp.
He comes up to your ear, gently biting under it, earning a muffled moan “Has anyone ever touched you, baby?” You shake your head, breathless “No? Oh fuck” He chuckled and let his head fall forward for a moment.
Max composed himself again as his hands travel down to the last piece of clothing that’s covering you. He looks at you and you nod. He raised an eyebrow “Yes, max for fucks sake. Stop asking and do something, please”
He smirked and pulled down your underwear, leaving you bare in front of him. You tug at his pants “No, not yet” He gently guides your hand above your head “This is about you, not me” You whine “You can have me later, let me make my stupid decision up, hmm?”
He gently glides two fingers through your folds. You bite your lip to keep your moans quiet, but Max wasn’t having any of it.
“Let me hear you, otherwise I’ll stop” He pulls his hand away and you buckle your hips upwards, which was quickly shut down by max shoving and holding your hips down.
His fingers find your clit and circle it slowly. One of your hands grabs max’s arm. He smiles and speeds up slowly. Your breathing was already unsteady but it wasn’t enough “Max, please” “Use your words. What do you want?”
You blush and clench your jaw “I’m not a mind reader, you gotta tell me” “Your fingers” “oh yeah?” You nod eagerly “Well, who am I to deny you that” He slowly inserts one of his fingers and watches your face for any discomfort.
When he doesn’t find any, he curves his finger upwards. You moan and thighten your grip on his arm “More, please Max” He inserts another finger into you and picks up the pace.
He keeps his thumb on your clit, kissing your thighs in the process. You moan out his name, nothing else than him filling your mind.
“What a good girl” Max raised an eyebrow as you clenched around his fingers “Oh? You like when I call you that?” You blush and hide your face in your hands.
“Don’t hide yourself, come on Baby” He peels your hands away “Eyes on me. You wanna cum on my fingers?” You nod “Yeah? You think you can handle my cock too?” You nod eagerly “Yes, I can”
Max smirks, picking up the speed again and you whine “Aw, are you sensitive?” You push your head backwards into the pillow.
The squelch of the movement inside of you is the only noise filling the room for a moment, making you fist the blanket and max’s arm.
“So good- Max! ‘m close” “Yeah? I’ve got you, cum all over my fingers. Need it” He says and bites the inside your thigh.
The pain pushes you over the edge, your nails digging into Max’s arm.
He slowed down his pace, letting you ride out your high. He pulls out and wipes his fingers on his pants, his free hand gently stroking your abdomen.
You look at him, catching your breath, hair sticking to your forehead. Max chuckled “If you look this fucked out on my fingers, I wonder what my cock does to to you”
You bite your lip and reach out to him, fingers hooking into his belt. Max raised his eyebrows at you but smirks “Go ahead” He nods and you unbuckle his belt. He moves backwards on the bed to stand back up and take his pants off.
“You’re still clothed” You say, sitting on your knees now, tilting your head and pointing at his boxers. Max chuckled “Impatient, are we?” He smirks but you cross your arms “Alright, alright” He chuckled, taking off his underwear too and crawling back above you, pushing you back on your back.
You hold the eye contact but flicker to his lips. His hands reached for the nightstand and takes something off it. “You wanna do it?” You look at the condom. Where the hell did that thing come from and when did he even place it there?
But your thoughts were interrupted when max kissed your jaw “Hm?” “I wanna do it” You whisper “Alright then” He holds the pack up to your mouth and you gently grab it with your teeth, to not damage anything.
You both sit back up, and you rip open the package. You place it on his cock and out of the corner of your eye you can see his hands clenching, holding back from touching you. You smirks and roll the condom down.
Max squeezed his eyes shut and mumbled a quiet ‘fuck’ You keep moving your hand up and down his cock “Sweetheart, no- oh fuck” You thighten your grip slightly, making Max gasp.
“That’s not what- oh” His breath quickens “I’m just making sure it’s on properly” You smile innocently, and before you can say anything else, his hand grips your throat “You’re a minx. I’d be careful if I was you” “Oh yeah? What’re you gonna do?”
He smirks slowly and clenched his jaw “Nothing today. This is about you, but don’t think I’ll forget you being a little brat.”
You raise your eyebrows “Me? I would never” “You’ve never and you still..” Max cuts himself off “I forgot, you read” You smile “Not so innocent, are you baby?” He smiles and pulls you in by your throat.
His lips press against yours and he pulls away again, making you try and chase him, which doesn’t work with his hand around your throat.
He gently pushes you back down and presses gentle kisses around your neck, keeping your hips still with his hands.
“Max, please” He raised an eyebrow “Stop teasing. You don’t need to be a mind reader to know what I want. Please, I thought you wanted to make it up to me? “ You whine, making him press his lips together, nodding “I know, I know sweetheart. You’ll get what you want”
He lines himself up with you but looks up first “Tell me to go slower or stop, okay? You got the control on the pace” You nod, hand wrapping around his bicep.
He slowly pushes in, making you gasp. Your nails dig into his arm, making him hiss. Your scrunch your eyebrows together “Wait-fuck. A moment, please” Max stops immediately and looks up “You okay?” You nod “Just need a moment”
He nods and waits for your cue to move again. Your mouth opens in a soundless moan, which makes Max wrap his hand around your throat once again “Come on, don’t go shy on me now, Pretty girl. Let me hear you” You try to stop the restrain on your moans and Max stills inside you, once he’s in by the hilt.
“You tell me when to move, okay?” You nod, pulling him down for a kiss, your fingers tangling into his hair.
“Okay, you can move” He slowly pulls out and trusts back in. Your eyes widen as he continues the movement “Holy- Max” He chuckles and leans his head next to your ear, making you listen to his breathing.
“How are you feeling?” He says, quickly pecking your cheek “Good” “Yeah? Feels good?” You nod, eyes occasionally rolling into the back of your head.
“Told you we should’ve done this earlier- fuck” You grad the arm that is wrapped around your throat “Yeah? Bet you would’ve loved to be fucked everywhere, hm? Having to keep quiet if I actually fucked you in my drivers room, your own room or mine? Or on the italy vacation?”
“I don’t- I don’t know what you’re talking about” You get out between moans “No? Running around in those dresses, my god. And bending over every time I was around you? Total accident i’m sure” He growls, thightening his hold on your throat.
Your eyes roll into the back of your head once again at his action “you’re fucking filthy, aren’t you? If you like me chocking you, what else is it I will find when I fuck you, hm?” He smirks as you blush “Always the ones you thought were innocent” He chuckled as you silenced him with a kiss.
“Please, faster” Max gladly listens, picking up his pace and reaching down to play with your clit “Max- Oh god”
“You have no idea how long I wanted to do this to you. I don’t know how I kept away from you, but I won’t ever be able to ever again” Max’s breath gets heavier and his head hangs down.
“Harder” “Baby im already-“ “You’re not gonna break me” He lets out a breathless laugh “Jesus, you’re gonna be the death of me” He obliged either way and soon you could feel the pleasure creeping up on you.
Max felt your repeatedly clenching around him as his thrusts don’t falter “Are you close? Can feel you squeezing me so- oh my- fucking tight” You nod “Yeah? Wanna come on my cock? Be a good girl?” “Yeah, wanna be good- fuck”
He smirks at the effect he has on you, but his expression quickly turns into concern as tears roll down your cheeks and he starts to slow down “Hey-hey are you okay?” “Don’t stop, please max. Fuck, keep going”
It was then he realised you were crying because it just felt good “Not hurting, please I’m so close” He nods and picks up his pace again.
This time he picks up your hips a bit which earns him a loud moan “Oh- right there, max” He chuckled but continued pounding into you, as his own orgasm crept up on him.
“Yeah? Finally found it” He says more to himself than you but tries to continually hitting the spot, over and over again.
“Gonna cum, max. Don’t stop, don’t-“ “I won’t, let go baby. I got you, be a good girl” You pulled him down into a heated kiss as white hot please consumed every fibre of your body, your other hand gripping his shoulder, marking another part of him.
Your orgasm triggered his own and his hands grip your hips, probably bruising them slightly in the process.
His forehead rests on yours as you slowly come down from your high. Max slowly pulls out, which earns him a quiet hiss of you.
“Sorry” he mumbled and pulled the condom off to throw it in the trash.
* smut end * holy cow that was long 😭 Anyway.
“You want a bath or just lay here” Max whispered as he cuddled up to you “Just a moment. But a bath sounds nice too” “I’ll quickly turn on the water and be right back” You nod with closed eyes.
A few moments later you hear the water running and Max is back in the room, now in sweatpants “Why are you wearing those?” “Do you know how weird it feels to walk around naked?” He laughs and crawls back to you, pulling you onto his chest “Don’t fall asleep on me now. We still gotta clean you up”
“How can I not when you brush through my hair like that and cuddle me” You mumble “To bad, sweetheart. Still gonna have the bath” You don’t move and max laughs “Do I have to carry you?” “Mhm”
He chuckled again but picks you up “Let’s go then” You keep your eyes closed, leaning on his shoulder. “Can you open the door? My hands are quite occupied”
You smile and open the door. The warmth of the room immediately makes you feel even sleepier. He sets you down for a moment and closes the door.
“Come on, hop hop in there” “Don’t rush me” You say and hold a hand out “Yeah yeah” He picks you back up and you squeal “Max!” He slowly sets you down in the bathtub. He sits beside the tub and holds your hand, head resting on the side and looking at you.
“You’re staring.” “I know. But do you really care?” “No” You smile and look at him. His smile widens “Good.” He sits up properly to kiss you. Your hand draws shapes on his shoulder “Oh” “Hm?”
You chuckle “Did I do that?” You point to the countless scratches on his arms and shoulders “I think you did, yeah” He laughs “Even down here!” He looks at the lower part of his arm “How am I supposed to hide that?”
“Hoodie?” He looks at you deadpan “Hoodie? It’s like.. super hot outside?” “Then you’ll be smoking hot” He chuckled “You’re crazy” “Yet you’re still sitting here” Max nods “Yeah, somehow” You roll your eyes and lay back down.
comfortable silence fills the room. Max’s hand gently caressed your face as you calm down. You were right were you wanted to be, without any disturbance..right?
-
Holy shit. It’s been a while since I wrote smut, so go easy on me. Part 14 is still coming out tomorrow, no worries about that 🤭
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