#i feel like this one might be controversial

[thehopelessauthor]

Joel Perez doesn’t deserve to be judged or vilified simply because he voices a character who happens to be a rapist. Let me emphasize: character. It’s crucial to understand the distinction between a fictional role and the real-life person behind it. Acting is a profession that requires portraying a wide range of characters, often including morally complex or deeply flawed individuals. This is NOT a reflection of the actor’s personal beliefs, values, or character. The job of an actor is to bring these roles to life— not to be conflated with them. I wish more people could separate the actions of a fictional character from the person who is simply doing their job as an artist.

It’s truly disheartening to see how actors and voice actors are targeted for the roles they play, especially when their performances are simply a reflection of the story they are helping to tell. In the case of Abby Anderson’s VA — Laura Bailey — from The Last of Us Part II, she received an outpouring of hateful comments and harassment because of the controversial storylines and decisions associated with her character. This backlash often crosses the line into personal attacks, failing to differentiate between the actor and the fictional character they portray.

For example, in my opinion, I may hate and reject Ascended Astarion — the character — because of his personality and the evil choices tied to that version of his story. However, that does NOT mean I harbor any negativity toward his voice actor, Neil Newbon, who is, by all accounts, a kind and wonderful person. Neil’s role is to portray the character’s range, including darker arcs chosen by players. He performs his work with incredible skill and dedication, and that deserves absolute respect.

I find it essential to separate an actor from the character they portray, especially when the role involves a complex or despicable personality. For instance, while I think Valentino from Helluva Boss is a detestable character, I hold Joel Perez in high regard. I respect him as an individual and as a professional who brings immense talent and dedication to his work.

I believe that acknowledging the distinction between the actor and their role is important because it allows me to appreciate their craft without conflating their personal character with the fictional one. Joel’s ability to embody someone as awful as Valentino shows incredible skill, and I feel it’s only fair to recognize his professionalism and artistry, even if I have strong negative feelings about the character he portrays.

Conclusion:

It’s perfectly fine to feel excited about certain characters or even find them sexually attractive— if they’re ridiculously hot etc — that’s a natural part of engaging with storytelling and/or having an emotional connection with them. However, it’s crucial to maintain boundaries and respect the voice actors (VAs) who bring these characters to life. When admiration crosses into inappropriate territory, such as making the actor uncomfortable with overly personal or explicit comments, it becomes a form of harassment. This is especially concerning with characters that are intentionally hypersexual — the likes of Angel Dust and Astarion — but as the line between character admiration and VA respect can blur for some fans.

Let’s remember that VAs are professionals who deserve a safe and supportive environment. They’re not stand-ins for the characters they portray — sure! They might strike an iconic pose, crack a joke, or quote their character at Comic-Con, but at the end of the day, they’re real people too, with real feelings — , and bringing inappropriate comments to them is not only disrespectful but harmful. Instead, let’s celebrate their performances, platonically, appreciating their incredible talent and hard work while maintaining respectful boundaries. Be grateful that we get to experience their artistry and storytelling, and let’s show our appreciation in ways that uplift and honour their contributions.

Video shitpost by twt user mmskas_

[tojisun]

[head in my hands] diabolical hockey au just hit me rn-

thinking about being the specgru’s head coach’s controversially young gf, and most of the team are fucking enamoured.

so taken by how you look that, sometimes, they’d chirp at their coach (it’s nikto.. i have been bewitched 😣) about how maybe they’d get to focus if he just brought around his little sweetheart and nikto stares at them with pursed lips and deadpanned eyes before making them run lines for hours.

but nikto’s… intrigued by this. because he is the first to say that yes, you are a doll. god, the prettiest of them all - he still doesn't understand why you even chose him but it's not like he'll let you go anymore, darling. not a chance.

but mactavish's chirp is still bright in his ears that nikto realizes that maybe, just maybe, he can indulge the boys a little bit.

just a smidge. not enough to actually give them a taste, but just a spark; light up that hunger they're feeling, and maybe nikto can even get a reward for himself. maybe they'd finally lockdown on that powerplay or even solidify their defense, but whatever it is, nikto's quite excited.

it's not often that the solution to your team is right there, in the palm of your hands.

.

in the next practice, nikto pretends that nothing's changed in the routine. the boys are still doing their stretches, with garrick leading them to it, and the assistant coaches are gearing up for diverse set of trainings. keller, for one, already's got the backup goalie with him while they set up drills for him and price.

the practice goes on, with nikto amping up the intensity just so the reward falls sweeter than it is, before winding them down for the natural break. nikto gets off the ice while the team makes a game out of gathering up the pucks to dump them back into the bin, and he watches, almost with anticipation, as time trickles.

then, the inevitable-

you, bounding in from the locker rooms at nikto's message, and the team's attention easily being snagged.

it started with johnny, elbowing riley, then it was everyone turning to watch as you walk towards him you don't even give the others a second glance, laser-focused only on him. on nikto.

look at you. a room full of men who wants you and all you care about is him.

nikto feels his gums throb with something like pride, and he doesn't even notice that he's began posturing too - back straightened as he rolls his shoulders and stands up straight.

"baby," you breathe out, giggly almost, as you fold yourself into his arms.

"kotenok," nikto rumbles out, pulling you impossibly closer. sure, half of it is for show, but the stronger half is thrumming with obsession. with possessiveness and desire. because the team doesn't need to chirp for nikto to know how perfect you are.

the team's gone all quiet and laughably docile, and nikto would tease. would chirp back just to see all of them grumble at the realization that nikto can bring you around all they want, it won't change the fact that you don't even care about them.

but you're already in his arms and they're looking on with vivid envy that nikto dismisses the idea and calls for the end of practice.

that doesn't stop the boys from flirting with you, apparently - johnny catches up with you on his way back to the lockers, chatting up about your dogs like they're not nikto's dogs too. simon's brooding, quiet as he shadows you and mactavish on the way back, and only pipes up when you turn to include him in, like you're truly his weakness.

price is more subtle - stealing your attention as he stands beside nikto, like he is truly challenging his coach for his coach's girlfriend. it sort of works too because you're vibrating from where you stand as you ask him about his recent shutout - against washington - all starry-eyed like the fan you are.

but garrick. nikto thinks he might just be the worst because it's him who has you acting all shy, your eyes flicking up to kyle's face before ducking down as you busy yourself with the zipper of your jacket like you couldn't handle prolonged eye contact. it's kyle who speaks to you with such quiet timbre that you're visibly quaking when he leaned forward to whisper directly into your ear after another stuttered, "huh?"

it's kyle who walks away first too, and the one that had you tripping on your feet as you subconsciously followed even when nikto's already waiting by the car.

damn it. maybe he'll make garrick do suicides tomorrow.

[slocumjoe]

companions react to sole crying when they raise their voice at them

The actual, secret prompt here is "which of the companions would not die of shame on the spot"

Cait; Doesnt die, but does achieve a sort of living Purgatory. She's a rough gal. Sole shouldn't be so sensitive. C'mon, grow up! And then she remembers her own life, being screamed at. Astral projects into hell. Will recoil and try to make it better, calm them down. Even says sorry if they look really hurt and it's not just an instinct they have. Slinks around like a kicked puppy after, keeps her distance.

Curie; I really have to question who Curie can upset that much. Can Curie even raise her voice like that, enough to make anyone cry? Curie herself is also bewildered, beneath the immediate regret. Rushes to them spewing apologies, but its short-lived as she’s likely to start crying herself. She's empathetic, she's sensitive, and she feels bad. This is no longer an argument, it is a cry-sesh. Promises to never lose her temper like that again, and keeps that promise.

Danse; The spectrum of reactions this man has here...depends so much on how close he is with Sole. With just another soldier under his command, really disappointed. You are a soldier. He'll back off and let them calm down, then give them a stern recommendation to either work on it, or consider a different career path. A soldier needs to be able to take orders, or discipline, or anything in a harsh tone. That's just the work. But if they're close...the GUILT. The GUILLLLLTTT. Like Curie, tries to fix it ASAP, hugs them if they let him. Apologizes for weeks after. Would dash himself against the rocks if Sole would let him.

Deacon; Panic. Panic. Panic. Switches his mood on a dime, bounces from joking, to still angry, to worried, to guilty, to joking again, to angry again...not because that's what he's feeling, Deacon is horrified, but he just isn't sure what to...do? There's very, very little that could make Deacon yell. Like...something really bad. So he's conflicted. He just made Sole cry. What the fuck, me? But also...Sole, c'mon...Eventually just focuses on de-escalating, calming them down. They can talk—properly, with no raised voices—later.

Gage; Honestly, might start laughing. Not even to be dick. Just...what? This fuck cleans house in the Gauntlet, butchers Colter, takes over Nuka World, but...getting yelled at is what spooks them? Have they...not noticed that when they're killing people, those people are yelling? How are you alive, man? Like Danse, changes on relationship. If he and Sole are close, he shuts up, and walks the fuck away. He's pissed off, he's annoyed, and he's hurt someone that he cares about enough that they're in tears. And this person doesn't crack easily. Him sticking around is bad news. It'll be a while, and painfully awkward, but...he will try to apologize. Keyword, try.

Hancock; Freezes, awkwardly tries to get them to stop and calm down, before slinking off. Hancock is not what one would call "emotionally apt". Where Deacon at least can remember how to be that, Hancock has only really known...casual relationships? One-off things, people he just parties with...not really friends. Or loved ones, even. Besides, Sole probably doesn't want him around right now...he certainly wouldn't. Vanishes for a while, and next Sole sees him, it's with presents and an earnest apology, and a promise to keep his temper in check.

MacCready; Huffs, kind of rolls his eyes, but MacCready is already dropping whatever they were fighting about and trying to patch this up. Takes back whatever he said even if it was true. He doesn't hug Sole, doesn't want to crowd them, but does rub their back or hold their hand. If Sole goes for a hug, they get it. MacCready is, weirdly, one of the more emotionally mature companions; handles it better, processes his own feelings better, and works with Sole to find a solution both to the initial problem, and how they both solve problems together in general.

Nick; It'll be a cold day in hell before Nick Valentine really yells at someone in a way that would warrant crying. So...either Sole has fucked up so much that he no longer cares, sees it as guilt-tripping, or Sole is (seemingly) overreacting to a simple criticism or scolding. First instance, he, again, doesn't care. Sole is probably a murdering jackass. Second instance, immediately concerned. People don't just start crying like that over something that simple. Either Sole is hurting and stressed way beyond what he thought, or there's something in their past that makes this more than what Nick sees it as. He drops everything, has them sit, talks them through some breathing exercises, gets them water. Sees if they'll talk about their feelings, or what they've gone through. Says he'll be more careful if that's a sore spot for them.

Piper; I'm pretty sure I've said this before, but Piper tends to throw candy at upset people. She'll also freeze for a minute, but jumps into action once the shock and shame wear off. Fumbles between saying she's sorry and begging them to stop crying, c'mon, Blue, you know she didn't mean...okay, well, no, she did, and it wasn't fair, and she's sorry, just take the gumballs, they're cherry, they'll make you feel better! No, Piper, they won't. Will kind of coddle and baby Sole for a while, concerned that they might be in a bad place.

Preston; Much like Nick...Preston is not a yeller, and he's not an angry, lashing-out kind of person. He's much more likely to withdraw and get quiet. So like...the fuck did Sole do? If its not a moral failing, but instead just a human slip-up, Preston will back down immediately, go "Okay, we'll talk later, you're not in the right headspace for this," and make sure Sole gets whatever they need. Hot food, water, sleep, maybe a bath. They need to discuss this and Preston is not so soft that crying will deter him. Being too yielding like that cost him Quincy. But he's not going to push something already breaking.

Unless Sole did something fucked up fucked up, like...go join the Nuka World raiders, or whatever. Preston will straight up laugh at them then, and he will do it to be a dick. Really? You went and did that, but can't stomach the consequences? Wow.

X6-88; Also wouldn't raise his voice. He gets curt, and his voice gets...softer, actually. Like...scarily soft. Crying when X6 critiques you is not going to end well. He has shit to do, and discussing the issue was one of them. And now Sole is wasting everyone's time sobbing. Over what, to X6, was nothing more an objective observation. How do you expect anything to get done without a spine? I think it would depend on the kind of crying, but he'll either give up, frustrated, or not care and want to just get it over with. X6 wants the issue resolved or at least discussed ASAP. He can't put everything on hold because Sole is weepy.

[bicheetopuff]

I’m on chapter 11 of From the Sidelines…

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

Just want to say: a, I admire very much that you've figured out a healthy way to work on your fics that allows you to have fun with it. And also b, am very excited to hear that you are getting there with pez! It has fully given me brain rot ever since I read it last year, there is just such a lack of content for the highly specific trope of using time travel as a device to explore extremely unhealthy levels of self loathing.

I just adore everything you're doing in it. Neither midoriya is anywhere approaching okay for any portion of the fic and I love rereading and mining into all the subtle characterization pointing to that. It's a bit like nhtycth in that some really goofy funny stuff is often hiding some really fucking worrying things, but the fact that characters DO do that stuff—that todoroki uses his teaspoon's worth of extremely stunted social skills to bludgeon his friend's door open and help him, that a rpf shipping war is an actual source of drama despite how goofy the sentiment seems on the surface, that about half of what jon says is deeply worrying and the other half is extremely funny and there's a lot of overlap between the two—really lifts the tension and brightens the universe. It's sort of similar to what you did with gerry, in that endless misery isn't nearly as painful as the ups and downs of a life that, when you step back and zoom out, has something deeply and horribly wrong with it.

(jon sort of reminds me of spider-man in that he uses human to deal with trauma and stress, except I don't think he at any point realizes how fucking funny he is. He's just there, in a home depot, gnashing his teeth because he's got so many bodies to dispose of and this cashier sure is taking her time.)

I really, really, really have had trouble finding fics that take everything midoriya has dealt with to task. It's a hell of a thing to live 14 years as a disabled minority, have it heavily shape your existence, and then one day you wake up and you realize you're...not that, or at least, nobody will ever acknowledge you as that again. You've lost all claim to it. Those experiences that shaped who you are? Dust in the wind. 14 years of pain and life might as well be buried in the ground for all the good they do you. Nobody's going to cut you any slack or quarter, you've gotta simply work harder, be better. And now when you do that you get the results you wanted, so that's fine, then. That's good. There was something wrong with the you before, and there's something right with the you now, and if the transition is a little rough, well that doesn't matter, you're the same as everyone else now, so it's your own job to fill in whatever gaps you need to.

I really can't get over how mentally fucked it must be for midoriya to run into quirkless people, run across quirkless issues, and be silently caught between, incapable of speaking his mind and too scared to do so anyway around those he can trust.

Also I should mention, I'm just very excited for bakugou to get back from the gym. He's been there like a year I hope he's getting a good workout in.

Me realizing that it’s been a year since pez dispenser debris:

I feel like there’s just this very specific type of grief that Izuku has to grapple with in the span of pez dispenser debris that I’m just obsessed with. He’s sort of silently mourning who he could have been, when 1) he has to present like there’s nothing lost to maintain his secret and 2) the entire world is constantly inundating him with the message that there was nothing lost.

Like. I don’t want to get too deep into it because it risks spoiling things and I do have major plans to continue it (I’ve loved this story for so many years before I ever even hit publish), but the emotion that Izuku’s feeling right now is so much more complex than “I hate who I used to be and want him to stop existing” or “I just want to keep my secrets.” And I think the way he interacts with Mirio is the biggest evidence of that.

Izuku’s placed himself at the very center of the Quirklessness debate with his support of Mirio. He fights for Quirkless heroes, very publicly, to the point where he’s not even graduated yet but considered to be one of the most prominent voices on the matter. If you took a poll of Quirkless people as to which hero would be most supportive of them pursing their own career in heroics, Izuku would be right at the top of the list. When it comes to Quirklessness itself, he’s nothing but supportive.

But he didn’t tell Mirio the truth of his own Quirklessness.

Out of everyone, Mirio’s the one everyone expects to know, despite him being a relatively newer relationship compared to someone like Iida or Uraraka or Todoroki. And I tried to imply that he’s sort of the one who knows the most about Izuku out of everyone save All Might.

Like, we’ll get into how much exactly Mirio knows soon, so I won’t divulge what, if anything, Izuku has told him. But we know that Mirio knows, weirdly enough, that Izuku is deeply fucking haunted. He knows that boy has many violent ghosts in his bones. He finds it hilarious and will tell their realtor about it. Izuku told him about the discontent spirits who died in a violent passion and live on inside of him before he told him about his Quirklessness.

And I just feel like one of those things is a little bit easier to discuss than the other.

Izuku has decided to keep his own Quirklessness quiet in a way that surpasses secrecy about One for All. If it was just about OfA, he could tell people he didn’t get his quirk until the entrance exam, and it wouldn’t even be a lie. He’s purposefully obscuring his own past as Quirkless even as he takes a forefront of the Quirkless hero debate with his open support of Mirio.

And the fact that he’s at the forefront of this debate in and of itself requires a difficult dichotomy. He is the world’s most vocal proponent for the first Quirkless hero. He is a known figure in the Quirkless community now.

He isn’t considered one of them anymore. He’s an outsider coming in.

It must be such a strange, odd sort of grief to come to the people you were home amongst for most of your life and be greeted as a stranger. To return home, and to be welcomed in for the first time, and to not even be able to tell people that you’ve lived here all your life and don’t need a tour.

It’s a sort of death of self, I think. And I think Izuku never expected to have to grapple with his own ghost.

[thereadingaddic7]

[luckykittysshowerthoughts]

Simeon's Punishment

I want to start this off by saying that I agree with the masses that Season 4 was VERY poorly executed. I honestly have actual trust issues with the writers after how that season was handled, to the point that it actually prevented me from getting into Nightbringer until very recently.

...that said. I think that beneath the poor pacing, vague wording, misplaced focus, lack of closure, hidden signals and all-around awful handling, there is something here that deserves to be analyzed. So I'm writing this because I want to decode whatever the fuck the writers were going for. So, here we go.

The reason for Simeon's punishment was... confusing, to say the least. Yes, he did steal from the Celestial Realm, and from Michael personally. However... the reasons he did so are not only just, but reasons Michael should have personally agreed with. Even if Michael didn't give a damn about MC, he very clearly still loves Lucifer- and if Simeon hadn't done what he did, MC would have driven that knife straight through Lucifer's chest. What Simeon did saved the life of one of the most important people to Michael... not to mention protected the Celestial Realm. MC's ring of power was dangerously close to destabilizing all three realms, with the effects already starting to hit the Celestial Realm. What Simeon did was in the best interest of everyone, including Michael and the Celestial Realm. So, why was he punished...?

Well, this post is going to take a similar direction to my post about the fall. It wasn't actually meant to be a punishment at all.

When you look at Simeon's situation from a lens of punishment, certain details don't add up. It wasn't like Michael left Simeon out to dry. He sent arguably his most important angel, Raphael, to ensure Simeon's safety. He reached out to and to some extent collaborated with the Devildom- which he's made clear in the past that he distrusts and dislikes- just to keep everyone on the same page about Simeon and his protection. These acts don't exactly scream "punishment".

Then there was what Michael said to MC in season three- "I have to think about Simeon as well, after all."

This reads to me like Michael is- albeit subtly- angsting over the situation. Like he's still actively looking out for Simeon and his best interests, in his own way. It certainly doesn't sound like someone who has ill will towards him or is apathetic about his wellbeing.

Raphael doesn't seem particularly unhappy with Simeon over the whole thing either, and we all know how much of a stickler Raphael is for rules and doing the "right" thing. His full support of Simeon the entire time tells me that this is a little more complicated than a broken rule.

So... what exactly happened?

It's made very obvious that Simeon being turned human was because he stole the ring; that isn't up for debate. But that doesn't necessarily mean it was a punishment. What I think happened was that the incident made Michael realize a few things about Simeon- and that this was a long time coming, it's just that the situation with the ring was what made him feel that Simeon was better off not being an angel.

In the act of stealing the ring, Simeon made a very loud and clear statement about where his heart truly lies and what's important to him.

If his first and foremost thought was to be a good loyal angel, he would have let that dagger go straight through Lucifer's chest for the "greater good". Lucifer would have died, and MC would be worse for wear, but the Celestial Realm would be safe from the chaotic magic MC possessed.

...but that wasn't what was important to Simeon. That wasn't what mattered most to him.

What Simeon did saved the Celestial Realm, but that's not why he did it. He did it to save Lucifer and MC. That was what was important to him. His heart doesn't lie with the Celestial Realm, not anymore. It lies with MC, and with the brothers, and with the spirit of the exchange program- the fight to make bonds between the realms work.

I'll get into MC and Lucifer in a moment, but for now, that last point. His full and undying belief in doing what's best for all three realms. In Nightbringer, if MC tells Solomon that they want to find a way that's best for everyone instead of choosing between the demons, angels, and humans, it raises intimacy levels not with Solomon, but with Simeon. Who wasn't even in the room or anywhere near them at the time.

That is who Simeon is.

And the rules of the Celestial Realm confine him from doing what he was meant to do, the person he wanted to be.

As an angel, Simeon was only allowed to even see Lucifer and his brothers due to the exchange program- he wasn't allowed to venture down to visit his dear brother freely; in the original game's timeline he likely went centuries without being able to contact him.

He was even more restricted with MC, with whom he had to express clear restraint to avoid lustful sinning. Though most of the examples of this are locked behind Devilgrams (one of the many ways in which this whole arc was poorly handled)- one example I remember was one of his birthday cards from the year of S4 where he's shown sending MC away to hold himself back from "temptation". He couldn't love MC in the way he wanted to love them, because he was an angel.

And the relationship between the realms? Well, he can't do what's best for everyone if he's bound by the strict and oppressive rules of one. The rules that a very drunk Simeon in the devilgram "Simeon's Hidden Side" confesses were severely burning him out. The rules that, in Season 2, he spat in the face of with zero hesitation to pursue what he truly believed in. Simeon is a free spirit, one being slowly strangled by the Celestial Realm's jungle of rules and restrictions.

I don't think Michael did what he did because he was angry with Simeon. I think he did it because he knew it was time to let him go.

But that may not have been what he said. We all know by now that Michael isn't the brightest socially-speaking. When even Raphael, the most tactless being across the three realms, calls you socially inept, that's saying something.

I think what Michael meant to say was that the incident with the ring made him realize that Simeon is better off elsewhere. But what came out was "this is because of the ring"- which bears some very obvious negative implications. Especially when spoken to someone who is most likely in immense shock from the daunting situation they're being faced with. Simeon may be great at reading people and interpreting their motivations under normal circumstances, but it's very likely a part of Simeon's brain just turned off the moment he learned he was going to be human- honestly, who could blame him.

I think the whole "punishment" aspect was, largely, a miscommunication. Something that's backed up further towards the end of the season.

When Satan asks Simeon if it's because he stole the ring, Simeon's answer is rather vague.

"Something like that". That's... a rather strange response. It's rather roundabout. It indicates that it's a little more complicated.

Then there was what Simeon said later in that conversation.

"You-know-who has been waiting for me to figure that out."

Michael's been waiting for Simeon to realize why he actually did what he did. It wasn't about what Simeon did, but who he was. After all, as Simeon says, "this is who I am".

In short...

Yes, Simeon's transformation into a human was because he stole the ring. But no, that doesn't mean it was a punishment.

Simeon's act wasn't just a broken rule, it was a statement about who he is and where his heart lies- a statement that made Michael realize that he's not meant to be an angel. But when Michael said that he was turning Simeon human because he stole the ring, that was not what was gotten across- an in-shock Simeon interpreted it as a punishment, and viewed it as such until the end of the season where he realized what Michael actually meant.

And, honestly, I'm alright with this. I still have a bone to pick with the writers regarding how it was handled, I could rant for ages about that, but I can appreciate the idea itself. My only real concern now is that I hope Simeon keeps his angel lifespan. If he doesn't, then turning him human is essentially indirectly killing him down the line- which has moral issues I can't overlook or justify. That's really my only big problem here after looking at it under a microscope.

I'm also noticing a trend here, if my analysis is in any way accurate. It seems like Michael is the kind of person to make very big, very strange, morally dubious decisions that start to make a lot more sense when looked at more closely. It really lends credence to Simeon's whole "he does everything for a reason" thing. It's a part of Michael's character that I'm interested in seeing where it goes- but hoping for no more Simeon angst in the process, please. Please don’t hurt my boy again.

But, that's my two cents. If this doesn't make sense, it's because I wrote this in an ADHD-induced frenzy at 4 AM and apparently didn't edit it well (or at all) in the morning. Either way, I'll go ahead and claim my title as this hellsite's biggest Michael apologist before anyone can stick it to me. Kitty out.

[knowlesian]

i keep trying to organize my thoughts about the us election and i’ve got a lot

anyway one of them i feel solid and secure on is “i still do think guillotine jokes are understandable and nowhere even near worth making a hill to die on but are alongside that probably not the best general tone to set given the specific context and my own personal beliefs on centering change and growth and pushing for a better future whenever possible over punitive measures focused on the past

…but goddamn i wanna make some guillotine jokes right now”

[autisticlee]

sometimes people who struggle like to make jokes or find positives about their condition that causes them to struggle so they can escape the constant negative and struggle. sometimes autistic people will say things like "the 'tism" or use the "autism creature" or say their autism helped them have a *positive trait* to feel better about their struggles. because living your life only focusing on the struggles and negatives is depressing and makes it hard to want to live, even if those struggle take up 100% of your life and you can't actually escape them. sometimes any little seemingly positive thing can help a lot.

but there's so many other autistic people that hate when we do that and call it "reducing autism to a cute trendy thing" and say it takes away from *their* struggles and is bad and shouldn't be used. maybe *you* want to only focus on your struggles, but some people can't live in constant negative and need some positive or to find ways to make their condition more positive so they can feel better about living with their struggles. life is hard. I take anything I can get.

I cant get jobs. I can't make and keep friends. I can't get help and support for doing "normal" things so sometimes I go weeks without being able to shower and without eating more than a bowl of cereal a day. most times can't even do things I like. struggle to communicate. have meltdowns. i'll never be able to live independently. I struggle a lot. but instead of sitting here always depressed and having no motivation to live, i'd rather try to joke about "my 'tism is acting up again" when i'm struggling (just an example. don't think I ever actually used the 'tism thing but i saw others use it) or say "i'm just being a creature" when I need to stay in my dark room because everything is too much and I personally find it cute to be a little creature meant in a positive way. i'm not actually downplaying mine or anyone else's struggles. I still acknowledge them and that silly jokes dont make them go away. i'm not trying to be trendy. i'm not doing any of the things people say we do by making silly little jokes. i'm using the silly little jokes to convince myself life can be a little more than pointless, painful garbage all the time.

(continue in tags)

[batsplat]

from the stuff i’ve heard marc’s former honda teammates (dani jorge and pol in their media careers but joan also i guess) say about him now that they’re racing is generally quite positive, both on a professional/riding level but also seemingly on a personal level? i’m wondering what you make of that given that, yeah, marc doesn’t seem like a very good teammate (unless you’re alex who i’ve left off this list). like MARC wants to separate on and off track stuff and it seems like all of these guys are willing too at least in retrospect, so he can’t have truly burned bridges with them. do you have any thoughts on that

(x, x) most riders are quite good at not burning bridges with each other! it's not like marc's competitors don't know that this stuff is kinda part of the game. I mean, all of marc's past teammates were also trying to assert themselves within the internal hierarchy... you can say that certain teammates engage in 'worse' behaviour than others, but, like, these people do understand they're supposed to be fighting each other! a baseline degree of nastiness is factored in and will be accepted to a greater or lesser extent by your rivals - especially when it comes to asserting yourself in intra-team power struggles. you might hate the other guy in the moment, but generally speaking once the active part of the rivalry is done with... you will probably get over it. marc's fellow riders are aware of how ultra-competitive marc is - and to a certain point they do respect it, not least because they're aware that this is part of the reason why marc has ended up with all those titles. it's like dani said, right, it's marc's strong suit. and in general, you do have to say that there's relatively few teammate pairings that devolve to the level of toxicity that it completely destroys the interpersonal relationship. you might need some level of preexisting animosity... most of the purely competitive sins can be healed with a little time

on the 'separating on-track and off-track' thing... well. this is kind of a question of how you define these things, you can say that marc generally speaking isn't going to massively hold grudges over isolated on-track incidents or whatever... but he doesn't just leave his fighting to the track, and personally I've also never felt he can entirely separate these things out in his mind. can you really say his professional and private relationships with other riders are completely detached from one another? mostly, he's opted to be pretty disengaged from his fellow riders as a collective, and obviously that's a good way to not take things too personally... it's all part of the game, isn't it? sometimes it's good to go with the straightforward approach: marc tells you he will make your life hell, he does indeed make your life hell, and then you both move on with your lives and can maybe actually have a pretty amiable relationship with him in years to come. he's not really defying your expectations at any point here, is he now? it's still a question for each of them as individuals as to whether they think that kind of behaviour is above board and acceptable or not... but everyone by now knows that marc plays these games, so it's not like they're going in blind

and it's not like other former teammates are constantly badmouthing each other. I mean... look, let's just cut to the chase here and bring in valentino as our reference point (as he is for the sport as a whole, which by the way does also help create a certain baseline of acceptability for marc's antics - maybe goated riders are just supposed to be dicks who knows). vale's premier class teammates were 1) nobody (2000-01), 2) tohru ukawa (2002), 3) nicky hayden (2003; 2011-12), 4) carlos checa (2004), 5) colin edwards (2005-2007), 6) jorge lorenzo (2008-10; 2013-16), 7) maverick vinales (2017-20), 8) franco morbidelli (2021), and 9) andrea dovizioso (2021). of these eight men (let's just exclude 'nobody' for now), do you know how many had serious complaints at any point about valentino as a teammate? that's right, it's one guy. one. some of valentino's other teammates, like hayden, checa and edwards, were even quite actively positive about their whole experience. this is the thing - you do need some specific circumstances for teammate rivalries to escalate from 'being kinda bitchy every other month' to 'actively fantasising about stabbing each other'. not accounting for natural interpersonal animosity, let's list some circumstantial factors that you need to get a bridge-burning-worthy level of feud:

you need a competitive bike. it is possible to beef about development direction when you're in the trenches (cf late 2010's yamaha, 2020's honda)... but generally speaking this is going to be quite low-level petty stuff, not actual war

you also need something that approaches competitiveness between teammates. if one teammate is unquestionably stronger than the other one, then it is very unlikely that you are going to get any open hostilities. the tension comes when the two sides are close enough to each other for the internal hierarchy to actually be a contentious issue (this is also basic self preservation... if you're the far weaker teammate then you do not want to make the situation troublesome, because then you will be the one to be fired)

following on from those first two things... well, it doesn't hurt to have a title fight in the mix. there are also other ways you can generate competitive stakes, like, for instance, if you and your teammate know that one of you will be out of a job soon. basically, it helps to have something to squabble over

it is maybe easy to forget how rare it is this century for teammates to be fighting directly for a title, let alone over the course of multiple seasons. only two 1-2's since the year 2000 and they're both for the factory yamaha's (though 2006, 2011-13 and 2017 did all prominently feature two factory hondas). which means that for valentino, the prerequisites were met just the once in his premier class career... and yes, the results were pretty memorable, but (topic! for! another! post!) it's worth pointing out that even that relationship was pretty much 'fine' whenever there was a sizeable disparity between the two of them performance-wise (2008 and 2013 are the most clear cut examples). I think the way I'd frame it with marc is that he has a bunch of mildly dubious strategies up his sleeve to assert himself within the team, which don't really deviate that far from what you'd expect from a rider of marc's calibre and only need to be escalated under specific circumstances. that doesn't mean he doesn't have the potential to be ruthless, but up until now it's mostly been a fairly 'acceptable' level of ruthlessness on the intra-team level... and not something that is likely to make other riders actually hate him

taking marc's teammates one by one... dani was the closest to meeting the bridge-burning prerequisites, though he was only a title rival in marc's rookie season. and marc did go further with him than he did with anyone else, and dani has made some pointed comments about marc's style as a teammate... but yes, he is fonder of marc these days. partly I'd just emphasise again that this is a fairly natural progression when you've stopped directly competing for long enough, and partly it's also just a question of individual personality - dani's not massively into holding grudges. then there's jorge, who... I mean, they might as well not have been teammates, given that jorge was either too slow or too injured to even be sharing any track space with marc. you have to put that one down primarily to circumstance, seeing as jorge's own track record on the teammate front isn't exactly spotless. marc and jorge beefing in 2019 would have been pretty dumb and also a massive waste of everyone's time in a year in which marc singlehandedly won the team's championship. even those two needed more to get things going

moving on to the dark years, pol and marc had an extremely stop-and-start partnership on a honda that was generally pretty uncompetitive... so the only stuff they could get ever so mildly irritable about were riveting incidents like 'marc saying pol wasn't the biggest championship threat' (neither of them were) or 'pol saying he'd copy marc's set up' (which proved entirely useless). not exactly title decider territory, is it now, and marc very much had pol covered as a challenger throughout their partnership. also, those two do have a longer history! they've known each other since they were kids and hold a pretty significant place in each other's careers. now that pol's more or less retired, it's natural there'll be quite a lot of sentimentality there - which will paper over any small cracks that appeared during those two years. and joan was a one year teammate at a time in which the bike was consistently close to offing them both. they only managed to start a sunday race together as teammates on thirteen occasions. it would take some serious effort to engineer a feud with that little opportunity, and, really, why on earth would you bother. maybe if honda had gone for rinsy rather than joan for the factory seat, it could've been a bit more prickly, but it's unlikely that it would have escalated beyond that

this is the thing, right, the only one of these partnerships that would have been worth burning bridges over was dani, and even there marc pretty much had him handled after the first season. in general, marc has been pretty clear on how he's not interested in making friends with the other side of the garage while the teammate relationship is ongoing... which is fine! there's some prominent-ish teammate pairings that are actually good friends, some teammate pairings where one of them is actively helping out and advising the other one, but some riders prefer to just keep their distance. it would have been a little silly of marc to start a feud with a teammate who is galaxies away from being a competitive threat, let alone a title rival, but generally it is possible to toe the line between 'attempting to suppress your internal rivals enough to stop them from becoming a problem for you' and 'taking radical enough action to make your internal rivals despise you'

especially in the post-dani era, marc never really had any need to push things too far... and, let's face it, how many of your teammate relationships end up with burnt bridges is also quite frankly a question of luck and circumstance. do you want to guess which top rider on paper has the worst track record this century with premier class teammate feuds, in terms of a) how many they've had, and b) how little public reconciliation there has been since the end of the rivalry?

yes, that's right, it's the first name that comes to mind when you're thinking of toxic and conflict-prone riders: andrea dovizioso. that old devil, constantly causing trouble. just couldn't stop undermining his poor, innocent teammates. can somebody please stop this ruthless bully before it's too late

I think you get the point. I would personally suggest that dovi is not in fact the worst teammate it is possible to have in a motogp top team. he just happened to find himself in a situation where he was teammates with two separate guys he did not click with at all, in situations that involved a pairing of riders who were (or had the potential to be) competitive with each other, as well as some proper stakes attached to the rivalry. in general, situational factors are going to determine this stuff more than anything else... and marc more often than not does have a reasonably good feel for picking his battles. he's flirted with the line, but he's mostly avoided crossing it. he hasn't had to

[bi-leth-eisner]

it's my job to make sure that each character I come across who, by all means deserve every last bit of kindness and warmth after all they've been through and yet, as they're drowning in love, can only hurt in all areas: deep down in their heart, in the back of their mind, and on the surface, because they feel like they deserve none of it, feel adequately loved without it feeling wrong or undeserved

[fennthetalkingdog]

You know, when I was first researching neurodivergence (and autism and ADHD in particular) and wondering if I was, in fact, neurodivergent, I brought my conclusions to my mom and she said:

"I mean, you're gifted, right? So you already are neurodivergent???"

So here's to her (kinda) and her words. Giftedness is a neurodivergence, in my opinion. From what I've seen, a lot of the traits overlap with common autistic and/or ADHD traits too, especially regarding overexcitabilities, and a lot of researchers talking about the topic describe giftedness with the same kind of "your brain is just made differently" and "you're just wired differently" language as they use for other neurodivergent conditions. But I also say this because I've seen some gifted people who, while struggling with some "autistic/ADHD traits," don't have all the traits necessary for an autism or ADHD diagnosis. Giftedness is a label for them that encompasses the struggles they have without saying that they don't struggle enough or forcing them to try to fit into a mold that isn't them. And I get that; when I was first questioning, I didn't think I had enough autistic traits to count for a diagnosis either, so I took comfort in a "gifted" label. (Not to say that all gifted people are just autistic people and/or people with ADHD that don't realize, or that all gifted people are just people who don't have enough traits for a diagnosis! That was just the case for me and the folks I've been around, but I've also heard the case of it not being that.)

But if I am gifted, then I also have autism. A lot of my struggles are, honestly, just better described by autism than just by a byproduct of giftedness. My struggles with people and with "being too much," my sensory differences (and yes, sometimes issues), my stimming, and some of my executive dysfunction all sound like autistic traits to me more than a mix of psychomotor and sensual overexcitabilities and a whole bunch of coincidental byproducts of my being gifted and hanging out with nongifted peers. Don't get me wrong; based on my family history, background, and traits, I honestly probably am gifted lol. But it's not just that.

So this is me saying that if the people around you are saying that you're just gifted, you're free to look for other, perhaps better explanations for your feelings and experiences. But if you are just gifted, you're still free to call yourself neurodivergent! My gifted traits lead to me feeling just as ostracized sometimes as my autistic ones, so who am I to police that label?

[sonknuxadow]

the fact that sonic x shadow generations costs 50 dollars makes me even more confused about the pricing for sonic superstars . because for a second there i thought they were going with the nintendo system of "all our games are 60 dollars now regardless of quality or content" now since frontiers also cost 60 and that price tag felt more reasonable there. but no sxs gens costs 50. which means that 60 Isnt the new default price for sonic games and they actually thought superstars was worth that much. okay

[svtskneecaps]

ok folks this lives and dies between us but i swear to god with every passing moment and every new fact i learn i am more and more convinced that had i spoken portuguese at age 11 when i got into minecraft youtube the first time i would BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DOUBT have had a tiny little baby 11 year old celebrity crush on pactw

[keicordelle]

I challenged myself last November to try to post more unpolished stuff and without letting things sit in my drafts for months before actually posting them, which I did... Okay at, for a while. But I've fallen out of the habit since, so maybe I'll try to do that again this year

[averyreaderofmanybooks]