#i feel like shit mentally and physically

[mischiefmanifold]

haven't cried this much in a long time

[alaskan-wallflower]

vent tw

[naamahdarling]

You know what? You know what I think?

I think that if we lived as we were meant to, in larger intimate ("extended family") groups and with more shared labor and time to do it (UBI NOW) people like me would not feel so useless and burdensome because there would be people around to help and to do what neurodivergent people can't while making valuable space for the neurodivergent to do what they ARE good at.

The way we live right now, all right, the way we live right now forces units of two adults to be able to do EVERYTHING or PAY to have someone come do it for them. I have to do the housework. I have to do it! But I am having to do a million different things and most of them I am not good at. I suck at them.

I wouldn't feel like shit, okay, if I had more than one other person around who was not a child and who could do the things I can't, like do the yard and cook and do repairs and basic maintenance; and someone else to split everything else that I like but is too much for me. It would free me to do what I am good at and enjoy. Cleaning, as in the sink and toilet, the windows, the blinds. Taking out trash. Folding, hanging, and sorting laundry.

But because all the shit I can do often relies on other shit being done first, and I can't do or have trouble doing those things, the shit I can do often can't be done. And even the shit I can do, I can't do ALL of it. So I can't keep up, and things get very bad.

We aren't meant to live like this. We are not meant to live like this.

That thought hurts so much because being able to flee the birth family is integral to survival for so many people. I'm so afraid that living in larger family groups would create more opportunities for, say, queer kids to be isolated, rejected, bullied, and abused. But if we gave people enough money to survive, and stopped considering children the property of their parents with no system in place to help them escape bad situations except a system that is often just as bad, just different.

I'm aware that communes and collectives aren't all that successful and are kind of a joke. I don't mean that. I mean a fundamental shift to multigenerational families where taking in "strays" (which my family did) is also normalized so people escaping abuse into existing households was accepted, with these families centered in maybe a couple of different larger residences so not everyone has to buy and maintain their own fucking washing machine and vacuum cleaner, and so people can benefit from large group meals that yield leftovers, and so child and elder care can also be centralized.

Then disabled people and the neurodivergent and sick and injured people, and pregnant people, and grieving people, would not have to either labor through all those stressors or consign themselves to living off an unlivable pittance or being put under legal guardianship.

I'm not saying anything new. People live like this in other parts of the world and maybe it sucks and I am wrong. But I'm just really mad right now because I can either do laundry or clean the sink but not both, and I really think we could improve society somewhat by making it so I did not have to choose one without sacrificing the other.

[dykedvonte]

I think a big misunderstanding is the power people give Curly to actually change things about the way the pony express operates or could’ve done things on the Tulpar.

We are talking about a company that docks pay for bad synergy despite mandated psych evals that should tell which staff members would work well together, only allots for 5 hours of sleep despite having literally no other tasks to truly do and locks all resources behind the access of one person. The last one is likely to manage resources and make it easier to justify collective punishment and blaming one person for it; someone needs something in “excess” or the captain gives in? It’s all on them your pay is docked. Instant resentment.

It’s insidious how the company works, it’s by design to distract you from coming after them, to force tensions to line their own pockets. With all the restrictions and forced interactions, altercations are bound to happen. 5 hours of sleep a day, limited sources of entertainment, no real tasks… the monotony alone would cause bad cabin fever, mix that with just only one absolute mediator and you get the exact environment that allows shit like in the game to happen.

The idea he could just complain and try to throw his weight around to get them to dig into their pocket for the crews comfort is laughable and misses the predatory and dehumanizing aspect of capitalism the Pony Express represents. Curly was and is still just another asset to them. Being a top show pony doesn’t mean he’s anywhere close to the actual top. He is the top of the working ladder, not whoever’s in corporate, he wouldn’t even be on the bottom step unlike what Jimmy perceives. The resounding recommendations he would get are almost mocking as they throw him out like nothing just like the rest. Being a shitty fucking company, how much do you bet they’d mean anything anyways, especially since he wanted to leave the field all together.

He made a fuss and they didn’t listen, he says he should’ve done more but you can tell he knows it wouldn’t have changed anything. Jobs like this are willing to make a sacrifice if it means even a penny more. Curly makes a bigger fuss they likely would’ve just found an “unrelated” reason to fire him, hired a more pliable guy or, terrifyingly, promoted Jimmy. The company was failing, going to shut down whether anything happened on the ship or not. But knowing that they were shutting down and that everyone, including him, would be out of a job with this being their last paycheck, he had to factor in not destroying the last bit of their financial stabilities combined with every other issue on the vessel and his own. He gets another cryopod or locks and then he has to break to them that they are not only fired but there will be substantial cuts to their paychecks due to the “upgrades” (things that already should’ve been in place on their part) on top of anything else that could be docked along the way.

You can blame him for saying it so early into the trip but then again, if he mentioned it later who’s to say it wouldn’t have been worse? On the capitalism side alone how would people in a galaxy away from home, out of a job and already stir crazy react? Don’t get me started on how Jimmy would have reacted if he realized he only had two days left to fix what would be a very hard to miss “problem” in his head…

I can’t even consider explaining this as devils advocate because it’s just facts of the world we and they live in and factors that heavily affected the situation. People are just so quick to make claims on the ease of the choices when P.E literally makes it hard to choose to do anything but suck it up.

[ganondoodle]

the company i work for decided that its switching from the german formal "You"(Sie) to the informal "you" (Du) in all of our websites so now we have to scour the entire database to change it and i quite frankly hate that, not just bc the unecessary extra work but especially bc its such a weird and unecessary change

i bet its bc everything here is getting englishfied (both literally and culturally it feels like, when my new boss talks its half in english bc every second german word is just replaced by an english one despite there being perfectly fine words for it in german too, its so annoying) and bc they want to sound more personal in hopes of getting more clients bc 'company is your fwiend uwu!!', i know this here is the amercian tm site so you wouldnt understand really but i do not want to be greeted with 'du' by companies, no, thats too personal, you dont know me and im not giving you my data, stay away!!

i guess thats how i would describe it .. the formal you is like a polite distance, like someone you dont know staying outside your personal space, but when its the informal 'you' it feels invasive unless i told you you can call me that, and that goes double for companies

maybe its a small thing that doesnt seem important but i cant stand it, im just a little part time worker doing data work so i got no say in it but the companies founder also announced hes giving his post to his kids some time ago so ...... since then theres been alot of changes and new projects that solely aim to imitate whats popular and whats done by other companies, despite ours being one that is, or used to be, intentionally different, like, that was the POINT, but i guess chasing trends is just too appealing for CEOs

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

me stubbornly forcing myself to drink green tea and rest from my THIRD COLD THIS MONTH

[cent-scratchnsniff]

it was just going to be a few warmup doodles but then she infected the rest of the page like the ever eternal and spreading spores. hod!!! hod. hod :)

[phoe-ix]

It will take me seven million years to shut up about martren

i am fucking obsessed with him

it’s been maybe ten minutes and they’re all i can think about

fucking insanr

split personalities?

split design?

split with his bestie and or possibly lover?

they def gave each other a little smooch every time they left the base

ohhhmyggodddddd

Huijll,jhg

martren my beloved

dna abomination

my little guy

new blorbo alert

yeah

POST ABOUT HIM MORE IRIGHT NOW POST ABOUT HIM GKFGHJUYIOJKBHVGUYI8U9IJOKBHVGIYUOP9IOJ

[pseudophan]

got nothing done today except accidentally deleting all my files off the computer and having to recover them so basically i need to be frankly insanely productive tomorrow so i can go to my granddad's birthday on friday without stressing. of course there is no chance in hell this will happen but i can pretend for a little while longer

[katyspersonal]

Lrb dear god, this reminded me of that time when Alfred-chan got sooooo mad at my post explaining why fans should respect bisexual headcanons for Maria and Malenia instead of pretending like they're canonically lesbians and that they get oppressed and erased by mxf ships with them. They kept vagueing that post for like a MONTH in their blog including in tags under reblogs of Maria fanart, passively-aggressively changed their url to character+sexuality to "spite" me and then even made a sockpuppet account to start shit with me in the comments.

They deactivated when me and Val completely obliterated their "you cultivate lesbiphobic following by telling people why they should respect all sexuality headcanons instead of acting cultish or assuming their experiences and stereotypes equal canon confirmation" garbage with actual facts and logic tho but I screenshotted everything fjthfgfj (I learned to document everything the hard way after they've changed the she/they pronouns to they/they pronouns ONLY to accuse me of misgendering, so thank you for making me wiser I guess 😎). Even more vile, as they, a white person, larped as an Arab in that sockpuppet to hold even MORE "privilege" against me in discussion gjtjfh Because for them race, gender or sexuality are just badges of honor and dishonor, they don't see these as traits of actual human beings. And Dr Eugene X, who worked with them and weaponized her race to accuse everyone who disagreed with her of racism, didn't bat an eye at such a terrible act too?? As usual, rules are not for their friends, lol

It is not even the worst thing Alfred did, and yet all of this just, just, JUST because I wrote a point on why bisexual headcanon people did nothing wrong and there is no ground to claim something is canon when it isn't. 🤦‍♂️ Like, they were soooo convinced that I hated lesbian headcanons and that I'd feel angry if they called Lady Maria a lesbian, when what I was angry at is this exact toxic behavior in the fandom. No matter how much you like a headcanon, don't be a bitch about it. Maria doesn't """belong""" to any gender or sexuality, she belongs to anyone who likes her and is invested in her complexity as a character!!!

Yet, apparently, common Malenia simps / Finlay shippers are no better than common Maria simps / Mariadeline shippers. Just, wild how after shit like this, many people have the guts to claim that it is "sexist redditbros" who are the biggest problem of creators in the fandom. 🤦‍♂️ They'd actually blush if they encountered what such self-proclaimed "feminists" do to their own (!!!) over headcanons. 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

[rolandkaros]

forever hilarious to me that tennis is promoted as this prestigious highbrow big-brain sport when most tennis fans these days are like. yeah this is my favorite player. yeah i don't know why they're like that. yes they are stupid. no i will not choose somebody else.

[callmesel]

I zone out when I was in the shower and had a full AU idea

Fred is a terminally ill cancer patients and has one last chance to "survive" and is a high risk surgery where they need a high compatible donor.

The first thought it's for George to help him, as they are twins and are basically genetically identical. However, George can't do the surgery because he just got out of a terrible accident that leaves him too weak for that type of surgery but good enough to continue his life as "normal" (he still has to take a bunch of different pills so his immune system is full of those different elements that can become a health hazard to Fred if they proceed with the surgery)

For plot convenience tbh, none of the other Weasleys are good enough candidates so they are desperate to save Fred. They are a family of fighters, they are not gonna let Fred just die. There is one family member that could save Fred and that is Percy.

Percy left the family after a heavy fight with Arthur were, after none stop rumours of Percy 'sleeping' his way into his position into the government and of making fun of his family with other high executives, accuse him of such acts. Percy offended and hurt, leaves, saying that his boss was right and that they are just keeping him from truely take off. That happened over 3 years ago and no one knew where Percy was.

So George, taking matters in his own hands, was determined to track down his older brother to save his twin.

Thanks that Ron and his bf Harry worked in the police force, they could see that Percy was still in the country and that he probably was still on England.

George disguised himself as a brunette and even got help to change his face (fake piercing, tattoos, marks) anything to make it more difficult to recognise. And after a long play were they manage to find Oliver Wood, who's Percy's friend, after jumping all around the place.

They are in a high class event, that shock George, and he sees Percy so he slowly approached him. All that pain from all those years were about to erup on him when he saw something, Percy looked happy?

Months goes by and George and Percy become friends (Percy did not know that he was talking with his brother) and George finally builts the courage to ask about his family. He finds out that Percy has a wife and two beautiful twin girls and that he is going great. But then, he starts taking about the Weasleys. George is prepare to hear awful things about them, but no. Percy is not saying nothing hurtful about them. In fact, it sounded like they were a great family. But then again, things take a turn and Percy, drunk because they were drinking at his house, opens up about the fight and George discovers much more.

How he felt ignore by everyone just for carrying the Weasley name, how he felt disconnected from them some one. It was too much to bare for George so he told who he actually was and Percy was astonished. He screams and begs for George to leave. He pushes him to the door but right before closing it George manage to speak and starts telling him all that has happened and that Fred is dying from cancer and that he needed his help.

That stops Perce for a second but then Audrey, his wife, asks him if everything is all right, and Percy gors back to himself and closed the door on Georges face.

George screams at his door and tells him that he knew that he was a coward all along. That he is selfish and a p*ssy and that he is ashamed to has a bastard as his brother.

A week goes by and George finds Percy at his door. He was about to close it but they start chatting and there is allt of frustration going on that lead to no where so Percy leaves again.

I don't know how it ends because like I said, I made this on the fucking spot as I showered and I'm trying to recall everything I was imagining. (I'm my head it was a beautiful animation with Die with a smile at the background) I didn't imagine a scene of Percy visiting Fred in secret and being caught by Charlie who was visiting to try to see if he was compatible (bc he couldn't do the test before) and Charlie decides that he is not gonna tell anyone and talk to Fred first.

I think that Fred should die at the end, to ass more salt to the wound so yeah. Hurt and no comfort, love that.

I want Fred to meet Percy's girls and be excited but passing away anyway. i want them to bond and then die or smt like that. Might write a fic about it.

[pansyfemme]

ugh i might have to get a caffinated item before my internship. it may be legally required today

[dykedvonte]

Honestly I see Jimmy's refusal to put Curly out of his misery less about his weird feelings of envy or his delusions but the fact Curly is all but stated to be a shield to Jimmy from his actions and people seeing the worst in him.

The only characters that Jimmy really interacts with one on one before the crash are Curly and Anya, two individuals he has wildly different relationships with. It's likely that Curly really did most of the talking between them as the pilots and the rest of the crew as staff. They didn't know of Jimmy's more reprehensible behaviors cause they never really had the chance to and Jimmy is subconsciously aware. If they had disliked him more than Anya would have told Swansea earlier or even Daisuke when things got really bad.

It's why he takes the immediate opportunity to blame Curly; He's the shield. He's saved Jimmy's ass more times than he can count and more times than Jimmy would ever admit. Even when he can't really do it anymore, he mentally shields himself from his own faults by putting Curly between them. Letting Curly die puts too much on him because he doesn't know how to function without a safety net.

In the end Curly only lives because Jimmy needs the idea that Curly will inevitably make things better to stay alive, meaning Curly has to live, no matter how much it pains him to do so.

[nightbeforethend]

IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!!! 😁 (December is my least favorite month because it’s when I have to face the fact that I’m getting older and more stressed out and more tired with each passing year but like… my birthday being this close to Christmas is so cunty so I’ll take the wins where I can get them)

[unionizedwizard]

they werent lying about the emotional side effects of HRT though. i legit can't remember when was the last time i cried