#which i think can in part be related to the loss of the one-handed-backhand

[rolandkaros]

forever hilarious to me that tennis is promoted as this prestigious highbrow big-brain sport when most tennis fans these days are like. yeah this is my favorite player. yeah i don't know why they're like that. yes they are stupid. no i will not choose somebody else.

[drethanramslay]

26, 58 and 61 for ethan x mc please? like angst in the beginning but fluff in the end. thanks!! i love your fanfics btw i read it like 100 times and i can’t seem to get over it.

Aww thanks anon ☺️ and thank you for the ask ❤️❤️

You can find the prompt list here.

#26-“Are you angry…?”

#58-“Where have you been?!” 

#61-“I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have done that, you can look after yourself…I shouldn’t have…I’m sorry.” this prompt is in the form of a text message 

Author's note: okay anon I know you wanted a fluffy ending BUT, I decided to write it as a continuation to Hard for me i.e the prompt in which people demanded asked for a part 2

So forgive me for the ending

Word count: 1.2K

Warning: none, it's just angsty as hell

Cry for me

The next one week was painful. 

Ethan's confession in the lift had left Leah in a flux of emotions. On one hand she was joyous that he returned her feelings and that he was all in.

But on the other hand she felt gut wrenching guilt which slowly started eating away at her sanity. She was in a relationship with Bryce. She had a freaking boyfriend but that still didn't stop her from pining for Ethan.

She was so lost in her thoughts half the times, zoning in and out of conversations. Bryce could see something bothering her so he slowly formulating a plan to cheer her up.

"Hey Princess?" Bryce asked as they drove to the hospital.

Leah snapped her head towards Bryce. "Yeah?"

“Are you angry…? Did I do something wrong?"

"Of course not, queen B!" I am angry with myself and the world.

"I just... Can't see you so down and lost. You know you can talk to me, right?"

I don't think I can talk about how I am completely and utterly in love with my boss and the fact that he returns the sentiments.

"Yap I know. It's just been a stressful week, y'know?"

"What if we have a movie night today?  We can eat junk food and laugh on trashy movies?" Bryce spoke up as they got out of the car.

"That's exactly the thing I need. Thank you Bryce." Leah smiled at him and wrapped her arm around his waist, giving him a side hug.

Bryce gave her a breathtaking smile and wrapped his arms around her. "Anything for you Leah."

As they stood there, with their arms around each other in the parking lot, Leah failed to notice a pair of stormy blue eyes burning into her back.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------- After changing into her scrubs and grabbing a coffee from the coffee cart, Leah made her way towards Ethan's office. June and Baz were sitting and drinking coffee, pouring over the charts while Ethan wrote on the whiteboard.

"Good morning team." Leah greeted them with a smile.

"Good morning, Leah!"

"Good morning, Dr. Garcia."

"You are late. Where have you been?"

Leah's eyes snapped to the clock above the whiteboard.

8:00 am.

"I was getting the charts. And I am not late. We start the meeting at 8am." Leah said as she placed her laptop and coffee on the table.

"Dr. Garcia, this is not your 9 to 5 corporate job where you enter and leave at a given time. You are a doctor and time should cease to exist because our patient's life is in the palm of our hands. Every minute you spend wasting time, that much is cut from our patient's life. Have you forgotten your Hippocrates oath?"

Leah wanted to answer back, but she bit her tongue. NOT worth it Leah, calm down. 

So clenching her jaw and swallowing down the humiliation, she responded in a curt voice. "Yes Doctor."

"Tardiness in not acceptable. Is that clear?" 

Baz interrupted, trying to diffuse the situation. "Ethan she wasn't even that lat-"

Cutting Baz off, his icy eyes bored into her angry hazel ones. "Dr. Garcia, am I clear?"

"Crystal." Leah spoke up, glaring at Ethan.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------- And that's how the entire day continued. When working the case they were like a well oiled machine but outside in the hallways, they would glare at each other as if they wanted to kill each other.

The tension between Ethan was so thick that you could cut it with a knife. They butted heads throughout the duration of the shift that even the staff noticed.

Leah felt like a ticking time bomb, threatening to explode. Anger, frustration and pain is a very dangerous cocktail together, and now she had all of them whirling inside her like a tornado.

I'm gonna fucking confront him. That son of a bitch has it coming. Leah thought to herself, her teeth grinding.

So when she saw Ethan head towards the stairwell, she followed him.

"Dr. Ramsey, wait up."

"If it isn't patient related, don't bother me."

Leah rushed after him and grabbed him by his elbow with incredible strength, causing him to stop and turn towards her.

"What has gotten over you Ethan?"

"I don't know what you are talking about." He crossed his arms and stood there, towering over her.

"You are a smart guy. Acting dumb doesn't suit you. Now, let's try again, what has happened that has made you so pissed with me?"

"Rookie, I'm not mad at you."

"Yes you are!! You said Rookie in B flat and that only happens when I have royally pissed you off. And last time I checked I haven't done anything wrong-"

"What you did wrong, was crash into my life. What you did wrong, was try to cheer me up on a bad day. What you did wrong, was comfort me in my pain. What you did wrong was have faith in me when I was in doubt. What you did wrong, was make me fall for you."

Leah's jaw dropped. What sort of backhanded compliment was that? Clearing her throat and squashing the butterflies in her stomach, she spoke. "Ethan you can't say things like this to me."

"Why not? It's the truth. I like you way too much for my liking." He said in a low voice.

Leah threw her hands in the air. "Because, I am in a freaking relationship! You had your chance and you blew it. Don't Gove me mixed feelings now."

"I-"

"No now you will listen. You pushed me away. You said that you wanted space. You wanted my professional development. You wanted things to go back to normal. This is the new normal, okay? Accept it."

For a first time in a very long time, he looked helpless and guilty. "I was so wrong sunshine..."

Leah stuffed her hands in her coat and looked down at her lavender converse. She was at a complete loss of words. If things would have been easier she would have kissed him and hugged the sadness out of him.

But life is complicated. And everything has a price.

"So that's it huh? So..." Gulping Ethan continued, "You are over me?"

Silence.

Her brain was screaming at her to say yes and to move on from the angsty and painful chapter of her life. But she could not get herself to say it.

"If things were not as fucked up as they were... Do you think we would be a thing?"

Sighing she patted his arm. "I think you are smart enough to figure that out."

Leah side stepped him and climbed down the steps and opened the door of the stairwell to find Bryce standing there, a deer caught in the headlight expression on his face.

Leah greeted him, curiosity laced in her voice. "H..hey?" 

Bryce immediately turned and started walking away fast.

"Bryce wait up."

This is some deja vu.

Bryce stopped and turned towards her, pain shining in his eyes. "Is it true?"

"What?"

"That you have feelings for Dr. Ramsey."

Shit shit shit. An alarm went on in her brain which caused her to freeze up.

"I-" Leah started but she was interrupted.

"I heard everything."

Leah took a deep breath. Cat’s out of the bag. No point denying it. "Please don't jump to conclusions. I-" her pager beeped, signalling that a VIP patient had arrived and she sighed.

"I need to go now. I will talk to you tonight. Please don't do anything rash. I beg you."

Without saying a word, Bryce shrugged and walked away.

Why is does it feel like the two important men of my life walked away from me in a span of 2 minutes?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was nine in the night and Leah was finally done with her rounds. Wearing her jeans and jumper, she tied her hair long black locks into a messy bun and stared at her reflection in the mirror.

Letting out a breath, she gave herself a pep talk. Okay Leah... You have to make a decision. You are not Hannah Montana. You can't have the best of both worl-

Her phone pinged, interrupting her. She picked it up to see that it was a text from Ethan. 

Letting out a sigh, she picked up her messenger bag and walked out of the hospital, only one thing running in her head.

Who do I listen to? My head thats telling me that Ethan will hurt me again and that Bryce is better? Or my heart which tells me that Ethan is my one shot at true love?

It was painful to write this 

Also the last part got 88 notes so lets get this to 90 notes so that I have motivation to write part 3 heheheheh 

what do you think will happen in the next part?

ALSO GIVE ME SUGGESTIONS FOR WHAT I SHOULD NAME THIS SERIES

I love you guys 

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Ethan x MC Taglist: @ethandaddyramsey @edith-eggs1 @pixelberryownsme @samihatuli @loveellamae @x-kyne-x @paulfwesley @zeniamiii @binny1985 @an-urban-witch-ig @ramseyegerton @mrsdr-ethan-ramsey @newcolonies @theodorepjames4 @unluckygs @choices-love-affair @kaavyaethanramsey  @caseyvalentineramsey @ohramsey @squishywizardhq  @junehiratas @lilyvalentine @itsgoingnuts  @choicesfanaf @humanpokemon @temptress-of-death-and-desire @rookiefromedenbrook @courtesanofedenbrook  @hatescapsicum @sanchita012 @edgiestwinter  @fabi-en-ciel @mrsdrakewalkerblog @elwetritsche75  @livingpurpose @drramseysownsme @queencarb @andromedasinclaire @schnitzelbutterfingers @thanialis @floatingmeera @rookieoh @ethanramseyswhore @lucy-268  @big-yikers ​ @have-aheart ​ @whimsicalreader @tsrookie @itschoicesfanaf @lilypills @mals-chesthair @raleigheffingcarrera @utterlyinevitable @choices-fangirl-yeet @rookie-ramsey @papinaveensbitch @custaroonie @helloayzcream @hyperlightgrifter

[kylermalloy]

Silent Comedy (TO) and Hostage (TO)? 😄

Hello dear! Thank you for the ask!!! 💙

Silent Comedy is what I’ve been calling the modern AU where the Mikaelsons are a foster family. Mikael and Esther started fostering children after their own daughter died, though they never recovered from the loss. Mikael drinks heavily.

Klaus and Elijah are half brothers (although neither of them ever acknowledge the half part) who were taken away from their birth mother after their youngest brother died. They bounced around foster homes for years before Esther scooped them up. In this AU, Klaus is deaf and speaks mostly with his hands (hence the “silent” in “silent comedy”)

Finn, Kol, and Rebekah aren’t biologically related to them, but they all see each other as family. (Mostly family. To quote The Umbrella Academy: “If you have to use the word ‘technically’...”)

Mikael isn’t particularly fond of any of the kids, but he harbors a particular ire for Klaus and his silence.

This was originally a one-shot, but I kept developing new ideas in my mind. For instance, what happens when Elijah turns 18 and he can move out with Klaus? (It’s only in this part of the fic that the actual words to Silent Comedy start to have anything to do with the story lol.) How do they fare, living all on their own? (Hint: not well.) How does Klaus form adolescent and adult relationships, having grown up isolated due to disability and disenfranchisement? (Hint: not well.) What is he willing to do for validation? How do his relationships with his siblings develop through adolescence, with no concept of normalcy or boundaries? How does he deal with the effects of Mikael’s abuse? (Hint: NOT WELL.) How might he react to a classmate accusing him of getting her pregnant? (I am screaming at this point. Help me. This was supposed to be a one-shot. IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A ONE-SHOT.)

Anyway, have a snippet!

Elijah doesn't remember much about his real mother. He only had four years with her, only has the vague, blurry memories of a child from his first home.

Her name was Cassie, he knows that. He remembers her short dark hair, the constant bags under her eyes, her slim figure, unhealthily thin even when pregnant with his little brothers.

He and Niklaus had different fathers, neither of whom they could have actually called that. Their mother raised them alone—until the accident. This is the sharpest memory Elijah has of their mother: the day they lost her.

The day she called 911, holding her pregnant belly and groaning in pain. The day they learned that their littlest brother had died before he was even born. The day the men had come to her hospital room, asking her lots of questions about how much she worked, how long she left her boys alone, how often they ate, what pills she was taking.

The day ended with Elijah sitting on a bench at Child Protective Services, the overhead lights blindingly bright, a plastic bag of clothes beside him. His legs dangled above the floor while he clutched his baby brother, barely a year old, to his chest.

Elijah doesn't think he's ever quite let go of Niklaus after that.

Listen, you are in luck, because I couldn’t decide which snippet to post. So here’s another one:

Rebekah came to them as barely more than a baby, with angelic curls and a swath of freckles across the bridge of her nose. She cried often, long stretches of screaming sobs that flushed her cheeks an angry red—leaving Mikael in a foul, irritable mood.

Niklaus was often the one to hold her through her episodes. Her piercing screams didn’t bother him, and having just started school, he needed the comfort as much as she.

Hostage is literally just an excuse for Klelijah h/c. That’s all there is to the fic. In their human years, teenage Klaus and Elijah are kidnapped and tortured by some enemies of Mikael. They spend days on end in states of pain and uncertainty, with only each other for solace. (And for torture, given their captors quickly figure out hurting one of them hurts the other just as deeply)

Snippet:

“The sons of Mikael.”

The tall one, Njal, knelt to survey them. There was a hunger in his eyes that made Elijah uneasy. “These two, they’re good. Not even grown.” He forced Elijah’s chin upward, studying his face. “This one, just barely. Perhaps.”

Elijah felt his lips twist in disgust. He jerked away from Njal’s hand and spat at the man’s craggy face.

The man backhanded him across the face in response. Elijah’s sight exploded into dark stars. He tasted blood.

“‘Lijah!” Niklaus’s cry was strangled. He reacted viscerally to pain, even if it was not his own.

Ask me about my WIPs!

[echodrops]

The issue for both writers and creators is they actually have to be vague or misleading when talking about their content to not spoil it. If we take A:TLA as an example. If they were to come out with "Aang and Katara are end game" they would be severely backhanded by Nickelodeon and risk punishments from the big name company. I hate shipping wars even while working in the industry but it's hard for us to shut them down without risking our lively hood. So we have to mislead to keep our jobs.

(Anon, I’m really sorry that this is getting dumped on you, but this is an issue I’ve been thinking about for a while, so I kinda went off, oopsss…)

I’m actually fully aware of non-disclosure agreements and the policy behind limiting information that is released to fans, so while I definitely appreciate the sentiment and understand that things are really difficult for the studios and “little guys” on any production team, I absolutely draw the line at buying the idea that fans need to be deliberately misled in order to protect show writers and staff.

There’s a right way and a wrong way to interact with fans and field shipping questions, and the fact that so many shows, book series, and other forms of media exist out there without experiencing the major problems that have affected shows like A:TLA and Voltron is proof that some productions manage fan and media relations very well and others definitely don’t. Aggressive shipping wars and fan behavior bad enough to attract mainstream media attention aren’t the standard experience of most production teams, so when they occur, it is almost always at least in part because of poor management of public relations on the creators’ end.

You won’t see me defending “fans” who cross the line and actually harass or send death threats to each other or any member of a production team, obviously not, but in today’s media environment, it’s a huge trend to make producers and writers out to be victims of their fandoms, whose questions and requests are treated like invasions of privacy and/or infringements on the writers’ creative freedom that must be actively and constantly defended against, a careful balancing act where the staff must constantly avoid ever giving away too much while the rabid fandom accosts them with an unstoppable hoard of demands…

But this is an illusion deliberately fabricated by some production teams to manipulate fan interest.

Media teams act like purposefully misleading audiences is a necessity because fans ask such invasive questions, oh what can we do, they won’t leave us alone about endgame ships! But this is smokescreen that ignores one basic truth: at the end of the day, creators and production teams (should, if well-managed at least) get to choose which questions get answered and which don’t.

Answering questions on social media or in a professional interview? Screen them in advance. Don’t answer questions that require dishonest answers.

Voice actors or writers going out to a convention? Give them strict rules for what they can and can’t hint at. Hell, even answering completely unscreened questions at cons? “I’m sorry, I can’t answer that without spoiling the story” is always a viable response.

A basic “We don’t answer questions about shipping” policy is, in fact, something that production teams also absolutely have the power to choose!

Even as you yourself note, crew members typically have professional social media accounts and can control when and how those accounts get used–they can choose not to respond to fan questions at any time.

Ergo, the choice to offer misleading answers to fans, particularly about relationships, is just that: a deliberate choice.

What’s really going on here is this: Most production teams can’t completely ignore fan questions and still keep fans hyped about their shows. Most creators and teams want and need to interact with and drops hints for their fans to stir up interest, keep people excited during show downtime, or just in general get people talking and speculating about their works. The more strung-along the fans are, the more tension, anticipation, and speculation teams’ provoke, the more active a show’s fandom becomes–and therefore the more a show profits. A quiet, inactive fandom does not attract additional viewership by word-of-mouth, does not move merchandise, and does not prevent loss of viewership over extended waits between seasons.

In short, creators and production teams actively profit from “stirring the pot,” from causing some tension and provoking anticipation/excitement in their fans. By dropping hints and teasers of what’s to come, by answering fan questions that expand on the series’ world or characters, the creators give fans more to talk about–and therefore can anticipate more talking about their show in general.

“Buzz” is money in the bank.

And production teams have discovered that nothing provokes buzz among online fans as quickly and productively as shipping. Targeting relationship-hungry fans (typically female fans, by the way) and stringing them along with hints, teasers, and red herrings about endgame ships is absolutely a profit-producing venture for show writers and teams nowadays. Getting ship-happy fans all excited about potential romances in your show, so much that they’re out there writing online manifestos, creating fanworks for your shows’ characters, talking to all their friends about it? #DOLLARSIGNSSSSS. Creators, both manipulatively and non-maliciously, actively capitalize on networks of online fans, especially fanwork creators like fanfic authors and artists (both of whom often focus on relationship-related material) to generate additional interest in their shows and therefore produce greater revenue in the long-term.

It’s basic logic: tease your fans -> generate more buzz about your show -> attract more attention -> profit.

(I don’t mean to say that creators are only ever thinking about making money, obviously–of course they naturally want to interact with fans because doing so is intrinsically rewarding and fun. Naturally creators are excited and want to interact with their fans! But that doesn’t mean that it isn’t ALSO a very specific, very obvious way to increase the popularity of one’s work.)

So sure, it’s all well and good to say “We can’t tell you the truth because we can’t spoil the show!” but let’s not act like that’s the only reason writers and show staff drop vague and misleading answers on their fans.

Teased fans, anticipatory fans, hopeful fans, hyped-up fans, obsessed fans… These are the “whales” of viewership, the ones who flood your show’s convention panels, buy your show’s merchandise, haunt the media for even the tiniest tidbits of new info on your work… These are the kinds of people who sit down and force everyone they know to watch your show too. They’re exactly the kind of fans you want to court and keep the attention of. And production teams know that they can keep and inflame the attention of these fans, in large part, by hinting at exactly the things those particular fans want to hear–whether or not they ever intend to fulfill on the things they’re hinting at.

By carefully sprinkling out hints–even and often intentionally misleading hints!–creators increase the tension and interest among fans to deliberately capitalize on their energy, investment, and willingness to continually, obsessively talk about the show.

Say it with me guys:

Shipping wars are money-makers.

It’s not just a matter of keeping secrets to protect the little guys. It’s a matter of keeping secrets and misleading fans intentionally to produce more revenue.

Creators don’t have a vested interest in being honest and open with their fans because they actively benefit from secret-keeping and misinformation.

And you know what?

I actually think that’s fine. I can’t even imagine a world in which every writing team came forward and said ���Here are spoilers for everything and every relationship in our story, so you guys don’t have to fight over them!” Obviously the entire concept of spoilers exists for a reason–most people don’t WANT to know every twist, turn, and relationship in a story in advance. We LIKE being teased, we like hunting for hints, and we even like being strung-along as we get to experience the anticipation of satisfying plot twists still to come.

No one is asking for a full plot synopsis in advance.

But there IS a right and wrong way to drop hints for fans, and some obviously right and wrong choices to make, especially when creators become aware that their fandoms are becoming aggressive and hostile. Creators absolutely have the power to make bad situations in their fandoms much, much worse, and a blanket “It’s not our fault; we had to be misleading!” is nothing more than a way of passing the buck and pretending like production teams don’t have a major hand in setting the tone for their fandoms overall.

Of course fans are accountable for any of their own bad behavior, but poor public and media relations absolutely have the power to poison fandoms and incite aggression. When you deliberately yell “Fire!” in a theatre, you can’t claim you’re not responsible for the chaos that follows. When you bring up politics at a family dinner, you can’t act like the argument that follows wasn’t your fault.

The intentionally “vague and misleading” things creators say have profound impacts on their fandoms, and therefore creators and production teams have a responsibility to interact with their fans in a professional and mindful manner.

Of course you want to tease and trick a little! But it’s remarkably easy to do so in a non-damaging manner:

Instead of:

“Character A might end up with Character B OR Character C!” (obviously inflammatory)

It would be perfectly reasonable to answer with:

“Character A is going to have a romantic arc by the end, but let’s just enjoy that story line as it comes!” (teases and excites fans without fueling conflict between fan groups)

Instead of:

Character A and Character B are totally compatible! (obvious ship tease)

Say:

We planned for all our characters to be compatible with each other to build interesting dynamics between everyone. (redirects attention toward your story’s overall goal without lowering any shippers’ hopes)

Instead of:

Oh I can’t tell you too much, but I can tell you Character A and Character B are going to have a lot of ~mEaNiNgFuL~ interactions in the future! (obvious bait)

Say:

We’re really excited about where our characters are going in the future, especially [insert company approved spoiler-ish tidbit here]! (gives fans something new and exciting to talk about without leaving them feeling like they’ve been tricked)

Get explicitly asked about a ship by a fan and for some reason absolutely have to give an answer? Saying “We can’t spoil any romances that might or might not happen, but we wrote the story the way we thought was best, so hopefully you’ll enjoy where it goes!” gives shippers hope without making anyone feel like they were promised something that was never going to happen.

And good lord, have you discovered there’s a serious dispute brewing between groups of your fans? Uh…  Have you tried not giving answers that deliberately favor one ship in one interview and then conflicting answers that favor the other ship in another interview, leaving your fans confused about your stance? Have you tried uhhh… redirecting fans to your plot or world-building and getting them hyped about things you’re actually planning to include in the show instead of relationships you never intended to make good on? Have you tried uhhh… maybe just NOT dumping fans from the frying pan into the fire by commenting further on ships you already know are causing tension?

There are plenty of ways for production teams to be vague and avoid spoilers without disproportionately raising fan expectations and contributing to conflicts between fan groups. The copious companies who manage popular shows without their fandoms dissolving into public death threats and toxicity so notorious that people who don’t even watch the show know about it are perfect proof. Some creators and production teams are just really, really fucking bad at PR, and that’s a problem! That’s a problem that contributes to serious and sometimes even literally dangerous issues among fans. If you’re in the industry, as you claim, that’s something you should and need to be aware of and take responsibility for.

Like, I’m not in even in PR, but it doesn’t take a degree in communications to figure out that there’s a very obvious line between the type of teasing that’s going to contribute to a productive, positive fan environment and the type of baiting and misleading that’s going to foster divisions and frustrations among your fans.

Of course it’s not always the creators’ or team’s fault when a ship war starts! These things can’t always be predicted and we’re all just human. People slip up and blunder when interacting with others all the time. Mistakes happen. But when the creators actively contribute to a ship war, fan the flames, encourage both sides, and either deliberately or carelessly hype up fan expectations they know they have no intention of fulfilling (as was the case with both A:TLA and Voltron), they’re increasing and encouraging the hostile environment in their fandoms–sometimes very intentionally to reap profits off obsessed fans.

So like, I get it? No one is asking for creators to be less vague or drop all red herrings. No one wants the entire story spoiled in advance.

But as a viewer, I do expect creators and production teams to demonstrate professionalism in their responses to both other media and directly to fans. I expect them to respect their viewers and to tease their fans in a genuine, responsible way that doesn’t promote conflict or make implied promises that will never be kept simply to turn a profit off of hopeful fans.

Most importantly, I expect creators and production teams to be aware of the impacts their words and answers have on fans, and to be accountable for those words and answers. If creators choose to interact with fans, they need to do so in a way that isn’t actively harmful. That should be pretty freaking obvious to everyone involved.

Will PR blunders and social media mistakes happen? Of course, always.

But is kicking a hornets’ nest–say, teasing that ship you know is never going to happen, when you’ve heard through the grapevine your fans are already divided about it–ever really a mistake?

No sell, buddy. 

tl;dr: Expecting professionals to handle PR… you know… professionally isn’t outrageous.

[guessmonsta]

College AU with Tendou and this girl he's really into. Just a lot of deep conversations, millenials doing millennial things and low-key angst. Do whatever the hell you want with this, I'm sure it'll be great ♡

Okay at this point y’all should know letting me go to town with a Tendou promt is gonna end up… special. Thank you so much for this ask by the way. I owe you my life ♡

This was his worst nightmare. He didn’t know how he could possibly wind up late to a one o'clock class on a friday, but somehow, he found a way to do it.

Nobody gave him any odd stares as he slinked through the open doors at 1:27, much to his luck. That didn’t stop his nervous system from roiling, though. He couldn’t help but wonder why today, out of all the days of the year, (although the school year had only being going on for a week and a half) everyone in his literature class decided to show up. There wasn’t an empty seat open, at least, nowhere in the safe zone. The only open area he could see was front and center, and he would rather die than be placed in a situation like that. At this point, he figured if nobody saw him, he could just turn around and head home.

Although, that wasn’t the case.

Through his clunky reading glasses, the professor stared him down. He didn’t say a word but judging by the malice painted on his face, Tendou knew he was going to be in deep shit if he didn’t take a seat. He bowed, and as quick as possible hurried into the open seat in the front. The professor payed him no mind after that, he was one more irrelevant student out of 200. Although, the student next to him seemed to mind him very much. She had her chin rested in the palm of her hand, blowing small gum bubbles whenever the professor had turned his back. She kept sending Tendou a coy side gaze, and he’d be lying if he said it didn’t put him on edge. His options were to either confront her about it and have the ordeal be over with, or stare her down right back. He went with the first option. Clearing his throat lightly, he leaned his cheek against his wrist and shifted himself in front of her line of vision. When she made eye contact with him, it was almost like her entire demeanor vanished. Tendou smirked.

“Any reason you’re staring at me, hm?” He expected her to shake her head and look away, maybe even scoot down the bench a little bit. He wanted her to be afraid of him, it’s what people who gave him dirty looks deserved. He expected fear, but there wasn’t any. Instead she kept a steady gaze and smiled bashfully, the apples of her cheeks flushing generously.

“I’m sorry if I was looking at you funny, uh, you can’t help a r.b.f.” She giggled nervously, her gaze shifting away, “I was looking at your hair, I… I really like it.”

Tendou had not expected this at all. Really, he was almost at a loss for words. He had gotten a set of passive aggressive insults ready and everything, but they were in no case needed. She complimented him. He must’ve made an odd expression, because her eyebrows turned up in confusion.

“Well, uh, thank you.” Is what he managed to splutter out, nodding his head and slowly turning back to the front of the room. The professor was rambling but Tendou hadn’t paid attention to a word he said. The only thing he could think of was the girl sitting next to him. Who was she? She had been the only person to send him a positive vibe on campus, and even if it hadn’t been such a tremendous compliment, it was a lot better than a backhanded “monster” remark. Much better.

Tendou made sure he’d never wind up late for a lit class again. That Tuesday he huddled through the doors at 12:55 with the rest of the class. For some reason, he had been looking out for her, even though he knew he shouldn’t. She was just a person trying to be nice, trying not to make a situation more awkward. She could hurt him, and he didn’t need that. But the moment he saw her already sitting down in the front of the room, blowing the same pink bubbles as she did last time, he made a beeline towards her direction.

“Hey.” He said, placing one hand upon the open desk to her right. “Do you mind if I sit here?”

“Not at all!” She peeped, moving her bag closer to her side, allowing him more space to sit.

“Thank you.” He nodded, throwing his bag onto the floor next to him.

“My name is __, by the way. It’s nice to meet you again.”

“__, huh? The name’s Tendou.” He hadn’t been making eye contact with her but he could see her staring at him from the corner of his eye. He liked her, but he didn’t. He refused to believe that she was being nice to him, truly. There had to be some sort of strings attached, some ploy she was scheming, he solely believed she was all but nice. He hated his trust issues.

Class resumed per usual, mostly spent on discussing a popular book everyone had read in high school. He spent the majority of his time on Reddit, not like anyone really noticed, though. Just as fast as it had come, it was now over. He rushed to pick his bag up off the floor before he felt a pat on his shoulder. He turned back around and cocked his head, stank eyes meeting those of a doe.

“Do you have any other classes today?” She inquired, shuffling with her own bag as he did with his.

“No, why?”

“You… wanna go grab a coffee with me or something after this?”

This definitely caught Tendou by surprize. He blinked a few times, then chuckled. He couldn’t help but shake his head.

“And why in the world would you want to do that?” His words dripped with malice, and she seemed confused by his statement. She gaped for a moment before she came up with something to say.

“To get my daily caffeine fix and keep my social life intact? You don’t have to if you don’t want to, it was just a suggestion, I mean-”

“Sure, __, I’d love to.” He smiled, slinging his bag over his shoulder and waiting for her to slide out after him. Internally, he was screaming. Although this situation was so simple, it was so hard for him to wrap his mind around. Somebody who barely knew him wanting to get to know more about him. Never, ever in his life had a situation come up like this. It had to be a setup.

While walking next to her, Tendou had noticed a lot of things. She was significantly shorter than him, much shorter than any girl he had been involved with in the past. She had a spring in her step that made her seem more lively than most, but when he looked in her eyes, she had the same lethargic vigor as any other college student. He reckoned that he liked her eyes, though.

“So.” She said, the chilly air around them billowing her breath. “ What made you decide to come here?” Tendou shrugged.

“To get as far away from home as possible, to be honest.” At this she laughed, not because what he said was funny, though.

“I can relate. I think by the middle of senior year I was pretty much just throwing darts at a map and going with the farthest place away from there.”

“Ah, don’t tell me you really did that, now? You must have an aspiration in mind, right?” __ looked up at Tendou and shrugged, then sighed.

“I mean, I’ve always wanted to become a neurosurgeon, but I don’t think that’s gonna happen. What about you?” She looked up at him, but didn’t receive a response. This girl had to be kidding, Tendou thought.

“Clearly you’re smart enough to even think about being a neurosurgeon. Don’t give me that ‘I can’t do it’ bullshit.” He stuck his tongue out at her, to which she snorted in response. “I’m here for law, doesn’t that sound fun?”

“Like a lawyer? What made you want to be a lawyer?”

“Well, what made you decide you want to cut into people’s skulls for a living?”

“My sadistic streak.”

Tendou shot her a look out of the corner of his eye. He sucked his lips in and shook his head, holding back a smirk.

“I was so-o joking ple-ease don’t take that seriously.” She covered her mouth with her hands. She shook her head apologetically and Tendou couldn’t help but find it hilarious.

“Why should I listen to you? It might just be another one of your sadistic thoughts, hm?”

“Oh, this is a horrible first impression. I’m so sorry.”

“Sadists don’t say sorry, __.” She gaped, then popped her lips.

“On the topic of sadism, what kind of things are you into?” She inquired.

“Are you asking me about my kinks or what I do for fun?”

“The second one!”

“Well, uh, the first one could apply to both.” He smirked, only for her to wiggle her eyebrows. “But uh, to sum me up, I’m basically just a taller than average nerd.”

“Well, I’m a shorter than average nerd, it’s nice to meet my kin.”

They arrived at the coffee shop near his dorm room a quick minute later. He didn’t know what to think of __, not one bit. For now, he decided that he liked her. She got him. At least, she got the person he presented himself as. She listened to everything he had to say and more, and judging by her demeanor she liked talking to him. He found out she liked anime and could name all 196 countries on earth. He found out she was a dancer in high school but quit because she had to, not because she wanted to. He told her all about Shiratorizawa, the good parts, at least. He brushed the thin skin above the hard flesh and decided that, if they were to stay friends, he’d let her in on the cruelty later on. Her coffee order was just as odd as she was, it took her longer to explain than it actually took them to make. She was different, Tendou could sense it, and he could sense something else creeping up on him too.

At the end of it all she had given him her phone number. He warned her that he may just send an onslaught of memes to her at three in the morning, but that made her want to give him her number even more. “I’d rather get unsolicited memes than unsolicited nudes”, is what she said. He had dropped her off at her dorm at six and on his entire walk home he felt dizzy. He was overthinking again, but it couldn’t be helped. Although in the front of his mind, all was positive. She liked him, she wasn’t afraid of him. She complimented his hair and his freckles and his sense of humor. She was flirting with him, she liked him. There was nobody she was using him for, she said it herself that she barely knew anybody. But why couldn’t he bring himself to believe her? Maybe one day, he’d bring it up to her. For now, he just wanted to pass out.

“You wanna get deep, Satori?”

It was a question she had asked at two in the morning on the friday night before spring break. A question that made his heart race out of his chest. They were alone in his dorm room along with dozens of empty soda cans, all the lights off besides the cheap lamp on his nightstand. They sat on his bed, legs crossed, facing each other. For the longest time none of them said a word, before Tendou let out a sigh.

“You really wanna get deep with me, __?”

“I’ve wanted to get deep with you since the day we met.” She shrugged, taking a subconscious sip of her coffee. “Is that weird?”

“Kinda… not judging though.” Tendou shrugged. He cracked his neck and placed his half empty can of coke on the nightstand. “I trust you well enough to tell you my tragic anime villain backstory. You cool with that?”

“Lay it on me.”

Tendou sat silent for a moment, contemplating the situation he was wedged into. It was way too late and he was already high on the feeling of sleep deprivation, and there was nothing left for him to lose.

“I was kind of a weird child. Hell, I’m still a weird child depending on who you ask. Ah, weird elementary schooler, we’ll go with that. I’ve always loved volleyball ‘cause its so fast paced without getting physical. I was addicted to that… rush. You prolly don’t get what I mean by that.”

“I feel what you mean.”

“Good. I started playing when I was six or seven-ish. Loved it. Didn’t love me though. The other kids… the other kids would bully me. A lot. I was called a… a monster. They didn’t like my hair or my eyes or my freckles or the way I moved…. I was just a human version of road bump. In their way. They’d beat me up but I never fought back. I always went home with a split lip or a black eye… tons of scrapes. It was really hard… insanely. I ended up beating one of them in a volleyball match with this block, which pretty much became my signature. I told you ‘bout the Guess Block, right? I wasn’t bullied as much after that, at least, not physically. Middle school sucked. I mean, middle school sucked for everyone, right? My teammates talked so much shit, so did my coach. I was included but damn, I was never included. Nobody liked me but I kinda just had to deal with that. I didn’t even like myself. Until high school came. Damn, when I say high school was the best three years of my life, I mean it. Best team ever, awesome group of guys. The type of people who would kick someone’s teeth in if they looked at you funny. It was acceptance, I… I loved it. Sometimes I even forgot that people ever hated me ‘cause these guys made up for every shitty moment of my life up until then. I wanna say those were the only friends I’ve ever had. The only people who didn’t see me as… a monster. Graduation sucked, it was like leaving the only paradise I had ever known. I’m proud to say I cried for three days straight in my bedroom afterwards. You can quote me on that if you ever need blackmail, by the way, __. When I met you here I think I was sceptical about you for two months straight. I’ve never met somebody who was nice to me outside of that volleyball team and you were just… weird. Like, what’s this pretty girl talking to me for? She’s using me, she’s so using me. I dated two girls in the past, one I dated for a week before she cheated on me with another guy in my class, horrible, right? And another dated me for a day and broke it off ‘cause she told me the only reason she got with me was to get closer to the volleyball captain. The volleyball captain was my actual best friend, just to let you know. Then uh, I met you and you were nice to me. You were genuinely the first person out of the team to not think I’m a monster and… and I dunno. That’s my fucked up life, beat that.”

She didn’t say a word as he finished up his rant. His face was red and he refused to look her in the eye. She knew it now. She knew the roots of his trust issues and his depression, the thoughts he’s never told anyone. She was silent as she reached over and pulled him into her arms, holding him tight as he shook. His arms found their way around her middle and he pulled her closer towards him, nuzzling his face in the crook of her neck. Tendou decided that this was nice, he could live like this.

“I’m so sorry, Satori.”

“It’s alright.”

“You know, the first time I saw you I thought you were crazy attractive?”

“Really?”

“That’s why I was staring at you. I could’ve screamed.”

“You’re lying.”

She said nothing after that, compensating to running her fingers through his matted hair.

“Satori?” She peeped after a moment of brief silence. He sniffled, lifting his head out of the crook of her neck.

“Hm?”

“You know those two girls you dated?”

“Unfortunately.”

“Have you ever been kissed?”

Satori gawked at her with wide eyes. If his heart hadn’t been hammering before it sure was now. He sighed, and shook his head.

“Will I be the biggest loser on earth if I say no, I haven’t?”

“No…” she shook her head. She blinked slowly then sighed. “Satori, can I kiss you?”

His mind went blank for a moment. It was now three in the morning and nothing else mattered to him besides her, sitting in his arms and looking at him like he meant the world to her.

“Yes.”

So she did.

She cradled his head in the palm of her hand and wasted no time in pressing her lips against his. He had short circuited, his mind even more scrambled than it had been before. He didn’t know what to do so he just went with whatever he could. His nose bumped against hers, same goes for teeth, but she was soft. She pulled away for a split second and let out a puff of air, then went back to delicately kissing him.

She pulled away after a moment, looking into his eyes and brushing the pad of her thumbs across his cheeks. She was flushed up to the core, and it made Satori smile.

“You deserve to be loved, Satori. You deserve everything. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met and I’m insanely proud of you. I love you.” She whispered, thumbs still brushing circles across his freckled cheeks. Her words made him tear up, but she didn’t notice. Maybe she did, but payed no mind to it. She loved him. That’s all he ever wanted to hear.

“I love you too, __. Thank you.”

He didn’t quite remember what happened next, it all being just a sleep induced blur. What he did know is that the next morning he woke up with her cradled in his arms, under the covers with her hands in his hair. For the first time in ages, he had woken up happy. He didn’t want to move, hell, he didn’t even want to think. He wanted her to kiss him again, he wanted to tell her he loved her again. He wanted her to be his.

For the first time in his life, Tendou Satori had felt loved.