#i feel like maybe other ppl also have Thoughts? would anyone be interested in that..

[pinkberrypocky]

pmmm rewatch live notes: ep 7

this episode is so good for the kyoko sayaka of it all. god the fucking tree of knowledge fruit of knowledge symbolism in this ep is SO

Kyubey is such a victim blamer

When Sayaka gets upset and ask why he didn’t tell them about the soul gems he says because they never asked which shifts the blame the them

The way he makes sayaka feel the pain of being stabbed to prove his point about teh use of soul gems is SO FUCKED

Hes trying to make them thankful to him for fucking with their souls by torturing them and saying look how bad it would have been

Mother gothel core tbh

The opening is madoka core madoka pov and the ending is homura core homura pov

I said this already but the part of the opening where madokami embraces madoka  makes me literally feral

Madoka is so upset and horrified by the realities of the situation that she is unable to accept them as reality and make decisions that have any real impact (again literally me fr)

Until the end of course

Homura looks so hurt when madoka asks her why she is always so cold

Her hair shadows her eyes and she looks at her marked fingernail with disdain

When kyoko leads sayaka to the church she is a black silhouette against a yellow/orange sky

Kyoko kicks down the door to the church and crushes a beam beneath her feet

Kyoko offers sayaka an apple before trying to convince her that being selfless is not the way to go

Sayaka rejects it 

Representative of rejecting the fruit of knowledge and stubbornly keeping naivety

Kyoko’s dad is lowkey just a cult leader who was really bad at it

The way kyoko holds the puppet of her dad up in the lore drop is representative of how she held him up in his religious efforts by making her wish

Kyoko also used to think of being a magical girl as a way to save the world but now she knows better

Sayaka is blank staring at kyoko during the whole story

She cannot truly listen to kyoko bc if she did she would see that kyoko is right and where would that leave her?

Kyoko says “If you wish for hope an equal amount of despair will come” AAAAAAAA

Homura wishes to be with madoka who is the personification of hope and in fighting for that she gets life after life of despair

Kyoko says that she only thinks about herself but that’s really not true at all otherwise she wouldn't be trying to enlighten sayaka

In a way kyoko is the same as her dad, preaching to others about how they can be saved only to never be listened to 

Sayaka condemns kyoko for stealing the food and has a weird moral high ground about not eating them because of it

As if she thinks she’s better for not having to steal

She so blinded by her view of the world at this point that she can’t recognize the class difference and privilege that she acknowledged in earlier eps

Actually speaking of the duality of kyoko’s wish reflecting her character that kind of applies to all of them

Madoka wishes to create hope/eliminate despair/loneliness and in the process makes it so that she is forever alone and takes on everything for everyone else

Sayaka wishes to heal kyosuke and ends up not letting herself be with him since she no longer sees herself as human

Mami wishes to stay alive and ends up dying in ep 3

Homura wishes for madoka and ends up in a world without her

When hitomi and sayaka talk about kyosuke and hitomi admits her feelings they are the only ones in the restaurant 

All the other seats are drawn in but empty

When madoka asks to come witch hunting with sayaka sayaka says “you’re too kind”

Mirrors what homura says often

Sayaka admits that she is failing at being a warrior of justice when she wished for a moment that she hadn’t saved hitomi so that she could be with kyosuke 

The reason she has such a big breakdown is bc this isn’t just about kyosuke its about her morals that she is living for being proved wrong in an undeniable way 

So what is she even fighting for?

When sayaka is fighting a witch that night she no longer cares about getting hurt since she knows she will be fine as long as her soul gem stays in tact

We only see her silhouette in black against a white background

Reflects her black and white thinking

The witch forms branch like shapes to attack her

Being attacked/hurt by the tree of knowledge

Blood on her face forms tears as she laughs and smiles widely

She says it works to detach herself and she doesn’t feel anything anymore bc her whole world has ended bc her ideals were her everything and now she can’t even have those

[togament]

as much as i love cute festival fluff with togame (someone else pls send in an ask for it lmao), consider confessing to togame on valentines with homemade chocolate since he’s a big foodie & he, more than anyone, would appreciate the effort 🥰

i can see him maybe not clocking the intention right away either bc he didn’t have friends until shishitoren (+ find it hard to believe anyone would be interested in him like that) & the thought of choji of all ppl making him realize it’s romantic bc the chocolate reader gave him “wasn’t as nice looking as kame-chan’s :<” is soooo funny to me

GHHRHRJRH GNAWING ON YOUR ARM THIS IS ADORABLE!!!!! kinda teared up a bit ngl. imagining a soft blushy togame got me in my feels. i feel like (Also yes pls someone send in a cute festival date hc with togame/any of your faves!!!! I have things to say about our turtle guy in particular but we can do your other faves too. idk i'm in a yappy mood.

“you’re finally ready to confess to togame after mulling it over for months. you even made chocolates for him to (hopefully) immediately devour. things don’t go quite as planned though.”

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 : none just fluff, gender neutral reader, reader’s jelly and an overthinker, togame’s in looooove, choji’s a little shit (affectionate)

full story under the cut! fully SFW.

standing at the gates of the ori, you bounce on your heels in sheer nervousness, eyes tirelessly darting around in search for togame with two chocolate boxes in one hand. one smaller one and one huge and beautifully decorated one. god your heart’s beating a mile a minute and your brain’s working overtime. what if he got into trouble? a possibility. what if someone’s confessing to him? of course someone would. he’s tall, handsome, kind, can cook—what’s not to love?

what if someone asked him out on a date? shit.

..what if HE asked someone out on a date? double shit.

oh god. oh no. your form visibly slumps at the thought, doubtlessly breaking your own heart again. but hey, on the bright side, you could eat your own chocolates, right? you made them extra delicious too, making them into flavors you know he’d like. you even snuck in some ramune flavored sweets for him.

…you know you’d hate eating chocolates for the rest of your life after this.

but then, the sun in the form of choji, shines through the dark clouds in your mind. your body visibly straightens back up when you hear his distinct laughter and endless yapping along with the soft crinkles of cellophane and boxes. listening even closer, you can hear togame speak and get promptly cut off by the smaller boy.

breathe. he’s here.

shit— what if those boxes you heard were all his and choji was just carrying them with him? what if he already gave someone a kiss today? what if he’d take your box of chocolates and hand it to his date instead?? what if—

“oh hey it’s bunny.”

you were just ready to walk away when you were stopped in your tracks by his deep voice calling out the nickname he so annoyingly picked for you. even when you’re looking away you could just hear him smiling. you turn, giving both boys a slight wave before you’re met with the absolute mountain of chocolates choji and him are carrying.

you’re not the only one who wanted to confess to him then.

“hey uh-mind adding these to your pile?” you say, failing to mask the sadness in your voice. you catch yourself though, immediately correcting yourself. “got these for you guys. no biggie, really.” you made the chocolates. granted the smaller box’s for choji and it’s way less decorated compared to togame’s. more ‘default’ chocolate box than ‘I have liked you for the longest time please accept my love’ chocolate box. you yap some more, digging your own grave, “these were on sale today so… thought you guys might want a snack.” you didn’t get them on sale. hell you made each and every single one by hand for the both of them to suit their tastes. god knows how much time you and him have spent talking about cooking and food.

but then choji gasps.

“hey! lying’s not nice!” choji chirps at you, dropping the boxes of chocolates on the ground unceremoniously. togame could only look on since his hands are already occupied with even more of choji’s valentines chocolates. the smaller boy looks at you suspiciously, albeit playfully. "you made these, didn't you?"

fuck. he noticed. you stare at choji like a deer in headlights now, too stunned to utter a single word.

he eyes the beautifully painted box in your hands and you pray for the ground to just eat you.

“iiiiis that one mine?” choji points at the larger box, eyes shining. togame looks on though, silent but his mind’s racing too. little did you know the chocolates they were carrying were all choji’s, given by his droves of admirers and friends alike. while togame didn’t mind not getting any chocolates this year and all those years before that, he finds himself hoping.

please don’t let that be choji’s.

“Wh-no! it’s-“ “-kame-chan’s? waaah his box is way larger and prettier than mine is!” he cuts you off, eyeing the boxes as you hold them in your hand. still, he takes his smaller box from you. “why’d you give kame-chan a bigger one? you like him or something?”

a pause.

“is that why you’re blushing?” he prods, wiggling a finger at you. "is that why you're blushing too, kame-chan?", he adds, wiggling two fingers at the both of you.

you could just explode at that moment.

“HUH?? What??? n-no! I mean YES-“ “oh so you do?” choji adds, cutting you off again. Taking togame’s larger box of chocolates from your hands, he shuffles through the chocolate boxes he dropped on the floor, handing the taller, now stunned boy his first legit box of valentines chocolates.

you three are blanketed in silence. with the exception of choji’s giggles.

"choji wait-" “welp, I’ll be in the ori!” he brightly exclaims, swiftly taking all of the chocolate boxes from togame’s arms and off the floor, leaving him with the single, most prettiest one in the bunch.

yours.

choji leaves you both with a playful wink and you both stand there, glancing at each other and fumbling awkwardly.

silently, he opens your chocolate box and is immediately greeted with a beautifully arranged selection of chocolates and sweets. his gaze flits from the box, to your reddened face and back again. you motion for him to eat. and he does.

he didn’t think it was possible to like you even more.

he pops one of the ramune shaped bites in his mouth and his eyes immediately widen in delight behind his amber sunglasses. pushing the glasses up his forehead to meet your eyes properly, you fail to tear away your eyes in time.

“sure you made these yerself, bunny? could've fooled me. these are restaurant quality. ” he says in between bites. his tone’s something he only uses around you and choji. vulnerable, safe, gently.

your heart’s beating way too fast for your own good.

“mhm. thought you might like that one because y’know… ramune and all.” you respond, “your favorite, right?”

with an acknowledging hum, he closes the box, twisting and admiring the beautifully decorated container, a forest green box speckled with gold and ornate lines. you really set the bar way up high for him. he smiles softly to himself and you swear you see his cheeks redden a tint.

“…can ya teach me to make them?” his voice grows softer, just enough for you to hear him. “how’s next weekend?” as soon as the words escape his lips, his heartbeat rises up to his throat. what if you didn't want to? he's never done this before, making the first move. he still can't fully grasp why you'd go so far as make something for him, someone who's only respected out of fear, someone who's wronged so many for just one cause. it haunts him sometimes. the Shishitoren could forgive him but he can't forgive himself. why would you?

you'll convince him soon enough. make him see what you see in him, what others see in him.

now's not that time though. your mind’s already in another dimension, thinking about him giving his date YOUR dessert with the recipe YOU made for him. letting out a soft disappointed sigh before opening your mouth, you respond, “maybe I could.“

“Maybe huh.” he echoes you, arching a brow at you with a small frown ghosting his lips.

“yeah, maybe. I could send the recipe over to you if you want. you could try making it with your date-“

“date? I want to make them for you next month, doofus. only you.” he retorts, wanting to get his point across. he realizes you're overthinking again. he's assuring you. meeting your eyes, he sees the shade of red on your cheeks darken. you look like a fish out of water, mouth agape and eyes wide. extending a hand towards you, he nudges your chin up with his knuckle. “y’know what that means right? I like you.”

a small gasp escapes your lips.

“you do..?” a pause. “why?”

he laughs, playfully pinching your cheek.

“I just do, cutie. always have. I take it you like me too?”

you nod. do it properly this time.

“yeah. I really do.”

he smiles, dimples deepening on his cheeks. he looks so relieved you like him back. you swear you feel like you’re on cloud nine — is this really happening?

“it’s a date then." he says as he reaches over to pat your head. "you better not flake on me, bun. Else I’d take that imaginary date of mine out instead.”

scoffing, you push his chest and he lets out a soft 'oof'.

“you wouldn't dare—“

“ARE YOU GUYS DATING YET??”

choji screams from the distance, the entire Shishitoren gang’s staring at you both from the ori, desperately waiting for the both of you to finish. they've been watching you both the entire time with bated breath. his friends are all cheering him on.

a pause.

togame reaches over to hold your hand, intertwining his long fingers through yours. hoots and hollers echo as he waves them off with a hand.

you could only smile up at him, squeezing his hand into yours.

he squeezes back.

a/n: hehehehe self doubt togame making me soft. MAKE HIM FEEL WORTHY GOD DAMN IT. DATE HIM AND DATE HIM HARD.

[erinwantstowrite]

Hi I know you mentioned you being aroace just a couple days ago and I was wondering if maybe you could explain more in depth about how you found out your sexuality and what not? If it’s not too personal…

I’ve always sorta struggled since I haven’t had any crushes as a kid except for maybe one and that’s just cause ppl kept asking me who mine was… so I don’t even think it was a legit crush?? So not only do I not know who (looks,gender, that sorta thing) I would like … am I ever gonna like someone to even find that out???

I know you said Superman on the new trailer was hot ahaha so do you still experience that sort of physical attraction? I’ve been told when people question which gender they like, to pick which one looks more attractive to them but I’ve never really experienced that sort of physical attraction so I can’t tell that way either…

I think any thought of a crush forming was more towards their personality as well. Looks I guess are more of a second thought I think..? Even then I can’t tell if this is “you’re such an awesome person I wanna be besties with you” really strong feeling or an actual “I wanna date this person” feeling.

The only person I’ve gotten really close to discerning it as officially crush was someone from work who was older by a good amount… which can be/is pretty weird.. Lots of people my age are just a little too crazy for me.. I guess??? Idk and even now I can’t tell if that was just “glad to have someone as a friend sorta thing. I’m really sorry if this is too personal and u don’t have to respond to the ask directly either I was just hoping on maybe some advice for some clarity if possible… as I get older and realize I’ve never dated/had that sorta infatuation it feels so excluding at times.

Also I am hoping for a feast AND desert with this “‘soon’ but still haven’t posted it two days later” chapter plz and thank you

I hope this made sense and wasn’t too invasive!! :(

when i was younger, i was reading about this kind of thing online and i didn't find anyone like me. i think it's about time that i come full circle and make my own post. i've got like half of my frontal lobe developed and i've been figuring out a lot of things about myself these past couple of years, and there might be someone out there who needs to hear this (´-`ʃ♡ƪ) so if anyone is interested, below the cut is a very long talk about how i figured some stuff out

when it came to my sexuality, i only started considering it when i was in middle school, going into high school. (which would be when i was 12-13). that's when a lot of my friends started having crushes on our classmates and i realized they were being serious when they said they had crushes on people. they had figured out their identities as being a lesbian or bisexual, and they had relationships. (or as close as you can get to that in middle school).

i started to panic and think that i was lagging behind. and i really started to repress my feelings about dating people and romance and what that would entail. i found out through the internet about being pansexual. at the time i thought "oh, they have the same attraction for everyone!" and i slapped it on myself because i thought it would fix everything. i even came out to my parents as pansexual and for a while i left it at that.

i had an idea of romance. i shipped characters in media and i knew that my parents really loved each other. there were a lot of examples for love in my life that weren't the best, but having two parents that actually did care about each other made me want that for myself in the future...

but that's in the future. i personally didn't think about it much because we were still kids. for a while i didn't think anyone else was being serious, that they were just trying it out quicker than i was ready for. it was a strange feeling. i guess i still believed we were playing make believe, or copying what we saw on TV or with our parents. often when my friends asked me who i had a crush on and i felt pressured, i would pick someone that i thought i wouldn't mind dating if i had to. someone would be "interested" in me and i would say "okay" because i felt like that was part of this game we all seemed to be playing. i've had a few "boyfriends" over the years that got people off my back when i had them. in elementary school it was this boy that didn't pick on me, another boy that was my parents' friend's kid. in middle school i had an online boyfriend and a couple of "crushes" on friends of friends, someone just a little far out of my circle that didn't shake anything up. my friends would help me get together with a person and they'd seem so excited for me, so i just went along with it.

then it hit me that they weren't doing it just to do it, or playing pretend. they actually felt something when they were interacting with their crushes. i started to reread books and rewatch media and really grasp what they were saying. the feeling of having butterflies inside them when they talked to each other, blushing when something was said? i thought that was about a general anxiety people get when talking to other people. but there was always something more to it that i just... didn't get. no matter how hard i tried, i didn't understand what that something was.

then started coming the pressure to do the same, to fit in. that's why i accepted a label of pansexual. it was "strange" but at least it didn't feel "broken." i could deal with people telling me that i was wrong for liking more than just boys. but to say that there was no one on the table gave me an anxiety i'd never felt before. like i would be letting down my family, that the entire course of my life would shift. i wouldn't walk down the aisle because there would be no wedding. my parents wouldn't have grandkids. my friends would go on to have lives completely separate from mine, we'd have nothing in common anymore. so i stuffed it all down and made myself believe that this wasn't who i was.

it really mixed me up because i did have a couple of "crushes" that felt real. there were a few girls i was friends with, there were boys in my classes (usually class clowns...) that i'd get excited to see every day. when i thought about dating them, it felt nice. any other time when i thought about dating someone, i'd get this awful feeling in my gut that i later realized was dread. i was fully convinced it was different from all the other times. that "different" that i didn't understand before.

it was different! but not for the reason i thought it was. those people made me laugh, they listened and remembered things about me (that i didn't get much of during that time of my life), and most of all: they didn't like me back.

there were literally no expectations in their eyes for things to go away from friendship. and i think that's what made me like them, but not as a crush. it was relief. there was always an expectation for other people (specifically boys) that if we were friends, things would stray from friendship at some point. not with these people. that relief, combined with all the other good feelings they gave me (class clowns...) made it so much easier to fall into a friendship that i didn't have with other people. and i was in denial for so long that i thought of those friendships as crushes because they were different from other friendships.

there were a couple of times that i got close to having to face my sexuality and it felt like a gut punch. there were a couple of people i was friends with (that i didn't have crushes on) that i had previously thought "if i had to pick someone" about. but when they actually told me their feelings, i would run away. in one case, i literally ran away. i changed my entire routine so that i wouldn't have to face them. and i'm a creature of habit, so of course i took that step back and asked myself why i was having such a strong reaction. my friends didn't understand why i was so panicked about these confessions. especially because before, i "liked" people and had no problem with it.

part of my feelings were that no one would actually like me (which only furthered me not wanting/not considering romance). some of the confessions that i got were fake/pranks, and it would really mess with my head. i wasn't skinny, i knew i was strange and awkward, and i could be very brash and stubborn. i had a weird sense of humor and i missed social ques. i got a lot of "you should be a lawyer" and complaints of being bossy when i was growing up and i always knew they really meant "you're a bitch." i wouldn't understand why i felt so othered from my peers like that until i learned i was possibly autistic, and i only found that out a couple years ago. combined with being plus sized and not conventionally attractive, i didn't get much breathing room. if i wasn't perfectly calm all the time, if i didn't force myself to be overly nice to people, and if i wasn't funny, i'd get told i was "draining" to be around.

i did a lot to try and fit in. i kept my hair long because people would compliment it, i tried to wear skirts instead of pants/shorts, i'd wear comfy clothes and the like so i didn't look like i was trying too hard. a lot of my personality was forced and i was the one who was being drained instead. i ended up having to get a radar for when people were just messing with me. and so when a real confession happened, there was a combination of anxiety about if they were faking or not, doubt that they could actually like me, and then a deep rooted fear about if they were being serious.

instead of the relief i should have felt when i learned it was a real confession, i still felt scared. it would be the same anxiety as if someone asked me to get on the world's tallest roller coaster in the world and i had just seen a chunk of the roller coaster fall in front of me.

that part made it even harder to come to grips with my sexuality. i thought if i gave up on being a hopeless romantic, i'd be giving in to all the times someone told me "I just don't see you dating anyone." being unlovable was a death sentence in my eyes. and it didn't help that i've lived in the south all my life. i was already strange and going to hell for a multitude of things. turning around and telling them that i was going against every expectation set of me to get married and have kids by 24????

(i should clarify that my parents had never been the ones to put this in my mind. when i came out as pansexual, they had only been confused about what the hell that was. the rest of their reaction was "i mean... we could already sort of tell." and while my parents had hopes for my future, i knew deep down that while they'd be a little sad not to have those expected memories with me, they wouldn't turn me away. and they would very likely be happy to create a whole different set of memories with me.)

i have my current friends to thank for me coming to terms with who i am. by the time i was in college i had started to question everything. my middle school friend group had been majority queer but we had gone to different schools or just faded apart. in high school, a majority of my time was spent in band. and while i was one of those people who had friends in a variety of friend groups, the closest friends i had were the people in my section that i sat next to every day. and in the present time, only a couple of them remained straight churchgoers. even though they've changed now just like i have, during high school i was a different story.

going to college opened me up to a far different experience. by this point i'd shifted from pansexual to bisexual. my college experience wasn't... ideal. or really healthy in any aspect. but meeting these people did dislodge the mindset i'd had for most of my life. and my current friends have changed my life. the fear that i had about being aromantic has now become the relief i needed my entire life. it doesn't feel broken, or wrong, or strange. sometimes i do feel sad about it, or question if this is really the case. maybe one day i'll meet someone who shows me that "different" feeling i'd been waiting to understand. but i grew past the societal expectation of needing a partner to be fulfilled in life and i'm so much happier.

life doesn't need to be about that partner. i have many, many friends and family to grow old with. i have a godchild!! one day i'll have my own house to celebrate holidays and achievements at, to host my friends and family. i'll have pets that i love and i'll have my own career, and i'll be happy because i never needed to fit expectations to be happy.

when it comes to anything sexual, it's sort of the same feeling as when i had "crushes" on people in real life. though also different? i don't look at real people and feel an attraction beyond knowing that they are attractive, objectively. i can feel attraction sometimes in a physical sense, but i have no interest in having anything personal happening between us. a fictional character has no interest in me, and so it feels safe to think that they're hot and to express it. like sure, yeah, i have a crush on them! i get giggly when Captain Smoker from One Piece shows up on the screen, and the new Superman makes me think "oh! okay!" but if they were real and in front of me? i'd probably... lose that attraction, like it was never there.

here's the kicker, though, and might sound weird at first: you don't have to put a label on yourself

yeah, i do consider myself aroace. but the world is ever changing and so is the human experience. it helps to have a basis, to understand your feelings and work through them. it's nice to be like "there is a name for this" and to find a community through that. i'm not saying there's anything wrong about figuring out your identity and saying "I'm this, this, and this!" nothing at all wrong with that. but we're all figuring ourselves out, all the time. it doesn't end when you put the label on. you have the entire rest of your life to continue learning things about yourself and the world around you. i wish i'd known in middle school that i didn't have to rush it, that i have every opportunity to take it one phase at a time. a human life seems fleeting, especially when you're looking back on your past and feeling like the time flew by. but that's just our perception of it as we look back.

what i mean to say it that it's okay to backtrack. it's okay to change your mind. it's okay to not put a label on it. it's okay to put a label on it. it's okay not to tell anyone, if you don't want to. it's okay to say "i'll figure it out." and it's okay if you don't. it's okay if you sit up in bed one day when you're 60 years old and go "that's what it is." as long as you live your life listening to yourself and not trying to meet an expectation you think you have to, then you're doing it right.

and it's okay if you lived your life like i did, and you didn't do any of that. being a human is messy and that's part of life. you're not gonna get it right the first time- but even then, sometimes you will! there's a nuance and a spectrum to everything you experience. take pride in who you are even if you don't have a clue yet. be kind to yourself. you're gonna be okay.

[mushimatsu]

choromatsu handwriting post

compiled all of choromatsus handwriting that i could find bc i love him

i realize these were all made by different teams and have different sources (anime/games/webkuji/etc) but there are some similarities between them all and i think its cute. i'll try to make it easier for ppl that cannot read japanese too

(note: some of these may or may not be valid criticisms, im not a native japanese speaker but i got my bachelors in japanese. idk if this means anything to anyone im just pointing out things that im noticing and maybe it will be interesting to you. if you notice anything else interesting feel free to add)

commonalities i noticed:

sometimes will combine multiple character strokes into one (normal thing to do, i've seen some native speakers do this)

with a few exceptions (mt takao for some reason), generally neat handwriting. proper and easy to read. not too big, not too small, not over stylized, but not messy either. very choromatsu

letter in s1e24

very nice handwriting, legible and neat. this is closest to how i think i would picture his handwriting. i know that the staff across different ososan things probably don't care too deeply about keeping minute handwriting details consistent and that's why they're all gonna look different but i like this one best for him.

new years cards in s2e13

very cute, love the stupid drawing of himself. everything very nice and tidy. to me these characters look a much curlier and rounder than the ones in the letter.

for both the letter and the new years cards it looks like he was careful to properly write out all the strokes of the kanji, even for more complicated ones like 緊張 and 就職. we see in mt takao that his handwriting gets a LOT messier. i know the real reason is because it was probably different animators that did his handwriting, but i'm choosing to believe that in canon it's because both of these are more fancy/formal letters addressed to people, whereas the trip guide is just for him and his brothers and doesn't necessarily need to look nice.

also i adore his tendency to add little drawings to things, like this and the mt takao guide he's everything

trip guide from mt. takao s3e8. his handwriting here, for some reason, is exceptionally bad especially compared to everything else. he writes like a little kid and i love his shitty little drawings. he's so cute.

my teachers would always correct my kanji down to the tiniest strokes, if i wrote like this is class i would get scolded so bad. you can see him combining his strokes together for 記念撮影, this will continue for the other pictures too. cute detail imo

the 昼 in 昼食 is definitely written wrong, but the second kanji 食 might be a little nitpicky. technically that bottom part is three different strokes, not two crossed over each other

more of him combining the strokes together. i wouldn't necessarily say that's wrong, since i've seen people do that before; it's probably just a habit that happens over time. i do it in english too

HOWEVER, he did write the 日 radical in 撮影 wrong here. previously, i thought he was just combining strokes again so that it looked like three lines instead of two (note 3 and 4 are two parallel lines, he just didn't lift his pen up)

but when you look at this it's clear that he very much did write three lines this time. that's the wrong radical

anyway

another example of him writing a two stroke character with just one. again, this is fine, ive seen people write their characters like this. however it looks bad when he does it here

i love how he wrote "campfire" i love how for some reason he didn't keep the letter sizing consistent or straight. also his little campfire drawing

１９時

キャンプ

ファイヤー

also there's two ways to write そ, its just a matter of choice its not important but he writes it the second way. and he messed up a kanji again

these next ones are maybe less canon cause they're not from the show itself

Airport Matsu

very tidy, combines a couple strokes together. both 松 (matsu) characters look like he combines the last two strokes together instead of writing them as two separate ones

and he does a similar thing with the right half of 野 in Matsuno

nostalgic moments webkuji

this one he writes every stroke and doesn't combine them and that's probably because different people worked on these and the tiny details like this don't matter to anyone but me. or you could say that he wrote a little neater in high school and started simplifying things as he got older.

Rock School

he drew himself again lol

i think his handwriting looks very good here actually. idk how to describe it but i like when handwriting looks like this specific way in japanese. i've seen other people that have handwriting like this and it just looks so nice. like the characters seem to vary in size, but somehow it makes it a little easier to read imo?

like in the first bullet point (underlined in yellow), the す in 多すぎる is a little big, but like it looks nice. in the second bullet point (blue), the の in 世の中 is slightly smaller but it emphasizes the kanji on either side of it. the stroke on the side of the か characters are written a little longer than usual (red). like it just looks nice, everything is shaped really nice and whenever i see people that have this handwriting i always try to emulate it lol

Neetpro

this one is a bit messier than the others. the way he wrote チョロ just doesn't look as nice as the way he wrote it in airport matsu and nostalgic moments. the way the て is written is more curved compared to the others. also the 界 kanji (blue) is written in a way that looks weird to me, and kara from this same set also writes the kanji that way so i think the same person might have written all of them lol

also interesting is that he writes き differently in this one

i was told by one of my professors that you're supposed to write さ and き with the upper and lower parts disconnected when writing by hand. it's only in text that they're connected. but i've still seen some people write them in the connected way

in all the other examples, choromatsu doesn't write them connected like that, just this one.

sukiya app

my lovely boy and his nonsense words and lies. the handwriting here comes off as very cutesy to me, at least compared to the others. some of the ways he writes, especially any box-like shape, seems round in a way. he also connects the right half of 野 again.

overall writes very neatly, altho a lot of the kanji here seems like its very big on the top and smaller on the bottom, and a lot of the letters seem more rounded. all the other examples just feel like the writing is a bit more angular, with the exception of the new years cards.

extra: coloring book

the way he wrote his name here is messier than the other examples. i like that he added little commentary on his own coloring though ("looks good!" "the tail was black too i believe") maybe he colored this with a paintbrush????? the strokes look as if he was trying to write quickly with a brush as if it was a pen. so maybe that's why its a little messier

anyway thanks for reading. i love choromatsu

[jeonscatalyst]

About the ham/pink sausage thing I'd love to know if you think bucking up at ur partner(Assuming jkk are couple or have romantic feelings for e/o) like that in front of other ppl can happen btw couples...... friends? Yes. Siblings? Yes. But couples? I wonder......if my partner does that (jk was kinda pissed because they questioned his knowledge of food or wtv that is) in front of other ppl I'd feel disrespectful maybe not by siblings and friends but definitely by my partner. Of course i don't believe any of the members have that kinda nature where they hit someone that's completely false I believe that. Can you imagine you and your partner in their place? Your partner bucking up at you like that in public? You won't feel disrespected? And i know you'll say jk was joking, he joked when he did it second time but the first time was his honest reaction. It irritated him that they didn't belive he was right.

Hi anon,

Short answer to your question is yes, it can happen. I’ve seen so many people give so many takes about the pink sausage/ham moment but I refrained from saying anything about it until I got my thoughts in order. So many times when people judge other’s actions they look at it from a perspective that they are used to or through a particular lens that makes sense to them forgetting that in this big world with over 7 billion people, there are different people, different cultures and ways of life so what might mean one thing to you, might mean something else to a different person.

I don’t understand why that was a big deal to people ( I mean I do kinda but…) because anyone who has watched even one kdrama or knows even a little bit about Koreans in general knows that koreans do that alot when they are mad or irritated. They buck at other people like they are going to hit them with no intention of actually hitting them. Parents do it to kids, siblings do it to each other and even people in seasoned relationships relationships do it as well. Jk wasn’t going to hit Jimin, that’s for sure. It’s just that was a knee jerk reaction at that point and from the reactions of Tae and Jimin, that wasn’t something Jungkook did often because Jimin didn’t seem used to it judging from his reaction.

I understand what you mean about feeling disrespected especially if that is something that happens in public but I doubt some koreans will see it that way mostly because it is something they are used to. Plus, sometimes people could be intentionally or unintentionally disrespectful to their partners, that isn’t news.

While that moment left a bad taste in some people’s mouths, I actually found it cute….not necessarily because Jungkook bucked at Jimin but because when you watch that scene, you notice that Tae was the one who started saying it was ham and he was also the one who kept insisting it was while Jimin only said it once but that one time Jimin said it was the only time Jungkook doubted himself about it. I also found it interesting that even though Tae was the one who repeatedly insisted that it wasn’t pink sausage, we only saw Jk’s emotions towards Jimin and nothing towards Tae. Now, most people whom I like to call shallow or fickle would rejoice at the fact that Tae didn’t react to Tae who was the instigator but reacted to Jimin who only said it once but to anyone who understands human emotions and knows a little bit of something about life, that single moment right there was more than enough to tell whom among the two Jungkook is emotionally closer to.

That moment to me will go down in history as one of the biggest moments that showed just how close and comfortable Jikook are with each other.

Typically, you are more likely to get annoyed at someone you are closer to because you have more expectations of them than the ones you are not as close to. There is also an emotional investment. Being closer to someone usually means you care more about their opinions and actions so when they do something that bothers you, it impacts you more deeply. You generally also feel more comfortable expressing or showing your frustration at someone you feel closest to because your relationship with them feels secure so you are not worried about how you might come off because you both know each other extremely well, while with a friend you are not as close to, you tend to be more forgiving or less affected by their behavior because your emotional investment is lower, and your expectations might not be as high. Anyone who watches that clip would wonder why on earth Jk only expressed his annoyance at Jimin and not Tae who actually started and instigated the whole thing and this is not to say Taekook aren’t close because we know they are but Jikook just have an insanely deeper emotional connection and bond.

Some people think Jungkook was just joking but I think he was truly annoyed and maybe even a little hurt, and his annoyance (though might sound abit silly) probably came from the fact that he expected Jimin to side with him but Jimin didn’t or expected Jimin to trust his judgement more. To so many people it might have just been a silly argument about ham and pink sausage bit to Jungkook, it was probably more and some might to relate or understand his annoyance but that doesn’t mean his feelings about the whole thing shouldn’t be respected.

Jimin’s reaction was also very telling and even though he handled things in a funny and dramatic way, I think Jungkook’s actions shocked him to a certain extent and he probably felt bad about it but he must have understood at some point why Jungkook reacted so intensely. Jimin’s actions also shows how much he knows and is emotionally close to Jungkook because if that were another person, Jimin would have probably cussed them out but he had this extra patience with Jungkook probably because he understood why Jungkook got like that. Compare the way Tae reacted after Jungkook made a statement about him being weak to Jimin’s reaction. One of them was clearly the reaction of a friend (Tae straight up warned Jungkook not to take things far else someone would see blood) but Jimin’s reaction was more….emotional. Jungkook’s reaction in the two cases too were telling. With Tae he was quick to say “yes sir” when Tae called him out but with Jimin, he didn’t look like he was ready to let go of the annoyance yet and even after they finished eating he kept glaring at Jimin till Jimin apologized.

Reminds me of that Live from May 2019 in Newjersey where Jimin and Jin turned off the Live before Jk arrived and Jk was so pissed he went to start his own Live. All Jin had to do to get Jk’s forgiveness was apologize once while Jimin had to follow him to his room apologizing yet Jk still didn’t let him off easy. These are things that could seem very trivial to people but that shows you that Jungkook might just have more expectations when it comes to Jimin while he doesn’t really get that affected by other’s actions. The rainy day story is also a good example that shows how Jimin’s opinions affect Jungkook differently. He has mentioned so many times that he tries to emulate Jimin’s actions so that already says alot about how much he values Jimin’s opinions and how much expectations he generally has when it comes to him so when he feels disappointed, it just triggers a more emotional response. It also gets a little weirder when you remember that Jimin is actually Jungkook’s hyung which means that Jimin could have easily scolded him like Tae did with Jk realizing that he had just been disrespectful to someone older and ready to apologize yet that is not the reaction we got from them at all.

So anon, I can see why you would see things the way you do but you always have to consider context and the context here would be that, different things are acceptable in different cultures or societies and things have different meanings to different people. And yes, if Jimin is Jungkook’s lover he might have felt disrespected sometimes things like that happen in relationships anyway so it’s nothing new imo.

[thecoolerliauditore]

Pls tell me about Scott's views on women in general pls I'm begging you

o7 and I'm sorry

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

fyi, the post itself isn't NSFW, but I'll be getting all gender theory in this bitch so I'll be referencing a lot of things and putting in pictures of naked ppl sometimes. maybe skip this one if you don't like that

(long post)

Disclaimers

An explanation for the tweet up there

I usually don't write these because I assume the people on my blog have enough sense to realise when I'm talking about the characters vs the CCs or are comfortable enough being a little confused, but I feel the need to extra-clarify here and expand on how I specifically view C vs CC because I think it differs a little from the average person.

To me, C and CC are two separate entities but not entirely disconnected. What differs (e.g. the exclusion of irl relationships -- their wives, kids, etc.) is poignant enough to severely detach them from the people they originated from, at least in my eyes, but there's also the fact that these are not scripted characters, just creators being themselves with a hint of behind the scenes drama-adding and improv thrown in.

For example, CC Pearl is a car nerd. So I assume her character is too.

This is where I state very clearly that yes, a lot of these thoughts come from things I've seen on Scott's twitter, which is undoubtedly the CC and not the C. However I, to me, am still talking about the C because any observations/judgments I could make on actual irl youtuber CC guy Scott Major would be tabloid at best and slightly invasive at worst. I'm seeing these statements within the context of "the death game guy would say this too and I'm writing this based on that", not "this is the inner psychological workings of the youtuber because I, as a fan, can totally tell".

TLDR I don't consider this post RPF but you might. This is a little more RPF-y than my usual stuff. If you don't rock with it we cool.

Everyone is weird about women, and that's okay

One short-hand I've used in the past to talk about Scott and women is just by saying that he's "weird about women" which I'm sure isn't exclusive to him.

(shitpost I made awhile back)

I see a lot of people now who love "villains" and "evil" but when it comes to any traits resembling real life evil (e.g. misogyny in this case) they suddenly become insecure. Just a couple of days back a saw a post on twitter essentially asking for permission to continue liking CC Scott in spite of the "bad things" he did.

And I think, in order to present an analysis like this, I must address that mindset first.

This is not a judgment on Scott's morality, nor is it trying to dissuade you from liking him. This is not saying that he is any more misogynistic than any other player in the series. This is just me pointing out Scott's attitude towards women and what I read it as, nothing less or more.

The feelings that me pointing these things out - be they apathy, disgust, anger or, what I would hope to see most, interest - are your own. I'm not here to tell anyone how to feel and never will try to police that on my blog.

Scott's Relationships with Women

aka. oh yeah this is about minecraft.

Scott and Cleo || "Yeah, you can kill me."

Scott and Cleo's alliance is arguably the strongest in the entire series, spanning through all five seasons and remaining unbroken with no (serious) drama attached. You'd expect from this that they two have a very settled and stable understanding of eachother, yet this isn't a case.

Their power dynamic shifts dramatically from one season to the next.

3L's initial Widows Alliance began on fairly equal footing, built on the mutual agreement that they were waiting for their respective partners to die. Both understood they were eachothers' "plan B" and felt comfortable in that arrangement.

Come LL, Cleo does what she couldn't in 3L, and initiates that plan, going to Scott after her last alliance, the fairy fort, fell apart. Scott requests nothing from her in return.

DL is the longest the two spent as eachothers main ally. Cleo is the one who initially proposes teaming up to spite their "cheating" soulmates and Scott agrees. Cleo admits to Martyn in private that she's aware she's taking advantage of Scott (which I've always interpreted as her talking about all seasons, not just DL). Due to the time they spend together, it's here where it becomes apparent that their initial assumptions during 3L were not entirely accurate, as Scott shows a level of gameplay competency much higher than Cleo's (e.g. teaching her how to axe-crit) but despite this Scott never berates her or thinks any less of her value as his ally.

LimL is probably this pairing at their most unhinged, as Scott, despite once again asking for nothing (or very little -- I'll be honest I'm a bit fuzzy on this) in return from Cleo, allows them and their allies to butcher him repeatedly for time. He gives more time to the Clockers than he does to Martyn, his closest ally that season. Despite this, Scott is never ever considered as a "family member" by the Clockers, despite them giving that title to even temporary allies (like the Bad Boys being their cousins) -- even Martyn gets a title with Scott completely unattached.

SL is relatively more chill, but shows that the two inevitably end up teaming together even despite their oath to avoid eachother that season.

The point being -- again and again, we see Scott literally and metaphorically making sacrifices for Cleo, with the only real transaction he requires from her being that she continues having his back when times get rough. This is despite that he's aware she isn't any more capable than he is and the fact that so far it has only been Cleo in rough times (LL, LimL and SL) and never Scott.

Speaking from a purely transactional perspective, Scott is not getting a bargain here -- and even Cleo seems acutely aware of it, judging by her comment during DL as well as the way she tends to speak of her survival capabilities very lowly in general ("rubbish pvp skills and spiffy one-liners"). I'm speaking in this sense because I've seen discussions in the past about the transactional way Scott views relationships but rarely does Cleo get brought up.

This is at stark contrast to how he treats Jimmy, whose predicted death was what spurred on Scott and Cleo's alliance in the first place.

Scott assumes Jimmy is "incompetent", where he assumes Cleo is capable. When Jimmy messes up, he reprimands him, when Cleo struggles to crit him, he patiently teaches her. When LL begins, Scott's first instinct was to look at Jimmy's lives and note that he was "useless to (him)", but holds no objections to Cleo joining his alliance despite her already having enemies being a potential liability. In SL, he jokes about how Cleo and him being allied is a given and pretty much expected of them, whereas in LimL he explicitly requests from Jimmy a recognition that he still cares ("say love you back!") before he will help him.

Scott and Gem || "You HAVE TO kill me, Gem,"

In SL, Gem settles in very easily in a leadership position within Gem and the Scotts due to her trying to live up to her reputation but also due to Scott and Impulse's more laid back, passive playstyles.

Both Scott and Impulse let Gem kill them for extra health this season, although Scott is arguably much more subservient than Impulse is, with him not only insisting that she kill him in the final episode but also not fighting back (and only yelling for her to stop) when she starts hitting him with a sword during the episode where her task was to literally kill everyone on the server.

Once again comparing her to Jimmy, Scott in 3L had a tendency to brush aside Jimmy's concerns over alliances (e.g. Jimmy questioning if they could trust Cleo) while in SL Scott runs his plans by Gem (and Pearl and Impulse) in terms of who he wanted to team up with (specifically excluding Joel from the potential mounders alliance) implying he held her opinion in some form of regard.

Before this becomes less of an analysis of Scott's treatment of men vs women and more of Scott's treatment of Jimmy vs everyone else, I think it's notable enough to mention that he and Martyn also lacked this sort of communication in LimL. He would inform Martyn of his plans, but rarely was it ever framed as a request.

SL almost feels as if Scott has slid Gem into the slot he had previously designated for Cleo in 3L (his girlboss ally) as he provides her and pretty much forces onto her by the end the acts of service he'd become accustomed to performing for Cleo.

Scott and Lizzie || "You killed her! I don't.. I don't know what to even say!"

Relatively shorter section because this is the one woman he hasn't teamed with, but there's still some interesting stuff I wanted to touch on.

In LL, one of the first thing Scott does is yell at Pearl to revenge-kill Joel for boogey-killing him. Pearl does as she's told and Joel's wet miserable pathetic LL life gets worse from there.

Several episodes later, the roles are reversed -- Lizzie lies to both of them and manages to isolate and boogey-kill Pearl. Scott, instead of reacting with the anger he had for Joel, is almost in a state of shock as he asks Lizzie to let him down so he could collect Pearl's belongings. He doesn't act aggressively towards Lizzie at all, with his most antagonizing act against her being to lie about his intentions when giving her a wither skull.

In SL, he's the only one aware of her early permadeath, but keeps quiet about it almost as if he's in a state of shock akin to when he saw Lizzie kill Pearl in LL. It's not until the others have noticed when he finally brings it up.

Scott and Pearl || "Tilly death do us 'part"

I wrote a whole post just for their relationship alone so for the sake of my sanity I'll be leaving this here.

So now I get to dedicate this section to the meat of this post -- how the way Scott treats women in general impacts his relationship with Pearl and how I view his heel-turn on her as seeping with relevance to Pearl's perceived gender.

In all three of the previous sections, the running theme is that Scott is 1. kinder and more patient with women, regardless of their competency and 2. someone who likes to be in a supporting role to women, occasionally aiding them more than he aids himself and his closer male allies (e.g. Jimmy and Martyn). As shown with Cleo, he assumes that girls have it together, but even if they don't it's not a big deal. When a girl's actions are truly disastrous, such as with Lizzie's, he goes into a state of shock and doesn't really react, preferring to swallow it down and not acknowledge it.

With the amount of times he sacrifices himself, I don't think it's a reach to say that Scott values his own life less than he values the lives of his (female) allies. This specific point actually does extend to his male allies too, shown when he's happy when Martyn literally backstabs him in LimL, but just as with the Martyn post where I point out his victim status-ing doesn't end at only women but includes all the women, Scott has pedastal-ed all the women he's teamed with.

Lizzie is, once again, the exception here due to his limited interactions with her. However that's actually somewhat patched over if you look at adjacent series (such as x-life) where he definitely shows her a level of admiration and respect.

Back to Scott and Pearl.

Their relationship during LL is very standard of how Scott treats women. While the power dynamic between them is obviously more caused by the initial life trade agreement, I don't think it's a far reach to say that Scott is somewhat comfortable in the arrangement.

However, this is also the first thing that sets their relationship apart from Scott with Cleo or Gem -- Pearl is the one making sacrifices, not Scott. She is the one "sacrificing" her lives to him, just in a more non-violent way as allowed by the season's mechanics.

When viewed through this lens, Scott trying to make it up to her and wanting his effort acknowledged makes even more sense. This is suddenly uncharted waters for him. His assuming that Pearl doesn't value him as a person goes hand in hand with him valuing himself less than her.

What Scott has with Cleo or Gem, situations where the other party is clearly uncomfortable with how he treats himself (Gem) or actively aware they are taking advantage of him (Cleo), is equalized to him because he is inherently worth less. What he has with Pearl, on the other hand, looks more equal to most people (lives vs labour) but is wildly imbalanced to him.

It's one of the many factors I see going into Scott's weird decision to abandon her in DL.

An Interlude, Before We Get to DL

La Pieta, Michelangelo

So this has been a lot of words so far and some of you might be wondering at this point: why say Scott is "weird" about women when so far this has been describing how he values women more, is kinder to them, is more patient with them, etc.? How is any of this behaviour remotely misogynistic?

And I would feel horrible if I forced you to read through all of my DL thoughts before I clarified this -- Scott is not your classic wifebeater "women are lesser" misogynist, Scott is someone who subscribes to misogynistic schools of thought and probably considers himself an ally to women, when in reality his beliefs are still rooted in dehumanizing them and these beliefs end up harming the women around him as well as himself.

After all, seeing women are your superiors is still not seeing them as your equals.

I know it's a bit of a meme on this blog at this point. But. Sigmund Freud identified what we know refer to as the "madonna/whore complex", which he described as a pattern of behaviour in men who separated women into being madonnas (pure, holy and admirable) and whores (debased, sexual, deviant). We'll be focusing on the former, the madonna, as it is more relevant to Scott's character.

Freud proposed that the madonna figure was something men projected onto women as a replacement for maternal love. These women are sacred and untouchable, literally as the projection of the maternal role onto them also makes it so that the sufferer cannot feel any sexual attraction towards her (keep this in mind for later).

Scott projects the madonna figure onto his female compatriots -- they are to be protected, served and supported. They are goddesses, queens, but they are never human. The madonna role in of itself is not inherently harmful to the woman, as seen with Cleo who takes control and advantage of it. However, it is enforced, as seen with Gem who at first revels in the superiority but almost breaks down when Scott offers him up as her sacrificial lamb one last time.

I linked this Utena AMV awhile back when vaguely talking about Scott and women, and this was the point I was alluding to.

Girls are beautiful and pure. They don't spit on the street, they don't piss on the street, they don't build hierarchies -- they subvert all the expectations of masculinity that I hate having to deal with. They are my escape.

But what about the girls who do spit on the street? The girls who piss on seats? Who build social hierarchies, who size up their competition?

The girls Scott interacts with are all painfully human. Cleo weaponizes his beliefs and take advantage of him. Scott is smart enough to know and accept this. Gem's playing into a role she has been assigned into by not only Scott but everyone around her. Scott supports the character she plays. Lizzie reflects traits he hates in Joel and Jimmy, but for her, he looks the other way.

Are they "demons", as the song says, or are they no longer girls at all?

(demons, gods, but never humans)

Weaponized Femininity and Women In Total Control of Themselves ;)

Hylas and the Nymphs, John William Waterhouse

Historically, weaponized femininity I'd argue is one of the oldest tropes in storytelling. Whether it's nymphs or sirens or witches or succubi or even more roundabout cases like Helen of Troy, there's countless stories of men's sexual attraction to women leading them to disaster.

One way to view these stories is to see them as warnings, don't let womens allure be the end of you.

There's a lot of good writing done on the femme fatale trope both in the context of weaponizing femininity and as a sexist way to argue against victims of sexual assault, as these stories often say that men who experience attraction to these "evil" women no longer have agency over their own actions.

Look at the painting above, for example - is it the nymphs who are responsible for drowning Hylas, or is Hylas climbing into the lake of his own accord?

Despite the fact we all know sirens, nymphs and succubi aren't real, the belief that men will simply lose control of themselves when encountering a particularly alluring woman persists to the modern consciousness. That there's something inherently dangerous about women and attraction to them.

(this is not 100% applicable to Ninja saying he won't stream with women, but it's the real life example I felt most comfortable putting in here)

Now, let's combine this with what's been said so far -- let's say you don't hate women. You love women, in fact, and you hate the way men treat women. You hate men, in fact.

Yet, you still believe in this inherent power women hold by being female and the loss of agency that men experience when attracted to them -- how disgusting.

It quickly becomes easily to not only demonize men for sullying the holiness of women, but also men, masculinity and attraction to women as a whole.

(apologies for using twt discourse in the meta post but this flew by my TL and i had to grab the irl example of mens non-violent attraction to women being used to frame them as misogynistic before the stupid app refreshed and i lose everything forever)

"To Venner" is a student film exploring a world set within this belief, where all the women have vanished and the men have become monstrous figures as a result of their pent up sexual frustration. fyi this is one of my favourite student films (and ive watched a bunch), but I do think its messaging is worth breaking down (especially its juxtaposition of dirty horrible monstrous sexuality vs pure and beautiful romantic love)

NOTE: this film is super graphic, lots of violence and nudity. have fun. or not

I admit this section is a bit hard to gauge as everyone in the series is gay as fuck. The closest in-series example I can think of is Scott reacting to Martyn's antics in DL with a sort of indigence but otherwise I can't really think of an example of a man expressing attraction to a woman at all, let alone one Scott reacted to. However, I do think it's still worth talking about because it opens up some interesting trains of thought in regard to Scott and Pearl.

For Scott, he himself has never been part of the picture. He's gay, after all, which gives him an edge over the bad straight men who objectify and assault women. Likewise, there's little evidence to suggest he finds the expectations of masculinity frustrating, but I don't think it's too far a reach considering how common of an experience that is for gay men and his adapting of more feminine mannerisms.

Double Life and Corruption

As mentioned in my previously linked post about Scott and Pearl's relationship, I do think Scott experiences what he would name as attraction towards Pearl, so my writing will reflect that.

Pearl is. ahem. not like other girls.

Not actually. But to Scott, she probably isn't like other girls.

She remains unaware of his different standards for her (how could she when she had nothing to compare them to), she acts out, sometimes violently, against Scott's urging (such as when she stole from Scar's wagon). She maintains their already irregular dynamic, and while she appreciates his care for her, she never quite falls into seeing him as a source of subservience the way Cleo or Gem do.

At the end of LL, right before the 1v1v1v1, she monologues to herself that she no longer has to feel bad for killing Scott. Which, in turn, implies she expected Scott to give it his all against her as well.

She entirely fails to embody the madonna with her immature naivete and her questionable morals. She is unpredictable, she doesn't take what she is owed, she is a monster in a lot of ways.

Scott, too, is a monster, to himself, for how he feels about her.

The very foundations of your understanding of yourself being ripped apart aside, let's rewind to the madonna/whore complex. To sexualise the madonna is to corrupt her and make a monster of yourself. Suddenly, you are no better than the men around you, the ones you've grown to hate. Suddenly, you are the grotesque figures in films like To Venner. You are Hylas and she is the nymph. And you are so stupid. Your worldview crumbles around its flawed foundations.

Scott is, however, immune to this corruption. This is a theme that appears in Empires as well, but throughout the traffic series he's prided himself on being loyal and kind and good. His monologue leading up to LL's 1v1v1v1 summarizes it quite well.

He can't let himself or anyone else see this side of him, but the energy needs to go somewhere. To defy fate, abandon your soulmate, is to admit you had a fate in the first place, is to acknowledge that she was your soulmate in the first place.

I've previously talked about how fate and romance are very ingrained in Scott's belief system, if it was anyone else it would've been amazing. He could've been like Bdubs and Impulse or Ren and Bigb, diving into domestic life and performative romance with a stranger. Or the world could've made his happy ending from 3L real, as he got to be Jimmy's husband all over again. I think it says something that he accepts Cleo as a "soulmate" before Pearl.

So what do you do with all that energy and tension, clearly apparent to yourself and everyone else, when you can't let them observe your feelings?

You project them.

Shout-outs to @/legally-allowed-to-slime for pointing out Pearl's comment early on in DL that she "feels like (she's) been broken up with" confirms she never saw Scott in a romantic sense. The "crazy ex-girlfriend" and "this is why I'm gay" comments really did come out of thin air, or perhaps insecurity.

Pearl is the crazy one. She's insane, because she wants me. She wants to be with me, so she does all this crazy stuff. She's lost control of herself because she wants me. She's disgusting.

I mentioned before that Scott is not your classic misogynist, but this is where the gears start turning. Scott's views of Pearl echo that of other players, most prominently Ren and Martyn, that Pearl has been overcome with some sort of corruption. She has become the witch, the demoness, the whore, in their eyes. Scott does not want to be the same as these men and I think his overcorrecting his behaviour in SL makes sense when you view it from this angle, but for now he has to rely on more traditional misogyny in order to navigate this new obstacle.

"Corruption" also implies that she had to have been pure (or at least pure-er) beforehand, something Scott personally knows is not true, but it falls in line with defaulting women to being "madonnas".

This is a Scott post but. shout outs to Ren for being all of this about Pearl but without the complexity of Scott like he literally accuses Pearl of seducing Bigb what the fuck man.

Pearl is, of course, none of that. But she plays into the role of being the witch much better than she fared playing into the role of the madonna.

Sidenote: I know I'm looking at this from a Scott/Pearl POV but I do feel like you can omit Scott's attraction if you look at it from a purely "pearl not performing to standards of femininity I expect and she makes me realise I don't view women as a whole as human which makes me feel weird so now we have to do this" POV. Like idk I think the exact reason he abandoned Pearl is going to be lost on everyone forever so any analysis I could perform is going to suffer at least a little bit of making-shit-up-itis.

I do also think there's something to be said about Pearl being pushed until she performed a role, any role and generally failing at Being A Girl tm but that's another post i think. yknow shes um. a bit. 🏳️‍⚧️ (but also very much not at the same time idk that's gonna need its own post)

anyway yeah uh the minecraft movie looks crazy huh

[cripplecharacters]

Feel free not to answer this question as it's more a research-type question, I'm just not sure how to go about finding what I need: do you happen to know any fiction books with portrayals of medium to high support autistic people that are considered realistic and positive? All I can find is rep of low support autistic ppl (unless it's in semi-educational children's books) and it's making it harder to figure out how to write medium to high support autistic ppl myself.

Hello!

When I was diagnosed, it was before the levels were used (Or at least before they were used where I lived). I suspect that I would be considered 'level one autistic' today but would likely have been 'level two', bridging into 'level three' as a child. This is all just to explain my perspective with this.

That being said, here are some of my recommendations:

A Step Toward Falling by Cammie McGovern

I just finished this book earlier today and while it isn't specifically about autistic characters, it does feature several autistic characters with high support needs as well as other disabled characters. The book is written from the perspective of two characters, one of which is developmentally disabled (Belinda). Although her disability is never specified, I do see a lot of autistic traits in Belinda. The premise of this book is a bit heavy. It's about two characters (Who are not disabled) who end up volunteering at a centre for adults with developmental disabilities. One of the things I appreciated about this book was how well rounded the characters are. Each of them has their own stories, interests, and ideas. I also like how it discussed sex and relationships in the context of people with developmental disabilities. Something to note is that this does have some sensitive topics such as ableism, sexual assault, and bullying. It is also written by a parent of an autistic child but, as far as I'm aware, the author herself is abled. I did have some conflicted feelings about specific parts of it but I'll leave that for you to make your own decisions about. Target Audience: Young Adult

How to Speak Dolphin by Ginny Rorby

I also read this book recently and I personally really disliked it. There were several scenes that made me feel very gross and I found that the autistic character was dehumanized very often. One line that stuck with me was another character about a blind character, essentially saying, "I thought she was going to drown herself. If I was blind, that's what I would do." Although the character does get to know the blind character and changes her mind, it really felt awful to read and seemed so unnecessary -- especially given the target audience. The way it talks about blindness in general bugs me. That being said, I have seen several autistic people recommending the book (Which was why I read it in the first place) so I'll include it here anyways since my opinion seems to be in the minority around this book. Target Audience: Elementary/Middle Schoolers This is a brief review from another autistic person. [Link]

Planet Earth is Blue by Nicole Panteleakos

This book centers around Nova, a young autistic girl with high support needs. Nova is a foster child who is missing her older sister and the story is told through a mix of narrative, letters to Nova's sister, and flashbacks. It's been a while since I've read this book but I remember really enjoying it (And maybe crying a little bit too). The author is autistic herself and also consulted many other autistic people with a variety of experiences, which I appreciated. Target Audience: Middle Schoolers This is a more in-depth review on the book from a reader who (I believe) is also autistic. [Link]

These are also a couple books that I've seen recommended but can't personally recommend as I haven't read them myself yet:

Real by Carol Cujec

Remember Dippy by Shirley Reva Vernick

I know it's not very much but hopefully it's enough to get you started! If anyone has any recommendations for anon, feel free to mention them in the notes.

Cheers,

~ Mod Icarus

[red-hibiscus]

Just finished watching Paradise of Thorns with a friend

Our thoughts (with some spoilers):

Overall, it had A LOT of potential to be a masterpiece, but it kind of went in a totally different direction than we thought it would and not in a way we particularly liked. Cinematography, acting, and music was great. Concept was good. Set up was good. The movie ended with us kind of not liking anyone. Especially after that very last fight. Everyone is objectively kind of a bad person.

Certain things we thought were unnecessary or could've been done a bit differently. Sek didn't need the whole cheating thing. Mo could've been a younger sister who hates Sek bc he got the land and not her. Or maybe she's a legitimate ex idk. Even an actually adopted daughter. This is partially bc the trailer (and first half of the film) leads you to believe it's a legal battle that shows what happens when gay ppl (who love each other) can't get married. Which does happen in the film, but Sek betraying people kind of weakens the impact of that. The focus is shifted.

Also the attempted rape was not needed at all. They could've continued with the slasher. It would've sufficed. Speaking of that slasher ending, where was Jingna? They weren't that far from him and they were screaming pretty loud.

My friend said she didn't like how quick Tongkam was to fall for Jingna. Personally (especially after seeing much bl) I can justify it from a plot perspective ig. I can work with it. At least the feelings. I think the suddenly acting like Jinga is his soulmate was fast though. Maybe he's desperate and lonely and wants to confirm an ally/loved one. Idk. Tongkam's brain confused me a bit.

I've said a bunch of negative things, so some positive things...

I think the Mo and the mom slowly but forcefully pushing out Tongkam was well done. It really made it feel like he was losing literally everything. Husband dead, house taken, literally sleeping outside without a good mosquito net despite having paid for everything. Well done. I felt the pain and frustration.

The actual pain of not being able to have the surgery done bc Tongkam isn't legally Sek's husband, and then not being able to get the land was intense. Really well done.

The sabotaging of the water and plants while Tongkam was out was smart and sad. The whole murder scene of the mom was intense and interesting. Tbh I thought it would've gotten more intense than it did. Wish they lingered on that plot a bit more. Similarly the reveal of Mo taking the chance to kill Sek was... in retrospect kind of predictable, but yeah fits the vibe and character.

That kiss scene under the mosquito net was aesthetically amazing. A+

My friend didn't like how it suddenly turned slasher at the end. Imo while it doesn't fit the vibe of the start of the film, I won't exactly say no to sudden blood and fighting. So some of that scene I did enjoy (minus the parts I mentioned above).

Conclusion:

Beautifully shot with great acting. Jeff looked gorgeous. Really had some amazing potential and I liked the first half the movie a lot. We both did. Some things were really well done and got me really attached and emotional to the whole story. Started going downhill due to certain plot choices we didn't really agree with. We also felt there was some plot holes. Wished some things could've been explained a bit better. This one is more of my friends thing, but I do think some relationships could've been a touch clearer. With a second watch on my own when I'm not chatting with a friend maybe I'd be fine for me.

I give it maybe a 7.5~8/10??? Do I recommend. Possibly, with warnings.

[tree-obsession]

hopes/theories/predictions for each of the chrysos heirs' + cyrene's personalities

not at all accurate, and i haven't seen any story leaks yet(although i saw the coreflame ones, so beware)! this was written a few days before 3.0 came out and is just for fun! only the chrysos heirs i know the names and faces of... sorry hysilens fans, i have no idea for her :(. cyrene is included because a) i love her and elysia and b) she's gonna be relevant, even if idk if she'll be a chrysos heir

a few coreflame spoiler under the cut, but no other story leaks! a bunch of people have already predicted the coreflames anyway lol

aglaea- im very excited for her story-wise, a couple people have already said she probably has some hidden side to her, and she may even become an antagonist of sorts in the second part! i personally love that she's the oldest(maybe? or just most experienced) heir and the one to unite them all. she's our first playable so she'll def be super important. i really wanna know what her golden apple thingy is all about too... but aside from that she's ETHEREAL. i need to know everything about her she's so gorgeous. she can commit a little murder as a treat i think she would deserve it. idk why i just get that feeling. she's so calm and elegant and stoic like i think she should go just a little apeshit for the hell of it.

tribbie- im really curious- did she split into three or are they born triplets who all carry the coreflame? how does all that work? why does she have two city affiliations in her drip? im not the most interested in her, per se, but she's got a lot of questions too. i hope she's playable as three characters because i wanna see those animations!!

anaxa- honestly i have the most questions + speculations about him. like what happened to his dull eye(s)? why does he have an eyepatch? why's he called "the Foolish"? how are he and hyacine related? why are his eyes the same colors as March's(and from a planet where she'll be very story relevant? i'm very biased at him cause su's my favorite male character in hi3 and anaxagoras was one of my fav greek philosophers. i already said this in a different post but su's variants are all batshit insane so he's gonna be. interesting! also the timeloop theory and him maybe being aware of it?? that got me really interested. but his name is the bit really bothering me- why name his after the guy who a) invented the concept of nous, an aeon we know is involved in amphoreus b) didn't believe gods were responsible for bits of the world like everyone else did(which is gonna come up in amphoreus just you wait) and c) was right about basically everything several hundred years before anyone had the tech to back it up?? like that's still insane to me. also how are we getting his coreflame if cerces is dead like come on what's going on there?? i wanna shake him around in a box im excited for him!

hyacine- lots of theories saying she might also be from the grove of epiphany, and she and anaxa were sitting in the same tree in golden epic trailer! i think her design's super cute, and she'll be important if her titan is actually aquila like people have theorized. she'll probs be a healer? i wonder what the inspiration behind her name is too... she doesn't seem to have flower motifs, even, but if she's from the grove that makes a bit more sense. i'd initially thought she was from aidonia, a city in the mountains(near the sky) plus the place aquila might be from(judging from ancient hymns, but that could be my misinterpretation). im so pulling for her. i also really hope she and anaxa have a big brother-little sister relationship like ppl on twitter have said, bc they looked so happy together in that one frame of nameless faces and im weak for found family.

mydei- uhhh a lot of people have said gap moe?? idk if that's a theory or leaks- personally i think it would be super funny. im a little worried about him, cause the words in his drip marketing were... super ominous, like why does he have to die a thousand deaths? he's a prince, which makes me wonder how nobility works in amphoreus + when castrum kremnos was destroyed, but that's a different conversation. i like the little braids in his design- good nod to greek culture! he's also got a throne in the nameless faces trailer which is kinda interesting and probably foreshadowing

cipher - par! do! fe! lis! i LOVE trickery characters so i'll probs pull her unless i have zero funds. her model looks so different from the initial art but i do still love the vibes so i'm not that put off. she already has her coreflame! but that one scene in nameless faces where she's surrounded by flames... no death flags im begging. elysian realm was bad enough for sure. let them be happy!! i have high hopes for her personality- i hope they don't lean too much into the "catty"(hah) bit and focus on her backstory, whatever that may be!

castorice- afgausdfyg her ANIMATION?! must pull! she's so gorgeous and she has a butterfly motif and she's related to DEATH in a GREEK MYTHOLOGY WORLD and she has a MASSIVE SCYTHE im going absolutely insane. also dull eyes syndrome for the win! she's gonna make me cry. side note her dragon's super cool looking too. i hope she becomes a major companion for tb (it seems so from the remembrance tb keeping up with star rail!). she's. im gonna enjoy her part of the quest so much oh god. im shaking in excitement. also while i dont like the same dress on every single hsr girl hers actually looks pretty good. if they put butterflies and dragons into all her animations i might actually pull eidolons, which so far i've only done for ruan mei. that's the power of a death goddess tho!! im so excited for her.

phainon- kevin... smiling... looking like a puppy... oh god my h e a r t. if he's like a happy lil puppy like he was before the Traumas + dr mei's death in hi3 i'll throw myself through a wall. hoyo please let him be happy this one time let all the flamechasers have a happy end im begging. they deserve it. im begging for all the people who theorize he will have to hold the world on his shoulders to be wrong about just this one thing because my heart WILL give out just a bit.

cyrene- ELYSIA ELYSIA!!! oh god she's so tiny!! she's got the same lil giggle and attitude about happy stories im gonna ghksufgukygfk jhf. but anyway. we know nothing about her yet, but i like the theories that she's somehow on the "outside" of amphoreus looking in + the ones saying mem is her fursona. she's adorable and i really, really hope she's playable. so much. you know her animations would go so hard you know it hoyo loves elysia too much for anything else.

one last thing i just wanted to say that i already said on twt: i think in the golden epic trailer, the first one, the order in which the chrysos heirs were introduced is the order aglaea recruited them in! i have no real evidence, other than that it would kinda make sense and having tribbie second makes sense because... messenger who can recruit heirs! but idk, just a random thought.

aaand that's all! again, these are all speculations + hopes nothing i say here will necessarily be canon :)

[amandapearls]

Not the antis saying that Elriels are the ones that don’t care about Elain…💀🤡 Because apparently Az would do the things he does for Elain for everyone else and that he just sees her as another lover, that he wants to keep a secret.

I’ve also seen them point out that Az was still dreaming and lusting ovwr Mor when Elain was just THERE. I mean, first of all… we don’t know the extent of his feelings for Mor. We just know what everyone assumes LOL. And yeah, Az is there to save people, he defends very strongly those he cares about, but did he EVER had a reaction to anyone else like he had for Elain when she was taken for example? Nope. Alsoooo, Elriel just has a normal build up, from friends to (almost) lovers. It took some time for Az to get over whatever he was feeling for Mor. Ofc. But he developed a friendship with Elain in the meantime, that turned into something more eventually. Even in ACOSF is said pretty clear that he basically gave up to Mor. After all this time. But I’m repeating myself, we don’t know the exact extent of what he felt for Mor. Maybe he just let ppl assume lol, bc I refuse to believe he’d just act like he doesn’t get the hint from Mor for like 500 years, when he knows basically everything. Things are more complex than that.

And the ones that don’t like Elain are the ones that pair and force her with a male she doesn’t want. At all. Guess which one is that. SJM said that it’s obvious who the next book is about and she also build this ship for several books now. Just stop pretending your ship has ANY chance. The lies y’all tell yourselves just so your ship can “earn” half a point in the romance department are laughable.

I genuinely can’t wait for the day to prove y’all WRONG. 💅🏻

Goodness you guys love sending long as hell anons.

1. I’d say that if you ship Elain and Azriel then you don’t really love Elain. If you loved Elain, then you’d ship her with the person who would treat her the best and actually care about her wellbeing (aka her MATE). Also, we don’t have Elain’s POV yet, so nobody truly knows how Elain feels about her mate.

2. When Rhys confronted Azriel about Elain in the bonus chapter, Azriel did NOT say “I think I’m in love with Elain” or “she’s special to me” or “I really care about Elain”. Nothing. Instead he called her the third sister. Then let us know that he “hadn’t gotten that far in his planning, certainly NOT beyond the fantasies that he pleasured himself to”. Sounds like lust to me. And since Rhys can read minds— I’m sure he heard Azriels thoughts and knew that it wasn’t love. Rhys did the right thing here.

3. Rhys confronted Azriel about Mor in the bonus chapter and Azriel completely ignored that question. Hence, I do think Azriel still has some unresolved feelings for Mor that he needs to get over before he’s with anyone.

4. It’s stated multiple times throughout the book series that Azriel looks at Mor with “heat and longing”. And at the end of ACOMAF, when Azriel was poisoned he still tried to protect Mor. His sole focus was on Mor. So I’m pretty sure his feelings for Mor are spot on with what other characters have said in the books.

5. Sarah stated it was obvious and it is. The next book will be Azriel’s with Gwyn as his love interest. I think Azriel will finally get over his unresolved feelings for Mor in his book and he will fall in love with Gwyn. Based off ACOSF and the bonus chapter, I think it’s clear that they’re definitely mates. Especially since Gwyn is the only female to ever make Azriel feel a “spark in his chest”. Sounds like mates to me.

Can’t wait for the next book announcement too ❤️❤️

[enden-k]

hey! i absolute love your art and specially your ocs. i don't know if anyone asked you already and i apologize if you already answered this but i was wondering how did you came up with vika and saran's dynamic? i find them really interesting and appealing to see and i wanted to know your thoughts on how they came to be. sorry if i didn't make much sense, hope you have a good day!

oh its just a dynamic i really enjoy (mutual obsession; intense, extreme, true love to the point of consumption in any way; anything but "normal" (for a lack of better word, i hate this word) love) but dont rlly see bc of ppl either making everything extremely vanilla and pure bc theyre afraid most of the time, or the constant noncon/one persons obsession w another whos scared/doesnt want it in comics and i dont like the one and the other thing

i dont want them to force themselves on the other but i dont want clinically pure romance either. i need them both to be crazy as shit, to be obsessed with other and the other wanting it too

theres also some other stuff i dont really wanna get into. lets just say, im interested in looking into love itself and imagining how it is. its safe and not scary when i study it through art and not irl. bc i think if i (or maybe anyone else whos not uhh. like me) would experience a fraction of sarans or vikas love, i would actually go insane(r) from intensity lol

i kinda like mutual obsession/a level of possessiveness; i like not the cutesy, cozy simmer of affection beneath your skin but the full blown, all consuming love eating you whole; i like the need to be the only thing in your beloveds gaze and mind; i like that intensity of love, it makes you want to crawl inside your beloveds body to fully quench your need to be close them; the need to consume them to keep them as close to you as possible; i dont want power imbalance but both of them on the same level and same intensity of love. i want them both to give and to take. its so hard to put in words and i can only hope i can bring it across w them properly

anw yeah. when i started writing amygdala out, my plan was to make a lovestory like i already said before since i usually dont do lovestories when it comes to original works (i tend to do horror/dark fantasy/comedies); its just, its a lovestory in my way, ultimate love how i perceive it

i love gross or eerie things behind a pretty and/or seductive/erotic layer; the beauty of horror and unusual things and over it all, smth pure and innocent (be it by looks or concept. in this case, its vika and their love)

i think amygdala isnt only a lovestory between saran and vika but also a lovestory in the sense of things i just really love (mutual obsession and deep true love, consumption, ghosts, tentacles im not even joking, horror,....)

tl;dr: man i love octopus

sorry this got so long and i feel like i dissociated somewhere in the middle of it so im sorry if this makes no sense, doesnt answer anything or if im jumping around. literally going insaner than i already am over my own characters here wahh

[geekishfangirl]

I can’t view Batman/Bruce as a real hero

So I’ve gotten into DC recently, or more specifically I’ve gotten into the Batfam, and the more I learn about Bruce Wayne the harder it is for me to look to him as a hero.

I’ll preface all this by saying I have consumed very little DC content, so if something I say is not actually canon pls let me know.

It started when I learned that this man seemingly has an absolute no kill rule. Not a “I try to avoid killing and only do it when absolutely necessary” rule, but a “I refuse to kill anyone no matter the circumstances” rule. I honestly hate this because it’s not effective in any way. Take the Joker for example, Batman has to fight him over and over again because they simply cannot seem to keep that man in prison and Batman won’t kill him or let anyone else do it. I think this is because he wants to believe that anyone can change, and they can, but just because they CAN doesn’t mean that they WILL. People have to choose to change and the Joker has had like 30 chances to do so, yet he continues to kill innocent people. How many innocents have to die before someone acknowledges that the Joker will never choose to be a better person and finally decide to do what’s necessary to protect everyone? They either need to find a way to keep him in jail or just take him out.

This got worse when I learned about Jason Todd. Here you have a poor boy taken in by Bruce, who idealizes him and views him as a father, and when he gets kidnapped, tortured, and murdered by the Joker he dies alone. When he is brought back to life, he’s mad at Bruce, not because Bruce didn’t save him, but Bruce didn’t kill the Joker to avenge him. Because Bruce didn’t love him more than he loved Justice. Hell, even on his grave, “A good soldier”. I’ve seen ppl say that maybe he didn’t say son because he didn’t want to erase their family ties and the kids never took his last name and sure, I get that. But putting a good soldier instead? He didn’t have to do that. Jason wasn’t a soldier, he was a little boy. It seems like Bruce forgets that about the Robins sometimes. (None of this is even getting into my feelings about Bruce taking in multiple children and having them fight crime, literally risking their lives every night but then this rant would be even longer)

And apparently Bruce fucking decks Dick because Dick was asking him why he let him become Robin before he was ready? Bro cannot take any criticism for his actions I swear. I mean, even if he never officially adopts them (I’m very confused on that tbh) he does still view them as his kids. He still helped raise them. After all, they were all underage when he met them and took them in. So to straight up deck your eldest and tell him to get out literally right after your other kid was murdered solely because he questioned you is actually wild.

Then you have the whole batarang incident, which just makes me question his morals more because he’s got the whole “no killing whatsoever” thing going on but then decides, “I won’t kill the man who murdered my son and countless other innocents, but I can and will slit my son’s throat and leave him for dead.” Like, HUH??? Also, didn’t Dick accidentally kill the Joker once and Bruce went out of his way to REVIVE HIM? Honestly feels like Bruce has some weird relationship with the Joker cause he seems to care about him more than anything. LET THAT MONSTER DIE!

I saw someone say that they thought the “no killing” thing wasn’t effective but was accurate to Bruce’s character because his vigilanteism isn’t actually mainly about helping but about punishing himself for what happened to his parents. And if you kill the villains when you need to, you can’t keep punishing yourself through fighting them. Like a self-sabotage thing. I thought that was super interesting but it would also just go along with him not being a truly effective hero, cause he won’t make the hard calls that are sometimes needed.

In conclusion, while I am sure Bruce has done good for people, it’s hard to see him as a truly effective hero (or a good person/father for that matter) when he does stuff like this.

[skepticalarrie]

Hi Allie! How are you? I used to be in the fandom since 2012 and have been a larrie since early stages however I found myself distancing myself a bit after the hiatus and remained a louie from the sides. For different reasons i feel like i fell into the rabbit hole again (bc i probs never really left lol) and I was wondering:

1) have you seen the new thing about jade from Little Mix saying she apparently had a date w harry when they were 16? What do u think about it? tbf i feel like there was no point to bring that up anyways??

2) I consider myself v open minded when it comes to harry and louis and tbf have thought for a while that Freddie is very obviously louis’ son but still that doesn’t prove that harry and louis had nothing? I don’t see many people thinking that’s possible and i think ppl forget people can break up, have other partners and then get back together, i mean different dynamics exist. I have scrolled through your tags a lot as i have found them v interesting after getting “back” in the fandom and have not really found anything about this possibility. I find it hard to figure out where I stand w them bc the songs are crazy obvious in my eyes especially after being on the sidelines for a while and going back to listening to the lyrics w a fresh pov.

Like it’s hard for me to think they are still together bc i see their albums as strongly painful in terms of break ups and no communication and still having deep feelings for an ex hence why I 100% think they did have something up until maybe 2015 for obvious reasons and then have been on and off? I’m kind of confused lol.

Either way I don’t expect anything from them bc at the end of the day they do not really owe anyone anything whether they have been together and are not anymore, they still are to this day or never been I don’t think at this point they’re going to share anything and I can see them staying private until they’re probably much older. Sorry for the super long ask and thank you for what you’ve done w the tags!! It’s v helpful <3 have a good one

Hi, anon! Wow, I'm still so impressed by how many people have come back to the rabbit hole recently…so many of you! Welcome back!

I have! I think it’s funny how people are focusing on the fact that they had a “date,” when the reality is, he didn’t even show up! And that really sums up how people view Harry's relationships and life in general. They ignore everything else and suddenly become blind to the fact that if he stands next to someone, they're automatically together. But HE DIDN'T GO. And that’s the point! It’s funny how people try to spin things like that. I think trying to create stunts around Little Mix and One Direction was kind of inevitable, hence Zayn and Perrie. Maybe they were starting to study this possibility, even because I think she was pretty authentic about it and didn’t even mean too much about it, it’s just a funny story. But I do wonder how many other public relationships Harry avoided like this one. He really didn’t deserve any of that while he was so young, it’s kind of brutal to think about, especially since he also ended up apologizing to her.

In that case, no, they couldn’t have broken up during that time. If you believe Harry and Louis were together back in the day, most of the evidence comes from exactly that period where they were supposedly “broken up”, okay? People can believe whatever they want and create all sorts of theories about when they broke up, I really don’t mind. But I won’t accept the excuse that they broke up during that period and that Freddie is actually his son. That would just be ignoring everything that happened in 2015, where a lot of larries still point to key moments and evidence. So, it’s one or the other. So any other theories, sure.. but not that one. I have a LOT of posts about that, anon. Here are a few, besides my entire 2015 LARRY tag:

[billyjoecobra]

JOSEPH JOESTAR CHARACTER ANALYSIS (1)

I never see anyone talk or analyze Joseph very often in the fandom, which is tragic because i believe he's very complex!! So here's some thoughts to chew on, rattle around in your head a bit. It's all under the cut, and it is LONG AS HELL because i have a LOT to say on him!!! Warning though, it's not super properly punctuated as these are discord rambles of mine, but -- enjoy nonetheless!!

i think it's super interesting to note how every time someone puts joseph down, or does something shitty to him, he just doesn't care. not a single bit. he even says it's fine, maybe even deserved sometimes. he assumes people always thinks the worst of him, and yet doesn't really care aside from the one time he dressed in drag and got insulted about it. even then he was just kind of, "man. i looked hot though.." however every time someone even remotely upsets his friends or hurts those who don't deserve it or his family he goes. ABSOLUTELY APESHIT. he will get SO fighty.

he will immediately throw hands and hurt you physically without thinking about it he likes to put assholes in their place sometimes (i.e. the taxi driver, the nazis who insulted him. and any nazi really ) but that is different than really caring about what they say to him. i think he has a very strong moral code, though people tend to see him as quite dubious because of his loud and obnoxious behavior every consequence to his actions, he only worries what others close to him will think and he can easily be driven to a blind rage revenge if you dare to hurt his family in any way. because you DONT fuck with his family. family is the no. 1 thing he cares about

beating up racist cops? he only feels bad because he doesn't want to stress out erina with the thought of bailing him out. told speedwagon is dead? he's upset, but he keeps his cool and throws a punch at the guy for upsetting erina, and worries more about her comfort than his own. guys hijacking a plane and holding him hostage? he couldnt care less if he was the hostage, he only cared enough to stop it because it might risk getting speedwagon hurt. and it goes on

and for the sake of his family he keeps purposefully trying to risk himself to death repeatedly. when fighting kars lets not forget when he shot kars into space and his thoughts were about how he was ok with dying if it meant his family was safe i think . and i said this before this is just me getting my thoughts out way more eloquently with points i've already touched on before. but.

in a non emo way, it's really hit me how he isn't like. beat up about it. about assuming ppl always think the worst of him. he cares way more about others than himself type of guy thats like similar to "they're friendly but after awhile of their support and talking to them you realize to your horror you dont actually know anything about them at all" other than he's like. bold and brash and likes to start fights sometimes oh and lest we forget he also tends to take the death of loved ones so hard to the point that no matter the circumstances true causes he always blames himself.

he always blames himself and gets a bit. ummmmm i wouldn't say suicidal but like way too risky with his life and stops really caring if he'll die. he's just so used to nobody ever understanding him and his "off kilter" tbh neurodivergent way of thinking and living that he. like. he doesn't exactly have great self image beyond thinking he has sexy lips which sounds so silly but it's true and again it's not something he dwells on it's just kind of, A Fact to him. and this isn't even touching on the slew of issues i'm sure speedwagon's constant comparing of him to his dead grandfather must have caused.

It's very evident to me that he has ALWAYS felt like a burden to some degree i think. even when erina and speed havent really treated him as such. This is why I think his dynamic with speedwagon would be pretty strained / already seems as such -- bc. As I said before, he's ALWAYS comparing him to jonathan, even when he was just a kid.

NOW BY ALL MEANS!! I DO NOT THINK speedwagon means any ill will. it's just something that he just keeps.. doing because. well he respected jonathan so much, and it kind of clouds how he sees joseph because -- well, joseph is the SPITTING IMAGE of him. But not intending harm does not mean he hasn't caused any by doing that -- comparison can WRECK you pretty bad. joseph has made it clear that he knows he's nothing like jonathan in any regards except looks and i think it kind of contributes to his overall. tanked self image. and also the fact that he's a reminder of the tragedy of losing his parents ( or so they thought for a while. yk )

he deeply cares for him still, this much is true. he always will. but, it doesn't negate the serious comparison issue, constantly being told "WOW you have an attitude not at ALL like your grandpa, he would have never done x!! how do you look like him while being such an angry kid!!"

..... said without real malice or really bad intention, more out of exasperation. but. those kinds of things stick with kids. yknow? Joseph's always bottled up his emotions and tried to be on his best behavior for erina's sake. hes always a little more open with speedwagon. but .............. BWGHGURUGURGGH!!!!!!! i could go on for hours about it ok. but i shall move on to my next point now.

what sucks about it though is that the fandom tends to gloss over these bit of characterization at every turn. there is a lot of sadness and concerning things surrounding joseph that he just simply SHRUGS OFF about that it's kinda concerning! not that he'd ever really see a problem with it.

the fact that he was prepared to die / did the bet if only to distract them long enough to let caesar and speedwagon get away... you COULD maybe read it as a little bit of self preservation but given how he handles literally all other instances of him possibly dying., and the circumstances of him leading whammuu away being to SAVE those two. I think it yet again falls in line with "who gaf if i die i care if THEY die". then he gets stressed about the time he has left. which i imagine would stress ANYONE honestly. but . part of me thinks that it's also because this means that he has a short time to make sure he can be strong enough to protect everyone he loves and cares for..

that isn't ALL there is, of course. but i feel like with his behavior that is probably a big reason of it. You can summarize it all with one sentence; essentially,

joseph isn't afraid of death, nor dying himself; he's afraid of his loved ones dying.

This fact is extremely present in everything he does and says, but especially so when Caesar's death hits. THAT, however, i will make it's own post on. I have a lot to say on that and how it fucked him up for life. For now, though, I will move on and touch on another topic.

for all the loud opinions joseph seems to also speak none of it is ever really looked into much deeper as anything more than " he's just being joseph again" and he never really elaborates on it either, hence why a lot of people don't know much about him. While he is schrodinger's himbo -- too stupid to be smart, too smart to be stupid -- it's clearly all an act to get people to lower their expectations of him. He doesn't like being taken as a joke though. that he is a hater of for sure so. Joseph hides his true self behind a mask of idiocy and lackadaisical attitude to the point where it's blended into his actual truest self and he can hardly tell what's real and what's the mask. But at the same time, Joseph gets very angry when nobody takes him seriously because of his facade and trying to make everyone lower their expectations of him so he can pull the rug out from under them.

He's so mad when people don't take him serious but then continues to act pretty unserious and it's like. Well if you want them to take you more seriously bro you should stop doing that. Stop lowering others expectations so you can kick their asses or have a general upper hand just in case ( but he won't 💖)

he is a bit of a polarizing character but i hate when fandom reduces him to just "funny goofster" or ""cheater"", or writes him off as annoying with no depth to him. To judge Joseph through a lense of solely good or solely bad is a terrible idea; that man is gray moraled as HELL, he has a strong sense of self justice while also being incredibly underhanded and sneaky. If you dislike him, that's fine -- but don't discount his complexity just cause of that!!! He's not puddle deep, there's a lot of facets to how truly fucked up he is.

yeah. he is goofy, and he's a cheater at many things. but there's a lot to him. HE'S COMPLEX!!!!

[batsplat]

ive rlly enjoyed reading ur aliens x tennis + vale x tennis posts and i was wondering if u wld be interested in describing what u think the tennis styles/career for some of the other riders on the grid? obvs im partial to all things pecco (and i think he has the neuroses a lot of tennis players also seem to have) buuttt i think something abt fabio evokes the inherent tragedy of the average men's tennis player, and bez for whatever reason feel tennis player-y to me sometimes (mayhaps its the mopey-ness because i can 11/10 picture him sitting at his bench w/ a towel over his head after flopping a match lol) or how luca's tennis is like in relation to vale, also because he plays tennis recreationally i think (motogp riders superior to f1 drivers solely for the fact that they play real tennis its factual) and he's kinda one of the few ppl on the grid who's height doesn't have to be edited in a tennis au lol. Jorge M idk how to describe it but he also kinda tennis player-y to me sometimes, maybe its the chip on the shoulder (he wld be a racket smasher wldnt he lol) or just anyone else on the current grid you wld be interesting in imagining a tennis!alt of.

had a vision

valentino whenever he's watching a current men's match

anyway. yeah this is another fun one! I've vaguely had thoughts about SOME of these before but not all the names you mention so. another neat mental exercise, let's go through them. adding pedro as my one bonus pick but cutting myself off there because this is long enough.... the ones I was thinking of after that ended up being too mean anyway

pecco: realised that pecco's career timeline actually maps onto pretty well onto a certain single slam player currently active on the atp tour, which isn't going to serve as inspiration as far as playstyle is concerned (lol) - or indeed level of success - but is useful orientation in terms of career progression. by atp star standards, pecco is a 'late bloomer'. he makes nextgen finals and has a reasonably promising if not spectacular early career, then spends a couple years in the wilderness - partly due to injury, partly just struggling to make his game work at tour level. the forehand is very much the standout shot, but it is also the most fragile and prone to collapse, to leaking errors. the backhand is underrated, a very compact shot that like... the aesthetes won't go crazy about, but crucially it's solid and he can pick quite big targets with it to consistently go after. dispositionally, he's a baseliner who would prefer to finish points from there - though valentino does not allow a single kid to pass through his academy without insisting they reach a level of 'competent' at minimum at the soft skills. pecco CAN slice, even though he doesn't do a lot of it. he's also capable of finishing points off at the net, though he'd prefer to do so really just when he's already very much on top of the point

pecco has another thing going for him - he's fast. raw foot speed is obviously a great asset to have at your disposal, and it's probably the single quality he's most similar to his mentor to. while his second serve can be a bit too easy to attack and is occasionally liable to confidence issues (not yips-level double faulting, more that it gets pushed in too much), he improves his serve a lot early in his career to become an increasingly adept spot server. it's not the biggest serve, but it's unfailingly precise and helps him execute his preferred point patterns on serve. paired with the high foot speed, he can generally find a good plus one shot after the serve. he generally favours quite a deep return position - and while his game on the whole is offence-oriented, his return strategy is quite conservative, with an emphasis on a high percentage of balls made to help him reset the point to neutral. the basic potential of his offensive game paired with an ability to move well anywhere make him a relatively surface agnostic player, even by modern standards. his ideal court speed is probably in the medium range, so perhaps a bit less suited to your monte carlo's or your wimbledon's (though the former is a way more pronounced weakness than the latter given grass plays slower these days) - but on his day, he can be successful anywhere

generally speaking, while he absolutely has favourite tournaments he performs particularly well at, he's very much a confidence player who can go on hot runs and long winning streaks. more in the positive sense than the negative one - he has a good floor level and doesn't generally suffer from massive absence in confidence, it's just that when it's on it's REALLY on. during those periods, a lot of his wins are crushingly dominant... he's an excellent frontrunner, and even when he encounters resistance from his opponents he can usually dismantle it. that being said, he is also prone to unexpected and rather spectacular collapses from winning positions, as well as the semi-regular shock early upset in a draw. it's just generally a bit of a mixed bag with him... he's perfectly capable of the sort of gritty exercise in perseverance five set win that does his mentor proud, but then he's also got the other stuff. a common fan joke is that you trust pecco more when he's down two sets to love than when he's leading by two sets and a break. the collapses tend to most commonly be linked to confidence in the forehand going away, plus a certain stubbornness over certain strategic components like return position - again, he's a perfectly capable tactician and usually a very cerebral player, but when his head goes it sure does go. valentino spends a lot of time espousing the virtues of winning ugly in his direction, hoping something will stick. absolutely got the neuroticism to be a tennis player, pecco does. definitely needs a good support system, otherwise tennis will very much drive him insane

fabio: hm. well. fabio. my working process with these is that I usually like to have an idea in my head about career progression and like,, how that would work in this fictional tennis context, because I don't really think style of play can be separated out well from that. usually my starting point for that is, unsurprisingly, the riders' actual careers. the problem with fabio is that for all I agree that he is dispositionally very tennis-y, there's two major inflection points of his career - 2019 and 2022 - that make said career so interesting, but also make no sense whatsoever outside of a motogp context. so to some extent he does lose some of that narrative juice in tennis,, but that doesn't mean he can't still make a plenty fun player. very tennis-y

the thing about fabio is that I reckon he would bring back racquet smashing in a big way. of the aliens, my sense is you can broadly divide them into two camps on the racquet-smashing axis - very unlikely to bin a racquet where cameras can see them (valentino, dani, marc) and definitely worked their way through a fair few on court (casey, jorge). given that dovi probably belongs to the first camp, at the very highest level racquet smashing has been a bit underrepresented for a few years. but fabio? oh yeah, he knows how to throw a good tantrum. he's an emotional player! he wears his heart on his sleeve and you can see pretty much every emotion known to man on his face over the course of your average tennis match. has probably yelled at his team a fair bit during matches!! fabio's career is catnip for tennis discourse. the fans who hate him when he has 'feelings' (dangerous thing in tennis circles), the hoards who absolutely adore him and are waiting for him to fulfil his potential way before he wins his first slam... the choking allegations, the mentally fragile allegations. but also the genuine outpouring of joy on his behalf in a lot of quarters when he finally clinches his first slam!! ('finally' in this context does still mean '21'.) the natural talent is obvious from the outset, but the epic highs and lows TM keep people coming back more more

in terms of playstyle, I reckon it's a lot of linear power. he has very smooth, flowing technique, very easy on the eye. one of those swings where it looks like all the body parts are working perfectly with each other. he's from that school of two-handed backhand players who are so adept at taking the ball from low to the ground that they don't really have much use for the slice as a defensive shot. his style incorporates a lot of high margin aggression - it's a power game but one that chooses big targets and doesn't involve a lot of mistakes. his ball has enough spin and height to make sense for clay - which, given where he's from, you'd imagine could get a lot of french people very excited indeed. maybe he chokes away the first covid roland garros but then returns for glory. plays pecco at some point and they have to cancel the curfew because the frenchies refuse to leave. while he does throw in some error-strewn performances early in his career, it's key for him to have confidence in his game; he can't get away with retreating into passivity, and that's what a lot of his coaching focuses on. he gets better at finding that balance. at his best, fabio has no major weaknesses and is both solid and dangerous off both wings, making him a bit of a nightmare to put away. the playbook against him increasingly involves getting him off the baseline, which can work - he's sometimes a little stiff getting forwards - but also has to be executed very well to be effective. he also becomes increasingly tough to unsettle within matches... forces opponents to become increasingly creative in their tactics to throw him off-balance. fun puzzle to try and figure out

bez: yeah, he makes sense as a tennis player. super confidence-dependent. needs a very good support group and coaching team to stave off the loneliness of tour life. I mean,, actually idk if he DOES make sense as a tennis player, I could easily imagine him being MISERABLE in that lifestyle. but well, when's that ever stopped anyone in the sport. hm... I'm about to give another player on this list a one-handed backhand, and I'm trying to figure out whether I feel like I'm exaggerating the ratio of 1hbh's at the top of men's tennis. but no,, I think I'm good. two out of the top twenty two doesn't sound unreasonable, and there's maybe... one other guy I'd consider giving a 1hbh, so hardly egregious. the thought process here is casey's whole schtick about how great bez would've been if they'd simply get rid of all those pesky electronics. given I'd previously already assigned casey a single hander (one that's actually good, tbc), 'outdated elements of the game' do unfortunately make me think of that specific shot. bez has an extreme eastern grip on his backhand, where the racquet face is more closed and tends to involve a higher spin load on the ball. he avoids the most obvious pitfalls like a tendency to struggle with higher balls or a tendency to produce a lot of mishits - but it comes at the expense of power at that wing. he's also not particularly good at flattening the ball out or redirecting. which actually makes it a very strong rally ball, albeit one that still has a propensity to get bullied by serves - it's just as a complete package, it's not the ideal shot for the modern game

the forehand is also a bit of a throwback, but in a good way. it's not a noisy motion, the wrist is extended and the racquet face held high at takeback, allowing for a clean swing that generates power quite nicely. given the eastern grip on this wing, it makes bez one of the rare players who has more spin on his backhand than forehand. the serve, like that of bez's hero for most of his career, has a platform stance - far from unusual, though a little more uncommon than pinpoint. taken together, it gives bez quite a distinctive style on court... one that is also immediately very appealing to journalists and tennis commentators, who are taken by both the distinctive appearance and a game that reminds them of players they grew up watching. nostalgia-core. it is also theoretically a game that has all the basic building blocks to be very successful. bez has plenty of natural ability and a sort of instinctive grasp for the game that is tough to teach. he has the hand skills that for a while there make him look like the most likely heir to valentino's throne of the academy kids - though he has always been more aggressively minded and wants to dictate points with his forehand. it's a very liberated, fun type of play. throwing himself into balls with his whole body, lovely reactive brakes both in his footwork and in his groundstrokes. there are weaknesses to be exploited - especially in his capacity to generate offence and redirect off the backhand, allowing the most skilled players to pin him in that corner and prevent him from using his preferred pattern of running around the backhand to hit an inside out forehand. but the potential is all there, plenty obvious to see

there's plenty of talk in sports about athletes going to 'dark places' - a point that exists beyond natural limits and a certain pain threshold (whether physical or solely psychological), to allow oneself to fully sink into the suffering if that's what it takes to win. the basic idea is that to compete at the very highest level, you need to relinquish various defence mechanisms. to try to the fullest extent and fail nevertheless is inherently humiliating - but if you're too worried about what it'd be like to surrender yourself so completely to the effort and still come up short, then inevitably you cannot push past that limit. again, this is not a concept unique to tennis, but it sure is one relevant to this sport. and it's pretty obvious, even from the outside, that some athletes are more capable of accessing those dark places within themselves than others. some can even revel in the pain (again, physical or psychological), to a certain extent anyway. the most obvious example of that kind of character from the blokes featured in this post is... I mean. it's pecco. obviously it's pecco. I suspect bez exists a little bit too far on the other end of the spectrum, where he doesn't have the same level of comfort with his own suffering. tennis matches when everything is flowing smoothly are lots of fun, but champions need to find a way to win even on their bad days. for a while, bez is flying high, a mixture of glorious runs and valiant defeats that could certainly propel him to a few masters titles. but if the confidence in his game is ever seriously shaken... it could stay shaken. pecco may have choked a few leads away in his time, but he also possesses a near-unrivalled ability to pick himself up immediately afterwards and go again. bez is far more susceptible to downward spirals, which can be lethal in tennis. still needs to prove if he can adapt his game enough to break himself out of that kind of a spiral

luca: sometimes you look at a man and just go 'one-handed backhand'. idk if he has a single hander irl, I don't really care, his tennis pro version would. if luca had been born a decade later, this is probably something his brother would have discouraged, but in the noughties... nah. also, I've given two of valentino's five major rivals (sete and casey) one handed backhands, and for casey at least it's a major weapon. so. a lot of luca's formative memories are watching his older brother win slams and masters and atp finals, sometimes in-person, often on tv. but... idk, it feels right somehow that he ends up with a noticeably different style than his brother. a case of being inspired by valentino but not copying everything about him, also wanting to set himself apart a bit. the backhand is obviously the most easily visible expression of that, but it extends beyond that. luca's whole game is geared towards offence, to figuring out how to use his weapons to finish points off quickly. the forehand is flat and penetrating, the serve designed to create easy plus one putaways. luca's favourite surface to watch growing up is grass, so he does take valentino's slice and volley lessons very seriously. my general rule when trying to imagine a rider's game is to like... add about 15 cm to their height to keep them in similar proportions to each other - except with valentino, who doesn't play like someone that tall. if you did that with luca, you'd be taking him right into servebot territory, which... well... 199 cm by today's standards isn't CRAZY so... yeah sure, why not. it kinda naturally pushes him to a serve-oriented game that prioritises power over movement. (ofc not to the extent of tall men in the past, obviously by now there are several prominent examples of men of that height who are excellent movers.) make serve and volley happen again

given luca's age and because it'd be pleasing to me personally, I imagine a fair bit of valentino's input in helping luca develop his backhand boils down to 'go copy what stoner is doing'. this means luca ends up with a perfectly good backhand - not an extreme grip, compact takeback, heavy on hip rotation and doesn't really use the non-dominant arm as a counterweight. straight arm. it produces quite flat tennis on both wings, and for all that luca was also raised on clay and is perfectly competent at moving on the surface, grass is clearly his best surface. which is a bit of a shame because there's really not much going on with that surface beyond wimbledon. luca's style is a relatively extreme form of first strike tennis, played by somebody completely cognisant of that style's limitations but is attempting to maximise his chances with what he has at his disposal. he's a real student of the game, a proper tennis nerd, the type to make journalists want to propose to him in every other presser. (gets asked to oddly many pressers given his ranking.) for all that he's a top 20-30 staple, I imagine he'd also be invited to do some commentary work... analysis on tennis channel or italian broadcasts, that kind of thing - which he'd be wary of doing too much of, but essentially he'd be welcome any time. not always easy to escape his brother's considerable shadow, and he does get tired of being asked about him, but after a certain point he's mostly allowed to be his own guy. for all that he has his own ambitions and really is incredibly diligent in working on his own game, everybody already agrees he'll make a fantastic coach/commentator/coach + commentator when he retires

jorge m: oh hey, another racquet smasher! jorge probably smashes racquets when he WINS. very fired up type of guy, basically never needs time to work his way into matches. his tennis is THERE from the very first point. sometimes it's there in a very baseball-y aim-for-the-back-fence type of way, but it sure is there. in terms of sheer pace, jorge has the biggest forehand of anyone on this list. it also has a lethal amount of spin. just a lovely, loose explosive shot, a lot of work with that wrist. even by motogp standards, he's on the shorter side - which we're keeping for his tennis version (just plus 15 cm), making him naturally more suited to returning over serving. I'm pro emphasising his similarities with pecco, so I think he should also be particularly high on raw foot speed. looks quite different from pecco doing it, despite his height really goes in for big lunging steps and makes use of his considerable flexibility - he's really fun to watch with his athleticism and dogged determination to hunt down balls. compact backhand good at digging out balls, also not much use for slices. his ability to hit acute angles off both wings while moving is a particular strength and compliments his ability to generate pace from the centre of the court to make him an all-round offensive powerhouse. his volleys are... okay, but also don't necessarily go beyond that, and his transition game can be a bit lacking when it goes beyond 'big forehand go boom into the corner'. in general, he's the type of player who doesn't philosophically agree with the concept of 'defending', and would prefer to attack pretty much every ball from every position. sometimes, it's to his advantage - when he's chasing after balls and just instinctively using the opponent's pace and angle against them, there's less opportunity for the kind of over-exuberance that acquaints balls with the back fence

given his high proficiency at returning and his relative serving weakness (not super pronounced, it's just not the biggest weapon you'll find on tour), a lot of his offence is taking place from relatively neutral positions. this diminishes the margin in his matches - he's perfectly capable of involving himself in matches with lopsided scorelines in either direction. if the weapons are firing, great, if they're misfiring, he doesn't really have free points on serve to bail him out. it gets him a reputation for being a temperamental hot-and-cold player that is... true to some extent, but also maybe not entirely fair. early in his time on the main tour, he gets some big breakout results, before he sustains a career-threatening injury that he does well to bounce back from. it takes him a while to figure out how to reliably win with his game, to maybe get a slightly better sense of risk management within points and within matches. how to manage the rhythms of a match. gets better at learning to extend a rally and actually make better use of that speed - both him and pecco are at times susceptible to a sort of 'they bash you bash harder' mindset, but he has learned to reign it back a bit. maybe even learns how to integrate a teensy bit more variety into his game, gets better at taking out pace from his shots to construct rallies better. work up to his finishing shot rather than bashing until he gets one past his opponent. still a hothead!! and, yup, chip on the shoulder. the type of guy who gets het up about court assignments. bad line calls. his team not giving him adequate support. shitty balls. the weather. the roof. sometimes it's better for him to let out his emotions and have a little tantrum, rather than bottle it all up and stew on it - can be preferable to get it out of his system so he can then move on and keep playing well. for all that he has a temper, he also has a real capacity to deal with adversity. a work in progress, but he sure does keep working

bonus - pedro: counterpunching is back baby. it's good again. awoouuu (wolf howl). all the non-valentino aliens are way more offensively-minded than valentino was - so with the exception of dovi, the pusher-representation on the tour has been a bit lacking. pedro is not a pusher and he does have a fair bit loose, natural power... but his main strengths are explosive lateral movement and a backhand to die for. he also has more... bits to his game, layers, than some of the other players who have come through in recent years. he's quite natural with the slice and can hit a dropshot and takes a pro-volleying stance to his tennis. AND he's very amenable to flexible tactics. the kind of kid who will play one game as a pusher, realise it's not working, and then suddenly switch to bashing. he's got an ability to... play feasible rally shots from any position, like if he's sliding or if he's just reaching for a ball, he has this ability to flick his wrists and twist his hips to somehow dig the ball out. he's clever, very much a student of the game, and WANTS to use the full toolkit to dismantle his opponents. to take them on at their own game and beat them. however, he is still in the 'too many options' stage of development where he has all this Stuff at his disposal and needs to figure out what to do with it. an ability to both grind it out and be offensive will do him good in the long run, but he still needs to figure out when to do what and how to switch from one to the other within rallies

energetic on court, very much a Character who wants to involve the crowd. not necessarily in a nasty way, though he's not opposed to a bit of needle. tends to come across as quite cool and composed in the face of pressure, though it shows when he wants to do too much. another bloke who's more of a natural returner than server. maybe partly because the serve is..... temperamental right now. he can mix up the spins quite nicely, just the reliability and precision that's all over the place. the return strategy can also get a bit questionable, but the basic technical elements are all there. and a chipped return!! it exists!! very high rally tolerance, excellent balance that allows him to slide into balls and consistently recover well. a real deft touch for deceleration, both in terms of his literal movement and the shots he plays, how he's able to both absorb and inject pace at will. and, crucially, he brings with him a real willingness to grind it out. to win by gradually working the ball out of the opponent's range, or by waiting until they make a mistake. problem solve. again, it's the point construction where things are a bit wonky... the building blocks are all there, so. he'll get there

[coffeesleep-ooc]

I wish we had more than that one extra that talked about LBH’s experience with SQQ growing up. Like I understand why more of the book doesn’t reference the more casual end of white lotus era…but…I would’ve loved to see it refrenced more…actually nvm I think I would’ve gotten creeped out if done the way I’ve seen some people write it

Omg, thanks for sharing your thoughts 👀👀👀

I thirst everyday for what could have been 😔🙏

Honestly though, one of the few things that disappointed me in sv was the lack of disciple days shenanigans! It would have made the story x3 longer and it’s true that the contrast of a happy white lotus LBH and the consequent betrayal and miscommunications would have taken a hit but!!!! -insert whining dog noises-

i need it!!!

actually i thought that even that kind of content could have been played of as nostalgic and even heartbreaking in the right way, especially if it’s LBH reminiscing, but I also doubt he would avoid those kinds of thoughts a little bit bc he doesn’t want to question SQQ and his love ig? Maybe he is scared that if LBH demands answers SQQ will suddenly decide he doesn’t love him anymore and leave…LBH couldn’t take that

idk, that is my theory but i agree it would have been nice to have more of that content? Maybe crammed in before the IAC? But again, that would have made the novel longer -sighs-

Idk why you would have been creeped out? So im wondering! I mean…i’ve read a lot of fics including smol bunhe, from the horny simping LBH ones, passing through the ambiguous pining-LBH nothing is wrong here-SY and even the platonic end where LBH does have feelings but SY is snagged by someone else (imnot crying you are crying) and i believe that all takes are interesting even if a couple ones are a bit questionable…fiction wise

i do think that LBH growing up would slowly go from ‘Shizun is my god and my role model’ to ‘Shizun is my most silly man who i want to wife up and squeeze as soon as possible but he is still so good and peerless and im a bit potato but if he thinks me pleasing to look at I’ll maybe have a chance if I’m super explicit with my intentions…maybe’. And i think that process has a lot of potential??? Bc like, he puts SQQ in a literal pedestal at first but I imagine that living with the man makes LBH realize that SQQ is a human being with likes and dislikes, with a thin face and silly behavior underneath, who shows LBH more kindness and humanity than anyone else, and this is interesting bc other ppl did it before and after him, but LBH is stuck on him??? Also, we see sv from SY!SQQ’s pov, but again, LBH has suffered and known some of the darkness of the world before meeting SY, i believe his method of protecting himself is either to act cute and be super nice, even manipulative about it, while SJ’s was to be a prickly man with the ‘i hurt them first so they can’t hurt me later’ method, and this is why they are conflictive, different protection methods and different levels of blackening. When LBH realizes there’s nothing for him to cling to in a place, he will go silent like a shadow and endure until he can do something about it, if there’s something about SJ and LBH is about their parallels being breathtaking in the ‘im trying not to cry’ way and both endure and endure beyond their breaking point until something happens. SY transmigrated just in time to show LBH that the place he lived in still had some salvation, that the person that hated him and punished him still was capable of humanity!!! We don’t know what LBH thinks of SQQ changing like that, if he believes SQQ lost his memories or smth, but what he concerns himself with is basking in the light he thought was lost, and this makes him a naive character…he hasn’t lost his experience, he knows still what is to be scorned, alone in the world, treated like a street rat, but hopes that his current situation stays like this forever (except he starts getting greedier for SQQ’s love and affection in other ways)

i digress, LBH starts falling for SQQ bc the man shows him humanity underneath the kindness, later on he will be Shizun’s favorite (the dream for him, truly) but first SQQ shows him that he can make mistakes (skinner incident) and that he can be incredibly stupidly selfless (without a cure poisoning) and finally that he is a silly man, with a kind soul and with a lot of dignity and self-assurance despite his obliviousness of lots of things

On that note…idk why i’ve seen a lot of ppl saying that LBH would have fallen for the first person that showed him kindness? Like yes usually kindness is the base for love and interest, but as i see it, LBH didn’t fall for SQQ right away but gradually, not even knowing it himself until it was a tender devotion he couldn’t even try to suppress. LBH didn’t fall for NYY in sv? And she was kind to him, not helpful at all, but kind and human and flawed, but SQQ was such a bright light, such an imposing and beautiful being to him that he couldn’t feel anything for anyone else! Novel-canon LBH is just too obsessed with Shizun, and even PIDW LBG wanted to take him back with him, i mean…

And even if he did fall for someone kind and human like SY, that’s how life works, and i think that if a character deviates from his original narrative and manages to stay in character then it means it’s well built!

LBH is a very good character in my opinion and BingQiu is a very interesting dynamic full with nuances and hysterics (hehe), i do love reading about white lotus bunhe and i could only imagine what SQQ felt like when he thought that the person LBH was before the conference was dead TAT

and this is getting long hahaha sorry, hope some of my rambling is pleasing and answers your comment at least a bit! Thanks for asking(commenting? Talking to me?) <3