#might get hate for this but this is how I see it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

atlabeth · 3 days ago

Text

something about her

masterlist

pairing: spencer reid x fem gideon!reader

summary: you’re reminded why you’re really here while spencer does some unwanted self reflection.

a/n: things have been a little too fun and fluffy around these parts so i had to fix it. it’s easy to forget you’re still dealing w a stalker when you’re busy living in denial <3 enjoy the mess! this whole thing is in spencer's pov bc this all got soooo far away from me

title from the song by stephen sanchez

wc: 5.3k

warning(s): things start to ramp up! stalking, anxiety, lowkey panic attacks, angst, hurt/comfort, r almost has a panic attack, alcohol/mentions of alcoholism, the usual. but more bonding!!

Spencer can’t sleep.

He’s tried every trick in the book. Counting sheep, counting to one hundred, counting to one hundred backwards, going through the alphabet, going through the alphabet backwards, methods with actual scientific research backing them—none of it works. He’s stared at the ceiling for most of the night.

He feels like a hypocrite most of all, preaching the importance of adequate sleep when he’ll be lucky to get five hours. But it looks like you barely sleep as is. He probably should keep preaching to you.

There’s a myriad of reasons to explain it. His hyperactive brain has been responsible for many restless nights. He’s still in unfamiliar territory, and he hasn’t gotten used to sleeping on this bed yet. Lest he forget, he’s your first and only line of protection here from your stalker. That’s enough to keep anyone awake, even FBI.

But then there’s also… you in general.

Spencer can’t say he tries not to think about you, because this past week it’s felt like the only thing he’s thought about.

It’s practically impossible, even before you were shoved into this house together. You have a way of tunneling your way into a person’s mind and refusing to leave—especially his.

Again, it’s easy enough to pass off. You’re the only ones here, and the time you’re not spending alone you’re spending with each other. Your only choice beyond isolation is to talk to Spencer, and it seems you’re slowly moving past preferring it over him.

But he doesn’t think he can just pass this off.

He can’t get your smile out of his head. Your moments of levity are so few and far between that it makes them shine bright as the sun. Spencer has learned he loves how you look when you’re happy. He just wishes it wasn’t such a rarity.

Gideon’s lecture rings in his ears. He really had two jobs—keep you safe, and don’t fall for you. Hopefully he only fails the one.

It’s not like he has to worry about it, though. You might not hate him as much anymore, but you still don’t really like him. As much as it bums him out, it’s for the best. It means that in a week or two, when the team has caught the unsub and all this is over, you can both go your separate ways and you’ll never have to see Spencer again.

That bums him out even more, though.

He lets out a long sigh. He doesn’t know why he’s surprised. JJ, Elle, now you—Morgan would say he really knew how to pick ‘em. Girls who didn’t like him back.

Just then his phone rings, jolting him out what could have been a convincing play for sleep if not for his thoughts, and he groans a little. Spencer fumbles around for it without lifting his head from the pillow, only turning slightly so he can flick it open and place it against his ear.

“Gideon, why are you calling this early?” he mumbles.

“I hope you’re treating her well.”

The gravelly voice through the speaker is a shock, and Spencer doesn’t really process it. His brain still hasn’t turned on.

“Gideon?” he asks again.

“I know you ran away. Trying to protect her like you have any right.”

His blood goes cold as the words finally register.

This is their unsub. This— this is your stalker.

“What do you want?” he asks, unable to keep the sharp edge out of his words.

“You’ve hurt her the same way he has,” the voice continues. “He’s ruined our lives and you don’t care.”

Spencer’s mind is simultaneously blank and running wild. He knows he should try to profile him or talk to him to get something out of him but— but all he feels is anger.

“What do you want?” he repeats, louder this time.

“Think about your priorities, Agent Reid. I’ll be watching.”

The disconnected tone blares in his ear before he can say anything else, and Spencer stares down at his phone in confused annoyance.

What kind of bullshit game is this guy trying to play with you?

First he stalks you for a month—possibly months— then sends pictures of you to your door, then forces you into hiding and now he’s just mocking you like this?

If Gideon is the goal, this bastard is doing a great job of dragging you along.

Spencer’s heart jumps into his throat all of a sudden. You.

He grabs his gun off his bedside table then lunges to the door with all the athleticism of a newborn baby giraffe, nearly tripping in his haste to get out into the hallway. He slams your door open once he gets to your room, and the relief that floods through his body when you shoot up from your previously sleeping position is almost dangerous.

“Spencer?” you grumble, still completely out of it as you rub your eyes. “What the fuck are you doing?”

You’re alive. You’re okay. You’re still here.

He opens his mouth to respond, still kind of out of breath, when his phone rings again. Spencer takes it out and is already pressing it to his ear.

“What the hell do you want from her?” he barks. The absolute nerve of your stalker to call back—

“Reid, it’s me.”

It’s Gideon’s voice that comes out of the speaker this time, and Spencer feels the wave of red hot rage boiling in his stomach crash against a wall of confusion.

“I—” He swallows deeply, his eyes flicking over to your befuddled expression momentarily before he feels himself flush bright red and look away. “I’m so sorry, sir. I thought you were someone else.”

“You got a call?”

His blood runs cold. “You mean you got one too?”

Gideon curses and he hears him move around. Pacing in his bedroom, if Spencer knew anything about him. “Tell me my daughter is safe.”

“She— she is,” he stammers. “I’m with her right now.”

“Spencer, what the fuck is going on?” You’re sitting up now, much more aware than you were fifteen seconds ago. “Why do you have your gun— why are you talking to my dad?”

“Do a perimeter check,” Gideon demands. “If he’s there—”

“I know.” Spencer looks back at you and sighs. “You should talk to her.”

“I know,” Gideon echoes. “Let her stay on the line with me while you figure things out.”

He nods and takes the phone from his ear. “Gideon wants to talk with you.”

You’re standing up now, a dumbfounded expression on your face. “Hold on, you still haven’t answered me! What is going on?”

“I got a call from our guy,” he says. Your eyes widen and he can see your chest still. His heart clenches at the sight. “Gideon did too.”

“What?” you breathe. “Wh— what did he want?”

“To scare you.” Spencer holds up his gun. “Can you hide in the closet while I do a perimeter check?”

You scoff. Your demeanor is still shaken, but the fire is more prominent. He’s started to admire that about you. “Spencer, I am not hiding in the closet.”

“Then lock yourself in the bathroom again!” he exclaims. He doesn’t mean for the outburst, but he can’t help it. “Just— I can’t focus if I’m worried about you, and right now the only thing I can think of is how worried I am about you, so I need to know you’re safe while I do this.”

You stare at him, and Spencer stares right back, if a little frantic. He feels his chest rise and fall from the force, a stark contrast to your still body—similar to the panic he knows is in his eyes to the steely cool of yours.

“I’m not letting you potentially face an insane stalker by yourself,” you finally say.

Spencer huffs. “I am an FBI agent. I’ve faced worse things than insane stalkers.”

“We’ve been together this whole time,” you insist. “We— we can do this together too.”

He looks at you again—he can tell you’re not going to move on this. Spencer eventually sighs and holds the phone back up to his ear.

“I’m assuming you heard that?”

“Let her go with you,” Gideon says. “It’s riskier for her to be on her own than outside with you. But stay on the line, and stay alert. Nothing can happen to her—do you understand?”

“I won’t let anything happen to her,” he says. “I meant what I said.”

“...Good.”

Spencer holds the phone out to you again, and your lip curls.

“I’m not—”

“Come on,” he interrupts, gesturing with his head into the hallway.

Your annoyance melts into acknowledgement when you realize he’s not blowing you off again, and you nod as you take the phone. Spencer wraps both hands around his gun as he starts moving, you matching his pace as you follow him.

“Yeah, Dad,” he hears you say behind him. “I’m here.”

This is what he meant by you needing to stay behind. He’s worried about you more than anything, yes, but he also can’t help but listen. Spencer has very keen ears, to everyone’s simultaneous disdain and appreciation on the team—it makes him a very good asset in the field, but also a very good asset when it comes time for office gossip.

“No, nothing’s happened yet. Yes— yes, I’m okay, I promise. Spencer’s done an annoyingly good job of keeping me safe.”

Once Spencer reaches the door, he peers through the peephole to make sure their unsub isn’t embarrassingly obvious. It’s clear, and he turns to face you and raises a hand, then places his finger on his lips.

“Uh— I have to go dark for a sec,” you say. “We’re checking the perimeter. Don’t worry, I’ll scream if anyone tries to kill me. Be back soon.”

You pull the phone away from your ear and nod at Spencer, and he holds his breath before he opens the door.

The frigid air hits both of you at once, and he hears then sees your sharp exhale of breath. It’s been a while since either of you have been outside, but it’s good to know he hasn’t been missing superb weather.

“Stay close and stay quiet,” Spencer whispers. “I’m your only line of defense out here.”

He expects you to shoot back with some remark, but you merely nod in response. Spencer hopes he hides the shock he feels before he turns away and starts walking.

Dawn isn’t for a few more hours—the only real light source is the moon high in the night sky. It doesn't exactly help his nerves to be doing all this in the dark, but part of him is almost thankful to be doing this. Spencer doesn’t know how to deal with you or any of the emotions you stir inside of him or the sleepless nights you cause because he can’t stop thinking of you—but he knows how to do his job, and he knows how to do it damn well.

He just wishes it didn’t have to come with the unfortunate side effect of you being in immense danger.

But Spencer does his best to push those thoughts to the back of his mind—right now, he has to have one focus.

And he does. The two of you stick close to the side of the house, his eyes darting all over as he tries to dig out any details, any possible sign that the unsub was here. The ground is still a thin layer of mud from the storm last night, so it should be easy to find footprints. Spencer’s Converse aren’t doing a great job at keeping him upright—slipping in front of you is too embarrassing for him to even think about.

All of a sudden, he stops, his arm shooting out in front of you. You don’t realize it for a second and you run into him, your hand wrapping around his arm on instinct to steady yourself. If he wasn’t so shocked at what he was looking at, he would have been bright red over it.

“What the h—”

“Footprints,” he whispers. “Th— they’re almost gone, but—”

“He was here?” you interrupt. Fear spikes in your voice and your grip tightens on his arm.

“Last night, maybe.” Spencer swallows the doubt in his throat. It doesn’t matter what he thinks, how he feels—he’s not going to make you feel worse. “The rain probably washed most of them away.”

“Spencer—”

“I am surprised these are still here, though,” he continues. “The rainfall was really heavy. I wouldn’t expect them to stay in mud like this—”

“Spencer, look where we are!” you exclaim, gesturing hard with your other hand. He realizes that you’ve let go of his arm by now, but he pushes it out of his head and looks.

“The window to your room,” he says. The blinds are closed and the lock is in place—he’s made sure every night—but there are small enough gaps between the shutters.

“He was watching us last night!” Your breathing is starting to come heavier and faster now. “We talked about all that shit and he was just here watching and we didn’t even fucking know!”

You’re on the edge of hyperventilating. Spencer has got to get you down or else you’re going to have a full blown panic attack out here.

“Hey, hey— look at me.” He says your name and that, if anything else, gets you to listen and meet his eyes. They’re filled with an unbridled fear he hasn’t seen in you until now. “Don’t think about him. Don’t think about any of this. He’s not here.”

“He was watching us—”

“And we’ll figure out what to do next. But you have to stay calm. You can’t let him win.”

You’re still harried, your chest rising and falling rapidly as your eyes dart all around. Spencer says your name softly, tucks his gun into its holster, then takes your hands in his, hoping that it gives you something to focus that isn’t the rest of this.

“Just look at me,” he says softly.

You suck in another shaky breath, but you’re not as frantic as before. You at least look him in the eye, and you don’t wrench your hands out of his grasp. Progress, if nothing else.

“Breathe with me.”

You nod—still panicked, but better. Spencer breathes in deep and you do the same, following as he counts up and down with his fingers. It takes a few rounds, but eventually, he’s gotten you off the edge.

Spencer says your name again, just as soft as before. You’re still breathing slowly in and out.

“How do you feel?”

“Better,” you murmur. “I—”

You’re interrupted by the phone you both forgot was in your hand, Gideon’s voice muddled as it comes from the receiver. You rip your hands out of Spencer’s as you come back into yourself, shaking your head and blinking a few times while you take a few steps away from him.

“I’m here, Dad,” you say. “We— we’re okay. No, nothing happened.”

Spencer blinks too. He looks down at his hands, then glances at you, then shakes his head. He walks back over to the footprint and crouches down, trying to keep his mind clear. He commits every detail he can to memory, doing his best to ignore the conversation with your dad in the background.

Well, he tunes in a little. He can’t help it—he wants to make sure you’re okay.

“We found a footprint outside my room,” you’re saying. “Spencer thinks it’s your guy. I have no idea. Yes, we are. You don’t have to be so pushy.” You sigh and he feels your gaze on him. “Spencer, we have to finish this up. Dad wants us back inside.”

He clears his throat as he nods a few times. “Let me get a picture of this first.”

You hand him the phone and Spencer snaps some photos from a few different angles, hoping forensics will be able to get anything out of it. He hears Gideon’s voice again and he holds it to his ear once more.

“Gideon?”

“Reid, get her back inside,” he says. “We can’t take any unnecessary risks.”

“We haven’t finished securing the perimeter,” he says.

“Then finish it and get back inside!” he exclaims. “You have proof that he was there—”

“We don’t know it’s him,” Spencer interrupts.

“We know there was somebody there!” Gideon shoots back. “I’m not risking her, and from what I’ve heard, you don’t want to either.”

Spencer feels his cheeks warm as he looks back at you, and he pulls his gun back out of its holster. “Come on. We have to finish this up.”

“That’s what I said,” you mutter, but you follow him without further protest.

The rest of the check goes by quickly without any other distractions or surprises, and soon enough you’re back inside. While Spencer chats with Gideon, updating him in a calmer manner on everything with the phone call and the footprint, you’re ruffling through the cabinets.

Eventually, he sees you pull out a bottle of clear liquid from the corner of his eye. He frowns and realizes that it’s vodka.

“It’s 4:29 in the morning,” Spencer says, cutting off Gideon almost absentmindedly as you pop the bottle open.

“And we found out that this place isn’t nearly as safe as anyone thought,” you respond sharply. “I think that warrants some drinking.”

“That means that you should have a clear mind,” he says. “Alcohol impairs your brain’s communication pathways, as well as your judgment and coordination.”

“I’ve gotten drunk before, genius,” you mutter as you search for a glass. You end up choosing a the mug you used for coffee the other morning then start pouring. “Enough to know it’s what I need right now.”

“It can also cause mood swings,” Spencer says. “I think that’s the last thing you need right now.”

You roll your eyes, not even bothering to look back at him as you finish pouring a concerning amount of liquor into the mug.

“What is going on over there?” Gideon asks. Spencer remembers he’s holding the phone and he puts it back to his ear.

“I think your daughter is an alcoholic,” he comments.

“I’m not an alcoholic,” you say sharply. “I just can’t focus on all this right now.”

“It’s best if she gets some sleep,” Gideon says. “All of this is likely terrifying to her, no matter how hard she tries to hide it.”

Spencer’s mind flashes back to your near panic attack—your wide eyes full of fear and harried breathing that only made you hyperventilate more when you realized you couldn’t control it. It’s too easy to think of you as some untouchable being from the way you interact with him, bothered by nothing and no one.

The mask cracks on rare occasion. It makes you seem frighteningly real.

“You’re right,” Spencer nods. You sip your drink without flinching. He doesn’t think he can even call it a drink if it’s just straight liquor. “We could all use some sleep.”

“Just make sure she’s safe,” he says. “Make sure the whole place is secure. We’re not—”

“Taking risks,” he finishes. “Believe me, I know.”

Gideon is silent for a second, and Spencer takes the time to look at you. The bags under your eyes are even more prominent, and there’s a haunted glint in your eyes as you stare at the wall. You shiver ever so slightly, the outside chill still lingering on your skin. You’ve got pajama pants on but just a plain tee. You didn’t have time to put a sweatshirt on before he pulled you outside in the mania of it all.

You really are beautiful—but you’re so damn tired.

Spencer realizes that all he wants to do is give you some respite.

“I’ll call you back later, then,” Gideon says. “To check in.”

“Okay.” Spencer’s throat bobs as he averts his eyes from you. “Get some rest too, Gideon.”

The other end hangs up without a response. Spencer stares down at the phone for a few seconds then sighs before he tucks it back into his pocket.

“What’d he want?” you ask.

“I can’t believe you’re drinking vodka out of a coffee mug at four in the morning.”

You frown. “You don’t get to judge me.”

“It’s not good for you.”

“None of this is good for me,” you enunciate. “What did my dad want?”

“I’m serious,” Spencer continues. “Drinking on an empty stomach can lead to low blood sugar— drinking at this hour is going to completely disrupt your circadian rhythm.”

“You know what else has disrupted my circadian rhythm?” you ask mockingly. “Being here. Having a stalker. Finding out that said stalker was also here, watching us. I think that’s a little worse for me than the alcohol.”

Spencer stares at you, and as you’re prone to do, you stare back. Eventually, he shakes his head and looks away, deciding to quit while he’s ahead.

“He wants you to get some sleep,” he says. “Wants us both to.”

You scoff and shake your head, downing much more vodka than you should in one go. Again, you don’t flinch—for a schoolteacher, you handle your liquor very well. “Like I’d get to sleep after this.”

“It’s important,” Spencer insists. “You’ve gotten— what? Three hours of sleep?”

“Well, all this excitement has woken me up,” you say.

“Well, I’m tired,” Spencer says. “So I guess I’ll see you in a few hours.”

He starts to walk to his room, figuring that you need time to cool off, when—

“Wait.”

Your voice is oddly strangled, and Spencer stops in his tracks.

“I—” you stop and sigh, your tongue darting out to wet your lips. “I don’t want to be alone right now.”

“Our rooms are close to each other,” he says. “I’ll be able to hear if you yell.”

You rub your eyes as you let out another haggard sigh. “I can’t stand to be in that room, Spencer. Not knowing that— that he was right there.”

Spencer can’t look away from you. Your eyes glint with tears you’re trying to hold back, but you’re laid bare in a way he knows you hate.

You’re being pushed to your limits against your will, and it kills him that he can’t do anything to help you. Honestly, sometimes he feels useless being stuck here while the rest of the team is out there actively working to help you. All he can do is stand around here and annoy you.

Except you want him there. For the first time since all of this has started, you want him there.

It’s the only thing he can do for you right now. How can he refuse?

“Okay,” he says softly, and he nods. “Okay. We can share my room tonight.”

The tension in your shoulders fades ever so slightly, and you—thankfully—set the mug down. “Keep your gun close.”

“I’m not sure you want me shooting when I’m sleep deprived,” Spencer says.

Your lips twitch just so, and Spencer’s heart skips a beat. He can’t help it.

He should have known he was in too deep the moment he stepped into this house with you.

“Very cozy,” you say.

“It’s the same as your room,” Spencer responds.

You shrug. “It’s messy. Makes it feel like home.”

He feels his face flush. “I haven’t really been focused on keeping things clean.”

“Relax.” You sit down on the bed. “I’m not judging you.”

“Good.” Spencer glances at you as he moves his bag off of your side of the bed. “Because that would be very rude after the generosity I’ve shown you.”

You laugh and Spencer finds himself smiling at the sound of it. He’s glad he’s turned away, and he’s glad he manages to push it away by the time he’s turned back around.

You’re wearing a sweatshirt and sweatpants now, and it’s strange to see you look so… soft. Every part of you is so sharp, some of it jagged—sometimes you harden around him, sometimes you mellow. He’s a bit tired of the back and forth.

Maybe that’s what makes him speak up.

“I’m tired of us always being at odds.”

Your eyebrows rise and you look at him. “Really?”

Spencer nods, his will bolstered. “Really. We have a nice talk one night, and I feel like we’ve had a breakthrough, and then you go back to hating me the next morning. I’m— I’m sick of it.”

He expects you to shoot back with some mocking comment like you always do, making fun of him for wanting more than what little you give him. But instead, you lay back against the pillows and shrug.

“Okay.”

He blinks. “Really?”

“Really,” you nod. “I’m too tired to want to fight right now.”

“You’re the one that always tries to fight me.”

“Aren’t you fighting me right now?”

Spencer shakes his head. “You’re unbelievable.”

You chuckle. “Still fighting.”

He stares at you. As usual, you stare back, but this time you can’t fully bite back your smile. For some reason, that gets Spencer to break. He smiles too, and he settles down on the bed next to you. There’s a pillow buffer between you, but it’s still a lot closer than he’s used to.

Well, he did hold your hands earlier, but that’s because he was bringing you down from a panic attack. That doesn’t mean anything.

“What a day,” he mutters.

“And it hasn’t even started yet,” you muse. “I don’t know how you do this kind of shit every day.”

“I’m not really the target of any of this,” he says. “I usually stay behind the scenes. I’m good with geographical profiles, not chasing down unsubs.”

You look over at him. “You haven’t really talked about anything you do for the BAU.”

Spencer shrugs. “I thought it would be a sore subject.”

You pause. “You’re… probably right.”

“I figured.” He chuckles, then glances over at you. “But you already know enough about me. You said you would talk about your job. Teaching, and your kids, and all that.”

Your eyebrows rise. “You actually care?”

Spencer gives you a look. “I thought we were past that part in our friendship.”

“We’re not friends.”

He shrugs. “Whatever you say.”

You roll your eyes, but you go on anyway. “I’m a highschool teacher in Fairfax. You know Mount Vernon High?”

Spencer nods. “I know the name of every high school in Virginia.”

“Of course you do,” you huff. “But that’s besides the point. I did my student teacher hours there, and they offered me a full time position. I took it, so I guess I’ve been there since senior year.” You purse your lips. “It’s a little depressing when you look at it like that.”

“Then don’t look at it like that,” he say. “You said you loved your job.”

“I do!” You smile again, a bit lighter this time. “My teachers were a huge part of my life, especially in high school.” The lightness fades some, but he notices how you try to hide it. “If I could help even one kid the same way my teachers helped me, then I would have done something with my life.”

“That’s very noble of you,” Spencer says. “I don’t think I ever would have guessed you were a teacher.”

“Oh, please,” you say. “You’re a profiler. You’d figure it out.”

“You wouldn’t know I work with the FBI at first glance.”

“Well, I’m not a profiler. Besides,” you tip a shoulder, “I have the ulterior motive of wanting to introduce kids to the wonders of physics.”

Spencer’s eyes light up. “You’re a physics teacher?”

“I teach a load of science classes, but I carry the banner for AP physics.” You huff a laugh. “You’re probably the only one that doesn’t sound lame to.”

“I love physics!” he exclaims. “I’ve got a PhD in engineering, remember?”

You smile— no, you actually grin at him, and he can’t believe he finally broke through the barrier with science.

“Trust me, I’d love to talk physics with you, boy genius, but—” you’re interrupted with a yawn, and Spencer resists the urge to do the same— “but I think I’m actually about to fall asleep.”

Spencer shakes his head with a small laugh. He realizes that he’s relaxed while you’ve been talking, limbs looser and fully laying back against the pillows.

“This was actually part of my master plan to get you to rest,” he says. “Talking science always works with the team.”

He sees you smile out of his peripherals as you lay fully down, can feel every shift of your body against the mattress while you try to find a good position.

“It wasn’t you,” you say. “It was the vodka.”

“Of course,” he agrees.

Silence falls over the room as the two of you settle in. You take off your sweatshirt, a slight shiver running through you once you’re back in your tank top. Spencer removes his glasses, and he blinks a few times to adjust to the blurriness.

The bed is big enough for you to both have your own space,, and you’re both careful to keep your backs to each other. The silence is comfortable despite the previous animosity. Maybe all it really did take was for him to start talking science.

Eventually, though—

“Thank you, Spencer.” Your voice is little more than a whisper, but it cuts through the silence like a knife. “I— I know you don’t like me. So it means a lot that you still do all this for me.”

He’s quiet for a moment, taking your words in. The mingled sounds of your breathing are really the only things filling the room, and he can feel your weight against the mattress. It’s all oddly intimate.

“You’re wrong.” He’s almost surprised at the sound of his own voice. “I do like you.”

Your shock shows through the silence. Spencer takes his chance.

“You’re going through something no one should ever have to experience, and you’re doing it with someone you think stole your life from you.” Spencer shifts ever so slightly. His hands feel inexplicably clammy. “It was unfair of me to take Gideon’s side so often.”

“Still.” Your words are muffled as you speak half into the mattress. “We have more important things to worry about. It was unfair of me to spend so much time giving you shit. You— you didn’t even know I existed until a month ago.”

“But now I do.” He pauses. “And I’m glad I do. So you can start looking forward instead of always looking back.”

Again, silence. It lasts so long Spencer wonders if you’ve fallen asleep. Your breathing is thankfully steady (a side of him is always focused on your breathing just to make sure) and you don’t shift much, so he wouldn’t be surprised. You were exhausted—

“Spencer?”

His eyes open. He didn’t even realize they had closed. You sound half-asleep, your voice nothing more than a whisper. He wishes more than anything he knew what was going through your mind right now.

“Yeah?”

“I’m glad you’re here.”

His heart stutters so blatantly he’s sure you can hear it. Spencer honestly doesn’t know what to say—his mouth is so dry he doesn’t know if he can say anything.

Spencer thought you hated him. You thought Spencer hated you.

It’s ironic.

“Me too,” he eventually manages.

But there’s no response. You must’ve already fallen asleep again, just conscious enough to say a few words. The rude awakening mixed with the fear and alcohol couldn’t have done you much good.

Spencer swallows the doubt in his throat and closes his eyes again, trying not to focus on you. It’s practically impossible.

He’s glad, at least, that you’re able to sleep. You deserve to rest more than anyone.

Eventually, the sound of your breathing lulls Spencer to sleep.

You were the one thing he didn’t have on his list.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fanfiction #gideon!reader #spencer reid angst #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds angst #x reader #sadie writes

278 notes · View notes

straylightdream · 3 days ago

Text

sweet monday afternoons

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: yoon jeonghan x afb.reader

Being with him was easy, and sharing a love of food and baking was the perfect match.

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞(𝐬): friends to lovers, coworkers to lovers, romance, fluff, smut

𝐚𝐮(𝐬): nonidol, linecook! jeonghan, waitress/baker!reader

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 9.1k

𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: cussing, angst kinda?, the mc has a hard time communicating sometimes

𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: unprotected sex, cumplay, creampie, soft dom jeonghan, big dick jeonghan, pussy stretching, size kink, praise kink, the reader has bigger boobs and jeonghan is obsessed, breeding kink, dirty talk, hand job, fingering, oral (both rec), anal play, use of a buttplug, cockwarming, spanking, nicknames: bunny, pretty, pretty girl, baby, sweet cheeks, princess good girl (hers) baby, hannie (his)

𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: 18+ nsfw

𝐚𝐧: happy early valentines everyone. Thank you so much @gyuhao5 for beta reading for me.

🎧: intentions - starfall | soft spot - keshi | casual - chappell roan | talk to me - starfall

𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬.

Growing up you used to spend hours in the kitchen with your grandmother baking. Some of your fondest memories were spent in her kitchen. You always had this dream of going to culinary school to learn more about the art of baking. Your little dream came crashing down when you truly realized how expensive it was going to be. There was no way your parents could afford to send you to culinary school. Especially after your father lost his job.

Your father being laid off drastically changed your life. What started as day trips to see your grandmother soon changed when you and your parents had to move back in with her.

At the age of seventeen you got a job juggling school and working as much as physically possible. At the age of nineteen you saved up enough to move in with your best friend Soonyoung.

Even though culinary school wasn’t in your cards that didn’t detour your love of all things food and baking. Since moving out you have juggled working in the food industry in one way or another. You’ve been a barista, you have been a host and now your two most recent jobs consist of being a waitress at a restaurant called Sucré and on Sundays working at a little local bakery helping out the owner in the early hours of the morning making all her baked goods for the day.

Friday nights at the restaurant are always hell. It tends to be nonstop and the only good part about it is the money you make. It’s break time and sitting in the back alley Soonyoung is laying on the sidewalk complaining about two different tables in his section.

“Do you think if I just left Seungcheol would notice?” Soonyoung groans.

“I’m pretty sure our boss would notice.” Your roommate is always being dramatic in one way or another.

The back door opens and Jeonghan, one of the line cooks walks out. You’ve been working with him for over a year and you wish you could say your crush on him has gone away but it truly hasn’t. In the more recent months you’ve actually become friends with him.

“I hate Fridays.” He groans sitting on the curb next to you. He bumps your knee with his. Over the last two months Jeonghan and you have been flirting quite a bit.

“Don’t we all?” Soonyoung wines.

“How much longer until this night is over?” If you have to deal with one more bitchy customer you might scream.

“Probably three hours,” Jeonghan sighs looking at you.

Glancing at his watch, Soonyoung sits up. “I don’t wanna go back.” Standing up he holds his hand out for you, helping you stand up.

“Joshua and I were talking about going to Wonwoo’s bar he works at after work to get some beers. Would you like to join?” You’ve hung out with Jeonghan after work before with some friends.

“I feel like I need to get drunk after this shift,” Soonyoung chimes in.

“That will take all of one and a half beers to get you there.” Your best friend is the textbook definition of a light weight.

“Is that a yes?” Jeonghan asked.

“Yeah I’m down.” You don’t want to miss an opportunity to hang out with Jeonghan.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Sometimes the best time to go to the bar at midnight is after working a shitty shift at a fancy restaurant. 42nds is a bar that Wonwoo a mutual friend with a lot of the boys works at as a bartender. The drinks are cheap here and everyone always has a great time.

The moment you arrive at the bar Soonyoung ordered himself a beer, and sets his sight on a pretty girl playing pool. Joshua follows him noticing she has a friend with her.

Standing at the bar with Jeonghan you each order a beer. “Shitty night at work?” Wonwoo asked as he cleans some glasses.

“That’s an understatement,” Jeonghan sighs.

“You know this is why I told Seungcheol I didn’t want to work there.” Seungcheol has been trying to get Wonwoo to bartend at Sucré for months.

“You make good money here right?” Jeonghan and Wonwoo have been friends for years as they went to college together.

“Yeah the money is good. I feel like I would probably make more where you guys are, but then again I couldn’t do freelance photography if I worked there.” Wonwoo says.

Before Jeonghan can respond, Wonwoo gets waved down by his manager.

Jeonghan leans again at the bar and takes a drink of his beer. “Can I ask you a question?” Jeonghan asked.

“Sure.”

“Are you and Soonyoung together?” He asked so casually before taking a sip of his beer.

Trying your hardest not to let out a laugh you glance over at your roommate who is in the middle of flirting with a girl over at the pool table. “No we’re not together.”

“Okay I just wanted to know.”

Taking a sip of your beer you raise your eyebrow at him. “Why do you ask?”

A smile plays across his lips, “Well I wanted to make sure you weren’t together before I asked if you wanted to come over to my place tonight?” The room suddenly seems like it’s spinning at the mention of Jeonghan wanting you to come over.

“Like to have sex?” The moment the words leave your mouth you instantly feel embarrassed. Clearly that’s what he wants and you aren’t sure why you’re being so awkward.

“If you don’t want to, it's totally cool. I just thought I would shoot my shot.” You've seen Jeonghan flirt with other people before and you’ve seen him pull his fair share of women. You never thought he had any interest in you.

“I didn’t know you liked me like that.”

“I would have made a move earlier, but I thought Soonyoung was your boyfriend.” Leave it to Soonyoung to cock block you without even trying.

“Definitely not my boyfriend.” In all the years you’ve known Soonyoung you’ve never even had a crush on him. He’s always just been your best friend.

“Well if you’re still interested at the end of the night maybe you could come over to my apartment.”

“Okay.”

The rest of your time is spent hanging out at the pool table. Soonyoung and Joshua are each flirting with a girl and Jeonghan is whooping everyone's ass at pool. When it’s your turn Jeonghan stands next to you coaching you. There is something so sexy about how confident he is at this. If you weren’t already looking forward to going home with him you definitely are now.

Bending over the table, Jeonghan's hand is on your lower back. “You’re doing so good,” he says loud enough for only you to hear.

“You’re very charming Yoon Jeonghan.”

“Only when there is a pretty girl involved.”

As the night comes to a close Jeonghan is at the bar talking to Wonwoo right as you get up.

“Maybe we should call a cab instead of walking the short distance home,” your roommate says.

“Soonyoung I’m going to go to Jeonghan’s house.” Your voice is low, barely above a whisper.

Soonyoung’s eyes go wide as he processes what you just said. “Are you going to fuck Jeonghan?”

“Soonyoung!”

“Oh my god, well have fun getting laid,” he pats you on the back giving you a huge smile. He takes off running towards Joshua asking him to share a cab.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Walking into Jeonghan's small apartment you glance around as he locks the door. It’s an open concept with a kitchen in the corner and three doors in a small hallway.

“Do you have a roommate?”

“No, I live alone. It’s a little one-bedroom.” Stepping out of your shoes, you stare at Jeonghan for a moment. Placing his hand under your chin he tilts your head up. “You’re so pretty,” slowly he leans towards you. His nose is presses up against yours and your lips are almost touching.

“Can I kiss you?”

“I thought you asked me to come over to have sex? Wouldn’t that involve kissing?”

A smile tugs at his lips, “So you want to have sex with me?”

“Yoon Jeonghan I want you to fuck me.”

Without another word he crashes his lips into yours. Your first kiss is everything you had hoped it was going to be. Your stomach feels like it’s filled with butterflies as your lips move together. Pulling back from you his hair falls into his face. Without even thinking you reach up brushing it away.

“Since the moment I started working at Sucré I have wanted to get to know you.” His voice is low.

“Why is that?” Your hand rests on his cheek guiding his face closer to yours again.

“You’re beautiful and there is something about you I’m drawn to.”

“Well I’m all yours.” You step back from him. “You know I have seen you flirt with women at bars and I have always wondered what this would be like.”

He pulls off his white shirt leaving him in his black work pants. Tossing the shirt on the floor he walks closer to you again. “You know I thought you and Soonyoung were either dating or hooking up. I can’t lie, I have been jealous of him for months.”

“I’m not interested in Soonyoung. I’m only interested in you.” You reach out, poking his chest.

“I think it’s time to start losing some clothes.”

Slowly you pull off your shirt. Jeonghan unbuckles his belt and unbuttoned his pants. He’s left standing there in his tight boxer-briefs. His body is absolutely mouth watering. Reaching for the button on your jeans you can even unbutton them before Jeonghan grabs yours, stopping you. “Let me.”

He dropped down to his knees in front of you. This is a sight you never thought you would see. Unbuttoning your jeans, sliding them down your thighs. Stepping out of your jeans you look down to see Jeonghan staring up at you with lust filled eyes.

“Can you take your bra off for me?” He’s sitting back on his hunches. He reaches behind your unclasp your bra. Your heavy breasts are on display. You want to reach up and cover your chest, but you know you shouldn’t.

“It takes everything in me not to stare at your boobs all the time.” He captures his bottom lip between his teeth. Hooking his fingers into your thong he slides them down your legs.

Standing in front of him completely bare he’s staring at you like you’re the only person in the world. You wish you would have known this was going to happen. You would have shaved and worn cute matching lingerie. “I didn’t plan for this to happen. I’m not really prepared.”

Leaning forward he presses a kiss to the top of your pussy.

“I think you look perfect.”

“I would have shaved or something,” you ramble a little feeling embarrassed.

“Guys don’t actually care about that. No matter how you look. I’m going to like you.” If you weren’t wet before you definitely are now.

His hand gently rub your thigh with one hand while the other starts rubbing your wet core. His fingers ran up and down your wet slit.

“You’re already so wet.” He smiles up at you. “Is this all because of me?”

Silently, you nod.

“Can you turn around and hold on to the couch for me?”

“Yes.”

Bent over the back of the couch you’re caught off guard when he knocks your legs further apart. His lips leave a trail from between your shoulder blades down to your wet core. He stopped biting to leave love bites on the flesh of your butt cheeks.

“I hope this isn’t a one time thing. I have been dying to get you like this for a long time.”

Dropping to his knees behind you, his face is level with your wet pussy. His fingers part your lower lips slowly and he starts licking your sensitive clit. One of his long fingers slowly starts thrusting into you. “You’re so tight,” he moans against your pussy. Your fingers grip the couch cushion below you at the feeling as he adds another finger. “I need to stretch you out for me.” Hooking his fingers he’s brushing the perfect spot inside of you that has you seeing stars. The way he’s sucking on your clit and thrusting his fingers in and out if you can’t help but moan his name.

“Fuck-“ your legs feel like they’re about to buckle.

“Come on pretty girl. Are you going to come on my face?”

“Please- close-“ you can’t help but whimper. Incoherent words seem to leave your mouth.

“Can you take another finger?”

“Yes-“ The moment he stretches you open with a third finger you moan his name loudly. Your orgasm hits you like a ton of bricks. Your head falls forward resting on the couch cushion. Jeonghan slowly licks your clit as you ride out your high.

Pulling away from you he gives your ass an unexpected smack earning a moan from you. “Fuck you’re good at that.” You slowly pushed yourself up. Turning around you lean back against the couch. Your eyes are locked on his as his thumb wipes away your release from his bottom lip. Taking his thumb into mouth he sucks your release off his skin.

“You taste so sweet.”

“Let’s move to the bedroom,” he reaches his hand out. He leads you off to his bedroom. “Can you lay on the bed?” He asked releasing your hand.

“Yes.”

“I have a few questions before we continue.” Walking over you lay down in the middle of the bed. He stands at the top of the bed. “Are you on birth control?” He catches you off guard when he removes his boxers and you’re greeted by the sight of his very large cock. This was definitely the largest you’ve ever seen in person. You’re speechless at the sight of him.

“Hey pretty girl can you answer me?”

Blinking a few times you glance up at him feeling embarrassed he literally left you speechless at the sight of his naked body. “I have an IUD.”

“Do you want me to wear a condom?” He pushes his finger through his dark hair. Walking over to the nightstand he pulls out a bottle of lube and tossed it on the bed next to you.

“I’ve never had sex without one.” None of your past partners have asked you to go bare. The idea of him taking you raw with his huge cock makes you wet all over again.

“I don’t mind wearing a condom. It’s fully up to you. I’m clean. I got tested two months ago and haven’t slept with anyone since. I’m giving you the option if you want me to go raw.”

“You don’t have to wear a condom.” There is something thrilling about the idea of him not wearing anything as he enters you.

He puts his knee on the bed and moves towards you. Sitting back on his hunches between your legs. “My final question,” he gently parts your thighs.

“Yes?”

“Where do you want me to come?”

“Am I allowed to ask you to finish inside me?” You can’t get the thought of him filling you to the brim out of your mind.

“Absolutely.”

“Please come inside.” You’ve read countless romance novels about men with breeding kinks who are obsessed with finishing inside someone and you’re curious what Jeonghan is like when it comes to finishing inside you. “Do you have a breeding kink or do you just like creampies?” It’s a bold question but you are genuinely curious.

Sitting on his hunches between your legs. Reaching over he clicks open the bottle of lube coating his large cock with a generous amount of it. He runs his length through your folds collecting your release. His lust blown eyes are locked on you. “Are you going to be turned off if I have breeding kink?” He taps his rose colored head against your clit. A loud moan passes your lips. He pours more lube in your wet core and takes his time massaging your lower lips and your entrance to wet core with it.

“No, I think I want you to have one.”

“Do you want me to talk dirty to you while I fill you to the brim for the first time ever with my cum?”

You take a shaky deep breath, “please.”

Slowly he pushes into you inch by inch. Giving you time to adjust to the sheer size of him. “Anything for you princess.”

“Fuck you’re big-“ you moan closing your eyes. It’s gonna take a little bit to get used to the feeling of him stretching you.

“You’re doing so good,” he stills completely as he bottoms out. His hand rubs your side helping to relax you. Your eyes are locked on his as you take slow deep breaths trying to relax. He presses a gentle kiss to your knee. “If you need to stop. We don’t have to continue.”

“I want you to fuck me. I just need a moment. You’re just- you’re just fucking big.” He has you stuttering over your words.

A smile tugs at his lips. “You sure know how to stroke a guys ego.”

Rolling your eyes, “I can’t be the only one who has told you your dick is huge.”

“I’ve heard it before, but it’s nice hearing you say it.”

Pushing yourself up on your hands you look down at where you’re connected. The sight of him stretching your tight pussy turns you on even more.

“You can move. Could you go slow?”

“Absolutely.” He leans forward pressing his lips to yours. “Next time I’m going to have you ride me so I can suck on your nipples and play with your huge boobs.”

“Are you a boob guy Jeonghan?”

“I’m obsessed with your boobs.”

“Does that mean yes?”

“You’re finding out about all my kinks tonight.” He pulls his hips back, removing himself almost fully from you. “Now lay down baby.” Silently you follow his command.

His hips roll into yours at a steady but slow pace. He stays in the same position sitting on his calves. After a few minutes he hooks one of your legs over his arm for a better position. The room is filled with the echoing sounds of moans, heavy breathing and wet sounds from a mix of your release and lube.

“Can you touch my clit?” It's rare you can come without clit stimulation. He groans as his hand moves to your core. His thumb makes rough circles on your clit. “Jeong-“ your body feels tense as you get closer and closer to the edge.

“Can you cum for me?” He drops your leg that he’s holding. His thumb continues to work on your clit. Reaching forward he takes your breast in his hand. Pinching your nipple.

“Oh god-“ you cry as you cum. Your walls spasm around his huge length. “Please cum inside me-“ you beg.

“I’m gonna fill you up,” he snaps his hips into yours at a quicker pace. His hips stutter as he paints your wall white. He moans your name like a prayer. Leaning forward he basically collapsed on your soft body.

Closing your eyes you slowly come down from your high. Gently your hand strokes his back as his breathing is heavy.

“Fuck-“ he groans. “I don’t think I have ever cummed that hard in my life.”

“You almost made me cry, I came so hard.”

He leaves a trail of wet kisses across the top of your breast.

“I might truly be obsessed with your boobs,” he laughs, slowly rolling off you.

“You can play with them anytime you want.”

A smile is plastered across his lips. “Don’t threaten me with a good time.”

Crawling out of bed he runs off to the bathroom and comes back with a wet washcloth to wipe away his cum that is slowly dripping out of you.

Laying in his bed staring at the ceiling, Jeonghan is playing with your hair. Things feel so comfortable between you. This doesn’t feel like a random hook up.

“Are you able to get breakfast together Sunday?”

Glancing up at him he looks so gentle. “I can't, I have to work at the bakery. I’m there from five in the morning to noon.”

“You work at a bakery?”

“Yeah I work a little bakery called Sweet Kisses. I just work there on Sunday mornings helping bake.”

“I didn’t know you bake.”

“I don’t get to do it very often so not a lot of people know.” Looking over at him you smile.

“I make a mean chocolate chip cookie.” He says staring at the ceiling with a gentle smile on his lips.

“Will you make them for me one day?”

“Absolutely.”

There’s a moment of silence before it clicks what he asked. “Did you just ask if I wanted to go on a date?”

A smile spread across his lips. “I was trying to.”

“I can’t get breakfast Sunday but I’m free the rest of the day.”

“Won’t you be tired?” He bops your nose earning a smile from you.

“I can drink some coffee and it will be worth being tired if I get to go out with you.”

“Can I pick you up from work Sunday from the bakery?” Looking up at him you lean up and press your lips to his.

“Absolutely.”

“Should I head home now?” You haven’t had casual sex in a while and you weren’t sure if he wanted you to stay or go.

“Why would you leave?”

Looking away from him you feel embarrassed. “Maybe you wanted to get some sleep and not worry about me.”

“I absolutely don’t want you to leave. I was hoping we could cuddle, and maybe have some cuddly morning sex, before I take you home. Since we both have work tomorrow.” He glanced over at his alarm clock to see its two in morning. “I guess technically we work tonight.” Your body feels warm at his sweet statement.

“I like your idea.”

He leans down pressing his lips to your. Smiling he pulls back from you. “I’m so glad I made a move on you finally.”

Walking into your apartment you find Soonyoung sitting on the couch watching tv. The moment he sees you a huge smile plays across his face.

“Well well well look who is home from her little sex romp.”

A heavy sigh passes your lips as you roll your eyes. “Soonyoung-“

“Was the sex good?” Soonyoung stands up. Your best friend loves gossiping and he absolutely wants to hear all the details about your night with Jeonghan.

“Soonyoung-“

“Listen, my best friend finally got laid by her crush. You can’t blame me for wanting to know the dirty details about how Jeonghan is in bed.”

Rolling your eyes you know he’s not going to let up, “let’s just say he’s so big I’m shocked I’m walking.”

Soonyoung’s eyes about bulge out of his head. “Jeonghan is packing?” He practically yells.

“That’s all the details you’re getting.”

“Oh my god,” Soonyoung follows you down the hall towards your bedroom. “I would have never guessed he has a huge dick.”

Not even bothering to respond anymore, you shut your bedroom door practically in Soonyoung's face. “Hey,” he yells knocking on the door.

Ignoring him about picking up your room before you need to get ready for your shift tonight.

Getting dressed in your work clothes you go to where you have a small washer and drying area. Looking for your apron you spot Soonyoung’s work shirt.

“Are you really not going to give me the dirty details about how your dick appointment went?” He stands in the doorway watching.

“Stop asking me about Jeonghan’s huge cock, and start getting ready for work,” you toss his dress shirt at him. Now that your roommate knows about what unfolded between you and Jeonghan, there is no way he’s not going to tease you about it all the time.“We need to leave for work in thirty minutes.”

“Fine, have it your way, we won't talk about Jeonghan and his huge dick.” Soonyoung pouts.

Sundays are always rough for you. Saturday nights you always work until nine at night and then Sunday mornings you have to wake up at four in the morning for your shift at the bakery.

The sometimes exhausting Sundays are worth it. Especially when you absolutely love getting to spend the day baking. Juliette, the owner of the bakery loves letting you try our new recipes and fun new baked goods.

Walking out of the bakery you find Jeonghan leaning against the hood of his car holding a cup of coffee. You’ve been awake for hours and you’re quite tired but you don’t even care. You’re just excited to spend the day with Jeonghan.

“I have come bearing gifts,” he smiles, holding out an iced americano. “I asked Soonyoung what your coffee order is.”

“I see you enlisted the help of my best friend,” you smile while taking the coffee.

“What do you have planned for us?”

“I was thinking there is a museum in town I have been wanting to go to.”

“I would love to go to a museum.”

The drive from the bakery to the museum is about thirty minutes. The car ride is filled with small talk and Jeonghan singing along to the radio. Things between you feel natural.

Once arriving at the museum you instantly notice how happy he is. You quickly learn that he absolutely loves art.

Hand in hand Jeonghan led you through the museum. Occasionally releasing your hand to take photos of you and the art work. He takes you all around showing you all this favorite artist. You even snap a few candid photos of him. He doesn’t know it yet but you already like him so much.

Sitting in the garden section of the museum. You are surrounded by a sea of beautiful roses. Jeonghan is off to a little cafe grabbing something to eat.

Looking through your text you see a message from Soonyoung.

From Soonyoung: how is your date with massive dick Jeonghan?

From you: can we please not talk about his dick all the time?

From Soonyoung: where is the fun in that?

From you: The date is going a amazing.

From Soonyoung: this man really likes you. He literally asked me about your favorite foods and drinks. He basically had me give him a pop quiz on all things you.

From you: that’s good because I really like him.

From Soonyoung: is it safe to say you’re not coming home? Something tells me his massive dick is going to take you for a ride tonight.

From you: IDK?! Gotta go he’s coming back.

Jeonghan comes back over with a tray of food and drinks. Quickly you close your phone and put it back in your purse.

“I got us a few things to split.” He says sitting across from you. He got a delicious looking sandwich and a couple of pastries.

Sitting there splitting amazing pastries you can’t help but feel happy. “I like you Jeonghan.”

“I like you too, bunny.” His little nickname catches your attention. No one has ever called you that.

“Bunny?”

“You’re very cute like a bunny. So you’re my bunny.”

“I like that nickname.”

Leaning across the table he pushed your hair behind your ear. Leaning in closer to him you want to kiss him. His nose brushes against yours. “I want to keep seeing you like this.” Your lips touch for a searing kiss.

With your lips still brushing, “can you stay night with me again?”

“I would like that.”

“We’re both off tomorrow and if you’re free maybe we could just spend the day baking and hanging out.”

“I would really like that.”

Spending time with Jeonghan is easy. There is something about him you just click with immediately.

This time when you find yourself lying in Jeonghan’s bed he has you on your side. Your leg is lifted resting on his thigh. He’s pressed up behind you pushing into you at a slow but steady pace. One grips your heavy breast. Toying with your nipple between his fingers.

“You feel so deep,” you moan.

“Can you play with your clit for me?”

Breathlessly you nod. Your fingers move down to where you’re connected. Your clit is extra sensitive from the attention Jeonghan gave it when you arrived back at his place. He spent twenty long minutes eating you out. With ease he was able to get two orgasms out of you.

“Fuck this feels so good,” the sounds of his low raspy voice is intoxicating. “Do you like it when I go nice and slow?”

“Yes,” you’re trying your hardest not to sound desperate.

This felt so different then your first time together, this feels so much more intense.

Your orgasm hits you so hard you see stars. Your body feels like a live wire. He keeps his same slow deep pace helping you ride your high out.

His lips are attached to your shoulder leaving a trail of open mouth kisses in his wake.

Falling apart he moans your name. His last few thrusts are sloppy. There is a warm feeling washing over you. He paints your walls white with his sticky release.

Every so slowly he pulls out. Rolling onto your back you take slow deep breaths recovering from your intense orgasm.

Crawling out of bed he disappears for a moment before he returns with a warm cloth in hand. “Spread your legs for me bunny.”

Silently you follow his command. Gently he wipes away his release that is starting to drip out of you.

“You are so beautiful,” he pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your knee.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Ever since your first night when you slept together two months ago Jeonghan has become a fixture in your life. You aren’t exactly sure what you are. Neither of you have discussed labels or exclusivity, but you aren’t interested in anyone other than him. The way he talks about whatever relationship you have he doesn’t make it sound like he’s sleeping with anyone else.

Sundays and Mondays are your favorite days now. Both of you are off from work so you tend to spend the night at Jeonghan’s on Sunday night and Monday you will spend the day together. Most Monday’s you spend the afternoon in the kitchen together.

Being with Jeonghan he’s really helped you embrace your love of baking. You’ve been able to see his love of food along the way.

Today's recipe is something you have never tried before. You saw an Instagram post about a miso brown sugar cookie and now you can’t stop thinking about it.

While you’re mixing together your dry ingredients Jeonghan is at the stove cooking something for you both to eat for lunch. He’s dressed in a pair of grey sweats that set low on his hips and nothing else. You’re dressed in an oversized shirt and a pair of tiny sleep shorts. Most Mondays you spend just in his apartment and you rarely change out of your pajamas. Whatever Jeonghan is cooking smells delicious.

Slowly you pour your wet ingredients into the bowl with your dry ingredients mixing them together.

“Hannie, can you preheat the oven please?”

“Ay at captain.” He steps back from the stove and turns on the oven.

While Jeonghan finishes making lunch you place all your cookie dough on the tray before placing it in the oven. Sitting at the kitchen table your eating the delicious soup that Jeonghan has made.

“You always look so happy when you’re baking,” he says.

“As a kid I always loved baking with my grandma. It just always puts me at ease.”

The timer goes off signaling your cookies are done. Hopping up you grab an oven mitt and pull out your golden cookies. Placing them on the cooling rack, you admire your work. Jeonghan comes up behind you. One hand rest on your hip while the other reaches out grabbing one of your fresh hot cookies.

He blows on the cookie before taking a bite. He moans the moment the cookie touches his tongue. “Bunny these taste amazing.”

“Are you just saying that?” You glance up at him.

“Absolutely not. These taste incredible. I will never lie to you when it comes to tasting what you make.”

“I feel like I should save some of these for Soonyoung. He used to get all my bake good before we started seeing each other.”

He places a kiss on your cheek before walking over to the table. “I like to think this is perk of being the one who has you coming so hard you almost cry.”

Rolling your eyes you shake your head. Sitting back down across from him.

“What’s the plan for today?” You asked.

“I was going to try and make this new dish for dinner. So maybe after a little while we can run to the grocery story.”

Days like these are your favorite. You don’t have anything lavish planned, you just spend the day enjoying each other's company. Walking around the grocery store Jeonghan pushes a little cart as you walk next to him. You love seeing the way he lights up when he sees new ingredients he’s been wanting to cook with.

“What’s your opinion on pineapple upside cookies?” You’re looking out the crate of fresh pineapples in the produce section.

“Like the cake?”

“Yes.”

“I’ve never had them in the form of a cookie.” Without saying anything you hand him a decent size pineapple you picked out. “Is this your way of trying to get my cum to taste sweet?” He laughs at his own immature statement.

“Are you a teenager now?”

“You can’t tell me you haven’t heard that myth before?”

“I have, and unless you behave I’m never tasting your cum ever again.”

His eyes go wide at your quick response. “You wouldn’t.”

“Don’t push me.” You laugh.

Walking for the street he holds the bag of groceries in one hand and your hand in the other. Things are so easy with Jeonghan and it makes you so happy. You haven’t been this happy with a man ever before.

Entering Jeonghan’s apartment you put away the groceries together. Sitting at the kitchen table looking up new recipes you want to try while Jeonghan is preparing things for dinner.

Standing up you walk over and wrap your arms around him hugging him from behind him.

“Yes bunny?”

“I just want to be close to you.” You love being able to hold him and cling to him.

He removes your hands and turns around so he’s facing you. Pinching your chin he tilts your head up towards him. Slowly he leans down pressing his lips to yours for a searing kiss. “Is my girl needy?”

“I’m always needy for you.”

“Are you hungry?” You know he’s asking if you’re literally hungry since he’s prepping dinner. But you can only think about him.

“I’m hungry for you.”

“You naughty girl.”

“I want you.”

“Go to my room, I'll be there in a minute.” Pulling away he smacks your ass before you can get two steps away from him.

Walking off to his room instead of waiting for him to undress you, you strip naked. Standing the foot of his bed you wait for him.

Opening the door he’s pleasantly surprised at the sight of you fully naked.

“Hands and knees bunny,” he taps your ass walking past you. “How do you feel about putting a little plug in this cute little ass of yours?” Without thinking you moan in response. Reaching into his nightstand he pulls out a small bottle of lube and the small rose gold plug he bought for you last month. This is the first time you’ve worn a plug while he fucked you. He asked you about ass play about two weeks into sleeping together. He’s had you wear one while he eats out or fingers you. You had never tried anything like this but you were intrigued.

When he ended up buying a cute rose gold plug you couldn’t help but be excited. Getting on to the bed presenting yourself to him he grips your fleshy cheek, massaging it as he kisses the other one. His long fingers slide through your slit brushing against your clit.

Clicking the bottle of lube open he dollops amount onto your tight ring of muscle.

“Are you going to be a good girl for me?” His finger spreads around the cold lube.

“Yes,” you sigh.

His finger slides into your ass slowly. “Do you think you can wear you cute little plug while I fuck you?”

“Yes,” you mewl as another finger slides into you.

“Maybe one day we can train you to take all of me in your ass,” he squeezes the flesh of your ass cheek.

“Too big-“

“You’re right, pretty girl. I think I’m too big for this tight little hole.”

Removing his fingers from your ass he reached for the plug on the bed next to him. He generously coats in lube before pressing it to your ass. Ever so slowly he pushes it in. A loud moan pssses your lips once it’s fully inside. His thumb adds a little pressure to it causing your eyes to roll back.

“Baby scoot forward. I’m going to eat you out and prep you.”

The feeling of Jeonghan’s mouth on your core has your eyes rolling back in your head. Hands grip the sheets below. His tongue keeps dipping into your entrance earning a moan. His thumb keeps applying pressure to the plug giving you a whole new feeling.

Before Jeonghan you had plenty of sexual encounters with other men, but no other man has ever tried to understand your body as well as he can. This man loves your pussy and will never miss an opportunity to have his head between your legs. He knows all the right things to do to have you crying out his name.

Fingers claw at the sheets below as he gets you closer and closer to the edge. Curving his fingers he’s brushing the special place inside you that makes you see stars.

Your face is pressed against the bed as you collapse onto your elbows. All the pressure building inside you finally brushes as you cry out his name. Pulling away from you he wipes away your release from his mouth with the back of your hand. A cocky grin is plastered across his lips as he watches you absolutely fascinated by your fucked out expression.

“I don’t think you have ever came that hard.”

“I felt like I was going to black out,” you pant.

“Do you need a break or can you take me?” He crawls off the bed.

“Please fuck me,” you all but beg.

Closing your eyes you take a moment to calm down. You can hear the sounds of him removing his clothes. The sound of his belt hitting the floor lets you know he’s naked. The bed behind you dips. Seconds later his hands are rubbing your side. “You’re always so good for me.”

Slowly pushing yourself up onto your hands, you look over your shoulder at him. He looks lost in a haze of lust. Taking his length into his hand he slowly runs it through your wet folds. Tapping it against your sensitive clit he earns a moan from you.

“Are you ready?”

“Yes-“ you moan.

Pushing into you his hand grips your hips pulling you flush against him. The feeling of him stretching you out while a plug is snug in your ass is intoxicating. You haven’t ever felt this full before. Closing your eyes taking in the feeling of giving yourself a moment to adjust.

He must be able to tell that you need time. His hands slowly rub your side. “Such a good girl.”

“Baby,” you moan.

“Is it too much?”

“No it feels so good-“ you feel as if you’re stumbling over your words. “Can you go slow?”

“Yeah-“ he groans. “You feel so tight.”

The full feeling is like nothing you have ever experienced before. The room is filled with sounds of skin slapping against skin, his heavy breathing, and your echoing moans.

His pace picks up, and he keeps up his deep thrust. One hand rests on the small of your back signaling for you to drop back down to your elbows.

This feels like a whole new angle. His dick curves up a little bit and with this angle he’s brushing a new spot inside of you. On top of the snug feeling of the plug inside your ass. Maybe one day you’ll let him take the time and actually try and properly fuck your ass.

“Hannie-“ you whine. Your brain feels like it’s turning to mush with each thrust.

“Baby you’re squeezing me so tight.”

You can’t imagine how tight you must feel to him right now. “Harder-“

“You want more?”

“Please.” You’re absolutely desperate to fall apart like this.

His hips snap a little harder helping you chase your release. Drool is practically falling out of your mouth against the sheets below as he fucks you basically stupid.

A ringing takes over your ears as your orgasm hits you out of nowhere. Closing your eyes you cry out his name. Moments later he slams into you three times before holding you flush against his pelvis. You feel extra full as he finishes inside you.

Ever so slowly he pulls out. His eyes are locked on your core watching his milky white release drip out of you.

“I might actually have a breeding kink when it comes to you.” His words instantly earn a smile.

“Are you that down bad for me?” He rolls his eyes. Hoping off the bed runs off to grab a cloth to clean up his mess he made of your pussy.

“Baby we should shower.”

“Can we wait like ten minutes? You fucked me so good I don’t know if my arms work.”

He laughs and crawls back on the bed as you slowly lay down flat. Your head is off to the side watching him get comfortable next to you.

“I love spending Mondays with you.” He says.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Work seems to suck less knowing at the end of the night you’ll be in bed with Jeonghan whether that means you’ll be having sex or just hanging out. The second your shift wraps up you find Jeonghan standing in the waiting area talking to Seungcheol while he waits for you.

Walking toward them you plan to keep it professional. Seungcheol is well aware you’re seeing Jeonghan but technically he’s your boss and you’re not sure if it’s frowned upon to be dating your coworker. Jeonghan grabs your hand pulling you close to him.

“Ready sweet cheeks,” your nickname causes you to instantly roll your eyes while Seungcheol barks out a laugh.

“I’m going to go on a limb and say she doesn’t like that nickname,” Seungcheol says.

“Do you not like it bunny?” He often calls you bunny and you think that nickname is cute. Sweet cheeks on the other hand can go.

“Please stick to bunny,” you lean up pressing your lips to his.

Soonyoung walks up with Joshua in tow. “Are you two down for drinks tonight?”

Putting his arm over your shoulder he pulls you closer to him. “I’m good with a couple of drinks. How about you bunny?”

“I’m good for one or two beers and then I need to go to bed.”

“Which bed are you going to? Yours that’s been empty for a week or darling Yoon Jeonghan’s?” Soonyoung loves to tease you.

“She’ll be in mine,” Jeonghan responds before you even have a chance.

“Seungcheol, are you joining us?” Joshua says walking up.

“Why not?” your boss shrugs.

Standing in the bar you watch as Seungcheol, Joshua and Jeonghan are at the bar talking to Wonwoo. You’re sitting with Soonyoung at a table sipping on your beer. “You know you seem really happy with your boyfriend.”

“He’s not my boyfriend.” You haven’t labeled this and you don’t want to go around calling him that if he doesn’t see this the same way.

“Ma’am you have been sleeping with him, going on dates and practically living at his place three days a week. If that is not your boyfriend this might be the strangest friends with benefits relationship I have ever seen.”

“I think we’re just casual.”

“Does he know that?” He arches his eyebrow.

“I’m not sure.”

“Maybe you guys should talk about that tonight. I’m your best friend and I can tell when you're head over heels for someone. And you my dear best friend, you are down bad for Yoon Jeonghan.”

After a couple beers at the bar with everyone from work you go home with Jeonghan just like he said you would. Walking into his apartment both remove your shoes before heading off to the bathroom. You brush your teeth with the toothbrush you keep here.

Glancing around the bathroom you realize how Jeonghan has truly gone out of his way to make you feel at home. He’s gotten you your same face wash you use at home and even your face cream. You snap out of your thoughts when you see Jeonghan naked standing behind you through the bathroom mirror. He smacks your ass before walking off to the shower. He starts the water and lets it heat up for a moment before sliding the door open.

“Did you wanna join me?” He asked.

“I washed my hair yesterday and I don’t wanna blow dry it tonight.”

“Come join me and I’ll try not to get your hair wet.”

Pulling off your sleep shirt you leave at his place you strip naked. Sliding the shower door open, you step towards the warm water making sure to keep your hair as dry as possible. You watch him as he washes his hair. He’s so beautiful without even trying.

Lay on his bed, his body resting between your spread legs.

“Jeonghan, can I ask you something?” He’s kissing his way across your chest.

“Yeah.” He says between kisses.

“Am I your girlfriend?”

“Do you wanna be?” He looks up.

“I see you as my boyfriend but we haven’t ever discussed that or even talked about if we’re exclusive.” This feels insane you’re discussing this three months in.

“Do you think I’m sleeping with other people?” He gives you a confused look.

“No, I hope you aren’t.”

“Bunny when we fuck I don’t wear a condom. The moment we did that we were automatically exclusives.”

“That doesn’t answer the question about what exactly we are.”

“Bunny, you're my girlfriend. Wonwoo literally calls you my girlfriend. Everyone at the restaurant refers to me as your boyfriend.” He smiles.

“That’s cool. I’m glad we figured that out.” You let out a nervous chuckle. He presses his lips to yours for a heated kiss.

“You know you could have brought this up after the museum and I would have told you I was your boyfriend right then?” He smiles.

“You mean the first time we went out?” You instantly think back to your first date together.

“Yes, our first first date.”

“You were fine with being my boyfriend then?” Based on the way you hooked up with first time you always assumed he saw that time together as something casual like a simple hook up.

“Hell the first time we had sex I would have said yes to being your boyfriend. I had a crush on you for months when I thought you were with Soonyoung.”

“I still can’t believe you thought I was with Soonyoung.”

He closed his eyes and smiled before pressing his lips to the tip of your nose. “Just be happy I was finally brave enough to ask you out.”

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

It’s been a week since Jeonghan and you finally labeled your relationship and life has been extra crazy. You’ve been at home more often than you have been at Jeonghan’s. Normally you spent Mondays together, but this week Jeonghan ended up having to cover Mingyu at work and you spent the day with your mom. She unexpectedly was in the city for the day and wanted to spend time with you.

She spent all of lunch asking you questions about your boyfriend. She made a big deal about asking if he would come with you to dinner next Sunday. You weren’t sure if you were in the next stage of your relationship when it was time to meet the parents, but you knew you should at least ask him.

On Tuesday when you finally saw him at work you decided not to bring up meeting your parents. You wanted to do this away from work.

After work Jeonghan didn’t even give you a chance to pretend you were going to go home with Soonyoung. He grabbed your hand pulling you towards his car while shouting a goodbye at your roommate.

After a long day at work Jeonghan absolutely loves showering together. Nothing sexual normally happens in the shower. He just likes being close with you there.

He’s in the middle of rinsing his hair. You’re focused on him. You need to ask him something important but you’re kind of scared for some reason.

“You can absolutely say no, but would you be interested in going to a family dinner with me?”

“You want me to meet your parents?” He raised his eyebrow stepping out from under the water.

“It would be nice, but you can absolutely say no. I understand if this is too soon.”

“We’ve been seeing each other for four months. I would like to meet your parents. I think they should meet your boyfriend.” It’s so nice to hear him refer to himself as your boyfriend.

“You're much more calm about this than I expected you to be.”

He steps towards, reaching out he pulls your wet body close to his. “This is the natural next step in a relationship. I care about you bunny, of course I should meet your parents.”

Sunday afternoon rolled around. You just finished your shift at the bakery and Jeonghan picks you up. He’s got two duffle bags in the car in case you decide to stay the night. Your parents live two hours away. The ride to your parents house you’re a little nervous but you aren’t sure why. Jeonghan is literally the perfect boyfriend. You know your family will love him. But for some reason, first meetings are always scary.

Standing in the kitchen making cookies with your grandma you look out into the window and see Jeonghan laughing about something with your father.

“Your boyfriend seems like a catch.” Your grandma has always seemed like a good judgment of character.

“I really like him.” That’s truly an understatement. You are very much head over heels for him.

“You said he’s a cook at your restaurant?”

“He’s a line cook.”

“There is something special about a couple who share a love of food. Your grandfather learned to bake for me.”

“He knew how to bake before me, but he’s really helped encourage me to bake more and to learn new recipes.”

“That right there darling makes him a keeper.” Your grandma smiles as she pats your back. “Pass me the brown sugar.”

Baking with your grandma has always made you happy. Looking out the window you find Jeonghan smiling back at you. Glancing back at your grandma you watch as she mixes together the batter.

“Gram, I love him.”

“That’s good darling, because he looks like he’s in love with you.”

Your evening with your parents and grandma is nice. When dinner time comes around you notice that instantly Jeonghan fits in with your family. Your mother already adores him and your father is making plans for the next time you come home. You couldn’t have asked for a better first meeting. On the drive up here you weren’t fully sure if you’re staying the night. Time seemed to slip away and before you knew it midnight was approaching.

“Why do you two stay the night?” Your father says walking into the kitchen where you and Jeonghan are doing the dishes.

“I don’t think you guys should drive home in the middle of the night,” your mother chimes in.

“We brought duffle bags. We can stay if you would like,” Jeonghan says.

“Let’s stay and head home in the morning.”

“At least stay for breakfast before heading home,” your mother says.

Sitting in the room you grew up in Jeonghan is searching through his duffel bag. You're perched on your full sized bed.

“Hannie?”

“Yeah bunny?” He stands up holding his pajama pants.

“Can I tell you I love you?” You thought maybe the first time you said those three big words it would be some kind of grand gesture. But maybe it doesn’t need to be, because saying it right now like this feels right.

He steps closer to you so he’s right in front of you. “Only if I can say I love you too.” He leans forward pressing his lips to yours. “Everything about being with you is easy. You were easy to fall in love with. I wanted to say it when you agreed to be my girlfriend, but I thought I should wait a minute.” A warm feeling takes over your chest. Your eyes start to brim with tears. You care so deeply for him and you have absolutely fallen head over heels in love with. Loving him was as easy as breathing.

“Being with you just feels right.” He smiles at your words. His hand rests on your cheek pushing away the salty happy tear that slides down your cheek.

“That’s good because I’m going to love you forever.” Jeonghan has proven to always be a man of his word and you know that he’s the person you’re supposed to be with.

If you have asked to be tagged I request that you please reblog. If you could leave comments and or tags that would be greatly appreciated.

#svthub #thediamondlifenetwork #mansaenetwork #seventeen smut #dreamie writes #seventeen x reader #seventeen insert reader #jeonghan smut #Jeonghan x reader #jeonghan insert reader #yoon jeonghan imagine #yoon jeonghan smut #jeonghan fanfiction #jeonghan imagine #my writing

261 notes · View notes

finchsflight · 2 days ago

Text

The most important thing, that a lot of people who want this kind of job don't get, is that you have to have an explanation.

And not some namby-pamby 'oh, you see, it was simply up my sleeve, ha ha let's all pretend this didn't happen!'. No, you need a proper, actual, well-thought-through explanation.

(At least, for the kids I show off for. If the parent didn't ever bother getting their kid into the business, or explaining tricks -- eh, you're probably fine. But if they didn't explain the tricks, well, they wouldn't need us, would they?)

The kids -- usually, at least, that I see -- want magic. But half the time they're too smart for their own good, and there's no one who'll think you're a real wizard like a little kid. They want you to be a real wizard. But you need them to think you're just really, really good.

(Y'know. On account of how we don't endanger kids. And if that's an issue for you, then I've got a big stick and you have some fun places I can shove it.)

So that's the first thing. Explanation. Every trick you've got, you better be good and prepared for them to ask you about it, in detail, at the end of the show, and if you don't have good answers, it breaks. Yeah, yeah, a magician never reveals their secrets, but little kids hate being condescended to and they'll have a great time if you show them the props and the 'real magic' behind the magic. Yes, yes, I know, it sounds stupid.

The second thing is, you're showing off, but you're not showing off. Big elemental stuff? Usually a no-no, even if you've got a good and sciency explanation. Partially because, like... if you're doing a science show, you don't need a wand. You can just go buy some liquid nitrogen. World's neat enough as is. And partially because -- look, you're a delight. But listen. You are never as good at lying to small children as you think you are, okay?

If you're gonna need an explanation, well, that means you need explainable stuff. Me, I like kinda theming things off human magicians -- you know, cards, ribbons, vanishing boxes, sleight-of-hand style stuff. A few flashy lights. That sorta thing. They love seeing a card trick that's just impossible enough to be amazing and just possible enough to be explained.

Works to add some things they can actually recognize, too; then they get a little moment where they get to feel like they've got one over on you.

And that leads pretty well to my last one.

Eventually, a kid's gonna ask you how you did something, and you're gonna give your made-up bullshit explanation that you will have gotten really good at delivering, and then either they're gonna say "That's not possible," or they're gonna ask you if you can teach them.

And you're gonna not be able to dismiss it, or you're not gonna be able to say 'sorry, I need to go', and there's gonna be a little kid who figures out that you're a wizard.

Remember what I said? How we don't endanger kids?

This is the part where that gets important.

Feel free to remember them, bookmark their name for when they grow up 'cause you think they might be a good apprentice, whatever. But you do not recruit kids.

And you already know that. So you're not gonna like what I'm about to say, because yes, it's gonna feel icky and terrible and it is, technically, about as illegal as anything can be when you're behind the -- what's the word for it these days?

Masquerade? Oh, man, that's so much better than it used to be. Nice.

Anyway.

Learn how to muddle a kid's memories.

Yeah. I know.

No, I don't like it either.

Only a few times. Thank God.

There's a trick I use, though -- and also makes it a lot less icky -- build a time limiter. Make a spell up, on your own, that is inextricably tied to a time limiter. Make it so it breaks when they're... remind me, what's, like, an age where kids are allowed to make bad choices?

Jesus. That's too young.

Well, let's say, uh... twice that? Twice that. That seems fine.

Don't make it something flashy. Just... let the memories fade back in. And after that, if they find you, it's not a kid, and they can make their own bad choices.

Yeah, I know.

I said it wasn't always a fun job. Wasn't just talking about the bodily fluids -- oh, yeah, that too. They're totally gonna get things on you. Snot, vomit, blood... small children end up bleeding a surprising amount, honestly?

Sure, yeah, I can teach you some cleaning cantrips.

When normal people throw a birthday party for their child, they call in a magician. When magicians throw a birthday party for their child, they call you.

#*ahem.* anyways #finch writes #the vague urban fantasy idea

2K notes · View notes

starrynights-sunnyskies · 2 days ago

Text

as the flowers bloom, my heart does too ⋆*·ﾟmisa x putellas!femreader, social media au, (the honeymoon diaries)

⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ

when your relationship ends and all you want to do is hide and cry, flowers suddenly start to appear on your doorstep.

or; misa hating to see a pretty girl cry and suffer and going out of her way to cheer her up while staying anonymous

fic: see my masterlist

⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ

3,688 likes yourusername: honeymoon era incoming

○○○○○○○

sofie.svava 💞💗💘

alexiaputellas Have the best time ever, you two!

bff1 do it safe xoxoxo

albaps9 THOSE HEELS 🤩 ↳ yourusername wanna borrow them some time? ↳ albaps9 YES ↳ yourusername done deal!

bff2 💅🏽

⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ

29,013 likes marisabel_rguez: Together.

○○○○○○○

albaps9 cute tush @/yourusername on fourth slide 👀 ↳ bff1 boom chicka wow wow ↳ yourusername perverts

salmaparalluelo omg 😍

ingrid_engen all the best you two!

username4 goals

bff1 they're a little fruity

alexiaputellas Did they have chicken nuggets and french fries on the menu? ↳ yourusername no 😔

jennihermoso Enjoy your honeymoon, you might only get one! 😉 ↳ yourusername obviously!!!

⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ

Text Messages

you: soooo… we live together

you: we’ve gotten married

you: are almost together for 5 years

wifey 💞: Yes…

wifey 💞: Where are you going with this?

you: and we’re really settling down now

wifey 💞: Go on

you: i think it’s time for the next step

wifey 💞: Next step? 😅😳

you: i kind of might have maybe highly likely lowkey went somewhere today

wifey 💞: Oh god what did you do

you: iiiii went to the animal shelter

wifey 💞: Y/N Rodriguez-Putellas, there better not be a dog sitting on my side of the couch when I get back

you: omg no i would never adopt or make such a decision without you knowing

wifey 💞: Phew

you: however…

wifey 💞: How about an aquarium first?

you: ugh no

you: can i talk to a fish?

wifey 💞: You can sure try

you: can i cuddle a fish?

wifey 💞: Better not try that

you: can it keep me company when you’re away?

wifey 💞: Maybe not, but they're fun to look at?

wifey 💞: And they’re easier to take care of than a dog. A dog would be really dependable on us.

you: was i talking about a dog? 🧐

wifey 💞: 😱

you: because i saw THE cutest cat there!!! a little ginger one

wifey 💞: Ginger cats are known to be evil spawns

you: that was the nickname my fam had for me when i was a teenager so i’m the living proof to not judge a book by its cover 😇

wifey 💞: I mean…

you: rude!

wifey 💞: Hahaha tell me about the cat, babe

you: they found him a few weeks ago dumped on the side of a road and he was really malnourished and sick, but he’s been a fighter.

wifey 💞: And he took to you?

you: yeah immediately ):

you: he’s like, my soulmate

wifey 💞: Who’s rude now? Ouch 😂

you: but he's still struggling and is still taking lots of meds. he's weak but getting stronger each week, and i just want to give him a proper chance. the shelter can't afford all of his meds etc bc they're not being funded, but we can afford it. if we didn't adopt him, i'd forever keep wondering if he went to a warm home and a good family or if he even made it.

wifey 💞: Ugh I love how much you always care too much

wifey 💞: Listen, I’m not making ANY promises, but I do agree that adding a sweet fluffy friend to our family could be great, and that I've been thinking about it too.

wifey 💞: When I’m home, we can go to the shelter to visit him again, how’s that sound?

you: no way

you: are you serious

you: misa don't fuck with me now

wifey 💞: Yes way, and I am.

you: aaaaaaaah i’m so excited!!! this is going to be the best thing ever for him!!!!!!

you: and for us ofc

you: i’m going to ask my friend on some tips on having a cat so we can be sure to make a decision

you: outweigh the pros and cons

you: no matter how much i already love that little one, i want to be sure we can properly take care of him and give him the best home ever.

wifey 💞: That’d be perfect. Keep me updated?

wifey 💞: And I’m sure we can

wifey 💞: I love you

you: i love you toooo (even if you had said no)

wifey 💞: Really? 🤔

you: YES REALLY 😪

wifey 💞: Just promise me you won't start loving him more than me.

you: hmmkay 😁😁😁😁

⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ

tagged: marisabel_rguez 9,618 likes yourusername: still on cloud nine

○○○○○○○

alexiaputellas ❤️

bff3 You both deserve the world.

patri8guijarro Favourite wives!

kika.nazareth Aaah ☺️💗

fridolinarolfo 😍😘

⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ

tagged: bff3, bff2, bff1, albaps9 7,014 likes yourusername: throwback to the best weekend ever

○○○○○○○

bff1 best sleepover i've had since elementary

username2 oh WOW!

bff2 Didn't get a wink of sleep but it was SO FUN

albaps9 definitely cherished my time being part of the fab 4 ↳ bff3 I didn't know we had a name! ↳ yourusername yea no i'm vetoing that one

bff3 My girls 😍 And god, you were radiating that day!!

username1 gosh you're gorgeous y/n!!

marisabel_rguez Oh how absolutely beautifully happy you looked. I love you. I'm the luckiest. 45 likes ↳ yourusername no i am 🥺

⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ

Text Messages

albaquerque 🌼: hello my sweet sweet sisters by birth and by law

albaquerque 🌼: mami and i thought it would be sweet to spend saturday the 21st of the next month with as much family we can gather

albaquerque 🌼: and plus ones (hi misa, hi olga)

wifey 💞: Hi Alba 😌

olga 🌸: Hiiii

you: gonna catch ‘em all.

wifey 💞: Uhhh, let me check, but sounds fun!

ale🐻: What do you have in mind? I’m glad Y/N isn’t picking this time because i’m not going to another pottery class

you: hey!! everyone liked that but you!! you just hated it because yours came out like a demolished turd

olga 🌸: 🤣

ale🐻: That's such an exaggeration

olga 🌸: no, babe, she's right. it looked horrible

albaquerque 🌼: AnYwAy, we want to go go-karting

you: MAMI wants to go GO-KARTING?

albaquerque 🌼: and maybe go to a winery/outside dining in some fancy shmancy vineyard

you: okay in what order? bc i’m not going onto the track after you’ve had a few drinks. you’re already a terrible driver as is

albaquerque 🌼: ok so y/n is no longer invited

wifey 💞: Can I still come?

you: fuck u 😒

albaquerque 🌼: always

olga 🌸: sounds perfect!! i can make it, ale’s still checking her schedule

ale🐻: What about the little ones, though?

albaquerque 🌼: they have an indoor playground or trampoline park thingy there and tia's gonna look after them

you: what the hell, i’d much rather go there than go-karting

albaquerque 🌼: it’s ages 5-12 only on a saturday afternoon

ale🐻: So Y/N will fit right in

olga 🌸: 🤭

you: you're so hilarious

albaquerque 🌼: guys focus, we need to know how many are coming so that we can put in a reservation. they need to prep all the karts beforehand

ale🐻: I should be free on the 21st by the way, so count us in!

wifey 💞: Us too! We'll drive to you guys on Friday already so prepare a room! 😎

you: i'm soooo gonna kick all your asses

olga 🌸: we'll see about that 😌

ale🐻: I'm the best driver on paper, no accidents and no speeding tickets

albaquerque 🌼: that's exactly why you'll be last. you need to be a menace to win go-karting

wifey 💞: Okay, so how dangerous is it exactly....

albaquerque 🌼: as dangerous as we dare to make it mwuahaha

albaquerque 🌼: but you're right, my colleague once got a broken rib lmao so we should probably set some ground rules first like, no intentional bumping or whatever

you: pussy

olga 🌸: pussy

you: jinx

ale🐻: Dios mio, here we go, this looks promising 🤨

you: why did bff1 just text me 'wanna bet on me winning?🏎😈'

albaquerque 🌼: oh yeah

albaquerque 🌼: i invited her

you: 😱

you: as YOUR plus one?!

albaquerque 🌼: oh shut your mouth

albaquerque 🌼: i thought you'd wanted her there since it's been so long, so i invited her. don't act like she's never tagged along to a putellas day before

you: but never as YOUR date ooOoOOoH 😍 smoochie smooch

albaquerque 🌼: y/n shut up before i punch your fucking teeth out

ale🐻: Hey, hey, hey, calma

ale🐻: None of that

ale🐻: The more the merrier. We'll have a fun day ☺️

albaquerque 🌼: exactly!! ale gets it

you: i mean, it's kind of awkward to have your family third-wheel on your date but whatever rocks your boat

albaquerque 🌼: you're mami's least favourite daughter

you: waaahhh waahhh 😪

ale🐻: On second thought, maybe Y/N won't be let in during the 5-12 afternoon, babies don't get to go on the trampolines.

olga 🌸: This is why I love you three

wifey 💞: ⬆️

⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ

Text Messages

bff1👅: wanna bet on me winning?🏎😈

you: ARE YOU COMING TOO??

bff1👅: yes yes alba asked me

you: ○○○

you: are you smooching my sister

bff1👅: ew that's like smooching you

bff1👅: 🤢

you: wtf, why are you saying 'ew' to smooching me? i'm a catch

bff1👅: you wanna smooch me?

bff1👅: 😉

you: i regret using the word smooch now

bff1👅: 😏

you: 🤢

you: and you just totally changed the subject

bff1👅: no, you did

you: oh you're right oopsie🧐

you: ok but.... if you WERE smooching my sister, you'd tell me, wouldn't you?

bff1👅: duh, you know i can't keep a secret from you even if i wanted to. i promise. but i'm not into alba

bff1👅: tbh, she has been nicer lately

bff1👅: which is weird

bff1👅: because she's never been that soft with me usually

bff1👅: maybe she's finally warming up to me after all these years 🤣

you: tbh i feel like she's been feeling really lonely lately

you: everyone around her is in relationships or marriages and settling down

you: i think she's been gravitating towards you bc of that

bff1👅: because i'm also single and pathetic? gee thanks

bff1👅: kidding, i know what you mean

bff1👅: we should set her up with someone

you: ok so long as you organise my funeral after that, because she'd kill me if we did that

bff1👅: oh, don't be so dramatic, what could go wrong?

⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ

↳ 12h ago: marisabel_rguez added to their story

⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ

18,814 likes marisabel_rguez: Slow living with my WIFE. 😇☺️😎

○○○○○○○

ona.battle Absolute goals, you two

albaps9 since when did you become a passenger princess ↳ marisabel_rguez Since I got a cute personal chauffeur!

bff1 confirmed: misa likes watching her lover sleep. creep ↳ marisabel_rguez hey!!! 🤣 and she's my wife! 😤

yourusername hello wife. how are you wife? i love you wife. ↳ marisabel_rguez Hello wife!!! 😘😘😘

yourusername takeout runs are the only type of running i like.

bff1 my mothers

alexiaputellas Did you just capture the moment Misa realised she wanted to get a dog next? ↳ yourusername well, mr peanut won't like that ↳ alexiaputellas Did you really name your cat, mr peanut?? ↳ yourusername you're his auntie!!! you should know! ↳ alexiaputellas I'm a dog person, I don't care about that cat. ↳ yourusername you'll warm up to him, he'll wrap you around his claw 😌 ↳ yourusername but no, that's his nickname ↳ alexiaputellas Why? ↳ yourusername just because ↳ alexiaputellas Just because why? ↳ yourusername because it sounded funny ↳ alexiaputellas I swear you're still five.

⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ

↳ 5h ago: yourusername added to their story ↳ 59min ago: yourusername added to their story

⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ

Text Messages

you: love love love

you: the girls just left 😔

you: i miss you

you: when do you land again?

wifey 💞: Hi my everything, I miss you too

wifey 💞: Did you have a good time together? ❤️

wifey 💞: Umm probably around 1am-ish?

wifey 💞: But don’t stay up until I’m home, that might take another 2-3 hours

you: dooooon’t tell me what to do

you: and yes, the bestest best best time ever

you: you act like i can sleep without knowing if you got home safely.

you: i saved you some dinner if you’re hungry

wifey 💞: Haha, it was worth a try. But thank you, baby

wifey 💞: Will probably be in the air soon, so talk later!

you: see you tonight! stay safe and i love you

wifey 💞: I love you

⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ

tagged: bff1, marisabel_rguez 4,948 likes yourusername: oh, and we became mummies 🐈

○○○○○○○

jennihermoso Welcome to the world, peanut pute-rodri.

bff1 long labour? ↳ yourusername very, whew!

bff2 Aw, your son's just like his mama! (a menace!!) ↳ yourusername 😇

marisabel_rguez Look at our son 😍

albaps9 finally an auntie, i can't believe it. never thought you'd be the first with a kid. you're still a kid yourself. ↳ yourusername soooo you had all your money on ale, an athlete with a busy life? or on yourself, a doof who's single? ↳ albaps9 🤬😤

bff3 The cutest baby ever. ↳ bff1 ikr no diapers, no crying

alexiaputellas RIP to the couch he used as a scratching post. Dogs don't do that 🐶 ↳ yourusername at least he'll never destroy a really expensive set of cleats ahum ↳ alexiaputellas Nala was still young then 🤨

sofie.svava How did you convince misa to finally adopt a pet 😂 ↳ yourusername i asked reeeeeeeeally nicely ↳ bff1 read: she begged on her hands and knees ↳ yourusername 😧 ↳ bff1 get your mind out of the gutter, you dipshit ↳ marisabel_rguez She did ask really nicely, actually 😌

⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ

Text Messages

albaquerque 🌼: mami, ale and i figured it all out

mama 😊: What did you figure out, mija?

you: alba is secretly adopted all along? 😱 i KNEW it

albaquerque 🌼: i figured out the cause of your high blood pressure and your stress

ale🐻: I'm not sure I want to be involved in this 🤨

mama 😊: What is it?

albaquerque 🌼: [photo]

you: 😑

you: i knew it would be something stupid like this

mama 😊: Haha, tell me something I don't know!

ale🐻: Mami 😂😂😂

you: oh wow 🙂

albaquerque 🌼: see? 😇

mama 😊: I love you all to pieces and equally, but Y/N honey, you did almost cost me my heart. Multiple times.

mama 😊: But that's all in the past, and we're all going through good times now. I'm proud of you and how you overcame your obstacles. You're my strong little girl, mijita.

mama 😊: I'm proud of all three of you and the life you're building for yourselves. I love you.

mama 😊: My beautiful girls!! 😍

ale🐻: Thanks mama 😘

you: your plan backfired, alba, i got complimented instead hehehe 💁‍♀️🕺

albaquerque 🌼: lalalala 😒

mama 😊: 😛

mama 😊: Some things never change.

ale🐻: Forever one step away from annoying each other 🤪

mama 😊: 🤭🤗

⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ

tagged: alexiaputellas, yourusername 205 likes username1: alexia and her sister with fans after the gala. eli was there too.

○○○○○○○

username4 we were there!!!!! it was so cold but they still stayed and talked and took photos with us. yn felt very weird people wanted a photo with her too and got VERY shy, alexia just laughed at that ↳ username6 girly still doesn't seem to grasp her popularity within the woso fandom 🤣

username9 Ahh no, we just missed them 😭

username3 Eli raised beautiful, gracious women! She must be proud 🖤

username18 imagine having Ale as a big sis

username5 NO BUT LISTEN- i met her a looong while ago with my gf on the streets in madrid when she told us she'd get our message through to misa and tonight she recognised us and said she told misa back then!!! she's a literal angel!!

username35 no but why am I so obsessed with the putellas sisters? I need more of them

username10 Alexia was so sweet with Y/N, making sure she stayed close and was feeling okay. She seems like such a great big sister. ↳ username4 fr! i noticed that too! yn was getting the baby of the fam treatment! also from eli, it was rlly cute to see. eli was taking pictures for herself of ale and yn too ahaha.

username15 they really look alike here ↳ username18 Yeah, that happens with siblings 🤭

⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ

Text Messages

you: hahaha your sister sent me a photo of you in high school

wifey 💞: Which one?

you: [photo]

you: as if i couldn’t love you more

wifey 💞: Oh my god, I’ll kill her. She's sabotaging my marriage by sending that photo to you

you: you're so dramatic ahahaha

wifey 💞: Pfff, you and I would not have been dating if we met in high school

you: WHY NOT

wifey 💞: Have you seen high school me? and have you seen high school you????

you: aw but you were so young and adorable and you were cool and already so gorgeous. we all look silly in our old photos with the trends from back then. but i love it.

wifey 💞: No, I look disgusting!!

you: you were already beautiful, and i’m pretty sure teenage-me’s heart would’ve leaped in her chest whenever you would have looked at her

you: you'd probably even be my sweet gay awakening ☺️

wifey 💞: I thought it was that actress

you: which one? there were so many 😂

wifey 💞: If we'd dated then, I'd constantly have to fight off the competition

you: yea? you would've blasted 'steal your girl' by 1D in your room after school? 😂

you: i would've only had eyes for you, let's be real

you: and high school misa already had my misa in her, so i'll adore young misa even more. protect her and carry her around like a tiny pokemon. pika pika.

wifey 💞: I've never seen a girl as pretty as you

wifey 💞: You're really weird though

you: 🙃

wifey 💞: ....👀 Kidding. I love you.

you: and i love every version of you. young, old and wrinkly, grumpy, hangry, ....horny...,frustrated after a loss.... hangry (again)

wifey 💞: Flattery will get you everywhere, Mrs Rodriguez

you: you’re making me feel like a sexy teacher, mrs putellas

wifey 💞: Is this your way of trying to get us to roleplay?

you: NO.

you: unless...

wifey 💞: You're crazy

you: about you? always. 😁

wifey 💞: I love you to pieces, you know that, right?

⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ

tagged: bff3, marisabel_rguez 2,378 likes yourusername: we finish each other's sandwhiches

○○○○○○○

marisabel_rguez Jinx, jinx again.

bff2 Our biggest tiny friend <3

bff1 it's the 'you're really weird though' for me

albaps9 your breakfast looks like it came straight from the trash ↳ yourusername you're straight from the trash ↳ albaps9 that's no way to talk about our mother ↳ yourusername 😯 ↳ albaps9 we shared a womb, and since i came before you, there are parts of me in you ↳ yourusername ew ew ew ew why phrase it all like that ↳ alexiaputellas Did you read that somewhere online? 😂 ↳ albaps9 yup. and we can even have cells from our tio in us bc he was in abuela's womb before mama ↳ yourusername eeeeewwww ew ew ew stop. i'm good not knowing.

bff3 He absolutely loved the sleepover! But did you and Alba teach him to flip people off? ↳ bff1 gasp.... ↳ bff2 Omg you did what, yn? ↳ yourusername wait what??? ↳ yourusername no no no definitely not!! ↳ bff3 He keeps raising his middle finger to everyone and then laughs 😥😅 ↳ albaps9 it's not a middle finger, it's a unicorn fist 🖕 ↳ yourusername alba i'm going to kill you

⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ

28,014 likes marisabel_rguez: I don't exist if I don't have her, the sun doesn't shine, the world doesn't turn, alright? 🎶❤️

○○○○○○○

albaps9 YN OMG YOU CUTIE

alexiaputellas Hey you got her to puzzle with you, she must really love you ↳ alexiaputellas Kidding, I love how happy you make her ↳ marisabel_rguez ☺️

username8 She's so adorable omg

janafernandez3 sweeeeeet like candy 🍭

username3 she's radiating 🥺

yourusername but i knoooooow, i knoooooow for suuuuure. ↳ marisabel_rguez Everybody wanna steal my giiiiirl, everybody wanna take her heart away ↳ yourusername couple billion in the whole wide wooooorld ↳ marisabel_rguez Find another one 😤 ↳ yourusername cause sheeeee belongs to meeee 😇

ingrid.engen That first one!!!! Sooo cute, yn!!

sofie.svava prettiest girl ever

username6 aw she looks so happy ↳ yourusername bc i was looking at mah wife 😊 12 likes

⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ

tagged: marisabel_rguez 2,658 likes yourusername: happy valentine's 💌

○○○○○○○

bff3 Happy Valentine's Day, beauties!

username9 Happy valentine's!

marisabel_rguez Thank you for being my valentine 😉😘 ↳ marisabel_rguez And thank you for all the sweet gestures, I love you.

alexiaputellas ❤️

username3 love is in the air <3

⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ

↳ 1h ago: yourusername added to their story

⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ

tagged: marisabel_rguez 5,018 likes yourusername: holding space with my wife.

○○○○○○○

Bff2 love that for you 👉👌 ↳ bff1 ahahahaha those emojis ↳ bff2 what? ↳ bff2 wait no!!! it's like the meme!!! holding onto the finger! omfg

jennihermoso Look at that rock still shining 💍

username8 ma'am... your aesthetic and feed- 💅🏽

marisabel_rguez What a woman 😍

username1 HOT TO GO 🕺

bff1 listen, misa? uh, misa? i've got something to confisa ↳ albaps9 you deserve each other, you and BOQQQQ ↳ yourusername 🤦‍♀️🤭

⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ

↳ 12h ago: marisabel_rguez added to their story

⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ

Text Messages

you: happy 5 years together, my love. i'm easily the happiest i've ever been. i never in my wildest dreams would've imagined this. thank you for all your healing love, your support, your care and for choosing me.

wifey 💞: Happy five years, beautiful. I'll always choose you, every second of every day. You're my entire world, now and always. I love you

⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ

a/n: happy valentine's day, my loves!

#woso x reader #misa rodriguez x reader #woso social media au #woso imagine #misa rodriguez social media au

166 notes · View notes

hwaslayer · 2 days ago

Text

wildfire (cs) | thirteen.

—spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.

—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 7k

—chapter content/warnings: cussing, we catch a lil moment with belle 🙄, crying .. lots of crying, just lots of hurt and heartache, more misunderstandings, we see a bit of parents from both sides - esp san's dynamic with his father, flashback scene with smut: oral (f. receiving), 🤠, praises, lots of sweet kisses and tender moments, some nipple play, soft and slow smut!!

—a/n: fic announcement soon!

If the texts yesterday afternoon weren't nerve-wracking enough, it was the downtime in between the texts and seeing San that had you ready to curl up in a ball out of anxiety; fetal position, rocking back and forth as an attempt to rid the feeling. San hadn't texted much after deciding the two of you should talk the following day, and you never questioned why he couldn't just see you the same night he had told you he needed to talk.

you: 😞 you didn't even look my way when you walked back into the office and i haven't heard from you all day.

you: i hate how all my papers and presentations are due this week. plus ppl have been weird, idk. i just wanna cuddle 😭

san: i'm sorry. it's just been a day.

you: that's never stopped you before... ☹️ what's wrong, san?

san: we should talk, baby.

you: oh.. okay. so let's talk tonight? i just need to finish up a few things, and i'm halfway done on most of my papers and presentations. i think they can wait a bit.

san: no, you should finish up. i've got a ton of things to catch up on so tonight won't work. can we do this tomorrow? i'll come pick you up once we're both done in the lab.

you: are you sure?

san: mhm. i'm sorry again, it really just has been kinda all over the place today.

you: it's fine, san. as long as you can promise me we're okay?

san: we will be. i'll talk to you tomorrow, okay? try to take breaks and rest well.

You accepted it, even if it felt excruciating and painfully long.

These things never turn out well, and you knew your case wasn't gonna be an exception. You were afraid for it, you were nervous and you were wondering what San might do to try and lessen the blow of whatever was coming.

He wouldn't hurt you, right?

He meant it when he said you two would be okay, right?

Even if he tried to be as reassuring, everything about it felt off and cryptic. None of it felt like sunshine and rainbows, none of it felt like the San you felt in love with. None of it felt like the giddy excitement, the comfort, the safety you had come to know and love.

You hated automatically assuming the worse, but nothing was preventing you from doing so— not even San.

Today was actually pretty uneventful, nonetheless. Despite the wait and silence from San, you felt like you managed to get by in one piece. It still felt like everyone was looking at you; like they had all known your deepest, darkest secrets. Like they had been following your every move, especially while you were with San. It still felt awful, but you had learned how to push aside because people could talk and assume— but they would never know the true story.

And who knows? Even if you tried to explain yourself, they wouldn't get it.

You didn't really owe that explanation to anyone, you think.

The only other weird part about your day was when you had tried to help Belle earlier since you had some downtime and she brushed you off completely. She had been avoiding you, and it was pretty obvious she was letting the talk get to her head. She didn't maintain eye contact with you, she didn't acknowledge you, and she didn't talk to you the way that she used to.

—FLASHBACK

You walk into the lab, passing by a few of your labmates with a tiny, toothless smile etched on your lips. There was no Sunwoo around, but there was Belle; yet, she still hadn't turned to acknowledge your presence. You had gotten through your to-do list for Sunwoo's project, leaving you with extra time to spare today. You hadn't been able to dedicate a lot of your support to Belle lately due to all those technical issues you needed to troubleshoot for your project with Sunwoo, and you figured this would be a good time to make up for it.

Unless she had other plans.

"Hey Belle!" You come to her desk, pulling the courage from deep down within you to approach her first. She looks up at you, a brow cocked up before returning her attention to her laptop. "I have some time to help—"

"No thanks, I'm good." She doesn't look at you. "Just so you know, I don't really need extra help anymore. I've got everything figured out already."

"Oh, okay." You step away from her desk, fiddling with your fingers while you stand there looking dumb. "Are you sure?" She pauses her typing before finally looking back up at you with her brows knit tightly together.

"I just said it, didn't I?"

"I-I'm sorry, I just wanted to make sure since I had the time and I haven't been able to help you out as much cause of Sunwoo's project."

"Why don't you go and use your extra time with Professor Choi since you've been doing that anyway?" She gives you a look that settles in the pit of your stomach. You don't say anything to her, even as she shuts her laptop close and stands— brushing past you to get to one of the behavior rooms. You feel a bit hurt, and your other labmates aren't even paying attention to the whole thing; or, maybe they are, and they just don't wanna say anything to dig deeper into the wound.

So, you turn on your heel with your head down, returning to your desk to continue your data analysis in silence.

—END

You try to tell yourself that it doesn't really matter— that you didn't need anyone's reassurance or validation. It hurt despite not being super close to Belle, but you knew she thought of you in a different light now and that wasn't really fair. You could see how it'd look problematic on the surface, but you thought she knew you better than that.

Guess it's also your fault for assuming.

When it's time for San to pick you up at your usual pick-up spot, you grab your keys and head out— still not having changed out of your outfit for the day. You try to take slow steps to not seem too eager, but you can't help it when you see San parked in his usual spot. This time though, he isn't watching for you in the rear view mirror.

"Hey." You swing the door open and slide in. San gives you a small smile, followed by a:

"Hey." He watches as you dip forward to kiss him on the lips like you always do, and he surprisingly takes it. You were getting ready for the rejection or some kind of pull back; but, to San's own knowledge, he did it because he knew it'd be the last time he could savor it.

"You okay? Were you able to finish everything you needed to?"

"Uh, yeah. Think so." He says with a subtle chuckle before driving off.

"Are we going to your house?"

"Thought we could sit at the view and talk, if that's okay with you?" You slowly nod, keeping your eyes trained on San as he drives.

"Okay. You're scaring me, Sannie." He shakes his head.

"Please don't be."

"Then why couldn't we just talk about this like normal at your place?"

"Y/N, you trust me, right?" He quickly looks at you as he comes across a red light. You silently nod, just in time for him to drive off and continue onto the destination. "Okay, so trust me." He's still being so cryptic and distant that you don't even know how to respond. You quietly sit back in your chair and watch the surroundings pass you by, trying to settle the queasiness you feel building in your stomach.

These things never go well, and your case doesn't seem to be a one-off.

San continues to remain silent as he drives the rest of the way to the view, the music softly filling in as background noise that's enough to distract you. When he pulls into the small empty side lot and parks his car, he lets out a sigh and sits back.

"How was your day today?" He asks softly, still avoiding contact with you.

"It was okay, I guess. Better than yesterday."

"That's good."

"San." You adjust your position so you're looking directly at him, body facing him. "What is it that you wanted to talk about?"

"I don't know where to start."

"You have to start somewhere." He sighs again. "You know, whatever it is, you can tell me. We can figure this out together." You raise your hand to cup his cheek, almost somewhat of a gesture to force him to look at you. And for a minute, you feel him relax under your touch. You can tell he wants to turn and kiss the palm of your hand like he usually does, but he doesn't. "Sannie—"

"We should stop this." Your mouth slightly drops even though you don't know what to say. Your eyes widen, your touch turns cold. You retreat your hand while you let the response sink, San still keeping his gaze out of the window because he truly can't dare to look at you right now.

He'll fold.

He'll forget all about this and risk everything for the both of you.

He shouldn't.

"W-what?"

"We need to stop this, Y/N." He finally looks at you and his gaze feels like an icebox. Everything feels so cold and distant, even if it's supposed to be a front; it's working, and it's fucking you up completely.

"All of a sudden? I-I thought we were fine, what happened? What did I do wrong?" He shakes his head.

"Nothing. It's not anything you did, I'm just trying to be realistic here."

"Realistic? I thought you didn't care about the outside noise?"

"We're only prolonging the inevitable, don't you get it? Everything is going to come crashing down on us whether we like it or not. No matter how hard I try to stop it, this is what it'll eventually come to." You don't really understand where he's coming from or what he's getting at, but it's too late— you feel the tears steadily streaming down your cheeks.

Then, you're sobbing into your hands and you feel pathetic. But San feels terrible, he hates this. He doesn't wanna do this but he's conflicted between right and wrong, between being selfish and letting you go. "San, why?"

"Y/N, please hear me out on this, okay?" He's barely able to answer.

"Why? You ask him again. You cry in his passenger's seat, wiping it away with your sweater sleeves. "You said I could trust you, a-and that you wouldn't hurt me because you didn't care about anyone else."

"I need you to understand that I'm doing this because I care about you."

"But, I love you." San shakes his head as tears streak his own cheeks.

"We're being too selfish." He looks at you. "I am. I'm being too selfish and I don't need this to ruin things for you more. I need to put you first—"

"Why do you get to decide what that looks like for me, San?" He doesn't respond. "So, you don't want this?" He lets out a shaky sigh. "Us?"

"That's far from how I feel and you know it."

"Why can't you just say it back? Why can't we just let this be? I don't care—" You tug on his arm and he grips your hand before shaking his head.

"Because this is already hard as it is. Y/N, listen to me." He pleads, cupping your cheeks. He finally looks deep into your eyes, his thumb gently caressing the surface. The life in his eyes are gone. The glow, the stars. Now, his eyes are dull. They're holding back. They don't show you anything. "We should stop. We need to. Namjoon and the dean are discussing your future at the school, and I need you to keep going in this program. I need you to keep going forward even if that means I can't be right there with you every step of the way. You deserve to be here and you deserve to finish this until the very end. You've worked so hard to get here, and I refuse to let them lose out on you simply because of me."

"This makes no sense to me. Why do we have to do this? We can just be more careful and plan better. We can just—"

"I'm trying to protect you."

"Protect me? From Namjoon and the dean? Or are you trying to protect yourself?"

"I don't give a damn about me, Y/N!" He's a little angrier with this response but you know it isn't directed towards you. It's towards Namjoon. The dean. Yunho and Iseul. This whole fucked up situation. "I'm always gonna put you first. It's always been about you and it'll always be about you." You cry a bit harder at his answer, unsure of what to make of this entire thing. You don't know if San really means this or if he is just trying to protect you. You don't know what to do, you don't know if you should keep trusting him the same way.

You don't know if you can, and that's probably because you're blinded by all the overwhelming emotions you're feeling right now.

The both of you sit in this thick silence, your cries now filling the space while San tries to muster up the last bit of his energy to try and make you feel better— to get you to understand this better.

It's not that he wants to, he has to.

"I don't—" He swallows thickly. "I don't wanna do this but I have to. You have to understand." He says at a whisper, more tears streaming down his red-stained cheeks. "You have to understand, baby. Please." He begs. "I don't want them to do anything to you and I don't wanna jeopardize your future. Just listen to me. We have to do this." He leans forward to cup your cheeks and wipe your tears away with his thumb.

"No, we don't." You almost whine, but all San can do is shake his head and sit back in his seat.

"I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you, but I have to do what's best for you." His voice shakes. "I really am so sorry, sweetheart." He answers lowly, wiping his remaining tears before retreating back into his shell and showing off his cold demeanor for the remainder of his time with you. "I should get you back."

"I should've never trusted you. I should've known this was all too good to be true. You didn't care." You cry, repeating all this nonsense to try and get him to hurt the same way as you somehow. Because he'll never understand. Everything had led up to this and you were still unprepared for this. Even though you knew you'd be here at some point, nothing would have ever prepared you for the way your heart drops to your stomach; the way you feel nothing but thunder and rain.

Blue and grey.

He does, though.

In fact, he's probably hurting the most because he had to pull the trigger and let you go.

He hates it. He fucking hates it.

He's trying to drown out the rest until he gets you back to your building because he can't take it. He can't take hearing you cry anymore, he can't take hearing you say these awful things because you're angry at the moment. He hopes that you'll see where he's coming from eventually because all he's ever wanted to do was protect you and keep you safe.

All he's ever done was care about you, and you only.

All he's ever felt was love for you, and you only. You showed him what love was like again and he'll never take that for granted.

This was him showing you love. He needed to put you first.

"I care about you more than anything. I'm trying to do what's best—"

"Without involving me? Deciding for me? Yeah." You wipe away at your cheeks once more before unbuckling your seatbelt. "Whatever San, save it." You tell him before swinging the door open and stepping out. "You were just trying to protect me. I get it."

"Baby, don't be like that. Please don't make this harder than it already is. I would never intentionally hurt you. You know this." He tries to reach for your hand, but you move it away.

"You don't get to call me that anymore." You roll your eyes. "Anyway, goodluck, San." Is all you say before slamming his door shut and storming off. You begin to cry to yourself again, feeling sorry for yourself and stupid. You know deep down that San was only trying to do the right thing and that he was trying to protect you. But, right now, you're angry, you're sad, you're upset. You feel empty and betrayed and you just need to feel this out in order to let it pass.

This too shall pass.

When you head upstairs, you quickly pack up a few things, along with your laptop and other school-related necessities before locking up and heading to your car. You feel a migraine coming on, which definitely means you should take it easy and stay behind; but, all you can think about is getting to your mom and being away from school for a few days.

Nothing's better than a mother's love and comfort, even though you aren't entirely sure how she's gonna react to this, how she'll feel about San.

In the end, you don't hate him.

You can't.

You could never.

—FLASHBACK

"That was a good girl's date, wasn't it? We got massages, our nails done. Now we're eating a banana split under this nice weather." Your mom chuckles. "You need to come home more often."

"I know, I know." You scoop up a good helping of the banana split, internally conflicted on when is a good time to let your mom know about what's been going on. She would probably be surprised and scared for you, but your mom had a good way of choosing her words. She had a good way of being there for you but making her concerns known without pointing fingers or putting any blame on your actions.

"How has school been? Your friends?"

"They've been good. We've all been busy with our labs."

"Jiung's been good? You think you guys are all gonna stay in the labs you're currently rotating in?"

"He's good, yeah. And I think so, they all seem to be enjoying it."

"How about you?" You poke at the banana before scooping another helping. Your mom can already tell there's something else on your mind, but she's gonna let you take the floor and open up about it when you're ready.

Which is now.

You just don't know if she's ready.

"Uh, yeah. It's been good!" You give her a small smile. "I'm still deciding on my route, but it's been good." Pause. "There's actually something else I've been meaning to tell you."

"Okay, try me!" She chuckles. "What is it?"

"I've been seeing someone."

"Oh?" She laughs. "Well, isn't that great?! I mean, you never needed a man, okay. But, as long as they make you happy and add value to your life. I just want you happy." She laughs. "Who is he, where did you meet? Tell me everything!" You sigh and take a deep breath before starting.

"We met at school. In the lab. Because.. he's my rotation professor." You give her a look, afraid of what she'll say. She stops mid-bite and almost chokes, setting her spoon down before looking at you with knitted brows.

"Your.. what?! Y/N—"

"Mom, please. Just hear me out before you start assuming and saying things. He didn't abuse his power, I didn't throw myself on him, okay? It just happened." You immediately say and look at her with puppy eyes. "We just happened. We grew feelings for each other and just clicked really well. We've been keeping things lowkey."

"But, Y/N. Honey, I say this sincerely. What if people find out? Not that I want them to, but they will." You shrug.

"I don't know, we'll figure it out."

"H-how old is he?"

"32."

"Oh, okay. He's young."

"And handsome." You rest your chin on the palm of your hand and smile. "His name is San. Choi San. He's pretty popular in the bioengineering and neuroscience world."

"That's good." Your mom is slightly shutting down and you know it's because her thoughts are traveling at 100mph and she doesn't know what to think or do.

Or say.

"Mom, I'm sorry. I know you're worried but I'll be fine, okay? I promise. It'll all be fine." You add to break the silence and reach for her hand.

"I just don't want him to hurt you and then you lose everything you've worked so hard for over him."

"I just don't know where this is gonna take us. Things feel too overwhelming. Like.. I just don't want any talk getting into his head about us."

"It could really ruin things for the both of you, Y/N. Please be smart about your actions. Don't throw everything away because of him. That's all I ask. Just by the looks of it, I know he makes you happy and you're riding cloud nine, but you need to remember who comes first— yourself."

"I know. I hear you. I don't mean to cause any unnecessary worry or anything."

"No, you're not. Lovey, I'm your mom, I'm always gonna worry regardless. But, I trust you enough to make the right decisions and to take care of yourself. I know you'll be smart and I know you won't be completely reckless. I'm not gonna lie, this— this isn't a 'conventional' relationship and I'm not sure how I feel about it yet." She sighs and looks at you with a hint of concern in her eyes. "I'm trying hard to see this from your side, not from my side, and I think it'll take me time to get used to. In the end, I just don't want you to get hurt. I don't want people to think bad about you, and I don't want you to lose everything you've worked so hard for."

"I know, but it's all okay. I promise." You promise her, but you don't even know if you believe the promise yourself. "You can trust him." She doesn't say much, and you can tell she's trying her hardest to swallow her true emotions.

"Just becareful."

—END

San picks up the phone to call Namjoon, hands slightly trembling. He's still sitting in his car, still sitting in the same spot because it's his turn to cry and let out all his feelings. He hits the steering wheel before running a hand through his hair, second-guessing all his decisions.

Why did it have to come down to all of this? Did he really have to? How long before he folds and comes back to you?

Before he says fuck this all together and chases after you?

He keeps trying to remind himself that he needs to protect you and let this blow over. He keeps trying to remind himself that it'll all be worth it and you both will find your way back to each other again.

In time.

"San."

"It's over with." Is all he is able to say before Namjoon lets out a small sigh on the other end.

"I'm sorry, San. Look, just give this time—" Quite frankly, he doesn't wanna hear it anymore. Not today, not tomorrow, not for awhile.

"It's fine." He cute him off. "You don't have to say it. Just please make sure nothing happens to her."

"You got my word. I'll figure this out. Don't worry." San ends the call before he's digging his head into his hands and cries.

And cries.

Because now his days are going to blend back to the black and white filter he used to have on. He'll never experience that warmth, those colors, without you around.

He'll never witness where the sea meets the sky, when the sun sinks below the horizon. When dawn meets dusk.

His days will be monotone and dull, lifeless and cold. Gloomy. Days he had prayed to get past and never return to.

But, he's here again.

And somehow, this pain feels worse this time around than the first time.

—FLASHBACK

San sighs when he pulls up to his parents' house, aggressively shifting the gear to park before taking a moment to himself. He wasn't happy when his father left him a voicemail, scolding him for the rumors going around about him dating his student. He was quick to call him names and demand him to make things right before his name could be tainted in the industry. San isn't gonna lie, he's always looked up to his father. Things changed when San started making a name for himself in the academic industry, creating some kind of competitive tension between the two. Well, San never felt that way. His dad strongly did though, for whatever reason.

He never understood it. It's whatever.

What San wasn't having was the fact that his father kept calling you a little girl who only wanted to use him to work her way in and up.

He slams the door to his car, adjusting his hat and his jacket before tapping the code into the keypad on the front door.

"San, is that you?" He hears his mom's sweet voice call out to him. He smiles softly when she comes into view in the hallway, opening her arms for a hug. "Please don't mind your father, you know how he is. He's just concerned." She gives the back of his neck a reassuring massage.

"Mm, yeah. I can feel the concern especially when he starts calling me out my name."

"San." His mom gives him a look before his dad looks up from the paper he's reading on the couch, forehead crinkling when he sees his son walk in.

"Why are you here?"

"Hi to you, too." San says while his mom steps in the middle.

"Honey." She turns to his father.

"So, what was up with that voicemail?"

"Why don't you tell us what's been going on with you and your so-called girlfriend? Do you even care about yourself or what this could do to your career? You're so careless—"

"So what if I'm careless! You don't even know her so you don't have a right to do that!"

"Are you actually that stupid, San? Do you know how damaging this could be for you, for us?"

"What does this have to do with you?!" San's voice raises.

"It has everything to do with us! Everyone thinks you either forced that girl into a relationship or she threw herself on you and you stupidly took the bait!"

"Even if I said it wasn't like that, you wouldn't listen anyway!"

"Are you serious about her?"

"What makes you think I'm not? We're two grown adults who are capable of making our own decisions and knew the consequences from the very beginning."

"And you think she'll stay? Someone that young and who is just getting started with her life, basically. You think she'll stay and be there for you when times get rough?"

"Absolutely." His dad scoffs.

"Is that so? Wishful thinking. You couldn't even keep Iseul and now you're downgrading to a st—"

"Hey!" San's mom cuts off his father's statement. "That is enough from you. Don't finish that sentence."

"You have no idea what Iseul put me through!" San's tone is louder to match his father's energy. "I found somebody who genuinely and truly cares about me and who I am. That isn't enough for you? Just because she's a student, but a grown adult at that?! You can't even be happy for a second? You still find a way to be on Iseul's side even though she cheated with my bestfriend!"

"Maybe it's time you realized you pushed Iseul away. That was your own doing. And this girl? Don't come to me and make me tell you 'I told you so' when she leaves after she's gotten everything she needs from you." San's dad is fuming in front of him. "How could you be so sure things will be smooth sailing with her, hm? What makes you think this can work?"

"This is fucking bullshit, I'm not explaining myself to you. If you don't wanna be happy for me and support me, then so be it."

—END

San thinks maybe his dad was right; maybe this wasn't meant to be, and was just supposed to be another fleeting moment, another lesson.

Even though deep down, he knows it's far from it.

As he sits in his home office, he scrolls through old pictures of you and him together— you, pictures you've sent him. He feels the rush of sadness hit him like bricks, his chest almost physically hurting from the ache. He has this sudden urge to text you and call you, tell you how much he misses you.

But, he stops himself.

What if you stopped caring? What if you were so mad at him that you hated him?

He couldn't bear with it.

If only he knew how much you cried and yearned for him every night, if only he knew how much your head hurt while you laid on your mom's lap while she ran her hands through your hair— gently cooing you and shushing you to help you get some sleep.

If only he knew.

"Mom, I'm sorry." You cry and cry, laying your head on her lap as you let everything out. "You were right, I messed everything up. This was all so stupid. I'm so stupid."

"Don't say that." She shushes you and tries to coo you. "Don't ever say that again." She looks at you. "What happened?" You gather the strength to tell her everything that's been going on. How deep your relationship went with San and how well he took care of you. How you weren't always the most careful but the only reason why things blew up was because of Hae-jin, Iseul and Yunho. How Iseul and Yunho just keep trying to get in between, how Jiung even went to Professor Kim about all of this.

How San broke this off claiming he wanted to protect you and put you first.

How utterly sad and betrayed you feel.

"I'm just so tired of feeling this way. I hate how alone I feel. I hate how much I miss him. I hate how this unfolded the way it did."

"I'm so sorry, honey. You need to let things be for now, okay? I know that's not what you wanna hear, but you need to. Especially for school and yourself."

"Why does anyone care? Why does it matter?"

"People have nothing better to do, and I'm sorry it had to be those two and Jiung."

"I'm so tired, mom. When will this pass? What did I do wrong? Why did he leave so quickly?"

"Lovey. You did nothing wrong. It wasn't you at all, and it wasn't San either. The circumstances are just tough. You didn't know it would play out this way and I'm sure he has his reasons."

"What if he's just using that as an excuse? What if he really doesn't want this anymore?"

"If he really cared about you, why would he lie, Y/N? I'm sure he was doing his best to protect you both, especially you. I know it hurts right now, hun. But, maybe this is for the best." You don't wanna hear it even though your mom might be right.

Maybe this is for the best. Maybe this was just telling you this could never work between you two.

No matter how hard you both tried.

San's urge to text or call doesn't lessen as the next few days go by, especially when he notices he hasn't seen any trace of you. He'll usually see you walking towards the biology building for Yunho's class or making your way to the dining hall with the girls.

If San hadn't overheard Sunwoo telling his lab mates that you were sick, he would've gone crazy.

It still doesn't help that you're feeling unwell and he can't do anything about it.

"Sunwoo." San pokes his head out of his door, causing Sunwoo to lift his head from his laptop and shift his attention towards him. "Can you meet really quickly?"

"Yeah, sure thing. Be right over!"

"Thanks." San heads back to his desk and lets out a breath, waiting for Sunwoo to come. It takes him less than 5 minutes to finally make his way into the office, rubbing his hands down his jeans. "Hey." San looks up at him. "Thanks for coming in on short notice."

"No prob! What's up, Professor Choi?"

"I wanted to talk to you really quickly because I wanted you to hear it from me directly. Starting next week, we'll be losing Y/N's support. She'll be heading to Professor Kim's lab."

"O-oh. Okay. Damn." Sunwoo ticks his head to the side. "Professor Kim with the steal." San chuckles a bit.

"Yeah." San can't even hide his sadness when he looks down at the papers beneath his hands that Sunwoo catches on and he feels bad. He still doesn't know the details and he never will, but if it's one thing he can gather right now, it's the fact that the room feels cold and empty.

It's the fact that San literally has to force himself to smile and deliver this news like all is okay and no big deal— when in fact, it fucking is.

Sunwoo feels so bad.

"So, I know she's out sick right now, but will I still get to see her before she goes? I wanna talk to her to wrap things up, too."

"When she returns, we'll make sure she has time to close loose ends with you and gather her things."

"Hm." Sunwoo nods slowly. "Okay."

"I'm sorry this came up so suddenly, but I had to make a few changes around here. We all thought she'd be a better fit with Professor Kim."

"I see. She's super smart and incredibly great at what she does, I know she'll do well in whatever she does and wherever she goes." San nods.

"Yeah, she will." He sighs. "There's another rotation student that I might bring in next quarter that might be a good fit to work with you, too. His name is Baehyuk."

"Cool. Down to meet whenever the time is right."

"Thanks, Sunwoo."

"No, thank you for always giving me some help and pushing me forward." San gives him a small smile. "Everything will work out."

"Yeah." Is all he could say in response. Because he hopes it will.

Right now, it seems like a far reach.

All San wants to do is love you, rather than hiding just how deeply in love he was with you.

—FLASHBACK

"Here, baby." He turns to hand you a plate with a smile on his face. "Think you can help me dry the last of these dishes and put 'em up?"

"Course, chef." He chuckles, watching as you tip-toe with nothing but his shirt on to reach over and place the dry dishes into the proper cabinet. You follow suit with the last three dishes, setting the towel aside while San wipes away the water droplets around the sink. "We did it, babe! All clean."

"Sure did." He laughs, caging you in against the counter to kiss you sweetly. "Thank you, baby."

"You're welcome." You giggle. "Thank you for making dinner."

"As long as you enjoyed." You nod.

"What do you wanna do for the rest of the evening?"

"Mm, we can watch a movie and fall asleep here on the couch without any worry."

"That's fun." You smile.

"Or, we can do other things that I have in mind." He brushes the hair away from your face while you wrap your arms around his neck.

"Ooh." You reply in a sing-song tone. "Care to indulge?"

"Absolutely." He says just as he swiftly carries you and wraps your legs around him. You squeal as he walks over to the couch and gently plops you down onto the soft cushions, wasting no time to attach his lips to every inch of skin he can. He slowly hovers over you, hands roaming up your shirt and tugging material along with it as he continues to move upward— exposing your cute pink panties from beneath. He sinks to his knees and pries your legs open after fixing your position to the edge of the couch. "Let me make you feel good, love."

"Yes please, Sannie. Please." You beg, watching as San slides down your panties and tosses them aside. His hands caress your thighs, giving them a good squeeze while laying open-mouth kisses along the surface. You continue to watch him, biting on your lip when he hovers over where you need him at most. He licks a stripe up your folds, causing your head to cock back against the cushion. He begins to gently kiss and suck at your heat— a satisfying, breathy moan leaving your lips as you let San relish being in between your thighs. He laps away at your clit, tonguing down your pussy as if he had been deprived of you for years.

You love/hate how good he is at this. "Babe—" You moan loudly, hips now working on their own terms against his mouth. He subtly nods as he continues to suck and lap away at your heat, tongue keeping you wet and filthy; just the way he likes it. "God, right there—" You whine, hips rolling upward and grinding against his mouth, his tongue.

You used to be so shy.

Now, you're not afraid to tell him what you want and he fucking loves it. "Oh—San— gonna—" Your statement comes out broken as you continue to work against his mouth, orgasm crashing down like a harsh wave against the shore. You grip his hair, body twitching as San continues to latch on and groan against your pussy; incredibly hard while watching the way your body surrenders all. "Fuck." You whisper, still twitching due to the aftershocks from your first orgasm of the night.

"That's my girl." He's back to kissing your thighs, hands gently rubbing up and down your leg as a way to soothe you.

"Need you." You tug him by the shirt to plant a messy kiss against his lips— shirt soon to be discarded on the floor, along with his sweats.

Now you're on his lap, slowly riding his cock just the way he likes it— the couch's throw blanket resting against the small of your back and draped along San's lap.

It's his favorite position after all.

"Mm— just like that, baby." He whispers against your lips as you continue to ride him slowly on the couch. "Just like that." He repeats. "You're my good girl, right? Just mine?" He asks lowly and you nod, letting out a sweet moan as he pinches your nipple and watches your head tilt back in pleasure. "Oh, fuck— just like that." His head rests back against the couch, feeling your walls brush against him and drag against his rock hard cock. "All mine."

"Mm'fuck, Sannie." You keep your head back, intense pleasure bubbling at the pit of your stomach. You take him slowly, deeply; his cock hitting all the right spots every time you do a 'lil tug and pull— hips carefully rolling against him.

"So fucking sexy." He groans. "God, you're everything." His lips drag against your skin, tongue swirling around your perky nipples as your hands tug on the ends of his soft, black hair. "Everything to me." He whispers as if your skin could hold all of the universe's secrets. The blanket is barely keeping up with your movements. San's hand comes up along the base of your neck, bringing you back down to envelope your lips with his.

The kiss is full of hunger.

The kiss is slow and steady.

The kiss is messy.

You break the kiss first, body slowly crumbling in his grip when you feel your high approaching quick. You moan loudly, breath ragged as you pant; hips slightly picking up the pace to push yourself further and further until you reach the edge.

"Oh—" San matches your moans. "That's it, sweetheart. Cum for me." He praises you, voice deep— tone sending vibrations all the way down to your core. "Give it to me. Wanna feel you cum all over this dick, angel." Hearing San talk the way he's talking is enough to make your coil snap. He continues to coo you as you come undone on his lap; stuttering in your movements and trembling in his grip. He places his hands on your hips, fingers digging deep into the flesh while he fucks up into you— reaching his high shortly after you with a loud groan and hiss. "Fuck, that was so good, baby." You giggle, forehead against his while his hands gently caress and your back. You leave a tender kiss against his plump lips, and he chases with a few repeated kisses before bringing you down with him on the couch. The both of you lay underneath the throw blanket, now properly covering most of your bodies while San holds you from behind. He has his propped up by an arm while you both watch the show on TV, but San finds his thoughts wandering elsewhere at some point. He begins to look around the house and notices how different it feels since you've been around.

Good different.

A space that used to he so grey, so lifeless; now has remnants of you everywhere.

Your polaroids.

Pictures of you and San in frames.

Your little stuffed animal keychains and rings thrown onto the kitchen island, or the room. Or even his desk in the office.

Your little post-it notes. Your favorite chips and snacks littered around the pantry.

You were there everywhere he turned, and he finds it's one of his biggest blessings.

Especially when you lay here on the couch with him, completely not minding the idea San proposed of just falling asleep on the couch together while sorting through movies.

You agreed so quickly and so happily.

No matter how big or small, most ideas just seemed silly in his last relationship.

But, now he has you— someone who is happy to just be with him and spend time with him. No matter how big or small the idea, the plans.

San loves you.

And he'll never take it for granted.

—END

—read 13.5 here

—taglist: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @vcutparis @chngbnwf @struggling101 @sanhwalvr @angelqueendom @barbielibra @brown88 @choisansplushie @yunhoswrldddd @hyukssunflower @vickykazuya @lucid-galaxys-world @jaytheatiny @pommelex @thechaotictheoryy @vixensss @santineez @nopension @domfikeluva @in-somnias-world @my-atiny-kookie-rkive @mountiiny @naoristerling @onmymymyway @thecutiepieme @wyrated

156 notes · View notes

xiepheer · 2 days ago

Note

hello!! see your new hehe can u do headcannons on what yandere beasts would be like with a spouse, whos real gentleeeee

Yandere Beasts with their gentle spouses! 💖

Hello everyone! Doing one of my first requests! I hope u like this! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

Also reader here is GN so u can choose what gender this will take over!

Now unfortunately, due to the lack of information of the 2 other beast cookies, I would only do 3 which are the released cookies. I hope yall forgive me 😭🙏

Happy Valentine's my pookies!

Shadow Milk cookie

Ahh the master of deceit. What a surprise.

Now of course, with his spouse he very VERY loves would do anything for them.

The jester clown would do anything for his gentle spouse.

Everyone didn't expect the clown to have a spouse who is also very loyal to him.

The beast of deceit, having a spouse. Cookies wondered who even wanted to be with them? (me.)

His beloved spouse was not only small and petite that needed his protection, but also is gentle and is the only cookie that cared for him.

Now he is a jealous cookie.

He does NOT like male cookies that he doesn't trust or know.

This jester would do anything for his darling spouse.

He would kill

He would rob

He would destroy

All for his beloved spouse.

After the forks trapped them, he was worried. Scared.

Scared that another cookie might still his beloved spouse while he's sealed in the silver tree.

Worried that they might get hurt but he can trust Candy Apple cookie and Black Sapphire cookie, right?

Right and wrong.

Candy Apple cookie tried many ways to isolate or make her 'Master Shadow Milk cookie' hate his spouse but couldn't do so.

Candy Apple's jealousy just grew when she sees her master's smile grow wider when he sees his lovely beloved spouse.

Now Black Sapphire Cookie watch over his Master's spouse. He would make sure that Candy Apple cookie don't hurt them.

Or else not only Candy Apple cookie be doomed, but also him for not protecting them.

He would do anything for them. He would destroy everything. Cause chaos. Just for them.

Just to show his 'love' to them.

He would destroy everyone that has a problem agaidnt his spouse.

Have a bully? Sure no problem

Got someone liking them? He would NOT let the cookie that likes his spouse slide. His spouse is his only.

Got someone his spouse would like to get rid of? Sure he can make them into his puppets.

His spouse is only his and his only.

Burning Spice cookie

Now Burning Spice cookie would be the type of ruler with a LOT of spouses but of course, he has favoritism.

This specific spouse was the only soft cookie he has encountered in the Spice desert or Spice Kingdom.

All his other spouses were not the same as his chosen one.

They were all rude and mean, meanwhile his chosen one was gentle, soft, and kind.

This was what he wanted. Under all those destruction, he also needs some relief but couldn't do so since his other spouses acted so rude to him like how any ordinary spice cookies would be.

His favorite spouse is gentle, soft, nice, and despite his destructive personality, they would not leave him.

That is what made him want them more.

Their soft dough, cute dimples, soft cheeks, gentle and carefree personality made him go crazy.

He NEEDS to protect them.

No matter what. He needs to.

The Great Destroyer has needs too.

This Great Destroyer would go crazy for them.

He would destroy countless villages or cities just for them.

After the forks trapped them, he was cursing the witches for sealing him and his friends and most importantly, sealing him away from his beloved spouse.

He was angered. He tried the best he could to try and break free from the forks but the forks wouldn't budge.

Countless attempts of breaking free using his axe and nothing worked.

Now after he was sealed, he can only count on Nutmeg Tiger cookie to protect them and make them the ruler while he was gone.

Nutmeg Tiger cookie on the other hand, did the command. She knew too well what's gonna happen if she disobeys his command.

His other spouses whom he didn't seem to care about but his beloved spouse was angered.

They were all protesting, "Why didn't WE get a turn!?", "This is so unfair!", "let us do what we want since we're his spouses as well!"

Nutmeg Tiger cookie did nothing to them but use her guards agaidnt them.

Telling them if they ever hurted The Great Destroyer's beloved chosen spouse, he would destroy them with no second thought.

Meanwhile, in the silver tree, he couldn't stop thinking about his beloved one. He was actually scared.

Scared that his spouse mind get ended by his other spouses due to jealousy.

But back to the kingdom, they knew better than to mess with Burning Spice cookie.

And they came to the conclusion that his favorite spouse is his and his only.

Mystic Flour cookie

Ahh the cookie of Apathy.

She might not show it to her spouse but her spouse will know she actually loves them by how gentle she is with them.

She has not been gentle with any cookies yet since her corruption.

And yet, eversince she has found them, she felt the urgent need to protect them, to give them whatever they wanted, to love them like no one did to her.

She has always been caused chaos with the other cookies but after she married her spouse, she changed.

She felt an fluttering feeling she hadn't felt.

Now her spouse being the gentle cookie they are, always wanted her.

The cookie of Apathy wasn't expecting such thing.

She was gonna turn the cookie into flour when she couldn't bear to do it.

She has a feeling she has not felt before.

She vowed to protect her beloved spouse, bring what they needed for them.

She would turn any cookies and friends are NOT excluded into flour.

She would cause mass destruction and chaos in Earthbread just for them.

She would do anything for her gentle spouse.

She would love their kisses, hugs, and cuddles coming from them.

Now since those forks fell on her, she just knew she couldn't leave her beloved spouse all alone without her guard.

She desperately tried so hard to reach out for them but the seal closed.

Her beloved spouse was also reaching out as well.

Her days were filled in sorrow and sadness as the thought of her beloved spouse all alone out there, without protection filled her head.

Although she doesn't show it, she would cry a little as the thought takes over.

Her jam was also stripped away from her which made her feel a little weak but not weak enough for her to be considered as a normal cookie again.

She trusts that Could Haetae cookie would watch over her spouse and keep them safe until she has returned and until her soul jam has returned to her.

Now being with Cloud Haetae, they would try their hardest and best to keep their beloved Mystic Flour cookie's beloved spouse safe.

They worked for them, was there for them like Mystic Flour cookie.

With the reminder of the cookie of Apathy, they knew that her beloved spouse was needed to be guarded at all times and that was all they were doing.

Mystic Flour cookie let anyone know who her beloved spouse belongs to.

Hope yall like this! BTW I'm a retired wattpad writer cuz I lost all the motives 1 yr ago but now I think I'm feeling it again 😎

Anyways forgive me for my mistakes if I ever had some while writing this. Have a wonderful day!

#cookie run fandom #cookie run kingdom #shadow milk x reader #shadow milk crk #shadow milk cookie #mystic flour x reader #mystic flour crk #mystic flour cookie #burning spice x reader #burning spice crk #burning spice cookie #beast cookies #beast cookies x reader

165 notes · View notes

kookooluvr · 3 days ago

Text

Teach Me How To Love - Part 6

pairing: professor!jungkook x (fem) professor!reader, fwb to lovers

genre: fluff, angst, smut, fwb au, economicsprofessor!jungkook, politicalscienceprofessor!reader, slow burn, some emotional constipation, some sappy moments, lots of sexy moments.

summary: jeon jungkook, a fellow professor at yonsei university, is your friend, co-worker, and secret bed buddy. you have rules set in place to make sure there are no misunderstandings in your little arrangement. the #1 rule is as clear as day; no catching feelings. simple, right? wrong. let's see how un-simple it gets when a certain economics professor falls for an emotionally unavailable political science professor.

rating: 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

word count: 13.6k

warnings: namjoon and mai's wedding, mentions of anxiety and feelings of panic, oc blames herself for her past failed relationship, jk being jk, they slow dance, hana appearance (not the last), lots of feelings, explicit sexual content; soft romantic sex, looooots of kissing, brief nipple play, oral (f. receiving), he jerks it for two seconds, unprotected sex (she's on the pill, chill out) passionate missionary sex, domestic grocery shopping, angst angst angsty ending, lots of self doubt and tears 🫣

author's note: i apologize in advance 🫥😭😭 the angst has arrived LMAOOO y'all please don't hate my girl oc, she's doing her best, okay? anyway, i'd love to hear all of your thoughts on this one, your comments and asks always make my day !!!! lots of love my angels 🫂

taglist: @rpwprpwprpwprw @livinluvl @chxiosworld @mimi1097 @bumblebee-21s-blog @koosluvss @sou-17 @svnbangtansworld @junecat18 @shrek-the-destroyer @tastykookoonut @sturniolowrld @palomanazareth @chimmisbae @daskewl @ramyun-h @heyitsroshni @matryoshka-poetry @almatiarau @gukkie7 @ambiee3 @blueberriesm @milkk1400 @yuriouki @lovelovethebeatles @somehowukook @deedeeps @emily-hung @jkaxl @bhonbhon @bearchermer

find tmhtl masterlist here

Jungkook has always been a fan of weddings. Some might call him a sap and make fun of him for getting excited about seeing the bride walk down the aisle, or for tearing up at the speeches, but he really doesn't care. He loves it. He especially loves that he gets to witness two of his closest friends tie the knot in just a couple of hours.

For you on the other hand, today is a bit less joyful. That's not to say you're not happy for Namjoon and Mai, because you are. You've grown to really like his friends and you hope their marriage is filled with nothing but happiness and endless love. You're just not a big lover of weddings in general. It could just be the resentment of your failed engagement that you've tucked away in your heart that seems to be clawing its way up to the surface. To you, weddings are just a reminder of everything you've lost.

"Why aren't you dressed yet?" Jihyo asks, her eyes wide as she takes in your pyjama-clad appearance through the screen of her phone. She's already dressed and ready to go in a navy floor-length gown, looking her very best to impress Taehyung, who asked her to be his plus-one.

The FaceTime call was intended for her to ask your opinion on her choice of earrings, but instead, she's caught you in the middle of an anxious spiral.

"I don't know if I can do this," you blurt out, letting out a deep sigh.

"What? Of course you can-"

"No, seriously. I haven't been to a wedding since my cousin's last year and I only stayed for an hour then left," you mutter, chewing on your bottom lip.

When you agreed to be Jungkook's date to the wedding, you were still on cloud-nine after Jeju, your rose coloured glasses still perched snugly on the bridge of your nose. Now? Now you're second guessing everything, your brain yelling at you to take ten steps back.

"Okay, just...breathe. Everything's gonna be fine," Jihyo reassures you. "I know this is out of your comfort zone, but I promise, you're gonna be okay. What happened with Sunghoon doesn't define you. You can do this. You're gonna go and you're gonna dance with Sexyboots and you're gonna have champagne and you'll look hot doing it. And I'll be there if you need me."

Her words bring your anxiety down from a 10 to a 5.

"What if I cry?"

"Then you cry, so what?" She shrugs, offering you a soft smile. "That's okay. It's a wedding, you'll just blend in with everyone else who's crying."

She's got a good point.

"What if I throw up? You know I throw up when I'm really anxious."

"Then I'll just say you had some bad Chinese food. ___, I'm not letting you back out of this."

"Why nooot?" you whine, plopping down on your bed with a huff and a roll of your eyes.

"Because I'm not going to this wedding without you. And a little itty-bitty wedding does not have the power over you to make you this stressed out. Now get your ass up and go get dressed before Jungkook gets there and sees you like this."

You know you can't argue with Jihyo when she speaks in that tone. And besides, she's right, it's just a wedding. So what if your fiancé slept with one of your friends a month before your wedding? No big deal. You just have to put on your big girl panties and go.

After another twenty minutes of trying to find an excuse not to go, and ultimately failing, you force yourself to get up and take a shower, scrubbing your skin until it hurts in an attempt to distract your brain from impending doom. You work almost robotically, doing your hair and makeup on autopilot. When you open your closet to get your dress, you catch a glimpse of that pesky white tulle peeking out from behind the rest of the clothes, as if it's mocking you.

You'll have to throw that thing away one of these days.

By the time you've zipped up your dress, there's a knock at the front door. It's him. You rush to give yourself one last glance in the mirror, making sure every hair is in place before going to get the door.

"Hey, you- woah..." Jungkook's jaw goes slack, his eyes growing in size as he drinks you in. He swallows thickly, his hands fidgeting at his sides. "You look...you're...wow..."

You'd think he was overreacting if you didn't feel the same about his attire. Seeing him in his tux, with his hair styled in that way that makes his face look extra chiselled, has your face flushing and your heart racing.

"You look...wow too," you chuckle, feeling a lot lighter than you did a minute ago. "I like your suit."

"I like your dress," he murmurs, his lungs feeling like he just ran up a flight of stairs. "You're gorgeous."

You want to tell him that he's gorgeous, but instead, you roll your eyes, grab your purse and kiss an unbothered Miso goodbye before making your way out. The short trip down to his car is silent, both of you feeling some nerves, both for very different reasons.

He opens the passenger side door for you and makes his way to the driver's seat, starting the route to the venue. He puts on some music while he drives, absentmindedly tapping his fingers along the steering wheel. He can sense how busy your brain is by the way you fidget with your hands in your lap, but he isn't quite sure how to approach the matter.

"Everything okay?" he asks, quickly glancing over at you before turning his eyes back to the road.

"Mhm," you nod, staring out the window. "Weddings just make me a bit emotional."

He wouldn't call the look on your face emotional, more so anxious, but he won't call you out for it. Instead he tries to lighten the mood, stepping around the obvious tension.

"Well, you can cry on my shoulder if you want," he smiles. "Thankfully my suit is black, so no one will ever notice if you get mascara on it."

You scoff, forcing a faint smile across your lips. "Right."

He keeps glancing your way, watching you intently. He looks as if he's trying to read your thoughts, but he's not Charles Xavier and he can't do that, so he settles on making lighthearted conversation until you reach the venue.

"Y'know, I'm not the best dancer but I do hope you'll save me a dance tonight," he murmurs, subtly glancing over at you.

"Please, I have two left feet," you scoff.

"Well, I happen to have two right feet, so I guess it works out then."

The smile that tugs at the corners of your lips is too strong to fight, so you give in and let it settle across your face.

When you arrive at the wedding venue, it looks like something out of a fairytale. It's a stunning outdoor ceremony, with rows of elegant chairs for guests to be seated and decorative flower arrangements, with a few violinists seated at the entrance, waiting for their cue to begin playing. The weather is warm with a slight breeze, the seasons slowly transitioning from summer to autumn, creating just the right temperature for a wedding.

Most of the other guests are already there when the two of you arrive. You spot his friends sitting in a row behind Namjoon and Mai's family members, everyone looking their best to celebrate the happy couple. You and Jungkook make your way over, sitting next to Jihyo and Taehyung, who have apparently been flirting like horny teenagers for the past thirty minutes, according to Yoongi.

"Hey, how're you feeling?" Jihyo whispers while Jungkook and his friends make their way to the front to talk to a nervous-looking Namjoon.

"I'm good," you nod, not wanting to take away from Namjoon and Mai's big day.

She can see the slight unease on your face, but this is neither the time nor the place to do a deep dive on your personal issues, so she nods and takes your word for it. She'll speak to you about it tomorrow over a pint of ice cream and some Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

"You and Taehyung seem pretty cozy," you whisper, shooting her a little grin.

"He's so sweet," she sighs. "He brought me flowers when he came to pick me up at my apartment."

"You really like him, huh?"

She nods, smiling down at her lap. "I do, yeah...and that suit he's wearing makes me wanna suck his dick real bad."

"Jesus Christ," you mutter under your breath, looking around to make sure Namjoon and Mai's parents didn't hear that.

"What about you? Are things okay with...?" She gestures towards Jungkook with her eyes.

You look over at him, watching the way he laughs at something Hoseok said, the way his nose scrunches up and his eyes squeeze shut. He's beautiful in the late afternoon sunlight, his presence filling you with a warmth that overpowers the light autumn breeze.

"Yeah," you nod, feeling a smile start to tug at the corners of your lips as he makes his way over to take his seat next to you.

"Everything okay?" he asks, picking up on your stare.

You nod, leaning a bit closer to his side. Your smile reassures him that everything is more than okay. When you're with him, you're okay.

Jihyo watches the two of you with a soft smile on her face, picking up on the instant shift in your mood. You seem happier when he's near, your smile growing wider when he whispers in your ear to tell you that he likes your hair in this style, his fingers gently brushing a few stray strands behind your ear. Jihyo knows your feelings for him go way deeper than you'd like to admit, and when Taehyung makes a flirty comment about love being in the air, she can't agree more.

An announcement is made for everyone to take their seats, signaling that the ceremony is about to start. Everyone quiets down, the violinists getting their bows ready to begin playing the opening melody. Soon, the music starts and everyone watches as Mai's father leads her down the aisle, her dress trailing behind her with every step she takes. She looks like an angel draped in lace and tulle, her smile radiant as she walks towards the love of her life.

Your vision starts to blur with unshed tears as you glance over at the groom, watching as he struggles to keep his emotions at bay. He holds himself together as best he can when he shakes Mai's father's hand in a silent promise to take care of his daughter.

Namjoon takes one look at his bride and it's like everyone and everything else fades away. He takes her hands in his and vows to cherish her and protect her, to love her until they are both nothing but dust and bones. Mai reaches out to dry his tears, promising to love him through all of life's challenges, making a vow to be his wife now and forever.

There isn't a dry eye in sight, so you don't look out of place when the tears stream down your cheeks, putting up a good fight against the layers of setting spray plastered over your makeup. It's a hard moment for you, but you push through for Namjoon and Mai, and when the ceremony ends with a tearful kiss between the happy couple, you clap and cheer, and you wish them nothing but the best.

Everyone makes their way to the reception area after the ceremony. The marquee is breathtaking, draped in soft ivory fabrics that flutter gently in the early evening breeze, with twinkling fairy lights hanging overhead, casting a warm glow. Long tables are elegantly set throughout, each adorned with crisp white table linens, floral displays and flickering candles. As guests begin to gather inside, laughter and soft jazz music fill the air, creating a warm atmosphere that adds to the beauty of the surroundings.

You take your seat next to Jungkook, sitting at a table with Jihyo, Taehyung, Seokjin and Jisoo, and their two sons, Dohyun and Moonbin. Unfortunately, they had to leave their youngest at home with Jisoo's mom because he's a bit too young for such a long night out. Seated at the next table are Jimin, Hana, Yoongi and his date, Areum, and Hoseok and his date, Eunji, along with two of Namjoon's co-workers. Everyone mingles throughout dinner, enjoying the delicious spread of food and drinks.

"They grow up so fast," Seokjin teases. "It feels like just yesterday when Joon asked her to be his girlfriend."

"I remember him being so nervous to ask her out, spamming the group chat to let us know he was gonna do it," Jungkook chuckles.

"They make a beautiful couple," you muse quietly, looking over at Namjoon and Mai at the head table, Namjoon looking at his wife with stars in his eyes. It's the same look the man to your left gives you when you're not paying attention.

"They're gonna have the best sex on their honeymoon," Taehyung mutters, stuffing a huge wedge of roasted potato into his mouth.

"Language, Tae," Jisoo chides, trying to cover Dohyun and Moonbin's ears, even though the ten-year-old and seven-year-old have already heard and are now snickering amongst themselves.

"Honeymoon sex is the best sex," Seokjin grins smugly before taking a sip of his champagne, earning a swat from his wife.

"That's enough out of you," Jisoo grumbles, shaking her head.

"What?! It's true!" Seokjin chuckles, resting his arm over the back of her chair. "How do you think we made this little guy," he grins, reaching around her back to ruffle Dohyun's hair, earning a "Gross, dad!" from their eldest son.

"Where do you think we'll have our honeymoon?" Taehyung asks Jihyo. Normally, a woman would tell him he's crazy for making a joke like that after barely two months of flirty texts and a drunk hookup on the night they met. Jihyo, however, falls right into step alongside him.

"Maybe Italy. They have nice beaches," she smiles.

"I guess I should start practicing my Italian. All I know is ciao and spaghetti."

"Wow, you're an educator?" Seokjin scoffs.

"Hey, I teach English Lit, not Italian," he shrugs.

Jihyo laughs, making a comment about getting him into a speedo on an Italian beach, to which Taehyung responds with a joke about being The Rock's body double in Baywatch, earning a cackle from Seokjin.

"You're cute," Jihyo leans in to whisper, a smile breaking out on Taehyung's face.

"You're cute," he grins.

You watch from across the table as the two throw flirty words back and forth, clearly enjoying whatever it is the two of them have going on. They seem to pair well together. She laughs at his jokes, like, actually laughs. He seems to like making her laugh, cracking jokes just to see her reaction. It's sweet.

Dessert is served and speeches follow shortly after, some friends and family members saying a few heartfelt words. Mai's maid of honour, her sister, gives a speech about having an amazing older sister to look up to, and her father makes everyone tear up with his speech about letting go of his daughter and trusting another man to love and care for her. As the best man, Seokjin gives a particularly moving speech about watching his best friend, Namjoon, fall in love, pulling a few awww's from the guests. You hear a soft sniffle coming from your left, so you glance over at Jungkook to find him wiping his eye with his thumb, his bottom lip caught between his teeth.

"Are you crying?" you whisper, forcing down a smile.

"No, I just...the flowers are irritating my allergies," he mumbles, avoiding eye contact.

You smile, finding it hard to resist leaning over to plant a kiss to his pouty lips. If it weren't for all these people, you probably would, but you can't risk letting everyone in on the feelings you harbour for him. Still, the risk of being caught doesn't stop you from reaching out for his hand under the table and absentmindedly playing with his fingers until they end up intertwined with yours.

Once the speeches are over, the live band starts back up, soft jazz music filling the marquee. A few guests even make their way onto the dance floor with their significant others while Namjoon and Mai start making their rounds to talk to their friends and family members. Jungkook gets up from his seat, taking the opportunity to stretch his legs a bit.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom," he whispers. "I'll be right back, okay?"

You nod and watch as he walks off, occasionally greeting a few of Namjoon's relatives on the way to the bathroom. He seems to have a real way with people, Namjoon's grandmother greeting him like he's her own grandson. It's a strange feeling to see how people naturally gravitate towards him. He's charismatic in a soft-spoken, gentle kind of way. He's able to engage in conversation about basically anything. Dohyun and Moonbin call him Uncle Jungkook, the cool uncle who buys them Lego's and lets them take his cute dog on walks. He's kind, and polite, and he cries at weddings, and he radiates love. It's practically impossible not to love him, so you feel justified in your feelings when you see just how loved he is by everyone else around him.

Some of his friends make their way outside to get some fresh air, some going to get champagne at the bar area, while Jihyo gets spun around by Taehyung on the dance floor. Mai spots you sitting alone, so she makes her way over, trying not to mess up her dress when she sits down next to you.

"Hey, pretty lady," she smiles, looking even more radiant up close. "You having fun?"

"I am," you murmur, a soft smile gracing your face. "You make a beautiful bride, Mai."

Mai waves you off, playfully rolling her eyes. "Please, I cried all my makeup off."

"I think Namjoon might have cried more than you, so you're good," you tease.

She throws her head back in laughter, glancing over at her husband who seems to be having a heartfelt conversation with a few of his aunties. "Isn't it insane? I'm married to that guy."

You feel a pit start to grow in your stomach, but you smile and nod, and you make conversation to drown out the little voice in your head taunting you.

'It's all your own fault that you're not married.'

'Sunghoon was right, you prioritised your job and drove him away.'

'Jungkook won't want you when he realizes how much baggage you carry.'

"So," Mai lightly nudges your arm, pulling you out of your daze. "Where's your guy?"

The mention of Jungkook seems to soothe you. A smile threatens to break out across your face at her referring to him as your guy. Is he your guy? You want to deny it, but instead you indulge in the giddy feeling for a bit longer.

"He went to the bathroom. He should be back anytime now."

"What do you say, are you two next in line?" she teases, holding up her ring finger with a smirk on her face.

Please, as if you'd ever allow yourself to get as far as that again.

"Don't start that," you scoff, giving her a pointed look.

"Hey, I'm just saying. I saw the two of you earlier during dinner. He was practically drooling over you while you weren't looking."

"He was not."

"How long are we gonna keep doing this?" She chuckles, rolling her eyes. "You say you're just friends, then I say you're crazy because you're obviously-"

"We're obviously just two adults who get along," you shrug, feigning ignorance.

Mai watches the way you look down at your lap to avoid her eyes. She knows it's because you don't believe your own words, and she can see you clearly have more layers hiding beneath the surface.

"Look," she sighs, her tone turning softer. "I know we haven't known each other for very long, but I really like you and I think we're building a real friendship...and I can tell you might have some things holding you back from being honest with yourself."

You glance over at her, feeling naked under her gaze. She can see right through you, and you hate it. You hate that you can't run away from your baggage forever. You hate how right she is.

"___, I may not know everything and I don't mean to overstep, so feel free to correct me if I'm wrong...but I see the way you look at each other. Friends don't look at or treat one another the way you do."

You can't say that she's wrong, so you don't say anything at all. You don't know how to say what you really feel. You don't know how to explain that you're so scared of getting hurt, so you don't allow yourself to indulge in the things that could end up hurting you. You want to be honest and shout out loud that you love him, that you want to be loved by him, but you find that it's easier to love him from a distance than to risk getting your heart broken again.

"I'm sorry if I overstepped," she murmurs softly, offering you an apologetic smile.

You know she means well, and she hasn't said anything that isn't true. "No, no, it's, uhm...it's okay, Mai."

She excuses herself when Namjoon calls her over to join the conversation he's having with her parents, not leaving without a hug. She leans down and wraps her arms around your shoulders, whispering a soft, "Please, give him a chance," before walking off to join her husband.

You watch with a smile as Jihyo and Taehyung dance to an upbeat jazz song. He dips her as a grand finale, the song coming to an end with a saxophone and drum harmony. The band prepares for the next song as a female singer steps up to the mic, the opening melody of 'A love that will last' by Renee Olstead floating through the marquee. You're so caught up in watching the couples fill the dance floor, you almost don't notice the soft tap on your shoulder and the whisper of a velvety voice in your ear.

"I think you owe me a dance, Professor."

You glance up at Jungkook, your heart pounding in your ears. His hand is outstretched, palm up, waiting for yours.

"Jungkook," you breathe out a soft chuckle, as if he's crazy for even suggesting it.

"C'mon," he whispers, subtly cocking his head to the side. "One dance."

Your heart lurches at the thought of potentially embarrassing yourself. You haven't slow danced since your prom night, and even then, it was more of an awkward shuffle than anything remotely graceful, but the way he's looking at you has you nodding in resignation. "Okay...one dance..."

You hesitate for only a second before slipping your fingers into his. His grip is gentle, leading you to the dance floor with practiced ease. The music drifts through the marquee, a romantic melody wrapping around the two of you like a secret. His other hand finds the small of your back, and suddenly, you're closer than you expected. Jungkook sways with you, his movements effortless, like he's done this a million times in his head. His thumb brushes the back of your hand absentmindedly, a nervous habit or maybe something more. His gaze flickers down to you, dark eyes unreadable, but there's something tender about the way he looks at you, like you're more than just a habit he can't break, more than a friend. It's not the first time he's held you, not even the most intimate touch you've shared, but something about this moment feels so different.

"You really do look beautiful tonight," he murmurs, barely loud enough to hear over the music.

A warmth creeps up your spine. "You clean up pretty good yourself."

He smiles, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. Instead, there's something wistful in the way he looks at you, something unsaid lingering between you.

You let your head rest lightly against his chest, just for a moment, just long enough to feel the steady thrum of his heartbeat beneath the layers of his suit. You breathe in his cologne, warm and familiar, a reminder of nights tangled in sheets and whispered confessions that never quite crossed the line.

Jungkook holds you like he's afraid to let go, like if he does, you'll slip through his fingers completely. There's a weight in his chest, a truth sitting heavy on his tongue, but he swallows it down.

"I remember dancing with you at that Christmas party four years ago," you muse, your voice soft, barely above a whisper.

His face breaks out into a grin. "God, we were so drunk that night."

The night everything came to be.

You breathe out a quiet chuckle before your face melts into something softer. "It didn't feel like this though."

Jungkook chuckles, a quiet, breathy sound against your ear. "No?"

You shake your head. "This is different. Feels like it actually…means something."

It slips out before you can stop it, and for a split second, neither of you move. The words hang between you. You feel Jungkook's hold tighten, just a fraction, before he exhales slowly.

"What if it always has?"

Your heart stutters.

Jungkook doesn't look at you when he says it, his gaze fixed somewhere over your shoulder, like he's scared of what he might find in your eyes. But his hand at your waist lingers, his fingers flexing like he wants to pull you even closer, like he wants you to understand something he can't bring himself to say out loud.

You don't know how to respond, so you don't. Not yet. Instead, you let the music carry you, let yourself melt into the warmth of his embrace.

Your lack of reciprocation doesn't deter him. If anything, he holds you closer, his fingers curling into the fabric of your dress like he's memorizing the way it feels to hold you like this. Then he leans down, just enough that his lips brush your temple in the lightest of touches. He lingers for a second too long. A second that tells you everything his words can't.

And then, just like that, the song ends.

Jungkook steps back, forcing a small smile. "I should, uh, get us some drinks," he mutters, reluctantly putting space between you.

You nod, even though something inside you screams for him to stay, because for the first time, you realize that maybe you aren't the only one who's been pretending this whole time. Well, maybe he hasn't been pretending. Maybe you've just been too afraid to look a little closer, dig a little deeper. If you had, you would've noticed how brightly the truth shines in his big brown eyes.

You stand in the middle of the dance floor and watch as he walks off in the direction of the bar, disappearing into the sea of guests. You shouldn't be disappointed. You keep him at arm's length for a reason, yet that reason is starting to seem a bit hazy at the moment.

While he goes to get you some champagne and a water for himself—because he is ever the responsible driver—you take a moment to yourself, silently exiting the marquee to get some fresh air in a more secluded spot outside. The sky is illuminated by stars and twinkling lights draped throughout the garden outside, the music faintly drifting through the air in the background.

The night air is crisp against your skin, a stark contrast to the warmth of the crowded reception. You inhale deeply, letting the coolness settle in your lungs, trying to still the racing thoughts in your head. The way Jungkook held you, the way his voice sounded, gentle and sincere.

You shake your head to clear it. This isn't new. You and Jungkook have always blurred the lines, dancing on the edge of something deeper without ever taking the plunge. He's your secret, your safe indulgence. But tonight...it's different.

You exhale, absentmindedly rubbing your hands over your arms as if that will do anything to settle the nervous energy buzzing beneath your skin. He said he'd get you a drink, and you wonder what's taking him so long. Maybe he got caught up in conversation with one of his friends or Namjoon's relatives, or maybe he's-

Your thoughts are cut off when you turn around and take a quick glance toward the marquee entrance, your stomach twisting. Jungkook stands near the bar, a glass of water in one hand, a flute of champagne in the other. But he's not alone.

Hana.

She leans in just a little too close, flashing that perfectly calculated smile of hers, the kind that makes your skin crawl. Her manicured fingers brush against his forearm as she laughs at something he said, which probably wasn't funny enough to warrant such a boisterous laugh.

You try to convince yourself it doesn't mean anything, that it's just Jungkook being Jungkook—too polite, too non-confrontational, too oblivious to the way women like Hana take an inch and twist it into a mile. But the longer you watch, the harder it gets to ignore the way she leans into him, the way she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, the way she bats her lashes up at him. And the worst part is that he doesn't immediately pull away.

He doesn't flirt back. Surely not. But he doesn't shut her down either.

A bitter taste rises in your throat.

Maybe this is your fault. Maybe this is what happens when you pretend things don't matter when they do. When you are so incessant on keeping things casual, making sure nothing changes, that you take too long to acknowledge the truth staring right in your face.

Jungkook does mean something to you.

The idea of someone else wanting him makes something twist inside you, something hot and possessive and terrifyingly raw. You don’t even realize your fingers have curled into fists at your sides until Jungkook suddenly glances up, eyes sweeping the crowd as if searching for something. Or someone.

You.

The moment his gaze finds yours, something shifts. His expression softens, the corners of his lips turning up ever so slightly. Then, almost instinctively, he takes a step back from Hana, just enough to put space between them, to make his intentions clear.

Hana notices too. Her smile tightens as she follows his line of sight, her eyes narrowing when she spots you standing there. For a second, her lips part like she's about to say something, but Jungkook is already moving, leaving her behind without a second thought, heading straight for you.

Jungkook stops in front of you, holding out the flute of champagne with a faint smile. His eyes flicker over your face, searching, as if he can sense the storm brewing beneath your carefully crafted exterior.

"Thought I lost you for a second."

You force a small, hollow smile. "Well...you found me."

He studies you, eyes flickering across your face like he can see right through you. Maybe he can. So, you look away, pretending to sip your champagne even though your stomach is twisted in knots.

"Everything okay?" His voice is quiet, but it cuts through the noise in your head with ease.

You should say yes. Should flash him a smile, play it off like nothing's wrong, but the sight of Hana's hand on his arm is still burned into your mind, tangled up with memories you thought you buried long ago.

This isn't about Hana or Jungkook. It's about a different man who swore he loved you, who got down on one knee and asked you to spend forever with him, only to turn around and throw it all away.

Seven years.

You spent seven years with someone who once made you feel like the center of his world, until you weren't.

"You never made time for me."

Sunghoon's words had cut deeper than the betrayal itself, because in the end, he hadn't just broken your heart, he'd made you feel like it was your fault. Like if you had just been more for him, he wouldn't have strayed.

That is why you promised yourself that what you have with Jungkook is nothing more than convenience, that it doesn't matter if he ever falls for someone else, someone with fewer walls, someone who isn't afraid to love him the way he deserves. But standing here now, heart hammering in your chest as he watches you with quiet concern, you know with certainty that you've already broken that promise.

Jungkook stands before you, watching you with a quiet intensity. You know he's not Sunghoon, but that doesn't make it less terrifying.

You force a smile. "Yeah. Just needed some air, that's all."

Jungkook doesn't look convinced. His head tilts slightly, eyes narrowing. "You sure?"

You should deflect, should change the subject, but instead, the words slip out before you can stop them. "She likes you, you know."

Jungkook blinks, momentarily caught off guard. "Huh?"

You huff a quiet, humorless laugh, tilting your glass slightly in the direction Hana had been standing. "Hana."

Jungkook follows your gaze, then shakes his head with a scoff. "Hana likes attention."

You hum, taking a sip of champagne, but the uneasy feeling lingers. Not because you think he'd entertain her, but because you know there's nothing you can do if he ever decides to go for her instead. He's not your boyfriend. You made sure of that all by yourself.

"___, I hope you know that I'm not interested in her."

You weren't looking for reassurance, not really, but hearing him say it so plainly sends a warmth through your chest that you refuse to dwell on for too long.

You shrug, feigning indifference. "You don't have to explain yourself to me, Jungkook."

Jungkook scoffs, as if he expected the indifference. "Maybe not," he murmurs, looking over at you. "But I want to."

You let out a slow breath, trying to shake the weight of the moment, the way his words settle deep in your chest. When you glance at Jungkook, he's watching you, not with pity or expectation, just there, a steady presence.

So, you do what you always do when things get too real. You deflect.

"I don't know," you hum, tilting your head, playfully narrowing your eyes at him. "You seemed pretty into that conversation. Maybe I should let you get back to it."

Jungkook groans, tipping his head back dramatically. "Oh my God, stop."

You grin up at him. "What? I'm just saying, I don't wanna stand in the way."

"Please," he scoffs, rolling his eyes. "There's nothing to stand in the way of."

You hum, swirling the champagne in your glass. "I don't know, Jungkook. Hana's got great hair. Seems like a solid choice."

"You have great hair."

"She's pretty," you mutter, looking back at the marquee in the distance.

Jungkook scoffs. "You're gorgeous. Now what?"

You stare at him for a second, trying to fight the heat creeping up your neck. He's too good at this, throwing you off, slipping in little compliments like they mean nothing. But they mean everything and he knows it.

"You're so annoying," you murmur, taking a sip of your champagne.

Jungkook grins, shoving his hands in his pants pockets. "And yet, you keep me around."

You roll your eyes, but there's no real bite to it. "Unfortunately."

He chuckles, then nudges your arm lightly with his elbow. "C'mon, ___, admit it. You'd be lost without me."

You raise a brow. "Lost?"

"Hopeless," he teases with a shrug. "Completely, utterly hopeless."

You huff, feigning exasperation. "I survived just fine before you, y'know."

His expression softens, just a little.

"I know," he murmurs, quieter this time. "But I like it better this way."

Your fingers tighten around your glass, heart stuttering in your chest, because damn it, so do you.

A cool breeze sweeps past, and instinctively, you wrap your arms around yourself to keep warm. Jungkook notices immediately. Of course he does. Without a word, he shrugs off his suit jacket and drapes it over your shoulders, his movements fluid, effortless, like it's second nature to him.

You glance up at him with wide eyes. "Aren't you going to get cold?"

"I'll survive," he shrugs, completely unfazed.

You pull the jacket tighter around yourself, the warmth of it sinking into your skin, carrying his signature scent. "You didn't have to do that."

Jungkook gives you a look. "You know I was never going to let you stand out here freezing."

Your lips twitch. "A gentleman, huh?"

"What, you didn't think I had it in me?"

"I mean… I have seen you trip over your own feet in the hallway at work."

Jungkook groans, biting back a smile. "Okay, first of all, that was years ago. Second of all, that floor was slippery, the janitor just mopped it."

You laugh, shaking your head. "Sure it was."

Jungkook lets out an exaggerated sigh, shaking his head. "Unbelievable."

You grin, feeling lighter than you have all night. Maybe it's the warmth of his jacket, or the teasing glint in his eyes, or just the way that it's always been easy with him.

After a beat, Jungkook nudges your arm lightly. "You do look good in my jacket, though."

The comment is casual, offhanded, but there's something in his tone, something softer beneath the teasing that makes your stomach flip.

"Yeah?"

Jungkook hums, taking another sip of his water.

Your heart stumbles, but you roll your eyes, playing it cool. "Careful, Jeon. You almost sound like you're flirting with me."

"Would that be a bad thing?"

"Oh shush," you scoff, forcing down a smile.

The air feels different. The atmosphere is lighter, but charged with something else, something neither of you wants to name. Jungkook watches you, his gaze steady, thoughtful, like he's debating something in his head.

Another breeze sweeps past, and instinctively, you pull his jacket tighter around yourself. The movement makes him smile, just a little, like he finds it endearing. Then, without thinking, he reaches out. It's a small gesture, his fingers gently tugging at the lapel of his jacket, adjusting it over your shoulder, as if to make sure you're really warm enough. But the way he does it, the slow, deliberate movement, the way his fingers brush against your collarbone, sends a shiver down your spine that has nothing to do with the cold.

You glance up at him, your breath hitching. He's closer than you had realized. Close enough that you can see the way his lashes frame his dark eyes, the soft curve of his lips, the intensity in his gaze. Before you can say something about it, Jungkook moves.

Slowly.

Carefully.

Giving you everything opportunity to pull away.

He lifts a hand, fingers ghosting along your jaw, barely there, like he's afraid to break the moment. His gaze flickers to your lips, just for a second, and your breath catches in your throat.

And then he kisses you.

It's not urgent or demanding. It's careful. Considerate. Barely more than a brush of lips. It's a question, rather than a statement.

And God help you—you answer.

You let yourself sink into the feeling, let yourself feel the warmth of his lips, the steadiness of his hand on your cheek, the way everything else fades away when his lips touch yours.

It's over before you can even process it, before your mind can catch up with your heart. The night air feels cooler against your heated skin, and when you open your eyes, Jungkook is already watching you. His expression is unreadable, his breathing just the slightest bit uneven.

You swallow, your voice barely above a whisper. "What was that for?"

"I don't know," he murmurs. "Felt like the right thing to do."

It felt quite right to you too.

The rest of the evening passes in a haze of laughter and music. You make it back inside just in time for the bouquet toss, though, to your relief, you don't catch it. Taehyung looks mildly disappointed, teasing you about how he was hoping for some 'divine intervention' before Jihyo drags him away to dance.

Eventually, the celebration winds down, guests filtering out into the night. You find yourself outside again, rubbing your arms against the chill before Jungkook appears beside you, keys in hand.

"Ready to go home?" he asks, his voice low, warm.

You nod, walking back to the car.

The drive home is quiet but comfortable. Jungkook keeps one hand on the wheel, the other resting on the gear shift, fingers tapping absentmindedly. The streetlights cast golden streaks across his face, and every so often, you catch him glancing at you, like he wants to say something but keeps deciding against it.

When he pulls up in front of your apartment building, he shuts the engine off and looks over at you. It's silent, neither one of you making a move.

You hesitate for a second before reaching for the door handle. “Thanks for the ride-"

"Do you want me to walk you up?"

You meet his gaze, your heart racing. The weight of everything that happened tonight lingers between the two of you, something unspoken pressing at the edges.

"Yeah," you murmur. "I'd like that."

The elevator ride up is quiet, your pulse quickening with every passing second. When you reach your door, you fumble briefly with your keys before finally pushing it open, stepping inside. "You wanna come in for a bit?"

Jungkook leans against the doorframe, watching you. And then, after a beat, he nods and steps inside.

And just like that, you're alone together, away from the noise, away from the watchful eyes of friends and wedding guests, away from every excuse you could possibly use to avoid this moment.

You go to check on Miso, giving her some water and a treat, gently stroking her fur. She welcomes you home with a sleepy 'meow' before laying back down on her little bed in the corner of the living room. Jungkook stands in your dimly lit living room, his hands tucked into the pockets of his pants, watching you tend to Miso with an expression you can't quite decipher. There's something softer in his gaze, something almost reverent.

You swallow, suddenly hyper-aware of the way your heart is pounding. "Do you want something to drink?"

He shakes his head, lips tilting into a faint smirk. "No." He steps closer, gaze flickering over your face, then down to where his suit jacket hangs off your shoulders. "You gonna keep that?"

You clutch at the lapels instinctively. "I might."

His smirk widens. "Looks good on you."

You don’t know who moves first. Maybe it's him, maybe it's you. All you know is that one second, there's space between you, and the next, he's cupping your cheek, his thumb brushing over your skin, his lips on yours in a slow, soft kiss. It's not driven by impulse or the heat of the moment, and when Jungkook sighs against your lips, and pulls your waist closer to him, you have to break the kiss to catch your breath and steady your heartbeat.

"Do you...wanna help me out of this dress?" Your voice is almost too quiet to hear, but the smile on his face lets you know he heard you.

"It would be my pleasure," he murmurs softly, pressing a gentle kiss to the corner of your mouth.

It's as if time slows down as you lead him to your bedroom, shutting the door behind you. The dim glow from the city outside casts soft shadows across his face, highlighting the sharp angles of his jaw, the warmth in his dark eyes. And then, without another word, he leans in and kisses your lips. His hands slide up to cup your face, tilting your head just how he wants it.

You sigh against his mouth, your fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt, holding him close.

His lips move down, trailing soft kisses along your jaw, down to the sensitive spot just below your ear. You shiver, and he feels it, his smile evident against your skin.

"Still cold?" he murmurs, his breath warm against your neck.

You shake your head. "No."

Jungkook chuckles, pulling back just enough to meet your eyes. His hands slide down, fingertips brushing along the suit jacket around your shoulders. "Can I?"

You nod, letting him remove the jacket before his fingers find the zipper of your dress, dragging it down excruciatingly slowly. The fabric loosens, slipping down your frame, pooling at your feet in a whisper of silk.

He exhales sharply, eyes darkening as he drinks you in, your body wrapped in nothing but scraps of lace.

"God," he breathes out, subtly shaking his head. "You're..."

You look up at him with a soft smile. "I'm…?"

Jungkook chuckles, but it's low, almost breathless. "You know what you are."

"Say it anyway," you whisper.

His fingers brush against your jaw, tilting your face up to his. "So...so beautiful."

And then he kisses you again.

It's slow, deliberate, like he's savoring every second, every soft sigh that escapes you. His hands find your waist, pulling you flush against him, and you shiver at the feeling of his body pressed against yours.

Your fingers loosen his bow tie, then move onto the buttons of his dress shirt, opening them one by one. Jungkook watches you through hooded eyes, sighing as your lips move over his cheek, the corner of his mouth, his jaw. You push his shirt off shoulders, letting it drop to the floor, your lips moving down to his chest.

He gently slides his fingers into your hair and tilts your head back, kissing you once more. He sighs against your lips, his hands sliding down your sides to rest at your waist, his thumbs drawing slow circles against your skin. The feeling is intoxicating, he is intoxicating. The warmth of his body, the weight of his hands, the way he kisses you like he has all the time in the world.

You melt into him, your fingers splaying over his bare chest, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breath beneath your palms. His lips move against yours in a way that makes your head spin, slow and deep and hypnotic.

Jungkook keeps his lips attached to yours as he leads you backwards towards your bed, gently laying you down on the mattress, his hands holding him up to hover over you. He trails kisses down the side of your neck, sucking on a few sensitive spots before reaching behind you, his hands sliding over the fabric of your bra.

"Can I?"

You nod, cupping his cheeks to pull him back in, needing him the same way you need air to breathe.

He unclasps your bra and slowly slides the lace down your shoulders, tossing it somewhere in your room for you to find tomorrow. He trails his kisses down to your collarbones and chest, his lips grazing the skin of your breasts.

"You're so beautiful," he whispers, more to himself than to you.

You sigh, your fingers sliding into his hair as he swirls his tongue around a nipple, wrapping his lips around it to suck. He does the same thing to the other nipple, his lips pressing tender kisses to your breasts.

He kisses down your stomach, smiling against your skin as you spread your legs for him, your sighs growing needier.

He lets his fingers trail up your inner thighs, making their way up to your hips, pulling the soft lace away from your skin. He looks up at you, his eyes meeting yours, his fingers toying with the sides of your panties.

"Can I take these off?" he asks softly, pressing a gentle kiss right above the waistband, smiling as you whimper a breathy 'yes'.

He sits up and hooks a finger into either side of your panties, slowly dragging the fabric down your legs. His gaze is soft and appreciative as he takes in the sight of you bare and spread out for him.

His eyes move from your core to your face, his tongue peeking out to lick his lips as he looks into your eyes. He slowly trails a hand up your inner thigh, his fingers trailing through your wet folds. "God, you're so pretty," he sighs, his cock twitching in his pants.

You let out a soft gasp as he leans down to press a few feather-light kisses to your folds, the streetlights shining through the blinds, reflecting in his brown eyes.

He presses a kiss to your clit, his tongue peeking out to get a taste, and it's as if a switch goes off in his brain, his hands gripping your thighs to hold them open as his tongue traces along your pussy.

You moan, your back arching off the bed as he licks a wide stripe from your entrance to your clit, swirling his tongue to turn you into a moaning mess. You reach down to grab hold of his hair, not to tug, just to ground yourself. Your legs spread wider as he wraps his lips around your clit, sucking gently before going back to long, determined licks.

"That feels...so good," you breathe out, glancing down at him to find his eyes on you, looking at you like he wants to make the most of this moment, the passion evident in his gaze.

He lets out a soft moan against you, his tongue and lips working in perfect rhythm to pleasure you. He can't get enough of your taste, looking like he's in a state of ecstasy. He can feel you trembling beneath his hands, your body responding to every lick and nibble.

He worships you with his mouth, taking his time, his tongue moving in circles, his hands holding you in place against his mouth. He can’t keep himself from grinding against the bed, feeling like he might explode from his pent up desire.

"Just like that," you moan, your body writhing beneath him, your back arching. "D-Don't stop..."

He can practically feel how close you are to your climax and it only spurs him on. His tongue laps through your folds before focusing solely on your clit, his fingers digging into your skin as he holds your thighs over his shoulders, preventing you from pulling away.

You hold his head in place, your muscles trembling, your moans growing louder as you get closer to the edge.

You gasp, your walls contracting repeatedly, your eyes squeezing shut as the pleasure starts to consume you whole. "'m gonna cum...!"

He keeps his pace, pushing your knees up to your chest to give him better access.

In a matter of seconds, your muscles completely tense up as you cum on his tongue, your moans bouncing off of your bedroom walls. He continues to slowly lick and kiss your clit until you can't take anymore.

His lips trail a slow path up your body, leaving a searing warmth in their wake. His breath is hot against your collarbone, his nose brushing against the side of your jaw before finally capturing your lips in a deep, unhurried kiss, letting you taste yourself on his tongue.

"You taste like heaven," he whispers against your lips.

A bashful smile finds its way onto your face, your cheeks flushed. Your breath is still shaky, your body thrumming with heat as he kisses you. Your fingers weave into his hair, tugging him closer, needing more. You can still feel the remnants of your high, but it's not enough.

Your hands trail down his body to start unbuttoning his pants. "Let me return the favour," you whisper in his ear, slowly pulling down his zipper.

He groans as your hand slides into the front of his boxers, gently massaging his cock, his body shuddering. His eyes close involuntarily at the feeling of your hand on him, his brain short-circuiting.

Jungkook catches your wrist before you can go any further. His grip is gentle, his dark eyes locking onto yours with something deep and unspoken. He shakes his head, a small, almost nervous smile playing at his lips.

"Not tonight."

You furrow your eyebrows in confusion. "Why not?"

Jungkook exhales slowly, his thumb brushing over the inside of your wrist. His gaze softens even more, and when he speaks, his voice is quieter, almost shy.

"Because I want to make love to you, ___."

Your breath catches in your chest. He wants to make love. The two of you have never done that before. You've never allowed it. You should correct him. You should remind him of the rules, of the boundaries you set.

But when he looks at you like that, with his heart in his eyes, the words die in your throat.

Your voice is a fragile whisper, your heart beating in your ears. "Okay."

He drags the tip of his nose along your cheek, lips brushing over your skin. "Are you sure?"

You nod, breathless.

"Need to hear you say it, baby."

The endearment sends heat through your body.

"I'm sure."

He kisses your lips for the hundredth time, pouring all of his feelings into you, like he's been waiting for this moment for far too long.

You help him out of his pants and boxers, letting out a soft giggle when his foot almost gets caught in the pant leg, his body moving before his brain can process what's happening.

He sits back to get a full view of your body laid out for him, his eyes trailing from your face, down to your breasts, and lastly, your sopping pussy. He groans as he wraps his hand around his cock, giving it some slow strokes, his fist squeezing harshly. The tip has already started leaking a pearl of precum, the shaft already fully erect.

He hovers over you, his lips curling against your skin as he reaches down, guiding the head to your entrance. He pushes in slowly, filling you inch by inch, stretching you in the most delicious way.

Sinking into you feels like coming home.

Jungkook's face twists in pleasure, his breath ragged, his bottom lip caught between his teeth. He holds himself up on his forearm while his free hand slides down your body to hook your leg around his hip.

He groans, his forehead falling to your shoulder. "Fuck, you feel so good," he breathes.

You slide your hands around him to hold onto his back, pulling him closer, needing him as close as possible.

The sound of your moans send shivers down his spine. He moves slowly, deeply, his hips rolling into your with deliberate, passionate strokes, sending fire up your spine. His fingers dig into the skin of your thigh, letting out a breathless whimper as he sinks in as deep as he can possibly go.

Your breath stutters, your fingers clutching at his back, feeling his muscles contract under his skin.

Jungkook kisses the junction between your neck and shoulder, his hips rolling at a practiced, steady pace. "You take me so well, baby...this pussy feels so good wrapped around me..." His voice is low, breathy. "You're so fucking perfect."

Your nails dig into his skin, your eyes squeezing shut as your emotions start welling up, a harsh lump growing in your throat.

Jungkook lifts his head, cupping your face, his eyes dark and tender as they search yours. "Look at me, ___."

You do, and it almost steals the air from your lungs, his eyes boring into yours, showing you all the feelings he's harboured for you since the day he met you.

Your hands slide up to cup his jaw, pulling his face closer. "Jungkook…"

"I know, baby," he whispers, pressing soft, tender pecks to your lips, his hips rolling with a fierce intensity. "I've got you. Always."

He presses his lips to your cheek, then your nose, then your forehead. "You're everything, ___."

The lump in your throat grows heavier, but you force it down, willing yourself not to break down completely. Instead, you wrap your arms around his neck and allow yourself to get lost in him, giving yourself over to him in a way you never have before.

You want to tell him you love him.

Those three words sit heavily on your tongue, but you can't get yourself to say them. Not now, when your emotions are this high, when you're still trembling beneath him.

It's too real, and if it's real, it has the power to ruin you.

You show him with your body instead of your words, looking up into his eyes, pulling him impossibly close. Your fingers tangle in his hair, your lips seeking his in a slow, lingering kiss. You pour everything into it, every unspoken word, every confession you long to make.

Jungkook kisses you back just as deeply, his hands framing your face, his touch gentle, like he already knows. Like he's willing to wait.

His thrusts grow sloppier as the pleasure builds. Your hands grip his shoulders, your chest heaving, every thrust of his hips pushing you closer to cumming. His cock throbs inside you, but he's determined to make you cum before he does.

"Come on," Jungkook whispers against your lips, his voice thick with lust. "Let go for me, baby. You can do it. I'm...I'm right here."

His words send a shiver down your spine, feeling the familiar coil start to tighten in your stomach.

"I...I can't..." you gasp, the intensity of it feeling overwhelming.

"Yes, you can, sweetheart," he murmurs, his voice low and soothing. "Let it happen. I've got you, baby, I promise."

The pressure inside you finally bursts, and you're lost in the feeling of it, consumed by the overwhelming pleasure of it all. With a soft, breathless cry, your body finally gives in, your climax surging through you in waves, your entire body trembling as you cling to him.

Jungkook isn't far behind. He groans low in his chest, his cum painting your walls in thick white ropes, his face buried into the crook of your neck as he rides out his high.

He presses a soft kiss to your skin, his breath shallow. "I'm not going anywhere," he murmurs against your neck, his arms wrapping around you in a comforting embrace.

Your body shakes from the aftermath, your heart pounding in your chest, but for the first time in a long time, you don't feel empty. You don't feel alone. You just feel him all around you; all consuming.

He reluctantly parts from you to freshen up in the bathroom, coming back with a warm, wet washcloth to clean you off, making sure you're fully taken care of before making his way back to bed.

The room grows quiet, save for the soft hum of the city outside and the sound of your slowed, steady breathing. The warmth of Jungkook's body lingers between your sheets, his arm draped across your waist as he holds you close, his fingers tracing absentminded patterns against your stomach.

Neither of you speaks for a while, simply existing in the comfort of each other's presence. Your legs are tangled beneath the sheets, your bare skin still pressed together, and there's an intimacy in it that feels deeper than anything words could convey.

Jungkook sighs, shifting slightly to press a lazy kiss to your shoulder. "Are you okay?" His voice is softer now, like he's afraid of breaking whatever fragile thing hangs between you.

You nod against the pillow, your fingers grazing along the length of his arm. "I'm okay."

He hums in contentment, pulling you even closer, his lips brushing against your temple. "Good."

You should probably say more, clarify what tonight was, what it meant, but you can't bring yourself to speak. You simply close your eyes and let yourself melt into his warmth as he spoons you.

Jungkook shifts, resting his chin atop your head, his voice thick with sleep when he murmurs, "Stay here."

You scoff faintly. "I live here."

He chuckles, his chest vibrating against your back. "You know what I mean."

Your fingers find his, lacing together beneath the sheets, and as sleep starts to pull you under, you feel the softest brush of his lips against your hair.

"Goodnight, baby..."

Before you can think twice about how un-casual all of this is, before you can let yourself spiral, you whisper back, "Goodnight, Jungkook."

You wake up tangled in soft sheets and him, his arm draped over your waist, his breath steady against the nape of your neck. The early light filters through your window, casting a golden glow over the room.

For a while, you don't move. You just listen to the birds chirping outside and the steady rhythm of his breathing. Then, as if sensing you're awake, Jungkook stirs. His arm tightens around you, his lips brushing lazily against your bare shoulder.

"Morning," he murmurs, his voice thick with sleep.

You smile, stretching your limbs. "Morning."

He hums, nuzzling into your skin, his voice muffled. "What time is it?"

You glance at the alarm clock on your nightstand. "Almost nine."

Jungkook groans dramatically, tightening his hold on you. "Too early."

You laugh, trying—and failing—to wiggle away. "It's not that early."

"It is." His grip loosens just enough for you to turn and face him. His hair is a mess, his eyes still heavy with sleep, but he looks at you like you're the most interesting thing in the world.

"You're staring," you point out, raising an eyebrow.

Jungkook smiles sleepily. "Can you blame me?"

Your face heats, and you roll your eyes. "Shut up."

He grins, reaching out to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear. "Never."

The warmth between you lingers as you stay in bed a little longer, exchanging lazy kisses, stealing moments that feel dangerously intimate. It's only when your stomach growls loudly that Jungkook finally pulls away, letting out a huff of laughter.

"Is that your way of asking for breakfast in bed?" he teases.

"I wish," you mumble. "Unfortunately, my fridge is basically empty. I was supposed to go grocery shopping today."

Jungkook sits up, stretching his arms over his head before leaning back on his hands, the sheets pooling around his waist. "Then let's go grocery shopping."

You blink up at him. "You want to come with me to the grocery store?"

"Of course," he shrugs, grinning. "What kind of man would I be if I let you carry all those bags by yourself?"

Is going grocery shopping something you should do together if you want to maintain anything remnants of boundaries? Probably not.

"What would you even wear? A tux?" you chuckle.

"I may or may not have a change of clothes in my trunk," he mumbles, giving you an almost guilty grin. "Y'know, just in case I end up spending the night at your place."

Oh well.

You laugh, shaking your head. "Fine. But you're driving."

The grocery store is surprisingly busy for a late Sunday morning, but Jungkook keeps your mood up. You watch, amused, as he inspects the produce with an intensity that makes it seem like he's solving a crime. He picks up a bell pepper and turns it over in his hands, then glances over at you.

"This is a good one," he declares.

You snort. "Oh, are you an expert?"

Jungkook nods solemnly. "Of course. I have a very refined eye for vegetables."

You shake your head, taking the pepper from him and tossing it into the cart. "Okay, vegetable connoisseur. What about fruit?"

His expression turns serious. "The fruit requires even greater precision." He steps toward the apples, picking one up and holding it to the light like a jeweler inspecting a diamond.

You bite your lip, trying not to laugh. "And? What's the verdict?"

He nods once. "Acceptable."

You chuckle as you grab a few more apples and place them in a bag. "You're ridiculous."

"Ridiculously helpful you mean,” he corrects, grinning.

It's easy, this whole thing. You browse the aisles while be pushes the cart, occasionally sneaking snacks into it when you're not looking. You catch him dropping a bag of chips in and you raise an eyebrow.

"I need those?"

"Absolutely," he nods, not missing a beat.

You roll your eyes but let him put the bag in the cart. It's for him, but you'll buy it as a way to have something that belongs to him in your apartment.

"Shit, I forgot to get my cereal," you sigh, already on the other side of the store. "Can you go and get it, please? It's in aisle six."

"Sure," he nods, handing you the cart.

"Thank you," you smile, watching him walk off.

You're still smiling when you turn the corner, your heart light from the previous few hours with Jungkook. Then a voice pulls you out of your little love bubble.

"Oh my god, ___?"

You barely have time to react before you're being pulled into a hug, the nostalgic scent of her floral perfume washing over you.

"Sian?" you gasp in surprise, pulling back to get a better look at your old high school friend.

"It's been forever!" she exclaims, her eyes wide as she takes you in. "I almost didn't recognize you, it's been so long. Look at you! You look good!”

You laugh, nodding along. "I could say the same about you. How have you been?"

"I'm doing well," she smiles, resting her hand on her hip. "I recently landed this great job at a new law firm. What about you?"

"I'm a professor at Yonsei University. I teach political science."

"I guess we're really grown ups now," she laughs.

You chuckle along, feeling the truth in her words. "How are things with Minho?"

Her smile falters for a fraction of a second, waving a dismissive hand. "Oh, Minho and I broke up. Turns out he's just like every other guy," she scoffs, "Couldn't keep it in his pants."

Your stomach twists. "Oh, Sian....I'm so sorry."

She sighs, crossing her arms. "Don't be. Honestly, I should've seen it coming. I guess all men are the same in the end, aren't they?"

The words hit you like a punch to the gut.

You don't know what to say, so you offer a small, noncommittal hum.

Sian doesn't seem to notice your discomfort. She keeps going, rolling her eyes. "It's whatever. At least I found out before we got engaged. We were close to it but I guess I dodged a bullet."

Then, almost as an afterthought, she adds, "Speaking of which, have you heard? Apparently Sunghoon got married a few months ago."

The words hit you like a slap to the face. Your chest tightens, and for a moment, you forget how to breathe.

Sian doesn't notice. She keeps talking, oblivious to the way your body has suddenly gone rigid.

"Yeah, crazy, right? I heard his wife is pregnant, too. Due in a few months, I think." She shakes her head. "Guess he finally got his act together. Good for them, I suppose."

Your fingers tighten around the shopping cart.

Your ex-fiancé, the man who cheated on you and then blamed you for it, is married. He has a wife. A baby on the way. And yet, here you are, still hesitating, still doubting.

He cheated on you. But he's faithful to her. Was it you? Were you the problem all along?

You force a small laugh at something Sian says, nodding absentmindedly, but your mind has already started spiraling.

Jungkook returns just as you wrap up your conversation, a box of your favourite cereal in hand. He gives Sian a polite nod before turning to you, grinning.

"Miss me?" he teases, but the moment he sees your face, his smile falters. "Hey...what's wrong?"

You shake your head, forcing a tight-lipped smile. "Nothing. Just caught up with an old friend."

Jungkook doesn't buy it. His gaze searches yours, his brows furrowing. "You sure? You seem-"

"I said it's nothing, Jungkook," you snap before you can stop yourself, feeling guilty almost instantly.

His lips press together, the hurt flickering across his face so quickly you almost miss it.

He doesn’t push. He never does. He just nods slowly, letting the silence settle between you like an invisible wall.

"We should go," you mutter softly, already turning the cart toward the checkout without looking back.

The drive home is silent.

Jungkook doesn't say anything, but you feel his eyes flicking over at you every so often, like he's waiting for you to speak. To tell him what's wrong.

You don't.

Your thoughts have started racing and they just won't stop. You think about your past, about the seven years you wasted on a man who made you believe you weren't enough for him to remain faithful. And now he has a wife. A baby on the way. A family.

And here you are, falling into the same pattern.

Falling for Jungkook.

He's not Sunghoon, you know that, but what happens when he gets tired of waiting for you to let him in? What happens when you eventually realize you can't give him what he deserves?

It would be easier to end it now.

Before either of you get hurt.

Before you lose yourself in him completely.

The silence stretches on when you get back to your apartment. Jungkook carefully sets the grocery bags on the counter, his movements slow and calculated. He glances at you, his brows knitting together in quiet concern, but he still doesn't push, not yet.

Instead, he tries a softer approach.

"Hey." His voice is gentle, coaxing. "Wanna help me put these away?"

You should. You should do something, say something, but you can't bring yourself to move. Your arms stay crossed over your chest, your body stiff, your mind in a haze.

Jungkook watches you for a moment before sighing lightly. "Alright then," he murmurs, unpacking the bags himself.

The tension is unbearable.

He packs your groceries away, waiting for you to speak. When the silence becomes too much for him, he takes the plunge.

Jungkook exhales slowly. "___."

Your stomach tightens at the sound of your name on his lips.

"Talk to me." His voice is gentle, patient. "Please."

"There's nothing to talk about." Your voice is flat.

Jungkook tilts his head, studying you carefully. "Really? Because you've been completely silent since we left the store, barely looked at me, haven't said a word." He pauses. "That doesn't seem like nothing to me."

You press your lips together, shifting on your feet. "I just have a lot on my mind."

"Okay." He nods slowly. "Then tell me and maybe I can help-"

You sigh. "Jungkook, just drop it."

He pauses.

"I just..." He pauses, looking for the right words to say. "I can tell you're upset and...I don't like seeing you like this."

The weight of his concern presses down on your chest, suffocating. You can't do this right now.

"I said I'm fine." Your voice comes out sharper than intended.

Jungkook lets out a short, humorless laugh. "You always say that."

"Why do you even care so much?"

The words hit him like a slap.

Jungkook blinks at you, taken aback by your sudden hostility. But then, something shifts in his expression, his heart physically breaking in his chest. His hands clench at his sides as he exhales through his nose.

And then, in a voice so quiet it almost doesn't reach you—

"Because I love you."

Your heart stops. Your breath stutters. Your pulse pounds violently in your ears.

Jungkook swallows, stepping closer, his gaze never leaving yours, practicing laying his entire soul at your feet. His eyes are glossy, his voice thick. "I love you, ___."

It's not loud. Not dramatic. Just honest.

And it terrifies you.

Jungkook takes a step closer, his eyes burning into yours. "I have loved you for such a long time...and I don't care if you try to push me away, or if you pretend like this is just sex, or if you act like what we have isn't real.” His voice wavers slightly, but his gaze doesn't. "Because I know it is."

Your heart pounds violently against your ribs.

You want to believe him. But the ugly, gnawing voice in your head tells you it's only a matter of time before he realizes you're not enough.

"You don’t love me," you whisper, your eyes stinging with unshed tears. "You think you do, but you don't."

His brows draw together, his face crumpling. "How can you say that?"

You swallow, blinking back the tears in your eyes. "Because you don't even know me, Jungkook."

His face twists, letting out a bitter scoff. "That's bullshit."

"Is it?" You laugh, but it's hollow and humourless. "You only know the parts of me I let you see! The nice parts. The parts that don't scare you away." Your voice wavers. "But the rest? The ugly, damaged parts? You don't know those. That's the real me, Jungkook. You don't love her."

Jungkook’s chest rises and falls unevenly.

"Then let me. Let me know you...all of you. Let me love the good parts and the bad and everything in between. Let me love you when you're messy and broken, and on the days when you feel like you can't get out of bed. Fuck, I wanna be with you, ___. I want all of you, not just the good parts. I want the pointless fights and the makeup sex after. I want the grocery runs when we run out of your favourite cereal. I wanna drive to work in the same car and then come home and have dinner together. I wanna slow dance with you in the middle of the night in the kitchen with the refrigerator light shining over us. I wanna cuddle and hold your hand in public and tell everyone that you're my girlfriend, because for fuck's sake, ___, I love you."

He's almost breathless by the time he gets it all out.

"Please...give me the chance to love you...please."

His words leave you utterly and completely speechless. You want to allow yourself to be loved by him, but your brain won't allow you to. The thought of experiencing all of that with him and then having it inevitably ripped away is what stops you from telling him you love him too.

"Jungkook...I can't...."

"Why not?"

Because you're terrified. Because Sunghoon made the same promises and still broke them. Because you know that once Jungkook sees the worst of you, he'll leave and it'll hurt, probably worse than it did with Sunghoon.

"I just can't, okay?!" Your voice grows softer. "I can't. You'll regret it."

Jungkook exhales sharply, raking a hand through his hair. "God, why won't you let yourself be loved?"

You've asked yourself that question about a million times before.

Your hands tremble at your sides, your eyes burning, your body screaming at you to run. Then you do the only thing you know how to. You push him away and hurt him before he can hurt you.

"This was never supposed to be anything more than sex," you whisper.

Jungkook stills.

"That's all this ever was, Jungkook."

Jungkook lets out a shaky scoff, but his voice cracks. "You don't mean that."

"I do." You force the words out, your voice shaking.

"Tell me you don't love me back." He lifts his gaze to meet yours, and your breath stutters at the sheer heartbreak in his eyes. "Tell me you feel nothing for me. That this," he gestures between you, "Was never more than just sex to you."

The words are on the tip of your tongue.

Tell him.

Make it easier for him to walk away.

But the truth is lodged so deep in your throat, it physically hurts. And Jungkook sees it.

His face hardens, his jaw clenching. "That's what I thought."

You have no defence, so all you can do is resort back to shutting him out. Literally.

"Just go, Jungkook. It'll just be better for both of us in the long run."

"So that's it? You're just gonna throw this all away?"

You don't respond, looking down at the ground.

His face remains strong, even as the tears begin to fall down his cheeks, and you know you're not strong enough to look at him.

He nods in resignation and silently takes a step back, his sadness written across his face. Then another step. And then he turns to get his phone and his keys and walk to the front door.

Your chest constricts. You should say something. Stop him. Tell him the truth.

But you don't. It'll just be easier this way.

It has to be.

Jungkook turns his head to look back at you, his hand on the door handle, waiting for you to stop him and tell him that you love him. But you don't.

His lips start to part, like he wants to argue, like he wants to fight for you. But he doesn't. He doesn't have it in him anymore.

"I hope one day you'll be able to love yourself the way I love you."

He walks out without another glance back, the door shutting behind him. The second he's gone, you shatter.

It's like your body has locked up, frozen in place as the weight of everything crashes down all at once. Your breath shudders, coming in uneven gasps, your chest rising and falling in jagged movements.

And then, your knees buckle. You sink to the floor, pressing the heels of your hands against your eyes, as if that will somehow stop the flood of tears spilling down your cheeks.

Jungkook is gone.

You did this. You pushed him away. That's what you do. You get in your head and sabotage everything good in your life.

A sob rips through you, your shoulders shaking as you fold in on yourself. You don't know how long you stay like that, curled up on the floor, drowning in your own sorrow. Time feels meaningless when all you can hear is Jungkook's voice echoing in your head, over and over again.

He looked so wounded when he told you he loved you. So open and vulnerable. And what did you do? You shut him out. You let your own fear win. Because that's all you are now, a shell of the person you used to be. Afraid and untrusting.

Sunghoon made sure of that.

The memory of him slams into you with brutal force. His voice, his touch, the way he used to hold you at night and tell you he loved you, promising you a lifetime, only to go and stick his dick in another woman.

"I had no choice, ___. You were never around. You put everything and everyone before me."

"I needed someone who actually made me feel like a man."

"You did this to us."

His words haunt you. They never stopped haunting you, no matter how hard you try to run from them. And now, as you sit here, crying on your kitchen floor, you realize that you've been running ever since.

Every step you've taken since that night you caught him has been in fear of being that girl again. The one who gives too much of herself, the one who isn't enough, the one who ends up getting traded in.

That voice in your head tells you that Jungkook would do the same, eventually.

Maybe not today.

Maybe not tomorrow.

But one day.

One day, he'd wake up and realize you aren't worth it.

You thought that if you ended it before he got the chance to see how damaged you really are, that would make it hurt less. And yet, the look on his face will forever be engraved in your brain, taunting you, reminding you of the pain you've caused him.

The sobs come harder, your entire body shaking until you can barely breathe. You press your forehead to your knees, squeezing your eyes shut.

And then you feel it, a soft nudge against your leg.

You glance down to see Miso weaving between your ankles, her big eyes looking up at you with confusion and concern. She meows softly, rubbing her head against your shin, as if she can sense that something is wrong.

A broken sob escapes your lips as you scoop her up into your arms. She doesn’t resist, only tucks herself into your chest, her purring serving as a soothing vibration against your skin.

You bury your face into her fur, fresh tears spilling over. "I'm okay, baby," you whisper, though your voice cracks with the weight of the lie. She just stays curled against you, warm and steady, like she's determined to absorb every ounce of your sadness.

You carry her to the couch, curling up with her in your lap, absentmindedly running your fingers through her soft fur. The apartment still smells like Jungkook, his cologne, his warmth, and it only makes the ache in your chest worse.

You don't know how to fix this. You don't even know if you can. But one thing is painfully, devastatingly clear.

You broke two hearts today.

< Part 5 || Part 6.5 >

206 notes · View notes