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Mom found this while she was cleaning up some papers from who-knows-where; I told her it was the kind of thing that would do numbers on the internet, and she told me to go ahead and post it. Transcript follows:

Two Kittens If you were a kitten, how would you play? Sneak up, pounce! Then run away! If I was another, what would I do? Roll over, jump up! Then, chase after you! If we were two kittens, how would it end? I got you, I caught you! Now, please be my friend. by Beth Bylander

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I really wanted to draw at least something for Swordtember hehe, ladies with swords are always fun to draw c:.

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being alone can be addicting once u realize how peaceful it is

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“man who flirts with or has sex with many women” = “womanizer” is actually a pretty misogynist concept and i’m real, real tired of it.

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Have A Nice Day!

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My inner dragon, four years, 9 sourcebooks, 13 shelves/drawers of minis, 27 dragon statues and 579 sets of dice later: *rumbles contentedly*

My inner goblin: *eyeing the box set of 5th edition D&D books*

Me: “yes it’s very pretty and I know you want to DM real bad but you’ve been buying yourself a lot of stuff lately, maybe just chill on the spending for a bit?”

My inner goblin: *eyes glittering* “SHINYY”

Me: “No. Move that to your wishlist and MAYBE we’ll buy it if it goes on a big sale. You literally have no friends who live close enough to play D&D anyway”

My inner goblin: *looking at dice sets to put in the cart with the book set and drooling*

Me: “YOU ALREADY OWN MULTIPLE SETS OF DICE THAT YOU’VE NEVER USED BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOBODY TO PLAY WITH DON’T ADD MORE- Stop that-  stop - stopit don’t put that in the cart - put it back. PUT IT BACK-”

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You show up for your first day at Copyright-Free Magic School. As you're going through orientation, you're informed that all new students get a school-assigned familiar that they are responsible for housing and maintaining. The staff member assures you that your assigned familiar is appropriately chosen and reflects you in some way.

Spin this to find out yours. (Remember, you are responsible for maintaining this familiar in your dorm room.)

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If that doesn't have potential for some fairytale nonsense, I don't know what does.

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Halsin appreciation post 4/?

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I mean, that’s what I assume happened anyway ~ 2.6.2018

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hey writers we have to talk.

if you've read any romance or fanfic in the past twenty years (i know you have), you know that there are a certain number of scents associated with hot dudes. you can probably recite the list of Things Men in Fic smell like in your sleep: leather, black pepper, pine, sandalwood, "something uniquely him", clean sweat, and if the character has ever fucking been within 50 yards of a firearm, something called "cordite".

here's the thing.

NO ONE SMELLS LIKE CORDITE.

cordite was a highly specific type of smokeless gunpowder developed in the 1890s by england specifically and used mostly in wwi.

if your good-smelling guy is not (a) english (b) using a very specific type of british rifle (c) dying in a trench in flanders, he does not smell like cordite. technically even if he does meet all those conditions he still doesn't smell like cordite because he smells like trenchfoot.

the point is, cordite is so far from universal that no one but the most hardcore gun nerds give a single shit about it. making your Sexy Hero smell like cordite is like naming a cassette-only bootleg live recording from the 1970s as your favorite grateful dead album. everyone at the party hates you immediately and knows you're doing it for clout. also, it's just factually... wrong. please stop. i know everyone else is doing it, but you can do the right thing here, i believe in you.

so what do people who are using guns smell like?

well if your story is set before the late 1880s, the smell of a fired gun is black powder, which, unfortunately, smells like seventeen flatulent cows have been shoved in a tire factory. trust me, you do not want your Hot Dude to smell like black powder. it's b a d.

if your story is set after the late 1880s, guns are using some variety of modern 'smokeless' powder - which speaking broadly doesn't really have a ton of scent when used. it does have some, but it's sort of non-descript: the best way i can describe it is the sweet, ozone, hot-plate smell of popping your car hood with a warm engine.

people who use guns a lot don't smell like fired guns all the time anyway, so while those scents might work in a fight scene, they're not realistic all the time. but there are some things that your Sexy Shootist will smell like basically 24/7 and that's metal and gun oil. metal you can go and sniff (i recommend non-stainless steel), but if you want a reference, most gun oils have a sharp, organic smell that's not dissimilar to canola oil but muskier and with a tang overtop. it's not unlikely leather is in the mix as well due to routine handling of leather equipment and gear. modern gear also tends to have a certain smell although it varies by production country and storage conditions - lots of opportunities there.

in conclusion: gunslingers and hired killers and military folks can be sexy and smell great on page, but i am begging you not to say "cordite" when you mean "gunpowder" ever again. we can do this. we are writers and therefore pedants. i believe in us!

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jeff gets a pass for real but so, so many male writers. do not.

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Art by Essi Välimäki

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