#i feel like im going insane idk why this is happening
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bacchuschucklefuck · 1 day ago
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caps from comic Im doing
#not art yet. sorta#yeah that's one piece#outing myself this year as a sanji enjoyer#idk what compelled me to come back here (that's a lie I know 100% and it's haterism) but I did finally sit down and put down#this idea I've sat on for a Long time. bc I think I just. finally feel ready for it#or rather. both it and myself have been worn down and moulded enough by just. time passing. to be able to sit with each other in peace#but yeah I'm now neck deep in this (almost halfway thru inking!!) and Im learning a Lot#whatever u say abt one piece oda is a Phenomenal comic artist. one piece art-wise is dense on a level that makes me feel insane#like you barely see more than one type of screentone used and it's mostly to separate planes. its Just Ink. its fucked up#and drawing this comic is forcing me to show up on my a-game on a craft level as well. I love so much a Large part of it so far#comic is good guys. did u guys know that has anyone said this before#but yeah this one will! probably get posted to my main blog when the posting version is done. which is why I said in the prev ask#that the spheres might intersect soon lol#Im aware this is a stupid way to go about it if u look at it from a marketing/advertising angle. but thats not what Im here for#Im showing u cool bugs I made basically. and when the exhibit happens its gonna have mostly nothing to do with this#but yeah. if u see a comic with these caps in it in the future u will Know#otherwise we keep up kayfabe yeah? for fun. for comfort
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cinnamon-grump · 1 year ago
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Ok so i have a question about Spotify,, if anyone else has noticed this problem pls let me know
I’m admittedly obsessive about music so I noticed right away when there was “new” Kajagoogoo singles…. That were blatantly NOT kajagoogoo. Nobody ever said anything, band clearly didn’t reform.. one day there were just new singles. All (5? I think?) songs were instrumental and vague, but very clearly not even the same style or vibe. It was removed within a month each time, but this has happened at least 3 times now.
My question is… has this been happening a lot? Or is it just someone fucking around with Kajagoogoo specifically?? And if so.. wtf? Lol
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thegreatyin · 6 months ago
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this nemesis ambition started out a little slow but I am getting closer to finding that bastard who killed my wife, and I’ll not rest a minute now that im far closer to on his trail
sorry got in character for a second
Anyways fun ambition so far very fucked up though
congratulations on joining the murder club anon!!!! depending on who you ask the name refers to either people who have murdered or people who have witnessed murder. usually both. actually extremely often both. it's a swell time you'll feel right at home (don't mind our collective skyglass knife collection in the back)
#im still not far into nemesis personally but im very much enjoying it#honestly in a weird way it feels like it's moving faster than HD did. which. is funny bc nemesis is like The gated behind item grinds quest#idk. HD was a fun slowburn where we adventured around gathering our rogues gallery before the action kicked in#nemesis on the other hand feels like im picking up halfway through a batman serial#fallen london#ask#it's WAY more fucked up right off the bat than HD was. honestly ive thought abt red honey for ages. that's so fucked up#and we LEAD with that?? Okay#definitely a horrors-filled ambition befitting caeru (the guy who's constantly going through horrors)#it really encourages you to get fucked up and freaky and in ur character's headspace at basically every step along the way#i only have HD to compare it too but HD was like. a lot more interpretative in comparison? at least to me. that's what it felt like#and i adore HD for that dont get me wrong here#HD just also waited until like. halfway through before it asked what the scoundrel actually Wanted out of its heart's desire#nemesis in comparison is right off the bat who died? who are you mourning? anguish. justice. there must be vengeance.#it's a delightfully different vibe!! i like it!!!#oh god sorry anon im doing the classic yin talking way too much in the tags thing again#i havent had much excuse to talk abt nemesis and what i think of it so far and of course its rp effects on caeru#but i do have a handful of thoughts on it#it's good. im liking it so far. it's starting very strong if nothing else. and i have no spoiler knowledge of what happens in the future#beyond the choice between rewards at the very end#and im SO curious how we'll get to that point. what horrors will we adventure through next? off we go to find out!#it's biggest glaring weakness so far is how horrendously grindy it is. and like. ive been warned and done my research ahead of time#im doing it on the same account im seeking. i knew what i was getting into. but also gots damn.#in comparison HD's 5-card lodgings and dreamgate feel like footnotes#anyway while im already way too deep into rambling did you know the honey trip gives you fate?? insane. why does it do that. hilarious even
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r0zzk1ll · 4 months ago
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"this man, is weird.. CRAZY weird.." "he was always very bright.."
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#i think abt this soo often u have no idea#no one understands them like i do.. sighh..#platonic or romantic idc There is something Happening there#this also implies that sammy doesn't hate norman/displays some form of positive feeling towards him#bc it's shown in canon that he doesn't rlly like many ppl in the studio#and despite sammy's descent into insanity norman still appreciated him for who he was#they way norman talks abt sammy in his first audio log feels so personal too#probably kicked his feet and giggled abt him idk man#like okaayy what u kno abt him pooks... something u wanna tell me.. twirls my hair/..#IM SO ILL OH MY GODDDDDDDD#CAN ANYONE HEAR ME#i could go on a full 2 hour youtube rant abt how tragic they are#both together and as separate people#and dont even get me STARTED on the reason for norman's heart obsession while in the cycle and why he collects them#UGGHHHHHHHH KICKS THE WALL PUNCHES THE FLOOR I HATE THE FLOOR#been mentally ill about them since 2017 ❤ we up#at least until my pea sized 8 yr old child brain found out normmy was a thing#finding that shitty ms paint ship art changed my life..#theyre literally my og otp 5eva nothing will top them ever#smushing their faces together like barbies type shit#i do wish they had some kind of interaction actual gameplay wise in batim (or even batdr)#idc what kind i just need to see them in the same room together interacting in some way#batim#bendy and the ink machine#normmy#sammy lawrence#norman polk#norman x sammy#rosey rambles#I LOVE DOOMED YAOI
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tizzymcwizzy · 1 year ago
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watched the ml movie
that sure was smth that happened on my screen for real uhuh
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youmakethelight · 1 month ago
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I've got my conspiracy theory hat on for the s11 finale time jump. And. I have a theory.
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todayisafridaynight · 1 year ago
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they were out of line for this. by the way.
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hanaasbananas · 3 months ago
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on arranged marriages
it's funny. mums been in the whatsapp rishta groups for years looking for someone i might marry. she'll send me a profile once in a while and ask what i think, if she should contact his parents or not and most of the time i say yeah, alright. nothing ever comes of it though, so when my dad calls me after work and says mum spoke to him about a rishta she's thinking of moving forward with i'm intrigued, but not particularly invested.
mum's really picky, i tell him. this probably won't go anywhere but we may as well see it through, right? dad is hesitant, but agrees when i say that i do want an arranged marriage.
but then things do move forward and the next thing i know, he is going to visit us with his parents. on the day, my uncle picks me up from work so i don't have to walk. you don't have to make a decision today, he tells me. this is just a first visit. my cousin helps me get ready and i am reminded of the similar scene in the movie vivah. nothing has to happen today, she tells me you guys are just meeting today. the thought does nothing to settle the nerves roiling in my stomach and i try to go back to my room three times instead of going downstairs until my cousin practically shoves me down them.
i enjoy meeting his mum, even though she immediately clocks my nervous clasping and unclasping of my bracelet. she hugs me as if i'm her own daughter and is so happy to see me that my heart lightens. eventually, we go to the other sitting room where the men are sitting-where he is. my nerves flare up again but he doesn't look up from his hands clasped in his lap when we walk in.
too nervous to speak, i only answer say anything when a question is directed at me and try to sneak quick glances at him across the room instead. his mum catches me more than once and smiles knowingly at me. we meet each others eyes only once for a split second and it makes my heart pound rapidly in my chest. when he speaks, i force myself to look at anyone other than him. he has a nice voice, my brain whispers and i bite my tongue, hard.
they leave, and we say they'll know our decision after a couple months. i know what my answer will be though. later, when they get back home and his mum calls my mum, i stand outside the door to eavesdrop, my heart in my throat but i can't stop my grin when i hear his mum say he's happy to go ahead with this, because there was a part of me that still worried he'd see me in person and go NOPE. she suggests that we get to know each other over the next few months and i silently beg my mum to agree. i know that where she is from, in her tradition, the bride and groom speak once or twice before the wedding if they're lucky, and that things are still done that way back home, but just as im gearing up to argue against that, she agrees. it's a miracle!
of course, chronically shy person that i am, the thought of our first conversation taking place on our mums phones is terrifying so instead i ask to get his number so we can text first. she sends his number but theres no way i'm texting first so i send them my number and thankfully he gets the hint and texts me first. i hope you don't mind me texting, i'm just shy still. i say. that's fine, he reassures me. we have time.
time, as it turns out. flies. it doesn't take long to move from texts to voice notes, to phone calls. he really does have a nice voice, i find out, and its not as awkward as i thought it would be. i didn't actually think that we'd talk that much, maybe once a week at most and yet...
i almost cried last night because we were talking about going to Pakistan together next summer and I remembered how when I was a teenager I used to daydream about going to Pakistan with my spouse and visiting all my family with him.
then over the years I sort of gave up on that idea because I'm not the type to go out and meet someone and in the desi arranged marriage market whose gonna choose me?
and now I'm 26, and we talk multiple times a day and when I catch myself thinking oh he isn't really interested, he's just talking to me because he has to to get to know me, why would anyone actually like me?? I find myself countering with well actually if that was the case why would he start calling you every day? how come you went from one call a day ending with 'i'll talk to you tomorrow' to him calling you on his way home from work and 'i'll call you after dinner' when he gets home to a THIRD call after maghrib right before bed? those are not the actions of a man who is uninterested!!
hanaas insecurities- 0, hanaas logic- 1
anyway idk where this is going except i never thought i'd be this excited and happy when it came time for me to get married but here i am and it is SO SCARY to realise that i am maybe possibly (definitely) falling for him but wow, and like? (literally the other day i was telling him a story from when i was a kid and the story had such a silly ending but it was unexpected and he laughed really hard in surprise and it made my heart almost explode i swear its so fun to make him laugh)
but like there's SO MANY logistics i'm restarting my driving lessons so i can pass before i move and i literally just got my new job in april but i'm gonna have to give my notice lmao and i've already started looking for new jobs but GAH so much stuff is happening and yet at the same time i feel so calm about it all it's wild i'm just vibing trying to enjoy my summer holidays and having the highlights of my day being when he calls lmaooo
#banana speaks 🍌#okay that's enough emosh stuff for tonight i think#time to go to bed and watch his tiktoks and kick my feet and giggle at my phone bc i can't believe this is happening still#idk why i made this post honestly but its just like...it is SO SCARY sometimes#and for ages and ages i didn't feel ready at all#my sister had a love marriage and she's been married 10 years w 4 kids she's rlly happy#but i just knew that wasn't gonna happen for me so i was happy w an arranged marriage#but also#i have really strong faith#(mostly)#and something that really helped me here was#im SUCH a chronic over thinker but literally the moment i saw him in our front room#i felt this deep certainty like 'this is it..this is him' it felt like this beautiful peace in my heart#and that was so so lovely like...there's wedding stuff and other things to prepare for but theres no doubt in my mind ab him and its just??#insane im like#its like all my doubts disappeared#and also it's v interesting bc i think if he'd tried any lines on me or flirted when we talk i would be worried but#hes really respectful and my dad likes him my mum likes him we ALL like him hahaha#inshallah inshallah things will go well#also rishta's will come from unexpected places#we were looking in the uk for AGES and couldn't find anyone#but we found him within a year of him being here because turns out...he only came here from pak to be w his parents last year#jo hai tera lab jayega indeed#once agan#inshallah it all goes smoothly :D
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uygfiug · 19 days ago
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for years and years ive been plagued with ideas
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plasterhound · 10 days ago
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this is your sign to PLAY MR RAINER'S SOLVE-IT SERVICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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nomairuins · 1 month ago
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its so embarassing likee. going to talk abt a feeling you have but you already know ppl will be like Oh that sounds like depression lol and its like. well yes . i know . trust me i am so aware i am depressed . but its still like a thing ive been thinking abt and wanting to talk abt but ik itll just be like Ok hun 👍. idk idk what response i would want tho ig FNFNFNF
#not anything serious i was just thinking how like. idk. this is gonna sound rly stupid#but for me personally like. sometimes. How do i phrase this without sounding rly evil#i think obv ppl can spend their money however they want but like. its kind of hard 4 me to grasp sometimes like. there r things that ppl#spend a lot of money on bc it makes them happy like umm. vacations or pets or hobbies or whathaveyou. and obviously thats fine but#i iust feel like its all so. temporary and like. idk. idt im ohrasing this right at all i just likee. the thought of working all year to#afford to take a vacation and then working again to afford another vacation just makes me feel like i want to die. like. idk... i like#vacations we dont need to go on them a lot but ig its just like. everything we do just feels like a waste of time. not in like a Ohh you#should be doing more work Obviously its just like. idk. maybe it is just me. but i feel like im just waiting until i die and can be done#with it i guess. and everything i do is just to fill time until that happens. yk ? which is silly bc of my whole. Thing i cant talk abt#but ppl talk abt like. going out and partying or going on vacation or whatever and i like. I like those things its nice when they happen#but they dont rly make me longterm any happier i guess. everything just feels like another thing im doing. idk. this rly isnt coming out the#way it is in my head. and Again i know this is just depression shit or whatever im just like. its all exhausting. it just makes me feel so#tired. to think abt working and working and working so i can pay to be alive and i can save to do one fun thing every so often to keep me#sane enough to keep working and working and working and i probably wont ever be able to retire itll just be. work. and then ill die. yk.#but i feel like the vacations and stuff dont like. refresh me very much. maybe its just bc ive only been on one 'vacation' as an adult and#it was just like. coming home to see my family. and realizing id have to move back home yk..#+ like. my mom nd my gran taking me out for a weekend when i lived up there#nd those things were nice and all but once its over its like. it doesnt fuel me to keep going it doesnt make me feel any better abt having#to work for the rest of my life#ik im being ridiculous bc im literally unemployed and i cant even get up off my ass to get my stupid fucking ged so i can get a job and be#Useful to my family its just like. idk.... i try so hard to be like Oh nothing mayters and thats why everything matters type thing like. Yes#all things end and the point is to just try to be happy until it does#but i feel like it just doesnt happen for me. i feel like any happiness i feel is so insanely like. it happens and then its gone. and its#back to just. the knowledge that im still fucking stuck here. and i will be until it happens. yk. i play video games tomoass the time until#i go back to sleep then i wake up and i make a spreadsheet to pass the time until i go back to sleep#and everyday just feels like passing the time until i go back to sleep and itll just keep going until it happens. and its nice to have nice#days but whats like. the point. yk. everything just ends#IDK. this is all very whiny im sry. ive just been feeling it a lot lately . i hope this doesnt feel like me being like Ohhh you ppl r so#dumb participating in hobbies and going out and having fun dont you know yr gonna DIE? thats not what im trying to be like#its just like. i feel like it doesnt make me as happy as it does other ppl like. none of it refreshes me or makes me want to keep going
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kavehater · 2 months ago
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Man I just give up.
#dora daily#if only there was a way to just stop everything#idk if I want to die but I want everything to stop#like so many times I go out or smth and something bad happens#or I get triggered in public and I try so hard not to lose myself and start drama in public but I just can’t#every time I show any emotion people start laughing#I can’t even try to stop myself from bawling in the middle of the store without someone#just being so insensitive and rude and diminishing how I feel#you know I say I’m never mad and that is true bc I may seem mad a lot online but I’m not like this irl#but for the first time I actually got mad at someone irl and I was literally gonna beat him#I was genuinely seething so bad it’s not fair and things keep getting worse and worse#I was so close to just throwing this stupid phone and shattering it and ripping up those dumbass#birthday cards they sell in the store#and that stupid bitch of a sister I have is so fucking stupid#she sees someone anxious and incredibly upset and she acts like that ? fuck her#like bro idek how I have lived for this long and idek why I don’t go and just overdose on SOMETHING right now because#logically speaking I should just give up#but I don’t know why I can’t#like please my life is literal shit okay is replying on time so hard for you to fucking do so I don’t go even more insane fuck all of youuuu#UGHHHDJSOS#I SWEAR TO GOD I am so sick of this just you all wait#none of you deserve normal treatment all you deserve is something even worse than ghosting#just you wait let this stupid semester end and I’ll deactivate my socials go speak to the fucking wall you morons#you think I’m gonna wait around what are you paying me to be here ? if anything IM paying with my sanity#like if this was related to a spouse who was a billionaire but he was treating me as shittily as you guys treat me then I’ll say fine#at least I’m getting something out of this transaction who gives a fuck#but im not getting paid#im not receiving support#I’m getting laughed at and ignored#and used only at YOUR CONVENIENCE !!! what the FUCK ! I don’t exist for anyone and certainly not yall even if I did.
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usercelestial · 3 months ago
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✨ venting ✨
#sometimes i feel like i dont make myself clear enough and i come off as very anti b/ddie but like im not i promise i sincerely would love it#and i like the idea of it but it gets so frustrating seeing people swear up and down every fucking season that its going to happen#like you're allowed to enjoy it unless it goes canon and you have a ten page essay on WHY it should go canon and thats just 🪓🪓🪓#like idk maybe im in the wrong spaces but i feel like ive accumulated a very anti b/ddie audience and that was not ny intention#i just wanna vent about how frustrating it is to see ppl try to convince themselves every little thing = b/ddie when like maybe it doesn't#and that should be fine yknow like youre sucking all of the flavor out of these characters by insisting theres something there that isnt#when there is actually a lot of natural chemisty between the characters and a good foundation for their relationship#that you dilute because no here look they were in the same frame that means b/ddie canon in season 14#like the metas ill see are just see here they looked at each other#when you dont have to do that. the ship speaks for itself. the will reveal. the well situation. the sniper arc. like ALL OF THAT means smth#like the b/cktommy deal. tommy can be important to buck OUTSIDE of how important eddie is. it doesn't have to threaten their relationship#but you let it and you come off as insane and insecure because every little fucking thing has to be about b/ddie and its like jfcccc
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angelstrawbabie420 · 3 months ago
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dear god i hope taking my proper dose of meds makes me feel just an ounce more joy than i do now
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motherforthefamicom · 4 months ago
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trying to find some oldass drawings of one of my first sonas i havent been able to find em yet but instead ive just been unearthing all these old notes an ex friend and i would pass to each other back in middle school
#fucking insane i forgot abt a lot of these. i feel kinda bad keeping them that person kind offfff completely ruined my and many of my#friends lives but also. theyre kinda funny to look back on idk#theres one they made that was like ‘i drew the 2 of us as guys haha no reason lol’. idk how he identifies now but back then they were#very very openly a lesbian and last time id heard of him he had transed his gender#i remmeber . so clearly feeling some kinda way abt the art i couldnt articulate at all at the time. Lol#god that whole situation was so fucked im not gonna get into all my personal middle school bullshit becuz it was soooo stupid but like. man#insane#i know ive always been kind of a pushover ill admit but its soooo frustrating looking back like. man..HOW did i just not say anything at al#i wouldnt have gotten into that whole mess if id just been honest 😭 i mean tbh that guy was . i dont want to say anything too like . awful#he was going through a lot absolutely had his own issues they were working thruwe were all like 12 but again .#completely ruined me nd my friends lives for a while . i feel like he wouldve just pulled rhe same thing w someone else as the main target#okay no i need to stop talking abt this i said i wouldnt over share#its mostly just funny seeing all the old art tbh. most of it was before shit got bad so its sorta bittersweet in a way#inquisitivewaltz.txt#i dint know why im talkign abt this sorry#this is honestly something i think abt a lot sometimes . especially the stupider nd more mundane bits#but it was such an awful part of all out lives i cant really discuss it much w friends#everyone else has a much more ‘thank god were not in that anymore now lets pretend it never happened’ outlook on it which is understandable#idk#sorry im oversharing again i need to start keeping a journal or some shit
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venomgender · 7 months ago
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thinking about yoohankim again
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#straight up i dont even think theyd be in a like. idk the word. normal relationship. lmao#like theyre all so definitely in love with each other and would do anything for eachothwr but like#but idk if it would even be in a completely romantic sense i think the lines are like incredibly blurred for the kind of love thwyre in#ITS HARD TO PROPERLY ARTICULATE MY THOUGHTS ABOUT IT RN maybe ill write a real post later idk#yoohankim is just soooooo#i love you id do anything for you i literally changed and fought against thebworld for you i exist Because of you you are the reason im aliv#there is no reality where we wouldnt meet anf depend on each other.#but these feelings i have for you go so far beyond romantic or platonic theres no use defining it#if you fell in love with someone else i wouldnt mind because it wouldnt get in the way of what we have. what we have is different#its special#they would never let each other go they would make out sloppy But I Dont Think Theyd Get Married#or like whatever#i dont think they would ever refer to each other with pet names/as their significant other in anything other than a teasing way#it just goes so beyond like everything I DONT KNOWWWWWW#sometimes i see fanart of them being so sweets and its like awww this is so sweets vut i dont think itd actually happen#DOES THIS MAKE SENSE. WHATEVER#i think thats another reason why im such a joongdok hater I DONT THINK THEYD BE IN AN ACTUAL RELATIONSHIPPPPPP#THEYRE YAOIFUL IN A DIFFERENT WAY IM SORRYYYYYYYY#just because theyd have insane gay sex does notttttttt mean theyd tell each other i love you#2 me#if you think different thats fineeee it IS cute and i see where youre coming from i just disagreeeee its whatver#omniscient posting
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