#i feel like i'm missing a species but oh well

[makenoplans]

all gale banter! (that i am currently aware of)

hiii gale enthusiasts, i just spent the past few hours picking through videos trying to find all of gales party banter and transcribing it! check under the cut for verbose details

copied directly from the doc i transcribed this into so youll have to bear with the initials to denote who is speaking when! generally speaking, initials are a=astarion, g=gale, h=halsin, j=jaheira, k=karlach, l=lae'zel, m=minthara, s=shadowheart, and w=wyll

(except for two minsc quotes that are also m, both where he mentions his name so like... it's obvious)

transcribed with attention paid to particular noises characters make that aren't quite whole words and also words that are emphasized!

please let me know if youre aware of any banter ive missed!

warning: long

G: Karlach! A hypothetical question for you. If someone - not me, of course - detected a hint of romantic interest in them from another… unnamed individual, erm, what might that someone… do about it?

K: Whoever it is, just talk to them, Gale! And leave out the hypotheticals.

G: Talking. Right! I'm good at that!

A: So, Gale, how is your sad, hopeless pining going?

G: [Ach!] I'm hardly pining! Been a year or more since Mystra cast me aside!

A: Oh, my dear wizard, I wasn't talking about Mystra.

W: I used to believe the beauty of first love was unable to be surpassed, but Gale, you are so much more tolerable now that you've found your second.

G: I'll take that comment with the sincerity and good will I assume it was intended.

G: Have you noticed any attachments of the more, er, romantic variety flourishing in our camp, Wyll?

W: I think I'm not the right person to be asking. I can recognize a troll silhouette on a far horizon, but I wouldn't know a flirtation if you whacked me alongside the head with it.

G: I see you waste no time pursuing your quarry, Astarion.

A: Hmph! I rather thought I was a little slow this time. Usually they're begging me to dream them on the first night.

G: Tell me - you always woo your lovers with such patient attention?

A: As the vampire ascendant I can grant my lover immortality and bind them to me forever.

G: Hmm. I trust you speak of the bonds of love, not the shackles of servitude.

G: Am I to understand that you are in love now, Karlach?

K: I sure am. [heh] If there's hope for me, there's hope for anyone.

G: I'm surprised you're permitted to choose a partner outside of your own people.

L: We had to use and misuse each civilization in the stars in every way we know. I do not conquer by blade alone, Gale.

G: I can't imagine Mother Gith would approve. Doesn't she prefer us lesser species enslaved? Or eviscerated?

M: You've been smiling like a fool of late, wizard. Explain yourself.

G: I found love. Surely even you wouldn't begrudge me some happiness?

M: All I can say on the matter is that you were wise to lower your standards from the godly to the ghastly.

G: Tell me, Lae'zel: is it common for githyanki to fall in love?

L: Love? Is that this feeling in me, then? This passion to peel every layer of one's heart to see what light and shadows lurk there? I doubt I am the first githyanki to… to feel this way, but few would ever declare it. Githyanki have playmates, thrill partners but I've never heard anyone profess love, nor read of it in our slates.

L: Gale, I've heard you talking in your sleep. Your mate needs better rest for our journey.

G: And deprive them of the pleasure of hearing my nocturnal postulations? I'd never be so cruel. The mind absorbs much while we believe ourselves dormant. To lie beside Gale of Waterdeep is positively educational.

G: If you're feeling faint after your bout with Cazador, Astarion, I don't mind donating some blood.

A: Aha! Well, you're still full of that Netherese bile, I'll pass, thank you! Besides, I have someone else to nibble on, and they are delicious.

G: I'm glad to know you have a softer side, Minthara. I was beginning to think you rather… heartless.

M: Loving another is not soft, wizard. It is one of the hardest things a person can do.

G: So you admit you found love! Aww. How delightful. I'm happy for you both.

A: So, how was your night with Gale? Did you have a long, hard debate?

G: Ugh. Ignore him. Astarion envies the depth of a bond because he's of a shallower inclination.

G: So Astarion, I hear your relationship has taken on a new aspect recently.

A: My life has taken on "a new aspect." It's only natural that my relationships change as well.

G: Halsin! You must have accumulated considerable wisdom on matters of the heart in your long life. Anything you'd like to pass on to a… strapping, lovestruck wizard such as myself?

H: [hehehe] Dispensing advice on matters of the heart would be like swapping boots. What suits me may be a… poor fit for you.

G: Ah. Well. There's no faulting that logic. At least you didn't tell me to "be myself."

H: Oh no, perish the thought. That can be outright cruel advice to offer in certain cases.

G: Indulge me, Lae'zel, as someone unfettered by Faerunian beauty standards: how would you appraise my appearance?

L: Your beard looks like the hairy tufts upon the [surlon], the largest of wyrmkind that sliver our skies.

G: Hm. I suppose that's… a bad thing? No. Don't answer that.

G: Wild-shaping must sprinkle some spice on your love life, Halsin.

H: Heh. Indeed it does. Did you… never experience such delights with Mystra? I, uh, hear the gods enjoy taking on the forms of swans, horses, eagles and the like when… visiting with mortals?

G: Oh no, quite the opposite, actually! She mostly preferred our interactions to be abstract, and incorporeal. Most invigorating.

G: So, Lae'zel, have you ever been tempted to use psionics in your, uh, romantic endeavors?

L: Only once. Did you know, in low-gravity settings, githyanki can maintain aerial suspension for hours at a time?

G: Fascinating! I think the arch-mage Tasha described a spell with similar affect! I really must look that up.

G: I've always felt flames to be a rather perfect expression of love, Karlach. Passionate! Primal! Capable of bestowing the most life-affirming comfort - or - inflicting the profoundest damage.

L: That's… pretty nice. Never thought about it like that. But… now I will.

G: I've been pondering something, Lae'zel. Why is it that githyanki have bellybuttons, hm? When they hatch from eggs?

L: I did not grant you permission to gaze upon my midriff.

G: I- I wasn't gazing! Merely observing! Though that can hardly be said for a certain someone else.

G: Y'know, Karlach, there are other ways to express love beyond run-of-the-mill physicality.

K: Ugh! Are you going to try and teach me about exceptional uses for a mage hand or what?

G: W-well actually, I was thinking of poetry!

K: Oops. Sorry. But, uh, now that I think of it… is mage hand especially hard to learn?

G: Even shaped by shadow as it is, Sharran architecture has a kind of beauty to it.

K: Beautifully intimidating. This place was meant to scare people into submission.

G: There you go. Cutting right through the ephemera to the heart of the matter. Hm! Your finest quality, I think.

K: Uh. Here I thought I rubbed you the wrong way.

G: Nothing wrong with a bit of friction now and then. You help me keep my mind sharp.

K: Aw, thanks, pal! I think.

G: When we met, Shadowheart, your gaze seemed to linger in the distance on some unseen goal, some insubstantial purpose. But I notice now your gaze settles on something or someone much closer.

S: Is it that obvious?

G: Of course! There's nothing escapes a wizard's powers of observation.

A: I gave my return to Baldur's Gate a lot of thought. I never pictured this, though.

G: Ah, what did you have in mind? A quiet party? Toasting your own return with a few good friends?

A: Less "quiet party with friends", more "days of hedonistic debauchery", but otherwise… yes!

G: Hmm. Sounds like a recipe for disaster. But you know what? I'm learning to enjoy the taste of chaos. Count me in.

G: I've heard that in Baldur's Gate, "wizard" is also a term used for one who eschews their more, [hr-hrm] carnal desires. Is that true, Wyll?

W: Where are we going with this, Gale?

G: Oh, nowhere. Just think it's a rather cruel misnomer, not at all reflective of the glamor wizarding life affords.

A: So Gale, you laid with a goddess? You must have some sordid tales to tell.

G: Sordid? I lay with the Mother of Magic herself! What we had was… transcendent. Euphoric. Incandescent. Not sordid!

A: You actually made sleeping with a goddess sound boring. Hm. Incredible.

A: I am enjoying our walks together, aren't you, Gale?

G: Uhh… sure! In silence.

G: When you've loved a goddess as I have, people often think you less experienced in the way of romance.

S: She just lives on another plane! [heh] Only jesting. I'm in no position to judge, especially after what happened with Shar.

G: It's true for a time, I neglected the physical in favor of celestial euphoria. But our relationship was no less real for it.

G: I feel I've been rather hasty to judge you, Astarion. One heartbreak was quite enough for me, but to experience it as many times as you have… must change a person.

A: Thank you, Gale, but let us both hope that broken hearts are a thing of the past.

A: So, do you have loves waiting for you once this is all over?

G: You know what, that is not the easiest of questions for me to answer.

S: You mean just… waiting? Like a lovesick puppy?

M: Do you have elder siblings, wizard?

G: You're about to say something awful, aren't you?

M: In Menzoberranzan, after a house has two sons, every subsequent male-born child is slaughtered at birth, as it is useless, even for breeding. You have the aura of a third child about you.

G: The architect who built this must have been remarkable. Pity their vision didn't stand the test of time.

K: All's not lost. I mean, just look at this place!

G: You've quite the knack for finding the bright side of things, haven't you?

K: Hope keeps you going.

K: So Gale, got any book recommendations for me?

G: You can read?

K: Hmph. Yes, very funny. I can read. School put me off big, boring tomes. Sometimes I wonder what I'm missing.

G: Ah! Say no more. I'll find the perfect book for you. I might even lend it to you from my library in Waterdeep, ooh.

K: Ooh, something with magic please! And no devils!

G: Do you feel that? The darkness, pulling at the strands of the Weave?

K: Er, you'll still be able to do your wizard thing though, right?

G: Of course. Doesn't make the shadows less dangerous.

K: Joy.

M: Gale. Minsc worries you might send a fireball up his butt with all of this… stringy hair in your face.

G: Is that why you keep your head shaved? I assumed it was a custom of some sort.

M: Oh, no. Most warriors of [Rashinan] wear long battle braids weighed down with stone. Minsc can show you, when next we camp.

G: Thank you, but I'm more wizard than warrior. Not sure my scalp would stand up to such a plaiting.

A: Gods! We're not back, are we?

G: On the Nautiloid, no. This is a different nursery. Similar, but not identical. There's likely one in every colony.

A: I don't care what's in every mind flayer colony, Gale. Nobody does. Except you.

A: Ugh, another ruined temple full of foul-smelling beasts spoiling for a fight.

G: No mere temple. This was a monastery, devoted as much to study as to worship.

A: Oh, how ignorant of me. So it'll be free of foul-smelling beasts then?

G: Quite the opposite. Some monastic orders celebrated their pungency as proof of their devotion. "To think is to stink" was the motto of one ill-fated brotherhood near Arm. Oh! Huh, but you meant beasts of the life-threatening variety. Yes I'm sure it's teeming with those.

A: Moonlanterns to keep the curse back? Burly guards to fight off any monsters? I could get used to this place.

G: Don't get too comfortable. We shouldn't overstay our welcome in such a place.

A: No, of course! Why stay somewhere safe and comfortable when we could be in mortal peril?

H: Ah, Last Light Inn. Half aglow and lanterns lit. Just like a hundred years ago.

G: I imagine the vista was more idyllic back then. As were its patrons' chances of surviving the walk home.

H: [Grunt.] Still though, when you are expecting nothing but desolation, even a small glimmer of hope fills the heart. To think long ago, the druids feared this market down would grow into a city and threaten nature's realm… little did we realize what the true threat was.

G: Divination is a skill few can master. The rest of us must simply muddle along, content to view the past with a clarity the future rarely offers.

H: Perhaps I can yet turn hindsight into foresight, provided the curse is lifted. The better way for all. Whole generations were denied their chance to flourish… I must put this right, for them.

A: That orb seems powerful. What could it do once it's extracted?

G: Nothing good can come of it unless it is contained. Why.

A: It might be useful. Who knows?

G: I must tell you, Shadowheart, the bathing waters here leave much to be desired. The ablutions offered at the Temple of Beauty in Waterdeep were far superior - and, they have the most excellent soaps.

S: Hmm. I was wondering why you always smelled like a wealthy dowager.

A: From sweet woodland to stinking swamp. Can you do tricks like that, Gale?

G: Easiest thing in the world. Though I'd do it the other way around.

H: Brickwork and stonework. This place is far out of balance with nature, but the Oak Father will reclaim this all eventually.

G: Not too soon, I hope! I've a craving for a soft bed, a hot bath, and a large glass of Arabellan Dry. None of which I've ever found hidden under a log.

H: Hah, you may thrive, but what of other life? A city is no place for wild creatures.

G: Cities teem with life! Rats, pigeons, flies… they count no less, for all their more pestilent qualities.

G: The Society of brilliance has quite the reputation. Even Waterdhavian academics refer to their works from time to time.

S: They talk a great deal but do very little. Which may be for the best.

G: I take it you're not inclined to study the wonders of the Underdark?

S: Its inhabitants and cultures, maybe. Its fungi and cave slime, no thank you.

W: Ethel mentioned Netherese magic. What in blazes does that mean?

G: Magic from the fallen empire of Netheril. Ancient. Exceedingly dangerous. And quite unrivalled.

A: Wonderful. I'd hate to be destroyed by any common old magic.

G: Home and hearth, reduced to ruins. The shadow curse stole more than the light from this place.

H: That is why it must be stopped. Imagine a whole century of life and love denied the chance to ever take place.

G: A hidden shrine dedicated to the Moonmaiden herself. Even amidst this darkness, Selunites are stubborn enough to cling on.

K: Pretty beautiful, isn't it?

G: Look around you! Indulge your curiosity! Sorcerous Sundries is the finest purveyor of magical miscellany for miles around.

K: Where's the axes?

G: What they sell is far more precious than mere sword or shield! They sell knowledge! Ingenuity! The wisdom of mages past.

K: [yawns] Ugh, sounds like more your thing than mine.

K: Doing alright, Gale?

G: Oh, you know. Still alive and kicking despite being surrounded on all sides by an endless manifestation of… darkness and decay.

K: I feel it too. Here if you need a pick-me-up.

G: It strikes me that, for a mind flayer colony, there are remarkably few mind flayers about the place.

K: Squiddies have gone to war, is my guess.

G: On the Absolute's behalf? Now there's an alliance I'd've been quite happy without.

K: Aw, man, adventuring is thirsty work.

G: There used to be a monastery in this region known for producing a wonderful ale.

K: Ah, that sounds like heaven. Wait. Used to?

G: Oh yes, long ruined, I'm afraid. No chance of a frothing pitcher awaiting us there, but still. At least your thirst for knowledge is quenced!

K: Ugh!

W: It might seem a bit ramshackle, but this place is a boastworthy bar.

G: A bar is only as good as its cellars. Which vintages can we expect on its racks?

W: Here, a bottle is judged more by its ability to crack heads than the quality of its contents.

G: Ah. If that's the main criteria then I shall reset my expectations accordingly. Water it is!

K: We're not taking a boat to Baldur's Gate, right?

G: And give the Absolute free reign to use us as target practice from the banks? I think not!

K: Ugh. My mum always said the Chionthat was unlucky.

G: I don't suppose you've any clue where we are in relation to Waterdeep?

K: From this distance between Elturel and Baldur's Gate, I'd say… a long way away.

G: Ah. That will make getting word to my mother rather tricky. No matter. What she doesn't know can't hurt her. Not at this distance, anyway.

G: Nothing like a brisk stroll through the forest to invigorate the spirit.

K: I was just thinking the same thing! But… poetically.

G: And without so much as a stirring from our tadpoles.

K: A girl could get used to this.

L: These children and their pets lack discipline. Were they githyanki, I'd recommend further training.

G: Not everyone approaches the raising of their young with such militaristic vigor.

L: That is the very purpose of training. To determine which children shall be warriors, and which are suited to other roles. As for the unruly animals, they would make for nutritious marching rations.

G: Mm, that's certainly one way to make them behave.

L: These flowers are quite vivid, not to mention pungent. Not to my liking.

G: Are there no flowers in [tunirath]?

L: In the city of death, the m'lar cultivate the fruiting bodies that sprout from the corpses of the slain.

G: Huh. I'd rather get them from my florist in Waterdeep, if it's all the same to you.

G: That zaith'isk you mentioned intrigues me. Care to tell me a bit more?

L: An intricate device crafted by m'lar, our most gifted artisans. I am sworn to say no more.

S: Why must the Dead Three be so obvious and ugly with their decor? Blood and bones, bones and blood… Pointy nonsense. At least Shar had some panache.

G: As did Mystra's home on Elysium. Her ribbed vaults and buttresses created a magic entirely of their own… not to mention their pleasure domes.

S: Hah! Pleasure dome.

G: It's a perfectly legitimate architectural feature!

G: The road to Baldur's Gate is a long one. Who knows how long it'll take these folks to get there on foot.

S: If they make it. They're slow, vulnerable. Half or more will die long before Basilisk Gate.

G: Doesn't seem to trouble you a jot.

S: What good would it do for me to be troubled? We can't save them all.

S: You seem to know a good deal about our condition, Gale.

G: Everything, really. Not to put too fine a point on it.

S: A humble specimen, aren't you?

G: On occasion.

G: They're not mutually exclusive! The weave is served best with a dash of eloquence.

G: There's magic here, but it's of a rancid, impure form. Nothing like the true Weave at all.

L: This is why I appreciate a sharp blade to a ball of fire or a bolt of lightning. The Weave is inconsistent, unruly.

G: The Weave is constant, but its users - anything but. We must be on our guard.

L: A githyanki warrior hardly needs to be told that.

L: What is this? This place makes me feel sad, melancholy.

G: Ah, so you're susceptible to the tragedy of a broken home. Maybe you've more in common with us weaker beings than you thought.

L: There's no call to be insulting.

G: Not to diminish our efforts, but. Was rather simple getting here in the end, wasn't it?

L: The obstacles ahead prove to be higher still, which will make the pleasure of overcoming them all the more potent. Imagine the glorious din of it all, the streaming banners, the charging knights. The piles of severed limbs and heads.

G: Mm, I'd rather not, if it's all the same to you.

G: Whatever I expected to find lurking in this cursed gloom, it certainly wasn't this. A glimmer of hope amidst the darkness.

S: That's one way of looking at it. You could also say it's a prime target, the one pocket of light in the gloom.

G: Oh pragmatism, thy name is Shadowheart. You're not wrong, though. Best we keep our sojourn here to a minimum.

G: So! Shadowheart. Such a name implies yours is a difficult heart to find.

S: It's not that hard to find. Perhaps any difficulty is more telling of you, Gale.

G: I always wondered what a vampire's lair would look like. Can't say I pictured it being quite this… theatrical.

L: I find it surprisingly similar to Queen Vlaakith's aesthetic.

G: That makes sense. She does have a flair for the dramatic.

G: No day, no night. It's as though time itself has abandoned this place. Similar to the Astral Plane in some ways, wouldn't you say, Lae'zel?

L: Mm, hardly. It is said that the Astral Plane is threaded with light and silver, life-giving and wondrous in all directions. Nothing like this dismal abyss.

G: Tell me, Lae'zel, what is it like on the Astral Plane? Your home realm intrigues me.

L: Githyanki lay their eggs on other planes. They cannot mature in the Astral.

L: A tadpole nursery, as on the Nautiloid.

G: Quite right, so long as the attempt won't leave us similarly dismantled.

L: Caution is commendable. Boldness is extraordinary. In this case, I recommend the latter.

W: You're an impressive fighter, Gale. You should consider a new name.

G: I take it you have some suggestions?

W: The Wizard Wonder. Or, how about… the Master of the Weave?

G: Tempting, but I think we already have the maximum number of theatrical titles.

G: Pigeons, gulls, sparrows. These streets would make a fine hunting ground for a tressym like Tara.

M: In the Underdark, we have packs of winged hounds to deal with vermin like your precious Tara.

G: Flying hounds? Come now, you're pulling my leg. Aren't you?

M: Yes, I am. It is the bats that would make a meal of her.

M: Umberlee. Her clerics possess a nasty streak as wide as her oceans.

G: So their reputation suggests, especially among the good folk of Waterdeep. I'm curious to learn how you fell foul of them.

M: Blasphemy, said the temple priestess, but Minsc says do not give horns to your statues if you do not wish the visitors to try and make them toot.

G: Yes. That would probably do it.

W: I admire your courage, Gale.

G: Thank you! Any particular reason?

W: Between the orb and the bug, you've got more than your fair share of unwelcome passengers.

G: What can I say? Mother always told me to be a gracious host.

G: My, my. Well I'll say this for the bonecloaks: they know their mushrooms.

S: Perhaps they should expand their horizons. Too much time spent obsessing over fungi seems to leave them a bit, well… like them.

G: Oh, a byproduct of their profession. Few can spend a lifetime inhaling fungal spores without turning out a bit… muddled between the years.

W: This is it, Gale. Today, we annihilate the heart of the Absolute's power.

G: Entirely unnecessary. Though, if they are so inclined, I might be convinced to share a stanza or two of my own for inspiration! Whatever outcome of what's just ahead… it will be the stuff of legends.

G: I knew you were a graceful man, Wyll, but I hear you're quite the dancer, too! I've been known to trip the light fantastic myself. Mine was a popular hand at the annual Blackstaff's Ball.

W: I'd have loved to have witnessed it, Gale. I wager you are as elegant on the dance floor as you are on the battlefield.

S: What did you mean before, Gale? "A woman with shadows for eyes", you said.

G: Merely that if the eyes are the mirror to the soul, yours have dark curtains across the mirror. No offense taken, I hope.

S: Not necessarily. I haven't made up my mind about you yet.

A: Ever heard of a vampire called Cazador, Wyll?

W: I don't think so, no. Why? Friend of yours?

G: He's patriarch of the Szarr family. Nasty fellow, if the histories are accurate.

A: I imagine they are.

L: The right of these prisoners to die in mortal combat was stolen from them.

G: Hardly the worst atrocity the Absolute's committed.

L: One of many, but by no means the least. To die properly is a matter of honor.

W: This is no aimless horde. The Absolute's forces are organized. What do you make of it, Gale?

G: All enemies have some chink in their armor, no matter how much they like to believe themselves invulnerable.

W: And if we don't find any clear weakness?

G: Then we hope our mutual strengths are enough to dominate them. Or! We die nobly in the attempt.

G: I was wondering about your queen, Vlaakith. What tales of her reach us are terrifying. I suppose that's not how you would describe her.

L: Vlaakith is unity. Fear and beauty, life and unlife… eyes like onyx, teeth like daggers. There is none more perfect.

S: Sounds vile. I assume the meaning of perfect was lost in translation.

G: Moonrise Towers lies ahead. We're nearing the heart of the Absolute, I'm certain of it.

W: Then let us push forward, head high, weapons in hand, and turn this tower to rubble.

G: Your confidence is encouraging, but a little premature. Let's keep our eyes on the task ahead- or eye, as the case may be.

W: Who's in charge of the mind flayers, Lae'zel? Is there a squid king or something?

L: No. Each ghaik is servant to an elder brain. No king unites elders, only their collective tyranny.

G: A mind flayer monarch! Imagine that. Such a thing could shatter worlds!

K: Ready to enter the belly of the beast?

G: Ugh. It's the stairs I'm dreading.

G: No sign of tentacles so far.

S: The same. Except for a knot of worry in my stomach that's in no rush to go away.

G: That I can relate to.

G: The masons here thought they were building something to last. How wrong they were.

W: Perhaps it's a blessing that none of them survived to see it fall to the shadows.

G: No need for such a grim assumption. Halsin helped many to escape these shadows before the town was consumed.

W: Then some masons were more blessed still, if they could put their talent to use elsewhere. Perhaps some of their work even graces Baldur's Gate.

S: You seemed quite forward with your compliments earlier. We'd only just met.

G: Seize the day, I say. More now than ever.

S: Careful you don't pull a muscle in this place.

S: Isn't it so that every time you speak as you cast a spell, you're endeavoring to call upon Mystra? I'm surprised she still listens to you.

G: She has no choice. She's sworn to hear all magic users. Even me. I'm sure she at least stuffs her fingers in her ears to muffle my invocations.

G: The history of the city itself is captured in the archives here. A fascinating resource.

W: I wonder what those archives will reveal about us a hundred years hence.

G: Only the most excellent and complimentary things. With some encouragement from us, of course.

G: Look at this place. Such horrors defy description.

S: Silence can be best. Give it a try sometime.

S: What if this creche doesn't work out, Lae'zel? What if your kin fail you?

L: If I can reach the creche, my kin will provide. Any failure will be mine alone.

S: If you say so. Just don't expect me to put all my eggs in the same basket.

G: That expression must sound curious to a githyanki ear, given the way they're birthed.

G: Gods. Who knew such a vile abscess lurked in the bedrock of this city? The very stone reeks of misery and despair.

J: Mm. A sad shrine kept by the lunatic and the lost. The last time I was here, I promised myself I would die beneath open sky. I have not changed my mind.

G: Nor should you. Far better to feel a cool breeze on your skin than whatever foul expirations blow through these halls.

A: Eh, can't say I love what they've done with the place.

G: Unsurprising, really. Fanatical cultists tend to care more for ambience then aesthetics.

A: Hrm. Reason enough to put them all to the sword, I say.

A: Heh, what's this? A clever little hideaway. A little too clever, if you ask me. Watch out for traps.

G: Not just clever. Rather ingenious! Somehow its construction keeps the shadow curse away.

S: The end must be near. No regrets, Gale? You may have been better off staying inside this boulder.

G: Unlikely. Had I stayed there much longer, the orb would have reduced it to rubble. Besides, think of all the fun I'd've missed out on.

S: Fun? Well, yes… I suppose we did manage to make the best of things.

[lani-heart]

|| series masterlist || next // previously

parings -> ( eventually ) enhypen x reader genre -> soulmate au, fantasy au, angst warnings -> angst, self-harm word count -> 1.5k

abstract -> "i'm not a monster"

y/n’s perspective

I don't understand why Jake would want to know how it feels. Seeing someone hurt should give him an idea… He even wanted to keep it a secret, but why?

I wonder if K already gave it to him… if he drank it knowing what it was. 

“Why are you so lost in your own head love?” I heard and smiled. “Just tired, Won,” I said and he chuckled. “Too tired even for me?” he teased and I smiled at him. He really was the best. “No, never for any of you,” I said and he smiled while kissing my forehead. 

“Jay is busy today, so he wanted me to tell you to eat at the cafeteria today,” he said and I nodded. “Are you gonna join me?” I asked and he chuckled. “I would, but I need to get my dinner at the cafeteria so I’d rather not let you wait,” he said and I nodded. 

It's been a while since I've eaten dinner by myself. Eunchae and Wonyoung are busy with after-school activities today. “Don’t miss me too much,” he said while speeding away. 

I packed up my stuff and decided to go to the cafeteria. 

While we could make our own food and eat at the cafeteria, we couldn’t get other foods made for different species. That's a concrete rule… humans have a specific process of checking food, it's quite similar to witches but our food has more nutrients for our energy in magic. Whilst werewolves consisted of a lot of meat… sometimes rare. Of course, vampires have blood bags and blood-infused food. 

Wait… if Jay was busy today, what was Jake gonna eat?

“I need help” I heard and I immediately got scared of the man behind me… speaking of the devil. “I know it's not your ideal way to spend the end of the day, but if I can't stomach a blood bag I won't be able to eat any of the cafeteria food,” he said and I nodded. 

“Why don’t you go into the city?” I asked and he shook his head. “The humans know I'm a vampire… It's on my uniform. They'll refuse to serve me. Why would a vampire go to a human-owned restaurant alone?” he asked and he proved a point. There was a lot of fear when it came to humans… some trusted witches and werewolves but when it came to other supernatural creatures like vampires… not so much. 

“Well… I could go with you? We could go to the witch area, there's food you can eat as a human '' I said and his eyes lit up and he grabbed my shoulders making me freeze. “Thank you! You’re a lifesaver!” he said as he let me go… I tried to calm down my over beating heart, but it wasn’t like he could hear it with the effects of the potion. 

“Do you need time to get ready?” I asked and he shook his head. “No… I just want food” he said and I understood he must be feeling an overwhelming amount of saturation. 

“Lets go wait  for the bus then”

jake’s perspective

I was happy she was true to her word and was willing to help me. 

We finally got out of the bus that took us to the nearest city. It had a lot of different species-owned shops and restaurants. While shops were okay, restaurants were hard since vampires primarily drink blood scaring humans when they go in saying they're hungry. 

“This is a human and witch-infused place. I hope you can find something you can eat” she said and I nod hoping it was true. “Jake?” I heard and I saw a she-devil. I hid behind y/n who looked at me confused. 

“Jake, you should not be hiding behind the poor girl” she scolded and she smiled at the y/n who put her hand out. “Hello, if you know Jake you must know my brother Heeseung '' she said and I could see the shocked expression on her face. “I’m sorry for those idiots, they’ve always been that way,” she said and I scoffed.

“But you’re a witch and Heeseung–” “Is a vampire? The only vampires born from them are Sunghoon, Jake, and Niki the rest were turned. Heeseung was actually a witch” she explained. 

“That's a long story though!” she said and I scoffed… 

“Oh, it's nice to meet you,” she said, causing the she-devil to smile. “Be careful, Jake. Being human is a lot harder than you think” she said, seeing right through me. “How’d you know?” I asked as I stopped hiding. “I’m a witch… of course, I'd know, '' she said. “Besides any idiot could feel the magic radiating off of you” I heard as I now saw Vernon-hyung. “Oh, uhm she’s actually in HYBE Academy '' I explained and her eyes lit up. “I want to go into HYBE Academy when I graduate!” she said with an excitement I hadn't seen before. 

“Oh? Maybe you’ll be my junior!” she said and y/n smiled. “We should get going now, your mates are waiting for you” I heard as I saw Jeonghan also. 

“Mates? I didn’t know you found your mates yet?!” I said and she chuckled. “Neither do they,” she said and I should've guessed. From what Heeseung explained she knew who her mates were before even meeting them. 

“Bye! I would love to see you again y/n!” she said as she left. “I didn’t know he had a sister, '' she said and I nodded. “She’s evil,” I said and she laughed. “She seems nice…” she said and I nodded. “Nicer than Heeseung at least but those two are the worst. Now can we order?” I asked and her eyes widened. 

“Oh! You’re right, uhm here” she said while showing me the menu. “Oh, Rabokki sounds good!” I said and she smiled. “Let's go order then,” she said and I put down the menu as we got in line. “Are you not gonna get anything?” I asked and she hummed. “I was thinking of getting the same thing actually,” she said and I chuckled. “We could just order a big one and share?” I suggested. “Are you sure?” she asked and I nodded. 

“I’ll pay by the way… as a thank you for doing this for me”

y/n’s perspective

My time with Jake was… nice. 

He was actually really funny and sweet so I felt comfortable around him. Even meeting Heeseung’s sister was shocking, but the evening was good despite my other soulmates being busy. 

“I’m so full!” he said as he yawned. “Why am I so sleepy?” he asked and I chuckled. “Because human food fills you so much that it just makes you tired. Unlike other species they don’t use anything to give extra energy to their food” I explained and he nodded. 

“Being a human… it's weird” he said and I was curious. “How does being a witch feel?” he asked, making me laugh. “I know it sounds weird,” he mutters softly with a smile. He was...

No, he likes Sooha, not me.

“Well, I almost have excessive energy that I need to release. Witches need to do magic to not only be healthy but practice” I explained and he nodded. 

“Vampires just have an excessive thirst,” he said and I nodded. “Does it make you uncomfortable with… you know eating with your mates?” he asked and I shook my head. 

“It's a natural thing, none of it bothers me,” I said and he nodded. “Being around you… is overwhelming” he said and it confused me. “Not right now! Just… as a vampire. I’m not the best with control so you constantly smell like blood” he said and I felt my eyes widen in shock. 

“I need to work on my control… control plus heavy emotions lead me to do horrible things. I’m sorry for that” he explained and I now knew it wasn’t really his fault. 

He probably was defending Sooha… but he didn’t mean to hurt me. “I still don’t know how it feels to be hurt. But I wanted to explain that” he said and I nodded. “Sorry for not hearing you out,” I said and he shook his head. 

“I don’t blame you” 

jake’s perspective

I dropped her off at her dorm when I left the school again. I went to the plains to test it out. 

I took a deep breath and summoned my fire. It was warm… then it turned hot and then turned unbearable. I couldn’t even control the scream that I let out. 

“That pain you feel right now… remember it. It was only a fraction of what you did to her” I heard as I saw Heeseung? “Asking her for a potion to make yourself human? What were you thinking?” he asked as I could only feel my vision get blurry. 

The burns hurt… the smell of burning flesh even made me gag. 

“You’ve hurt countless people, you're under a rehabilitation program Jake. You're supposed to learn not to be a monster and yet you do monstrous things” he said and it was true. 

There were vampires like him… who were made and are taught how to control whilst there's one like me who has killed and needed to be taught morals. 

“I get it… I’m still a monster”

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[transbianmuffin]

Memories pt. 4

cw a little bit of manipulation, again

********

"Careful, little one, the water is a bit hot."

There is so much nice steam in here. I never had a bath, only quick cold showers. It's sooo niceee and I'm dizzy...

"I'm a little dizzy?"

"I added some Class A and E to the water, the steam you're now inhaling will help you relax."

"It's nice. Oh it feels soooo good~"

her vines are so gentle gently gentling is gentling a word fuck it she's massaging my scalp, my chest and scrubbing my back my fucking god it's sooo good

"Fuck~"

"Deena, language! I know you are a bit feral but as my ward I won't allow such display of vulgarity. You must be well behaved, little miss."

"Y- yes sorry."

wait, was that an order? oh yes! fuckfuckfuck scritches behind my ears I feel like I'm melting I wanna stay here forever

"A- ahhhh~"

"You like that, don't you?"

"I love it. I love it so much."

"And who's a good girl?"

I am I am I am I am please tell me it's me it's me it's me it's me

"Me?"

"Yes darling, you are~"

yes yes I am her good girl her good girl her good girl hergoodgirlhergoodgirl wait.

Wait.

Slow down, Deena.

Slow down, breathe.

Breathe.

You're still a captive?

Maybe?

"Sinea..."

"Tell me, my dearest."

"Why are you doing this to me?"

"I told you! I find you extremely cute and we Affini take great care of cute things."

"But-"

"No buts, sweetie. Just trust me. Close your eyes and tell me what you feel. This will answer your question."

"I feel peace. I feel every inch of my body thriving with bliss. I feel my mind slowly numbing down to a place of pure happiness. I feel... love."

"Exactly."

"But it's not real, right? It's the xenodrugs."

"The xenodrugs are only a little plus. A little kick to smooth things up. It's all true. What you are feeling it's genuine."

"W- why are you putting your vines around my neck?"

"Can you feel the slight pressure I'm applying there?"

"Yes~"

"Again now, what do you feel?"

"Normally I would be scared as fu-. As hell. I'd be scared as hell. Not now though, the pressure is pleasant~ It reminds me that you are here. It gives me a sense of belonging. Belonging? Belonging."

"Say a word and I'll release you immediately."

"..."

"I'll take your hesitation as a word."

no no no no keep your vines around my neck no please no I want to belong I want I want no no no please it felt so good

"No, please don't. Keep them there, as a constant reminder that~"

"That you're mine?"

yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes

"I- I don't know."

"I see~ let's finish here and I'll dress you."

how much time has passed?

The xenodrugs are wearing off.

Fuck that was so intense.

...

Her vines again, all around me...

"I'm not a doll, you know?"

"Oh, sorry sweetheart. Do you want to put on your dress by yourself?"

"No. No please continue."

"Oh Deena, you're so silly~"

I can't think straight, I can't think oh my the dress is so beautiful oh my I've never had such a beuatiful thing in my whole life fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

"Oh holy fucking fuck!" "Deena. What I've told you about language?"

"That I must be well behaved."

"And are you well behaved now?"

"Sorry Sinea." "That's my good girl. Now let's see how it fits. I got inspiration by a very specific terran specie of tulips. I think you called them 'tulipa altaica'. Yes, something like that."

"..."

"Sweetie why are you crying, you don't like it?" "Sinea, I love it. I love it so much. The bright yellow! The shape! It fits me perfectly and it gives me such beautiful hips. I've never had something this beautiful in my whole life."

"You can take it with you when we will be done here. It's a gift."

"Take it? Take it where?"

"When you will leave, silly. At some point you will leave and go back to Jupiter or wherever, right? Consider this a parting gift for all the info you gave us."

"Oh, yes sure. When I will leave. Yes."

"There is one last bit we're missing here, though."

"?"

"Remember when you had my vines around your neck?"

yes sure itwasonlythemostintenseandjoyousexperienceofmywholelife

"I think so, I was so high."

"Mh mh, well I was taking measurements."

"Wait! Is that a c- collar?"

"All the florets have one, you would look weird without one and besides other Affini will start asking me why you don't have one and I don't want to be there and repeat ten times in a row that you're my ward, not my pet there's a difference and bla bla bla."

"But I'm not a floret..."

"True and in fact this is not the same collar florets wear. This is just a garment, a fashion accessory. Nothing more than that."

"O- ok."

"Wanna put it on yourself or do you want some help?"

"Do it."

"Do it, what?"

"You know what, Sinea."

"I want you to ask for it."

"Help me."

"Ask properly, Deena."

"Please, help me putting the collar on."

"With utmost pleasure, my darling. You look gorgeous. If I think when I found you almost dying in that stinky, squalid, inelegant terran ship. Stars, look at you Deena, look at you."

I'm beautiful. Can I be that beautiful? Am I allowed to be that beautiful? I- I- I- I- "I am-"

"You are what?"

"I am-"

"I want you to say it, Deena."

I am beautiful."

"You are beautiful. Again now."

"I am beautiful."

"Yes, you truly are my dearest. Now let's head to the floret's gathering. Everybody will be so excited to meet you."

********

[mykingdomforapen]

I'm thinking today about Lu Guang's next best friend. The one he meets, after Cheng Xiaoshi. How in the beginning of their friendship, they notice how Lu Guang gets anxious around the idea of autumn. They hear him mention how September is his least favorite month, and it takes several years of assuming it's to do with the weather before they find out the real reason why. Or how he has a precise eye of how to take a photo, and he tells them that his best friend taught him how--his other best friend, no, you've never met him. He passed away, two years ago. Thanks, man. We don't have to talk about it.

I wonder how long it took before this new best friend saw Lu Guang cry. I think when it happened, it was when Lu Guang least expected it. Because he thought he was doing fine, and then something twists, reality twinges, and Cheng Xiaoshi's ghost is visible even to them before they even knew his name.

I wonder how the best friend worried about Lu Guang. Knowing that there was a grief and sorrow that they did not understand, did not know how to care for just yet. They loved through trial and error, awkward and clumsy and earnest. They feel like they could have done more, but they didn't know how.

If Lu Guang had a new best friend--and he would, he has many years ahead of him, and so much love to spread around--he would learn to love things he hadn't indulged in before. Maybe his new best friend introduces him to Korean food. Maybe they share a tradition, like exchanging homemade dumplings during the holidays, or hiking a new mountain every summer. Maybe they teach him about species of jellyfish, or the history of the Smurfs, or how to say curse words in Russian. I think it would happen so slowly, so naturally, he doesn't realise how new it all is to him until he sits back and wishes he could tell Cheng Xiaoshi about all of it, because he misses sharing a life with his friend.

Maybe they met on the basketball court, but I don't think so. I don't think Lu Guang has touched a basketball in a while, and his new best friend is a bit asthmatic so it all works out. But at one point they'll be passing a court and a couple of kids ask them to throw back a runaway ball. Lu Guang will shoot it across the chain link fence with surprising arm and ease, and his new best friend would say, I didn't know you could play basketball!

Not for a while, Lu Guang would say. My friend and I used to play a lot when we were in school.

The new best friend would have an inkling that he means the one who died, the one whose name Lu Guang mentions only to his intimates, and it'll take some time before they are included.

It might take a year or two to learn the name of Lu Guang's deceased friend. Cheng Xiaoshi. Lu Guang shared it as if it were made of gossamer glass. He missed saying it as much as he missed hearing it as much as he was terrified that he would fall apart as soon as he said it. But once he said it, he starved to tell his new best friend again, and again, and again. Cheng Xiaoshi. His name was Cheng Xiaoshi. I had a best friend named Cheng Xiaoshi.

They're a little nervous to say it, sometimes, because there are little opportunities to need it. They never met Cheng Xiaoshi before. They have no mutual friends except for Lu Guang. It feels shy, almost unearned, and yet the first time they say Cheng Xiaoshi's name (my old roommate--oh, was it Cheng Xiaoshi?) Lu Guang's heart skips a beat. He was here, Lu Guang remembers. He was here once, and he existed, and all of this missing isn't just my imagination.

(Do you have a picture of him?) Tons. Well, stupid ones. He liked taking photos more. Um. Here. You can scroll around.

(He looks so joyful.) He was. ...you know, this one time, he and I went on a trip and...

(He sounds like such a funny guy.) You have no idea. He used to always laugh at this joke about a cucumber that...

(You really love him.)

(I wish I had gotten to meet him.) I wish you did too.

[stubz]

"Can't you cut it off?"

"No I can't cut it off Zyz because unlike you my leg can't grow back."

"Yeah Max is a mammal. We just have to wait till Friday and it'll be all better."

"It'll be longer than Friday Tarlax, it won't be completely better till after the tri-eclipse festival."

*chorus of what's, groans, and other disapproving children sounds*

"But that's...1..2..4..6...7 weeks!"

"I thought you said you weren't hurt that bad!"

"YOU ALREADY RESTED FOR A WEEK!!"

"Yes but it'll still take a while for me to be able to play with you guys again. Right now I'm only able to keep an eye on you kids and help Kim out with crafts and non-physical things."

"But when Pollix broke his arm he was all better in 2 weeks, and my uncle Fenrir broke his foot but he's all better after 10 days."

"Listen kids, humans take longer to heal than most other species. And until then I can't play with you or else my ankle will just get worse."

"But why can't-!"

"Please just one-"

"Maaxx-"

"Come on-!"

"ENOUGH!" having enough of the kids guilt and nag her injured co-worker on his first day back ran the the other human's patience dry.

"Max fractured, broke, his ankle and you want him to run on it? You want him to carry you all while just standing for too long hurts him? You want him to make his injury even worse so that he can play with you?"

complete silence

"After all Max has done for you kids and still you demand that he bends over backwards to entertain you...terrible behavior, I am disappointed in you, all of you."

"...Sorry Miss Kim."

"I'm not the one you kids should be apologizing to."

*chorus of small whispered apologies to Max*

"I forgive you, but like Kim I'm disappointed in you. Now everyone go get your snack."

.

..

"Kay what's eating you?"

"...I feel bad for yelling at the kids now."

"I know but you and I know that was necessary."

"Yeah but I still don't like it."

"Sorry for making you do that. I should've put my foot down and lectured them instead of you."

"Well...to be fair you couldn't without losing balance or wrecking your ankle even more."

"Ha. ha. very funny."

"MAX!!" screams dozen of children and younglings.

"Holy shit!"

"FuuuACK ...damnit my ankle..." his body forgot that even while scared he should not be jumping.

"We got you stuff to help you get better faster!" one by one the children handed the humans jars, wrapped up food, beverages, medicines, and many other things that helped one's health on their respective planet.

"Wow, this is so thoughtful kids. Thanks."

"And thanks to my uncle Fenrir I know how you can play with us but also catch up in case of emergencies."

"Oh really? Is it some kind of scooter--ho crap! THOR PUT ME DOWN!"

"Does it hurt?? Athea, Pollix, come on!"

"Waitwaitwaitwait!"

"There! Not only can you move faster, but also your taller and we get to train our stamina and endurance like any good warrior."

"Kim. Help. Me."

"Are you in pain?"

"...actually no...it's surprisingly comfortable."

"then what's wrong?"

"this is against protocol."

"Dude we have like zero protocol here when it comes to playtime."

"..."

"Your scared of heights?" they ask raising a brow.

"In my defense not many 6'3 men can be carried like this..."

"Well considering your only 2 feet higher now I say we call this your exposure therapy. Carry on kids, but don't run with him unless he says so."

"KIM! DON'T LEAVE ME! I WILL EXPOSURE THERAPY YOU TO SPIDERS IN YOUR SLEEP FOR THIS!!"

"No you won't! Your too nice plus to make things even the spider would have to be small and in a container."

[signedaiko]

Hi! Could I uhhhhh,,,, request some MTMTE continuity about a gender neutral human liaison aboard the LL who struggles with social anxiety and has low self esteem, who's been isolating in their habsuite for quite a while because they convinced themselves that the bots aren't really interested in them (or straight up ignoring them). What bots (it's up to you to chose!! :D) would try to get them out of their shell and show them that they are actually well liked on board, and are actually worried about them since they haven't seen them in a while? (Also could it be possible for that request to be platonic?) Thanks a lot!!!

Brainstorm | Fort Max | Siren [MTMTE]

In which you've been isolating yourself, and they try to get you back out there.

Reader is: Gender Neutral | Human | Autobot. Platonic.

Brainstorm

What could this self-centred narcissist possibly notice about anyone else?

Turns out, he could notice the lack of their compliments, especially yours

You used to stop by at least once a day to ask him about his projects and tell him how cool they were, and he's really starting to miss that kick, even just three days without it

I mean, his schedule is slam-packed with... things... to go

But he SUPPOSES a little trip to the humans room couldn't hurt; he could work a bit of overtime today

You're not getting it sweet with him; oh no, Brainstorm is literally grabbing your whole mattress with you on it and taking you to the lab

Even if you protest and try to hide in the blankets, everyone can tell who's there

"Are they okay?' "Oh no, will they be okay?' 'Whoa, Brainstorm! Is that where the human went?'

Parading you back to his lab, you are forced to soak in every concern the others have before he plops you right back down on his desk

When you finally peek out, he's waiting for you, holding his newest invention

"Well, aren't you going to ask what I've been up to?"

Fort Max

It wasn't like him to worry too much about the others on board

But he had heard your name whispered by others, mostly in the form of concern and wonder as to where you'd gone

Something about it tugged at him, because he also missed having you check on him

It was about time he returned the favour, so even when you don't let him in, he squeezes himself into your too-small-for-him-too-big-for-you room to poke you out of bed

"Come on, human, you can't just lay there forever."

He's pulling all the lines you used on him back on you, urging you to stop whining and crawl out of the nest of blankets you'd been rotting in for a week

It's hard for him to get personal about it, but he can be strict

"You have ten minutes to get ready, or I'm taking you outside in whatever you're wearing."

Not really wanting your print pyjamas and stained graphic tee to be your reintroduction, you comply

He won't force the issue on anybody, but he will make sure to make it very obvious he's holding you so you receive every greeting possible

"Alright, Max, point taken."

Siren

It wasn't like you to avoid Swerve's so many nights in a row

And while he doesn't remember the last time the two of you spoke, probably because he was talking over you, he misses your company

He's just trying to coax you out of your room with kind words

Doesn't realize you only leave because he's literally yelling and everyone's staring

Earplugs in and noise-cancelling headphones on, you're ready to be in a room with him for even a moment

Siren uses as much of an inside voice as he can manage to ask what's up, and for once, he actually listens more than he talks

No one liking you? No way! You're the coolest! You're a whole other species worth of cool!

Encourages you to clean up and picks out an outfit for you to wear while you shower

Yes, it matches his paint job

Once you feel presentable, you're off; he's racing down halls in his alt, trying to get you to cling to him and jump you outta your shell

When you're at Swerve's, his announcement of your return is hard to miss

Everyone cheers and takes turns coming up to see you again, and Siren never leaves your side

If you feel your social battery run out, he's ready to get you home safely

Author's Note - I actually chose the bots I felt were the funniest/unlikely to try because thats the joy of life, you can do as you like in life!

I also love Siren

[threepandas]

Bad End: Preserve Us

You know how in conservation biology you sometimes try to introduce a pair to be mated and one will just... just fuckin' merc' the other? Just absolutely obliterate them in a hissing, growling, nightmare ball of fury? Before anyone can stop them? Territorial and (to put it lightly) "uninterested", dispite your desperate desire to save their species from extinction, and need for them to get frisky?

I know.

Holy SHIT do I know.

There's a lot of reasons. Ways you can (hopefully) get around it. But first? Is finding out WHY it happened. Was it just the one? The environment? Were they sick? Or... as is the case sometimes, did they decide their Handler was their mate? Some species only mate once. Are loyal for life. You gotta work around that.

Which is all well and fine and good.

When we're talking about ANIMALS.

Non-sentient, non-sapient animals! Not ALIEN SPECIES! What the ABSOLUTE FRESH HELL did they expect from me!? Compliance?! This was UNETHICAL! Monstrous! I had been trying to slip my gaurds long enough to radio for help SINCE I GOT HERE.

I hope the fuckers ROTTED in whatever their Gods considered a Hell.

"Conservation facility" my ENTIRE ASS. You can't run CONSERVATION EFFORTS like this on SENTIENTS. Eugenics loving, atrocity fetishizing, immoral BASTARDS!!! And they KNEW it too. They HAD too! Or they wouldn't be HIDING it! Fucking KIDNAPPING scientists! Biologists! Doctors!

I was on my ways to study Lekku monkeys!

God...

I'm? I'm so tired of being pissed.

Furious and outraged and SCARED. Horrified and sick. There are PEOPLE here. Kids! And I don't... oh god, I don't... H-How LONG has this been going ON? Why did no one NOTICE?

Every day I feel my heart break. The desire to scream and scream and never STOP, grow inside me. I have to get out. I have to get us ALL out. Get these people FREE. Do SOMETHING. But I am forced to "conserve" the species assigned to me. The group assigned to me.

It's killing my love for the field. Making a mockery of everything I worked for.

I don't... I don't think my hands will ever be clean again.

But I have to help. Do everything I can. Make hell a little kinder, if nothing else. At least while I figure out a way OUT. My group deserves better. The groups I do not work with, deserve better.

I disguise games as "testing". Pages and pages of meaningless numbers ans scores. INSIST that enrichment is the key to success. Diet is EVERYTHING. Oh, and habitat? Well unless we can mimic their habitat there's no WAY they'll "breed".

No, no, using machines would stress them out too much.

It's like you DONT want babies!

Who's the expert here? That's RIGHT! Dr. Cho, but FAILING her and like five other people? Me. And I know for a FACT they are pulling the same scam. We ALL fucking hate you. Dr. Cho has KIDS, you FUCKS. Hasn't seen her son in YEARS thanks to you bastards. He was engaged. She's probably missed his WEDDING thanks to you!

Getting distracted, spiraling again, gotta stop DOING that.

It wont help anyone.

But God, if my brain doesn't slowly feel like it's shorting out the longer I'm here. Stress is called the silent killer for a reason. Or what that something else? Fuck. I can't even look it up! Bastards cut us off from the galactic web. Full information blackout. Because of COURSE they did... can't risk us rightfully calling for help.

Getting the Feds involved to shut this hell pit of a black site DOWN. Or a "whatever it truely is" site. Because it sure as SHIT has nothing to do with conservational biology. Except maybe the abuse of it.

But that doesn't help me right now.

Focus, damn it!

The Yanderens. Old, absurdly rare, nearly extinct, with a home planet they'd reduced to uninhabitable wastelands millennia ago due too... something. No one knew what. There had definitely been fighting. It WAS documented they were excellent fighters. Ruthless ones at that. But it was ALSO documented they strongly pack bonded.

There had been a lot of strongly worded warnings on what few documation my captures were able to find, translate, then shove at me. But honestly? They said the same thing about humans. Ooooh big scary persistent hunters~ oh nooooo! Watch out for the omnivores with a history of war! Sins of the father and we are defined by our diets! Class systems! Let's all JUDGE each ooooootheeeeer~!

Yeah, no. Not buying it.

Especially when the "warnings" were so damn vague and poorly documented. All "the HORRORS!" and "we barely SURVIVED!". Cause honestly? The Yanderens I was watching over? Easily the most mild and temperate individuals I had ever met. No tantrums from the kids, no big emotional meltdowns, just curiosity and at WORST? Mild frustration.

It made everything ten thousand times worse for me, that these poor people were in this hellish place. They were calm. Curious. Meant for greater, BETTER things! They should be out, playing and learning. Exploring and enjoying peaceful strolls in some art gallery or zen garden somewhere! Not... not this sterile fucking LAB.

But then M-17 loses his SHIT.

And now I'm kinda panicking. Because F-6 is not just dead, God rest her soul (she didn't deserve this. Oh god. She was so SWEET.), but M-17 might just be too, soon. If I can't find out what HAPPENED. Because if he's "feral" or "diseased" or whatever other horrifying terminology they end up using? They DO something about it.

And I can't actually stop them.

I... I don't know if it was a trauma response. Or I did something wrong. I could PROBABLY pass it off as my needing more studies into their observed "mating habits"? That... that I somehow... turned it... uuuuh... dominance battle? Shit. Where are my notes?!

F-6 is DEAD and its all my fault.

She was such a cuddle fiend too. Always excited to hear about my studies, from before. My life. Wanted to join me after we got out of here. I never should have let her volunteer. Granted, she wouldn't have taken no for an answer. Wanted to spend the pregnancy plotting our escape. Asked me to help raise the kid once we got out. Had a whole grand plan. But I...And I...

God...

I should have said NO. Insisted. It was just so hard, when F-6 had made it all sound like it would be okay. Like she had a plan and all I need to do was trust her. Believe in her. Then we could be free.

I had hoped M-17 would work best. He was always the most agreeable and quick on the uptake. I figured... well... ha ha. God, I'm such an IDIOT. I should have CHECKED. Who KNOWS what happened before I arrived? What triggered I just accidentally rammed my foot into? FUCK! I sweep everything from me desk onto the ground. Don't give I shit that I'll have to clean it up later,

I had figured M-17 would be COOL with it.

This place is getting to me, isn't it?

Why the FUCK would anyone be COOL with getting jumped? Bred like an animal? Shoved in some random ass room, with a vaguely familiar stranger, and told "now fuck. We want a literal litter from you two"? All while some biologist watchs and makes god damned NOTES!?

Of course he fought back. OF COURSE he didn't stop!

The only one there he could trust was himself.

I...I'm becoming a monster... aren't I?

Oh god.

At least we're in the satellite facility. The gaurds are definitely going to rat me out, but the news will take time to filter back. And... and the Yanderens being so "dangerous" might work in my favor. I... I can spin this. I HAVE to spin this. I can't let TWO people die for my fuck up.

I promised myself I would get as many people out as I could. I refuse to back out now. Even if that means crying, puking, then going out there to lie my ASS off. This was TOTALLY NORMAL. In fact, expected! Yep! It means that's we've determined that M-17 is the alpha Yanderen! A thing that is both REAL and possible to BE!

I rinse my mouth, stomach empty. Crying has exhausted me. But I can't give up. Too many lives count on me now. I... I wish so badly I was just a nobody again. Just some random biology student, trying to make a name for herself. Being "important" is a CURSE.

I try not to chug my water as I half stumble out of the glorified shoebox that is my bathroom into the much larger and Fancier CLOSET that is my room. Truely, no expense spared, for the captives they ripped away from their lives. So glad I am here willingly and of my own volition.

I gather myself. Finally ready to go and try to untangle the mess I have made of everything. When a deep booming alarm rattles my bones. The lights flickering to red. Blast doors slide down, SLAM shut over the transparent recessed bit of wall that counts as my window, the door to the rest of the facility.

Trapping me inside my small room.

Almost immediately after, an EXPLOSION rocks the world hard enough to knock me from my feet. Only the bed's limited padding keeping me from a nasty concussion. The edge of it still ramming painfully into my shoulder. Another explosion. Then another. I sit for a long, terrible, second stunned.

The moment passes.

I scramble on my hands and knees for the in facility communication device that I had knocked from my desk in anger, grief. Not daring to stand lest I be thrown down again. I manage to find it as the world shakes again for the fifth time. Followed by what sounds like gun fire out in the halls.

I fling myself back towards my shitty little bunk. Drag every bit of padding and protection I can, down and under it with me. If the roof goes? I want shock absorption. If shots get through the door? I want something to slow those blasts down. Anything. ANYTHING! To increase my fucked chances of surviving.

I burrito up and wriggle back as deep as I can. The world muffled but ending just outside my crawlspace. Then I desperately try to get one of the others on the line. I got nothing but chaos. Running. Running. Hiding. And Dead.

Dead. Dying.

Remember me.

And GONE.

Some of them fighting with their groups too freedom. Some being targeted right along side their captors. Others savaged by the ACTUAL animals they had been working with, the one's Galacticly deemed too dangerous for effort like this. Someone or something had set EVERYONE free. A simultaneous attack on all fronts that our captors could not put down or escape.

The Yanderens were out there.

Oh god. Please let them be okay. They wer-

My thoughts ground to a halt as M-32 LAUNCHED his tiny body onto the screen of one of the security feeds I was desperately looking through. F-6 had figured out how to get us a backdoor to them a long time ago. M-32 was just a kid. A small, soft, cuddly little thing that loved to lean against me and crawl into my lap. All cherubic cheeks and cute little curls. Shy!

Yet I watched... in mounting horror... as like a lion on some unfortunate animal, he landed on a gaurds back. Small arms going around his body in a mockery of a hug. Head tilting so he could BITE at the back of the man's neck, small hands clawing and ripping at weak points in his armor, as he screamed. Thrashed. Tried desperately to get M-32 OFF of him.

There was so much blood.

My hands were shaking. So much, I accidentally hit the next screen button. Jerked my thumb back. But... but oh god. There was F-26. Using the butt of a rifle to slam down against the head of a scientist. Again and again and again. Long after the begging and thrashing stopped. I flipped again. M-4? No... please not M-4. Not the soft spoken and wise...

I watched as he grinned, a cold thing, and shot out another joint. His foot on the chest of the head scientist who had moved him to a different group. In the background, his supervisor lay dead. They had not died quickly. The head scientist was begging. A mess of tears and pain. M-4 shot another joint, pressing his foot down harder.

I wanted to be sick.

I flipped again. And again. And AGAIN.

H...Had I known them at ALL? Like demons wearing the faces of those I'd known. People I'd trusted. Not a SINGLE ONE was... oh... oh god. F-6. Had she been too? Would I have ever known? Was THIS what all those warnings meant? I couldn't think. Couldn't breath. Had... Had never had a panic attack but... BUT-!

I wheezed.

Shook.

"Oh, Clever giiiirl~" A familiar voice sang, before a blood splattered face flickered into being on the screen in my hands. "Where aaaare yoooou~?"

M-17. He'd somehow managed to take over the security cameras. That or the communication feed. His eyes were bright. A grin on his face like I'd never seen from him. ALIVE in a way I'd never seen him. The excitement transformed his face. No longer softly doll like, but something DANGEROUS. Unhinged. His eyes dilated and deadly teeth on display.

"Come out, come out wherever you aaaare~. I have so much to TELL you! We have so much to DO! I'm going to make you MINE sweetheart! No one else can have you. So come out. I won't hurt you much, I promise! Just gotta make you mine then we can leave okay~?"

Furious snarls echoed through the halls. Male and female alike. Old and young. I... I recognized each of those voices. What was HAPPENING?

"Aaaah? Did you TRASH really think you DESERVED her? Ha! Please." M-17 grin was cruel. Mocking. "You don't have a chance in hell of taking what's MINE."

His eyes seems to shift away from unseen enemies and back, somehow, to me. Warming to something euphoric. Resting his head on his hand as if to consider me. His fingers spread, stroking his own face, as if the desire to TOUCH was simply too great. As if what he was imagining was bleeding over into the real world.

"Oh clever girl~ my clever, clever girl~♡ I can't wait til it's just you and ME. Start think of where you want to go first, okay? We're going to get married. Have that child you wanted me for. All the things you ever dreamed~♡ I'm going to have you all to myself. No more annoying others. Ah~ can't wait to find you soon!"

"But first?"

"May the best of us Win."

[marvelmaniac715]

I like to imagine how things would've gone if Jo Grant was at UNIT during Power of the Doctor as well as Ace and Tegan. The way I see it, if the Master had seen Jo, his plan would've been completely derailed. He'd take one look at Jo and instantly revert to Delgado mode (I head canon that if a Time Lord hasn't seen somebody for multiple regenerations, if they meet up again then the Time Lord's personality will instinctively shift to the last incarnation that spoke to them), much more calm and polite. In fact, he'd start a perfectly civil conversation with her, and it would probably go like this:

"Well hello Miss Grant, what a pleasure it is to see you. I trust you're feeling well?"

"Actually, I'm not, today has been quite the ordeal."

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry to hear that, Miss Grant, is there anything I could do to ease your distress?"

"To be perfectly honest, you've caused the distress. This plan of your's isn't as sophisticated as your old ones - what happened to the glory days where you summoned gods and launched killer plastic stealth attacks?"

"Ah, well, you see Miss Grant, I'm afraid I've had to downsize the creativity of my takeover attempts after numerous attempts. My dear Doctor doesn't appreciate true artistry, it's a terrible shame."

"And another thing, why on earth are you working with the Daleks again? Those robot brutes have always been incredibly unkind to me, it feels like a personal insult that you've chosen to partner with them instead of a more civilised alien species."

"Think nothing of it, Miss Grant, no insults were intended, shamefully I'd quite forgotten about all the trouble you had with the pepper pots back in the day. After this is over, could I make it up to you? How about some tea? I'd make it - I got quite good at brewing tea in my last body - and it wouldn't be poisoned or at all unpleasant."

"Call off the plan and I'll think about it. I don't take tea with heartless villains."

"...You've put me in a rather tight spot here, Miss Grant. This plan has been very time and effort consuming, but I'd rather like to catch up with you over tea, so..."

"...I'll give you half an hour. We'll be having our tea in your TARDIS, I presume?"

"Quite so, Miss Grant."

And somehow, the Master has his entire scheme shut down in exactly twenty five minutes.

[ronearoundblindly]

I just want to start this off by saying you are one of my favorite Steve writers of all time I can’t believe I just randomly found you one day. Every time I read something I think “oh this is her best” and then I go to something else and literally the same reaction so thank you of sharing this for free. The comfort reading your Steve stories give me is unexplainable.

LOL the funniest thing is I found your works on ao3 first and at first I didn’t click the tumblr there so when I found the CEO au here I was like “um excuse me who tf is plagiarizing — oh wait no same person. Thank god”

So I don’t know how you feel about writing about pregnancy and kids but Steve having to deal with that especially in the Sun Salt and Shield AU is so hilarious to me. Is there a hc you have about that? Or just in general about them getting more serious. I love that you didn’t take the easy way out and just “Splash”ify the mermaid reader.

Um🥹😚, all of this is great, and I'm not trying to just skip over all your lovely compliments (also, good looking out on the plagiarism because that issue's going around again 🥲). I just want to jump right into the headcanon of pregnancy and kids for Sun, Salt, and Shield.

This is mostly rambling. Sorry it's not well-formed, but there *might* be a chapter of fic percolating from this. No warnings. No detailed talk of pregnancy or birth, only vague reference.

Just the other day I revisited an ask about MissG/Doll not having the more humanoid body of idk-what-to-call-them classical mermaids?? And I wondered if that (the classic look) could have been a blended species from way in the past between deep sea mermaids and humans--essentially, would Doll and Steve have children that looked more like what we typically see as mermaids?

It's an interesting train of thought, and, frankly, perfectly logical. If they had a kid or kids, that's likely how I'd do it.

However--and this is a big HOWEVER,--I am admittedly not a big fan of pregnancy, kidfics, and all that 'adorable' parenthood stuff. Sounds a little cruel that way, but there you have it. I'm me. I make things more complicated than they need to be.

I would make pregnancy a different experience from humans. Doll's kind would have a different mentality toward offspring than humans. Some hilarious and/or angsty misunderstandings could ensue.

For example--because I don't think too deeply into these matters, shhhh--based on the sheer size of her whole species, I don't think deep sea mermaids visibly look pregnant like humans. Their hips simply get wider and they sort of thicken all the way through their torsos to mid-tail. Honest to goodness, humans truly just think Miss G is getting fat, but just in a 'putting on weight' way, not a nasty judgy way. In this event, and since you/G do not have the vocabulary to explain, your pregnancy goes unnoticed until it is very advanced.

To you, this is a common inevitability in the sea between mates, but there isn't the type of hoopla--for lack of a better term--surrounding the process.

So you're pregnant? Big deal?

Ummmm, wow, the wheels are really starting to turn on this, but also your species doesn't have a calculated sense of time. You live in mostly darkness (and the ambient/changing light of other mermaids' tails), so you wouldn't have any real way of explaining how long gestation for a baby is. Likely, the kid would grow super fast, too. Means Tony still doesn't know the average lifespan of your species because there are no common/known markers to describe how long your 'elders' have been alive.

Stuff I haven't worked out yet: would the child of a deep sea mermaid and a human be able to live in either native environment? That's where I'm thinking the lower-depth, classic mermaid comes into play; still has fins, can breathe air for short periods (but longer than you), probably can't handle heavy pressure for very long though (since you spend far longer in a pool, not the pressure chamber asleep, than most deep sea-ers while pregnant), and is lighter colored in scales and features than you due to the shallower water (more affected by sunlight).

I do think it would be cute for the child to have Steve's blond hair and blue eyes simply because that is unheard of in your species (as are the paler scales and armoring. I should mention that since you have lavender eyes--i.e. very light sensitive--human blue eyes are comparatively dark.

You'll notice I'm not saying son or daughter. When newborn young...I don't think anyone can tell if the child is male or female. I don't thing G's species cares, and I think you'd be very confused by how intently Tony and Steve try to figure that out. Conceptually, it simply doesn't matter at all what sex the kid is until puberty, and even then...it still sort of doesn't??

Hmm. That's all I got on this for now, but I sense I could probably come up with some interesting angst with a happy ending from it.

Thank you for asking!

A/N: Not that it matters, but I love 'Splash.' I've learned that it's fine to explore fantastical things to all sorts of degrees, and as almost all of fandom can tell you, fluff is great, fluff is necessary, and fluff keeps us afloat. Big HOWEVER, it is not okay to wash away anyone's race or heritage (in this case--obviously fake--a species' culture). Be respectful. It's that easy.

[Main Masterlist; Light Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

@fandom-has-taken-me-hostage @leah2901 @blogbog710

[tigergirltail]

TIGER HRT CHAPTER 1 - MONTH MINUS 6 - THE CONSULTATION

The specialest of special thanks to @ayviedoesthings for creating the original Dragon HRT story, and a big shoutout as well to @kaylasartwork, @welldrawnfish, @nyxisart, and @deadeyedfae for their takes on the concept! Every one of you is inspirational, and your work gives me so much second-hand gender euphoria!

NEXT

---

"Miss Alexis, please come in."

I look around as I walk inside. Between the doctor being a balding middle-aged man and the office looking like any generic doctor's office, I'm honestly a little disappointed. I was hoping the infamous source of therian HRT would be a little more… I don't know. Exotic? Unique? I was half expecting the walls to have before and after photographs of clients, but I suppose when it comes down to it, this is a serious medical facility, not a beauty salon. I walk up to the desk and sit down in the chair.

"Now I understand you wish to be a… a tiger?"

I'm unable to suppress my euphoria at the idea, and I start grinning and nodding. "A white tiger! I haven't changed my fursona since I got one, it's about time I start embodying it!"

"Indeed… And I see on your medical history that you are transgender." He mutters under his breath, "Just like all the others…"

I give a little smirk. 'All the others' are the reason I'm here. If this guy is handing out meds that can turn people into dragons or fish or bats, then a tiger should be easy, right? It's a mammal, and not much bigger than a human, relatively speaking. I had even given some thought to the rumoured "Fifteen Minute Shortcut", but when it comes down to it, even if I did have the ungodly pain tolerance to withstand such a rapid transformation of my bone structure and musculature, I… don't really want to do it quickly. Mundane HRT has already been such an absolute gift in terms of euphoria from noticing the slow and gradual changes, I want to keep that up. I want to notice the little things.

"Now I'm afraid there are some requirements to be settled first…"

Oh boy. Here comes the bureaucratic bullshit. Everything that's been put in place to make sure Our Children don't Make A Terrible Mistake. When it comes down to it, bodily autonomy only counts when you're not one of the weirdos. The instant you decide to be capital-d Different, people start falling over themselves trying to talk you out of it.

"First of all, I see that you have been taking human hormone therapy for a little over six months. We do require a full year of human treatment before beginning therian treatments, and I'm afraid that is fully non-negotiable. There are matters of biology that require the body to be a certain degree of… receptive."

I was afraid of this, but at least it's not a deal-killer. Another half-year is bearable, even if I am going to be shaking with anticipation the entire time.

"I also see you have letters from a practicing physician and a social worker, but we do require a second psychologist to be involved in the process."

Okay. Absolute horseshit, but not impossible. All I've got to do is find another social worker or psychologist. And pay them for several months of sessions. And hope they don't decide I'm crazy for wanting to throw away my humanity. I can feel my expression souring…

"It's also required to live as your desired species for at least a year before beginning the process."

"What." I'm leaning forward and glaring at the doctor before I fully realize it. "And how exactly am I supposed to do that, without the… the requisite biology, or the inborn instincts, or the… the habitat!" I let out a frustrated growl. "Am I supposed to fly off to India or Bangladesh or somewhere, and start camping out in the wilderness??"

"Miss Alexis, please, I'm afraid these are… are the requirements set forth by the guidelines of -"

"Guidelines!" I slam a palm down on the desk between us, before letting out a frustrated breath. "Just that… Guidelines. You know, and I know, that a lot of people have come to you already, with a lot more… exotic requests. Flying animals? Aquatic animals? A fucking DRAGON??"

The doctor seems taken aback, maybe he didn't expect this level of resistance.

"What is even the natural habitat of a dragon anyway? Or the diet? Or the behaviours in the wild?? It's a mythical creature for gods' sakes, there's no firm evidence they even existed!!" I stare at him, unblinkingly, with what I dearly hope is a predatory glare. "But I do get it, though. You have to be absolutely sure I won't regret it. Liability, or whatever. …Maybe we just need to know how hard I can BITE."

Something changes in his expression. ...Malice? No, not quite. A sort of… satisfaction, maybe.

It was a test. He wanted to know whether I'd just roll over and accept the impossibility of my quest, or whether I was prepared to fight for it.

Joke's on him, just getting human HRT was such a godsdamned hassle, I already know how to fight.

He adjusts his glasses. "Perhaps there is something I can do for you… Let me get you some forms."

[askinkiskarma]

Illicit Affairs | Chapter II: Right Where You Left Me

Pairing: Neteyam x Human!Reader (later Avatar!Reader)

Chapter I Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter VIII Chapter IX Chapter X

Synopsis: You were one of two kids stuck on Pandora after the war took all the Sky People back to Earth. After a series of events left deep scars behind, you are now forced to deal with your trauma - and your lingering resentment towards Neteyam - head-on.

Warnings: angst, mentions of death, blood, injury

Word Count: 4,7k words

A/N: So I didn't expect the last chapter to do so well, but I am happy so many people enjoyed it. I have really enjoyed writing this and I am happy to say I am almost done with Chapter III, as well. I am feeling all the feels doing this, and I hope you do, too.

“I cause no harm, mind my business If our love died young, I can't bear witness And it's been so long But if you ever think you got it wrong … I'm right where you left me”

The next couple of weeks were uneventful. You haven’t seen Lo’ak since that afternoon, although Kiri’s dropped by a couple of times to keep you company while you worked. Getting her to put on a lab coat and goggles was an adventure in itself, but she eventually relents and does as she’s told. 

She’s shooting you a sly smirk as you are busy pipetting a reagent on your samples under an aseptic hood. “Your birthday’s coming up soon, do you have any plans?” You could hear the smile in her voice, which you found odd. You pushed the feeling aside. Kiri’s odd, and the things that bring her amusement sometimes elude you, and you love her for it. 

“Oh yeah, big party planned, I was thinking pres in the gym, then main party in the dining area and a wild after party in the lab.” You roll your eyes. Birthdays seem fun in movies and TV shows, but it really isn’t the same stuck in a tiny confined space with nothing to do. You were turning 18. Not of much significance to you, although this birthday does seem to hold some relevance back on Earth. 18 is the age you become an “adult”, where you become legally allowed to do all sorts of human things, like drink, smoke, vote, be held liable for your actions (this one still confuses you), get married, drive and so much more. It seemed strange to you that so much weight was placed on this day, and you wondered if when the clock struck midnight a few days from now, you will feel different, like something in your brain will click and you will have answers to all the questions you have been silently asking yourself at night. 

“Thought so. Well, we do have a surprise for you.” She says, still smiling from ear to ear.

Has everyone you loved collectively decided to forget that you hate surprises? With a groan, you got up from your chair, removed the samples that you quickly placed back in an incubator, shut the hood and motioned for Kiri to follow you out of the lab. 

It was later than you expected when you finished, and you knew Kiri would have to leave soon so she can make it back home in time for curfew. 

“Anywayyy…” she says, refusing to let your sour mood damper her own, “I was thinking you could join us at the home tree for your birthday party. The family prepared something for you and you haven’t visited in so long, everyone misses you, especially Tuk.” 

“Kiri…” You wanted to go, and were touched that it seems that the family actually wanted you around, but you were scared. You knew it was stupid, but deep down the guilt of what your species did, what your own dad might have done, eats at you every night. You knew that whilst the Sullys and maybe other Na’vi as well were more than welcoming, others regarded you as a curse, an alien with demon blood that should have been sent to her dying world long ago. You couldn’t deal with knowing your very existence was a reminder of their lost family, their destroyed home, their battle scars. 

“Come onnn, girl, you can’t spend every damn day of your short human life in this place. I mean, I like this place, don’t get me wrong, but if I had to spend every minute of the day here, I’d kill myself. I mean the foooood, the artificial lightinnggg, the stuffy aiiiiir…” she dramatically dragged every word to make her point, and despite everything, you couldn’t really argue with her. 

“I’m not leaving ’til you agree.” 

“I mean I just have to wait long enough that curfew begins, and I’m pretty sure I’m gonna see you run out of this place leaving a Kiri-shaped hole in the wall of the lab.” you said, laughing at the frown that settled on her face at your stubborness. “Fine, Kiri, my God, I will be there.” 

“Yay! Thank you, you won’t regret it, I promise!” You couldn’t help crack a smile at her enthusiasm, and you hugged your friend that was sitting on a chair, short enough this way to enable you to do so. 

“Do you want to see Grace before you go?” 

You forget sometimes Kiri isn’t Jake and Neytiri’s biological daughter. I wonder if they forget, too. Kiri is a miracle child, of sorts. Born out of Grace’s avatar, she was like a gift from Eywa herself. She always visits her Ma when she comes to see you.

Kiri shifts uncomfortably in the chair, prompting you to raise an eyebrow. Strange, you think to yourself. 

“No, I should really go, I don’t want to be late getting home and I want to pick some herbs I saw on the path on the way here. I think they’ll be good for the illness going around.” 

You wanted to push, but decided to let it go. You couldn’t blame the girl for maybe not wanting to be reminded that as well as Spider and yourself, she, too, was an outsider. 

You said your goodbyes, and deciding against dinner with everyone in the lab, you made your way back to your room. You picked a book from the shelf of your mum’s old book collection; another thing that apparently became obsolete on Earth with time, your mum revelled in collecting them. She said the only way to properly experience a story is with a physical copy of it in your hands. You agreed. There were a lot of electronic copies of books in the directory, and while you spent so much of your life dedicating yourself to them, nothing compared to the feeling of holding a book, that you know has been held and experienced by another human. You found notes and dried up tears on the pages of these books even to this day, and every time, it brings you closer to your mum, to your grandparents, to a home you’ll never know for yourself. You fell asleep with one of the poems you read that night still fresh in your mind. 

“I felt a Funeral, in my Brain,

And Mourners to and fro

Kept treading - treading - till it seemed

That Sense was breaking through -“

You woke up in the forest. You recognised the place immediately. Secluded from the village and near enough to the lab that even a child could find their way back, it was the perfect hiding spot for little Y/N. You didn’t go there anymore, you’ve barely allowed yourself to even think about it these days, but your dreams spoke to something deep inside you, a yearning you couldn’t drown out no matter how hard you tried. You looked towards the clearing, where the riverbank was almost unrecognisable past the foliage and rocks and allowed yourself a moment of respite. You were startled by a high pitched laugh, and turned your head towards its origin. A little girl, no older than 10, was running towards the bank holding on to an oxygen mask pack, giggling as she looked behind her to an emerging second figure. She was so happy, so…alive. 

Her eyes were glossy from unshed tears, happiness so loud it expressed itself physically. A second child emerged from the shadows, just behind where you stood. A boy, tall and blue, with the same innocence behind his eyes, quickly caught up to where the girl now lay on a rock by the river. 

“I won, Neteyam! I beat you!” The girl says, panting, laughing and crying all at once. The boy’s expression softened, and as he took his place next to the girl on the rock, gave her a small smile.

“You did! I didn’t try that hard, though. I want a rematch.” 

“You’re on!” 

The two kids sat in silence for awhile, enjoying the peace and quiet, the hushed whisper of the water and the bustling chirping of insects and birds hidden from view. 

“I have something for you.” The boy suddenly said with a gummy smile. 

From behind his back, he retrieves a bracelet. It was green, made up of numerous beads and tiny rocks that complemented each other so well, it seemed they were put on this planet for the very purpose of adorning a Na’vi’s body. 

You recognised the bracelet and the sight of it tugged at your heart. You felt your eyes tear up and cursed your mind for putting you through this again. 

“This is like your bracelet!” The tiny girl says, with a wide smile. 

“Yes, I told ma I lost mine and asked her very nicely to make me another and she did! I want you to have it. This way I have one and you have one. Just you and me.” 

Just you and me. Just you and me. Just you and me. 

You woke up in tears, eyes locked on the bracelet in question that was still residing on your nightstand. You didn’t wear it anymore, but couldn’t find it in your heart to part with it fully. It now lay next to your head, a bitter reminder of yet another road not taken. You cursed Neteyam for coming back into your life, if only briefly, just to resurface hurt you are yet to deal with or even acknowledge fully. You curse him for the bracelet, and the memories and yet another pain you have to deal with on your own. Always on your own.

The next few days went by in a blur. You spent the days buried in work, and the nights exercising and field stripping weapons. You refused to think, or sleep, or read or play music or really anything to would give your heart the opportunity to take over again. You passed out last night in the gym, but it was a dreamless slumber, which you were grateful for. This night was your last night at 17. You were waiting patiently for the clock to strike midnight as you were finishing up your last experiment for the day. You glanced at the clock, once, then twice, then three times. Eventually, it happened. And then nothing. No answers, no epiphanies, no nothing. Disappointed, but not entirely shocked, you chuckled at yourself for thinking life would give you an easy way out. After all, it never did. A little after 1AM, you made your way to your bed. You took one last look at your empty nightstand, then passed out. 

“HAPPY BIRTHDAAAAAAY!!!” 

Your entire body snapped in an upright position at the sudden auditory onslaught. Your face settled in a deep frown as you were trying to make sense of the scene in front of you. At the edge of your bed on all sides were people. Kiri, Lo’ak, Norm, Max and Spider. They all had big smiles on their faces, a big contrast to your own. You actively tried to remove the frown from your features, and found it easy enough when you realised these people, these people you loved were here, for you. 

“Thanks guys. Anyway, could I get some privacy so I can put some clothes and thank you properly??” 

With a grunt that definitely came from Lo’ak, they all left you to get ready for the day. When you appeared in the dining room, you found a big basket filled with incredible Pandoran food, and you were happy to see your favourites as the most prominent. 

“Oh my GOD, Banana fruitsss!! How did you guys find these??” 

“Lo’ak may or may not have spent an inordinate amount of hours waiting for a couple to drop out of the push fruit tree that grows a few clicks from the village.” Kiri said, laughing and poking Lo’ak sides with her fingers.

You felt a lump in your throat form at the admission. God, you were so grateful for this boy. You could live a thousand lives and still not deserve him. Feeling you getting emotional, he dropped to his knees and opened his arms. You made your way to him and hugged him, as tightly as you could. You were not great with words, but you put all of your unspoken thoughts in that hug. Your size difference made both of you snicker, and with one last tug, you let go.

“Thank you, guys. You are great, really, I couldn’t ask for better people to be around today.”

“Come on, let’s eat. We have big plans awaiting.” 

“Sing!!” 

You spent the morning eating and talking, Lo’ak complaining about the training and the ass kicking he got from his dad after your last meeting. You were laughing at his exaggerated manner of speaking, excited to finally have him around to get you out of your funk. 

“You guys always want me to sing, you need to pay me if you’re gonna treat me like a jukebox, you know?” 

You picked up the guitar that Norm brought for you out of the recreation room. You took it in your arms and strummed the chords, making sure they were tuned correctly. You thought long and hard about a song, and you found it eventually, buried in your brain, along with the memory of your mum singing it to you as a child with tears streaming down her face. 

“… Did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen?

Time went on for everybody else, she won't know it

She's still 23 inside her fantasy

How it was supposed to be"

You felt the tears coming, but you willed them away. Your heart was strong, but it couldn’t contend with your mind. You continued, pouring all of your frustrations with Neteyam, with yourself, with this life in the song.

Time went on for everybody else, she won't know it

She's still 23 inside her fantasy

Did you hear about the girl who lives in delusion?

Break-ups happen every day, you don't have to lose it

She's still 23 inside her fantasy and you're sitting in front of me"

You looked across the room and felt weird, sick ecstasy at the faces of the people around you, all of which looked sad and glossy-eyed. You didn’t want to make anyone sad, but you loved the power that music held. You loved that it brought people together, no matter the species, the language, the tone, the mood, you could always rely on music to provide unison.

If our love died young, I can't bear witness, and it's been so long

But if you ever think you got it wrong, I'm right where you left me

As you played the last chord of the song, you looked up and froze at the sight of Neteyam sitting by the door of the room, an unreadable expression marking his features. You registered people talking in your direction, but couldn’t decipher the words as you lay there, on the ground, guitar in hand, staring at the beautiful boy who did not allow your eyes to leave his own. You swear you saw a flicker of sadness in his big, yellow eyes you used to know so well, but as you were trying to decipher them, Spider’s oh-so-human face flooded your line of sight. 

“Hello!! Earth to Y/N”

“It’s concerning how many times this happens”, Lo’ak intercepts.

You finally focus on the people who have come here for you, and put the guitar down with a small laugh.

“Sorry, guess I got way too into the song.”

“Yeah, what the hell’s up with that? It’s your birthday, it’s supposed to be a celebration and you’re making us depressed, instead.” Spider says, frowning. 

“Sorry!” You whine, hoping the childish tone would earn a quicker forgiveness. 

They all somehow roll their eyes simultaneously, which you find amusing.

“Mum and dad say it’s time.” It takes a second for your brain to register the Na’vi sentence. The deep voice breaks through the chatter and everyone turns their heads towards the oldest Sully sibling. 

“Right!” Lo’ak says, patting his knees and getting up suddenly. “Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!’

You knew it was dumb, but you were nervous, too nervous, to make your way to the Home Tree after so much time. It’s been years since you have been there, maybe since you’ve been anywhere, and it scared you more than you wanted to admit to yourself, or to anyone around you. Nevertheless, you put on your mask and secured your oxygen cartridge behind your back. 

You bid a swift goodbye to Norm and Max, who said they will try to make it to the celebration later in the evening. You then stepped outside, eyes finding it hard to adjust to the natural brightness of Pandora. You found the mask uncomfortable, having been so long since you needed it last, and took a deep breath in your attempt to calm down and take it one step at a time. 

Lo’ak was, as always, Neteyam thought, leading the pack. Spider followed suit and you and Kiri maintained a steady pace behind the two boys. Neteyam was quietly walking behind you. He was deep in thought, not being able to shake the image of you playing guitar and singing that song he had never heard before. He hasn’t heard you sing in so long and hearing it again opened a hole in his chest that he thought was long closed. His eyes followed you closely, taking in all the details about you he hoped he wouldn’t notice. Your hair was lighter than he remembered, not by much, but enough that it was there, present for him to see. You were tall, taller than you used to be, and taller than most human women he’s seen. You were wearing a skirt, he thinks it’s called, that flows every time the wind touches it. It’s black and it looks soft, and Neteyam can’t help but want to feel it for himself. Your top is braided and beaded, and it seems like a mix between human clothes and Na’vi wear. You back is completely bare short of a string that ties the top together and the man feels his heart picking up pace at the sight. Cursing under his breath, he moves his gaze on a piece of jewellery adorning your arm. A intricate bracelet, green and red, definitely Na’vi make. He remembers briefly Kiri making it for one of your previous birthdays and smiles sadly at the thought. Finally, his eyes settle on a deep scar on the back on your left leg. Before he can help himself, the memories flood his being…

Neteyam found himself once again, waiting outside the big metal building for you to come out. He was excited for today, too excited to put into words. It always took convincing for you to come out, especially recently, but he loved that you said yes to him, and not to Lo’ak or Kiri, for once. He knew you have been sad for a while, and was happy to do anything in his power to help. He jumped out of his skin when the door opened, and you laughed at him for being what you called a “scaredy cat”. 

“I’m happy to see you, Neteyam”, you said, in Na’vi. He smiled to himself at your accent, but loved how hard you tried to speak to him in his own tongue. “Not happy you’re dragging me out, but if it means spending some time with you, I guess I will let it slide” You continued in English.

“I think you will be happy to be out for this”, Neteyam interjected. You walked together in comfortable silence, only speaking when you found a plant or animal you didn’t know the name of. 

“Oh my God, this is so pretty, what’s it called?” You ask, enthusiastically.

“A’o” Neteyam answers you, smiling softly, never getting bored of your incessant line of questioning. Like with the language, he was just happy you cared. 

“What are you wearing?” Neteyam asks, unable to stop himself. 

“Oh, this?” You say, looking down at your choice of attire. “It’s just an old T-shirt I found in one of the drawers of the living quarters. I’m not sure whose it is, but I assume a big old man’s, cause it’s more a dress than a t-shirt at this point.” 

“A T-shirt…” Neteyam said, contemplatively. He looked at it closer and saw an image he couldn’t quite understand on it and the word “Metallica” written on it. He didn’t know what it meant, so he dropped it. At least he learnt a new word today. 

You walked like this for over an hour, but eventually reached the end of a cliff, that overlooked a beautiful waterfall. Neteyam thought this sight alone will make you feel better, but he had bigger plans in mind. 

“Wow, this is beautiful! This was almost worth the fresh hell I felt when that bug went in my nose like 20 minutes ago.” 

Neteyam laughed, and he revelled in the way only you seemed to be able to make him feel like this. Free and alive. 

Standing on the edge of the cliff, Neteyam let out a high pitched yell, then turned around to look at you with a mischievous gleam in his eyes. He smiled as he heard the trees on the other side of the cliff ruffle, and watched with pride as a big bundle of green, yellow, red and blue emerged from the foliage and landed in front of him. He turned to you and let out a big laugh when he saw your face, jaw dropped in horror and amazement, eyes wide with the glint of curiosity he’s come to love so much. 

“You did it!! I’m so so so proud of you, Neteyam!” You screamed, running at him and launching yourself as high as you could, knowing he would catch you in his arms. “And at 13, too! This has to be some sort of record, right?” 

“I doubt it, but it still felt good doing it. I was shocked Mum and Dad even let me try it. Anyway, I wanted you to meet her.” 

He swung you in his arms with ease, not weighing a lot more than his baby sister, who was just around 3 years old. He finally placed you back on the ground with care, right in front of the Ikran. He made tsaheylu and waited patiently as you were building it up the courage to approach the mighty being that was lowly cooing and nudging its head against Neteyam’s. He felt his heart skip a beat at the sight of your beautiful face, and said a silent prayer, thanking Eywa for still being able to bring that expression to your otherwise crestfallen figure. 

Once it seemed you became comfortable enough around her to pet, he clicked his tongue and motioned for you to get on. You let out an incredulous laugh and shook you head.

“No way in Hell, are you insane??” 

“Come on, Y/N. I never pegged you for a coward.”

After this many years, he knew how to push you buttons. He saw your smile drop and your eyes take on that expression that almost frightened him. Thank the Great Mother you were human, cause you would be a force to behold as a Na’vi. 

“Damn you, Neteyam.” You said, slowly getting up on the banshee and making yourself comfortable in front of the boy. He felt your back flushed against his bare chest, and suppressed a shudder that threatened his body. 

“It will be fun, you will see. Here, hold on here, and don’t let go. I will have my arms around you at all times, and I promise to make her go slowly.” You refused to acknowledge him, and he found himself laughing, again. 

Without any other words, he willed the ikran to take off. You let out an involuntary yelp, but otherwise you were brave and strong, just like he knew you to be. Once you were above the forest, he found you staring in awe beneath you, his gaze locked on the side of your face and on the smile that made him happy to be alive at the same time as you, just so he can experience it over and over. You flew like this for a long time, just taking in the beauty of this world that you both called home. A beauty that he knew you never got to experience, not the way you should have, not the way you deserved. He saw a tear escape your eyes and make its way down your cheeks and settle in between your lips, and cursed himself for not being able to take it away, the pain he knew clawed at you every waking moment since your mum died. You have never been the same since. 

“Thank you for this, Neteyam.” You said, softly. “I wish there was a way to show this to her, a way to share this experience. I know she would have loved it as much as I do, maybe more.” You settled comfortably on his chest and sighed. 

He didn’t get a chance to formulate a response, though, as a loud shriek came from his Ikran and he felt the panic overtake him as the tsaheylu made the feeling echo in between them. Looking up, he saw what no man wants to see: Toruk, his dad’s former pet, launching itself at the two teenagers and their ikran. Clearing his mind, Neteyam removed a hand from the reigns for balance and banked left abrubtly, diving straight for the trees, that were fortunately not too far below them. As if life suddenly stopped to a halt, he was able to experience the next harrowing moments in slow-motion - the diving, the terror of watching your frame slowly disappear from his line of sight, your voice screaming his name as you dropped towards the ground, his own voice getting caught in his throat trying to call for you, willing his Ikran to go faster than he thought was possible in an attempt to catch you, the pool of red liquid spilling from your frame as you impaled your leg on a broken Pxiut hitting the ground. He quickly removed himself from the Ikran and ran to you, picking you up in his arms, trying to ignore the way the blood was spilling down his torso and dripping on the ground. He looked at your unconscious body in his arms and felt the first crack in his heart form, a crack yet to be healed to this day. He pushed back the tears that were starting to pool and got back on the Ikran, flying as fast as he could through the foliage. As soon as he could see the outline of the metal building, he stopped the animal and got off, running with you in his arms. It’s all a blur afterwards. He remembers going home, your now-dried blood still marking his skin like a tattoo, he remembers crying in his mum’s arms, he remembers the guilt that poisoned his mind and heart and he remembers sitting on a cold floor next to what humans called an operating room, waiting to hear if the damage he has caused you will plague you for the rest of your life.

His eyes never left the scar on your leg, and, as he forced himself out of the torturous memory, couldn’t help noticing the slight limp with which you walked towards the village.

Crack. 

Tag list :-): @mashiromochi

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s3 episode 22 thoughts

this episode was SO good. it was funny, it was heartfelt, and it was entertaining. but- and i'm sure you fans who have seen the show before know- something happened that is making me cry.

yes, actual tears! boy, there must be some real serious astrology stuff going on in the world, for actual tears are down my cheeks, something that almost never happens to me in movie and film watching experiences, and this episode did it to me. i usually just get a bit misty and that's the extent of it- even in one breath! but man. apparently i have a weakness.

sigh. we shall get into it, like we do.

reading the episode description: it's loch ness monster-like creature time!! i’ve been eyeballing this episode for a while, it sounds really interesting. a lake trip!! a trip to the lake!! 

we begin, and it is frog time!!! time for a frog!!! an endangered frog!!! dr. farraday is fighting for their rights. oh, he just used the term “frog holocaust” in his talk to this dr. bailey fellow, which is something. serious frog beef going down between these professors, for dr. bailey does not think that dr. farraday's research proves that humans are responsible for the fate of the frogs! how infuriating.

dr. bailey is going back to his car but lost “his beeper” so he’s looking by the lake for it. OH! his beeper meant a pager. i know what a pager is!!!! do not think i am uneducated!!! just never heard it called as such.

he finds the beeper but he is EATEN. by a BEAST!!! while a frog watches. 

if only this was the fate that all people who deny the need to protect the environment met! eaten by a lake beast! how much more just this planet would be...

intro time. and the first time i watched an episode and i heard the theme i started laughing hysterically because i didn’t realize that noise was the x files theme; i had just thought it was a well-known spooky noise used in vines and stuff and then. everything clicked into place. and it was soooo funny. anyway.

road trip to georgia!!!! WITH THE DOGGY!!! mulder calls it “a thing” SO RUDE????

“you wake me up on a saturday morning, tell me to be ready in five minutes, my mother is out of town, all of the dog-sitters are booked, and you know how i feel about kennels” <- help i’m CRYINGGGGG tell him how you feel!!!!

(love that they have already had a conversation on the morality of kennels before)

((but also truly what did he expect 😭😭 and he did all this on a SATURDAY!!!! she ought to have been way meaner!!!))

so he made her leave town with the puppy on a SATURDAY for a missing person’s case… omg do they even get paid overtime???

also mulder is lost which is soooo funny because WHY is he perpetually behind the wheel... he doesn’t have any sense of direction!!!

he makes a stupid pun about the killer being “large” and she straight up asks what he’s leaving out LMAOOO

(he points to a billboard advertising “big blue, the southern serpent) <- “oh, tell me you’re not serious” LMAOOOO

so they’re going to talk to dr. farraday and i think it’s so cute that scully is in some more casual-y clothes. anyway, they’re going over the serious frog beef between him and the victim. farraday does NOT miss dr. bailey’s loser ass... ijbol!!! why should he give a damn for one man when so many species are going extinct!

farraday said “has anyone ever told you two you have a great problem coming to the point?” after mulder asks if any native species attacked humans... lmao he is rude as hell!!!

AND ASKING ABOUT BIG BLUE MADE THINGS WORSE!!! now farraday is going on about how if anything requires real thinking people turn to UFOs and whatnot which is like.... um okay rest assured that if someone is gonna think it’s gonna be mulder. he's gonna think about any and all explanations on a sliding scale of plausibility.

LMAO mulder is being sassy right back while scully screams with her eyes. farraday gets even more pissed and leaves… honestly i’m sorry about the frog population king, but you’re not really winning any friends with influence to help you lobby on behalf of the frogs. or winning any friends at all. 

so mulder and scully and the doggy go to a bait and tackle shop, and the sight of them sharing an umbrella with a dog on a leash healed something in me, something i didn’t know was in need of healing but it was. and they’re reciting the different creatures that live in lakes- apparently scully read about cryptids as a kid!!!! 

she says they’re folk tales and he says “well, how many folktales do you know that can eat a boy scout leader and a biologist?” and she looks soooo annoyed. but then they go in, and he is a proper gentleman and shakes off the umbrella 

at the shop they see a “scale from big blue” and scully says it looks like “a carapace, something from a beetle” which again reminds us that she WAS studying bugs in bio, thank you very much!!

they’re chatting with the dude that sold mulder a map, and he’s talking about his own experience with the creature while wearing a hat that says “show us your bobbers” which is crazy, but we keep going. he claims he heard a cow get eaten by big blue as a kid. and in walks an alleged expert, ansel… whose daddy’s cow was eaten way back then!

ansel is buying more film to someday achieve his dream of catching a picture of the beast and scully looks deeply pained in the background lmaoooo i love her 

someone is putting a worm on a hook in order to fish on the lake. a big one bites!!! a real big one. OH! it’s actually a human body. the fisherman goes and gets the dude from the tackle shop and by proxy our agents.

OH! there is only half a body. they’re bickering on what could have eaten half of a human body while hiding together under an umbrella, and it’s really cute but where is the dog?

the tackle shop man is out in the swampy part near the lake wearing dino-shaped boots to try and make some convincing tracks LMAO. king of the hustle. but something approached him as he gets stuck in the mud!!!! and he is dragged into the dark lake with only a dino boot left behind!

apparently his name was ted. rip ted and your bobber hat and funny boots.

mulder seems to believe that the tracks are legit and tells scully and the dog to watch where they’re walking as to not disturb them (and the dog is named queequeg i’m gonna CRY!!!) 

the sheriff is OFFENDED by mulder’s suggestion to close the lake, because clearly this is just a bunch of drunk people falling overboard!! and then getting run over!! well if that happens as frequently as you seem to think it does, we need to do something regardless of if any beasts are involved.

scully is not buying that the tracks are from a real creature because they did not leave very deep impressions. but the dog yanks her away!!! he’s off investigating the dino boot! the prints may be a hoax, but the blood on the shoe is very real!

cut to some stoners on the lake talking about hallucinogenic toads. he holds a local frog and licks it. but someone interrupts his toad licking session coming back to the surface from a scuba dive?

oh no!! scuba dude is pulled by some sort of creature!!! and his head is removed from his body. well that is not good.

time to locate the head. both of our agents are in fun little jackets, and still bickering over what went down.

ansel the big blue photographer is serenading his camera, preparing for the perfect shot, which he has set up by filling an inner tube with meat. something bubbles beneath it. BUT NO!! it skips the meat on the tube and goes right for him!!!!! he snaps a picture as it gets him!! three attacks in one day!!!!

mulder asks the sheriff again to CLOSE DOWN THE LAKE and he again refuses. scully says it’s inconclusive still, which is echoing the dr. bailey saying about the fate of the frogs being inconclusive!

the sheriff falls in, and out there he brushes into something big. he immediately proclaims that the lake shall be closed down, calls state police, AND wildlife fish and game. well okay that gets results i guess.

they’re examining the photos from ansel, and mulder things that this blurry thing COULD be a tooth. it is very funny.

AWWW the dog needs to go for a walk, and mulder offers to go with her :,) she lifts up her jacket to show her gun, says she’ll be fine, and smiles. STOP I LOVE THEM SO MUCH?????

why is this episode making me emotional with their little lake visit. also something bad is definitely going to happen now. she says goodnight :,)

aww the dog is MAD and she’s talking to him in that kind of voice you reserve for a little creature... but he wants to go into the woods!!

no!!! he runs too fast!!! NO!!!!! WHERE DID HE GO???? HE ISN’T ON THE LEASH????

NO. I CAN’T BEAR TO WATCH SCULLY LOSE HER DOG…. 

oh my gosh, she is sitting in the chair, holding his collar in grief…. she is literally spaced out into another dimension mourning her little friend and mulder is rambling about the lake…. i want to slap him… NOOOO. she asks him to repeat himself because she was so out of it…

(if this doesn’t end with a dog reunion i will drop this dumbass show. BET.)

mulder asks if she can drive a boat. psh can she drive a boat? it’s natural to her bloodline.

she is piloting the boat and he’s telling her where to go, and she’s braver than me because if i lost my dog at this moment i think i would need two weeks to begin to even SORT of get a grasp on reality. 

“i know the difference between expectation and hope. seek and ye shall find, scully” <- this is a genuinely fantastic line said by mulder, but i’m still in dog mourning so we can go analyze that later 

map facts with scully :)

until the monster comes STRAIGHT AT THEM!! i like how she kept asking “what is that, mulder?” because it reminded me of when she kept asking mulder to get the bugs off of her in darkness falls… like the blind hope/faith/desperation that he would hold the answers and have a solution… ohhhgghh

big crash into the boat!!! it is leaking and she picks up the radio and calls a distress signal (another natural feature to a scully) but the boat is FILLING with water!!

mulder gets some life jackets for them and they barely get them on in time as the boat sinks. whew! a conveniently placed rock for them to perch upon is nearby!!!

but there goes the $500 deposit :( 

mulder says to swim and she is GAGGED “in which direction?!” lmaoooo

mulder is unsettled by how dark it is, because you forget these things in a city… and scully says you forget a lot of things in a city; her father taught her to respect nature, because it has no respect for you. or your dog, i guess :(

they both pull out their guns as they hear splashing!!!! mulder whispers that it was big blue, but scully asks “so what if it was?” <- NOOO you took her dog and her deposit, you’ve broken her spirit!!!

mulder says he wants to know because it could revolutionize science, and so many of the things they chase are intangible, but it’s a creature within the confines of a lake, it should be right HERE- and she isn't buying it for a second

she says she saw HIS FUTURE in ansel’s photographs, a man listening only to himself and seeing nonsense; she can’t figure out his motives, and things are approaching angst levels on this rock in the middle of nowhere, but SOMETHING APPROACHES!!!!

it’s a duck. okay so it could be worse!!! he says he’s still tempted to fire and she slams into him LMAOOO 

sleepover on the rock. “hey scully, do you think you could ever cannibalize someone?” <- LDHDMDNSMDNSBBDNSND I’M GENUINELY YELLING LMAOOOOOOO HOLD ON. hold on i need a minute to handle all that. (she gives a thoughtful and scientific response) <- that’s Them. that is their dynamic right there.

“you’ve lost some weight recently, haven’t you?” “yeah i have, thanks for-“ (glare of realization) LMAOOOOOOOO WHAT EVEN IS THIS EPISODE

“poor queequeg” she says, and i’m gonna CRY. but mulder has a better response now to her grief instead of just babbling on about the lake, asks why she chose that name. she shares that was the name of the harpoonist in moby dick, which her father used to read to her from.

and as she says this, she realizes how much mulder is like ahab, “so consumed by your personal vengeance against life, whether it be it’s inherent cruelties or it’s mysteries, that everything takes on a warped significance to fit your megalomaniacal cosmology” <- the words of a girl who was REALLY into a book as a kid and is also experiencing near-death levels of hypothermia and grief

LMAOOOOO HIS RESPONSE IS “scully, are you coming onto me?” yes. now kiss on the rock.

and she keeps going, talking about how his search for the Truth will take down everything he loves, just as it did for Ahab.

OH! he starts talking about how he always wished for a peg leg, even as a kid, and it first it seems like another of his many jokes but he says it’s because maybe then it’s enough to Persist despite the difficulty; without, “you’re actually expected to make something of your life- achieve something, earn a raise, wear a necktie” so perhaps he is the ANTITHESIS of ahab, for with a peg leg he may be more pleased! 

woah. that got deep. i’ll be gnawing on that one for a bit.

THEY BOTH QUOTE A LINE FROM THE BOOK AT THE SAME TIME... STOP I’M GONNA SOB?????

but a splashing approaches… and they draw their guns…. CUT TO A COMMERCIAL BREAK!!!!

it’s dr. farraday??? he says he hopes he’s not INTERRUPTING anything!!! wait so was the shore right there the whole time LMAOOO (silent walk of shame to the shore) BAHAHA

so what is this dude doing out here?? obviously it’s frog science! he’s been breeding the frogs to get their numbers back up. 

mulder is thinking…. if there are fewer frogs for a dinosaur to eat… it would have no choice but to turn to different food sources! (cutscene to serious arguing between mulder and dr. farraday whilst scully watches)

sheriff rolls up!!! another person had their arm bit off, and so he has thirty boats searching that area. but mulder says we have to search THIS cove, where the frogs have been going missing!! he blatantly refuses.

what if it was her little dog that bit the dude’s arm off…

scully politely asks for him to send a few men over and immediately gets results LMAOOO he quietly mumbles “thanks”

but a distant scream is heard!!! it’s dr. farraday!!! they run and find him!! something grabbed his leg and was shaking it. his leg is messed up really bad so scully is tying a tourniquet, and mulder’s running off after the mystery creature…. no self preservation instincts….

so he’s off with a gun and a flashlight chasing the human eating beast…. only to find some frogs. but something is approaching him?? quickly!!! and he’s firing his gun!!!

into a GATOR??? not a fancy lake beast!!

he’s staring out into the water… claiming to be fine. but he said he wanted the monster to be real, that he saw hope in such a possibility. she says there is still hope, that people want to believe, which is why the stories have endured for so long. 

GASP! the minute they leave, we see a big sea beast…

i’m literally so torn because i was CONVINCED the dog was going to come back 😭😭😭 and this episode was so good but WHY did they have to throw that in there… like i can’t even make an objective analysis of how this went because i’m so sad. WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT?!?!

“oh juni there have been lots of human people that die in this series” which i mourned for too! but. i have felt the pain of losing a beloved and innocent creature and i do not wish for it to return and being reminded of its inevitably is not something i wish upon anyone MUCH less dana scully, who has already suffered in mythological levels.

really though, the episode was good. it was genuinely fantastic. it just clearly hit a bit of a nerve with me so i'm not going to do a thoughtful wrap up in the manner i like to think i usually do. but here are the things i liked, beyond the whole aesthetic and mood: bickering, umbrella sharing, scully at the helm, joint quoting of moby dick, deep introspection in the form of projecting onto book characters, cannibalism debates, outlandish creature as a monster of the week, rock sleepover, and fighting over frogs

[dreamwritesimagines]

okay, hear me out.

If sunshine gets blasted and she absorbs the powers, she'll need help adjusting and it will so ansty and fluffy at the same time.

First the powers would be too much, and sunshine will drop unconscious, queue the X-Men just raining hellfire on the enemies with Theo in the forefront but held down by Logan. If this happens later in the story, when theo has control over his powers, he'll blast them off and come back to tend to his mama. Then a heavy waiting time in the medical room, where they are examining sunshine and are relieved as well as astonished to see her condition.

When she wakes up she is disoriented and obviously fretting after theo and Logan., who in turn are mother Henning her. During this commotion, maybe she lets out a blast and everyone is left speeches. Sunshine panics, Logan/theo reach out, but she's so afraid and out of control that she blasts again and goes unconscious again. They discover her powers and then comes the angsty part where she tries to adjust to her new life. She starts living in the mansion, is wary of going near anyone, scared of harming them, especially theo. Has existential crisis cause her species of existence has changed. And I mean- A LOT OF ANGST .

But of course theo helps and Logan too. And even cyclops ;⁠)

Now for the fluffy part. Logan realises that since sunshine is not fully in control of her powers, she lets out little blasts or zaps of electricity on every little thing. So he loves to startle her. He'll quietly grab her from behind and kiss her neck, making her fuse the toaster she was touching. He'll give her the bedroom eyes when she's arranging the flowers in the case, and she'll accidentally break the case with a blast.

S- Stop looking at me like that!

L- Like what, sunshine?

S- Like- like that..! Like I'm your prey.

Logan, slowly making his way to you, like a predator- oh but I love to fluster you. And whispering into your ear - and you are my prey

AAAHHH gentle and pleasurable electric shocks and then kissy kissy and maybe queue in smut🙈

Okay I should stop. Bye!

HONEEEEEY AAAAAAAH THIS IS SUCH A GREAT IDEA! 🥰❤️

Oh it would definitely be both angsty and fluffy at the same time! ❤️ Like, can you imagine Logan's panic when he saw her get hit by that blast?! He would be unstoppable and kill whoever attacked her 😱

I feel like she would be so confused because all her life she never had to deal with anything like that 😱 And she would go into her shell, convinced that she was dangerous and I feel like the moment Logan went into her room, she would be like,

"You shouldn't be here."

"Why not? Can't I see my girlfriend?"

"Logan, no- it's not the same, you know that. I'm dangerous."

"No you're not."

"I am, I could kill you-"

"Good luck with that, everyone who tried failed."

"Logan."

"What? You're not going to kill me sweetheart."

Omg the fluffy part, the fluffy partttt! ❤️

He'll quietly grab her from behind and kiss her neck, making her fuse the toaster she was touching. He'll give her the bedroom eyes when she's arranging the flowers in the case, and she'll accidentally break the case with a blast. I AM GIGGLING, THIS IS ADORABLE❤️

Logan, slowly making his way to you, like a predator- oh but I love to fluster you. And whispering into your ear - and you are my prey CUE TO ME MELTING-

Sunshine would stare at him and go like,

"So you don't mind it?"

"Don't mind what?"

"The...um, the electricity thing, when I lose control."

"I don't know if you've missed it somehow, but making you go out of control is my favorite thing to do."

"No but it's different!"

"It really isn't."

"...Then you don't mind it?"

"I like it."

[faislittlewhiteraven]

So seen a few 'What if the ISAT cast were in Pokemon Mystery Dungeon' posts...

And I'm gonna put my hat in the ring because darn it I've been thinking about this for over a week now and I want to infect others with these ideas.

Siffren: Hisuian Zorua - White, adorable AND comes free with a neck ruff to hide their face in, but well, doesn't it fit Siff extremely well lore wise too? Just a cute little guy that's a remnant of a home and life forcefully taken away, Normal enough to be among the living with no issues but also Ghost because there's something missing... Something lost that shapes them, tears at them but they just can't let go... Also they eat a lot, have a good amount of mischief in their nature and use 'illusions' for self protection so like. It's a perfect fit really~ XD (Also the 'red' aspects during the Vs Friends fight makes me wonder if in the PMD version of ISaT Siffrin is evolving so wrong somehow that the universe is breaking and a huge chunk of the fight is the party basically mashing B button in utter terror~ XDDD)

Isabeau: Ditto - No joke, Isabeau had me really stumped for ages because what kind of pokemon species goes from nerd to buff to eventually somewhere in the middle during their evolution line but then I realized 'Wow I'm an idiot. There's a pokemon all about Change that can be any form right over there!' and thus Isa-Ditto was born in my mind. I like to think he's almost always in the form of a Marchoke, Zangoose or Scrafty or something that to the others is big and buff but Isa's warm smiling ditto face always stops him from ever looking intimidating, and back in the 'nerd' days Isa probably stuck to being a Gothita/Gothorita, if only because they're about the only mon I can think of with braids and they do seem like a good form if one wants others to stay away so they can focus on studying and stuff...

Mirabelle: Minccino/Cinccino - Ok, most of my reasoning for this one is because Mira visually reminds me of the Minccino line (those eyes <3 And her ribbon! <3) but like, she IS pretty studious and helpful and probably cleans up after everyone and that's Cinccino as anything to me, plus the sheer way this mon blitzs with Skill Link... IDK I just really feel the line suits her.

Odile: Kanto Persian or Purugly - After realizing Siff, Isa and Mira were all Normal types I decided to make it a thing and since under this logic Odele couldn't be a Kadabra (as was my first instinct), the idea of her being this big old book reading cat affectionately rolling her eyes at everyone else's nonsense just had so much appeal <3 Leaning Persian if only because its design matches her visuals better but the thought of her as a Purugly feeling comfortable enough around the others she doesn't puff up her fur via her tail around them is pretty cute/very 'seems standoff-ish but is secretly affectionate Odile' so I'm still struggling to choose between them.

Bonnie: Zigzagoon - Bonnie was probably the hardest to pick out because there were so many possibilites (Aipom for the mischief? Munchlax for the cooking/food vibes? Oh but what about Meowth for their weird hug face???). But then I realized pokemon of all sorts could do all of those things and what really stands out about Bonbon is their 'NPC somehow on the big adventure and doing their best' vibes so a spunky little Zigzagoon using their 'Gluttony' expertise in food to 'Pick Up' the party's sprits felt really fitting (also they way they dart in and out of combat with their Quick Feet just. It works you know? XD). Not sure which Zigzagoon form would be most fitting for them but currently leaning Galarian if only because Siff being weak to Bonnie fits hilariously well, it matches with Bonnie's 'desire to be edgy despite still being adorable' vibes and the mental thought of them far off in the future, all grown up and protecting their family as a big bad Obstagoon gives me a ton of warm fuzzies so yeah~ <3

Euphrasie: Lopunny - Look, it's just the hair, the affectionate personality and her being really really tall compared to the others alright? Only the party is actually Normal locked to me! X'D (I could see her as an Altaria or a Mega Ampharos as well but Lopunny just feels more 'right' somehow.)

The King: Hisuian Zoroark - . . . In my defence, he's an incarnation of malice born from the loss of his home/life with long long hair who acts as Siffrin's foil, pushes them towards 'discovering the red' and yoyos between tragically lamenting and being a ruthlessly, cruel monster who would hurt a child. There was no other option.

Loop: currently torn but leaning Cosmog/Cosmeom or Mimikyu for most of the game and Necrozma/Ultra Necrozma for the Act 6 secret fight - Finally the one non Normal type! And the fact it's the eldritch feeling Loop is kinda perfect? Helps them stand out more at least, and well you really can't beat Ultra Necrozma for 'star shaped thing that is both terrifying, potentially world ending and in immense amounts of pain'. (...Also its weak to Siff's H!Zorua and Bonnie's potential Dark type so it fits type wise also XD).

Change God: Mew - Do I really gotta explain why? (Legendary, has Transform, cute and sweet but also a little bastard, etc- It ticks all the boxes XD

So... Yeah. Those are my In Stars and Time 'what Pokemon would the main cast be' thoughts.

[felixcloud6288]

Dungeon Meshi Chapter 18

It feels strange hearing their journey is already almost over. They expect to reach the red dragon in two days.

Marcille made that magic circle when making soap in chapter 14. Now I see that it was a makeshift stovetop.

The runes we can see on the circle's edge were also in Marcille's fireball incantation from chapter 4 so maybe they have to do with heat of flame.

I love this image.

Marcille is actually still bitter about their party members leaving them, and I am too. Why did the author introduce us to a beautiful muscle lady only to immediately take her away from us.

I think the undine might have attacked because Marcille accidentally poured scalding hot water on it.

Looks like I have to make a correction to what I said about waterwalk. It repels water, but it doesn't make you buoyant. Marcille had to "climb" out of the water here so it wouldn't be able to raise sunken objects. Pity.

I guess the kraken was about to jump out of the water anyway and Marcille just blocked it from diving again.

I wonder what it would be like if you were under the water, applied waterwalk on yourself, and then tried swimming. Would you be able to dive deeper into the water?

So wait. Mage's don't need to use a staff to cast magic? Is it a concentration thing or does the staff act as a catalyst to reduce mana cost or something? Marcille cast an explosion spell ten times trying to hit the undine and she ran out of mana after. I guess if she does something like that again, I can compare to this one to figure out why she uses a staff to begin.

Marcille held out both hands to cast her explosions but she doesn't necessarily need both of them. Maybe it's more like she's firing shots from both hands. And notice she once again shows her right-hand dominance.

It might be coincidence where Marcille got hit, but if it isn't then the undine has a general intelligence and sadism to how it fights. stabbing Marcille in the leg prevents her from being able to escape. Then stabbing her in the shoulder disables her ability to fight back.

There's a physics problem in this image about the amount of force Senshi and Chilchuck have to exert in order to both pull Laios and Marcille back and also not get pulled in when Marcille initial fell into Laios's arms.

This is called the fireman's carry.

This is the first time I've felt like the party was in genuine danger. Marcille very definitely was almost killed and all they could do was run.

We're finally getting a meal from the kelpie. The diagram on it revealed that the mane was waterweed just like what the piscines have as "hair". So now I'm curious if kelpies have fur or not. Like, is a kelpie a mammal or is it an aquatic species that just looks like a horse? It probably wouldn't make sense for an aquatic species to develop hooves so I guess it's a mammal that evolved to be aquatic.

The meal this chapter didn't have a name or ingredient list. I guess they're a bit more concerned in saving Marcille rather than filling their stomachs.

Despite how close they were to losing Marcille, the party still makes time to be silly. I love how Laios put a bib on her and she was sitting around looking half-dead the entire time.

And then there's just the goof about how Senshi cooks each piece, Laios and Chilchuck comment on it, and then they just give Marcille only the liver.

I feel like there was a missed opportunity to bring up how the kelpie doesn't eat liver (granted, that was in a miscellaneous monster tale) while the party is making Marcille eat only the liver. But she managed to recover enough that she had the strength to complain about not getting anything else before passing out.

When I was screenshotting the above images, I realized that they use chopsticks despite this being a generally western-style fantasy setting. Oh well. It doesn't really matter.

This is definitely going to be a setback for the party. They were supposed to have already left but now they had to retreat and need to wait for Marcille to recover.

An angel approaches.

back

[vodika-vibes]

For commander Monkk can I request a cute little fic where he has a crush on his generals former Padawan, now turned Jedi knight, and teaches her how to swim when both their battalions have a day off and spend it at the beach 👉👈

I'll Love Every Version Of You

Summary: One year ago your master, Kit Fisto, promoted you to Jedi Knight though it would have been his preference to keep you at his side until the war's end. But the Jedi needed more Knights and you were old enough and skilled enough that keeping you as a padawan would have been a waste of time. This is your first real break in over a year, and you get to spend it on a peaceful tropical planet, with your former Master…and his battalion.

Pairing: Commander Monnk x F! Twi'lek Reader

Word Count: 1190

Warnings: Reader is described as a twi'lek with freckles.

A/N: I wasn't sure where to go with this, at first, but I think I'm happy with this one. Maybe. I'm super dizzy, so it might not be the best, lol.

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You’re glad for the break.

The last year has been you, and your battalion, running from one crisis to the next without much of a chance for a break, save for what time you can take while traveling through hyperspace. 

You’re exhausted. You feel like you could sleep for a year and still not get enough rest.

Which is funny. You don’t remember being half this exhausted when you were Master Kit’s padawan.

Of course, even when you’re supposed to be resting (Vax is going to have your head on a silver platter if you don’t get your stress levels down at least a little bit), you still have work that you need to consider.

The truth is, you’re worried about the next mission.

It’s based on a water planet, and while you know how to swim, your Master is from an aquatic species after all, you’ll be the first person to admit that you’re not the strongest swimmer.

Not through any failing on his part, though.

The failing is all you.

You stretch out on the blanket you’re relaxing on, and bury your toes in the hot sand. In truth, as a twi’lek, you’ve always been a poor match for Master Kit as a padawan. There were plenty of aquatic initiates that he could have chosen from, and yet he chose you.

You remember the other Councilers commenting on how unusual it was that Master Kit didn’t take another Nautolan or a Mon Cala as a padawan. They were careful to not make it seem like they didn’t approve, but you’ve always been a sensitive child.

A huff falls from your lips as you feel your stress levels rising.

Vax is definitely going to kill you. He only signed off on this because he thinks you’re going to stress yourself into an early grave.

“Well now, look who it is,” You turn your head to the side when you hear the familiar voice, and a small smile crosses your lips, “Was wondering where you were hiding, kid.”

“I’m hardly a kid anymore, Commander.”

Commander Monnk, your Master’s right hand, and someone you’re lucky enough to call a friend, laughs and sits on the towel next to you, dripping water onto your bare skin.

His dark eyes scan your bikini-clad form, and a small smirk lifts the corner of his lips, “Oh, I can see that, mesh’la.”

You seriously consider flinging some sand at his face but think again. He’s always been like this, flirty and teasing. He doesn’t mean anything by it.

“I figured I’d sunbathe someplace private so people won’t stare at me.” You shrug, “Plus, Master still gets a funny little twitch when he sees me wearing bikinis.”

“Well, you are his daughter.”

“Former Padawan,”

Monnk rolls his eyes and tweaks the end of one of your lekku, “Semantics.”

You toss a small grin up at him, and he grins right back at you. You missed Monnk. You like Commander Vash. You do, he’s smart and competent. But he’s not Monnk.

“So,” Monnk continues as he leans back on his hands, “What’s bothering you?”

You sit up and fold your legs, “What makes you think something’s bothering me?”

“Vash.”

You scowl out towards the water, “He’s a snitch.”

“Also, according to Vax, you’ve been stressed. And haven’t been sleeping well.”

This time you direct your scowl at him, “Is my entire battalion spying on me for you?”

“Come on, mesh’la. Don’t be like that,” One of his fingers traces a line of freckles on your shoulder making you shiver, “They’re worried about you. I’m worried about you.”

The sigh that falls from you is so heavy it makes you wince. 

“Well, clearly you’re worried about something.” And, of course, Monnk catches it. “Come on, talk to me.”

“We have a mission,” You admit, “To an aquatic planet.” It’s all you say. It’s all you have to say.

“Ah.”

You draw your knees up so you’re able to rest your chin on them, “I don’t know what to do, Monnk. My battalion thinks I’m a great swimmer, and that I’ll do wonderfully on this mission. But I won’t.”

“Your swimming hasn’t improved since leaving General Fisto’s side?”

You shoot him a pained look, “When would I have the chance?”

“No wonder you’re so stressed.” Monnk shifts slightly, draping his arm over his raised knee. “Alright, let’s get some swimming practice in.”

“What?”

“This is a pretty secluded spot you’ve found, no one will see us practicing your swimming.” Monnk continues.

“This is supposed to be your vacation too, Monnk.”

“Yeah, and this is how I want to spend it.” He hops to his feet and offers you his hand, “Come on.”

It’s the easiest thing in the world, to reach out and take his hand. It’s Monnk, after all.

He leads you into the water, and then out until you’re standing on your toes to keep the water off your face, “Here’s a good place to start,” Monnk murmurs, his hands warm against your hips, helping you keep your head above the water.

“If you say so,” You scrunch up your nose as your toes leave the ground due to a wave.

“Ah, don’t look like that mesh’la. This will be fun!”

“For you, maybe.”

Monnk laughs, but when he looks at you there’s something soft and affectionate in his gaze. His hands, warm and calloused from years of weapon handling, slide from your hips to rest on your sides. “How are you still so impossibly soft?”

“I use lotion to keep my skin healthy,” You reply.

“Yeah? Need help with that?”

“Pervert,” You counter, affectionately.

“Just to you, mesh’la,” Monnk says automatically. It’s a familiar conversation, one you’ve had with him time and time again. Monnk has never shied away from how he feels about you.

He wears his heart on his sleeve, at least when it comes to you.

“Alright!” Monnk’s hands tighten around you, “Are you ready to begin?”

“I suppose.”

“Good,” He pauses, “Hm…I should charge you for this.”

A startled laugh slips from you, “I have to pay you to teach me how to swim.”

“All good swimming teachers are paid,” He counters solemnly.

“Alright, but I should warn you, I’m not paid.”

“A kiss,” Monnk says, his gaze serious and slightly wistful, “I teach you in exchange for a kiss. Maybe two.”

“Two? Aren’t you being a little greedy?” You tease.

“Well,” His voice is low as he lightly presses his forehead against yours, “The economy is in shambles—”

You don’t let him finish, as you tilt your head to press your lips against his.

He reacts immediately, his arms locking securely around your waist as he pulls you as close as he can. Monnk immediately deepens the kiss, his tongue sliding across your lips.

The force almost sings with what he feels for you. I love you. I’ve always loved you. I’ll always love you. No matter who you become. No matter where you go. 

And so, you slide your arms around his neck and allow him to pull you closer. After all, you love him too. He’s Monnk, after all.

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