#Bad End Preserve Us au

[threepandas]

Bad End: Preserve Us

You know how in conservation biology you sometimes try to introduce a pair to be mated and one will just... just fuckin' merc' the other? Just absolutely obliterate them in a hissing, growling, nightmare ball of fury? Before anyone can stop them? Territorial and (to put it lightly) "uninterested", dispite your desperate desire to save their species from extinction, and need for them to get frisky?

I know.

Holy SHIT do I know.

There's a lot of reasons. Ways you can (hopefully) get around it. But first? Is finding out WHY it happened. Was it just the one? The environment? Were they sick? Or... as is the case sometimes, did they decide their Handler was their mate? Some species only mate once. Are loyal for life. You gotta work around that.

Which is all well and fine and good.

When we're talking about ANIMALS.

Non-sentient, non-sapient animals! Not ALIEN SPECIES! What the ABSOLUTE FRESH HELL did they expect from me!? Compliance?! This was UNETHICAL! Monstrous! I had been trying to slip my gaurds long enough to radio for help SINCE I GOT HERE.

I hope the fuckers ROTTED in whatever their Gods considered a Hell.

"Conservation facility" my ENTIRE ASS. You can't run CONSERVATION EFFORTS like this on SENTIENTS. Eugenics loving, atrocity fetishizing, immoral BASTARDS!!! And they KNEW it too. They HAD too! Or they wouldn't be HIDING it! Fucking KIDNAPPING scientists! Biologists! Doctors!

I was on my ways to study Lekku monkeys!

God...

I'm? I'm so tired of being pissed.

Furious and outraged and SCARED. Horrified and sick. There are PEOPLE here. Kids! And I don't... oh god, I don't... H-How LONG has this been going ON? Why did no one NOTICE?

Every day I feel my heart break. The desire to scream and scream and never STOP, grow inside me. I have to get out. I have to get us ALL out. Get these people FREE. Do SOMETHING. But I am forced to "conserve" the species assigned to me. The group assigned to me.

It's killing my love for the field. Making a mockery of everything I worked for.

I don't... I don't think my hands will ever be clean again.

But I have to help. Do everything I can. Make hell a little kinder, if nothing else. At least while I figure out a way OUT. My group deserves better. The groups I do not work with, deserve better.

I disguise games as "testing". Pages and pages of meaningless numbers ans scores. INSIST that enrichment is the key to success. Diet is EVERYTHING. Oh, and habitat? Well unless we can mimic their habitat there's no WAY they'll "breed".

No, no, using machines would stress them out too much.

It's like you DONT want babies!

Who's the expert here? That's RIGHT! Dr. Cho, but FAILING her and like five other people? Me. And I know for a FACT they are pulling the same scam. We ALL fucking hate you. Dr. Cho has KIDS, you FUCKS. Hasn't seen her son in YEARS thanks to you bastards. He was engaged. She's probably missed his WEDDING thanks to you!

Getting distracted, spiraling again, gotta stop DOING that.

It wont help anyone.

But God, if my brain doesn't slowly feel like it's shorting out the longer I'm here. Stress is called the silent killer for a reason. Or what that something else? Fuck. I can't even look it up! Bastards cut us off from the galactic web. Full information blackout. Because of COURSE they did... can't risk us rightfully calling for help.

Getting the Feds involved to shut this hell pit of a black site DOWN. Or a "whatever it truely is" site. Because it sure as SHIT has nothing to do with conservational biology. Except maybe the abuse of it.

But that doesn't help me right now.

Focus, damn it!

The Yanderens. Old, absurdly rare, nearly extinct, with a home planet they'd reduced to uninhabitable wastelands millennia ago due too... something. No one knew what. There had definitely been fighting. It WAS documented they were excellent fighters. Ruthless ones at that. But it was ALSO documented they strongly pack bonded.

There had been a lot of strongly worded warnings on what few documation my captures were able to find, translate, then shove at me. But honestly? They said the same thing about humans. Ooooh big scary persistent hunters~ oh nooooo! Watch out for the omnivores with a history of war! Sins of the father and we are defined by our diets! Class systems! Let's all JUDGE each ooooootheeeeer~!

Yeah, no. Not buying it.

Especially when the "warnings" were so damn vague and poorly documented. All "the HORRORS!" and "we barely SURVIVED!". Cause honestly? The Yanderens I was watching over? Easily the most mild and temperate individuals I had ever met. No tantrums from the kids, no big emotional meltdowns, just curiosity and at WORST? Mild frustration.

It made everything ten thousand times worse for me, that these poor people were in this hellish place. They were calm. Curious. Meant for greater, BETTER things! They should be out, playing and learning. Exploring and enjoying peaceful strolls in some art gallery or zen garden somewhere! Not... not this sterile fucking LAB.

But then M-17 loses his SHIT.

And now I'm kinda panicking. Because F-6 is not just dead, God rest her soul (she didn't deserve this. Oh god. She was so SWEET.), but M-17 might just be too, soon. If I can't find out what HAPPENED. Because if he's "feral" or "diseased" or whatever other horrifying terminology they end up using? They DO something about it.

And I can't actually stop them.

I... I don't know if it was a trauma response. Or I did something wrong. I could PROBABLY pass it off as my needing more studies into their observed "mating habits"? That... that I somehow... turned it... uuuuh... dominance battle? Shit. Where are my notes?!

F-6 is DEAD and its all my fault.

She was such a cuddle fiend too. Always excited to hear about my studies, from before. My life. Wanted to join me after we got out of here. I never should have let her volunteer. Granted, she wouldn't have taken no for an answer. Wanted to spend the pregnancy plotting our escape. Asked me to help raise the kid once we got out. Had a whole grand plan. But I...And I...

God...

I should have said NO. Insisted. It was just so hard, when F-6 had made it all sound like it would be okay. Like she had a plan and all I need to do was trust her. Believe in her. Then we could be free.

I had hoped M-17 would work best. He was always the most agreeable and quick on the uptake. I figured... well... ha ha. God, I'm such an IDIOT. I should have CHECKED. Who KNOWS what happened before I arrived? What triggered I just accidentally rammed my foot into? FUCK! I sweep everything from me desk onto the ground. Don't give I shit that I'll have to clean it up later,

I had figured M-17 would be COOL with it.

This place is getting to me, isn't it?

Why the FUCK would anyone be COOL with getting jumped? Bred like an animal? Shoved in some random ass room, with a vaguely familiar stranger, and told "now fuck. We want a literal litter from you two"? All while some biologist watchs and makes god damned NOTES!?

Of course he fought back. OF COURSE he didn't stop!

The only one there he could trust was himself.

I...I'm becoming a monster... aren't I?

Oh god.

At least we're in the satellite facility. The gaurds are definitely going to rat me out, but the news will take time to filter back. And... and the Yanderens being so "dangerous" might work in my favor. I... I can spin this. I HAVE to spin this. I can't let TWO people die for my fuck up.

I promised myself I would get as many people out as I could. I refuse to back out now. Even if that means crying, puking, then going out there to lie my ASS off. This was TOTALLY NORMAL. In fact, expected! Yep! It means that's we've determined that M-17 is the alpha Yanderen! A thing that is both REAL and possible to BE!

I rinse my mouth, stomach empty. Crying has exhausted me. But I can't give up. Too many lives count on me now. I... I wish so badly I was just a nobody again. Just some random biology student, trying to make a name for herself. Being "important" is a CURSE.

I try not to chug my water as I half stumble out of the glorified shoebox that is my bathroom into the much larger and Fancier CLOSET that is my room. Truely, no expense spared, for the captives they ripped away from their lives. So glad I am here willingly and of my own volition.

I gather myself. Finally ready to go and try to untangle the mess I have made of everything. When a deep booming alarm rattles my bones. The lights flickering to red. Blast doors slide down, SLAM shut over the transparent recessed bit of wall that counts as my window, the door to the rest of the facility.

Trapping me inside my small room.

Almost immediately after, an EXPLOSION rocks the world hard enough to knock me from my feet. Only the bed's limited padding keeping me from a nasty concussion. The edge of it still ramming painfully into my shoulder. Another explosion. Then another. I sit for a long, terrible, second stunned.

The moment passes.

I scramble on my hands and knees for the in facility communication device that I had knocked from my desk in anger, grief. Not daring to stand lest I be thrown down again. I manage to find it as the world shakes again for the fifth time. Followed by what sounds like gun fire out in the halls.

I fling myself back towards my shitty little bunk. Drag every bit of padding and protection I can, down and under it with me. If the roof goes? I want shock absorption. If shots get through the door? I want something to slow those blasts down. Anything. ANYTHING! To increase my fucked chances of surviving.

I burrito up and wriggle back as deep as I can. The world muffled but ending just outside my crawlspace. Then I desperately try to get one of the others on the line. I got nothing but chaos. Running. Running. Hiding. And Dead.

Dead. Dying.

Remember me.

And GONE.

Some of them fighting with their groups too freedom. Some being targeted right along side their captors. Others savaged by the ACTUAL animals they had been working with, the one's Galacticly deemed too dangerous for effort like this. Someone or something had set EVERYONE free. A simultaneous attack on all fronts that our captors could not put down or escape.

The Yanderens were out there.

Oh god. Please let them be okay. They wer-

My thoughts ground to a halt as M-32 LAUNCHED his tiny body onto the screen of one of the security feeds I was desperately looking through. F-6 had figured out how to get us a backdoor to them a long time ago. M-32 was just a kid. A small, soft, cuddly little thing that loved to lean against me and crawl into my lap. All cherubic cheeks and cute little curls. Shy!

Yet I watched... in mounting horror... as like a lion on some unfortunate animal, he landed on a gaurds back. Small arms going around his body in a mockery of a hug. Head tilting so he could BITE at the back of the man's neck, small hands clawing and ripping at weak points in his armor, as he screamed. Thrashed. Tried desperately to get M-32 OFF of him.

There was so much blood.

My hands were shaking. So much, I accidentally hit the next screen button. Jerked my thumb back. But... but oh god. There was F-26. Using the butt of a rifle to slam down against the head of a scientist. Again and again and again. Long after the begging and thrashing stopped. I flipped again. M-4? No... please not M-4. Not the soft spoken and wise...

I watched as he grinned, a cold thing, and shot out another joint. His foot on the chest of the head scientist who had moved him to a different group. In the background, his supervisor lay dead. They had not died quickly. The head scientist was begging. A mess of tears and pain. M-4 shot another joint, pressing his foot down harder.

I wanted to be sick.

I flipped again. And again. And AGAIN.

H...Had I known them at ALL? Like demons wearing the faces of those I'd known. People I'd trusted. Not a SINGLE ONE was... oh... oh god. F-6. Had she been too? Would I have ever known? Was THIS what all those warnings meant? I couldn't think. Couldn't breath. Had... Had never had a panic attack but... BUT-!

I wheezed.

Shook.

"Oh, Clever giiiirl~" A familiar voice sang, before a blood splattered face flickered into being on the screen in my hands. "Where aaaare yoooou~?"

M-17. He'd somehow managed to take over the security cameras. That or the communication feed. His eyes were bright. A grin on his face like I'd never seen from him. ALIVE in a way I'd never seen him. The excitement transformed his face. No longer softly doll like, but something DANGEROUS. Unhinged. His eyes dilated and deadly teeth on display.

"Come out, come out wherever you aaaare~. I have so much to TELL you! We have so much to DO! I'm going to make you MINE sweetheart! No one else can have you. So come out. I won't hurt you much, I promise! Just gotta make you mine then we can leave okay~?"

Furious snarls echoed through the halls. Male and female alike. Old and young. I... I recognized each of those voices. What was HAPPENING?

"Aaaah? Did you TRASH really think you DESERVED her? Ha! Please." M-17 grin was cruel. Mocking. "You don't have a chance in hell of taking what's MINE."

His eyes seems to shift away from unseen enemies and back, somehow, to me. Warming to something euphoric. Resting his head on his hand as if to consider me. His fingers spread, stroking his own face, as if the desire to TOUCH was simply too great. As if what he was imagining was bleeding over into the real world.

"Oh clever girl~ my clever, clever girl~♡ I can't wait til it's just you and ME. Start think of where you want to go first, okay? We're going to get married. Have that child you wanted me for. All the things you ever dreamed~♡ I'm going to have you all to myself. No more annoying others. Ah~ can't wait to find you soon!"

"But first?"

"May the best of us Win."

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Squeaky Clean 1

Warnings: non/dubcon and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: Steve Rogers

Summary: You start work as a maid but you're not prepared for the mess your client brings with him. (maid AU -- plus!reader)

Note: yeah...

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

This isn’t where you pictured yourself. Even as a cynic, it’s not a job you would aspire too. You’re realistic. Practical. You do what needs to be done. And you suppose, at the end of the day, that’s all this is. Cleaning is rarely enjoyable but it needs to be done. 

You have your kit. The agency gave that to you for a $30 fee. Wonderful, you get to pay for supplies. Business is business. Just another way of the world. The bucket is weighed down by the cleaners, the sponges, clothes, etc. The vacuum is a rental and weighs down your trunk with the broom and mop from your own apartment. You’re not buying a whole new set just for this. They’ll do the job. 

You can settle for that. For what will do. For the bare minimum. Life has been a lot of that. You’re not the only one living that way so why feel sorry for yourself. Get through it, get over it. 

The map on your phone leads you to the address. It’s a big place. One of those high-end townhouses. Not new but renovated. Protected by some city ordinance for ‘historical preservation’. Under that, they sell for nothing less than two million. Yep, you expect that. Logic and practicality are easy bedmates. 

You park and feed the meter. Again, paying to make money. The world runs on money. Put in a little and hope for a few cents to get you by. 

You get out and grab your bucket. You'll come back for the rest when you need them. Zuli, the woman who went over the expectations with you assured you that most clients are away during a service call. They don’t like mingling with the help. If they are around, you likely won’t see them. Or they won’t acknowledge you. 

You can suck up your pride. It’s that city mindset. When you’re on the subway, you keep your head down, you don’t make eye contact. If you hadn’t taken this damned job, you wouldn’t be slogging through New York traffic in the company pinto. A job is a job, money is money, everything is simple if you just parse down your expectations. 

You climb the front steps and as you go to ring the doorbell, a lens built in to protect the overpriced property, the door opens. You retract your hand in surprise. Bad timing? 

The man that greets you is tall and blond. He wears a button up; brown plaid, and khakis. He looks like a cut-out husband from a 1950s advertisement for laundry soap. ‘Give your a fresh scent’ or whatever. 

 Strangely, he also tweaks your memory. Do you know him from somewhere? That’s not possible. You don’t know anyone you’re not forced to know. 

“Mister...” You lift your phone and check the app. “...Rogers.” 

Oh, right. Steve Rogers. You thought it was a coincidence. It can’t be a very uncommon name. You really didn’t anticipate the Captain America opening the door, even in Brooklyn. 

“You must be...” he says your name with a smile. “You can just call me Steve.” 

He holds out his hand. You look at it and stiffly set down the kit. You shake it, out of courtesy. Just your luck. You get one that wants to chat. 

“I’ll give you the tour,” he squeezes your hand firmly before he lets go. “You can get the lay of the land.” 

Another false promise. You should be used to those by now. Those written directions Zuli mentioned are out the window. You get the full curated walk through. 

“Thanks,” you nod and bend your knees. 

He’s quicker than you. Stronger too. Obviously. But the way he easily scoops up the bucket, it’s like he’s picking up no more than a pillow. The act adds to the hint of mortification in prickling behind your ears. Here you are, in sweats and a bandana, in a nice neighbourhood, and now you’re faced with the primped and pristine golden boy. 

He backs up and gestures you inside, the bottle of bleach wiggling in the bucket. You enter and stop on the matter. You slip out of your shoes as he shuts the door. He turns, coming close, close enough that his warm radiates through the back of your hoodie. 

“You can hang up your sweater,” he reaches to tap a peg on the coat rack mounted on the wall. 

“Sure,” you unzip the hoodie and hang it. 

The house is nice. Organized. You wonder why he needs a maid but then again, you suppose even if he can do it himself, he might not want to. Or have the time. How much leisure does he have when he isn’t saving the world. 

It’s a pretty standard layout. You’ve seen homes with a similar floor plan by the fixtures are loose and corroded and the floorboards splintered. Nice places, just aged. Owned by those who can’t afford hired help. 

You notice a few original pieces, restored, but emblazoned with the patent that demarcates them as turn of the twentieth century. Almost as old as the man leading you around. You go through the first floor, the second floor, and come back down. 

“So, I’ll be around here and there. I don’t really have a solid schedule but I’ll try to have you come in around the same time, make it easy on you,” he explains. He has a hand on his hip as he gestures with the other; like he’s ordering around his soldiers, rather, his avengers. 

“Right,” you nod again.  

Taking orders isn’t that hard. They remind you of someone else but they’re not difficult. It’s harder when you don’t know what others want. When disappointing them is easy. 

“Any questions?” He asks. 

“No,” you shake your head. You stand awkwardly, waiting. You clear your throat. “I can take that.” 

You reach for the kit and he flinches as he looks down. He chuckles, “oh, oh yeah. Heavy. Let me know where to put it. I’ll save you the pulled muscle.” 

“Really, I can handle it,” you grab the handle, next to his hand. He resists for a moment then lets you take it. He could keep it from you if he wanted. That thought is something else. This man is powerful in more ways than one. “Thanks.” 

“No problem, and whatever you need, water or whatever, let me know,” he offers as he slides one heel back. “I’m up in my office today so you can do that last.” 

“Makes sense,” you accept and turn away.  

Kitchen first, that’s the most tedious. 

[dc-gotham-instincts-wild]

I've been on fire with these AUs lately, here's another smaller one:

Jason goes back in time, or, more accurately, gets thrown into a parallel timeline where he realizes he can change the course of this one.

It's right after he became Robin, so he doesn't have much to change yet. However, he actually does fight off some villains before the past Bats get there lol. Because Red Hood is as feral as the streets he was raised on, and you can't change that.

Anyway, he decides to go spy on past Tim. The kid who would grow up and 'replace' him.

.....

What kind of parents leave a baby three year old alone in the giant house for months with no one but some less-than-attentive servants? Also did this kid, this little kid, have no self preservation instincts? He forgot to eat or sleep a lot, dammit. Let alone with the whole roof-jumping things.

Jason cannot believe how just tiny his kid brother was back then. He's a bit smaller than he should be.

So this is why Tim acts like he does. Jason makes a mental note to be more... gentle, with his crazy kid brother when he gets back to his timeline.

Anyway, after watching Tim be emotionally neglected and just having no one and realizes that Tim lived like this for years before joining the Bats, Jason waits a bit so things have a chance to settle (And because he's still not sure), and when Tim is about five, he shadows the little guy as he wanders Gotham after the three Bats.

When Tim falls asleep on a random rooftop (he five in this, guys) in the freaking snow, Jason can't take it any longer.

He snatches the little guy off the rooftop, sneaks into the Batcave, and leaves tiny Tim there, with a small sticky note he steals and writes that this is the neighbours' kid who is being neglected (And if you want, abused) , and signs it off as 'Anonymous who totally didn't find this feral tiny gremlin on a rooftop and semi-kidnap him'.

Tiny Tim is so tired that he doesn't wake up during any of it lol.

Past Bruce, past Dick, and past Jason come back to see a little boy conked out in the Cave, a sticky note next to him saying that he's the neighbours' kid who is being neglected.

The note is signed 'Anonymous who totally didn't find this feral tiny gremlin on a rooftop and semi-kidnap him'.

Bruce notes that the tiny kid is rather small and thin, not to mention freezing.

Dick and Robin!Jason take one look at past Tim and go "he's ours now."

When Tim wakes up, he panics a bit and tries to bolt but Bruce catches him and soothes him and confirms that the kid's parents don't give a freaking thought about him.

In the next few months, it's surprisingly easy for Bruce get custody. Jason and Dick are delighted to have a new little bro.

Tim takes a while to get used to suddenly having a good dad and two awesome big bros.

Tim doesn't remember how he got into the Batcave- all he remembers is conking out on some snowy rooftop (Bruce was horrified by this) and being vaguely aware of being scooped up and carried.

All Tim remembers of whoever had taken him was that they were really big, had a leather jacket, and mumbled to him the whole way until he went back to full sleep again. Past Tim only vaguely remembers the person's (lol it was Older Jason) voice.

Jason-from-another-timelime watches in satisfaction from the shadows.

His work is done.

Later he also saves himself from the Joker and somehow escapes detection.

Then he gets back to his timeline because Flash finally found him.

He yells at his timeline's Tim, reveals to the rest of the Bats how bad it really was for Tim, and well, you can guess how that ends lol.

[mushroomates]

the fellowship grocery shopping (modern au!):

frodo: has a list which he always loses halfway through shopping. tries to bring his own bags but they’re never enough, or he forgets them in the car and realizes mid checkout. does not like a lot of the name brand foods, goes for the knock offs- partly because he thinks they taste better and partly because he’s rooting for the underdog. (also they’re cheaper which means more money go towards buying treats for the neighborhood cats.) makes an exception for name brand strawberry poptarts, a pippin favorite. keeps his fridge stocked with snacks for his friends.

sam: grows a lot of his own produce and makes an effort to shop local. has his own chickens and a thriving herb garden. he often trades with neighbors-tomatoes for honey, basil for goats milk, etc. once a month he teams up with boromir and goes to costco for insane amounts of flour (he bakes his own bread) and a foot long hotdog. sam refuses to get his own membership.

merry: has a list of things to get that he has worked very hard to compile. this list stays on fridge, and whenever he runs out of something he adds it. this is always sabotaged by pippin who, in a port attempt to mimic merry’s handwriting, adds a copious amount of sweets and things only pippin likes. ends up buying them anyways only to not share with him- will gloat by snacking in front of pippin and not offering any to his cousin.

pippin: does not actually grocery shop. yes, he has food in his house but this is more because he just tags along whenever someone else is going. selectively copies whatever they get into his own basket. has eight jars of peanut butter because he loves peanut butter but does not consume it at the rate he believes he does. also for backup, incase he runs out mid sandwich and needs eight jars of the stuff. loves to ride in the shopping carts when no one’s watching. definitely scooters along isles. loves to hijack boromir’s shopping trips as boromir is the only one who will push him in the cart and give him a lil treat at the end.

gandalf: kind of just. wanders around the store. gets lost in the bakery. buys the most random things, causing the clerks to conspire about what he’s doing with two packs of rubber gloves, a rosterseie chicken, and a tub of mayonnaise. is he a murderer? a professor? a single mother? what is he doing with this stuff?

aragorn: does a lot of trading with neighbors, like sam. likes to accompany arwen on errands and do the little things. she points at an item and he puts it in the basket. he bags at checkout. drives her home. unloads the car and put it away. real quality time and acts of service. yes, arwen is capable of doing these things herself, but he likes to do it for her: hunts so be always has a surplus of jerky, does need to buy more salt then the typical person.

boromir: also hunts. has a thing about using every part of the animal, will eat bone marrow straight out of the femur with a spoon for breakfast. eats a lot of protein. is real big about no food waste and will use everything he can. has his own compost bin and a humble herb garden. likes hosting barbecues for everyone, and makes the burgers and hotdogs from scratch. every other tuesday is grocery day. he goes to costco and buys his things in bulk. he’s the only one in the fellowship with a costco card and everyone loves to take advantage of it.

legolas: mainly just happens upon farmers markets and grabs what appeals to him in the moment. does not have any seasonings or cooking oil as it’s not something that’s ever really occurred to him to buy. will forget he has food in his fridge for weeks and when he finally does it’s gone bad. this, however, does not stop him from eating it. makes a lot of smoothies.

gimli: has a lot of preserved foods and a cupboard dedicated to emergencies. owns a lot of canned beans, fruits and vegetables- anything that will keep well. has a freezer filled with food in his garage with backup stock. is a very good with coupons- pippin likes going with him just to see the total (and the clerks jaw) drop. eats a lot of trail mix and jerky. enjoys fresh fruit when he can but doesn’t like to buy it because it doesn’t last.

gollum: sneaky little man. he hides in the bottom part of the carts meant for heavy items and parties his way across the store with his hands, scooting along tile and grabbing anything with reach, tossing it back up to the cart and continuing on his journey. then he just rolls right out the door. no one can stop him.

[jiminrings]

welcome to jiminrings (again)!! ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

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🌟 crybaby (wherein older bf hoseok's normally patient with crybaby oc, until his ex reminds him how... different he used to be)

🌟 jungkook's village series (wherein your bf jungkook has too many exes and he's in good terms with everyone, and he still works with his ex from his longest relationship)

secondhand (wherein retired playboy jin makes a bad joke and makes you re-evaluate your entire relationship with him (also, you're pregnant))

exposure (wherein older husband namjoon's always neutral, even to his friends who keep criticizing you bc he thinks you've been soft all your life)

studio for three (wherein yoongi's studying to be a doctor, and you have to make ends meet raising your daughter... and your husband)

🌟 paths series (wherein your long-time boyfriend taehyung conveniently wants a cool-off every time it's his and his ex's supposed wedding date)

🌟 in vain series (alternatively, jungkook’s your sugar baby — except the only thing he needs to do to get paid is to be your friend.)

🌟 drop anchor (wherein you have a will they, won't they friendship with yoongi who calls you his baby in front of everyone so nobody would set him up (until you get sick of it))

preservation (wherein gravure idol jungkook knows you're a fan and he likes you, but he always pushes you away because he doesn't want to "corrupt" you)

🌟 nesting series (wherein you have a push n pull married life with politician's son yoongi who only married you bc you got pregnant, and his family doesn't want a scandal)

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🌟 stanchion (wherein jungkook's the club bouncer that you have a crush on so u keeping going with ur friends, until a rough night puts u out of commission (read: jungkook has a crush on you too and he's worried out of his mind))

up and tight (wherein you're in an arranged marriage with tightly-wound heir jin and need to share a bed with him)

🌟 to the touch (wherein hoseok's almost The Perfect Boyfriend whose love language is physical touch towards you.. and everyone else)

🌟 retrospect (wherein your older bf taehyung's love language is tough love, so he doesn't grovel when you stay at your place (turns out you're sick, and he's really stupid))

🌟 text AUs (apex yoongi, matilda jungkook, mature jungkook, (un)like the movies aka ex-husband n baby daddy yoongi, fine print yoongi, take five yoongi, michelin jin, was it casual? jin, nine to five jimin, playing house jin...)

early access: anything (alternatively, yoongi's your best friend and you've been in love with him your whole life)

big picture (wherein ob-gyne namjoon, your boyfriend, who wants to be a dad but not a husband… ends up meeting your ex who’s willing to be both)

early access: mature (alternatively, crushing on jungkook who's in your friend group is, has, and will never be a good idea)

🌟 show out series (wherein jungkook's your surgeon boyfriend who always changes your blue-collar job title whenever someone asks)

🌟 breadwinner series (wherein taehyung's a breadwinner who always thinks you're pitying him, so he tells you off in the dark.. in the surprise party you threw for him.. for everyone to hear)

who hurts who (unearthed! wherein loving a single dad like teaehyung who hasn't moved on from his ex isn't a herculean task — until it is)

big city (wherein you're taking your master's degree and jungkook's a professor at another university (read: you're the fragile roommate and jungkook's the stoic one))

🌟 night, day, noon series (wherein yoongi cheats on you)

🌟 trophy series (wherein f1 racer jimin thanks his famous ex-girlfriend for always believing in him in his victory speech)

michelin: the food poisoning drabble series (wherein jin's ex eats at your restaurant and gets food poisoning, and the thinks you did it on purpose)

🌟 learning curve (wherein you’re pregnant and emergency doctor yoongi, who’s always tired from his shifts, has a little meltdown (you just want to take a walk!!!)

🌟 loved next door series (wherein namjoon's your building's resident sweetheart, and inconveniently, your soulmate who thinks emotional cheating is Not Real)

thick and blunt series (wherein pornstar taehyung likes pissing you off, his fluffer, as a kink — except he goes too far and actually hurts your feelings)

one and a half (wherein overly independent boyfriend namjoon doesn’t share his burdens with you, but instead with his overly attached secretary)

monopoly (wherein jungkook, your best friend’s brother, keeps snitching on you and your dates ever since you stopped confessing your feelings for him)

🌟 middle ground series (wherein both you and your ex-boyfriend jungkook are broke and stuck with the lease, so his solution is to invite his current girlfriend to live with the both of you)

🌟 stationary (wherein single dad jin doesn't want to marry you, even if his daughter loves you)

🌟 (un)like the movies series (wherein jimin's your boyfriend who lacks fatherly instincts to your daughter, and he gets to meet your ex-husband yoongi, right after your big fight with him)

refer to the 100+ more bullet points that made my first navi post full and prompted me to make a new one :-)

this month's schedule for patreon citizens! :D

[darkpetal16]

Play as a CUSTOMIZABLE scientist who catches the deranged attention of a siren while visiting an Arctic research base. 

Game includes:

Play as a smart scientist who makes really dumb decisions. 

Play as a smart scientist who makes excellent decisions that lead to self-preservation. 

Get adopted by a misanthropist socially awkward Dadster

Be stalked wooed by a delusional siren

Be kidnapped

Drive a snowjet! 

Race a friendly companion.  

Binge watch a series without realizing how much time has passed you by. 

Be drowned

Enjoy your stay at a five-star arctic research base that has zero casualties so far. 

Why do you keep finding bodies—

This is a 15+ romance/horror with an obsessive love interest. Please read the complete warnings list inside the game if sensitive or easily triggered. 

This game has one complete route to a "good" ending, and 9 "bad" endings with plans to add additional routes / bonuses. Siren!Sans belongs to @llamagoddessofficial on tumblr/ao3. AU was used with permission, although adjusted for funsies. (:

[babyjinsu]

[r/Unsent_Unread_Unheard] i found the pieces of love that are not mine.

PAIRING ⟢ sungchan jung x fem!reader

GENRE ⟢ reddit au, oneshots, written, angst, just sungchan as your husband

CW ⟢ death of someone, implied emotional cheating (not by sungchan)

SYNOPSIS ⟢ what is a husband to do, when he finds a box containing memories of his wife's dead lover? he expresses it on r/Unsent_Unread_Unheard.

💭 dude ok im so.. i hope u guys love this as much as i do :(

[r/Unsent_Unread_Unheard] i found the pieces of love that are not mine. posted by u/chan01 • 5h ago

i'm not sure what to feel about this whole situation. i should have never opened the box. you hid it for a reason and i don't know why i let my curiousity get the best of me.

i wasn't even looking for it, i swear. i was just cleaning and moving things around to make space to put our baby's crib in our bedroom, and then i saw the box-- tucked away so neatly under the bookshelf.

i shouldn't have opened it. if i had known it would hurt me this much, i never even would have touched it.

i've always known about the existence of your ex boyfriend, even though you never told me; and i know you never knew i knew. i know he died several years ago from a car accident on his way home from work. and i know that for seven years, his mother has still been reaching out to you to talk about her son and you guys meet up sometimes.

i always thought you were just being kind-- helping her heal and cope from the loss of her child but no. i think. in some ways, you still want to be connected to your dead lover.

the box was filled with movie tickets, love letters, dried flowers, photographs, and everything that reminded you of what it used to be. your diary was filled with nothing but him, grieve, love, and longing. your last entry was a few years ago. we were married then. maybe you're over him now, with our baby on the way.

he's been gone for years, yet he's still lingering around your mind and our home. he's in the way you write about him, in the way you keep your memories tucked safely from me like it's sacred and untouchable. he's in the way you grieve and in the way you pray for him.

i can't even be mad or hurt because you're not cheating on me. you can't cheat on me with someone no longer here. you're not lying to me because i never asked about him. i didn't want to remind you of him. you're not even doing anything wrong. you just... you just can't let go. you're just grieving of a love ended too sudden and too soon.

and i know you love me. i know you love me because you said yes when i asked if i could be your husband for life. i know you love me because you laugh at my bad jokes. i know you love me because i've heard you talk about me to the stray cats and in the way you pulled me closer in your sleep. you chose me.

but you love him too.

and if it's not love, it's grief. but that's love too. love that is unspent and has nowhere to go. grief is your love preserved and you must've loved him so much to grief this long. and i fear it will forever remain with you, unexpressed, unspoken, implicit, intimate.

i can't compete with a ghost yn. i can't compete for your love with someone who has been idealised in death. i can't fight with someone who has no body. i can't ask you to forget, to erase, to call it off, to let him go.

oddly enough, i don't know why i wish he was still alive. but if he was, i wouldn't have had this chance to be your husband. but if he was...

do i pretend like i don't know? that you still visit his grave from time to time? how do i convince myself that the person you love now is me? i love you so much yn, as much as it hurts.

even if i'll probably never have all of you, the parts of you that i do, those are everything to me. and for that, i'll keep on loving you and the parts that are not mine to have.

💭 aaa i know i'm not finished with the first riize reddit series yet, but this is another series that i'm not sure what to call yet but it's angst mostly. i love angst... aah...

[casually-eat-my-soul]

Fanfic idea?? So this is set idk season 1/2 end of season ish?? Like maybe during the summer when Erica and Boyd are missing and stiles and Derek randomly get closer. Sometime where stiles and Derek weren’t really trusting each other.

So one day while patrolling Derek comes across stiles in the woods and at first he’s angry as hell. What the fuck does this dumbass kid think he’s doing on Derek’s territory, especially after digging up his sister and getting him arrested. He’s about the storm over there and yell at him when he’s hears stiles talking, at first he’s annoyed — does the kid never shut up— when he stops dead because it sound like stiles is talking to his mom and he’s crying.

Stiles misses his mother, he and his dad don’t really talk to her anymore. Stiles only goes to her grave site on her birthday; it’s cold and lifeless and nothing like her. So when he wants to talk to her, he goes deep into the preserve where his mother use to take him. It feels more like her, even more so than home. And after all the shit he’s been through through the past year it’s good to talk to her. He talks about Scott getting bite, maybe having to cut off Derek’s arm, being kidnapped by Peter and thinking he was going to die. He tells her about helping kill Peter and whether or not that makes him bad person, especially how the other reason he felt bad was that he was killing Derek’s uncle.

Derek was going to leave or that’s what he told himself but he couldn’t make himself move. Maybe it was the shock of hearing what had happened to stiles, or the fact that stiles somewhat seemed to care about him. The more he listened to stiles talk the more angry and guilty he became. He didn’t know that stiles was also kidnapped by Gerard, or that Erica and Boyd were in the basement with him. Finally the feeling of guilt over ways his anger and he leaves stiles alone. Unfortunately, this incident also sets Derek off because as an alpha, he’s protect his pack and he’s failed. So he start “checking” (stalking) up on stiles.

Anyway I’m thinking this is what starts the summer of Derek and stiles being closer. Maybe Derek hears stiles talk about him in a positive light that makes him change his perspective on Stiles.

Plus you could have some really cute scenes where like everyone is looking for stiles after something bad happens and Derek finds him at the spot.

Stiles bringing Derek to meet his mom.

Plus it could be a creature stiles au, like selkie stiles au, where the spot in the preserve that he goes is a lake that him and his mother used to swim in. Maybe water carries memories or something.

Or magic stiles who talks to the trees like his mother used to or Fae stiles who he’s actually sitting in a fairy ring and it’s his mothers ring and that why it feels like her.

Just thought it would be sweet. Derek proposing to stiles in the very same location.

[parvulous-writings]

Oooh, I have a request idea!! How about Gale, Halsin, Astarion and Wyll or Karlach (if that's not too many ;-;) with a modern S/O from our world that makes them try a bunch of food from this dimension. I'd love to see their reaction to trying Soda or other Carbonated Beverages, and naturally seeing everyone's reaction to canned food - especially the kind that stays in the exact shape of the can even after you dump it into a bowl 🤣

Just imagine giving them this bad boy and being like "Bon appetit!" :D

I like to think they'd be horrified 🥰 Thank you so much !!

Summary: I do love me a little whimsical AU, I can't lie - so this MAY go into the realms of silly, but you know what? It's going to be fun! It also may be a bit all over the place... but you know what I think it fits XD The scenario is kinda the same for all of them - I hope that's okay!

Warnings: Some are a bit shorter/longer than others! Other than that... I don't think there's anything!

Notes:  My requests are currently open! My pinned post (found here) contains both a list of characters I write for, and a masterlist!  Original character list - please request for these too!

Gale

Out of everyone, Gale would probably be the most at-ease with you coming from another realm - he finds it absolutely fascinating.

He's asking questions all the time - is there magic in your universe? No?? What do you do, then??

You tell him about technology, and he is hooked. You start talking about electricity and immediately he's taking notes (mental or physical).

"I think I might actually have something you can try, Gale" you pull out of your pack a can of Coke (that somehow had survived the trip), and a tin of cranberry sauce that you had hoped to take home, before being whisked away to the land of Faerun. You offer him the can, and he just stares at it for a moment, observing it.

"And... what is this, exactly?" "It's a drink." "I fail to see how-" click "... Ah"

Isn't sure how the bubbles feel on his tongue - he almost spits out the drink the first mouthful he has. Doesn't mind the taste itself though - he would probably drink it flat, if he had the choice to.

"It's... Nice..." He seems mildly uncertain of this statement. "Though, I think I will stick to wine, and water..."

You telling him you can preserve food in metal near indefinitely? Pure 'teach me' moment. He will want to know EVERY secret on that front.

The tin of sauce confuses him. You tell him that it's sauce and he's eager to taste it - he's always on the look out for new flavours, as the self-declared cook in camp. Fish and potatoes can only keep you going for so long, until your tongue starts craving a new flavour.

When you present the unchanging... thing to him, he has no idea what to make of it. "That's... Not sauce. In fact, I don't even think that's edible - that looks like a health hazard."

He straight up refuses to use it that night, like he will not go near it, nor will he let it near the food.

Halsin

Halsin doesn't really talk about you being from another realm all that much - it doesn't overly concern him, now that you've got his trust.

He likes hearing stories of your life -even though you have to explain 90% of what you talk about to him, he's always eagerly listening to whatever you have to say.

Will not touch anything in a can - drink or otherwise.

"I... Do not feel right in trying this... my apologies."

You will not be able to convince him, whatever you try and do, he just... Doesn't want to listen to anything about that. If you keep trying to push him on the subject, he'll probably end up just walking away.

Though he's aware that preserving foods is probably a good idea for the long run, but after having heard the fizz from the can of coke? That's... A no go, for the time being.

Astarion

Astarion couldn't care less where you came from - so long as you're not going to stab him in the back, he's fine with you. You could be a crawling claw for all he cares - so long as you don't hurt him he really does not care.

Astarion doesn't typically eat anything other than his usual sanguine meals now that his affliction is out in the camp. This doesn't stop him from making snide comments on the food, though. And he makes especially snide comments when it comes to drinks - which he still partakes in quite happily.

"What do you mean... Fizzy?" His lips draw up slightly in a half-sneer, not being particularly drawn to the idea of... Whatever it was you were offering him. Though, he supposed, because it was you... He'd give it a go.

He manages to keep the beverage in his mouth after a sip, but the face he makes is beyond a grimace - clearly, he was not expecting that many bubbles.

Now when it came to the tinned sauce - or any tinned food for that matter... He'll simply laugh. "Now, I know we're short on supplies, darling, but... I don't think you'll get anyone to eat that." "Let me put it this way... If something like that was for my meal, I'd be running for the hills! ... And probably washing my mouth out with soap..."

"I am so glad I do not have to pretend I'm eating with you... Because that-" He points emphatically to the can-shaped food. "Would not, and will not, be going anywhere near my lips!"

Wyll

Wyll is curious about the realm you come from, but doesn't normally pry. He figures that, if you're going to reveal anything about your home land, you'll do it in your own time, when you're comfortable. If you start talking about your home and your life, Wyll will do the same, to show that he's not taking the conversation for granted.

Wyll actually LIKES carbonated beverages. He savours the feel on his tongue - it's like nothing else he's ever had before, and he's instantly wanting more. If you ever do figure out the realm-hopping thing, you'll have to bring him some more - possibly some different brands or flavours for him to try.

"So... These beverages... They can... Taste of flowers, and other delightful things?" Wyll hums pleasantly at this thought. "Well, I know we have... Similar things, here in Faerun, but I am most intrigued on your realms' flavours... As pleasant as it all can be, you can only handle so much of the same..."

Though canned food doesn't.... Really seem appealing to him, he'll still give it a good try! He's down to try any food at least once.

He's not keen on the appearance of the cranberry sauce, but he has some with some turkey you've roasted, and he's in love with the taste. Sure, the appearance could use some work, but beggars can't always be choosers - at least it tasted delicious!

Absolutely LOVES tinned vegetables. He's not sure why - he knows they've got a very different taste and texture to their fresher counterpart, but... There's just something about them that he can't get enough of. Tinned carrots especially.

If you give him the chance - and Gale for once isn't trying to make dinner - Wyll will try and find a way to include tinned foods. He will get everyone to like them, he's certain of it.

Karlach

Karlach LOVES hearing anything and everything about your home realm - from the mundane to the even mundane-r. You have a special tub to bathe in, not made from wood? And it has running water, like a river, that you can control?? That's one of the coolest things Karlach has heard of - and she longs for a way to try and bring that kind of plumbing to Faerun.

Karlach isn't fussed on the Coke can you offer her - she'll drink it, for sure, but if there's the option of another drink, then she'll probably opt for that first. Purely for the reason that it's a relatively new sensation compared to the other kinds of fizzy found in drinks across Faerun.

Like, fermentation has a kick, but in comparison, carbonation is a roar, that Karlach needs a little adjusting to - she has the best reaction out of the lot of them, I think.

"Whoo- that's... Hah, that's something, soldier... And how often do you drink this? Once a day? ... Several? Several cans of this a day?" She laughs quietly, shaking her head. "You're braver than me at some things, soldier."

However, when it comes to tinned food... She loves it. She's not even sure why - perhaps it's just the fact that she loves food. You show her the sauce first, and she doesn't even bat an eye at the fact that the sauce had retained the shape of the can. She sniffs at it, before just picking it up and taking a bite.

"A little sharp... But not bad!" Another bite. "You're meant to eat that with meat, Karlach," "Huh? .... Ah, well - still tastes good like this!"

She's not as fond of tinned veggies, but she'll still eat them. Normally dinner will now start with. "Aw, what? Don't we have anymore of that red stuff?"

[chuckeroo777]

Laios got Eaten AU Chapters 53-85

Chapters 1-52 <- Be sure to read part 1. Falin being alive does cause some ripple effects which will continue in this part.

Welcome back! Today we continue where the anime cut off. We'll be going all the way to right before the final confrontation. (Mainly because I haven't figured out how to resolve that yet. I might do two versions, a good end, and a bad end.)

Let's get going! Massive spoiler warning for canon, if it wasn't obvious.

Chapter 53-54:

Same as canon.

Chapter 55:

Everything is mostly the same except Laios shows up instead of Falin. When escaping, Laios is much less gentle with Thistle.

Falin gets turned into a gnome by the giant changling. She is quite smitten by ogre Marcille, though she tries to hide it.

While Seshi and Chilchuck prepare the burgers, Falin assists with the ointment. With her healing expertise, it turns out even better, and she prevents Senshi from using it to cook.

Chapter 56:

Chilchuck has been noticeably grumpier than usual. Not only has Marcille been bugging him about his wife, but the tension between Marcille and Falin is really getting on his nerves. As before, he claims to have cheated to shut her up.

They spot the bicorn and Falin looks it up in the guide. They come up with the plan to be sinful.

When doing envy, Marcille can't help but be annoyed how Chilchuck has been giving her and Falin such judgemental looks, but then he goes and flirts with Senshi.

Without Laios, greed is a little tricky. Falin yoinks Ambrosia, and plays keep-away for a bit. She's giggling so much, she nearly forgets about the bicorn.

Then Lust gets brought up. Chilchuck and Izutsumi stare at Falin and Marcille, but before they can defend themselves, Senshi points out that it isn't lust when it's between two people who respect each other. Marcille then tentatively suggests that maybe Chilchuck's infidelity counts.

After Chilchuck gets attacked, Falin and Senshi rush into action. Falin can't body check it, but a mace to the face has the same effect. They manage to restrain it, then Senshi beheads it.

Falin is very impressed by Marcille's romantic acumen. Chilchuck is mostly left wondering why the romance expert is having such trouble admitting her feelings.

Chapter 57:

The dullahan is a type of ghost, so Falin has no trouble warding it off.

Much to Marcille's chagrin, Senshi decides to start with the head, since those parts don't preserve as well as the muscle.

Chapter 58-59:

When Senshi is discovered, it's Chilchuck who fills the party in about succubi. Unlike Laios, Falin doesn't rush off to grab milk, but she does start sweating profusely.

Thanks to there being three of them conscious in the room, they last a bit longer against the succubi, but when a succubus appears targeting Falin, things quickly break down.

Falin's succubus... is Marcille. But not merely Marcille. Due to a rather lonely childhood, Falin has a few fetishes she had been repressing. The succubus reflecting them for all to see. If she hadn't had her life force drained, she would probably have fainted from the shame and embarrassment.

Izutsumi saves the day, and everyone slowly recovers.

Marcille and Falin are mortified, and can barely even look at each other. Chilchuck finally reaches his breaking point and demands that the two of them talk about their feelings instead of continuing to bottle them up.

They end up having a heartwarming conversation where they confess their feelings. Marcille confesses that she always felt caring and protective of Falin, but the strangely fluctuating age gap made her way too uncomfortable to admit she was developing romantic feelings. But now that they are both adults, she wants to give this a try. Falin confesses that she always admired Marcille and wanted to get closer, but Marcille kept (unintentionally) rejecting her advances, so she just assumed she wasn't into her, which is why she stopped trying. Falin is so glad she was wrong. The two share a loving hug.

Chilchuck is happy for them to finally have these feelings out in the open, and they don't seem to be the sort that used to cause issues in his old groups. However, as the resident dad, he puts his foot down and insists that until this adventure is over, no sleeping together.

Speaking of sleeping together, that reminds Marcille of the dream she had while unconscious.

Chapter 60:

Marcille's dream with the Lion is similar to Laios', but with a few key differences.

Instead of appealing to Laios' care for the monsters and environment, the lion talks about how it IS the power of the dungeon. The power that the ancients discovered and misused. The very power that Marcille has desperately been looking for.

This is all very tempting for her, but she's still uncertain about becoming queen of the golden country, so the lion creates the hypothetical dream.

Marcille 'wakes' to find herself in bed with Falin. After changing out of their pajamas, they explore with the lion. Marcille's kingdom is a place where all the races are treated equally, with magic prolonging their lives to match hers.

She has also incorporated her ideas about a 'safe dungeon', expanding on the golden country's monster domestication to allow the harvesting of all sorts of useful things. Laios is in charge of this program.

Overall, it's all very nice and reasonable. As the audience, we know the lion will actually convince her to try and envelop the world, but for now the scope is realistic.

Marcille doesn't remember most of the dream, but relates that the lion is watching them through Falin's pearlipede. She talks a little about the 'safe dungeon' stuff, but keeps the whole age equalization thing close to her chest. And of course, beware the canaries.

Chapter 61:

Mostly the same, though Kabru's reaction to having to eat monsters is a little less severe. He hates it, but Falin and her group seemed sane enough. He isn't worried about going insane like Laios, he's just severely repulsed by it.

Kabru's nightmare is about the Laigon, stalking and hunting him down before eating him whole. Somehow, despite the massive changes, Kabru still manages to be disgusted yet intrigued about Laios.

Chapter 62:

The first half is identical, with Mithrun's story.

But when they start talking about Falin, that's when they get a bit confused. Despite Kabu's skill, he couldn't get a good read on Falin's desires. She is friendly and kind and thinks monsters are neat, but he's really unsure what would happen if she became lord of the dungeon. The only strong desire Kabru could identify was her unyielding determination to save her brother.

Mithrun begins to suspect that Falin isn't the one the demon is targeting, but unfortunately, Kabru doesn't know enough about the rest of the party to deduce who it could be.

Once the bell goes off, Kabru isn't worried about Falin, but with the demon involved, and so many unknown variables, he decides to go after them.

Chapter 63:

Falin's pearlipede leads them to Thistle's house, and they cautiously make their way in after shooting the bird.

The phoenix proves difficult, but Falin's flame wards buy them enough time to realize it's keeping its distance from the table with the bodies. They manage to weaponize Yaad and defeat and eat the bird.

Chapter 64-65:

Marcille wrenches open the book and they meet the lion. They begin thinking of a way to take down the Laigon.

Falin points out that if the Laigon is hanging out with Thistle, then it hasn't been sleeping or hunting, so her brother is probably really hungry. Senshi points out that flight is very energetically demanding too, and his mouth is real small.

They quickly get to work. The rest of this chapter and chapter 65 are skipped, since they still have plenty of bicorn meat. Notably, due to the Laigon being able to fly, they will arrive quicker, but the gang doesn't need to hunt, so it works out.

Chapter 66:

Between his panicking and self-harm, Thistle takes a bit longer to figure out what to do, since the Laigon doesn't comfort him like the Faligon did.

Chapter 67:

As they watch Thistle and the Laigon arrive, Falin is having second thoughts. Seeing him again is making her think about the plan to eat the dragon parts later. After all, isn't this exactly what Laios always wanted? But can he even survive on the surface like that? What if they save and restore him... and he's furious with her for ruining his dream.

The Laigon takes the bait and excitedly (and messily) devours the bicorn curry and rice. He then curls up and goes to sleep.

Unlike Laios, Falin doesn't consider that the chimera might have more than one brain. Tears in her eyes, she carefully approaches, and swings her mace-staff with all her might.

Falin breaks down crying. Marcille sees the results, and heals Laios' fractured head without reviving him. Now he's just sleeping. After a group hug to comfort her, Falin redoubles her determination, and they go to confront Thistle.

Chapter 68:

Identical, other than some slight name-drop changes.

Chapter 69:

Marcille has long term plans for being dungeon lord, but for now they plan to just use it to help Laios.

Falin isn't surprised to hear that Marcille is a half-elf. She suspected for a while. However, Thistle's callous taunting quickly pisses her off, and when he mentions the sterility, he nearly falls over as a stone spike erupts through the table and nearly impales him.

Infuriated, Thistle warps the room and unleashes the dragons.

The rest of the chapter plays out the same, with everyone getting separated. Falin escapes to the shelf, but everyone else gets got.

Chapter 70:

As the dragons begin fighting each other, Falin hides behind some bowls and starts chanting something while keeping an eye on Thistle.

Once he is distracted shouting orders at the dragons, she takes careful aim with her staff, and unleashes her spell, teleporting right behind Thistle, and disarming him. She may not be as burly as Laios, but Falin is a tough girl, and is easily able to overpower the elf twink.

Chapter 71:

She ties him up to her back and starts retrieving everyone's bodies.

Thistle cries fraud, and Falin explains that teleportation is actually a fairly recent invention. No wonder Thistle was terrified of Mithrun. This is the sort of magic not even the ancients were aware of.

Falin is still furious at Thistle, but decides to make a deal with him. He may choose. Either she kills him, and the party does as they please, or he may dispel the dragons and restore the room, and remain as their prisoner. If he does this, he has her word that they will do nothing to harm the people of the golden country.

Chapter 72:

Thistle, terrified what they may do to his people (An empty implied threat, but Thistle doesn't know that), reluctantly agrees. She lets him have his book just long enough to dispel his magic (Under threat that she'll teleport a rock into his head if he doesn't return it right away. Another empty threat), then she ties him up again, using proper rope, so he can't even move.

Falin revives the rest of the party. Marcille is very distraught that she died, and hugs Falin tightly. They are all very impressed that Falin managed to pull it off.

The lion is miffed that it can't feed on Thistle's desires while its current marks are watching. To make matters worse, Marcille is in no hurry to unseal the book, slamming it shut so she can rest after being revived.

Marcille and Falin talk about half-elves while Isutsumi and Chilchuck go grab drinks. Thistle continues to seethe.

Senshi prepares the tiny green dragon. He doesn't have the plant nectar, but it still turns out great. They feed some to the tied up Thistle. He reluctantly admits it's pretty good.

The gang take shifts over the night to watch the prisoner. As a curse of immortality person, Thistle doesn't need to sleep.

Chapter 73-74:

Marcille wakes up with a massive hangover. For a moment, she conflates a dream she had with last night, and panics that her first 'time' with Falin wasn't in her right mind.

Kabru arrives with the canaries. No one knows about Marcille's black magic, and Falin is pretty reasonable, so Kabru is optimistic about this meeting between them and the canaries.

Izutsumi and Marcille hide upstairs, Senshi prepares tea stuff, and Thistle sits in the corner, still seething.

Negotiations... go shockingly well! The canaries are impressed they were able to capture Thistle alive, and after a little questioning, it's clear Falin hasn't fallen under the dungeon's spell. They are a little grossed out by the bavarois, but most adventurers are a little weird.

When Falin mentions the lion, Kabru asks for permission to explain the danger. After all, the reason demon discussion is banned is to hide the existence of wish granting, and they already know about that part.

With Chilchuck and Kabru's help, Falin ends up coming to a very satisfactory deal with the elves. They will hand over Thistle and the books, on the condition that the canaries' forces provide all the assistance they can in preserving, transporting, and eating Laios. Falin is even able to cite the phoenix as evidence that this plan is viable.

Falin and Pattadol shake on it, and everyone is excited that the danger has passed.

Unfortunately, this premature happy ending is disrupted by something everyone forgot about.

Falin's pearlipede is privy to this entire conversation. And so is the lion. It manages to pop out of the unsealed half, and warns Marcille about the canaries, fueling her fear, and when Mithrun breaks into her room as the negotiations are being finalized, Marcille panics and unseals the lion.

Chapter 75:

Chaos erupts in the house as no one is quite sure what is going on. The canaries rush upstairs to help Mithrun, but they fail to stop Marcille before she declares her lordship.

The canaries are attacked by giant spiders while Marcille absconds. She vanishes before Falin or the others can see her. Falin's party heads upstairs to find Marcille, but only find dead spiders and wrapped up elves.

Chapter 76:

They help Lycion and Kabru carry everyone outside, including Thistle. Lycion fills Falin in on what happened upstairs and she is mortified. They leave Thistle with them, and head out into the remixed dungeon to try and find Marcille and talk her down.

Chapter 77-78:

Everyone receives word that Falin has taken down the lord of the dungeon.

When the chaos starts to unfold, Flamela receives an update from Lycion. Negotiations had been going well with Falin, but a member of her party went rogue, and is now the lord.

With Falin's party confirmed to be working to stop Marcille, the canaries do not attack them, instead focusing on finding Marcille.

Worried that the elves will kill Marcille, Namari, Toshiro, and the Orcs head out to try and find Marcille or Falin first.

Chapter 79-80:

Marcille has approximately 25% less longing in her eyes as she stares at Laios frozen in ice.

Not being in quite the same rush as canon, they don't accidentally fall in the water, instead running down the stairs.

They find the mushrooms and retrieve their stuff. The familiars are disconcerting, but at least they are ostensibly on their side.

They attempt to head in the direction the mushrooms were heading, but don't get far before hitting a dead end. As they try to figure out what to do, a massive flying snake pounces and gobbles them up.

The party panics as the long thin chamber begins to slowly fill with fluid. With the mouth clamped shut, they decide to run as far back as they can. Falin is pretty sure intestines don't have acid, right?

After a harrowing few minutes, they are pooped out in Marcille's front yard.

After reuniting and bathing, Falin tells Marcille about their deal with the canaries, and implores Marcille to reconsider.

Marcille refuses and reveals her dream. Falin doesn't laugh at her, but is concerned. She remembers how miserable the people of the golden country were. Surely the dungeon's power can only extend lives through that same curse.

Notably, due to not eating Thistle, the lion is still in its quadrupedal form. The lion does its best to convince Falin and the others, but after what Kabru told them about the demon, it rings pretty hollow.

Falin refuses to help the demon, not wanting Marcille to become another Thistle.

Marcille is upset, and decides she can make her dream come true by herself. She has the gang confined to the kitchen. She'll do it herself, and they'll see how lovely her dream is later.

Chapter 81:

Falin has no idea what kind of monster Donato is.

Operation Hometown Cuisine proceeds as normal, though Falin doesn't have the realization about Marcille's fears, since she didn't pry into her nightmare.

After failing her persuasion roll on Marcille, Falin gets fed up and grabs Donato's hand, then teleports the doppelganger out of the tree.

Chapter 82:

Identical.

Chapter 83:

Mostly the same. Kabru isn't a prisoner. While the canaries prepare to fight the monster army, they have Kabru escort Thistle to the entrance. Thistle is mostly just resigned at this point. He spots the golden country as part of the new patchwork dungeon, and notices it is off in the corner away from the action. At least Marcille isn't putting them in danger.

Kabru meets up with Toshiro, Namari, and the orcs.

Chapter 84:

Ofc Falin also comes up with the mushroom disguises. Toshiro isn't sure how to feel seeing Falin dressed as a big dumb shroom.

Falin frantically explains how she's pretty sure the lion had been grooming Marcille to be the lord the whole time. That's why she's so out of control.

Lycion explains that when things get this bad, the only solution is to kill the dungeon lord. Thistle calls bullshit. He lost the position without being killed. Lycion clarifies that as long as the demon supports them, there is no other solution.

So Falin proposes they deal with the demon itself.

Lycion shoots that down too. As everyone heads out to fight the monsters, Falin is left despondent.

At Marcille's behest, the lion possesses the pearlipede, engulfing her arm, and speaks to Falin. It tries to convince her to join Marcille. After all, don't they love each other? Chilchuck retorts that if you really love someone, both sides have to be willing to compromise.

The lion tries another tactic. It asks about their favorite foods. Falin's favorite food is ice cream, particularly a swirl of orange sherbet and vanilla ice cream. (If she had been given the chance, she would have discovered exorcism sorbet to be her favorite.)

Unlike Laios, who realizes the lion's weakness in this fight, Falin is just left feeling even more hopeless. But ultimately, she decides to head for Marcille, not knowing what else to do.

Chapter 85:

Falin is quite delighted to see Laios, and is sure it means Marcille isn't too far gone.

Things proceed mostly the same, except Falin again poofs the doppelgangers away. As the party keeps climbing towards Marcille, Falin throws out the armor piercing questions. If Marcille is so callous to create fake versions of her parents, why not just create fake versions of her friends that agree with her dream.

Because a fake isn't the real thing. And what Falin wants is Marcille. The real Marcille.

Marcille starts to break down, admitting that the whole reason she's doing this is because she can't stand the thought of losing Falin and the rest of her friends.

Falin gently embraces Marcille, and explains. If Marcille spends all her time worrying about when their time together will end, then they won't get to enjoy the time they do have together. As they look deep into each other's eyes, Marcille's eyes swimming with tears, she leans forward and-

Senshi ruins the moment by explaining that they already know how to live longer healthier lives. A BALANCED DIET! A HEALTHY CIRCADIAN RHYTHM! AND MODERATE EXERCISE.

The moment is ruined, but it's okay. Marcille clings to Falin as she can't help but laugh as she sobs. Falin smiles and gently rubs Marcille's back. Everything finally feels like it's going to be okay.

Right?

Chapter 86-Finale

[cillyscribbles]

my modern!cats au giving me, an avid non-smoker, thoughts about smoking and self image, of all things. i will put them under the cut, but meanwhile! enjoy this 1. shameless illustration of my own fic 2. tugger not quite loving the makeup (or costuming) of his poet-murderer role. (yes a local staging of roberto zucco changed my life, very nice of you to ask!)

so smoking bad etc etc don't smoke. anyway, all three brothers deuteronomy smoke, or at least have smoked for large chunks of their lives, albeit for wildly different reasons and standpoints.

munkustrap's been smoking since middle school, his start more or less aligning with the time period when old deuteronomy falls sick, grizabella ramps up her work, and munkustrap, at the ripe old age of maybe 14, starts managing the household and finances and whatnot.

he wishes he'd never started smoking, don't get me wrong. he wishes the relief of the thing wasn't worth it. he quits and starts again throughout the years, over and over and over, climbing into the third decade of the habit without being able to break it, never moving past the numbed feeling of failure for it. it's the one crack you'll occasionally catch in that aged picture of constant steadfastness and responsibility he's got going on.

to be unable to handle it all feels to him as good as giving up entirely. he smokes behind the school. he puts away the ashtrays when he has guests over. he doesn't like smoking with company, and he hates his shame being made known. if you'll allow me a pretentious second, it's sort of like an upward climb that he wants to take on alone so nobody else sees him stumble, and no one helps him if he twists an ankle. it's fine by him because he needs to be able to handle it himself. he needs to.

so. all this, versus tugger, who started well into adulthood and barrelled into it full and consciously. tugger, who smokes to replace sleep and sanity when his life runs on cigarettes and caffeine. but nothing more. he doesn't care to quit, he doesn't care to change. cigarettes look good between his fingers. he knows how to hold them pretty, like he knows everything else about himself that builds the picture he wants.

and, on a more interpersonal level, it upsets him that munkustrap is so acutely ashamed of it, the same way munkustrap is upset tugger is so casual about it. to some degree, though, i think that's because tugger's entirely hyperaware of how fragile life is and on how small a technicality shit can go sideways and end up killing him or anyone else. it's hard for him not to think about it. but it gives him some sort of strength to look for morbid humour in the things munkustrap wouldn't let himself laugh at, i think. it's gallows humour, to be fair, but it's good humour to tugger nonetheless. he finds stakes if not thrilling then certainly intriguing.

besides, making any sort of change to himself for other people, to tugger, is like betraying himself. he's built up that resistance to outside influence, and he's built it up hard and total. he doesn't mold, he doesn't bend, he'll do and look and say whatever he wants, he associates seeking validation strictly with misery. he doesn't understand munkustrap's frustration, or desire to please people, nor does he want to.

the thing with how tugger is, i think, is that he's just prodded at enough for both the street culture he grew up in and the inclination towards self-preservation of someone visibly queer to mesh together into something that can be spectacular and unmovable, and sometimes still turn ugly. i think curiosity is easy to push into cruelty with tugger.

shame is easy to mock for someone who's overcome it and tries hard to forget how insidious it can be. i think both munkustrap and tugger can be cruel to each other without wanting to and without really transgressing toward each other in a way that would dent their relationship, primarily because it's such a strong relationship but also because they're used to some sort of cruelty from the world at least, they just know better where to hit each other verbally to mess each other up. so. self-control, boys. comes to one of them easier than the other, LOL. and again, don't get me wrong. tugger doesn't want to be cruel to munkustrap, but it's not always a thing he can push away the instinct for. munkustrap doesn't want to be cruel to tugger, but he's been making hard decisions for ages and all but expects someone to be hurt by the end of it, and tugger is manageable. so. damn

[blizzardfluffykpop]

Delight

Summary: Your first Christmas engaged to Vernon. 

Oneshot

Fluff, Engaged au

Word Count: 1,058

Vernon X Reader

Not Requested

Prompt: 5. “Your mom made me a gift?” “Yeah, you’re a part of the family now.” 

------

You had about an hour and thirty minutes before he’d arrive, and you can’t help but look at your engagement ring. It hasn’t been long since Vernon proposed to you. You had been dating for a few years and shortly after you met his family last Christmas. He popped the question. You had wanted to meet his family sooner, but with everyone’s clashing schedules, it was impossible to meet before last Christmas. And this year, while you weren't unavailable, Vernon and you wanted to celebrate at least a portion of your first Christmas engaged alone. More than likely, you'd be over there for dinner. Considering neither of you were skilled in the kitchen, and even if you were, neither of you held a candle to their skills yet.

You tidy up a few things around the house, wanting it to look more festive in the living room before changing into your festive clothes. Sofia calls you as you’re putting on a sweater. You answer, “Hey, what’s up?” She asks, “Is Non with you?” You shake your head, “No, not for another hour.” You hear her groan, “He was supposed to pick something up, and I was wondering where he was.” You hum, unsure how to answer, and she gasps, “Where have you been!? She told you to pick this up two days ago!” You can hear him on the other end explain he’s been busy. And you laugh, and she goes, “(Y/n), you’re still on the line!” You say, “Yeah.” “I have to let you go, but I'll see you later. Have a good time unwrapping presents!” You smile and tell her, “Yeah, you too.” You look at the clock. You have less than an hour before you see him again.

You grin as you hear the door unlock. “Non!” He smiles, “(N/n)!” He joins you on the couch, and you pull him in for a hug. He whispers, “I’ve missed you.” You kiss his cheek, “I’ve missed you too.” You pull away and look him in the eyes, “How’s everyone?” He smiles, “They’re good. They told me they will miss our presence at dinner tonight if we don't go.” You laugh, “I’m glad. We’ll celebrate fully with them next year. I'm so excited for your parent's cooking later.” He laughs, “Me too.” You giggle, “Too bad we’re not better in the kitchen.” He laughs, “Even if we were they'd shoo us away.” You laugh as you agree. He pauses, “You know what's special about this Christmas?” You smile and look down at your matching engagement rings, “We're engaged.” He smiles, and he kisses your nose, “Exactly.”  

You kiss his nose before pulling him up from the couch and sitting in front of your gifts. You both take turns guessing what was in the wrapping paper, high-fiving every time you get one right. Seeing his eyes light up in delight or shock made the holiday feel complete. He gasps as he opens a box you got him, “No way!” He looks at it more carefully, “You got me a new chain?” You smile, “Yeah, I thought it would be perfect.” He smiles, “It is.” You open your next gift and gasp, “Non!” He asks, “You like them?” You smile. It’s two rings that match the ring he proposed to you. You smile, “I love them.” You slip them onto the opposite hand and finish opening the rest of your gifts.  

When you finish unwrapping your last gift, you get up and say, “Let’s sort our stuff and the trash later?” He agrees, and you hold your hand out, which he takes, and help him up. You both walk over to the couch, “It was fun, but it was a lot.” He agrees, and you see him wearing the new chain you had gotten him. Once you settle into the cushions, he says, “And there’s something else too.” You tilt your head, “Is it what Sofia was hinting at?” He nods, reaches behind him, and pulls out a beautifully wrapped gift with a homemade bow. 

You look at the tag, “From: Mrs. Chwe To: (Y/n)” You gasp, “She got me something?” He nods, and you carefully take off the bow, trying to preserve its poofiness. He watches as you open it, and you pull back tape by tape, trying to hold yourself from crying. You pull it from its paper and see it’s a beautiful (f/c) knitted sweater. “Your mom made me a gift?” He smiles, “Yeah, you’re a part of the family now.”  He whispers, “Look at the cuffs.” And you nearly cry from awe. It’s your first name embroidered on the right sleeve and your last on the left. You bring it close to you and watch as he unzips his hoodie, revealing a multi-colored sweater. “I didn’t want to spoil the surprise.” 

He shows you his cuffs which have his first and last name on either one. You shake your head, your tears finally beginning to fall. You take off your current sweater and trade it for the one she made you out of love. “If you didn’t already ask me to marry you this year. I would say this is my favorite gift I’ve received this year.” He pulls you over and wipes your tears, “So, is this your second favorite gift ever?” You tell him, “No, you're my favorite gift.” He shakes his head and kisses your neck, “You’re cheesy.” You laugh, “But this is a close third.” You kiss his forehead, “When we see your mother later. I’m giving her a big hug.” He grins, “I didn’t expect any different.” 

You lean your head against his shoulder, “I love you and your family. I hope you know that.” He lays his head over yours, “We love you more, but I love you most.” You smile, putting your engagement ring finger against his. “Yeah, I know.” Which makes you both laugh, and you click your rings together. He covers your hand in his and interlocks your fingers. “I know it’s been a few months, but it’s surreal.” You smile, “It’s the best kind of surreal.” “Yeah.” You stay like that for an hour before cleaning up and heading to his parent's house. As you approach the door to ring it, he goes, “Maybe next year we’ll have our first married Christmas?” You smile, “Definitely.”

[izelthewashbear]

Good news: we finally know why c!Martyn fell off between his win in Limited life, and then his recent placements in Secret life and Wild life!

Bad news: Not angsty enough.

Worry not, for I have already thought of three (3) alternative reasons for why Martyn fell off the way he did!

(disclaimer: this post is NOT meant to signify that Eyes and Ears is a bad AU by any means. I respect the decisions that Martyn makes (as much as I wanna toss this man into a wall sometimes), but I decided to give this one thing my own little spin, since I've already been thinking about it for a while. Enjoy!)

These headcanons are placed in a particular order: 1 fits pretty well into EaE AU and technically could be canon if Martyn likes it ig?, 2 is a pretty neutral one that could fit into any AU or interpretation (+ is the closest one to what Martyn said on his lore stream, but a little different) and 3 is one I personally use in my own AU, called Preservers AU, or The ones who watch, the ones who listen, the ones who kill AU (WLK for short).

1. Martyn got fucked up the same way Cleo and Pearl did in Double life.

While doing research into EaE and watching Limited Life lore stream a while back, one particular thing caught my attention. As you may remember, in session 6, Cleo and Pearl were absent and Gem and Lizzie came to fill in for them. I really liked what Martyn lored there - the idea that Double Life messed up with them so much (especially Pearl, but Cleo too) that even after "resting" in the eternal fuckass void that the Watchers throw them into (the void has no name, so may I propose the name I use in my own AU - The Midway, as in the middle of the way between different worlds) they weren't quite in the right mindset to enter the games again - hence, for example, Pearl talking about Tilly in ep 1 of LimL. So, their souls got snached by the Watchers, threw into the void like into a microwave when you need to heat up your food for just a minute longer, and their conciousnesses were replaced with Gem and Lizze's.

And what if the same should've happened to Martyn?

Let's be honest, winning this series messes everyone up, especially if it ends by you backstabbing the only person who was nice to you the whole season (+ some random guy who just happened to be too close to your sword). Especially if we take into account the interpretation that Martyn got briefly possessed by the Watchers as he killed them ("time is delicious" yada yada yada, we know what you are sir). I can totally believe that this win messed with him enough that at the beginning of Secret life, he was still a bit woozy, a bit disjointed. That would explain him being the first yellow, first red, as well as ending up in the bottom half of the leaderboard for the first time. Funny how he was still the only person to never fail a task, I guess even when fucked up by the Watchers he still has his 300 IQ.

But why didn't the Watchers snatch him during Secret life and put him back into the aforementioned void? Cuz they like torturing him too much and they were like "naaaaaah he'll be fineeee" (he wasn't). Or, they wanted to, but they accidentally snatched the wrong blond guy (aka Tango) (just like in Wild life, they mixed up their blondes again and got Martyn killed before Jimmy).

2. The nihilism route

Martyn's explanation during the lore stream was that c!Martyn, after he won, stopped caring about his performance and decided to chill out a bit, hence him doing worse and worse each subsequent season. But c'mon dude, where's the angst? So I propose a slightly changed version.

You go through four painful, draining, exhausting death games. Each time you die too early to reach your goal. You see your friends die, and you die painfully as well. Until one day, it happens. You win, you kill everyone. You're ecstatic, now you can fix everything, free everyone, change everyone's fate and be free-

And then you're tossed into a new game. All your happy murder time didn't matter. You're right back where you started. Not to mention, the one you were fighting for isn't around, still. So what do you do? Wallow in sorrow, of course! You're all stuck and you're all fucked! There is no escape! Nothing matters! (/neg)

So yeah what Martyn said but make it sadder

3. The Watchers hate you, personally (spoilers for my AU! + if it sounds stupid out of context I'm sorry)

(TW for body horror, oops)

So I'm no stranger to writing horrible fates to characters I really like (and unfortunately that includes c!Martyn, this guy is just too fun to mangle repeatedly). In my AU, after a win, each player is granted a singular wish from the Watchers - and that wish is twisted into a sick version, making up the new game. WLK!Martyn, the nosey bastard he is, asked to know everything about the Watchers - all their secrets, all their knowledge, how to defeat them. Watchers said "bet" and in return, gouged out his eye and replaced it with their own, "lending" him some of their powers (with the side effects being migraines, insomnia, being flashed with horrifying visions, throbbing pains in half of his skull and falling off in general). So uh yeah, guy that loses an eye in such a fashion and doesn't have any time to recover will probably have a hard time placing high again.

It could also be made into a non-WLK version where the Watchers mangled him in some other way. Sorry Listeners but you can't save your boy from that, he too far gone

So I hope you liked my little ramble! If you have any of your own ideas, interpretations or even questions lemme know, I love loring and I wanna outlore the lore guy one day :3

[terresdebrume]

Back in late September I made a poll to know what fic I should work on, completely forgetting I was about to run headfirst into the end of year rut (plus moving plus other life projects) so I ended up predictably writing nothing of substance aside from a quick snippet in an AU that has cool aesthetic but not enough foundation to stand on its legs -_-

So, as a way to finally start working on the most popular option from that poll (aka: the one where a Catland kiss is the spark that gets Payneland started) I'm going to just write and post the first draft on Tumblr and then I'll clean it up into a more proper story for AO3. @kepodewers you asked to be tagged in case that happened so watch this space (unless you want to wait for the polished version). This is based on this prompt from @stinastar which I got somewhere around forever ago^^" I'm very sorry about the delay and the rushed format, I hope it satisfies anyway! Fair warning: it starts out pretty angsty.

ETA: Important note: Like all my first drafts this is going to be posted in several snippets! I'll be making separate posts for each I think, unless the overwhelming consensus is that people would rather have a chain of reblogs

Edwin falls through the floor.

He hasn't lost control of his corporeality since his first week back on Earth and never that badly. The thought of it would be mortifying any other day, but not today. Today, it is a relief. Today, Edwin's entire being is intent on denying his death harder than it ever has before. Blood pulses in his ears as he finally comes to a stop in the basement of their building, tears burn in his eyes and in his throat, and his heart claws at the inside of his ribs with the ferocity of a hell hound. Half-blind with tears, Edwin pulls his right foot out of the ground, spins around, and rushes to the staircase as soon as he spots it.

His feet clatter up the steps, the door bangs in his wake, and when he bursts through the front door he cannot even manage to avoid running straight through Crystal. She calls out his name and Edwin slows down, trying to decide if he can stand to speak to anyone right now—

"Edwin!"

Edwin turns around just in time to see Charles phase through the door, through Crystal—continue without even apologizing to her—and then... And then his feet turn around again, carry him across the street and into the little park there, Charles' footsteps thundering after him.

"Edwin, wait!"

Edwin ignores Charles' pleading tone. He has never done that before. Not for a case, not for a reward, not even to preserve his own existence. Nothing could have forced him to ignore Charles then, no amount of danger, no amount of torture, no amount of pain. Except, it seems, if Charles himself were the source of Edwin's distress.

"Leave me alone!" Edwin yells over his shoulder, harsher than he meant but unable to stop and soften his voice.

Charles hasn't caught up with him, Edwin knows that. He is the much faster runner of the two, especially with the novelty of needing more distance from Charles than ever before. Perhaps it is that knowledge that stops him in his tracks when he hears Charles gasp.

"Edwin," Charles tries again, but Edwin shakes his head, ignoring the jogger that goes through him with a disgruntled shiver.

"Charles, please," he pleads, "please leave me alone. I can't—"

"Edwin, please, talk to me," Charles begs.

He is standing in the middle of the street, hands up as if to calm down a distressed client. He looks so genuinely distraught, so sincerely hurt, that Edwin feels bad for the way he is acting. He wishes he could be a better person. Wishes he could be a better friend. Yet, when he tries to speak his voice comes out cold and cutting in a way he never thought he could have used against Charles.

"I fail to see what there is to say. You made it quite clear before that you were uninterested in what I had to offer. It is hardly my place to be upset about where they lay instead!"

"But you are upset," Charles replies, and the lack of denial feels like a knife going right through Edwin's chest.

"Well, Charles," he says, a sob clinging to the cold fury that laces his voice, "I think you might be able to understand why I am."

"Look, Edwin, Thomas—"

"'Thomas'?" Edwin exclaims, anger and hurt dragging his voice down, making Charles flinch. "Thom—what happened to 'That Cat King'? What happened to 'Whiskers'?"

"Edwin—"

"You know, it is your right to move on," Edwin says, pressing his hands together so hard he is half afraid to damage his nonexistent gloves. "I understand that my feelings do not entitle me to your affections, but I would have thought you would at least have had the courtesy to let me know you had figured 'the rest' out! I would have thought you would at least told me so I didn't have to find out like this!"

Edwin closes his eyes, half to avoid the look of hurt mixed with almost fear on Charles' face, half to catch the flood of tears threatening to spill on his face as he remembers. Coming through the mirror. Looking around for Charles, so eager to show him the new book he acquired. Finding him sitting on their sofa, with his hands on the Cat King's hip, his head tilted back, the long column of his throat all but offered up to the other man as he cradled Charles' face in his hands and kissed him with exactly the sort of tenderness Edwin would endure another seventy years of Hell to give Charles.

"Please," Edwin repeats, "leave me alone. At least for now."

And Charles, silent and pale, nods and turns around, and leaves Edwin alone.

[yandere-fics]

♡ Elisha Book AU Expanded ♡

(Can't really be taken as fully accurate Elisha lore, because obviously when you encounter her in the usual timeline she's 23 and in this she's about 19. It is true though that she was slacking off on her job just a bit when she first came into the world, only killing things that approached her but otherwise not seeking things out like they wanted her to and when she was 19 the gods did decide they needed to torment her to push her forward, in this they decided to do it by killing her lover but in the normal timeline what actually happened was they just killed her traveling party who had been helping her get used to the new land, she wasn't super attached to them but it still hurt her.)

You had always been fond of the idea of falling into another world, isekai novels happened to be your favorite and even when bad thing happened to the main character that you would never want occurring to you, the fantasy of it was very fun. Your favorite however had been a book named 'The Saintess and I', not a world you would want to fall into unlike the other novel you read but you loved it all the same. The first half of the story took place from a priestess's perspective, bound to serve the same gods that were tormenting the chosen one, able to help the saintess when her gods allowed it but ultimately having to follow her gods rules even at the detriment of the saintess. It was a heart wrenching love story to read with a love interest who you knew basically everything about. Every creator comment, any small detail, little additional fact books, you read them. Of course the twist in the second half of the book was the main character being sick of having to chose the gods over the one she loved, ultimately dying because she defied the will of the gods, the chosen one was not supposed to have a lover, not before they completing the duty they were summoned to fulfill and even then fighting monsters and dragons was always supposed to take priority over the lover they took for their rest of their entire life until a new hero would be summoned and the process would repeat. At a certain point it had begun to feel as though the gods were just toying with the love interest and at the climax at the saintess's doubting of the gods they stole her lover from her. Part of the reason this was not a world you would have wanted to be dragged into, the gods were cruel and there was no winning against them, even in the end when the saintess killed them all in revenge the world was burned to pieces, completely unrecognizable as the priestess came to, the former saintess kneeling before her and promising in this new world they would be gods and nothing could ever hurt the priestess again. It was all very romantic, you couldn't help but squeal whenever you got to that part of the book but it was on the list of worlds you would never personally want to be in, no matter what character you were in the story your fate was not going to be good. Even as a background character there was still a high chance that you'd die as collateral for the fight between the saintess and the gods.

You were something much worse than even a background character. The priestess, doomed to die tragically just before your love story could even truly begin. A catalyst for the saintess's heart rowing pitch black. The priestess in the story had not died an easy death, in the book your character started to develop more and more pain each time she tried to deny what the gods wanted. The gods warned her if she didn't stop her escapades with the chosen one then she would need to die for going against fate but against all warning she went to see the saintess, trying to break it off only for the saintess to kiss her instead. Your character vomited blood and then fell into a long coma, held in the temple, preserved by the gods to taunt the saintess. The message was clear that what happened to the priestess would happen to anyone the saintess got close to until she managed to complete the tasks she had been summoned for, something she wasn't near the power level for and so she left to go train for two years, growing stronger than the gods had even expected before finding where the gods were and slaughtering them in a battle that wiped out most of the life living in the kingdom. Needless to say, you wouldn't be taking part in this horrible deathfest.

The moment you woke up as your character you knew immediately who you were, the simple priestess in the temple who shared your name and looked almost identical to you, so much that it was uncanny, like the gods were fucking with you. It wouldn't have put it past the gods of this world to screw with you like that or perhaps they took you because the you from this world wouldn't obey orders so they assumed someone who knew what was going to happen would do the right thing and not get involved with the saintess. You couldn't really be sure why you were here but whatever the reason, you needed to leave. Not before getting a glimpse of the saintess herself. A rugged girl who had been in the world for a few years at that point though not yet having completed the task the gods had summoned her here to complete which is why at the point in the story you were in, the gods had decided to torment her just a little to push her to stop slacking off and to go kill the dragon they wanted her to kill. The book art really hadn't done her justice though, in the covers Elisha wore a ceremonial gown but the creator of the book had said she usually dressed far more masculine and it truly was a sight to behold. Her training with her spear, the thing that would one day pierce through the gods heart was enough to make you drool but you weren't about to make the same mistake your character made so reluctantly you'd pulled yourself away from watching and decided to leave the temple through a secret passage that had been described in the book, unaware of the eyes watching you leave the training that day.

Elisha didn't get much positive attention from members of the temple, not outwardly. The atmosphere was pleasant but no one dared speak to her much or look at her with any affection in their eyes, she imagined there were strict orders from their god that she hadn't completed her task yet and so she wasn't to be shown any form of kindness until it was done. Even members who had the best intentions had to keep their exchanges quick and formal, only doing things like giving her hot water for baths when the temple usually only ever had cold or making sure her room was always extremely tidy. You however couldn't keep the expression of admiration off your face when you looked at her. It was nice, the gods were not going to be happy about that. She could almost even feel her heart sink when you backed out of the training room with a gloomy expression on your face. She had to make sure you'd be okay after that display and so she asked around only to discover you had been missing from the temple. You left it all together, she didn't know why but it had to have had something to do with the interaction you'd had with her so she went to fetch you under the pretense of just lending the temple a hand. You were so easy to track, she found it somewhat charming.

"So, what 'cha doing out here? It's dangerous so far from the temple." She hide her delight when she saw just how you stared back at her, finally noticing she had tracked you here. This crush of yours was as adorable as it was dangerous. She couldn't decide if she wanted to foster a relationship with you or force this to come to an end. She decided then she'd just have to protect you if the gods tried to strip this happiness from her. She'd go back and complete their stupid task just so she'd be able to pursue this without too much interference.

"I uhm… I just decided being a priestess wasn't for me?" She had hoped you'd tell her the truth, you were clearly lying but she supposed she'd do this the hard way, sprinkling some truth serum in the food you were cooking for yourself while you were looking away nervously, sitting herself down on a log.

"Oh yeah? Guess I'll need to follow you until I learn your real agenda then, baby. Serve me some of that food." You glanced back at her trying your best not to squeal that your favorite love interest ever had just called you baby before nervously serving the food that you'd been cooking. It only took a bite for you to start spilling everything. The plot of the book you were in, how much you loved reading about her, even down to a mole that she didn't even realize she had on her ankle and was surprised you knew about. She didn't really believe this was in a book like you said it was but she did assume you might have been given a prophecy you'd interpreted wrong. Either way she was hooked on you and wasn't going to allow the gods to meddle with her life so she decided to let you leave that night, training herself day and night after that thinking of the day she could finally go to her priestess and tell you it was safe for the both of you to love each other. Unlike in the book though she was even more in love with you and so it had only taken a year for her to gather the strength to kill the gods.

You woke up in the temple yet again, unsure of how you had gotten there, you'd left the country after you escaped the temple but here you were, with a horrifying monster grinning down at you. As you looked up though you realized it was in fact Elisha, just with a more dragon like appearance than before. The books you read never described how she looked after she obtained the power to kill the gods, just that it had been almost unrecognizable. You should had assumed it would have had something to do with dragons though considering in the book the gods were always nagging Elisha to do something about the dragon problem and while part of that was because dragons were eating people at alarming rates, it had been hinted at in the book that they were scared of what power dragons could obtain if left unchecked. Her appearance confirmed it though and the wings confirmed to you part of how she had managed to bring you back to the temple.

"Did I do a good job baby?" You gave a shaky nod as you stared into the eyes of your favorite character, changed forever beyond repair. You always thought the scene was romantic in the past but now you knew why your character had been horrified, seeing someone she had loved in the book destroy themselves for her. You wished you'd never gotten brought into this book, it should have stayed a silly fantasy you had.

[sinner-sunflower]

A HH Lucifer-centric AU 12/?

PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10, PART 11, PART 13, PART 14, PART 15, PART 16, PART 17, PART 18, PART 19, PART 20, PART 21, PART 22

Fun fact:

I was supposed to include Heaven in this. The og plot was like Heaven was already friendly with them- like Luci's siblings, and they were supposed to be in the meeting back in chapter 4 and 5.

The argument would have been that Heaven is bound to help because Roo won't stop at Hell and it will eventually reach Heaven, making it their problem too.

But obviously I had a change of plans and I think this plot would be better.

A plot fit for a possible sequel, one might say.

Apologies for the shortness of the chapter but thank you still for the constant support! Your likes, reblogs, and comments are the things that give me inspiration to do this every day!

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The good news is the problem has not reached any of the upper rings in his absence. The bad news? Sloth is almost devoured.

Overgrown roots have enveloped the main city's buildings, he can't even see the Goetia territory anymore. The blood-red flowers are still spewing black miasma and he can feel it slightly burn his skin.

Lucifer thinks that this is what real Hell looks like.

This means that everyone is just exerting enough power to keep it at bay but not enough to fully stop it. Lucifer was right in his decision to look for Goodie. Speaking of Goodie- the embodiment of good barely reacts. If she's being burned by the mist, she's doing a pretty good job of not showing it.

Goodie: Oh my. What trouble you are causing, Roo.

A fucking understatement but Lucifer won't argue. This is trouble, but a million times worse.

Lucifer: Let's go.

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At one corner of Sloth, the Sins and the other higher powers of Hell have just finished another round of the sealing ritual. They've been going at it a month straight, there is no end in sight, and they are exhausted. Even Alastor is mostly drained as he is leaning a lot on his cane.

Beelzebub: Fuck! I knew this wasn't going to be easy but what the fuck?!

Someone scoffs.

Vox: Maybe if our dear king is here this would be over. Like, where the fuck is he huh??

Leviathan: Don't forget who you are speaking to, filthy sinner!

Vox: Oh boohoo. If we're all gonna die anyway, why should I be afraid of you? Should've known that absentee of a ruler left us all to rot after damning us here in the first place-

Vox suddenly finds a giant hand wrapped around his throat. It took him a few seconds of reconfiguration before he clearly saw who the fuck-

Vox: Fuckin- gah! Alastor!

Alastor has transformed into a taller, lankier, and more sinister of himself. Eyes turned into radio dials, face, and body adorned with glowing green stitches like a puppet whose master has on a string.

Alastor: Shouldn't frivolous televisions come with a silent setting?

Vox: Fuck! Off!

Alastor: Hahaha! What is the matter, Vox? You seem to have developed the illusion that you are the strongest person in the room. Shall I remind you of what came about your moth friend?

Velvette: You better let him go, old man!

Velvette yelled to back up Vox. She flinches as Alastor turns his head in her direction with a sickening snap of his neck.

Not wanting to back off, she was about to argue more when Carmila stepped in.

Carmila: Velvette! Cease this at once. Do you and the Vees have no self-preservation??

Velvette: Well- I- Vox's right and you lot know it! Great Lucifer called us all here, basically threatened us to help him fix a mess he caused, then fucks off to God knows where leaving us to practically kill ourselves for a mess, again, HE CAUSED!

The Sins and Goetia's have now transformed into their more monstrous forms at hearing the disrespect the lowly sinner said about their King.

Velvette and Vox are saved from near-permanent death by a commanding voice.

Lucifer: Kneel.

Everyone's bodies acted on their own. Their knees bled from the sudden contact on the ground.

None of them could move- try as they might. Their air became heavier, plus with the miasma, a lot of them were gasping for air. Nothing is coming in. They can't breathe. They can't-

They look up to see the King of Hell and an unknown woman. Unknown to most but the Sins very much recognize her as indicated by the widening of their eyes.

Satan: Goodie!

The woman giggles and waves cheerfully as if there wasn't a looming threat in the air.

Goodie: My, my. What big mouths you have~

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What to look forward to in Part 13:

Some talks and reprimanding.

Another round of ritual.

The situation becomes worse.

Lucifer and Goodie's solution.