#i feel like i should say something sappy here but honestly i'm not one for that so

[venomhoundfanworks]

Hazbin Hotel - Petname Headcanons

Headcanons for what terms of endearment Vox, Alastor, and Lucifer use in their relationships. I was going to do more characters, but this post got too long (AGAIN), so I just did my favs. If enough people want it, I can do a part 2? Maybe? MAYHAPS?

The other petname posts (as well as my other work) can be found on my masterlist >>HERE<<

Contents/WARNINGS: Gender neutral reader; talks about what yall like to be called during sex; Daddy/Mommy kinks; Valentino mention; Lucifer really needs therapy you guys (18+), MDNI, NSFW below the cut ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

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Vox ₊˚ ‿︵୨୧

What He Calls You

(NOTE: Huge credit to @bindeds for the whole 'Vox does sappy petnames' headcanon. You should read their post with it >here<. Its lived rent free in my head since I read it.)

Honestly? Vox is a menace when it comes to terms of endearment.

Vox loves to get creative and call you super sappy stuff. Things like sugar bear, honey kisses, love dove, cuddle cake.... I pray you can at least tolerate this because I have no doubt that Vox has sent past partners running for the hills by doing this.

These silly names tend to come in waves. Vox will have one that he likes to call you, use it for a short bit, then switch it up for a different one. So if there is one you particularly don't like, at least you never have to deal with it for more then a few days.

Vox doesn't like to talk about you in front of the cameras (he has a deep fear that your going to end up stolen). But when he does, he avoids using your actual name. Instead Vox calls you more... conventionally sappy petnames. Like dearest, or starlight.

Not embarrassed at all about calling you these things in front of millions of viewers. He loves you so much and feels so lucky to have you. In a perfect world and if this wasn't, you know, Hell, Vox would just openly brag about you on air 24/7.

While Vox always seems to have something new to call you, the one name that sticks around and actually gets used consistently is sugar. A classic 50s petname. He thinks it particularly suits you because your, well, sweet as sugar. And you make everything in his life better.

What You Call Him

Vox could not care less what you call him. I don't mean that in a 'he doesn't care' way, no, its the opposite. I mean you could call him literally whatever you want and Vox will love it. He just wants to be called something special and to know he is special to you.

I'm not kidding here. Everything is on the table. Cutesy names, sappy ones, playful nicknames... Literally whatever you want as long as its not straight up demeaning or embarrassing.

Don't call him Voxy though. Yeah, its a cute name he will admit; and it sounds bittersweet coming from your lips. But that name is just far too associated with Valentino. It brings back so many painful memories and raw resentment that Vox would rather not experience in your presence. If he has to at all.

I've always pictured Vox being that guy who never wants to hear his real name come from your mouth once you two start dating. You all know the type of guy I'm talking about. Dude will have an actual breakdown.

You two could be having a serious conversation or heated argument, but as soon as you say 'Vox' nothing else matters to him. Vox just gapes at you and is like "Since when am I VOX to you?! I'M YOUR CUDDLE BEAR." Or insert whatever name you use for him. He says it completely serious too.

NSFW Section

A little ironic considering he hates hearing his actual name come from your mouth normally; but when you two are in the bedroom, Vox wants you to say nothing but his name.

Vox loves nothing more then when he fucks you stupid on his cock or overstimulates you to where his name is the only word you know. When you start moaning his name like a prayer or chanting it as your voice cracks.

There is nothing more beautiful to him then those sounds. Vox could cum from those sounds alone; and he has many times. Times when one of you was away or you two were otherwise separated.

Vox would play back the sounds of your pleading during your last time together to himself. He had been away from you for too long. He desperately needed to hear your voice, his name from your lips. Its like a drug to him.

Vox tends to lean towards gentler, more classic names in the bedroom. He whispers how much he missed you, darling. While his lips greedily take yours again and again. He will kiss down your neck, mumbling against your skin how he cant wait to make his sweetheart feel good. Gorgeous, beautiful, and handsome also frequently leave his lips once more skin starts getting exposed.

I have always headcanoned Vox as a switch. When he veers towards that more dominant, possessive side, he will start using more sexually charged names like babe or kitten. But if you two have been together a long time or you end up tying the knot.... Now Vox just babbles about how perfect his wife or his husband is as he plows into you over and over.

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Alastor ₊˚ ‿︵୨୧

What He Calls You

Poor deer man. Quite bluntly, he has no idea what to do when he gets actual feelings for someone. I mean, yeah, he know what to do; in theory. In practice however, its a whole different story. Things are always much easier in theory then actual reality.

Perfect example of this is when you two first become an item and Alastor tries to legitimately flirt with you. Alastor lays it on just a little bit too thick and goes straight to calling you baby.

The entire hotel gets thrown for a loop. Husk chokes on his drink, Angel Dust fucking yowls, and Vaggie is cringing into the next century.

Fun fact: 'baby' first started being used as a term of endearment in the 1920s and was all the rage during that time. So Alastor probably actually used it.

Poor boomer Alastor doesn't understand what happened until he vents to Rosie about it and she laughs at him too. Rosie has to explain to Alastor that the whole 'baby' thing has taken on a much more sexual connotation during the last, you know, hundred years.

Alastor is somehow even more embarrassed about the whole faux pas upon knowing the full context then he was before.

To avoid another, ahem... incident. Alastor just straight up asks what you would like him to call you. As long as its not something too weird or sappy he will oblige.

If you tell him to call you whatever he wants, Alastor is going to be like a deer in the headlights (pun intended) due to what happened last time. Will probably just stick to your name for awhile or test things out in private first.

Alastor is partial to calling you darling, my dear, or just love. Whichever seems to make your heart flutter most.

You can always tell when Alastor is in a particularly good/playful mood because he will call you my doe (if your female) or my buck (if your male). Alastor will also use this name if he is showing you off or you've done something to make him proud of you.

What You Call Him

If you were to ask him? Alastor would tell you to simply call him by his name or just Al. Says he isnt fond of petnames even though he uses them all the time. Guy is strange.

If you do start using petnames he wont stop you. Do keep it classy however. Don't call him anything super silly, or too sexual. He now has a vendetta against the name baby so don't call him that either.

Alastor will never directly say he likes the name, but you have noticed that when you call him love or my love his smile gets a bit wider and his eyes relax a bit.

You can get away with teasing names in private. Like princess for instance. When you first called Alastor that he gave you the dirtiest look. Not in a sexual way. I mean in a 'I dare you to call me that again, brat' way.

The second time you called him princess, Alastor's ears flattened against his head and he warned you to kindly refrain from that name. However, he couldn't hide how his tail was wagging playfully.

The third time you knew exactly what you were doing as you bolted in the opposite direction right after calling him a precious princess. Alastor, wide eyed and absolutely feral, immediately dropped everything in his hands, shattering several glasses, and gave chase.

Its become a weird game between the two of you. Alastor will never admit how much he loves to see that defiant spark in your eyes.

NSFW Section

Just like any other time, Alastor simply prefers to hear his name above all else when things get steamy. Although he does have a weak spot for being called master...

Likewise, Alastor tends to call you his pet. And like any good master with their pet, Alastor's ultimate goal is your safety and comfort. That doesn't mean he wont push you to your limits or make you perform for him however. The name is more of an unspoken promise that he will never actually hurt you.

Out of all the guys, Alastor is the one you would least expect to have a thing for calling you mommy in the bedroom (regardless of your gender). This usually happens when your overstimulated and/or Alastor is deep into a servicing mode, trying to make you feel as good as possible, and pulling as many orgasms from you as he physically can.

It also happens during his ruts. Alastor will vacillate between calling you mommy or his mate. He will growl into your neck how good of a mate you are as he fucks into you. How you are all his. Then after Alastor fills you to the brim with cum he will tell you how he, 'Cant wait for Mommy to have my fawns. Lets see how much more Mommy can take, hm?'

The whole mommy kink is a secret he will take with him to oblivion however. Alastor will make sure anyone who knows of it does too.

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Lucifer ₊˚ ‿︵୨୧

What He Calls You

Sorry; but I'm on the bandwagon that Lucifer uses duck based petnames for his partner. Duck or ducky are his go to names. Period. Especially when he is excited about something or gushing over how cute you are.

Lucifer genuinely thinks your as cute as a duck. Coming from him, thats quite a compliment. If you let him, Lucifer will 100% do the cutesy baby-talk voice at you when you do something particularly endearing and his cuteness meter is overloading.

When Lucifer is in front of people and trying to act normal (as in, masking hardcore), he will instead address you by a rather curt darling or my dear.

Although it may come across like Lucifer is distancing himself from you, he isn't actively trying to be less affectionate to you at all. Crowds/people in general are just super stressful for the guy and he is trying his absolute best to look like he has his shit together.

Once he relaxes a bit, you get some liquid courage in him, or if you two are with some friends, Lucifer moves to more intimate names.

When you go to sit, Lucifer will beckon you to come closer, doll, until your practically sitting on his lap. Then he will look at you with the most adoring eyes as he asks how are you enjoying yourself, sweetheart? He really does love you more then you can imagine.

What You Call Him

Lucifer tends to like the sweetest, sappiest terms of endearment. The ones that make your chest fill with butterflies and anyone within earshot nauseous. God bless the hotel for dealing with your shit because you two are actual diabetes.

Call him teddy bear, cuddle bug, or snuggs because of how physically affectionate he is. Also just because of how wonderful Lucifer's cuddles are and how you both could spend the rest of eternity in each other's arms.

Other good options are muffin, honey bun, or cupcake. Why the food names? Because Lucifer LOVES to cook for you of course! Its not just the pancakes either, this guy actually does know how to cook. One of his favorite things is to surprise you with a night in and a completely home made three course meal. (But thats for another post!)

If you want to compete with Lucifer's whole duck thing and give him a matching bird petname, you can call him lovebird. Lucifer might return the favor and start calling you his lovebird too. Because its exactly what you are. You both really are just a pair of lovebirds.

If you don't like ANY of those, buttercup or sweetpea are also good options. Two cute flower names that tie nicely into Lucifer's whole 'garden of Eden' thing.

You could also straight up call him cutie. Its a vicious cycle with this one. Because whenever you call him that, Lucifer gets the happiest, most adorable smile on his face. So you end up wanting to call him it more...

You got lots of great options with him. But if you want something more """serious"""; sweetie, sweetheart, honey, or shortening his name to Luci will still make his heart flutter without getting too crazy.

Another fun thing you can do, is call him my King or my Liege before kissing the back of his hand. Lucifer cant help but get flustered and start giggling like an idiot.

NSFW Section

Do I even need to say it? Do I even need to say what two words turn this man into an actual puddle on the spot?

Like seriously. Those words hold so much power that you have to be super careful with how you wield it. Lucifer could be so distracted, excitedly telling you about a new project he is working on. Then you just mutter how much of a good boy he is and every muscle in Lucifer's body instantly tenses. You giggle as you see a surprised shudder run up his spine. His cock already standing at full attention.

Lucifer has a weakness for the name pretty boy as well. Caress his soft skin, leaving a trail of hot kisses, before whispering how much of a pretty boy he is; and Lucifer will reward you with the most sinful moans.

Be careful with him though; Lucifer may be the sin of pride, king of hell, and the fucking devil, but the man wears his heart on his sleeve and can easily be hurt by your words if your not careful.

Don't degrade him. This actually really hurts him and can easily send Lucifer spiraling. Before punishments, tell him he has been a bad boy, a naughty boy. Tell him he has to make up for it and prove how good he really is.

Praise on both of your ends. Lucifer constantly tells you how beautiful, gorgeous, and/or handsome you are. When you return the praise, the devil melts.

Lucifer will call you angel or my angel, because to him, your beauty rivals all of heaven itself. You also came into his life and saved him as if you were an angel sent just for him. He knows that would never happen of course; but he likes to dream.

Has a lowkey daddy kink as well but is ashamed of it since he is an actual dad. But you can easily get him riled up by playing into it and calling yourself baby or mommy. Ooohh boy will this devil then be ready to actually make you a mommy~

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FURTHER READING ₊˚ ‿︵୨୧

Cute fic by @raginglesbian2006 where Lucifer is pining after the reader then MELTS when they call him a good boy can be found >>HERE<<

Also one of the many posts that contributed to my 'Alastor has a mommy kink' brainhole can be found >>HERE<<. Its a general relationship headcanon post by @greenandsorrow but goes over NSFW stuff too

[maikelfist]

Working Title: Man With Big Dick Fucks His Precious Boy

Okay so I had the weirdest, most random ass idea for post-breakup BuckTommy and it just got more and more random the more I kept going. It's all over the place, I kind of rushed near the end, I have no idea where I was going with this. I would call this a fever dream more than I would call it a fic but it's here now so might as well throw it at you guys PS: Don't get fooled by the working title, this is more sappy than sexy

Edit: There's a more refined version of this on ao3 now and I updated it here as well

Buck's sex life went from mind-blowing, life-changing and so-so-active to Missing In Action in what felt like seconds, and unfortunately, his libido hasn't gotten the memo yet. He'd been advised to throw himself out there again multiple times now, but every single cell in his body recoils at the idea. I'm not your last, I'm your first. Yeah well, we'll see about that.

It feels like a no-brainer to start watching gay porn since that's what Buck's currently missing the most. He jerks off to a handsome guy—the hint of cleft in his chin may or may not have been the reason Buck clicked on the video—fucking into a pretty twunk, and honestly, Buck is having a good time. It’s only when tears begin to swell in his eyes after he comes with Tommy’s name on his lips that he realizes he should not do that again.

The next videos he watches pointedly feature plump bears and dainty twinks, but even then, Buck can't help but make comparisons. Can't hold a rhythm, not attentive enough, where are the reassurances?

Buck comes to a visceral, gut-wrenching realization: Every single guy he considers will have to measure up to one Thomas fucking Kinard from now on.

So.

No gay porn for Buck anymore.

He moves to het videos, and the second realization of his latest porn binge hits him a lot quicker. There is absolutely no way he will ever be able to go back to regular straight sex again. Buck is very, very bi, and even relationships with women will have to be queer from now on.

Of course, porn isn't reality, but being confronted with the exaggerated heteronormativity of it all—the idea of fulfilling a society-given role after Buck learned what things can feel like when he's allowed to be himself—makes his stomach churn.

Living in a post-Tommy world is not an easy feat.

Buck's baking bouts aren't enough to distract him. Doughs need chilling, batters need baking, and before the waiting time can make him spiral, Buck keeps going on a Goldilocks mission of trying to find just the right porn that would help him take his mind off Tommy.

Luckily, after browsing the most obscure, likely virus-infested websites the internet has to offer, Buck finds a video that instantly becomes a staple in his tabs—a comforting presence whenever he feels lonely, which these days is all the time. He doesn't even bother closing it.

As long as it took him to find the video, it’s quickly forgotten when Tommy and Buck make up.

The reunion is messy and like a balm for Buck's wounds. It is filled with tears and Tommy's ability to make difficult conversations feel easy—something Buck had desperately missed when Tommy chose to walk out of his life. It’s a skill Tommy can apparently lose when he’s petrified with fear. Buck vows to chip away at all of Tommy's worries now that Buck is aware of them. Now that Tommy lets him.

It's strange and not surprising at all how much like coming home it feels to have Tommy back. How easy it is for Buck to cook for them in his kitchen while Tommy looks for something they can watch later on Buck's laptop.

"I found this documentary about hyper-regional food," Tommy says.

Buck perks up from the herbs he's cutting. "Like Threads of God? Do you know that only three women in Sardinia know how to make that type of pasta?"

Tommy hums at that. "Sounds like we don't need to watch it."

Buck laughs and lowers his eyes to the herbs again. "No, I want to. But isn't there a new part of that car restoration series you like?"

"We can watch that later." Tommy emphasizes the last word in a way that makes another part of Buck perk up.

Early in their relationship, they found out that there are few things that can make Buck relax and fall asleep quicker than the sight of competent hands making old things look new to the rhythmic sound of metal being hammered and ground. This means Tommy has to make sure it's him that gets to tire Buck out before his favorite mechanics have a chance to. Thankfully, Tommy seems to be fine with Buck never reaching the end of any of the restoration videos he enjoys.

Tommy makes an intrigued noise of interest that breaks Buck out of his musings. "Ooor we can watch this."

Buck listens to the sounds of shuffling and smacking coming out of his laptop's speakers, confusion furrowing his brows before recognition seizes him by the throat.

"Oh my God!" The parsley Buck is holding ends up somewhere in Nirvana as he frees his hands to grab his laptop. "OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGod—" Since when is closing a laptop so fucking difficult?

Tommy lets him fumble for a moment, a teasing smirk playing at his lips. It’s infuriating how he can just calmly wait till Buck, wide-eyed and pink-cheeked, finally meets his gaze. Only then does Tommy speak, slowly and deliberately, savoring each syllable.

"Woman With Dragon Dick Fucks Her Precious Girl."

Buck is glad he wasn't cutting chili because there's no way he can stop himself from pressing his fingers into his eyes as he whines, "You don't have to say it out loud!"

"I simply appreciate the originality of the title."

God, why was Buck a firefighter when he couldn't even do anything about his face being on fucking fire?

"Look, I missed you, and I couldn't watch gay porn because they either reminded me too much of you or they weren't you, and regular straight porn was tedious, so I found this feminist porn site, and I didn't feel bad about supporting them, and please, please don't judge—"

"Evan." Tommy says his name in a way that allows no ifs and buts. "I'm not judging." Whenever Tommy's voice falls into that no-nonsense sternness, something in Buck stills. He has learned to hold his breath when Tommy speaks to him like that. It's a Pavlovian reaction that only Tommy can ignite and it sends shivers down his spine. Tommy raises his thumb to the birthmark on Buck's temple, gently brushing it as his voice softens. "I'm taking note." Buck exhales shakily and leans into the touch.

Tommy reaches for the laptop, opens it, and enters the password that Buck shared with him even before they broke up. He moves to stand behind Buck, arms wrapped around him, as he hits play again.

The titular precious girl is on all fours surrounded by luxurious wine-red pillows and candlelight, purring kittenish noises into the mattress as the woman, adorned in gold and jewels only, kisses her neck and shoulders, murmuring sweet nothings into her skin. She's fucking her strap-on in between her thighs, making sure the dildo rubs against all the right spots.

"The shape is interesting," Tommy observes. He glances at Evan, curious about what kind of reaction his comment will provoke. Maybe some more bashfulness or a sweet sigh, similar to the ones the girl is making on screen while the dildo enters her.

Instead, Evan turns to him with an excited smile on his full lips. "Yeah, right? I found this website. Wait, hold on—" Evan pauses the video, opens a new tab, and Tommy is greeted with the sight of colorful, artfully crafted fantasy dildos. Handmade, apparently.

Evan starts rambling about which ones he finds the most appealing, what media they're inspired by. Tommy has never heard him talk this much about pop culture, and no one is ever allowed to know that Evan learned about Avatar this way. Howie would get an aneurysm.

Having Evan in his life means being in a constant state of whiplash, and Tommy has learned that he wouldn't have it any other way.

Tommy keeps in mind which ones Evan pointed out and makes a mental note to check out the cock sleeves the store offers before gently nudging Evan back to the porn.

"What else do you like about the video?" Evan relaxes back into him as they keep watching. Tommy can guess what Evan might find hot about it, something that has nothing to do with pretty girls kissing, but he would like to hear it from Evan before making assumptions. He also just wants to hear Evan, period.

"I like— I like that she's sweet to her? Women in straight femdom porn are usually just mean, like men being dominated by women is automatically degrading. I don't like that."

Tommy hums in acknowledgment, enjoys the small gasp he receives as he dips his fingers into a gap in Evan's button-down shirt, soothingly playing with the trail of hair on Evan's stomach. That Evan likes sweet talk isn't new information, but hearing it is always lovely. "Keep going," Tommy encourages.

"But she's also kind of… possessive about it? She calls her 'my treasure' a couple of times. I love it when she does. It's like—it's—she—she's—"

"Cherishing her?"

Evan sighs and nods, rubbing his temple against Tommy's.

Tommy leans in, noses at the pulse point of Evan's neck as he goes in for the kill. "Claiming her?"

Evan's moan sounds like it was punched out of him, and Tommy barely has enough time to hold onto the laptop to keep it from being dragged down as Evan turns to kiss him.

Tommy braces himself, gathering more and more courage with each kiss, praying to whoever might be listening that he's not mistaken when he asks, "You want me to hold on to you? Make you mine and never let go?"

A heart-wrenching sob escapes Evan's mouth, and Tommy swallows it greedily. "God yes, please!"

Evan keeps pressing pleas against his lips, and Tommy desperately wants to give in, but there is just one small thing that needs to be done first.

"Evan, the thing you're making, can—can that wait?" The last time they allowed themselves to get distracted while cooking, Evan kept pouting afterwards over the food being 'ruined'. In an attempt to cheer him up, Tommy had said that he couldn't tell the difference which had just made things worse. He wouldn't make that mistake again. There are many mistakes he wouldn't make again.

Evan utters a dazed noise before clarity settles into his beautiful features. "Oh. Yeah. It'll just marinate."

Tommy nods and moves to turn off the stove, Evan clinging to his side. He returns his attention to Evan, fingers playing with his curls.

The stove was a short distraction, but long enough to ensure that Tommy's next words are spoken with all the gravitas they deserve.

"My treasure."

Another broken sound escapes Evan's throat as he burrows into Tommy and continues what they started.

Tommy hates breaking things, but, God, does he love repairing them. He knows he has a lot to make up for, and he will do it happily. If that means wiping away his boyfriend's tears and indulging in his trauma-induced dragon kink, so be it.

[boyfiejay]

Just One Chance

PAIRING : Nishimura Riki x gn Reader

GENRE : potential f2l, hurt, comfort, crack

Warning : break up, crying, riki overthinks

Word Count : 0.8k

Author's Note : wrote this in the library while my friends were actually studying 🥸

In your 8 years of friendship with Riki, you two have been at each other's doorstep in the middle of the night countless times. But this time it was different, it was 2 A.M and you stared at the text from Riki saying he was tired and going to bed early

Was this really worth waking him up and ruining his sleep? But it seems that your broken heart had already made the decision.

Riki wasn't expecting to wake up to the sound of his doorbell, he reached for his phone, squinting his eyes at the bright screen. 2:07 it read. Who could it be so late at night? Only one person came to his mind.

He opened the door, taking in your form. You looked guilty, but above all you looked sad, heartbroken even.

He let you in, already knowing who this was about. He watched as you took small steps towards the couch, the same one where you first told him about your now ex-boyfriend, at least he hoped it was an ex now.

He silently sat down beside you, waiting for you to speak. Riki had never pressed you to tell him anything, and you were thankful for that. He has always been good at comforting others despite what he likes to say.

"He.." you trailed off, emotions getting the best of you as tears streamed down your cheeks. Riki put his arms around you, pulling you close till your head was buried in his chest. He stroked your head, running his fingers through your hair.

"He was angry about s- something, I asked him what was wrong b- but he just started yelling at m- me." you said, sniffling and stuttering throughout the sentence.

Riki didn't say anything, letting you collect yourself. "So I left him alone. After a while he told me that he saw me talking to you and he got jealous. Said he was already having a bad day and didn't need to see me being all over you." you said, hurt swirling in your eyes as you stared into the distance.

Riki held your face in his hands, wiping the remaining tears on your face."I'm not going to say sorry for that. If that's what you were expecting." he said in a small voice, afraid to scare you if he sounded offended.

Honestly, he didn't know what to feel about this, should he feel guilty that he was the reason for a fight? But then again it wasn't his fault that your boyfriend had such low self-esteem.

"No, I don't want you to apologise. But..." you said looking in his eyes trying to find reassurance for what you were going to say next.

"But what?" he asked, his hold just a tad bit tighter. His mind raced with thoughts of what that guy might have said or done, every single one making him want to beat him up.

"He said he would break up with me if I continued talking to you." you said, looking for something anything in his eyes.

Riki looked away, he wasn't surprised he knew that sentence was coming the moment you started to date him. What surprised him was that your boyfriend had survived without saying this for almost 5 months.

"What did you say?" he said, his voice coming out choked. So this was it then? He would never get to hangout with you again just because of some guy.

Above all he regretted not telling you his feelings sooner. Did he ever have a chance?

"Of course I said no. He was being too much, so i told to go fuck himself and came here." you said, half asleep, because well Riki was extremely comfortable and you were tired.

But Riki couldn't believe his ears, of course he had some hope that you wouldn't leave him just like that. But the way you sounded so nonchalantly had him seeing red.

Here he was being sad and sappy about how he wouldn't get to be your best friend now and you were sleeping?

He lightly pushed you off him, holding your face in his hands with an exasperated expression on his face.

"You couldn't have told me this sooner. I was about to start crying, you dimwit." he said, shaking your head in his hands.

You groaned, pushing his hands away "You seriously thought I would leave you just for some guy I've known for like half a year? You have no hope in me." you said, crawling back into his warmth. Damn him for being so comfortable.

He watched with an opened mouth as you pushed your head in the crook of his neck, wrapping your arms around him. Both of you are half lying on the couch.

He stayed still, knowing you would fall asleep like that, comfortable in his arms. While he will have back pain the following day, but it was okay. As long as he could have you this close to him. As long as you give him a massage tomorrow.

Now that you were single, Riki was going to make sure you see him and no one else. He was going to make sure he tells you his feelings that he's been hiding for so long.

And he knew you would give in. That you would give him a chance. 

[pigcowboys]

Hi I hope you're having a wonderful day <3

I was wondering if you could maybe do percy jackson with a daughter of nyx where they are basically the same person personality wise and have a lot of common interests ( sorry self indulging here🤭). They basically both kin each other lmao

THANK YOU <3

pairing: ꒰percy jackson x nyx! female! reader꒱⋆·˚

summary: general hcs for percy with a nyx! s/o

warning(s): mutual pining, nonsensical bickering, mentions of injuries & kisses

a/n: HIII OMG THIS REQUEST IS SO CUTE :)) i tried my best to do what you requested!! i hope you like it!!

request are closed!

literally off the bat i can see the two of you at each other's throats all the time.

you're just too alike there's no way there's not gonna be bickering man.

"i think we should use a different design."

"who put you in charge?"

"the voices in my head, actually"

"literally what."

i imagine percy kind of being put off by you when he'd first get to camp half-blood like

who are you.

i mean it isn't like he's TRYING to be mean, you're just so annoying sometimes yk.

then i feel like one night he'd sneak out of camp to go stargazing and find you near the shore in his spot.

lowkey annoyed by your presence at first but still proceeds to gaze with you silently. you'd strike up a conversation with him and it'd actually go a lot better than he expected it to go.

okay, maybe you're not that bad.

he'd start to approach you more at camp but like not for any reason at all yk. he just enjoys talking to you, i guess.

probably would be overjoyed when he finds out you have similar interests as him.

you two probably stay up all night talking about the most random stuff.

honestly, those talks are probably the moment when he realizes he..like likes you.

you're just chilling and talking about random shit and he laughs at one of your jokes and has to take a moment because he realized that you're honestly just the best person ever.

and then from that point on he's honestly kind of a mess.

you're so cool to him for some reason?? you'd just be living life and he'd probably just be in the background observing you with big ass heart eyes.

"is there something on my face, perce?"

"huh? uh no, what?"

he knows he likes you but just doesn't know how to say it?? i mean, do YOU even like him back..??

aghhhh it's honestly so draining to him.

he's not shy. just kind of stupid when it comes to feelings.

probably tried to "woo" you somehow by buying you ocean related stuff whenever you go out together.

played it off as him just having some change.

he is willing to go bankrupt for you.

i feel like one day he just got tired of dropping hits and just decided to go for it cause like, you've known each other for a minute.

he'd meet you at that star gazing spot and literally just spill all his feelings for you.

"don't say anything but what if i told you you're an amazing person and probably the coolest person i've ever met in my life and that i'm literally head over heels for you because you're smart and funny and pretty and you're just the best?"

"what?"

and you start dating!! woo!!

HES SO SWEET!!!

once you start dating he def gets a bit more of a confidence boost.

always boasting about the fact he's dating you like everyone else doesn't already now from the way he's always clinging to you.

and if you're not into physical touch no worries!! he's completely and totally fine with it!! probably asks permission to give you hugs and hold your hand.

beach dates.

you'd be that one sappy couple who interlocking hands and walks down the beach together UGHH

he would def be the type of guy to go to you after every quest so you can patch him up. do you even know how to patch him up?? probably not! can't he just use some ambrosia?? yes.

doesn't mean he won't stop.

"percy, what the fuck happened!?"

"what do you mean?? :)"

kind of scared of your mother but would never admit it to your face.

i feel like he'd make some kind of big plan to try and kiss you but it'd ultimately fail.

he'd pull up to you with some beautiful ass flowers with a big grin on his face.

would take you to some really secluded spot that he'd decorated with a bunch of different things and homemade food!! (sally helped him.)

things would be going good till it starts to rain.

not that it's a problem for him at all but it kills the freaking mood.

"i'm so sorry.."

"for what?"

"how this turned out, it was supposed to be this big and..romantic thing."

"it's okay, we can have other dates."

"no like..i wanted us to kiss."

"..."

"..."

"who says we can't right now..?"

"oh."

he's in heaven when you finally kiss for the first time!! you're literally so amazing like wtf he got so lucky.

from that point on you two are locked in for life.

he's everywhere you are, you're everywhere he is NO MATTER WHAT.

he's so in love.

[anbaisai]

Finally had time to sit down and write, but honestly there’s not much to be said other than thank you to everyone who wrote a message on my tree! I really enjoyed reading every single message and screenshotting to save them into a folder for when I need a lil boost ww (including one from Mr. Viper himself above that got a laugh out of me, thanks Jamil really appreciate you thinking I’m cool)

Some sappiness under the cut:

I never expected to receive this much support for my silly yume/oc ship content when I began posting, and I really don’t have the words to express how grateful I am. I’ve met many wonderful people through this fandom, and also just had lots of fun in general making art. I mean it when I say I genuinely never had this much motivation and inspiration to create for any fandom (or original content) in the past. There was a long, long period in my life during which trying to find even a crumb of motivation to draw felt impossible. There was always some reason that I couldn’t - be it school/life being too busy, feeling too tired, having other stuff to do first, etc. I thought I’d never rediscover my love and passion for art, until I finally pushed myself to design my Yuu for real (instead of just thinking about it) and then everything just snowballed from there. (For context, I began playing TWST in 2020 and, despite being very much in love with it, only began drawing anything for it this year.)

I have such a massive list of ideas that I still want to draw (plus several asks that I want to answer that I just haven’t had the time to yet), so I’m certainly going to be kept busy for a while. After previously making every excuse possible for not drawing, I’ve learned that yeah, once you really love something you will squeeze time out for it no matter how hard things get, because it kills you not to. All those times when I wondered when I’d ever be able to draw as much as my favourite artists now feel like a distant relic of the past, and I have Twisted Wonderland (especially Jamil) and this community to thank for it. If anyone reading this is going through something similar, I promise it gets better - you will need to put in the effort to make it start, but you will get there.

There’s also my past experiences of being in fandoms that, well, did not welcome yume/self-shipping type content. If I so much as thought of creating any, the fear of being ridiculed would make me back away from the idea immediately. I’m glad to see that sentiment seems to be no longer the norm, but also the TWST fandom has been one of the most supportive of yume content I’ve ever seen. To everyone wanting to participate but has been hesitating, you absolutely should! My only regret is not starting sooner, seriously. In a sense I feel like I'm fulfilling a childhood dream of mine, and all of my past hesitation and anxiety just dissipated once... as cringe as it sounds - once love took over. So go pour your love and passion into that character you adore, they deserve it.

Anyways, wishing everyone a happy holidays and happy new year! Here’s to another year of enjoying TWST and creating for the things we love ❤

[wildandsmile]

27 with itoshi rin please :D honestly i can see rin filling their partner up with his cum and put a vibrator them so that his cum doesn't leak out + plus he uses the remote to tease them throughout the day <3

｡☆✼★━ Challenge ━★✼☆｡

Summary: You stumbled upon a challenge on Twitter and shared it with your boyfriend, who seemed open to the idea. However, with the upcoming party on the horizon, you suspected he might have forgotten all about it. But as it turns out, you couldn't have been more wrong.

Tw : Creep Guy, Creep Group of guys, Annoying girls and Drinking.

Kinks : F receiving, Cream-pie, unprotected sex, penetrative sex (p in v), Rough sex, vibrators, impact play and spitting

Word count : 3.3k

An: Sorry if the smut isn’t the best it’s like 4 in the morning I’ll probably redo it later

Enjoy!

As you lounged comfortably on the plush couch, the soft glow of your phone screen illuminating your face, time seemed to slip away. Your Twitter feed was a never-ending stream of mundane updates and viral memes, until, out of nowhere, a tweet appeared that changing the mood of everything.

The interesting challenges caught your attention, luring you in with their mysterious allure. You had lots of free time and not much else to do, so you couldn't help but get curious about these intriguing suggestions. Some were harmless and innocent, while others were more daring, making you want to give them a try.

As you scrolled further, your heart started pounding when you found some really explicit challenges, things that you would on see one PornHub or something. Though as you read each suggestion it felt like it was drawing you into a world of intense passion and desire.

Then, like fate had a hand in it, a certain suggestion stood out among all the online noise. It caught your eye, making you curious like a moth drawn to a light. This challenge promised a night of excitement and closeness, but it also made you feel a bit nervous. The words on the screen gave you a shiver: "You or your partner has to wear a vibrator all day or night, while the other controls it."

You thought about it more and couldn't help yourself. You went to your bedroom where Rin was already there. When you sat next to him, he looked at you with curious eyes.You gave a little smile and got closer, gently touching his cheek, and asked, "Rin, should we give this a shot?" Just then, you showed him the tweet on your phone and point to the one that caught your attention.

With a sly smile, he said, "So, if I get this right, you want one of us to wear a vibrator all day?" You nodded, and he chuckled, saying, "Okay, we'll do it, but on my terms." You asked, "What are the terms?" He then grinned wickedly and said, "First, I choose when and where you put the vibrator on. Second, if you get handsy or try to finish early, I increase the intensity. Lastly, no holding back moans, even in public."

You were about to say "yes," but then what he said registers in your head , causing you playfully hit him in the arm. You then say, "I can't touch you or myself when I'm feeling needy, and I have to talk in moanish gibberish that not far."

With that, Rin gracefully rises, positioning himself shoulder to shoulder with you. He places his hand beneath his chin, tilting his head to the right, a clear sign that he's deep in thought. Eventually, he arrives at some sort of conclusion, declaring, "Alright, I’ll let you win – just this once. So, here's the deal: when you get all needy, you can handle it yourself, or even use my body to help , but I'm strictly off-limits when it comes to helping you so no begging for me to fuck you or touch you sound far."

His face lights up with a mischievous grin, and you find yourself equally enthralled by the idea, offering a nod of agreement. The two of you settle with that, and both of you return to looking at the TV screen, immersing yourselves in the world of sappy old romance movies. It's been an absolute blast. Everything was going well, but suddenly, Rin’s loud alarm goes off. He turns over and turns it off before getting out of bed, and saying, "It's time for us to get ready."

You raise an eyebrow, confused by your boyfriend's sudden excitement. You didn't remember any important plans, so you just stayed in bed, not doing much. It was only when Rin spoke excitedly that you stopped rolling around."We need to get ready for the party tonight," he reminds you, trying to jogging your memory. "Remember the one I mentioned last week? It's like a get-together for me and the guys from Blue Lock."

You stop fidgeting and think hard. After a moment, you remember what he talked about. You look at him again and say, "I thought that was in October."

He quickly takes off the covers, picks you up, and carries you to the bathroom. He hands you your toothbrush from the matching set you got together. Then, with a teasing look, he says, "It's October, sweetheart."

You shoot him a disbelieving look, your expression clearly conveying a "no way" sentiment. Your incredulous gaze causes him to pause mid-toothbrushing, and he points over to the bathroom calendar and speaker.

Turning your attention to these, you're met with the surprising revelation that the date indeed reads October 12. You offer a nonchalant shrug, not wanting to admit that you'd completely lost track of time.

Now, as you both stand side by side, brushing your teeth together while nodding along to your shared playlist, you can't help but smile. It's a simple, endearing routine that only the two of you share. It's one of those cute, intimate moments that usually belong in movies, but somehow, it's a part of your everyday life.

Though you couldn’t bathe in the moment, for too long knowing how particular Rin can be about punctuality, you hasten your tooth-brushing, not wanting to keep him waiting. You quickly grab something comfortable to wear, fully aware that your boyfriend has a penchant for making you try on countless outfits, even when you're only looking for one.

Finally, the two of you venture out into the bustling world of stores and outlets. While strolling and casually peering into shop windows, your gaze locks onto a stunning drape collar dress in a mesmerizing champagne hue. Captivated by its beauty, you can't resist tugging on Rin's arm, impulsively leading him into the store. Without wasting a moment, you head straight to the racks, where you luckily find the dress in your size.

Hastening to the dressing room, you slip into the dress. It fits you like a glove, accentuating your curves in all the right places. It strikes the perfect balance between revealing enough to be alluring but modest enough to make you feel comfortable. Now, it's time for the tricky part – showing it off to Rin.

You have a habit of enthusiastically displaying your fashion finds to him, but he has an equally strong tendency to, well, get handsy and maybe a little too eager. Despite this, you gather your courage and exit the dressing room. With a playful twirl, you put on a show for Rin, hoping he'll appreciate your choice without, well, ripping it off you prematurely.

"So, what do you think?" you ask, a radiant smile gracing your lips, eager for Rin's response. Surprisingly, Rin remains silent for a moment, and a pang of disappointment begins to well up within you. Feeling a bit disheartened, you start to turn away, but just as you pivot, he seizes you and pulls you close. In a passionate kiss that lingers along your neck, he murmurs, "God, why are you so fuckin sexy?"

His hands start to explore your body, igniting a desire within you that's difficult to ignore. You wouldn't mind indulging in a little action, but you both know time isn't on your side. You summon the willpower to gently slap his wandering hand away and retreat back to the dressing room. However, before you disappear, you blow him a quick, teasing kiss.

Now that you've secured your evening outfit, the two of you head back home. Once you're there, you hurry to the bathroom, eager to don your chosen ensemble and craft your makeup look.

After about a 1 hour and half you finish your look and step out side where you see Rin dressed all nice in I wonderful blue suit that match him perfectly lucky your dress fits well with his outfit. Walking up to him you pull him down to you height and places a soft kiss on his lips before saying “Ready to go” giving you a quick the nodded the two of you walk out the house and making your way to the party

Once your their you look around your eyes widening as you saw the building it look more like a hotel or a well renowned businesses agency then it did a party spot . Not giving you much time to take it all in Rin comes over and opens the door for you while offering his arm, the two of you walk in and are immediately greeted by Isagi and Bachira this were about the only two people Rin keep up with after blue lock.

Waiting to give your boyfriend some time and space to catch up with his friends you head over to a little booth we’re you see a large group of girl who look be either girlfriends or sisters of the former blue lock boys. You sit yourself down and listen in on what’s they we’re talking about, it was most just the normal conversation of how hot their boyfriends were how they brothers could beat anyone. You decided not to join in knowing that someone comment might set you off completely.

Finally you spot Isagi and Bachira girlfriends the three got to know each other pretty well since your boyfriend and pretty much inseparable on the field . Getting up from your sit you make you way over to the girls who were at the bar taking a couple shots once their you say with a exited tone “Hey girls” they both turn to you and they eye immediately widened. Getting up form their sit they run over to you and give you a warm hug before saying “Damn girl you look good as fuck, surprise Rin let you out the house looking like this” You let a little chuckle before replying “Same goes to the two of you, I know it was hard to get out the house” the girls then look at each other then back at you before giving a nod.

Not long after that the three of you head back over to the bar and throw a couple shot back everything was going good you guys would hit the dance floor and not and then come back and sit down because someone feet were hurting or they were thirsty. Finally you guys had enough of the dance for a hit up a empty booth once their the three of you caught up of what’s new in each others life while spilling tea about what’s going on in the soccer world. It was then that a blonde haired and a couple of his friends came up to you guys and began hitting on you.

“You girls look lonely why don’t y’all come with us” one of the guys says he places his hand y’all table while licking lips. You just look up from your phone and roll eyes thinking that they would take the hint and leave but of course they didn’t so they take a seats beside you guys trying to start up conversation but you guys weren’t having it so you say “ Can you see get the hell away from use, we’re not interested in hanging out with you” but it’s like everything you said went in one hear and out the other as he wraps his arms your neck.

Lucky for you Rin, Isagi and Bachira had finished up their conversation and had come longing for you guys. Rin’s face when he saw some other guys that wasn’t him touching you was something to be remembered, he stormed over to you and pull the guy up from the chair. “What the hell do you think your doing with my girl” Rin said his eyes full with a murderous attempt but apparently the guy must have been a masochist cause he continued to push Rin’s buttons “I was just showing her what’s it’s like to have a real man by her side” he guy said before get the wind punched out of his lungs.

Rin started to beat the shit out of the guy until his hands had blood on them finally after Isagi and Bachira pulled him off the guy did Rin quit beat the man not wasting any more time he went over to you and grab you by the wrist pulling out side of the building. Soon enough the to of you make it to Rin’s car we’re you both sit in silence until you look around looking for something to clean the blood of with

Finding some napkins you grab Rin’s hands and start cleaning them off while giving him a could talking to. “Rin what the hell were you thinking beating that guy like that what about your soccer career” you say with a upset tone you were happy he fought but he can’t just go out beating people up. Rin the mumbles something that you can’t hearing pissing you off even more “Fine if your going be a jerk then you can wipe the blood off your own hand” you say as you throw the napkin at him.

He doesn’t say anything he just takes the napkin and begins to wipe his own hands while you seat and pout. A couple more minutes go by and Rin finally says something “I’m sorry, you were right I shouldn’t have beaten that guy that badly even though he deserved it” you look over at him before grabbing his cheek and pulling to kiss “You know that’s not why I’m mad I’m mad because you but your dreams on the line for one dick head even if you looked sexy while doing” you say as you kiss him again this time making it last longer then before.

“You know you could give me a treat for being such a god boyfriend” Rin says licking his lips you look at him and roll your eyes before saying Fine, but just a quickie we don’t want be get worried”

｡☆✼★━ Smut Time ━★✼☆｡

You laid in the back seat of the car naked while your boyfriend was on top of you fully dressed, his knee spreading your legs out and rubbing right against your wetting cunt causing you to throw back your head in frustration. But Rin doesn’t let you think before he crashes his lips into your swirling his hot tongue around yours back hard for the both of you to breathe.

You both pull away and watch as the string of saliva connecting your snaps with that Rin starts to trail hot kisses down your body not stopping until he reached you wet cunt not wanting anymore time Rin started to places kiss across you puffy lips finally using his rough clauses thumb he spread your cute cunt apart before spitting on it, using his other hand he slides his spit up and down your cunt mixing it slowly with your juices once he thought you were good and wet he began to lick long hot laps across your folds.

“Fuvk Rin right there ” you moaned out as you gripped on to his raven hair and pushed him farther into your cunt.

Yet Rin didn’t mind. He loved when gripped his hair and tried to ride his face and normally he would let you put tonight was a little different. Wasting no time Rin used his hand to bring down a hard slap to your ass causing you to grip on to his hair tighter. “Did I tell you, you could ride my face sweetheart” Rin says as his tongue teases at your hole causing you to try to close your legs which only made Rin more angry “I didn’t tell you to close your legs either” Rin says this time slapping your ass harder than before.

"M'mm sorry Rin, just please keep going, I'm so close," you squirm, trying to get any be of frustration you can, deciding to give what you want Rin grabs you by the hips and pulls you in to him closer so you can't squirm why he laps up all your juices and pushes his tongue deep into your hole causing your eyes to roll back into your head. "Rin right there, don't stop," you try to add, but your words come out as a moanisg slur.

"I'm cumming," you chant as you rock your hips into Rin's tongue, but Rin abruptly stops. causing you to look at him with a wtf face expression, to which he quickly answered "The only thing you’re allowed to cum on is my cock" Rin says as he pulls down his pants and boxers, allowing his cock to jump free. His tip was glowing red and oozing with percum, and he wasted no time in aligning his cock with your wet openings and shoving his throbbing cock within, without allowing you to adjust to his size before ramming into your sloppy, wet cunt. You began crying because you felt him within you.

“God you feel so fuckin good sweetheart, so so fuckin good” Rin growls out as as he pushes your hips up and down slowly your warm cunt tighting harder around his thick cock as his hips thrust up to meet you half way. Rin could feel his cock harden his balls tighten but the only thing he could really focus on was your gummy wall and how they felt around him.

“I can’t wait to use this cunt that was just made for me, can’t wait to fill it up with my kids, can’t wait to breed it over and over again” He muttered between clenched teeth, trying his best not cum inside you just yet. His thrust became slow and deep making sure you were feeling just as good as him hit all your shots right stops with his hard cock. His eyes narrowing slightly as his grip on your hips got tighter, pushing you faster up and down his dick as your tight walls gripped him, a mix of your cream and his cum coating his length, making a ring on the base of it.

"Fuck- sweetheart , I’m going cum in you." He groans.”Want to fill you up so good and make you have my babies.”

Rin’s eyes roll to the back of his head as you give him a nod because you were to fucked out to speak , groaning and grunting as he begins to thrust harder and deeper into you, his gloved hands pulling your hips all the way down so his cock is completely inside you as his thick, warm cum fills your womb up.

"Fuck yes," you scream as your nails dig into Rin's clothed back, bringing down both of your highs. You two kissed one another that time, and before cuddling, you collected your air. Soon after, you two get ready to go back in, but just as you're about to put your pants on, Rin stops you and inserts a cute egg vibrator inside you, causing your gummy overstim cunt to clamp down around the toy. "Rin what the hell," you yell, grabbing on to run as the vibration of the toy weakens your leg. Rin simply looks at you before responding, "We don't want any of my cum to leak out now, do we?"

And with that, you two walk back inside, clamping your legs together and trying not to make any strange noises while the girls ask you if you're okay. "Hey, what's wrong with your girlfriend Rin, she's walking funny," Isagi says, with Bachira following right behind. "Yeah, it looks like something got into her or something," Rin replies, with a devilish grin painted across his face, before walking away and playing with his new favorite toy.

Kinktober still open so get in your request in before it’s closed. Link

[explosionshark]

2024 AOTY

by me! your pal, bri-bri

originally i was going to just write up the first ten albums or so, but then i had things i wanted to say about the rest of 'em so i just kept going. that made the list really long though. so here's just the numbered list, under the cut you'll find my extended thoughts n feelings :)

What I'll Leave Behind by Void of Vision

For Your Consideration by Empress Of

Sanshi by Ripped to Shreds

Coup de Grace by Seeyouspacecowboy

Aumicide by Atrae Bilis

Children of the Moon by State Faults

Ridiculous and Full of Blood by Julie Christmas

Absolute Elsewhere by Blood Incantation

Lonely People [EP] by Love Rarely

Cutting the Throat of God by Ulcerate

Infinite Mortality by Replicant

I Got Heaven by Mannequin Pussy

Valerie by Tei Shi

Forever by Charly Bliss

You Could Do It Tonight by Couch Slut

World Fighter by Angel Sword

Hicimos Crecer un Bosque by Fin del Mundo

Ephemera [EP] by Ben Quad

Stygian Rose by Crypt Sermon

Infinite Void by With Sails Ahead

Vault of Horrors by Aborted

Revelations by Sarah Shook & the Disarmers

Steps Ascending by Stand Still

The Tower by Urban Heat

AOTY 2024

Full list here: write-ups for specific albums under th cut. Ranked somewhat arbitrarily.

1. What I'll Leave Behind by Void of Vision (metalcore) - absolute bummer that this will be the final album by these guys, but I'm grateful for the fact that I was able to see them a few times before they had to call it quits. Been describing this as like a song missing from the Saw 2 soundtrack or something that should have been playing at one of the clubs in Vampire The Masquerade: Bloodlines or something. I feel like that's accurate - alt metalcore with its nails painted black and a profound love of Nine Inch Nails. Strong lyricism drawn from real trauma, enough fun electronics to make them stand out from more generic metalcore acts, plenty of hooks and some sick breakdowns as well to keep things heavy. I hope Jack Bergin's brain never explodes again and retiring from touring helps him lead a long and healthier life. "Gamma Knife" is the highlight for me

2. For Your Consideration by Empress Of (Pop) - my favorite pop album of the year. Lorely Rodriguez is so insanely talented, this album has a pretty diverse range of sounds without becoming too inconsistent. I love that there's raunchy club bangers like "Femenine" right next to sappy love songs like "Kiss Me" and more introspective tracks like "What Type of Girl Am I?"

3. Sanshi by Ripped to Shreds (Death Metal) - very good year for death metal but I think this is my favorite DM record of the year. I've always enjoyed Andy Lee's projects and Ripped to Shreds has been my favorite of them for years but expanding to a full band has taken them to a whole nother level. Killer riffage throughout, insanely fun lead swapping between Lee and Michael Chavez. "Horrendous Corpse Resurrection" is easily one of my top songs of the year

4. Coup de Grace by Seeyouspacecowboy (Metalcore) - this was a big big SYSC year for me, in large part bc I ended up seeing them live so many times. Honestly initially I struggled with Coup de Grace because it leans harder into the dramatic, theatrical MCR/P!ATD style of emo than any of their other work, and that's not necessarily to my taste. This still makes the top 5 despite regularly skipping several songs on each listen because the rest of it is so damn good. Could not stop listening to it this fall. Safe to say it grew on me. "Chewing the Scenery" and "Subtle Whispers to Take Your Breath Away" were two of my most played tracks for the whole year

5. Aumicide by Atrae Bilis (Death Metal) - one of the most underrated death metal bands active rn imo. No sophomore slump for these guys, this record absolutely smokes from start to finish. It's heavy and it's nasty, but it still grooves. There's enough melody to make it addictive but they're still able to maintain the harshness that makes dissonant death metal compelling. "Hell Simulation" and the closing track "Excruciate Incarnate" are perfect examples of the balance they strike between those two modes

6. Children of the Moon by State Faults (post-hardcore) - 2024 was the year I discovered State Faults. Very much the experience of finding a band that is so much Your Shit that it feels insane that you're almost a decade late to the party. Children of the Moon is the best post-hardcore album of the year imo and it's not even close. These guys draw from an incredible range of influences to create some of the most affecting work in the genre - brutal and beautiful and profound. "Palo Santo" and "No Gospel" absolutely blow me away every time

7. Ridiculous and Full of Blood by Julie Christmas (post-metal? Noise? Julie Christmascore) - anyone already familiar with Julie Christmas' work does not need me to explain why she's such a powerhouse and anyone not familiar will be done a disservice by anything short of listening to her music for themself. All I can truly say about Ridiculous and Full of Blood is that it's one of the most dynamic, interesting albums of the year and I just hope to God she doesn't make us wait another 14 years for her next solo record. The band she assembled for this album is insane across the board, but in particular it was a delight to see her collaborating with Johannes Persson again eight years after the absolutely masterful collaboration with Cult of Luna. If you listen to only one song out of all the stuff I'm recommending today, let it be "The Lighthouse"

8. Absolute Elsewhere by Blood Incantation (progressive death metal) - everyone won't shut up about this album but in this case the praise is absolutely earned. Cosmic, atmospheric, brutal, spacey, heavy as hell. With a Tangerine Dream collaboration no less! Essentially comprised of two long songs, Absolute Elsewhere is a record you need to make time for, meant to be listened to in full to get the most out of it, but it's so, so worth it to take the time. A stunning, transportive piece

9. Lonely People [EP] by Love Rarely (post-hardcore/math rock) - my favorite EP of the year. A very exciting band, they fuse hooky, math rock riffs with post-hardcore intensity. Courtney Levitt's vocals are incredible - a combination of throat shredding shrieks and powerful, emotional clean singing that makes you instantly sit up and pay more attention. "Say Yes" was on repeat for me all year

10. Cutting the Throat of God by Ulcerate (death metal) - an absolutely crushing, depressive, beautiful piece of dissonant death metal. Undeniably heavy, but on this outing we see Ulcerate lean into some post-rock esque melodicism that elevates their sound even further. It's such an atmospheric album - grim and unrelenting, but strangely delicate in places. Top notch musicianship throughout, but Jaime Saint-Merat's drumming is just mind-blowing. The title track is a must-listen song for anyone who gives a shit about heavy music at all

11. Infinite Mortality by Replicant (Death Metal) - I noticed in my write-ups for the other two dissonant death metal albums on this list, I took a moment to highlight and praise the melodicism therein. That won't be happening for Infinite Mortality. That's not to say there's zero melody at all but to emphasize how much that's not the draw here. This album is an altogether darker, nastier, more menacing affair. There's a grime here, a dizzying, sinister undertone of violence. My first time listening to this record was as background music while I was reading Crypt of the Moon Spider by Nathan Ballingrud and there was a scene in that book I was reading during "Orgasm of Bereavement" where the combination of the sounds I was hearing and the words I was reading gave me a full-body sensory experience: goosebumps, a faint sense of nausea, slight dizziness. I can't think of a stronger album recommendation than that.

12. I Got Heaven by Mannequin Pussy (Rock) - ANOTHER BANGER FROM MISSY DABICE AND CO. Mannequin Pussy keep getting better and better and it seems like they're finally (deservedly) starting to blow up with this record. It's a joy to listen to - snarky, vulnerable, earnest, clever, joyful and pissed off in turns. "Loud Bark" is already iconic, easily one of the finest songs they've written in an already stacked career of certifiable bangers

13. Valerie by Tei Shi (pop) - my second favorite pop album of the year! Tei Shi's first independent release. The breadth of songs on this album is incredible - bachata inflected pop kicks the album off with the explosively catchy "QQ (QUÉDATE QUERIENDOME)" and by the middle of the record we've somehow transitioned to intimate, heart wrenchingly vulnerable meditations on a painful miscarriage with "Falling From Grace." Frustration with the major label rat race as well as evergreen pop subjects of love and heartbreak fill out the rest of the album, but no matter the topic or the style of the song, everything feels honest and confident. The Spanglish version of "Mona Lisa" is one of my favorite pop songs of the year

14. Forever by Charly Bliss (Rock/Power Pop) - talking about honest, vulnerable music! Charly Bliss made their comeback this year and it's unsurprisingly one of the best albums to come out in 2024. Forever feels like a great marriage of the sounds on their other two LPs, Guppy and Young Enough. The band is still leaning into the pop sound that clearly enthralls them but there's a welcome return for fun guitar riffs too. Also there's no album on this list that has a stronger opening than the three song run of "Tragic" to "Calling You Out" to "Back There Now"

15. You Could Do It Tonight by Couch Slut (Sludge Metal/Noise) - okay enough pop music time for something gross and gnarly and almost guaranteed to give you some kind of disease. Couch Slut have always been here to upset you - and holy shit are they good at it on this album. Each and every song on this record is a provocative, stomach-churning vignette in its own right but none moreso than "The Donkey" where Megan Osztrosits recounts a horrifyingly fucked up story of a friend's drug-fueled bout of self mutilation in Chat Pile-esque spoken word over massive, dirty sludge metal riffs. It's fucking sick. "Here's what happened when my friends and I got fired from a haunted water park" - tell me you don't want to hear how the rest of this story goes, even knowing it will end in a grotesque, bloody mess.

16. World Fighter by Angel Sword (Heavy Metal) - okay enough edgelord shit now we're back to having fun. I honestly didn't think there would be a trad metal release that would top Razor Wire by Mean Mistreater, and then I stumbled into Angel Sword this summer. It's just candy, man. Extremely catchy 80s style riffs, incredible hooks, gritty yet charming vocals. This album is dripping in neon, racing down the highway at 90 miles an hour with two topless babes in the backseat telling you how cool your studded denim jacket and fresh perm look. "Vigilantes" never gets old for me

17. Hicimos Crecer un Bosque by Fin del Mundo (shoegaze) - kinda wild that this is the only shoegaze album that made it onto my list this year but it is what it is! And what it is in this case is the killer second album by Argentinian band Fin del Mundo. If you like fuzzy guitars and ethereal vocals, this is the record on this list for you. Although labeling them a shoegaze band is accurate, it fails to account for the ways post-rock, emo, and dream pop elevate the bands sound to another level. It's a record that's soothing and engaging at the same time, well produced, clear sounding without being too polished. "Vivimos lejos" brings a charming kind of ASIWYFA-style combination of gang vocals and emo instrumentals, resulting in basically four and half perfect minutes of music

18. Ephemera [EP] by Ben Quad (post-hardcore) - many bands are doing the throwback 00s emo/metalcore thing right now, but few of them are doing it as well as Ben Quad on this EP. This is basically They're Only Chasing Safety-worship but that's fine by me. Frantic, melodic, scathing and nakedly emotional, I love the intensity of this EP. I'd kill for a full record in this style tbh, but for now I'll be happy with what we've got. It's an incredibly short 11 minute runtime so I'd really recommend just listening to the whole thing but if nothing else, don't skip "Your Face as an Effigy"

19. Stygian Rose by Crypt Sermon (Epic Heavy Metal) - epic heavy metal, I'm sure, sounds like the stupidest genre name in the world. But like, listen to Stygian Rose and you'll immediately understand there's nothing else that describes it as well. Big, heavy doomy guitars, fast drumming, crazy soloing, nimble bass riffage, powerful heavy metal vocals and lyrics about like wizards and evil kings and stuff? Lie to yourself if you want, but I know the truth. This album fucks hard. "Heavy is the Crown of Bone" and "Glimmers in the Underworld" are crushing, face-melting works of fantasy bullshit. I can't get enough of this album

20. Infinite Void by With Sails Ahead (Post-hardcore) - I discovered these guys through a collaboration with Pulses. last year and I spent most of the intervening time eagerly anticipating the release of their debut LP Infinite Void. And let me tell you, it did not disappoint. It's an incredibly confident and fun first record - firmly on the Swancore side of PHC but lacking a lot of what tends to annoy me in that subgenre (insufferable songs about the male ego). Sierra Binondo's powerful and diverse vocal range really takes these guys to another level in a genre where extremely talented musicians are a dime a dozen. Go listen to "Ryn" right now and tell me you're not at least a little bit in love now

21. Vault of Horrors by Aborted (Brutal Death Metal) - it's Aborted! It's a cheeseburger. But it's a really, really, really good cheeseburger after you've been craving one for ages. This record has two gimmicks - all the songs are based on horror movies and each has a feature from a guest vocalist. Admittedly, I find brutal/tech death to be kind of wearying after a while and this tends to affect listenability for me, which is precisely why this album has a place on my AOTY list - I don't get tired of it. It's brutal and punishing but catchy and fun to listen to. Daníel Konráðsso absolutely does not sound like a human being on this. I bet his calf muscles are insane, because the double bass on this record is frankly disgusting. "The Golgothan" has my favorite riff of the record, but there's no bad tracks, honestly

22. Revelations by Sarah Shook & the Disarmers (Alt Country) - haven't really figured out a way to talk about this band that doesn't feel at least a little bit like deadnaming singer/guitarist River Shook but they've yet to change their band name so! Admittedly, not a very country heavy year for me, but if everything I've dabbled in, Revelations is the easy standout. Continuing the band's legacy of clever, honest lyricism and rollicking country rock musicianship, Revelations feels like the best version of their sound yet. "Motherfucker" is a straightforward, righteously pissed off ode to gross, predatory men in the industry, "Backsliders" is a good old fashioned broken-hearted ode to a bad relationship, while "Jane Doe" is the easy standout shot through with emotion, clever lyricism and brilliant guitar work

23. Steps Ascending by Stand Still (Pop Punk/Melodic Hardcore) - I was a teen in the 00s so I'll always be weak to that very Long Island melodic hardcore in 2004 sound that this album is evoking so perfectly. I love fast drums, I love posi philosophical lyrics, I love those melodic, angular guitar riffs, I love a guy shouting and I love gang vocals. Those things in combination just always work on me. "We Know the Score" + "Mysticism" are the perfect 'holler along at the top of your lungs in the car' combo

24. The Tower by Urban Heat (Post-Punk) - one of my most anticipated albums of the year. When they started the album rollout with singles like "Sanitizer" and "Right Time of Night" I had a pretty good idea that the final product would have a good shot at being one of my favorite records of the year. And of course I was right. Most Post-Punk isn't quite capable of keeping my attention, but Urban Heat are so damn good at songcraft. The songs on this record are incredibly dynamic, ranging from the snotty disdain of the aforementioned "Sanitizer" to the surprising tenderness of the New Wave ballad "Seven Safe Places." It's an incredibly strong showing from a really exciting band. I've heard they're killer live, too. Maybe if I'm lucky this coming year I'll get a chance to find out for myself.

And that's it! 24 for 24

Except for these also >:)

Honorable Mentions (aka albums it killed me to leave off this list so I'm cheating by adding them here)

Club Shy [EP] by Shygirl

Prude by Drug Church

It's Inside You by Candy

Sunrise Over Rigor Mortis by Beaten to Death

Verses in Oath by Hulder

Beating the Drums of Ancestral Force by Tzompantli

Agony & Wounds by Obscene

Cure by ERRA

Songs of Blood and Mire by Spectral Wound

The Cycles of Trying to Cope by Like Moths to Flames

Razor Wire by Mean Mistreater

I'll Drown on This Earth by Cold Gawd

Heaven Let them Die [EP] by Counterparts

Dark Superstition by Gatecreeper

[skatingbi]

When Zoro is shoved out of the gallery by Sanji, his first thought is "What the fuck" and his second is "I really said that out loud".

To be fair, Zoro isn't great with words. For one, he never thinks before he speaks 90 percent of the time. He also simply never saw a chance to compliment anyone, really. Zoro is the epitome of act first, talk later. Always has been, and probably always will be until the day he dies. Until a few seconds ago.

When Zoro noticed the cook's dual toned eyes, too many thoughts surfaced at once for him to decipher all of them. He definitely thought they were beautiful, but he didn't mean to say that sappy shit out loud. Sanji's blue eye was also nearly identical to a shade that some glaciers take on in the North Blue. He vaguely remembers other pirates talking about them here and there. He's never seen them, but if he had to guess what type of blue the ice was, he would think of the color of Sanji's eye.

Now, on the other side of the gallery, Zoro leans against the door. After the reaction he got from Sanji, he's not sure where to go from here. He didn't even mean to say that out loud either. It just... came out. Most of what Zoro says does that, but looking at Sanji in that moment made his brain short circuit, his heart stutter, and his lungs hitch. He felt something he's never put a name on before, and because of that, he didn't question it until after Sanji kicked him out.

Zoro's feelings about Sanji are complicated at best. He used to not think about it, but after this, maybe he should. He runs a hand down his face and sighs. He can feel how warm his cheeks are and knows for a fact that if anyone came in, they'd notice the embarrassingly bright blush he's sporting. So he pushes himself off the door and goes to the crow's nest to meditate, train, sleep, or something that will take his mind off of this.

Meditating doesn't work. Neither does training, or sleeping, or keeping a safe distance away from Sanji. In fact, Sanji is actively avoiding him. Has been for the past few days. That wouldn't be out of character for the blond on a normal day, but it's more frequent. Sanji actively kicks the swordsman out to do the dishes himself instead of letting him dry them like he usually does. It's fucking confusing. Zoro can understand insecurity if the main problem about this whole situation is that. He's no stranger to it. The issue, though, is that Sanji's eyes are gorgeous to him, and Sanji doesn't see it. He's just trying to understand why.

A few more days pass by like that. The crew, especially Nami and Usopp, notice. Only Nami makes it known that the crew is very much aware of the awkward shift in Zoro and Sanji's dynamic. It's made especially clear when Nami corners Zoro while he's about to fall asleep on the deck.

"Alright, spill the beans." Nami demands with her hands on her hips and an eyebrow raised. Zoro only opens one eye to acknowledge the redhead in front of him, who's blocking the sun, and it makes Zoro mildly agitated.

"What do you want now, witch, I'm trying to sleep."

Nami rolls her eyes, "I know you're dense, but you're not stupid." She huffs a sigh and bends at the waist over Zoro to glare at him. "You and Sanji have been weirder than usual. Fighting is one thing, but ignoring each other for days is unusual, even for you two." Nami explains.

Zoro rolls his eyes. Sure, him and the shit cook haven't talked, but that's none of anyones business. Let alone Nami's. For all he knows, she could just blackmail him with the embarrassing ordeal of being known. He'd honestly rather not, thank you very much.

"Fuck off, Sanji's the one ignoring me. Let me sleep in peace." Zoro argues back and closes his eyes, resting his arms behind his head to hopefully fall asleep while he still can.

Nami groans in frustration. Okay, fine. If those two idiots want to ignore each other, then she'll let them. It's not like it's any of her business anyway. She just has a bet to win against Usopp, and she's not above changing the stakes to be in her favor. She just has to wait a little longer.

Some part of Nami suspects that Sanji is avoiding Zoro because of something deeper, more personal than just their usual fights. She's willing to bet money that their weird little spat is based on this. She doesn't have evidence. She just has a feeling, and usually, it's right. What's that saying again? Always trust a woman's intuition? With this knowledge in mind and with an ulterior motive, she leaves Zoro alone to have a gay crisis in peace.

What Sanji and Zoro don't know, though, is that she already knows Sanji has heterochromia, and she also doesn't give a shit. She noticed when sanji was too drunk in skypiea while dancing with the wolves, and to be honest, she's surprised no one else even noticed. This knowledge has led her to believing that Zoro said some stupid shit about it. Go figure.

Zoro goes back to trying to sleep. Behind closed eyelids, he can still see a pretty icy blue eye hidden by long blond hair. He wants to see that again. Directly after that thought, though, Zoro suddenly has an epiphany. An almost life changing realization that will most likely fuck him over in the near future. It's laughable how he's never realized it given the past few days.

Zoro likes him.

Sanji and Zoro, for lack of a better word, dance around each other for the next few days. If someone asked Sanji why didnt they just go back to how they normally did things, he couldn't answer them. He can't answer them because he knows that the real issue isn't his eyes. It's what they mean to him.

Sanji is a sentimental man. All of the things people have given him are kept one way or another. He has a drawer in his kitchen for the small trinkets or rocks Luffy finds. He still has that dial Usopp let him keep. He keeps recipe books given to him by Robin on the counter away from the sink. He even kept Nami's hairtie despite nearly snapping it the other day.

There are other things he's kept, too. Franky's things aren't really trinkets, but that doesn't mean they aren't important to him. Franky once gave him a gag gift of matching sunglasses, and he refuses to wear them. They're still tucked into one of the drawers in the dresser next to his bunk. Chopper and him share spices since they're multi use, and it means a lot to him to have his safe space also be useful for others in the crew. He loves being given things, no matter how small they may be.

When his mother died, the first thing he wanted to do was gouge out his eye. When he thinks back on it, the only reason why he couldn't is because he was scared. What small 10 year old wouldn't be? Now, although he loves his eyes deep down, he still runs away by hiding them. It's a gift that he hates, but deep down cherishes like it'll get stolen from his grasp one day.

He's aware that he processes grief by running away until it catches him on a warm, sunny day. Lately, that's exactly what it's done. Grief is hunting him, and he's the deer being shot in the leg so he's unable to run. Refusing to look into a mirror does nothing to stop it.

So, yeah, Sanji is ignoring Zoro. He knows why he's ignoring the moss ball. That doesn't mean Zoro will let him, and he's pretty sure the swordsman is going to corner him eventually. Sanji just needs to stall for time.

But that's not the only reason why he's avoiding him.

"Marimo, I swear to god, if you don't get out of my kitchen, I'm gonna shove my foot up your ass!" Sanji is not in the mood for this. Zoro knows Sanji is not in the mood for this. Will this stop Zoro from getting in the cook's business? Absolutely not.

"I'd like to see you try, curly brow, now shut the hell up and let me dry the goddamn dishes." Zoro huffs as he pushes Sanji out of the way with his hip. Sanji delivers a swift kick to his leg as retaliation.

"Fuck you I can do it myself!"

"Well fuck you because I'm gonna do it anyways!"

"Gods, why are you so insufferable!?"

Now, here they are, with Sanji being forced to let Zoro dry the dishes while he washes them. Sanji keeps a reasonable distance away with a cigarette in his mouth, exhaling smoke through his nose occasionally. Zoro tries (and fails) to not let his eyes wander to Sanji. The cook's eyebrows are scrunched, and his mouth is downturned. The cigarette hangs loosely from his lips as he silently works.

Once Zoro actually realized a few weeks ago he liked Sanji in a (probably) romantic way in some form, it was hard for him to not stare. Zoro never felt attraction to someone like that. He's definitely thought some people were handsome, but that's about as far as it went. Looking back, Zoro thinks that maybe he always thought Sanji was good looking. The swordsman couldn't help but look at all the things that made Sanji his own unique person, handsome, and especially pretty. It's not like he would say that out loud, though. He'd rather attempt to fight Mihawk again than say all that shit out loud to anyone.

Zoro's prolonged silence makes Sanji fidget in place, leaning side to side on each foot, while he washes the last dish. After that his cigarette is nothing but the filter and he snubs it out on the ashtray nearby. To combat the nervous energy, Sanji washes his hands and uses his hip to shove Zoro so he can grab the towel he uses to dry his hands. He's earned a glare by the swordsman, "Oi, the fuck is that for, cook? You wanna fight?" Zoro challenges, and Sanji would be a fool to say no.

"Bring it on, shitty swordsman!"

On the deck of the sunny and in the middle of their routine fights, another tragic incident has occurred: Sanji's hair is in his way. Not only that, but Zoro decides to take advantage of it. The blond isn't sure what Zoro gets out of wanting to see something that Sanji would rather keep hidden, but he'll be damned if he lets Zoro win.

Zoro, the conniving bastard, keeps getting into his blind spot. Or at least trying to because Sanji knows better, and he's sailed with Zoro long enough to recognize the little hints when he fights. Zoro's right foot shifts to his left, but his arm holding wado twists minutely, and it's barely noticeable, except Sanji knows he can block this with a kick.

Zoro uses the blunt edge of his sword to strike, and it lands on Sanji's left shin, raised high enough for him to take advantage of his flexibility. Sanji looks into Zoro's eyes with a challenge, and Zoro grins. Not the scary one he reserves for their enemies, though. There's a subtle crinkle on the corners of his eyes and this smile feels genuine. Were those dimples? He never noticed those before.

Huh. Thats new.

Wait. Why is Zoro looking at him like that? Like he's exciting and interesting? That's the only time Zoro smiles like that: when something is worthy to devote his full attention to. It does something to Sanji. It's the same feeling he had when Zoro told him his eyes were beautiful. Sanji's footing falters, and he nearly stumbles gracelessly to land on two feet. Zoro huffs out a sound suspiciously like a laugh and takes a step closer, sheathing his sword in the process.

Sanji takes a step back, but Zoro is zeroed in on a mission he's determined to complete. He slowly walks forward until their faces are inches away, and he raises his hand slowly.

The blond holds his breath, not moving and looking right at Zoro. Like tunnel vision only on the hawklike golden eyes before him. That feeling is back, too, and it's stronger with how close they are suddenly. Sanji wonders if the rest of the crew are out on the deck as well, but the only thing he can hear is Zoro's labored breathing from their fight and the way the wind makes his earrings hit together. A soft melody of chimes and ocean waves.

He needs to get his shit together.

"Get the fuck out of my face, Moss." Sanji orders through gritted teeth. He could back away, kick the swordsman like he usually does, but his feet feel like theyre nailed to the floor. Zoro doesnt move. Neither does he.

Well, his legs dont move. His hand does. Zoro's scarred knuckles show a gentleness that almost makes Sanji shiver. A tall, muscular, scarred swordsman capable of displaying softness similar to somebody holding priceless art made of glass. That's how Zoro brushes his hair away from the cook's face oh so slowly, dragging it out and tempting Sanji to either kick the shit out of the man or do something he might regret. He almost wants to lean into the touch and relish in it. He's never felt gentleness like this before, and it terrifies him deep down where the subject of his trauma lies.

Zoro takes in Sanji. His skin is somehow still pale despite the days in the harsh sun, the only evidence being the freckles decorating his hooked nose, cheeks, and part of his forehead. What Zoro cares about the most, though, is his eyes. Finally, at the risk of displaying a side of him he never thought he had, he can take in the pretty brown and blue eyes that he's thought of for the past few weeks. He doesn't miss the uncertainty the cook displays through the confused arch in his dark curly brows and parted lips.

There's a lot of silence, which is uncharacteristic of them. They've never gone so long without talking before unless one of them was in a coma. Sanji's just about to escape via insults and physical violence until-

"Huh, your eye is kinda like those glaciers in the North Blue." Zoro mumbles, a quiet baritone that vibrates in Sanji's chest despite the only point of contact being the back of a calloused hand on his cheek. Suddenly he feels lightheaded and warmth on his face, spreading to his ears to make them uncomfortably hot.

Sanji's face is somehow ever prettier when he's blushing, and that shocks Zoro out of his thoughts enough to pull away and attempt to make a beeline for the crow's nest. Sanji stares for one, two, three seconds, and then delivers a swift kick to the back of Zoro's knees as soon as he turns around.

"You...you fucking dumbass swordsman! You fucking pervert! Shut the fuck up or I'm gonna kick your fucking ass into the ocean!"

"Hah?! What the hell, shit cook!?"

Now what the actual fuck. Thats twice, fucking twice now that something Zoro said or did made Sanji a fucking inconsolable mess in the weirdest most cliche teenage romcom novel kind of way. What the fuck. How was this happening? Why is he so flustered, and why is it because of that brute?

Sanji always thought he was straight. Women are pretty. They're gorgeous, empathetic (most of the time), graceful, with pretty skin and soft curves. He always appreciated that in women, and he most likely will until the day he dies. Zoro isn't any of those things. He's emotionally intelligent, sure, but you couldn't get the dumbass to take his own advice even if you held him at knife point. He's not soft, he's rough around the edges, with a stern expression even in his sleep. His smile is almost always weird as fuck (except for the one he gave him recently) too. The swordsman only cares about swords and alcohol, but you could probably add rice balls to that list too. Zoro is the epitome of sharp and rugged.

In conclusion, the only similarity between Zoro and women is that Zoro has big tits somehow. No, he is definitely not focusing on that now while making dinner.

The more Sanji thinks about Zoro, though, the more he thinks back to that fucking look. When Zoro brushed his hair away from his face and admired him. He fucking admired him for gods sake. Either Sanji is high as fuck or he's having a nightmare because nobody has ever looked at him with that kind of raw emotion before, not even women he flirted with.

Okay, so maybe there's more to him than meets the eye. That doesn't mean he likes the idiot. Maybe he just needs to learn to take a compliment.

As he thinks about this, he sets the kitchen table and portions out the penne alla vodka for all of the crew members. There's a bottle of sake for Zoro, and because he's feeling... a lot, Sanji allows himself a glass of wine today. As he's deciding between a red or white wine, Luffy barges into the kitchen.

"Sanji! Is food done?!" Luffy asks, practically bouncing towards Sanji excitedly. The captain's loud voice startles Sanji out of his thoughts and he jumps slightly. He quickly saves face to look at Luffy with exasperation.

"Yes, food's done. Go get the rest of the crew- hey, don't touch that!" Sanji says while swatting away Luffy's stretched arm from Nami's bread, "That's for Nami! I gave you enough already. Go get everyone else before you decide to terrorize the place." He demands to a laughing captain whos already out the door halfway through Sanji's reprimand.

Seconds later, the crew files in. Everyone sits and begins to eat. Chatter between them fills the room, and Sanji preens at the compliments for tonight's dinner.

Everything is normal for a while, and soon everyone finishes their food. Luffy only tried to steal Zoro's food a couple of times and only succeeded once, only because the moss ball let him.

Coming much too soon is dish washing. With Zoro. Sanji's conflicted feelings regarding the man have been making him avoid the target of his confusion the days following "The Incident", as Sanji refers to it, and he's not keen on experiencing whatever the fuck is going on between them again. Only because he doesn't know if he can hold himself together if Zoro looks at him like that once more.

It's silent for a few minutes. The repetitive motions soothe him, and Sanji lets his mind wander to mundane thoughts. As he chews on the filter of an unlit cigarette, he thinks of some tasks he needs to do this week. Inventory should be done tomorrow. Ask Nami how long until the next island, and maybe he should-

Zoro clears his throat, and for a moment, he thinks it was just Zoro being Zoro. He's probably trying to annoy him. Yeah, fat chance this time. Anyways, maybe-

"Cook," and Zoro looks at him, putting the plate he just dried down and placing his hands on the counter, "Why're you hiding?" He asks, and Sanji doesn't look at him. Zoro's eyebrows angle slightly in confusion.

Zoro left that question open ended on purpose. He knows Sanji well, or at least he likes to think he does, so asking directly would just make the cook confrontational. Hell, even a vague question would, too.

"What the hell are you talking about, marimo?" Sanji scoffs. Yeah, just as Zoro figured.

"You know what, and I ain't gonna spell it out for you," Zoro leans forward, looking at Sanji even though he tries tilting his head down and away from zoro's perceptive gaze, "Cmon, curls, I need to know if I overstepped. You may be a pain in my ass but I'd never hurt you." Zoro explains, and what the fuck.

Sanji has been asking himself that a lot lately. Yet he doesn't know how to reply to Zoro. All he knows is "You...Dumbass, you make me feel. You make me feel," He whispers like they're the only ones on the ship, "And I dont like it." He finishes.

He has no clue if it's the truth. Hell, earlier today, he was having a sexuality crisis over the man before him. Neither does Zoro. They both look at each other until Zoro looks away with resignation. "Okay." He whispers back.

Sanji learns quickly that he doesn't like that look on Zoro's face.

[thenyoumightaswellwrestleangels]

I need an altar to pray to (I need a hand on my shoulder)

But isn't bite also touch? - series masterlist here

pairing: simon riley x reader (gender neutral)

length: 1.1k

genre: hurt/comfort, fluff

warnings: definitely some religious undertones in this one but it's all about Simon's general guilt and issues, reader's also kinda sad and sappy in the same way

a/n: I don't know what this is but you can have it for the low low price of free

Simon is tentative at the beginning of your relationship - unsure. He never feels like he really knows where to put his hands or which words to use when he's around you. And he envies you… almost. Sometimes. He thinks he should envy you, mostly. You, with your unstained hands and your perfect heart. You, who is so much better than him, so much more human than him.

But he can't quite find it in him to be truly jealous of you, because you seem to be stumbling through this just as much as him. You're hesitant - unsure, and Simon's convinced he knows why. He's so sure it's just because of him, because of his violence and his hardened walls and the furrow of his brows. He wishes, not for the first time that he just had a better grip on it, that he could just put it away when you come around. But he can't. His hands are just stained and he can't scrub them clean, not ever. He can't even pretend.

And when you come along, this sweet, lovely thing, and you're so gentle with him; being around you makes Simon feel like he's holding a flower in his palms, and his hands shake as he worries about bruising the delicate petals with his fingers. But you don't seem to mind, flitting around his apartment when you're invited over and smiling at him in a way that makes Simon want to fall to his knees and ask for forgiveness. It's funny, he thinks. He'd never been religious until he met you.

Simon confesses to Soap, eventually, that he thinks you're just too good for him and the laugh Soap lets out is enough to make Simon feel like he's stumbling again. Soap assures him that he's wrong, that he doesn't need to worry about hurting you - he's met you enough times to know. Simon's so unwilling to believe him, but he often tries to remind himself that his teammate is a lot better at understanding people than he is. And Soap says he's sure there's more to you, says he can see something large and sad and looming in your eyes and travelling up the rigid line of your spine. Simon can't see how he's right about that. He can't see something like you existing near something like him. You're too different - too good. And goodness exists as purity, as far as Simon is concerned.

It's the first night you stay over at Simon's apartment that he realizes how wrong he's been. You'd come over for the evening and, curled up next to him on the couch, it probably shouldn't have been surprising when you fell asleep, head resting gently on Simon's shoulder as he tentatively curled an arm around you, soothing you in your sleep.

And when you stir awake just as the credits begin to roll of whatever movie had been on, Simon looks down at you, taking in the blissful moment of you, sleepy and relaxed, face pressed against his chest and hands curling his shirt into your fists. This is what devotion feels like, he thinks. This is an altar I could pray to.

But then you wake up enough to realize how you'd fallen asleep and the way you shoot up into a sitting position and away from him has Simon's heart plummeting from his chest. He opens his mouth to apologize, lifts a hand as if to brush his touch from your shoulders, but you beat him to it.

"I'm so sorry, Simon - I didn't mean to fall asleep on you like that, honestly -" and the apologies keep tumbling from your lips - you keep asking forgiveness for falling asleep on Simon of all places.

And Simon's never been asked for forgiveness before. He's always been the one begging. So when you sit there babbling, staring at his shoulder like you'd hurt him, like the weight of you would be too much for him to bear, it feels unnatural and abnormal to use his raised hand to smooth his palm over your hair, shushing you gently and pulling you to him again.

That is wrong, he thinks. It's me. I'm the one who's too heavy to be held. I'm the one weighed down by blood and sins and tragedy.

But the way you look at him, he sees his own reflection in you - he sees his same fears in you. Briefly, he wonders who did this to you, and his jaw clenches in anger. But you're looking up at him like he's holy, your bottom lip trembling and your eyes wide and vulnerable. He worries, quietly and somewhere far in the back of his mind, that this could be addicting to him. Oh well.

"Simon?" You ask imploringly, like you're just asking for him. He whispers your own name back and for the first time, Simon thinks that maybe goodness can coexist with… well, with whatever he is. With whatever you, apparently, also are.

"Would you like to… stay here tonight?" he asks quietly, like he's coaxing a nervous animal. It feels odd to him, new and different, to be the one comforting - to be the one soothing. There's a power in his hands that calms you with gentle touches, a power that makes him feel almost lightheaded as he considers the trust you're giving him. "It's late and you're tired. I'd hate for anything to happen to you on your way home." And I need you here, he thinks. I need you here to make me worth something.

Your eyes go big at Simon's question and your lips part in that way that makes him want to grab you and kiss you (which, really, is something he's been trying desperately not to think about). He settles for a kiss on the forehead instead, light and gentle in a way he didn't know he could be.

That's all the convincing you need, apparently, as you lean forward to plant your lips on his. Simon finds suddenly that there's a gentleness between the two of you, a softness that scares him - makes him freeze up. This isn't for me, he thinks. This isn't something I'm supposed to be a part of.But you pull away from him just enough to rest your forehead against his and take his hands gently - gently in your own, your thumbs rubbing delicate circles across his knuckles. And Simon? Well, Simon thinks about religion again.

[daisuke-therealest]

opinion of your crew mates?

ooc: (oc accounts will be under cut)

Good question!! Super long post btw-

curly: he's the best!! well, not the best in general but the best captain (i assume at least)!!! He's always super like, motivational and kind to us all and its honestly really helpful when you're having a bad day!! And I like his accent, no idea where its from, somewhere British but dunno which- Oh and I like teaching him the "gen z lingo" even if he doesn't really get it, like that time if he asked me if anya thinks I'm sigma- (mod: true story)

swansea: okay so, swansea is super strict and stuff but, dude, he's like the BEST teacher ever!! i feel like I've learnt more from him then i have in any random tutor session, even if i still mess up a lot.. Sometimes it's a little awkward, if he's angry at me or whatever but he never lets me actually stay upset over anything!! he secretly cares a lot, i know it!

anya: ANYA!!!! she's like, my bestest friend, im not even talking just on the tulpar, like out of all the people I've known ever she's the one i feel the most, uh, normal with? like myself? eh, dunno how to word it but she's so awesome!!! she still tells me off when i do something stupid and get myself hurt, but it usually ends in us joking and laughing together :D And she loves seeing my drawings!! You know, she actually has a few of them put up in the medical room!!! (⁠ ⁠/⁠^⁠ω⁠^⁠)⁠/⁠♪⁠♪

jimmy: Jimmy's kindaaaa confusing? he's quite quiet, and I know cap gets along with him quite well but he doesn't really talk a lot to anyone besides him.. I don't think he's that bad tho! I mean, if he talked more and we got along then im sure I'd be able to be his friend!! Some people are just a little shy!!

Oc accounts:

bailey @baileythebean : BAILEY!!!! He's so so so so so amazingggg and awesome (⁠ʃ⁠ƪ⁠＾⁠3⁠＾⁠）He's my boyfriend!!! Though im not quite sure we should let cap find out.. im pretty sure thats like, against policy- eh it'll be fine!!! He's so amazing, and sweet too!! i love his shark plushy, razor, and he's like SO adorable and every time I see him its like, okay might get a little sappy, but its like i fall in love all over again ⁄⁠(⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠•⁠⁄⁠-⁠⁄⁠•⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠)⁠⁄!!!! Definitely my favourite crew member hehe!!

mac @tulparsbotanist : Cap's kid!!! They're so fun, and I love the memes they send me! They're another one of the people im closest to up here, and im glad!!! I love hanging out in the greenhouse with them, all the plants are so fun to look at, I tried to grow a daisy for them but turns out im not the best at picking out seeds because, dude, I don't think I grew a daisy...... (mod: i have a plant at my mum's house to act this out later and I can't wait)

peyton @the-starry-peyton : She's quite quiet, but in a less ominous way than Jimmy, I know she LOVES like, astrology is it? stars and shit? which makes sense seeing as her job is to literally collect information and study the stars and planets we pass- I know shes close with Lottie (mod: next one) our janitor, who's even quieter- hey there are a lot of quiet people on this ship, or am I just too loud?-

lottie @miss-ainsworth-speaking : our janitor!!!! she's super duper quiet, i dunno much about her, but I know she's been working here for like 2 years? she doesn't say much, but i always see her whispering with Peyton in the halls, or occasionally talking with anya, so I think they're a little close too!!! she reminds me of anya actually, well before i got to know her, they're both a little secretive and quiet..

RADIO!! 📻: sorry I've not actually tagged them, they're an anon but like, they're on the ship! they just stay in their office thingy all the time, we talk over the speakers on the wall!!! i aaaaaaallways say this, but they make me think of Radio from Radio Silence, which is SUPER COOL!!! and i love talking over the speakers, it makes me think of those spy movies where they gotta be all secretive and stuff-

donella : I CAN'T REMEMBER HER TAG D: but anyways- donella!!! they're so cool, and super good at drawing! theres this little clown drawing she did that's SUPER CUTE and this girl from an anime, precure something, i dunno but it was so cool!! and they're so nice, the stuff they say honestly makes my day sometimes and I don't think they even know it!!

Ooc: please lmk if I've missed anyone who's supposed to be like, in this universe, I know there's at least one person but i genuinely cannot remember.. i know they're Bailey's friend and that's about it :<

[sophistired18]

Kryk ficlet about something something nail clippings, romance, dragons, and estranged family. Pt. 1/2(?)

Let me cut your nails.

"I wanna meet your sister one day." Yaku says offhandedly as he clips Kuroo's nails on their sofa.

"What??" Kuroo jolts, moving his hand suddenly.

"Hey stop moving!" Yaku grumbles as he yanks Kuroo's hand back.

"Why did you ask that??" Kuroo asks with a mix of confusion and shock.

Yaku pauses from Kuroo's nails and lets out a sigh like it's so obvious. It's always so obvious to Yaku.

"Well, isn't it kinda like a formal standard to get to know your partner's entire family before marriage or something?" Yaku says. Like it was obvious. As if it was obvious that he was reflecting on marriage and a future with Kuroo while doing something as mundane as clipping his boyfriend's fingernails. It was obviously, obvious.

Kuroo inhales. "Yakkun. Morisuke. What the actual fuck."

"What??!" Yaku lets out defensively. Because for some reason Kuroo is the unobvious one here. "Am I wrong though?" Yaku says like he's right. He is right.

Kuroo exhales. "No, you're not wrong." Kuroo grins in a stupidly sappy way. "You're just, so unromantic."

"Excuse me? Is doing my boyfriend's manicure because he needs one, badly I might add, not the most romantic deed ever?" Yaku huffs, but his smile grows wider. "Did I need to slay a dragon to prove worthy of your love and ask for your hand, your majesty?"

"And you say I'm the drama queen." Kuroo rolls his eyes. "And honestly, you're probably one of the only people I know that could kill a dragon, so maybe yeah, that'd be very romantic of you. That'd be really hot to see now that I think about it."

"Oh so I guess I'll just find a dragon then." Yaku remarks sarcastically. "But besides that, you're avoiding my question."

"Which one? The hot dragon slaying one or the manly manicure one?" Kuroo replies with a stupid question with an equally stupid grin.

"Neither, you dumbass." Yaku gripes, before jabbing Kuroo in the side of his torso. "I'm serious. I wanna get to know your family."

"You have met my-" Kuroo starts.

"ALL of your family! Besides Kenma doesn't count." Kuroo just gives him a look. "Okay, you're right, Kenma counts, but still! You know what I mean!" Yaku finishes.

"I know.. it's just, well, it's my sister, Mori." Kuroo groans.

"Look, I know you guys aren't close, but that doesn't mean I can't meet her! I want to know this part of your life." Yaku explains. "You've met all of my family, and they love you. Don't I deserve to get to meet yours too? I'm not asking for her approval or to love me, but.. I just think it'd be nice, you know?"

"Yes, you're right." Kuroo admits. "It's just that, she wasn't really a part of my life, Yakkun. I barely know a thing about her besides the Christmas photos my mom used to send. I mean you already know how I feel about my mom, and she is well, my mom. On the otherhand, my sister?? We're like practically strangers." Kuroo huffs.

"You guys don't have to stay that way." Yaku adds.

"Mori, I can literally count on my two hands how many family dinners I've had. I can count on one hand how many family dinners I've had with her attending them." Kuroo spits.

"And I still mean what I said." Yaku spits back. "You're a grown ass man now, and she's a grown ass woman! I'm pretty sure it's not impossible for the two of you to talk to each other! Besides! For someone who's managed to connect with volleyball maniacs from all over the world that you've barely met before, I'm sure connecting with your sister is absolutely doable."

This sucks. This sucks because Kuroo knows Yaku has a point. And Kuroo knows he should stop fighting on this because it's true. He does want Yaku to meet his family. He just never really felt like he ever received any kind of approval from his sister. And for some reason, he's afraid that Yaku won't get that approval because of him. And that's not fair to Yaku. But he's also not being fair to Yaku either.

Kuroo huffs. "I'll give her a call and see when she's available."

Yaku's lips form a wide smile. "Thank you, Tetsu." Yaku sets down the nail clipper and crawls onto Kuroo's lap. "Y'know, if you weren't being such an ass about this, I might be tempted to kiss you."

"But I'm an ass about everything and you still kiss me regardless." Kuroo smirks.

"Only to shut you up, jerk."

"Then shut me up. Or I could keep goi-"

Yaku shuts him up, and Kuroo can't help but think that it's the most romantic thing.

[writtenbymisunderstoodnerds]

I never wanted this, but maybe it's not such a bad thing part 3 (Preath x Reader)

It's been a long couple of weeks, but I finally finished part 3! This is not edited so mind any mistakes. I'm not sure if I'll do another part yet, let me know what you think. There's a bit of a time jump at the end. I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Smut

Part one, Part two

Words: 6.1K

As Tobin went to lie down next to Christen, I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her down in the middle and peppering her cheek with kisses. Tobin giggled, pecking my lips, "This isn't our normal order."

"Gotta spice things up occasionally. Do you want to come surfing with me tomorrow Tobes? I have a spare board and wetsuit, we just have to stop by my house. Maybe the three of us could get brunch after?"

Christen nudged Tobin when she took a while to answer. I appreciated what she was doing, but tonight was a big step already. I didn't want her to feel pressured. "You know what, I would love that. You can't judge how well I do though, it's been a while since I've been."

"Can I come watch?"

"You wanna watch us with our wet suits down Chris? I know Tobin enjoyed it once upon a time."

Tobin went red, hiding her face against Christens shoulder. Christen laughed, patting Tobin's shoulder, "You know what, I don't even blame her. There's no denying you have great abs."

"It's for the ladies, two in particular. You might know them, dark haired, insanely beautiful. Ring a bell?"

Tobin finally looked at me again, smirk growing, "Oh you mean those marine buddies of yours we met the other day?"

"Exactly." I kissed them both, soft and slow, "You two are the most beautiful people I've ever met. And I know people just say that, I know there are subjectively more attractive people out there, but to me, there's no competition, no one compares to you guys."

Tobin kissed me, filled with the same passion as the first time, "You're not so bad yourself."

Christens eyebrows furrowed,  "Agreed. What's gotten into you? I'm not complaining, I've just never seen you so sappy."

"I'm just happy. I've been in a lot of relationships in my time, some great, some not, but I've never felt this way before. We're soulmates, I know it's kinda the whole concept behind it, I just don't believe that's the only thing that influences this. You know I was terrified coming into this, that I would only feel the soulmate connection, nothing more. So yeah, I'm happy that's not the case, because you two are amazing. Sorry for being sappy, I'm just trying to be more honest. It's not always easy for me, I want us to last though so I'm trying." 

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with you being sappy Y/n/n. It's just different so I got a bit worried maybe something was wrong. We know it's hard for you to talk about feelings, but we're always here for you. Even if it's not always good feelings, you can always come to us, even if it's just one of us. We will never judge you or make you feel like you can't talk about it."

I fought back the tears, in all my relationships no one had ever cared about me as much as they did, I had never felt like I could open up as I did with them. I mean what I had already told them more than I had with anyone, Ali and Ash included, "Thank you. It works both way, anything you guys need, I'm here for you."

The movie had just finished, I knew it was late, but looking at my phone confirmed it. I kissed them both before reluctantly sitting up on the side of the bed. "It's getting late, I should head back to my room." 

A hand on my arm stopped me, turning around I found Tobin looking up at me with a small, unsure smile, "You could stay?"

"Are you sure? You don't have to push yourself Tobin. We've already made a lot of progress today. I don't want you to move too quickly and be uncomfortable."

"I know it's quick, but honestly tonight has been amazing and I don't want you to go. We would love if you stayed if you maybe wanted to."

"I um, I don't want to wake you guys up in the middle of the night with my nig-"

Christen came back from the bathroom, kissing me before I could finish, "We don't care about that Y/n, if you have a nightmare then we'll be here to help you through it. This is part of being with you and we're okay with that."

"Okay, let me go brush my teeth and get changed. I'll be back in a minute."

It took me a long time to fall asleep, the worry of having a nightmare and waking them up running through my mind. Despite what they said, I didn't want want them to deal with it on the first night we stayed together. It was still embarrassing that after a year, I still had nightmares. 

To my complete surprise, I didn't have a nightmare. I had had one every night since camp started which was typical when staying in an unfamiliar place, but with them I didn't. It wasn't the longest sleep, but I had slept the best I had in a long time. Christen and Tobin were still asleep when I woke up so I kissed their cheeks and slipped out of bed to get coffee from down the street. Apparently everyone wanted coffee this morning so it had taken longer then anticipated. When I got back Tobin was the only one awake, she looked sad until she actually looked up at me. I guess it had looked like I had just left them. I gave her a long, slow kiss before handing her the coffee. 

"Good morning beautiful. I'm sorry I should have messaged you, the line was longer than I anticipated."

"Good morning baby, it's okay, I'm just glad you came back."

"There's no where else I'd rather be. We're going surfing remember."

Tobin pulled me closer so I was straddling her waist, "I admit I was scared you had just left us."

"Never. I promise if I was ever going and not coming back I will let you know. Do you want me to let you know even if I'm just popping out for coffee?"

She avoided my eyes, cheeks turning red, "Maybe, just for a little while at least. I'm sorry, I ju-"

I cupped Tobin's cheek, kissing her forehead, nose, cheeks and lips, "Don't apologise Tobin, if it makes you more comfortable then I'm 100% okay with it. All it takes is 2 seconds to send a text." 

Christen rolled over, sleepy smirk in place, "What's going on here?"

I brushed a piece of hair out of Tobin's face, before leaning down and pecking Christens lips, "Just some morning reassurance. I got you coffee."

---

Sloane ran up to me, cuddling into me as I picked her up. It had been a while since we had proper cuddles. At home we always end the night with cuddles before she went to bed. It was a routine I've missed. Ashlyn and Ali hugged me as well, before Ashlyn spoke up, "Hey Y/n/n, do you wanna get lunch with us today? It's been a while since we hung out. We miss you."

Guilt hit me instantly. I hadn't really seen them much recently with all my time going to Tobin and Christen. I also felt bad because they didn't know about us yet. Normally, I told Ash everything, but I had been so caught up in the newness of my relationship, I hadn't told them. Tobin, Christen and I had lunch plans, I couldn't say no to Ash though, I guess I had some making up to do, "I would love to."

"Awesome, meet you here in an hour."

I went straight to Christen and Tobin's room, nerves starting to rise as I waited for them to answer. I didn't know how they would react to me cancelling last minute. Christen answered with a wide smile,  "We really need to get you a key."

"Uh yeah."

Tobin eyed me suspiciously, "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry."

"What for? What happened?"

"Um I need to cancel lunch. I'm sorry. Of course I wanted to have lunch with you, but then Ash asked me to have lunch with them because they miss me and I haven't actually spent any time with them lately and I actually really miss them and I feel like a bad sister and a bad girlfri-"

The rambling died as Christens lips connected with mine, "Y/n, take a breath. It's okay, we understand. Ash is your sister, you need to spend time with her. We can hang out after."

"Are you sure?"

Tobin was the one this time to take my hand and kiss me, "Yes, go have fun with your family. We expect to see you tonight though."

I pulled them down on the bed with me, both of them cuddling into my sides, "Wouldn't miss it for the world. I've got just under an hour until I meet them so we have some cuddle time."

Tobin cupped my cheek, lips gliding across mine, filled with passion and want. Her tongue ran across my bottom lip, slipping in as my lips parted. We fought for dominance with me quickly winning. Tobin pulled me on top of her, hand slipping under my shirt, resting on my lower back. After a few minutes of making out, I remembered Christen was there and slowly pulled away, breathing heavy. 

"Sorry Chris."

Christen just smiled, guiding me over to her instead, "Don't apologise, I don't mind a good show every now and then. Can I get in on the action though?"

I hovered just above her, lips brushing hers, "I suppose that could be acceptable."

I lost track of how long we were making out, but when hands started wandering, I reluctantly pulled away, "We need to stop because I need to leave soon and if we keep going I don't think I'll be able to stop."

Christen groaned as I settled between them again, "I hate that you're right."

Even though I was missing out on time with Christen and Tobin, I was glad that I agreed to lunch. It hadn't hit me how much I missed them until I was sitting with them, colouring a picture with Sloane as I talked with Ali and Ashlyn. We made it maybe half an hour before Ashlyn asked the question I was fully expecting, "So what's going on with you lately? You've been absent lately, is everything okay?"

"Uh yeah, honestly everything is amazing. I need to tell you something, I didn't mean to hide it from you, I just got distracted I guess. Christen, Tobin and I are together."

Ali looked confused, "Wait, as in girlfriends? I thought you weren't interested in the whole soulmate thing?"

"I'm not, but we talked that day in the elevator about getting to know each other before I shut it down completely. The more I got to know them, the more I fell for them. I've never felt this way before. I haven't had a nightmare in almost two weeks since I've been staying with them. I get so giddy when I'm around them, like I never want to leave."

"That's amazing Y/n. We're so happy for you."

"You're not mad I didn't tell you?"

Ash hugged me tightly, kissing my cheek, "Of course not, it's new, exciting, you got sucked in. I don't know if you remember, but I was the same way with Ali. I'm really glad you're happy Y/n, you deserve it. Even if it is with the soul mates you never wanted."

"Yeah well, they're not so bad after all. Tobin still has some worries that I'll change my mind, but she's trying and I'm doing my best to reassure her. I hate it that she doubts me, but she's worth it. Christen is pretty much what you see is what you get, but there's a side of Tobin that no one else sees. The soft, loving, shy, somewhat insecure side. I love that side of her and I want to be privy to it for as long as she'll let me."

We spent a few hours hanging out, eating and playing at the park before the kids started getting grumpy so we made our way back to the hotel. I went back to Christens and Tobin's room where we spent the rest of the night watching movies and cuddling.  

---

Camp had finally come to an end, meaning by the end of the day, all three of us would be in a different part of the country until the next camp. It was only just over a month, but I already knew I was going to miss them. I hugged them tightly, trying to keep my tears away. It wasn't working though, "I'm going to miss you."

Christen sniffed, hiding her face further against my chest, "I wish we could stay together."

I held her tightly, hands running along her back as she cried. My own tears slowly running down my cheeks. Over the last few weeks, I had gotten used to being around them, I loved being with them. The last thing I wanted was to be away from them. I know there was facetime and it was only going to be a month, but it wasn't the same as falling asleep next to them, cuddling with them, being around them. There was also a slight fear of something changing. We had only been together for a few weeks, what if the distance so early on changed something, affected our relationship. I tried my best to push that thought away, instead focusing on making the most of the time with my girls. I reached out pulling Tobin back into the hug, holding her just as tight as Christen. We cuddled on the bed with me in the middle, both of them holding me tightly.

Tobin had been quiet all morning, and I was starting to get worried. Christen had popped out so it gave me the chance to talk to her. I had a feeling I knew what was wrong. Despite the progress we had made, I knew she still worried that I would change my mind. I hated that she still worried, but I would keep doing everything I could to make her worries go away, even if it took a while.

"Hey, what's going on Toby? You've been quieter than normal today."

"My thoughts are going crazy right now."

I sat down on the ground in front of her, pulling her so she was sitting in my lap, "You have no idea how much I'm going to miss you Tobin. Just the idea of being away from you hurts. You can expect messages and facetimes every day, you'll be sick of me by the end of it. There'll be no going back though, you're stuck with me now."

"It's a good thing I don't mind then isn't it?"

"Definitely. You can call me anytime, I can't promise to always answer straight away, but I'll do my very best."

"Ditto. Thank you Y/n."

"What for?"

"For being so understanding. Most people would have ran for the hills if their girlfriend doubted them as much as I do you, but you've stuck by me."

"Hey, while I hate that you still doubt me sometimes, I understand why you feel the way you do. I'm serious about us so I'm willing to provide as much reassurance as needed for as long as needed. A bit of distance isn't going to change that."

---

Today had been crazy. Between practice, media and team bonding, I was only able to reply to maybe one or two texts from Christen and Tobin. I had made sure to tell them I was busy, but it didn't make me feel any better. As soon as I got home and showered, I made sure they were awake before facetiming. It was 2am and I was exhausted, but talking to them made it worth it. Tobin was the only one awake, her tired self answering almost immediately.

You look tired Toby.

I am.

You should get some sleep.

I wanted to talk to you first, I missed you today.

I missed you too baby. I'm sorry I couldn't reply much today, it was hectic.

It's okay, in our job it happens. Thank you for calling, even though you look like you're about to pass out. I know it's late, but have you been sleeping okay?

Our facetimes are my favourite part of the day, I wouldn't ever miss it if I could help it. Sometimes, the nightmares are back, not as frequent, but they're there and I miss cuddling with you two.

Aww baby, I'm sorry. Two weeks and we'll be back together. We can talk to coach about us sharing a room this time if you might want to? I mean you stay with us anyway, might as well not take up another room. 

I would love that

We talked for a bit longer before the yawns wouldn't stop and we decided it was best to get some sleep.

Can you stay on the phone with me?

Of course. Goodnight Tobin, I love you

My eyes widened at the admission that slipped out. Yes it was true, I had fallen in love with them both, but it wasn't supposed to come out yet. I had intended to wait longer before telling them because it felt too soon to have those feelings. I fought the urge to hang up and hide as a grin slowly appeared on Tobin's face.

I love you Y/n. Do you uh feel this way about Chris as well?

I do, I'm in love with you both. It wasn't supposed to come out this early though. Do you think I should tell her? 

Definitely, I won't be able to stop myself from saying it and I'm almost certain she'll feel the same way about you.

Okay, get some sleep and hopefully we can squeeze in a call with Chris in the morning

I was woken up by talking on the other end of the phone. It wasn't just Tobin. I peeked at the phone, seeing Christen had joined. It was 10:30am meaning it was only 7:30am for them. 

You're awake early

Good morning sleepy head, I woke up when Chris joined

Good morning baby, you looked like you slept well

I think knowing Tobin was there made it easier.

I'm sorry I missed the call last night

It's okay Chris. I need to tell you something

What is it?

I accidently let it slip out to Tobin last night, but you should know that I love you

A wide grin appeared instantly as she replied with no hesitation, I love you Y/n

---

Ashlyn, Ali and the kids had already left for the next camp having decided to spend an extra couple of days. A mini holiday of sorts. They had asked if I wanted to come, but I had some last minute work to finish. It had only been just over a month, but I was at the point where I really missed my girls. I had never expected to miss them as much as I did, but it was hitting me hard and I was just down. I didn't want to bring them down with my mood. I hadn't heard from Christen and Tobin today, besides a good morning text so I was drowning my emotions in work. 

The doorbell rang loudly throughout the house. I was tempted to ignore it, but decided against it and threw the door open, freezing when I saw the two girls I had been missing like crazy. When I snapped out of it, my arms wrapping around them both tightly. I sunk into their touch, pulling them closer when one of them tried to pull away. I didn't want to let them go yet. 

"I missed you so much. What are you doing here?"

"We had a few days off before camp and really just wanted to see you. I know a few days would have made much of a difference, but well we missed you Y/n."

I kissed them both soft and slow, savoring the feeling of their lips, "I'm glad you're here."

We cuddled on my bed for a while before Christen volunteered to get dinner while I finished up some work with Tobin cuddled into my side. It didn't take long to finish the work that needed doing tonight. Once I put my laptop down, I pulled Tobin onto my lap, kissing her softly, "I missed you two so much Toby. I'm really glad we're back together."

Tobin rest her head against my shoulder, "Us too Y/n. Thank you for all the random facetimes and reassurances. I know it meant a lot of late nights for you."

"Seeing you and Chris is worth endless late nights."

"I love you Y/n."

"I love you too Toby."

Kisses were placed along my neck, a quiet moan escaped as I angled my head to give her more room. Tobin straddled my waist, pushing me back before leaving slightly harder kisses across my jaw and down my throat until she reached my collar bone. I gripped her hips, moaning a little louder this time as she started sucking and scraping my skin with her teeth. "Fuck T-Toby."

I was caught up in the pleasure that I didn't notice that Christen had come back until a second pair of lips attached themselves to my neck. Before I could open my eyes lips attached to mine. I instantly knew it was Christen, "Welcome back Chris."

"How'd you know it was me?"

"You two kiss differently, both just as amazing, but different."

Christen ran her fingers from one collar bone to the other, "I see you two had fun while I was gone."

"Toby how many marks did you leave?"

"Just a few."

"Tobin! Everyone's going to see them."

"I didn't hear you complaining."

I flipped her over, "Paybacks a bitch."

"Fuck Y/n," Tobin moaned as I nipped and sucked at her skin, before she pushed my head down closer to her breasts. 

"Are you sure?" I asked looking at both Christen and Tobin.

Tobin nodded quickly while Christen reached over, slipping Tobin's shirt off with an innocent smile. I hooked my hand around the back of her neck, accidently gripping her hair slightly and connected our lips in a lingering kiss. Christen moaned quietly against my lips, making me smirk, "Don't think you're safe Chris. I know this side was you."

Christen just shrugged as I went back to taking in the half naked Tobin currently pinned under me, "You are stunning Tobin."

I lent down, kissing along her bra line leaving dark marks as I went. Tobin was squirming, trying to push my head further down. Before she could, I pulled away, moving over to Christen instead. Tobin whined, but watched closely as I started on Christens neck, leaving a few dark marks before moving down to the top of her t-shirt, waiting for her permission before slipping her shirt over her head, "How did I end up with two absolutely stunning women." 

As I attacked Christens chest, I felt Tobin's hands start to wander, drawing random patterns under my shirt, along my back and stomach getting dangerously close to the waist band of my shorts. I finally pulled away when Tobin tugged at my top. She pulled it off, both of them staring at my abs. Christen reached up, running her fingers down my stomach stopping at my waistband and playing with the draw strings, making me shiver at the feeling. I laced my fingers with hers, kissing the back of her hand.

"Are you sure you guys want to do this? We don't have to go past this." I didn't want them to think that they had to do this if they thought it was too early. Sex wasn't that important to me, I just wanted to be with them. I was also worried that maybe they were only doing this with me out of obligation and that they didn't actually want me as part of it. I had also never done it with 2 people before, I didn't know if I would be any good. It was a big step in our relationship and honestly, I was nervous. 

Christen squeezed my hand, as Tobin pecked my lips, "Baby, you have no idea how much we talked about you during our less than innocent facetime calls when you were busy."

"You have no idea how much we want you. We can wait if you want to, if you're not sure about this."

"Really? Y-you t-talked about me?"

"More than we would admit. We love you Y/n, we are so insanely attracted to you it's not even funny."

"I-I-I've never been with t-two p-people before."

"It's not much different to one, just do what you do, but double it. You'll figure out what we each like pretty easily and we're here with you every step of the way. There's no rush if you're not ready yet Y/n."

I looked at them for a second. I was ridiculously attracted to them. There was no doubt that I wanted them. I smirked, pulling Christen up and tangling my fingers in her hair, tugging lightly as I connected our lips, biting her bottom lip gently as I pulled away, "I think I already know what you like."

Christen moaned, nails digging into my back to pull me against her, "Y-y-you're not w-wrong."

Tobin smirked, running her fingers across Christens back, "It drives her crazy."

My lips attached to Christen neck as I pushed her back, working my way down her chest and reaching round to unclip her bra. My fingers ran dipped between her breasts, trailing beneath them. Her breath hitched, fingers digging into my thighs, "P-please."

I glanced at Tobin, feeling bad about giving all the attention to Christen. Tobin just nodded, moving to take one of Christens nipples into her mouth as I followed suit with the other. Christen gasped hands tangling in both of our hair. It didn't take long for her to turn into a moaning mess, bucking her hips and trying to push my head down. I pulled away, waiting for her to nod before slipping her pants and underwear off. I took her in for a second, admiring her long tan legs, toned stomach, small but perfect breasts and beautiful eyes filled with want. 

Before moving any further with Christen, I connected my lips with Tobin. I didn't know what I was doing with two of them, but I wanted them to both feel wanted. I took my time with Tobin, with the help of Christen, stripping her down and working her up. I couldn't get enough of their moans, their touches, their pleads for more. It was driving me crazy, but I wanted to focus on them first. I figured the best way to ensure pleasure for them both was to have us all participating. I guided Christen so she was hovering over Tobin's face.

Christen moaned loudly at the same time I licked a line through Tobin's folds drawing a muffled moan which drew another needy moan from Christen. As Tobin worked Christen closer to the edge, I focused back on exploring Tobin. My tongue circled her clit, her hips bucking for more. Two fingers slipped easily into her, a loud, muffled moan slipped from Tobin. I pumped my fingers slowly, curling every few thrusts as I pulled away, watching as Tobin wrapped her arms around Christen's thighs, eating her out faster and harder, muffled moans falling uncontrollably. Christen head was thrown back, loud, needy moans slipping out as she reached behind her, gripping the head board for support. 

As much as I wanted to get them to come at the same time, I wanted to take my time getting to know what Tobin liked, what drove her crazy. It didn't take long for Christen to tense, moans louder than before, legs shaking as she shook. Once her high passed, she fell back against the headboard, breathing heavy. My fingers never stopped, maintaining the same slow pace that slowly turned Tobin into a moaning, pleading mess. I lent forward, kissing Tobin, moaning at the taste of Christen left behind. Christen moved behind Tobin so her head was resting against her stomach, hands moving to play with Tobin's breasts. Her back arched, hips bucking. "B-baby p-p-please. I-I need-"

Tobin cut herself off with a moan as my fingers curled. I kissed Christen before moving back down, fingers thrusting harder and faster as my tongue flicked her clit. My lips wrapped around her clit, sucking hard. She tightened around my fingers, spasming and tensing as she fell over the edge. I helped her through before cleaning her up and pulling away. Christen took my hand cleaning my fingers as I settled beside them. 

"H-holy fuck y-you're amazing baby," Tobin managed between ragged breaths. I laughed, kissing her cheek and pulling her closer. 

"I aim to please."

After catching her breath, Tobin turned over kissing between Christens breasts before turning to me, "You've got way too many clothes on and we're so not done yet."

---

Things were getting hard. Not with Christen and Tobin, we were still going strong almost two years into our relationship. Things weren't always easy. Between navigating a three person relationship, living in three different cities and them spending some time playing overseas, we had our struggles, but we were stronger for it. The problem was, I was really starting to struggle with the distance. We saw each other as often as we could, facetimed pretty much everyday even when they were overseas. It sucked, but it was manageable until recently that is. All I wanted was to be with them, but it didn't seem to be possible. I was almost constantly down, irritable, distracted if I wasn't with or talking to them. I cried after hanging up with them and crying wasn't something I normally did. 

This was something I had tried my best not to let them see. There was nothing that could be done and the intensity of these feelings would likely fade in a few weeks, so I didn't see the point in worrying them. Ashlyn and Ali had picked up on my mood change, they hadn't brought it up yet, but they had been trying to take my mind off it without pushing too much. They knew I would bring it up if I wanted to. 

"Hey, you okay?" Ali asked sitting on the deck chair next to me. I had just finished talking to Christen and Tobin

"I'm not, but I will be."

"I'm here if you want to talk about it Y/n."

I sighed, "I just miss them, more than I know how to cope with right now."

"I get that. Have you talked to them about it? Maybe they can help make things a little easier to cope with?"

"There's nothing we can do about it, I don't want to worry them. I'm sure it'll pass, if not I'll figure it out. Thank you Ali."

The next day, I was sitting down on the beach after surfing, knees pulled up to my chest as I watched the waves. It was the spot where things were most peaceful, where my mind wasn't quite so loud. I was completely zoned out when a hand landed on each knee. I recoganised the ring on one of the hands. It was Christen. I didn't look though, they weren't supposed to be there so I had convinced myself that I was imagining things. When nails ran down my back, I snapped out of it and actually looked beside me. They were actually there. Sitting beside me, looking rather concerned. I lent against Tobin's side as Christens arm wrapped around me. I couldn't bring myself to say anything or even really be excited that they were there. I was too stuck in my head. 

Tobin kissed my forehead, "What's wrong my love?"

"You don't have to tell us right now, but you've been off the last little while and we're worried."

At that I couldn't stop the tears from falling as I cried against Tobin's shoulder. They had seen me cry a few times, but it was normally short and quiet. This time though, I let everything out, not that I could stop it anyway. 

"I'm struggling."

"Can you tell us what with?"

"You guys not being here. The distance. I miss you so much it hurts. I just want you guys here and I'm having a hard time dealing with the fact that you're not."

Christen laced her fingers with mine, kissing my temple, "We're not doing much better. We actually wanted to talk to you about that though."

"About what?"

Tobin was the one to speak this time, hand still running across my back, "Moving in together. I know there's quite a lot of logistics around that, but when we were overseas, living together and seeing each other everyday, we realised how much we actually wanted to be close together, live together permanently. It was great, but there was one major thing missing."

"W-what?"

"You Y/n. Every day we would wake up and go to bed, wishing more than anything that you were with us. I know there's a lot we would need to figure out, like where, when, that sort of thing, but will you move in with us?"

I pulled them both into a hug so quickly that we fell backwards. Maybe it wouldn't be the easiest thing to figure out, but all I wanted was to be with them, "Yes, yes I would love that. I don't even care where, I just want to be with you guys." 

I held them for a minute before finally realising that they weren't supposed to be here, "Why are you guys here? Don't you have training?"

"You haven't been yourself lately, as much as you tried to hide it, we noticed. You weren't smiling, laughing or joking as much, you looked tired all the. We got worried, Ali and Ash said something was up but you weren't talking to them. There was only one day of training before we had a few days off so our coached let us go. It's only for a few days, but we wanted to come see you, see if we could finally get you to talk to us."

"Thank you. I really needed to see you both. I love you."

Tobin kissed me, filled with passion and want as always, I sunk into it, holding her close. The first kiss once I saw them again was always the best. The sense of peace and calmness that washed over me when I kissed them was a feeling I never wanted to go away, "I love you Y/n. I know you didn't want to worry us, that was the one thing Ali could tell us, but please just talk to us next time. You not talking to us, worries us more."

I left a lingering kiss against Christens lips and resting my forehead against hers, "I'm sorry, I didn't want to worry you. I promise to talk to you in the future. Thank you for coming."

"Always."

"I vote LA." Tobin spoke up making me pull away from Christen confused as to what she was talking about. "I vote we move to LA. Warm weather, good surf and I know Angel FC might be interested in signing me."

Christen looked at Tobin, smile slowly making it's way onto her face. I guess they hadn't talked about it, "R-really? You'd want to move to LA?"

"I know how much you love Angel FC and LA, I wouldn't ask you to leave that. Besides we know Y/n is obsessed with surfing."

"I wouldn't be opposed to that, I can work from anywhere. Only thing is Ash, Ali and the kids, I don't want to miss seeing them grow up so it would mean frequent trips to see them. If you can deal with that then I'm all for LA."

"Of course we can, they're your family. We'll figure it out in time."

"Sooner rather than later please."

They both held me tightly as I watched the water once again. I felt lighter, like a weight had been lifted. Not just because of the idea of moving in with them, but because they knew I needed them and they didn't hesitate to fly out for me. At one point they were the people I didn't want, but now I couldn't imagine my life without them. Maybe things weren't always going to be easy, there will be up's and downs, change and sacrifices. With them though, it would all be worth it. 

[da3drat]

I was looking for something else entirely and found this old snippet from the university au and honestly I liked it so much I had to post it lol. Meri teaches a third era history of Morrowind class (this is not why she was hired, they just make her teach it because she's oddly knowledgeable about the subject).

A hand shot up in Meri's peripheral vision and she grimaced. She knew exactly what was coming, it always did eventually.

"Sadri." She called on the student.

"But what happened to her after that?"

"To whom?"

"The Nerevarine. The primary source said she married Almalexia, is that true?"

"Most historical accounts seem to agree on that, yes."

"But how? Why? I mean she worked with the Ashlanders and the Dissident Priests. She read the alternate histories. Didn't she doubt her safety?"

Meri sighed. These questions had been so much easier to dismiss fifty years ago when she was still teaching exclusively Temple doctrine. In the years since several heretical documents had leaked with the Ashlander's account and been added to the historical conversation around the Tribunal.

"You would have to ask her that. There's no knowing for sure. However we do have some journal entries from her, and they don't seem to imply any kind of fear." She hoped that would end the conversation, but her hopes never seemed to turn out.

"They're SAPPY, too." Another student chimed in.

She should have burned that damn journal.

"Oh my gods, this passage killed me." One student snorted and flipped through his handouts. He placed a hand over his heart and vastly overacted as he read aloud. "Sometimes I get lost in her curls. Like the fires of red mountain they consume me and I can think of nothing else. The heat, the smoke, the sensations are all the same to me now. When I dream of her I feel lava. When I dream of the mountain I see her eyes."

"Is there a question there, Mero?" Her eyebrow quirked with irritation.

"No." Mero laughed. "I agree, she didn't sound scared to me."

"Well, yeah, she was brave." A tiny bosmer girl said.

"Fearless." Meri corrected. "Not quite so admirable as brave."

"Aren't they the same?"

"Bravery is acting in spite of fear." Meri walked slowly between the podium and her blackboard as she spoke. "If you're not feeling any fear, there's no bravery in your action." She pointed at Mero with her chalk. "Take Mero here, he doesn't fear being made a fool and acts without considering the possibility." A chuckle rung through the lecture hall. "If he, say, was anxious about the way he were perceived maybe it could be considered brave to constantly interrupt my lectures. Or me; I'm not afraid of spiders, is it brave to carry them out of my office in my hands? Or does it seem that way to you because you fear spiders? The spider could bite me, it could be poisonous, but I carry it all the same. It's not brave to take unnecessary risk, but it does imply a lack of concern for the consequences. Fearlessness."

"So... she married Almalexia because she didn't fear the consequences?"

"Perhaps. Perhaps it was political, or convenient, or any number of other things. But look through those journal entries again after class today. Try to find one example of fear, or any time she seems concerned about the consequences of action or inaction. I expect to hear your findings tomorrow when we finish discussing her trek beyond the Ghostfence."

[silverofthunder]

☆ found family – the wedding ☆

Copia & Aria (OC)

summary: And later, when he watched her say ’I do’ with the happiest of smiles, he knew that one day he would be able to let someone into his heart and love them like Aria loved her wife.

content: 0.7k words, slice of life, mild hurt/comfort, unrequired love (kind of), friendship, SFW

this is a continuation piece for found family - thoughts

More of this little series! This was originally gonna be the last part but who knows, maybe I'll write more... 😊 Also, I'm kind of sorry for this ending, if you happened to hope for something else. But this was my plan all along, so...

Copia heard the approaching footsteps but his eyes were glued to the old picture in his hand. He smiled sadly as someone sat beside him on the bench. There was a moment of quiet before a hand was placed on his arm.

”They would have loved to be here,” Aria spoke softly and Copia let out a shaky laugh.

”Yes, they would have,” he agreed, turning his head to look at Aria. She was smiling, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes – she missed his brothers, too. After all, they had been such a big part of Aria’s life. And it was sad that they weren’t there that day to see Aria getting married.

”It still hurts,” Copia admitted and Aria squeezed his arm, resting her head on his shoulder.

”I know,” Aria said, letting out a long sigh. ”But they are still with us, in our hearts,” she continued and Copia hummed in agreement, wrapping his other hand around Aria.

”You know… One day I thought that it would be me and you getting married.”

Aria chuckled lightly. ”You have mentioned that a few times. And I think I thought the same, at one point in my life.”

”Funny how things change as time passes.”

”Yeah, it’s crazy,” Aria stated. ”But not everything has changed. We still got each other, right?”

Copia leaned his head against Aria’s, feeling the warmth coursing through him.

”We still got each other,” he repeated.

Silence fell between them and Copia closed his eyes for a moment, breathing in the summer air. The sun warmed his skin, childhood memories filling his mind and a smile rose to his lips.

”We were quite troublemakers back then, weren’t we?” Aria’s voice brought him back to earth after a while. She was now looking at him with a little grin and Copia nodded.

”Yeah, oh those times…”

Then Aria took a hold of his hand, her expression changing into more serious one.

”Thank you, for everything,” she said, her eyes getting a bit misty and Copia’s heart moved in his chest. For some reason it felt like a goodbye even though it technically wasn’t.

”You’ve been such a great friend,” she continued, squeezing Copia’s hand tightly. ”Everyone needs a friend like you. You’ve been there through the good and the bad and I can’t even…”

”Oh, stop it,” Copia interrupted her, trying to keep his own tears at bay. ”You should be getting sappy with your wife-to-be, not me.”

Aria gently swatted his hand and shook her head as a few tears rolled down her cheeks.

”I mean it, honestly. You’re such an amazing person and I love you.”

Copia blinked as the tears blurred his vision from his good eye and his felt warm yet there was a slight sting at the same time. There had been period of time when he had been in love with Aria and he was sure there would be always a small part of him that would love her more than a friend but he could live with it. He was happy for her and hoped the best for her.

”I love you, too,” Copia said, offering a smile to Aria. Aria smiled at him back and then just surged forward, wrapping her arms around him. Copia hugged her tightly, letting the tears run free. He would surely miss her when she would leave to settle in France.

He breathed deeply in and out, squeezing his eyes shut tighter. Aria was drawing some soothing patterns on his back, probably sensing his reluctance to let go. They still had a little time before the ceremony would start.

When they eventually pulled back, they both were drying up their tears and laughing shakily.

”You’re always welcome to visit us.”

”I know,” Copia said. ”And I will do so when I can.”

Aria’s whole face lit up, her smile wide.

”That sounds like a plan. And who knows, maybe you’ll meet someone then.”

Copia’s brow quirked up. The way Aria’s eyes seemed to glint told that she might be up to something but Copia could never be sure. But he suspected that he would find it out when he finally would visit her in France.

”Or maybe I won’t,” Copia stated, earning an eye-roll from Aria.

”I’m sure you will find someone at some point. Maybe not in France but somewhere.”

Copia shrugged.

”Well, we’ll see what future will hold.”

That seemed to be enough for Aria as she smiled at him warmly.

.

And later, when he watched her say ’I do’ with the happiest of smiles, he knew that one day he would be able to let someone into his heart and love them like Aria loved her wife.

[iciatheguardess]

Hiiii it’s meeee elsie

conflicted Elsie

Look, you know as well as I do that I love TAOCC to freaking death

but like

I may have to partially step away from it after the current arcs are over.

these goofy goobers took over my life for the last three-ish months, and while I’ve had an amazing time, it’s…caused me to neglect other parts of my life, and restrict myself more than I should when it comes to how I am on this site. I’ve stated my intention to try and branch out multiple times but I never go through with it because I just…I have things to write here! I can’t! And yeah it’s fun but sometimes I get hurt even if people don’t mean to, like, I’ve gotten legitimately ill from this once or twice.

But I feel like even trying to step away a bit is somehow abandoning all of you or betraying your trusts. I want to stay friends with you guys, but my actual life and Irlsie has to come first most of the time, because I am not JUST Elsie, if that makes any sense. Elsewhere is and was always meant to be a sona for some interaction, maybe some friendos, but nothing this…involved, because I can’t put all of my social effort onto the internet because no matter what I do, the internet is not a completely genuine place, and I’ve accepted that. There are some parts of my personality I just don’t use. You don’t really ever see calm Elsie or mental illness Elsie or sappy Elsie, maybe once or twice, and that’s intentional. This is Writing Elsie’s blog, lol, but there’s other Elsie that needs to be allowed to exist outside of the internet, and I can’t neglect her or my actual life for the sake of this.

I honestly don’t know what to do here. I love these characters on a very personal level, and have poured my heart into them, and I don’t want to straight up leave them. Even only partially separating myself seems kinda pointless because I know what happens when someone gets really behind on the lore and has to be caught up on even just a day’s events to explain why Character A looks like this now or Character B is referencing this event, etc. etc.

But there’s a point where it’s not healthy anymore. Where things reach a place where I have to admit that this can’t be my entire life anymore. And I’m not entirely sure what on earth I should do about it…

If I do somewhat step back, it’ll probably be right after the vacation arc ends. i’m gonna pour my fluff loving heart and soul into that thing, don’t you worry. But you shouldn’t expect another dungeon or something like that from me unless I have a VERY good reason and a well formulated plan. Yes, I’ll probably still engage in shippery and fluff, as well as analysis, but mostly within the bounds of characters and dynamics we’ve already established, and not much farther than that. My one exception to the “after the vacation arc” rule would probably be Yelena’s arc, because of how long things in that section tend to take, for various reasons. Yelena’s arc is barely started, and stuff takes possibly days to move even a few hours in-universe. Sooooo….yeah, I wanna finish that, I’ve put too much work into it already to just stop it.

…dang this was only supposed to be a paragraph…

…pls halp, I have no idea what to do lol.

Ok. I've read over this a couple times.

First off, I'm talking to you as L here, and not Star. I am very, very proud of you for acknowledging this and understanding that this is getting unhealthy. I think it's very smart that you dont want to neglect your yourself irl and the fact you're saying this, and saying exactly what you'll be doing, I'm really proud of it.

To give you a clear answer, if it's going to help you irl then I think stepping back is smart. Especially from the trauma and angst, because that stuff hurts a LOT and it can be really, really detrimental and negatively affect irl things. What I DONT think is that it's betraying anyone. You need to be able to put yourself and your needs first in order to be your best self, and everyone understands that you can't be on tumblr 24/7 because, well, that's really really really really unhealthy and not good. I'm really glad you're telling me about this though so I, and everyone else who sees this, knows.

TAOCC is really great but there's a LOT of heavy things on here and with everything going on, it can be super weighing and really affect people irl. I can speak from experience because honestly, I'm in a similar situation. I won't speak much about that though. It's definitely addictive and can get really really unhealthy if you let it, and honestly it's not hard to let it.

I want you to do whatever you feel is best for you, no matter what that entails. Fei and Tails and Xeya and Kumo and so many others and I love you so much and do NOT want you neglecting yourself and your life irl for this- it's meant to be entertainment, not a lifestyle.

I think it's smart to finish Yelena's Arc before partially stepping back. And I think it's even smarter to not want to do another dungeon, because that whole thing was a massive angst-fest and I think it negatively affected people more than they care to admit. Shippery and fluff and minor things is a good boundary.

I'll wrap this up now, but again, I'm in full support of this decision because I want you to be at your best. You're right, you're not just Elsie. And it's not fair for you to only be Elsie when you're so much more than that. If stepping away from tumblr will help you take care of the other parts of your life that we aren't involved in or aware of, then please do so because no part of you and your life should be sacrificed for the sake of entertainment.

Again, I'm really, really proud of you for admitting this.

Please know we'll always support you and you're super important to all of us, so don't ever feel bad for putting your needs first. Irl things should always come first.

But no matter what always remember:

WE LOVE YOU SO SO SO MUCH AND YOURE SUPER IMPORTANT AND WE WANT THE BEST FOR YOUUU ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Everything I said is applicable for everyone else reading this too. Taocc is fantastic and we love it but it shouldn't completely take over your life. It's okay to take a break or step back fully if it means the best for your health and irl life. Please remember to take care of yourselves- and everything that Elsie talked about here is FANTASTIC self care. It may be hard, but it's also the best decision she can make for herself and may be the best decision for others too.

Alright- I think I covered everything. Don't ever feel like you're betraying us Elsie- it's not betrayal, it's self care. We'll still be here for you, always. Never forget that ❤️❤️❤️

[hendolish]

Your ficlets are so amazing!!!!!

I wonder, do you have any headcanons for your ships (I'm sorry can't choose one) with engagement? Who's the one who propose, when it happens and reaction?

I'm sorry if i make it complicated!

proposal headcanons ♡

hendolish

hendo would totally be the one to propose and he’d definitely put in a lot of effort into making sure they have the best day together leading up to a fancy dinner; sleepy and loving morning sex (jack’s favourite kind) and taking skye on a walk along the beach together beforehand. however, jack being jack, doesn’t really catch on that he’s being proposed to until hendo’s literally down on one knee in front of him because hendo does nice things for him like, all the time, anyway.

honestly, he hasn’t much thought about marriage before. it has nothing to do with jordan or their relationship it just hasn’t ever crossed his mind, probably bc he’s the younger of the two. but then as soon as jack sees jordan lowering himself onto one knee and he finally catches on to what’s about to happen, he thinks about marrying jordan; spending the rest of their lives together, growing old and all that, and suddenly he’s never wanted anything more in his life. yes, he says almost too loudly, the words ripping from his lungs, yes, hendo… i— yes. of course i’ll marry you. and jordan kisses him before anything else stupid can come out of his mouth, both with huge grins digging into their cheeks.

stonesford

jordan proposes to john and he’s a sap deep down so he wants it to be romantic and perfect but knows john wouldn’t want much of a fuss so he tries to strike up a middle ground for them both by doing it all in the comfort of their own home. he tidies everything up and makes it look nice before john comes back from training. there’s no roses or anything but he does light a few candles because they have them anyway and never burn them and dims the lights slightly. when john arrives home he’s still in his training gear, which is perfect really, jordan thinks, because it’s so informal and normal and just them.

john shouts hello and jordan calls him to the lounge. when john enters, it’s with a reproachful eye and a sigh, ‘don’t tell me the power’s gone out again, we really should just—‘ he pauses when he catches jordan standing there in the middle of the room, probably looking more nervous than usual, and he’s never nervous, and fiddling with something inside his jacket pockets until he pulls out his hand to reveal a ring between his fingers . ‘you …no way...’ john stutters then, sounding like he doesn’t know what else to say. ‘yep,’ jordan quips back, grinning giddily but feeling like the ring might slip from his shaky grasp any minute, ‘only if you want, of course.’ john calls him an idiot before rushing over to kiss him senseless in answer.

benaaron

okay so, the obvious answer here is that aaron proposes to ben. he’d make it ridiculously romantic and sappy, whisking ben away on some romantic holiday where they get to live in their own little bubble for a week or two before he pops the question… which is why i love to imagine it happening in a completely different way where ben proposes to aaron before aaron has the chance.

it goes like this: they’re tucked up in bed together because it’s winter and the heating hasn’t kicked in yet, bathing in each other’s warmth as they watch the snow begin to fall outside talking about stuff, and ben just says something like, ‘dunno why everyone’s getting married abroad these days, i’d love for it to snow at our wedding’. and aaron’s hand abruptly stops combing through ben’s hair. our he’d said.

ben seems unfazed and completely aware of what he’s just said as well, cheek still pressed comfortably against aaron’s chest, so it wasn’t just a slip of the tongue. aaron hopes, anyway. ‘you want that?’ he checks, feeling a burning need to, ‘with me?’ ben cranes his neck to give him a look that most certainly conveys, ‘who tf else would i be marrying?’ and aaron rushes to lean down and kiss him because he feels like his heart is about to burst from his chest.

♡