#i feel like i get lazier and lazier with tag things

[drawlody]

My list of Adam ships♡ n my opinion bout them (also fics rec :D)

Adam x Luicfer (Adamsapple/Duitarduck) 10/10

Need i say more:)))??!?! started out as a "haha funny slip-up ship" to "hey they got really good angst potential". The friends/lovers to enemies to lovers is STRONG with this one n i am eating up everything i could found on ao3. Smth bout this macho-ass man finally getting to stay back n not take charge for once feel nice, also princess Adam supermacy wooooo. Whoever came up with the ship name i applaud u cause that's like a 3 layers name(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

It's not an Adamsapple fic without Adam having at least 1 mental breakdown n Lucifer have his guilt eating him alive:)))

Very fucked up torture but i swear it worth the pain:D The dove is so dead it start to rot so plz read the tags properly (plz check out the AngeliaDark other works too they got good shit)

This one have a splits so check out both the fics (beware the author have a skrewed sense of what is considered wholesome:))))

I didnt think a smut scene could be this sad

Adam x Lute (Guitarspear/Guardrock) 10/10

Litteraly my first Hazbin ship, assholes in love is an underrated dynamic we desperately need more off:))) That with a dash of evil dude x loyal subordinate (which i havent seen since the Deathglare days) n opposite attract (look they have one main thing in common is that their extreme bloodthirst, other than that she's stricter than ur mom n he's lazier than the Sloth ring itself but that the beauty of it no? He convince her to chill tf out n not to burst a blood vessel, she keep him on track n make sure Sera dont come on their asses)

They're just being silly enabling each other terrible behaviour n i love that for them (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ) Litteral besties i tell ya

Heavy non-con shit involving Val but Lute will revenge our boi i promised u that

Cool idea n they r just made for each other damn

First hazbin fic i read which is a really cool smut:D

Adam x Micheal (we need a ship name people ) (update: it's Songbird/Guitarhero) 10/10

I like how we dont even got a proper comfirmation of Micheal design/personality yet the ship is here already ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ( im using the Nakariiale's design as a base here love their design)

Hit me with that rebound love x "u look like my ex so im using u as a replacement but ill fall for the real u eventually" x co-workers in heaven. I'm thinking smth along the line of "after Lucifer fucked off with Lilith, Micheal became Adam guardian angel n they just hang out" ya feel me here? (✿◕‿◕✿)

Shout out to Bloog_b for dragging me into this ship:DDD also im on the Adam x the archangels ship as a "gotcha" to Lucifer of sort. Like bitch u stole my wives imma steal your brotherS

Look it's Adamsapple endgame but trust me u will be feed well on this ( u know how good u gotta be for people to ditch the main ship?)

I'm giving yall 4 fics here cause i can only found 4 rn(._. )

this one is uhh non-con so beware

Micheal is indeed Adam guardian angel in this one:D

Adam x Eve (Flowertunes) 8/10

I dont care what yall said they love each other throughout Eden n Earth , might have a falling out in heaven but that doesnt change the fact that they were once IN LOVE. Honestly why cant we just have a couple that have the same bright-eyed innocence like one another.I refuse to believe Eve like willingly cheat on Adam with malicious intent n all, simply she was indeed ''tricked'' or just not fully understand the sistuation, n Adam love her way too much to think that she would do that to him like Lilith. Hell the dude was heartbroken after L left , starting the abandonment issues, so he would have cling to Eve, doing everything so that he aint alone again, even if that mean leaving Eden

Honestly it pisses me off that the Adam/Eve tag on ao3 most of the time is just 1 dialouge between them back when Eve bit the apple n thats it no elaboration on the couple whatsoever >:(((

Lots of switcharoos

sinner eve woooo

look its hard trynna find a fic focusing on them ok?

Adam x St. Peter (Guitargreeter (bet ya didnt see that coming:))) 7/10

Base on this fanfic alone Joe my dude u r on the path of becoming THE Adam crack-ship writer n i am here for this:)))) just so u wait this dude gonna whip out a AdamxNifty , AdamxHusk fic later on ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

From within the fic itself the ship its 2 bros in love with homophobia standing in the way >:( also when did we have a name?!?!?!?

I just like Adam x anyone in heaven alright:D like bro famous n he got that ancient rizz, u telling mr he cant bag a hottie or 2-100+ hmm?

Adam x Alastor (Angelicradio) 8/10

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT ABOUT THEM THAT I SHIP I JUST DO φ(゜▽゜*)♪ i blame YOU honestly rn this ship is either Adam found Al after the fight n they make a deal or they're in heaven n they chillin this ship is confusing:D

They're angels on heaven

Adam gone back into eden n do shit differently

This is both Adam/Eve n Adam/Alastor kinda

Adam x Alastor x Lucifer (Angelicradioapple/ Charlie's dads (only me call them that lol)) 9/10

''Hey Charlie u know how u r sad that your mother left? Wellllllll i got you 2 new dads suprise:DDDD''

Look 3 miserable men who hate each other + hell's greatest dad + my love for Dadam = Messy ass old men yaoi :DDDD n it work perfectly with Alastor Asexuality too!!! Like Adam n Lucifer could fuck each other brains out before Al joining in for the cuddles lol

Chaos ensue

Not exactly a love triangle but a love corner but hey we barely got food here :D

I cant believe how hot this shit is lol

Adam x Eve x Lilith x Lucifer (Eden poly/ applecore?) 8/10

They could have been all married to each other(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ But as much as i go "OooOooo Poly yay'' i just cant vibe with EvexLucifer, like the cheating vibes is wayyyyyyyyy too much i just cant man . I mean with the interpetation that Lucifer came to Eden to hang out with the humans they all know eachother, they're a throuple yes but BUT when Eve came into the picture it was only with Adam n him only so the other 2 is ehhhh. Im fine with EvexLilith cause im seeing it happening later, not hidden from Adam while LuciferxEve got that deception going on .So uhhh in this ship they're more like bestie than lovers to me¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also AdamxLilith is an underrated pairing like everytime i saw this applecore thing going on these 2 r at most tolerate each other like cmonnnnn we already twist this to hell n back, why cant we make it so their arguement was a petty non-malicious one n they still cares for each other hmm???

They're one happy family

IDK what to tell u bittersweet reunion n loving family is the only typa fic u get with this ship

Not that im complaining i need this wholesomeness

Adam x Mammon (Adammon/Madam/Greedyguitar/ 1st chirstmas.... hasnt had an offical name yet) 10/10

They r litteraly same person different font idk what to tell u. More insults thrown around than Guitarspear but they're pretty similar. Adam is just " sinners suck ass but this dude is the worst in the best way". Also they're both big bois (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧ , they love towering over others

I'm sorry but there r barely BARELY

any fics of them :(

The art side is more plentiful tho :D

Adam x Angel Dust (Holydust/guitardust) 5/10

THEY ARE BESTIES YOUR HONOUR n that the exact reason why i cant see them be together as a couple 100%, like the shit-talking bff vibes r wayyyy too strong XD Angel finally got someone who have the same vulgar humour as him n if Adam got married in hell Angel would 100% be his best bitch of honour (≧∀≦)ゞq(≧▽≦q)

They're best friends who have casual no-string attached sex that is ACTUALLY no-string attached:)))

I came to ship them due to those "What if they're co-workers under Val' scenarios ive been seeing on Tumblr

I got like 1 fic on ao3 i mean if u r looking for just platonic friendship between them then rest asure most Adam's redemption fics have that

I got 1 fic on tumblr

Adam x Charlie (Charadam/Guitarprincess) 5/10

U know this ship give me a pretty bad first impression since a good chunk of the fics r either heavy non-con shit or lean wayyyyy to much into the daddy kink, ya know how Charlie got suppose daddy issues n all that jazz?:))) yeah that... that

But after seeing the art side of this ship im chillin with them now, since the art r pretty wholesome, usually having them decked out in punk-rock clothings hanging out. It's a big "Fuck you" to Lucifer n i live for these mf argueing ╰(*°▽°*)╯

So uhhh stay away from the fics if ya want an actual functional couple instead of wtv messed up shit we got there:))) But here's a fic anyway, the only one where it feel bearable n actual trynna go into said messed up relationship i already warn you

We got cracks like Guitarmaid (AdamxNifty), Valadam (AdamxVal) which i dont have enough materials to decied, Classicalrock (AdamxSera) sound interesting but also havent found anything , Guitarhalo (AdamxEmily) is an unexpected find, find i deem them to be more familial than romantic so we'll see if there's a fic good enough to convince me

Edit:i forgot to add Blitzo like Mammon already there why did i forgot

Adam x Blitzo (i dont think anyone even ship this but me:)) 7/10

I cant find a single fic where they has anything more than a 1 nightstand n 1 interaction where they hit it off , i live off imagination alone (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) but like fr fr they would match so well, like their bloodlust n general jerkiness would make them the 3rd asshole x asshole ship on this list :DDDD

Tho as much as i wanna see them go further i feel like an on-n-off relationship/friends with benefits fit em more ya know ( *^-^)ρ(*╯^╰) If ya have any fic but the 2 here that have them interact lemme know cause a bitch need food :)

This is a lot of tag(._. )

[rubyuji]

Bounce Back (Lee Chan) ₊˚ʚ 🌱 ₊˚✧ ﾟ.

Genre: Angst (full on because I’m depressed as shit)

Warnings: None

Synopsis: Seeing you with his best friend suddenly made him want to bounce back to the night you confessed your love.

Note: Trying out a new layout for blurbs / drabbles because these are shorter and lazier works I guess? Anyways, I’m working on a lot but I’m trying to find things to fill up the gaps between long ass works of mine. Don’t forget to like + reblog as a way of showing my work support! Happy reading!

WC: 477

His heart ached for you endlessly. He’s witnessed you being turned down by everyone you liked more than once, and Chan felt the guilt eating up at him, knowing he was now part of the lineup of people who hurt you.

Only now he could only watch as someone else sweeps you off your feet, knowing he’ll treat you better than he ever will.

“Will I ever be worthy of love Chan?” You cried softly. The night he turned you down was one he would never forget, your tear-stained face leaving a permanent scar in his heart and the back of his mind.

“I don’t understand what the problem is, I’m just so tired of being rejected all the damn time. Is there something wrong with me? What can I do to be better? I feel like I’m lacking in every way,” The words you uttered haunt him every day, knowing he had grown feelings for you too late now.

Chan watches as you laugh along with his best friend, Seokmin. The man had pursued you not too long after Chan had rejected you and he tried his very best to win your heart over, which he managed to do successfully.

“Chan, listen, I like Y/n and I heard that she’s always been turned down by the ones she liked. Do you think she’d still let me in her heart?” Seokmin frantically asked Chan.

The younger could only nod while watching him Facetime you in the kitchen and hearing you say yes to him asking if he could take you out. At least someone was willing to put in the effort to win you over before jumping into a relationship, and you both knew Seokmin well enough, so it was a lot on his part.

The first few days were bittersweet, he would see Seokmin on the phone with you and see how he dressed up for a date. It got to the point where Mingyu, Minghao, and Seungkwan would constantly ask why he was in and out of the dorms so often with a happy grin on his face while his eyes sparkled.

Chan gradually noticed that despite you still staying friends with him and not letting anything awkward get in between you, you were also starting to become more distant after his best friend had slowly but surely started to win your heart over.

He would see your stories on social media being filled with flowers, dates, or small gifts, all from Seokmin whom you’ve tagged in every single one. Chan was happy for you, and he knew you deserved to be happy, but a part of him had also wished that he wasn’t an idiot that night and tried to work things out between you two.

Now he’s watching Seokmin getting down on one knee and proposing to you whilst tears stream down your face. You deserved all the love his friend gave you, but to him, he turned you down at what cost?

© rubyuji 2024’ -. no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any manner without the permission from the publisher.

[moeblob]

I keep putting off making this kind of post but I think I have to make it for now.

•I draw daily and don't wanna be asked why I draw the same characters a lot. It's cause I like them. •I draw daily and if what I draw isn't your ship please don't add how it relates to your ship in tags. It ain't about them. •I draw daily and sometimes make text posts. You follow me, that's what you get. Feel free to pay me to shut up (though as commissions are closed, you can't pay me to draw something right now). •I draw daily but that doesn't mean I'll answer every ask I get with art. Be reasonable with asks or I won't hesitate to close my inbox or turn anon off. •I draw daily FOR FUN. This is for stress relief and I'd rather it stay that way so please don't drag me down. Energy levels vary daily and I don't want anyone asking why some weeks are lazier than others.

Bonus of: •This isn't meant as 'don't ask me things' or 'don't ask me for a favor/crop'. I will do my best to tag things if requested and I am still open to genuine questions about certain characters! I do like interacting with people over asks (hence why my inbox is almost always open) but lately it feels like people don't acknowledge this is a hobby of mine and not my life/income.

Thank you all very much for following me if you do and thank you for the patience while I'm stressing out a lot IRL.

[organised-kitty]

Tag 20-28 | 18/100 hours | 28/08/23

So basically this week I barely studied German, I only did like 2 hours in the entire week and I felt like a total failure to be honest. After careful analysis I realised I needed to re organize my goals, my plan, my study techniques and my mindset so I can make this work out the best possible. At this moment I’m in a stage where I feel like nothing works to help me get back on track but I need to see this as a period of experimentation to help me push forward. So this is my take on how to deal with failure and slumps in progress. (Inspired by selfcare-journey)

⭐️ Identify what’s not working

Personally, what’s keeping me from doing my tasks is the fact that I’m always feeling tired and I have frequent migraines; I have been sleeping less than 6 hours a day because of university and yet I haven’t done as much progress because I’m so tired, I can’t focus and therefore I worked very slowly which left me feeling lazier, very frustrated and unmotivated.

⭐️ Prioritizing health and self care

I think we have all been consumed at some point by the idea of toxic productivity where the one who works the most and sleeps the least is the best one, but ultimately enjoying learning and having quality study time will only be possible if we’re physically and mentally sane.

I feel hesitant to redefine my work hours because I feel guilty when I think of studying less, I’m scared of not meeting deadlines, but I already know that this toxic cycle isn’t working for me so I have to accept that it’s okay if I can’t study 8 hours straight, if I need more breaks than other people and it’s okay if I work slow, if I don’t grasp things quickly, it’s okay to fall behind..because I’m in the process of rewiring how I study and taking my time is better than not doing anything and giving up.

⭐️ Managing energy levels

Along with my horrid sleeping schedule this energy slump is also the result of me not eating throughout the day and then having a huge unhealthy meals later in the day, and it’s really affecting my energy levels. So I need to start keeping hydrated, doing light exercise, eating healthier and more regular meals along with having better sleep hygiene because honestly I feel half dead. I also need to go to a medical check up to figure out what’s the cause of my migraines.

⭐️ Dealing with procrastination

I think lately I really struggle with a sense of discomfort when I study because lately I associate studying with failure and frustration. So I think breaking my task into smaller bits might make it less overwhelming. When I was in therapy I learnt a lot about how to deal with intrusive thoughts and emotions so I will put some of those techniques into practice. I also want to work on self compassion and embracing the idea that even a little progress is a step closer to my goal, I think celebrating those small wins can create a positive cycle of motivation.

⭐️ Improving focus

For this aspect I will go back to the ultra short Pomodoro method. (10-15 min with 2 min break) Force myself to work for a small period of time and give myself a tiny break. It’s a pretty basic technique but the idea of this is to experiment and see how well it works for me, identify for how long I can work until things start to become difficult. I think the best breaks are those that keep you away from your phone, because 5 minutes of social media is a recipe for disaster. So I will try to do things like grab some water, stretch a bit, breathing exercises, clean my bag, walk around the room a bit, doodling, have a snack, so that I keep active but refreshed. I think being in a productive environment like a library or a cafeteria could also help to keep focused.

⭐️ Enjoying learning

Now that I’m coming across more difficult content I tend to get unmotivated, so I think the best strategy is try seeing it like a game, where I don’t focus on the learning outcome but rather focus on the process of understanding, problem solving and overcoming new challenges, perhaps that will make the journey more rewarding.

Reminding one self of why I started and connecting the connecting the content to my interests and real world applications could be really useful in boosting my curiosity and motivation as well.

⭐️ Active learning

My study sessions have turned into something very passive, just doing exercises and checking flashcards has become very boring. I think I need to re-incorporate more active learning techniques like writing in a journal in my target language and talking to native friends more.

Additionally I think I need to readjust my schedule and re organize myself so I can include these changes, track them and check for feedback, but this post is already long enough so I will make a separate one.

[wanderingmind867]

I feel like I don't do much online now. I never leave my dashboard, really. I never seem to find the time to do stuff online. And that's probably not a good thing. It's probably just a sign that I'm getting lazier and lazier in my time online. and i hate it.

I wrote that yesterday, but never posted it. So now i need to try and elaborate more on all of it. So let me explain how lazy I feel: I feel like I never leave my dashboard, I never scroll through blogs or tags, I never do anything besides occasionally reading comics, using ai bots, or staying sedentary and just sticking to my dashboard. And none of those options are super great, especially not when I know I used to actually read more stuff on blogs. I used to read and look up headcanons online often (before my old tablet died and i got this account). I used to read fanfiction occasionally (more often than i do now, at least). There's a lot of stuff i feel like i don't do as much anymore, and that really bugs me.

[eggluttony]

How's Eggman and AU Gerald doing after becoming so fat they lounge on couches instead of walk? I bet they spend most of it teasing each other for how big they got, mess with each other's fat (cheeks, chins, bellies, tits, butts even? 🥰) and mess with each other a little placing the other's favorite snack on top of the other's belly, knowing their weight will make it difficult to reach lol💕

Those are cute funny ideas! I can definitely see them getting into playfully teasing each other after they've gained all the weight 🥰

To those uncomfortable the last time we talked about this- respectfully, you don't need to read more past here. Don't like, don't read.

You control your own experience beyond my tagging and read more. This is platonic family fun in my eyes but it's cool to not vibe with it.

Yes absolutely! There's nothing more for them to do when they're just lounging on the couch all day, fat spilling out everywhere and huge soft bellies pinning them down. All they can do is eat and enjoy their new bodies but they definitely can't help but tease each other for just how huge they let themselves become!

Sometimes Gerald pinches Ivo's cheeks to feel how chubby they've gotten and give his double chins a stroke and says "Goodness son, you've gotten so plump!" He has to say something about how fat Ivo looks sat next to him, from his double almost triple chin, plump cheeks, heavy sagging tits, and wide flabby soft belly.

"Oh yeah? And who was it that inspired me to start, encouraged me to pursue it, and gained tons more weight alongside me? That's right, you!" Ivo shoots back with a smirk as he grabs his grandpa's cheeks and squishes them together, then uses a finger to jiggle his double chin. Well two can play at that game!

"But the weight is clearly showing on you more, big tits." Gerald chuckles as he grabs and shakes one of his round fat titties to make his point. Ivo blushes, he didn't think his grandpa could be so cheeky and forward with teasing! He does the same to him and says "Well yours have gotten pretty big too, ha!"

In the rare times they're (struggling to) stand up and move, most often to get extra food as their robots won't bring them quite as much as their greedy bellies desire hehe, they'll tease each other for how they waddle, can't put their hands straight down by their sides and walk holding their big fat bellies instead.

They can't stand side by side at the pantry anymore, they've become too big and wide. So if one takes too long grabbing food in front, the one behind grabs the other's butt and gives it a slap or squeeze and says "Hurry up fatty, I want my food! I can't choose what to eat with this big globular thing in the way!"

The other laughs and says "Hey! I have to deal with the same when you're in front of me, just look at how huge yours is too!" and lifts it up in their hands and then drops it so it bounces, proving how thick as jiggly the other's has gotten too. "And if you eat any more out of this pantry, it's going to get even bigger!"

One will grab and jiggle the other's butt if they're taking up too much space on the couch, saying, "Shift your big butt will ya? I need more space!" The other says "If yours wasn't so big, you wouldn't need more." And it turns into them playfully slapping each other's as they stand up and try to make room for each other XD

When they're finished with a huge feast, Gerald grabs and shakes Ivo's belly and says "Finally satisfied, tubby boy?" and is surprised by how hefty and engorged with food and fat it is. Ivo says, "well have you?" and pats and squishes Gerald's huge belly too, amused by how much his hand sinks into his thick soft fat.

They also poke fun at each other for their heavy breathing and panting while trying to get around and the impact their huge weights have on their mobility. They're both so much lazier and slower now and are constantly huffing and panting. A lot of days it's easier to just lounge and let robots do all the work

When Ivo is easily worn out, Gerald laughs "Is that really such a challenge to be getting so winded?" Ivo gets defensive "Bold words when you can barely move either!" Gerald says "But my older age plays a part too, you're the one who can hardly move without age factoring in quite as much, you're huge!"

Gerald puts his favorite snack on Ivo's belly to prove his point. Ivo really wants it despite all he's eaten already but he's much too fat and full to reach forward and pick it up. Not even his long arms can reach around his huge belly to pick it up, he's panting and huffing and getting hot and flustered from overexertion.

Gerald teases him for his struggle, saying "I told you so!" It's amusing to see Ivo have such a hard time with it with his massive belly spilling out so far in front of him. Gerald has to finally help him after watching him helplessly wiggle his arms for a little while until he's exhausted and red-faced from so much effort hehe

"Oh yeah, I can do the same to you!" Ivo says as he places a snack on his too. Gerald does struggle with his also enormous belly but manages to come quite a bit closer than Ivo! They both have huge hefty bellies but Ivo's is on another level, with 80 lbs more pounds of fat piling on his thick fat jiggly body!

Gerald says he can tease him back as much as he wants but it's undeniable that title of biggest, fattest, and heaviest in the Robotnik family belongs to Ivo. Ivo says "Yeah well you're the one who inspired me and got so much bigger with me too." Gerald says "But it was worth it, wasn't it?" Ivo has to smile and agree!

They enjoy the fun teasing and banter a lot, as embarrassed as both can get when they really lay it on thick. They have a lot of precious bonding experiences in embracing their new lives as enormous greedy fatties together! 💜

[yuexuan]

[Review]美食之末世求生

Title: 美食之末世求生 Gourmet in Surviving Apocalypse

Author: 张叔叔i/张抱抱

Length: 230 chapters

Tag: Modern, apocalypse, zombie, food, rebirth

Summary:

Zheng Yan was reborn to one year before the apocalypse. With an unlimited space in hand, he shall have all the delicious food.

Dealing with ‘the best’ (read: the worst) relatives on one side, and collecting all sorts of food on the other hand: Hot and sour noodles, soup dumplings, hot dry noodles, hand cakes, spicy hotpot, pickled cabbage noodles, grilled gluten, butter cakes……wait.

Novel

Comments **contain spoilers**:

As the summary suggests, Zheng Yan died in the apocalypse after being betrayed by his roommate. However, he found himself reborn to one year before the zombie outbreak. This time, he discovered the secret within the coin passed down from his mother: it possessed an unlimited space inside, along with an alien AI. He was not only able to store things in the space, but he could also farm there. Zhen Yan decided that he would start gathering all the delicious foods he could get his hands on, in preparation for the imminent apocalypse. At the same time, he also sought out one of the strongest men during the apocalypse: Huo Xian. Hey, it never hurts to befriend a strong person, right?

I was seeking novels with food-themes and came across this title. The novel starts out with a delightful tone along with lots and lots of hunger-inducing mentions of foods (especially sour and spicy ones). The second half of the novel takes a turn for the serious and gory, focusing more on Zheng Yan and his team’s survival in the apocalypse.

Some of the highlights of the novel include:

Food. Need I say more? Just don’t read this when you are hungry haha otherwise you’ll end up like me having random cravings in the night.

I might’ve related too hard to the mentions of DMBJ and complaints about the ending of the series. As a former-DMBJ fan, I agree so much with the complaints ;)

Overall the characters in the main team are likeable - they do not rely on the strongest character (i.e. ML) for their survival, but strive their best to improve their skills so that they can contribute to the team.

Plot-wise it is pretty straightforward and paces nicely. I like that the plot is split between their everyday training vs fighting other humans who wanted to take advantage of the team.

That being said, I do have two things that I didn’t like:

The main character. Zheng Yan started out being an OK lead, simply by being a normal person who strives to use his experience in the apocalypse to help his team. However, overtime, it feels like he gets lazier and relies instead on Huo Xian to help with everything. It just seems hypocritical that he is sending his teammates into danger to train while he sat back and did nothing.

Another thing is the missed potential for the worldbuilding. The story sets up Huo Xian to be one of the strongest humans due to his ability to evolve all five elements. However, ultimately the novel didn’t dwell too much into Huo Xian, other than him being a possessive gong.

[dzpenumbra]

4/30/23

Last night was difficult.

I don't think I mentioned it in my journal, maybe I did and I don't remember, idk, I'm going to tell the story anyway. I was watching a Red Dead stream last night and a girl who had been a subscriber in that channel for 7 consecutive years accidentally wrote a private message into the Twitch chat. And I mean really private.

(side note - ctrl+b, which is used for bold is right between ctrl+v [paste] and ctrl+n [new window in chrome]. And the undo on Tumblr is fucked. So... just... gonna point out how frustrating and inconvenient that is if you just slightly miss the b key and suddenly you either have a new window pop up or a paragraph of text just appears.)

This chick posted about like... really bad medical news. Like organ disease news. That she got that day. And she immediately asked mods to delete it, because she couldn't. And no one did. And there were like over 1000 people in there. And then these assholes started copying and pasting her message. At first just one. Then one who spent "channel points" to actually highlight the copied message. Then like 5 more. It... was really disturbing. Like... I struggle to see any humor in it, and I have a pretty open mind about humor. It really felt like someone saying "haha look, this chick has cancer!" As though... anyone is going to laugh about that...

Now... I know a thing or two about humor. Humor used to be my primary coping mechanism. And most humor is just that, it's a way of diffusing something incredibly uncomfortable or painful, and transforming it into something funny, something palatable. Something positive, even. And sometimes that can be a... compulsion for some people, a reflex, that they're not even really conscious of. But there's a skill to doing that. It takes effort, it takes practice, it takes skill. And there is nothing... buckle the fuck up, I'm going loud here... THERE IS NOTHING FUCKING LAZIER THAN COPYING AND PASTING SOMETHING AND CALLING IT FUNNY. <catches breath> Okay, just had to get that out. People man, I just don't understand. Do these fucking imbeciles really lack the brain cells to understand that making a joke about a serious medical condition should... I dunno... maybe be handled a little more tactfully than treating it like retweeting a fucking meme or something?

Again, I am not against jokes that test the line, and even outright cross it. At all. Pushing those boundaries is important, in its own way. But there's a goddamn reason why we only had one Don Rickles. There's a reason we had one South Park. One Jackass. There is an art to pushing boundaries, and it requires skill, charisma and confidence. And these people had none of the above. They were just... schoolyard bullies, trying to impress other schoolyard bullies. They were literally grown-ass schoolyard bullies, likely piss drunk at 4AM, watching a 38 year old man pretend to be a cowboy in a video game, and stumbled across what was pretty obviously a private message between a long-standing paying community member and likely a family member... and they decided they wanted to pants her in front of class. Like... this is a fucking cartoon of schoolyard bully behavior. And people were fucking laughing! People were like... chuckling and going along with it

I... I pulled up a private message to her. And I typed out "hey, what they're doing is really not cool and I'm really sorry all this is happening to you. It's really fucked up." And... I didn't send it. Any other lifetime, I would have sent it. But I didn't. And I don't even know why I don't anymore. I definitely didn't stand up for her in chat. I didn't even support her behind closed doors. But when she put a message in chat saying it was fucked up? I immediately tagged her and sent a heart emoji, like... lightning speed, to show she has my support. I just... I feel bad. It's self preservation, it has to be. Like... I don't want this mob turning on me... So I don't stick up for the grown adult that's being bullied by grown adults. Because there are people there whose job it's supposed to be to moderate that, and they were asleep at the wheel, and... I didn't want to overstep, and they sure as shit won't respect my opinion if I don't have a sword icon next to my name.

And the streamer, when he noticed? He chuckled. And was like, "come on guys, knock it off..." Like... it was a bunch of kids playing in the backyard by throwing knives at the dog or something, and that's his response. It made me super uncomfortable. That and the shit that went down in his Discord? Blatantly saying "we're mob-mentality around here, okay?" And the Native American character he made, and how... really insensitive he was with it... and how he pretty obviously got reported several times on it but straight up lied to his audience about it and has doubled-down so many times I can't even count. "Nah nah nah, Moondance isn't going anywhere guys, I'll play him whenever I want, I just don't feel like it tonight..." RIIIGHHHTTT... I just... I'm really turned off by it.

Fuck the internet, man. The internet is very blatantly advertising directly to children, who are the most profitable demographic on the internet, if you weren't aware... and Twitch specifically has developed a wagering system with fake internet points that you accumulate by spending time watching a streamer (more time = more ads = more $$ for Twitch = more fake points for the kids). And they call them. Get this. Tell me this isn't disgustingly corporate Amazon cliché. They call them "Predictions". It's not gambling marketed towards children to keep them on a website that makes money off of feeding them ads, no no no, it's placing a wager on a "Prediction". I'm not gambling on what the outcome is, with a payout ratio identical to a fucking horse track, nope, I'm just predicting what the outcome is going to be and if I get it right I get a neat prize! They specifically market their site to children. How have they not gotten this shut down yet?!

Okay, got a bit of that out of my system. Why the fuck am I telling this story from last night? Well... I had a night terror. I got about 4-5 hours of sleep, and I had a super intense nightmare. It was very vivid, but I didn't remember much except for the last bit. And... it took me a bit of journaling (I did dream journal, so yay on that) to really start to understand what it was about. I might as well paint a picture for you, it was super vivid and deeply meaningful for me.

I was in a location that represented my parents' basement. I grew up in that house from the ages of 11-18, very formative years. My parents are closeted hoarders, they hide it well. The basement was where everything went. I was down there with someone else, I don't remember who it was. I had found a book that was for me, that I felt bad I hadn't read because, when I was down there and started reading it, it was really interesting. It was part of a series, and it was an exploration and interpretation of the Bible through historical record, plausible science and comparison with other cultural ideologies/mythologies. It was... really cool, and right up my alley. Almost like something I would write, if I felt qualified. I read the part about Genesis I and as I was reading... I got that thing I get sometimes where the mental imagery gets really vivid. And this moment was really disorienting in a dream, and is even disorienting just trying to process how it even happened, because I was... dreaming... which is my imagination, my subconscious mind... and then within that dream I was reading a text and... my subconscious in the dream was conceptualizing the text visually. It was like a Russian Nesting Doll of subconscious visualization, it's absolutely mind-boggling that that's even possible. And this visualization was... essentially an early proto-Earth colliding with a very water-dense celestial object. My brain interpreted this very metaphorically, like big blob of water. And then the combination of these two qualities ended up nurturing an environment like hydrated and nutrient enriched soil. Again, a metaphor, like... water and collision were huge components in setting off the chain reaction that resulted in... life. And... there was some part in the text that was referring... where either that water-dense body or the proto-Earth likely came from. I don't really remember the details on that.

And then... after that... I remember the person I was with upsetting the streamer (who was there with a bunch of his friends in-character), and they left. And after I read and visualized all of that, as though I had read it out loud... he kinda knew. Honestly, I'm struggling to remember it, I'm going to get the journal real quick to refresh.

Okay, it looks like even in the journal right after I woke up I wasn't sure what had upset the streamer and the people he was with. I was reading that passage in the book in the moments leading up to him getting upset and leaving. The book had this section in it that was like MadLibs... like a simple mini-test to sorta... jog and concretize your memory of what the previous passage was about, so you could sorta... use your own brain to make the connections rather than just reading his wording. So, like... I wasn't sure if I upset him, or he witnessed the surreal visual experience I had and it upset him (because it was super vivid, like panic attack vivid, and very emotional), or maybe he knew what I read and that upset him? Maybe I accidentally read out loud and didn't realize? Or... maybe the person I was with upset him... Which, with this much time between me and the dream, seems like the most likely factor... But, either way, he got upset and left. Then... I could sorta... sense through the ceiling and walls in an almost x-ray kinda way that he was like... glaring at me. In a... judgmental, suspicious, skeptical way. In a "I'm on to you..." way. In a witch-hunty Inquisition kinda way. And that set off a massive panic response that immediately woke me up.

You know what? I reflected on this when I woke up, and it's actually really well put for 4 hours of sleep coming out of a panic attack. <pats self on back> So I'm just gonna transcribe it. Fuck it.

"I felt like I needed to impress him, and like I fucked up... which was embarrassing but passed quickly... but that turned into... genuine concern that I was in danger. Like lynching kinda danger, mob violence danger. And that's because I witnessed that last night. And the chick who was being bullied? She was like me. This crowd? These streamers? I keep gravitating towards confident bullies. Andrew Santino types. They're very talented, but their skill is a coping mechanism developed through trauma and conflict. Unprocessed trauma, typically. Because the coping mechanism is their greatest gift, and really their whole life and identity are built on it. I gravitate towards that talent. Being this aware of how these people think (because I was one of them) and how much influence they have, how followers will blindly obey them and they have thousands, made me scared of... as that guy so poetically said in my Twitch chat "(being) thrown in a river with a mill stone tied to (me)." For learning, and exploring ideas that they may consider heretical. But, more specifically, sharing them and being associated with them."

So... you can imagine how hard writing a journal entry like this can be sometimes. It feels really serious and risky, and really silly at the same time. It's not like the context I'm referring to is even... heretical, really... if anything it's trying to prove the Bible's validity! But... I've just seen a lot of dark shit in my study of humanity. A lot of dark, ignorant, zealous things that people do. And seeing that mob mentality last night? It just brought me back to that same old familiar fear. And that shit sticks, and can be hard to shake.

I'm getting really tired, so I want to kinda wrap up, so let me get to the crux of all of this.

Besides the obvious, this journal and this post, why would I be so anxious about sharing my personal beliefs publicly? 1). Family-induced trauma, let's just get that out of the way, so that explains the life-shattering severity. But the focus - I made my desire path project public today. I posted it. It was my only goal for the day. And I did it.

I put it on YouTube. It currently has 3 views and no one has watched it all the way through. I fucking hate analytics and I don't want to watch them anymore. So fucking stupid, as though you have any control over whether people give a fuck about your work. Yikes.

Then, I went into this whole pros and cons list of posting the full project on Instagram. Insta won't let you link shit, and I wanted to keep my videos all on YT because... habit, I guess? Maybe because my Rimworld series is still over there and I was hoping someone might actually give a fuck about that again someday. But after a long time going over it, I decided instead of trying to direct people to go to my profile, then go to my YT link... fuck that. I'm just going to post it there in full, too. And I did. And the grand reception? I got 2 likes. And a comment from my former "best friend", my former goddaughter's mother. And I do appreciate the sentiment. It's just been hard to process those memories.

I always wanted to be a dad. And in my 20's, I got to be her nanny for most of the week when she was around 1 year old. I was working nights and inverting my sleep schedule to drive up an hour each way to watch her during the week. I still have a picture from when I got there one day and comedically, melodramatically collapsed onto the couch in exhaustion and actually fell asleep with my legs hanging in the air off the couch and shit, right next to my goddaughter who was also passed out. And she fired me. Because I didn't "take her outside enough", which she never instructed me to do or taught me how to do. Not to mention the fact that she never paid me once, and I just... didn't ask for money? Because I was trying to be nice? Because both her and her husband were like... not parenting their infant child and just going and working jobs instead, while I watched their kid for them.

Meh, enough about that. See what it does to my head though? Nostalgia is nice... sometimes... but it can be bitter, and if you have an especially dicey past, it can turn sour real quick. So... I do appreciate her sentiment, she left a really kind compliment that seems sincere. And the emotional processing from the past? That's my job, I gotta just remember... that's in the past. I just... I feel bad for my goddaughter, and I miss her. She was the closest thing to a daughter I've ever had, besides my dog and cat, of course. The closest thing to a human daughter I've ever had. And she may not have a great role model for like... healthy emotional regulation. And I worry about her. And I do kinda feel like... that's kinda part of the godfather thing, to step up and like... be there. But at this point? I was envisioning this when I was making dinner. I feel like if I ever even do that, I'm going to be the uncle or aunt figure at the family dinner that they haven't seen in 10 years and pulls the teenage kid aside and goes "you know, I used to change your diapers, do you remember me? No? It's okay, well... if you ever need to like... talk or anything, I'm always here for you." And they'll wince through the awkwardness and then go off and play something on their phone and sigh and mutter "weirdo". But like... is it worse to not even try?

That's a quandary for another day, I just went down that line of thought because I was kinda imaginatively strategizing what might happen if my former friend messaged me. To... prepare myself.

So yeah, lots of ups and downs today. Sleep deprivation, panic, nap, social media strategy, posted the video, made dinner, watched streams, Risk of Rain, journal, and off to bed we go.

Gonna try to sneak a quick shower in before bed, screw it, see if that helps with more relaxing sleep.

To end on a more uplifted note... The Path was one of the more ambitious projects I've taken on. It was very new, super conceptual, very "risky" regarding whether anyone would "get it", also very tedious and demanding. I did the 100 runs in Minecraft, with 3 screenshots per run. I hand-drew each path, twice. I animated each path individually. I composed, played and recorded 12 minutes of original music for 4 guitars, bass and drums. I wrote the script, I recorded the voiceover (on Easter day!). I hand-drew and animated the parts of the voiceover that I couldn't really figure out what to put under, as though they were being drawn on a whiteboard. I shot cinematic B-roll in Minecraft, Google StreetView and a real life National Park. I edited it all together.

And now... it's done.

Fuck crowd reception, this was months in the making. I am goddamn proud of myself.

[cocytuss]

yoooooooooo thank you @ilgattopatata for always being nice and tagging me!!

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people.

LAST…

Drink: ummmmmm soda i think

Phone call: hairdresser

Text message: friendo

Song you listened to: like voluntarily? bc radio was on during our car ride and i can’t remember a single song... my youtube history says Armor by Landon Austin 

Time you cried: Thursday probably... bc new bn.. ha chapter

HAVE YOU…

Dated someone twice: no

Kissed someone and regretted it: noo

Been cheated on: nooo

Lost someone special: yyyyyyyyeah?

Been depressed: yeah

Gotten drunk and thrown up: noooo

Made new friends: thank god yes

Fallen out of love: yea kinda

Laughed until you cried: hmmmmm probably, can’t remember a specific time tho

Found out someone was talking about you: yeah

Met someone who changed you: yeah

Found out who your friends are: yusss

Kissed someone from your Facebook list: what’s a facebook list

Kissed a stranger: nah

Drank hard liquor: oh yeah

Lost glasses/contact lenses: ... yeah when i crashed my bike lol

Turned someone down:  no

Sex on the first date: nooooooooooooooooooo

Broken someone’s heart: nah i don’t think so

Had your heart broken: ahhhhhhhh yeah

Been arrested: nah

Cried when someone died: um yes

Fallen for a friend: nnnnnnnn

Kissed on the first date: nnnnnnnnno

GENERAL

List 3 favorite colors: dark blues and greens, greys (are they colors)

How many Facebook friends do you know in real life: what facebook friends

Do you have any pets: doggie and kittie!!

Do you want to change your name: uhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnot really? maybe? i kinda want something not so feminine

What time did you wake up: 9.50

What were you watching at midnight last night: probably rwby?

Name something you can’t wait for: getting a confirmation i’ll have an apartment in autumn

When was the last time you saw your mom: like an hour ago or something

What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish i had more motivation

What are you listening to right now: Peace Sign by Kenshi Yonezu........ it’s an anime opening

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i don’t think so

Something that is getting on your nerves right now: my skin is being a little bitch why must u be so dry and cracked

Most visited website: hmmmmm tumblr or youtube

Mole/s: uhhhhmmmmm at least six, those are the most apparent ones......... oh wait i have tons on my arms gosh

Mark/s: lots, on arms, legs and stomach

Childhood dream: ...... teaching.... it’s still.... kind of a thing

Do you have a crush on someone: THANK GOD NO

What do you like about yourself: i’m.... quite positive?? :D

Piercings: earssss

Blood type: O

Nickname: i can’t actually remember any

Relationship status: lonelyyyyyyyyyyy single

Zodiac: leo

Pronouns: whatever

Favorite TV show: ................ can i say anime, i’ll say an anime, m o b p s y c h o 100

Tattoos: nnnnnnot yet, atm i really want a small shark tattoo on my wrist

Right or left hand: right

Surgery: when i was like four

Hair dyed in different color: nah

Sport: uhm

Vacation: touring Europe yesss pleaaaaase

Pair of trainers: they’re.... mywear?

Current and all-time best friend name: my kitty’s been there half of my life and knows way more than anyone else, i think that counts, does it, yeah it counts (god i sound lonely)

Eye color: green

Favorite movie: idk moana?

WHICH IS BETTER?

Hugs or kisses: hugs

Lips or eyes: hhhhhh eyesssss

Shorter or taller: eh

Nice arms or stomach: hmmmmmm maybe stomach

Sensitive or loud: ssssssensitive

Hook up or relationship: relationship, you’re stuck with me

Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

Yourself: depends if it’s like a education thing? maybe. real life thing? no

Miracles: ahmmmmm maybe?

Love at first sight: nnnnnnot really

Santa Claus: no

too lazy to tag, my baddddddd, do it if you want

[taromolktea]

𝔰𝔩𝔢𝔢𝔭𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔟𝔢𝔞𝔲𝔱𝔶

Diluc, Albedo, Xiao, Kaeya (all separate) X Reader (they/them pronouns; 2nd person)

word count: 1.1k

content: waking up to pretty boys n their bedheads- bedhead heacanons… bedcanons, if you will okay maybe not; a teeny bit suggestive in Kaeya's part bc it's Kaeya lmao otherwise it's all soft shit

regular tag list (message to add/be removed) 🏷 @todorki-shoto @citrussaurus @danibby

special thank you for feeding us content and inspiring us to make our own uwu 🏷 @stargazer-balladeer @hazelsinteyvat @witch-hazels-musings @ikaroux @xiaophobic @ventilicious @windblooms @dourpeep @scaramouche-bully @jade-parcels @teyvatdreams @luvajax @almondoufu @glazelilyy @xiaowhore @favoniuscodex @genshin-karebear @genshxn @luventi @bumbleklee

｡🌠 🎀 𝓇𝑒𝒷𝓁🌞𝑔𝓈 & 𝒸😍𝓂𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉𝓈 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝒽𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓁𝓎 𝒶𝓅𝓅𝓇𝑒𝒸𝒾𝒶𝓉𝑒𝒹❢ 𝓌𝑒'𝒹 𝓁❤𝓋𝑒 𝓉💙 𝓀𝓃🍑𝓌 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓎🌺𝓊 𝓁🍩𝓋𝑒𝒹 𝒶𝒷💍𝓊𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈❣❣ 🎀 🌠｡

𝕯𝖎𝖑𝖚𝖈

he’s usually pretty good at keeping his hair out of the way but when he comes home from a long night of being Batman, sometimes mans jus wants to go to bed and who could blame him

certainly not you

not when he wakes up with his hair a complete and utter mess of red velvet cowlicks aaaaahh

it’s my personal hc that Diluc actually has like. leftover baby face. which he pretends not to notice about himself but he does

like sure he acts mature it’s the trauma but he’s got the face of an angel baby and when his hair is messy and down, his more boyish charm is brought to light hehe

he wakes up a little grumpy bc of his hair bein all up in his face and he bats at it spluttering like damn he’s not even fully conscious and the day is already doin him a bamboozle

your cooing is the first sweet sound in his ears tho and your fingers carding through his hair are the first sweet touch he feels which is always a win in Diluc’s book

“sleep well?” you ask, your hands cradling his face

“well enough i suppose… *yawn *i always sleep better with you, sweetheart” he replied all groggy, “you… feel nice.” he adds, learning into your palm and his cheek smushes uwu

sleepy Diluc = no filter Diluc and he says the sweetest things

but only for a little while bc his own mushiness wakes him up (plus your giggling) as he awkwardly leans back and coughs, tryna hide in his mane and hope the blush on his cheeks jus blends in w the rest of the red

it does actually but that jus makes it cuter

𝕬𝖑𝖇��𝖉𝖔

definitely the type to jus go to bed still wearing the same clothes he wore earlier because all he knows is alchemy, sleep, repeat

you’ve done a tremendous service in setting up a pretty decent nighttime routine for him which is basically jus making him use all the same products n things you use bc he already likes watching you use them so he doesn’t mind recreating the routine himself, it makes him think of you :) especially bc you’re likely to be asleep by the time he gets back from the lab

on his lazier nights tho, when he jus wants to go to bed and curl up next to you, he wakes up with messy braids that half the time aren’t even tied together in the back anymore and his bangs are pointing to the North Star lmao

many of those who are lucky enough to even see Albedo around Mondstadt will confirm that he is, in fact, beautiful to look at. like art. he’s a masterpiece.

and yknow what he’s still a masterpiece with his bangs pointing to the North Stare nodnod

he doesn’t understand why you’re giggling at him but he smiles when he feels you press a kiss on his exposed forehead ALBEDOEXPOSEDFOREHEADAGENDAALBEDOEXPOSEDFOREHEADAGENDAALBEDOEXPOSEDFOREHEADAGENDA

“is something funny?” he asks, keeping his forehead against yours

“you.”

“me?”

“mhm. your hair’s a mess- it’s cute!”

“i-i see… well, i’m glad you find it so endearing.”

he’s not the self conscious type normally but even Albedo can’t help wanting to look just a tiny bit more presentable for you as his hands start trying to fix his hair, only for his fingers to get intertwined with yours as you stop him

“i’ll do it. i know you secretly want me to every morning.”

“you know me too well, love. or maybe this was all an experiment to get you to do my hair for me forever.”

“hm… maybe.”

𝖃𝖎𝖆𝖔

little meow meow doesn’t pay much attention to his appearance/hair bc yknow. karmic debt n demon slaying keep him pretty occupied

probs can’t even fathom the idea of bedhead bc mans don’t sleep hdfghjfksdfgjdjshjd im in spain but the s is silent

as his s.o, you have the profoundly unique ability to coax him into proper resting habits

it took him awhile before he was able to sleep in your bed w you but it’s become his sanctuary uwu if he feels like treating himself he’ll initiate cuddles

little spoon Xiao 🤝 bedhead Xiao like his short hair sticks up in all sorts of angles btwn getting squished in your arms, the bed n lots of pillows

he wakes up lookin like a wreck but he’s actually the most well rested he’s ever been in 2000 years wow

whines when you scoot away to go to the bathroom all wait where are you going pls don’t leave like he sits up n really contemplates following you bc he’s so attached to your presence, he doesn’t like being w/o you

waits patiently but grabs you n sets you on his lap the moment you’re back

melts under your touch as you run your fingers through his hair, mostly bc you know he loves scalp massages, but also in a halfhearted effort to “fix” his bedhead

“why’d you stop?” he asks quietly n you sigh “i think your bedhead is unfixable, but it’s okay. you’re still my pretty boy.”

“bedhead…? is that some mortal insult?” “what- no?”

you show him his hair with a nearby handheld mirror pushes you on the bed n covers your face with a pillow bc you were giggling at his surprised reaction

“Xiao!” you whine under the pillow “it’s fine! everyone gets bedhead!” “hmph. i’m ashamed you saw me in such a state.” “you’re still as cute as a button, i promise!” “……………………………promise?” “mhm!” “…okay.”

𝕶𝖆𝖊𝖞𝖆

doesn’t get bedhead. he’s Kaeya L’oreal commercial headass Alberich.

teases you for y o u r bedhead bc he’s a menace to society

the 2 of you probs end up w his hair in both yalls mouths

has yelped in the middle of the night from either of you tossing n turning in bed n his hair getting caught as a result

“as much as i love when you pull my hair in bed, this is becoming detrimental to my health” “then perish”

somehow convinces you to help him braid his hair so it doesn’t bother either of you anymore when you’re tryna sleep

ends up making him too powerful bc Kaeya w wavy hair? i am passing away.

maybe if he ever cuts his hair short then it would look messy when he wakes up n he kinda panics like wait this wasn’t part of the deal

has to sit through all your teasing as retribution for all the times he teased you for your bedhead, this is The Way

puts up w it all bc he loves any attention from you he even likes when you pull his hair better when it’s short oop

｡🌠 🎀 𝓇𝑒𝒷𝓁🌞𝑔𝓈 & 𝒸😍𝓂𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉𝓈 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝒽𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓁𝓎 𝒶𝓅𝓅𝓇𝑒𝒸𝒾𝒶𝓉𝑒𝒹❢ 𝓌𝑒'𝒹 𝓁❤𝓋𝑒 𝓉💙 𝓀𝓃🍑𝓌 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓎🌺𝓊 𝓁🍩𝓋𝑒𝒹 𝒶𝒷💍𝓊𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈❣❣ 🎀 🌠｡

[wanderingmind867]

I feel like I don't do much online now. I never leave my dashboard, really. I never seem to find the time to do stuff online. And that's probably not a good thing. It's probably just a sign that I'm getting lazier and lazier in my time online. and i hate it.

I wrote that yesterday, but never posted it. So now i need to try and elaborate more on all of it. So let me explain how lazy I feel: I feel like I never leave my dashboard, I never scroll through blogs or tags, I never do anything besides occasionally reading comics, using ai bots, or staying sedentary and just sticking to my dashboard. And none of those options are super great, especially not when I know I used to actually read more stuff on blogs. I used to read and look up headcanons online often (before my old tablet died and i got this account). I used to read fanfiction occasionally (more often than i do now, at least). There's a lot of stuff i feel like i don't do as much anymore, and that really bugs me.

[lemme-just-oops]

heeeyy!

May i request Headcanons of Arcana Twilight boys with an s/o whose mbti personality type is ISFP?

Alpheratz: Your personalities may clash sometimes, because he is more on the lazier side. But he does support every thought of yours and listens to everything you say. Might tag along to a few of your ideas, but prefers listening. And he might stop you if he feels like your idea is going to get you into trouble. But that is rare.

Arcturus: He has a feeling for responsibility, and he will care for you until the end of time itself. Whatever you want to do at any given moment, he is ready to tag along and loves how much you experiment with your interests. He might call you a "cool evil scientist" for that, because everyone loves the villains. You will always have him to rely on, if you need support for your newest hobby. Whether it is financial aid or motivational speech.

Pollux: Everyone agreed that you two should not be left alone. His bad luck with your skill to explore is bound to cause a lot of disasters, and how right they were. One of you needs to develope a few more cells for common sense before you two really are alone. But he is drawn to your need to explore, and whenever he is feeling down, looking at you is all he needs before exploding like a firework.

Sirius: Introverted and still he feels like you should be amongst people. He notices how much you bloom when left to yourself, and even more when you get to talk about the things you love. It fills him with a joy he cannot explain. He sometimes gets curious about how much effort you put into your works, so he casually mentions those topics to see if you'll get a hobby with them. His favorite subject is flowers for this case, because it is a long commitment.

Spica: When your sovial battery is drained, he is the first to notice and he will ask you if you prefer being alone. His understanding of you might be bad sometimes, but he will learn when you are uncomfortable quickly and will pay attention to what cheers you up. The problem seems to be that one time, you are cheered up by being given a piece of chocolate, and another time you want to have time for yourself and he never knows what you really need. When you begin to consider a new hobby, he will frown and ask if you didn't just start doing another thing. As long as you have fun, he does not consider it a waste of money or time though.

Vega: If anyone can keep your impulses in check, it is him. And he still manages to sound supportive. Because he reminds you to not charge into your newest interest and to read up on it first. He will ask to come over when you start a new project, because he likes spending time with you and to see how hard you work on making your visions come true. You may not realize it, but when you get lost in thoughts, you have a funny expression. And he will take sneaky pictures of you, because he is proud of you.

[littlewitty]

Bitten

Ship: Leonardo x MC

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: Description of blood

I just tagged the people who seemed interested in the story idea.

@entidy13 @niphredil-14 @kisara-16 @lead-ruby-red​ 

It was beautiful in summer. The trees would gently sway in the calming breeze. Nurturing the greenery in his luscious rays, the sun would burn. Lilies, roses, sunflowers and marigolds would all proudly spread their petals out, basking in sultry-filled confidence.

“This is nice,” I hummed into his chest. He was refreshing. One thing I adored and sometimes took advantage of was how vampires were naturally cooler-blooded compared to humans. That meant that leaning on his chest would leave a pleasant burn of tranquil freedom from summer’s passionate heat.

Leonardo’s room was a gratifying wash of warm amber. The sun intruded from the ajar window. The cobwebs were more apparent than ever. I abhorred them but he would only chuckle and say to ‘let them live their lives’. Time-forgotten books scattered. All of them were open on specific pages, held in place with random objects found in the moment: a coffee cup, paper weight (that one made sense), an old lighter and a sleeping Lumiere.

“I guess so.” Leonardo stiffly replied. His eyes reflected something different, as of recent. Ever since I was turned in fact. He seemed further away - in his own world. Perhaps it was because I had abandoned the gift of humanity, turning into the very creature he least preferred. Or maybe the summer heat made him lazier and miss Italy. His body was always raspingly tense; he was on the cusp of rupture. He would second-guess himself around me. I could see it.

“...Cara, you’re a bit close,” he seethed before covering himself up, “Are you trying to initiate something?” He posed. His painfully forced smirk grated itself through his teeth. Overall, he seemed grey and sickly - skin like worn down leather.

“Hey, you can talk to me… come o-”

“Cara, I’m fine.” He panted. The knife-edged tone left no space for questioning and soon my head was perched against his chest, yet again. His breathing had definitely changed. It had once been shallow. I was sure of it. What once had been a peaceful silence had degraded to subtle attempts of panting. Was he ill? Could he even get ill? Maybe thirst?

Now I knew what it was like to be thirsty. I knew of the agony that the residents had to go through. I knew what he went through everyday in our relationship when I was human. Your brain contaminated your morals. Humans turned into blood banks. In your sight, all you can see is their throbbing, pulsating veins carrying their rich, precious life-line. Like swallowing cement, your throat cramps and tenses, contracting around you.

Pushing off my arms, I united his glowing orbs with mine. He desperately tried to avoid all eye contact. He probably would have pushed me off him if he could. Through his separated lips, the sharpness of his fangs protruded. 

“Cara Mia, you should leave.” He hissed, like I would have listened. My hand gradually crawled from the silky, cotton sheets to his slick cheek. Guiding his vision to me. I tenderly caressed his jaw. He was aware I knew. The sorry expression that signed itself on his features proved that.

“Shh, you don’t have to say anything.” I hushed. He knew I was a vampire. Yet, he still had this internalised phobia of biting me.

“C-Cara….I-” He barely ushered, losing his resolve until he gave up. One final reassuring smile to say ‘I know and I forgive you’ was all his instincts needed to take over. I was roughly pinned down. Eyes filled with self-betrayal and soon-to-be regret. Right hand enmeshed in my hair, dividing my neck and head. Left hand on the back of my right thigh, lifting my knee up in between his own. He kneeled over me. Burying his face into my neck as much as he could, he nipped. Asking permission maybe? He was going to feel so guilty. The only pacifier I could think of was entangling every limb I had around him. ‘It’s safer in my arms, closer to me heart and soul.’

“Ah! Gentle Leonardo, p-please..” Fangs deeply nested in my neck, he didn’t want to neither stop nor pull away. I knew, now. Instinct was everything. It ran our lives. If you needed blood, you were going to kill for it.

Glorified, gory ecstasy was tempered through my body. Hot pleasure - a comforting warm -  a rush of anticipation filled adrenaline with tainting spice boasting the feeling. Soft fatigue, humble and descended you down like falling into a heavy sleep. My darkest, deepest desires ran wild. He engorged himself lightly. Sucking and lapping at my neck, tending to it by licking anything he could get. Flailing limp, he loosened his grasp on my figure. Whether he was personally fulfilled or not, his bloodlust was more than sated.

“You can have more, I feel fine.” 

“No, Cara, I can’t.” He exhaled. There was a sleepy, grainy tinge to his voice. Leonardo wouldn’t admit it but he would have found a preserving delight from that.

“Look at me.” I demanded.

“Heh, you’ve been so demanding since your rebirth,” he lifted his head and, even though only slightly, smiled. His whole face had more colour and his skin seemed softer and more delicate. A guilty rose-red tint pasted itself onto his cheeks. Endearingly, he reached up and smoothed my hair out. It definitely needed it. It was odd how much stinging friction my locks had against his hand. That coaxed a laugh out of us. A lovely, peaceful quiet laid itself between us. No words were said, no words were needed. His lips were pale, perhaps that was due to the red stain on the inside of them. In his smile, he bared his, currently, pink teeth and his deeply rouge-dyed mouth. Some smudges around his lips here and there, droplets of blood in the corner of his lips, comfortably resting. But his bloodied tongue soon made quick work of them.

Maybe the vampire in me detecting blood or it could have been the lover seeing him for who he truly is, perhaps a mixture, but he looked more handsome than ever.

“Do I look good Cara Mia? Is that why you’re smiling and stari- hey! Don’t stop,” he pulled me nose-to-nose with him, “It was cute.” A sweet kiss to the tip of my nose and we were back snuggling. Although, this time, reversed-roles. Leonardo’s head rested happily against my breast as I began to stroke his hair softly. He was the most relaxed I had ever seen. 

“I’m going to have to learn a completely different side to you, aren’t I Leonardo?” He shifted, meeting my eyes. “Your vampire side.” 

[whenimaunicorn]

Training Exercise

The Mandalorian x female Reader

Summary: The Mandalorian is testing you. Again. This time you hit him with a strategy he doesn’t expect, and he comes back with an equally unexpected response.

Content Tags: Explicit, roleplay, dom/sub vibes, dirty talk, bondage, armor kink (I didn’t think I meant to do that but damn if it isn’t all over this fic), slight gunplay, slight breathplay, rough sex

Cold metal cuffs slam around your wrists, the sound of the locking mechanism a loud, ominous snick.

“What the fuck, Mando?” you sputter, dropping your spoon into the bowl in front of you.

“How would you get out of this?”

Stars. Another test. You push down your rising irritation with a deep inhale, sitting up straight and letting your imprisoned forearms rest on the edge of the table down in the hold of the Razor Crest. “So I’ve been captured?” you ask, probing for the parameters of the exercise he has in mind.

“Yes.” He stands a few feet away from you, leaning against the bulkhead, settling in to observe. “Now you’re in a holding cell. One guard.”

You smirk at him. “You’re the guard?”

His helmet inclines a few inches. “What’s your play?”

The question is delivered evenly, soft and simple, with only the tiniest note of challenge. He still doesn’t believe you can handle yourself as well as you say you can. The reminder gets your hackles up. “I’m not really in the mood for this.”

“You think I care if you’re in the mood?” The modulator does little to smooth the harshness with which he barks the statement.

You try not to flinch. Getting into his role already; at least, you try to tell yourself that’s all his change in tone means. Plus, it’s kind of hot when he yells at you. Not that you’d let him know that.

You sigh, and prop your elbows up on the table, examining the cuffs. They are a solid piece, two inches thick in a figure eight shape with a seam in the clasp so flush that it’s almost invisible. There’s an interface on it above your wrists, placed where your own fingers couldn’t possibly reach but would be convenient to your captors. You know enough about this model to know there’s a way to hack the lock, but not enough to actually be able to do it.

You look over at the Mandalorian. He’s facing you squarely now, thumbs resting in his utility belt, the helmet’s eye slit angled like he’s watching you closely. He doesn’t move a muscle, just waiting to see what you’ll do.

You do your best to ignore the tingling feeling his intimidation sends washing through your body. You feel the weight of his gaze like the heat of a sun against the cheek and shoulder that are angled toward him as you look back down at the cuff around your wrists.

What’s your play? he had asked. You arch your back a little more, giving the Mandalorian a better view of your body. You’ve got tricks he can’t teach you, and your irritation has turned into an overwhelming urge to rub that in, now. You sit poised like a pin-up girl as you pick up the spoon from your abandoned meal and stick it backwards into your mouth, then use the chisel-shaped back end of it to probe clumsily at the locking mechanism.

Mando shifts in the corner of your vision, moving just a little bit closer. “You know I can see you, right?” The edge of derision in his voice only spurs you on.

You look up at him, shifting the spoon in your mouth so he has to watch your pink tongue lick out along the edge of it. His upper body pulls back with a start. “I know.” You smile lasciviously around the stick of metal. “If I was alone with one guard, I’d convince him to step closer to me.”

The lower edge of his helmet drops in acknowledgement, and then his blaster clears its holster, in his hand and pointed straight at you faster than you can blink. “Cut that out. Drop the spoon.”

You turn in your chair, knees spread just a little immodestly, so the bottom edge of your tunic creates an intriguing little darkness between your legs for your “guard” to ponder. It’s hard to decide if the man behind the helmet is taking the bait, but you’re going to carry on your demonstration as best you can. You hold the spoon between your teeth and then relax your jaw, turning your lips into a pouty little ‘o’ as the spoon falls straight down into your lap. You suck in a big breath that makes your breasts swell as you look down at it, nestled between your thighs. “Come and get it.”

The Mandalorian seems to hesitate. “Is this really your best strategy?”

“You’d be surprised how often it works.”

His visor is angled just a little too low for you to think he’s looking at your face. He could, of course, take the exercise in any direction that he wants. He could play a guard that’s smarter than his libido right now, or one that doesn’t find you attractive at all. So maybe it means something when he chooses to relax his grip on the blaster, and steps closer, playing along. “It’s no use trying to escape,” he intones, resuming the game as he looms over you, blaster still pointed at your head, though at a lazier angle.

It shouldn’t be as hot is it, to stare up at the enigmatic Mandalorian warrior from your helpless position like this. Though the warm, prickling feeling that spreads through your lower body only makes the game easier. You form your lips into a little pout. “I’ve got to do something to pass the time.” You extend one foot, ankle making contact with the inside of his knee, then slide it up between his legs, past the defense of the metal plates on his thighs. You stare at his eye slit the whole time, tongue peeking out to play at the bottom of your teeth. “You want to put something else in my mouth?”

You feel him flinch. But to his credit, he leans into his discomfort, and into your personal space. “You’d like that.” His words come out in that flat, measured way he has, but the underlying tone is somewhere between brusque and incredulous.

You’re not sure if you’re freaking him out or turning him on, but a heady rush of excitement propels you forward. You give him a slow, sultry shrug as you stare up at him. “Maybe I’ve got a thing for being tied up.” You rock your ankle back and forth against his inner thigh.

The Mandalorian stares down at you, maddeningly still. His body language only shifts when he finally speaks. “Did I mention the guard is a Gamorrean? A particularly ugly one.”

He’s teasing you. You can just imagine a shit-eating grin extending behind his beskar mask. You reach your cuffed arms up, refusing to back down. “Then I’d be sure to stroke a finger down his tusk.” His helmet is cold under your fingertip as you dare to mime the action, sliding your touch down the groove of his iron cheek.

The blaster pointed vaguely at your temple never wavers. You’re close enough now to see that it’s not currently armed, though that information does little to dampen the chill of having a weapon aimed at your head, in a hand that has never hesitated to kill. Mando leans in and presses his other hand between your legs, retrieving the spoon. He takes his time about it, just as a big ugly half-seduced guard would do, digging his fingers unnecessarily into your soft thighs and dragging his knuckles against the sensitive spot between.

Your breath catches. You had been bluffing; you wouldn’t actually enjoy this if he had been a real guard of any species, but when Mando is the one groping between your legs you can’t help but spread them a little wider.

His head is only inches from yours. You stare into the eye slit of his helmet, knowing that somewhere behind there he’s staring right back at you. The shape of the beskar knows only one emotion: menace. You have no fucking idea what expression lies behind the mask.

His knuckle rolls again, right over your clit, making hot arousal bloom so hard and fast that your muscles turn to jelly.

His helmet tilts, and he speaks in his quiet voice again. “You’re not making your move now?”

It takes a second for your brain to catch up. Mando assumed you were luring the guard inside your reach so you could whip out some kind of flashy combat skills and disable him. Of course he did. That’s what he would do.

Evidently, you take too long to respond. He removes your opportunity to act. “Get up!” The Mandalorian grabs at the cuff around your wrists, yanking you to your feet. He holsters the blaster as he crowds your body, backing you up into the wall. Cold beskar presses between your thighs, making sure your legs stay open as you slam back against the bulkhead.

You resist a little on instinct, your mind now torn between winning the game and just enjoying the feeling of his body against yours. He overpowers you easily, forcing your hands up over your head. There’s a clicking sound, and then both of Mando’s gloved palms are running down your arms, though they’re still locked in place. He’s magnetized the wrist cuff to the bulkhead. Fuck. You didn’t know it could do that.

His beskar face looms just inches above your own. His grip doesn’t flinch as his hands run down from your arms to your flanks, feeling along your ribs in a touch that’s more sexually charged than you’d thought him capable of. “You’ve chosen a strategy that can get you in over your head, fast.” His voice sounds a little tight behind the modulator. His hands slide down to grip your waist. “Would you really let it get this far?” You can hear him breathing now, fast and hard. His fingers knead at the tops of your hips. “Dirty yourself, letting a filthy guard touch you this way?” There’s a hint of a whine under his accusatory tone, and you start to think the Mandalorian might be even more turned on by this game than you are.

You don’t answer, not sure what to say that wouldn’t ruin whatever’s starting to happen. Mando’s hands travel up your body, thumbs daring to skim underneath your breasts.

“No play yet?” he challenges, voice sounding a little lower, a little rougher. “Still not ready to make your move? This is only going to get worse for you.” His palms skim over your tits, but he seems to be holding himself back, barely making contact. “Better do something before he starts taking off your clothes.”

Absolutely you want him to start taking off your clothes. But this is just a training exercise, isn’t it? You’ll probably just make things awkward if you delay any longer, sitting here enjoying an excuse to get groped by the Mandalorian. Time to make your next play. “Okay big boy,” you purr, barely keeping a straight face as you try to imagine seducing a giant pig-man, “let me make you feel really good.” You slide your cheek against Mando’s helmet, dropping your voice into a throaty half-whisper above where his ear would be. “Give me one of my hands free, and I promise you won’t regret it.”

He pulls the pressure of his body off yours, just a little. Considering. You writhe against him, whispering ‘please’ and dragging your knee up the inside of his leg to show him where your hand would want to go. Before you can make contact with your target, Mando reaches up and presses a button on the cuff. “That… that would probably work on a big, dumb guard. I’ll give you that.” His voice sounds a little breathy, but he’s rallying himself. “Let’s see what you can accomplish with only one hand.”

The steel around one of your wrists retreats. The other one remains locked to the wall. “Oh, I can do plenty,” you say, bringing your palm down to the cloth-covered opening between his helmet and pauldron. It’s hard to grope a man wearing full body armor; all you can do is massage at that firm muscle that connects his shoulder and neck, hoping that the pressure feels nice through the canvas-like fabric that covers his skin here.

His fingers flex where they span your waist, a sudden dig that seems involuntary. He can’t be used to even such a blunted touch as this one, you suppose. He turns his gesture into a more obscene caress, sliding down your hips, grinding your pelvis tighter against the beskar thigh thrust between your legs. You don’t have to fake the moan that falls from your throat.

“Definitely a dirty girl,” he says, and squeezes your ass with both hands. Now you’re really not sure if he’s speaking as the guard or himself. His voice has dropped low and the modulator can’t smooth out the pleasure that’s thickening it. “Offering yourself up like this…” His cold helmet presses against your temple as the Mandalorian brings his whole body closer, nestling his head between your cheek and your upraised arm, the one that’s still locked to wall of the ship above your head. He grunts as he digs his fingers into the widest part of your bottom, and you groan. “You like it rough?”

“Yeah,” you moan, not sure if you’re playing your character anymore either, afraid to say anything that might make him stop. You abandon his neck to slide your free hand down past the beskar chestplate, seeking warmth in the space at his flank where something approaching soft and human is accessible to your touch. You can feel him breathing here, fast and deep. His hips writhe, pressing that solid flesh above his lower ribs more firmly into your palm.

“So pliant. So soft.” His tone has gone softer, appreciative. One hand stays on your ass while the other travels up your back, scooping you closer to him, until your chest is flattened by solid metal as he all but dry humps you against the wall.

Your fingers tease at his belt line, searching for entrance. A splash of nerves cools your belly at this point; you’ve never seen the Mandalorian undressed in any way, and you worry how he might react to you trying to get under his clothes. There’s always the chance you’re mis-reading this situation horribly. He’ll stop you if you cross a line, you’re certain, but you want to go slowly enough to make sure the sin is not too egregious.

Mando seems to sense your hesitation, slowing down too. “If you’re thinking about going for my gun,” he says, “you’re telegraphing.”

Apparently, he still thinks you’re thinking about the training exercise. He hasn’t lifted his head from where it’s nestled into your shoulder, however. His hands have slowed but they’re still cupping you.

“Not going for your gun.” Your fingers skim along his lower belly, finding the buckle of his belt.

“No?” Mando breathes.

You squeeze the clasp, releasing it with a click that seems way louder than it should be in the empty galley of the ship. His exhale carries just enough vocalization for the modulator to pick it up, sounding akin to and yet wholly different from the heavy sighs that escape him when you or the child are being frustrating. He gives you no other reaction but that.

You dare to stick one finger down inside his waistband. His heavy shirt is tucked in and so you still haven’t contacted any skin. You can’t even pretend to try to read his face, with the front of his helmet still pressed into the crook of your neck. Your finger tugs at his clothes and his body shifts against you but you can’t tell if he’s pulling away or shifting to give you better access.

You lose your nerve. “And then I would,” you narrate, stopping yourself, “you know…” Your finger points down toward his cock, trying not to think about what it would feel like to scoop your hand over it, wondering if you would find it hard or soft…

He lifts his head, only far enough to stare into your face through that shielded slit in his helmet. After a short, measured silence, he speaks. “Go ahead.”

Somehow you can’t wrap your head around the statement. “Um, what?” You feel your hand curling up, starting to withdraw in an awkward defensive reflex, though one finger is still stuck inside his waistband.

He cocks his head, and you can just feel him taking your measure. His open hands caress up and down your back, and your body responds, curling into the touch. You realize your mouth is hanging open as you continue to meet his impenetrable beskar gaze.

“Don’t you want to see if your plan is going to work? I know I do.”

Well, fuck. You rotate your wrist and press your whole palm into his lower belly, fingers pointing down. You can actually feel his warmth here, and the way his breathing speeds up as you slide your hand lower against him. When your fingertips reach bare skin he moans. It sounds like he tried to keep it in but it just slipped out anyway. He clutches you closer to him again as you skim down along course hairs and hot skin.

What is happening here? Does he really want you to wrap your fingers around his cock, like you’re so close to doing right now? His whole body is tense, you realize, and his fingers are digging into your skin almost painfully.

You slow your approach, not wanting him to snap under that tension. Or for him to snap you. You scratch your fingertips softly into the trail of hairs you feel leading you toward your prize.

“Fuck,” he groans, and pushes his whole body against you, all but crushing you against the bulkhead.

Now you can’t move your hand. But in the midst of all the hard edges of his armor, you can feel one thing poking into you that definitely isn’t beskar.

So the Mandalorian does want you. His helmet presses into the crook of your neck; you just know that if it weren’t in the way he’d be mouthing open kisses all over your throat. He keeps your hand trapped between the press of your bodies, the other still cuffed up to the wall, while his roam freely all over you. This time when he reaches your breasts he lets himself feel, scooping over your pillowy flesh and trapping a nipple between his thumb and the side of his hand.

The pressure is just short of pain and you mewl at the pleasure and desire it sends blooming up through your core. Your reaction encourages him and he tears at the opening in the front of your tunic, struggling to get at your bare flesh.

The savagery pulls a gasp from your throat, and that sound makes him pause. “I said this strategy was a dangerous game.” His helmet shifts so he can get a better look at your face. “Do you want to keep going?”

You nod. “I like this game.”

His real voice, not the aggressive character, slides out soft and even from the modulator. “I like it too.”

You press your hand harder, down where it’s trapped between your bellies, tickling your fingers toward his root. “Then let’s keep playing.”

The groan that reaches your ears through his modulator might be the most delicious sound you’ve ever heard, as he changes the angle of his hips and gives you room to reach him. Well, it was the most delicious sound, until you hear the next one to come out of his mouth, even deeper, even longer, as you find his thick shaft and curl your fingers eagerly around it.

His length had been stuck a little down one pant leg. He gives a pleasured hiss as you free him from the confinement, scooping him in your palm to point straight up between your bodies. One of his hands leaves your waist just so he can hold himself up against the wall; you must have made him go a little weak in the knees. You purr a little “mmm” in the back of your throat in satisfaction, to see the Mandalorian in such a state. His cock is thick and velvety smooth and already twitching in your palm as you give him a few slow, steady pumps.

His noise of pleasure is almost a wail, and without warning he slams a palm into the center of your chest, pushing you back into the bulkhead again. His fingers slide up to bridge your throat, exerting just enough pressure to set warning bells off in your head, and to slow your hand.

“Fu-uck,” is all he says by way of explaining himself. Then he uses both hands to pull your tunic up your body, exposing everything above your leggings to the cool air jetting from the ship’s recyclers all at once. “Off,” he growls as he tugs the fabric against your armpits, forcing you to let go of his glorious cock and let him pull the tunic off over your arm and head.

With your left arm still cuffed to the wall, the shirt has to just kind of hang there on one shoulder, but Mando has succeeded in freeing the soft flesh of your neck, your chest, and your belly. He gazes down at you for an endless moment, then begins to assault everything he has exposed with hands covered in gloves and arms coated in steel.

You know that his gloves are augmented with some kind of sensors that transmit more information than the leather look of them would imply. You wonder what your pebbled nipples and rarely-bared skin feel like to him. He certainly has the touch of someone with perfect sensitivity as he sculpts and squeezes you; he plays with your nipples and adores the rest of your flesh until you’re panting for him.

You shove your hand back into his pants. You have to make him feel how he’s making you feel, to return this sweet torture. He moans again, and thrusts himself into your hand.

You strain against the wrist that’s cuffed to the wall. If only—of course. The plan hits you all at once. While you’re dying to explore these unexpected sexytimes with Mando, your pride is still itching at you to try and win the game.

“I-I want you, babe,” you say, making the sound of the words bottom out in your throat. “Want you in my mouth.” You squeeze him from root to tip and try to drop down in front of him, dangling off the cuff like you’ve lost all control. “Please let me—let me get on my knees for you.”

Mando curses through his teeth and presses the button to release your wrist without even hesitating. As your arm falls you lean into him, feigning like you’re going to do just as you said. Then you square your stance and twist, shoving him toward the wall, using your grip on his cock like a handle. In a real fight you would have hurt him bad right there, but this is just practice, just training. Just an exercise. You don’t squeeze him hard enough to do any damage.

And as soon as you’ve twisted his momentum to the side, you’re pushing off the wall, sprinting for the hatch out of the hold, and sweet, sweet victory.

A hand like iron clamps onto your shoulder; something catches your leg, and then you’re falling, with a heavy body riding you down. You twist into the fall so it’s not ugly, absorbing the impact with thigh and forearms. Then the Mandalorian is pressing your bare chest into the decking.

“Don’t think you got away with anything, there,” he says as he climbs more firmly on top of you. You turn your head to see his beskar face looming near your cheek. “I knew what you were up to.”

“Then why did it work?”

“I just wanted to feel you run.” He presses his body over yours, armor plates grinding into your thighs and back, shoving your hips flat against the deck too so you have no leverage to try and escape. “Now. What were you saying about your mouth?” His hand leaves your shoulder to grab up a section of your hair, tugging tight at the back of your head, forcing your face up toward him. “Ready to make good on that promise?”

You nod, frantically, but as much as you’d love to suck him down, the feeling of his whole body grinding you into the deck is driving you crazy. You curl your ass up against him, with the tiny amount of movement his pressure will allow. You want more than anything else for him to just fuck you through the floor right here.

Mando’s hand runs down your naked side, pushing at the waistband of your leggings when he reaches them. “Or maybe I’ll just—”

“Yes!” you cry, “oh please,” arching your back, scrambling to help him get your clothes out of the way.

His answering growl roars wild and alien through the modulator right beside your ear. You take more of his weight as his chest presses against your upper body so he can use both hands to clear all the barriers  below your waists. You can choose to help him with your hands too, or you can hold yourself up with your forearms so you have room to actually breathe under his crushing weight.

You choose to sacrifice your breath. Your bare chest crushes into the cold decking as you shove your leggings down past your ass, and spit into your fingers so you can lubricate his path. That thick cock of his might have a hard time getting in, in a position like this, but it’s going to be so worth it.

Cool beskar gauntlets slide against your lower back and ass as Mando’s hands work at his own trousers in the small space between your bodies. His panting breath crackles through the modulator above your ear, sounding even louder since you can barely suck a breath in yourself under his weight. He moans when he notices you stroking your own slit, readying the way for him. You’ve worked your hand under one hip so you can reach yourself even as he’s crushing you. You’re already wetter than you expected, but you make sure to drag that moisture all over your sensitive folds.

As soon as he’s gotten himself free you feel his fat head probing at you. Some of the pressure comes off your chest as he slams his other hand against the deck near your face, holding himself up so he has a little more control. You think at first that he’s lining himself up, as Mando swirls himself around your entrance, and so you arch your back, present your hips as much as you can for him. As he keeps moving you realize he’s playing; savoring, scooping that moisture all over his tip before finally deciding to press inside.

The stretch is intense, and it just keeps coming. Now you have another reason not to be able to breathe. The pleasure in that invasion is white-hot and overwhelming, and he feels impossibly long, impossibly deep as he flattens you into the floor like this. You relax everything and focus on just taking it, on taking him.

Finally, finally, the timeless plunge reaches its end, as his hips come to rest against your bottom. He stays there, arms scooping around your shoulders, helmet pressed against your cheek, and lets out a long, shuddering exhale. Then he starts pumping. Long, measured, relentless thrusts drill into you, each one as deep and overwhelming as the first. The pleasure rips through you like a wildfire, melting and invigorating your limbs both at once.

And in this position you don’t have to do anything. Just lay there and take it, let Mando claim you, press further and further until you feel like your entire being is nothing but the cunt he’s hammering into, a vessel for pleasure as he grunts and curses above you, losing himself just the same in the meeting of your bodies.

Your pleasure builds, clamoring for release. You realize one of your hands is still trapped under your body, and with the small movement your current state will allow you to make, you get your finger onto your clit.

It doesn’t take much, just the slightest targeted pressure, to harness the wild ecstasy that’s been building in your core. Your muscles lock, your body clamps, and all that needy pleasure spirals so intense that you hear a rushing in your ears.

“Oh, fuck, are you coming?” Mando groans, his modulated voice so close and yet a million miles away. He presses deeper, more eagerly at the very idea, and that pushes you right over the edge. You wail like an animal and curl up under him, except you can’t, the floor’s too solid, he’s too solid, and you cum with every muscle in your body straining against a steel prison that keeps you flat and helpless.

He rides you through it all, pumping faster, harder, grunting with the effort and making your orgasm feel like it’s never going to end under the relentless way he fucks you. Even when the crest passes and your body goes limp, he keeps going, driving himself like your lives depend on it, as relentless as you’ve seen him in battle. Tears form in your eyes as his cock won’t let your body come down. You feel everything inside you tensing up for another orgasm by the time his breathing goes ragged and you know he’s close too.

When the Mandalorian comes he finally lets it all go, burying himself in you to the hilt and wailing with a sound so raw it makes your heart crack and your body clench around him. Your second orgasm makes the tears fall from your eyes; all your limbs collapse together as your cunt milks every last drop of his release out of him.

The first one to move after the rush fades is him; his helmet comes into view from where you lay with your cheek pressed against the deck. His leather-tipped finger soaks up the tear that was threatening to fall over the bridge of your nose. “Was—” his voice is thick and he has to clear his throat before he can continue, “—was I too rough?”

You make a reassuring sound, the closest you can get to words for a moment. You shake your head, just a little. “Fuck. No. Loved that.”

You wonder if that makes him smile behind the mask. Your voice came out raspy, made you both conscious of the fact that most of the weight of a seasoned warrior, plus a hell of a lot of solid beskar, still lies squarely on top of you. While the sensation was a turn-on, you still make a little sound of relief when he rolls off you, laying on his back by your side.

His helmeted head rolls to face you. You’re sure you look like a hot mess, laying there mostly naked, ass up, with your face in the deck, but you feel amazing. Mando reaches up one gloved hand and presses two fingertips lightly to your lips. It feels like a kiss, so you purse your lips and kiss back, keeping your eyes locked on his eye slit. He lifts his hand to your temple, brushing his fingers through your mussed hair.

“I guess you showed me.”

It takes you a second to realize he’s referring to the training exercise. “I thought you said it didn’t work on you.”

His helmet inclines. “It worked.”

You smile. Maybe you preen, just a little. “Satisfied, then, that I can handle myself?”

“Definitely not.”

He just lays there while you pout at him, waiting for him to elaborate. He lifts his arm, beckoning you to peel yourself off the floor and come cuddle against him. You pull your tunic back on before you comply; bare skin against beskar doesn’t sound quite as appealing now that the heat of passion has fled.

You cuddle into the crook of his arm, finding a decent enough pillow on the inside of his bicep. Only once he’s got you curled against him to his liking, does he explain himself. “You are not going to be fucking your way out of trouble while you’re with me,” he says matter-of-factly. “I forbid it.”

You try not to let him feel you shiver at what his tone does to you. “Is that so.”

“It is.”

“If you don’t respect my skills—”

“I do,” he cuts you off. “But they’re only for me, now.” His body shifts where you’re curled against him, his hand clutching against your back. “We can play this game again, as often as you like, but..” he reaches over and slaps your ass hard enough to sting, “now I’ve also got to start teaching you how to actually fight.”

My Mando Smut Masterlist

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[wayv2728]

Imagine Lucas having his s/o tag along with him to the gym - especially if they're not fitness level 10/10 😄 I can see him showing them easy exercises so they don't feel left out of the session and saying 'wahh you're so good at this' even though they did a measly 10 squats lol. I see him freaking out and gently scolding them of they try to fiddle with heavy weights or other machines but then trying to show off too 🤭

I could also see him having maybe a lazier s/o who would tag along at the gym so they could go to the coffee shop next door and get a nice drink while their boyfriend works out 😩 you buy him a treat like a cookie or brownie for when he’s done tho & it’s his favorite thing. Even if you’re not fond of working out I easily see him loving that even in your differences, things work out for you.

[norgestan]

crisana, norandro, jorgeva and amira x dani

ha, anon just wanted all the canon couples. fair enough!

CRISANA:

see, skam s3 is my favorite season of all time, but it has never been because of the love story. isak's story hits in a lot of sensitive places for me, and isak was also the first main character i encountered that was my age. i have a really special connection to him for that reason. on the other hand... i enjoy evak for what it is, but i never saw a future for their relationship after the season ended. in a lot of ways, isak's season ended just as their relationship started, a trope that i've never liked because how am i supposed to think that they will last? how am i supposed to know how they will work as a couple? it's just, ugh.

i had similar thoughts about crisana when i watched s2, except that the love confession scene and cris as a character made it even harder to get into the couple. moreover, the way people brush other characters' roles and presence on other seasons because they're so caught up on cris and joana is like... blegh. like it makes me forget that they're actually a well-written couple at times. because imo, og they never did anything really interesting with evak once they got together. but eskam........ oh, dear eskam.

there's something so beautiful about thinking of all the girls, the teenagers that will grow up watching a relationship like theirs on popular media. their entire subplot (??? can i even call it that) in s4 is proof of how GREAT of a relationship they turned out to be. like, i just wanna SCREAM thinking about it because, how is it possible that eskam saw evak and said "we're gonna make this SO good and we'll take our time and then tie it up in an incredibly satisfying and emotional way" and then did exactly that!!!!!! the way they respect each other, communicate, genuinely try to get to each other without dumb miscommunication. the way they understand each other and lift each other up! the way joana knew how to recognize cris' intelligence when everyone was telling her she's dumb, the way cris knows how to make joana feel worth it and show her affection in such a selfless, loving way. their last scene on joana's pov in s4 was the first time i cried during that season, just because it was all wrapped up so beautifully. because eskam understood that although the appeal of their relationship comes from the soulmate status of every evak couple, they had to also put in serious work to make it all work and they also managed to get that across with grounded drama, and also a hopeful message for people struggling with mental disorders. like AAAAAAAAAAAAA god what a great couple they are. maybe i'm too much of an eskam bootlicker but they're genuinely the best evak there is. i'll die on this hill. i'm so happy young wlw get to watch them as a guideline of what they should expect of a relationship.

NORANDRO: already done :)

JORGEVA:

i mean... it's eskam's fault, without a doubt. i love what eskam did with them in s1: the change of pacing, the way they created jorge, the little story changes to make it more nuanced, i think come together in a pretty satisfying way to show a teenage romance with no real support to last for more than a while. i don’t think eskam fully got the gist of what jonas was supposed to be, but it’s for the better if we think of the message in season 1. for that reason, jorge is like the one jonas who i really wouldn’t mind coming back to his eva. so why don’t i like them?

the answer is simply that i don’t enjoy their trope and i don’t think eskam made a real case of eva and jorge getting back together. they work well as friends, sure, and it’s clear as day that jorge still has feelings for eva, sure. but like, what tells me that they’re just ready to go all in again? eva goes through a really great arc and i would definitely agree she’s in a good place to be in a relationship again, but we know NOTHING about jorge’s journey. he’s just, silently pining on eva and that’s it. i do think it’s sweet and the hints of their lost romance throughout the show are wholesome, but there’s just nothing more to it. jorge and eva work AMAZINGLY as friends! i don’t see why they should push a romantic endgame for them. in my head, eva kissing jorge at that party was just a mesh of the excitement of a new era, the nostalgia of ending highschool, the high of being on this place with someone she really cares about, stuff like that, but it just ends there, and it’s great that way. nothing about eva’s character really led to her aching to be in a relationship again, and for me it feels right to end things with her being single and surrounded by great friends.

MAYBE if eskam had devoted some time showing us their progress and romantic potential instead of trying to convince us that kasim was a real, compelling character. maybe. lol.

DAMIRA:

(god, i don’t know how long this will be LOL)

i have. so many thought about this fucking pairing. let’s see what we can do LOL. the thing about damira is that i don’t think it’s a pairing that eskam had in mind when they laid out the first two seasons. the little hints of a friendship/childhood crush that happened during cris’ season really got the fandom and they quickly became the most popular non-canon ship in the show, so that’s where i think eskam said “okay, let’s run with this”. but it’s just...... meh. like i can tell that relationships like crisana were carefully crafted (well implemented in nora’s season, greatly wrapped up in amira’s season) but i cannot say the same for dani and amira. it’s almost like virihugo, where they just started giving each other Eyes on the middle of season 3, out of NOWHERE. it just feels forced to me and so i never really felt anything for the couple in question... like, for starters, i think nora and miquel were WAY more shippable than those two, strictly talking about their setup.

if you ever saw any of my posts during s4 then you should know how i actually feel about how they developed their romance (check my anti damira tag for more?) and i don’t wanna go through all those specific points again... but damira is not only an infuriating romance, but also a bad pairing in a narrative setting. like, damira clearly exists to answer amira’s questions about how would the future of a romance with a white guy would be, right? does she get an answer? no she fucking doesn’t, their final clip is like “after all these weeks, we still have no idea so we’re gonna cut things short, go back to our initial dynamic, and wait to see if amira any of us change our minds <3″. so like, even in that sense damira is a HUGE waste of time, and just like everything that happens to amira during her season it has no lasting impacts on her character or her settings.

and personally, i love couples where they’re both equal, and communicate at last, and both make great efforts to change so the relationship can flourish. this is why i offer so much praise to norandro and crisana, where in the first couple both character go through tremendous character growth and work through their problems individually before getting together, and in the second couple they show them clashing and fighting just to display their resolutions and show how willing they are to actually talk to each other and keep their relationship stable. dani and amira, on the other hand.... blegh. eskam wants me to think dani is a knight in shining armor for liking amira but that’s all he ever does. he doesn’t defend her in front of his friends, he doesn’t make efforts to get to know her and her world, he doesn’t communicate his real feelings to her, and the one time he did he humiliated her in public. like, idk, like, even MIQUEL explicitly defended nora when his roommates berated her for not drinking alcohol LOL.

at the end of the day the problem with damira is that it completely misses the point of yousana and its target audience. making yousef a white guy is not necessarily a bad choice if you implement it well (which eskam didn’t do btw), but you have to take into account that sana’s season exists to make a primarily white christian-raised audience relate and stand up for the muslim characters in the show. when the lazier partner of the main couple who makes zero efforts to work on the relationship happens to be white, it just means people will be sympathetic of him, and nor amira - and that’s exactly what happened in the show. people either thought amira was being too harsh by laying conditions for dani before they even began dating and making sure he respected her boundaries, or just wanted all the drama to go away soon so amira could kiss dani by the end of the season. so like, yeah. terrible stuff.

i would’ve liked damira’s impact on the season and amira’s journey a lot more if it had been about a one sided childhood crush from amira’s part. i thought their friendship was charming up to s3, and i simply hate that dani is literally in no way an older brother figure for the girl squad, since it’s a dynamic that’s lacking in the show and it would be a nice way to make dani be some sort of non-creepy eskild for the girl squad (but noooo, his only interactions w the gs are hooking up with eva and dating amira. smh). it would’ve been fun to have amira intimately dealing with those feelings just to learn a lesson by the end of it, at the time that she also falls for her muslim love interest - which is actually the isak/jonas/even dynamic when you think about it, also something that eskam didn’t really do with cris’ season. but also, all of this would mean that eskam had to do the good writing thing for s4, which they kinda forgot to do throughout the entirety of the season so, yeah.