#i feel like i can point out a few things i feel are relevant to understanding the big picture but then don't know how to connect everything
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Well, you asked-
For the record, I selected "too morally ambiguous to give an answer." I've thought really hard about J in the last couple of weeks (largely because my feelings about her after ep. 8 were so goddamn convoluted that I still don't know how I feel about her) and I've come to a couple of conclusions that ultimately end up in feeling... bad, for her. So hear me out:
J is a resigned antagonist.
She did bad shit, was extremely shitty to N, and definitely stood on the wrong side of history. But your honor, I have reason to believe she didn't necessarily want to.
The episode 8 exchange she had with V gave us some insight into her I think, particularly the lines "It tricked you! If I promised you anything, it tricked me too." And also "You know there's no escape, even in DEATH!" So offbthe bat, I assume two things:
1) J was initially under the belief that maybe they'll be returned to earth (assuming she didn't know that Earth was gone), or that they'll be spared if they did their jobs properly. Through prolonged interaction/possible dialogue, she probably began to realize that no, they weren't getting away with this, and she was being lied to/tricked. This leads to the second piece of knowledge:
2) I hesitate to think that J was just *okay* with helping the Solver, and tried to get away from it herself several times. But not following orders (refusing to kill) only hurt her by overheating, it didn't matter where she went on the planet because it could still find her, and even dying - to worker drone or uh. Otherwise - had her waking up right back under it's control, under its command. Finally acknowledging she had no way to run, no way to get away from it, she dropped her reservations and began to display the loyalty we see in her throughout the series.
Now I also have an additional headcanon here, so take this bit with a grain of salt, but in ep. 2, N claims that J "was getting orders from *someone.*" I'm sure at this point we all agree it was the Solver, but I argue that she didn't always know that. Me personally, I think all 3 disassembly drones suffered amnesia when they landed on C9. This has relevance, I promise, because if J was the head honcho and was receiving orders from someone, there's very few people I think she would just Listen To without having proof that they were somehow higher in command than her. The Solver could prove that by hurting her, yes, but we know that its main tactic isn't physical harm, rather manipulation. And with the knowledge that the Solver can impersonate voices to a t, I argue that so long as J was still under a degree of amnesia, the Solver could have been using Tessa's voice in J's head. This way J obeys without question; but eventually she put the pieces together that something was wrong, and yadda yadda yadda, already said this part. I also have a little analysis on J that I'm not quite sure how to reword (sorry bestie I'm cramming to try to finish assignments before my finals next week) but I do have the conversation where I tried to explain myself to my wonderful boyfriend, which I will place here for your consideration:
In conclusion, J was manipulated like the rest of them until she put the pieces together and realized that something wasn't right - but every time she tried to run, she just woke up right back at square one. Silently resigned, she decided to stand with the Solver in hopes of protecting herself. Maybe she got enjoyment out of it, maybe she didn't. I'm still figuring that part out.
Rb and all that jazz
#also not excusing the way she treated N by the way#i understand now why she acted like that but i am in no way saying it is/was okay#i'm still mad at J#but i feel bad for her now as well#idk man
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Thanks to your blog — that I discovered randomly — I got sucked into the whole Mayhem lore. 🥲 I got the general order and gist of the things (especially around the whole mythos that people build over the years) but there is one thing that I can't stop thinking and it just bothers me.
So, we all already know that Varg and Øystein start as friends, good ones at that. Varg admires Øystein meanwhile Øystein thinks they share the same vision music wise, they burn churches together, he defends him from the press (and generally TO ME, it seems like it was Ø doing the heavy lifting and all the work in this friendship but whatever) and so on; until Varg's opinion of him shifted all of a sudden: Øystein became full of flaws, or only flaws at that point, and the tension arises. Many people spoke about how they were kind of fighting for dominance of the BM scene, but really, how much is this a factoid? Yeah Varg can brag alllll he wants about how Øystein was jealous because he was becoming more popular, but to me it's more that Ø was just annoyed by his behaviour, he did not feel threatened of being 'dethroned'; it reads like a fantasy of Varg (that besides, came out of nowhere and all of a sudden in the scene meanwhile Øystein was already a well established personality). I also do not really agree on the stance that Øystein was a megalomaniac, but I'll put that aside.
Varg at a certain point says that he 'listened to a call' where Ø was talking about how he wanted (and would) kill him. Is this even true or pulled out from his ass to justify himself? I only found one source that mentions briefly that he THOUGHT about 'getting to him first' but A) he never really wanted that nor was violent and B) it was a private conversation that got out after his death, and I'm referring to Mortiis.
Either way, it does seem that Øystein was a bit preoccupied when it came to Varg. He wanted him out and most importantly, far from himself. There is also what I'll label as a rumor that Ø was agitated after hearing that one clairvoyant (sprinkle of salt). So why would he EVER open the door to him that night? It certainly was weird and he knew that Varg was dangerous, hence why, among other things, he wanted to put him in jail. And even Varg admits that Øystein was clearly uncomfortable seeing him. Would Varg have killed him even if Øystein never opened that damn door (oh, how I wish!), or would his impulsive anger cool down?
Varg and Øystein started as friends because Varg was looking up to Øystein. I have no doubt that Varg was putting up a mark at first to seem more likeable, to get closer to Øystein and eventually become relevant in the Black Metal scene since back then he was a nobody and Øystein was a well-established personality between their friends. As time progressed, Varg's admiration turned into jealousy and envy since he was an undisclosed egomaniac and wanted to have what his 'mentor' had. Their fight for dominance is not a rumor. It is a fact that led to Øystein's tragic end.
No one can blame Øystein for getting sick of Varg's bullshit and giving him the taste of his own medicine by talking badly about Varg's on his back. I believe their animosity was going back and forth because I think I'm one of the few people who believe that Øystein had a bit of an ego too, because after all he was leading a brand new music scene and he was entitled to his position. I don't necessarily think there is something bad about this because after all he was the one (together with Pelle) who built their own, unique style. Whether he really felt threatened by Vikernes or not, we can't tell for sure.
Varg will use everything in his side of the story to make people believe that he was right all along in what he did and not only that, but he even 'did the right thing' by his delusional, egoistic and envious standards, so, my suggestion is to believe anybody else but Varg. You cannot tell what is real and what is fiction, including the call that he pretends he heard. I would say (with indulgence) that 90% of what he states is pulled straight of his ass. He is a nothing but a pathological liar and that's it.
I believe that Øystein was, to a certain extent, having the thought of Varg doing 'something' against, but when all they ever did was throwing empty threats, how could Øystein be sure that this time Varg means business? He wanted Varg out of his life, that's for certain. Vikernes' actions cause him bad publicity and his shop, Helvete, to close.
Why Øystein opened the door that night, I can only speculate the most plausible answer. It was 3 or 4 o'clock in the morning and he woke up from his sleep, too tired to realize how late it must've been, and answering the door came as an automatic reflex. He didn't know who was waiting on the other side and he was surprised to see Varg there. In retrospect, Øystein would've had the chance to put up a better fight if he wasn't taken by surprise like this, but after all, Varg had a knife on him and this was the surprise element that, if you don't have an equalizer, you've already lost the fight unfortunately.
Varg must've been a madman to drive 5-6 hours in the middle of the night from Bergen to Oslo to kill. I don't think that not having that door open, you would just shrug and be like 'Well, that's it, folks. I'm going home'. No, he would've find a way to get in. It's the adrenaline that brought you there that won't allow you to leave even if you would somehow realize that what you do is gonna cost you a lot of trouble. The impulse is too strong, you can't just walk away simply.
I also wish Øystein never opened that door, but I guess we all wish that.
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an interesting (unpopular? i think?) soukoku opinion i have is i don't think dazai was oblivious to his feelings towards chuuya, like ever. i understand WHY people interpret dazai as having trouble identifying and reckoning with his emotions; i'm not knocking it! there's plenty of evidence to suggest that and also i think it fits with his actions. HOWEVER. for me dazai is the most fun when he's deliberately suppressing and neglecting his own feelings. dazai realizes at the tender age of like 15 that he's at least infatuated with chuuya, and his first instinct is "well how do i compartmentalize that. how do i make sure this doesn't interfere with my plans and our job at the mafia." and then he compromises with his emotions by keeping chuuya close but not allowing himself to seem too affectionate or "trick" chuuya into liking him back. i think this version of dazai is most compelling to me because then the struggle isn't "get blockhead dazai to realize he's in/can love" its "get blockhead dazai to realize he's allowed to indulge in love" which is much more fun, especially when you have seven (or even more, i don't think this mindset would be limited to chuuya) years worth of distancing himself from his own emotions to contend with.
#putting the more negative parts in the tags i think another reason i'm not partial to the “dazai is oblivious to his own feelings” headcanon#is that it sorta implies that dazai isn't self-aware?#which like. he clearly is. i think moments when we (the veiwer) think he isn't self aware is the result of the MEDIA not being self-aware#<- talking about his treatment of akutagawa and other such failures. “don't pity yourself” moment. the whole father thing.#dazai doesn't acknowledge these flaws because the source material doesn't think its a flaw either#but i digress. my point here is that i personally think dazai is so painfully self-aware that it turns into over-rationalizing himself#dazai's emotions to him are just as irrelevant as his physical needs and such like that.#does this make sense? idk#example i'll give: his character growth as he trusts the ada and works less utterly on his own mind#i think dazai is capable of seeing his own trust issues and what not from the very beginning#but it's only after it's been proved to him that him that no total control isn't the most logical option#and in fact trusting his allies CAN work out without pulling every string#that dazai beings to take down (a few) of his walls#its not that dazai doesn't know he has feelings. its that they aren't relevant to him#they cause him grief#fuck up his plans#and (to him) need to be squared away and dismissed as soon as possible#i know that isn't in line with the no longer human novel but WHATEVS#my hcs#bsd#skk#bsd dazai
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I think the best way to describe my feelings about aini is like if you were craving this specific meal from some distant restaurant you haven’t been to in ages and you try to replicate it on your own and it actually tastes decently good but then you get to eat the original again and you’re like “oh god what the hell I’ve been making garbage this whole time why did I think I could beat the original”
#aitsf#ai the somnium files#ai nirvana initiative#aini#aini is a good game i like it a lot. but damn it just does not compare to the first game#i read a critique of the game that pointed out how in an attempt to avoid spoilers for the first game they kinda screwed over#all the characters from the first game by just removing their character development#which yeah i have to agree characters like iris ota and moma literally contributed nothing to aini#and moma in particular was suuuuch an uncomfortable character cuz he was just completely reduced to a tesa fan which. was done very creepy!!#but the big obvious one is date like ighhhh. they couldnt have him be connected properly with mizuki or aiba AT ALL#which is shitty given how those dynamics were the best part of the first game#but yeah his relevance to the plot is weird cuz they also couldnt be bothered to properly write he and ryukis relationship either#or really ryuki at all-#hes just kinda reduced to haha funny sex jokes haha#and naturally thats how hes gonna be remembered by fans who finished aini#like aaaa in general they did a shit job incorporating the old and new characters where only a select few were done okay#and its the frustrating kinda bad cuz its not glaringly obvious until you finish the game and theres just like#this big empty hole it feels like where something important is completely missing#so yeah its like some okay replication of grandmas chicken that you can enjoy#but its garbage compared to the real thing
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if you're reading this ask yourself whether you would accept a genderfluid or multigender person's lesbian identity. now consider whether or not you would accept a trans man's lesbian identity. now consider whether you would accept a cis man's lesbian identity.
because i think there are many people who would accept the first, but not the second two, and others who would accept the first two, but not the last one. but from where i'm standing, these are all inseparable questions.
the acceptance for multigender, genderfluid, and other similar gender-ID lesbians as valid forms of lesbians is often subtextually qualified by the fact that they are not only men. so men are allowed within lesbian spaces, but only if they are a) only men sometimes or b) not exclusively men. but i think this goes back to the idea that lesbians are "non-men who love non-men," an idea that assumes a mutual exclusivity between men and other genders, as well as men and lesbians/lesbianism. this is a concept of sapphicism that excludes many people, myself included.
i have seen people present the idea of trans men and lesbians having a historic connection and community/experiential overlap, and thus the idea of a trans man who is also a lesbian often sits within that historical (i.e. bygone) context, as well as that shared experience. i think two things happen here. first, there is a belief that this is an old phenomenon, one that no longer occurs due to the greater number of more highly proliferated labels. the thought is that this overlap would not have occured if they'd had the proper language available—that people would slot into their boxes neatly, essentially. this is not true, as evidenced by the modern existence of trans men who are/were/once ID'd as lesbians, and lesbians who are/were/once ID'd as trans men. the second is the idea that that confusion or overlap essentially gives them a pass to call themselves lesbians, due to attachment to the title; or the suggestion that a shared experience gives them the right, even as men, to identify as lesbians anyway, a right that is not extended to cis men. but i ask what that shared experience might be, and whether that should be the qualification? is it a queer afab upbringing? that could mean a lot of things. aroace women would also have such an upbringing, and many of them would not view themselves as lesbians. there are plenty of lesbians who are not afab as well, and do not have whatever externally-perceived girlhood is imagined within that. plenty of trans men (and other afab trans people) do not view themselves as having ever been little girls, and plenty of trans women (and other non-afab trans people) view themselves as having been, at some point, boys. there are many others still whose "shared experience" will not be so neatly defined. intersex people of all genders often have very different experiences with perceived and experienced sex and gender, particularly if their puberty is blatantly not typical girl-puberty or boy-puberty. even things like racial or class dynamics could skew that experience, of who is allowed to be a girl (i.e. black women in america being barred from the social roles of "woman" because the concept is associated with/necessitates whiteness), or similar questions. my point is that, while perhaps a stronger link, shared experience is an undefinable and non-comprehensive concept here, as with, frankly, most/all gender/sexuality concepts. any box will lead to exclusion; every rule has exceptions.
this leads me to the third concept. though it may be hard for some to imagine a cis man who is also (genuinely, unironically) a lesbian, i think it is safe to assume that at least one exists, and likely many more. (in discussions of gender/sexuality theory, i think it is best practice to assume that is the case.) my challenge to you, especially if you said yes to the prior two and no to this one, is to consider what makes a cis man different from these prior examples. if you believe that some men may be allowed into lesbianism, why not cis men? what makes them different? why should men need additional genders to be lesbians? why should they need to have the community-approved gender path/understanding to be lesbians? who dictates the life or experience that allows one to be a lesbian, and is it anyone's right to decide that?
i just think it's good to ask yourself these things. i am very happy to see an increase in acceptance of the first two categories of lesbians on here, but i think (and i say this with love) that a lot of these people don't really consider why they are accepted, and whether those rules apply to other groups. they begin to accept others, but don't question the broader framework. it's just a suggestion. as a genderfluid + multigender lesbian myself, i have to confront the "no boys allowed/men dni" stuff a lot, and i think the ways i'm affected by it and my experience trying to encourage the letting go of such sentiments has given me some perspective on the issue. and although im not cis anything, much less a cis man, i guess i wanted to like,, prompt some reflection in people? because i think there's a lot of well-meaning and genuinely very progressive people who may think "you're a lesbian if you say you are" but don't apply that to situations where they're confronted with a type of lesbian they don't understand/that doesn't fit their definitions. like if self-id is what matters then anyone could be a lesbian. my point is that that's true, and that's okay. you don't need to keep anyone out. lesbianism is in your heart, basically.
#im putting obscure gender theory dyke discourse on the dash again sorry#this post extends to mspec lesbians and the like as well. men and lesbianism are not mutually exclusive okay thats my point#anyway ive talked about this a few times before but whatever it needs to be said again. fuck it#someone's gotta talk about lesbian men and i guess it's gotta be me#look obviously the consensus is not that trans men can be lesbians or even that genderfluid lesbians are valid or whatever#trust me if you believe either of those things you're ahead of the curve on dyke theory and acceptance and i appreciate it#but maybe this'll make someone feel seen or change their minds or realize something idk. im just thinking out loud here#i know it's not the biggest problem in the world or that it's a very 'online issue' but i think it actually is relevant to someone somewhere#maybe not a cis man who's a lesbian but someone related or someone who does exclude certain lesbians#people have been talking about weird dyke genders since before the internet too like it's not just terminally online discourse or whatever#anyway this is just meant to be smth to chew on yk. yeah 👍
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literally obsessed with that one stupid page about the 4 samsara cycles by the narzissenkreuz ordo and the concept of descenders. what exactly are the "remains" of the third descender? does that mean their physical form or something else entirely?
#i feel like i can point out a few things i feel are relevant to understanding the big picture but then don't know how to connect everything#i REALLY think something is up with time in teyvat as a whole#you cannot tell me the fact istaroth has been worships before in teyvat and no longer is and the only way it has preserved through time#and consequently the samsaras has been through stories (like we experience in sumeru) isn't extremely relevant#it has to be!!! it's unwanted information in the 'system'#much like forbidden knowledge which we know is associated with the fall of multiple civilizations#and what is also associated with places that have been targetted by celestia's nails? irminsul branches#the same irminsul that records all information in teyvat#the same irminsul we can assume dain uses to continue to live till this day breaking free from erosion#erosion from 'time' that affects even the gods?!#is erosion even natural in the first place?#curses by the heavenly principles... fear against otherwordly information... cycles of life...#4 cycles... 4 descenders... 4 shades of phanes (2 unknown)...#the samsara cycles having names of civilizations/regions...#what's connecting these things?#natlan's incsndescant ode of ressurection... ressurection... gnosis being remains of the third descender...#the tsaritsa collecting the gnosis... i know there's a connection there has to be#i really think time is fucked up in teyvat like what if the entire thing is just timeless?#i feel like i have the brain the size of a pea#could the descenders be us or our twin in different 'times'?#the concept of the gnosis fucked me up i don't understand it genuinely what are remains and can they coexist with the supposed 3rd or not#genshin thoughts
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Dragon Age: The Veilguard info compilation Post 1
Post is under a cut due to length.
There is a lot of information coming out right now about DA:TV from many different sources. This post is just an effort to compile as much as I can in one place, in case that helps anyone. Sources for where the information came from have been included. Where I am linking to a social media user's post, the person is either a dev, a Dragon Age community council member or other person who has had a sneak peek at and played the game. nb, this post is more of a 'info that came out in snippets from articles and social media posts' collection rather than a 'regurgitating the information on the official website or writing out what happened in the trailer/gameplay reveal' post. The post is broken down into headings on various topics. A few points are repeated under multiple headings where relevant. Where I am speculating without a source, I have clearly demarcated this. if you notice any mistakes in this post, please tell me.
as this post hit a kind of character limit, there will probably be at least 1 more post. :)
Character Creation
CC is vast [source] and immensely detailed [source]
We will enter CC straight after Varric's opening narration [source]
You are given 5 categories to work your way through in CC: Lineage, Appearance, Class, Faction, Playstyle. Each of these has a range of subcategories within them. There are 8 subcategories within the "head" subcategory" in "Appearance" alone [source]
Lineage dictates things like race (i.e. human, elf, dwarf, qunari) and backstory [source]
Backstories include things like factions. Factions offer 3 distinct buffs each [source]
There are dozens and dozens of hairstyles [source]
There are separate options for binary and non-binary pronouns and gender [source]
"BioWare's work behind the scenes, meanwhile, goes as deep as not only skin tones but skin undertones, melanin levels, and the way skin reacts differently to light" [source]
CC has a range of lighting options within it so that you can check how the character looks in them [source]
There are a range of full-body customization options such as a triangular slider between body types and individual settings down to everything from shoulder width to glute volume [source]. There are "all the sliders [we] could possibly want". The body morpher option allows us to choose different body sizes [source]
All body options are non-gendered [source]
They/them pronouns are an option [source]
Rook can be played as non-binary [source]
Individual strands of hair were rendered separately and react remarkably to in-game physics [source]
Special, focused attention was paid to ensuring that hairstyles "come across as well-representative, that everyone can see hairstyles that feel authentic to them, even the way they render" [source]
The game uses strand hair technology borrowed in part from the EA Sports games. The hair is "fully-controlled by physics," so it "looks even better in motion than it does here in a standstill" [source]
The ability to import our choices from previous games is fully integrated into CC. This will take the form of tarot cards - "you can go into your past adventures" and this mechanic tells you what the context was and what decision you want to make [source]
In CC we will also be able to customize/remake our Inquisitor [source]
A core tenet of the game is "be who you want to be" [source]
There are presets for all 4 of the game's races (human, elf, dwarf, qunari), in case detailed CCs overwhelm you [source]
Story
The story is set 9 years since Inquisition [source]
The Inquisitor will appear [source]
Other characters refer to the PC as Rook [source]. This article says they are "the Rook" [source]
The ability to import our choices from previous games is fully integrated into CC. This will take the form of tarot cards - "you can go into your past adventures" and this mechanic tells you what the context was and what decision you want to make [source]
The prologue is quite lengthy. A narrated intro from Varric lays the groundwork with some lore and explains about Solas [source]. In this Varric-narrated opening section, the dwarf recaps the events of previous games and explains the motivations of Solas [source] (Fel note/speculation: this sounds like this cinematic that we saw on DA Day 2023)
What happens first off is that Rook, who is working with Varric, is interrogating a bartender about the whereabouts of a contact in Minrathous who can help them stop Solas. The bartender does not play nice and we are presented with our first choice: talk the bartender down or intimidate them aggressively [source]
The first hour of the game is "a luxurious nighttime romp through a crumbling city under a mix of twinkling starlight and lavish midnight blue" (Minrathous) [source]. The game begins with a tavern brawl (depending on dialogue options) and a stroll through Minrathous in search of Neve Gallus, who has a lead on Solas [source]. Minrathous then comes under attack [source] by demons [source] (Fel note/speculation: it sounds like the demo the press played is what we saw in the Gameplay Reveal). Off in the distance is a vibrant, colorful storm where Solas is performing his ritual. [source] Eventually we come upon Harding. [source] and Neve. Rook and co enter a crumbling castle, where ancient elf secrets pop up, "seemingly just for the lore nerds". [source] Then we teleport to Arlathan Forest, have a mini boss fight with a Pride Demon, and there is the climactic confrontation with Solas. After a closing sequence, at this point it is the end of the game's opening mission. [source] (Fel note/speculation: So the Gameplay Reveal showed the game's opening mission)
The action in the story's opening parts starts off quite quick from the sounds of things: the devs wanted to get the player right in to the story. because, “Especially with an RPG where they can be quite lore-heavy, a lot of exposition at the front and remembering proper nouns, it can be very overwhelming.” [source]
BioWare wanted to make the beginning of Dragon Age: The Veilguard feel like the finale of one of their other games [source]
Rook's Faction will be referenced in dialogue [source]
Minrathous is beautiful, with giant statues, floating palaces, orange lantern glow and magical runes which glow green neon. These act "like electricity" as occasional signs above pubs and stores [source]
The story has a lot of darkness tonally. These dark parts of the game contain the biggest spoilers [source]. However, the team really wanted to build in contrast between the dark and light moments in the game, as if everything is dark, nothing really feels dark [source]
Our hub (like the Normandy in ME or Skyhold in DA:I) is a place called The Lighthouse [source] (Fel note/speculation: I guess this screenshot shows the crew in The Lighthouse? ^^)
Each companion has a very complex backstory, their own problems, and deep motivations. These play out through well-fleshed out character arcs and missions that are unique to them but which are ultimately tied into the larger story [source]
We will make consequential decisions for each character, sometimes affecting who they are in heart-wrenching ways and other times joyously [source]
Decisions from previous DA games will be able to be carried over, it will just work a bit differently this time [source]. The game will not read our previous saves. For stuff pertaining to previous games/choices, players will not have to link their accounts [source]
Characters, companions, romance
Varric is a major character [source]
Every companion is romanceable [source]
BioWare tried to make each character's friendship just as meaningful, regardless of romance [source]
If you don't romance a character, they may end up romancing each other [source]
There will be some great cameos [source]. Some previous characters are woven into the game [source]
Companion sidequests/optional content relating to companions is highly curated when it involves their motivations and experiences [source]
We could permanently lose some companions depending on our choices [source]
Our choices can influence if characters get injured and what they think about us [source]
The bonds Rook forges with companions determine how party members grow and what abilities become available [source]
Each companion has a very complex backstory, their own problems, and deep motivations. These play out through well-fleshed out character arcs and missions that are unique to them but which are ultimately tied into the larger story [source]
We will make consequential decisions for each character, sometimes affecting who they are in heart-wrenching ways and other times joyously [source]
Gameplay, presentation, performance etc
Each class (warrior, rogue, mage) has 3 specializations. The ones for Rogue are duelist, saboteur and Veil ranger [source]. (Fel note/speculation: Veil ranger reminds me of Bellara. Maybe this is her 'spec' too?)
Duelist gameplay involves a sharp combination of dashes, parries, leaps, rapid slashes and combos [source]
Faction-related buffs include being able to hold an extra potion or do extra damage against certain enemies [source]
Individual strands of hair were rendered separately and react remarkably to in-game physics [source]
Playstyle settings include custom, distinct difficulty settings for options as granular as parry windows, meaning "players who might fancy that playstyle but typically struggle with the finer points of combat can give it a go" [source]
Combat mechanics is a mix of real-time action and pause and play. Pausing brings up a radial menu split into 3 sections: companions to the left and right, Rook's skills at the bottom, and a targeting system at the top which helps get in focus on certain enemies. [source]. In the pause system you can queue up your whole party's attacks [source]
Tapping or holding the shoulder button pauses the game, allowing us to stop the action and issue orders to companions [source]
There is a system of specific enemy resistances and weaknesses [source]. Weaknesses and resistances plays a big role in combat and abilities are designed to exploit these accordingly [source]. An example is that "one character might be able to plant a weakening debuff on an enemy, and another enemy might be able to detonate them" [source]
There is a vast skill tree of unlockable options [source]
You can set up specific companions with certain kits, e.g. to tackle specific enemy types, to being more of a support, or as flexible all-rounders [source]
Healing magic returns [source]
Abilities can change together with elaborate results, e.g. one companion using a gravity well attack that sucked enemies together, another using a slowing move to keep them in place, and Rook using a big AOE to catch them all at once [source]
A shortcut system lets you map a few abilities to a smaller pinned menu at the bottom of the screen [source]
There are class-specific resource systems. For example, Rogue has "momentum", which builds up as Rook lands consecutive hits [source]
Each class will always have a ranged option [source]
Rogue Rook can do a sort of 'hip fire' option with a bow, letting you pop off arrows from the waist [source]
Warriors can throw their shield at enemies, and can build an entire playstyle around that using the skill tree [source]
There is light platforming gameplay [source]
The game runs on the latest iteration of the Frostbite engine [source]
The game targets 60 fps
On consoles it will feature performance and quality modes so we can choose our preferred visual fidelity [source]
The game is mission based [source]. Some levels that we go to do open up, some with more exploration than others. "Alternate branching paths, mysteries, secrets, optional content you're going to find and solve." [source]
Everything is hand-touched, hand-crafted and highly curated [source]
Some sidequests and optional content is highly curated, especially when it involves the motivations and experiences of the companions. In others we may be investigating for example a missing family, with an entire open bog environment to search for clues and a way to solve the disappearance [source]
Gameplay, presentation, performance etc continued, after the above bullet list hit a character limit
There is sophisticated animation cancelling and branching. Gameplay is action-like, and the design centers around dodging, countering, and using risk-reward charge attacks designed to break enemy armor layers [source]
The dialogue wheel returns [source]. It gives truncated summaries of the dialogue options rather than the full line that the character is going to say [source]
The bonds Rook forges with companions determine how party members grow and what abilities become available [source]
For stuff pertaining to previous games/choices, players will not have to link their accounts [source]
We can play the game fully offline [source]
There are no microtransactions [source]
The game itself is not as cell-shaded in look as the first trailer looked [source]
[☕ found this post or blog interesting or useful? my ko-fi is here if you feel inclined. thank you 🙏]
#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: dreadwolf#dragon age 4#the dread wolf rises#da4#dragon age#bioware#lgbtq#video games#long post#longpost#solas#mj best of#mass effect#character death cw#injury cw#update: there is now a part 2 and 3 and 4 of this post#tumblr unfortunately wont let me edit the link to them into this post for some reason thought sorry :<#you will have to browse through my more recent posts to find them#thanku to dreadfutures who also let me know about the accessibility tweet in this comp :>
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ciaoo!! how about max's girlfriend being the biggest lestappen shipper and makes fun of him and he just plays along with her with all that norris inchindents recently they just purely gossip on their day off. probably like a domestic fluff. cooking and whatnot.
thank you. love your work btw, incredible stuff!!
Rumor Has It~Max Verstappen
・❥・prompt list ・❥・masterlist ・❥・who I write for
y/n leaned over the counter, watching as Max stirs the pasta sauce on the stove, the delicious aroma filling the kitchen. He’s trying to keep his focus on the bubbling sauce, but her relentless teasing has him breaking into a grin every few seconds.
“So… when’s the wedding?” she asked with an exaggeratedly serious tone.
Max side-eyed her, a smirk tugging at his lips. “Who’s getting married?”
“Oh, don’t play clueless” she said, folding her arms as she leaned a bit closer. “You and Charles. Obviously. The F1 power couple the world has been waiting for. Come on, Maxie, we all see the way you two look at each other.”
Max snorts, shaking his head. “You’re insane, you know that?”
y/n gasped with mock outrage. “How dare you dismiss my beautiful ship! I’m practically the captain at this point.”
Max laughs, finally giving up on stirring the sauce to turn and face her, wiping his hands on a dish towel. “Yeah? Well, if I’m marrying Charles, does that mean you’re left alone to dream about me from afar?”
She rolled her eyes, reaching out to poke his chest. “Don’t flatter yourself, Verstappen.”
Max caught her hand, tugging her a bit closer until there’s barely any space between them. “Then stop with the Charles jokes. He’d hate you for it, anyway.”
“Oh, he would not,” she insisted, brushing off his comment. “Charles has a sense of humor. You two are just too shy to admit your feelings. Besides, I’m sure he’s off gossiping about us right now. Maybe with Lando. You know how much Lando loves a good rumor.”
Max raises an eyebrow, stifling a chuckle. “You think Charles and Lando gossip about us?”
“Oh, please,” she said, waving her hand. “I bet they’re talking about all the hot drama from the paddock. Anyways, apparently Lando’s ego has gone from medium to extra-large lately?”
Max sighs, rolling his eyes. “Don’t even get me started on Lando’s ego. Sometimes I think he just loves hearing himself talk. I mean, did you hear him the other day? Talking about how he was ‘definitely the best driver’ and that I got lucky in Brazil for going from 17th place to first?”
y/n let out a giggle, covering her mouth. “I know! I’m like, buddy, calm down. He’s sweet, but there’s a lot of ‘me, me, me’ going on lately.”
Max shakes his head, exasperation all over his face. “I swear, he’s like a puppy. One compliment, and he’s bouncing off the walls. And don’t even get me started on him dating Magui, the influencer who used to be with Joao Felix. The same Magui who cheated on him, like, a million times. Lando swears it’s not serious but come on.”
“Oh, he lives for it,” she said, rolling her eyes. “He’s totally wrapped up in her whole ‘cool, edgy, unattainable’ vibe, but she’s just trying to be relevant. You know she’s doing everything she can to become a WAG.”
Max snickers, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “And I thought we were bad at keeping things private.”
“Please, we’re saints in comparison,” she said, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him in closer. “And speaking of secrets…” she leaned in, voice lowering, “do you know how Alexandra and Charles met?”
Max raises an eyebrow, intrigued. “No, how did he meet her?”
“She was friends with his ex and her sister” y/n said with a sly grin. “Can you believe it?”
Max chuckles, shaking his head. “Guess Charles has a type��and a way of meeting them through friends. Wasn't Charlotte also friends with the girlfriend before her?”
y/n laughed, nodding. “Right? And I swear, Alexandra and Charlotte look exactly the same. It’s like he’s got a specific blueprint for girlfriends or something.”
Max’s arms slid around her waist as he pulled her even closer. “Seems like Charles might have some explaining to do.”
y/n leaned her head against his shoulder, feeling his warmth against her. “it's fun knowing everyone’s secrets. Like how Pierre’s girlfriend, Kika, has that whole beef with Magui. She can’t stand her.”
Max raises an eyebrow, a grin forming. “Why am I not surprised? Didn’t Magui basically try to become a WAG overnight?”
“Exactly. Kika can’t stand it. Magui’s been copying her style, her posts, everything since the two stopped being friends. I swear, she’s just trying to outdo Kika at being the ultimate F1 girlfriend.”
Max shakes his head with a chuckle. “Kika’s a sweetheart; she deserves better than that drama.”
She laughed, tightening her arms around his neck as he hugged her close. “You know, we could give Lando a run for his money in the rumor department.”
Max laughed, kissing her once more. “You know what? I’m okay with that.” He leans down, murmuring in her ear, “As long as I’ve got you.”
She can’t help the smile that spreads across her face as she pulled him in for a proper kiss. This was their little slice of paradise—gossiping, cooking, and just being together with Max, in this lovely, imperfect chaos that’s all her own.
#max verstappen#max#verstappen#formula one#formula 1#formula one oneshots#formula one oneshot#formula one imagines#formula one imagine#red bull f1#f1#f1 x you#f1 x reader#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen x you#red bull team#red bull racing#max verstappen x f!reader#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen fluff#max verstappen x y/n
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‼️ MY EXPERIENCE WITH @girlkisser13
🚨 HARASSMENT & PLAGIARISM 🚨
i want to address a serious issue that has recently come to light regarding a user in the fanfiction community (@girlkisser13) with a concerning history of plagiarism and ongoing harassment. this situation involves not just the act of stealing someone else's work but also a troubling pattern of aggressive behavior that has surfaced, indicating a lack of accountability and growth. it’s crucial for us writers and fans to stand together against such actions to maintain a supportive and respectful community for all creators. with that being said, read below. transparency is key, so i want to share the full context of this situation, including all relevant screenshots. underlined words/sentences include links to posts that are relevant to the incident, so i encourage you to check them out. (if you've recently received a message from an anonymous user about this situation, click here)
SECTION 1 : The Original Plagiarism Incident + Backstory
on june 3, 2023, i was notified by an anonymous user in my inbox that an account called girlkisser14 (now known as girlkisser13 after deactivating her old account) was plagiarizing my work. she repeatedly lifted sections of my writings and headcanons, merging them into her own posts. (note that i pretty much exclusively write for the percy jackson fandom.) after reaching out to her privately i discovered that i could no longer view her posts. at first, i thought she had taken her account down, but it turned out she had just blocked me. by june 5, 2023, i decided to create a post detailing the situation, which you can read here. shortly after, she contacted me, and we managed to come to a resolution. it seemed like a good opportunity for her to acknowledge her mistakes and learn from them. i updated my original post to reflect that the issue had been resolved. later on, she messaged me saying she couldn’t cope with the backlash. while i’m unsure if she was genuinely receiving hate, i felt sympathy for her situation. she asked me to take down the post, but i declined as accountability is important to me and i didn't feel comfortable with just erasing history. soon after, she deactivated her account.
although she deactivated her original account, she shortly after created a new one. i was notified by a different anon about this because her posts were moved to the new account, and some still included my work—presumably by accident. from that point on, she became known as girlkisser13, which can be confusing given her original username was girlkisser14. initially, she missed a few paragraphs of my work, as mentioned earlier, which prompted me to make a post about it (as seen in screenshot 2). however, she reached out to me, and we clarified everything through direct messages. after that, all seemed well!
however, things would get much worse from here. (this main character ahh dialogue bro.. 💀)
SECTION 2 : Account Tries a New Persona, Still Fails at Not Harassing Me.
(september 21st, 2024) an anonymous account messaged me with the following:
to be honest, i was completely baffled. i had completely forgotten about this issue, and out of nowhere, someone decides to bring it back up. it struck me as strange because… who gets so personal over something like this?
the user, which goes by the handle 'multifandombisexual13' also sent the exact same message directly to me, which made it clear that the anonymous message came from them, as shown.
first of all, the usernames are incredibly similar. both have the number 13, and girlkisser13 is a multifandom account. if you look at their profile, you'll notice they only repost stories from girlkisser13. even on the "check out these accounts" sidebar, there's only one account listed: girlkisser13. this is because they only repost content from that account.
let’s be real—this isn’t the behavior of a genuine fan. who goes through that much trouble? it’s obvious that this is girlkisser13 under an alternate handle.
i raised these concerns with the user, and i made sure to respond in a civil manner.
they didn’t respond to my initial message and only replied after I reached out to girlkisser13. i sent her a message about this situation. (just to be clear, this user and girlkisser13 are the same person.)
the user then responded at 4:38 PM. note that her main account, girlkisser13, replied to my message at 4:42 PM. (less than 5 minutes apart.) classic. (dates and times are included right under the text.)
if it wasn’t obvious by now, this person has been harassing me from their alt while pretending to be an innocent bystander on their main account. it’s like they’re playing both sides—using one account to send nasty messages and the other to act like they have no clue what’s going on. it’s honestly ridiculous and kind of sad at this point. (you will most likely have to zoom in to read the screenshots.)
you get the idea: this account goes off on personal jabs, claiming i have some need for control and a massive ego just because i refused to take the post down. i defended myself (obviously), but then she decided to accuse me of being jealous. (???)
i’ve made it clear SO many times—the post stays up for accountability. but no, she’s built up this entire fictional scenario where i’m obsessed with who’s getting more notes or attention. i promise you, i literally could not care less.
every single message is her droning on about “jealousy” or my supposed "ego and control issues," but never once acknowledging the actual point. it’s about holding people accountable for their actions. this isn’t a competition or a takedown—it's about transparency and honesty in the community. and to try and reduce it to some petty jealousy battle? that’s honestly ridiculous and completely out of touch.
like, she’s sitting there imagining i’m losing sleep over someone’s follower count on tumblr of all places. does she even realize how absurd that sounds? i'm a high school student who posts fanfic maybe once a month in a small fandom. tumblr is not my life, and there's definitely nothing here for me to be jealous of.
i don’t care how well someone is doing, i care about transparency and keeping things honest in the community. now, let’s address the obvious here. it’s super weird for another account to be going so hard defending a situation they supposedly have no part in. like, who does that? no one would go to these lengths unless they were personally connected, right? i brought up this whole issue in these screenshots below:
funny how they only stopped harassing me once i mentioned, at the end of my paragraph, that i’d happily make this public. up until that point, it was nonstop. i kept pressing them on whether they were connected to girlkisser13 (and if you somehow forgot—yes, this account and girlkisser13 are the exact same person). it was obvious, but i just wanted them to admit it.
it was around this time that i decided to message her main account, girlkisser13, to clear things up. i figured it was best to go straight to the source and get some clarification, but of course, things only got more suspicious from there.
SECTION 3: Ongoing harassment just a heads-up to pay attention to the account names at the top so you know who I'm messaging.
i like how i don't even have to comment on this part lmao. i sent the situation to girlkisser13 at 11:01 PM, and then at 11:39 PM, their other account decides to confront me about it.
anyways, i tried to get some honest answers from girlkisser13, but it was all just denial. at the very least, i asked her to reach out to the "other user" to stop the harassment.
at this point, girlkisser13 decided to backtrack and throw in an apology. i mean, i still firmly believed they were the same person, but honestly? i was just so exhausted from the whole ordeal that i thought, “whatever, let’s just agree and move on.”
SECTION 4: The Slip Up: GirlKisser13's Attempt at Damage Control
almost immediately after the conversation shown before, i received 13 messages TOTAL in my inbox, all in rapid succession, so obviously, they were all from the same person. i won't show them all because they're essentially the same. each one harassed me about my plagiarism post still being up, mentioning girlkisser13, and accusing me of jealousy in the same short, lowercase writing style. i brought this issue up to girlkisser13.
the first slip-up happened when I received a message from her alternate account, multifandombisexual13. up until that point, all the messages had come through anonymously, but it seems she forgot to enable the anonymous option this time.
shortly after, i got a message in the same style from her main account, girlkisser13. need i say more?
so, naturally, i sent the screenshot over to her main account, just to see what she'd say. and what did i get in return? excuse after excuse. it was honestly kind of impressive how quickly she could come up with new stories to cover her tracks. each response was more outlandish than the last, trying to justify what was blatantly obvious.
my brother sent that message!" yes—because your brother just happens to have access to your account. yes, because your brother happens to also be on tumblr, spending his time catching up on the latest percy jackson fanfiction drama... 💀 the sheer absurdity of it all. the pathological lying is honestly embarrassing at this point.
and, of course, the apologies only start rolling in after she's been caught—clearly just an attempt to redirect the drama and save face.
embarrassing...
SECTION 5: FINAL THOUGHTS—My Brain Hurts
in conclusion, this user does not deserve a platform on this app. she has failed to learn from her past mistakes and has clung to an incident that happened over FOUR MONTHS AGO. it’s time for accountability in our community.
harassment and deception have no place in spaces dedicated to creativity and expression. when individuals prioritize personal vendettas over respect and integrity, they tarnish the very essence of what fandom is meant to be.
it’s crucial that we foster an environment where originality is celebrated and where creators feel safe to share their work without fear of retaliation or harassment.
i highly encourage you to read everything i’ve shared and form your own opinion on the incident, but now you know my point of view.
ADDRESSING COMMON QUESTIONS
1. Isn’t this just a personal dispute?
while this situation is personal to me, it reflects broader issues within our fandoms. it’s not just about my experience; it’s about creating a community that values respect and integrity. we should all feel safe to share our work without fear of harassment or plagiarism. no one should feel comfortable stealing others' hard work or bullying creators into silence.
2. Why are some of the photos lower quality than others?
tumblr has a 30-photo limit, which meant i had to manually combine certain screenshots in a photo editor to get everything in. i also wanted to save space to make sure the most important screenshots could be posted in their highest quality. this is especially noticeable in the banter between me and her alternate account (see Section 2).
3. Why didn’t you just take down the post like she asked? Are you really jealous of her like she accused you of?
• absolutely not. i kept the post up for accountability. this was never about ego, jealousy, or a desire for control, as she accused me of—it’s about making sure people are aware of what happened and holding someone responsible for their actions. removing the post would allow her to escape the consequences of her behavior, which isn’t fair to me or anyone else she may target in the future. trying to turn this into a jealousy issue is a distraction tactic, and honestly, it’s irrelevant to the conversation. it’s not about followers or popularity—it’s about principles. 4. Why make this public? • because i gave her chances to handle this privately, and she chose to continue the harassment. this could have ended quietly, but she made the decision to escalate it. i’m not going to stay silent about someone who continues to lie, harass, and try to manipulate others.
5. Is it really that big of a deal?
yes. i know this whole situation is a bit silly, but plagiarism and harassment are serious issues, whether they happen online or in real life. it’s not just about fanfiction; it’s about respecting people’s work and holding individuals accountable when they cross boundaries.
to wrap this up, if you have any questions or concerns about the situation, feel free to reach out to me. i’ve tried to lay everything out as clearly as possible while trying to get this information out as quickly as possible, but i’m open to any clarifications or further discussion. i honestly don’t know how far this will reach or how many people will see it, but I think it’s important to at least try. for accountability’s sake, i’m tagging all the fandoms she’s active in, so all people can be aware of what’s been happening. hopefully, this will help set a standard in our community for respecting each other’s work and holding people accountable when they cross the line. i understand that some may want to defend her, but it’s crucial to consider the pattern of behavior exhibited. defending someone who has repeatedly shown disrespect for others’ work can enable harmful actions. i encourage people to look at the evidence and form their own opinions rather than simply siding with someone based on personal feelings.
thank you for your time!! ©valsverse— do not steal, edit, or repost my works. plagiarism is prohibited.
#x reader#fanfiction#percy jackson#buckey barnes x reader#percy jackson x reader#avatar the last airbender#bridgerton#criminal minds#dc#harry potter#marvel#pretty little liars#the summer i turned pretty#the umbrella academy#the vampire diaries#matt murdock x reader#wanda maximoff x reader#peter parker x reader#harry potter x reader#five hargreeves x reader#the umbrella academy x reader#luke castellan x reader#dick grayson x reader#bruce wayne x reader#jason todd x reader#spencer reid x reader#aaron hotchner x reader#criminal minds x reader#clark kent x reader#nightwing x reader
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I just wanna say that I am SO excited for the part 2 to your Paul Destiny fic. I have so many questions and Im excited to see if they get answered. Like if Paul is pledging his love to the reader then is the romance plot with Chani still relevant? Is the reader still the princess here? Very interesting
Imagine if Paul Atreides claimed you as his destiny: PART Ⅱ of Ⅱ
|| Word Count: 1.7K || Fluff ||
A/N: Honestly, I didn't think this would blow up so much- 1k+ likes??! Thank you all, it's sick 🙃 in answer to your questions, I didn't really specify if the reader (you) are part of a Great House or the Emperor's daughter, or maybe someone else, that's kind of up to your imagination. And yeah, sorry Chani fans, I kind of kicked her to the curb lmao; This is all about you, and so enjoy the second and final part of this destiny trope before I work on some relationship headcanons for Paul and Feyd-Rautha... Requests are open for Dune 2, so don't be shy 📩
You can't escape fate.
It's as real as the Spice that threads through the grains of sand blanketing Arrakis in heavy, warm golden waves. It twists and turns in the air, in the tides of change, something beyond understanding roping together reality and its lives to bond, whether in love or hate.
At least, with the newly ascended young Emperor, you know which side you're on. Since the day of his declaration and claiming of you as his Empress, you've never once left his sight, unknowingly or not. The boy is almost ridiculously close and observant, as if testing the depths of the events unfolding around him, testing to see whether you'll try to run from them, from him. But you can't run from fate, either.
"You aren't resting."
Paul's soft, low voice slices through the silence of the dusk, the only words you hear before you feel his warm, firm arms slipping under your arms and around your middle, pulling you into his front in a smooth, protective motion. His chocolate brown locks tickle your neck and cheek as he gazes up at you from your shoulder; wandering, curious eyes study yours knowingly, his natural hues tainted blue with the Spice.
"What troubles you?"
You hesitate in your response, unsure of the right thing to say. There's no point in lying, not to him, to a boy who could easily use the power of his Voice to make you tell him everything and anything with just a few words. He's done it to the Bene Gesserit, to those who speak out of turn and challenge him cluelessly, but never to you. And something tells you that he never will.
"I'm sorry," is how you answer instead, in a small whisper, trying to read his expression before his reaction.
But all Paul does is give you one of his soft, amused smirks, a brow raising slightly, unconvinced.
"Don't apologise to anyone for anything," he murmurs, his fingers drifting to lock with yours, his hand hot and strong in yours. "We are to be wed, you and I, soon. So what troubles you?"
"It's not you," you tell him as earnestly as you can, his eyes capturing yours and holding them as you blink up at him. "I'm just... nervous."
"Nervous?" Paul repeats gently, his hands squeezing yours for a moment, his face an inch away from yours. "What have you to be nervous about?" He grins slightly, not attempting to hide his teasing amusement. "A wedding?"
You can't help but smile at his tone, savouring the unguarded moments of the new, young Emperor, his boyish traits lingering beneath the newfound power and promises passed down to him.
You were nervous, because you weren't so familiar with destiny and its quirks, and yet, Paul Atreides seemed to be its master. Nervous, because although there was a strange pull between you and him, a deeper part of you somehow knowing him, at an instinctive ease with him, you had never met him before these past few days, and now, you were going to be joined together for time indefinite by marriage. Nervous, because he didn't just want you to rule with him, but alongside him, as a partner, a second part of him. His second half who's with him in soul, not just spirit, physically, not just mentally. And he's relishing in it.
"I've never had one before," you shake your head with a light smile, "I don't know what to expect. Or what's expected of me."
Paul hums to himself at your reply, pausing for a while as he thinks over his words.
"It isn't just a wedding," he tells you quietly, "it's so much more. This... this a beginning. A new dawn."
"Beginning?" You echo in bemusement, looking up at him in wonder. "Of what?"
"Of a new era," Paul says thoughtfully, his hands moving from yours to run over and down your sides, tracing over your figure absentmindedly, a gesture that makes you hold your breath for a beat as you watch him, "the first of many. You are more than a mere future. You're the future. My future. And the future of my people."
The sincerity and conviction in his voice makes you stare back at him in slight awe, taken by his certainty of what he's seen in the deepest stretches of his mind, the flickering images of you, adorned in all your natural beauty and grace that he could find nothing short of perfect. You were a fantasy and a hope materialised. Someone he'd wished and dreamed for so much, that you came true, just as you should have.
"Anything that happens to you," Paul continues, looking you straight in the eye as he speaks, "happens to me. You have always been mine, and I was yours before then. Absolutely and completely."
And his words make a home in your head, everything he says so poetic and beautifully surreal, but so honest and unwaveringly confident. He didn't need to practise what he said before he whispered the sweet words in your ear, in a voice only you could catch, in the long, warm nights on Arrakis. There was no need for practice. He had been made for this, and he wouldn't have it any other way.
You let yourself relax slightly in his grips, giving him an earnest smile. "That sounds nice."
Paul smiles back at you, a bright, sweet smile that makes him seem so soft and normal, almost forgetting for a moment of his utter strength and glory over the planets, his dangerous darkness that he occasionally allowed to rule over his actions at the tensest of times, until those who stood up against him retreated in bewilderment and fascination and fear.
"It does," he agrees, his gaze dropping to look out at the dunes beyond you, "you can't imagine..."
You couldn't. But every part of you wanted to. And those parts won.
"Won't you tell me?"
Paul's attention shifts back to you after you speak, before you can stop yourself.
"Would it be kind to tell you?" He asks aloud, speaking half to himself as his eyes go to search yours again, studying every inch of you, almost unsettlingly intently.
"Do you dream?" Paul questions you softly, and you dither before shaking your head.
"Not like you do," you answer steadily.
"Like I do. Seeing your face amidst the streaks of sunbeams and every kind of ethereal power that could create wonders, planets, worlds. Waking up, and you're not here, though it felt so real," he goes on, his voice laced with longing, as if it pained him to remember the feeling. "Realer than I've ever felt anything before. Every sense in me was awakened, because with destiny, I saw hope. And I did not know that hope could be so.... beautifully... angelic."
Paul draws closer and closer with each word, pulled by invisible strings to rest his forehead against yours, closing his eyes for a long moment to breathe, breathe you in. The sight of it is almost dizzyingly hypnotic, staring at the little scattered freckles over his fair, lightly tanned skin, cheeks flushed golden. He moves his face to rub his cheek against yours, seeking out affection in an irresistible rare, vulnerable move. Your hand reaches up to brush your fingers against it, and he takes it in his immediately, pressing his lips against your fingertips as he speaks.
"I need you," Paul insists, his voice firm and pressing again as he stares at you with a spark of desperation. "I need only you. More than you can comprehend. By my side, always, where you belong."
"I'm right here," you reply a little giddily, looking away from his eyes slightly bashfully from the intensity and unbridled longing of his gaze. "I suppose I'm just not used to this."
"To what?" Paul questions, his fingers tilting your chin up softly to force your eyes back up to his, his face a little closer than before. "To being an Empress?"
Before you can respond, he's pushed himself closer over you, his warm, damp lips sliding and pressing against yours and parting to encourage you to deepen his affections. It sends hot shockwaves rushing straight through your blood, as Paul crouches over you, all patience and purpose forgotten in the moment where it's just the two of you in the calm, lingering desert night.
You fit together perfectly, too perfectly for his words to be untrue, and his head tilts keenly where your fingers skim his neck, his lips parting from yours as they tangle in his hair with a short gasp. He loses none of his confidence and persistence, his azure blue eyes a shade darker as he watches you with an open trace of adoration.
"A queen?"
"Paul," you start shakily, as he smirks at you fondly, his head ducking to trace his tongue briefly up the skin of your neck, with a faint chuckle.
"To being desired?"
You glare at him weakly, hanging onto his hands tight to find some sense of grounding. "You're just playing with me."
"I intend to do so much more than that," Paul grins at you, kissing your cheek before burying his face against your shoulder. "And so should you. Test the depths of our connection. Push it to its limits. Push me. Please."
You find yourself speechless again at his way with words, simple and truthful, but full of passion and unthought romance, a sensation he's been craving since the first shadows of your being in his hazy dreams and visions.
"Give into your destiny, sweet girl," he croons to you in a whisper, his lips brushing against yours and pressing down against your skin needily, hungrily. It takes almost inhumane strength not to crumble and shiver under his touch and desire radiating off him and his dark glare, the wanting over years of dreams and prophecies building up to its peak. "Give into me."
"I think I will," you whisper back in awe and giddiness, your arms having to hold tightly around his neck to stay upright. "I think I want to."
"That's good," he praises you with a soft smile, as his voice lowers. "And besides," Paul mutters in your ear, nuzzling against your cheek breathlessly, with that subtle, teasing look in his eyes, "I plan on taking you as mine well before the wedding."
══════════════⊹⊱≼ fin ≽⊰⊹══════════════
Taglist (lmk if you want to be added to this for my future Dune fanfics): @minaxcarter @milaeth @ennycutie @weird0o0 @aoi-targaryen @jindongdongie
#paul atredies x reader#paul atreides imagine#paul atreides x reader#paul atreides x you#paul atreides#dune x reader#dune x you#timothee chalamet x you#paul atredies smut#paul atreides oneshot#dune spoilers#dune imagine#dune 2024#timothee fanfic#timothee x reader#timothee imagine#timothee chalamet#timothee chamalet#chalamet#dune fandom#dune fanfiction#paul atreides fanfic
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The Hot Take: Part 1
paige bueckers x influencer!reader
wc: 1.7k
a/n: here's part 1 to my influencer!reader fic based on the poll i posted a few days ago. i took a few days to write out the first few parts to this storyline, so i shall see yall in a few days <3
**********
Sitting in the studio, you shuffle through the day's notes as you wait for Taylor, your partner and co-host, to get ready. You glance around at the familiar setup: soundproof walls, the big red “ON AIR” sign, and Taylor’s mic with her distinctive bright blue pop filter across from you. The Hot Take has come a long way since you and Taylor first started recording episodes in a makeshift studio in your apartment.
Finally, Taylor takes her seat, grinning like she’s got a secret. You recognize that glint in her eye; it’s the same look she gives you right before she drops a bombshell on air. You chuckle, half expecting her to share some wild celebrity tidbit or throw in an off-the-cuff comment that’ll leave fans buzzing.
“All right, ready to kick things off?” she asks, sliding her headphones on. You nod, pressing record, and the familiar flow of the episode begins.
The conversation starts with your typical lineup of the week’s big pop culture and sports events. You trade opinions on a recent basketball draft, discuss an unexpected celebrity breakup, and riff on a few new album releases. Fans love the way you and Taylor can pivot from debating sports stats to analyzing the latest music trends—all with a laid-back vibe that feels like a natural conversation between friends.
As you move toward wrapping up, Taylor flashes you a mischievous smile, one that promises she’s about to shake things up. Before you can question her, she clears her throat, leaning close to the mic with a conspiratorial whisper.
“So, Y/N, we always promise full transparency on this show, right?”
You nod, slightly suspicious but playing along. “Right...”
She grins, eyes sparkling. “Well, I feel like it’s time I share something personal—a bit of a confession, if you will.”
You raise an eyebrow, curious. “Oh, really? Do tell.”
“It’s about my celebrity crush,” she declares, and you feel your eyebrows shoot up. Celebrity crush? That’s…random. But Taylor’s got that devilish glint, so you know she’s leading somewhere.
“Oh, please, Taylor,” you say, laughing. “Are you seriously bringing up your celebrity crush right now?”
“Of course! It’s relevant to sports, I promise.” She laughs, her voice dipping into an almost-reverent tone. “Because it’s Paige Bueckers.”
There’s a beat where you try to process that. Paige Bueckers—a name practically synonymous with college basketball greatness, a player with such raw talent and drive that her highlight reels are legend. Of course, Paige has the kind of skill and flair on the court that would make her anyone’s “celebrity crush.”
Without thinking, you roll your eyes and let out a laugh. “Oh, Paige Bueckers? Come on, Tay. Isn’t she a bit…overrated?”
The words escape before you have time to reconsider, and you catch Taylor’s jaw dropping in mock horror, her hand flying to her mouth. Her eyes go wide, as if you’ve just blasphemed on live radio.
“Overrated?” she exclaims, her voice full of exaggerated shock. “Y/N, you’ve officially crossed into hot-take territory. Are you serious?”
You shrug, leaning back in your chair as you play it off. “I mean, yeah, she’s good. She’s really good. But let’s be real—people act like she’s already the GOAT, and she’s, what, twenty-three? I think she’s talented, sure, but maybe the hype’s a little…excessive?”
Taylor shakes her head, laughing as she turns back to the camera, knowing your listeners will eat this up. “Listeners, you heard it here first—Y/N thinks Paige Bueckers is overrated. Prepare for the inevitable Twitter meltdown!”
You chuckle, figuring it’s all in good fun. You and Taylor are known for your candid takes; it’s what fans love most about the show. This will be just another talking point, something people can debate online. You wrap up the episode, signing off with your usual mix of humor and playful barbs, and end the recording.
**********
A few hours later, you’re back at home, scrolling through Twitter out of habit. Normally, after an episode drops, fans will post funny clips or start discussions around your and Taylor’s latest takes. You expect some buzz, but this? The reaction is way bigger than usual.
Your notifications are packed with tags, mentions, and—oh. There it is. A clip of your “overrated” comment has already gone viral. One account with a sizable following has posted it, captioning, “Did Y/N just call Paige Bueckers overrated?!” The clip has already racked up thousands of likes and retweets, with fans both defending and attacking your opinion.
Curious, you start scrolling through the replies. A lot of fans are indignant, passionately defending Paige’s talent and listing her stats, achievements, and highlights as if you’ve personally insulted them.
“Overrated? Y/N clearly hasn’t seen a game.” “She’s one of the best of her generation—how can you not see that?” “Bet Y/N wouldn’t last five minutes trying to guard her.”
But there’s also a crowd that’s rallying behind your comment. Some fans are laughing, glad to hear someone finally say what they’d been thinking. “Finally, someone not drinking the Kool-Aid,” one user writes. Another adds, “She’s great, but let’s not pretend like there aren’t other amazing players out there.”
The debate is heated, and the takes are piling up faster than you can read them all. A quick glance at Twitter’s trending page reveals that your name and Paige Bueckers are both climbing the ranks.
You sigh, amused but slightly annoyed. It’s one thing to have fans debating, but Twitter is practically ablaze, turning what you thought was a lighthearted comment into a viral controversy.
By the next morning, things have escalated even further. As you sip your coffee, you notice that your notifications have doubled overnight. And this time, it’s not just random fans. Paige’s teammates are chiming in too.
Azzi Fudd has posted a clip of Paige landing a flawless three-pointer, captioned, “@Y/N, this looks overrated to you?” Jana’s added her two cents with a subtweet: “We all have opinions, I guess. Can’t wait for the next episode.” And KK has dropped a classic response: “Hot takes are like free throws—not everyone hits.”
Each comment comes with thousands of likes and retweets, adding fuel to an already blazing fire. You find yourself chuckling, impressed despite yourself. They’re all coming to Paige’s defense with such witty precision that it’s hard not to admire the loyalty.
Yet, you also feel a prickle of defensiveness. Sure, Paige is good—great, even—but does that mean everyone has to agree that she’s the best thing in sports right now? You pride yourself on being honest and not falling for the hype, but as you scroll through the seemingly endless tweets, part of you wonders if you went too far.
Taylor texts you with a stream of laughing emojis. “Looks like you got the basketball world up in arms. Congratulations!”
You text her back, trying to stay cool. “All in a day’s work, right? Who knew Paige Bueckers had such a dedicated fanbase?”
“Did you really think people would let you get away with that one?” she teases, sending a gif of a player shrugging. “I think you just made Twitter history.”
You laugh, trying to play it off, but as the morning wears on, you can’t stop refreshing the timeline. More comments flood in from basketball fans, analysts, and even a few pro athletes. It’s spiraled into something you never intended—an opinion piece turned viral moment.
That night, you’re lying in bed, scrolling through the remnants of the day’s chaos when a new notification catches your eye. It’s a message request, from someone with a verified blue check. Your heart skips a beat as you read the name.
Paige Bueckers.
You hesitate, not sure what to expect. You’ve been in the public eye long enough to know that some people thrive off the chance to “clap back,” and you half expect Paige to lay into you.
You click to open the message, bracing yourself, but what you read is the last thing you anticipated. The message is short, her tone direct but surprisingly playful: “Overrated, huh? Bold opinion. Care to explain?”
For a moment, you just stare, processing the fact that Paige Bueckers herself has taken notice of your podcast—and your opinion. There’s something oddly thrilling about the attention, and you can’t help but wonder what this conversation might lead to.
With a smirk, you hover over the reply button. You know that a response could pull you further into this whole debate, maybe even turn the interaction into something bigger than a passing Twitter controversy. But there’s a thrill in it—this was Paige Bueckers, after all. The fact that she’d reached out, even playfully, meant you’d gotten her attention. For someone so used to being idolized and hyped up, maybe your perspective had struck a nerve.
Do I play it cool? Double down?
A few clever responses run through your mind, each one more sarcastic than the last, but you decide to keep it simple and direct. After all, Paige’s message had a vibe—she wasn’t attacking you. She was…what? Curious? Challenging you? Either way, it felt like an invitation, and you weren’t about to back down.
“Guess I’m just not a fan of hype,” you type, keeping it short but loaded. You hit send before you can second-guess it.
Not even a minute later, a new notification pops up.
“Fair enough,” she replies. “But if you think it’s all hype, maybe you’ve been watching the wrong games.”
You stare at her reply, feeling a flicker of competitiveness spark to life. She was biting back, not with hostility but with confidence—clearly ready to defend herself without missing a beat. Part of you is annoyed, but a bigger part admires the quick comeback.
So you respond again, more playful this time. “Guess I’ll have to tune in to one of your good games, then.”
A couple of seconds pass, then another message from Paige appears, this one laced with a challenge: “Tell you what—how about courtside seats to the next game? See if you still think I’m overrated.”
For a moment, you’re caught off guard. Was she…inviting you? To her game? This was turning into something more than just a Twitter exchange. The idea of seeing her play up close, watching her skill in real-time, fills you with a mix of intrigue and resistance.
You sit with her offer, fingers poised above the keyboard. Every instinct is telling you to throw a snarky response back, but curiosity gets the better of you. Before you realize it, you’re typing, accepting her offer with a short, “I’ll be there.”
#paige buckets#paige bueckers fic#paige bueckers#paige bueckers x reader#uconn huskies#uconn wcbb#wcbb#wlw fanfic#wlw post
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MAJOR spoilers for doc’s vod under the cut
as you know, doc’s skyblock banishment stipulates that his feet cannot touch the ground, or one week will be added to his sentence.
this is relevant
in his latest vod, pearl shows up to doc’s skyblock base and explains that she wants to do a hermit tour for her flower shop.
doc is understandably confused since he can’t touch the ground
pearl points out a llama she brought and says that doc wouldn’t be touching the ground if he was riding it.
doc is VERY suspicious about her motives, and so is chat
pearl demands to know what warrants his distrust
“it’s always the innocent-looking ones” doc says wisely
but anyway
pearl bribes doc with golden carrots and he eventually water pillars to the ground and onto the llama.
pearl reassures him the whole way while doc makes incoherent panicked noises.
pearl reminds doc to NOT press shift
doc is too busy panicking to listen to pearl when they’re touring the shop.
except for one bit she did with fireworks which he is moderately impressed by
anyway, he spots an ender chest, and pearl agrees to give him two seconds to grab anything.
doc takes the “that’s amazing!” horn, and is pulled away by pearl before he can take more.
and here’s the punchline:
eventually pearl brings doc back after he freaks out a bit more, and as she leads the llama out the entrance, doc desperately reaches for the ender chest to try and grab more useful stuff
in doing so he accidentally presses shift
…and GETS OFF the llama
his feet are definitively planted on the shop steps
pearl stares at him in horror
he starts swearing and jumping around and calling everything stupid
once he’s done he grumpily gets back on the llama and a very apologetic pearl leads him back
then:
just as they’re leaving the shop
like not ten seconds after the shift incident
a creeper comes out of nowhere and kills him.
it’s literally the middle of the day. this man cannot stop losing
false says “gg” in chat, and pearl a “D:”
this time doc explodes a bit more, much like the creeper
he respawns in his base and drops an f-bomb. he is absolutely beside himself
the aftermath:
pearl comes back with his gear. she is very sorry about the whole thing
doc plays the “that’s amazing!” horn with a sardonic chuckle
“that’s not amazing” pearl responds miserably. probably the first time she’s said no to gem even if indirectly
pearl offers to give him anything he wants, and doc requests a moss block
she leaves to get it and doc sulks a bit more before someone in chat points out to him that he didn’t touch the ground: he touched the steps of pearl’s shop
which is what i was thinking too
anyway doc is jubilant at this realisation and yells “LOOPHOLE” a few times
pearl returns with the moss
she still feels bad but threatens doc not to sue her
doc tells her it’s cool
he’s confident that the loophole means he doesn’t get an extra week
pearl spews a few more apologies before leaving
the moment she leaves doc rubs his hands together like a cartoon villain and says “the whining strat works”
doc i don’t think that was a strat
and for reading all this way:
not very funny but i can’t beat the comedy of doc coping for five solid minutes and the entire premise of pearl risking the wrath of hermitcraft’s judicial system and doc’s sanity to show off her interior design.
#docm77#pearlescentmoon#hermitcraft#hermitblr#hermitcraft 10#hermitcraft smp#hermitcraft season 10#hermitcraft s10#hermitcraft season ten#hc s10#hc season 10#hc10#very long post im sorry. i tried to break it up to make it more digestible for whatever is left of your attention spans 🙏
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Blind |Naruto Men X Uchiha!Reader| HC
Characters: Kakashi Hatake, Shikamaru Nara, Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto Uzumaki, Madara Uchiha, Hashirama Senju
Summary: How they handle their partner losing their sight due to the effects of the Mangekyo Sharingan.
Warnings: Mentions of fem, but not very relevant. Mentions of war and loss of sight.
Masterlist Ko-fi
- - - - -
Kakashi Hatake
He knew the day would come when the Sharingan would take your vision, but he didn't know it'd be so soon.
There were no other eyes available to you at the moment, so eternal was not an option.
Not that'd you do it anyway. It was highly against your beliefs to partake in the Uchiha nonsense that was eye swapping.
Something that drew Kakashi towards you in the first place.
You'd been preparing for this day since you first awakened your mangekyo.
You'd memorized the layout of your apartment, practiced roaming the village in a blind fold, and learned braille.
You'd been coping well, Kakashi... not so much.
He couldn't deal with the knowledge that you'd sacrificed your vision for the sake of the village.
You'd given up everything during your years as a shinobi, and this was the icing on top of the cake.
He'd watch you every day.
Watch you drag your hands across the walls of your apartment. Watch you walk a bit too far past the stall in the market. Watched you struggle to do simple things like grocery shopping.
Over time, you'd become worse and worse at eye contact, and that ate him alive.
There were no more longing looks or sneaky glances. Even your attempts to appear as if you could see were slowly declining, and it dampened his mood every time.
He felt as if he'd failed you. If only he'd been stronger, you wouldn't have had to overuse your doujutsu.
But he stayed quiet because you seemed happy. You were alive and safe and happy, and that's all he could ask for.
Shikamaru Nara
After the war, your vision had completely vanished. There were no blurry shapes or deaf perception problems because there was simply no sight.
There was no time to prepare. You hadn't planned on having to use the mangekyo so much in battle, and the price was astronomical.
He tried to help where he could, but you were being stubborn, constantly rejecting any aid he tried to provide.
"Just let me-"
"I told you I can do it myself."
"No, you can't, just let me-"
And that's when he felt the sobs rack through your body. Tears quickly fell down your face and your hands couldn't keep up.
He sighed and forced everything out of your hands.
"I can't do anything anymore."
"That's not true."
You scoffed, a bitter laugh leaving your lips.
"I can't go grocery shopping or cut fruit or put dishes away without running into everything or breaking something or,"
"Give it time. It'll get better."
"Two weeks ago, I was a shinobi. Today, I'm just a blind girl who can barely feed herself."
Shikamaru wasn't sure what to do. Strategy was easy becausebit was all factual. Feelings, though? So many variables he didn't know where to start.
He confided in Kakashi at some point, but wasn't too pleased with the advice he got it.
"Let her figure it out. She's a smart girl."
Despite thinking it was a stupid suggestion, he listened.
Slowly, over time, you'd regained your confidence and became the capable person you had previously been.
Doesn't stop Shikamaru from uncharacteristically babying you sometimes, though.
Sasuke Uchiha
He offered you his eyes, but you declined.
You weren't fond of Uchiha tradition despite being raised by it. Taking his eyes just felt like you'd be starting the new age Uchiha clan off on the wrong foot.
So you chose blindness.
It was difficult at first, but you quickly learned to get around and help yourself with little to no issue.
You'd gone from stumbling around the kitchen to making yourself breakfast within a few months.
Living with out sight wasn't too bad, and you'd grown accustomed to it. You felt like you'd made the right decision.
Until your first son was born.
It wasn't the parenting aspect that you found difficult, it was the emotional one.
When Sasuke told you your son looked just like Itachi, you knew you'd have to see for yourself.
So, you allowed Sakura to do the transplant.
Within seconds after the bandages were off and you had time to adjust to light, your sight was fully restored.
Sasuke brought in your baby, and wouldn't you know it? He looks exactly like Itachi.
The sharingan is based on strong emotions, yeah? Maybe you can base it on love in the new Era.
Naruto Uzumaki
Unlike the others, Naruto finds the whole eye transplant thing horrendous.
"What do you mean by that, huh? You freaks just trade eyes like around? That's the worst thing I've ever heard."
Although he wasn't happy with your newfound loss of sight, he wasn't one to label anything as a downside.
A setback? Sure. Negative? Never.
Hes overall very patient about it, even if in the moment he gets a little ahead of himself.
He's always forgetting that you're blind, so he'll ask you to look at things all the time.
"Hey, what's this?"
You just shrug. He may or may not bring your hand to the object to get a feel, but he mostly just gets embarrassed and drops it.
It honestly hadn't really dawned on him until he asked you to go train with him and you'd refused.
Sure, you could overtime work yourself up to be a shinobi again, but at this point in your life, that just wasn't the dream anymore.
Madara Uchiha
He thinks you're being stupid.
This world is all about power and you're choosing to be blind?
Idiotic.
You may be his wife, but he ignores you for quite some time after you make it clear there will be no eternal in your future.
It's an easy justification for him; he doesn't mingle with the weak.
Life gets pretty lonely after he decides to completely shut you out. Yeah, he sees Hashirama and makes his round through the compound, but it's not the same.
It isn't until he sees you in the village, going about life as you had months ago, that he starts to think maybe he was too hasty.
After all, he had married you for many reasons, and a big one was how skilled you were at adapting.
That night, when he finally returns home, he decides to sleep in your marital bed, not in the guest room.
The next day, he joins you for breakfast.
He came home early from his duties for the first time in a while.
He even started speaking to you once again.
You don't say anything right away. You know how he is about changing his mind, and you aren't willing to push your luck.
Things slowly get better over the span of a few weeks, and that's when you decide it's time to question him.
"I take it you've come to terms with my decision?"
"Of course not. I still think you're a fool."
Just the answer you'd expect.
"But I have missed you dearly."
You smile at him.
Hashirama Senju
The eternal was never something either of you had considered, so when your vision eventually dulled, it was fully expected.
Times were peaceful at the moment, so he had no need to worry for your safety.
You were almost always near someone willing to lay their life down for you- himself, Tobirama (reluctantly), or Madara - so there truly was no need to stress.
He helped as much as he could while also attending to his duties as Hokage.
Unlike Naruto, he had true patience. He happily held your hand every step of the way.
It wasn't long before your life was back on track, no longer burdened by the anxiety that came with cluelessness.
While Hashirama had preferred it never come to this in the first place, he was happy that things had worked out as best as they possibly could.
#naruto#naruto headcanons#naruto shippuden#naruto x reader#headcannons#kakashi fluff#kakashi hatake#kakashi headcanons#kakashi x reader#shikamaru x you#shikamaru x reader#shikamaru nara#shikamaru nara fluff#madara fluff#madara uchiha x reader#madara x reader#madara uchiha#madara uchiha x you#madara uchiha fluff#madara uchiha headcannons#hashirama senju#hashirama x reader#Hashirama x you#hashirama senju x reader#naruto uzumaki x reader#sasuke uchiha x you#sasuke uchiha fluff#sasuke uchiha x reader#sasuke x reader#sasuke uchiha
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smells like teen spirit (M)
PAIRING: Jeno (NCT) + reader (female)
SUMMARY: Jeno keeps getting on your last nerve, but you still end up in his arms with your tongue down his throat.
WARNINGS: strong language; some drug use; explicit sexual content
NOTES: 8.6k words; this is part two of a rose and her thorns, but can be read as a standalone one-shot
Chicago, 1991
A tale as old as time. Sex, drugs, and rock and roll.
That was our life that summer. Some of us in different doses than the others.
You sat on the bed with your legs bent, resting the notebook against your thighs as you scribbled out another page of the band’s escapades.
Though there was a connection with Mark, we agreed to keep things simple for the rest of the summer. Nothing could be allowed to interfere with the band. God forbid we earned a reputation like Fleetwood Mac’s.
Unfortunately, this agreement caused some awkwardness and I handled that the way I always did - with distance. If Mark couldn’t help but complicate things, then I would do him a favor and give both of us the space we needed.
It felt like shit, but I was used to being the villain.
Turning the page, you kept writing in the eerie quiet of the van. Haechan was bouncing his leg up-and-down at a mile a minute, thoroughly annoyed by Jeno’s delay. Mark was dozing in his seat, trying not to fantasize about you and the fucking heaven between your thighs, but he couldn’t help but watch you jotting down your feelings, your grievances, your hopes and your dreams.
He prayed that he was part of the latter.
The silence broke when the van door opened loudly, followed by a disheveled Jeno stumbling inside. “Goddamn, I am getting so much pussy on this trip,” he huffed, running a hand through his overgrown and severely damaged blond hair.
“Jeno, I swear to god,” you barked, scratching out the compliment you had given him at the top of the page. “If you give me an STD this summer, I will set your drums on fire.”
“You would destroy my child?”
“Abso-fucking-lutely.”
Jeno grumbled something under his breath about how you always rained on his parade of pussy and shut the doors. “Let’s get on the road,” he said irritably, shooing Haechan out of the driver’s seat and jerking the van in gear.
“We’ve been waiting for you, dumbass,” Haechan sniped. He’d been getting so annoyed and impatient he threatened to leave the bastard drummer behind and never look back. That bitch can walk, he’d declared moments before.
Mark stayed quiet in the passenger seat, sluggish with sleep. He looked to you again, watching you write in your journal and wondering what you were saying about him.
About all of them.
Jeno drove fast, but not a soul complained. The gig in Chicago was the most highly-anticipated of the trip.
The van hurtled down the highway, not stopping for several hours until you begged for a bathroom. After a quick gas station run, you put some fresh snacks into the cabinet and wrangled your hair into a bun on your head.
Jeno came in with a bag in hand and said, “I bought more condoms.”
“Good for you,” you deadpanned, wrinkling your nose.
“Although I heard Mark didn’t have to wear one,” Jeno added, tsking his tongue. “One of the few perks of being innocent and pure, I guess.”
Your voice was razor sharp. “Careful, Jeno.”
Both pleased and annoyed by your tone, Jeno asked roughly, “Did you at least remember to get your birth control?”
You wanted to shoot daggers into his face with your eyes, but refusing to afford him any looks was better. “Yeah. I got my Depo shot two days before we left.”
“How long does it last?”
“Three months.”
Jeno smiled wryly. “Well, isn’t that convenient.”
“That’s the whole point,” you mumbled. He was trying to get a reaction out of you, prodding at your buttons, but you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction.
There was a pause. “I’m ready when you are,” Jeno flirted, wiggling his brows at you.
“Who said I even wanna screw you?”
“You did. Many, many times.”
True, but no longer relevant. All things considered. You returned to your notebook and said, “That was before you became a penis petri dish of death and disease.”
“Ouch.”
My relationship with Jeno could best be described as rivalry. He never gave an inch and neither did I. It was my job to keep him humble.
And damn, what a full-time thankless job that was.
Jeno had been going out of his way to rile you up after your night with Mark. He couldn’t stand seeing you sulky. Mark’s pouting was beyond remedy, but yours could be managed with well-placed jabs.
He had you down to a science. Lighting a fire under your ass was all Jeno knew how to do. The more he prodded at you, the more flames escaped. And when you were angry, you couldn’t be sad.
Because there was nothing Jeno hated more than seeing you cry.
“Can you try to stay on beat this time?” Jeno chided, spinning a drumstick nimbly between his fingers.
Having been testing the microphone, you whipped around and snapped, “Fuck you, Jeno.”
An argument swiftly ensued, petty and heated. No surprises there. Mark and Haechan stood with their guitars and watched the back and forth with no end in sight, even as people poured into the club.
“Those two are going to kill each other,” Mark said under his breath.
Haechan scoffed. “Or make a ton of babies.”
Mark almost choked on the lump that shot into his throat.
You stomped over to Haechan, pointed at Jeno and said, “I can’t deal with this douche canoe anymore!”
To which Jeno shot back, “Just shut up and sing, ice crotch!”
Your eyes went wide with rage and you spun in Jeno’s direction, ready and willing to claw out his eyes. Haechan grabbed you by the arm and steered you back over to the microphone, officially sapped of all patience.
“In ten seconds, me and Mark are going to start playing,” he said hurriedly. “And both of you are going to look like losers if you’re not ready.”
You huffed a swear or two under your breath and gripped the microphone as Mark and Haechan got into position. Then you heard the tapping of drumsticks behind you followed by the roar of Mark’s electric guitar.
By the time the show was over, you were utterly exhausted. Between Haechan and Mark, your arms draped across their shoulders, the three of you sang tiredly along to one of your songs as the boys essentially dragged you down the hall toward the back door for some well-earned sleep.
Turning the corner, you saw Jeno with two beautiful blondes. You bristled with annoyance. They were giggling at every little thing he said like they were getting dick after, which you quickly realized was the case.
Not on my watch.
“Let it go,” Haechan said, but he knew it would make no difference.
Jeno did not deserve pussy after how badly he stressed you out. You wriggled out of Haechan and Mark’s arms and made a beeline for the drummer.
“Oh my god,” you said in a loud, obnoxious voice, greeting the girls as you cuddled up to Jeno and patted his chest. “You guys look so cute! But unfortunately, Jeno is only halfway through his chlamydia treatment.”
Wide-eyed, the girls looked at you in horror before sending vengeful expressions at Jeno, who set his jaw and bristled with anger.
You held your hand beside your mouth, pretending to whisper a secret, “Very contagious through bodily fluids.”
The pair of blondes scurried off. One of them gave Jeno the finger.
“I hate and despise you,” Jeno hissed, trudging down the corridor.
You were hot on his heels, ready to resume the argument from earlier. A moniker like Ice Crotch was not going to be forgotten. “Haven’t you had enough threesomes?”
“There’s no such thing as too many threesomes,” Jeno replied, heated. “And I’ve only had four.”
Haechan asked curiously, “You keep track?”
Jeno snorted. “Don’t you?”
“One is easy to remember. I wasn’t into it.”
Mark fell in line beside them and said, more so to himself, “I have questions.”
“I don’t,” you spoke up, backhanding Jeno’s burly arm to get his attention. “Jeno, you’ve got pussy brain and you fucked up the tempo.”
Jeno went quiet, which was the last thing you expected.
Everyone was tired and raw. We were a well-oiled machine, steaming ahead like a freight train, but with time, gears start to grind. When gears grind, they tear through flesh and bone.
I know my boys. It sounds cliche, and I agree, but I know them. We’ve been friends for so long and crossed hundreds of lines of intimacy reserved for soulmates. They can’t hide anything from me.
Especially the things they intentionally try to hide from me.
You knew you had struck a nerve, but you weren’t sure which one. You dug your heels in regardless, but you were miffed when Jeno said nothing and made for the door.
“Did he just storm off?” Mark questioned, equally bemused.
“He never does that,” Haechan said softly, turning to you.
You didn’t hesitate to stomp after him, and Mark and Haechan didn’t follow this time. When fire fought with fire, it was best to keep a distance to avoid getting burned.
The cold of Chicago’s night was bitter on your cheeks when you stepped outside and you pulled your jacket tightly round you. Jeno hadn’t jumped into the van yet. He was lingering in the lot, scraping his shoes across the asphalt as he puffed on a cigarette.
Closing the distance, you called, “The hell is going on with you?”
“Nothing,” he replied, avoiding your eyes and blowing out smoke.
“You’re out of sync and you’re acting weird.”
Jeno narrowed his eyes at you. “We were all out of sync tonight. Why am I the only one getting called out on it?”
As usual, no matter how angry he made you, your first instinct when things were too tense was to smooth his feathers. His surface was rough, but at his core, Jeno was tender. You brushed your hand down his arm and said sweetly, “Because you’re the rock…”
"We’re all built on," was going to be the end of that sentence. Unfortunately, I never got to say it.
Jeno cut you off. “I don’t want to be your rock,” he lashed out, hissing your name. “Don’t you feel pathetic leaning on me all the time?”
You recoiled like you’d been slapped and that was when you noticed his eyes. They didn’t belong to the Jeno you knew, but to the monster that stole his mind and would eventually give him back by morning.
Wrapping your arms around yourself in comfort, suddenly much colder than before, your breath pillared into the night like the smoke from his mouth when you whispered, “I didn’t. Until you said that.”
Jeno blinked, realizing too late that he’d hurt you.
That was the thing about me and Jeno. We both thought the other to be fearless and unbreakable, but also knew who we were at each other’s cores. I was his mirror image and he was mine. The broken kids; the kids that just wanted to be loved. The pair everyone knew to be demons, but never stopped to think how we became them.
The fallen angels.
Anger faded from his face in an instant. “I didn’t mean it,” Jeno started, flicking away the cigarette and reaching for you.
You stepped back, not wanting to be touched. “You’re at your most honest when you’re high, baby,” you said sternly, fixing him with a look that rooted Jeno in place. “Don’t lie to me now.”
Jeno swallowed the lump in his throat. How could you always see right through him?
You wiped the tear that spilled down your cheek and escaped into the van, your safe place, your little haven. Jeno ran a hand down his face and cursed, “Fuck,” for hitting you where it hurt.
The rest of the night was tense and awkward, only slacking when sleep took hold. Everyone was painfully exhausted. Chicago had exceeded expectations and pushed all limits. The show was insane. The energy was incredible. I would remember that performance for the rest of my life.
Me and the boys may have been a little out of sync, but each of us gave it our all. We left nothing on the floor and held nothing back.
Haechan curled around you in the bed, keeping you warm. You claimed the bed together more often than not. Mark slept like a vampire, on his back on the floor with his arms at his sides. It was the weirdest thing you’d ever seen, but it worked for him somehow. He slept like a baby, the whistle of his snores filling the van.
Jeno sat in the driver’s seat, looking up at the stars, exhaling the smoke from a joint. He was wide awake, couldn’t sleep. An unfortunate side-effect of the shit he took to get high. The marijuana wasn’t simmering him down as hoped. He’d probably stay up all night and sleep the day away.
Glancing over his shoulder, seeing your pretty face made him smile. You looked even cuter when you slept, but it was frustrating as hell.
No one else noticed he was high but you. Did you really know him that well?
Of course she does, Jeno thought. You were his better half. That’s how it worked. He could never escape you. There was a point of no return when it came to intimacy. Not so long ago, you and Jeno soared past that point. Two reckless teenagers, young and wild, that found all their highs and lows with each other.
Jeno propped his legs up on the dash and closed his eyes, watching the memories like a movie in his head. Mark shredded the electric as if his life was on the line; probably to vent his sexual frustration. Haechan was a whirlwind of energy despite playing that boring ass bass. And you, beautiful you… Mark wasn’t kidding when he said you were a god on stage.
Chicago delivered on the show, but not the after-party. Instead of drinking and fucking the night away, Jeno was in the stuffy van watching the stars go by when he wasn’t stealing glances of you. He wanted to be in your arms, needed you to kiss him and tell him everything would be okay.
You were the fix he craved most of all.
In the time it took him to blink, dawn broke. The sun shone across Jeno’s face. He lifted a hand, shielding his eyes. He grumbled a little and turned in the seat to get comfortable, cursing at the awkward angle his back was in.
Your hand touched his shoulder gently and Jeno lurched in surprise, peering up at you. He’d never looked so weary and drained, but you could see the animal was gone from his eyes. “You’ve been up all night?” Your voice rang with compassion, and Jeno felt utterly undeserving.
He nodded, his eyes fluttering closed, unable to keep them open any longer.
You tugged at him, getting Jeno to his feet and ushering him to the bed, where he basically collapsed onto the mattress. Mark and Haechan were up, crawling around in search of coffee like a pair of zombies. Meanwhile, you let Jeno situate and draped the blanket over him, tucking him in, and brushed some of his hair back from his face.
Jeno took your hand and laced his fingers through yours. “Tell me you love me,” he said in barely a whisper.
“I love you,” you replied without hesitation, bringing his hand to your lips and kissing his knuckles. You stayed propped over him, wanting to be close so you could be sure he finally drifted off. You left a chaste kiss on his brow and coaxed, “Go to sleep, baby.”
Mark turned away. It wasn’t jealousy he felt, just longing. Seeing you so gentle with someone you were viciously fighting with the night before made him want you more. No matter what was said and done, there was too much love in this cramped little van.
When Jeno’s breathing leveled out and his hand went slack in yours, you finally relaxed. You’d be damned if he went days without sleep. There wasn’t much you could do, but the boys had their limits and you did your best to make sure they weren’t crossed.
Without another word, you clambered into the driver’s seat and turned the key, driving out of the club parking lot and onto the main road. You found a shopping center where Mark and Haechan could run errands while Jeno was out, and you pulled in.
Jeno slept well into the afternoon, stirring when the smell of hot food filled the van. Haechan used some of the gig money to splurge on delicious Chinese takeout.
You pulled out a foldable table from behind the cabinet and stood it up on the floor. The four of you sat around it and ate in silence, stuffing your faces until your bellies were full. You and Haechan gabbed a little, but not much. Mark and Jeno didn’t mutter a single word, both of them stuck in their feelings.
A far cry from how they would be that night.
One last show in Chicago. You were back on the same stage as before. It was the first time the band would perform an additional night at a club.
Jeno and Mark were squabbling, which was a rare enough sight to see. The two generally didn’t like to fuck with each other. It always resulted in fists flying and both were surprisingly really good at scrapping.
You looked to Haechan and rolled your eyes. Your best friend was smiling, on the verge of a laugh.
“We’re doing the third set,” Jeno said firmly.
“She can’t,” Mark replied, anger rising. “Her voice is fried from last night. The third set could knock it out for weeks and we’ll have no singer.”
Jeno shrugged. “She can take it.”
You were thoroughly annoyed. “She’s standing right here,” you spoke up, folding your arms. The audacity they had. It made you bristle, because you knew it had nothing to do with your voice and had everything to do with your body.
“What do you want to do?” Mark asked, softening his voice for you.
Jeno cut in, “Don’t ask her. You have to push her.”
You shot him a nasty scowl. “Stop pushing me.”
“Or what?” He smirked.
You shivered with irritation crossing dangerously toward rage.
“I don’t think you can do the third set,” Jeno said, challenging you, his smirk deepening. “Prove me wrong.”
“I’m not falling for that reverse psychology bullshit.”
“Coward.”
A smug look washed over your face as you hissed, “Don’t you feel pathetic leaning on me?”
The smile fell off Jeno’s lips. “I said I was sorry.”
“Don’t bother. I don’t care,” you snapped, but you definitely cared. The wound was still fresh and stung.
Haechan tilted his head when you looked at him. He was always your anchor in the rough seas of Mark and the violent winds of Jeno. “I’m with you, whatever you choose,” he said.
If I ever walked off that stage, my boys would follow. No questions asked. They would follow me into hell and back. Though the four of us would probably just live there indefinitely.
You straightened your shoulders and your tone left no room for argument. “We’re doing the third set.”
Jeno beamed victoriously. Haechan nodded. Mark gave a look mixed between concern and awestruck.
You sang until you were spent; brutally, wholly, and everything in between. Your legs felt like jelly when you walked off stage and your chest ached, lungs taut. The adrenaline, like a performance-enhancing drug, had run its course and you were officially on empty.
It wasn’t unlike you to push yourself to the absolute limit. You loved the stage. You worshiped the power that surged from your voice when you sang into the mic. Pipes for days, Haechan always said.
The dressing room was a sight for sore eyes. You dropped heavily onto one of the sofas and let your head fall back, closing your eyes. Your throat felt like you’d swallowed razors.
“Try not to talk,” Haechan said, holding up his hand when you shot him an irritated look. “I’m not telling you to be quiet. I’m suggesting you let your voice rest.”
You nodded and sunk back into the sofa again.
Mark was vibrating, the energy of the show still pulsing through him. Brimming with energy (the excess turning into courage), he walked over to you and bent down, pressing a lingering kiss to your brow.
You smiled, knowing it was Mark without opening your eyes.
Jeno finally deigned to grace the rest of you with his presence, bursting into the dressing room and exclaiming, “Holy shit, you killed it!”
“And this is where you take all the credit,” you rasped, wincing at the sound of your own voice.
“I’ll wait till you go to bed and then I’ll take all the credit.”
You lifted your head and narrowed your eyes at him. “Don’t you have some ass to chase?”
Jeno licked his lips. “Nah. I only got eyes for you right now.”
“Pluck them out for all I care.”
“You wanna fuck me so bad you look stupid.”
You waved him away, settling down and closing your eyes again, and wheezed, “Have fun with your hand.”
Haechan sat beside you, picking up your legs and draping them over his lap. “I’ve never seen you so mad at him.”
“He just doesn’t stop,” you huffed. “You know when to leave me alone. Mark never pushes my buttons. Jeno just keeps fucking digging.”
Haechan chuckled. “That’s all he knows how to do.”
“Whatever.” You shrugged, feigning indifference.
Mark suddenly asked, “Do you love him?”
You sighed. “I love all three of you. He’s definitely my least favorite though.”
Mark gleamed proudly at Jeno, who scowled back.
“So, if we were drowning, who would you save first?” Haechan asked mischievously.
“Mark. Obviously.”
Mark’s grin widened, while Haechan gasped and put a hand over his heart like it was the ultimate betrayal.
“You can swim,” you said, patting Haechan’s arm over your legs. You opened your eyes and gave Jeno a vicious sneer. “Jeno’s the only one drowning.”
Jeno’s lips squared into a frown.
“What’s that mean?” Mark asked curiously, but Haechan stayed silent. He knew.
“Leave it,” Jeno warned, darker than ever.
The three of you did. Unlike Jeno, you knew when to quit.
Some people did drugs. Others did rock music. A few did both.
The boys dispersed momentarily. You were relieved when the dressing room was empty, leaving you to your thoughts and the searing pain in your vocal chords. Rubbing at your eyes, smearing your makeup, you didn’t hear someone come back in as you muttered to yourself, “God, my throat fucking hurts.”
“It’s probably raw as shit,” Jeno said, making you jolt. And roll your eyes. He cleared his throat and switched his tone to add, “Speaking of raw…”
“No.”
“You let Mark in raw,” he whined loudly.
You cut him a glare. “I wouldn’t let you raw me if you were the last man on earth.”
Jeno pouted. “Ow.”
With a scoff, you decided to turn the tables on him. “Why are you so hard for me the past few days? I can’t even brush my teeth without you humping the air around me.”
There was no shame to be found in Jeno. “I haven’t had you in weeks,” he groaned.
Your lips parted in surprise. “You’ve had every other girl in the country.”
“It’s not the same.”
You stood and crept close to him, close enough to ghost your lips over his mouth. Jeno went boneless, every inch of him fixated to you and what you would do next. He wanted you so bad he couldn’t see straight. So, you decided to yank the metaphorical rug out from under him, sniping, “You’re pathetic.”
“Are you really going to hold that against me forever?” Jeno asked, tensing.
No. It was just easier to be mad at him. That was the only way I could have some defense against the power he had over me.
“I’ll make you a deal,” you said, sliding your hands over his shoulders and winding your fingers into his hair. “Answer one question for me and I’ll forgive you.”
Jeno was one more breath away from kissing you. He knew it was a trap. You were luring him in and he was happy to swallow the bait. “Fine,” he replied in a husky voice, eyes on your lips. “Ask your damn question.”
“What are you taking?”
“What do you mean?”
You hardened your gaze on him and tugged on his hair. “Don’t play that with me. I know better.”
Jeno studied you a moment. You would keep yanking this thread until it unraveled. He pushed, you pulled. The two of you could play tug-of-war with each other’s heartstrings forever. Jeno decided it was better to rip the bandage off and get it over with it.
He reached to the back pocket of his jeans, pulled out a bag, and handed it out to you.
You took a split-second look at the bag and your jaw dropped, your arms falling as you snatched it quickly. “Cocaine? Are you fucking kidding me, Jeno?”
Jeno stole the bag back in the time it took you to blink, returning it to the safety of his pocket. “We’re supposed to do drugs,” he defended, rather unconvincingly. “We’re rockstars.”
“We’re teenagers that just graduated high school with barely enough cash for fuel and chips!”
“How I spend my cut of the money is my business,” Jeno shot back.
“This isn’t about the money.” You folded your arms, scolding him like a mother would a child; oscillating between angry and worried. “You know how dangerous that shit is.”
Jeno shifted his approach too, ever your mirror. “It’s the only way I can perform, babe. If I don’t have it, I can’t focus and I get too nervous.”
You softened even more, like Jeno knew you would. “We can get you something else,” you said gently. “Something better. Safer.”
He scoffed. “With our gas and chips money?”
You sighed, accepting a temporary defeat, but you pressed, “You’re doing it to get high. Not to concentrate.”
Jeno went slack, equally defeated, and reached for your waist. “I’m just trying to have a good time. We know this won’t last. We’re going nowhere.”
You lowered your head. “I know.”
The summer was half over and we hadn’t been scouted. Hope was replaced with disappointment and eventually, disappointment would flip to resentment. We never put it into words, but it was like a cloud following us, day and night.
Jeno took your face in his hands and tipped your chin up until you met his eyes. “Let me have this summer,” he whispered sadly. “Mark got you. I got this.”
Something inside you broke a little.
Yes, when the summer was over, you were Mark’s.
But the summer wasn’t over.
Jeno smiled in surprise when he felt the warmth of your lips on his, but he didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you and deepen the kiss. Feeling the heat of your body against his was what he’d been craving, wanting you to burn him alive.
My first instinct always was to comfort him. I would chip away at myself and give him every piece if it meant he could use them to stitch his wounds.
Believe it or not, Jeno was my first love, but a first love at fifteen means nothing in the grand scheme of things. He was my first everything, but we just didn’t work. No matter how hard we tried. There was a mad and intense connection between us, inseverable, but in the confines of a relationship, we were wild animals forced together in a cage.
I know few will understand us. Hell, even I don’t understand how I could have so much passion and fire for someone that stretched me thin and forever kept me at the brink of insanity.
But I was beyond questioning it.
Jeno slipped his tongue in your mouth and you grabbed his hips, pulling him flush against you. His kisses were surpassing hungry and landing somewhere near ravenous. The intensity must have scared him, because Jeno suddenly parted from you and took a step back.
You rubbed your lips bashfully, not realizing you were panting until it was the only sound in the quiet dressing room. And Jeno was breathing just as heavily.
“What’s wrong?”
Jeno shook his head. “I want you so bad.”
You snickered. Here you were on a silver platter and he was the one that put distance between you.
Though you opened your mouth to say something snarky, Jeno spoke up, “But you’re going to leave me.”
Your heart sank. It dawned on you; this summer was the end to a lot of things. Youth was ending. The band was ending and with it, all of your dreams.
And the tie between me and Jeno would have to finally be severed so my life with Mark could start.
“I’m sorry,” you murmured. You didn’t want to think about Jeno and his broken heart. Or that the drugs you scolded him over were what he used to fill the void you left behind.
Jeno respected the hell out of you for having the strength to leave him. He never could walk away from you even though he knew it was for the best. You would spend your whole life trying to fix him while he would always use you as a crutch.
It wasn’t fair to either you or him.
“Mark is good for you,” Jeno said in barely a whisper, his eyes glistening.
You shook your head. “I don’t want to talk about Mark.”
Jeno swallowed the lump in his throat. Seeing his pain reflected back at him on your face was too much. “Get high with me.”
Your eyes went wide. “Why?”
“You’re my person,” he said, vulnerable. “The only one I’ve ever wanted to do it with.”
This was what you struggled to put into words - the hold this boy had on you. He was bottomless ocean depths.
“It’s always you and me. We do everything together,” Jeno continued, reaching for your hand and leaving a kiss on your knuckles.
You let him pull you back into his arms and asked, “What if I die?”
“I’ll bring you back,” he whispered, pressing a tender kiss to your brow that completely melted you.
“What if you die?”
“Let me go.”
Your eyes suddenly shone with the threat of tears. “Never.”
Jeno leaned into you, stealing a kiss from your lips. “Just this once, babe.”
You paused, thinking it over. Everything inside you screamed, “Yes!” Jeno never failed to bring this side out of you - the reckless, starved one that didn’t give a damn about consequences. You always feared if that was the real you, the true you. “Just this once,” you said quietly, closing your eyes as Jeno sealed his lips to yours again.
The idea of getting high reached out to you with gentle, caressing fingertips, promising to banish the pain and numb the hurt.
Tearing himself away from you once more, Jeno walked over to the door and locked it.
Yet another first time with Jeno to add to my list.
You were caught off-guard at how fast the high kicked in and never before had you noticed how tense your body was until it wasn’t anymore. Your mind was even lighter. There was no more torment. You could feel that it was there, but it didn’t ache any longer.
The sensation was indescribable. You were whole, perfect, immortal and invincible all at once.
And that was how you found yourself on the couch with Jeno, pawing at each other like animals in heat.
“Jeno?”
“I know.”
You sucked in a breath as he nipped at your neck and asked weakly, “Am I going crazy?”
“Babe,” he said, meeting your eyes with a smirk. “You been crazy.”
You laughed and the sound was music to Jeno’s ears, making his smile widen.
Time blurred together. It could have been the next day or the next year for all you cared. All you knew was this moment with Jeno and how it lasted a lifetime.
You sank deeper into the sofa beneath Jeno’s weight. Your thighs were hooked on his hips, hands roaming his taut, muscly back. Both your shirt and his tee were somewhere on the floor, along with your bra.
Jeno kept grinding into you, each movement rougher than the last. “Fuck,” he swore, lips brushing your ear. “I just know you’re getting so fucking wet right now.”
He wasn’t wrong.
A wanton noise of pleasure escaped you and Jeno ate it up. You were burning by a thousand degrees, it was almost painful. You had never craved someone’s body on such a primal level before.
With Mark, it was love, but this? This was lust running wild with abandon.
The doorknob wiggled. You didn’t hear it over the loud thumping in your ears and neither did Jeno, who was far too busy bruising your neck whilst he kneaded your breasts, pinching your nipples to make you squirm. Haechan didn’t need to try the knob again to know what was going on. He turned to Mark, who was coming down the hall, and led him away.
“They’re working out their issues. Let’s get the hell out of here,” he said hurriedly. Mark hesitated, but didn’t argue. He was none the wiser. With the way you and Jeno had been at each other’s throats, it never crossed his mind that you would fuck him.
Meanwhile, you were discovering new uncharted levels of arousal, undulating beneath Jeno, trying to match his movements, which were getting faster and harder. The drugs in your system made everything feel more intense, all-consuming. There was no tension, no insecurity, just instinct and pleasure.
Jeno was definitely waiting for you to give him the green light, and you were enjoying keeping it from him, but the throbbing between your legs was unbearable.
You planted your hands on his thick chest and pushed, making Jeno prop over you and look into your face. “Wanna fuck now?” you asked sheepishly.
His pupils dilated. “I thought you’d never ask.”
You whined when Jeno clambered off of you, standing next to the sofa and unfastening his pants. Before he drew them down his thighs, he pulled condoms from his pocket and dropped them on your lap.
“Two?” You snorted. “My lucky day.”
“One for each girl. You know, the ones you chased away from me.”
Licking your lips as his hard cock sprang into view, you grabbed him by the hips and purred, “I called first dibs on that dick years ago.”
Jeno chuckled, but his expression changed on a dime when you leaned in. He watched you drag your lips over his abs, kissing and nibbling along his happy trail. His breaths stuttered as he said, “Whenever you want it, it’s all yours.”
You peeked up at him hotly. “I want it now.”
While Jeno fitted himself with a condom, you shimmied out of your pants and underwear, and the moment they were on the floor, you turned onto your knees, braced yourself on the arm of the sofa, and arched your back, sticking your ass in the air.
He wouldn’t be able to resist it for a second.
“Fuck you,” Jeno hissed, getting into position behind you and raking his cock between your folds, gathering your slick from tip to base.
You wiggled your hips. Your brain was clouded with lust and drugs, and something purely hungry for Jeno. Like he was your favorite meal. “Gimme it,” you huffed, glancing over your shoulder. “What the fuck is taking so long?”
Jeno gave your ass a smack, making you squeak. “You need to calm down,” he chided with a grin, still sliding his length between your slit. He was so riled up his hips jerked against you involuntarily.
You reached between your legs, getting a hand around his dick and steering it into your aching pussy. Jeno let you, biting his lip and smirking at how goddamn horny you were for him.
The head of his cock pressed into your entrance and you grasped the arm of the sofa with both hands as Jeno began thrusting forward, working himself inside until he impaled you on every last inch of his girthy cock. You buried your face in the couch, biting down on the stressed leather.
Jeno gripped your waist tight and drew you to him until he was balls deep in your tight heat, feeling your walls stretch and flutter around his length. The drugs amplified everything about you; your warmth, your scent, your sounds. He barely noticed the condom at all.
When he drew back and shoved his cock back into your cunt, you lifted your head and cried, “Fuck!”
“You’re so wet,” Jeno growled, sinking in and out to hear your slick pussy welcoming him back.
You whimpered. “Fuck you and that big dick,” you mumbled, but you didn’t mean a word of it. You weren’t sure how much you could blame the drugs anymore. You wanted him to plow the living shit out of you until there was nothing left.
Jeno took that personally. As a challenge more than anything. He squeezed your waist in his hands and smacked his hips into your ass, driving his cock into your core and giving you something to really whine about.
It was all you could do not to scream as he took you for all you were worth. You fisted the couch in your hands until your knuckles ached and you threw yourself back to meet his strokes, a noise escaping on your hoarse throat with every rushed breath. Sex was a drug all its own. It just felt too damn good.
Jeno kept his hard pace, making sure he landed flush against your heat every time, and brushed his hands up your body to wrap them around your throat and tip your head back. “Yeah, that’s my good slut,” he taunted, the smack of his body colliding with yours getting louder. “She’s taking all that dick, huh?”
The sounds you made were humiliating, but they only made Jeno harder. His grip on your neck had you slack-jawed, your eyes winched closed. Fuck him. Fuck him. Fuck him!
It wasn’t fair that he had that kind of power over my body. With him, I felt desired and powerful, and between that - untainted. Unbroken. Jeno never saw me for the damaged goods that I was. To him, I was always perfect. He completed me. No matter how unhealthy it was, I wanted it.
I didn’t need drugs. Jeno’s love was my high.
“Don’t stop,” you choked out, his hands heavy on your strained vocal chords. “Don’t ever stop...”
Loving me. Though the words wouldn’t come, Jeno knew them.
“Never, baby,” Jeno said, releasing your throat in favor of your waist, draping himself over you and burying his face in your neck. His hands wandered your breasts as he plunged in as far as he could go and stopped, leaving a few scattered, reassuring kisses across your shoulders.
Your body trembled when he bottomed out, aching with need and overstimulation. You swallowed to wet your throat, panting for air, and asked, “Why are you…?”
“You’re so fucking high, baby,” Jeno crooned, touching you gently and affectionately. “Just trust me.”
He was right. You were high on drugs and his body. You were a nerve laid bare, every brush of his hands enough to make you shiver. Your body pulsated, like you were being dangled over the edge, the pressure becoming too much to bear.
You held yourself up on hands and knees, tortured by the fact he was no longer moving inside you, but his hands playing with your breasts and his lips on your neck had your attention. The stimulation was sending more shudders across your skin, making you lean into his touch as your core throbbed for him.
“Part of you will always be mine,” Jeno whispered into your neck. “I know you’ll pick him over me, but part of you will always miss me.”
You tensed with unshed tears and cried, “I know.”
“I need you to know it’s okay,” Jeno said, turning your head and kissing you with so much pain and pleasure it knocked the wind out of you.
You kissed him back, reaching up to thread your fingers into his hair. It was a cruel curse - to love someone so deeply that was bad for you.
Jeno broke the kiss and rocked gently into you, staying in deep and lilting his cock inside your walls, the head of him kissing your cervix. Normally, you would have pushed at his hips for some mercy, but the high made you impervious to pain.
Suddenly, he thrust in hard but slow, arching his hips. You staggered out a moan and reached out to steady yourself, almost knocked off balance by his strength.
He did it again and again.
Tears pricked at your eyes. Jeno was hitting you with those drawn-out, domineering strokes, making you feel every inch of him slam against your sweet spot. He may have agreed to never hold you choosing Mark over him against you, but he was going to give you one final reminder of how absolute his control of your body was.
“I’m coming,” you warned, his name a mantra on your tongue as you took all he had to give. You were grateful for the roar of music coming from the other side of the wall, drowning out your cries and Jeno’s moans.
Jeno fisted a hand in your hair while the other still tugged and rolled your nipples. He kept his pace, hips slapping into your ass at a perfect rhythm, knowing you were on the edge of orgasm with the way your walls clamped down on his cock.
“Fuck!” Another brutal thrust sent you into ecstasy. You shook and swore, trying to crawl away from him, but Jeno was on you, shoving you into the couch and riding out your high.
“Good girl,” Jeno hissed, watching you writhe beneath him. He went still and tipped his head back, letting out a tiny moan.
You blinked to clear your eyes. You could feel the bruises forming in your skin as Jeno pinned you to the couch. It only turned you on more. When you realized he was still hard, that he hadn’t come, you mumbled under your breath. He was supposed to finish with you.
Jeno’s eyes flickered. Another moan escaped him as you rolled your hips, desperate for friction. He drifted his hands to your hair, gathering it all in his fists.
You sat up and went to work, fucking him as best you could in your position. Despite the condom, your pussy wanted to milk every drop of cum out of his dick. Post-nut clarity hadn’t set in. Either the drugs or the orgasm made you even more feral for this dumb boy.
“Oh, fuck,” Jeno groaned, watching you throw it back, bouncing your ass on him, taking him like a fucking champ. His abs tightened as he tried not to pound the fuck out of you. Instead, he reeled his hand back and slapped your ass, goading you.
“Come for me, baby,” you said darkly, the room echoing with the loud, wet clap of your bodies meeting.
Jeno growled a low curse in this throat. Suddenly he was on the edge, driven by your command and that tight fucking cunt.
You shrieked in surprise when he flipped you over roughly, the sound devolving into a moan when he steered his cock back into your pussy, grabbed your waist, and drilled into you like he would never get the chance again.
He didn’t last long at that pace. Jeno threw his head back and came, one moan after another tumbling from his pretty mouth, each one more ragged than the last as he emptied himself into the condom.
You brushed your hands over his thighs and hips, whispering little nothings as he came, feeling him shake like a leaf as he buried himself inside you. Once Jeno settled down, you touched his chest and asked, “Holy shit. Are you okay?”
“I’m good,” he wheezed, voice cracking, all the air knocked out of him.
Biting your lip to fight a laugh, you failed to hide the smug grin taking over your face.
“Don’t,” Jeno said weakly, rubbing at his eyes.
“You just came so hard you cried,” you teased, pinching his nipple for good measure.
“Don’t make fun of me.”
Feeling him about to pull out, you reached for his waist and held him there, joking, “I will remember this, forever and ever, and I will bring it up every time you get on my nerves.”
“You’re the worst.” He sobered, leaning in close. “And you’re the best I've ever had.”
You smiled as he kissed you, sealing his words on your lips. Then you giggled as his mouth traveled over your chest, sucking on a nipple. Your buds were still stiff and Jeno couldn’t resist.
“I see how easy it is to get addicted,” you said when Jeno got up to discard the condom. “That shit is intense.”
“Told you.”
Sitting up, you ran your hands through your messy hair. You could only imagine how you looked; makeup smeared, glistening with sweat. “You know you have to stop,” you told him, making your voice gentle.
Jeno afforded you no looks. “Eventually.”
You were too tired to argue, sore and spent in the best ways. When Jeno returned to the couch, you welcomed him with open arms, pulling him close and steering him to lay his head on your naked chest. You stroked your fingers through his hair and over his broad shoulders, and whispered, “I’ll never let you die, Jeno.”
He stayed quiet.
“You’re not allowed to leave me.”
“Stalker.”
You snorted back a laugh. “You know what I mean.”
“I do.” Jeno lifted his head and nuzzled your cheek, teasing, “I just think it’s cute how obsessed you are with me.”
You kept touching him. His skin was just so hot beneath your fingertips, like caressing an open flame. “Are you really okay with dying?” you asked after a moment.
Jeno shrugged. “It’s unavoidable. I don’t see the point in sweating over it.” As he spoke, Jeno kissed at your neck slowly, curious if he could get you riled up again.
Your lashes fluttered and you shifted underneath him. Though he left you more than satisfied, the longer he kissed over your pulse and palmed your breasts, the quicker the ache in your core came back, ready to be filled up again.
Jeno reached down to cup your sex, running his finger over your swollen clit and swearing under his breath when he felt your soaked entrance, thinking how easily he could slide right back in and make you feel good. Both of you.
“If you died,” you stammered, struggling to form words as he touched you. “I don’t think I would ever smile again.”
Jeno was caught off-guard. He stopped pawing at you to look in your eyes, wondering if you realized just how heavy a thing that was to say. “That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me,” he told you innocently, kissing the corner of your mouth with affection.
It was the first time you’d seen him so serious. Not hiding behind his usual humor.
Jeno was surprised when you pushed him away and reached for your pants on the floor. He watched curiously as you rifled through your pocket and withdrew a balled-up piece of paper and handed it to him.
“For the memoir?”
You nodded, watching him unfurl the page, your heart thumping harshly in your chest. “Yeah, I’m constantly jotting stuff down.”
Jeno’s eyes drifted over your words.
I can’t stand him. He infuriates me. He makes me crazy. But Jeno is the one person that knows me - the good and the bad, and accepts them both.
I love my boys, but he’s the one I don’t think I could ever live without.
Jeno peered at you with glassy eyes, shining with tears. “Damn it,” he groaned, crashing his lips on yours.
As expected, you made use of that second condom.
Jeno hooked your legs in the crooks of his arms and thrust languidly, staring down at you. Your eyes never parted as he gave you release once more, knowing when the summer was over, he would never get to touch you again.
When all was said and done, the two of you slumped into opposite sides of the sofa, soaked with sweat. Once you caught your breath and Jeno returned from tossing the condom, it was your turn to clamber on top of him, using his chest as your pillow. You rested your head on his shoulder and traced senseless patterns over his collarbone with your fingertips.
Jeno said your name. “I want you to be happy. That’s all I want, but I know I can’t give it to you. I tried.”
You closed your eyes. It would keep the tears at bay. “I know.”
“I feel sorry for you, loving all three of us. It can’t be easy.”
“It’s what I was made for,” you said softly, tightening your arms around him, lest he fly away from you and never return.
Jeno changed subjects before it broke him. “I’ve never felt so self-aware of how it feels to be young. And how it doesn’t last long.”
You nodded slightly. “This time is precious.”
“I wouldn’t say precious. Definitely fun though.”
You snickered, relieved to hear his humor coming back, but a somber feeling rushed over you. “Do you think we’ll ever get tired of it?”
“Of what?”
“The performing, the fucking, and… the drugs.”
Jeno paused. “You mean each other.”
You sighed tersely. There was no hiding it from him.
My biggest fear was that my boys would hate me. That I would be a bitter reminder of what could have been, how close we were to our dreams before crash landing back on earth, broken and bruised forever from the fall.
Jeno brushed his fingers up and down your back, and kissed the top of your head. “I don’t think we’ll resent each other if this fails, babe,” he said in a low voice. Some things just aren’t meant to be, he thought sadly. Like you and me.
“If that happened, I think I would die,” you whimpered, burrowing your face in his chest.
“Don’t talk like that,” Jeno said, running his hand mischievously over your thigh. “But stop being so afraid of death. You’ll waste your life running from something that is going to catch you no matter what.”
You tipped your head back to kiss him. “I just know the devil dreads meeting us. We’ll steal his throne.”
Jeno kissed you back hotly. “Hell yeah. I can’t wait to fuck you on it.”
You laughed.
Hard to steal something that already belongs to you, Jeno.
Copyright 2020-2024 © yutaholic (formerly zenyukhei) All rights reserved do not copy or translate without my permission!
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Hey, so i'm working on my first WIP, and i wanted to ask about drafting. When can one consider their first draft done? Does it have to have the goal word count (ie; 100K), or would being about halfway there be considered a good enough first draft, that i can move on to the second and start editing?
Concluding each stage of the writing process
It's difficult to know when a phase of a writing project has concluded and you're ready to focus on a new objective as it's developing. I tend to approach my writing projects with a clear and uniform trajectory, regardless of how diverse my projects can be. This approach allows me to remain focused, thorough, and reassured that I am covering all my bases in an organized fashion. However, it also maintains space for me to be explorative and intuitive when necessary. In regards to word count, I don't think it's entirely relevant unless you're determined to adhere to strict genre conventions. Give your story the space it needs and not an extra inch.
(Optional) Zero Draft
In this phase, you're telling yourself the story. You're doing it quickly, messily, intuitively, and forgivingly. Explore every idea that glows in the dark for you, don't throw anything away or discount any possibility. Exhaust your imagination in this phase so that when you reach the first draft, you know you're making informed decisions.
First Draft
You're crafting the structure and core elements of the story. This is often the phase of discovery. You're becoming acquainted with your characters and how they interact, you're beginning to feel at home in the world and settings you've built, and you're seeing all sides of the conflict as it evolves. The goal here is settle on a beginning, middle, and end point, and by the end of this process you want to know your characters' motivations and relationships inside and out.
Second Draft
Go back quickly through the first draft and address any points where you got stuck, where you compromised for the sake of carrying on to the end, and fill in any apparent blanks. The first time you really iron something out, there will always be a few pesky creases. This is the time to find and flatten them.
Third Draft
This is where you question everything. Identify and scrutinize your decisions, dive into the "curtains are blue" discussions with yourself, and begin to tidy up things like grammar, clumsy dialogue, over-poured descriptions, and dubious vocabulary. Comb through each paragraph and be brutal, prioritizing clarity and intentionality of how you've told the story.
The Read Through
This is the point where I recommend doing three things:
Letting it rest away from you for 1-3 months so that you can return to it with a bit of unfamiliarity and new perspective.
Hand it off to a couple of trusted readers and give them ample time to read, digest, and craft some feedback
Reread the project once all the way through making no changes (although annotations are acceptable)
Fourth Draft
Finishing touches. Vigorously and meticulously scrub and scrape between the lines and imagine giving it to your worst enemy. If you can imagine any mean (but valid) things they could conceive of to say about it, this is the time to grapple with or fix those details.
Additional Resources
Guide to Drafting
Word Count/Productivity Tracker Spreadsheet
Balancing Detail & Development
Writing The First Chapter
Writing The Middle of Your Story
Powering Through The Zero-Draft Phase
Writing The Last Chapter
Chapter Length
Happy drafting,
x Kate
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Ace the bat hound becomes a ghost dog because he's such a good boy and dedicated to justice. Inspired off of this post here.
But, instead of being found out by Danny, it's the batfam's usual mystic contacts, like Constantine, that discover and reunite Ace and the Bats. Constantine muttering about how annoyingly resilient the particular brand of ghost is. From the infinite realms, Ghosts from there are a headache and a half to get rid of but portals, information, and really anything about it is far and few between since no one's been able to get into contact since some fight a couple centuries ago (Dark being sealed away). Justice Leauge Dark promises to let the family know if they hear anything or find any relevant information about the Infinite Realms, but since literally nothing has been heard from them in so long, no one really knows anything off the top of their head about it.
While Ace is technically supposed to be hidden away at home, he ends up sneaking along one day to help deal with Joker after the clown kidnaps Nightwing and/or Robin (Damian). The photos and videos of the event are blurry and smudged, but word of mouth gets around, and soon, the entirety of Gotham is celebrating the return of Bat Hound the Ghost, the very good boy back from the grave.
Meanwhile, things are going great for the family, just having Ace back makes everyone feel just a bit better (because Ace is a full ghost with a core and is helping to filter the currupt ectoplasm called Lazarus Water with physical touch). Jason is over more often and enjoys flopping on the couch with Ace for a quick snooze, Dick is over the moon to fight with Ace by his side again, Damian makes sure Ace is properly introduced to the rest of the animals that live at the mansion, Tim actually falls asleep semi-regularly now after Ace starts bothering him about being awake, and everyone else is reaping the benefits of having a bat trained dog that seems to be able to sniff out when they need a dog to pet.
Then these guys in white show up.
Ace had seemingly been on edge all night and when it was time to turn in for the night and let Signal come out for the day, Ace follows along, not listening to any command to stay home. Some of the others stay ready in the cave but they let Signal and Ace go out with the promise to call the moment something big happens.
Now, up until then, Ace's powers had been tallied up to: intangibility, invisibility, and occasional hovering/heightened jump. Every other exercise responded out as normal dog (except for the whole being dead thing). Maybe slightly higher emotional intelligence, but some dogs are just Like That. Through some tests, they do find that Ace has a new found hatred of Lazarus Water, but they don't find any obvious weakness that isn't a banishment spell which is as worrying as it is a relief.
So when these white suits start shooting using guns that glow the same green as Ace in Signals' vision and the shoots hit? Ace yelps in pain before seemingly barking out some kind of energy ball? And barreling into a wall so hard it cracked from another shot? Every single alarm that Signal can think to trip gets set off.
But not before one of the suits (one of the many suits, they're terrible fighters but there's just so many of them and two of them) takes out something that looks like a thermos and points it at Ace.
Within a second, Ace is gone.
Signal is so shocked he almost gets hit himself by the dozens of shots of energy blasts now aimed at him. He can't get to the white van in time before it speeds off.
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I'm going to end this part here. I'm going to continue this in the reblogs but I also want people to take a crack at this story themselves! If you're inspired by this please put your thoughts or stories in the reblogs or tags!
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