#i feel bad because even in real life someone will be like | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

isawritesshit · 2 days ago

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jjk men as disney princes/other male love interests

images taken from various pinterest users. borders created by @anitalenia.

Synopsis: Pretty straightforward! Comparing JJK men to various Disney characters and their relationships with their s/o :)

Warnings and Content: written generally for fem!readers but i feel like it can be taken in any way; overall just fluffy stuff.

Characters: Gojo, Geto, Toji, Nanami, Yuta, Choso, Sukuna, Itadori, Megumi

Author's Note: Hello lovelies! I've returned with my first headcanon post. I hope y'all enjoy it! If you haven't watched any of the character's respective movies you definitely should if you get the chance! I apologize again for falling off the face of the earth (again). I'm on a break from my studies, so I have more time to write. If y'all have any asks or want me to continue any of my other stories, you know where to find me :)

Word Count: ~1.6k

gojo: naveen

y'all saw this coming.

like it was probably your first or second guess let's be real.

gojo has lots of expectations put upon him that he would rather not adhere to/just wants to be able to do his own thing.

the personality lines up pretty well. he's a cocky lil shit sometimes but he genuinely cares.

okay but SPECIFICALLY getting into though

think about this. naveen was only ever a prince to everyone around him. lottie only would've wanted him because he's a prince. dr. facilier only wanted to trick him because of his influence as a prince. even tiana's judgement at first was biased because he's a spoiled rich guy.

however, when he's not seen as a prince, he's able to have fun and relax. he discovers more about himself, and we sympathize. tiana falls in love with him when they're fucking frogs for gods sake, so she falls in love with naveen and not prince naveen.

i think we can all agree that if gojo were to have a long-time partner, it would be someone that sees past him as being the strongest sorcerer. someone he could cut out a separate life with. so it was upon this that i based my decision.

also lowkey, the scene where naveen set up a little date for tiana and was going to propose to her is gojo-coded to me and idk why. i could see him getting flustered and all that cute shit before trying to propose.

geto: kristoff

i'll admit this one didn't hit me at first, but i slowly found myself thinking this makes sense.

let's think about this right?

like sassy, hardworking man doing what he got to do to survive? right, right?

but he has a soft spot for those he cares about ofc, his found family and gojo sven.

also both are estranged from most of society both by circumstance and choice.

bet then idk just something about the scene where he immediately sees that anna might be in danger and he just rushes his ass over and across a frozen fucking lake.

idk

like it could be said for any of the characters listed, but i think that geto wouldn't admit or want to realizes that he cares that much for you until you're put into danger like that.

which sounds bad buuut at the end of the day when you're finally safe and the two of you are together he doesn't want to hesitate to show his affection for you.

both of them are just chef's kiss.

lmk if you agree.

toji: flynn rider

i know i keep saying here me out but HERE ME OUT-

there's just something about a hot criminal yk.

anyways, i was never thinking of this all along, but when i made this connection it sort of surprised me.

like, he would never approach your relationship romantically at first. there would only be something in it for the both of you before he realized he was royally fucked aka falling in love with you.

i feel like the only difference is just toji's over grumpiness but isn't flynn's cynicism almost similar?

furthermore, i think they both became the way they were because of the way society set them up to be with their born circumstances. but with the right person, they're willing to begin to go against that and what they had thought previously about themselves.

idk maybe i'm making a reach with this one.

just let him be loved.

nanami: shang

no brainer in my opinion.

both these bitches are GETTING DOWN TO BUSINESS.

but i def think the whole thing playing out between duty and heart would be an interesting dynamic for Nanami's character.

especially when talking about the SECOND MULAN MOVIE WHICH EVERYONE IS SLEEPING ON.

like i'm immediately thinking about the scene in the second movie where everyone thinks shang is dead and then boom he hops out all hot on a horse looking all disheveled and shit

then that got me thinking about season 2 nanami y'all know what im talking aboutttt.

plus having someone to challenge him but also introduce him to new concepts and ideas?? we all know he need dat.

anyways i love hot hardworking men.

yuta: aladdin

idc what anyone says this is the MOST accurate one.

both these dudes was in the TRENCHES when we first meet them, doing what they could with given circumstances.

but when it comes to getting what they want? setting out a goal and achieving it, whether that be to be with the girl he wants or save jujustu fucking society? yes ma'am he'll make sure it gets done. (even if they need a little help sometimes but that's besides the point-)

anyway, i think just the way he would treat you compared to how aladdin treats jasmine would be so similar idk. that sort of boyish shyness that he can get around you while still being able to impress everyone around him with his skillz.

brotha just wants to impress you doh.

he would do anyyyything for you.

choso: tarzan

barking for both of them i swear-

anyways, whole thing i was going after with this was the whole two worlds, one family thing yk? i feel like there are a lot of similarities with both tarzan's and choso's characters for it to make sense?

like he's been caught up in the curse world for so long, that when it comes to you, he needed/wanted to delve more into his human side.

he wants to know your interests, things that are important to you. bonus points if you were to be a jujustu sorcerer because you're supposed to be studying/exorcising curses.

choso really has to make a choice between you and his goals as a curse.

ofc, he's gonna choose you.

also, if we wanna get into to details. the scene where tarzan looks at jane? YOU KNOW WHICH ONE I'M TALKING ABOUT!!

yeah.

sigh anyways.

this one might've gotten a little too literal but i like it.

sukuna: adam (da beast)

okay.

yes the immediate connection was that they're both always angry i will admit.

but let's sit down and tinker with this mmm k?

everyone around both of them fear them. they were both cursed for the great power that they held.

now let's sit and imagine that we replaced him and you into belle and adam's situation? you cannot tell me that shit wouldn't pan out in a similar fashion.

i can irl that attraction to sukuna would not come immediately, but over time. learning about his past and him learning what's important to you, all of these things would contribute to your relationship.

but how could you love someone so terrible? so vile? someone who lived their life tormenting others?

now they said that to belle too.

but people, even monsters, can change under the right circumstances.

anyway, that got really serious.

but on a side note y'all were definitely having stupid arguments starting out just like in beauty and the beast.

and imagine if for whatever reason you saved his life.

oh brother he would never want to admit it.

of course, he would later be thankful for it.

belle and adam are probably my favorite disney couple also, so i liked diving into this.

itadori: hercules

THESE BABIES.

off the bat let's look at the similarities shall we?

both freakishly strong. both determined with a goal/called destiny from a long lost family. both new to the hero game and went through intensive training. both had cool mentors. both sweethearts.

but omg the way that hercules is so DOWN BAD AND IN LOVE with meg ugh. itadori is the same with you when you both meet fr.

and obv they are both extremely awkward but it's really endearing. aww.

but omg they would go BLOW FOR BLOW with any bitch that dare mess with y'all. whether it be some random ass man on the street or sukuna or a curse, itadori can FIGHT.

and we've seen the same thing in the hercules movie too ofc.

i think personality wise they are both similar matches which is why i made almost an instant connection between these two.

but they're also afraid of a lot of things too. they want to complete their goals but don't want anyone around them to die as a product of that. i feel that itadori's mind would think about that constantly with you, similar to how it happens with hercules in the movie and trying to save meg's life.

anywho

megumi: robert

okay now.

if you're thinking to yourself

who's robert

i need you to go get a disney plus subscription or on some random pirating website

and WATCH ENCHANTED

ONE OF THE MOST UNDERRATED DISNEY MOVIES EVER

and then come back to me and agree with me :)

now obviously it's kinda hard to compare like 15 y/o megumi to a fully grown, single father/divorce lawyer, but i feel like what that story represents in that relationship is sooo good.

megumi's had a very practical/cynical view on life since he was a child, as his circumstances forced him to. he does what he does to take care of his sister and still wants to look after her even after gojo comes around.

robert is someone who's also very practical and takes those views into everything to make sure he's making the right decisions for himself and his daughter. when his daughter asks for a storybook, he gives her a book on successful women. when asked why he hasn't proposed to a woman he's been dating for 5 years, he just wants to be sure in case anything falls apart.

but then you/giselle come along and completely break those realist mentalities, almost instantly. you don't encourage him to let go of what's important but rather view what's important through a happier/more positive lense. through those lenses, he falls for you, even when he never planned to.

like megumi's been through so much, but someone that could rework all of that and get him to relax would be the best thing for him imo.

anyway probably a weird one to end off on but yeah.

how many of y'all agree with me or are there any other ideas y'all had? 🥺

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fluentmoviequoter · 2 days ago

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New Life

Requested Here!

Pairing: TO!Jim Street x fem!rookie!reader

Summary: After you get custody of your 11-month-old niece, you see your TO's softer side. Your niece loves him, but he takes the time to make sure you are adjusting to your new life.

Warnings: brief angst, familial angst (sick sibling - not specified if it's a brother or sister), fluff, comfort, yearning and mutual pining

Word Count: 4.6k+ words

A/N: TO Street is back!!!!! I had to use this gif because Gasoline Drum is one of my favourite Street episodes🤭

Masterlist Directory | Jim Street Masterlist | Request Info\Fandom List

Street is the best training officer in the history of police training, you think. You came into the station on your first day with just enough confidence to get by and your heart in your throat, worried that you’d get one of the TOs your friends in the academy told you about: the pushy one, or the burned-out cop who’s more interested in proving you wrong than helping you. Street is the complete opposite. He’s clearly passionate about police work, and even if you remain confused about why he didn’t take the opportunity to return to SWAT, you’re grateful that he’s your TO.

Someone yells your name as you exit the roll call room, prepared to gather your war bags from the equipment room. You freeze as your mind begins racing, evaluating everything you could have done wrong, even glancing down to check if your socks match. Turning slowly on your heel, you see Street watching you, his arms crossed over his chest and his expression unreadable.

“Yes, sir?” you reply quietly.

“Do you know what day it is, boot?” he barks.

Pressing your lips together, you try to remember, but nothing is remarkable about today. So, you tell the truth, and answer, “No, sir.”

“Are you nervous?” he inquires, taking a step toward you.

“Yes, sir.”

Street stops then. “Good,” he murmurs, dropping his arms. “Ready to go?”

You blink, confused, and feel like you’re buzzing with nervousness. “Sir?”

Street taps your shoulder, directing you toward the equipment room, so you fall in step beside him, watching his profile as you walk.

“My old SWAT commander started a bet that I wouldn’t try to intimidate you on purpose,” he explains softly. “Sorry.”

“Oh,” you reply, still blinking owlishly as you stare at him. “Okay.”

Street leans over the clipboard to sign out your bags, not looking at you as he asks, “You alright?”

“My heart’s racing and I was about thirty seconds from a panic attack,” you mumble. “But, yeah, I’m alright.”

Street straightens, his muscles flexing under his short sleeves, and you have to remind yourself to look at his face and not his triceps.

“I’m sorry,” he repeats. “But I can’t let them be right about anything, ever. And I won $300, so I’ll order you a pizza or something to make up for it.”

“You don’t have to do that,” you argue. You reach for your war bag, but Street knocks your hand out of the way and pulls it onto his shoulder. “Officer Street?”

“Don’t get used to it,” he grunts, lifting his bag in his other hand. “I feel bad.”

“You also called me boot. What happened to I’m not like other TOs, I’ll treat you like a person?” you ask, lowering your voice to imitate him.

Street smiles, shaking his head. “I told you. $300.”

“We don’t get paid enough,” you sigh.

“Adam-13,” dispatch radios. “Report of a drunk and disorderly male near Harvard Park.”

Street sighs as he drops your bags in the trunk and closes the door. “Adam-13 responding,” he replies. “I’ll drive.”

“Which is different than any other day?” you murmur as you enter the passenger side of the shop.

“Hey!” Street calls as you step out of the car. “LAPD. We need to talk to you for a second.”

The man waves his hand over his head, then staggers off the sidewalk. You jog toward him, hoping he’ll stop when he sees your uniform is real.

“Hi, Jessie,” he mumbles as he brushes past you.

Furrowing your brows, you turn as Street approaches your side.

“It’s barely 8 a.m.,” he muses. “Little early for this, isn’t it?”

You want to tell Street that you think the man is confused rather than drunk, but don’t get a chance to before he turns into a park, where children are playing. Street leads the way as you run after the man, overtaking him easily as he drags his feet along the sidewalk. Standing in front of him, you block his path with your hands up and your badge visible.

“Sir, I’m Officer Jim Street,” Street says. “Have you had anything to drink today?”

“Water went shoo,” the man slurs, tossing his arms to the right and throwing himself off balance.

You step toward him, your arm extended to assist him, but Street grabs your wrist and shakes your head.

“He might get violent,” he reminds you. “Keep your distance and try to get his voluntary cooperation.”

“Sir, what’s your name?” you inquire.

“Kenneth,” he answers, squinting as he drops his head.

“Kenneth, where are you walking from?”

He squeezes his eyes closed, tilting his head to the side as he thinks. “Dunno,” he replies, shrugging.

“Street, I think he needs medical attention,” you whisper.

“Sir, do you have your ID?” Street asks. “Can I see it?”

Kenneth pats his pockets, then tsks. “Lef’it in car.”

“What kind of car do you drive?” you ask, pulling away from Street to approach Kenneth. Closer, you can see that his clothes are disheveled, and a few scrapes and bruises line his hands and jaw.

“Blue Mustang,” he answers, raising his hands to his head. “What do you want?” he demands, stepping toward you quickly.

You move back, laying your hand on your Taser before he stops and sways.

“Blue Mustang,” you repeat softly. “Street, he was in the accident off Western this morning; unoccupied Blue Mustang was leaking gas.”

Street nods, raising his hand to his radio to call for an ambulance. Kenneth tries to walk away, so you step in front of him and ask him more about his car. His short-term memory seems worse for wear, but other than the clear head trauma, he seems relatively unscathed.

You glance up when Street moves behind Kenneth, and he flashes you two fingers, so you know how long you have to distract Kenneth until the ambulance arrives.

“Weird guy, him,” Kenneth mumbles, moving his head toward Street.

“He’s just jealous of your car,” you tell him, watching Street roll his eyes. “He wants one but can’t afford it.”

A few minutes later, after you helped the paramedics coax Kenneth into the ambulance because he’d listen to you but wanted to fight them, you return to the shop with a sigh.

“What are you going to write me up for first?” you inquire. “Forgetting protocol or the Mustang joke?”

“Neither,” Street answers, looking over his shoulder to pull away from the curb. “You saw something that I didn’t. Good job following your instincts.”

“Thank you,” you reply, looking out the window so Street can’t see the smile on your face. You’re a police officer, your TO’s feedback isn’t supposed to make you giddy or cause images of hearing his praise in a much different context. Yet, Jim Street. The one guy in the LAPD you can’t seem to get enough of.

“Any sage words of wisdom?” you ask Deacon while waiting for Street.

He doesn’t answer before Hondo interrupts to say, “Don’t date playboy.”

“Playboy?” you repeat, incredulous. “Street?”

“Oh, yeah,” Hondo breathes dramatically, while Deacon rolls his eyes.

“He’s… flirty,” Deacon says. “Doesn’t usually lead anywhere. Not for long.”

You nod, pressing your lips together. Street might have made a borderline flirtatious comment once or twice, but you’re his rookie. There was never going to be anything between you, no matter what. No matter how much you think you’d like it.

“He’s not with me,” you say. “Guess his TO training advised against it.”

Hondo scoffs. “That’s never stopped Streeter before.”

Maybe it has, you think. Because the alternative is that he doesn’t like me, and I don’t know which would hurt worse.

“Because I’m impressed by how you handled Kenneth this morning,” Street begins.

“I don’t like how that sounds,” you complain, eyeing him suspiciously.

“I said I was impressed. I’m going to let you pick where we get lunch today. You have three blocks in any direction to choose from.”

You know precisely where you are, which proves to be helpful for more than patrolling today. There’s a food truck less than two blocks south of you, and Street nods as he enters a turn lane.

“Are you being nice to me because of what Hondo and Deacon said?” you blurt.

“What’d they say?” Street asks, sparing a glance at you as he drives.

“Nothing,” you murmur, wiping your uniform pants to look nonchalant.

“No,” Street replies. “What’d they say?”

“Just that I shouldn’t be surprised if you do something else because of a bet,” you lie.

Street hums, and you feel his eyes on you. He’s a good cop, a better TO, so he most likely knows you’re lying. Yet, he decides not to say anything, opting to drive silently to your chosen lunch destination.

After you order, you carry your tray to a nearby table and sit, checking your surroundings before you unwrap your straw and put it in the first cold drink you’ve had since breakfast. Street is still watching you closely, but it’s not as obvious or concerning as before. He’ll catch you in the lie eventually, you’ll laugh it off and move on. That’s how it works with Street. You thought the easy approach to serious topics was to make you comfortable as a rookie, but you see now that it’s just who Street is.

Pulling your phone from your pocket, you expect to see it void of meaningful notifications, because your friends and family respect your career choice and know that you can’t get back to them while you’re working. That, and because they all have day jobs too. Today, however, you have three missed calls. Two from callers you recognize, and one from a local number you don’t have saved. You click that voicemail first, raising your phone to your ear as Street steals something off your tray and passes something from his in return.

“Good morning, this is Pamela Watson from the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services,” the woman says. You set your drink down, feeling your heart pound in your throat as you listen. “I’m calling in regards to your niece. If you’d like to call me back today, please return this call and use extension 515, or you can email me through the office. Thank you.”

“What’s wrong?” Street asks, his gaze entirely different after he sees the concern on your face.

You can’t speak past the lump in your throat, so you shake your head and open the next voicemail, this one from your sibling.

“CFS probably already called,” they begin. “I’m fine, just dealing with some health stuff, and in turn, some money stuff. I’d never ask you to do this, and you don’t have to take responsibility, okay? If you want to, I’ll help you however I can and I will explain everything tonight. I- I’m okay, and I love you.”

You press your phone harder against your ear when the voicemail ends, clenching your teeth together as you try to make sense of everything you’ve heard. There’s another message, but you don’t want to listen to it right now. You doubt you could understand it even if you did.

“Hey,” Street calls, his voice commanding your attention this time. When you look up, his eyes bounce between yours, silently evaluating you and everything your body language tells him. “What’s wrong?” he repeats.

“I don’t know,” you admit, dropping your phone to your lap. “My- my family is… going through something, I guess. They didn’t tell me what.”

“How long ago did they call?” he inquires.

“Two hours.”

“Why didn’t you answer then?” he exclaims. “Family comes first.”

“My phone was silenced,” you answer weakly, feeling pressure in your eyes as you stare at the table. “They- they never call during the day.”

“Come on,” Street says, picking up your trays and empty cups as he stands. “We’ll tell the watch commander what happened, and you can go check on them.”

“But I can’t get time off,” you remind him. “I’m a rookie.”

“Time off is different than a family emergency. I’ll clear it. Come on.”

You follow Street to the shop, mumble your gratitude when he opens the door for you, and watch Los Angeles pass in a blur. Within an hour, you’re in the back of an Uber, showered and changed for a meeting with Pamela Watson to find out why your niece needs a new guardian.

“I know,” you say when your niece grins. “But I’m going to kill your parents for worrying me.”

She smiles wider as she giggles, reaching up toward your collar as you carry her around your living room. The calls made the situation sound much worse than they are. It’s a temporary solution to a short-term problem, Pamela had explained. Someone would take care of your niece for six months while your sibling received treatment for a recently discovered health condition. Doctors caught it early, and the treatment is 99% successful. But they’ll need time to travel, a sterile living environment, and may experience side effects that will make it harder to care for a child. With a monthly check from CFS and as many visits from your sibling as their doctor clears, you're prepared to take care of the cutest and most lovable member of your family.

It's the second night she’ll spend with you, and things are already going better than last night. You’ve chalked it up to the sudden changes, hoping that things improve with time, and you have what it takes to be a parent. As the sun sets over the Pacific, your phone buzzes on the counter. You tuck it between your ear and shoulder as you rock her to sleep, talking quietly.

“Hi,” Street greets. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes,” you answer. “Thank you again for everything.”

“Of course. Your family?”

“Is going to get through this,” you say before briefly explaining the situation your sibling is in, but failing to bring up your new roommate.

“If you need to, we can push plain clothes day,” he offers. “I can have Hicks intercede, because I spent my one get out of jail free card.”

“No, I’ll be ready,” you assure him. “And I took your advice about using sticky notes to revise for the rookie exam. It’s helping a lot, so thank you.”

“Any time. Get some rest, and I’ll see you at the station Monday.”

“You, too. Goodnight.”

You hang up, and your niece nuzzles her face into your bathrobe, inches from your heart.

“Yeah, he gets to me, too,” you murmur.

Exactly a week after getting custody of your niece, you get put on the midnight shift. It’s inconvenient for more than your sleep schedule now, but you can’t get out of it, regardless of your excuse. So, you ask your cousin to watch your niece for one night only, going so far as to give up your apartment so she can have time away from her roommate as an incentive. She agrees, more than happy to spend time with the youngest family member, and you breathe a sigh of relief when she shows up on time.

“I thought you had to wear a uniform,” she muses as she carries her bag inside.

“I change at the station,” you inform her. “Everything you should need is on the counter, there are a few notes on the fridge, and I’ll try to have my phone on.”

“We’ll be fine,” she promises. “Be safe.”

You smile, thanking her once more, then focus on the job. Not on your family, how tired you are, or Street. The last proves to be the most difficult, because something about the way the city lights reflect off his profile makes his magnetism grow infinitely stronger.

“Hey, wait up!” Street calls, jogging out of the station behind you.

The sun is beginning to rise, stray beams of light illuminating the city. You’re ready for breakfast – or is it dinner? - and a nap, you think, but you’re willing to wait for Street.

“20 David is having their annual arm-wrestling competition against LAFD tomorrow,” he says, shifting his backpack on his shoulder. “Would you maybe want to come?”

“Arm wrestling against firefighters?” you repeat.

“Yeah, but don’t count us out.”

“Oh, I made the mistake of accepting an offer from Luca once,” you remember. “I have no doubt they’ll win. It’s just…” I have a baby at home sounds wrong, so you trail off.

“You don’t have to come,” Street offers, his smile dropping and his dimples disappearing. “Just wanted to offer.”

“No, I want to come,” you assure him. “Could I bring someone?”

“Yeah, of course,” Street answers, his smile long gone.

You thank him for the invitation and turn around, eager to get home, leaving him wondering who you’re willing to bring into this part of your life. He must be special, Street thinks, instantly hating himself for how jealous his inner voice sounds.

Your niece laughs, smiling with her cheek smushed against your chest. The baby carrier her dad insists on using every time they go out is now hooked over your shoulders and around your waist, and your first thought was, Oh, I get it. This is amazing. She giggles every time you tap her feet, so as you enter the police station, you distract her with rhythmic taps and gentle pulls to her feet and hands.

Inside SWAT HQ, dozens of firefighters and officers mill around, some carrying drinks, others with plates of cake and snacks, and some trash talking the competition. You found out this morning that the competition isn’t just for bragging rights, but for charity. Looking around for an officer you recognize, you don’t notice that your niece quiets, her eyes wide at the sight of so many large men.

Someone calls your last name, and you lay your hand on the baby carrier, pressing gently against your niece’s back as you turn. Deacon’s eyes widen in surprise for a brief moment, then he smiles and steps closer to you.

“Who is this?” he inquires, waving to your now-smiling niece.

“My niece,” you answer. “I’m watching her for a while.”

Deacon nods, letting her reach out and clasp her fingers around his finger before she giggles. He doesn’t press or ask for the specifics about the situation, and you’re grateful for that.

“I hope it’s okay we’re here,” you add. “Street told me I could come, and could bring someone, but I didn’t exactly tell him my plus one was an eleven-month-old.”

“More than okay,” Deacon assures you. “Everyone is going to love her. Here, follow me. You can put her bag in the situation room, come in here if you need peace and quiet or anything.”

“Thank you,” you say, punctuated with a sigh, following Deacon toward the closed door. “I really appreciate it.”

He nods, taking your backpack after you slip it off your shoulders. There’s a large table against the far wall, and he sets it there for easy access, then offers to show you around until Street finds you. “And he will,” Deacon murmurs.

“You have a baby,” Luca exclaims when you exit the situation room. “Oh, she’s adorable.”

“Thanks,” you reply. “My niece.”

Luca smiles, and she matches his expression before kicking her legs and pointing. You turn your head toward her new object of admiration, and your smile falls when you see Street. He’s not looking at her; he’s staring at your face and standing completely motionless in the hall.

“Hi,” you greet softly.

“I’ll leave you to it,” Deacon says, patting your back kindly.

“Yeah, and I’ve got to stretch out my bicep,” Luca adds, turning to follow Deacon.

You watch Street momentarily, everything growing more awkward by the second. Luckily, your niece breaks the silence with a heart-warming giggle that draws both your attention and Street’s.

“Did I…” he begins. “Did I miss a chapter in the get to know my rookie book?”

“Remember when I said something came up with my family?” you ask. He nods, so you gesture to your niece. “She needed a temporary guardian. I got custody of her last week.”

“She’s your…”

“Niece.”

Street nods as he approaches you. “She’s adorable,” he murmurs.

She squeals, reaching toward him as she pulls away from your chest.

“Nice to meet you too,” Street says, his arm pressed against your shoulder as he smiles at her. “Yeah, I like your aunt, she’s okay.”

“I think I’m a little better than okay,” you mumble, pinching your brows.

Street smiles, turning toward you as you tilt your chin to look at him. Your niece whines, hitting your chest until Street returns his attention to her. She smiles up at him, dropping her head toward her shoulder as she reaches toward him again.

“I think someone likes you,” you muse, patting her back gently.

“Really? Who?” he teases, glancing at you quickly as he offers his hand.

Your niece wraps her hand around his finger, kicking her legs excitedly against your rib cage. Wincing in surprise more than pain, you don’t notice how quickly Street looks up at you, bent at his waist to talk to your niece.

“You alright?” he inquires.

“Fine,” you assure him. “She really likes you. I haven’t seen her respond to someone like this before.”

Street nods as he straightens, then asks, “May I?”

“You don’t have to.”

“Not what I asked.”

You nod then, holding one arm under the bottom of the baby carrier as you reach to undo the clips on either side of her.

“Wait,” Street murmurs. “I got it.”

His hand covers yours briefly, your eyes meeting with only a breath – and a baby – between you. He nods, so you drop your hand to support your niece while Street opens the carrier. His fingers run along the sides of your rib, and you fight off the shiver that threatens to run through you at his touch. It disappears too quickly as he pulls your niece into his arms, chuckling when she smiles against his chest and gets comfortable as he sways.

“Not exactly what I expected when your team said you were a playboy,” you joke.

Street freezes, pursing his lips for a moment before he speaks. “Is that what they told you that made you act so weird?”

Right, you remember. The one thing I wasn’t supposed to bring up. In my defense, I have a baby now. Maybe late off-set pregnancy brain rubbed off on me somehow.

“It- it was just a joke, Officer Street. I know you’d never do anything like that with me, even if it wasn’t,” you defend.

He hesitates before answering, “Fine. But drop the Officer. We’re out of uniform, hanging out with my new best friend to watch Luca demolish some firefighters, so I’m just Street today.”

“Okay. Thanks, Street.”

You watch him walk away, gaining several steps before you trail behind him. Remembering that you have an empty baby carrier halfway strapped on, you stop and look at the situation room, then at Street’s back. You trust him, so you let him carry your niece out of sight while you put her carrier with her bag. In the privacy of the situation room, you press your hands against the edge of a table and sigh deeply. Your niece might be obsessed with Street, and that’s fine, but your feelings about your TO, which aren't so dissimilar, are not.

Street has been with your niece for one hour and forty-six minutes when she grows fussy. Not that you’ve been counting, but Street disoriented you enough when he took her from you that you noticed and remembered the time. That’s normal, you tell yourself, you’re a cop. It’s your job to be observant.

He excuses himself from the group of cops and firefighters who lost all inhibition and dropped their tough acts when they saw a cute, smiling baby, and walks toward you.

“She’s hungry,” you say, pushing off the wall you’d been leaning against to watch practice rounds (and Street). “I’ve got her food.”

You reach out for her, but Street moves one arm behind her head, blocking her from you as he turns away.

“No, I got it,” he argues, drawing a pleased squeal from your niece.

“Street, I didn’t bring her here to have you babysit,” you explain, smiling. “I appreciate it, but you’ve done more than enough.”

“You didn’t sign up for this, but that doesn’t mean you can’t accept help.”

You nod slowly, tipping your head toward the situation room. Street follows you inside, sits beside your bag, and acts like he’s been doing this his whole life. You stand by the door, your fingers hooked together as you watch him. As he feeds your niece, carrying a one-sided conversation with her, you tear your eyes from him and wander around the room, looking at the equipment 20 squad members use daily.

“Is your family okay?” Street asks, his eyes still on your niece as she blinks slowly.

“Yes,” you answer, rubbing a spot on a table to keep yourself from looking at Street. If you turn around, he might see how worried you are, not just about your family but your future with Street and in the department. Incredibly, your niece has brought up so many questions about your own life, but you wouldn’t change this for anything. “Her, uh-her parents are just dealing with some health issues, getting treatment, and need her to stay with me for six months.”

“The doctors are hopeful?” he clarifies.

“99% confident,” you answer. “And everyone is chipping in to help.”

“That’s great.”

Street sounds closer now, and you turn to discover he’s walking toward you. He points to his left, and you see your niece fast asleep on her roll-out changing mat. Street has positioned it against the wall, with her carrier on the other side so she’s safe from falling or hitting the metal table. You sniff, dragging your hand under your eye to ensure you aren’t showing the emotions you’re feeling.

“How are you?” Street asks, leaning against the table beside you.

No one has asked that yet. Your family has called to check in on your niece, offered to babysit while you work, dropped off toys and food, but no one has taken the time or interest in learning how you are adjusting to this new life.

“I’m fine,” you answer softly, inhaling deeply to keep yourself composed.

Street shakes his head, and you drop your chin toward your chest. “I’m tired,” you admit then. “Scared I’m going to mess up or hurt her or something else. I can’t disappoint anyone, Street, they’re counting on me.”

“Hey,” Street murmurs. You don’t look up, so he hooks his finger under your chin to direct your eyes to his. “Hey. You aren’t going to disappoint anyone.”

“You don’t know that,” you argue, your voice strained.

“I do. I’m your teacher, I know everything about your potential.”

You smile, leaning closer to Street. He drops his hand to your waist as he steps closer.

“We can’t,” you whisper.

Street looks between your eyes, the world slowing around you. Someone yells outside, and you both look toward your niece, but she’s still asleep.

“We can’t now,” Street amends. “Care to watch some arm wrestling?”

“Sure,” you answer. “Thank you, Street.”

“Street!” your niece exclaims as she blinks awake.

His eyes widen, his fingers dragging across your waist as he rushes to her side, pulling her to his chest again.

“That’s me!” he says. “You’re so smart, just like your aunt.”

You smile as Street takes your hand, leading you into the heart of SWAT HQ with your heart tucked safely beside his, waiting for the right time.

“Hey, you can’t cheat in front of a baby!” Street yells, drawing a groan from the entire LAFD and a happy giggle from your niece, who will be impossible to part with in six months.

#to!jim street #jim street x fem!reader #jim street x reader #jim street fluff #jim street fic #jim street imagine #jim street #swat x reader #swat imagine #swat fic #swat cbs #fem!reader #requests #hanna writes✯

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lifeafterpsychiatry · 1 day ago

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I'm curious to know your thoughts on this. I'm nearly 30 now, but I'm starting to wonder if just being a child/teenager is inherently a distressing or traumatic experience, even for people who had good mental health, didn't have really bad things happen to them, had supportive parents etc. I did have the bad mental health, shit support system, and fucked up things happen but even looking back at the "normal" things and what the "normal" kids experienced, I feel like they weren't exactly good either.

Like, you have no autonomy. If your parents are making decisions about your life or health you don't agree with, there's nothing you can do about it. You're rarely taken seriously about anything. If you say you're hurt or sick, you might get accused of faking to get out of school even if you're actually sick/hurt.

You hit puberty and all of a sudden, a lot of the adults start projecting their negative perceptions of teenagers on to you, even if you've never done anything to break their trust or piss them off. So if you make a mistake that even adults make, people don't give you grace and say it's just human error. They think you're intentionally being a disrespectful and irresponsible teen.

The adults think who you are is just a passing phase and your wants, desires, and interests are stupid and vapid. Even if some things were a phase, that version of you was still real at the time.

If you're a girl/afab, you start getting harassed and cat called as a child, especially if you're wearing a school uniform. I couldn't go outside from the ages of 12-18 without being harassed by multiple grown men. Like literally every time I went outside. Once I started looking like an adult, I didn't experience those things nearly as often.

Adults think they can just say the things they're supposed to say so they don't look like they're negligent (like "be yourself" "you can be whatever you want when you grow up" "I'll support you" "I'll help you") but a lot of them have no intention of actually following up. They get mad at teenagers for being able to see through false promises or calling them out on them.

You have to spend all day in school, then come home and do a mountain of homework and studying. Yeah adults have chores and responsibilities that are hard and time consuming, but generally, unless your job is diabolical, you finish your shift at work and don't need to bring more work home with you.

Sometimes you're moody for no reason because puberty sucks. You're insecure and are upset when you don't look perfect because the other kids in school are also insecure but are coping with it by making fun of everyone else's appearances. You're trying to learn social skills and boundaries, which is just awkward most of the time. You think your parents are annoying and cringe because that's believed to be an evolutionary way of keeping your family from inbreeding. You do all these things that are developmentally appropriate/expected but are shamed for them. Being rude to parents and teachers for no reason obviously isn't okay, but a lot of the time when teenagers are being disrespectful, they're just reacting to someone disrespecting them. They're still learning how to regulate their emotions and communicate, but are expected to handle things like an adult when a lot of adults aren't even that mature/emotionally intelligent.

Adults act like your grades in school define your worth. School is important. Grades obviously do matter, especially if you want to go to college. But, acting like you'll never get a job because there's some permanent record that follows you around for literally the rest of your life that potential employers will look at and decide not to hire you because one time you got detention when you were 14 and failed a random pop quiz in Spanish just isn't true. It's very very very hard to ruin your life literally forever at 14. It's not okay to use scare tactics on kids without the life experience to see through the bullshit just because them getting good grades makes the parents or schools look better.

Adults simultaneously think you're an idiot who doesn't understand the world and can't make good decisions, but also want you to decide what college course you want to go into debt for at like 16/17/18. I know some countries have free education. Mine doesn't. The narrative from my teachers, my parents, and other people's parents was "you're a loser if you don't go to college and if it's not immediately after graduating because the neighbours will judge us/the school will look bad so you need to decide literally right now." Then if you made the wrong choice, because you were a minor pressured into making a huge life decision without enough time, access to information, or life experience to make a fully informed decision, apparently that just proves that you were a stupid teenager after all even though you did the best you could with the knowledge and resources you had a the time.

College isn't for everyone or accessible for everyone. It's okay to not go at all or to go later in life. It's okay to not be able to work. Everyone's life path is different. But it sounds like everyone's school was extremely classist with their messaging that you *have* to college and it better be business or STEM and that only certain jobs are worth respecting. By the way, I didn't go to a fancy private school. My school was so bad it was considered disadvantaged.

Of course, not all adults were like that. There were some adults who treated kids better, but more than enough adults treat kids like shit. It's really concerning. It makes it very easy for predators to groom teenagers because they just need to pretend they understand and respect them. Of course, then the teenagers might get blamed for being groomed, even though they were just looking for the love and validation no one else gave them.

Then people make teenagers afraid to grow up because society acts like life is over after 25. You couldn't pay me to redo 12-24. Being an adult has its challenges but it's so much better.

I don't want kids but I want to remember how people treated me/everyone else back then and make sure I don't treat friends/family members kids like that when they have them.

I don't know enough about child liberation and family abolition to say much about it, but while I do think there are many adults who do respect children, I agree that there are a lot of structures in our current society which normalizes and justifies when adults want to deny children autonomy and treat them badly. In this society kids absolutely don't have the rights they need to protect themselves from abuse and mistreatment by the adults in charge of them, and that's a big problem that leads to a lot of trauma, abuse and suffering

#chat with kat #harassment tw #grooming tw #abuse tw #child abuse tw #child neglect tw

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thecaffeinatedwitch · 2 days ago

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Why Your Thoughts Aren’t the Problem — It’s What You Assume About Them

Let’s be honest: if every random thought we had actually manifested, the world would’ve ended by lunchtime.

We’ve all had those weird intrusive thoughts like – “What if I just threw my phone off this balcony?” – “Did I lock the door? What if I didn’t? What if someone breaks in and moves in and changes the Wi-Fi?” – “What if my ex shows up at my wedding in a clown costume and ruins everything?”

Yeah. Same.

If the Law of Assumption really meant "every thought = instant reality," we’d all be in deep trouble. But thankfully, that’s not how it works.

Here’s the Truth: Your Thoughts Aren’t the Enemy.

We live in a time where the word “manifestation” is everywhere. And people are out here stressing, “Oh my God, I thought something negative today — I just ruined my manifestation!!”

Relax. You didn’t.

Thoughts are like weather — they pass through. Some are cloudy, some are sunny, some are just plain weird. But what actually creates change isn’t the thought itself — it’s what you assume to be true about yourself, your life, and how the world responds to you.

Let’s break it down.

Thought vs. Assumption: What’s the Difference?

Thought: “No one ever picks me.”

Assumption: “I am someone who always gets overlooked. That’s just my luck.”

You might think that thought one time and brush it off. Cool. No harm.

But if you assume that’s who you are? If you identify with it? If you start moving through life expecting that to be true?

Boom — that’s when it starts manifesting.

The thought isn’t the issue. It’s when you adopt it as your truth — that’s when your reality mirrors it.

So... You Can Chill About the “Negative Thoughts”

Seriously. You’re a human, not a monk floating above emotion. You’re allowed to feel tired, cranky, anxious, or doubt yourself for a moment.

The key isn’t to eliminate every “bad” thought — the key is to stop building houses in them.

Ask yourself:

Do I assume I’m unlucky in love?

Do I assume people are flaky?

Do I assume money is hard to get?

Do I assume I’m too broken to have what I want?

If yes — that’s your work. Not the fleeting thoughts. The identity-level story you keep running on loop.

Real-Life Example (aka Me Being the Drama)

Once upon a time, I assumed I was always the "almost" person. Almost hired. Almost chosen. Almost loved.

So guess what? People mirrored that. Not because they were evil — but because I wore the assumption like a badge.

I kept affirming “I am chosen,” sure. But deep down, I assumed I was the runner-up. So even when I tried to “manifest” better, I was still operating from a script of lack.

When I finally flipped the assumption — “Of course I’m chosen. That’s my norm” — the people, places, and opportunities started treating me that way. Wild, right?

Your Power Is in What You Assume Long-Term

Assume:

You’re safe.

You’re loved.

You’re worthy of being chosen — not because you’re perfect, but because you’re you.

Life bends for you, not against you.

These aren’t just cute affirmations — they’re identities you get to claim.

Next time you have a weird, anxious, self-sabotagey thought, don’t panic. Don’t spiral. Just notice it, smile, and say, “That’s not my story anymore.”

The real question isn’t “what did I just think?” It’s “what am I assuming to be true about me?”

And if that assumption doesn’t feel good? Change it. Rehearse the new one. Live in the new one.

Because your thoughts may pass through… But your assumptions? They build your reality.

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majka626 · 2 days ago

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A few people asked me to explain my standing on the theory "Homura being autistic" so I will try to bring up some significant points.

Of course given the lack of background for Homura's personal life and behavior (esp prior becoming a MG), you can take this with grain of salt, based primarily on my own autistic traits I can relate to hers, but also everything I've studied about autism from other autistic people themselves.

For the start, even the main reason Homura is my favorite character of all media is that for the first time, I found a character who resembles my autistic traits, personality and struggles (social, emotional, health). She made me feel understood even though she's fictional.

Now to the point;

-I'd start with a question I ask myself: What exactly is 'neurotypical' about her?

The girl is clearly dissociated with reality and lives in a completely different world with different rules than other people or girls her age. She's basically a "black sheep" and an outcast who doesn’t fit in. She also isn’t dwelling on the laws and rules (which I also found out to be common among autistic people who live by their own rules and have lack of understanding for social norms).

Here I talk about her social standing. It's usual for autistic people (including myself) to struggle socially, be shy, socially awkward and anxious, avoid socialization, bad at communication, etc. From what we could see about Homura from the start and given the brief informations on the drama CD or games) that I've heard, she has never socialized - even though the main reason was her health condition she's been born with, due to which she spent a lot of time and childhood in a hospital and isolated from other kids (if I remember right, some of the official material has extended her heart issues and hospital stay). It's true we could easily characterize this as an experiences that led to trauma alone than as something to do with autism, if we'd end it just there.

However, that doesn’t change the fact she lacks social skills, even if trauma partially played a part on it. Plus, autistic people are just generaly more prone to develop a trauma and mental issues in situations they weren't emotionally prepared for.

It's easy to see she was/ is completely terrified or discouraged of the idea of socializing and she's really.. not the best at communicating neither. Then there are the particular details in her communication, like being too blunt, in ways that are interpreted as rude.

Not to mention, she tried so many times and ways, yet she never really found the right way to communicate with others about the issues. Until she felt like giving up.

In summary, her social situation is unquestionably heavily "autism coded".

Next point, her famous love for Madoka. While her love is genuine and real, everyone is well aware it's "obsessive". And you know what else it reminds me of? A hyperfixation. Yes, autistic people can hyperfixate on another person too. Loving someone so much that everything else has little to no meaning in life, not being able to separate that person (or thing) from own mind or struggle to stay separated, the lengths she's able to go for her love, when one based their entire existence and purpose around that person because life without them just "isn’t possible", that's a clear symptom of a severe co-dependence and hyperfixation (the main thing I relate with as a traumatized autistic person myself, who simply can not live without a hyperfixation or a person who lawfully takes care of me and nothing else in life can make me happy and content). Then again, I feel like people ignore why has Homura fall in love with Madoka in the first place and narrow it down to just being gay, even though it wasn’t related with a sexual/ romantic attraction from the start. Homura (just like Madoka) is someone with a lot of self-esteem issues and a good deal of trauma before she even became MG. She felt trapped even by her physical condition (afterall, she didn’t know what it's like to live in a healthy body, therefore felt worthless). She didn’t really *feel* understood and respected by others. Until she met Madoka. Feeling Madoka's sincere kindness and consideration to her feelings, then seeing her in a heroic action to save her life, the first feelings she developed towards her were gratitude and admiration. Madoka has became her idol than anything at first. But with given experiences, the admiration has soon evolved into an obsession, eventually a love at the same time.

In my book at least it's a clear hyperfixation, which is another trait common for autism.

I can eventually add every new details each time they come to mind, or if anyone reading this has something to add as an autism trait I forgot, feel free, I'm interested!

For now these are the most explaining examples I could think of off the top of my mind, and of course it's ok to disagree, especially with given context of her immense trauma that can extremely remind of autism because we didn’t know her prior her trauma (I personally think she's always been going through trauma due to her health issues & isolation and never had a happy life, but that's rather subjective and based on the little I've heard and her behavior).

#madoka magica #pmmm #puella magi madoka magica #homura akemi #character analysis #autism #homura is autistic

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tryandbehappy · 3 days ago

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okay maybe it’s just me but i’m so sick of people being like “nick should love the wife he was forced to have in the fascist police state that he can’t escape from!!! if he doesn’t love his fake wife then he’s a horrible person!!!” like yall. bffr “nick has a family now” that is not his family lmao. HE says it in the show because that’s HIS reality but it’s not real. shipping rose and nick is weird. i think some people have lost the plot. gilead/nb/real life fascist states make people afraid in order to get them to comply. a lot of what nick has done is just to stay alive. that’s how good people end up doing “bad” things / do things they don’t want to do. i hope nick is able to make a decision based on what HE wants before the season is up. that’s true freedom. if rose/the baby live and he still leaves them that does not make him bad or a dead beat. rebellion in fascist states is not going to be pretty or tied with a bow.

I agree, Anon. the show is actually not about what’s “right” or “proper.” It’s about true freedom. And “doing the right thing” is exactly what June keeps trying to do and we see how much it hurts her. It tortures her, it tortures Luke, and it tortures Nick because, in the end, she doesn’t choose him either not because she doesn’t love him, but because she feels obligated to Luke.

And about Nick: I used to think he was forced into that marriage. But in this season, I realized: Rose was his attempt to forget June. That’s the truth. Because we saw all throughout season 4, and really all throughout season 5 too, how hard he was trying to move on. He even said it to Lawrence: “I can’t move on.” And Lawrence said, “She’s never coming back to you, and you know that.” And Nick said, “I know. I just want her to stay alive.”

He knew this love was destroying him because he couldn’t have her, and he had to build some kind of life. He also knew that he’d be expected to marry and if he didn’t choose someone, the system would do it for him. And then he’d end up with a Handmaid and all the other Gilead horror. So he took it into his own hands. That’s how I see it. He picked someone himself to avoid worse.

And he really tried to make that marriage work. We know he told Rose about June which is huge. That’s such a deep level of trust. Why would he do that? Because he wanted that relationship to be honest and real. He really tried. He’s incredibly loyal and we see that, how much it tore him up, how he tried to keep his distance from June all through season 5. He told her again and again: “We won’t be able to talk anymore.” In episode 3. In episode 9: “it’ll be hard for us to see each other.” Even though we saw how much he still wanted to be with her, in every scene. On the phone, when he imagined kissing her. When he told her Rose was pregnant, he even leaned in to kiss June, then stopped himself.

He tried so hard to bury all his feelings, to bottle them up and move on. But you can’t do that forever. The pressure built. And then it exploded. We saw the growing tension with Rose. We saw him snap, for the first time ever!!!! when he punched Lawrence in public and totally blew his cover. He cracked. He couldn’t take it anymore. All those bottled-up feelings just broke through.

At the beginning of the season, I thought maybe he’d just wait, keep quietly hoping for June to choose him. But he didn’t even wait for that. He was already ready to throw everything away. Because he realized: he can’t keep living like this 😭

And that doesn’t make him a bad person. Like I said this show is about freedom. Both external and internal. Internal freedom is the ability to choose for yourself, regardless of what’s “right” or what other people expect. And I truly believe it’s all leading to Nick breaking free, from these chains, from this prison.

Yes, it’s unfortunate. Yes, Rose is a victim in this. But sometimes life just is like that. It’s complicated. And it makes him human.

#osblaine #nick june

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rokkucha · 5 hours ago

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crashing out over hiroaki nakamigawa being genuinely the best bpd rep i have ever seen in media. i’ve been in this fandom for barely 3 weeks now but he’s already come to mean so much to me as a character and i’m so so attached to him, like i will never stop being amazed by tetro danganronpa and how honest it is when it comes to underrepresented topics that are an uncomfortable reality for so many people that never really get to feel seen that way.

(impassioned analytical rambling & tons of spoilers ⬇️)

so many things that often get glossed over in fiction or get left implied are CONFRONTED in tetro, bluntly and unapologetically, while showing the consequences in a way that’s so raw but still so empathetic. especially things like the less “palatable” aspects of disabilities, like how dissociation is fucking annoying and severely inhibits your life and makes people see you as helpless when you cant even do anything about it with ojima, and how humiliating it can be to ask for help even when you really REALLY need it with kamimura. especially gendered issues like misogyny in teen girls’ home lives and being forced to grow up too quick with watari, male relationship abuse, its normalization & dismissal, and its effects on self esteem (not to mention when combined with child abuse) with yanagi, and how strong women realistically often have to become strong out of necessity (rather than just being built different girlbosses by nature) with hayashi. tsuno was also an amazing portrayal of ongoing successful recovery while at the same time one of self-imposed pressure and burnout.

then there’s some that become more apparent with outside perception, like isono getting straight up mischaracterized for being A Woman and not having enough screentime to be really understood, and sasaki. oh my god sasaki. sasaki being a victim of SA in school, then vilified for taking on a MUCH needed leadership role in an otherwise unruly group of equally scared teenagers, and fuck, of course she did some awful shit, but she was scared. all of them were. and hiroaki, her most dedicated hater, was the only one to realize that wasn’t who she truly was afterwards and empathize with her.

hiroaki specifically is such painfully and uncomfortably realistic bpd rep, but honestly? it’s a needed perspective. definitely for me, at least. a lot of the vile shit both other characters and fans say about him, real people in my life have said to me, and he’s not exactly recovery goals by any means but god dammit he is TRYING when all odds are against him and holy shit is that difficult enough as it is. he’s trying so fucking hard. i saw myself in him, a version of myself that struggled and felt how he felt, and i was rooting for him the whole time. i cried with him and i cheered when he made progress and i got emotional when someone empathized with him and was patient and forgiving like i wish someone had been with me.

what i love especially about hiroaki is how well-rounded he is in terms of bpd portrayal. he doesn’t just have splitting episodes or obsess over an fp or have super black and white views/opinions, but he also has horrible self-esteem issues that he hides behind an exaggerated ego and lashes out to hide how much he cares and feels crushing, overwhelming self-hatred because of things other people say or think. and even then, we see the less discussed aspects of more acknowledged symptoms with him too. when he splits, he feels immense remorse after. case in point, the sheer horror he felt at the end of [low talk]. he still sometimes tries to make things right where he can even though he can’t stop self-sabotaging. he has moments of kindness with multiple people to varying degrees of closeness.

and despite all this awful shit happening to and around him, he is making a valid fucking effort and god i will always defend him for that. he’s emotionally self-aware and he has goals and values and he cares about people in his life even if he’s bad at showing it. sure, he’s trapped in bad habits and a bad lifestyle, but also… he’s just a kid. he’s 17 years old doing and believing and enduring things no one should have to at that age. he’s been on his own since he was even younger too.

people fault him for backsliding in his attempts at Being Better but that is so fucking unfair, because it is never that goddamn simple. ever. you hear “recovery isn’t linear” just about everywhere, but it’s so rare to see that process explored so thoroughly in fiction and when it’s just brushed under the rug to make him out to be an irredeemable villain because it’s annoying or not entertaining enough, it’s… so painfully real.

the [stairwell] episode in particular was fucking brutal for me. i’ve been him in that situation, except instead of someone like tamba it was someone much closer to me than that. it was such a personal gut punch hearing her scream at him that he just can’t be a better person no matter how hard he tries because that’s just who he is. because he doesn’t want to change bad enough, because he’s innately selfish and cruel and evil and doomed to die alone and unloved. and he stands there and takes it while she hits him everywhere it hurts most, and while i will acknowledge tamba is just as scared and flawed as the rest of them, she says some of the most deplorable shit to him a person can say to someone until he just can’t take it anymore and proves her right. and just like that, he’s regressed back to square one again.

and tamba is never held accountable for how horribly she treated people, or even truly acknowledges how fucked up what she said to hiroaki was. it’s not even clear if she realizes the depth of it. that part is uncomfortably real for me, too. tetro is such peak fiction dude because the only reason i can’t like her is personal beef with her actions related to me and not her.

anyway i’m a shameless tetro glazer, hiroaki is my beautiful & beloved bpd princess, and everyone should be nicer to him and should also keep in mind that some of the shit you say about fictional characters you could inadvertently be saying about someone close to you as well. this fangan is doing something extremely rare and extremely valuable, and at the same time creating such a vulnerable space for people, so always be nice & be considerate <3

#hiroaki nakamigawa #tetro danganronpa pink #tetro danganronpa spoilers #tetro pink spoilers #i wrote this a few days ago but oughhh he’s so important to me

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lost-inanotherlife · 2 days ago

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ACT SIX AND FINAL.

Let's recap before the end: "I Do" is an episode about marriage that's not actually real and that stands for something else. The episode starts with Kate faking her Monica persona while roleplaying with her future husband Kevin. Kate/Monica plays the role of a "dangerous individual" while Kevin basically plays himself. The thing is that Kevin doesn't know that, in a way, he's getting played because Kate is, in fact, if not a "dangerous individual", a fugitive who's claiming to be someone else. The first scene of the episode also establishes Kate as the one who, symbolically, points a gun at herself. Coupled with the fact that her domestic life with Kevin is paralleled to her "domestic(ated)" life with Sawyer in their respective cages and that Kate could have always escaped her own cage, we realize that the one who's actually building up cages around herself is Kate and only Kate. The cage that Kate can't seem to be able to break free from is her own self. What's more, she's aware of it but she just can't leave that symbolical place. She wants to, but she can't.

With this premise we then must wonder: what's exactly the question that prompts the "I Do"? If Kate's marriage is a smokescreen, then the "I Do" we're talking about must be the answer to something else. This final act reveals the answer to this question.

If in ACT FIVE Kate/Monica could still pretend that everything was fine, that is not the case now. ACT SIX opens with Kate/Monica in her bathroom with a negative pregnancy test, sitting on the toilet, crying. Why is she crying? Is that because she's (un)happy about the result? I don't think so. I think she's crying because, just like the passport was a symbol for the Outside World calling her bluff, the pregnancy test is a symbol for the Outside World attempt at creeping inside... herself. To put it simply, this isn't about whether Kate wants a baby or not: this is about Kate finally realizing "what.the.actual.fuck.am.i.fucking.doing.here". Kate/Monica's life with Kevin is a giant ball of lies and, on top of the lies, she's also involving the man in her own troubles with the law. On a human level, of course we emphatize with Kate because she doesn't intent any harm, she just wants to feel at home. On the other hand, what she's doing is not exactly correct towards her partner. The pregnancy test scene serves the purpose of making her realize that she needs to end things now before they get bad.

KATE: Whatcha workin' on? KEVIN: Just finishing some IRs, and that fugitive recovery in Tampa. Being a cop is just endless paperwork. [Kate hands him a glass of lemonade, and he drinks] Thank you, sweetie. KATE: What if I told you I was a fugitive? [Kevin is speechless] What if I told you I was on the run for blowing up my father, and it was only a matter of time before you found out? KEVIN: This isn't funny. KATE: [Crying] It's not a joke. I almost had a baby, Kevin. Me, a baby! I can't do this! Taco night?! I don't do taco night! KEVIN: Ok, calm down, Monica... KATE: My name's not Monica! [Pause] I love you. But I can't stay. [Starts to walk away] KEVIN: Whoah, hey...

I think this dialogue well illustrates what I've been trying to say above: it's not as if Kate doesn't want a baby or even a taco night. It's that she can't. It's not about loving Kevin, it's about the fact that she just can't stay. As I said, she probably wants to, but she can't. And she can't because she's literally living the life of a fictional woman that doesn't exist which... is something that nobody ever asked her to do, honestly. I'm definitely not implying that this is all he fault but that she did know she was entering something that she shouldn't have. She had a degree of responsibility which she decided to ignore.

Now let's go to the next scene which is about Jack preparing for surgery. This little piece of dialogue with Ben is CRUCIAL, I'll just leave it here so not to spoil the fun but please keep it in mind:

BEN: Do you get nervous? Before you do surgery? JACK: I used to. Not anymore, no. BEN: Whatever happens, everything will be very different, won't it? JACK: No doubt about it.

In the meantime Danny goes to the cages and, after a fight, holds Sawyer at gunpoint. Another guy is holding Kate as gunpoint too but it's clear that it's just for their safety, Kate's not Picket's target because he doesn't have a beef with her, but with Sawyer.

In the operating room Jack carries out his secret plan: he makes a deliberate incision in Ben's kidney sac. In a weird way, he seems to have total contral over the situation, he's not nervous about his abilities but he's nervous about whether or not his plan would come to fruition.

Back to the cages, we have the agonizing scene where Sawyer has the upper hand over Danny, but the guy who's with Danny has the upper hand over Kate so basically this means that Sawyer's fucked. Sawyer lets go of the gun he had over Danny against Kate's protest. He's about to be executed (let's all remember the whole "Kate is Sawyer" theory) while Kate begs Danny to stop screaming "Please!! I'll do anything you want!" which is just bone-chilling if you stop for a second and think about Kate's past, her abusive father and the violence against her mother (very possibly against her, too) she had to watch/see in her own house (not to mention the implicit SA aspect which would be a whole other topic).

How can this situation could be solved? It looks like we might be in need of a... Jack-ex-machina! In the tragedy that's Kate (and Sawyer's)'s situation, one of Kate's "daydream" comes true. Someone finally steps in and saves the day. Someone finally shows that there is Good in the World, that there's someone who's out there protecting her. The confirmation of her secret belief is crucial and explains some of the things I'll say below.

You know what's next: Jack asks Tom to speak with Kate, Tom calls Danny and tells him to give Kate the walkie-talkie, Kate and Jack say the following:

KATE: Jack? Jack! JACK: Kate? You have about an hour headstart before they come after you. KATE: Where are you? Where are you? JACK: You remember what I told you on the beach? The day of the crash. You remember what story I told you when you were stitching me up? [Kate is silent on other end] DO YOU REMEMBER IT?! KATE: [Crying] YES! Yes, I remember! JACK: When you get safe, you radio me, and you tell that story. KATE: Jack, please. JACK: If I don't get a call from you in the next hour, I'm going to know something went wrong, and [turning to Tom] HE DIES!

Okay, let's go step by step. Do you remember Jack's little piece of dialogue with Ben? It was there because it was preparing us for this moment. The story that Jack told Kate in the pilot was EXACTLY about how he was so nervous during his first surgery that he made a huge mistake. He panicked but decided to "feel" fear for five seconds only. Then he regained control over himself and completed the surgery successfully.

Jack told Ben that he used to get nervous but not anymore and he stands to business because, as I said, he's not nervous about his abilities and he DELIBERATELY cut Ben's kidney, whereas the "mistake" he made in the past was not deliberate.

But this whole story doesn't simply tell us that Jack is well aware of what he's doing, he's not out-of-his-mind, so to speak. This story serves to reveal that the question that begs for an "I Do" is: "You remember what I told you on the beach? The day of the crash. You remember what story I told you when you were stitching me up? DO YOU REMEMBER IT?"

Of course Kate does. This is the moment where it all began. It's one of their most intimate moments in the whole show like the faces of these two very well show that they understand it too (I love them, Sawyer and Juliet just Understand Stuff On the Spot):

Jack's asking Kate about his story because this is a covert way of saying: I'm here, I've got your back. Last time I needed you there for me and you were there and you did great. This time I need you to leave, I need you to run. I BELIEVE IN YOU. DO YOU REMEMBER IT?

This is what Kate has always been wanting for all her life: someone that comes in and saves the day, the Good Hero, the Good Soldier, the Good Father but, most importantly, someone who believes in her. It's very important for me to reiterate that she doesn't want that because she feels like a damsel in needs of saving, she wants that because it allows her to believe that she can become that, that she can be the Good Hero. It grounds her AND gives her hope for her future. Simply put: it shows her that she can, in fact, change, that she's not destined for cages and prisons but for homes and love as well. It shows her that there's someone out there in the World rooting for her.

Jack and Kate are having the most intimate and vulnerable conversaion over a fucking walkie-talkie in front of a handful of people and with an anesthetisized Ben on the table sorry but LMAO, they ARE the drama!

We then have the final dialogue and this is the stroke of genius:

KATE: I can't leave without you! JACK: Yes, you are. Go! KATE: Jack! I can't! JACK: Go, now! KATE: I can't! JACK: Kate, dammit, RUN!

Of course Kate can't leave. Of course she can't leave without that one person who makes her feel what "home" could be. She's tried so hard with Kevin and that didn't work out because it wasn't an actual home she was looking for, it wasn't domestic life... it was the feeling of being cared for, protected, supported.

Do you remember Kate's phone call to the marshal in ACT FOUR? Well, this is a more or less the same scene (there are several reversal at play, for instance Jack "calls" Kate, whereas Kate calls the marshal), obviously with the drama amped up to over nine thousand:

Rain pouring over Kate: check. Call with authoritative male figure: check. Weird/intimated/fucked-up relationship with said figure: check. Kate doesn't want to initially but eventually does what said figure tells her to do: also check. Said figure deeply understands Kate: check. The fact that said figure deeply gets Kate both pisses Kate off big time and fascinates her: check.

Jack's paralleled to the Marshal but there is a HUGE difference that allows us to understand that the comparison is not done to only check for similarities, but to check for the fundamental difference. The HUGE difference is that while the marshal is fundamentally doing his job while also being deeply obsessed with Kate in a creepy and maldjusted way, Jack cares about Kate's freedom. Jack wants Kate's freedom. As a matter of fact, he's just committed something deeply unethical in general and specifically downright against his "Do No Harm" credo and his profession... just for Kate's freedom. And if you remember the episode "Do No Harm" you know that Jack doesn't take that shit lightly at all. Like, at all. For Jack Kate's freedom is top priority. Why? Well, you little meatballs, because he loves her, of course! This is no fake ass love stroy like the one between "Monica" and Kevin. This is real. They are REAL.

To conclude, this episode is about Kate and Jack getting figuratively married. They renew their vows to each other, the same vows they implicitily made the first day they met on the island. The issue is that their symbolical marriage is based on its own impossibility: Kate can't leave without Jack because Jack is the person that will "save" her, but the only way for Kate to leave is without Jack. And the only thing that Jack truly wants is for Kate to be free which is tantamount to saying that Jack knows that he cannot be with Kate. Which, in turns, means to Kate that she can't be "saved", that she'll never be "good". And the circle repeat itself.

I hope I've convinced you that Kate is a great character with many complexities and layers and that her "love story" is not just an ensemble of trite tropes but it's way more than that: it's about Kate trying to be herself, or, better, to become what she wants to be through being loved, supported and cared for and isn't that something we can all relate to?

Please say something if you're read this far, let's become friends or something cause I can't believe I finally wrote all this and you finally read all this!

"I Do" or when Kate and Jack almost got (figuratively) married

I've previously stated that I don't find "I Do" particularly excellent when it comes to Kate's flashback story. I still stand by that. From a creative point of view Kate reiventing herself as Monica and getting married to a police officer doesn't exactly scream "genius". Conversely, the idea for her flashback in "Left Behind" is way more compelling and allows us to see sides of Kate that aren't necessarily related to her interior romantic love life (in that episode Kate and Cassidy teams up to "con" Kate's mother in order for Kate to have a moment with her without getting arrested).

Having said that, "I Do" is, overall, a fucking great episode. Everything and I mean EVERYTHING is written and shot to perfection so I thought to write a little meta about it.

Now, before we move on to the analysis, let's please consider that the previous Kate-centric episode is S2E9 "What Kate Did". I wrote an extensive meta about it and you can find it here. For the sake of this meta, though, all you need to know is this: what Kate sees in Sawyer is herself, specifically what she thinks she is in the present moment based on the things she's done in the past, i.e. a "bad" person or a person capable of doing "bad" things; what Kate sees in Jack is her potential self, what she thinks she can become in the present moment and simply be in the future because she intimately thinks she's capable of being "good" and doing "good" things.

In "What Kate Did" she chooses the black horse representing her "dark" self, therefore she chooses Sawyer. In "I Do" she symbolically chooses Sawyer again but things get a litte bit more complicated because this time Jack says his "I do" and Kate finds that she can't quite say "I do" back yet, but she can't say goodbye to her potential either: in other words she can't leave Jack/her potential behind. You'll see what I mean in this meta.

ACT ONE.

The episode opens with the song "Slowly" in the background. We hear the following lyrics:

Tell me you love me again but this time slowly 'Cause you're talkin' too fast, baby, much fast Come on and squeeze me again but this time slowly 'Cause I like your grasp but it's much fast

You said that our love will grow together 'Cause your mine all mine

Foreshadowing: this episode will be about "I love yous" and about something that's growing.

It'll also be about make-believe as we see a 50s-styled Kate opening a box containing a wedding veil. A man knocks on her door and we see the following dialogue:

MAN: Police, open the door. KATE: [Nervously] Um. Everything's alright in here. MAN: Ma'am, we have reason to believe that someone extremely dangerous is in the motel. We're conducting a room-to-room search. KATE: [Starting to smile] I'm alone, officer. MAN: The person could be holding you at gunpoint, forcing you to say that. Please open the door. KATE: I don't think I should. MAN: Then you have three seconds before I break this door down. One... two... [Kate stands by and opens the door right before he says "three", revealing the policeman, Kevin.] KEVIN: Hey. Wanna get it on? dialogue from https://lostpedia.fandom.com

We the audience (who already know about Kate's past) are already tipped off to the fact that this is all fake. Kate is clearly wearing a mask, she's being someone else, someone who perhaps she'd like to be or, at least, she's putting on a new persona-dress to see if it fits. Spoiler alert: it doesn't. However, this is also extraordinarily real because Kate's indeed a fugitive, she might as well be "the dangerous someone in the motel" herself. Ironically, in the scenario where Kate is the dangerous person in the motel, she's also the person who's holding at gunpoint... herself, forcing herself to say stuff. Interesting, right? In other words, the show is telling us to pay close attention because the episode will play with the line between fiction and reality.

In the very second scene there's a defeated Sawyer throwing rocks without purpose. Kate sees something's wrong with him, he's slowly giving up. She tells him to get a fish biscuit for her, implicitly telling him: "Provide for me, be here for me, don't give up". Sawyer's not stupid and immediately retorts with a "Psh. What, you trying to keep me feeling productive?".

In the last scene of Act 1, we're introduced to the final protagonist of this episode, Jack, and we discover what's growing as the song alluded in the very first scene: "JACK: [To Ben] The tumor on your spine is borderline inoperable. And at the rate it's growing, that borderline goes away in about one week".

By the end of Act 1 we have all the info we need to understand this episode: it'll be about love, it's gonna make us believe things that are not true and the thing that's growing on Ben's spine will be the keystone to put all the pieces of the puzzle together.

To be continued!

#IT IS DONE!!!#lost #lost 2004 #lost abc #lost tv series #abc lost #jack shephard #kate austen #james sawyer ford #benjamin linus #juliet burke #i do #lost meta

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