#i expected them to say “dance battle!!” but i didnt expect them to actually do it 😭 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

honeypirate · 4 years

Note

I like your writing a lot (especially fire force).I have a request for Benimaru x reader who can’t speak, she can fight and her ability is good but everyone ignores her,Beni noticed that, how would he comfort her or maybe confess to her.

Hey thanks for the request! I really liked writing this and I got to include the only JSL sign I know which is for thank you 😊 I hope you like this!

Your neck hurt from where the blast hit you but you used the momentum to your advantage, turning it into a back handspring. You slide on your hands then when you land on your feet you’re pushed a little more from the force.

You don’t let the white clad pop off any more blasts, immediately pulling the heat from the atmosphere around you and adding it to your flames as you use your ignition ability. the rocks around your feet begin to float, making them glow then light on fire, burning bright and hot as you pour the heat and energy into them. You snap and they all fly towards the white clad “rocks? That’s your weapon?” the white clad begins to laugh but you just smirk. Using your ability to control the speed and precision of each one. you send them all to specific pressure points in the white clad’s body, one to the neck, one to the jaw, and one to each temple.

You watch as they strike them, the smirk on your lips growing into a look of satisfaction as the white clad falls to the ground, unaware of the man watching you from his place in the sky.

Waka hops down from his flaming broom to the tower beside Konro and he hums “who is that?” he asks and Konro sighs “ y/n l/n.” “Is she new?” Konro shakes his head “shes been here two years almost. She’s a mute, lost her voice when an infernal attacked her home, her parents died and the burning roof fell on her. She landed on the edge of a knocked over chair and the force of it destroyed her voice box.” Waka doesn't say anything, just watches as you pop your neck and stretch out your shoulders, making your way back to the guardhouse since he called the fight over.

You enter the guardhouse and like usual, no one really looks at you. You get one or two nods but this was normal, you couldn’t speak and so people didn’t want to even try to talk to you. Having to wait while you write down responses or trying to learn how to read your gestures or lips was just too hard for them, you guess. But you really didn’t mind. You liked to be on your own for the most part, used to it by now. Benimaru watched your interactions with your peers and scowled, why did they treat you like an outsider?

After your shower you decide to head on a walk to watch the stars before you go to bed, walking down the nearly empty streets as you cleared and relaxed your mind. .“Hey” his voice makes you jump and you clutch at your heart with a small smile and empty laugh. “Sorry, i didn't mean to scare you” you smile softly at him, a little confused as to why the captain is talking to you but he doesn’t seem commanding right now so you don't salute, which he doesn't mind.

You raise your hand to your throat and he nods “i know. Konro told me” you raise your eyebrows and he looks into your eyes for a moment, he didn’t know it was possible for someone to have such beautiful eyes. “Can i walk with you?” he asks and you stare, shocked, for a moment before smiling again and nodding.

“I saw you fight today” you feel butterflies enter your stomach, he watched you fight? He took time to watch ~you~ fight? You couldn’t believe it, you thought for sure there was someone better to watch, someone more powerful. “You’re strong” he says and you feel your cheeks warm, you bow your head in thanks and you flatten your hands, bringing the edge of your right hand against the back of your left wrist in the JSL sign for thank you. He watches you and understands your sign, already having looked up some basics before talking to you.

When you raise your head he gets a glimpse of your adorable blush and the corners of his mouth twitch, threatening a smile that he forces away.

You walk in comfortable silence for a while, stopping by the river for a moment to look up at the moon before your curiosity got the best of you. You turn towards him and lay your hand on his shoulder so he would look at you. You raise your eyebrows in question and mouth the word “why?” “why do i walk with you?” he asks and you nod, your hand falling from his shoulder

“i don't understand why you’re an outsider if you’ve been here for 2 years. I want to spend time with you and see if you’re a good or bad fit in the company. So far, your fighting is powerful, you are trained well and obviously know what you’re doing. I’ll be spending the next few days with you to test your skills as well as learn why you’re still an outsider and why you have no friends” his words were blunt and although you didnt mind not really having friends in your company, it still stung to have him say it so bluntly. It’s not like they dont like you or anything, they just dont want to spend the time getting to know you. You furrow your brows, hoping he doesnt make you leave the company because of that.

Sure enough, the morning comes and he’s there, watching you during breakfast and noticing how you interacted with team mates, noticing how they all just .. ignored you. He humphs, catching Konro’s attention. “She does her thing, and everyone just lets her. It’s like shes a ghost. I’m not sure if she minds though. We talk sometimes, she’ll write down responses or make signs she knows, sometimes she mouths words and i’ll read her lips”

The afternoon rolls around and after Benimaru is finished with his paperwork he walks the halls, asking any team member he runs into about you. “Shes just.. weird.” “It’s weird shes mute.” “it makes me uncomfortable to talk to her” and more things were said, but none of them were worse than that. Everyone just didnt want to try talking to you because they were uncomfortable with that way of communicating. It annoyed him how stupid his company was. He asked them if they trusted you in battle though, and all the answers were yes. They all knew how you fought and you were amazing and powerful. All of them would team up with you on the field in an instant.

He watches as you train, alone as usual, and studies your fighting style. It was a mess but he was impressed because it actually worked? Like you made your own style that was the opposite of every other style, he went through your style in his head, putting it against other styles he has seen from whte clad and you had the right angles and moves to completely work around them.

He throws off his sleeve and stands in front of you, wanting to put you to the real test. He represses a smile, he actually hopes you give him a good fight worth his time. You smirk, there was no way you could beat him but you’d give it your all.

He nods, signalling for you to go and you use your ignition powers, taking the rocks behind him on the ground to fly towards him with the same force as the ones with the white clad. As he was distracted turning his head to see, you use the same power, this time focusing it on the soles of your shoes and adding to the power and force to which you ran. He gasped softly as you surprised him, appearing right beside him as you went to jab but as he went to dodge you faked him out, kicking the back of his knees and making him fall flat on his back.

You gasp softly and raise your hand to your mouth, you didn't expect to actually land a hit on the Captain. You hold your hand down to him and he takes it with the smallest of smiles. “I didn’t expect that” he says “you surprised me, but know this, it won't happen again.” he dusts himself off and then gets back into position and makes eye contact “begin”

He was right, it was a fluke surprise thing. You never got another hit in but you fought so hard you kept him on his toes. It was like a dance as you sparred. you didn't hold back and neither did he, although he did withhold his ability. You almost thought at the end you would get him again but he twisted the last second and you ended up flat on your back as he crouched beside you. “You’re more powerful than I first thought” he said and you felt your cheeks flush.

At dinner, he moves from his usual spot at the head table and finds you outside on the back porch, leaning against one of the beams and tossing bits of your rice to the birds. “Is this.. Your normal?” he asks when he sits beside you and you straighten up, not expecting to see him again today. You nod twice quickly and he hums before sitting beside you. “The company, they trust you in fights but ignore you in person, it doesn't make sense.” you laugh, just a soft sound of air from your nose and he cursed the sake he had at dinner for making it harder to hide his smile.

“Do you care?” he asks and you shrug. You didnt really care now but at first it was hard. You used to be the center of attention, laughing and joking and making friends easy. But two years later you had zero real friends.

“cause i could make them treat you better” he says and you look at him with wide eyes and mouth “Dont.” while you shake your head. He laughs a little and the sound makes you feel warm despite the cool night breeze. You mouth you next words slowly so he could read your lips “not a big deal” he nods “i envy you. Sometimes i wish people wouldn't talk to me” you give him a soft look with another airy laugh from your nose that says “i guess we envy each other”

Since then, even if you didn’t see him all day or communicate with him, he would eat dinner beside you outside every night. He decided that since he couldn't make anyone be your friend, he would be your friend. He would ask you simple questions at first, yes or no, before he got more comfortable with your responses and knew what you were saying with your eyes and facial expressions. Sometimes you didn't even have to mouth anything at him if it was an easy night.

He got back late tonight tho and missed dinner. You sat on the porch and felt like your heart wasn’t in your chest as you picked at your meal, feeding most of it to the birds and the stray dog that came around sometimes. You could tell you were developing feelings for your captain and it felt so cliche. You knew nothing could come of this so you just forced those feelings down, convincing yourself that your empty heart was just heartburn and it’ll go away eventually.

The next day you had off, so you spent it like you usually do any other off day. You took your sketchbook and pencils and went to the top of one of the guard towers.

You sit in the sun and enjoy the cool afternoon, the sounds of the city and pencils softly dragging across paper filling your senses. “You're pretty good” he says and you don't even flinch, you just smirk, used to his silent ways by now. You look up at him and roll your eyes before smiling softly and waiting for him to tell you what he’s doing. He sits beside you and you turn your body so you could look at him.

“is this how you spend your day off?” you nod and he hums “it’s nice up here, I can see why you like it” he holds his hand out for your pad and you hesitate for a moment before handing it to him. He raises an eyebrow at your hesitation but understands when he flips through the pages. It’s pages were filled with drawings of your company, team mates, the guardhouse, Konro had a few pages, you had to admit it was fun to sketch his hair and large stature. What impressed him the most thought, were the pages that had pictures of him.

Two or three pages had multiple different angles of his face but his favorite was the one where you drew him sitting beside you at dinner. You caught the feelings in his eyes and his body language, he looked like just a peaceful man. You titled it, the captain’s peace. And he felt his cheeks flush just slightly.

He holds his hand out for a pencil as he flips to a clean page and you set it gently against his palm, your soft fingers grazing his calluses send tingles up his arm.

He turns so you can't see the sketch pad, leaning it against his knee that he brought up and tucking his other foot behind that leg. You bring your knees up and lean your head against them, watching him as he sketches what you assume was the city. Your eyes focus on the clouds that roll by behind him as you just enjoy the soft sounds of pencil against paper. When the paper tears you gasp and look back to him, reaching out for it, wanting to see his work. “Not this time” he says with a chuckle and folds the drawing, tucking it inside his shirt. You pout and he about gives in, it was the cutest thing he’s ever seen.

He hands you back your pad and your pencil and you furrow your brows as you roll your eyes, taking the pad with a huff. You quickly sketch out a rough drawing of the city below surrounding the guard tower, then you draw more details on the tower before you add in him holding your pad and drawing and you sitting beside him. You title it, keep you secrets then, and then tear it out carefully and hand it to him. He laughs when he reads your title and folds it as well, placing it beside his other.

That night, in the middle of dinner, the alarm rings. Your bowls are forgotten about as you drop everything you’re doing. You run alongside Benimaru before you grin and salute him before running down a side road to fulfill your duty of getting the people to safety before helping out if you are needed, which you most likely would be needed with the multiple infernals. Beni does what he does best, gets brooms and goes straight to the largest infernal.

When you both get back, you sit beside him on the porch, your food cold and your bodies exhausted. You lay back on the hardwood at the same time, making you both smile softly at the ceiling. “You did well.” he said and you felt a sense of pride enter your heart. You reach out to pat the back of his hand, a way of returning the compliment, but you gasp when as you try to move your hand, he hooks his pinky around yours and holds your hand there beside his. You feel your cheeks warm because of this action, your heart racing.

Sure, the company saw your growing friendship, and as weird as they thought it was, they wouldn’t say anything. They would pretend they saw and heard nothing, too nervous of what their captain would do if they started anything.

You couldnt sleep, your face still felt warm from the small contact you had with him. You get up and walk down to the river, watching the moon hanging low as the morning approached. You sighed as you looked down into the water, looking at the reflection as you leaned against the railing and set your head against your arms.

You see his reflection, he’s looking at you in the reflection of the calm water. He smiles softly and sets a hand on your shoulder “it’s a nice night” he says softly, like his voice was only for your ears. You turn and look up at him with a small nod before smiling at him. His eyes looked tired, like he hadn't slept either. You reach your hand up, wanting to touch him but your hand freezes in the air and you frown. You dont really know if this is okay, you dont want to make him uncomfortable or anything by touching him. You almost drop your hand but he takes it, bringing it to his own face “it’s okay” he whispers and you feel your stomach flood with butterflies.

You reach your other hand up, cupping both sides of his face as your thumbs brush across his skin. You looked at him like you really saw him, not like he was some spectacle of power to behold. You looked at him like he was just benimaru, nothing more nothing less. That’s why he fell for you.

“If those bastards,”he brushes your hair from your forehead and smiles, truly smiles down at you, you’d think he was drinking but his breath smells like mint toothpaste. “can't see your worth, as a friend and comrade outside of battle. And since you don't want me to make them... “ he cups your cheeks as your hands move to his shoulders “Maybe, you'd allow me to stay by your side” he says as his face draws nearer to yours.

Your hands move around his middle as you close the distance between him, gripping the back of his shirt in your fists as you stand on your tiptoes to brush your nose against his, making him gasp softly before chuckling. “I take that as a yes” he says and you nod, your heart hammering in your chest as tingles run across your skin.

He looks deep in your eyes for a moment, and you try to put your soul in them. Try to tell him how you feel about him with just a look. He smiles and presses forehead to yours with a soft sigh “I can see everything in your eyes” he whispers before pressing his lips to yours.

(Bonus bc the story flowed different than I imagined in that moment and I want it to stay relevant)

He leads you by the hand to his bedroom, nothing in mind, just the desire to sleep. Once in his room he lets go of your hand to take off his shirt and you walk further in, looking round at his things. You smile when you spot the drawing on his dresser, the one you made for him. You gasp softly, gaining his attention as you take a step forward. “I uh” he swallows hard, a little embarrassed as you pick up the paper

The drawing he made, was of you. And it was beautiful. Your hair in the wind and your gaze far away as you reasted your head against your knees. It was titled ‘silent, strong, beautiful.’

#benimaru x you #benimaru shinmon fire force #benimaru fluff #enen no shouboutai benimaru #benimaru x fem!reader #benimaru x y/n #benimaru x reader #benimaru fanfiction #fire force fluff #fire force fanfiction

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sainadazai · 4 years

Text

When your crush is angry all the time

Ch. 1

Something fun at an all girls school

Chapter 1

Something fun in an

✨all girls school✨

•○●○•°•○●○•°•○●○•°•○●○•°•○●○•°

"Alright, despite how much the staff have opposed the right for students to watch t.v. during school time....our principle believes that this is actually going to be informative. Now girls, students with all sorts of quirk and backgrounds can be accepted to U.A. I expect you all to respect the people on this t.v as your future colleagues. NO JOKES."

"Pst..wish she would just shut up so we can see the hot guys..." Maiyumi whispered to no one particular

"I know, I haven't seen a man since I got kidnapped last year."

"Most of us havent seen anyone since being kidnapped, or you know, FUCKING ARESTED!" Y/n whisper-yelled. She was still very pissed that even though, she was obviously kidnapped-and meant to be killed- the fucking police blamed her. Dad chalked it up to them being jealous, but y/n really wasn't having it. Imagine it's the third time you were kidnapped and tortured before the age of 16, and it was supposedly your fault.

Technically, they could've arrested her for burning down the building two weeks later, obviously while empty, she admitted that was wrong. Still, they got what they deserved, and she got frozen yogurt from down the street. As she would say: now that's proper treatment after a kidnapping 😎

"L/n thats enough, we all know the story by now, and we do not need to hear it again"

"But you shoulda been there, the audacity of them to say I was working with those guys!?! Those villains were way below MY level. I mean c'mon, if I was a villain i'd be way cooler than those nobodies."

"Oh.my.god. y/n I love you, but shit up so we can watch hot U.A. boys fight each other!"

"Ms. Hitoka!Unacceptable, we are here to learn from our follow young heros, not sexualize them"

"I heard midnight is gonna be there," Katna whispered towards the group, front the back of the room. Mind you, she was in a position to pounce, considering, much like her classmates, she hadn't seen a boy in years.

"MIDNIGHT IS SOOO HOT" y/n yelled, forgetting that their teacher was in the front cursing herself for not accepting that sugar-baby job, and never meeting these obnoxious and horny teens.

"For FUCKS SAKE, JUST WATCH THE TV"

As the teacher yelled all heads turned to face her and ignore their previous conversations. Y/n and Maiyumi had grown soft smiles, finally welcoming back the teacher they know and love.

You see, LADY STATIC was an ex-pro hero, her quirk was projection. She could pick up any video signals from any device and project exactly what the device was seeing, or playing. She called all cameras her bitch....several times. So, as far as teaching went, she could only last a couple of minutes of seriousness in the beginning of class each day, before she erupted in a fit of lewd comments, brags, and most importantly curse words.

The black screen of the tv suddenly turned on revealing the large stadium that must be where the festival would take place. Y/n didnt really want to watch, it made her kind of sad knowing there were kids out there with the energy to try at something so dumb. A competition where you stay within grade, with supervision, and limits, and rules, and no real risk. It all sounded boring to her. She would either want to sit in bed eating and watching anime, or actually feel something.

The idea of a battle where you aren't risking your life seemed pretty dull to her. See...y/n along with her best friend maiyumi, was an adrenaline junkie. Those two were the biggest non-villain troublemakers the world has yet to see.

Finding it fun to jump off bridges, run across intersections, and fight each other with no rules or precautions. After living a life where most people you meet want you dead, and most of your life has just been trauma, everything gets more and more boring. Until you don't even mind risking your life just to feel something.

However, what y/n did feel, very frequently, was horny. She wouldn't lie and say that she has indulged in some things, despite there being only girls in her private hero academy. However, she craved men, simply because they were something she hadn't had yet. So in the nature of being royalty, if she hadn't had it, she wanted it.

"..booo"

"How could say that, you meant to be representing our school"

"Not my fault the rest of you are just stepping stones to my victory."

Y/n finally focused back on the screen, she was seeing a very up close image of a blonde boy with red eyes, this being the first man she saw since the police 5 months ago. Her eyes lit up, and sub-consciously her body started to glow different colors. Shifting as quickly as the Led lights in her dorm.

"Mind your quirk princess" Saina, the class grump-who lowkey crushes on y/n- sneers.

"Aww, sorry, thanks for reminding me daddy" Y/n responded, feigning innocence but still not breaking eye contact with the screen.

She mentally focused on subsiding her quirk, but it took awhile for her to completely stop glowing.

Once she was y/n watched the first parts of the festival, noting exactly what that blonde boy was doing. Not without checking out some of the other students. Obviously, but something about those red eyes had her enticed. So she made sure to focus on him.

As she watched she learned that his quirk was fire, and he used it very differently than she did. She scribbled down a random note about it to make it seem like she was studying and trying to improve herself. Then, focused back on every intricate curve of his face instead. How he scowled, he really looked angry, but being one of those U.A. kids, she couldn't help but doubt he really had anything to be angry about.

Soon the girl found herself imagining him in some sort of serious situation, what could make somebody so angry?

And before she knew it, his fighting figure disappeared from the tv as an image of midnight replayed him, announcing that he had one his fight. The last fight wasn't it? Meaning that the rage boy must've won the whole thing. y/n really wasn't impressed, obviously he was only fighting other U.A. students. How hard could that be? However, she was excited that he won for some reason.

While y/n watched him she couldn't help but wish she was the one fight. Oh to be punched by that man. Every kick he would throw sent goosebumps down her body. Plus when he used that quirk, shit was it hot. Pun intended. Fire seemed like such a simple quirk, but simple works best. That last fight against Todoroki, that excited her.

See, y/n liked adventures away from the school ground, and since she could fly..well. She knew Todoroki. He was always considerate enough not to be weirded out by her when she would sneak into his house, her parents knew his dad well, so she pretty much only knew that one place. He was logical and so he understood that she isn't really perverted, she simply hasn't seen boys in a very long time. Todoroki figured if he hadn't seen a female in three years he might become more fond of them as well.

"Now lets award the metals"

She looked up at the screen to see a podium holding the winners and runner ups. Atop it was the boy, he was announced as Katsuki Bakugou. He was chained to the post and attacking the air, and y/n found this insanely hot. She assumed that since Todoroki hadn't given his all, that boom boom might be upsetting. However, she never expected to see this beautiful sight on the tv screen of her classroom. The sight was stuck in her mind for days.

She thought about it during dance class.

She thought about it during quirk training.

She thought about it during lunch.

During "sleepovers"

During missions with her boss - gang orca

During meeting with the principle

Even during visit time with her parents. It was then she decided she had to do something about it. Now, even though most girls at her school looked down upon U.A. the parents and staff didn't. For the girls it was about how truly jealous they were that those students, even with lesser power, would get to become heros. While us here, would become noblewomen, or princesses or be married off into other famous quirk families.

Y/n only was jealous because her mother spent more time with U.A. students than with her and her brothers. Seeing her mother was midnight, yes, the pro-hero. While that sounds cool, it isn't. Her mother and father dated for 1 month before getting married on a whim. Her father being a prince was something mom always described as FUCKINZg SEGGSYYY. Yes, you could blame midnight for y/ns horny behaviors.

Unfortunately for midnight, royal quirks don't mix with other quirks. None of her children have her quirk. Her daughter has Elementus total control, her middle son has Elementus manipulate, and youngest son has Elementus transform. So she is left with a 7 year old that can turn himself into water if he doesn't want to get in trouble....yeah. So that at home life was strange...

"Mom, dad, I wanna be hero"

"Bullshit, no you don't bahaha"

"I do, mom"

"Why"

"Dad, I wanna help people you know, like mom does. I wanna make the world better instead of just becoming a queen and sitting in a house all day." Y/n lied, she would love to sit around doing nothing while her rich, king husband did all the work. Then she could just eat and watch anime and be unbothered. However, in the moment, y/n forgot about her dream future. All she wanted in that moment was to see boom boom everyday. yuh, I said it..boom boom.

"Babe, she has a fair point...plus its not like chiyo can do anything with his quirk"

"What do you mean?! CHiyo's quirk is so cool dad, one time he took all the oxygen out of my bod and then I couldn't do anything, it was so cool!"

"see...."

"Yea,yea i see"

"My love, can't you just recommend her to U.A. so you can keep an eye on her. We both knew she was destined to be a hero at some point."

"Uhm. Babe. She only wants to go so she can see boys."

"What?!My princess would never, you heard it, she wants to help people. Our sons would never say such things, we should proud, love"

"Honey, she is lying."

"No, I'm not a mom, I could care less about boys. All the girls at this school can do the same things, if not better. "

"Y/N! I love you so much my precious horny little fuck"Her mother sprang up from her seat and embarrassed her.

"I can't believe this is my life.." dad sighed.

"But yeah, that proves your point honey, if she is gay then she must mean it. Yayyy. N/N is coming to school with meeee!!"

"I- yeah mom."

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rogueshipagogo · 5 years

Text

ppl have been asking me my opinions on space channel 5 vr... and i guess since i bought a vr headset off craigslist just so i could play it and speedrun it before work the day it came out... i should talk abt it now... i dont rly think i’ll be able to separate it into ‘good’ and ‘bad’ things i think i’m just going to do a rambly stream of consciousness bc i have a headache... but i DO have good things to say abt this game... so st.... sta stay t tune d

right off the bat, the thing i appreciate most abt this game- i like that space channel 5 vr doesnt have cash grab vibes. i Do genuinely believe that they Wanted to make this game For the people who are still obsessed with it, and that they ultimately did what they set out to do when they intended to scale certain aspects of the series up conceptually to match the way the fandom perceives it nowadays. but like i’ve said before... i’m not going to Disagree with the very common conclusion that it Needed to be longer, or at Least more intricate plot-wise. one of my fun and fresh excuses for sc5vr being as short as it is is because you arent really supposed to be playing vr games for too long anyways, its really disorienting and kinda painful, but even that doesn’t account for why so much of the game that we got is a rehash of old settings, concepts, songs, and characters. [i dont even have a problem with reusing old songs, i just think the ones they chose ended up being misleading]

for example i think it makes sense that the first report is a remake of the first games first report on the surface, it’s meant to take you back to the way the first game felt and give you an idea of what it means that the games classic scenery can be rendered in actual high quality detail now [same with the recurrence of events like encountering the space pirates in the asteroid belt/the last battle against a villain being singing to it about what it’s done wrong], but i really thought, like, report 1 was going to end up being a simulated scenario for the benefit of lou and kee’s training... which i dont think ended up being the case??? i think they really did write ‘ok here you are in the first game’s setting again, fighting the old enemies again, because... :^) ok have fun playing report 2!’

and then whats report 2... you fight another old boss from the first game... but theres Still no clear villain or motivation for anything thats happening... and there wont be until like... basically the end of the game...

like, glitter is a really cute character, but its kind of underwhelming that shes just a random citizen who was kidnapped by an entity that we NEVER LEARN ANYTHING ABOUT... like part 1 was extremely notable for being about corporate greed and corruption, part 2 honestly wasnt that political in comparison but at least made you do a think wrt purge’s motivation and his methods, and this game just has a plot device that feels like it’ll do smth but then ends up not doing anything beyond what we already learned about it from the information on its character bio before the game was out. if it turns out that cell x is actually relevant again in a future entry in the franchise and they do have a more developed concept for what cell x Is in mind, i’ll do an entire backflip, but for now its just chalked up to being the result of More Space Hijinks that dont need to be explained

ESPECIALLY WITH ALL OF THE ALLUSIONS TO CELL X BEING AN ENTITY THAT FEEDS OFF OF DANCE ENERGY... it had me thinking that there would have to be some New Method of fighting it off that didn’t just lend it more power in the process, but nah apparently just tacking on the disclaimer ‘*this dance energy is not for glitter’ is enough to turn it from smth it can consume for power into big attacks you can use to kill it... like honestly it sounds like im asking for a lot from a game that has Never made too much sense, but considering that in part 2 they could add details like ‘oh didnt you know purge can open pocket dimensions? ulala is capable of manifesting tangible dance energy and the only other person who can do that is purge???’, its not like they havent come up with weird new shit for dance energy to do within the plot before. they just didnt do it in this game fsr

like did anyone else think that cell x/glitter was going to be the result of tossing purge out into deep space and him encountering the sc5 universe’s equivalent of an eldritch alien creature, smth more bestial than morolians?? even if purge wasnt part of it, when you say ‘uh oh, this guy Eats this society’s only source of energy!!!’ i expect the stakes to get HIGH, and i want the ramifications of it to be kinda STARTLING, because blank wanted money and purge wanted to ritualistically end the world but something this near to an ecological disaster that would force an entire paradigm shift hasn’t occurred yet in the series?? its totally new!!! there’s a lot they could do with this but OH DONT WORRY ABOUT IT EVERYONE ulala knows how to make dance energy kill cell x instead of feed it she’s got this we’re good no need to investigate more into all that

i can’t explain why the game is like this. and i dont expect grounding to address it in any meaningful way either. i’m sure they’re Aware of these complaints by now- the game reviewing community has Not been kind to sc5vr specifically due to all of these shortcomings [i didnt even touch on the issues with motion sensing and how many of the games mechanics were removed in favor of smth presumably easier to program yet much less satisfying, like Secret Moves just being mini quicktime events and Turning Your Ratings Into Stars just being replaced with the standard Three Strikes You’re Out method of scoring], but the pr team still seems very enthusiastic abt the game and is still promising dlc and potentially even more games in the series after this one- heres hoping that they’ll at least take these grievances to heart and consider making the experience not only more accessible [aka it will... go back to being a rhythm game with controller input.... and not... an exclusive vr experience...], but also as immersive and detailed as the old games, with less reused plot beats. i can let some of it off the hook in this game simply because i’m aware that it began its life as a tech demo that was only supposed to be that initial first report from the first game But Happening All Around You!, but i Really dont think they could get away with doing this little to expand upon the groundwork set by the first two games again. not with the way people remember part 2 being such a vast upgrade from part 1... the bar had been set so high that this just felt like a huge backslide into something even sillier and harder to take seriously than part 1 before we had any idea what kind of staying power the franchise would have as a hallmark of sega’s quirky antics. like... this game is what i think space channel 5 looks like to people who don’t understand the appeal of the first two games. and that scares me

but i guess for the most part, aside from wishing they had done more to revitalize the setting and the lore of the sc5 universe itself, im kind of glad it didnt do a lot to change the existing storylines the characters have kinda forged for themselves- here i was stressing out that they would pull out some plot development that would utterly and drastically change the way we talked abt the series for the rest of time, but so little happened and so little was added to the bank of sc5 lore that we can kind of all just carry on as usual and keep having the same headcanons we always had.

BUT!!! there ARE a lot of cute little details here and there that make the experience feel wholesome and like i said not an utter cashgrab- like so many of the character profiles referencing previous games [all of the references to npcs in this game being relatives of the npcs of the last games made me lose it] and how often ulala changes her expressions up and looks right at you and talks to you. the new music they wrote for the game also all slaps and everyones redesigns [if they got a redesign... rip pudding] are stunning

one of the most important things they did in this game was give a nice sort of Update to every character.... for example explaining that ulala isn’t a rookie reporter any more like she was in the first 2 games, that she’s moved up to being in charge of training new channel 5 reporters, and that while pudding is still somewhat stuck on her rivalry with ulala her career isn’t stagnant either, she was just cast in a romcom series as the lead... which is really nice considering how in the past she was portrayed as somewhat of a loser with almost no remaining fans left from her idol years

and you knew i was going to bring up jaguar at some point HES ALL OVER THIS GAME AND IT LITERALLY MADE ME FEEL LIKE MY LIFE WAS WORTH POWERING THROUGH THESE LAST FEW YEARS AND ALSO LIKE IM A GENIUS FOR SPENDING SO LONG POSTING EVERY SINGLE DAY ‘NO REALLY, HE’S THE SECONDARY PROTAGONIST OF THE STORY, ITS ABOUT CHANNEL 5 AS A COMPANY AND THEIR IMPACT ON EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER ENCOUNTERED THEM AND THAT INCLUDES JAGUAR AS WELL AS ULALA HES INTEGRAL TO THE PLOT BC SHE WOULDNT BE ALIVE IF IT WEREN’T FOR HIM’ i feel like it’s really incredible how in this game he has genuinely nice energy and doesnt withhold praise from ulala just to be helpful in a mysterious way later and he like HAS FRIENDS now. like consider how he went from disgraced former ch5 employee who got mad every time he saw them, to kidnapped robot henchman kinda humbled by the fact that now the turns tabled and ulala had to rescue Him, and now 3 years later his bio is all about how he has a new tv show thats super popular and he has a new entourage of ladies who he considers his '’’’’’comrades’’’’’’’ within the station he founded??? AND AFTER 20 YEARS THEY WERE FINALLY ABLE TO GIVE HIS MODEL JUICY ASS CHEEKS??????????????? NO MORE PANCAKE BOOTY???? THE BOY HAD A GLOWUP AND NO I WONT STOP TALKING ABOUT IT

WHEN I SAY MEOW MATCH THE POSE MOTHERFUCKERS THIS BLONDE BASTARD GETS TO BE IN CHARGE OF THE HUNDRED STAGE BATTLE NOW TOO THIS IS THE YEAR OF THE SPACE PIRATES BAYBEE

#its almost 4 am. idk i will probably have more to say tomorrow. my head still hurts #the galaxy depends on my funky moves

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weareallfallengods · 5 years

Text

Flight from Grace Chapter 1 - A small stumble

The long-awaited complete 1st chapter of my WIP novel! I started this over 6 months ago and I’m finally getting into the swing of it.

Synopsis: What happens when a Fallen Angel with no memory of her own eternal past meets a woman who can see her for who she really is? A head on collision between the world as we know it and an eternal battle between the immortals tasked with safeguarding the mortal realm.

Grace can see things she shouldn’t be able to; after all, immortals have gone to a lot of trouble to make sure we can’t see them as they really are, so Something Has Changed, and she and her Fallen Angel will find out what’s going on, and why they seem to always be stuck in the middle of it all.

Themes: Angels and Demons, examination of mortality and our understanding of and belief in the supernatural as well as the eternal nature of existence. The battle between good and evil, and how no one is ever what they seem to be when we look past prejudices and social judgements. LGBTQ+, proper ethnic and cultural representation (read: most characters aren’t straight or white!).

Triggers: If you don’t like stories that put an often irreverant and sacriligeous spin on Christian mythos, this isn’t for you. LGBTQ+ romance, slow burn, non-explicit.

===================================================

“Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?”

Some neanderthal interrupted my deep contemplation of the double whiskey sour in front of me. Which was very rude. Whiskey sours demand your undivided attention and get cranky if ignored for too long. He should have known that, but either he didn’t know or didnt care, so either way- neanderthal.

He was leaning on the bar with the casual air of someone who has done this same dance too many times, the practiced ease of a used car salesman slapping the roof of a car. At least this one’s breath wasn’t too foul. Not that this hadn’t happened before. Oh no, I’d never been badly hit on in this bar like ten thousand times already. No that never happened. I was able to just sit in peace with my drink for the entire night. Yeah, right. Why do I keep coming back then, you ask? Well, Grace makes one hell of a whiskey sour for one thing.

“Hey, did you hear me?”

Ugh, this one wasn't going away with simply being ignored. Lovely.

“Excuse me?” I looked over languidly, with as much disdainful irritation on my face as I could possibly muster from the depths of my three-drinks-in soul.

“I said, ‘did it hurt when you fell from heaven?’”

His stupid shit-eating leer didnt help my mood any. I wasn’t ever in a good mood if I showed up here, and that’s probably one of the reasons I kept coming back- assholes like this gave me a vent for my foul mood.

“No actually. It’s less of a fall and more of a stumble really. More like getting tossed out of a club by a bouncer than falling down the stairs. Couple of bruises, a minor scrape, more damaged pride than anything really.”

I could see his monkey-brain churning slowly to try and digest my response that didn’t fit his pre-programmed scenario. I half expected to see steam coming out of an ear. God, some men are just so... ew.

“Um, what?”

Apparently I broke him. Well, that happens sometimes, when I give someone a response they weren’t expecting. Which happens more often than I’d be willing to admit to myself.

“I said that getting tossed out of heaven doesn’t hurt as much as you’d think it would. It’s not that far of a tumble really.”

He chuckled, “That’s real cute darlin’, never heard that one before! How’s about you and me find a table so I can hear more about it? Maybe have a look at those bruises, make sure you don't need more…attention.”

Sweet Mother of Mikhail, that was bad. Like even worse than his initial pickup line. I almost had to respect his commitment to such a shitty way of trying to pick me up. He had some balls, that’s for sure, either from drunken stupidity or pure ignorant self-confidence. They say that bravery and stupidity go hand in hand, and here was their shining example.

“Believe me sweetie, you don’t want my 'attention’,” I said softly, for the first time raising my eyes to lock with his glazed gaze. “My attention can become very… uncomfortable.”

He started to smirk for just a split second, but when my eyes met his, both the smirk and the color melted from his face. His mouth hung slack as he felt his soul staring down the opening fiery abyss that he found reflected in my eyes. I watched his mind recoil in horror at the emptiness it saw as it tried futilely to pull back from the horror of empty infinity it was confronted with. I saw in his eyes the sudden awareness of how small and insignificant his place in the universe was, and shrink in horror, trying to flee internally only to find that there’s no escape from your own mind and the finality of human existence.

I looked away just as his eyes started to roll back in his head. No need to cause a scene with him passing out. After all, my whiskey sour was crying from being ignored. As they do.

“I think you should probably go home now Blake,” I demurred softly. “You’ve probably had enough, and your wife would be happy if you tucked the children into bed for once. Oh, and coffee won’t remove the smell of alcohol, so just have a peppermint. Your kids like that smell, reminds them of Christmas.”

He kind of half nodded, like a sleepwalker. I sighed. Hopefully he doesn't have an existential crisis later and just shrugs it off as being too drunk. Hell, maybe he’ll cut back on the sauce. I hate it when I hear about someone offing themselves after meeting me, especially if they have kids. Well, hopefully he just takes the daily inebriation down a notch or two. I can hope, can’t I?

As he shuffled off, lager forgotten at the bar, I hoped he’d be alright. Genuinely. Sure, I enjoyed taking my frustration at being stuck here out on them, but I didn't actually wish them lasting harm. A lesson or two in politeness and decency, a minor scuffle to break up the monotony, but no real damage. That’s what I told myself anyway. Made it easier to pretend to sleep at night. Hope he makes it home ok. Hope his kids get a happy memory of daddy saying goodnight for once. Hope he says he loves his wife, and apologizes. Hah. Yeah. Like that’ll happen. But, what can I say, I’m a foolish optimist at heart. And nothing hurts more than having your hopes crushed. I should know.

Damn. My drink was crying, a small puddle of condensation soaking into the bar napkin it rested on. Again. Another sigh. And one more for the first sigh. I hate sighing. It’s the most comprehensive sound of the acceptance of defeat ever created. The acknowledgment of futility. And I hate that. I thought I’d be fighting to the bitter end, but apparently Destiny had other plans. Fucking Destiny. She’s the whole reason I’m even drinking in the first place.

“Get you a fresh one?”

A sweet silver-bell tinkle of a voice broke my unintentional reverie. Grace was back, checking on me. She knew my peccadilloes by now. She knew how much I hated when my drink got watered down by the ice melting if it got ignored for too long. I nodded.

She smiled pleasantly and slid over a new drink, already prepped.

“I figured, after that creep pounced on ya.”

I frowned slightly. There was something different about this one. Hunh. Oh, the ice. There wasn’t any. There were two black cubes sitting in it instead. OK, why are there rocks in my drink?

I looked up at Grace, still slightly puzzled.

“Oh those? Yeah I noticed you didn’t like it when your drink gets watered down, so I bought some Irish whiskey stones! That way your drink stays cold, but doesn't dilute. Got 'em special, just for you.”

I cocked one eyebrow slightly, “Just for me?”

“Yep! Let’s face it, you’re the only one who comes in here with that kind of class, so I put 'em in the freezer back here with a big 'ol note so Jimmy doesn’t think I’m crazy for keeping rocks in the fridge,” her airy chuckle sprinkled across my ears.

I stared. I was in shock. OK, well maybe I’m being dramatic, but I was still surprised. People don’t normally do nice things for me. Or to me for that matter. If I’m honest, they mostly run away.

“Why…” I couldn't even formulate a coherent sentence. Jesus, get yourself together!

“I dunno, I just figured you don't seem like you have anyone looking out for you, and you seem to attract a lot of the wrong sort of attention, so I thought you could use a nice surprise, y’know, cheer you up a little.”

I nodded, more in surprise than agreement. I literally couldn’t recall the last time someone voluntarily tried to do something nice, just for me, no hope or expectation of reward or compensation. I was probably silent a little too long for a comfortable conversation. Hey, I was revelling in the new experience, cut me some slack.

“Well. Wow, um, thanks.” Yeah real smooth. Sweet Mikhail’s Grave I have no idea how to actually talk to this woman.

In retrospect, that should have been my first clue, but hey, I was a little distracted.

“I appreciate it, that’s really sweet of you.” Ok that’s slightly less glaringly awkward.

“Not trying to be rude at all, but I gotta ask- what’s your deal? Like you come in here all the time, lookin’ like a million bucks, never talk to anyone, get in fights every so often, get harassed like every single time but you keep coming back? I mean, I’m not trying to pry if you don’t wanna talk, but you know, like I’m totally trying to pry!”

Now it was my turn to stare slack-jawed. Oh Fates, how your twists are cruel. I closed my mouth a lot faster than the sot from earlier though, so my pride wasn't too damaged.

“It’s kind of a long and uninteresting story really. Mostly, you make the best whiskey sour. And the people here are…interesting.”

“Honey, there’s no way a story coming from someone who looks like that,” she waved generally up and down at me, “could possibly be boring. Plus, it’s slow, as always, so humor me.”

Sometimes, I can be kind of thick. Slow. Moronic. A nincompoop. A maroon. Several minutes of conversation with this girl and I only just now noticed- she hadn’t looked away from my eyes. She was meeting my gaze with no problem. She wasn't sweating and shaking and passing out. She was looking me right in the eye, just like a normal person, no fear showing on her face. No reaction at all. Just a normal girl, having a normal conversation, with what she thought was another normal person.

“Are…you OK?” Grace looked a bit concerned.

Aw shit, I was staring, and not even trying to hide it. Well now I felt dumb. And, why did I feel dumb? What was up with this girl that she made me feel so self conscious, so uncomfortable, like one of those fainting goats that just freezes and falls over when you blink too hard at them. Speaking of blinking really hard.

“Um, oh, yeah, sorry, I’m fine. Really. Sorry, just not many people actually want to have a real conversation with me.”

Grace leaned over the bar a little, propping up on her elbows, lowering her tone a bit. “Well, I don’t know why, 'cuz you sure seem hella interesting to me.”

“Hunh. Well, I don't know about that. But I would like to ask you something first, if you don't mind?”

“Fire away honey!”

“This might sound odd, but, why aren’t you looking away? What do you see when you look at me?”

She pulled a tiny bit closer. “Nothin’ more than just about the sparkly-est green eyes I ever seen; a dash of blue, like the Bahamas. Somethin’ else I can't quite put my finger on…” as she trailed off, I felt her finger lightly brush the knuckles on my hand that was still holding my drink. “I kinda wanna find out though.”

OK, now that was smooth. Holy fuck, that was really, really smooth. Like two hundred year old Laphroaig single malt filtered through the blessed socks of His Holiness the Pope smooth. Hold up, now she was trying to pick me up? What the hell universe? What’s going on here?

I swallowed, unable to look away now myself. “That’s all? Nothing that scares you?”

“Not yet, sugar.”

Alright, that’s different.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I grabbed her hand. Maybe a little too hard from the slight wince I saw.

“OK we need to leave. NOW.”

“Hold up honey, we were just talkin’, we ain’t there yet!” She tried pulling back a little.

“No, no, you don’t understand! I’m sorry, but you shouldn’t be able to see that. I can’t explain right now, but we have to figure out how you can see me that way.”

“But my shift’s not over for a couple more hours!”

“OK OK, I’m not being clear, sorry, this is the first time this has happened, so I’m a little shaken.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” She actually blushed a little. “I just saw how you shot down every guy who came up to you, and I thought….well, you know, maybe…omg I’m sorry I didn't mean to upset you! I come on strong sometimes, when I’m interested in something, and when you first walked in, I saw those heels and that dress, and I just was like ‘oh wow’ and kinda couldn’t breathe for a minute, you know I don't see many girls come here lookin’ like that and oh God now I’m babbling and someone please shut me up I'm so sorry…”

I put a finger over her lips, gently.

“I’m not upset. Far from it actually. But we have something a tiny bit more urgent than that to address. I’m not who you think I am. Or what, I should say. But more to the point, there’s something bigger going on here. And I need to find out what. Fast.”

“Wait, so you’re not mad I hit on you?”

“We don’t have time for that now!” She recoiled slightly at my vehemence. “No, I’m not upset, but that’s not the point! You shouldnt be able to see my eyes. My real ones anyway. I was too slow on picking that up right away, and I’m sorry, but we have to get out of here, now, because something is different, and in my world, that’s never a good thing.”

“Your world?”

I was getting frustrated. “Yes, but I’ll explain later! I need you to come with me now. We need answers, and we need them fast. So, do you trust me?”

She hesitated. “Yeeeeees? I think? Like I wanna, but I don’t really know you?”

“Good enough for now! Let’s go!”

To her credit, she just dropped her bar towel, grabbed her phone from under the bar and came out from behind it, grabbing my hand as she yelled to the back, “Hey Jimmy! I gotta leave! Personal thing- cover for me?”

Just then, there was a bit of a commotion at the door. Grace turned to look, but I didn’t need to. I already knew what was there. I just clutched her hand even tighter and yanked her towards the back; there was an emergency exit near the bathrooms from what I remembered of that one really bad 'birthday’. Yeah, that was a bad one. But we ran.

Good thing I’m not super tall, wouldn’t want to draw attention, I thought to myself sarcastically. Goddamn heels. Why do I even wear these?

Sounds of glass breaking and shouting reached us as we plowed through the emergency exit into the alleyway. Don’t worry about that now, just keep moving.

“This way!” I pulled her to the front of the alley.

“Holy shit, that’s your bike?” She sounded genuinely impressed. Finally, I wasn’t the only one who had that reaction at seeing it.

“Oh yeah, she’s a sweet ride, and perfect for this situation. Or any situation, really. Jump on.”

I probably should have shut the door behind us, but hey, it was a day for me missing obvious things. The noise coming from the bar was getting louder.

“I’ve never done this before!” Grace exclaimed excitedly in my ear as I kicked my beast to life.

We roared out into the street, my white and gold Valentino’s left sparkling on the pavement where I kicked them. Fuckin’ useless, beautiful shoes. Sigh, they weren’t cheap. Oh well, they’re just shoes.

“Where are we going!?” Grace yelled over the rush of wind whipping our hair like tiny flails of purgatory.

“Not sure yet! But we’re going to find out!”

“I don't even know your name!”

My heart sank a bit.

“Don't worry! Neither do I! ”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The bar exploded behind us as it faded into the night thanks to the fabulous Ducati between our legs. Oh and that wasn’t metaphorical- I glanced in the mirror at the sound; it literally exploded. Ball of fire and all. I guess that’s to be expected, what with all the alcohol and what I’d suspected for a while was going on in the basement. Way too many flammable liquids in one place. But that didn't really matter now. All that mattered was getting away from what caused the explosion as fast as we possibly could.

“What the hell was that!?” Grace yelled in my ear. Again. I’m going to have to get some headsets or something if this is going to be a habit. Well, the riding together part, not the fleeing for our lives part anyway.

“I’ll explain as soon as we can talk, promise! For now, just hold on! And don't look behind us!"

“As if I’m gonna let go now!”

That glance in the rear view told me as much as I needed to know, which was more than I wanted, but enough to have an idea of what we were running from. I mean, I figured that’s what it was, but I’m still tired of being right, even after all this time. You’d think I'd be used to it by now.

That pale blue and red glow was enough. Hell, the noise it made had been enough for me to know what it was. And trust me, I was not overreacting by running first. I’d seen that color a few too many times in my life to think that there was anything else to be done except run. Once was more than enough for anyone. Who am I kidding? Most people don't get a chance to see it more than once. Guess I’m just lucky. Or the opposite. Pretty sure I’m the latter actually.

Grace was shivering on my back as we sped away. She’d gone quiet, her mood matching the night around us, the neon signs and street lights reflecting their multi-colored halos in the rain-slicked streets. Fog was starting to rise from the pavement, adding to the soft glow the streets were taking on. Thin, wispy strands curling around street lights and bus stops, blasted into nothing as the bike tore through them, the roar of the exhaust shattering the relative quiet of the late night calm.

Well, it should have been quiet anyway. The explosion of the bar kind of changed that. Then came the sound.

It mixed with the growing whine from the crotch rocket under us, which seemed like a fitting counterpoint to the cacophony of something that sounded like if you’d thrown a hundred maltese dogs into a tornado and then blasted it over a crappy school intercom. I hated that sound. Almost as much as the dogs it reminded me of.

“Aw shit, it saw us.” Time to see if the tires on this baby gripped as well as the kid at the shop claimed they did.

Well, at least there wasn’t too much traffic. Still, even though there weren’t many trucks and accountant-driven sedans to weave in and out of, there were still enough of them that it took a hell of a lot more concentration than my alcohol soaked brain was ready to deal with. Definitely hadn’t planned on being the next Lewis Hamilton after a night at the bar, that’s for damn sure.

“What the fuu….?” Grace’s expletive trailed off in the whipping wind as I kept us weaving in and out and through, gunning the shit out of my bike whenever there was an opening big enough to do so without turning us into extremely messy, if fashionable, pancakes.

“Try not to worry about it! OK I mean, yeah, worry, but not like understand worry!”

“How the hell do you not worry about...that!?”

I took a good look back for the first time as we whipped around a corner, using the rain-slick street to slide without losing any speed. My heart sank. At least it wasn’t in my throat choking me anymore. Sarcastic positivity in the face of death? Yeah that’s my jam. Even if I do keep it to myself. Most of the time anyway.

The damn thing was getting closer. Faster than I thought it could. Damn, tonight just wasn’t my night for noticing things, now was it?

That second of splitting my attention nearly sent us flying and a tired busboy standing at the corner bus stop to the hospital, but we only just missed him, with barely enough room to avoid slamming into the back end of something that should have been parked at a kids soccer game, not getting on the expressway at this time of night.

Slipping into an alley entrance, Grace’s nails dug through the flimsy material I was wrapped in, making me yelp in surprise.

“Sorry,” she muttered.

I was about to tell her it was cool, considering the circumstances, and given that I wasn’t sure if it made me jump because it hurt, or her hands were cold, or because of where they’d slid down to, when we blew out the other side of the alley, causing a literal postcard explosion from the stand I clipped as we bounced out on to the main road again, just in time to swerve hard to avoid becoming Penske poster-girls for a single truck.

"Sweet Jesus fuck! What the hell IS that?"

Goddammit, didn’t I tell her not to look back? I wasn’t going to tell her how the beast chasing us had seen us dart down the alley, and since it couldn't fit through the traffic as neatly as we could, silently charge down the side of the building, slamming into the same shop front that had so recently lost it's postcard stand as it tried to take the same corner, still snuffling the ground and air to track us. I managed to gain us a few precious seconds of lead as it disentangled itself from the fruit cart, re-launching itself down the alley, bicycle wheel still caught in it's whiskers that streamed and whipped behind it.

“It’s running fucking sideways on the buildings!”

Aw shit. She can see it. I was afraid of that.

And that was all the distraction it needed too.

With a last spring off the corner of an empty flower shop, the beast took a massive swipe at us. Come on, come on, make the corner! It's thick talons cut a blazing arc through the rain as it howled. One of its claws caught the rear end of the bike, knocking it heavily to the side, and nearly throwing Grace off. Good thing she’s got a death grip on my hips right now. Oh boy don’t think of that, too distracting right now, that’s how you get killed!

Grace screamed again as the bike was whipped around violently from behind, and Grace she was confronted with a vision not even her wildest nightmares could have come up with. At least, I hope she doesn’t have nightmares like this anymore.

The beast’s jaws opened wide to crush us like a nutcracker on adderall, glowing drool whipping around in thick, viscous strands from teeth bigger than my hand, while she seemed mesmerized by the halo of tentacle-like whiskers that seemed to float in slow motion, despite how fast everything was happening. The beast looked at me, it’s eyes burning red meeting mine as I tried to maintain my grip on the bike that was rapidly being torn from my hands. I was holding on to that tank with my knees in a way that would have made the Russian Women’s weightlifting team proud. I could hear the scream that tried to jump from Grace’s mouth only for it to turn into a slow rush of soundless breath as she slammed into my back from the force of me yanking that bike around as hard as I could possibly manage.

Ground. Street. Tires on. People off. Stay upright. Don’t let go. Run.

The bellow from the beast behind us meant nothing to me now. I was numb, my world narrowing to the few feet in front of me, and Grace behind me. Swerve. Dodge. Car. Bike. Red light. Faster. Green. Faster. Faster. Get away. Car. Car. Bus. Turn.

Suddenly the cars all dropped away. The turnpike. Oh thank God. I opened up the throttle all the way and finally realized I should probably start breathing again.

Grace was trying to yell something, probably wanting an explanation. I mean I can’t blame her, but I said I’d explain! Did it look like now was suddenly the time for it? Then again, maybe it was important.

I turned my head a bit to try to talk to her, but I paused with my mouth still open. The beast was gone.Like gone gone. Vanished. Vamoosed. Not even like really far away gone, just not there any more. I squinted. Yeah, that was a little too easy.

“Did we get away?”

I was actually about to answer her, when a glowing blue shape cashed into us from the side, just as I was starting to finally let my legs relax a little. Everything seemed to slow down. I know, everyone says that, but it’s true! I don’t know, maybe it was the whiskey sours, but as soon as we got hit, the world turned in to super slow-mo as the bike was ripped from my hands, and I felt Grace be pulled away from me.

This thing tossed us like a couple of rag dolls thrown from a child’s stroller being kicked by a football player. Or at least it started to go that way. Somehow, as the bike ground across the pavement, with just my left hand managing to keep any kind of hold on the bike, I managed to swing myself around it like a gymnast on a gold-medal winning vault-horse routine, snagged Grace’s bar apron with my free hand, and with sheer desperate strength, yank all three back together, right as the beast’s slavering maw snapped shut on empty air where Grace’s head had been just milliseconds before. Through pure accident of positioning, my toes raked across it’s eyes as my leg swung around and I slammed them back down on the pegs, jammed the throttle all the way open, even as Grace somehow managed to complete the circle I’d pulled her in, ending by straddling my hips, arms and hair akimbo while we slid sideways, fortunately tires first.

Grace’s eyes were wider than a kid who opened their eyes to Disneyland on a Christmas morning as she slammed into me, and I used our momentum to get the bike fully upright, only barely escaping a second snap from the beast as it lunged again, trying to tear us apart.

That near miss, and the sigh of relief I almost let happen, didn’t get a chance to last long.

Her damn hair was in my face, which at any other time, wouldn’t have been a problem, really, but just at that second, was incredibly, blindingly, distracting. And it might have saved our lives.

Something hot burned into my shoulder and face as the sound of crashing metal and people yelling slammed into me. Hm, spicy.

“Shit! Watch out! Sorry!” Grace called to the one lady who wasn’t running for the hills as we smashed through her food cart. Can you get third-degree barbecue sauce burns? Food trays, sauces and meat all went flying as we dervished our way right through the middle of her street-side restaurant, sweet and spicy and sticky all at once, all over the ground, and all over me and Grace as well. I couldn’t think of anything more than just keeping everything together and moving forward. Run. The only thought occupying my mind. Just run.

“Hey.”

The softness of her voice is what brought me back to the girl squished up against me and out of the rabbit-instinct flight mode I was in.

I don’t know why but for some reason, my brain decided that was the perfect moment to notice that I’d never realized how captivating the color brown could be. Grace’s eyes were less than inches from mine, and I froze for a second. Again.

“I think it’s stopped.”

I glanced back. The beast had been right on top of us when we hit the food cart, but now it was standing there in the middle of the sidewalk, sniffing around for all the world like the biggest, dumbest, glowiest dog you’ve ever seen. OK, a dog that could tear a truck apart like a box of tissues, but still.

“What the hell is it doing?”

“Maybe it’s hungry.”

I didn’t realize I’d said that out loud. I’d never seen one of these things just...stop like that. It didn't make sense.

No time to think of that right now, just enough time to dart down another alley, blocking the beast from view as it sat down to lap up all the spilled barbecued beef at its feet.

As we weaved and darted through alleys and parking lots, squeezing through sidewalks and darting across small streets, I started to recognize where we were now, and had the barest inkling of a plan besides ‘get away without dying.’

“Whatever that thing is, I think it likes barbecue.”

Grace’s whispered comment snapped me back to what was right in front of me, the whole reason I was in this kind of mess again in the first place. .

“Hunh?”

“I think it stopped to eat at the barbecue stand we knocked over. It’s not chasing us anymore- look.”

I tried to check the mirror again, only to find they’d both been ripped off by now, so switched to glancing over my shoulder quickly, and saw no ominous glow behind us, other than the few street lamps on the small boulevard we were going down.

“Barbecue?” I was still pretty confused. Probably drunk too. But definitely confused.

Grace’s laugh was carried away on the night like fireworks swept away in a light breeze. “Well, I dunno what the hell that thing was, but I haven’t met anyone yet who wouldn’t drop everything for good barbecue, honey.”

Raising an eyebrow, I laughed, “Well it’s good to see I’m not the only one here who can make wildly ridiculous comments with horrible timing!”

“Funny the things you think about when you should be focusing on other stuff that’s a little more important, hunh? Like right now, all I can think about is a nice rack of ribs.” Grace grew quieter as her head sank back down on to my shoulder. “Where we headed, sugar?”

“Somewhere close. Safe. I think.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The old loft was just as dank and dirty and run down on the inside as it looked on the outside. Probably worse. No diamonds in the rough here, that’s for sure. Broken glass scattered on the beat up industrial floor scattered the glow of the streetlight through the mist that filled the space. Definitely not up to my usual standard, but hey, we couldn’t really complain too much.

Throwing an old, discarded, and probably moldy, but definitely more disgusting than I wanted to ever touch again, mover’s blanket over the plate window helped to at least hide a little bit of how gross this place looked. Plus, privacy. A quick scan around and I found a pile of old tarps and a couple skeezy mattresses that I definitely wasn’t going to think about where they’d been or who’d done what on them for how long. It’d have to do. A dirty mattress was a small price to pay for still being alive.

"It's not the Four Seasons, but it'll do for now. It's kinda cold- I don't think the building even has heat, but I think we can keep warm enough to make it through the rest of tonight at least."

Grace flopped down heavily on the mattress, exhausted, shoulders slumped, staring vacantly at the floor.

"That was...was that...I don't even know where to start. My brain's been turned to oatmeal. What…? What happened? What in the name of all fucks just happened?"

“Yeah, there’s kind of a lot to unpack here isn’t there?” I just crumpled down into one of the old blankets like a sock puppet being dropped into its nest. “I’m not even sure where to begin.”

“Ya think? Like one minute, I’m trying to mind my business, working my shift at the bar, wondering whether I’m going to have to give another statement to the cops after another bar fight breaks out, and the next I’m getting tossed around like a hot sweet-potato, almost get eaten by a glowing, walking catfish that got beaten a little too hard with the ugly stick, get covered in barbecue sauce, do-si-doed by a goddamn motorcycle ninja, only to wind up in some place that looks like it was lifted straight out of Zillow for Crackheads!”

A snort of wry, tired amusement escaped me. “Yeah, I guess it really does look that bad here. I mean, I’m surprised this place is even still standing after all this time, but you’re right, it definitely looks a bit sketchy.”

“Way to avoid the point, hun.”

“Yeah, I know.” Not sure why, but she kept making me nervous, and the way she was sort of frowning while pinning me down with those sparkling coffee eyes definitely wasn’t helping. Probably just wasn’t used to people making eye contact. Which was the whole reason I was in this mess to begin with. Another sigh.

“Alright. I’ll explain as much as I can. You deserve that much.”

Grace flopped down on the edge of the mattress, chin propped in her hands for all the world like a kid during goddamn story time. How the hell was I supposed to concentrate when she’s doing things like that? Look away! Only way to save myself for now.

“OK, here goes. So the thing you saw? Well, it’s a…” I scowled. “It’s a...sunuvabitch, I don’t really know what it’s called. Alright, further back then. The basics. Got it.

“Supernatural things exist. Like you believe that humans are the highest species on this planet and that you’re all alone in the universe, and no one can quite agree on whether there was anything before or after this life or what happens when you die, right? Well, a lot of what most people believe to be myth or religious superstition is actually, um, real.”

So she hasn’t tried to run away just yet. That’s a good sign, right?

“From what I’ve been able to piece together, from the bits I can remember, what you would call ‘heaven’ and ‘hell’ are real places- they’re just not really visible to mortals. Most of the time. ‘Angels’ and ‘demons’ are real things too, but they’re a little bit different than most people tend to think of them from what I’ve seen.

“I don’t know how many there are, but there’s angels and demons walking around, living just like you and me, every day. The thing is, that mortals like you can’t see them. And that’s where the problem is.”

“Like me?” It wasn’t really a question. Her tone made that clear enough.

“Oh boy. OK, here’s the big one- because with the heaven and hell stuff, most people can be like ‘meh, it’s all superstitious nonsense anyway’ and brush it off. This? Not so much.

“I’m not human. Or mortal. I can see angels and demons walking around plain as day, just like the ones I’ve met can see me. Mortals...see something else.”

“Like the creep at the bar earlier? Did he see...something else? In you?”

“Yeah. On the outside, at first glance, I look like any other girl. But look closer? Well, you saw what happened. People just aren’t ready to see my real nature.”

“But that didn’t happen to me.” Now Grace was looking a little bit confused- but the kind of confused you get when a teacher is explaining something that you know should make sense, even if you were having a hard time getting it.

“No, it didn’t. And it took me way too long to pick up on that. I should’ve realized right away. If I had, maybe I could have gotten you out of there faster and that whole ‘sweet potato’ thing wouldn’t have happened.”

“So what should I be seeing? When I look into your eyes I mean?”

“Probably something along the lines of falling through an eternally expanding universe, a sense that you’re tinier than a piece of sand in the scope of the cosmos, that sort of thing. At least, that’s what I’ve heard from a couple of the ones who were able to be slightly coherent afterwards. There haven’t been many of those over the years.”

“Wow. I definitely don’t see that.”

“And that’s the problem, really. I’ve never heard of something like that happening before. I don’t know what it means, or why you can, or anything! All I know is that something is very, very different, and very, very wrong, otherwise that thing wouldn’t have been after us. And right now, I don’t know if what’s wrong is you, or me, or both of us. But we need to find out if we’re going to not be looking over our shoulders for...what did you call it again?”

Grace laughed. A genuine laugh, not weighed down by worry or terror. “A glowing, walking catfish?”

“Ha ha, yeah, that got beaten too many times with the ugly stick!”

Grace sat up suddenly, nodding sharply to herself. “Alright, well, you’re either batshit crazy, or I owe my gran an apology.” Grace was still half chuckling, but looking very intent.

“Your gran?”

“Yeah, she was super religious, always prayin’, talkin’ and singin’ about god. She must’ve gone to church three times a week! Boy, would she have loved to hear all this.”

“I’ll bet!”

“So, I just wanna make sure I’ve got all the stuff you said- angels are real, and something’s wrong with the fact that I can see your real eyes, and not like, the fires of the Big Bang or something, but you don’t know why that’s a problem or what caused it.. Right?”

“I’d say that about covers it for now, yeah.”

“Alright, I can live with that much for now. I’m clean tuckered out, and you look like you’re about to just fall over any second now. Whaddya say we call it a night?”

“Yeah.” I really could barely keep my eyes open at this point. I guess pretending my motorbike was a juggling pin kind of took it out of me.

Grace popped up, suddenly all business.

“So doesn’t look like this place has a big ol’ tub to dump you in, so we’ll have to settle for a couple of wet wipes. Here, help me get these blankets on to the mattress here. They’re gross, but it’s better than freezing to death.”

“You’re the boss!” Those wet wipes were a pocket-sized blessing, wrapped in foil paper. I’m more of a Chanel and gunpowder type, not so big on the earthy, barbecue scents.

I was starting to stumble a bit as we plopped the discarded blankets down as well as we could in the relative darkness of the loft.

“Probably better to stay dressed with how dirty these blankets are.” Grace frowned as she watched me struggle to pick up one of the heavier blankets a couple of times.

That didn’t even register until much later.

“OK, you, lay down. No more for you tonight. Sleep.”

I couldn’t even argue with her. I just curled up in a ball on the bed, barely aware of Grace pulling a couple of the blankets over me, but I thought I could just make out her arm resting on mine as we both drifted off into the heavy, dreamless sleep that comes when you’ve been pushed to your limits. At least, I kind of hope it was.

=============================================

Story tag list

@random-with-garlic @a-dinosaurs-left-phgkneecap @flower-in-the-ashes @nixabee @luvnaught @pens-swords-stuff @alice-and-cheshire-cat @humans-are-seriously-weird @flying-f1shsticks @Neil-gaiman @glumshoe @lykanyouko @kaylewiswrites @just-a-bit-paranoid @thatsmybluefondue @Alice-and-Cheshire-cat @violet-galaxies @biggest-gaidiest-patronuses @midnight-spectrum-again @slytherinlovespuff @friendofcybermen @hemi528i @mirbisduschoen @khelladon @walkin-in-the-cosmos

As always, if you want to be added to or removed from the tag list, just shoot me a message and your wish is my command.

#flight from grace #supernatural #angels #demons #angelic fiction #wip #story #writeblr

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idkstark · 5 years

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ENDGAME SPOILERS

Please don’t read the following if you haven’t seen the movie, there will be major spoilers!

I just saw the movie and I just wanted to recap/jot down things that happened/stood out to me during the movie! Similar to what I did last year after seeing IW.

Right kiddos, let’s get into it

I honestly thought Tony was fuckign dead on that ship, the fact that Nebula was shaking him n shit?? I was scared outta my mind.

They really just ... killed Thanos within the first ten minutes lmao dfkhdsvgsjdhg. I was not expecting it at all. They cut his left arm off and then decapitated him, it was absolutely wild.

At least Thor aimed for the head

OH and Tony yelling at Steve when he’s back on earth? yo i was looking around at my friends like uh is he ok ?? he needs some milk

As soon as Thanos was like aha yea i destroyed the stones owo I KNEW they were gonna go back in time

Five year time jump? wack. BUT AHHHHHHHH

TONY HAS A DAUGHTER. i cried. Also his new house by the lake? its just to cute im happy for him

Scott’s daughter, Cassie, is a full-grown teen!!!

Thor plays fortnite with korg and miek

he also uhhhhh gained a bit of weight. he isnt doing too well in new Asgard :(

Professor Hulk! smthn that i wasn’t expecting so early on

AHH Carol’s new haircut? that’s some good shit

The time travel was pretty neat

Cap fighting himself, tricking hydra, using Loki’s staff on himself. wild y’all.

tony and steve going back to the 70′s honestly made me cry. peggy was right there in-front of steve, and tony was able to have a conversation with his dad. it was actually wholesome too??

anyway, they get three stones from 2012

nebula and rhodey go to get the power stone. 2014 peter quill is dancing along like he does in the movie, gets knocked out. its quite amusing.

rhodey jumps back but nebula cant bc uh oh!!!! thanos (from a different timeline or smthn) finds out what she’s doing!!

she gets captured

Evil nebula pretends to be future nebula and jumps back to the HQ using her gear

Thor goes back to asgard, talks to his mum, anddd he gets Mjolnir back! so he has both the hammer and Stormbreaker

the soul stone. omg. Nat and Clint were the only two there and they had a small fight over who should be sacrificed. it was like some lion king shit; natasha hanging onto clint whilst dangling from a cliff and letting go. i cried ?? i felt so bad for clint.

He goes back, avengers are like uh oh fuck. but they have all of the stones!

STARK GAUNTLET BABYYYY

banner uses it and snaps back those who were dusted. his arm gets a bit fucked up, but he tolerates it bc he’s in the form of the hulk.

it works! but then evil nebula uses the quantum realm thingy to bring Thanos’ ship to the HQ

immediately sends a bunch of missiles down, i really thought someone would die but thank god everyone was ok

this sets up the final battle ground!

Thor, Cap, and Tony all fight Thanos. They’re getting pretty fucked up. thor drops both of his weapons

dramatic music plays and Mjolnir hits Thanos and flies back around only to land in sTEVE’S HAND!!!!!!

HE’S WORTHY SAKDHSDKFS. The entire theatre cheered

just ???? seeing him wield Mjolnir and use the shield???? holy fuck

Thanos beats them up a bit more and then he calls on his army and like. they all form behind him and it looks like everyone is gonna get fucked up to be quite honest

BUT THEN you hear sam’s voice and u see dr stranges portal!!!

a bunch of portals form and everyone walks out; t’challa, shuri, okoye, their army. the guardians. PETER!! bucky, literally everyone. they all stand behind steve and he says ‘avengers....assemble’ and everyone starts running towards one-another.........poetic cinema

AHH and pepper is there!! she’s rescue!!!

the stark gauntlet is handed to t’challa (by clint) then handed to peter who hands it to carol.

also um. peter saw tony and he started rambling abt wht happened and tony just pulls him in for a hug. it made me cry again

all of the female heroes help carol bring the gauntlet towards Scott, who has his van, so tht they can destroy it or smthn. it had something to do with time travel and the quantum realm skfbsdg

uh oh they don’t get it there

Thanos sees them doing this and makes his army send more missiles down (which does deplete his own army by a large amount)

He’s right beside the gauntlet and so is tony

tony looks at strange who holds up one finger. the one in 14 million

thanos puts the gauntlet on and almost snaps his fingers but he’s stopped by carol.

he removes the power stone and uses it to blast her away, then he puts it back in.

tony grabs his arm before he can snap, thanos shoves him away

i fully thought that was it for the avengers BUT MY BOY TONY!!!!!

Thanos goes to snap but nothing happens. turns out tony somehow transferred them to his own, built-in/nano-tech gauntlet!!!!!!! everyone cheered again y’all.....

he says “I am Iron Man” before snapping his fingers

lmfao thanos and his army turn to dust. by bye purple man.

by this point i was like yall where the fuck is tony he better be ok

yea about that.

I started to sob.

Tony is leaning against some debris and he’s struggling to breathe, right arm all messed up. Everyone rushes over.

Peter starts saying smthn like “come on mr stark, we won. tony please” idk what he said exactly because i was sobbing.

Pepper comes up and says “we’ll be okay. you can rest now” and i, a fool, continued to sob.

he’s staring into the distance and his arc reactor dies.

i was SOBBIng

full on

i didn’t stop crying until the credits rolled

anyway, tony’s funeral.

his ‘proof that tony stark has a heart’ reactor is sitting on a bed of flowers that’s floating along the lake in front of his home

everyone is there. the guardians, black panther fam, avengers (minus nat), fury, etc etc.

even Harley from iron man three !! he’s so grown up now D:

Thor joins the guardians and leaves valkyrie to rule new asgard!!

Steve has to go back and return the stones to their rightful timelines but haha he stays there.

he grows old with peggy and they dance in their home. they were married yall!!!

Bucky, sam, and Bruce turn around and see him sitting on a bench a little while away.

same goes up and talks to him

i thought he was pre-serum steve but YIKES he’s old instead

he passes the captain america mantle to sam, i was so happy

there’s a lot i didnt mention but this is long enough as it is sdfgsdjhfg.

this movie just made me cry so much. it was the perfect end to this ten-year journey. i mean i would obviously love if they didnt kill off tony. he’s my favourite character so god damn was it hard to see him go. but it made it that much more emotional. marvel will always remain my favourite franchise of all time, this movie was absolutely everything i wanted yet so much more.

please dont be afraid to dm me about ur thoughts on the movie! cry abt everything with me!! ask questions!!

#avengers endgame #Avengers #avengers spoilers #endgame #endgame spoilers

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parkaiur · 6 years

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Final Thoughts on YGTB/The Lineup

... well let’s just jump right into it shall we?

ok.. this show was a waste of time and a waste of all my fucking emotions. the only reason i put up with YG’s bullshit is because I thought team a+jihoon would debut, but yg is too fucking stupid to do that so : )

anyways, let’s get into the reason why this show is trash :)

first of all, the emotional trauma all the boys have been put through?

there are 28 trainees, they all thought that the debut group was going to be 5 members... imagine how stressful and scary that must be for all of them. once they split from their respective teams, they were all heartbroken they were being split from their friends? seriously... what was yg doing breaking such strong teamwork in ALL the teams...

the reason why ikon was, and is, so popular is because of their strong teamwork. people are connected to the bond between the members and it shows when people have been through a lot together

moving on, there are literally 13&14 year old kids in this show... like c’mon, what i was worrying about at 14 was if my friends had the same lunch as me.. :/ and on top of the trainee life, they’re forced to be split from all their friends... these poor dudes

AND THE EDITING, OH GOSH THE EDITING

for the ENTIRE show, YG depicted team a as the “bad guys”. first from when yoonbin and yeongue lost the 2:2 battle. so many people got upset, saying that it was a popularity battle when in reality, they had the smallest gap out of all the teams... hah .

they also edited out byounggon’s rap in the Im Not Sorry performance which caused ppl to think that only Seunghun controlled that stage, when in reality, both of them chewed up the stage.

im not even going to mention how initially Yoonbin x Keita’s rap battle was edited out before they were hella popular cuz yg is a fucking snake and there are SO many examples as to which this happened so i’ll only name a few

next, THE FINAL GOING CRAZY PERFORMANCE. the focus was SO obviously on Jaehyuk when Hyunsuk started to rap ... like cameraman... the rapper was Hyunsuk, not Jaehyuk... pls ... also, when jihoon was singing, the cameraman panned to junghwan... i think im starting to predict something : )

anyways, Doyoung and Jihoon were both edited out of their FINAL PERFORMANCE ON THIS SHOW??? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. Doyoung choreographed that dance YET his solo in Earned It was edited out?? and Jihoon was just edited out completely??? i thought we would FINALLY get to hear both of their stunning vocals and ... nothing .... it’s obvious only yg’s favorites gets aired

now, mentioning all of team a+jihoon being mistreated, i kept up with this fucking show because i thought yg was just trying to rile up fans and would debut them later.... I WAS WRONG.

all silver boys can either write songs, produce music, and choreograph... yet he chose some members that cant... im not saying that Haruto and Junghwan are untalented, when I think they’re very good at what they do, but theyre just so young and have so much more room to grow. YG chose these members because of their potential .. but he refused to debut boys who already have honed their potential ... wtf

YG obviously only used Silver Boys as a way to gain popularity for this show, and it’s not sitting well with me. tons of fans have been waiting s o l o n g for these boys to debut, especially last year in the Stray Kids survival show and Mixnine. they had fans who were dedicated and saw their talent, and were waiting for them (i am one myself). and when YGTB was released, it seemed like the perfect show because it had all my favorite boys ! (ok most im looking at you jeonwoong, raesung, and noa)

but then yg turns around and pulls this ... this on us...

seriously come at me for saying this cuz im going to delete my account soon :/

ALSO ive seen so many posts telling Silver Boys stans to like calm down ?? and to not hate on the members... let me get this straight, IM NOT HATING ON THEM. Simply saying someone is too young and inexperienced to debut is NOT hate.

Also, yg expected this happen. he knew junghwan (and even haruto) would get hate and backlash and he debuted them anyways... seriously if that isnt the definition of cruel. he just wants to stir up the public and honestly idk if it’s going to work this time since so many people are upset. yg SAW the online voting which, if you didn’t know, had 300K votes for the Silver Boys, yet he still didn’t choose to debut them... wow

if yg’s target was younger fans... he got them. but im just saying this now, all yg groups have older, more mature fans, and what i’ve seen from this fandom is not that. yg just lost a veteran yg stan but he doesnt care does he now

also , dont console SB fans when you’re just trying to defend your faves. and when i say console, dont say “omg just support the group! you have to stan forever or else you’re fake>:(” like... NO. you actually dont have to stan a group you dont like ??? i have freedom ?? LMAO

plus raesung coming to the final show made all of us VERY emotional and we wanted a happy ending for our boys, and we didnt get one. which obviously crushed us, so just,,, back off for a moment and dont try to make us feel worse about what’s happening right now

anyways, yg basically debuted a group with visuals (as of right now) and it’s making me sick. i didnt think he was taking the visuals things seriously but seeing this lineup? he obviously was. and no, im not saying that visuals dont have talent just to be clear. im just saying that there are people who are “not visuals” who are just as talented.

my predictions for the next three members? It’s Yoonbin or Hyunsuk, Mashiho, and Jaehyuk. why? they’re all yg’s favorites and are visuals.

im not in the mood for discussion just come in my inbox if you’re going to talk about Silver Boys or about how nice your day was cuz i need to either distract myself or mourn ;-;

also the immense guilt that silver boys stans feel right now is uncontrollable... we tried so hard for so long yet our efforts have fallen through... and not only do we have a bond towards our boys, but we have a bond with each other. Us Silver Boy stans have also been through a lot together and when you solo stans were running around, we were getting shit done. we fight for the SB boys and we fight for each other, dont think we are going to stop now <3

#yg treasure box #ygtb #unpopular opinions #also can u just imagine the songs they'll have to sing?#theyll have to be pg because of junghwan and haruto #and im not even talking abt songs abt sex #but like more emotional and deep songs #im srsly... what the fuck #i rly wanted silver boys and then team j to debut for the japan market...#also my thoughts are quite messy as ive been crying all day so cut me some slack

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thedistantstorm · 6 years

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Phoenix Protocol 02

A Zavala x Female Guardian work.

Summary: When the Traveler’s Light was returned to the Guardians after the defeat of the Cabal, it did not manifest itself the same in everyone. Miyu, an Awoken Warlock, finds herself struggling with her abilities, her Light feeling different and not her own. With her Vanguard preoccupied with grief and all eyes turned to the Reef, she finds herself turning to an unlikely source in an attempt to rediscover her connection to the Light and define what it means for her as a Dawnblade.

[Previously]

Ikora always wants more.

By research, Ikora actually means to discuss Miyu stopping hers. Focusing on more important matters. The Reef. Uldren. Miyu wants nothing to do with any of it, and that is why she had willingly offered her services detaining escapees from the Prison of Elders despite not actually wanting to do that at all.

It gives Miyu time to actually complete some more secretive research on the side: why her Light is messed up. Why it feels like when she received hers back, after the war, it felt like it belonged to someone else, the person she used to be but wasn’t any more, coiling uneasily beneath her skin. She’s gone to Io. The Shard. Both under the guise of hunting escapees, but also to seek answers.

Neither place does and very day, the solar sword is more difficult to grasp, wings of flame beyond her reach. Telling her Vanguard that didn’t work. Ikora didn’t understand. The Void has always been at her fingertips, for as long as she’s been connected to the Traveler. With that in mind, Miyu attempts to adapt her argument, listens to Ikora insisting that she push herself and hopes that eventually either her own efforts or Ikora’s reasoning pays off.

Ikora still demands an answer, though. Wants Miyu to give her something. So, Miyu presents her personal thoughts. Based on her research, she finds that her connection to the Light is strongest while meditating or calling upon her abilities in the midst of a healing rift. Ikora is not impressed. Miyu isn’t expecting her to be. She tells Ikora the truth - that she does not believe offensive maneuvers are her true calling, not anymore. It’s something she’s believed for a while now. She can hear Ghost cheering her on in her mind for being honest - for expressing her opinion. That was rare. Miyu hated doing so, especially when she knew it was going to be an unpopular one.

Ikora, in response, cites battles, strikes, accolades. Ikora always measures a Warlock’s worth in accolades.

Miyu measures a person - Guardian, Human, Exo, Awoken, whatever - in terms of character. Heart. Sometimes she thinks that’s why she just doesn’t fit in with her more intellectual colleagues, aside from not being sneaky and clever like the Hidden or having half the honors or titles that Ikora’s top-tier Warlocks have. Put a sword in her hands and Miyu can cut down almost anyone or anything. But have her infiltrate a group and act a certain way, play a role of some sort? She’ll fail right away.

She is not an actress. She’s a Guardian. And to her knowledge, the definition of a Guardian is someone who protects. There has to be some merit in that, she’s told Ghost, and he - her best friend and most honest critic - agrees.

Ikora - Miyu thinks - must not think much of her. Still, the Void user pulls her back from her thoughts with praise. “Grey,” She says, “You are so much more than you give yourself credit for. You need to push yourself harder. Do not give up. I know you are better than this.”

It’s times like this that she wonders. Does Ikora know what her name is, really? Does Ikora even care? Miyu is beginning to think she’s just a faceless person, a puzzle that is challenging and therefore worth the more esteemed woman’s time. Ikora gave her hardly any face-time before the war, before she had these issues.

Regardless, the younger Warlock attempts to retain her composure. “Thank you. However, I would like to pursue my research on a more defensive Solar ability,” Miyu says, barely a whisper of defiance. “I believe it is possible.”

Ikora shakes her head. “Leave shielding for the Titans. A Warlock’s rift is not meant to protect. It is meant to heal or empower, and only briefly. Attempting to augment it is a waste of Light better spent on dispatching our enemies.”

Miyu sighs, but nods. “What would you have me do, then?”

The Warlock Vanguard crosses her arms, turns her back to Miyu and looks out at the City. “Take the most difficult Strikes and Patrols I can give you. Challenge yourself and you will find yourself calling upon your abilities more. If that does not help you to realign yourself with your Light,” She trails off, eyes narrowing on a fixed point beyond the horizon, “I will explore other paths. Your research is unnecessary at this time. If you require a project, I will send you to collect information from the Reef.”

The younger Warlock bows. “I understand,” Miyu says, schooling her features into something blank, and trying to sound collected and grateful, not detached and indifferent. “Thank you.” This won’t help. She’s already tried this, Miyu thinks, but tries not to let it bleed into her demeanor.

“You’re welcome, Grey. You may go.”

Miyu turns her back to Ikora Rey, but waits until she is nearly to Banshee’s stall in the main portion of the Tower to let the frustration show on her face, a very quiet growl escaping her. Ghost appears at her side immediately. “I can’t believe she wouldn’t listen to you,” He says, sounding even more irritated than Miyu is. “I’m sorry,” He apologizes to her. “But I think you should keep working on it.”

“So do I.”

Ghost bobs, spinning around her in a wide circle of disbelief. “You do?”

“Yes.” Silver eyes cant over toward her Ghost’s single teal one. “I’ll do what she asks, and continue my research on my own. What else can I do?”

He sighs. “I know. I just wish it had gone differently.” He taps her cheek. “If you could have convinced her to watch you summon your-”

“We asked that the last two times and she refused. It’s okay, Ghost. I’m used to it being just you and me.” She reaches up to cup his small being with her hands, and holds him close. “Sometimes, I think it’s better that way.”

Ghost nuzzles against her abdomen in a return of their improvised hug, and wonders not for the first time if she considers leaving. He knows she doesn’t feel like she belongs here, that she’s trying so hard to fit into the roles dictated by social norms. Most of her fellow Guardians hurt her with their lack of understanding, their taunts. Most of them do not know how it feels to have their Light feel foreign to them. Still, she remains as gentle as she can, does her best to be kind to everyone she meets. It’s no wonder they don’t live within the confines of the Tower. The City folk are far kinder to his wayward Guardian than her own brothers and sisters. It’s a shame.

Three days later, news hits the Tower. Cayde-6's killer has been eliminated. Almost everyone is celebrating. Miyu uses the general population's distraction to her advantage, slipping out to the training grounds recently restored near the base of the wall. There should be free space for her to experiment unseen, a rarity in the middle of the day.

She discards her gauntlets and lets the heavy, flame-retardant sleeves of her robes hang down over her palms. Pulls her sword from its sheath at her side. Ghost flutters around her, cones spinning silently in anticipation a safe distance away. She drops to her starting position, kicks off.

What she does not have in stealth or strength, she makes up with in skill. Some of it, Ghost believes, may have been written upon her from her first life, muscle memory and reflexes allowing her to pick up swordplay far more easily than ever anticipated. But not all of it. She worked hard to hone her skills, consulted archives and videos, took every ounce of criticism to heart.

He enjoys watching her dance throughout the training arena with her blade slashing out, parrying imaginary blows, each move fluid yet moving with unbelievable discipline and precision. However, he knows it will come soon. Can feel the tingle of Light, the increasing heat. She’s going to try without the rift. She always does, first. When her mind is clear, when she’s reached that place of blank-white concentration.

The Warlock sheaths her physical blade in a motion like lightning, before reaching out for the heat in the air, calling upon the Light in her soul to manifest the sword that answers the call of her heart. It always looks so effortless from afar.

It isn’t, though. He watches her throw the first one, scorching the dirt. Watches her call upon the second. Watches the flames spiral up her arm, paying no heed to her robes. Watches her grit her teeth and give form to the energy in her hand. This one doesn’t go as far, doesn’t track like the first.

The third fizzles into ash, blackens her fingertips. She screams, drops to her knees, slams her fists into the dirt. He doesn’t approach. He knows she wants to feel this, to commit it to memory - as if she hasn’t already, he thinks, but allows it to continue - and use it to fuel her. It’s how Ikora believes she will improve. Miyu doesn’t believe in it, but she tries anyway. He knows she’d try anything, to feel like herself again.

This is torture, but it’s therapeutic. She needs to let it out, to blaze, like the fiery powers locked inside her, refusing to come out the way they’re supposed to. The way they always had, before the Cabal had ripped them away by force.

Any changes in her personality, since the war, have been subtle. He notices the way her swordhand twitches after she lets the blades burn through her nerves. Can tell that where she might say ten words once, she now says six or five. Notices that where she’d try to be social once in a while, it takes a great deal of encouragement to convince her to approach a friendly face.

Ghost’s cones push out and then back in, spiraling around him in surprise as someone appears on his radar. Someone approaching, quickly. At a run. Miyu is pushing herself up, the rush of a healing rift spiraling out from beneath her. She doesn’t notice.

Another attempt is made to call upon the sword. She growls and braces her sword hand - gripping her left wrist with her right hand. Flames spit and spiral up both arms this time, fighting for purchase against the healing properties of the rift.

“Mi- Miyu?”

The small AI turns at the sound of the familiar voice. Oh, no.

#commander zavala #oc: miyu #zavala x female guardian #ikora rey #destiny #destiny fanfiction #destiny stories #destiny fan fiction #slowburn #angst #character development #destiny community #post-forsaken #collection: phoenix protocol #zavala x oc

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catbowserauthor · 6 years

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TMNT Mikey 2017 Spring ABC Drabble

I originally wrote this I think last year and it was a challenge for me to keep it short! A ABC SPRING CHALLENGE contest—no more than 500 words and my prompt was mop. Naturally, I had to use Mikey

——

April’s exasperated look still was not enough to hide her amusement. Shaking her head, she commented, pushing some of her hair behind her ear “Mikey, what are you doing?”

Said teenaged turtle turned, grinning. He had apparently grown bored with moving items and putting away boxes (no big surprise, given his attention span) but still, to see rags, broken mop heads and various pieces of cloth tied to his feet was random even for him. Though, April was beginning to wonder if having expectations or limits was ever a good idea with Mikey. Faced with her intrigued look, the teen grinned “Hey, well, you said that you hadda get the whole room cleaned up so I figure I could mop the floor!” He lifted his right foot, taking a step back and drenching it in a paint tray that he’d filled with a bubbly mixture of soap. Twirling around, looking more like a ballerina than a ninja, he slid across the floor to stop in front of her, “No rule that says it hasta be boring! The Mikester does not mesh well with boring!”

April rolled her eyes but remarked “I take it that this is the reason that you have the more…liberal chores at home? Unless Raph is lying to me.”

Twirling around, keeping a firm grip on her wrist, Mikey sent them across the room, smearing a nice bubbly stream as he did so, setting the human woman down as he stopped “The Battle Nexus Champion is triumphant because he cannot be contained by society, by rules. He makes his own and emerges victorious!” He flicked his finger at the nearby stereo, letting a barrage of rock tunes and lyrics spoken so fast that April did not dare try to translate them, fire free into the room. “Besides which, you gotta have some fun in your life, Girlie!” He reminded her.

“Oh, and you’re saying I don’t?” She kept a playful warning tone to her voice but given how she and the turtles had developed into a family of sorts over the years, Mikey saw right through it, the same as if it had been Leo or Donnie teasing him. The fact that she didn’t pull away when he let her loose into a twirl was another clue.

“Not as much as you could have!” He insisted. “Think about it! What’s better? You can gripe and grumble about these stupid chores,” he dropped his voice “And Raph does plenty of that,” he grinned and released her in a simple twist across the ground, “Or you can actually make a game out of it! You hafta do it anyway so why not enjoy it?”

Catching herself on the nearby counter, the human woman gathered her balance before sizing up her green skinned friend. He had a lot of really good points and she had to admit, seeing him cleaning and dancing all at once made her remember her childhood fondly. Grabbing an intact mop, she smirked, “Shall we tango?”

#tmnt spring drabble challenge #2003 tmnt series #mikey #spring cleaning #Mikey can make anything fun #April is a big sis #Mikey is so lovable!#I’ll do chores with Mikey

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hereliesbitches--me · 6 years

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The Writeup on Rosie's parents:

I dont think anyone actually knows it, and it's probably the faintest quality that could he given away in Rosie's hair, but she is in fact a Hispanic gal. Rosie was born in Miami, Florida in March of 1983, to a Puerto Rican mother and her father can be assumed to be of Italian descent given his last name, though he is not very culturally inclined at all.

Carmellia Hidalgo was a young woman at 22 when she had Rosie, and Roland Valentine had been in his later years at 28 years old. They were a couple definitely formed out of puppy love a few years prior: Roland admired the life and free spirit in Carmellia, and Carmellia was very easily swayed by Roland's gentleman charm and mannerism. Given that this is the 80s, a time where being Hispanic wasnt exactly welcomed (even if Puerto Rico is considered a US territory), it was a breath of fresh air to Carmellia to be respected, and she fell hard. Unfortunately, shortly after Rosie was born, with rising stress trying to manage a baby and their own life goals, tension grows when love fades as those endearing qualities of free spirit become an unwillinhness to compromise and make change. Roland was more of a reserved, traditional man. He wanted to help Carmella in her situation, encouraged her to go to college and he helped pay for it as she worked towards becoming a nurse while he himself was working towards becoming a politician, but he was not blind to her impulsive and irrational behavior. Roland wanted to try to correct his wife, and in retaliation Carmellia was notorious to defensive and aggressive behavior. This would be the source of many of their fights, with Carmellia being the violent one throwing objects and jabbing at Roland for trying to deem her as something unwell, or something lesser than him (as she interpreted it).

In reflection, Rosie inherited her Bipolar disorder from her mother. And just like her mother, they are undiagnosed.

The difference lies in the time period as well. The condition was not well understood in the 70s-80s time period. It was briefly understood but just like all mental illnesses its stigmatized. Carmellia knew something was off, but she was in denial. There was too much to be done to stop and try to get an illness treated, and being a minority already made it hard enough. When Rosie was 5 years old, frightened by another one of their violent fights , she tried to run away to get away from the sounds, and wound up getting hit by a car that had killed her (in which, at this point, is where the Moon spirit steps into the body and takes on her life ) but she miraculously revives with some major head trauma and memory problems.

This fight was the breaker, when Roland realize it was a danger to their daughter. He left within a few months of this incident, for the sake of stopping the fighting, but despite his insistence Carmellia refused to let him take Rosie with him. While he had a better standing and mental state, he rather not make little Rosita suffer by confusing her with their fight. He yields to Carmellia, and he remained in Florida for a few months, until eventually leaving to DC to pursue his career as a politician when Carmellia continued to refuse to let him see Rosie. He sent money down to support them, but he would not see his daughter for 5 years. Rosie could hardly remember him since he left. Roland never stopped loving Carmellia, even if she couldn't stand him , but he couldnt handle her anymore.

Life with Carmellia was difficult for both Rosie and her mother. She was a single mother, becoming a nurse in this big city, and trying to manage bouts of mania and depression. an Impulsive move 2 years (1990) later winds Carmellia up in a situation with an unfaithful, abusive lover, who will eventually be the father to Rosie’s younger brother, Alexander. He leaves them when Alexander was about a few months old, with Carmellia forcing him out of their lives after he threatened them for the last time. what was already a tight situation only worsened with a baby involved. Rosie hardly ever really saw her mother, but she was taught early how to take care of herself with what they had. She never questioned anything that happened, why she was always the one taking the brunt of everything -- Her mother's impulsive verbal lashing and tendency to break things in anger, Rosie being the oldest was held at a higher standard of expectations. It was just how things were, while her mother doted on the baby Alexander with the time she had. Rosie had even learned how take care of her brother so her mom could rest in those very rare occasions she wasnt working.

While Carmellia was not an intentionally bad mother, but she was mentally ill and would not admit it. She loved her children, but was possessive with her fear of being alone, to the point of suffocation. Too prideful to admit she needed help, her children often suffered with her, and this was Rosie's life until August of 1992.

August 26, 1992, Hurricane Andrew makes landfall in Florida, and in a matter of hours Miami is flattened and ripped apart by a category 5 hurricane. In its wake, millions were left homeless, which would have included Carmellia and her two kids. Living in a shelter, Carmellia was left struggling with aiding in medical care because she was a nurse, and keeping track of her little ones. Elsewhere, an opportunity presented itself, and Roland took it as a chance to get his daughter back. Leaving from DC to Florida to help with the relief efforts, Roland tracked down Carmellia and the family at long last in a crowded shelter. Much to Carmellia's fury and horror, Roland did not shy away from telling her what he came for. The man who was a better suited caretaker, with more to offer for the safety of Rosie and her future, and he was there to take Rosie from her. To say there was no battle was an understatement. Carmellia could scream, she could curse him, she could get angry, but in the end she knew she had no standing even if they had gone from a legal standpoint. She had no home, no safe environment but the ruins of a shattered life, and no one would ever take her side against a wealthy man. She tried to scold Rosie into staying with her, when Roland made the option to let Rosie decide, but in the end that fearful little girl saw the opportunity to escape, and she turned her back on her mother for the first time. The first time she ever ran away, and in retrospect it feels like Rosie never stopped running since that time. Shes learned to always run.

Now, life with Roland wasnt as rough as with her mother.. but it wasnt the perfect childhood either. Roland had wealth and prestige being a skillful politician and a man of the people, but that didnt mean he was prepared to really be a dedicated parent.

Roland had lived a generally independent life. He didnt bother with remarrying, he didnt have much family he was connected to, he had workers who cared for the house, and he was dedicated to the work for the common people and working on issues which affected the lower class, minorities especially. He even delved into dealing with the criminal underworld, though that was only known to him. Having Rosie with him was more for the sake of having the peace of mind that she was with him, and he was providing, even I'd he wasnt always actively there. He had control of the situation, and that was enough. He kept her occupied by buying her whatever she wanted to entertain her, to make her feel like he did care and he loved her in order to make up for his lack of presence. Nonetheless, even having his daughter there, he continued to work in the same fashion he did before. Rosie was left in the trusted care of the head house keeper, Alfred, who himself was an age old friend/Mentor for Roland. Rosie saw him like a grandfather, and one of the most constant people in her life. The most she saw of her father were in the morning they shared over breakfast, listening to old vinyl records and dancing around the kitchen. She saw him sometimes in the evening briefly before bed, and that was it for the most part. She had simple expectations: to do well in school, to behave herself, to act with dignity of someone with high status because she was representing him as his daughter. She would have to learn to act proper as a lady from upper class, learn the ways of diplomacy and the two faced ways of politics. She couldn't truly be herself if she wanted to get somewhere with people, that was one of the first life lessons she picked up from her father. It would be one of the stepping stones which shapes her personality today, and even a basis of the creation of alternate personalities. A traditional man as her father was, he thought Rosie like his delicate daughter, and believed as a lady she shouldn't work in anything too laborious. Just like himself, he wanted her to take up in politics, or become a lawyer if she wanted to deal with law. His views often annoyed her, but she was never one to argue, and simply did what was asked of her, up until she grew older. She wanted to make a difference, she wanted to show that she wasnt delicate, and with some help of Alfred she was able to convince her father to let her do more-- which would set the stage of being put in the Calvary, with the help of Clifton, a friend of her father's. This would be the next stepping stone of her life after her father was found dead, ruled as a suicide and unsolved because they could not find any evidence that would say otherwise. Within rosie resided bitter feelings when she knew foul play was involved, but like always, no one ever listened. Once more, shes shuffled forward onto the next person.

The life Rosie shared with both her parents was always somewhat negligent, though it was not out of pure Malice. They gave her what she needed, but they both had a hand in controlling the way she went. Her father more so than her mother, given she lived with him from age 9 to 15. Both believing they knew what was best for her, her father consistently offering her to the world for all sorts of opportunities, but it was not always what Rosie herself wanted. Nothing was ever constant, and she was constantly handed off to the next person in line to deal with her. The relationship between Carmellia and Roland was never a healthy one, and that alone would be one of the major flaws Rosie had to discover on her own. How to love, who to love, how to be a parent. Love would hurt, it would break you down in the worst possible ways, it could make you Elated, or it wouldnt always last. Her parents taught simply how to survive enough in the world, her father taught her how to be superficial, but sincere relationships? How to be a good parent?

That was all trial and error she had to learn one step at a time. And it burned her, more often than not. One thing she learned what she had to do everything for her children that her parents didnt do for her, but much to her own horror, the older she gets the more she realizes it just played as a cycle. She could be like the both of them. As much as she tries to fight it, the older she was, the more she understands why things happen the way they do.

The condition of her mother is one of the biggest reasons Rosie prefers a partner that would need her. It attracts her to the troubled and the lonely, and urges her to make things better. To help them in a way no one helped her or her mother

Because deep down, a part of her feels things could have been different if someone could have just stayed. Her resilience to a lost cause may be the thing that gets Rosie killed one day, or even draws her into unhealthy relationships no matter how it hurts her.

#:about the muse:#working out a timeline at long last #someone let me know if something needs to be tagged #:headcanons:#can you see the reference in rosie from her mom #casually using real life events in my bby #crazy childhood stories #long post

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dearestsouleater · 6 years

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Entry #326 January 22, 2019 7:45 pm

Dearest SoulEater,

“Love does not change you, Loneliness does..“

That was my FB post this morning trying to reflect upon everything that transpired since December. Then this afternoon, after I have submitted my BIR Sworn Oath for Tax, I chanced upon Lara’s Coffee shop and decided to take my ultra late lunch there. I was eating this and maybe I might be feeling good now, so maybe it is high time to tell the story that has made me from an 2018 optimist to a 2019 pessimist.Yeah I know, Soul. It has been 6 long months since my last post, with lots and lots of things happened not being said. I have the memories in the form of videos at Youtube. It is there.

It all started December, where I was already forecasting the things I need to do for my transition to the same job but with better benefits. Like it always was, I had to endure the expectations and works of a teamleader, deciding on things and being responsible for them. I know for a fact that Ill be needing a lot of money to secure the new requirements set by the Civil Service for me to be accepted as a Casual Nurse under the Department of Health. I still have money, but the pressure was there, a very big cold and dark pressure. First is that we havent received our salary for November, and that it was December, meaning I had to prepare my gifts to my subordinates and of course, Lianne. With the budgeting I did, I can secure the costly requirements, but it will take toll to my plans with Lianne. I had to think long term and made sure that I secure that requirements for me to be financially secured until 2022. Me and Lianne were having some talks, and while she was planning, I was actually hesitant. Her plans involve expenses that are way beyond my capacity, she may have money for it, but I gotta consider where I stand after spending those. But in the end I agreed with what was initially planned and went on with my “Bahala na”.

Came December 21, it was our Christmas Party for the Department of Health. It was already stressful for me as being a Teamleader, I am responsible to a lot of things. And I am already in turmoil because of our ugly presentation since all municipalities are required to present a dance or whatever. Ours was not a presentation, more like an intermission number. That morning while I was having my preparations for that event, Lianne texted me and that conversation turned sour. She suddenly dropped the “As I thought” bomb on me. At the time I already saw what was coming. She was expecting that I have prepared plans for her on the coming holidays particularly Christmas. At the back of my mind I was thinking, didnt we had this conversation before, she already laid out the plans of what were bound to do, go to this fancy hotel and celebrate, after that go back to her apartment and be with each other, that was it. She was expecting more from me. Of all the times it would happen, why on that moment. We were still talking as I went to the venue of that Christmas Party masked as an Exit Conference. I was there the whole morning trying to juggle managing Lianne’s predicament with the problems I am facing on that event. Until she sent me a message that made me snap.. “Kahit hindi ka na bumalik”. I knew on that moment that that was it. That moment, I knew I cant keep going on. I understood that we cant make it work out anymore. I thought she was my partner for my battles, it turns out she was another battle that I had to win..and I felt so betrayed. I was just sitting there at my table, null and void with nothing but my fake smiles and just saying Im ok while people ask me why I was silent. I had to endure it for hours. And it felt like it was that day all over again, coz she gave back my money too. I dont even know what to feel and act them out. I just went home blank and staring after that successful Exit Conference.. Success for the event, disaster for me. I went home and acted like everything was ok and it was not. My parents even noticing it but I pretended that Im fine. They didnt know we already broke up on that day. I cancelled my reservation for the bus going to manila and had the money shifted to my mom’s reservation. Ate Cely asked me why, and I told them I was recalled for an emergency work on the 27th and 28th which was true. But I lied about the reason why Im not going to Manila anymore, it was because I had no more reason to go there. It was once again a long night..but it was never new to me. I have already faced the same event when she said she did not love me anymore, but only this time I had more resilience.

December 27, my parents had to leave for Manila because my father had to prepare going back to Saudi. I just didnt have the motivation to go anywhere, so I told them that I was recalled for work since it was an urgent matter and that it was a critical time for my appointment as a casual employee. And so they left me.. That time, a typhoon was coming in and that it was automatic for us nurses from DOH to activate Code White meaning we have to respond and report evacuees to central command. December 28 we already lost power supply and access to clean water, water was coming in too fast inside our house because they seep inside the cement, and I had to clean those areas the whole 24 hours. The next day, I stared at how black it was at my home..cold, dark and alone. I only had spare food to eat without the assurance that the faucet water was clean. That moment, I knew loneliness was killing me slowly. I have never been so alone at that point, that it made me think of a lot of things. But an unexpected event happened. My relatives who came from Naga cannot pass thru at the market going to their house as it was already in high flood, so they called me 11 pm that night to ask if they can stay at my house for the meantime. I was thinking that maybe it was You Soul that was giving me some light. So they came and stayed with me until the morning. They made me breakfast and then had to leave immediately to check the status of their own home. Maybe I got saved. Saved from feeling hopeless and alone. I went over to do my work to report any casualties of that calamity in our Municipality and had to live alone again.

December 31, current came back at around the afternoon and the relatives that I took in during the storm gave me Pizza from Shakeys because they knew I would be celebrating the New Year alone. There I was, only with myself and my prepared food before 12 am of January 1st 2019. I only had the pizza my relatives gave me, left over wine at the fridge and pancit canton while watching my friends from Twitch celebrate the New Year. I only had Se7en of HelixxVR with me during that time. I had no fireworks, I had no devices for making loud sounds, only me and my beating heart.

The whole of January was spent with me being all alone, doing everything by myself for myself, trying to survive and live. Our contracts are under abeyance due to some problems with the budget allocated with the Department of Health so what I have been doing in the past 3 weeks is just be at Twitch, stream, watch. It was during that time that I had a record high of 332 viewers, was able to pull off a 24 hr stream and got qualified for Twitch Partner. I slept 5 am almost everyday and woke up around 1 pm, missing my breakfast and lunch. I had nothing to do but stream and play. My November salary came, but it was all for paying the remaining bills and my December Salary is still pending.

Being alone for a long time turned me into something else. Maybe it was karma, or consequences of bad choices, but who is there to blame? Not Lianne, not everyone, not even You, Soul..only me. I decided not to talk to anyone about it. I just felt not doing it. I wanted this darkness for myself so I told no one about what I had gone through. I dont hate Lianne for what happened to us. I just came to realize that we have different end games. She wanted a grandeur life while I wanted a peaceful and simple one. She loved to travel while I only want to travel to just one place and that is Japan. We were different and it only needed sometime for me to accept that we are not compatible and that we are only bound to more stress and fights if we continued. I never talked about what happened to us at Social Media because it wont make me feel any better. I did not block her from my social medias as well because there is no sense doing it. I still see her posts, and maybe it was my way of self punishment.

2018 was a treasure chest of memories for me of her. It just so happened that December of that year became the Pandora’s box. She is currently happy now and I do pray to You Soul that you give her healing, and that she can move on peacefully, find someone that she deserves, not a loser like me who has nothing to offer as of the moment. I still consider her a friend and acquaintance because Im not holding anything against her and I completely understand if she does not feel the same way I do.

I ate the last bits of my juicy saucy burger and finished it with my fries. I left with a face hoping that someday, I may never wish to ask from You that I rest..for good.

Thank You Soul, for everything..the blessings and lessons. You can still try and guide me while I try to live this tiring life. Give me something to motivate me to go on, yeah?

Love lots,

Jim..

P.S.

Funny that Jin didnt come out this time. Maybe he was confident Im getting through with this. I hope his confidence was right.

#love #break up #typhoon #life #loneliness #cold

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jpow-101 · 3 years

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Self Identity

Monet The Scholar

It's always been hard for me to decide who I am and what my purpose is, so growing up I have just been deciding who I am not. Being the younger sibling is like being the play again button on a video game. When your parents hit “play again” they have minimum expectations. This game's success must surpass their previous even if this is a completely different game. My sister, we'll call her Monet, because middle names are always more embarrassing. Monet was a dancer so naturally at the age of three, I was enrolled into the same dance school. I just remember always being there, no real reason as to how I got there or why I was there, I just was. But dance was fun, my mother said I had better rhythm than Monet (not that it was a competition or anything) and even after my sister had quit, I continued with dance. Me and Monet had always been natural swimmers. We were eventually were enrolled onto a swim team. The coaches seemed to really like me, they said I was fast for someone so small, and I always won doing the backstroke, Monet didnt win much come to think of it, (not that it was a competition or anything). After Monet quit I continued for another season. Monet began doing gymnastics at the ymca and I soon followed. My mother said I was clumsy and I'd benefit from learning how to fall more safely. Monet was decent at gymnastics, backflips and all the works. I on the other hand could never make it over the vault, I always toppled off the beam, and every flip was always a wipe out. Why was I doing gymnastics again? How did me and Monet always end up in the same sport? I then decided to go against the grain and try track. Absolutely awful, I never came in last, but I was dying every race, were middle schoolers supposed to be this fast. Safe to say I only did that for one season. I then tried cheerleading which was very fun. I tended to excel in more activities than Monet (minus gymnastics), not that it was a competition. But Monet always flourished in the one thing I never could, school. I was a slow reader, always misspelling words, and switching around my B’s and D’s. Elementary school was filled with low percentages that I did not understand, so they were accompanied by frowny faces written in bold red marker. My sister never had this lovely experience and she'd always come home with the Great Job! Stickers on her tests. She never had the pleasure of sitting at the kitchen table with our mother for hours doing simple homework assignments and studying non stop. But only to be met with more frowny faced papers. Monet has never failed to rub her grades in my face to this day. My parents have also never discouraged her because they feel I do not try hard enough with school. She always just had the A’s and I only A’s and B’s earned by many late nights of grit and struggle by the time I got to highschool. To this day I have never seen Monet cry over a school assignment or throw her books with frustration. I school hopped for quite a bit throughout my life and was met with the same outcomes till about middle school where I improved after I began to work without the help of my parents. When my sister went to highschool she attempted to get into a prestigious vocational highschool, but didn't pass the entrance exam. Monet didn't pass something! Well I can't say I was in tears like she was. When I went to highschool my mother forced me to enroll into the same one Monet had. But I actually got in. Monet swore that it must be an easier test now. Monet attended two schools before starting college and I, a total of five. When she applied to college she applied to Rutgers and a few others. She was declined from many, Rutgers being one of them. Shed cried then too and ended up going to a school most have never heard of in PA. When I went to college I applied to 13 schools, and got accepted into most of them, one of them being Rutgers. That totals two wins in my book (not that it's a competition). After succeeding at two things my sister could not, I began to slowly feel less inferior, maybe I wasnt as dumb as I originally preceived. It was never my goal to beat Monet, I could really care less what she's doing, but she always made it a point to tell me I was not as good as her. But I try to remember the things that have set us apart, like my Highschool and going to Rutgers. As me and Monet have aged we have begun to look so similar that are parents confuse us and people always ask if we are twins when we're out in public. It gets harder and harder to remember we do not have to be the same person. Last night at the dinner table Monet decided to ask (unprompted I may add), why don't you have a job, you don't do anything all day. I responded with I have school all day, everyday, you didn't have a job when you were in college. Yeah but I had a 3.7 gpa, and you're practically failing, Monet shrugged and continued chewing her mashed potatoes. This battle is truly never ending.

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cloudbattrolls · 7 years

Text

Bleeding Heart

Matcha Ginia [GG] tries to befriend Etuuya Vannyn [TT] , who is naturally skeptical of her intentions after they upset her by revealing their true nature and confused by her gift of blood after their second office interaction.

a.k.a two vampires dance in circles around each other, trying to figure the other out.

-- twitteringTailor [TT] has begun trolling gladsomeGluttony [GG] --

TT: You know, it's not that I'm not grateful, given that Rivali is intent on giving me army rations.

TT: Which I can deal with, but I admit it's nice not to.

TT: But I was surprised when the first one wasn't poisoned, or something.

TT: Not that it would have killed me.

TT: Made me drowsy, perhaps.

TT: Ought I to worry about where you get this from?

TT: Or what else you usually use it for?

TT: I'm not one to judge dark arcane rituals.

TT: Only a tiny bit.

TT: Don't get me wrong, I doubt you're going to tell me, but I'm back in the cavern now and I finished the sweeping.

TT: so I've nothing to do but be a chatterbug.

GG: :V

TT: [snail emoji]

GG:

GG: [cat emoji]

GG: i use iiiiit to patch up a friend, usually?

GG: and i get it from another friend who works in a hostilespital, althooouuugh they havent had access lately

GG: what was the other question? :V

TT: your friend must get injured an awful lot, but that's more of an answer than I expected so I'll take it.

GG: ;V

TT: I have plenty of other questions, but you didn't really answer those, either.

TT: If you want a bit of information free of charge, though; Rivali let up on keeping me away.

TT: Not that they're not going to lock me up, for the peace of mind of everyone else in the office, but you can visit if you like.

TT: Unless this is where you shout 'psyche' and give up the joke.

TT: I'd applaud your dedication.

GG:

GG: that would be a huge waste of energy :V

TT: Something suggests you have a much-longer running motive though.

TT: It would be, wouldn't it.

TT: Unless there was a dare or something involved, but I'm not allowed to question that now, so none of my business if there is.

GG: whaaaaat

GG: youre allowed to question what you want!!

GG: even if im kiiiiind of hurt that you think im doing this to make fun of you

GG: i just dont think its fair to starve you, thats all!!

GG: i know how much it sucks to go hungry >:V

TT: If you get upset again, Rivali blames me.

GG:

TT: Greenlet, why do you think they changed their mind?

GG: out of the kindness of their pusher? :V

TT: I don't think they have any kindness in their pusher, dear. I think they replaced it all with ramrods.

TT: No, it's because they're afraid, but they rather value your agency more than mine.

GG: dont be mean, theyre a really nice person!

GG:

GG: to

GG: other people, i guess

GG: sorry :'O

TT: It's really not your fault.

TT: I don't say any of this to guilt you.

TT: I may not have a bull's notion why you're doing this, but I don't bear you any ill will.

GG: im

GG: glad you dont? :V

TT: You sound a tad unsure about that.

GG: i waaasnt really expecting you to in the first place, and now im thinking about it :V

TT: Do you want me to be mad? It would explain what happened last time.

GG: what!! >:V

TT: Self-flagellation is a silly route to go down, greenlet.

TT: There are better ways to work out your guilt.

TT: Though you really shouldn't have any.

GG:

TT: If I were someone else, perhaps.

TT: Then it might be appropriate.

TT: But not with me.

GG: woooow, youre kind of a hypocrite

GG: :P

TT: How so?

TT: I'm quite lost here.

GG: noooooo, but im backtracking

GG: how would wanting you to be mad explain last time?

GG: what did i do D:

TT: I could just be throwing darts in the dark, but it felt rather like you wandered over because you felt bad and you wanted me to feel bad, and then you did something that clearly required some effort and desire to go behind Rivali's back. Not that Rivali is difficult to fool, but it still involves some risk for no clear reward on your part, and I certainly didn't do anything that merited such a generous act. Therefore I can only assume it was motivated by guilt or you're just daft, but I highly doubt the second one. Daft people generally don't plan so well.

TT: I didn't react angrily, so your guilt wasn't assuaged, and you had to find some other method.

GG: whaaaaaat

GG: of course i felt guilty over getting you in trouble, but i didnt want you to feel bad! >:V

GG: it just felt unfair, and i had to do something about it!!

GG:

GG: and im glaaaad i dont come off as daft to you? im pretty sure youre the only person who thinks that :'O

TT: Don't be silly, greenlet, of course you did. Perhaps not much, and perhaps you even felt bad about that, but when someone shows you something horrifying with no apparent remorse, it'd be a rare troll who didn't want them to feel guilty about it.

TT: It's not something I blame you for.

TT: Perhaps Rivali is right.

TT: At least from a practical standpoint.

TT: I have to admit, your idea of 'unfair' throws me.

TT: That I can't puzzle out.

TT: You know I'm property, right?

TT: I wasn't kidding about being a science experiment.

TT: The man who started it is long dead, but I still belong to the Empire.

TT: Why do you think Rivali does as they please, even though I'm many times their senior?

TT: If I am the only person who thinks that, then your coworkers are silly.

TT: Or they don't appreciate you.

TT: Whichever.

GG: you showed that to me because you felt cornered and wanted me to back off!

GG: of course you dont feel bad about it >:V

GG:

GG: you dont, right?

GG:

GG: and of course i know youre property! i guess its just

GG: hard to grasp? you have feelings just like the rest of us! and if i was in your place, i would want someone to be nice to me >:V

GG: and they do appreciate me, dont be mean! you can still like someone if theyre a little ditzy >:V

TT: Who said I don't feel bad about it?

GG: you!!

TT: I said apparent remorse.

GG:

TT: You missed a trick.

TT: Now I'm hardly sobbing my oculars out.

TT: And I stand by my reasoning being sound.

TT: But I don't actually enjoy upsetting people, for the most part.

TT: It was a necessary evil, but look at all the effect it had.

TT: About the same as a grub flinging itself at a windshield.

GG: sorry ;O

TT: If you were, we wouldn't be having this little back-and-forth, but I'm not here to wag my finger at you for it.

GG: youre doing a lot of finger wagging for that! ;P

TT: 'For that' being the operative phrase.

TT: ...I have to admit, it's been a while since someone cited 'feelings' as basis for personhood to me.

TT: Even I'm not buying that one.

TT: Zombies have feelings, and most of them are about as sapient as my shoes.

TT: But more the point, my feelings don't really count legally.

TT: And it's not really my concern if people are nice to me.

GG:

GG: does it hurt you if im nice to you?? >:V

TT: No, but it could potentially hurt you.

TT: That was my point.

TT: Not about to argue that, though, pointless endeavor.

GG: kiiiiind of!

GG: becauuuse its a liiiiittle condescending to try to make decisions for me like this! >:V

TT: See, Rivali's logic is that you deserve to make your own mistakes.

TT: I guess they agree with you there.

TT: Also, greenlet, if I seem condescending, it's because I can't quite wrap my head around someone wanting to be buddies with me after they know the truth.

TT: I can infer reasonings behind your individual actions, but the whole is still very much a mystery.

TT: I have doubts it's part of some elaborate plot, you wouldn't really have much to gain.

TT: Yet who willingly befriends something like me? You're not daft, so it's not that.

TT: A desire to prove your own goodwill?

TT: I suppose that's a decent reason.

TT: Or just to prove you can, perhaps.

GG:

GG: dooooes it

GG: matter if im doing this because im selfish?

GG: youre getting food and someone to talk to out of it!

GG: if you want me to leave you alone, i will

TT: Not really. You're not bad company.

TT: I just don't want you putting more into this than you should.

GG: you should stop worrying my worries for me ;O

TT: Perhaps I have my own, greenlet.

GG: seeeee

GG: you can worry those instead!

TT: You would find them insulting.

TT: So I would rather approach it from your motivations instead of my suspicions.

GG:

GG: :V ?

TT: I'm not keen to hurt your feelings again, for several reasons.

GG:

GG: you shouldnt have to worry about that!! >:V

GG: if this is about rivali, i can blame it on my recent breakup!

TT: gracious.

TT: clever, though, they'll buy that.

GG:

GG: do you think so? :O

TT: redirection is as good of a strategy as any.

TT: especially for Rivali, who loves silly relationship comedy shows.

GG: pffffffffff

GG: i knoooow, its adorable

TT: Don't say that to them.

TT: They don't know how to handle compliments.

TT: At least on anything that's not work.

GG: i know ;V

GG: i figured that out the hard way, pffff

TT: I suppose the greater mystery is why you want to defend them.

TT: They're not really very nice.

TT: They're obsessed with excelling at work.

TT: Thus they don't want you upset.

GG: thats your perspective! >:V

GG: theyre trying their best!!

TT: Do you know why I suddenly turned up, greenlet?

GG: nooooo?

TT: Rivali caught me and used a hired gun to shoot me in the pumper six times.

GG:

TT: It's not even because they hate drinkers, or anything silly like that.

TT: They just saw an opportunity.

GG: an opportunity?

TT: I'm a science experiment they haven't been able to replicate since.

TT: I can say without any false modesty that I'm valuable.

GG:

GG: thats a smart move, though!

GG:

GG: iiiiif

GG: youre not weird like me and get attached, i guess :V

TT: It would be smart if Rivali wasn't fighting a hopeless battle.

TT: They want their cavern to accept them and promote them.

TT: That's not going to happen.

TT: They might as well have left me for all the good it did them.

GG: oh dear

TT: Why do you think they got transferred to you?

TT: Just having them work aboveground wasn't enough for their head matron, I suppose; they sent them further away.

TT: and like their barkbeast lusus with a bone, they won't let go of trying to get prestige.

GG:

GG: thats reeeaaaally similar to my my story :'V

GG: thats so sad though

TT: Don't mistake Rivali as being like you, greenlet.

TT: They don't care who they have to use to get ahead.

TT: I mean, perhaps you don't either, but I imagine you'd at least pause.

GG:

TT: It's less sad and more born of bitterness.

GG: thats so sad though

TT: Don't project on them, they're more than old enough to know better.

GG: whaaaat, and im not?

TT: You're what, nine? Ten?

GG: niiiiine :V

GG:

GG: i dont like where this is going :V

TT: Rivali is fourteen.

TT: Bit of a difference there.

TT: They would be old enough to make a lower-ranked matron by now, if they had their way.

TT: Old enough to know their efforts are pointless, presumably unlike whatever you want to do.

TT: Which is another likely difference between you.

GG: pfffff

GG: dooo you know why im doing this job?

TT: Not a clue.

TT: I'd be open to learning.

GG: myyyy headmatron threw me out of the cavern, because she hated my guts that much

GG: and now im sloooowly working my way up here, but theres a huuuuge chance that im never going to be very good at it!

GG: i just dont work fast enough, or even smart enough :'V

TT: Am I really supposed to believe you're not smart enough.

TT: You keep pretending but it's fairly plain you're plenty smart enough.

GG: im people smart, not book smart :'I

TT: Hm.

GG: >:V

TT: and did she? that's rather petty.

GG: a liiiiittle

GG: she ruled with an iron fist, pffff

GG: her part of the cavern was the most efficient one

TT: I find that unlikely if she was prone to making decisions based solely on personal dislike.

GG: i miiiiight have

GG: lost a few important documents?

GG: but pfffffff, i dont want to talk badly about her!!

TT: Who am I going to tell? I don't care.

TT: But I'm hardly going to ask you to rag on her either.

GG: youre doing a pretty bad impression of not caring!

TT: I meant about if you talk badly of her.

GG: pffff, okay!

GG: but then im preeeeetty sure im wasting my breath and boring you to death right now!

GG:

GG: that was insensitive, im so sorry :'V

TT: How was that insensitive?

TT: Inaccurate, but not insensitive.

GG:

GG: yooooure dead, right?

TT: Interesting question.

TT: Given that was happened to me was an intentional operation done in laboratory settings, I'm not really sure if I am.

TT: I never actually was killed.

TT: Even if I was, I would have to be extremely petty and oversensitive to be offended by such a thing, though.

GG: i never knooooow

GG: i keep trying not to step on peoples walkstubs, and then doing it anyways :'V

TT: I'm prone to bursts of pettiness but usually over things that are more worth my time.

TT: Greenlet, I'm a one hundred and several decades sweep old rainbowdrinker whose existence is an offense to trollkind.

TT: It's a bit difficult to genuinely step on my walkstubs.

GG: you can have feelings if you want! >:V

TT: I have feelings, greenlet, but generally they don't involve being upset over things that don't matter enough to me to be upset over.

TT: If someone hurt my snails, I would be upset.

TT: This? Doesn't register.

GG:

GG: okay :V

GG: aaaanyways

GG: aaaare you

GG: happy with this?

TT: Do specify, dear.

GG: weeeeell

GG: you came here looking for a reason why im trying to befriend you, right??

TT: More to state the reasons why I'm skeptical of that.

TT: I wasn't really expecting you to answer.

TT: If it were that simple, I'd have figured it out already.

GG: :V

GG: soooo iiiii

GG: typed a lot for nothing

TT: Not to me.

GG:

GG: you dont have to figure people out, though!

TT: Imagine for a moment you're a creature who tends to repulse people just by existing, never mind by showing what they can do.

TT: It's unusual if people don't react with immediate fear, disgust, and shunning you, if they know what you can do.

TT: You understand those, at least, they make sense.

TT: and then someone comes along and says that's unfair, even though they don't gain any apparent benefit from it.

TT: It's understandably strange and you wonder why.

GG: i was scared of you at first!

GG: but youre a troll around the worms, and one thats getting the reeeeaaaally short end of things

TT: My situation isn't as bad as you seem to think.

GG:

GG: maybe i have too much empathy to be a good citizen :'O

TT: It's not like I'm being tortured every night.

TT: That was part of the deal.

GG:

GG: oh dear.

TT: why oh dear.

TT: that's a good thing.

GG: its not a good thing that it was on the table!

GG:

GG: are you happy like this, then?

TT: greenlet, dear, what do you think happens to things like me, usually? tea and cookies?

TT: It's fine enough. I have my snails, I have my phone because Rivali's figured out trying to take it from me is a bad idea. I still have my contacts.

TT: Life could be significantly worse. I'm not about to complain.

GG:

GG: okay

GG: im sorry if me trying to chatter at you is weird, then

TT: It's strange but not unwelcome.

TT: If I didn't like it, I wouldn't have messaged you.

GG: soooo i can

GG: keep doing it?

TT: If you like, though in more practical matters, I figure I ought to repay you for the blood.

TT: My stipend's been confiscated, but I'm sure we can figure something out.

GG: noooo you dont have tooooo

TT: for my own peace of mind I enjoy not being in debt too long.

GG: its not a debt, i get it for free!!

TT: It's still a favor to me that must cost you some effort.

TT: Time is as valuable as caegers.

GG: pffff, not really xV

GG:

GG: mayyybe you could tell me the office gossip you hear? ;V

TT: I don't think sitting in my locked room is going to bring me much more than you with your connections already know.

TT: unless you want information on Rivali's cavern, though I don't know why that would be useful.

GG: not reaaally

GG:

GG: i dont knoooow

TT: Clearly you like information, though, and I do have contacts.

TT: Some in fleet.

GG: :O

GG:

GG: i meeeaaan

GG: i like gossip

TT: gossip is just another word for information.

GG: information about other peoples relationships! ;V

TT: I'm sure that's part of it.

GG: yessss i would love to hear it

GG: just tell me whenever you hear something interesting, and were even ;O

TT: In a sense.

-- twitteringTailor [TT] has given up trolling gladsomeGluttony [GG] --

#this is like 3k goddamn words #oh god we're turning into mar and reba #okay not that bad #but still #glowtrolls #etuuya vannyn #matcha ginia

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