#i dont want to get ahead of myself
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idk like. jesus did know his time was limited, but for how long did he know it? do you think he watched the sky before he went to sleep and knew it would be one of his last sunsets? did he reach out to the orange wavering sun as if to hold it in his hand? frowning when it didn't burn? did he bite into a fig during supper and cry at its sweetness? kneel down next to a dog running in the road and marvel at the existence of life, whisper to it "tomorrow is my last, please keep me in your mind"? did he try and stay up long past everyone else to savor the night, the light of the stars, the sound of the wind? maybe he longed. yearned. i think he wanted a lot of things very badly before he had the time to say it
#pig originals#im so fucking sorry i think ive been thrown into my mutuals brain. for a hot second.#i dont even remember the bible but i am so so mournful over. when characters understand they have to go Soon but don't want to#lingering. i love the word lingering. that's this!! that's this one!! do you think he tried to linger?#hung around doorways while his friends chatted inside? tried to memorize the sound of their laughter? im getting ahead of myself#ren if you see this. whoops i have to go#pig pens
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ascension
anatomy practice that became Porter
#porter cliffbreaker#fhjy#i like his ponytail#i wanted to try more rocky texture but i dont know how back muscles work and i felt like i was getting ahead of myself#the secret to anatomy is you can start making shit up...#me to myself “wow i love drawing porter backshots”...wait
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zonked out on the dog bed snoring up a storm. you come over and rub the soft spot on the top of my nose. i let out the most contented sigh
#blllllaggggh busiest doggy everyday of my life and i am exhausted#ye beware of sadposting ahead. more like just need to get thoughts out of my headposting yk. im ok just tired#friend said to me today 'youre always doing something these days jasper when do you rest?'#and i was like huh good question! i dont hahaha. damn#which is not a bad thing always. but my plate is incredibly full and i have no one to help me#im in a really good place. things are happening that ive wanted to happen for years. but i have no time to take care of me#and the ppl who are supposed to take care of me dont. and they let me down everytime i try to ask for it. which im used to#but it doesnt make it any easier. theres just not enough hours in the day and not enough energy in my little doggy body#i used to be able to push myself past the wall of exhaustion. but after my therapy program ik i just can not do that anymore#im really proud of myself. being an adult is hard. im doing everything right. but i just wish i had someone by my side to help me#anyways.#i am a very good boy#yapping#if youre reading this hi im just venting im fine. its just been a long day and i want someone to give me a head massage#jasperbarks
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ohhh my GOD this took so much time but WOOOO BATTLE SPRITES!!!!!!!!!!! HELL YES!!!!!!!!!!! i was Also able to mod them actually In Game which is SO exciting i feel so proud of myself
ANYWAYS UM!!!! heres king lucas hes fine and sane and normal i promise <33333 will yap more about him in the eventual au masterpost once i get this aus loop design drawn :]
party menu | in love and time au tag
#in love and time au#im fucking. giddy im five seconds from exploding#theres certainly things id fix about these sprites theyre not perfect but i already spent so much time on them i dont wanna. heart#anyways im So hyped about being able to put em in game this opens up so many opportunities#maybe i could make more sprites and then make a short video or smth-- *shot for getting ahead of myself*#claus mother 3#lucas mother 3#ness earthbound#paula earthbound#ninten mother 1#mother 3#earthbound#mother 1#mothscribbles#one day ill post at a normal hour. that day is not today#also please ask if you want this spoiler tagged#for like. idk the king#i think the rule in my head is that anything past act 2 will get spoiler tagged but acts 1-2 will be fairly free game??#but im up for whatever yall want
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SEKAI (FANTASTICS) & Nawata Yuya's (Gavv's suit actor) twitter interaction re: Got Boost? MV
Official Gavv: Please pay attention to Gavv and Valen's dancing too 🍭
SEKAI: They were fantastic!!! To think there comes a day where I teach dancing to Kamen Riders 😭
Nawata Yuya: Likewise! I never thought the day will come where I get to learn dancing from SEKAI-san! It was an amazing and happy experience! Got Boost? will be released on 23rd October! Please look forward to it ☺️✨
SEKAI: Please don't mention it! Thank you for your time! It was a super luxurious experience for me too 🙇🙇
Nawata Yuya: That should've been my line! During the MV shooting, I couldn't take my eyes off watching Sekai-san! Valen's suit actor, Kaji and I were so excited and kept saying, "Wow, this is so cool!" between ourselves! And on this occasion, congratulations on becoming the No. 1 Professional Ranked Dancer!* Please come over to (Gavv's) shooting anytime ✨
SEKAI: Thank you very much, it's an honor 😁🙏 I'll definitely come over sometime!!
*Sekai was announced as the No. 1 dancer in a tv show yesterday
#exile sekai#nawata yuya#sekai noticed by nawata yuya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#SEKAI SAN GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!#does this mean???!!!!!!! sekai cameo in gavv???? confirmed?????????#dont want to get too ahead of myself bUT AAAAAHHHH#never thought i would see the day where my oshi gets to talk to kamen rider vice but here we are#fantastics from exile tribe#kamen rider gavv#fanta tweets
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small leisurely moments like these mean more than expected
ok hi triglycergang. it's AUGUST?!?!?! ugh,,,, anyways here's my like once a month art piece because i am a slow ass artist. the mtt are supposed to be chatting at a park during sunset!!! also new au just dropped
you wonder why killer dust and horror are wearing those DISGUSTING outfits??? you wonder where killer's soul is??? well it's all gone in this au which is called uhhh.
jk fashion au... wooooo!!
first things first to know: this au is NOT my idea. it was originally someone on twitter's idea to dress sans aus up in nanchatte seifuku but i think their account got deleted/banned. and i cant find the account because it was a japanese account and probably has some random username. so just remember that this isn't my idea but i guess my own twist on it. i really wish i could find the og creator,,,,
second thing to know: what the fuck nanchatte seifuku/jk (just kidding) fashion even is. here's the link to read for yourself: https://aesthetics.fandom.com/wiki/Nanchatte_Seifuku. yeah that's jk fashion. i really loved this au when i found it originally because i myself dress up in jk and also i just really love soft fluffy things like this. this au isn't gonna be angsty or particularly elaborate or anything i just wanted cute things and women in my murder time trio. also this isn't gyaru btw
third thing: uhh my inspirations for this??? well my main one that i really wanna focus on is that feeling of happy sentimental melancholy. you know like after you finish a really fun day hanging out with your friends and youre on the drive home and look back at how fun the day was? that's what i wanna encapsulate :3 also i think that the day to day school life is really cute and sweet and i wanna make more designs for the other aus so my trio can have more people to hang out with
well uhhh i think that's it?? mayhaps i shall begin drafting up other designs for the other aus. i wanna make little mini comics for this too like 4koma because i love those short yet sweet comics!!! should i tag this? i think i should tag this perchance. also extra mtt notes/full designs below became i love these three they're my daughters
#tricule art#jk fashion au#i wonder how many lesbians i can fit into one au before it gets to be too much#i can't believe this is actually real LMAO. i really just slapped uniforms onto the mtt and called it a day#ok but fr this au is gonna help me figure out how to publish swapinverse so haha. i get fun and learning#this au is just a bunch of projection from me onto the sans aus. i make them hang out because i have nobody else to irl#UHHH i doubt people are gonna wanna draw this au themselves but if you want to.... go ahead..... i dont mind.......!!!!!#also i doubt people are gonna send asks but.... if they do..... 𝓱𝓮𝓱....i'll answer alright#i have ideas for other designs teehee. ink design idea. cross design idea. epic idea. nightmare dream idea. soon the entire utmv will be jk#i think the first 4koma is gonna be mtt debating doors vs wheels. because i think they should#and then another 4koma about them sharing lunches and i'll do some cultural research there#and then another 4koma about killer's several cancellations#4koma about horror's personality switch up when alone#i just have so many ideas and love for this cute au#if people draw this/ask about it i think i will genuinely blow up#if people are weird with them i think i will drown myself. they are MINORS in HIGH SCHOOL. everyone has shorts under neath their skirts /sr#sorry for the human limbs fellas i couldn't be bothered to draw full skeleton bodies. just pretend theyre full skeletons#i really pushed myself with this one. i think???? idk this felt easier than it shouldve been#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#bad sans gang#bad sanses#utmv#undertale au#sans au#undertale multiverse#utmv au#undertale
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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QUESTION FOR THE MOD!
Will there ever be a point/has there ever been a point where we can ask the living characters? Like Basil for example?
There hasn't been, but I'm working in that direction!! I'd like for Basil to be the next new character to answer questions! I'm not sure about the others, since I've expressed that I'm not too great at writing for them and because it might be too many characters to focus on at one time for me...
But!! Basil will definitely be next! I have some ideas...I just think Sunny needs to fight Omori first and foremost (Which will happen I've just been needing a clear plan on how to transition to it) him trying to help Basil in this condition will just lead to worse things for sure...
So yeah! If you guys are wanting another character to ask questions to rn though...I could open Omori for questions again, I've been kinda thinking about that...though, I've been enjoying the sibling Q&A, very silly!!
Let me know your thoughts though!! Feedback is always great!
-💛
#ive been wanting to draw basils sprites actually but i dont want to get too ahead of myself#omori#omori ask blog#omori blog#omori askblog#omori au#omori bad ending#omori characters#omori character#mod 💛#mod ask#mod speaks#mod asks#rp ask blog#ask blog#askblog#character ask blog
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#VENT#VENT TAGS AHEAD !!#so the job is...awful.#i applied for 20-25 hours#they asked if i could do 30#and now theyre pushing me into 40.#i didn't realize that when i agreed to 30 that was NOT binding (i should have known because it wasn't in my job offer. but i am 19 and--#ive never had a job offer letter before. even tho this is just retail)#and i can't adjust my availability for 90 days.#and since i put full availability expecting 25 hours max#now i have FULL 24/7 AVAILABILITY ON FILE for three months at least#and i have no idea what to do because this means i cant commit to any classes coming up for college#but ive been job hubting for months and barely got anything#and if i lose the job i have to move back in with my dad which is almost worse#whats wirse is my leader/boss is so mean. im not saying this lightly#i dont want to get into it but im barely a week in and he's made disrespectful and pushy comments towards me#has basically told me to stay late (which theoretically i cluld say no; but im still on my three months of 'we will fire you if we want to'#and like i said. need the job.#so he told me to stay late knowing i cant really say no#he's given me a frankly absurd amount of work (instock and i get carts filled woth 2-3x their max capacity unorganized and dangerously--#overloaded) and then he pushes me and snaps at me to get it done in an absurdly short timeframe while im still in TRAINING#im afab and present femme as i haven't transitioned irl and he is so ragingly sexist#he often just refers to me and the other girl being trained as 'girl' or 'that girl#and to top it all off#i took this job over a second interview at a place i really liked#because i thought the hours at this olace would be more consistent#nope! full time! surprise!!#and now im kicking myself so fucking hard over it. i feel like i fucked up so hard#and my friend i moved here with has been home for two months and will be this month so im just. alone. and i don't really have anyone to#turn to. im just so very stressed and tired and lonely
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Also if you ever feel pressured to send me a meme and it stresses you out: don't be! My muse and many others live rent free in my head, following their whimsies and scenarios that I daydream about! Memes are irrelevant when I have infinite self-produced material!
#from another realm ━ (ooc)#particulary if we have something already going on with our muses unless its smth that interests you personally you dont have to send me shi#as we are already at an advanced level and we can skip some building. expecially if we have eachothers discords and we discuss them often#i DO prefer the approach that has someone perouse my ask meme tag (in my pinned) freely so theres less pressure to interact#or unprompted... like if you want to send go ahead if you don't want to then not. its rlly super simple with me#even if i do get weird about it i'll handle getting weird myself without bothering anybody. as i should handle it
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its them, marbo n looge!
#JP&E#mario#super mario bros#cosmo creates#doodles#<creating a new tagging system soon whoo hoo!#anyways yeahahh theyre too fun to draw#also thinking of like..making comics n illustrations with these designs#but i dont want to get too ahead of myself cause then i freeze up#these sketches will do for now <3
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who knew that some agere people would be the worst type of people to exist (talking about you spinny)
#dont get your toddler army to do your anon hate and unblock me on discord if u want to talk#ik you act like a baby and thats fine but if youre bold enough to try to get me paranoid (and fail) then u should be bold enough to dm me#yknow without hiding yourself#either do that or leave us alone girl!! move on#like why do you preach about moving on to a new era and then actively seek out trouble ????#get a job or something#trying to make me think my bf is cheating on me is such a weird thing to do and a big low for you spinny. it's actually sad#the worst part youre not even good at doing it. youre making shit up from what you THINK you know & hiding behind ur friend#its okay to fall out of friendships and im not even trying to meddle with your life but you are literally actively seeking out problems#and thats so pathetic. especially when you paint yourself all high and might over us ??? clearly we tried everything for you#until we got to a point where we were literally drowning because we have other shit in our lives too#you keep losing friends and complain about it. maybe consider why??? because of lack of communication and empathy!! youre just mean!#especially to those who've always tried so hard to have your back and defend you! (buka and me!!!)#yet you didnt care. you dont communicate and expect us to read minds & you demand things#and u say that a real friend should know when to reach out & ya but when it gets to a point where i feel like im drowning? no thanks#im prioritizing myself and my mental health im sorry#not to mention i was ALWAYS IN THE MIDDLE IN YOUR BULLSHIT#so grow up. actually. and if you wanna dm me then unblock me and we can talk#if you want to keep hiding behind your toddler friends acting like youre all small and sweet and babies then go ahead but leave us alone?#at least ill have closure and finally come to terms that you're not rlly a good person and u use your illnesses to excuse ur behavior#because i still think about you and wish you were our friend but after everything thats happened (this being the cherry on top for ME)#then maybe you really just are a shitty person and you do more harm than good#soz to everyone else reading this just continue scrolling LOL#its drama cus an ex friend is sending their toddler militia on me for some reason???#delete later
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~
#not snz#more musings 📝 / mini vent:#not sure why my social battery is so limited 😭 and also so inconsistent#i feel like i can't sustain the amount of... like continued/consistent enthusiasm i see others giving esp in group settings#i just don't know how to engage in that way without burning out#over the past few weeks i've been stuck in like#a strange state where i can't muster the energy to properly respond to even the people i'm most excited to reply to#which is strange??#(and if that is you i am sorry 😭 i love you and i will get back to you)#i think i can't even like manage to get myself into the mindset of enjoying something for myself (eg. a conversation with a friend)#i think a part of it is the stress from work leeching into my personal life#i feel like i've been working so hard and for such long hours but its the kind of work where the progress i've made is very hard to track??#:( i just want to be off of ******* work so i can work on ******* work again#i also want to get ahead enough on everything in my life so that i write y+v D:#i feel like i haven't had a properly restful day in weeks... even over the weekend i was busy attending to others' needs#i just want a break from it all... but i dont have enough time to take off... but i dont know how much more of this i can take#i remember also feeling during uni like i was drowning#like there were simply not enough hours in a day to deliver everything i promised. it's such an awful feeling#i just feel defeated. like i've felt exhausted for weeks and weeks on end and like i spend every waking hour working on something or other#but ofc there is nothing to do but to keep at it 😭 other people can handle all of this and more#there are so many people i refuse to let down
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On my way to the funeral. I did finish writing the thing. It'll be like 10 minutes of speaking. I barely got the time to practice it.
I kind of feel like I'm going to be sick.
#speculation nation#negative/#two hours of socializing ahead of me. how wonderful.#im probably going to try to find times to squirrel myself away to go over my thing.#brought the journal with me. it has a front folder. the letter i wrote to my dad when i was 16 is in there.#i dont know if that makes much difference. it makes a difference to me.#none of them need to know about it.#im supposed to go up there and share my grief so openly#i focused more on the lessons ive learned after all of this.#they dont get to know about when i was crying over his jackets. when i was crying over a pic of him in a minions hat.#i dont know. i just want this day to be over.
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How do i even fucking answer that. Genuinely. Do i even answer that. I dont really think ic are that much anymore
#shes not really all that#I can just cancel on her tbh#Because like. Literally whats the point#Ok we can hang out sure whatever sure I dont care though? I dont#that's not why i was interested. Like she seems great to be clear and i do love talking to her#but like. Im not even like. A complete person.#Its ok. Im going to just ride out today and tmrw i will probably be logical even though I think i just am going to delte the app#bc Whats the fucking point !#Yeah lets friendly style go to a flea market. Fucking sure. On the dating app. Sure.#and everyone is like that sucks but you know that its good she told you - Yeah but i didnt want to fucking know that#Nobody gets how hard it is to always hear I want to fuck you from people you don't like and hear#I can't be with you because you won't fuck me. from people you do like#WHATEVER it seems like all my friends are having good days and I like did a thing and its not like any of this matters#Because ill cancel on her and that will give me more time to do something productive that day#And all this is good becausei can just get ahead on my fucking work#and instead of me being there my two friends who are dating can like cuddle and I just dont have to be involved at all#and she can just. Whatever. I don't really like her anyway#'lets be friends' in the context of something that isnt that is such an afterthought I understand that culturally.#Ik this is all really amatonormative and i realize im being a dick in that way. I do have more sensible opinions generally i assure u#but like. yeah man nobody will want to date me unless i fuck them. Awesome news. Should i just kill myself.#will mare ever actually have a truly requited relationship? despite having been in three? Stay tuned
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also uh im kind of not thinking about it much because its insane. but if everything goes right (and i mean a considerable amount of things that probably wont go as planned) but if they DO... i will have a major surgery in like two weeks
#vertical sleeve gastrectomy to be exact insert nerd emoji here#i might document a lot of whats going on with it and even take some videos honestly#not to share here other than some oversharing text posts about probably constipation LMAO#but like no one shares whats it like to be mentally ill and go thru vsg and like the process and not many people as young as me get it#feels weird calling myself young on the chronically 13 year old website#but anyone that does post about it posts for like a year and then falls off the face of the earth#genuinely there are so many youtubers that start talking about this stuff#then you find their channel three years deserted and its like man.#i sure hope this means you found better ways to spend your time#and like okay time to get sappy and corny as hell in the notes so go ahead and skip this part idk who even reads my notes hello#but basically everyones that gets this shit is like you gotta find your why#and most of them have kids or like a husband or plans to travel the world or do better at their job#and none of those things really apply to me#i kind of have the perfect storm for being fat#i dont do anything work wise that encourages any kind of movement#im chronically afraid of planes and i cant afford that shit anyways rn#also not very good at romance LOL and never want kids and my entire family is also fat barring my brother#thats not to absolve myself of any of the blame for this shit either like i know i put myself in this situation#i just think like wow my life is pretty much perfect for staying fat but i DONT WANT THAT#I want the highlight of my week to be more than eating takeout man#i want to live life instead of meal to meal to something better#idk what yet maybe jewelery piece to jewelery piece#i could do some serious kandi making while im down for the count#but i dunno man my therapist tells me that in order to feel like a person and not get tired of life i have to do people things and#participate in life yknow?#and its hard to do things like go to the gym talk to people explore fashion styles when i have this overloomingness of being fat#so i guess that could be my why? like i want to experience more of life#i want to be able to walk in a mall and look at all the stores. i want to walk in a mall period. cause it fucking hurts the way i am now#thats all to say the actual “why” that i have is Goddamn it i want to be able to jump from a swing#and not break my fucking ankles
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