#i dont want to do ANYTHING what do u mean i have to focus on schoolwork eat my ass

[skunkes]

How much time in a day do you think you do art? Personally do you think that's a good amount?

i couldn't say, my days are unstructured. i sleep very late because i can only get in the zone when everyone's asleep and wont bother me, but im prone to distraction when I get to do whatever i want, too.

i wake up late without enough sleep and end up loafed and in bed for a good chunk of the day (and night) trying to regain energy (and daydreaming)... cant draw much during the day regardless of being left alone or not bc i get frustrated having to anticipate things like eating....i just want to get in the zone for hrs and not have to care abt such things...

whatever the amount is its definitely not enough and i was going to try to actually calculate it before i realized itd just make me sad. all i do is waste time

[waffliesinyoface]

personally i believe that everyone who experiences periods should just get a free pass to fuck off from all obligations for a week every month. would i use EVERY day? no. would i use it some days? like today? yes. god. fucking hell. someone please give me a massage and also a chocolate bar and a blanket and some calming fucking tea.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

Just out of curiosity, anyone else get like elevated mood, insane evergy, or like unhinged focus while on their period?

[dreamiie4her]

How i mastered the art of persisting & how yall can too

hello my luvs, lemme tell u, its been a rlly eventful last 2 weeks in terms of me undergo a drastic shift in my mindset and WHEWWWWW, i thought it was time to share with yall

storytime

this past year i told myself i would adopt a strict mental diet where i wouldn't let doubts stop me or anything and lemme tell you, it was such a rocky road. There would be periods of me affirming that i was a master shifter, seek validation from the 3D and then start dwelling in my old state again. This cycle of giving up continued until i came across these posts. I then deeped how i've been overcomplicating manifesting & shifting to the point where i would give up so easily on my new states because "persisting was too hard” when it rlly wasn't. Anyways, lemme share my favourite tips & advice i learnt.

THE ADVICE & TIPS

stop associating emotions w/ states

Once i stopped associating me doubting, being frustrated, etc with my state, i found stuff x10000 EASIER!! I be affirming when i'm sad/frustrated because my emotions do NAWT define me. If something happens in my life, i allow myself to acknowledge it then i affirm on loop that "everything gets better" and the very fact i am a master manifestor.

manifesting will exist whether u like it or not

whenever i feel like "giving up", i remember that no matter if i "give up" on my desires or not, the law of assumption will still operate in the same principle of dominant thoughts materialising ur reality. So that really made me think, why would i not take advantage of knowing about the loa and manifesting everything i want? Like once you find out about the law of assumption, there is no turning back so u might aswell utilise it.

you can never lose your "manifestation powers"

Sometimes i be having thoughts "what if i lose my manifestation powers" and its like?? i will always be able to manifest easily & so will you. You can never "lose" the ability to manifest. Its a LAW. Meaning you will always be able to do it

pick a staple affirmation & loop it no matter what

After utilising robotic affirming, i've felt so much more FULFILLED then i ever did. Trust me when i say, pick one affirmation (e.g. "i am a master shifter") and keep affirming through your doubts, random thoughts, etc. Litreally when you deep it, affirming is basically thinking and thinking is super duper easy. So picking one affirmation and continuously repeating it is so easy even when you feel like your having sm doubts (trust me, once u get in the habit of js affirming, things feel sm easier).

you don't need to believe to manifest

Before some of yall come at me, lemme tell yall something. When i got more serious about the loa this year, i overconsumed a sh!t ton of loa content stating in order to manifest your desires and it made me feel so frustrated whenever i felt doubts/overwhelmed when affirming for my desire. The belief bit will follow natrually while persisting, dont focus on beliving in ur manifestation, keep repeating you have it & your belief of it will feel more natrual as you keep repeating it (if that makes sense)

the 3D isn't the end, keep persisting

I made a post about this but to keep it short & simple, your 3D circumstances aren't permanent. Just because you may be experiencing the opposite of what you want in the 3D, doesn't mean it will stay like that forever and your manifestation "won't work". Keep affirming bb <3

okie that's it for the post <3 i'll probs make a pt2 if i got anymore advice?? but hope yall liked it ;3

[ttrashlord]

⋆ ˚⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚⋆Headcanons of Arcane men kissing reader and how to they kiss (no gender specific) ⋆ ˚⋆୨♡୧⋆

Pairing:Steb x reader,Viktor x reader,Ekko x reader

STEB

It depends on the situation,if you two are in public (let's say in a date) he is sweet,tender,but nothing more than that.

If things start to get heated he will slowly apart and say something like: "not here hon' "or " let me save this moment for later"

If you're alone,in his or your house,that's different story.

He is selfcontroled...usually.

Your kisses start slow,tender,sweet,but the more he gets of you,the more he WANTS of you.

If you're on his lap,and start a whole make out session,oh boi,lets get ready to the MOST tender boyfriend you ever met (maybe besides Viktor)

He won't just slip his hand on your body (he's not a beast) he is asking for permission,and i mean this,for ANYTHING ALWAYS.

I have this headcanons where he instead of normal teeth he has sharp teeth,like sharks and kirishima

He won't do the thing where the person bites the other one's lip and pull (or any bite in general) because of this.

VIKTOR

Viktor is a goddamn problem,because you just don't know what to expect.

Imagine that you're on his lab (for our sanity jayce is gone early) and you're reading something in your chair,suddenly,hands appear on your shoulders,turns you around and BOOM,a heated,needy kiss from your boyfriend.

How did this even happen??

Dont complain pls i beg u

Just a few moments before,he was giving you pecks on the neck and cheeks,and now this??

(I mean,if i was you i will definetly not complain)

So when viktor is like this:

You want to rest in your bed and receive sweet love from your sweet boyfriend? Check

You want a whole make out session with no oxygen in your lungs? Check

You want It,you got It.

EKKO

(We all saw the scene with jinx but listen to me)

He is just into pda,(don't disrespect me on this one)

He will show It to you if:

1-is jealous,like,SUPER jealous

2you start the pda

He doesn't have a problem,like a said before,he likes It,but doesn't like to start It

But if you're in private oh oh oh boi pray to be saved from his love.

He cant get just enough of you.

He doesn't give two fucks about starting slow,he knows what he wants,and he wants It NOW

he is the type to try new things just to know your reaction.

Bites,caressing,tongue,the knee,Who said that?

But anyways,if you are in a bad mood or just need to be reminded how much he loves you,a slow,Deep kiss and a lots of pecks in your whole face will be given.

But yeah,you get the idea of how he usually is.

A/N-it's strange that i post like 4 post in a day?

Thank you so much for reading this!

I'll be doing so much more,about...you know...things

But i'll Focus more on arcane and fandoms that i know

I'll like to Focus more on steb because this poor baby deserves much more love ;(

See y next post ;) 🫰

[etherealkissed88]

stop seeing the 3d as something greater than you ☆

facts about the 3d

1. its forever a reflection of imagination/self, its a follower

you change self -> the 3d changes too because thats the law (thats how powerful you are). when you change yourself all the 3d can do is follow. it always expresses self. the 3d will always copy and follow self, it will always copy who you are being in imagination (your identity)

2. its forever neutral

the 3d has no original meaning bc you always assign everything meaning based on your state/perspectives

3. its forever changeable

since you are the operant power, you always have full control. the shit you see now is temporary. it always changes bc you are always changing states. dont feel discouraged when you havent seen any 3d change bc you know that it will change once you truly change self. nothing can possibly be permanent in the 3d so worrying about if "circumstances" will be there forever is useless. you have all the control at all times.

4. its forever an illusion, a lie

you experience the 3d via 5 senses which are limited asf. things you see might not be the things that are actually happening. i cant see gravity pulling me down, does that mean theres no gravity?

5. it does not have a mind of its own, its dead

how can the 3d think for itself if its only job is copying imagination? it is a limited version of imagination that is only a mirror. the 3d doesnt hate you, its not your enemy, you are assuming it is. you see how you always assume meaning because you have all the power? the 3d doesnt have that power. its dead means it has no original power. its nothing but presenting self like how a channel is presented on your tv (3d). it is indifferent, it doesnt mean anything, it is only a screen reflecting self.

6. the 3d follows, it never precedes

it cannot do anything without your decision, anything that happens is as a result of your state/your assumptions. it will always follow self (reflection of you). it cannot act out and give you what you dont want unless you change self. so it only follows you around. it has no control to take the first action because you are the first action.

the 3d is always below you because you are always in control of it as the operant power. you decide, you choose, you assume, you become, you embody, whatever word you like to use, you will always be above the 3d. everything is in your control always.

but the 3d never matters bc ur 3d could be an absolute mess but u can still manifest. why? bc its all about self! you can always change self and that, by law, changes the 3d. so the 3d only changes when YOU change. this is why we tell you to just focus on changing self!

i decide i am the version of me who has what i want in imagination (changing self) and its done. i know the 3d is nothing so if i see something i dont want: "its a lie" "its an illusion" whatever words you like, either way its neutral. i just gave it to myself so it rly is done.

"Life does not care whether you call yourself rich or poor; strong or weak. It will eternally reward you with that which you claim as true of yourself." - neville g

the 3d doesnt care about anything except what you assume yourself to be / your state (SELF) bc that is what it copies.

even when you think youre powerless, youre still being powerful…

*you will always be greater than the 3d because you are forever the operant power. it doesnt matter if you think or assume you arent be you always are. if you assume the 3d is more powerful, the 3d will reflect that, BECAUSE you as the OPERANT POWER decided that. so even if things seem bad, you have all the power at every moment and what you see is just the 3d presenting self. it SEEMS like ur not in power but since you continue assuming that, ofc that will reflect which proves you are always the operant power even w a shitty 3d.

the 3d is rly nothing bc the 3d changes under my power every time. once you understand that you are the operant power, everything else turns small. the 3d isnt the big bad wolf. its simply a reflection of you! do not view a REFLECTION of you as greater than YOU.

kisses, jani ☆

[honeytonedhottie]

hyper girliness⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🎀

this post is just my take on what girliness is to me and how i incorporate it into my life bcuz its a lifestyle for me. being super feminine and feeling happy and beautiful in that way is how i choose to live and this post is just talking about how i go about that. ofc with anything that u consume. take what resonates with you and leave the rest but i hope you'll enjoy…💬🎀

GIRLY MINDSET ;

i think of very highly of myself, like a princess. i did lots of self concept work to get my self concept to where it is now and i can confidently say that my self concept is just as flawless as i am. because i think so highly of myself, i treat myself accordingly. something that i reinforce in my thoughts is to treat myself like my favorite doll.

what does it mean to treat yourself like your favorite doll? PAMPER yourself, treat urself sweetly and preciously and your body and mind and soul will thank you tenfold. every investment that u put into urself whether its mental or physical will give you the highest ROI then anything else can because its YOU.

IN TOUCH WITH GIRLINESS ;

im rly in touch with my girliness when im practicing self care or doing something creative (like girlblogging for example) to me, femininity is expression and creativity and energy and beauty so anything that resonates with those four words is enriching my own girliness.

pampering and self care time every single day is a MUST

dancing or stretching

most tension for girls at least, is stored in ur hips, so whenever ur doing stretches or when u dance, i like to focus on my hips movements so that then i can release tension and let energy flow. doing so helps me to feel super in touch with my girliness and my femininity in general, so things like belly dancing and yoga.

PAMPERING ;

manis/pedis WEEKLY or every two weeks, u dont have to get them professionally done if u dont want to, but mainly focus on being well kept and well groomed and moisturized.

making sure my hair looks pretty and to my liking

being EXTRA during shower time ; using high quality and sweet smelling products, using body oils and body butters and lotions. taking bubble baths and using fancy bath milks and bubble bath.

GIRLY INCORPORATION ;

you can glamorize even the simplest of tasks by being super girly. here are some examples of incorporating girliness into mundane tasks. girliness is lots of ROMANTICIZATION

studying -> using cute stationary (mine are predominantly pink) decorated notes, cute study playlist (i listen to subliminals) keep an adorable space to study and wear a cute outfit

GIRLY CODE ;

being sweet and gentle with everyone (including urself) is SUCH a girly move and it makes u so pleasant and doll-like. theres no need to be nasty for no reason, cuz thats not hot. so mind ur p's and q's. say thank you, articulate ur feelings and ur thoughts. also, me saying making an effort to be nice is girly code does NOT mean that if someone is coming at u some kind of way that u shouldn't stand up for urself bcuz u absolutely should, but rly emphasize grace.

GIRLY ACCESSORIES ;

bracelets

anklets

purses

head bands

mini-skirts

on an ending note the main keys to girliness from my experience is all about how u treat urself, and that'll translate to how u treat others. and this post can serve as your reminder to pamper and spoil yourself bcuz u deserve it…💬🎀

[lotties-ashwagandha]

AGATHA & RIO NSFW ALPHABET

(afab reader, female implied, poly relationship/throuple with them and reader, im disregarding that we can’t kiss rio without dying)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

after sex they would both be so soft! depending on the mood both of them can be into pretty rough sex and in general i think sex is very intense for them not just physically but mentally as well, so afterwards they become quite gentle and sentimentally inclined. they're both quick to check on and cater to each other's and your needs, and expect that out of you as well. the time all of you spend together once you're all exhausted and grounded in each other becomes an act of quality time and showing affection through caring for each other. i feel you could get into some deeper discussions with them as well, which you might not usually have the time or focus for otherwise.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

rio loves agatha's neck and shoulders. she likes to run her knife down her neck and her hands are always finding agatha's shoulders to clutch when she's riding her thigh. OH and we know rio loves playing with agatha's hair as well, not in a sexual context but just in general.

agatha loves rio's. she. she loves her boobs man idk someone get this woman the biggest prode flag you've ever seen and scribble down BOOBS on it in sharpie. or whatever.

their favorite thing about you would be your legs, your arms your back your everything. they want every part of you.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

rio loves to make you taste yourself after she's finished eating you out. it's validation for her, a trophy and a way of rubbing in the fact that she just made you finish with her tongue.

agatha loves to see your face covered in her cum after riding your face. she wants to make a mess of you, claim you as hers in the way your chin glistens with her cum.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

on the witches road, they MAY have considered each fucking you during a trial and seeing who could make you come the fastest, obviously very funny time limit bc if you don’t complete the trial then u die I mean what who said that!

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

they’re both experienced, you’d get good at eating pussy after being around for centuries I would hope.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

when you’re trying to eat one of them out while the other is fucking you with her strap!!! agatha particularly loves making you and rio take her strap, and if you’re in a rough mood degradation kink mood then she loves to bully you, tease you, shame you for being so needy for her and desperate for her to fuck you. she likes to watch you ride it, but really she just wants to lay you down and make you come hard.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

they have to have some level of seriousness to actually like. get off. and with them like I mentioned before sometimes they will get really into the emotionally intimate and romantic aspect of sex, but with them nothing can stay serious for too long so there will be a bit of humor, a few mean jokes, anything to break the tension. if you don’t want that they’ll try to dial it back, but if you do then even better.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

with rio being death and agatha being a witch i dont think either of them have the most time to be meticulously shaving or waxing or whatever hair removal they would prefer. agatha would care more than rio, and i think they would both try to keep up with it to some extent, but time gets in the way. as for you they don't mind whatever you prefer to do (shaving, waxing, not doing anything in the way of hair removal) with yourself as long as you are comfortable.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

sex with rio and agatha can either be sex just to fuck or sex to be romantic. it depends on the mood, it depends on what has turned them on, it depends on the day. but sex for them can be a form of intimacy — neither of them are the best at expressing their feelings with words, and while sex should not take the place of verbal communication, it definitely helps.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

I can’t see them masturbating as much in a relationship, they’d both just prefer to fuck, but in general I think agatha would masturbate more often than rio?

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

do I even have to say knife kink??? knife kink. we all know knife kink. maybe even splurge a little and say blood kink.

bondage!!! they would be really into tying you up (and making a competition out of you somehow, a power struggle), and I can also see rio being so proud of herself if she got agatha to agree to let rio tie her up.

praise and degradation! of course. they’ll pick different sides, one night rio will be praising you and agatha degrading and then the next time it will switch. they crave both, and they want the element of surprise for you when you don’t know what you’re going to get from either of them.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

ideally at home in the bedroom but tbh you’ve all probably fucked everywhere including the witches road.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

if you’re a witch, they would get turned on by watching you do whatever magic you specialize in — they like seeing you with power, and they like taking it for themselves. they want to see that you’re powerful and then remind themselves that you belong to them.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

anything you say no to they’re throwing away the idea of, but in general they would be averse to sharing you with anyone else.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

rio would prefer giving, and agatha would prefer receiving. rio wants you and agatha coming on her tongue, wants to be what gives you those highs. agatha wants to completely let go of herself in your touch, forget the rest of the world exists for a little while because all that’s important is how pretty you look between her thighs.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

it depends!!! if it’s a more emotionally intimate and romance geared night they’re more slow and sensual, and otherwise it’s fast and rough.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

quickies anywhere and everywhere and whenever. as long as you’re in a place relatively safe from being discovered, the two of them are down for quickies. i can see them trying to test the limits of where they can and can’t fuck without being discovered too, so lots of being pulled into public restrooms or dragged off into the woods on the witches road or into an alley or whatever little places you can find.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

they will probably be down to experiment with whatever you bring up within reason, with both of them having been around for centuries they’ve seen it all, and it will take a lot to surprise them when it comes to testing things out.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

they can go for a relatively long time, rio can last longer than agatha but they go until they’re completely exhausted, there’s no such thing as casual sex for them unless you’re in public and it has to be a quickie somewhere.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

apart from vibrators and straps I can’t see them being incredibly into toys, they would much rather just go hands mouth all the essentials.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

an obscene amount it’s not even funny these women would tease you until you’re in tears and then would do it some more. it’s a game to them, like everything is.

I can see them reaaaally being into edging you and overstimulating you as a side note, rio wants to edge you and agatha wants to overstimulate.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

they’re both relatively vocal but not necessarily loud. agatha would be louder than rio, she loses every bit of composure when you’re fucking her and rio’s main goal specifically is to pull any moans, whines, anything she can get from agatha while fucking her. rio herself is a bit quieter, i can see her more prone to gasps and low moans — her tells would be more through body language, nails digging into your skin or her grip on you getting tighter.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

I’ve posted about this somewhere before but agatha with a mommy kink calling rio mommy. you agree.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

idk about agatha but I need to see rio in a black lingerie set. bah!

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

relatively high??? not super crazy but we all feel the level of longing for lesbian sex right.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

it depends, if it’s in the morning or afternoon they probably won’t. if it’s nighttime then not immediately, but not incredibly long after. in general they get some water take a shower make some food (bc i can see rio cooking up a three million course meal for the three of you after sex she gets hungry). they want to make sure you’re doing alright and just bask in the domestic bliss of aftercare before they give in to sleep.

[youremyheaven]

The Outcaste Nakshatra Urge to be Anti-Establishment

Disclaimer: As an Indian, I find the caste categorization of nakshatras to be very icky ngl but that said I do find that it does aid in the understanding of the nature & behaviour of nakshatra natives. I do not want this post (or any post I make on a similar theme in the future) to be read to mean that it ties to caste in real life and how people of a certain caste behave irl (i honestly dont know how many of you're Indian or even know what caste is but yeah). Nakshatra caste is different from irl caste and not synonymous with each other.

Outcast nakshatras tend to rebel against the status quo and have views that are very anti-establishment. This is only natural/logical since its always people who suffer the brunt of the system that try to rebel against it or point out its faults as opposed to someone who only reaps the rewards/benefits of said system.

In Claire Nakti's video about wealth indicators in astrology, she mentioned how a debilitated Moon aka Moon in Scorpio/Jyeshta was prevalent in the charts of the billionaires and is a major wealth indicator. Whereas Moon in Rohini (which is Moon's exaltation) creates contentment which means there's no room for growth, it makes the native content to the point where they're in a state of stagnancy and decay since there's no inner motive for change or growth or transformation. Jyeshta does the opposite, they're internally conflicted, and lacking contentment, so they're driven to accumulate things externally, they keep pushing because they're constantly dissatisfied.

I am working on a separate post about Moon-dominant natives but I find this specific quality of Rohini to be very scary, I have known several Rohini Moon natives irl who were like this, they chose the easier, more comfortable path in life even though it was bound to rot them from the inside and after many years, the stagnancy gets to them and they struggle with the lack of meaning/emptiness they feel.

I mention this because its important to understand what causes a person to rebel against the order/system.

Outcaste/Mleccha (pronounced muh ley-cha) Nakshatras are Bharani, Ashlesha, Visakha and Shravana.

(pyramid diagram by me: sorry for this wonky ass pyramid idk what im doing, hope u understand)

little bit of a tangent: in an earlier post with @venussaidso we mentioned how Purvabhadrapada is seldom mentioned in discussions about Jupiter natives, in that post I said that the concluding naks of every planet kind of transcends its influence. I also feel like another reason Purvabhadrapada is kind of excluded from these conversations about Jupiter influence (even in Claire's latest video about Jupiter women, most of the focus was on Vishaka and Punarvasu with only a few token Purvabhadrapada natives thrown into the mix)

Looking at the above diagram, we can see that Vishaka is an outcaste nakshatra which is why it experiences these themes (referring to Claire saying Jupiter natives spend a lot of their lives feeling invisible, feeling like outcasts etc) the most acutely, followed by Punarvasu which is a Vaishya caste nakshatra which means it falls in the middle of the caste hierarchy but unlike the Brahmin & Kshatriya caste nakshatras who enjoy a fixed position in society by birth, Vaishya (which is merchant & farmer caste) enjoy relative privilege only due to their labour and if they fall on bad times, they may not have anything to fall back on. They're kind of the fringes of society if that makes sense because their position is not as secure as the Brahmins/Kshatriya caste naks. Obviously, they are not ostracized the way the Shudra & Outcaste nakshatras often are and given their position, its always possible for them to accumulate wealth and status and climb the ladder which is not an option available to the Shudra & Outcaste nakshatras.

Purvabhadrapada is a Brahmin caste nakshatra which is at the very top of the hierarchy. Even though its Jupiter ruled, it does not experience the Jupiterean themes of exclusion, ostracization, invisibility and the subsequent transformation to the same degree or extent. Its energies are different and not connected to the themes or experiences of Punarvasu & Vishaka which is perhaps why it's often excluded (even subconsciously).

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back to the main topic,

Outcaste nakshatras are social outcasts who are not accepted into society, or who feel like they don't belong to mainstream society as they're unable to conform to its views & principles. They are ostracized either for existing or for their views and behaviour.

I'm only using this flow chart to depict the hierarchy so that it's easier to understand the dynamics of different nakshatras and I have no intention of hurting or causing harm to anyone in the name of caste

Outcaste nakshatras exist outside the hierarchy as they're not considered to be a part of the system but as those who do not belong on the hierarchy at all, they are given no place in society. This is disgusting and inhumane on every level but given their position its only understandable why Bharani, Ashlesha, Visakha and Shravana, who are the outcaste nakshatras behave the way they do or hold the opinions and ideas they do. They spend their whole lives feeling "othered", so it's easy for them to see the faults in the system as they've never benefitted from it. They are villainized by others and seen as bad people (Bharani & Shravana are Manushya (human) gana naks whereas Ashlesha & Vishaka are Rakshasa (demonic) gana naks, so I will say experiences across naks will vary)

This often manifests quite literally

Jennie, Vishaka Moon has received torrential hate even though she's arguably the biggest name in Kpop right now. (the video in question is not a hate video, its about why kpop stans have a tendency to blame Jennie for everything and how for many their hate towards the system as a whole is kind of directed at her because she's the face of the system for many).

Jennie was on the cover of Elle Icons Issue in 2023 and when asked what makes someone iconic, she said:

“Someone who clearly has their own opinions and thoughts, I think you’d only be able to be called an icon if you had the ability to ask others questions through your own perspective, rather than only share answers that everyone agrees on or stories everyone could like.”

This clearly reflects a tendency to challenge the status quo which she has done throughout her career, be it being a lingerie model (v unusual for a mainstream popular idol at the peak of their career), never addressing or apologizing for her dating scandals (imo nobody should have to apologize for dating someone but again its sadly the norm in the industry) or her "daring" concert outfit choices.

I've often suspected that Namjoon is perhaps Vishaka Rising because he's also always catching strays and received unsubstantiated hate over nothing. Plus given his transformation over the years, I feel like he really embodies Jupiter's extremes.

Anywayyyyy.

What does it mean to be a revolutionary? Someone who questions the way things are and refuses to conform and wages a movement, rebellion or uprising against the system can be described as a revolutionary. To think critically and to think outside the box (the box being society) has always been rare and very few people have had the audacity to question things and rise up against the system even at the risk of their own safety and perhaps relative privilege.

People who think radically and dare question the establishment are risking scrutiny, punishment, social exclusion among other things. Many movements are led by individuals who have outcaste naks but very often they're unable to amass support and remain lone wolves in the fringes of society disconnected or disillusioned by it all.

Karl Marx, Bharani Sun & Moon, Dhanishta Rising, Mars in Punarvasu atmakaraka (also his chart ruler) and Ketu in Swati

Marx, whose critique of materialism and capitalism are still valid today lived and died in the 19th century but he foresaw the directions things would head in and literally its only gotten worse. He had his Sun & Moon in an outcaste nakshatra, his atmakaraka and chart ruler in Punarvasu which also experiences outcast themes, Dhanishta is Vaishya caste like Punarvasu (relative stability but not necessarily secure) and Swati is Shudra caste. Marx's early life was quite stable but his lawyer dad died when he was a teenager and since then he struggled with his finances and was often very poor and he died as a poor man as well.

Martin Luther King Jr- Mercury in Shravana (amatyakaraka), Venus in Shatabhisha (chart ruler), Bharani Rising

MLK Jr grew up during an era of racial segregation but his own family was a little better off that a lot of other African-American households at the time since his father was a church minister. Both him and his father spoke openly against racial segregation and demanded civil rights (including equal voting rights) for African-Americans. Like Marx who had spent the majority of his adult life in poverty and then criticized materialism & capitalism since he knew first hand what a life without safety nets looked like, MLK Jr experienced the cruelty and horrors of racial discrimination and rose against the system to demand better for himself and his people.

Mahatma Gandhi- Hasta Sun, Ashlesha Moon, Chitra Rising with Venus & Mars in Vishaka (amatyakaraka) and Ketu in Shravana

Gandhi was an anti-colonial nationalist who protested through non-violent movements. He grew up in a moderately well off family and studied in London and it was only later in life when he was working as a lawyer in South Africa and personally experienced discrimination due to his skin colour and ethnicity that he began to question all things British Empire. He had an arranged marriage at the age of 13 and as an adult he was staunchly opposed to the practice.

Nelson Mandela- Punarvasu Sun, Vishaka Moon, Mula Rising, Mercury conjunct Saturn in Ashlesha

All of these are either lower caste or out-caste nakshatras

Mandela spent 27 years in prison and then became the first President of South Africa. Mandela's early life was a relatively sheltered one as his father was a counsel to the monarch but then later lost his position. It was only in his adulthood as a law student that he had become "politicized" by witnessing the unfairness of the apartheid regime.

Che Guevera- Krittika Sun, Shatabhisha Moon, Venus in Bharani, Mars & Rising in UBP, Saturn in Jyeshta atmakaraka (and chart ruler) and Ketu in Jyeshta

Che grew up in an upper class family and was studying medicine at university when he went on a motorcycle journey, initially through his home country of Argentina and later through other parts of Latin America like Chile, Colombia, Ecuador etc and it was on this journey that he witnessed the suffering of people from poverty, hunger and disease and decided to leave medicine and pursue armed struggle to help them. He has a combination of low caste and outcaste nakshatras but his Sun is in a Brahmin nakshatra and his Mars & Rising are in UBP which is a Kshatriya or warrior nak which is interesting because Che never experienced poverty or discrimination in his life unlike all the people I've mentioned above and he believed armed struggle was the way to help people (that's the Warrior caste nak energy for u).

Arne Naess, Shravana Sun, Bharani moon & saturn (amatyakaraka) and Rohini Rising was a Norwegian philosopher and environmentalist. He coined the term "deep ecology" and is a very important figure in the environmental movement that originated in the late 20th century. He was an avid mountaineer and wrote most of his works in a mountain hut which significantly shaped his view of ecology and environment.

Again, we see how someone's experiences lead them to having the beliefs they do. I am not saying someone who hasn't had first hand experience of something cannot use their intellect to form an opinion about it (to support or not to support) but when its your lived experience you don't have the luxury of being detached from it which is why I emphasize this throughout the post. How the lived experiences of outcaste nak natives forces them to be radicals and revolutionaries.

Ted Kaczynski, Krittika Sun, Ashlesha Moon & Rising, Venus in Revati (exalted), Mars in Punarvasu & Ketu in Shatabhisha

I include him as a kind of cautionary tale because like I said before not every person who holds revolutionary ideas will be hailed as a hero.

Ted had a genius level IQ of 167 (higher than Einstein) and he graduated highschool at 16. He skipped 6th grade and by his own admission he felt very isolated among peers who were older than him. He later went to Harvard and then got his Masters & PhD (all in Math) from University of Michigan.

At Harvard, he spent 200 hours over the course of 3 years in Henry Murray's brutal psychology experiment along with many other students. Murray worked for US Intelligence and conducted mind-control experiments (suspected to be Project MK Ultra) of which this was a part. At the age of 25, he started teaching at Berkeley before quitting 3 years later in 1969 and spending the next 25 years living in an isolated cabin in the woods in Montana. Between 1978 and 1995, Kaczynski mailed or hand-delivered a series of increasingly sophisticated bombs that cumulatively killed three people and injured 23 others. He was captured and arrested and sentenced in life in prison where he committed suicide.

He had written a manifesto called "Industrial Society and its Future" where he said:

"The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race." He wrote that technology has had a destabilizing effect on society, has made life unfulfilling, and has caused widespread psychological suffering. Kaczynski argued that most people spend their time engaged in ultimately unfulfilling pursuits because of technological advances; he called these "surrogate activities", wherein people strive toward artificial goals, including scientific work, consumption of entertainment, political activism, and following sports teams. He predicted that further technological advances would lead to extensive and ultimately oppressive forms of human control, including genetic engineering, and that human beings would be adjusted to meet the needs of social systems rather than vice versa. Kaczynski stated that technological progress can be stopped, in contrast to the viewpoint of people who he said understand technology's negative effects yet passively accept technology as inevitable. He called for a revolution to force the collapse of the worldwide technological system, and held a life close to nature, in particular primitivist lifestyles, as an ultimate ideal.

I feel like most people today will agree with his views but that said Ted was a terrorist who hurt many people and I do NOT condone violence at all. His approach was flawed to say the least but his thinking and ideology is very radical.

He was a socially isolated genius for most of his life and couldn't conceive of a different way to put his ideas forth or head some kind of counter cultural movement, instead he killed people.

Having outcaste Nakshatras (Vishahka, Ashlesha, Shravana, Bharani) can be a very challenging experience because you feel isolated, outside the system, where belonging isn't even a possibility and feel like people always reject you/dislike you/are threatened by you and you haven't even done anything. Its easy to see how these experiences can be very demoralising and make SOME individuals prone to cruel retaliation.

Octavia Butler- Ardra Sun, Ashlesha Moon (atmakaraka), Punarvasu mercury & Rising with Jupiter in Vishaka chart ruler (and amatyakaraka)

She's known as the mother of Afrofuturism and used science fiction to explore what was wrong with society.

Parable of the Sower is the first of the two-book Earthseed/Parable series. Set in a future society that has been ravaged by climate change and economic stratification, its heroine is a young woman living in a gated community who suffers from "hyperempathy" which makes her feel the pain of anyone around her. When her home is destroyed, she leads a group to found a new community, Earthseed. It was published in 1993 but it literally sounds like a prophecy of what was to come.

Her chart is filled with Shudra & Mleccha/Outcaste nakshatras along with Punarvasu Rising which is a Vaishya nakshatra that experiences social exclusion and literally the plot itself is so rooted in all of these themes from being an outsider to being hyperempathetic to founding a new community.

Christopher Hitchens- Aswini Sun, Chitra Moon & Ketu with Venus in Revati atmakaraka and Mars in Revati amatyakaraka

Hitchens has criticized just about everybody under the sun, including war criminals like Kissinger who were and are hailed as heroes. But that said his cause was never personal per se (Sun & Moon in Vaishya naks) he was merely criticizing the establishment because of the faults he found with it.

Howard Zinn- Magha Sun, Uttaraphalguni Moon, Mars in Jyeshta atmakaraka

He was a well known anti-war activist and socialist intellectual who has written extensively on the civil rights movement. He was a bombardier during WW2 and these experiences subsequently made him anti-war. He has a combination of Shudra, Kshatriya and Vaishya nakshatras and they really reflect in his life experiences as he grew very poor to parents who were immigrants and factory workers, later went to war and then became a staunch critic of it and of the system itself. Although he's experienced all of it, he spent most of his life as a professor and public intellectual who criticised it, that was his path.

In the movie The Matrix, Neo is believed to be The One who will end the war between humans and the machines and has the ability to manipulate The Matrix. The movie itself is laden with Punarvasu themes all throughout but what I found particularly interesting is the fact that Laurence Fishburne & Carrie Ann Moss who play Morpheus & Trinity respectively and who believe Neo is The One are both Purvabhadrapada Moons. Neo is ofc played by Punarvasu Moon native Keanu Reeves.

Although others are skeptical about his abilities, Neo has the backing of two PBP native which is to say, the people at the very top of the hierarchy. Punarvasu's outcast themes manifest throughout the movie, especially since Neo was not an original part of the crew, instead a hacker they happened to find and now believe to be "The One".

A little random but the K-drama Vagabond is a very interesting anti-establishment story (its full of a lot of plot twists and I don't want to give anything away) but it stars Bae Suzy who is Hasta Sun, Mula Moon and Vishaka Stellium (including Venus in Vishaka atmakaraka and Jupiter in Vishaka amatyakaraka) and Lee Seung Gi who is Uttarashada Sun & Ardra Moon

If you watch the show (SPOILER ALERT) you'll know that they're both fighting the system from the inside and the outside, Suzy's Hasta- Vaishya nak allowing her some access into the system although she becomes increasingly disillusioned as time goes and then finally realizing the truth and being cast out (Vishaka-outcaste) Seung Gi's character was already on the outside (Ardra is Shudra caste or lower caste) and then he opts for armed struggle (Uttarashada is warrior caste).

Back to something I mentioned at the beginning of the post about how Exalted Moon natives are content to the point of decay and how debilitated moon makes a native discontent and constantly striving to improve things. I felt the need to say this in relation to outcaste nakshatras because all of the people mentioned above have been through A LOT in life, including long prison terms, abuse, discrimination, violence etc, they have endured SO much and since they're on this post, most of them are remembered for their valor and perseverance and for having dared to question the status quo, demand better and change the world.

So we know that it takes someone of extremely strong resolve and inner strength to endure the things they have and come out of it with the hope that things can still change.

It reminded me of something Sirius Black says in Prisoner of Azkaban to Harry about how he didn't go insane in Azkaban where the dementors suck out every happy thought you have. He said this:

"I think the only reason I never lost my mind is that I knew I was innocent. That wasn't a happy thought, so the dementors couldn't suck it out of me...but it kept me sane and knowing who I am...helped me keep my powers...'

A radical or revolutionary thinks similarly. Interestingly enough Gary Oldman who played Sirius has UBP Sun, Revati Moon & Ardra Rising (Revati & Ardra are both Shudra caste naks)

Shudra which is the lowest caste and Outcaste naks are allies and although there are differences in the broader themes among these naks, there is a sense of comrade-ship as well.

Idk if I should share this anecdote at all but I had a friend when I was younger who was Ashlesha Moon she was othered at home and at school/college and felt very socially isolated. She often spoke about how she does not feel like she's a part of society at all and as a result of it she felt very disconnected from social happenings. It was always strange to me when she spoke about some current event that directly affected us as something super abstract or theoretical but in hindsight I feel like its because everything was impersonal for her and she never saw herself as a participant in society :(

That's it for now, I'll add more examples when I find them

[mayaflowerxs]

hi hun, if you dont mind can you make a fic of jaemin being all crazy for y/n but it starts off with them just sexting n dry humping till he goes all crazy for her. btw! i loved the affair series would love to see dream ver. :)

CRAZY IN LOVE

Synopsis: It was stupid really, you were bored and treated the app as a joke. You just never would have thought the man you began sexting would be your best friends boyfriend and at that an obsession beginning to develop.

Warning: Smut / Fluffish? / Angst . Swear word usage, Serious!Jaemin x Shy!Reader. Toxic relationship, pick me best friend, cheating,TW! mention of suicide, conflicted feelings. Reader is a bit of a push over + character development. Takes place in college. Blue: Jaemin, Pink:Reader

A/N: Hi love! Hope you enjoy and thank u sm! I haven’t considered making one for dream but maybe after I’m done I may think about it!

Pairing: Jaemin x fem reader

You felt like a shit person. You hate fake people, players even and yet here you are doing the very thing you despise. Being bored isn’t a good enough justification for it, your interest was peaked the second you scrolled by the app in the App Store. A cold rainy day that left you alone, cold and in the dark of your dorm. Roommate was out doing god knows what, your best friend could never really be cooped up for long. The cold rain drops fell on your window that laid beside your bed. Tiktok wasn’t interesting, no movies on any movie platform seemed to catch your focus. Wednesday playing in the background for the sake of keeping the room completely dark and silent.

‘HEARTSTRING, the best most popular app for young adults ready for a relationship!’

What harm could it be if you tried out the app right? It’s not like anything bad could really come out of it.

“And so I was like, Beverly you have to stop shitting around and like fucking cut the chord. He’s not interested in you anymore. I mean yeah have we been having a bit of flirty banter here and there, sure but-“

The chitter chatter of his girlfriend talking his ear off began to muffle as Jaemin focuses his attention on his cell phone. He wasn’t exactly in the best mood, it’s fucking cold outside. His thick jacket he brought with now currently wrapped around his girlfriend because of the refusal she had to bring her own. Currently sitting inside a vegan restaurant and a $50 dish that isn’t all that appetizing and fulfilling. With an hour worth of talking of all the boring shit his girlfriend has to ramble about, he feels it’s the least bit understandable he’s decided to do something he wants to do. Be on his phone.

His social battery only down by its last percentage, a small frown on his face as he scrolls through his feed. Boring and bland, only a small story of Jeno’s in which him and the boys were currently playing the newest game. Months and months of hyping it up, waiting for its release and Jaemin is wasting his time on his 30th date. By now, his bank account is about ready to burst. A cry for help he swears he hears each time he picks up his wallet. Stopping midway scroll when an ad appears, ‘HEARTSTRING!’

Taking a quick glance up at his girlfriend and sees she’s still rambling on about girl drama as she continues to take pictures of her salad and posting them online. To say his relationship with Nayoung was perfect would be the furthest from the truth. If anything, he still doesn’t quite understand how he managed to get in the relationship in the first place. What was suppose to be a quick fling, resulted in Nayoung telling the entire school they were together. Her parents were quick in wanting to get to meet him, a very serious talk from her father had chills running up his arms. “Don’t you even dare hurt my little girl. You don’t know what I’m capable of son.” He’s tried to think of ways to get out of that situation but it’s only gotten worse when Nayoung got in touch with his parents. The thrill look on their faces when they were told their oldest son was finally in a committed relationship. Jaemin felt that maybe he would always be stuck.

And if that was the case, he might as well still have fun if he can’t walk away from her.

Setting up your account came to be really easy. You plan to delete the app by the end of the night, you’re not looking for something seriously and so far the app itself doesn’t look that serious either. It seemed everything was anonymous for the most part. With only using real descriptions and names, not personal pictures are to be added and instead icons. An app for anonymous chatting. For a while it seemed it was a scam, nothing good was happening other than the constant liking of each profile that propped up for you. You weren’t looking for anything specific, you just wanted to have a conversation and just as you were about to log out and delete it. A notification popped up.

na.jaemin0813 is typing…

Hey

Hello…

Did you get the app out of boredom as well?

It’s like we’re one mind

Guess we were meant to be ;)

Haha cheeky

You know it babe

So tell me, what’s your favorite conspiracy theory you can discuss for hours

Ooh getting serious are we?

Chatting with Jaemin didn’t seem so bad. In fact, you’ve come to enjoy your conversation with him, you didn’t expect it to go on longer than anticipated.

“Y/n im home!” You hear your best friend say as she closes the door behind her. Turning off your phone before you can receive the next message Jaemin was about to send you, a figure appears by your door way. “I’m fucking exhausted.” She huffs as she drops the many bags of clothes. A pout on her face as she slumps her shoulders. “Can you make me food, i am in a serious need of a bath.” “I still have some of my left over chicken Alfredo in the fridge-“ “You know I don’t eat left overs.” She makes a disgusted look, “Please! I’ll owe you.” She smiles before wandering off to her room. “You already owe me.” You mumble before getting out of bed and into the kitchen. The running water is heard a few minutes later with the sound of music playing soon afterwards. As you let the water boil for the pasta, you get back on your phone.

Where have you gone darling?

Already missing me ?

Given you’re someone who isn’t all that dry, who wouldn’t be?

So am I safe to assume you haven’t had great chats recently?

You’re the only one who hasn’t made the entire conversation about themselves and the many inconveniences in their lives

Ugh, those people are the worst.

The loud obnoxious singing of your best friend is what interrupted your conversation with him. Focusing back on her dinner as she spent the next hour an a half in the bath.

A sigh escapes Jaemin as he waits for the three dots to appear before exiting out of the app and moving on. The loud yelling of the guys are heard as he enters his dormitory. Busying themselves on whatever video game they’ve bought lately, “On your right!” Haechan exasperates. Taking the seat next to him, Jaemin had kicked off his shoes and rested them on top of the coffee table. “Oh you’re back!” He hears Jisung’s voice as soon as he entered the small living room. “Were you in my room?“. Shrugging his shoulders, he lifts up the cup of ramen in his hand. “You stash them in your room, finally found them.” “Yeah it’s exactly why I stashed them.” He shakes his head, hearing a notification from his phone he lifts it up only to frown when he sees it was Nayoung.

“I’m guessing the date didn’t go well?” Jisung asks. “She’s so high maintenance.” He sighs before closing his eyes and rubs his temple. “Why don’t you break up with her?” Haechan asks him, half of his attention on the flat screen tv. “Because if I break up with her, her father will break my face I thought I told you already?” “Oh right- move you fuck!” Getting off the couch, Jaemin walks over to the kitchen table and takes a seat keeping the maknae company.

Lets go out tomorrow!

Shutting his phone off, Jaemin doesn’t bother responding back. Mentally and socially drained to respond. “I’ll be in my room.” He murmurs not bothering to get a response back. The door to his room gets closed behind him, falling on his bed as he feels himself about to drowse off until he hears another notification go off.

So do you study?

Third year in college :)

Really? Where?

Seoul National University.

No way really? I go there too!

We should get together sometime.

Already desperate to get to know me?

Yeah well, I’d like to be able to see the face I’m talking to instead of a screen.

Mm I don’t know…

Oh come on, are you gonna make me work for it?

Yep

Meanie :(

As the days went by the two of you have constantly texted the other. To the point people began to notice, “why are you always on your phone?” You best friend half heartedly asked one day, on her own as she busies scrolling through her feed. Eyes rolling when she sees one of her ‘friends’ post a picture. “Told her she looked ugly in that photo, can’t believe she still posted it. Eh, A+ for confidence i guess.”

Peeking over her screen she frowns when she notices you didn’t even bother answering her question. Instead, a smile on your face as you continue to text Jaemin. It’s been an entire week since you downloaded the app, an entire week since you began texting Jaemin and a week since you’ve been this lonely looking person. It made Nayoung wonder, you were never this preoccupied with your phone. If anything you never used it mainly because you didn’t have much going other than movies and tiktok. But this, no this can’t be a romcom or TikTok’s doing. “Oh my god!”

Jumping back startled, you look at her shocked face. “You’re seeing someone!” Scoffing, you shake your head and set your phone down. “Am not.” “So why did you set your phone facing down. Mphm?” “I always do that.” Stopping momentarily, Nayoung can’t tell if you were telling the truth. Unlike you, she isn’t that observant, she can’t even remember your birthday and only hopes she hasn’t missed it yet. “Don’t change the subject! Now tell me, who is it.” “No one-“ Poking you with her chopsticks, she leans closer. “Now, now it’s been AGES since your last relationship and we both know how that ended. Just want to see how this one’s like” A small pang was felt in your heart, you didn’t like to remember it. Your last boyfriend only used you to get closer to Nayoung. It hurt to know he didn’t even like you not once throughout your relationship. Broken up with him and getting the reassurance from your best friend is what got you through it.

“He’s not like that-“ “Aha! So you are seeing someone!” Sighing, you smile shyly at her. “Not really seeing if I have never met him. We only started texting each other. It’s only been a week.” You say with a small smile. A ding is heard and you were quick to check, a small chuckle escapes you and you’re entire focus was now back on your phone. You miss the small scowl your best friend has on her face. She wondered who this boy was, how is it that you didn’t tell her when all of this was happening? A bitterness began to bubble inside of her but she keeps it on the low and instead grabs the dishes and puts them in the sink.

“I’m going out, me and Jaemin got a date.” She says loud enough for you to hear her. “K have fun.” You say lowly, eyes still on your screen. Giving you one last glance, she makes her way out.

“Jaemin, are you even paying attention to me?” She huffs annoyedly at her boyfriend. “Of course I am.” He quickly typed out his last text before looking up at her. Rolling her eyes, she huffs and crosses her arms. “Is this how you’re gonna be when you visit my parents?” “Visit?” “Of course, mom has been wanting you to come visit and so I promised her the next time I fly out I’d take you with me! My friend will be coming too of course, poor thing can’t see her parents. It’s this whole drama thing she’s got going on.” She shrugs. Great another weekend ruined.

“Alright see you then.” A grin forms on her face, leaning in for a kiss before she was long gone to do shopping with her friends. Rolling his eyes, Jaemin sits back on his bed and unlocks his phone. His finger hovered over the contact. He wondered what you were up to, he was bored and a little moody that you haven’t texted him yet. Scrolling through your last few messages that he’s noticed have gotten more flirtier over the course of time.

Whatcha doin?

Why, you miss me? :(

Don’t be a brat.

You love it

And you love teasing me smh

Still mad…?

You sent a pic of your boobs while I was in the middle of class

I had blue balls for the rest of the hour

So you don’t want more?

I want you.

Aw what a cutie

I’m not cute I’m hot

Would you like to see?

Photo Sent

The text messages progressively got more flirty, from pictures of abs and cleavages. You made sure your face was no where in view of the camera. You don’t know where this confidence came from. You never sent such pictures before, and yet never would you have thought to begin sexting a stranger you met online.

Fuck y/n, I need to see you.

I’m sure your hand can keep you company

Fucking meanie

;)

“Y/n! I need help packing I just bought new clothes and I need your help making an outfit out of them!” You hear Nayoung enthusiastically shout as she enters the dorm. Slamming the door behind you, opening the camera app you take one last pictures of your chest down, wearing a black corset with a push-up bra you notice Jaemin swoons over. Sending it before shutting your phone off.

A huff is heard as you watch Nayoung drop down all her bags filled with clothes. “Okay tomorrow morning we should be heading down to my fathers cabin alright?” Nodding, she leads you to her room. Two large suitcases are taken out of her closet as she begins taking down all her clothes from the hangers. Looking at herself through the body mirror as she makes distasteful noises each time she comes across an article of clothing she no longer likes.

Do you like torturing me?

Are you fisting yourself rn?

Kinda have no other choice…

Good, go faster for me will ya?

It’ll send you another picture of me. Maybe something more revealing…

“Y/n? You listening?” “Yeah!” Looking from her bed, a large pile of clothes as she poses in the mirror. She peeked through her mirror to see how engrossed you were with your phone. A small frown as she still doesn’t know much about this guy you’ve met. “Beige or cream?” Showing you a scarf she plans to wear, she pretend to think. “Cream, doesn’t wear out your face.” Smiling, she turns around and continues to check herself out. “So who exactly will be going?” Hearing the sound of another text coming from Jaemin, you take a peek to see he had sent a picture of his own.

“Oh just my parents, some childhood friends and my boyfriend. “ “Speaking of boyfriend, will I be meeting this boy you’ve been messaging?” She wiggles her brows. “Nope, I still haven’t met him yet.” You chuckle. “Huh..” she breathes out before posing in front of the mirror. “So how are things with your boyfriend?” you ask. “Things are great! I’m so happy to be with him, he’s so sweet look he even got me this necklace.” Showing you the Diamond necklace you nod, you didn’t know much about this guy. If anything you never met him. It’s ironic how much she’s mentioned him and yet has never said his name. You don’t know how old he is, how he looks. Just that he goes to the same college as the two of you. Nayoung has even tried her best to keep him from entering your dorm. For whatever reason it is, she doesn’t want him coming over. A bit secretive with him really.

“Okay are you packed?” Nodding she smiles. “God you’re so lucky, you don’t have a lot of clothes to choose.” She sighs “ Well, I better get to finishing you don’t have to help me anymore thanks.” Grabbing your phone you close the door to your room behind you and lock it. A gasp escapes you, eyes widening at the nude he sent.

You don’t beat around the bush do ya?

Gotta show you how much you’re affecting me

Cute

My dick is cute?

Your dick looks delicious actually

Then how about you come over n suck it

Yeah but I love torturing you so keep fucking your hand for now.

Damn woman

Jaemin shut off his phone after he seen you left him on read. He was frustrated. Sexually frustrated, it’s humiliating knowing how affected he is by you. He doesn’t care he’s currently humping his pillow pretending it’s you. Chest heaving, a sweaty forehead as he chases after his release. Never has he had to work for someone this much. He would’ve given up and moved on but how could he, something about you entices him. Makes his want more, to go after you no matter the cost. He loves your banter, he loves how much you tease it keeps him on his toes. His hand going faster and faster until finally he felt the warm white liquid fall on his fingers. In the corner of his dark room, he catches his breath. Receiving another message but only groaning when he sees it’s Nayoung.

Can’t wait for tomorrow!

To say you weren’t cranky would be a lie. You knew you’d be getting up early you just underestimated how early. Nayoung isn’t a morning person and to think she would be demanding you to get up at 3 in the morning was the last thing on your mind of possibilities. Sitting in the back of the car as Nayoung claimed she would be picking up her boyfriend on the way. You didn’t mind, if anything you’d be taking the time to catch up on some needed sleep. A large blanket over you, you don’t hear the door to the passenger seat open and close. A smack of lips kissing and a cheerful voice greeting him.

“Is this your friend?” Nodding, she looks back to see you asleep. “Yep, she went back to sleep. She spent all night texting some guy. Kinda starting to think he doesn’t exist.” Raising a brow at her as she whispered the last part. “Whys that?” Shrugging her shoulders, eyes on the road. “She hasn’t mentioned his name, refuses to let me meet him and anytime I ask about him she tries to change the subject.” Jaemin only hums before looking out the window, dark eye bags beginning to become apparent as he too wasn’t exactly in the best mood. His hair was still a bit disheveled and he was only running on two hours of sleep. Guess his girlfriends friend wasn’t the only one up all night texting.

By the time the three of you arrived, you woke up abruptly by the slamming of a door. “Come on y/n we’re here!” You hear Nayoung shout from outside. Stretching and getting out, you’re left with carrying in the rest of the stuff. The cabin was large, only visited a handful of times. Loud voices are heard from the kitchen as Nayoung busies herself greeting the family. Huffing when you drop Nayoung’s heavy luggage inside you bump into someone on accident. “I’m sorry!” Tall and standing before you, Jaemin props his glasses up. Dropping down his bags and sending you a forced smile. “It’s alright.”

“Oh y/n! This is my boyfriend Jaemin!” The two of you freeze. Watching as she walks over to hook her arm around his. A grin on her face as she cuddles close to him. It couldn’t be right? Looking over and seeing he as well seemed tense but he kept a calm face. “H-Hello.” Giggling, she shakes her head. “Always so shy. Jaemin?” Nudging him, he seems to snap out of it. Clearing his throat before doing a quick half assed bow. “Hey.” Looking between the two of you, she makes a face. “Well that wasn’t awkward, anyways. Mom and dad wants to see you so shall we get going? Oh and y/n sorry we didn’t have enough rooms you don’t mind crashing on the couch right?” Shaking your head she smiles. “Great! You can leave your things in my room, you know where they are right?”

Not waiting for a response she drags him into the kitchen where it erupts in greetings. Laughs and giggles are heard, taking a small peek you see her friends are also in there as well. Gawking at him as he respectfully greets them. Sighing, you grab your things and go up the stairs. “Hey y/n do you mind carrying the rest of our luggages? Please, thank you!” Nayoung shouts as you were half way up the stairs.

You felt left out you weren’t going to lie. But then again, when haven’t you. Nayoung has always made it easy to fit in, to make conversation even though most of the time the topic always shifted over to her but overall, it was easy for her to get involved. Not you, it took a while for you to barely start lowering your walls. Just the idea of forcing yourself out of your shell sends shivers. How can you? You get the feeling Nayoung’s childhood friends don’t really like you as they always stare and mutter things under their breaths. And like all the other times you visited, you spent your time on the couch petting the family cat. “I’m so happy he likes you. He hates people, if anything he still isn’t quite fond of Nayoung.” Her mother giggles as she takes the other couch. Staring lovingly at the two of you. A warm smile forms on your face as you continue to pet the cat sitting on your lap. Her husband walking over to sit next to her, a mug in his hand as he nods.

“Toby hates Nayoung for some reason. Even before she went off to college he’d always hide from her.” By then everyone has shifted themselves into the living room. The group surrounding Nayoung, the smile slowly drops when she sees her parents conversing with you. “You must be a gem if Toby trusts you that much.” Her mother claps her hands. Jaemin takes a seat across from you, fighting back the look of boredom on his face. He can’t help but analyze you. Can it be the same y/n he’s been texting? Since he’s arrived, he hasn’t had the balls to text her. There’s no way the chick he’s been sexting is his girlfriends best friend. If that’s the case, he’s screwed.

A scoff is heard from beside him, looking up and see Nayoung enter the living room. “He’s just a dumb cat. I’m sure he’s only using you as a cushion.” “Well if that’s the case, I’m honored.” You smile down at the cat who purrs. Jaemin notices the scowl on his girlfriends face. He wonders why, it’s not like she particularly likes Toby. Every time he’s come over she’s always going on and on about how the cat terrorizes everything. “You should be, and Jaemin too! Toby loves him!” Looking up and meeting eyes with Jaemin you gulp before looking down. A silence is met before Nayoung speaks up. “Well it’s still pretty early and I’m tired. Jaemin lets go to bed.” One by one, everyone walks off to their bedrooms which leaves you on the couch with the grey and white cat. Head butting your hand, a few hours go by and you haven’t gotten the heart to move him. The sleep drowsiness has disappeared and you made due on being on your phone for the time being. A notification is sent from your phone, Jaemin.

It’s you isn’t it?

I don’t know what you’re talking about..

“Yes you do.” Jumping up, you see him standing at the bottom of the stairs. “Holy shit you scared me.” By the sudden jolt, Toby has taken it upon himself to get off your lap and plop down on his cat tree. Walking closer to you, you shift uncomfortably. You don’t know what to do, what can you do to make things better?

Silently getting closer, you open your mouth to explain yourself but he cuts you off. Instead he takes a seat besides you and smashes his lips on top of yours. A moan emits from you, it was quick and needy and you liked it. You liked it so much you even climbed on top of him. His arms coming around your waist to pull you closer. He smelled nice, his cologne hitting your nostrils and lips were soft and plump. Cupping his face to keep his lips on top of yours. A smile forming on his face before pulling away, “So you were the one teasing me huh?” A blush began to form on your face before awkwardly laughing. “So you’re my best friends boyfriend huh.” Clearing his throat he looks down uncomfortably. “Listen, I’m not the type to cheat okay? It’s just that I kinda had no choice but to be in a relationship with her and-“

“She trapped you yeah I know, she has done that with all of her exes.” Raising a brow he looks up at you. “Really?” Nodding, you sigh. “She can’t keep a man for the life of her so she forces one on them by using her father to get them to agree. He’s rich and powerful, wouldn’t be surprised he’d have you kicked out of college or have you be fired from your job. Blacklisted for any future opportunities and more.” “If I’d known earlier I would’ve tried avoiding crossing paths. Why are you friends with her?”

“I don’t know, I guess she was the only one who stayed.” “Stayed? What happened if I may ask.” “I don’t know, one second I had tons of friends who could rely on me and the next, I was hated.” You look down sadly. Startled when he plants a kiss on your cheek, a grin on his face as his eyes adoringly stare at you. “I’m glad I finally met you.” “I’m glad too-“. Reciprocating his kiss, you begin to grind on top of him. A groan from him only has you doing it again and again. Pushing him down on the couch as his hands roam all over your body. Piece by piece, clothes are scattered on the floor and heavy breathing gets louder. Your head is thrown back when you feel yourself stretch around him. A large hand going to cover your mouth. Leaning in, his mouth attaching itself onto your nipple and sucking. Sensitive, you begin to bounce on his lap. Hands on his chest as he guides you to go faster. Trying to keep the slapping sounds at bay. The feeling of him deep in your snatch had your head spinning, it truly has been a while since you’ve had sex. It was wrong that the first person you sleep with is your best friends boyfriend but you just love it so much.

And it seems you’re not the only one. For the remainder of the weekend the two of you have gotten closer. Sneaky glances thrown and secret meet ups. When in the kitchen alone, he smacks your ass before leaving a kiss on your cheek. A shit eating grin on his face when he meets with the others. Content he’s finally getting you back for all the teasing you’ve done. “Are you alright y/n? Your face is super red?” Nayoung’s mother says. “Probably a bad reaction to one of her creams. I keep telling her she doesn’t have to keep putting on so many products. Going natural is just as pretty.” Nayoung sends you a smile. Speaking up for you, a strong grip on your fork, you don’t bother to explain yourself. “I’m okay.”

Jaemin certainly didn’t like it. And he certainly didn’t like how easily you let her comment slide. “I try to say the same thing to you as well Nayoung. No reason you need fifty bottles of foundation. A day or two without it wouldn’t hurt babe.” He sends her a smile before taking a bite from his food. Tensing, Nayoung is left without words. Embarrassed by the looks her friends sends her. A scowl on her face as she desperately tries to change the subject. “So! Should we hit the beach later on?” “Yes!” Her friends clap. “Okay good! After we’re done we’ll pick out our bikinis!”

Bikini’s? Nayoung never mentioned there would be swimming involved? You didn’t even pack any clothes to get wet in. The closest thing you had were shorts and even then they weren’t comfortable to get wet with.

“It’s a bummer you can’t get in.” Nayoung pouts at you, watching you set your towel on the sand. Sunglasses on as you send her a reassuring smile. “Eh it’s okay, I’ve gotten too much sun anyways-“. “Yeah you’re looking a little dark, how about you stay under my moms umbrella for the time being okay? Hope you don’t get too bored!” She says before scurrying off to her friends. Clenching your jaw, you try to not let her words affect you. Has she always been this snakey? Or is this you trying to justify your actions for hooking up with her boyfriend. Surely she must’ve always been this terrible to you from the beginning.

“Come on.” “Huh?” Looking over and seeing Jaemin has his hand extended you raise a brow. “Where?” “Less questions and more walking, come on.” Allowing him to drag you away, he takes you to a near by store. “Bikini’s?” “Get one, it’s on me.” “You don’t need to-“ “I want to, besides I need to get sunscreen.” He wonders off for it, and as he does so you look around the store. Eyes straying on a red two piece, you go to the fitting rooms and liking the look of it on you. Getting out, Jaemin freezes when he sees you. “How do I look?” Checking to see if anyones watching, he pushes you inside and closes the door behind him. Dropping the bottle of sun cream and picking you up. Leaning you up against the wall he desperately connects your lips with his. Running a hand through his hair, he begins to dry hump you. A moan comes out of you that he muffled with his mouth. A hand coming to wrap around your neck and lightly squeeze. “Fuck you’re so hot.” His pupils dilated as he leans in and press kisses to your chest.

Pulling the top down to reveal your perky tits. Sucking and fondling with them, looking to the side and seeing the mirror reflecting the lewd actions he’s doing. “We should get going, don’t want to raise suspicion.” You tell him with heavy breathing. Reluctantly detaching himself from you and setting you down. “Don’t change.” Grabbing your clothes and lotion, the two of you walk out and make your way to the counter. Ripping off the tag and handing it to the cashier as he pays for it. By the time the two of you make your way back, you hear shouting. “Babe where have you been?” Nayoung gets closer. “Needed sunscreen and got y/n a bathing suit.” Eyes turning to look at you, the plastic smile ready to falter. “Oh! How nice..well come on let’s get in the water feels nice!” She goes for his hand but he takes a step back.

“Yeah I will in a bit, you should join the others they seem pretty lost with out you.” Looking back and seeing her friends looking bored without her. “Oh okay. Glad you can join us after all y/n.” She sends you a smile before going back in. Feeling a tug, you look down and see Jaemin had taken his shirt off. “Help me put sunscreen on yeah?”

You can practically feel the daggers being thrown at you. But you ignored it, you liked making her jealous. A part of you felt proud you had the upper hand than Nayoung. Even more that it’s with her boyfriend. Turning around, you put some on his chest. Running your hands over his abs, his eyes looking directly into yours. “I really badly need to fuck you.” Rolling your eyes, you go to walk away but he stops you. “Now y/n.”

“Are you seeing this?” One of Nayoung’s friends says as they all watch Jaemin slowly put on sunscreen on you. Going up your leg and too close to your ass. “I knew it was a mistake to introduce them.” She scoffs. “Come on hun, do you really think he’ll do anything with her?” “It’s not him I’m worried, poor girl is so deprived I worry she’ll do anything for attention.” She pouts. “Don’t worry, Jaemin’s too smitten for you. He’d never be unfaithful to you.” Smiling she turns over to her friends. “Thanks guys, besides we’re really strong.” “So strong that should we assume he’ll pop the question anytime soon?”

Nodding they squeal. “I’m sure he already has the ring set out for me.” She claps her hands.

“Jaemin anyone can walk in on us any second!” You smack Jaemin’s bicep, currently in a dark small closet the cabin had he had managed to cramped you two inside. It was loud outside, music blasting as the others conversed with one another. Luggages were being packed and dinner was being cooked. In a few hours you were meant to be making your way back home and instead, have a clingy boy stuck to your side. A grin on his face as he leans in and kisses you. “Need you…” he pouts as he nuzzles his face in the crook of your neck. Hands beginning to roam down your side and to your back. Biting your lip when you feel him squeeze your ass, gasping when you feel his bulge after he pulled you closer to him.

“No one will hear us mhm?” He breathes in your ear as he peppers your neck. Massaging your cheeks as he has you pinned against the wall. You can’t ignore the arousal in your pants but it didn’t stop you from worrying of being potentially caught. “No sir.” Pushing him away, you reach for the door knob. Feeling him pull you inside again roughly when Nayoung’s faint voice was heard going up the stairs. “I have no idea where he went.” She tells her friends. “I bet he’s with y/n again. They have been way too close.” “I’m sure he feels bad, I mean she is the odd one out.” Nayoung reasons. “She’s a loner Nayoung, girls like her use that to reel men in.” Clenching your jaw, you don’t notice Jaemin wrapping his arms around your waist.

“Ignore them.” He whispers into your ear. Once you were sure they had left, you don’t utter a word and merely walk out. Leaving him in the closet by himself.

Nayoung always assumed she’d be the first to seal the deal between the two of you. The first to have a boyfriend, to be engaged and to start a family. Unlike her, you didn’t grow up with a lot so she always had more than you. The advantages like starting her own independent life. You had to start from scratch, lots of hours working for you to save. It’s what the world admired about you. It’s what they respected you for, many could relate to you. And even through all the hardships you still smiled. You stayed optimistic and it’s why you had so many friends, why so many guys wanted your number instead of Nayoung’s.

“I’m sorry I’m not interested.” “Actually I wanted to see if you can give me your friend, y/n’s number.”

For a while it seemed like Nayoung was the forgotten one. It was all about her friend Y/n. What you were up to, how you were doing. She just wanted to see what the fuss was about in having so many people care about you. So the cosmetics came in, then the surgeries, the hard diets. But when they weren’t enough, the lies came in.

“Oh sure, but I have to say she’s currently going through something. Chlamydia actually.”

She didn’t mean for the lies to keep progressing but she just wanted to take some of the attention off you and divert it over to her.

“She thinks you’re a freak.”

She did feel bad though when people eventually began to hate you. And before she knew it, she was the only friend you had left. Boys avoided you and girls despised you. Your last boyfriend only cheated on you because Nayoung lied to him saying you had cheated on him.

“I guess she thought you just weren’t good enough, I don’t know what to tell you. But, if I were her I would know I made a big mistake. You’re a catch.” Her hand lays on top of his, a reassuring and innocent smile plastered on her face before leaning in and kissing him.

For years now she was finally on the other end, the one who everyone praised and idolized. And a part of her liked how she can control you, it felt nice to be better for once. And seeing how close you and Jaemin have gotten definitely hasn’t been putting her at ease.

During dinner she made sure Jaemin sat next to her and away from you. Served him and kissed him at unconventional times. By the end of the night it seemed she was utterly in love with him, which is why she just had to rub it in just a little deeper into your face. “I’m going to tell him I love him.” Taking you by surprise, you suppress any distasteful emotion. “That’s great! I’m sure he’ll feel the same.” He won’t. You’re sure of that. “I want to live with him y/n.” Widening your eyes, “Live together? But what about dorms? It’s still mandatory to be in one and you can’t exactly room with a guy.”

“Only for a few more months.” Sighing and sitting back on the couch she smiles dreamily. “I’m telling you, he’s the man of my dreams.” You didn’t have much to say. Which only made you more guilty with how you’ve been treating her behind her back. It seemed she really did like him, after all she has been stuck by your side when everyone else turned against you. “Then tell him how you feel.”

“We can’t keep doing this.”

It’s been three months since the visit to Nayoung’s parents. Three months since you said you’d stop hooking up with him and finally today you’d be calling it off. “Like hell you are, what the hell y/n. Where is this coming from?” A duvet wrapped around your body, you sit up on the bed. Messy hair with smeared makeup as you don’t even dare meet eyes with Jaemin. With only briefs on, he gets out of bed. Disheveled hair, muscles more prominent and the red marks you left on him still apparent. Lip stains on his neck with dark love marks going down his collar bone. A frown on his face as he demands an explanation, even when he’s upset he’s still breathtakingly attractive. “It’s not right.” A sarcastic laugh falls out of his mouth as he searches for his clothes.

“You’re finally realizing that after months?” Looking at you for any other answers, he drops his shirt on the bed and climbs back on. Cradling your face, he looks at you worriedly. “Talk to me baby, what’s wrong?” Feeling the tears beginning to form, you shrug him off. You don’t trust your voice, there’s a ball beginning to form and you know if you dare speak a work you’ll only sob. About to get out of bed, he grabs you by the waist. “No, you’re not running way again. Talk to me-“ “Jaemin you’re in a relationship with Nayoung! She loves you and even wants to live with you and here we are having sex!”

“She’s not you!” Looking away, he huffs and wraps his arms around your torso. “I love you.” Taken by surprise, you turn to face him with wide eyes. “Come again?” “I’ve never said that to any of my exes, and it sucks that this is the situation that we are in but, im not lying. I love you, not Nayoung. It’s why I didn’t say it back when she said it to me.”

“Really?” Smiling, he nods and leans in for a kiss you grant him happily. “I still think it’s wrong. Maybe if we confess then she will let you go. Yeah it will permanently ruin our friendship but you at least deserve your freedom.” Shaking his head he sighs. “It’s her father i’m worried for.” Feeling dejected, you let him pull you into a cuddle. Back under the sheets as he peppers your face in kisses. Until there’s a loud slam on the door, eyes widening Jaemin lifts a finger to his mouth. Your door was locked thankfully.

“Let me check if she’s home…hey y/n! You home?!” Knocking on the door and trying to open it but to no avail. Shaking his head, he covers your mouth. “Guess she’s not home.” She says, she must’ve brought someone. Getting up to change, you can’t but overhear her speak.

“Can’t believe you’re still friends with her after everything she did.” Confused, you lean your ear up gassing the door. “Well I mean, she’s my best friend-“ “Yes but she cheated on her boyfriend.”

Cheated?

“She didn’t know what she was doing.”

Why the hell is Nayoung agreeing?

“Yeah well what about her bullying you?”

You looked back at Jaemin in shock as he as well seems surprised.

“That was years ago, she’s getting better.”

You didn’t understand why Nayoung was agreeing with such false claims. You have never cheated on your boyfriend nor have you ever bullied Nayoung.

“Well at least she got her karma right?” The girl snorts. “Getting chlamydia, having all the guys lose interest in her and having no friends- well except you. I must say I admire you. I don’t know how you put up with such a mess.”

“I try my hardest.” You hear her giggle. “She’s a loner and a social freak, the least I could do is make sure she has at least a companion or who knows she might just end it all.” “Are you saying she’s suicidal?” “I’m saying who knows! You never know what people are thinking now a days.”

Your heart broke. All those accusations weren’t real and to think more people thought they were true hurt even more. You didn’t even realize you began to cry until you felt Jaemin wipe a tear away. They chatted for a few minutes before leaving and by then you have sat yourself down against the door. “Why would she lie?” You ask to no one.

Jaemin stayed quiet. Arms crossed and a clenched jaw, he immediately understood what Nayoung had done. “Isn’t it obvious?” Looking up at him with red swollen eyes you shake your head. “She spread false rumors about you!” “What why?”

“Come on baby.” Crouching down, he pulls a strand of hair behind your ear. “You’re gorgeous, sweet, smart. You’re everyone’s type.” “Are you saying she did it out of jealousy?” Scoffing you shake your head. “No, Nayoung is the pretty one. Everyone wants her.” “I don’t. I want you.” “You’re just saying that to make me feel better.” You scoff. “Okay then let’s talk to your ex.” “What why?” “Because we both know the cheater in your past relationship wasn’t you.” The memory still hurt. You never did find out who he cheated on you with only that he was ‘much happier’ and that you weren’t shit to him anymore.

“You’re wasting your time.” Shaking his head, he pulls out his phone and begins to search for his account. “What are you planning to do.” “We’re going to pay him a little visit. Come on let’s get dressed.”

“I don’t think this is such a good idea-“ Cutting you off by giving you a kiss, he gives you a smile. “Just hold my hand, he does anything to hurt you I promise I’ll kick his ass.” Walking into the cafe, you immediately spot your ex. Deep eye bags adorned his face, his hair was longer and dead. He looked much scrawnier and almost exhausted even. Taking a seat in front of you, you don’t have the words to even greet him.

“Y/n. Jaemin.” He speaks.

“What can i do for you.”

“The truth.” Jaemin cuts to the chase. Quirking his brow, he leans forward. “The truth?” “Who did you sleep with?” Jaemin tells him sternly. Scoffing, he chuckles dryly and shakes his head. “Why am I hearing an accusingly tone. Shouldn’t we start with who y/n slept with first?”

“I didn’t sleep with anyone.” You speak up.

“Right. Like I believe that-“

“Did Nayoung tell you anything.” Jaemin cut him off. “Nayoung helped me realize I was wasting my time on her.” He glares at you. “Did she tell you she was cheating?” Staying quiet, his face falls. “Why do you care?…wait aren’t you her boyfriend.” His jaw clenched and he sits up straighter.

“So you’re the guy she dumped me for.” Eyes widening, you look at him. “Nayoung was the girl you slept with?” Scoffing he shakes his head. “I didn’t sleep with her we only kissed.” He huffs. “She told me you cheated on me, she comforted me and we kissed. She had me to believe she wanted to be with me but when I broke things off with you she ghosted me.” The two of you send each other looks, “Why? Was that not what really happened?…”

You felt betrayed. You wonder how long has it been since she’s been a snake to you.

“She told me you kissed my boyfriend.”

“She said you had chlamydia.”

“I heard her say you were mentally unstable.”

You wanted to believe it was all a lie but it made sense why everyone suddenly avoided you like the plague. No one daring to befriend you or ever ask you out. You were sure you’d die a loner if it wasn’t for Nayoung and now you come to find out you were put into this situation because of her.

You couldn’t stop your heart from squeezing in agony. The friend you considered a sister you cared for so deeply had ruined your life out of what? Spite? Jealousy? Fun even?

The guilt you had building in you disintegrated almost instantly. You don’t have quite the perfect idea as to how you plan on getting even with her, how you’re going to help Jaemin get out of his god forsaken relationship with her, how you’re going to let the world know just how a trashy person she really is but you do know one thing, if you’re going to keep sleeping with her boyfriend you’re going to do it without a care in the world. Holding hands together literally behind her back when the three of you go out for ice cream, his subtle hand on your thigh when you go to the movies. The glances you give one another when you two had no other choice but to be dragged by her at a fancy restaurant with friends. Having sex in the parking lot after making an excuse to leave early. Making out while she’s showering and even sexting each other with her around. You no longer cared, and instead it made you just a tiny bit better knowing Nayoung no longer had it all,

“They completely cut me out and I don’t know why! Can you believe that?! After everything I did for them they have the audacity to treat me like dirt? And that’s not even mentioning the weird looks I’ve been receiving from guys. It’s like I’m infected or something.” No but rumors are you caught a case of syphilis

BUZZ…

Come over, I need you now.

Photo Sent

You were finally taking your life back from her. Piece by piece.

[diminuel]

psssss long time not bothering u xD

today i bring questions about ace. more specifically, your au where ace wants to be a girl sometimes!! and i know that unless im remembering it wrong its from tje same universe where luffy was raised by his dads, but luffy being luffy i assume he wouldn't tell his crewmates about his family just like in canon. so like, when they get in alabasta, im not sure the whole croco arc would still happen, but the point i want to focus on is the crew meeting ace!! and to me genderfluid ace would be chill being called by both brother and sister and luffy just switches on it randomly and wanna know what ur think the crew's reaction would be. i know they wouldn't mind ace genders and sexuality, i just mean their reaction to luffy general mess with mentioning family members and explaining anything. in my head ace would have to pull them aside for the info bit that "oh yeah i dont mind any pronouns and im sometimes a boy and sometimes a girl" bc luffy would leave them all confused

sorry if this ask is a mess i hope it makes some sense

Hello hello!

The issue with the silly universe where we get girl Ace sometimes is that nothing would quite happen like in canon most likely because the stakes are drastically lowered. How exactly I don't know *lol* But it doesn't really matter for the question at hand.

A part of me believes that Ace wouldn't feel the need to explain anything that wasn't important. So the only question that would be relevant to him in particular might be "why does Luffy keep calling you his big brother" with the implication being that to them it's obvious that Ace is a girl.

He would probably explain that their Auntie Iva has devil fruit powers and can change people's gender. Ace has been Luffy's big bro for over 10 years before he first asked Iva, so it stuck. He changes based on what he feels like (and if he can get to Iva, because it's a bit of a journey).

As to reactions of the crew. I think Zoro would probably just take note of it without comment (though me being me I think we should send Zoro to Iva too *lol*), Nami and Usop would be quite amazed, Chopper would be very excited about what Iva can do and how to combine medicine and devil fruit powers to help people. Sanji's probably heard that Iva is the Queen of a kingdom of maidens and passed out with a nosebleed.

Vivi might know Ace already if this was an AU where the Monkey kids sometimes hang out in Alabasta. (They might even be (sworn) siblings. So maybe she could fill them in if they want more information.)

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[poppy-metal]

aaaa poppy going crazy bc stepsibling jordan who's older than u and just thinks you're so cute!! and is unbearably mean to you becuase of it teases you for being so sweet and oblivious :( makes fun of your girly little room and your pretty little outfits :( teases you for walking around in your tiny little sleep shorts nd how nervous u get when its just the two of u home alone. im afraid i cant take it

-🦸‍♀️

naur bc they intimidate you so bad. you dont know if they genuinely hate you, because they're always picking on you. you can't help but want their attention, even when its the two of you bickering it makes you buzz inside because their focus is on you. and oh, you can't help the way your heart pulses whenever those dark eyes land on you - zero in on you.

and we're you're all alone in that big house... a part of you is excited, like buzzing. you subconsciously dress cuter, because you've seen the kind of people jordan hooks up with, know they like feminine women and dumb himbos - you're not a himbo, but well, you put on your pinkest socks - your most delicate pjs. little bows in your hair. loiter outside your room in the kitchen, living room, just for the hopes of running into them.

when you do, its when they come back from the gym, nylon shorts hung low on their hips, tank dotted with sweat. you're sitting at the kitchen counter top, spoon dipped into your strawberry yogurt and you just kinda.... take them in. they yank open the fridge and guzzle half a water bottle down in one sip, and its almost pornogrpahic the way some spare water drips down their throat.

in masc!form you can see the way the tank clings to their chest and abs. the corded muscle in their arms. the tattoos running down their skin - gotten to piss off their dad after marrying your mother - and you're just a girl.

"parents are out." you say softly, looking down at your yogurt.

their eyes fix on you and that flush you always get around them starts in your cheeks, warms down to your belly. they finish off the water bottle, crush it in their hands. they approach the island, rest their forearms on it - jesus they're so big - your eyes dart to the silver chain that dangles around their neck. half silver chain, half pearls.

"you sound excited about that," they note. "you plannin an epic rager I should know about?"

you shake your head, giggling a little. "i dont think i even know enough people to throw a party. plus, i dont wanna anger your father - hes scary."

jordan rolls their eyes. "hes a pussy."

"jordan!"

"do what you want - he wont give a shit. you're the good girl." the way jordan says it, with a hint of resentment, deflates you a little.

"I'm not that good."

one dark brow raises. "oh yeah?"

you figet. push your spoon around the cup. "well, i haven't done bad things, like-"

"like me?"

"no!" quick to reassure. "i mean in general things that are viewed as bad. partying, drugs, alcohol, except for that one time i accidently took a sip of my moms spiked eggnog during christmas-"

jordans lips fold together like they're holding in a smile, but a little dimple peeks out. these little things you dont notice, too flustered with your own overexplaining.

"- but besides that one time, i haven't done anything but. but im not good - i mean, what is good anyway? cause a person can do all these good things and then still be a bad person with the way they think, you know."

teeth dig into jordans bottom lip as they appraise you. its clear you're embarrassed at having spoke so much. you dont realize how fucking cute you are, and that makes them want to mess with you. a little. alot. they rest their hip on the island, looking down at you.

"you have bad thoughts, baby sis?"

there goes that face flush again. "well, not evil ones."

lips quirk to the side, they tilt their head at you like you're an interesting puppy playing a trick for them. "uh huh." they hum. "what kind are they then? spiteful? bitchy? or..." they shift then, voice changing half way through their talking. "are you a little fuckin' perv up there?"

if they could frame your face they would. squirming in place. shifting in your seat, eyes darting away quickly. basically all the confirmation they need.

unbidden, the thought of you in your bed, hand between your legs, rubbing that little clit furiously to fantasies running through your head hits them and they have to swallow. fuck. they imagine your skin flushing, grinding your hips because you cant hit the spot right, frustrated. would you give upn teary eyed? or would you roll over and hump your pillow. what kind of sounds do you make? quiet and soft? throaty? they think there'd be alot of whimpers. their eyes trace down your skimpy sleep shirt. god, yeah. they could make you whimper. it'd be so fucking easy. you'd let them too. the way you're constantly looking at them with those big eyes of yours, vying for their attention. makes them want to squash you under their thumb. and make you cum.

"n-no!" you try to defend. "i just meant I'm not a goody two shoes!"

"sure you're not." they totally think that's bullshit. "wanna prove it?"

you blink at them. "prove it?"

their tongue darts out, licks their bottom lip. they feel their cunt throb in their boxers. they're kinda no better than a dog. panting at the fucking bit to get you alone all the sudden. they've thought about it before, fucking obviously. you dont get a hot new baby sister like you and not imagine fucking her. this is the first time they've considered doing something about it though.

"come on." they push off from the counter, making sure their bare shoulder brushes yours as they pass. they feel you shiver, and smirk. "lets go to my room."

they don't look back to see if you'll follow. they know you will.

[skelliko]

Hello! I loved the "when you give him butterflies" it was adorable!! If u don't mind, could u do one for rindou? But feel free to ignore this if don't want to.

Have a good day 🌷

yes certainly! even though you requested rindou I might as well do inui too just so my page is organised :) sorry for the wait, my motivation has dropped but it's back up! for now at least.

★-Tokyo revengers

- you give him butterflies -pt 2

- pt1 -here

๑-context: your 'just friends' but after him getting those butterflies from you they realise their feelings

๑-featuring: rindou, seishu

°- Rindou Haitani

• it was a bit of a shock to him, it left a warm sensation running down his body and his heart racing making him take a quick deep breath before slowly letting go all while trying to act cool, but really deep down he was left panicked

• butterflies fluttering around inside his stomach wasn't anything new but it certainly wasn't anything he's used to and knowing that your the cause for this fuzzy feeling he's getting is making him admire you in an entirely different way than before, his eyes glimmered and he was left a little speechless.

• you both were on a little trip to get something from a shop but rindou didn't know where to go since it was in a small town that he hasn't been to yet, there was a singular moment where he lost you because he was looking at the surroundings but once you found him you chose to hold onto his sleeve around his wrist

• you holding onto rindou's sleeve to drag him around and make sure that you both don't get split up, that was all fine and whatever but it was how your hand would occasionally brush against his hand and you still didn't let go nor fumble on your words

• in that moment rindou debated in either making you let go or just straight up holding your hand, but he didn't do either

• 'please let go... no dont let go' -in his mind

• even when you let go of him the butterflies and that warm feeling when your hand brushed against his still lingered and it almost felt like you never let go.

• there's no way you can get him free now, the physical grasp is gone but mentally it's as if you're holding onto him, he's confused about how he should feel and what's right or wrong because the worst thing that could happen between you two is never talking again, for once he's afraid of his own feelings.

°- Seishu Inui

• it was a bit of a step back for him. an odd feeling known as butterflies lingering in his stomach wasn't his plan at all and all his current focus has disappeared, it became difficult to concentrate and it was as if he has just got brain fog

• seishu was fixing his motorbike but as you sat down next to him your signature scent filled his nose and he felt a little at peace, well that was until his insides became a butterfly sanctuary. and taking a small look at you as you're admiring his hard work is certainly not helping him calm down for whatever this current feeling is.

• because how can you sit right next to him and accidently brush your knees together and look all pretty and cute? your torturing him. how can you be interested in his notes that he has scattered around about how to fix certain parts of the bike as if they interest you?

• how can you do all that and not kiss his cheek? or maybe lips... I mean you might as well considering how close you chose to sit next to him. well of course you didn't but Inui certainly had that on his mind that it was hard for him to look away from you

• he tried to look back at the motorbike and comfortably hold the wrench in hand to carry on but by that point he was afraid he would mess up because his heart was pounding way too much for his comfort and just your presence right here is making the air feel both sweet but heavy. he's nervous.

• he wants to open his chest with the wrench he's holding right now just to shut up his heart and make the butterflies leave

• this is definitely the start to his feelings but when will it end? when will he have the courage to change what you both have now, to be greater? he doesn't, but as of currently he wants you to leave just so he can quickly sort himself out because if you stay any longer he'd probably just impulsively confess without much thought.

 ♡----

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

HI ITS ME gvxzggsgjfh ok look this is. i know this is a weird one it is SO specific and so obviously something i should just write myself if i want it👏but👏but👏BUT i decided to shoot my shot when a perfect chance has arisenderised for you to pick and choose from anything you like AND in any form, and to see if this one maybe by any chance just so happens to spark anything fun in u too xD

ssssssssssoooooooooooooooooooooo RANDOM EVENT ROLL D20 mc gets bitten by a werewoof or some other kind of "contagious" monster species (....cant really think of anything else other than vampirs, now that i say it) but WAIT THERES MORE because. what if mc insisted that they dont want any potential existent cures, they just wanna stay monstery >:3 JVDTHGLN who's considering it, who would absolutely go in the "its either me or this" direction, who's enthusiastic🤣 this is silly as hell but in the case it sparks joy id love to hear ur any and all thoughts because this idea has been haunting me for forever lmao honestly the best way ive imagined it is like one of your own selfinsert pieces youve posted before where its just all of them together bickering heeheehee💘💕🩷💞💖

love u have fun!!

The Arcana Drabble: MC transforms into a "monster"

In the spirit of things, I though a long drabble/short oneshot would work best to keep the madness going XD

Asra's getting stuck in their "one focus and one focus only" mode and right now that focus is making sure you're okay. He'll decide how he feels later, which isn't being helped at all because Julian keeps calling on him to help him slow down the process and get you to think about this a little more. However, it's hard to tell what exactly Julian wants your decision to be because in between him trying to get Asra to make you think about it some more, he's having all kinds of medical epiphanies about how your anatomy is adjusting to the new monster form:

"MC, let's think about some more, shall we? I'm sure Asra agrees with me - don't you, Asra? Asr - oh, whats this?! Your finger's joints are rapidly adjusting to accommodate for - I need a pen and paper -"

"Right here, Ilya." It's Portia's dismissive tone as she digs a small notebook and pencil out of her pocket that keeps you grounded. Not for long, though, because she can't wait to see what happens next. "Accommodate for what, anyways? Are you growing another joint?? Are you going to get claws??? Talons???? Show me!"

Between Julian jotting down unintelligible notes while he studies your elbow's range of motion, Portia's excited exclamations, and Asra's attempt at soothing touch as they rub your shoulders and ask how you're feeling, it's a miracle you can notice Muriel's quiet mumble in the background. He's clearly overwhelmed and very concerned that the physically-altering substance in general got to your brain first, making you so seemingly okay with turning into a monster.

"MC, do you remember your name? Do you need to take a nap? You don't have to be okay with this -"

"I believe this may warrant far more than a nap to recover from." Nadia's doing her best to keep Lucio calm, holding him back from tackling you much like she might grasp a leash. You can practically see the headache building behind her eyes. "We have yet to determine what the extent of this transformation is and therefore whether our dear MC is even capable of fully agreeing to the current process. MC, darling, did the source of this transformation give you any indication of what the end result would be?"

You'd try to respond, but Lucio's excited yelling is too noisy to shout over. He's fumbling at the fastenings on his cape, distracted by your ongoing changes, and very annoyed at Nadia's interference.

"Where did it go? I want to see if it can give me powers too - OW! Dammit, Noddy, I'm trying to help here! You're keeping me from finding the monster and getting it to give me cool - I mean, getting it to tell us more about what's happening! Don't you want that? Don't you want to help MC, Noddy?! Let me go -"

It's with a loud RIP and subsequent "that was velvet, you know!" that Lucio finally breaks free and sprints off in the direction of your new monster friend. You can feel yourself slowly settling in to your new form as the process shows signs of slowing and reaching completion.

Nadia's facepalming. Portia's looking at you with eyes shining in wonder. Julian's still trying to nag Asra into reversing this as he takes notes. The magician in question is still ignoring him as they ask you how you feel for the nth time. Muriel's eyeing the nearby closet in hopes of taking a nap and waking up to it all being a dream. Lucio's a distant, spiky golden speck at this point.

Faust is quietly trying to sneak her knife into your hand, for crimes.

[etherealkissed88]

I really wanna manifest a new love interest but like I feel not good enough. Like ik im pretty (which I’ll work on more) but I just feel like I’m not enough and that they won’t like me and that I don’t deserve it. Do u have any tips for this?

you feel like your not good enough because you feel lack within. your self concept is low. self concept is your concept of self so how you view yourself, what you assume to be true about you so clearly you dont think highly of yourself. this is why fulfilling yourself is so important. satisfy yourself in imagination! what do you want to experience? being w this sp but more importantly, feeling secure in yourself and knowing you are good enough. give yourself the feeling of being secure. realize you hold the power at every given moment and you can decide you are now that person who knows they are good enough. deciding takes 1 second. great now its done. now that you are this person whos self concept is on 100, you can have fun in imagination and actually experience anything you want (-> gets you into the wish fulfilled if you havent gotten there already thro deciding).

you can imagine whatever you want that implies this confident version of you. i can give you some ideas: you can visualize a scene where you are looking at yourself in the mirror and you are loving what you see (it doesnt matter what you visualize, its the feeling it gives you so whatever scene that gives you self confidence is good). same with other techniques (affirming, scripting, inner convos, etc -> they should give you the feeling. its not the techniques that manifests, the techniques are only changing yourSELF and its SELF that manifests). anyways, when you visualize your scenes or affirm or do whatever, focus on actually satisfying yourself in imagination. what actually makes you feel “good enough”? play around with this and know a confident version of you already exists. your only job is to embody that version and decide thats you now.

someone who has a high self concept is someone who knows they are top tier and they always get what they want, etc. embody this version! from here do whatever you want: techniques or no techniques, you are being this person in imagination. with techniques, you experience what you want for fun while knowing or with the intent of knowing (getting into the state of the wish fulfilled) that its done. with no techniques, you just know/decide its done. your goal is to hold this high concept of self by satisfying yourself aka accepting/assuming it.

once youve felt this confident feeling and you can confidently say: “i know i am good enough” or if you just decided you are good enough, its done. continue being that person in imagination since thats who you are now. if you fall out this state, just get back in when your ready and know you are always perfect ! 🎀

to add: working on self concept means: you are no longer the person who thinks theyre not good enough -> you know ur good enough, (like duh). you are no longer the person who’s sp doesnt like them -> duh they like you because your literally perfect. change those assumptions on yourself. and i make it clear that getting into the state of the wish fulfilled does all that for you.