#i dont wanna be busy!!! i hate this!
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ogjeoijgeorj
#really annoying to get hows it going?? messages when you know#someone is just trying to fish to see if youre free bc its inconvenient that youre busy#like buddy#i dont wanna be busy!!! i hate this!#but you gotta leave me alone for like a week!!! i have so much to do right now!#i even have pretty good time management i just have way too much to fucking do#its not even my fault. my fucking one professor has assigned us like 4 things this week that are all projects#im gonna leave such a stern review#like dude youre not my only class!!!!
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BEEP BOOP FIC REC
HELLO I RISE BACK FROM THE DEAD TO PUSH THIS TO YOUR PLATE
I've reblogged the author's original post a while back when the first couple of chapters were written but now I finally had the time to open ao3 again and finally caught up with the chapters... BOY OH BOY ITS AMAZING PLEASE READ IT! This fic may have come from the same idea as my little prince skk childhood au BUT it's a gem on its own and has its own beautifully crafted world and written characters PLEASE PLEASE READ IT ITS SO SO GOOD!
Everyone say thank you to @uneducated-author for this beautiful work! <3 ToT I love it so so much
#fic rec#bsd#skk#bsd fic#fanfic#also please dont get confused this is a whole new entire work belonging to the writer not me! its beautiful#im just gonna use the same tag as my comics too keep all them in one place hehe#little prince skk au#i cant the fic is so so good i need to draw raaaaaaaaa#on one hand i wanna say the fic is angstier than my comics but#i think i uh. i wanna take that as a challenge#guys i promise the next part is coming soon im just so. busy i hate it here.#cheers to angst wahoo#also set the characters and their roles differently compared to the fic but hey thats the cool thing about two people making different work
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doctober day 20: rear-view mirror
the REAL reason that the cops and jennifer got to the house before they did is bc they were stuck circling the block for like ten minutes ://
#back to the future#bttf#doctober#doctober 2023#marty mcfly#doc brown#emmett brown#michael j fox#christopher lloyd#my arts#my sketchy wip arts#unless i just cant find a good reference image. im like 99% sure the delorean does NOT in fact have a rearview mirror#like they are always looking in the side mirror and tbf theres a lot of timey wimey stuff in the way back there so fair enough. but yah#them when traffic laws >:(#fr tho i HATE when i wanna turn around but theres no u turn >:// and bc they dont have a mirror they cant even pull into a side street rip#anyway this is stupid LOL i was gonna do something actually good but i was looking at refs and had a brainwave so yuh#also pretend einstein is there >_> i was too lazy to draw him#im gonna finally look at everyones stuff now EYYY !!!!!!! :D#ive been sooo busy its awful (hence lateness) ;__; but im gonna try and do something cute tomorrow (today ig) so yay !
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Bought one of my lil nephew giannis shoes for his birthday bcs he loves giannis and these are some of the ugliest fucking things I have ever laid my eyes on in my life. anyways it's his bday today so i gave them to him. but they are so ugly. he loves them
#i am not a sneakerhead#i wish i could be . finacially i can be. but mentally i cannot#i am not a car guy either. i could. but i cant mentally#bcs the only time id get smthing pretty is to look at it. and keep it safe#and then id want to km$ for not using smthing thats intended to be used bcs i hate wasted potential#once i got these rlly nice shoes#ive worn them once when i was trying them on#and i hate myself every day for doing that but also i just cant get them dirty#BUT I HATE THAT#some ppl can do that. they get a million things and only use it once and yea i COULD but psychologically i just CANT#im friends with a lot of sneakerheads and chain wearers and while i cant mentally make myself one#i can understand why they can#like ppl always wanna excuse not helping ppl by pointing at the stuff they already have#like oh u can buy urself a chain but cant buy ur momma and u a nicer place to live#like ok so credit scores are not existent then. especially when ppl use that phrase against ppl growing into crime like#yes they are making money now but is it good clean money? no. thats not gonna go into smthing long term n hefty like a house#chains are a rlly big thing bcs sometimes some jewelers just dont ask questions. hence bmf's jeweler getting roped into their crime schemes#any business can be like that btw. like michael jacksons doctor getting paid to kill him. the difficulty lvl just changes#and also. random ppl make fun of the stuff they can see or hear right in front of them#random ppl can and will make u feel bad abt any little thing they know or see the best bcs theyre assholes like that#u wear shoes all the time everywhere. thats more and more eyes noticing how old/dirty ur shoes are#or ur cars old n busted or ur phones a fucking android like it doesnt matter. the more ppl can see. the more theyll know#the more sensitive u get abt whats actually small to u at the start but big 2 them n then it gets big 2 u#anyways yea so like. i get it. i dont do it but i can see why others do#anyways yea these shoes are so ugly lol like i dont buy merch of my favs unless the style matches mine personally#he just liked them bcs they were giannis tbh n then i pointed out they were modeled after 1 of the jerseys#which made he rlly want them a while back so i surprised him today#but yea these things are ugly lol im glad he likes them but ew LMFAO
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ive actually put myself in so many situations and seem to come out doing socially well, youd think at some point i could get it in my head im not irredeemably bad
#that post about dysphoria like ‘u feel like ur covered in slime and people will eventually see the rot’ rly truly hits it#idek if its dysphoria or autism or what at this point#maybe its everything#but shit#ive stayed at hostels and hung out with and chatted w complete strangers#i went back to my hs reunion this week and actually hung out w people i thought didnt fw me anymore#my coworkers generally seem to like me- its felt rare when one didnt which is a shocking percentage#ive maintained friendships with my core group of friends despite living w them for over a year (u know how that can go) and not#being able to participate in like half the activities they do (sex parties i dont wanna attend or im busy at work)#made internet friends. believe it or not there was a time as a teen i thought id never be able to do that!#shit bitch even the guy i like who i constantly worry secretly hates me#and i constantly worry only puts up with me etc#yeah he doesnt always seem to let me in much but he barely lets anyone in?#comparatively he does seem to let me in a lot#i really have to remember to put things in perspective sometimes#just bc im not in my holmes/watson era or facetiming someone all day doesnt mean im a lonely loser……. smh#there was once a time i had no irl friends. I CHANGED THAT. I DID THAT. i can do anything
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hopping in and out again to wish everyone a tgif !!!! and a happy weekend !!!
#i am eating a veggie bibimbap rn#i rlly haven't been on tumblr much or online at all tbh sdfb this week was so busy and i didnt anticipate to be so tired#i also feel guilty going on here without finishing the shouto fic HBHFB#i rlly am putting most of my attention to it its just that the fic is rlly getting so long#its going to be 15k+ for sure hsbdfjh#these days ive just been watching queen of tears with my bf hjbgj like i get home from work and rest for a bit then we watch#then i knock out asleep later#my anxiety was also thru the roof this week so thats why i couldnt get much writing done#BUTTTT ok. i am working hard to get the shouto fic out as soon as i can ! i rlly hate that it's been getting delayed bc#i dont wanna seem like i dont keep my word ESPECIALLY since it was a sponsored fic for ficsforgaza#buT i am ON IT ! it is the only thing im pouring all my writing energy into#this is also why i havent been reading much fjhbs or dropping by inboxes jshbdj i feel so guilty without finishing the fic first#i talked so much again
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:(
#hate being poor#bc a asked me if i still watch dan and phil and i was like omg yes!!!#he still watches them too#and then he asked me if im going to their tour this year when they come to sthlm T-T#and i was like .... no i couldnt make it work sadly!!!#bc like im just too ashamed to keep saying i cant afford. my entire life i had to always say no to things bc i didnt have money#and im 25 and its embarrassing that im still in that place 🙃🙃🙃#so he was like ah thats too bad but if u manage to make it work tell me then we can go together!!!#i wanna cry..... if i had just any money i could've gone to sthlm w him and see dan and phil's show.....#i wanna dieeeeee why am i poor (bc im useless and stupid)#that wouldve been so fun :((( and i never get to do stuff like that bc i dont have anyone to do anything with or any money#and then he just suddenly asked me abt it and im so confused and didnt expect that?????? :o#but ofc as always i have to say no sorry haha im busy!!! bc i have no money ._.
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bout to go walk around a foreign city by myself and try not to trigger my anxiety wish me luck
#the others are all heading to the conference and i got no business there#sooo im gonna go look for a manga shop lol hope i dont die of social awkwardness#i hate Being Perceived ill wear my hoodie headphones and keep my head low#burrito talks#delete later#also also prompts are oficially empty if yknow. u wanna send some in
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for the love of god someone convince me from texting my ex, i daydreamed too closr to the sun and now i want attention😭
#its not a door i should open#but idk if im crazy and i need to drop my suspicions and try again or if im really going to be right some day#and we get involved again then that person comes along and its a messy awful breakup and i just cant do that to them#but fuck i wish i could be with them#i would love them but the problem is (aside from their drinking) it would be so easy to fall in love with them#but they want long term and aside from me knowing im leaving the province soon i dont think wish how i am now id be okay with pretending#its not fair#i want to see them again#im jealous of attention they probably get and that theyve probably given#and i really hate how i was made and that i cant just go with the flow#but again drinking and dark eyes aside theyre practically perfect#i miss them so much sometimes that im actually posting more on instagram in the hopes theyll notice me again#i wonder if they think about me or if theyre too busy getting laid#cause theyre in a band so duh obviously theyre getting laid#I FUCKING HATE MY INABILITY TO BE ATTRACTED TO PEOPLE#ITS NOT FAIR#I HATE MY SUPERSTITIONS SO DAMN MUCH I WANT TO LET THEM GO AND BE HAPPY BUT I CANT#I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT THE PERSON I WANT TO BE WITH WITH PRETTY BLUE EYES AND BIG HANDS#fuck nate was so close to perfect and i love that theyre so interesting and fuck i think id just give in if they had blue eyes#i could ignore the other problems and feel better about trying to be with them#mostly i just want them to kiss me and hug me again#they were so gentle about it and it felt so safe and i wanna cry cause i know its not fair to contact them#but fuck i wish i could#i dont want to be alone anymore and they made me laugh#i dont know what to do but i wish it was easier to at least meet people if not date them#i just want to feel something for someone new so i can feel like im over them#but sadly they work at ikea and its not even the closest one to me but i have to go there for a new mattress topper and jars#and i keep imagining running into them AND ITS FUCKING ME UP i want to talk to them but i cant do that
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tried to put myself in the headspace of a transphobe and got pissed off cus it's so fucking stupid
#genuinely i have no fucking idea how people get so up their own ass about other peoples business#you dont like it? it makes you uncomfortable? tough shit buddy thats life#i see dogshit on the sidewalk and it makes me feel gross. but im not going to make hating dogshit my entire personality#im not gonna fucking ban dogs because i dont want to look at dogshit#im not gonna follow people home when they dont clean up after their dogs#ill get pissed about it in the moment sure. i wish people would clean up after their dogs. but its not going to consume the rest of my day#being uncomfortable and not liking things is a part of the human experience baby!!!!#trying to get rid of every little thing that makes you uncomfortable defeats the point of being alive!!!#you just wanna stay in your little bubble?? scared of anyone who doesnt fit your narrow view of what a person should be??#that sounds so fucking sad#nothing new nothing exciting#just straight cis white folks living their straight cis white lives#AND DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON HOW FUCKING STUPID RACISM IS HOLY SHIT#there is an entire world of different people with different cultures and experiences and art and foods and you dont want any part of it???#because somebody spoke in spanish and you didnt understand them#the world does not revolve around you#people should not have to sacrifice their identity for your comfort#literally just mind your own business. someones elses gender is not your business.#terfs eat shit and die
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are self-insert ocs or just ocs in an existing piece of media cringe now?
#disclaimer the tags ive written here and the main point r kinda different; mostly a dive into my brain#TAG TLDR; i wanna make an ‘and bumblebee’ ahh oc mostly for shipping am i cringe and self-centred?#people usually hate on self-inserts or ocs IAEPOM so much it makes me scared to make an oc myself#like i dont mind if u created an oc for shipping purpose or something else etc etc bc i might do the same myself#we have zero freedom in fandoms nowadays#i wanted to make an oc in demon slayer mostly to ship her with an existing character#<- shes not a self insert tho#i want to share my ideas about her and her backstory and etc etc#i dont want to make her and share her and wait for validation— but there are a lot of people online who rather than minding their business-#-> will leave unsavoury comments about her or smth or how annoying ocs are and a person like me cant ‘ignore’ that since im kinda ->#-> sensitive towards negativity#i genuinely dont know what to say anymore or how to explain it
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Thinks abt comic Siffrin. This could be a playground I think. If I felt like it. If I so chose.
#rat rambles#stars posting#I do also just enjoy the concept of other siffrins that existed before loop as well#either just the one extra or potentially even more if you wanna get funky with it#Im leaning more towards the one option but the many option is more funny#idk I just think it'd be a bit fucked up if there was another siffrin who made a desperate wish and just got completely whiped for it#bonus points if that sifs version of things was quite drastically different than loop and current sifs versions were#like a whole different party than the other two#thatd be fun#I do enjoy myself some timeline fuckery that leads to disturbing implications and several layers of tragedy#I already have three stories with that as a major element so it was only a matter of time before I look at isat through the same lense#the lace loop meetup would go crazy (theyd probably hate eachother)#speaking of lace I dont think Ive actually been like. posting abt her story huh.#well just know that Ive been working on that story a lot along with a billion other projects that have been keeping me busy#isat is actually the reason Ive been working on lace's story again since the two have a decently large amount in common#still very different stories like fundimentally but timeloop that takes place near the end of an rpg esc adventure is present in both#although the timeloop that lace is in is no longer the main focus of the entire story#well it hasnt been in a long time but Ive been actually fleshing out what the story is actually act more recently#and I keep going back to isat to get back into a creative mood anytime I feel like Im stagnating too much#which brings us back to the actual point of this post. yay.#anyways I need to go to bed even if Im half tempted to try to write smth with my current 3rd sif idea
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#i am so serious the worst thing that has ever happened to me is finding this one ohshc x creepypasta + reader quotev fanfic and i really#really loved it but then it slowly devolved in quality and then got an author switch and the new author didnt write an actual story or even#finish it and i am so sad but i dont wanna end on a bad note so i never finished it nor the chapters written by the first author i really#liked that it was no romance and focused on the relationships of reader and toby being like siblings and it was extremely weird but very#sweet that they were explicitly like toby was happy to join ouran/the host club because he was like i never got a normal hs experience or#got to feel like i fit in anywhere That is such a strange way of approaching it but i really liked that also its just funny in that uninten#tional 2010s fanfic way and also there wasnt unnecessary death until there was and i started disliking it. ofc i dont really like the chees#cake jokes (iirc there were a few) but also reader getting calls from the creepypastas was so cute and sweet i love when people agree that#they are like a family moreso than a business or like Realistically theyd hate each other nuh uh they are sweet stupid family Ok#i just love how genuine and sweet the relationships are and that the slender mansiob is so supportive and checks in on reader#you can read old ao3/quotev fanfics but watch out you will like them and they will never be finished#the solution.. is to do it yiurself…
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body u know what would be sooooooooo nice is if ud let me sleep more than 30 seconds thanks babe bye
#im genuinely fuming#nothing to do at all#no alarms or anything#and when do i wake up?#TEN#what the hell business do i have being awake at ten#i wake up and im EXHAUSTED then i cant het back to sleep#shoot me in the fucking face#google how to be normal#google how to make your body not hate you#im gonna make a folder in my gallery for self titled george because the way i wanna fuck that man#relentlessly telling him he did good on stage til he creams his pants or whatever#is creaming your pants a thing people actually do#i think my body is just a little broken#my school definitely was i dont KNOW ANYTHING#blah blah!#not 75 stuff
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I shoulda expected this but my ma went n told my aunt bout me havin my girl over n now i gotta tell her all about it like cmonnnnnnnnnnmm -_-
#cant keep shit to myself augh#i just wanted to get used to havin her ariund before tellin all my business damn!!!!#also dont wanna have to deal with my aunt possibly bein transphobic bc i she isnt. bout this like my ma is#Not that id expect that of her but she was weird bout me changin my name n doesnt know im nb so#ugh#i just hate when she talks about me n i find out bc my aunt tells me what shes sayinggggggggg#mag.txt
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watching water 7. zoro is my ENEMY we are FOES
#text post#I DONT WANNA HEAR THAT BULLSHIT RN DAWG I JUST GOT MY HEART RIPPED OUT OF MY CHESSTTTT#i have so many thoughts on the argument that i almost don’t know what to say#one piece#water 7#please i feel SO bad for usopp its insane. like how thoughtless and careless of them#it was a thoughtless way to handle the situation. they both had no business letting it get to that point#but the clash of a bruised / inflated(?) ego will lead you down a dark path#i really really really hate this so bad#and zoro who can’t STFU.#i don’t actually hate him he’s just pissin me off rn.#i know he’s probably as sad as everyone else is rn and he’s emotionally constipated but come ON!
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